What do you do with a devil’s challenge? What do you do with a devil’s challenge? What do you do with a devil’s challenge early in the morning?
Dive into the classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, the Traditions mechanics, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plants and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a Salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Troy, Umbi, and Cammie arrived on Esca Island, where they hear, there's a pretty easy treasure to grab. They walk into the only bar in town, which mildly tolerates the presence of pirates. Town leader Hondo challenges them to a local dangerous drinking game, Drink the Drink, wagering a place to stay, and navigation to the treasure at the Sea Devil’s Temple. Umbi takes it up, avoiding all poisoned chalices and winds while not really hearing what exactly was going on. The crew crashes at Hondo's place, but Cammie is kept up all night by Sungulls squawking outside. Unable to sleep, she looks out onto the sea and swears she sees the zombie ship of Audrey, The Rotten Queen. But maybe not. Let's all go to the Shrine of the Sea Devil where you’ve got to put three pieces of the shrine together in the right order, and it's really hard for children to do, and it's just Styrofoam spray painted silver. And we'll get the party started.
Julia: I think it's a type of tree like a birch.
Amanda: Do you think it's like a—like a root vegetable?
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Like nothing's above the ground, but just the root?
Eric: Yeah, it's a tuber. Yeah, it's a tuber.
Brandon: I just think it's a misspelling. I think it was supposed to say like what's the “S”, let's see, Chrysanthemum? I don't know.
Eric: Nice, Brandon.
Julia: Sassafras? Sassafras maybe, I don't know.
Brandon: Sassafras?
Amanda: Ohhhh.
Eric: Episode 2, buy breakfast with Hondo. Okay, so two out of three of you are sleeping soundly.
Amanda (as Troy): I always sleep soundly, bruh. What’s there to worry about?
Eric: Nothing, just get those zzzs, gotta get those eight hours.
Amanda: Gotta catch those zzzs
Eric: Gotta catch them all. And by all, I mean zzzs.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Troy is speaking into the mirror.
Amanda: Yeah. Doing a little gun show with his little butterfly arms.
Eric: Yes. Troy is up on his own volition, looking in the mirror. Remind me, Brandon, what does Umbi like when he sleeps?
Brandon: Like a fucking concrete mixer.
Eric: Is Umbi in the room with us?
Brandon: Ohh, no, Umbi is gone because Brandon doesn't want to destroy his voice first thing in the morning.
Eric: Okay, okay. Amanda, can I do a, a loud snoring noise, and you won't be upset because it will bring you back to hard times?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: [snores loudly]
Brandon: Yep.
Eric: [snores] Like that?
Brandon: Yep, exactly.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Nailed it.
Julia: I really appreciate that the exhale kind of sounds like a horse.
Brandon: Yeah.
[Everyone shushes]
Eric: Yeah. And Julia, what is Cammie been doing? Does Cammie have like a counting trick? like, how many sheep jumping over a fence?
Julia: No, I think Cammie is more of like a meditation kind of plant where—
Eric: Sure.
Julia: —they're probably just like you know, criss cross applesauce on their bed being like—
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, maybe if you listen to the sound of the waves, that will lull you to sleep.
Julia: [Sungulls squawking] Outside.
Eric: There's a 30 second period where there isn't caw and then you hear [Sungulls squawking]
Brandon: And then like it's quiet for 30 seconds so that there's one literally next to your left ear.
Julia (as Cammie): It's all nature, nature is a part of us even though it is keeping me very, very awake right now, and that's fine. It's fine, everything's fine.
Eric: Canonically now, Brandon has generated with his mind, there is a Sungull now inside, it got in through the window.
Julia: And that's very funny because Cammie does not open her eyes at all to look at the Sungull that is directly squawking in their ears. But all of a sudden, you hear kind of like a choking sound, and it's because Nonny has wrapped her little seaweed tentacles around its throat, and is just like stop it, stop it, stop it.
Eric: [Nonny gurgling noise] That's like when you hear your water boiling angrily because you turned it up too high and you left it there.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah, exactly the sound.
Eric: Incredible. Yeah, I think it's early morning just a little bit after sunrise, and you hear a knock at the attic door. And you hear—
Eric (as Hondo): Is ever one decent? We should get a move on if we're gonna get to the temple today.
Brandon: Well, because it's morning and Umbi's a 100 million years old, he's been awake for seven hours already.
Julia: Are he and Cammie just like talking in the corner, like very low voices so they don't wake up Troy who I imagined sleeps like a college student?
Brandon: Well, that's the thing is I—I assumed Troy sleeps like college student, so we don't have to be quiet, probably.
Julia: Oh, yeah, true, true.
