On the day before the big SUPR announcement, a vengeful Dr. Morrow has burst into the city riding atop a giant mountain lobster. How are our heroes going to stop their former boss? Who’s going to get in the way? And how big IS this crustacean kaiju?
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: After January pulled the LT3 out of the basement of the OTA, Val, Aggie, and Milo take some time to figure things out and tie up some loose ends. Milo meets up with his dad who confirms Anubis' and lets it slip that he wanted him to find the time shark mirror when poking around the Office of Technology Assessment. Aggie fulfills her favor to the Sommelier by breaking into a server facility in Delaware, and the Sommelier gives her a small piece of information, Gutenberg hates to be hot. And Val is led to a mysterious location by the Knight of Mirrors, who reveals herself to be Priya Moon, aka the woman who escaped the gala with Hitomi, albeit under a fake name. Looming on the horizon seems to be a big play from Gutenberg, who's launching a superhero for hire company, Supr, no e, on Monday. As the LT3 tried to get as many folks as possible out of the city for a long weekend, the day before on Sunday, a massive kaiju mountain lobster bursts forth from Lake Champlain with a furious Dr. Morrow shouting revenge on Laketown city. Let's take down a massive monster and get the party started.
[Join the Party theme music plays]
Eric (as Bill): This is Bill Blazer, here out in Solita. It seems like there's a giant monster mountain lobster destroying the entire city. It's walking forward and I need to get out of the way. Former Mayor and current mad scientist, Dr. Cassandra Morrow seems to be on top and, like, dealing with some revenge stuff. It must have really been eating her from the inside. Oh, I'm gonna get out of the way. I don't like it.
Brandon: Weee! And then he hops to the side.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, you know, when you're getting out of the way of a Kaiju and you say weee?
Brandon: That's what Mr. Blazer sounds like.
Eric (as Bill): Back to you, Chet. In the studio, and let's be real, bad for you to sit there. Just looking at Veronica with those googly eyes and I'll be out there, you know, against all the monsters. That's fine.
Brandon: Guys.
Eric (as Bill): That's okay.
Brandon: Local news is wild.
Julia: Bill Blazer has there are some problems.
Eric (as Bill): Everyone is evacuating the area. They were having a wonderful time at the park and now it's terrible but it seems like there are super powered folk around trying to deal with the situation. It seems like it could be under control soon but again the giant kaiju mountain lobster, very dangerous. I'm getting out of here.
Eric: All of you are seeing this news break happen. Do you want to? You guys want to go take care of that?
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Julia: I think we should probably --
Brandon: Probably,
Julia: -- take care of that.
Eric: Probably. Okay, so here’s-- this is how it's going to work. We're kind of going to be in, like, a loose action state. I don't want to call it an initiative, necessarily. Or maybe it's very much a shortened initiative. All of you are going to do your thing on the same turn. You're gonna act together pretty fluid. Make sure to, you know, take turns leading, take turns doing stuff. It's going to take, like, two or three "rounds" for you to get down to where this mountain lobster kaiju is with Dr. Morrow steering it around.
Amanda: Guys, we really should have thought of this when we did the world building episodes. I um, I know that we all thought that a Champey mountain lobster was a fun idea, but I just want to go ahead and say um, we should have known better.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: I thought you were about to criticize that we chose a very slow method of transportation for our like --
Amanda: Oh no, no, no.
Julia: -- metro system.
Amanda: No. Sky tram is perfect. Sky tram is perfect.
Eric: Sky tram was still wonderful and the future that I still hope will happen and it's energy efficient and.
Brandon: And free.
Eric: It shows up a lot more than the subway and the buses do, wherever you are listening to this. Even in other countries, it's faster and better than that.
Julia: Yeah. Not Japan, though. Japan's got this.
Eric: It's faster than Japan though. They compared it.
Julia: Whoa!
Eric: Yeah. Oh, Julia, you didn't see the three episode event where you three went to Japan with Dr. Morrow for a transportation contest?
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia: Eric, I know you're joking, but can we do that please?
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Yeah, it's fine. I'll tell you in the third episode, Val and Hitomi get married and there's a lot of cherry blossoms.
Julia: Oh my god.
Brandon: That's so cute.
Julia: How can you say that and then not let it exist in the world?
Eric: I did make it exist in the world. It's now canon because it's on this podcast.
Amanda: They go to the island with the deer and Val cries and cries.
Brandon: Aw!
Julia: Val loves deer.
Eric: It's pretty good. There's a Japanese Dr. Morrow counterpart, they're racing their public transport vehicles with each other, I got distracted, I'm giving you instructions.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: While this is happening, you will be interacting with conflicts that will pop up after you all do stuff. Think of this kind of like quick time events in video games, in RPG video games, where in a quicktime event, you will run out of the way just by hitting a button at the certain, the fastest and the most important time, right? Well, this will be resolved with one or two dice rolls or one or two actions and there will be, like, successes, mixed success, failures as we are pulling that kind of idea from our different tabletop RPG brethren.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: Also, kaiju mountain lobster will be moving and destroying things. Every round the kaiju will get an opportunity to attack in the various ways that it does. It will not attack you necessarily unless you're in that area, but it is moving. So, if you're looking at your map, maybe you have the map, like, our poster that you can find at jointhepartypod.com/merch, we're starting in Solita there, on Lake Champlain to come up on one of the lakeside parks there and it is, it is moving in a straight line down and left diagonally.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: I'm keeping it ambiguous because you have not tracked it yet. That is all you, that is all you know is that it is currently walking forward to the left from Solita left.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: I think upon seeing the news. Val's just immediately in the group chat being like.
Julia (as Val): We're at Dr. Morrow's, Aggie. Did you see the news?
Amanda (as Aggie): Just saw it. I'll be right there.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Amanda: And I'll hop at my truck and book it, like, 20% above the speed limit.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Whoa!
Brandon: 20% not 20 miles.
Julia: You know things are serious. No?
Amanda: No, no, no. 20%
Eric: I like that. It's a few panels of Aggie getting her car then insert shot of the speedometer. And it's like 64.
[Julia gasps]
Amanda: Oh yeah, baby.
Julia: Aggie!
Eric: Hell yes.
Brandon: It would be 72.
Eric: Oh, no.
Brandon: [Eric laughs]
Eric: Yeah. 72. In my head for some reason I was like, Oh 64 is 20% of 60, you know math. Hell yes. Yeah. Aggie you pull up in your truck. You two can hop in, and yeah, let's get it going. I feel like, like, there's this battle music is happening the entire time as you getting into the car.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, sorry.
Brandon: Milo takes his, like, ham radio out of his pocket and turns it off.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): Milo, it's not the time.
Eric (as January): Milo, you left Final Fantasy 14 going on your uh, on your bootleg Gameboy.
Brandon: PSP.
Eric (as January): Yeah, on your PS-- on your PSP. Turn it off.
Amanda (as Aggie): January, do you have that suit? That would be really convenient right now.
Eric (as January): Yeah, I was just-- it's charging now. I'm gonna, we're gonna get into it and get there as soon as possible.
Amanda (as Aggie): Alright.
Julia (as Val): Also, literally anything Dez can do is also extremely helpful all the time.
Eric (as Dez): Yeah, definitely.
Eric: And Dez, like, holds his arm out and, like, hits a small button on the inside of his, his inner arm on his metal arm. And like, the hands components retract and out comes a very large blade.
Julia (as Val): Incredibly cool, Dez. We'll see you later.
Brandon (as Milo): Shit. Remember, probably, like, the best thing you could do is remind Dr. Morrow that you're her friends and that will try to get her to talk her down, you know?
Julia (as Val): Milo, it's definitely not Dr. Morrow.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, right. That's probably true. That's probably true.
