Welcome to the One Shot Derby, the character creation competition between three different TTRPGs! After we play all three, You, The People, will vote on the game and setting in which we’ll play a one shot. First up, sisters try to write books and avoid tragedy in Regency England in Battle of the Brontes!
Check out the expansion that Eric wrote for this episode, Battle of the Brontes: WELCOME TO THE SENSIBILITY-DOME, and the original game by Oliver Darkshire.
Schedule
- January 10: Oneshot Derby 2
- January 17: Oneshot Derby 3
- January 24: Oneshot Derby Afterparty + Voting Opens
- January 31: Campaign 3 begins!!
Sponsors
- Battling Blades, where you can get 20% off your order at BattlingBlades.com using code JointheParty at check out.
- Brilliant, the best way to learn math, science, and computer science interactively. The first 200 people to visit brilliant.org/jointheparty will get 20% off Brilliant's annual premium subscription.
- Betterhelp, where you can get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty
Find Us Online
- website: jointhepartypod.com
- patreon: patreon.com/jointhepartypod
- twitter: twitter.com/jointhepartypod
- facebook: facebook.com/jointhepartypod
- instagram: instagram.com/jointhepartypod
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- merch & music: jointhepartypod.com/merch
Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host, Co-Producer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host, Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host, Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- One-Shot Derby Editor and Sound Designer: Mischa Stanton
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: The year is 1945 and the Boys and Girls Club of Lewisboro, New York are all coming down to do the Derby. It's the thing that brings the whole community together during the town because they get—they're able to compete with each other. But this isn't the regular workshop Derby that you have to put wheels at some fucking cart that doesn't even go that fast. It's games. The new thing is playing games without a board or just some dice and your imagination. We talk—we talk to the head of creative sports of the United States. Irving Goodsie Good, who told us this thing about how the One Shot Derby is sweeping the entire nation.
Brandon: If Mischa didn't put some kind of like vinyl effect over that, then I'm going to have to fire them, unfortunately.
Eric: I know, I'm sure they did it.
Amanda: I'm sure they did.
Eric: Hello, we're getting-- coming in from Director Good—Goodsie Good right now.
Amanda: Before we start campaign three, we wanted to do something fun as a little break.
Brandon: Ask not what your dice can do for you, but what you can do for your dice?
Eric: We're gonna go into Cuba and it's gonna be fine.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Amanda: Trickle down economics— wait that's too late. That's too late.
Eric: No, that's later. No, that's later.
Julia: It was a great Reagan impression, Amanda.
Amanda: No idea what the man sounded like. Thank you.
Julia: What are we doing today?
Eric: We're starting the One Shot Derby, folks.
Brandon: Yaaay.
Eric: I don't know if you were listening—
Amanda: Yaaay.
Eric: You weren’t listening to that old-timey newsreel that I supplied?
Julia: I thought that was from the past.
Brandon: [laughs] Wait, let me put on my hat. I forgot to put on my hat. Yut.
Amanda: Damn, I can't believe Brandon came in the early 20th-century version of naked to this meeting, wearing no hat.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Brandon, I love your brown derby, are you also going to invent the cobb salad?
Brandon: I—I am, and then we're gonna throw it directly in the trash.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: Brutal.
Amanda: [laughs] Julia, that's a really good joke.
Julia: Hey guys, thanks.
Amanda: Here's a joken.
Eric: Oh my god. Alright. Here’s what-- [laughs] You can tell the energy is good because we're not tied to any particular story of the moment.
Amanda: Weee.
Eric: So you can tell the campaign is over. Summer is over.
Amanda: Awww.
Eric: We all went home, we have to go to school. And we haven't started campaign three yet. Which we've already recorded episodes for, so we're just making you wait a little bit longer.
Brandon: Wow, so cruel.
Eric: Yeah, dude. [laughs] They're here. They're already locked in. I've—I've decided I'm really—in 2023 I'm accepting being a heel and I'm gonna lean into that.
Julia: That's fair. That's fair.
Amanda: We already have their download, if they're hearing our voices.
Eric: Yes exactly. Like you—you guys love it. You fucking love it. So we—before we start campaign three, we want to do something a little fun as a break. There are so many different tabletop RPGs out there as demonstrated by Monster of the Week, and being able to take a moment to do that was very fun. And also we have so many ideas for characters.
Julia: All the time.
Eric: And not everyone gets to like pour it into their game like I do. You—you three just need to sit on it and just stew, and Julia like fantasizes about all the characters she could have been—
Julia: So often.
Eric: —the entire time. And Amanda raised the bar with Dr. Bertha Bones.
Amanda: Yeah, like gout. It all just goes through my blood system until it concentrates a little crystals, and then I just say something like pistons, and it just comes out.
Eric: And Brandon's just trying to figure out a new character, all the various ways you can wear shorts as a character.
Amanda: None.
Brandon: Wear them, none. Yeah.
Eric: You can—you can extend them into pants only. All of your characters have very rigid bottom half of their torso standards.
Brandon: You can color in your legs with a Sharpie.
Eric: Now you did Les, that was already there.
Brandon: Oh right. Alright. Yeah, yeah.
Eric: It was covered in mud to protect himself with the wilderness.
Julia: Makes sense.
Amanda: But wait, Eric, what if we get attached to these characters and we want to see them play out in an actual game if all we're doing is creating the characters in these episodes?
Eric: Well, that's a very good point, Amanda. Maybe we can actually play out some of these, and some one-shots that we're going to do.
Brandon: WHAAAT?!
Julia: WOAAAH.
Eric: So this is the One-Shot Derby. For the next three weeks, we're going to be recording character creation episodes, as if we were going to do three different one-shots in three different game systems. During the fourth week, we are going to do an after-party about all three of the characters that we're going to put together. Once that after-party is out, we're going to put a poll up, so everyone can vote on what characters we should bring to life. What game, what story you want to see us actually do? We're going to record that one shot, and then we're gonna put that one shot on Patreon in the next few months.
Brandon: Fuck yeah, let's do it.
Amanda: Yeaaaah.
Julia: Let's goooo.
Eric: Alright. Now it's 1945 and everyone understands what the One-Shot Derby is about.
Amanda: Weee.
Julia: Wooo.
Brandon: We took down Hitler and then decided to do One-Shot Derby.
Julia: A celebration.
Amanda: With all the extra metal we have lying around.
Brandon: Women, leave the factories now.
Eric: We've—we've renamed the One Shot Derby, the America—the America celebration of taking down Hitler.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And also—and also tabletop RPG game. Oh god okay. So this first one—uh we have to get out of this America, this 1940s Americana.
Amanda: And I was gonna say what—what can we play that's in like the—the distant past. The past of when our parents were born from 1945.
Eric: But it's so far back. The only way we can access it is if we go to our local library and look at a book.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: What?
Eric: Maybe written by one of those sisters, who like to write books so much about being sad.
Julia: Was trying to think of any other author besides the one that we're actually talking about. Couldn’t do it.
Brandon: Mary Shelley.
Julia: Mary Shelley.
Eric: Mary Shelley and her sister Barry Shelley.
Brandon: Virginia Woolf.
Eric: So, what we're going to play der— Derby One, this car. So our first One-Shot Derby contestant is Battle of the Brontes by Oliver Darkshire. Just a one-page RPG, you can find it for free online. Shout out to Oliver. We actually played this game once before. We played this with a good friend G, who at the highest level of our Patreon got to play a game with us. And it was so much fun, and we kind of like threw together a bunch of stuff on the fly in terms of fleshing out our characters, that I wanted to like formalize a little bit more to turn this into a real actual play one-shot thing we can do.
