There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don’t we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman, an explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea.
Dive into the classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, the Traditions mechanics, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Recording.
Eric: Okay we’re recording—
Brandon: Recording!
Eric: You know what, now that we're—we're starting, I do have something special that I want to share with you all.
Julia: Oh, no.
Amanda: Ohh?
Eric: Yeah. You know I've been talking about, you know maybe changing up my DM style a little bit after Monster of the Week. You know, it's 2023, am I going to be a new person and everything? So I do have something that I'm— I am going to make some changes for. I have it right over here.
[rustling]
Julia: Uh-oh, why is—oh no.
Brandon: Oh god, it's an Amazon envelope package thing.
Julia: What is happening? Oh, you got the glove!
Eric: It's a heel turn, baby! This my DMing glove, you're all gonna fucking die!
Eric: Heel—I'm a heel, I'm a DM! I’m the best DM in podcasting, and you're all gonna die, and I have the glove to prove it!
Brandon: Oh my god.
Amanda: Listeners, Eric is wearing a white nylon glove with a fully bedazzled front.
Eric: Brandon, now that I'm evil, I need to have a costume change to designate it.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah.
Eric: Alright, is everybody ready?
Julia: Of course—
Amanda: Yes!
Julia: —naturally.
Amanda: God, I'm ready!
Eric: Woo!
[theme]
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plants and bug people flourished and thrive. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast salt sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk called on the ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind in between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunmen with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign Three: The Rising Tide.
Brandon: Woooooo!
Julia: Woooooo!
Amanda: Yaaaay!
[theme]
Brandon: So those are all three of my characters, who are y'all playing?
Julia: I don't know what you're talking about, Brandon. I'm the ripe produce.
Eric: That was just about Julia.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: I am the Tea Witch in this friend group.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. Here on Esca Island, one of the many, many, many islands that dot the salted sea. The only thing open at this time of night is the Sitting Spot. The only bar and you know, do you really need multiple bars when there's only that many people living here? Anyone who is not supposed to be curfewed at 8 PM by their mothers goes to the Sitting Spot after work. And what can work be on such a small island? In the town of Esca, on Esca Island, we're just living here. The town has only been here for a few years. All the buildings have been quickly put up to capitalize on the pirate economy that comes in waves, no pun intended. The Sitting Spot looks more like a kitchen than it does a bar, but it's close enough. A combination of old and recovered chairs and tables. A bar set up over on one side, but it's a bar only in the way that you could sit, that's where they put the stools. Just hammering a bunch of plywood together. And you can't go back there because the bartender, Jami, will not let you back there unless you have a very, very good reason and no one has a very very good reason.
Brandon: Classic Jami.
Eric: Classic Jami.
Julia: Classic Jami.
Eric: Also that's where all the bottles are, so I guess that's the bar, you know. But you know as every day after 8 PM, The Sitting Spot is as busy as it is because that's— that's all you're supposed to go. When you're gonna sit in your own kitchen? I'm gonna sit in this kitchen instead. It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday. [laughs]
Julia: The regular crowd shuffles in.
Eric: Yeah, Billy Joellee is there playing. Billy Joellee, a stack of blueberries, is sitting at the piano.
Brandon: A stack of blueberries is so funny to me.
Amanda: How is he held together? That's impolite to ask.
Eric: Don't ask. Don't ask. Playing the shanties, and old songs that anyone is allowed to ask for, but a lot of them kind of all sound similar because you're just plunking on the same, with your big blueberry hands that you got. At that moment, the door is pushed open, and you hear the ding, di-ding of the bell set up over the bar so that every single person who was allowed out after 8 PM in the town of Esca can turn towards the door and figure out who the hell is coming into their bar because everyone else is here. And that's when three pirates stride into the bar. Cammie, Troy, Umbi. Everything that I've just described is what you see as you walk inside. 25 townsfolk looking at you and Billy Joellee the stack of blueberries suddenly cutting off the music.
Brandon: Is Billy Joellee, any like jelly is that anything?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, that's how it's spelled, but it's pronounced Joel.
Amanda: Ohhh...
Brandon: Okay, okay.
Eric: Yeah, it's J O E L L E E, but it's pronounced Joel.
Amanda: Adjusting my notes.
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): Billy, I love that guy.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh my gosh, it's so cozy in here. I love this.
Brandon: Uh, Umbi just makes a beeline for Jami at the bar.
Eric: At the bar, Jami is an oversized, incredibly ripe tomato.
Amanda: What color?
Eric: Oh, very red, very red—
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: —and bruised in some places. Mostly tomato on top with the kind of body then it can only hold up such a bulbous tomato, and a little sprig of green stem hair.
Brandon: Same.
Eric (as Jami): Welcome to the Sitting Spot. Was there anything you would like, here, or that I can pour for you?
Brandon: What kind of like drinks are behind the bar? Like—like, am I looking at like nectars? Am I looking at like—
Eric: Sure. I think that there's one single tap attached to something. And on the bar is a scattering of bottles. Some of them open, some of them dusty, some of them full, with all various X's and Skull and Bones. Some of them have notes that are tied to them that say that they're for specific people. They might not have everything, but you can ask.
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): What uh—what's your favorite, bro?
Eric (as Jami): Oh, you know, I just usually have this on tap. It's the good stuff.
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): Good enough for me. One for me, and one for you, bud.
Eric (as Jami): Oh, thanks—thank you so much. You still need to pay for both. Even though—because that's just how the economy works here.
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): My man, I will.
Brandon: Jami, bartender, and economist.
Eric (as Jami): It's my—it's my bar. That’s what I have to do. Also who— is this Brandon who is in my world? Why is there a human named Brandon making jokes with me?
Eric: Jami takes a red hand and pulls on the— on almost like it's fashion out of an old harpoon, that is attached to the tap.
Brandon: Coool.
Julia: Wow.
Amanda: Eric, are you sure this isn't in Julia's house?
Eric: Yeah, that'd be Julia's house.
Julia: It could be, someday.
Eric: The old harpoon is kind of the handle on the tap and out comes a dark sludgy beer, and he pours one for himself, and he pours one for you.
Eric (as Jami): Um, would you li—would you like this to be sticky?
Julia (as Cammie): What an odd question to ask someone.
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): How do you take it?
Eric (as Jami): Well, what we do here, we add, if you want extra sap, we can make it extra sticky as a floater.
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): No, that's alright, man. Thank you. I'll take it—I'll take it right out the tap.
Eric (as Jami): Are you sure? It's really good if it's sticky. I always drink it sticky.
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): Ma—my man, then I'll take it sticky.
Eric (as Jami): Absolutely, I’ll make it extra sticky.
Eric: Jami takes both of the beers, put them behind the bar and you hear slick a quick sloshing for a second and pull them back up. It seemed like there was a floater of tree sap on tap, as he slides one down the bar to Troy. Amanda, would you like to tell me about our good friend, Troy?
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): Yeah, what's up, I’m Troy Riptide? I'm Mariner, Kingdom of the Crags. What up?
Amanda: And he gets a Shaka sign. Umm--
Eric: To the—to the camera?
Amanda (as Troy Riptide): Yep. I'm a butterfly. I'm not a—not all—all over the place about it. My wings are all tied up. Hard on the open seas, have a big— big target. It's like your sailboat, you know what I mean? That’s not the business I’m in. I'm quick with my crossbow, quicker with my dagger. And you don't want to cross me or my friends, because we're gonna get that salmon. We're gonna find that lake. I'm gonna bring glory to the Crags, baby.
Julia and Brandon: Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags.
Eric: All of the friends Troy should have, goes Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags. And Amanda, what class are you playing for Troy Riptide?
Amanda: Yes, I am playing the Gunslinger with the Trick Shot Subclass. So I am basically incredibly good at firing my weapons, at making my shots land, and making daring feats of basically anti-gravity, if I ever miss.
Eric: That sounds cool. I'm sure that— that won't come up later. Don't—don't worry.
Julia: Why would it?
Eric: Yeah. Why would any of that happen as Troy goes Annie Oakley with your crossbow? Yeah, why don't you describe Troy? What does Troy look like? What's Troy wearing?
Amanda: Totally. So Troy is a species of butterfly with a black body, and really brilliant yellow wings, which he wears rolled up. Almost like you know, like a bedroll you can buy like a renaissance fair? Almost like rolled up in like a leather, almost backpack that he wears. And so there are two wings, each rolled up with their own little leather covers so they don't get wet and weigh him down out on the open seas. And then in between the wings is his crossbow, where he wears it over— over his back with his arrow quiver there as well. He's got a dagger on his belt, and fists that are ready to fly. And he’s got big ‘ol bug eyes, little antennae. And when he's in private, he’ll use his proboscis to drink his drink. But he can also just kind of like slurp it into his mouth and play company.