Eric (as January): I don't know, it seems like, Val, you're underestimating the power of revenge and vengeance for the second time in a very short amount of time.
Julia (as Val): That is extremely possible, but also I want to believe in my heart of hearts that she wouldn't do something this, like, you know, ridiculous.
Eric (as January): I do too, but it's on the table. She's an infinite idea machine and some of those ideas are, you know, deep revenge.
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia (as Val): We'll see, won't we?
Eric (as January): We will 100% see.
Amanda (as Aggie): If there's a shrink ray in the garage or something, now would be a great time to dig it out.
Brandon: Ooh!
Eric: You see, like, Dez thoughtfully is, like, leaning just on the point of the blade and he's like.
Eric (as Dez): I'll think about it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you.
Eric (as Dez): I'll see what's in there. I haven’t cleaned out the garage out in a while.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright, you are speeding your way in Aggie's truck here. I think it's gonna take you three turns to get down to the kaiju. However, you can always do actions throughout to go faster, so this is going to be your first shared action here. What would the three of you like to do? Everything is on the table.
Brandon: I don't know if this is an action, but I do want to quickly text Lucas and say hey, are you at the museum? If you are, like, get everyone out if you haven't already.
Eric: He responds.
Eric (as Lucas): Mr. Brewpot, where do you get my phone number? I’m definitely at work.
Brandon (as Milo): Lucas, not the time!
Eric (as Lucas): Oh, you're talking about the kaiju shellfish coming towards us? Yeah, I'll start evacuating now.
Brandon (as Milo): Thank you.
Eric (as Lucas): Bye.
Brandon (as Milo): It's a text, why are you saying bye?
Eric (as Lucas): Bye.
Eric: Apple texts you bye.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Zach Rose texts you a photo of him at a window. And then just, like, smoke and debris, like, just from destruction, like, from miles and miles away while facing towards Lake Champlain.
Brandon (as Milo): Stay as far away from there as possible.
Eric: Zach Rose takes a photo of him doing a peace sign.
Amanda: I'd also love to activate our emergency services, hotline of infrastructure support in Laketown city and ask disaster management and whoever to start evacuating, you know, getting, like, fire teams ready to respond, stuff like that.
Eric: Cool. I will give you the option here. Would you like to look into this a little bit more as your action?
Amanda: Yeah, it's what I can spend my time doing and for as long as I can drive at the same time.
Eric: Sure. Why don't you make an investigation check for me?
Julia: May I provide the help action for that?
Eric: If you would like to use your action helping Aggie, you may.
Julia: Yes, I would because there's not much I can do while in the car.
Amanda: Okay, so I get advantage.
Brandon: Put on some dope tunes.
Amanda: +4 for a 9. Let's use a luck point. It's worth it. Okay, 13 + 4 for a 17.
Eric: Hell yes. Okay.
Amanda: Do I add my fame?
Eric: Yes. You can add your fame to this.
Amanda: That's a 19.
Eric: That's a 19. Alright. Yeah, so you call, who's your contact for emergency services?
Amanda: It’s Jake!
Eric: Oh, it's Jake, who definitely lives in Laketown city and is married to Julia who also lives in Laketown city.
Julia: That's true.
Eric (as Jake): Laketown city disaster hotline, this is Jake speaking.
Eric: My impression of Jake here is Danny Zuko from Grease. Jealous Sandy? Don't make me laugh.
[fake laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): I assume you see everything happening right now. I just wanted to give you the heads up in case you hadn't, we're gonna head down there and try our best, but there's a very big mountain lobster making its way through the city. And it seems like it's ready to destroy things of great import to Laketown city.
Eric (as Jake): Multitool, I'm really happy that you called. I mean, we're sending out as many people as we can but, you know, they're only letting 25% in.
Amanda (as Aggie): What does that mean?
Eric (as Jake): Like, I got, I got a bunch of guys who are willing to volunteer to take on the various disasters in Laketown city, you know, we're kind of a squad. We're a team. We're a gang, but you know, they're only letting a certain amount in.
Amanda (as Aggie): Who's they?
Eric (as Jake): Oh, you know, the private companies that are keeping those things in.
[Aggie sighs sharply]
Amanda (as Aggie): Where's the checkpoint? We'll go there right away.
Eric (as Jake): Go to the various, it's a booming are. I gave you the areas, boom it's really big. You know what I’m saying?
Brandon: What is happening?
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Whoever they're trying to send away need to find a way in any way, send all your people in and we will get down there and try to make sure they stop doing that. Okay? The people who are making the checkpoint are not to be trusted. I think they're behind it somehow.
Eric (as Jake): Alright. I mean, you know, you know, city government. It's so crazy. You can't figure it out. Are you not down there already?
Amanda (as Aggie): No, we're heading down. We were on the other side of the city.
Eric (as Jake): Alright. Well, there's plenty of other supers down there. I don't know who your friends or not, but there's a lot going on.
Amanda (as Aggie): Unfortunately, we're gonna have to fight some supers as we fight the mountain lobster happening right now.
Eric (as Jake): That sounds interesting. I got workers comp, so I'll be there. If I get hit by a boulder or something, I'm just gonna get $1,000 a month for the rest of my life, I’m great.
Brandon: Sounds pretty-- sounds pretty good.
Eric: It's a pretty good workers comp.
Julia: It should be more than $1,000, but that's besides the point. Can't live on $1,000 a month.
Eric: Julia, I don't have the table for workers. As destroyed by a boulder, as thrown by kaiju in superhero world, I don't have that, that PDF on me.
Amanda: Someone call the actuary.
Julia: Eric, I'm mad at society not at you.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Amanda (as Aggie): Point being, tell them to disregard them and head in there anyway. Emergency services should be there anyway.
Eric (as Jake): Oh my God, that sounds good.
Amanda (as Aggie): Alright. If anyone's a problem, give them my number.
Eric (as Jake): Alright. You give them hell for me, Multitool.
[Jake laughs]
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Jesus.
Eric: Hell yes. That is Val and Aggie's turn. Milo, you still got something if there's something else you would like to do.
Brandon: I'll scan social media and Reddit and all those other places, Tumblr, you know, kaiju.com and see what people are saying about the kaiju, sort of get us more information and relate that in real time to the crew.
Eric: Hell yes. Why don't you do an investigation check. What's your investigation?
Brandon: +1.
Eric: Add your proficiency because this is on the internet, so this is your eBay skills. So, you can add your proficiency to it.
Brandon: Sweet. Okay, so that would be +5.
Eric: Hell yes.
Julia: Nice.
Brandon: 13 + 5 for an 18.
Julia: Good.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright, then you have unlocked a.
[Amanda and Brandon startled screaming]
Amanda: Oh, this is big.
Eric: You are looking on Reddit and on Twitter and a bunch of people have been taking photos of the kaiju, so you're able to kind of put all these different photos together to look at all the different perspectives here to figure out what, how big this thing is. So, the kaiju,I have sent you a map of the kaiju mountain lobster. It is 120 feet long. It is 30 feet tall. Its legs, kind of like on its underbelly, are 15 feet tall, as well. It seems like the electric beams, those are, those laser beams that are being shot out from its appendages, those are coming out kind of from its little feelers there on its face, and it got those big old claws. It also has those large 90 style speakers, like, you know the ones that you would attach to your computer when you have a computer room. Those speakers are little things that are being, that are kind of affixed on the crown of the mountain lobster itself.
Brandon: Okay. Let me relay all that to my colleagues here and say.
Brandon (as Milo): It's 120 feet long. We should just give up now. Let's go home.