Amanda: We caught a cold on the Moors so many times then that came.
Julia: Oh my gosh, which so many times. We all got sick on the Moors, and we also drank from the poison well so many times.
Brandon: Why did we keep doing that?
Amanda: Oh we couldn't stop drinking the poison well.
Eric: It was so funny. Uh, so.
Brandon: I didn't realize it was so hard to get your book published in that time, but there's—it's so hard.
Julia: Especially when you have a brother that keeps burning down your house.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: This is all very relevant to the game. This didn’t just come up. This is how you probably play the game and this is gonna be very fun. Again, you can—you can Google if you want to find this game, you can look it up on Google or you can find the link in the episode description. But what I did is, I made an expansion pack for Battle of the Brontes.
Amanda: It's like the thing that you put your JoyCons into to make a regular controller size—
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Switch controller.
Eric: The—I—It's like I added a rumble pack—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: To battle this one-page Battle of the Brontes. So using some stuff that I've put together from Clear eyes, Full hearts, which is a game I made with Mischa Stanton, a GM lists game about running a high school sports drama. I kind of flesh it out. So now this is Battle of the Bronte's plus Welcome to the Sensibility Dome
Julia: Jesus.
Amanda: Can I make a request before we get started?
Eric: Uh Sure.
Amanda: Can we sort of assign a der—like describe the Derby car of each of these one-shots before we start? Like for the Brontes, I think it would probably be like matte black or a hearse or something.
Brandon: A hearse.
Amanda: I think that'd be very fun.
Julia: Well, I crocheted all these doilies, and now it's covered in doilies.
Amanda: Yes, but they're black for—for death.
Eric: I like that. It's matte black, it's covered in doilies. And in the back is our aunt who disapproves of everything we do, and there's nothing we can do to make her love us.
Amanda: Yeah. But she has to chaperone us constantly.
Eric: Yeah, we need a chaperone because there's so many boys around.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Excellent, thank you.
Eric: I'm also publishing the document that has all this stuff in the episode description as well. So we're gonna be going through the character creation segments of Battle of the Bronte's plus, welcome to the sensibility dome, which is gonna allow all of us to come up with our character, give ourselves a little bit some archetypes and some stats to deal with. And also, you know, build some relationships between all of our characters before we play the actual game, which also has a little bit of a bonus to it. But let me read the summary of the game, is written by Oliver Darkshire. You're one of the several sisters in a family blessed with talented writers. Secretly you know you're the most gifted, and you'll prove it by any means necessary. Dark.
Brandon: Do you think Oliver Darkshire is his real name, because that's the coolest fucking name.
Julia: I was gonna say the same thing Brandon
Brandon: I’ve ever heard.
Julia: That's such a dope name.
Amanda: It's either a great name by—by fate or a great name by choice. They're both excellent.
Eric: Absolutely. Okay, so the way that we're gonna—we play this as all of us is going to be a Bronte-Esque sister, that's what we're trying to figure out here. Step one is called Birth Order is a Cruel and Unwanted Fate.
Brandon: I think you should also say out loud whenever something that you made, and when it's something Oliver made because I want to say, woo, Eric.
Eric: Oh, this is all me. Everything go—everything about this is me—is me going forward. And I can I—
Brandon: [high pitch voice] Woo, Eric.
Eric: —and I will illustrate when it's something that I'm pulling from the game and not. So hopefully I don't know I—I'm trying to figure out how to integrate the two because I've like made a—you know, it's like one of those things where it's like you have to have the base game to buy this.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: So do not buy Welcome to the Sensibility Dome without buying Battle of the Bronte for $3.99. So we're all going to roll one D6, and we're going to arrange ourselves from highest to lowest.
[dice roll]
Brandon: No whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy.
Eric: I got a 5.
Amanda: 2.
Brandon: 4.
Julia: 4. We're twins. Brandon, we're twins.
Brandon: Twins!
Amanda: Oh God.
Eric: Wonderful. So we're gonna start, so I'm the oldest, Amanda's the youngest and Julia and Brandon are currently the middle of twins, right?
Brandon: Twins, twins, twins, twins, twins.
Julia: Twins!!!
Eric: There is a twins clause—
Amanda: Huh Yaaay.
Eric: So, when two—when two characters tie, you are twins. Immediately call out if you're the good twin or the bad twin.
Brandon: Good.
Julia: Bad.
Eric: Wonderful. I want to say if you both say you were the good twin, both of you would have been ill-fated. And if you both say you're the bad twin, then there you go. That's your answer.
Brandon: I just wanted to make sure that Julia said that. I said good.
Eric: I hear you. it's—It's the prisoner's dilemma. And you—you've—you solved it.
Julia: We did it. We did it.
Amanda: Incredible.
Brandon: I'm better than all economists.
Amanda: It's not hard, Brandon.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: And everyone on every single game show ever. Okay, beautiful.
Julia: Brandon, we should definitely have rhyming names. So start thinking about good rhyming names.
Brandon: Well, Eric and I on Slack today, for no reason just started saying yim yam.
Eric: No, I—I was—I was writing a message instead of writing you, I wrote yam. And then Brandon responded with yam. And then I said yam, and then Brandon continued to rhyme.
Brandon: It's very important that I responded in a thread.
Eric: Yeah. You threaded it.
Julia: Of course, naturally.
Amanda: Yes, yes.
Julia: I can't believe we're twins Brandon, this is fantastic.
Eric: That’s incredible. I also want to say that if you—if you play this at home, and you roll triplets or a larger group of siblings, and that's too absurd and all of you need to reroll.
Amanda: Smart, smart, games can’t contain every eventuality.
Eric: Yeah, that what—what is this? Jane Austen meets triplets? No.
Brandon: No.
Julia: Unacceptable.
Amanda: Is this Disney Channel original movie’s, Quints? I don't think so.
Eric: No no no.
Julia: Is that a real movie?
Amanda: Oh, sure is Julia, which I watched, and as the older sister of twins thought, at least is not that bad.
Julia: Yeah, there you go. That's probably why your parents let you watch that. They're like, yeah, let her know. Let her know. It could be worse.
Eric: Incredible. Alright, well, we're gonna go to step two. Which sister are you? Taking this Buzzfeed quiz serialized over 54 newspaper issues. Each of us are going to choose our archetype, which is going to allow us to flesh out how we play the game going forward in our—in our character creation. So let's start with one of us. I guess Amanda as the youngest, you get to go first.
Amanda: Weee. Alright, I rolled a three, which on this table says that I am the smart one who is mean or misunderstood.
Eric: Got it. So you can choose that, or you can choose an archetype most closely associated with your birth order, which means as the youngest, you either are the baby, the doted on one who doesn't get to do anything, or you can be the sickly one.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: Which I think you've played in the last game.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: So I don't know if you want to do it again—
Amanda: It was sick.
Eric: —but it was so funny.
Amanda: It was.
Brandon: It was sick, Amanda?
Amanda: Ayee.
Eric: So you can do that, or you can make up your own archetype, but all of us need to approve it.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: And make sure that it's different than any of the ones on the table.