Eric: I love that.
Amanda: Nice. Yeah.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Eric (as Jami): We don't see many pirates coming over this way. What brings you to our humble Esca Island?
Amanda: Troy sticks his proboscis in the sap and looks at his colleagues.
Eric (as Jami): I mean, is it a sore subject?
Julia (as Cammie): Why would it be—sore subject! Nothing's a sore subject.
Eric (as Jami): Oh, well, you know, I said why are you here? Then all you comically looked at each other.
Julia (as Cammie): That's a bit that we do. I—I love bits.
Eric (as Jami): I also have inside jokes with my friends, that sounds about right. Miss, would you like anything?
Julia (as Cammie): Um no, no, I'm—actually—
Julia: And then Cammie grabs the tea kettle that is at their side attached to their belt and places it on the bar and ask—
Julia (as Cammie): Do you have more saltwater by any chance?
Eric (as Jami): No I-- this seems like an impertinent question to ask a pirate but, you were just coming from the place with all the salt water.
Julia (as Cammie): I am. I was, but I do need to top off Nonny’s saltwater every like half an hour or so, or else she gets a little grumpy, so.
Eric (as Jami): Is Nonny the name of your tea kettle which you brought inside of a bar establishment?
Julia (as Cammie): No!
Julia: And then—and then Cammie pops off the lid, and out of the tea kettle, you see tentacles made out of seaweed kind of emerge and then pull it back on.
Brandon: Oh my god, Julia. Fucking incredible.
Amanda: What?!
Eric: Hey Julia—
Amanda: Pets pets pets pets pets pets!
Eric: Hey Julia, what's going on? Who are you playing, and who is this fun tentacled creature?
Julia: I am playing Chamomile Cassis, a.k.a Cammie, a.k.a Cam, and they are a Tea Witch.
Brandon: Fuck. Yes.
Eric: What?
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Oh my god. So you class, Witch. Subclass—
Julia: Tea!
Eric: Yes, of course. Julia. Please describe Cammie and also your little tentacled companion.
Julia: Yeah. So Cammie is a Tea Plant. She is more on the kind of stout side with very like, wide top branches and leaves. But the top right half of her leaves are actually blighted with something called Blister Blight. So it's covered in this kind of gray and white spore-ish scars that have infected her leaves. She is kind of dressed in sort of flowy clothing, a lot of like blues, and yellows, and browns. And in her tea kettle is her Familiar, which is currently in the form of a seaweed octopus named Anonyma or Nonny for short.
Brandon: Yeah!
Amanda: Hell yeah, dude.
Eric: Blblblbllrrr! Just try it out. Just try it out Nonny’s little-- Blblblbllrrr!
Julia: Yeah. No, go ahead, I love it.
Eric: Blblblbllrrr!
Julia: Nonny can change shape, but Nonny's favorite shape is the seaweed octopus. So Nonny prefers to stay a little saltwater when traveling away from the ship.
Amanda: Incredible.
Brandon: I get it.
Julia: Same.
Eric (as Jami): I can't— I mean you—this might be something that you need to make by yourself, but I can offer you a glass or some water, add some salt. Just some table salt for you to combine for yourself. I don't want to presume that I understand how you make tea.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, that will probably be fine. Thank you very much.
Eric (as Jami): I'm just a low– I'm just a bartender. I don't know how to take care of tea.
Julia (as Cammie): You shouldn't—you shouldn't degrade yourself just because you don't know the art of tea. That's totally fine, that's totally acceptable. Not everyone spends their entire life learning about tea.
Eric (as Jami): I just know what I know and know what I don’t know. I’m not coming down on myself, it’s more about being aware.
Amanda: Troy raises his mug.
Amanda (as Troy): My man.
Julia (as Cammie): I love that for you.
Brandon: Legit. Those last couple of words Eric did not catch them, but I'm cool.
Eric (as Jami): [mumbles] I'm a tomato.
Julia: Oh god the transcript.
Eric: Unintelligible, unintelligible.
Julia: Yeah, grumbles, grumbles, mumbles, mumbles.
Eric: Grumbles, grumbles, grumbles, mumbles, scrambles.
Eric (as Jami): So are you-- can I help you, do you have any questions about what we have behind the bar?
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric: I'm trying to do new hourly questions about one where co— about what we have for drink in here in this establishment?
Brandon (as Umbi): Ah. Can I have your juiciest drink? Extra sap, extra sticky.
Amanda: Damn.
Eric (as Jami): Absolu—absolutely. Well, hold on, now. Let me– Unfortunately-- Let me sort everything-- [laughs]
Julia: You're too in the weeds with it, bring it back, bring it back.
Eric (as Jami) [mumbles] Hold on a minute, I have to look at something. Hold on, I gotta look at all of the bottles we currently have here, and figure out what's the juiciest, if you’ll just wait a moment.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, that's fine. I got all of the time.
Eric: Hey, Brandon, what's—who's this, who's this? Let me know.
Julia: I knew what to expect Brandon when you described your character like I had an inkling.
Amanda: Still good.
Julia: I have a question as to why you keep choosing voices that seem like they really hurt your throat, but—
Amanda: Bradon, this is the beginning of the campaign, you have the opportunity to make adjustments.
Brandon: So I legitimately did think about this Julia, and this one does not hurt my throat.
Amanda: Yay!
Brandon: I don't know why.
Julia: Okay, good.
Brandon: But—
Julia: I'm glad.
Brandon: This is Umbi. Full name, Asimina Triloba. Umbi is a Pawpaw fruit, which if you are not aware, is a sort of North American mango type thing. He is old. He's an old— old man, old man. He's sort of like big on top and bottom, kind of crooked over a little bit. He has a Pawpaw flower on top of his head as a hat, which is like a red purple maroonish flower with six petals.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: And when bruised, the—he has a disagreeable odor similar to a green bell pepper.
Eric: So maybe now it's happening?
Brandon: Some probably all the time.
Julia: All the time.
Eric: That sounds great.
Amanda: That sounds better.
Eric: Like I love—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —the smell of my grandma's house, but what if I walked in there and it was green bell pepper? That'd be tight as hell.
Julia: That'd be—that'd be nice.
Eric: I would love that.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Tell me about what game mechanics are powering this folk?
Brandon: So Umbi is an alchemist, and his subclass is Mad Bomber. Which means I go around the Earth scouring for cool ingredients, mix them together, and then blow shit up.
Brandon: Well that sounds alright, that's good.
Amanda: Love it.
Eric: That’s good things.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric (as Jami): Sorry, it seems like we do have our juiciest bottle is currently on reserve by one of the members here, but I can get you something that's pretty juicy that I can make extra sticky.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?!
Eric (as Jami): Well, you see someone at the—
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't think this is my hearing. I think this is the— what?!
Eric (as Jami): Er, hold on.
Eric: And he reaches below— below the bar, takes out like a horn—a horn and places it between you and uh—over the bar and then he starts shouting into it.
Eric (as Jami): [loud mumbling] –The bottle that is taken, that's the juiciest one we have, is currently on reserve by one of the members here on Esca island. Unfortunately, I can get you something pretty juicy, but not the juiciest that we have, but I can make it extra sticky.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, as long as it's extra sticky, that'll be just fine. Thank you.
Eric (as Jami): Absolutely. Do you want to know how we make it sticky?
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh, does anyone ever want to know how the sausage is made?
Eric (as Jami): I guess not, but also I'm gonna tell you anyway.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Eric (as Jami): We're just gonna jam—we jam it into an open stop that we have here. We all love it.
Amanda: Troy's already wide butterfly eyes get a little bit wider and he retracts the proboscis.
Brandon (as Umbi): Sounds tasty, I'll take three. I mean I'll take one, but enough sap for three.
Eric (as Jami): Absolutely that's fine—that's on the house.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you. What? Really? Thanks.
Eric (as Jami): No, the stickiness, you all still need to pay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay. Cool, cool.
Eric (as Jami): Like I said, it’s an establishment.
Julia (as Cammie): I am just saying that I did offer to make everyone free tea earlier on the ship, and everyone turned me down, so…
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, you said do you want tea? And then you said—you showed us Nonny, and didn’t think it was cool to like drink your friend?
Julia (as Cammie): I mean I can— It's fine, It's fine.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, thanks.
Amanda (as Troy): You know when, when like casing out a new spot, it's really great to just like find out where the locals hang and get a sense of like, where they're at, and what they do? And, you know, you got to pay a little bit for that privilege. You know what I mean? What, it’s called recon?