[Amanda chuckles]
Julia (as Val): Milo, what? Milo, calm the fuck down.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Brandon: Apparently workers comp gives you 65 to 75% of your income depending on how much you paid into it so...
Julia: Hey, fuck yeah.
Eric: Wonderful. Alright, so that was your action there. You took the exit, you're speeding down Highway One. Let's see what happens now.
[Eric hums]
[Brandon hums]
Brandon: We're all gonna die.
Julia: What's gonna fuck us on the way? Could be an airplane. Could be a superpowered person.
Brandon: Could be a pothole.
Eric: You're driving over to the on ramp to highway one and there is a backup of cars in front of you.
[Julia sighs]
Amanda: I'm going to just drive on the shoulder and get to the front.
Eric: Hell yes. As you drive up on the shoulder and you get closer, you see that there are about 20-armed people standing on the on ramp. They're wearing, like, all black bulletproof vests that says Supr in white writing on them.
Brandon: Jesus Christ.
Eric: You have, like, paramilitary style, you know like helmets and standing at the front of them is, Aggie, your former good friend, Brian Roper, representative of historic Laketon. He says.
Eric (as Brian Roper): No one is going to come on to the highway. There is a very dangerous, very monster, in a super sized monster. If only there was a word for that, I don't know what it is, but everyone, you cannot come this way. Just turn back, go back to your homes.
Amanda: Are they physically blocking the path of my car? Or can I just drive past them?
Eric: If you would like to drive immediately to try to go past, you can do that with a roll, but you know, you can't just, like, easily sneak by and it's fine.
Amanda: No, no. I'm happy to attract attention and to do it, but I want to hear what you guys think first.
Julia: I want to just lean out the car window and yell at Brian Roper to get the fuck out of the way and roll intimidation roll please.
Brandon: Or I could do Charm Person both of them but let's try your thing first because it's easier.
Amanda: Yeah, let's try your thing first, cuz it's fun.
Brandon: I'm gonna hand over the Hank-Bans to Aggie for efficiency sake and uh, so we can just drive through these fuckers if we need to.
Eric: I also want to say to clarify because you have kept the glasses separate. The unknown glasses are, like, a piece of gear. They are affixed, very much so, to Vulcani's face because they're wrapped around and they have croakies on them. The Hank-Bans are very much just sunglasses with cool lenses. They are a piece of clothing. They are an accessory, so I wanted to say.
Julia: Eric is gonna make us roll to, like, see if they break so just be careful with the glasses.
Eric: All I'm saying, all, that is all I'm saying. All I want to say is that they are an accessory. They are not like a piece of gear.
Brandon: Cool. I think, uh, yeah. Do you want to look first Amanda and then uh, Julia, if we need to intimidate I can give you enhanced ability, which will give you advantage on charisma checks?
Julia: Great.
Amanda: Yeah, I'll put them on. Who's real?
Eric: Brian says.
Eric (as Brian Roper): Aggie, just because you're superpowered doesn't mean you don't need to follow the rules. Come on. We're friends.
Amanda (as Aggie): Fuck you, Brian. I fixed your mom's toilet.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Brian Roper): That's pretty rude. Just because you exposed all of your personal information to everyone doesn't mean you need to read my mom and her toilet.
Julia (as Val): It's more, it's more of a read of you and your irresponsibility as one of her children.
Amanda (as Aggie): What they said,
Eric: As you put the sunglasses on, and you look over at Brian Roper, and the Supr Taskforce, you see that 10 of the people in bulletproof vests are pixelated.
Amanda: Are they clumped together? Or are they intermixed with the flesh and blood people?
Eric: They're intermixed with the flesh and blood people. Brian Roper, real person.
Amanda: Fuck. Okay, can I get my car around it? Or do I have to make them move?
Eric: You can try to make a roll to make it happen.
Amanda: Yeah, if we can drive past them on the shoulder or something, I have a truck and I'm happy to do it.
Eric: Hell yes. You can use your dexterity and then add your proficiency because it's your car.
Julia: Let me take my action to just clear them out of the way as best I can first. Alright.
Amanda: I'm happy with that.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: Who wants advantage? The car or Val?
Julia: If I'm doing an intimidation roll, plus having fame, I am going to be rolling pretty high, so I don't know.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: We'll take it on the car.
Eric: I will say these people don't care about who you are. Do not add your fame.
Julia: But the people in the cars that are watching us might.
Eric: Correct, they're like, oh fuck yeah, it's Vulcani. I love them, but like, that's not who the roll is about.
Julia: Okay, fine. I'll take my +7 instead of +9.
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric: It's not about whether or not it's going to change anything or not. Sometimes you just gotta keep the rules.
Julia: Alright, so I think Vulcani is going to lean out the window of the car door and be like.
Julia (as Val): If you're not pixels you better move. We got superhero business, and that's more important right now.
Eric: Incredible.
[dice clatters]
[Julia chuckles]
Brandon: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Julia: 26,
Brandon: Okay, good.
Eric: A 26? Oh, my God, I rolled a 17 but I only get, like, a +2 for people staying wanting to stay in a job.
Amanda: That's fair.
Eric: At a certain point you're like, this is not my problem.
Amanda: It's a paramilitary defense contractor only gets you so much.
Eric: Like, yeah. Yeah, I don’t wanna go with this. So yeah, the 10 flesh and blood people are like, Yeah, I'm getting out of the way. And they clear out. Brian Roper and the 10 pixelated folk are still standing there.
Julia: Brian Roper is a little wimp. Why is he not intimidated by me?
Eric (as Brian Roper): Okay, so... Is this real? This is what's going to happen? We, I asked nicely. The only thing I could say is please don't do this.
Amanda (as Aggie): Brian. We are– we are the Laketown city 3. We are here to defend the city. Why are you getting in our way, exactly?
Eric: Brian looks at you and then you remember that--
Brandon: He's a cop?
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Yeah, he's a cop. And you remember that Brian Roper was at the underwater People's River base, so Brian Roper says.
Eric (as Brian Roper): I just think it's the right thing to do. It's to follow procedures.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Aggie): You are lying, Brian.
Eric (as Brian Roper): No. Why would you say that to an elected official? The people elected me.
Amanda (as Aggie): Who elected you jack shit?
Eric (as Brian Roper): Like, the contingency of Lake, of Laketown, Laketon.
Brandon (as Milo): Aggie, hit the gas. Let's go.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Let's go. I'm just gonna drive. I'll drive past him and through whatever pixelated people stand in my way.
Eric: Wonderful.
Brandon: Yeah. And I'm gonna cast Enhance Ability on Aggie/ the car for whatever check. Whether it's dexterity or whatever.
Eric: Do dexterity and then add your proficiency because it's your car.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: 4 + 8 is a 12.
Brandon: That's your advantage?
Julia: You roll with advantage.
Amanda: Oh, thank God. 5 + 8 is a 13.
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: There’s some stank on me.
Julia: Change those dice.
Amanda: These were the new dice. Gonna change them again.
Eric: This is success at a cost here. Yeah, what does it look like? You're just going to drive through?
Amanda: I am going to stick my hand out my window, give Brian the middle finger and drive through whatever pixel person is in front of my truck and onto the highway.
Eric: Cool. You gun it, you try to drive through. Brian doesn't get out of the way. You clip Brian. He's like.
Eric (as Brian Roper): Aggie, don't do it. Aggie, don't.
[crashing noise]
Eric: And your headlight goes out. You also, as you run through all of the pixelated people, like, as they make contact with the car, they kind of just, like, burst into pixels, but the helmet and the bulletproof vest and their shoes are real. So, like they burst as soon as you hit them. But then, like, all of their clothing gets jammed up in the wheels and in the axles.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: So, I'm going to say that you can't. It's going to take three turns for you to get to the kaiju. This is what-- you've already done one, unless you figure out a way to actually, like, go faster very much so, then there's, like, stuff jammed up in there and it's gonna be difficult for you to take care of.