Amanda: No, you can do whatever. Nonny can like, hang out on top of Troy's chest and he's just like sprawled out, limbs falling over the side of the bed, happy as a clam.
Eric: Wait, did I just do really terrible snoring foley for no reason?
Brandon: No.
Julia: It was for earlier in the night.
Eric: Oh, okay.
Amanda: Earlier, yeah, yeah. That's a flashback.
Eric: Wait, when did Troy get up to look in the mirror?
Amanda: That was a flash forward.
Eric: Oh okay. Okay, that's later on. Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. And as soon as people are ready, someone just you know, like knocks on his boot or something, and he's like [starts awake], ready to go.
Eric: I love the idea that Troy sleeps in his shoes.
Julia: Shoes on, yeah.
Amanda: Oh, Troy like, peels back the cover of the bed and he is fully dressed and ready for action. He springs up, he's like–
Amanda (as Troy): Ready for the day, man.
Julia: You can't be surprised if you're always prepared.
Brandon: That's true. That's Troy's slogan that he has on a button that he wears.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey uh, hey, Cammie?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah?
Amanda (as Troy): That's profound.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, thank you, Troy. I think I read it in the book.
Amanda (as Troy): Did you just like, think of that?
Julia (as Cammie): No, I think I read it in a book somewhere.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, word.
Julia (as Cammie): Actually, you know what, now I remember where I read it. It was carved into a table at a tavern that I was at, and I really took it to heart.
Amanda (as Troy): That's like a really long carving.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): I usually just say “Riptide”.
Julia (as Cammie): I love that for you.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks.
Eric: Cammie, I want to do a flashback really quickly.
Julia: Hmm?
Eric: What—what action is going on around you while you're looking at that table?
Julia: Oh, Cammie is fully just like sipping a cup of tea while a full bar brawl is happening around her.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. She's like, ooh, wow, that is really long to write with a knife and carve it to the table. It's a good sentiment though.
Eric: And then three Greenfolk fly across the table, and destroy all the mugs.
Julia: Cammie just very gently moves her teacup out of the way, as they slide across her table. She's like—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, no, no, no.
Brandon: She just like lifts it up, and they like slide under it.
Julia: Exactly.
Amanda: Can we have real, like parent of 10 kids energy? Just like, hmm this is fine. They're all alive, it's fine.
Julia (as Cammie): Sometimes you just need a moment of peace to yourself, and that's what a cup of tea is.
Brandon: Well, Eric, it's important that I brought this up because I did want to make sure that you knew as our DM that I was awake making bombs. So I had them prepped for the rest of the day.
Julia: Naturally, naturally.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: I assume you're always awake making bombs, both Umbi and Brandon.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: CIA, get 'em. Move in, move in, move in.
Brandon: So according to my class, I can only make a number of bombs that is 10 + 2 times my level, I believe?
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: I can't find it right now with my boss, but I believe that's what I read. So I just want to make sure that that is for the listener, for the rulebook, what I'm doing at all times when I'm awake.
Eric: I assume that if you're not in a precarious situation, everyone is prepped. If you're in a precarious situation you—you might need to say so.
Brandon: Well, I just want to say that for the first time and I'll probably never say it again.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: Love the idea that Troy is simply sleeping through acrid chemical sense gunpowder, perhaps some you know tester explosions out toward the Sungulls, and he's just snoozing away.
Julia: It's really balanced out by the smell of tea, so I think that's the goal here.
Amanda: Yeah, it's true.
Brandon: Julia, is it gunpowder green tea, is not a tea of green that is called?
Julia: Wooooo! Yes it is, that is a type of tea.
Eric: It's fat-washed. There's ghee in it, there's ghee in Verda Stello. Oh yeah, so Hondo says–
Eric (as Hondo): Is everyone, is everyone decent? Can I come in?
Amanda: Troy springs out of the top bunk fully dressed.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, well Troy is fully dressed. So yes, everyone's decent.
Amanda (as Troy): Always.
Julia (as Cammie): Never—never unclothed, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Nah. That’s how they get ya.
Eric: Yeah, Hondo moves the attic door and comes on up into the loft here and says—
Eric (as Hondo): Alright, folks, I'm making breakfast soon. So I got hen of the woods eggs, I can make up in the–whatever way you want. Yeah, so just get your stuff ready. Oh, we're doing—who—which of you is a—which of you is a bombster?
Brandon (as Umbi): Melon, I want melon. For breakfast.
Eric (as Hondo): I can, we can– yeah. I can see if I have a— if we have a melon sitting around. Do you have a preference of color?
Brandon (as Umbi): The—the blandest one.
Eric (as Hondo): Good, they're all bland. Which uh, which of you is making bombs? I just I— honestly, I don't care. It's more of a personal interest of mine. Which of you is a—which of you is a bombster?