Julia (as Cammie): Pay people for the privilege of knowledge. That's what a book is! I understand now.
Amanda (as Troy): But like does a book know that there's like a weird smell somewhere, or like where the gold is? Or you know like they don't necessarily know.
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, if someone writes it down in a book, then yes, the book does know. But I understand where you're coming from Troy, I understand.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm just saying, my way comes with extra sap.
Amanda: And Troy cheerses his glass up.
Julia (as Cammie): Sure is a lot of sap.
Brandon: I didn't want to say when I was introducing my character that Umbi was drinking juicy ale with extra tree sap, when you were knee high to a cranberry, I said that in my head.
Eric: No, that's true. No, that's true thing.
Julia: It's good and true.
Eric: Yeah, I think that by this point when you are talking to each other, everyone at the bar has turned back to themselves. You didn't come in here shooting, so it seems pretty okay for now. Though people do have their eyes on you, but Cammie you're not sure if it's because of the regular reasons or any other reasons.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm used to the looks at this point—
Brandon: What are the regular reasons?
Julia (as Cammie): —that's fine. I'm covered in blight, just absolutely covered in it. But thank you for pointing it out, again.
Amanda (as Troy): So uh—where uh— do we know where the temple is?
Julia (as Cammie): I think we should play the tourist angle. And what we do is we say hey, do you have any cool historic buildings that we can see such as temples?
Brandon (as Umbi): Temples! Cammie, if I haven’t said it before, you're brilliant.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you. I don't hear that very often, and I love it.
Amanda (as Troy): Seconded.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy you— Troy you have the best rapport with—with this sweet—sweet tomato, so why don't you handle this?
Amanda (as Troy): You're right.
Amanda: It's weird that this tomato is named after my grandmother, so I'm just taking a minute to get over it.
Julia: Every time I'm like, hmm Jami.
Amanda: Troy kind of like a uses one arm to flip back his debonair adventurer coat and puts one—one of his six arms on the bar goes uh—
Eric: It’s the one where he does all of the lifting on?
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: That's what glamor muscles look like for butterflies.
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: It's only the top, always the top, the arms.
Amanda: Eric, It's all in the joints, it's all in the joints.
Eric: Oh, you—they love juicy joints. Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, juicy joints.
Brandon: Troy? Huge joints.
Eric: Massive joints.
Amanda: You know what they say, Brandon? Huge joints, good lift.
Eric: Big proboscis.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, great recommendation, man. I'm really enjoying this sap.
Eric (as Jami): Oh, thank you. It's kind of—I shouldn't have described how it worked. But I'm glad you still like it. Kind of makes kind of a squelch when you put the—when you put it in there.
Amanda (as Troy): You know, I think the best things in life do, and—
Eric (as Jami): True, so true. So true.
Amanda (as Troy): Speaking of your great taste, my uh—my buds here, and I have a vested interest in finding a temple nearby, would you be able to point us to that?
Brandon: While this is happening in the background, you just see that Umbi's turned around and is watching Billy Joellee and—
Eric: It's just Billy—it's just Billy Joel.
Amanda: Just Joel, Brandon, just a short French Joel.
Brandon: And says—
Brandon (as Umbi): Play Piano Grape!
Julia: [sings] Sing us the song, you’re the piano grape!
Amanda: You can tell it’s a character and not him, because he's a berry.
Eric: Yeah. [sings] Make us some Welch tonight.
Julia: Woow!
Eric (as Jami): Oh, I don't, there’s not… I don't think that there’s anything like that that’s here in town. We’re just a small town that built up around the Tide boom. And we're here just living our lives because we're all escaped from the tyranny of living in the countries that we’re from, living the freedom. So, we don't have anything, I don't think that—
Brandon: Eric, can you roll a Deception Roll?
Eric: Yeah, it's pretty obvious that the tomato bartender is spinning his wheels and is not telling you stuff like—
Amanda: Troy's buff arm to flick back to the other side of his coat where his dagger is on his belt. And takes a tarnished doubloon out of his belt pouch, slides it across the board.
Brandon: Eric is it a ‘doubloom’?
Eric: It is a doubloom. Actually Amanda, can you take it again with doubloom?
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no sorry. [coughs] A doubloom.
Eric: With an M at the end. Yeah.
Amanda: A tarnished doubloom. Brandon, I hope you can run with that and use that.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Jami): Oh well you're— I'm not really the most informed person here. You should talk to any of the-- I don't really get out much over this area. You should talk to some of the other folks that are here. I’m sure they can tell you about any sort of religious inst-- religious place that ha-- Hey, wh--
Amanda: Troy drags the doubloom back across to his side of the bar.
Eric (as Jami): I'm sure someone else here can definitely help you on what you're looking for, and who also doesn't want any trouble in their establishment?
Julia (as Cammie): Have we caused trouble? Oh, no, I didn't mean to cause trouble.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?!
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, It's not that— that's not the water thing. Trying to intimidate this guy.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, I can help with that.
Julia: And again, we just like lead forward blight-side first and like, starts like giggling to herself be like–
Julia (as Cammie): [giggles] We're tourists, tell us where the temple is?
Eric: Hey, hey Julia, give me an Intimidation Roll, please?
Julia: Yeah, of course. A 14 + 2 for a 16.
Amanda: Aye, this bodes well.
Eric: That's very good, that's good stuff.
Julia (as Cammie): We're tourists, I read about in a book.
Amanda: Troy is spinning the coin on the bar top.
Brandon: And it never stops spinning. Oh, no!
Julia: It's just a dream the entire time.
Eric (as Jami): Oh, I have to change the taps. And I have something to do, but you could talk to Hondo who knows plenty of things, who is kind of the leader of our—of our little town. Please go—you can go talk to him. He's standing over there on the other side of the bar. I have to go.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, thank you.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.
Eric (as Jami): Thank you. Please keep all weapons and deformities to yourself. Thank you, good bye.
Julia (as Cammie): Well that's rude!
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, bud, over the line.
Eric (as Jami): I’m sorry. Do you want me to apologize?
Amanda (as Troy): Say sorry to my friend here.
Eric (as Jami): I'm sorry, my friend here.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.
Julia (as Cammie): I'll—I'll take it. Thank you.
Eric (as Jami): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Great sap, my man, great sap.
Eric (as Jami): Just let me know if you need anything else.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.
Eric: As uh— as the tomato bartender with tomato juice rolling down his-- rolling down, his oversized red brow. Um, goes and leans underneath the tap and starts adjusting something, that you know doesn't need adjusting.
Julia (as Cammie): So which ones, Hondo? Hmm…
Eric (as Jami): He's the tall—he's the tallest fellow over there.
Julia (as Cammie): I look. Who's tall?
Eric: Yup. So looking out over the eclectic furniture of the Sitting Spot. Like I said, it's pretty full. Like, there's only enough chairs in here for the people who live in the town of Esca, right? Some people are huddled over what looks like a diner table with various chairs and whispering to each other in hurried glances. You can see that over in the corner is Hondo, who is like a seven-foot tall stick bug, who actually looks like a stick, his skin is very, very bark-ish and rough.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: It looks like birch bark actually.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: So it has like the pock-- it's white with the brown pocks that you wouldn't expect—
Amanda: Tight as hell.
Eric: —on a stick bug. And he's very much holding court in the corner booth with some of his friends and he's talking loudly. He has coveralls on, and that he's kind of like, in the only way you could make coveralls like, casual. He has like one button off and he's like an undershirt, you can see the shirt underneath. Because he's at the bar and he gets to be chill.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: I love that for him.
Eric: You're also looking around and some people are like playing cards over on the side as well. So there's definitely chatter. There's ru—rumors and people are talking and laughing and arguing and arguing about which ship is better. What happens next and what happens now?
Brandon: Well, I think Umbi just gonna walk over to Hondo's table, slam his drink down on the table and say—
Brandon (as Umbi): Hondo, my old friend!
Brandon: And I have a thing that Eric made up called, I think I know you?
Eric: Yup.
Amanda: Sounds like an Eric Silver joint.
Brandon: Uh-huh.
Eric: Hey, well— well firstly, let's talk about your background really quick. What's it called?
Brandon: Old, Old Man.
Eric: Old, old man, yeah.
Julia: Old man. Old man. Old, old man.
Brandon: And that background gives me what Eric made up which is I think I know you, which is once for a long rest, I can choose one person I've just met. I roll a D10. And on a 10, I've met this person or their parents years ago.