Amanda: Alright.
Brandon: I just think it's hilarious to make pixel people and then give them real clothes.
Amanda: It is very funny and inefficient. And I love it.
Eric: I mean, isn't that very? Isn't that such, like, the, like, making someone wear an official uniform instead of like, yeah, wear a black shirt.
Amanda: It's very toy soldier to be like I can create anything I want from scratch. I'm going to create man and arm him with real guns.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: Mechanics question? Am I tracking spell slots and/or spell surge?
Eric: Correct. Yes.
Brandon: Okay. I should roll my spirit surge then.
Eric: Nice.
Brandon: Hey, team.
Julia: Oh, come on. Brandon.
Amanda: You hit it?
Brandon: I hit it.
Amanda: Oh, no.
[Eric chuckles]
Eric: Yeah, roll 1D10 for me my man.
Brandon: I rolled a 5.
Eric: A 5?
[Eric chuckles]
Julia: Oh, no.
Eric: Oh, bud
Eric (as Tuna): That went pretty bad, didn't it?
Eric: And you see that, like, Tuna and now, like, a cat sized version of Anubis are sitting on respective --
Brandon: Adorable.
Eric: -- shoulders, like the two old men in the Muppets, from the Muppets.
Julia: Oh no.
Eric: And they're like.
Eric (as Tuna): You should probably try again. Yeah?
Eric: And they both, like, wave their paws in the air. And you are, you get that spell slot back.
Brandon: Oh, awesome!
Amanda: Whoa.
Julia: Yay!
Brandon: Thanks, friends.
Eric: Sorry, you rolled get all of your spell slots back. I'm sorry. You got so early on.
Julia: Aw. Would have been useful later but...
Amanda: Classic.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Maybe just roll a five again later. It's fine.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Wild Magic surge gives and wild magic search takes away.
Eric: It does. Alright. Hell yes, so now the, we kind of like turn the page and now we are at a--. We're back to kaiju mountain lobster. Maybe it's Kaiju Monty. Who knows? You haven't figured that out yet. And it's just more like.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): If I can't be the mayor, no one can be the mayor. I'm going to flatten this city so that it's like Portland, Maine. You know what the second largest city in the New York State is going to be when I'm done with it? Buffalo.
Julia: Whoa!
Eric: Now I'm gonna make some attacks.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: Fighting words, man.
Eric: Cool. The kaiju mountain lobster stomps forward. It's now past the Lakeside Park and now fully into Solita. You see it like we're just one large chichtonous leg jams through a speakeasy cocktail bar.
Julia: No.
Eric: And it seems like this is on a collision course to The Palate.
Julia: No!
Eric: Like, one claw comes down.
[crashing noises]
Eric: Another claw comes down.
[crashing noise]
Eric: People running in all directions, just debris spraying. The extra creepy eyes on the feelers are looking around and shooting lasers. Just the, things explode, while things are exploding. Alright, you are now driving down Highway One. And maybe there, Aggie there's something a little bit wrong with the axle, so it goes like ka-thump every 10 seconds.
Brandon: I have a sort of roundabout way of going faster, Eric. I was gonna see what you think. I can do the spell called Find Path which finds the shortest most direct physical route to a specific fixed location.
Eric: Do it.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: That's an extremely high level spell, right?
Brandon: Yes, but how many slots do I have? I have two, so I still have one more after that.
Eric: Is that a sixth level spell?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, cuz remember, you have two six level spell slots after I gave you, gave you an extra one, so you could do it. Yeah, that would be, that would be great.
Brandon: Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
Eric: Do it.
Julia: Milo casts a spell called Waze.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Julia: Thanks, Milo. Val, Val shows you their phone and is just like I could have just done this on the phone.
Eric: Yeah, we can make this work. Why don't I tell you the best place for you to intersect with the kaiju?
[Brndon laughs]
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: A 1?
Amanda: A 1?
Julia: What? Again? Brandon.
Amanda: Guys, am I dreaming? Is this a nightmare?
Julia: I think I'm having a nightmare.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: We're all gonna die.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: I rolled a 1.
Julia: Yeah, I got that bud.
Eric: We're gonna resolve this at the end of everyone going.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: So, we're gonna keep this in your pocket. With Find the Path, I'm going to tell you the direct, where the best place to intersect with the kaiju will be.
Amanda: And you just go “I have a physics degree.”
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. The best place to intersect on this particular path is that it seems like unless you can't figure out a way to go faster, the best place to figure out where to intersect is when the kaiju crosses all Solita and then hits highway one.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: So, if you just keep going straight, you will probably make it before it barrels into the highway itself.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: So, you just keep going straight. And now because you used that spell that's locked in.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Oh, I love that your spell told us to go straight.
Brandon: Yeah, I mean, does it take a turn off of the distance to get there since we don't have to go off the highway and then go down to Solita like we were originally planning to?
Eric: Correct. Yeah, so it'd be like at the beginning of turn three, you know what I'm saying?
Brandon: Yeah, so I'll try to explain that to Aggie and then we'll see if that works. According to my spell surge Eric. My spirit surge.
Eric: Yeah.
[Eric hums]
Amanda: Oh, boy.
Julia: I'm gonna prepare an action to deal with whatever the fuck the spirit surge ends up happening.
Eric: That's fine. Yeah, that, you can do that.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, and I'm going to use two key points to stretch out my left arm and try to grab whatever I can reach out of the wheel well.
Brandon: Oh, smart.
Julia: Smart move.
Eric: Hell yes. That's wonderful. Yeah, why don't you do a dex check for me?
Amanda: I got 3. 3 + 4.
Eric: 3+
Amanda: 7.
Eric: 7.
Julia: Um, wha--
Brandon: Amanda, are you the Brandon of this podcast?
Julia: What's happening? Are you guys okay?
Eric: Here's the thing, it's pretty hard to drive and, and try to examine the, the axle while it's moving.
Julia: Alright, fuck that. I'm gonna give Aggie a help action on this one. I'm going to grab the wheel as Aggie tries to pull shit out.
Amanda: I'll also leave my other arm out so I have more stability.
[Eric chuckles]
Amanda: Okay, 7 + 4 for an 11.
Eric: Okay, with an 11, yeah, I don't, you've got you pull, like, a boots out of the axle for enough that this won't slow you down.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Between Waze, Find the Path, and getting the stuff out of the axle. You are able to meet the kaiju before it crosses into Highway One.