Amanda: I would love to just be the baby. Not a role I've gotten to do in my life, and I find it very fun to do here.
Brandon: Let me tell you, it's a great role.
Eric: I'm the baby, gotta love me.
Brandon: Can't ground me, you're too tired.
Amanda: Wawa.
Eric: Alright. Brandon as the good one, you get to go next.
Brandon: Great.
Eric: As the good twin.
Brandon: [dice roll] Dos, the quiet one, whether bookish, shy or hurt by a disease.
Julia: Jesus.
Brandon: Oh my god. Eric, you know I gotta be hurt by a disease, buddy.
Eric: Yeah, yeah dude.
Amanda: Yaaay.
Eric: You could have some sort—it doesn't have to be a real disease, you can say like the vapors or British bronchitis. So you're quiet because you've been—you were—you were diseased as a child and you never learned how to socialize. I think that’s kinda what we’re getting at.
Brandon: [British accent] Oi, I clean chimney and I've got the block lung.
Eric: How did you get black lung? Why did we send the good twin to clean chimneys?
Julia: Oh because I forced her to go do it my—because it was my chore. I was like actually, you know what, you should go do it.
Eric: I like it, you have to clean the chimney so much, you got black lung.
Brandon: Somehow Julia-- It was Julia's characters chore, but somehow you convinced our parents or our whatever—whoever is guardianing us that I am you, and you are me. Because they can never tell us apart anyway.
Julia: Classic twins stuff.
Amanda: But like yeah, you already have soot under your fingernails, you might as well go back, what are we gonna do?
Eric: If being the good twin doesn't keep you from adults not giving a shit about you.
Amanda: Yeah. You’re going to pierce both of our ears? Don't be absurd. C’mon.
Eric: Yeah. Alright, wonderful. Uh, Julia, why don't you go?
Julia: [dice roll] I rolled 4, the attractive one, who all the boys want to marry, but actually has a passion.
Eric: Wonderful.
Julia: Definitely gotta go with that one. Keeping that one. Love it.
Eric: As a middle—as a middle child though, you do have the option again of making up your own or as the middle child, you can use the—the middle child characteristic of the ignored one.
Julia: No, I think I'm gonna stick with attractive, all the boys want to marry me. I feel like that's a really fun angle for me to take.
Eric: Gotcha.
Amanda: It's really fun as the bad twin too.
Eric: Remember though you people might think that all you care about is boys, but you also have a passion for something.
Julia: That's true. I do and it's flowers.
Eric: Oh nice. Hell yeah.
Brandon: I thought you're gonna say was fucking over your siblings.
Julia: That too.
Eric: It's murder. Alright, I gotta go. [dice roll] Alright, I roll the 6. Perfect. This is the religious, occult, spiritualism, or institutionalized one.
Brandon: How do you always get this Eric?
Amanda: Jealous.
Eric: The vibe I'm trying to bring. I'm—I want to pick one of these, because again I can choose the spirits who are talking to me, and whether or not people are okay with that, or they want to put me in a mental institution. I'm probably gonna go with spiritualism. I really like the idea that like all I care about is bringing ghosts back. Fun fact, when I was trying to look up the word spiritualism, I went on Wikipedia and looked up Mary Todd Lincoln, because I could not go further than that in my brain.
Julia: Well, since we're Brontes, you're probably really obsessed with like channeling the spirit of Prince Albert.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah. I love that.
Julia: That's the right time period, I think. I'm pretty sure.
Brandon: I do also want to pitch you, you can be—you can also have this bent if you would like to wear a lot of women in spiritualism of that time, where like hucksters for lack of a better word, because—
Eric: Sure, sure.
Brandon: —they couldn't have actual jobs.
Eric: Oh, yeah. Like, I'll have parties charging people to do it. Yes.
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah, so that's also an option for you.
Eric: That sounds sad as hell, I'm 100% going to do that. I could have also chose the regular oldest one archetype, which is the extra mother, but I decided to be crazy instead.
Julia: Yaayy.
Eric: Hell yeah. Speaking of being-- seeing ghosts, let's all choose our gifted child power. Because we're all precocious young women in Austinian times, we get to have a gifted power, which means when we play the game, we can reroll any die if we give more tragedy points to ourselves, which is going to lead us to die if we have too many tragedy points.
Amanda: It's really fun when you die in the game though, don't worry.
Eric: Yeah. This may—So all of us are going to choose one. I have some examples here. A lot of these were written, Oliver wrote some of these; you can see perfectly in the dark, you can talk to crows but I added, you can also talk to cows.
Amanda: Good.
Eric: If you want to instead. You make no sound when you walk, or your dreams are prophetic. But I added you have a disguise that makes you look like a boy. Or you have Sherlockian deductive reasoning.
Amanda: Excellent.
Eric: So you could use any of these examples or come up with one on your own.
Julia: Can I do something like your dreams are prophetic, and instead, it's like I can read tea leaves.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Yeah, you could, you're—you're in a fortune telling, a 100%. Again, this is really, there's no mechanical difference on what you choose here. It's just the only thing that changes is how if you end up using the gifted child's ability to reroll something, you just need to say why and how. So it really doesn't mean whatever you feel like.
Brandon: I would like to make no sound while I walk. Because there's nothing scarier than a zombie coming up behind you and going, [high pitched cough].
Eric: There’s just coughs-- the only way we can hear random characters is when they cough.
Julia: Yep, yep, that makes sense.
Amanda: Incredible.
Brandon: Did you—did you make the soup today?
Amanda: And I would love to talk to uh—talk to cows. Because I love the idea of me, walking through the fields being like these all my friends. They are the cows.
Julia: Incredible.
Brandon: [high pitch] This is Spot and Mary.
Eric: [high pitch] This is Daisy. She's my favorite. Don't tell the other cows. I think I'm gonna see perfectly in the dark. That feels very much on—on-brand as being the only one who knows where the candle is.
Brandon: Yeah, that's how you do—that's how you do the fake seances.
Amanda: It is.
Eric: Yes, exactly.
Julia: You know what, I changed my mind. I want to do Sherlockian deductive reasoning.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: That's too good.
Eric: Here's the thing, it's only going to be a party trick because no one gives a shit when you have to say.
Julia: That's fine. That's why I want to be like very smart, but no one like you know, I'm too hot. So people don't like listen what I have to say.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah. A 100% I like that your—your passion is deductive reasoning.
Amanda: Incredibly funny.
Eric: It’s solving crimes, but you get no credit.
Amanda: Because think about how useful that would be in the—in the dating market, of being able to go out and be like, ah, yes, his hems are slightly ragged so his housekeeper hates him. Therefore, he's actually a bad person.
Julia: Uh-huh, a 100%.
Eric: And Julia, that means you can make any conclusion you want, and the story is just gonna fucking warp to whatever you say.
Amanda: Yeaaah.
Eric: Much like a Sherlock Holmes novel.
Brandon: It's like Sherlockian warp drive.
Eric: Yeah. Just in case the family of Arthur Conan Doyle is listening, Julia's character will have no personality. So it's—it's fair use.
Julia: It's fine. So long as my name is not Sherlock Holmes.
Eric: Well, speaking of, let's go to step three, which is the naming. Now that we've all chosen our archetypes, and we have our birth order. We're going to choose names for each of our characters. We're going to choose the name for our brother, which is very important for how to play this game. And we need to choose our British very British last name. If we get stuck, we can just suppose a saint of something ridiculous, looking up and then add son to the name of that saint.