Eric: Or grandparents. Or grandparents or great-grandparents.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: And got on well or not, up to me. And if I wrote 8 or 9 I have some tangential connection I can play into, but it's not automatic. And on the one, you think you know them, but do you? And all else is I don't know them. So I would like to give that a go.
Eric: Sure. Let's do it.
Amanda: Hey, this is cool.
Brandon: Does that give me anything else, Eric? Oh, it just gave me proficiencies, that's what it was.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: What old man proficiencies did you have?
Eric: Brandon got old man strength, so proficiency in athletics.
Julia: Wow!
Brandon: Yeah, old man stretchiness you know?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Well, unfortunately, I got 4.
Eric: Alright, it's a 4.
Brandon: So I don't know them.
Eric (as Hondo): I don't think so. I—I was born on this island. I grew up on this island. And I live on this island and I never leave the island, so I have never seen anyone like you before, friend, but I hope you're enjoying your time here on Esca because I don't know you, so you're definitely not from here.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I mistook you. I have an old friend, uh look—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, okay, grandfather, that's uh— that was enough.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?!
Amanda (as Troy): I'm so sorry about him, I'm Troy.
Brandon: And then Umbi started like, ambulates feebly to the side, so Troy could get in.
Eric: Just like the tiniest little shuffle to the left.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Cammie like puts a hand over his shoulder, like–
Julia (as Cammie): There, there grandpa, it's okay. Would you like a cup of tea, grandpa?
Amand(as Troy): Sorry, unfortunately, this has happened more than once, you know what I mean?
Eric (as Hondo): That's uh—that's alright. All the members of Esca, old, young, tall or short, green, yellow, red, stripes, purple, white, petaled, not petaled, leaved, winged, multiple legs, they're all equal in our eyes as long uh—so I understand—I understand.
Julia (as Cammie): That's all of them, you named all of them.
Eric (as Hondo): I named all the types of Greenfolk, I did it, because I know them all.
Amanda (as Troy): That uh— that ideology is—is exactly why we decided to take our break from—from traveling here on Esca. Is there—we heard that there is a really beautiful temple uh, Cammie over here loves to read. Whatever. And I love to know if uh—
Eric: Fucking nerd!
Amanda (as Troy): —she read it um in a—
Julia (as Cammie): In a book!
Amanda (as Troy): Just want to know. Yep, yep, that's what they like to do, is read. And uh, anything? Do you know where that is? Do you know where we could find it? Kind of had our hearts set on it, do you know what I mean?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, so I guess you do know something about Esca. You don't have to lie. And we—that's the only reason people come here. You want to see the Sea Devils Temple?
Brandon (as Umbi): What?!
Julia (as Cammie): Yes, we do.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yes! What's that? It wasn't here last time I was here.
Julia (as Cammie): It's okay— that's okay, grandpa.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-huh.
Julia (as Cammie): That's alright. Things change as time goes on.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't think so.
Eric: Jesus, I’m gonna have to get used to that. Oh my god. Okay.
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, of course. Okay, of course. You want to see the temple, you don't have to be so sly about it. Well, we just don't give out the way to the temple for free.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, you want to play me for it?
Eric (as Hondo): Are you—oh you're a game— you're a games bug?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): Well we have a game that we play here on Esca, you're interested?
Amanda (as Troy): I mean, I have a game I play too, but you know whatever your—your fancy, is. If you wanna play a home game on your home turf. I'm— I'm there for it.
Eric (as Hondo): Why? What's your game?
Amanda (as Troy): So One Card Manny?
Eric (as Hondo): That sounds— that sounds like a game you just made up?
Amanda (as Troy): No, I have a deck right here.
Julia (as Cammie): No, it's very fun, we play it all the time.
Amanda: Troy draws out of his leg pocket—
Amanda (as Troy): Two cards. It’s One Card Manny.
Eric (as Hondo): So it’s a deck of two cards.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. You take one, I take one. The one that says Manny, wins.
Brandon: They're not even cards, they're just pieces of paper, one says Manny, the other one doesn’t.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Well, yeah, tell me about this deck, Amanda?
Amanda: They're actually beautifully designed with different logos on the back of them. Volcanoes and moss, jagged rocks, and high winds. Just like beautiful kind of angular geographical—have you ever seen the um—the Giant's Causeway in Ireland, with like beautiful hexagonal stone formations? That's kind of the vibe, like very geometrical design, that's the back of the card. You flip it over, one says Manny, and one is blank.
Eric: One says, MANNY?
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Like M—M A N N Y?
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Manny made it up.
Eric (as Hondo): Your friend Manny?
Amanda (as Troy): Manny's a legend, man.
Brandon (as Umbi): I know Manny.
Amanda (as Troy): Gre— he does—he does actually, this time.
Eric (as Hondo): What—what kind of game— what kind of game is this? This isn't some sort of Tide game. This feels like somebody came back thousands of years. Where are you—where are you from?
Amanda (as Troy): Kingdom of the Crags, baby.
Julia, Brandon and Eric: Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): Oh yeah. You sound like someone who has like all their ancestors cheering Crags behind you.
Amanda (as Troy): You know, not a lot much to do over there, other than eke out a modest living from whatever inhospitable environment we can find. Venerate our—our Royals, no matter what they do or don't do for us, and makeup games.
Eric (as Hondo): Sounds like a lot of fun. And by a lot of fun, I mean, I could see why you're a pirate.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeaaah—You know, it really beat being a soldier, not gonna lie to you.
Eric (as Hondo): That sounds about right. Well, you know, we have a game here on Esca. I feel like we shouldn't be— I mean, you talk-- You know, we're kind of at an impasse and I like—
Amanda (as Troy): No no, you're— you're doing us a favor. You don't want to play One Card Manny, I got it. You got—let's play what you got.
Eric (as Hondo): We go—will play you know if— if all goes the way that you want, we can play One Card Manny whenever you like, you can stay here.
Amanda (as Troy): Tight.
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah. What—we'll play the game that we play on Esca. Does everyone want to do it?
Eric: Hondo lifts up his mug of dark beer and slams it like three times on his table and be like—
Eric (as Hondo): Hey is there anyone want to play? We want to play a game. The new—newcomers want to play game and they're like—
Eric (as Greenfolk): Yeah, definitely sounds great. Everything's boring here, this is great.
Eric: And it’s like—
Eric (as Hondo): Alright, let's arrange the tables.
Eric: And everyone starts chanting “drink the drink, drink the drink.”
Julia: Oh my god!
Eric: Drink the drink, drink the drink.
Brandon: Oh my god.
Amanda: Eric Silver's cinematic universe strikes again.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. Are you enjoying the great salty, plant-filled world of Verda Stello as much as I am? I was thinking all about the episode this morning as I was recording this and just looking for a little moment of zen and decided to repot one of my plants. It felt very of a moment with Verda Stello and with the world, and with the campaign coming out. So I started my morning with my hands in soil, smelling that smell and misting my plants, and admiring all the new little leaves that are coming out in my miniature olive tree. So welcome to the mid-roll. That's so much new growth! Thank you so much to our new buds, get it, get it because it's like plans and also friends. Thank you to Lizzie, Eenie, and Sai Chap, our newest patrons over at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. My joy when we get a new patron and when I see a new leaf or a bud on my tree is exactly the same. 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[theme]
Eric (as Hondo): Hey Jami, pull the mugs down for drink the drink.
Eric (as Jami): Okay, I guess I’ll go do it now.
Amanda (as Troy): I think you guys roll the way I like to roll here on Esca.
Eric (as Hondo): How and what’s the way you think that we roll?
Amanda (as Troy): Drinking the drink, man.
Eric (as Hondo): Steeply, of course.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: To everyone—
Amanda: Can we— can we hit forearms? Bug antenna to bug antenna?
Eric: Yeah, sure. You guys hit bug forearms. Everyone— as everyone starts clearing the tables and chairs away, Hondo's are describing drink the drink. There are three, ja—so Jami has pulled down five, quote-unquote “mugs of beer” that are arranged on one of the tables in front of you in a— in a line. Now three of them are seawater, one of them is poisoned seawater, and one of them is a real mug of beer. Of course, Jami has doctored them all up so they all look to be the same sludgy dark beer that he has been serving to everyone here in the Sitting Spot.
Eric (as Hondo): So the way that you win, it's kind of like we count down from 10 questions you would ask to figure out which mug of beer it is. We bet on each other about who could do this in less questions? And then, you know, you choose one at the end. If you choose the poison mug, you have terrible luck and I'm—I'm sorry that that happened to you. Would you like to sign this waiver that says I'm not responsible for you dying here in this place?
Amanda (as Troy): When you say dying, do you mean like really dying?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, yeah, definitely.