[midroll sfx pings]
Eric: Hey, it's Amanda. I love plants. When you understand the thing about plants is a special and Spring is coming is that they're like little pets or cats and dogs but instead of having furry, they're just little leaves and they are green and I can tend to them and I just pour little water on them and they're perfect. And Spring is, like, the birthday of plants. When you think about it, we are just celebrating Happy Birthday to plants as they are getting born into the world. So, happy birthday to plants. Welcome to the midroll. Just kidding, this is Eric, but you thought it was Amanda for a second didn't you? First and foremost, welcome to our newest patrons over at patreon.com/jointhepartypod, Katelyn, Samantha, Diogo, Brett, Jamie, Rachel. You're in the fold, you're here in the family, come to the discord, the water's fine. We are so close to 600 patrons, I can taste it. It tastes delicious, like honey, or like chocolate, or whatever you think is delicious. It is just so close. Remember, when we hit 600 patrons, we will commission a giant comic book cover of all the PCs and NPCs of Campaign II. And we are finishing up Campaign II very, very quickly, so like we already know all the characters is going to be on it. It's going to be wonderful. Remember, you're going to get a free digital download, all patrons are going to get that for free. And then it's going to be revealed as a physical poster. Maybe you guys will be able to purchase it earlier than everyone else. Who knows? We have to hit 600 patrons first before we can start planning for that, so y'all join up on the Patreon. So much bonus content and you get this wonderful poster that is going to get moved on, that is patreon.com/jointhepartypod to become a patron or tell someone you know if you're already a patron tell them how great it is that you are enjoying the discord and party planning and the live shows and all that stuff. So, let them know. I think you should check out the other shows that are part of the Multitude collective. I think you'd really like Exolore. Have you ever wondered what life would be like on a planet different from our own? Or how writers create your favorite fictional worlds? Well, wonder no longer because we have the podcast for you. That is Exolore. Every other week, astrophysicist/folklorist Dr. Moiya McTier, truly the coolest introduction on the face of the earth, explores fictional worlds by building them with a panel of expert guests, interviewing professional world builders or reviewing the merits of worlds that have already been built. You'll learn, you'll laugh, and you'll gain an appreciation for how special our planet really is. And I think every single person on Join the Party has been on an episode of Exolore, so if you need a place to start, just look up Eric Silver, or Amanda McLoughlin, or Brandon Grugle, or Julia Schifini. You know our names and then you can listen to those and be like, Wow, I really love this podcast. It's incredible. I think we need to listen to it. That is Exolore, subscribe today by searching Exolore in your podcast app, or go to exolorepod.com. We are sponsored today by Inked Gaming. Everyone has a go-to shop where they get their mouse pads, their play mats, their dice bags, and other essential gaming goods. Inked Gaming can be that for you. Inked Gaming is a great company to keep in mind for yours, and they joined the party so to speak, get it? Because they're, this week, they're our sponsor. You get it. With such a large selection of premium gear listed on their site, Inked Gaming really is the one-stop shop built by gamers for gamers, but like in a real way, not like in a bad way when people say gamers like you as you love games. You'll even find custom products in their collection, which can be personalized with unique designs that come straight from your imagination. Having team inked as a sponsor is beneficial to us and to listeners, especially because they're offering exclusive perks in the form of a 10% off discount. All you have to do is go to inkedgaming.com/jointheparty and use promo code join the party at checkout, the discount will be automatically applied to your order. So remember, it's gaming.com/join the party and use promo code JoinTheParty for 10% off automatically. We're also sponsored this week by Skillshare. If you're thinking to yourself, Wow, I wish I can make more fan art of Join the Party characters, but I'm not very good at drawing and I need to level that up. I know I have. I have great news for you, you should check out Skillshare. Skillshare has so many classes on web comics, illustration, sketching and character creation. Whether you're diving deep into a hobby, learning professional skills, or getting better at planning your tabletop RPG campaign, you gotta check it out. Explore your creativity at skillshare.com/jointheparty where our listeners get a free-trial of their premium membership, skillshare.com/jointheparty, raise your intelligence score up. And finally, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. We talked a lot about how therapy is good and how you should do it because it's nice to be able to talk to someone about the things that are going on in your life instead of having someone involved like that and how important it is for you to take care of your relationship with yourself. And then I usually will make a joke about this woman who lives in the woods that does bone magic because maybe I'm disguising the fact that I don't really want to talk about my own experiences with therapy and how it hasn't always been that easy. And finding a therapist has been very hard, but then when you find someone who you really like, you kind of depend on that relationship. And it really helps me, I don't know, figure out relationships that I've had with the various people in my life and kind of working through anxiety or bad self talk that I've done, but that's probably not what's happening. It's, the bone witch is real, but that does not discount the fact that BetterHelp Online Therapy is here to be available to you. BetterHelp Online Therapy offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. It's also super easy to switch therapists if you two aren't really jiving. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used BetterHelp Online Therapy and you could be 2,000,001. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Join the Party listeners can get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/jointheparty. And now, back to the show.
[midroll sfx pings]
Brandon: What do you think Waze is saying right now like, instead of traffic ahead it's like giant kaiju ahead.
Amanda: Unexpected hazards!
Julia: Hazards and everyone is like fucking mountain lobster!
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Incredible. Brandon, will you give me that D10 roll?
Brandon: Yes.
[dice rolls]
Brandon: Hey, I got another five.
Eric: Wonderful, alright.
Julia: Get that six level spell back.
Brandon: Give me those slots back.
Eric: It's not.
Julia: I know. I know it switches out after it's used.
Eric: Do another one for me, my man.
Julia: Oh no.
Brandon: 8.
Eric: 8.
[Eric laughs]
Julia: No. No laugh. No laugh at friends.
Brandon: No laugh at friends.
Eric: So, here's what I do, usually I have enough time to switch things out, but I just decided to choose the actual Wild Magic table for this one. With a 58, for the next minute any flammable object you touch that isn't being worn or carried by another creature burst into flame, so you have--
Julia: Val goes.
Julia (as Val): Mood.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Eric: Yeah, so I think that Tuna is just like.
Eric (as Tuna): No, I'm driving now. I don't want. I don't like this. This isn't good.
Eric: And Tuna just, like, just grabs your arm. And then just, like, swatting, swatting at things and be like.
Eric (as Tuna): No, I'm your hand now. You don't get to use your hand. You're not good at it.
Eric: Aggie, you keep your car pretty clean, right?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, I think Tuna touches, like, an ice scraper that's in the back and you just gotta, like, burst into ghostly flame and be like.
Eric (as Tuna): See, I'm doing it better than you can.
Amanda (as Aggie): Val there's an extinguisher on the door. Just, just use that.
Julia: Val just, like, kind of hits it with their hand and it goes out.
Eric: So, pur-- like ghostly purple flame, and you're still putting it out like it's a grease fire, so I think that for the next minute anything you touch turns uh, burst into flame.
Julia (as Val): Milo just grab a blanket and smother anything you touched.
Brandon (as Milo): Look, ya'll, it could be an advantage. What happens in the next minute? We'll find out.
Julia (as Val): We could just start throwing flaming objects at the next hazard.
Brandon (as Milo): Maybe I touch the kaiju and it burst into flames. Get me there within the minute, Aggie.
[Julia chuckles]
Amanda (as Aggie): You think we can train Tuna to detail my new truck when I replace it after all this?
[Eric and Brandon laugh]
Eric: Hell yes. It is now kind of everyone else's turn. And let me figure that out.
Amanda (as Aggie): We should have kidnapped Brian Roper. What was I thinking?
Julia (as Val): He didn't want him in the car.
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
Eric: Hitting him with a car was pretty cool. I like that. He just got bounced off. Yeah, he's gonna have to fix your head, your, your left headlight.
Brandon: He can’t even fix a toilet. How is he gonna fix a headlight?
Julia: His insurance will pay for it.
Amanda: I'll send him the bill.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, exactly the government, the government insurance will pay for it.
Brandon: The workers comp.
Eric: Which I heard, did you know is 65 to 75% of your salary depending on how much you pay into it?
Brandon: Call back!
Amanda: I learned that.
Eric: As you pull up, you see that they're over on the left shoulder, there was a pretty large car crash. It seemed that there was, like, four cars in various states of disarray. One kind of slammed into the left barrier. Another one has kind of like ran off the road into an embankment. Another one has stopped, like, on the shoulder, but it's smoking. The driver is, like, trying to put it out and there's another car that is fully upside down.
Julia: Oh. Oh, Val's gonna hop out of the car and go pull these people away from the wrecks.
Amanda (as Aggie): Meet us up ahead?
Julia (as Val): You got it.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright. Yeah, Val, you can hop it, you can hop out of the car. Where do you go to?