Julia: Sure. Makes sense. Makes sense.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: So does anybody have strong feelings on our last name? In the original gam we’re all named Brontes, right?
Eric: We cannot choose Brontes. That's off—
Julia: Great.
Eric: —that's off the table. I feel like it was, we’re existing in like an alternate UK.
Amanda: You guys might be interested to know that Brontes was just a name that was made up. Their dad thought that his real last name which was Bronte was too Irish and working class. So he just adopted the name of Brontes. So may I suggest something like Brunty or Prunt? In Iris, It's the different last name, but it was anglicized as Brunty.
Julia: Can I yes, and that? Can we keep using Bronte, but again, it's too working class. So we decided to really zhuzh it up with English style. So it's like Bruntingwaithe or something like that?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: That's pretty good.
Amanda: That'd be very good.
Eric: Can we also change from a B to a P, because P is classier.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Pruntingwaithe.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Pruntingwaithe.
Julia: Okay, I’m writing that down.
Amanda: That's very good.
Eric: I love Pruntingwaithe.
Amanda: Yeah, the original Irish is O’Prunta.
Julia: That's sexy.
Eric: That's pretty good.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: No British person could pronounce that at all.
Amanda: No. So we're going with Pruntingsonwaite, what are we going to—what are we gonna go with?
Julia: I wrote Pruntingwaithe down, is that cool?
Eric: I really like Pruntingwaithe.
Julia: Pruntingwaithe.
Amanda: Pruntingwaithe.
Eric: There's a—it's a wa—it's a name that feels like it should have a dash that doesn't.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: You pronounce it Pruntwith.
Julia: Pruntwith, sounds fair.
Eric: Pruntwith is good.
Julia: The working people say Pruntwith, but the fancy ass people say, Pruntingwaithe.
Eric: Pruntingwaithe. Pruntingwaithe is good. Do we—do you two want and rhyming names?
Julia: I want rhyming names.
Brandon: Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, I forgot that.
Julia: Brandon just pick one and I will come up with a rhyme.
Brandon: Okay, because I found one that was wild. Good luck.
Julia: Go for it.
Brandon: So I was looking at this list of names and I saw some good ones. There's like Ainsley, Bancroft. But then I stumbled on one that was just Amberjill.
Julia: How do—how do you spell that?
Brandon: It's just the name Amber, the name Jill in one word.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Is that—is that for a—for a lady, for a daughter?
Brandon: Eric, I don't think it's for a human. I don't know man.
Eric: No, it's for a rock. I should have—I should have known.
Julia: It's Amberjill and Amberjane.
Eric: Yeah, that's what it is. Huh. That's it, yeah.
Brandon: Yup. Yup.
Eric: It doesn't rhyme. But it sure is still there. Fuck. Amberjill and Amberjane is very funny. Which one is—who's Amberjill, and who's Amberjane.
Julia: I think I'm Amberjane.
Brandon: Maybe Amber was our triplet of the womb that we consumed.
Julia: Oh, no.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I talked to her in my seances all the time. Our fifth—our fifth sibling. Amberjill and Amberjane is incredible. I'm trying to think of like I need to go for like a spooky name. Or just like an older sister's name. Who's like, doesn't get the cool names, is like I have to have the one that's named after the grandmother.
Amanda: Alright, Eric. What if yours is a Christian value and mine is just like Angel or like Fun.
Julia: I was just gonna say, Mary, are you just Mary, Eric?
Eric: Yeah, I think I get the wor—I get like a really boring one for sure.
Amanda: Like Mary Theresa or something that's too Catholic. You can get just be Mary. I was thinking like your Chastity and I'm like Joy.
Brandon: Chastity is very good.
Eric: No, I think that like I have to be nam—I really do think I have to be named after an ancestor. So I do think—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —I agree with Julia. I think it's Mary.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: I think I get a boring name.
Amanda: Love it.
Eric: Mary, wher—what is the name again?
Julia: Pruntingwaithe.
Amanda: Pruntingwaithe.
Eric: Mary Pruntingwaithe, holds the largest seance in Darkenshire
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Our parents were like, if we name her Mary, that's like a subtle clue to all the men.
Eric: That she had—that she's—
Julia: She's a virgin.
Eric: That the only sex she has is with God.
Amanda: And I think my—I think I should just be called Angel. I think it's funny that the rest of us have A names, and Mary doesn't.
Julia: Great. Love it. Like it, love it. Gotta have it.
Amanda: Thank you.
Eric: That's incredibly funny. I really like that. Is there another virtue that has starts with an A? Because I really liked what you said about Joy. And also Angel is-- and I only know Angel from Rent. Which is the character that dies from AIDS. So I was trying to think of there was like a Christian virtue that started with an A.
Julia: Accountability.
Amanda: No, but I could be called like, Agape, which is the Greek word for love or like uh—
Eric: No, let's do Angel. I think the A thing is too— the A thing is too funny.
Julia: You guys didn't like Accountability as a name?
Eric: Julia, you're so—you're really funny. I don't know if it fits the setting. God, I really like— I really like that. Yeah, I think I—I take it back. I think Angel—I think Angel is better.
Amanda: Yeah, if they hated me, they would have called me like Avarice or something. But they—they didn't.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Brandon: If it helps, I think of Angel from Buffy fame. So you know, we got two different angels.
Eric: David Boreanaz is back in the podcast, baby.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: We did it. We did it again.
Eric: We did it. Alright, let's come up with a name. Speaking of Brandon's incredibly ridiculous list of names, we need a name for our brother. Our brother is a lout. He sucks. He is always getting into trouble and he's always ruining the masterpieces that we're trying to write. Do you have like a weird nefarious name for him?
Brandon: I mean Bancroft was good.
Julia and Amanda: Bancroft is really good.
Eric: And he's like—his nickname was Bang, which is pretty good.
Julia: Yeah. Bancroft Pruntingwaithe is an insane name.
Amanda: Is it B A I N croft?
Brandon: We can spell it however we want to, but it's spelled B A N croft.
Amanda: Oh, cool. That's fine.
Brandon: It means beanfield.
Eric: Same. Me too. That's what I was named after.