Amanda (as Troy): Ohh…
Brandon (as Umbi): Are we all playing, or is it just Tr-- you know, I'm fine to die. It's cool. I've been around for a long time.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, grandfather, we—we don't want—
Eric (as Hondo): Whoever wants to play can play, but you know, we're gonna have to play individually, only one person. You don't like—it's not a team game that you get to do all five at the same time.
Brandon (as Umbi): Gotcha.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm—I'm good. I do want to say though, that I did ask for sea water earlier, and it wasn't provided to me. They said, here's a water with salt in it. Ja—Jami, I'm looking at you.
Eric (as Jami): Bro, I’m saving it in case we had to play a game. I’m sorry--
Brandon: You'll have enough for four mugs of seawater.
Eric (as Jami): Only have one. I only one, don't have enough. Otherwise I've got to go outside and then all the ruffians will go-- all the ruffians come behind the bar and take the bottles that they’re not supposed to take.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, no, I'll play. I'm ready to drink.
Brandon: Hang on, because I have—I have a thing called natural philosopher where I get to add a bonus to any ability check to identify poisons.
Julia and Amanda: Ooooh.
Julia: Yeah, go grandpa.
Brandon: It might be advantageous for me to play.
Amanda: Alright cool.
Julia: Go, grandpa go.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I'm always down to kick the ass of a young whippersnapper.
Eric (as Greenfolk): Ohhhh, oohhhh, he said that to the guy who we like. He's tall.
Eric (as Hondo): Okay, alright, let's sit down. If someone wants to find themselves buried back into the loam and have their seeds grow into new things that we develop in a circle of life and all of that. I'm not going to keep them from doing it. Okay…
Eric: So we're gonna go back and forth. It's kind of be kind of like name that tune. We're gonna start with 10. What you say is I can drink it in blank questions as we go slowly down. And then each question is going to be like an action that you can do. If the people watching are going to try to interfere, I think that might be a problem if someone was watching and the people were going to cheat. But I'm not going to tell you one way or another. Depending on what you bet on, you have that number of actions to drink the drink.
Brandon: Okay. Now, just to clarify real quick for me, seawater is not bad for us, right?
Eric: No, it's not great. I think that if you drink seawater or pure freshwater for any of you, it would give you a bad taste and the tummy rumbles, and you might spend the night in the bathroom.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: But it's not-- definitely not poisonous. It's more like a prank, you pull on someone else like giving them a Four Loko.
Brandon: Got it. Okay.
Julia: Eric, is Brandon going to be making like a saving throw or ability check as part of this at some point?
Eric: Yeah, these will be ability checks.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Brandon, I'm going to use a hex for you then.
Eric: Ooooh. That's one of the things the witch does.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Yes, please.
Julia: Alright, I have to write it down. And I can tell you before you roll what you got. It wasn't a very good roll, so we'll see if I end up even using it, but—
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: So the—what—how does it—how does this work for the— this hex?
Julia: So this is a Hex called Tasseography. So basically, as an action, you can choose a friendly creature you can see within 60 feet of you roll a D 20, and record the number rolled. Until the end of your next turn, you can replace any attack roll, saving throw or ability check made by the creature with this roll. You must choose to do so before the roll. The hex ends when the roll is replaced.
Eric: Hell yeah. What does this look like? How do you do this?
Julia: Oh, it's just me reading tea leaves.
Eric: Okay, so like you're in the crowd. And then what do you do?
Julia: Yeah. So in this situation, Cammie would be in the crowd, and then probably just pours themselves a cup of tea and looks at the leaves while Umbi gets ready to do his thing.
Amanda: Julia, may I suggest that you have a little teacup hanging from your belt at all times?
Julia: Oh, right alongside my—my kettle. Yes, of course.
Eric: Yeah. That sounds great. Hey, we'll see, we'll see who ends up drinking in the drink. It could be Umbi, or it could be Hondo.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Alright, wonderful.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright. Well, since I live here, and I said we're gonna play this game, I'm gonna go first. How's that sound, old timer?
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, I was gonna suggest we play root, leaves…
Julia: Rock?
Brandon (as Umbi): And ro—
Eric: Shears?
Brandon (as Umbi):—rock—shears. But you know, youth before beauty, you know?
Eric (as Hondo): Listen, I'm the less ripe one. I gotta—I have to make the move when I need to.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I get it.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright. I can—I can drink the drink in eight questions.
Brandon (as Umbi): Seven.
Eric (as Hondo): I can drink the drink in six questions.
Brandon (as Umbi): Five!
Eric (as Hondo): I can drink the drink in four questions.
Brandon (as Umbi): …Three.
Amanda: Troy leans down to Cammie.
Amanda (as Troy): Do we think that he can like, do this?
Julia (as Cammie): I have never bet against Umbi before, and I think that he's lived longer than literally anyone I've ever known. So I think—
Brandon: Combined
Julia (as Cammie): I think he'll be alright.
Amanda (as Troy): That's true.
Eric: Everyone holds their breath for a moment. After Umbi says three, Hondo looks around, a little smile playing across his incredibly long stick bug face, and says—
Eric (as Hondo): Alright ripe one, I want you to drink the drink.
Eric: And everyone applause and be like, yeaaah!
Brandon: Wooooo!
Julia: Drink the drink!
Eric (as Greenfolk): It's the second phase of the game!
Brandon: I love this. Crowds are so helpful.
Amanda: They are.
Eric (as Greenfolk): This is the only excitement that happened in weeks!
Eric: Everyone's really keyed up for the game that you're playing. Everyone is extra excited that there—that is happening. So, Brandon, you have three actions or questions here, for you to decide which one is the real mug of beer. You have to announce them as questions as you do.
Brandon: Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Um, which one of these is poison?
Brandon: And you see, Umbi sort of like, turn into almost like a dog sniffing for something on the ground. And yeah, I'm gonna use my natural philosopher ability, which means I add half my proficiency bonus rounded up to any ability check I make, to identify herbs, potions, poisons or other alchemical substances.
Eric: Cool. Okay, so your ability score is 2 divided by 1, we'll add 1 to that. You can either do—if you think it's natural, if you think the poison is natural, then do nature. But if not, I would do investigation.
Julia: What do you add to either those, Brandon?
Brandon: I think it's both plus 2, so it doesn't really matter. Um, so I'll do nature.
Eric: Cool. Yeah.
Julia: It'll be plus 2, plus the additional proficiency, or-- so plus 3 total?
Brandon: It'll be— yes, plus 3 total.
Julia: Okay, so you rolled a 12, so you get a 15.
Brandon: Oh, okay. I rolled a 15, Eric.
Eric: Incredible. Wonderful.
Amanda: Julia, is there like a scent of tea on the winds, like how does it play out?
Julia: Yeah, you smell like a hint of vanilla, and also lemon across the bar as Cammie pours herself the tea and looks into the cup. And that's a hint of mint that she adds at the end. And then they swirl to show the number 12, no, I'm kidding. They swirl to show the pint glasses in front of Umbi.
Eric: Yeah, and in the tea, Cammie, you can see that there is a big skull over the one, all the way on the left.
Julia (as Cammie): Not the on—not the one all the way on the left. Grandpa, grandpa.
Brandon: Now just for everyone here at the table, Umbi's hearing isn't actually that bad.
Julia: Yeah I know.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: So, he hears them just fine. But Eric in my notes I'm writing left to right, 1,2,3,4,5. So it's--
Eric: Left to right, yeah, thank you. Left to right 1,2,3,4,5.
Amanda: Guys, deadass, Troy was just going to drink the one on the left. So I'm glad—
Julia: Oh god.
Amanda: —that I didn’t kill my character in episode one.
Julia: I didn't think I would have to heal people in the first episode, but here we are.
Eric: Incredible. Yeah. So the one all the way on the left. The number one is the poisoned one.
Brandon: Great.
Amanda: Nailed it.
Eric: Yeah. The—the smell of vanilla and lemon leads you over to the left one, which immediately smells incredibly acrid, and like, angry in your nose.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, wait, what—what did I do to you?
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Shit.
Amanda: I’m so tickled by Umbi already.
Julia: Shit, Umbi.
Brandon: So I have two more questions left. I think what I'm going to do here is with my knowledge of like potion brewing, and like alchemy and stuff like that, I'd like to pull out some kind of like reagent or some kind of material that I have, and pour it into one of the glasses and see if it reacts, and like if it reacts with seawater a certain way, I'll know it.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: But it won't react that way with-- if it's not seawater.
Eric: Cool. Yeah. Tell me wh—which one you want to pour it into.
Brandon: I would like to pour it into three.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And I would like to roll Arcana if that's possible.