Julia: Can I do, like, some sort of Perception check or something to see what is the, like, biggest issue right now? Like, who's in the most danger currently?
Eric: Sure thing.
Julia: Cool. I don't have any pluses to that. Let's see how it goes. 12.
[siren blaring]
Eric: 12. I think it's pretty obvious that the car that is upside down is the one that has the most issues. And it seems like the other two cars, the ones that are, like, off to the side and crashed already are fine. And the per, and the person's just like.
Eric (as Stranger): Oh, I don't want my car to go, to blow up. This is my wife's car. I don't want this.
Eric: As you're trying to put out the car. Put out the flames is on there.
Brandon: That is my new favorite NPC.
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric: And it seems like there might be someone that's on that, is on the flipped car. It's like one of the really big Ford F150s. It's like a pretty large truck. And it seems to be, like, really crunched and there might be someone inside.
Julia: Okay, Val points at the guy who's fanning the flames being like.
Julia (as Val): Please step back from that. Insurance will cover it if it does explode.
Eric (as Stranger): No, this is my wife's favorite car.
Julia (as Val): I understand, sir, but your life is probably more important to your wife than her car is.
Eric (as Stranger): It's debatable. Oh, geez.
Julia (as Val): You need to reassess your marriage. Okay, um.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: And then the other two people are fine in the other cars?
Eric: Yeah, those cars, they seem to be, like, abandoned. Like, the people aren't there.
Julia: Okay, great.
Amanda: Smart.
Julia: I'm gonna try to pick up this truck and flip it back over so that I can remove the person from it safely.
Eric: Hell yes. Straight up strength check.
Julia: Great.
Eric: You can add fame with this.
Brandon: The one thing superheroes can't do is fix marriages.
Amanda: Please don't attempt this stunt at home. When you see an auto wreck please dial emergency services and do not attempt to move people whose wrecks might not have been stable.
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia: That is 23. 12 + 11.
Brandon: Shit.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: 23.
Eric: Yeah. How do you do it? Well, how do you do it? What are you doing?
Julia: I think Val, kind of like, you know, squats down, you got to lift with your knees, not your back. And then, like, gently lifts up one side, the driver's side to make sure that the person in there is, like, in there okay. As far as okay as they can be. And then, like, very gently, kind of just like, revolves it so that they very slowly move the person into a safe position and then you just pull the door off.
Eric: Just fully, yeah, pull the door off.
Julia: Well, I imagine it's probably crushed, so it's not gonna just open nicely.
Eric: Oh, no, it just, it looks tight as fuck is what you're doing.
Amanda: You should bring it with you as a shield.
Eric: Yeah, you pull the door off of the, this crunched Ford F150. And you recogn-- and you see the person inside is an older man, slicked back hair, blue suit, and you get a better look at him. And you know, this face. This is Councilman Burdock.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: He's like. And he's like.
Amanda (as Aggie): What do you need a truck for? You live in Weston.
Brandon: Karma, baby.
Eric (as Cncl. Burdock): I'm hurt. I'm hurt.
Julia (as Val): Okay. I'm sorry, sir. I'm going to remove you from this vehicle and emergency response is in the area. We will try to find a way to make sure that you get help.
Eric: He's kind of like really crunched up in the driver's seat. And then he, like, kind of looks out. He's like.
Eric (as Cncl. Burdock): No, I'm fine. You don't have to do anything. I was going to take care of it myself.
Julia (as Val): Well, it's a little late for that, sir because I did flip your vehicle back over so that you're not physically harmed. Also, that car might explode a little bit, so I'd recommend removing yourself from the area.
Eric (as Cncl. Burdock): Hmm. I will... think about it.
Julia (as Val): Great, there's a giant kaiju, so you have a nice day. I'm gonna go solve that problem. And Val just takes off running.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Eric: Wonderful. Yeah, I think you just leave Councilman Burdock there in his truck. And he, he thinks for a second and says.
Eric (as Cncl. Burdock): I sure hope I don't have a change of heart because of this.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Julia (as Val): Val goes, I hope you do. Running away.
Brandon: We found the second thing that being a superhero can't fix, prejudice.
Amanda: Prejudice? Prejudice, yeah.
Eric: Discrimination. Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Hell yes. Okay, so Val, you are, you're a little behind here, but I think that you did well enough and you took care of this pretty quickly. You're able to catch up.
Amanda: They can dash right on their next turn.
Julia: Yeah I have, and I have my charger feet too so if anything gets in the way I can just fucking get it out of the way.
Eric: Yeah, you did that fast enough and you took care of it quickly. You get, you do your Sonic the Hedgehog. You roll into a ball, you power, you power dash. It is now the kaiju's turn.
Julia: So spiky.
Amanda: So spiky.
Brandon: Chili dog go fast. That's what Sonic says, right?
Julia: Yes, chili dog go fast.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I spent my whole career building up the public school system of this city, and you just wanted to throw me out like some sort of bad pizza that you would serve in the cafetorium.
[crashing noises]
Eric: One claw down.
[crashing noise]
Eric: Another claw down.
[screaming]
[electric bolt beams]
Eric: Just an electric bolt straight through the thumb hole of the pallet on top of the Pallet art school. And then the two claws just lifted up and slam it down onto the high school. There is nothing left and you see in the rubble are various paintings of all types of mediums. Sculptures.
Amanda: No!
Brandon: There's no one in there right?
Eric: Oh, there's no one in. No, it's Sunday. No one's in there. Sculptures destroyed into rubble. Entire kilns, its contents strewn and he destroyed mess of the former Arts High School.
Brandon: It's okay, art is fake.
Julia: Okay guys, when we, when we seize Gutenberg's assets, he'll be able to rebuild the Gaga.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Brandon: You really know that someone's an evil scientist when they say cafetorium.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Yeah, it's a shared cafeteria and auditorium. I think also at this point, there are a lot of people who are assembled or who are kind of just, like, in the area following the kaiju. I think that at this point, it's like meanwhile and that's why as we follow the, the kaiju destroying the Gaga. There are a lot of kind of a few folks that are running around with black hats that say Supr on them. And they, they have kind of, like, various powers. Some of them can fly, some of them can, like, shoot fire, some of them are, like, super strong, one of them kind of looks like a bull. Kind of like they're more keeping a perimeter of things just trying to keep, they save, like, a person who fell down in front of the kaiju. It's like.
Eric (as Stranger): Oh no, my worst fear is getting destroyed by a giant shrimp.
Eric: And he's like.
Eric (as Supr powered folk): It's not a shrimp. It's a mountain lobster. You should know your city.
Eric: And like the bull, like, charges and picks them up and runs away, so a lot of like keeping area but there are also some people who you if Julia, Brandon, and Amanda were reading the comic book, you would see that there, sometimes someone gets pulled out of the way by hand reaching out of the shadows, pulling them in and then pulling them to a safe distance. Maybe someone is about to be, like, clobbered by a falling building. And you see some hands followed by some dragon wings grabbing them out of the way. Like, maybe they're, like, you know, 10-year-old triplets that'll get scooped up in arms and wings. And someone's car has pulled off and is in, in the, in the area of the kaiju. And there's, like, five grappling hooks come out of nowhere and get pulled back that are being shot from the hands of the Sommelier with Hardbody, like, running, running in and like just taking, like, a building falling on her, like, no problem. And some other people who you, who you don't recognize.
Brandon: Perfect. I can kill the kaiju and the Sommelier in one go.