Brandon: You see Umbi look up, and with his face covered in like powder, looks around at Troy. He looks around at Cam, and is like–
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, it's me.
Eric: Oh, okay.
Julia: Cammie was like fully ready to be like–
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, I am.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy was like—
Amanda (as Troy): Are we not supposed to say Umbi's name?
Eric: It’s just very funny.
Amanda: Eric has it acclimated to our shenanigans yet.
Eric: I'm just enjoying, I'm just enjoying this particular brand of this particular brand of shenanigans.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright, what are you—what are you two do? What's your two—what's your two thing?
Julia (as Cammie): I make tea, would you like some?
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah. No, you can do that. Yeah, we have a—a hot, we have a hot pot down here. We can if that help for you, yeah, definitely.
Julia (as Cammie): Wonderful. Oh, by the way, you did say last night you don't have Sungulls.
Eric (as Hondo): No.
Julia: And then Cammie points to the strangled outside Sungull that's on her bed currently.
Julia (as Cammie): You do! Just as a forewarning for– for future guests.
Amanda (as Troy): Ah, nice! Nonny got one.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah! It was fully in the room, that's how Nonny got it. [Nonny purrs] Good job, baby.
[Pleased gurgling Nonny noises]
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, I know I will look at it. I have future guests, when future guests stay here, I'll make sure not to tell them that I don't have Sungulls because I do. There was a lot going on last night. I was more I— I guess I do have Sungulls, but I was more upset that people were saying I didn't. So I'm obstinate when I'm challenged late at night.
Brandon (as Umbi): And you were smashed!
Eric (as Hondo): That's true. I was as well. Thank you, sir.
Amanda (as Troy): He—hey man?
Amanda: And then Troy walks over, puts a hand on his shoulder.
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Wasn't a problem for me.
Eric (as Hondo): Troy, I appreciate you, and I'll have— write me a review in my guest book.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, and I'm a—I'm the sharpshooter in the—on the open seas so.
Amanda: And he gestures over his shoulder to his quiver of crossbow bolts, which again he fully slept in.
Eric: Amanda, are you— is this the wish fulfillment, because you slept with the wrong pillow two nights ago and your neck hurt for three days?
Amanda: Yes, Eric. [laughs] Am I going to physical therapy for having a back that can no longer sit in regular chairs? Yes.
Julia: Wooo!
Eric: Hondo makes a smirking faces says–
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, we have the sharpest shooter on the open seas here. Well, I didn't know we were around such royalty.
Amanda (as Troy): I can show you if you want.
Eric (as Hondo): Please, I would love to.
Eric (as Cammie): Troy, there are so many Sungulls outside, they would make a great target.
Amanda: Yeah. And Troy gets down on one knee, gets out his crossbow, and shoots one through the open window, not to kill a Sungull, but to pierce a feather off of the very tip of one of its wings.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: Alright, make an attack roll.
Amanda: First attack roll of the campaign baby!
Julia: Let’s go!
[dice roll]
Amanda: That's a dirty 20.
Julia: Oh my gosh.
Brandon: Dang.
Eric: Hell yeah. Because you're a trickshot gunslinger. I feel like even with a dirty 20, do you hit some– does this ricochet off of something else as you do it?
Amanda: I do something called Creative Trajectory, which lets my attacks ignore half-cover. So I'd like to think that the bolt does a little ver—a little jump at the very end, right? Where like the sungull like takes a sharp left and so does the bolts.
Julia: Incredible. So freaking cool.
Eric: This is a trick of the eye. No, I think 100%, the sungull’s at half cover being behind a picture window, which is barely open.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Or the bolt even like nudges open the window a little more, and then—and then shoots that out.
Eric: Okay. It slides through the cracks of the open window and unhooks the hook that's holding the whole window only slightly ajar, fully opens, pins one of the sungulls by the feather to the side of the house it goes, [Sungulls Squawking] and then everyone scatters. And they all come in through the picture window into the—
Julia: Oh no.
Eric: —into the wall.
[Sungulls squawking]
Amanda (as Troy): Fallback, fallback.
Eric (as Hondo): Everyone get out. It’s their– it’s their room now! Just go, go, go!
Julia: What?
Amanda: Troy like's—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, I'll meet you outside.
Amanda: And goes back out the window to retrieve the bolts and– Yeah.
Eric: Through the sungulls?
Amanda: Yeah, he's fine.
Brandon: Incredible.
Julia: I'm sure he is.
Eric: You're just like you're just breastroking doing three of the sungulls?
Amanda (as Troy): I’m a young man, I'm never gonna die.
Julia: I’m a little concerned that half our party is like, who cares if I die, man, I'm not gonna die.