Eric: Yeah, that sounds great. What do you pull out? What does it look like?
Brandon: It's sort of just like a— all of his casings for his bombs look sort of the same, and they're like, not quite glass, but like glass, like kind of clear, but very cloudy and—
Amanda: Oooh like beach glass.
Julia: Oooh.
Eric: Like someone took that stuff and then—
Amanda: It’s been like tumbled in sand.
Eric: Like tumble and mush them together.
Brandon: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. Okay. So all of his like reagents and bombs and stuff are housed in the same thing which is made from sea glass. So sort of like a glass but like very cloudy and mushed together into a certain shape. So this one is sort of just like-- it’s almost like a Pokeball, like you kind of twist it off to hold the thing.
Eric: Is this what—what it is a bomb, and you like took it apart and poured it to one of them?
Julia: Oh, my gosh!
Brandon: Yeah, well, it's more like these are the containers that I have. And then if I want to make a bomb, I can add another small vial—
Eric: Oh sure.
Brandon: —inside of it, that when that one breaks, it reacts, and yeah.
Amanda: Like that drink you got.
Brandon: Like a car bomb.
Amanda: At the BBQ.
Eric: Oh, yeah, it's like putting a— putting a beer inside of a frozen margarita.
Brandon: Yeah, exactly.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Or shot inside of a beer. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, exactly. Hondo says,
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, wait, you gotta take chemicals that you brought from home in order to play my game?
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, this— is this— this is how the game is played by experts, I don't know what you've been doing.
Amanda (as Troy): Oooohhh, damn!
Eric(as Greenfolk): Waaaaaa! He got 'em.
Brandon (as Umbi): Are you under the impression that I hadn't played this game before?
Julia (as Cammie): He's an old, old man.
Amanda (as Troy): Bro, he's been drinking the drink since before you were drank.
Julia (as Cammie): Before you were bigger than a cranberry. I believe he said before.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you. Thank you Cammie. Yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): I've never been knee-high to a cranberry but I respect it. That's fine. Al right.
Eric: The—the all the crowd is like “Aaaaaaaaaaaa! So good!”
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, can you sense folk songs being written about this night?
Julia (as Cammie): I'm already writing one.
Julia: And Cammie like takes out her little fiddle and starts like, [fiddle sound]
Amanda (as Troy): Damn!
Eric: Yeah. So you pour the reagent from your bottle into glass three, it turns clear and then goes to a dark green.
Brandon: Cool. Okay.
Eric: Like a forest. Now roll Arcana to tell me if you know what that means.
Brandon: I got a 9 plus four for 13.
Eric: For a 13. Sure.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Alright, with the dark green, it definitely means that there's stuff floating in this. You know the thing about beer when it's being brewed on an island like this is that, when you add the hops and the grains, and the water, it's not unadulterated with the garbage that is on this island, right? Maybe some sand got in there. Maybe—maybe the water wasn't 100% clean, maybe there was some-- still some salt from whatever sort of like filtering process they have for them to filter the—their clean water into the nectars, and juices and other things that people drink and eats. It definitely seems contaminated by something, but you don't know if it's contaminated by the fact that you're brewing island beer, or that this is the various junk that Jami poured into it. However, I would say it definitely feels like there's some chemical process happening here, in this thing.
Amanda: Sounds promising.
Julia: If it does it to the same one next to it, can you assume that that's the salt water and not the beer?
Brandon: Yes.
Julia: Cool. I feel like I'm doing a logic problem here.
Brandon: I know. So that's actually what I was going to do next, Eric, was do the same thing, pour it into the glass to the right, number four.
Eric: Alright, poured into number four.
Julia: The question is, is this one the same?
Eric (as Hondo): The rules of the game says if you're gonna do the same thing, and you do need to announce it again.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, sorry. I'm doing the same thing, is this one the same?
Eric: Hell yeah. Do another Arcana check.
Brandon: I got 13 plus four for 17.
Eric: 17, this one goes clear, and then goes to a dark purple, which means that there is some colored dye added to this drink.
Julia: Aaaah.
Amanda: Oooh.
Julia: So I think he got the right one with a third one.
Eric: Purple means that yellow six is in this drink.
Brandon: Okay. So four, five, and two are the seawater.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Three is the beer. Okay, so I'm gonna look at Hondo and say
Brandon (as Umbi): Double drink?
Eric (as Hondo): Double what?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, you don't know the—oh, you would—you’ve been playing the watered-down version?
Amanda: Oohhh!
Julia: Ohh shit.
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, I'm sorry. What—your good. What is the double drink rule say?
Brandon (as Umbi): A double drink is we both pick a cup, I pick first because I did the questions. And then we drink at the same time. It's like the like— it's like the—the ripe plant's version of the game?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, damn, he just called him young, but like rudely.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): So you have to take a guess of like, I know what cup I'm taking. And I'll take it first, so you get that one off the board. So you have a slightly less chance but you don't get to ask any questions.
Eric (as Hondo): Okay. Well, how about in response, if we're going to double drink, not only am I going to tell you where the temple is, but you can sleep in my guest room. But if I win, then I'm gonna get to sleep on your ship. And you're gonna show me all the cool stuff that's in there.
Julia (as Cammie): I love visitors. Oh my goodness, this is gonna be so much fun.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, oh, no!
Julia (as Cammie): What?!
Brandon (as Umbi): What a horrible thing.
Amanda (as Troy): I want all of their weird-smelling tea to myself.
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, I want to see what's on your cool pirate ship and all the secrets you have there. I'm sure you have doublooms scattered around. I'm sure you have a piece of amber too that I definitely won't be stealing.
Julia (as Cammie): You can meet Harold!
Amanda (as Troy): Dude, you’re gonna love Harold.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh my god.
Eric (as Hondo): I gotta meet Harold, that sounds great. And if you win—
Amanda (as Troy): I bet.
Eric (as Hondo): —you can sleep on real beds, in my real house with a real roof.
Julia (as Cammie): Hmm. I haven't done that in a while.
Amanda (as Troy): When you say it that way—
Brandon (as Umbi): I feel like—well, we can figure that out later. Oh, you got yourself a deal.
Brandon: And I put one of my hands out to shake hands.
Eric: He puts out a big sticky hands. Get it, because he's a stick? And he puts it out and shakes one time hard.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uhh, so sticky. Get it, because you're stick?
Eric (as Hondo): Not the first time I've heard that. Alright, well you choose.
Brandon: And Umbi picks up glass three.
Eric: Alright. Hondo makes a big deal like turning towards the ground and being like
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, he picked three. Hmm.
Eric: And then he gets like really close to all of them. He looks at them, and he does make some big show of it.
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, I wonder which one I'm going to pick.
Eric: And he grabs number five.
Julia: Okay. I was a little concerned that he was gonna grab number one.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I was gonna have to knock it out of his hand.
Amanda: Billy Joellee is playing the Prelude to Angry Young Man in the corner.
Eric: [mimics Angry Young Man on piano]
Brandon: Angry young—
Eric: Plant. It's Angry Young Plant.
Amanda: Plants. It's Angry Young Plant.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: You're right. Fuck.
Brandon: Okay. Angry Young Plant.
Amanda: Fuck.
Eric: It said—
Amanda: I'll be better.
Eric: Yeah. Dramatic piano happening in the background, as both of you hold your mug—hold your mugs up and Hondo says,
Eric (as Hondo): Drink the drink!
Brandon (as Umbi): How do we cheers in Esca? It's changed over the years.
Eric (as Hondo): Well, why don't we do the traditional one? To live and die before the sea devil decides for us.
Brandon (as Umbi): To live and die before the sea devil decides for us.
Brandon: And they clink mugs.
Eric: Clink. Hondo throws his mug back.
Brandon: And Umbi does too.
Eric: And Umbi, it is that good, sweet, cloudy muggy beer that you— that you were drinking earlier.
Amanda: Yaaay!
Julia: Oh, nice.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): So sticky, so good.
Eric: And Hondo goes
Eric: [coughs] Spits seawater water all over everyone else, as everyone the entire bar cheers for Umbi.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can't hold your seawater, can you?
Eric (as Hondo): [coughs] You shouldn't do that. Everyone knows you shouldn't [coughs] Even for a bet, it's not [coughs] it's not worth it.
Amanda (as Troy): Did Jami do too many drink the drinks and lose. Is that why his voice like that?
Eric (as Jami): No, this is just how I sound.
Amanda (as Troy): My bad.
Eric (as Jami): It's okay, it's penance for what I said earlier.
Amanda: Thanks.
Eric: Yup. Hondo says.