[theme]
Eric: On to the next step, but first the mid-roll.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. This is a weird time of year. This is the time of year, where some people are embracing fully the fact that a new year means new shot and new streak of whatever you're trying to do every day or week, a new page of your spreadsheet and don't get me wrong, I love making new tabs on my spreadsheets for New Years. But something that I was reflecting on about how my 2022 went, is that I learned a lot from Instagram and Tiktok last year. I think it's pretty fabulous that I can learn whether it's something as small as a kitchen hack or something as big as a way that really fundamentally changes how I think about life, and goals, and forgiveness, and all kinds of great stuff from people online. And I think it's pretty special. So, welcome to the mid-roll. I like to make a very cool new cocktail. Thank you first and foremost to our newest patrons. Wen's, Max, Left Handed Bastard, and Charlie. Did you know that you can get a discount? Yes, you listening right now. If you sign up for an annual pledge on our Patreon, it means you pay upfront for a whole year of Join the Party Patreon, that's Discord access. That's Party Planning, that's bonus stuff up the wazoo. It makes a great start to your new year and ours just saying. that is at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. We put a ton of work into planning and making this one chapter be even, while all of us were trying to take some time off around the holidays. And that is because our patrons let us do all of this great stuff. Again, that's patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week and Multitude plenty going on because people might say that podcasting is easy, but no one really describes how exactly you're supposed to get one going, how to grow, and how to avoid all the complicated pitfalls that might stall the project. That's why for the first time Multitude is offering classes this month for podcasters by podcasters. You'll learn from weekly instruction, hands-on homework, and lots of valuable feedback from your instructor and classmates in our online classroom. There are three classes in our first round ready, sustainable podcasting, refining structure, and workflow. So your show works with you by our own Eric Silver, podcast mixing and mastering for non-engineers by Brandon, and how to make a living as a digital creator with me. This is a great gift for aspiring podcasters or a way for you to kick off 2023 by working on a new project. Learn more about the dates, curriculum, and technical details, or just registered today by going to Multitude.productions/classes or checking out the posts we've been making on the Multitude social feeds. We are sponsored this week by Battling Blades. Battling Blades designs and sells high-quality swords, axes, machetes, and knives. Striving to design and create products with the highest quality metals, bone, wood, and leather. They offer customization options of allowing your blade or sheath to be engraved with a personalized message or image, by the way, stepping outside just the range of swords axes, and knives, Battling Blades also sells armor shields, and helmets to really get into character or decorate your plates. We ordered a pizza cutter, a mezzaluna that looks kind of like a handheld weapon, and I'm so excited to receive it. For 20% off your Battling Blades order, go to battlingblades.com and enter code Join The Party at checkout. Once again, for 20% off your Battling Blades order, go to battlingblades.com and enter code Join The Party at checkout. We are also sponsored today by Brilliant. Let's just go on a thought experiment with me, okay? Let's say you're a Victorian child and you aren't allowed to go to school because one you're sickly, and two you're a girl. What do you do, you have a curious mind, you want to learn things about yourself and the universe, where do you go? You go, of course to brilliant.org The best way to learn math, science, and computer science interactively. They have thousands of lessons available with new ones added every month. I've been a user of Brilliant for a long, long time. And one lesson that I was looking at recently that I really enjoy and thematic tour episode today, is scientific thinking. You can bypass your older brother who gets to go to Oxbridge because he's a boy, by teaching him about science. How do you like me now Bandcroft, am I right? To get started for free, visit brilliant.org/jointheparty or click the link in the description. The first 200 of you to go to brilliant.org/jointheparty will get 20% off Brilliants annual premium subscription. And finally, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When we're at our best, we are capable of great things. But sometimes life gets us bogged down. And we may feel overwhelmed or like we're not showing up in the way that we want to, this is definitely something I personally have been struggling with, and something that I am bringing to my therapist. And BetterHelp is a convenient, flexible, affordable, and entirely online way to access therapy. For many years, I couldn't afford to get therapy from people in my area and nobody was taking my insurance. And even here in Brooklyn in New York City, finding a therapist that was taking new patients was so difficult. And so getting that therapy conveniently from my house via BetterHelp was really, really useful. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, betterHELP.com/jointheparty to get 10% off your first month today. And now let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Incredible. Alright, Amanda, will you run down our characters, as we—as they stand right now?
Amanda: Yes. So we have our oldest sibling, Mary Pruntingwaithe. She is the oldest. Her archetype is the spiritualism one, and her gifted child power is to see perfectly in the dark, played by Eric.
Brandon: Super into ectoplasm.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: So into it.
Eric: Hey, Brandon. I’d really like if you didn't make choices for my character, that can be really disrespectful.
Brandon: I’d really like it if you weren't an ectoplasmic pervert, Eric, but here we are.
Eric: Hey, Mary can fuck as much ghost juice as she wants. But I want it to be my choice. It's my creative choice.
Julia: And she'll still remain a virgin because ghosts don't count.
Eric: Yeah, only God and ghosts.
Amanda: How else do you think Mary got pregnant?
Eric: A ghost. [laughs] Hey, kids, I'm your new youth pastor. I love Ghostbusters and I—and if you think about the Immaculate Conception, it's just like crossing the streams.
Amanda: It's not wrong. Our middle children are played by Julia and Brandon. Julia is Amberjane Pruntingwaithe. She is the bad twin, of course of this twin duo. And her archetype is the attractive one. But her secret passion is for flowers.
Julia: Yeaah.
Amanda: And her gifted power is Sherlockian deductive reasoning.
Julia: I can tell a lot about a man by his flowers that he sends.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: That's true.
Brandon: That's really true.
Amanda: Brandon is playing the good twin, Amberjill of course, who's archetype is the quiet one. And the subclass is diseased. That's why you're quiet. And you're gifted child power Amberjill is to walk very, very quietly in fact, silently.
Brandon: Eh heh, eh heh, don't look behind you, Amanda.
Amanda: My headphones are too good for that, Brandon. And finally, I am Angel Pruntingwaithe, I'm the youngest. I am the baby. That is my archetype, and my gifted child power is to talk to crows, sorry. And my gifted child power is to talk to cows.
Julia: Naturally. Make sense.
Amanda: And her brother of course is Bancroft. Do we know if he's older or younger, or middle?
Eric: Uh, no, I don't think it necessarily matters. I think he just kind of like floats. I mean, he's the heir. So—
Julia: Can we roll a die—
Amanda: That's true.
Julia: —to see where he does land in the middle though?
Eric: That's a very good point. I think I was 5. You two were four and Amanda was 2. Let me roll.
Brandon: And are we doing Bancroft or Bandcroft?
Eric: I want to—I really want his nickname to be Bang. So that's just me.
Julia: Yeah, that's fine. I'll take it.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Great.
Eric: I rolled a four. So I think it's-- which is the same as the twins. Again, triplets are nonsense. So I think it's up to you two if he is the ol—if he's older or younger than you two.
Julia: I think he's older than us. So he's the second child in the order.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Hmm. And then the one older than him is the girl, so he's like, he has a complex about it.
Amanda: Yes. Exactly. Mary is like, I sure would be a better heir, but no one asked me.
Eric: I can speak to ghosts. That's tight as hell.
Julia: Amberjane and Amberjill definitely did a lot of like creepy twin stuff to him too—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: —when they were growing up, where they were like, (as Amberjane) hello brother, tilts head to the side in unison.
Brandon: Just stand off in very long hallways without-- in the same new outfit without speaking.
Eric: Alright, let's go on to step four. Oh, but we were just children then. Each player must ask another player about something the two of you did when you were children. And if it brought you two closer or pushed you farther apart. The asking player is responsible for the activity or the event. And the more detail you supply, the better. While the asked player is responsible for the effect. Also, you should try to include—everyone should have a connection to a different sibling. So however we go around, make sure you go around in a circle, as you do this. This is the example I wrote down. Kate, we went on a trip to London just the two of us to visit our aunt who married a man in Parliament.
Julia: Sure. That's true.
Eric: I remember a very fancy dinner where our giggling was so loud, we were thrown out and had to eat outside, quote if we continue to cluck like chickens. And then the asked—the asked can say in response, well, that brought us closer because I knew there was a silly side to you that I had never known. Or you can say, it pushed us farther apart because I wanted to be a fancy lady like Aunt Marguerite. And I knew that you were leading me down the wrong path.
Julia: Damn.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: So those are the examples. We're not using that for our game.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: But that's—that's how you could do it.
Amanda: Gotcha.