Amanda (as Aggie): Before you ask, I didn't call her.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: It fully looks like all of the powered folk in the city are out. Both people who you recognize, people who you don't and maybe some people who are working for Supr. Who knows if they're pixelated or not, but it seems like every single powered person is kind of all hands on deck here and are following the kaiju. I think you have one more shot here. This is going to be round three. The kaiju has fully destroyed all of Solita here and is now as, as Milo you figured out from your magic, is crossing the city and is going to collide with Highway One. I think that Aggie you can pull the car over and Val with Sonic the Hedgehog behind and picking up rings that people have dropped behind --
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric: -- that you've caught up and you can kind of like pull over on the side of the highway and you see that the kaiju --
[sirens blaring]
Eric: -- is making steps towards you.
[thunderous crashing]
Eric: Beams from the eye stocks, so you, you are within range of you trying to deal with the kaiju but it does not come to the highway yet. It is going to keep going and if it keeps going it's just gonna walk right through.
Julia: Great.
Brandon: So, I just want to throw this out there so we can plan around it. So, I have something called Bones of the Earth which I can cause six pillars of stone to burst from the ground and pin it up against the highway as it goes underneath which will give it a lot of damage and restrain it so that's an option.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: No, that's great.
Julia: I think the first thing that I want to know and Val wants to know is Val looks at Aggie and is like.
Julia (as Val): Is that actually Dr. Morrow up there?
Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna hop on top of my uh, my arms and keep them extended to preserve key points. And I'll, I'll grip myself up to jump on top of the truck, have the glasses on the whole time and look and see who's on top.
Eric: Cool. Why don't you, I'll give you a perception check to show you everything.
Amanda: Okay, 6 + 6 is 12. And do I have fame?
Eric: No. No fame on this
Amanda: 12.
Eric: Alright, 12. You kind of get a better sense of what's on top of the kaiju mountain lobster. And there is a Dr. Morrow standing, like, kinda, like, right on the, on the crown of the head. Front stage as it were of the kaiju mountain lobster, right? Dr. Morrow is standing there. There seems to be like a microphone setup. And maybe something that kind of looks like a wheel almost.
Julia: Like a helm?
Eric: That is at a helm. Yeah. And the speakers are flanking is Dr. Morrow on either side. You're getting looking right at that. Dr. Morrow, you see that Dr. Morrow is not real. It is made out of pixels.
Julia: Fucking knew it.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: It seems like you can climb up the legs. It seems like they're chitinous enough that you would be able to do so. Difficult, but you'd be able to do so. Also, the tail, although it is 30 feet up, if you can figure out a way to bring it down, could be another way for you to if you wanted to get on top you could. I would say also generally there are, you can climb this thing. And if you can figure out various points for you to get on it, you can climb it.
Julia: Great.
Eric: You can't see anymore. There seems to be, like, more stuff on top of the kaiju, but you can't really see. It's just, like, kind of blurry and still like specs. You know, like, you just see that, like, you assume that that is Dr. Morrow who is standing at the fore and you're like that, whoever is at the front is made out of pixels.
Julia: Okay, Eric, I have a mechanical question for some shenanigans that I would like to pull.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: The Hank-Bans, the like, let's say arcana but in our sense, the scientific aspect of the Hank-Bans is featured in the lens, correct?
Eric: Correct.
Julia: Great. If we can find either a cameraman or someone who is live streaming this, put the glasses in front and show that that's not Dr. Morrow, we can clear her name before having to destroy this giant monster.
Brandon: Love it.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I also want to pin the monster so, so we can have the evidence that there was a robot monster, you know?
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Additional evidence. but I like that. Yeah, that's cool.
Julia: Right.
Amanda: I'll pull out my phone and open the Instagram Live app that Carmen taught me and just start streaming through the glasses?
Julia: I like that. I worry that if it comes from us, we already seem biased because we worked with Dr. Morrow for so long.
Amanda: Sure.
Julia: I want to see if we can find either an individual or, like, we know that there was a cameraman and newscaster around here before. It would be useful to, like, have an unbiased source be like [in a deep voice] "That's not Dr. Morrow. That's pixels."
Amanda: If we break the glasses in half, will they still work?
Eric: No.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: You know, like, like they're prescription in a type of way. You know what I mean?
Julia: Sure.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm happy to give it to you Val and let you find the camera person. I think you'll move the most deftly. And I can use my stretching to try to start to get up on top of this mountain lobster or we can switch it. I don't really care.
Brandon (as Milo): Or I can give it to Tuna.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, that's cute.
Julia (as Val): It's cute. I don't know if I trust Tuna.
Amanda (as Aggie): If we trust Tuna, yeah.
Julia: And Tuna’s stats.
Brandon (as Milo): Good point. I don't trust Tuna with anything
Amanda (as Aggie): Val, you can also de-mask for a minute and, like, give it to somebody as a civilian and be like, [in a deep voice] I found this. Looks important.
[Amanda and Brandon laughs]
Julia: Yeah, don't notice that other than my face I look like the superhero Vulcani. Why don't you take these glasses?
Brandon: Just, like, show up in, like, athletic underwear. You're like, here's this thing.
Eric: I was jogging by, would you like sunglasses? I don't want them anymore.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda: Can I just do a perception check, Eric? Do I see a newsman anywhere? Like, can we look around?
Eric: Sure. You can do another perception check because these are two perception checks. I'm gonna say that is your action for this round.
Amanda: Does someone have more than a +6 to perception?
Julia: I have a +0.
Brandon: I have a +9.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, you should do it.
Brandon: 15. Do I add my fame?
Eric: No, I don't think so.
Brandon: Okay, so 6 + 9 for 15.
Amanda: If I hoist him up like a baby Simba does that help?
Eric: You can give him advantage but that will be your, that will be your uh, your action if you want to.
Amanda: I'll do it.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: I'm, I'm a baby Simba.
Amanda: With my long arms.
Brandon: Roar. 14 + 9 for a 23.
Julia: That's better.
Eric: 23. Yeah, there is definitely, I mean, Biz Blazer was there. He's on the scene. Yeah, seven and, there is definitely a seven and a half news truck around. You know, they need the help. They just, it's just a guy with a tripod anyway, so you could probably do what you have to do.
Julia: Brandon, can you prep your spells reaction so that once the --
Brandon: Yes.
Julia: -- thing is in place, it activates? Okay.
Brandon: Well, assuming I can do that action wise but yeah, that was my plan.
Eric: Yeah, you can do it action wise. I think both, you guys get, you can do a check and an action. I think both Aggie and Milo can still do stuff if you want to.
Brandon: Sick. Yeah, I'll do that. Eric, I'm going to prep a spell to trigger when the giant kaiju monster goes under the bridge, under the bridge.
Eric: Sure. That sounds great.
Julia: I think I'm going to launch myself off of the bridge and try to climb up onto the mountain lobster.
Eric: Hell yeah, dawg.
Amanda: Hell yeah, dude.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: I don't got no range, guys.
Eric: That sounds great. I love it.
Julia: Should I cast jump on myself?
Eric: I think so.
Julia: Okay, I'll do that. I'll cast jump on myself, which I believe is an action, but I still will have all of my movement and stuff like that.
Amanda: And if we're starting from an elevated highway, that should help.
Eric: That does. It definitely does. I'm not going to spend enough time to do math. I'm going to figure out what your jump distance is. Jump calculator. Shout out to jump calculator.
Julia: My speed is 40.
Eric: You're 5 feet tall. What's your strength score?
Julia: 20.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Definitely running start.
Brandon (as Milo): You're five feet tall?
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): Five feet zero?
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): What about it?
Eric: So, uh.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, what the fuck, Milo?
Eric: I love Dungeons and Dragons. Your long jump is 60 feet horizontally and you could jump 24 feet off the ground.
Julia: Cool. And that's with Jump?
Eric: That is with Jump. Correct. Okay, yeah, so you can definitely do it. Here's how holding out of the kaiju works.