Eric (as Hondo): [coughs] Alright, alright, that sounds about right. Why don't everybody— these pirate Greenfolk are alright by us. Why don't you uh—let's all drink together. Hang out here and you can—you can sleep in my house for probably the first time in a bed that hasn't been rolling from side to side in I don't know how many weeks for you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks. Hey, Hondo, good game. I had a great time, no hard feelings.
Eric (as Hondo): No hard feelings.
Brandon (as Umbi): I wouldn't have let you drink the poison, I knew which one it was.
Eric (as Hondo): I very much appreciate that. And if we ever get into a situation where I'm lea— where you are leading yourself into a death area, hopefully, I can return the favor.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks.
Julia (as Cammie): Speaking of death areas, where's the temple?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hondo): That's a good question. I guess it's kind of— it's a few miles outside of town. I can lead you there tomorrow. We'll get an early start, it's a little bit of a trek and then there's terrible trials and then we'll get there.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, wow!
Julia (as Cammie): Fun!
Eric (as Hondo): The regular stuff you know.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay. The regular terrible trials.
Eric (as Hondo): The regular terrible trial, you know?
Brandon (as Umbi): Not like the super terrible trials?
Eric (as Hondo): No, not—it's not out of the ordinary, it's kind of run of the mill.
Julia (as Cammie): Unspeakable horrors?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh yeah—when we get-- I dunno. I haven't done the trials since I was a-- Since I was stick high to a cranberry, so.
Brandon (as Umbi): Unspeakable horrors, I've had a few.
Eric (as Hondo): Again, while I'm speaking about them now they're not unspeakable.
Julia (as Cammie): Ohh, alright, alright.
Eric (as Hondo): It's not horrible, it's not horrible. It's—it's they're—they're fine. It's fine. It's fine.
Amanda (as Troy): That’s good man.
Julia (as Cammie): Quite disappointing, but that's alright.
Amanda (as Troy): This line of work, man, that's a great day at work.
Brandon (as Umbi): Is there any food here? Is there anything to eat?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, absolutely. Let's uh— Jami, why don't you put the soup on and give one to—give them a hearty bowl to each one of our uh—
Brandon (as Umbi): Hell yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): –to each one of our new pirate friends.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks man, And Jami, Hondo’s next drink, on me.
Eric (as Jami): A round for the whole bar for new friends!
Amanda (as Troy): No, no, no, no, no, no.
Eric (as Greenfolk): Waaaaa! New friends!
Julia (as Cammie): That's very generous of you, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, who's gonna cover me?
Brandon: And then for the next three hours, Troy walks around the bar slowly pickpocketing everyone for the amount of one drink.
Amanda: Troy's washing dishes, paying off his debt. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Jami says–
Eric (as Jami): [grumbles] You shouldn’t have said you had no doublooms.
Eric: Wonderful. Yeah, I think for the next few hours, I'll drink with the folks, I think umm, hmm, would you like to try to overhear what people are saying? Or do—would you like to push yourself into conversation?
Julia (as Cammie): I'm—I'm not very good at pushing myself into conversations. But I would love to overhear maybe I'll send Nonny out. Nonny can go and shlip shlurp to the tables and see if she can hear anything interesting.
Eric: Yeah, we'll give you a—you can take a perception check.
Julia: Great!
Eric: What about you two?
Brandon: I think that I'm gonna go around and telling everyone–
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, my old friend!
Eric: Great.
Brandon: And see if it works ever.
Eric: Sure, sure, sure.
Amanda: Yeah. I think Troy's just gonna sit at the end of the bar and keep spinning his perhaps one doubloom around and around, trying to overhear.
Eric: Wonderful. Uh, Umbi, you're not gonna roll for anything, you just ingratiate yourself to everyone, and everyone loves what you're doing. That sounds great. And yeah, why don't you do—Cammie and Troy, why don't y'all do-- both do perception checks?
Julia: I rolled a 13 + 2.
Eric: Wonderful. 15.
Amanda: I do have a natural 1.
Julia: You're just really into the tricks that you're doing with that coin, and you're like so focused on making sure you don't drop it and looking cool.
Brandon: And the coin flips up and hits you in the eye. Oh, man is Amanda officially the bad roller y'all?
Eric: We'll see.
Brandon: First Nat 1 of the game.
Eric: First Nat of the game.
Brandon: Is Amanda’s!
Amanda: First roll, first one. Yeah.
Eric: Troy Riptide, while you're sitting at the bar, Jami says, well here we go with the nat one. Jami asks you for the covering everyone's money, and you don't have money so you have to wash dishes in the back.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Which is why you don't hear anything.
Amanda: Got it. Fair.
Eric: But Jami, as Jami takes another pile of bowls and drops it into the big—to the big sink that splashes soap up into your face.
Eric (as Jami): Oh, so you’re sleeping at Hondo's place aren't you?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. No, that's—that's what he said, really decent of him.
Eric (as Jami): I mean, he goes really wonderful beds, I've slept over there before. But you just can't get any sleep because of the sungulls.
Amanda (as Troy): The what now?
Eric (as Jami): Oh you know, the sungulls, you know, they are the birds that fly around, look like sunflowers, incredibly loud, and are attracted to light. Yeah, Hondo was a very large light that he keeps because he says he keeps away intruders, and the sungulls are attracted to it. So I hope that'll keep you up.
Amanda (as Troy): That's a really good tip. Is there a way to like placate them? Do they like, like stuff? Do they— are they afraid of something?
Julia: Do they like stuff, is a really good question.
Amanda (as Troy): Besides the big—the big sun, you know.
Eric (as Jami): No, they pretty much just like the thing that they think is the sun.
Amanda (as Troy): No. Sure. Sure.
Eric (as Jami): Oh, also you—the last one you cleaned is clean enough.
Eric: He throws a bunch of mugs in the water.
Amanda (as Troy): Ah, shit. My bad, my bad man.
Eric (as Jami): Don't rush, okay? Only 200 more pieces of silverware to go.
Amanda (as Troy): Yep. Again, told you I didn't have—Okay. Yep.
Eric (as Jami): I'll see you later. Goodbye.
Amanda (as Troy): Troy Riptide!
Eric (as Jami): Alright, Troy Riptide.
Julia: Troy Riptide.
Eric: With a 15, Cammie, after a few hours, Nonny comes back to you and crawls back into the teapot.
Julia (as Cammie): Hello my sweet little thing.
Eric (as Nonny): Prrrrrr!
Julia (as Cammie): Tell me more.
Eric: And Nonny says that a few people said that they saw the ship of Audrey The Rotten Queen around these parts. And they were making special note of it, and trying to keep away from it. They thought that it was just a, you know, a cloud passing over the sun. And they thought it was the trick of the eye, and they saw the ripped sailss and rotted—rotted sailors upon the deck. And a 12—and a 12-year-old girl sitting at the bow, which can only mean it is Audrey the Rotten Queen. And hold on, this is a special breaking report here at Join the Party News. Hello, This is Eric Silver. I stole this NPC from Julia.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: She came up with it during a Party Planning and I said I would steal it, and Julia said fine, but I need to say that I did steal it from Julia because it's tight as hell.
Julia: Thank you. Thank you,
Amanda: Well I was gonna say, it's sad that Julia only lasted one episode of Campaign Three because she defected to go join Audrey the Rotten Queen.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: That makes total sense.
Julia: Eric, may I do a history check to see what I know about Audrey the Rotten Queen?
Eric: Sure.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Tight as hell.
Julia: That's only a six. I don't remember anything about her.
Eric: Audrey isn't necessarily something to remember. There have been, of course, ghost pirates, is a tradition in the legend. But Audrey is relatively recent. But word on the street, word on the sea, is that a 12-year-old Daffodil girl found a cursed artifact, which caused her to be possessed by an evil goddess who now commanded her and her rotten crew.
Amanda: Classic.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: So that night after a bunch of carousing, Jami keeps everyone out.
Eric (as Jami): You know I have Pilates in the morning, get out.
Eric: And kicks everyone out of the Sitting Spot, and Hondo takes you back to his place.
Julia (as Cammie): How does that work if she's a tomato.
Brandon (as Umbi): Sitting Spot, more like the Gettin’ Spot. Get Out Spot. What did you say Cammie?
Julia (as Cammie): Nothing.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh guys, by the way, Jami told me that there's a bunch of sungulls at Hondo's place and really loud so—
Eric (as Hondo): Sungulls? I don't have Sungulls, I don't know what Jami is telling you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Amanda(as Troy): Ohh.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay. Do you have a big light that—that brings them in?
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, I do, to keep away intruders. But uh, you know, we all have sungulls, it's not my thing. Everyone has sungulls!