Eric: I can roll for who goes, but if someone feels, feels excited to ask someone else a question they can go.
Brandon: I think you roll.
Eric: Let’s go.
Julia: Yeah, roll, roll, roll.
[dice roll]
Eric: Oh, that's a 1. That's our youngest sibling.
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Um, Mary, do you remember the time that um, that mummy and daddy went abroad and brought me back lots of oranges? But it was only for me. And so instead, when I ate all the oranges, I gave you just the peels?
Julia: That's so fucked up, why would you do that?
Eric: Yeah. Can I ask a follow-up question? Why?
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: Why would you do that?
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Well the oranges was for me, but I wanted to give you something too, so I gave you the peels, what for Christmas.
Brandon: Incredible.
Eric: Jesus Christ [laughs]. Alright. I think it brought us closer, because my bar for you is so low, that I wouldn't even have suspected you would have given me anything for any reason. So the fact that you gave me the peels, was you trying to show that you were nice. And it's the most kindness anyone in the family has ever shown me. Outside of, of course, the ghosts of our ancestors that lead me on this—that are going to welcome me once I come off this mortal coil.
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): In truth, I thought you were going to throw them out for me. But instead, you used them as perfumes for year.
Eric: I did do—yes I did do that. Kinda fuck. Jesus. Yeah. Alright. I'll go next because I—I got asked. God. Remind me who's Amberjane, and who's Amberjill?
Julia: I'm Amberjane.
Brandon: Jill. Or are we? Maybe we tricked you?
Julia: Ooohhh.
Eric: I ha—I hate this. Amberjane.
Julia (as Amberjane): Sup?
Eric (as Mary Pruntingwaithe): I remember when you were quite young, and we went out to ride on horses, which we were allowed only to do once per year because of a deal that our father had with the—with the horse hand that we were able to do it once per year. The richer people has all the horses, but we were able to sneak on in the middle of the night. And while you were on the horse, you fell off and hurt your hand very badly. And I can't—and I tried to tend—and I tried to tend to you after you fell off the horse. Do you think that this brought us closer together or pushed as far as apart?
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): I think it pushed us farther away. Because I believe at the time there was a young gentleman who was looking at me at the nearby farm, and he came and I insisted that he tend to me, instead of you.
Eric (as Mary Pruntingwaithe): But it's pointing the wrong way. You're—you're giving all wrong kinds of thumbs up.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): He is a man, Mary, I'm sure he knows how to put her hand back into place.
Eric (as Farmer): Oh no, it's pouring in the wrong direction.
Eric: Jesus Christ. Okay, yeah.
Julia: I think mine has to be for Amberjill, obvi.
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): Eh, eh.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): Amberjill, do you remember the time where I got very into flowers? And so I just started gardening in our—in our garden. And I brought you out there and I really want to show you this beautiful orchid that I was growing, and I brought you out and you immediately sneezed, and all of the petals fell off the orchid. Did that bring us closer together or did that separate us a little bit?
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): I think it brought us closer together, because—
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): Naturally.
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): —it was the first time when you tried to reach out with one of your actual interests, instead of just like showing me to all the men in town. Like—like I was cattle or a very sickly cow.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): Everyone wants to see a sickly cow.
Eric: I forgot that our father did a Taming of the Shrew thing.
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): Well, we were—we were very young and you were trying—you wanted to be the only twin, so you tried to sol—sell me off..
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): I did try that, but you know sometimes you have to be a twin in order to be a twin. Does that make sense?
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): It does. We have our own twin language so that makes sense in our twin language.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): Naturally. Naturally.
Eric: That's true. Have you noticed that their twin language is just English?
Julia: But It's confusing English. I can say things that make no sense and Amberjill understands what I'm saying.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Angel, you feel a tap, tap, tap, on your shoulder.
[Amberjill coughs]
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Oh, hello. What Amberjill?
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): Angel, do you remember the time when you—you and mom—mummy took me to town to that—that weird man named Nikola. To try to solve my consumption—
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe):—And he shocked me multiple times.
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): And it did—and I—I don't know if it worked but I don't think it worked.
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Yeah of course it—it was really fun because I got to see all your hair stand on end, and then mummy screamed and she clung to me, and said my healthy child, my healthy one, my Angel. At least I have one, at least I have you. And that's—that made me feel really nice, so made me think that you're my favorite sister.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): I have to go lay down again now. I haven't eaten for 14 days.
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): That's the newest treatment right? In between the leeches and what, the bloodletting.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): I also did find out that if you gather the blood of a person who's just had their blood let, and you pour it on roses, they grow in nicer.
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): How thrifty.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): Yes, it's not—and it's not like Amberjill is using that blood anymore.
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): No. Angel, Amberjane's kind of tried to steal your blood, she tells me earlier.
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Because my blood is healthier? Because my blood is filled with glitter and angel's blood?
Eric (as Mary Pruntingwaithe): I told mummy I need the blood. I don't get anything in this family.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): Mary, you have to take what is yours in this family, Mary.
Eric (as Mary Pruntingwaithe): I want—I do not want to be alive.
Julia (as Amberjane Pruntingwaithe): You can't just let Bancroft take everything from you, Mary, you must seize it for yourself.
Brandon (as Amberjill Pruntingwaithe): I could give you the consumption.
Eric (as Mary Pruntingwaithe): No!
Amanda (as Angel Pruntingwaithe): Mummy, they’re yelling again! Mummy!
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Did we do it? Did we make characters?
Eric: Yeah I think we did.
Julia: Okay [laughs]
Eric: Fuck. Yeah, I think—I think we're pretty much set. We just have one final step, the final who and where. We need a name for our town. My suggestion is that we put some random nouns into an old English translator. We pick one and smooth out the letters and then you add Shire, Chester, or Ings to it.
Julia: Of course.
Brandon: Incredible.
Eric: At this point, when you're making this up, you may also start thinking about what your character's book will be about. Ultimately, what battle of the Brontes is going to, is that one of you writes a masterpiece, despite all British events that happen and you become like the equivalent of a Brontes sister, and what the hell is going on with your brother, mother, and father.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: So I have the old English translator right here. I just put the word mud in just to start. The word—there's the word clum. There's fenn, gyr, horpytt, slim, apparently is one of them. So we can just throw words in and then like kinda slim-- and kind of figure it out from there. Make it a little more modern English, once we do it. So then we have like a random noun, that you want a—that you want to throw in here.
Brandon: I threw in horse.
Julia: Oh hell yeah. Let's do horse.
Eric: Horse is—horse is good. I like—it's blanca or cryptel. Which is funny.
Brandon: It can't be Blanca because that's in Street Fighter.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Blancashire.
Amanda: I think it’d be fun to try well, on account of how poisoned the well water was in our last session.
Eric: Let’s see—well, I have C, W, Y, L, L, A. Cwylla?
Julia: That's gonna be like Welsh or something.
Eric: Yeah. Munuchad, or Pytt, Pytt. P Y T T is also well, which I think would be good—
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: —which is also a—it's a pit.
Amanda: How about—how about like Pytt-on-the-mound? Or—or Pytt-on-Thames?
Julia: I just like Pyttchester.
Eric: Pyttchester is good.
Amanda: Julia, that's it. It's Pyttchester.
Brandon: Alright.
Eric: P Y T T Chester.
Julia: Beautiful.
Amanda: No, I love Pyttchester with a Y.