Brandon: Five foot zero.
[Amanda laughs]
Amanda: I do feel like Milo is the kind of person that four years into a friendship will look down and be like, you're pretty short, huh?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Brandon, I'm 5'2. Do we have a problem?
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Brandon: No. I just thought it was funny. I'm just messing with you.
[Julia laughs]
Eric: So, you have plenty of, plenty of distance here throwing yourself off. I think that what we need to figure out is you holding on and where you end up.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: So, you can do either an athletics or an acrobatics check here. Athletics, you kind of just do it straight on. And then maybe you'll, and then you can hold on and then we'll figure it out from there.
Julia: 23. 14 + 9.
Eric: Hell yes. I was, like, I was thinking of a DC20. I love it. Yeah, what is this little, what does this look like, bud?
Julia: I mean, it looks like Bakugo fuckin' blasting with my fire hands and my fire feet. And I just, like, rocket towards --
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: -- this giant mountain lobster;.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Baller.
Eric: Hell yes. Where are you aiming for?
Julia: I mean, I would like to get past the claws. That's like one of my chief concerns at this point.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: See guys, this is why Julia is really good at D&D.
Eric: Okay, here's what I'm going to say. If you want to get past the claws, you're going to have to give me some sort of, like, dexterity check for aiming yourself if you're just throwing yourself.
Julia: Tabletop question, would it be buckwild for me to aim for the laser eyes?
Eric: Here's what I'm going to say. I'm going to give you three options here, Julia.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: One is you can go straight on. And then you're gonna have to deal with the claws trying to hit you out of the air.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: You will be the target of the claws. And we will see if you get hit like a tennis racket or something else, right? You can aim for the eye stocks, which are harder to grab. And also like grabbing a rope that is flying in the wind.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: You can also try to aim for the side, you're going to long shoot it to, like, kind of arc over because you can jump high enough and then you can land kind of farther on the back. It would be harder to hit you out of the air, but you would land, like, in the middle and not on the head.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Amanda: In the spot, you can't reach on the back?
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Correct.
Julia: I'm feeling option three. As much as I would love to punch a giant mountain lobster claw, I don't think that that's the smartest course of action. And also you did mention that there was, like, another person behind Dr. Morrow, "Dr. Morrow.".
Amanda: There's something. There's something.
Eric: There is something on. There. There are some other stuff on the head.
Julia: Okay. Yeah, so I think I want to launch past it.
Eric: Cool. Alright.
Julia: And then come back that way.
Eric: Yeah, I think you have plenty of height for you to launch yourself up. I think this is like in Celeste or you give yourself an air dash or a double jump. You jumped fully there and then just, like, all of a sudden there's, like, afterburners.
[whooshing noises]
Eric: Of shooting yourself up above. I think the kaiju is so going to swing at you, but it's gonna have disadvantage, definitely gonna have disadvantage on that.
Julia: Great.
Eric: So, we'll have you, you are, you are holding in the air while this is happening. I think that the kaiju is taking their steps forward. I'm going to roll for the other people and other people portion. Wonderful. The people with the black Supr hats are kind of, are steering, are steering. Trying to steer the kaiju a little bit. Not away from Highway One. It's still happening, but there was a moment where, like, it was about to step down on a coffee shop. And then, like, six superheroes kind of, like, flooded in, grabbed all the people out of the coffee shop and then everyone's like.
Eric (as Stranger): Oh my god, thank you so much and I didn't even spill my latte.
Eric: Like, there was just, like, a whole thing happening there.
Brandon: The barista had just finished drawing Monty onto the latte art.
Amanda: Oh, no!
Eric: Yeah. And then, like, everyone, and like there's, like, so some of like superspeed, like, busts in, pulls people out. You see Jack Hoover, the guy with the water powers from before, kind of like swooshes in on a wa-- and, like, riding on some water and, like, grabs people like he did the last time. And then, like, at the last second, like, the kaiju steps down and goes.
[booming noises]
Eric: And then the coffee shop has exploded. Everyone's like.
Eric (as Stranger): Wow, that could have been me. Thanks for saving me.
Amanda: Aggie's like.
Amanda (as Aggie): A free scoop at the factory wasn't enough for you? Why aren't you in Burlington?
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Aggie, make a perception check for me real quick.
Julia: Oh, man.
Brandon: Hoover's the guy with the vacuum powers, right? That's what--
Julia: No, water powers like dam.
Eric: It is for Hoover Dam. One of the modern wonders of the United States.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda: 11.
Eric: 11. Um, there were, like, six superheroes who were wearing the black super hats. Like, four of them were pixelated, two of them were not.
Amanda: Yeah, classic.
Eric: It is now, and now the kaiju has trained their eyes on Highway One, fully destroying Solita and is walking forward. Brandon, I passed the, the conch to you.
Brandon: Okay, like a fuckin' deadliest catch. Milo unleashes a spell called Bones of the Earth, in which he is going to create six ghost pillars of ectoplasm that -
Eric: Hell yeah!
Brandon: -- erupt from the bottom --
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: -- of the earth and --
Eric: Fuck yeah!
Brandon: -- lift up the kaiju from the stomach side and pin it against the highway there.
Eric: Yeah, these ghost pillars just comes-- just burst out of the ground. I think yeah, they're covered in ectoplasm, they're scary, they're spooky.
Brandon: It's like I'm fucking conducting an orchestra baby.
Eric: I love it. I love it.
Amanda: Disney's, what's that movie called?
Brandon: Fantaz shit.
Amanda: Phantasm?
Brandon: What's it called, Julia?
Julia: Fantasia?
Brandon: Fantasia!
Julia: God.
Amanda: Disney’s Fantasia.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: I'm just like all of a sudden I was like, "What are you guys trying to say?"
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: You just have to make that dex saving throw.
Eric: I do. I have to make the dex save to try to not be lifted by the pillar.
Brandon: Yeah, you have to hit a 17. And I'm going to assume a giant kaiju has low dexterity.
Eric: Interesting. Brandon, make an arcana check for me.
Brandon: 17 + 5 for 22.
Eric: Cool. You have had the ability to sense other types of magics and technology around you. That's what do you do with when you find the--
Brandon: With my magician glitter?
Eric: Yeah, with your magician glitter, right? Anubis has had you attuned to other types of magics that are around us. Even technology and the other things that you've seen around. The super of the superpower as it is, you feel something real strong coming off the head of the kaiju mountain lobster, not the mountain lobster itself. In fact, you even feel, is that? That might just be a giant mountain lobster. It might just be a giant animal, but there's something going on on top of it. And I'm going to use a legendary resistance to automatically save on that dexterity saving throw.
[Amanda audibly gasps]
Brandon: Cool, cool, cool.
Eric: So, the six pillars go up around it and is able, like, for it, like, pulls back for a second. It feels the magic, the ectoplasmic pillar coming out from underneath, and it pulls back. The pillars are still around the kaiju pinning it in, underneath the highway as it is but, it is not restrained.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Still good to have it in one place.
Eric: Yes. And then I have the– all of the pillars have an AC of 5 and 30 hit points that need to be reduced to turn it to rubble. I think that it needs, I need to just, I need to reduce at least two. to kind of like be able to go forward if it was around kind of in a circle to restrain.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Cool. Although it's able to avoid getting pinned by a ghostly pillar, the kaiju is struggling against the ghostly pillars, wailing loudly, slamming its claws against them, like, trapped in a cage. Its eye stalks flailing wildly.
[siren blaring]
Eric: And Val you are still flying through the air, propelling yourself with a double jump like a rocket tearing through the sky.
[siren fades]
[Join the Party theme music plays]
Transcribed by: John Matthew Sarong