Amanda (as Troy): No, no, no, of course.
Eric (as Hondo): I'm gonna give that tomato a piece of my mind.
Amanda (as Troy): No, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet.
Eric: He charges… he tries to charge back towards the bar.
Amanda (as Troy): Listen, last—last thing I like is creating drama between bruvs. I—I really sorry to do that. I just— I have a fear. It's just— it's a me thing. We don't have a lot of them out in the Crags. And I just you know, I was— I was feeling a little nervous about it. I should ask you instead of just repeating gossip. That— that's on me, man.
Amanda: And then I do a little shoulder bump, bro back pat.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright, that's fine. I definitely need to tell him that he needs to keep my name out of his red ketchupy mouth.
Amanda (as Troy): Fair.
Julia: It's so hard to tell what's an insult in this world.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright. Well, listen, I have a bunk room upstairs for when people come through, from when my family visits. You know, lots of nieces and nephews and cousins and stuff. So this is like a bunch of-- you can grab whatever is upstairs.
Amanda (as Troy): Fucking love family, bro.
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, families, I love. Family and the people of Esca, and now all of you. I love you all very much. I drank so much tonight.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hey, we love you too.
Julia (as Cammie): Would you like some tea before you go to bed?
Eric (as Hondo): Absolutely not. No, thank you.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Hondo): I'm just gonna get up in the morning, eat a bunch of raw eggs and I'm fine.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, what—what kind of eggs you like the best?
Eric (as Hondo): The big ones?
Julia: Sungull eggs.
Eric (as Hondo): We have a coupe of, you know of bird wo—of bird woods over there. And they put up fresh eggs.
Eric: It's a pun on dog-wood.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Wow!
Brandon: I thought you were gonna say hen of the woods.
Julia: Yeah, chicken of the woods.
Eric: Yeah, but I couldn't think that fast, Brandon.
Amanda: That’s fair.
Eric: Yeah. So yeah, he leads you to his house. All the houses in Esca are very simple. Again, they've just kind of been thrown together in the way that boom towns are that are run by the pirate economy. A town springs up and they make a house as quickly as possible. This one is we've seen it's pretty well constructed, it’s made-- and does have a second level. Just like— it's kind of just like a loft. And there's a little skylight. You know like a little, you know, one of those half-moon skylights that just kind of look out on the sea.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric: And then yeah, then he leads you upstairs. It's homey. It's— it's kind of sweet and sparse in there. Just like a big chair in the living room, and a fireplace and his bed is over—is over on the left. Just like this was a— this was a one-story house and he leads you to the second story which he kind of maybe he built up. You walk up the narrow stairs and there's just like a bunch of— a bunch of mattresses thrown everywhere. There's like a triple bunk bed, and he’s like,
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, you can all sleep up there. Hope you enjoy it, and I'll come grab you in the morning.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks, Hondo.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, man.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.
Eric (as Hondo): Absolutely. Have a good—have a good sleep. Whoops, I almost fell down the stairs.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Eric (as Hondo): Um, so I drink so much guys.
Julia (as Cammie): Are you sure you don't want tea?
Eric (as Hondo): No, no, no, no, absolutely not. I got my own thing. That's fine.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, that's fine.
Amanda (as Troy): Bros give bros hands.
Brandon (as Umbi): Watch out for the saltwater tonight, by the way.
Eric (as Hondo): I love the saltwater in my pillow in the next 10 seconds, I'm going to be fine. I fall asleep-- just so you know, I fall asleep so fast, and I sleep really hard.
Brandon (as Umbi): Me too!
Julia (as Cammie): That explains the sungulls. okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright. Yeah. Right—right on.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright. Good night.
Brandon (as Umbi): Goodnight.
Eric (as Hondo): Ope! Hold on, I fell down the-- I almost fell down the stairs again.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh gosh. You sure you don't want a hand?
Eric (as Hondo): No, I'm getting it.
Eric: He likes— he’s feeling his way down the stairs. And you three are left in Hondo's bunk room.
Julia (as Cammie): I'd like the middle bunk.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't want to climb up the ladder, so I'll take the bottom.
Amanda (as Troy): That's fine.
Amanda: And Troy like vaults himself up to the top.
Eric: I know the three of you are adorable, but this-- imagine a room full of mattresses and the three of you—
Brandon: Eric, we know.
Eric: Decided to sleep—
Amanda: We know.
Julia: You said there was a triple bunk bed, what are we supposed to do?
Brandon: We know what we're doing.
Amanda: Yeah, we know what we're doing.
Eric: Okay. Absolutely.
Amanda: Troy is taking the top bunk as a sniper nest so that if anything happens he can crossbow at an enemy.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Right and— and Cammie is in the middle, so if anything happens they can buff the both of you. It's all good.
Eric: Absolutely.
Brandon: And Umbi is asleep.
Amanda and Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yes. As the sounds of Umbi snoring come up through the bunk bed, Troy sticks his head, like hangs down comically like an older sibling at Christmas, like looking down at their younger sibling.
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, do you think one of us should like keep watch or anything? Is this like a safe scenario?
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, I can put Nonny out to see you know, she doesn't really need to sleep, so--
Amanda (as Troy): If she's cool with it. Thanks Nons.
[Eric makes octopus noises]
Julia: Yeah, then Cammie very gently knocks on the tea kettle that she's put next to her on the pillow on the bed being like–
Julia (as Cammie): Do you mind watching tonight?
Eric: And you just see like the top of the octopus head pushes the top of the tea kettle up and then just two octopus eyes looking out.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you, my sweet princess.
Eric (as Nonny): Prrrrr!
Amanda: My favorite character is Nonny.
Eric: Incredible. And as you all go down to sleep, I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw and Troy has disadvantage.
Amanda: Great, with disadvantage, I got 19.
Julia: Wow!
Eric: Woah, shit.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I rolled a 14.
Eric: 14.
Brandon: What did you roll twice, Amanda?
Amanda: 17 and then an 18 + 2.
Julia: Damn!
Eric: Oh my god.
Brandon: I rolled a 19 + 1 for a non-nat 20.
Julia: Ayee.
Eric: Non-nat 20, Jesus Christ.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: Alright. Immediately—immediately, Umbi and Troy— Amanda in my head, Troy is like because this happened to me at summer camp, like kids would be talking to you. And then in the middle of a sentence, they'd like be asleep.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Like that's what Troy does?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You'd be like, oh yeah this was such a fun night, I really [snores]
Amanda: Yeah, exactly.
Eric: And then you hear, [sungull caws loudly] Cammie, it is so loud. And then you hear bump, as one of them hits the window.
Amanda: Nooo!
Eric: And then go [sungull caws loudly] Cammie, I'm gonna give you a decision.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-huh?
Eric: What is your HP?
Julia (as Cammie): 22.
Eric: 22. Cammie because of your terrible night of sleep, you can either remove 10 HP.
Brandon: Whoa.
Eric: Or, I am going to impose disadvantage on you once whenever I want.
Brandon: Woof.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Because either you like— do you spend all night trying to find a way to plug your ears, which is you sleeping badly which is your HP or you try to just like tune it out and there's nothing you can do, and you sleep badly in that other way which is the disadvantage and being less sharp?
Julia: Can I try to do like a spell thing against these gulls, or the cause of the gulls which is this bright light?
Eric: You can do whatever you want, but you I—this is because you failed the roll, you have to do it.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: But feel free to do this anyway.
Julia: I mean I have a cantrip that's called Eye of Anubis, which just lets me shoot necrotic damage out of my eye. So I think Cammie just opens the window, closes one eye and just starts shooting birds down.
Eric: Yeah, I think that you spend way too much time doing it, new ones keep showing up.
Amanda: And then it’s light outside and you’re like, shit.
Eric: Yeah, and then it’s light out when you get the last one. So either you take 10 damage or I get to impose disadvantage on you once whenever I want.
Julia: Alright, you can impose disadvantage on me once.
Eric: Hell yeah, dude.
Amanda: Damn.
Eric: Cammie, as you open the window and you're shooting necrotic damage beams through your eyes [laughs] at the sun gulls all night. You think you see illuminating a main sail about 5000 feet off of the island of Esca. You think you see in the low light far away the image of a flower growing out of the ground, but it's been cut in half with like a clear delineation between the top half and the bottom half of the flower. Like a big space in between the two. And two red X's where the eyes of the flower would be.
Julia: (as Cammie): Uh-oh. Uh.
Eric (as Audrey, the Rotten Queen): Audrey, the Rotten Queen, is going to find her treasure.
Eric: But maybe you just imagined it and you were tired.
[theme]