Brandon: I think Pyttchester with a Y is very good.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I think we can’t improve on perfection.
Julia: That just sounds like a guy’s name, Pete Chester.
Amanda: Yeah [laughs]
Eric: Hello, I'm Pete Chester. I would love to marry your daughter.
Amanda: Oh, I thought you were gonna say hi, I'm Pete Chester. I'm your new manager and you're laid off.
Eric: Shit.
Brandon: Do you have any sickly women that won't fight back?
Amanda: Yeah, right.
Eric: Is that the manager or is that trying to marry your daughter? I really like—yes, I think—I think I'm gonna take out the T, that second T because that's two only— you only get one T in modern English.
Brandon: We couldn't afford the second T.
Eric: Yeah, we couldn't afford it.
Amanda: That's true. Yeah.
Julia: A very poor town.
Eric: I really liked Pytchester. Pyt also was, it meant pit, but it was also the well—a well, a pool, a grave or a pockmark.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Incredible.
Amanda: We love wells and graves and pockmarks.
Eric: Hell yeah, dude. I think that we also—some of us have passions and stuff. Does anyone have an idea of what's going on with the rest of our family or your books?
Amanda: I think Angel will just be a really straightforward, like morality book primmer about being a virtuous sister, when your sisters are bad, and whenever your sisters complain about their bloodletting or about their chores, or about like, you know, neglect their duties and go out to flowers, this is how you respond in like a loving Christian way. So I think it'll be kind of like a—a morality tale in novel form.
Eric: I love that. I've read so many of those in college, so.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: I'm sure that they're gonna end up in like good English books at NYU that all freshmen need to read.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: I think Amberjane's novel is a murder mystery that is also a romance, and it does revolve around Victorian flower language.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: That’s very good.
Julia: Naturally.
Eric: Can I make a suggestion?
Julia: Hmm?
Eric: The character's name is your name—
Julia: Oh sure.
Eric: —like the main character it's—
Julia: —It's a Mary Sue self insert, what are you talking about?
Eric: It's not even—it's barely. It's a—it's a you're—my—my birth certificate is pasted into this novel and I'm the main character.
Brandon: Is there a lot of like euphemisms for things, for dirty things, but we use for flowers like flower names instead?
Julia: No.
Brandon: No, that's a—
Julia: She's a lady, Brandon.
Brandon: She uses the anatomical words.
Eric: Now, Brandon, what—did you mean like the dirty things, like murder?
Brandon: All of it.
Eric: Like when they meant stabbed, they meant wrote you—they say roses?
Brandon: Yeah, like you got stabbed with a knife and roses poured out of the wound.
Julia: That I like, that I’m into.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Brandon: I think Amberjill is gone now in my head like which am I? [laughs]
Amanda: You're right, you're right.
Brandon: I think Ambejill's is going to be like a collected work of poetry. And like, the overall theme is like—it's like slouching towards the cold side of the bed or something like that. And it's like, you know, there's a poem about, like, making imaginative play with the dust mites. And like, you know, the hallucinogenic effects of not eating for like three weeks at a time. But it's beautiful.
Eric: People discovered it because it inspired the beats directly.
Brandon: Mhm.
Eric: I like that. Yeah, I mean, mine's probably just gonna be straight up like, you all remember in and listen, I apologize for excluding Brandon. But this is a New York State, a stupid New York state exam thing. You remember something called DBQs?
Julia and Amanda: Of course.
Eric: What—what are they—what does it stand for?
Amanda: Document-based questions.
Eric: Did you have—
Brandon: Dave and Busters questions.
Eric: Did you have something like— I'm—I'm sure everyone had something like that, like on a state test for history. They made you look at a primary source and then like, explain what it is and illustrate it and—
Julia: What can it tell us about history?
Eric: Right, exactly. And I think that this is like straight-up spiritualism, how it came from the United States, the UK, because Mary Todd Lincoln, like got on a boat one time. And like, this is a—it's illustrating the differences between spiritualism in the different like countries, and how it—how it changed as it went to different countries. So I think that this is like a main text that people only recovered after—afterwards like we had that's taught in history classes, and really just is my—it's my diary. But really, it's a—it's almost like a how-to of how to summon ghosts.
Julia: I was gonna say a memoir about Mary meeting Mary Todd Lincoln would be wild.
Eric: Oh, man, there's like 10 pages just about Mary. The first time I met Mary Todd Lincoln in my diary.
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: So it's like a diary that later becomes a very helpful primary source of like how people actually practiced this.
Eric: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like maybe it got published after my death and was used contemporaneously. But then afterward it was studied as like the primary text of this is, that we've learned about what it was like in spiritualist Austinian times.
Amanda: Sick.
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: And yeah, what's going on with our brother, our mother, and our father. So why is our brother such a lout, and where—where are our mother and father?
Julia: Papa is definitely doing some imperialistic nonsense in a different country because this is England, and naturally.
Brandon: Of course.
Amanda: Yeah, we call him Papa.
Julia: We haven't seen him in years, for the record.
Amanda and Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Papa has been gone.
Brandon: We’re not even sure he exists, he might be dead.
Julia: He might be dead, we don't know.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: He might have a second family in like India. I don't know.
Brandon: I mean, almost certainly Julia.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Let—we—we cut to our Papa's body and a bunch of crabs are living inside of him.
Julia: Yeaah. What he deserved.
Amanda: As an identical copy of us siblings, but instead it's you know, five kids living in like Hong Kong or India or something. Just being like, yeah I don't know where Papa is, haven't seen him in a long time.
Julia: I don't know, couldn't say.
Brandon: I think mummy is just kind of like, like, there but like sort of absentee, like aloof. Just like isn't interested in being a mother, you know?
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Yeah, she like frets. She'll see us once a day, we eat our meal separately. Very like upper-class, is that the kind of thing you're picturing?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: I was gonna say mama has been in London for the season, for like four years.
Brandon: [laughs] That's also the case.
Amanda: She's helping like debut one of her like nieces, and is like, ah my kids will be fine, they’re in the country.
Eric: I feel like there's something about like, us getting money recently, that maybe is also something that would fit in our Brontes-esque if this was a Jane Austen novel, that's something that like, we only got a bunch of money that was dropped off by like a colonel—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —dropped off like a ton of money with us, after our papa has been whisked away for two years. Like we don't talk about it, but now we're—now we're of means and we weren't before.
Amanda: Yeah, maybe we have a—a minor title as a reward for papa's like administrative, you know, duties. And it's an important position, but it's far, that's why no one else wanted it. And so he you know, climbed the social ranks in that way.
Eric: Yeah, and now he's dead with some crabs inside of his chest.
Julia: That's true.
Brandon: Make—yeah, maybe mama's in London for the season, just because she has like flings all over town.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: With Papa away.
Julia: Oh, mama.
Brandon: Oh mama.
Amanda: Yeah. And maybe our brother like, got foisted too much responsibility too early. He was like four, and dad said, you're the man of the house now. And he's like, what? And maybe all of his—he has no, you know, no men his age to hang out with. So he has like an idea of how British men are supposed to be from literature and just thinks himself much better than like all the hired help from whom he could learn actual lessons, but he won't.
Brandon: I love the idea that, that happened. And then also when our mom left for the season, she put Mary in charge. And there's like, a battle of wills and egos there.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I also really like the idea that he used to have friends, but then we became like, landed gentry. And so he was like, I'm too good for all these farm boys. And now he has no friends.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I like all this and I'm gonna add also, he drank turpentine thinking it was whiskey, and it's messed with his mind.
Julia: Classic.
Brandon: Haven't we all, haven't we all?
Amanda: Haven't we all?
Eric: Yeah, we were all sophomores. Hell yes, I love this. We are—we would get to the gameplay section right after this. So let's do a quick rundown of all of the characters we put together. Before we end off on the first car of the one-shot derby. I like the idea that I don't have a character voice, that Mary just sounds like me.
Julia: Mary just sounds like that.
Eric: I'm Mary, hey, I'm Mary Pruntingwaithe.
Julia: Hey what’s up, I’m Mary, welcome to my blog.
Eric: I'm Mary. I'm Mary Pruntingwaithe I'm the oldest. My archetype is the spiritualism one. My gifted child power is I can see perfectly in the dark. And my book is going to be a treatise on the history of spiritualism, which is pretty much just my diary, that's going to be republished after my death, which is apparently all I want in the world.
Julia: I am playing Amberjane Pruntingwaithe, she's the bad twin middle child, her archetype is the attractive one with a passion for flowers. And her gifted child power is Sherlockian and deductive reasoning, and her book will be a murder mystery romance about Victorian flower language, and it is absolutely just a Mary Sue self insert with her name as the main character's name.
Brandon: I love it.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: People study it later. And gonna be like, oh, I remember that one. That's the one with Amberjane Pruntingwaithe.
Brandon: [laughs] My character's name is Amberjill Pruntingwaithe. I am the middle child and the good twin. My archetype is the quiet one, the one that was hurt by a disease. And my gifted child power is I walk silently behind everyone, when they don't notice I'm there and they never will. Could be there, could be not. And my book will be a poetry book titled Slouching Towards The Cold Side of the Bed. And this is a match— and it has poems about imaginative play with dust mites, hallucinogenic effects of fasting, and more.
Eric: I'm just imagining all the middle schoolers who put lines from her poetry as their away messages on AIM.
Amanda: Yeaaah.
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: It's like something right—It's like to the left of Sylvia Plath.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Like before you get to Sylvia Plath, you gotta go through these poetry—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —this book of poetry.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, you start with Amberjill, you move into Sylvia Plath, then you graduate to Joan Didion in college.
Julia: Wow. Wow.
Eric: It's like a poke-- It's like a Pokemon.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Slouch, there was—Slouching Towards Bethlehem, when was that? That was ‘68. So that was inspired by mine.
Amanda: Yeah, it was a reference.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: And the Bukowski—
Julia: Makes sense.
Brandon: —book was inspired by Didion. And so it's just a long line, you know.
Eric: Coming from Amber—uh hopefully it gets published and Amberjill doesn't die.
Julia: Fingers crossed.
Brandon: And then Didion and Bukowski are wiped off the map as well.
Eric: Oh, no, their parents never met, nooo.
Amanda: Noooo.
Eric: Hey, Bukowski, this is your cousin, Mitch Bukowski. You gotta listen to this.
Brandon: It's just the sound of the UP—USPS sorting machine. Deep cut for Bukowski lovers, whaddup?
Eric: Well, well.
Julia: That's great.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Hey Charles.
Amanda: Somewhere Allen Ginsberg is just shaking his head and like reading the Torah and just like, ugh.
Eric: Oh my god. We did too many references in a row, and we stacked them high.
Julia: We have to take a breath. Take a breath everyone.
Eric: God.
Amanda: Guys, don't worry because I'm Angel Pruntingwaithe, I am the youngest, I'm the baby, that's my archetype not much more to know. I can talk to cows and everyone thinks that's the thing I’ll outgrow, I never do. And my book is just going to be a straightforward morality novel about being a good sister, and what to do when your other sisters are too eccentric, sick or responsible to, to jive, to hang.
Brandon: What does that Highlights mainstay, it's like good—good something and bad something.
Eric: Oh, like a goof—like a Goofus and Gallant thing, yeah.
Brandon: Goofus and Gallant, that's what it is.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: It's just Victorian Goofus, and Gallant.
Amanda: Yeah you can tell Eric and I were English majors--
Julia: Oh my gosh.
Amanda: Because we're like a morality novel. We know what that is.
Eric: Yeah. It's the worst. It's sucks. It's really bad.
Amanda: It's like, this woman kissed and then died of consumption, and then—
Eric: It's just a one-to-one.
Amanda: It is, it is.
Eric: There's no metaphor.
Amanda: No there's none. It's great.
Eric: It's like this woman looked at another man, and then she died. Right then—
Amanda: Yup.
Eric: —in front of everyone.
Julia: That's true.
Brandon: Mary had sex with a ghost and then became president. So, you know.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: I don't remember. I don't remember that part. And finally, there is our brother Bancroft, whose nickname is Bang. He is the second oldest sibling, and he—there's a lot going on with him. I think we— we deci—our family got rich recently. And he is very—he was very rude to all of his friends. And now he's just like a lout, beeping and bopping around. And finally, the town that we are in is Pytchester, where we are going to be doing the rest of the game, plus some extra stuff that I've created in Battle of the Brontes plus, Welcome to the Sensibility Dome.
Brandon: Love it.
Amanda: But Eric, if the people are in love with these characters, how can they make sure that this is the one shot we play in the derby?
Eric: Well, you can keep an eye out for the poll that we're going to have, everybody vote on. But wait, stop, don't look for the poll right now. Don't look for it.
Amanda: But I was about to click, my finger, it's frozen.
Eric: Don't click. Is that you need to listen to the two other submissions in the One Shot Derby? And listen to the after-party, where we are going to publish the poll after we talk about each one of these one-shots. Next week instead of Jane Austen, it's a Coen Brothers novel.
Julia: Whoa.
Brandon: Eric, I'm sorry, I can't understand you if you don't do a transatlantic accent.
Eric: Well, I forgot. In honor—it's 1947 and the Hitler was defeated. The One Shot Derby is finally underway.
Julia: It took us two years to get to this part.
Brandon: News travels slowly in this time.
Amanda: I can't emphasize this enough. The men are moving into Levittown, and the women can't work anymore. The economy has ground to a halt.
Julia: That's just the way the world is now.
Eric: We've looked at the matte black car battle the Brontes, but next time, ooh, it's a deep freeze, as we're looking at a Coen Brothers movie. Set the Arctic with Fiasco.
Julia: Ooohh.
Brandon and Amanda: Oooh.
Brandon: Don't get put on the woodchipper.
Eric: Same bad time, same bad channel. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Brandon: Goodbye.
Julia: Later.
Amanda: Byee.
Eric: Wait, so they shut down the radio station for the day, I don’t know--
Amanda: Mischa, Mischa can you just like end this episode with an unplugging noise. Okay, ready? I'm gonna—I'm gonna try it.
Eric: Or someone took the needle off of a record.
Amanda: Oh yeah, yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Okay, so my—my version, I'm picturing like a—a quarter-inch cable. Alright, like unplugging it from a—from a stereo [unplugging sound] [laughs]
Brandon: Mischa, do not put the actual sound effect in there just leave that one there.
Julia: That's it, that's it, Mischa.
Brandon: And that is the end of the episode, goodbye.
Eric: That's it.
Julia: Goodbye.
Amanda: Thank you.
Transcriptionist: K. Benganio
Editor: KM