Eric: Incredible. Alright as Troy is breastroking through the sungulls getting his stuff together. You close the door, you just hear the low sound of [sungulls squawking]. And yeah, Umbi and Cammie, you can go down to breakfast. Hondo is—has stumbled over to his kind of like makeshift refrigerator. It's more like an icebox, more than anything else. Just like a big metal box open up with giant chunks of ice in it. And some really fresh eggs of like, various different colors. Various shades of brown and green, and one is like, speckled which is really cool. And he takes them out he's like–
Eric (as Hondo): Alright, how do you—how do you like your eggs?
Brandon (as Umbi): With melon!
Eric (as Hondo): Well, I got that. What—any type of eggs with melon?
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't really want the eggs, I just want melon.
Eric (as Hondo): Okay, eggs and melon hold the eggs, got it.
Julia (as Cammie): I bet Troy would love his eggs. Troy as a growing young boy after all. I would love a scramble perhaps?
Eric (as Hondo): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): That would be lovely.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright fo—so the eggs that was going to the old guy, goes to the young guy, so he gets twice as many eggs, and a scramble for the tea lady got it?
Julia (as Cammie): Yes, please.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy likes them raw.
Eric: Now—now Umbi, and this is your DM speaking, is that a prank?
Brandon: I don't know Amanda, is it a prank?
Julia: Troy probably does, honestly.
Amanda: He probably wouldn't notice, but it's not preferred. So absolutely lean into it, Brandon.
Eric: I feel like that's a prank. If I've ever heard a prank before, that's a prank for me. Give me a Deception Roll really quickly.
Brandon: 15.
Eric: Hey, this—
Julia: Pretty good.
Eric: —this guy doesn't know you.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright. Four—four raw eggs for—for the boy. Melon for the old guy, scrambled for the tea lady, on it.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.
Eric (as Hondo): Absolutely.
Julia (as Cammie): And while you're cooking, what can I prepare for you, tea-wise? Like, what ails you today?
Eric (as Hondo): You know, I fix everyone's stuff, so all my joints are bad, especially because they are brittle, like sticks, and bugs. So all the— all the— all the places where things are connected, not good for me. They're not good.
Julia (as Cammie): I know just what to make.
Julia: And then Cammie goes about making a cup of green tea, with a little bit of like, ginger, and nettle and cinnamon, and serves that up in exchange for the dish that she's about to receive.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Delicious.
Eric: So here's an interesting question for you Cammie. Like I—I know here in the human world, tea has healing properties. But here on the— Verda Stello, you are literally a magician.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So is this cup of tea, does it have quote-unquote, “Healing magic in it?”
Julia: I think there's certain stuff that Cammie does where it is literal healing magic in their tea.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And I think there is tea that has herbal medicine properties that, you know, do provide certain treatment for certain ailments, right? So—
Eric: Oh, okay. Yeah.
Julia: This is just a normal cup of herbal tea that Cammie is making for Hondo here.
Eric: I like what you said, there's like this definitely has some like—there's alchemist properties to what you're doing. So I think that there's at least skill, handy—handable skill to that.
Julia: Right. It's not healing hit points but you know.
Amanda: I'm just gonna put forward that we consider calling, if Julia ever does imbue those cups of tea with magic, we call those turbo charged.
Julia: Ooohh, turbo charged.
Eric: Yeah, it's an extra $1.50. Or doublooms, because I remember what happened late in the last session, doublooms. Yeah, Hondo's making breakfast, Troy you can rattle on down whatever you want.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah. No, Troy walks on the front door fully covered in feathers. Holding—holding the bolt.
Amanda (as Troy): I got it, don't worry.
Eric: Yeah. And that's about Hondo takes a step back and slides a coffee mug, like a handmade—
Amanda: Like a tumbler.
Eric: —Earther no, Earthenware—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: —coffee mug and slides it over to you, that has four raw eggs in it.
Amanda: Troy slams it, no questions asked.
Eric: Incredible. I'll give you a constitution saving throw.
Amanda: Alright. That's a— it's an 11.
Eric: Incredible. Because you're a young man, the DC in my head was 10. You're fine, you're good.
Brandon: No salmonella for Troy.
Eric: It's different from hens of the woods, Brandon, you uh, you get rot–
Brandon: Salmon—nell? Oh.
Eric: You just get rot. It’s bad.
Amanda: Root rot, that makes sense.
Eric: Yeah. Just imagine they're like their hen of the woods mushrooms, with beaks. Just imagine that.
Julia: Ohhh.
Amanda: Ohh I didn't even get that, fuck!
Eric: Yeah, that’s what it was.
Julia: That’s so cute.
Amanda: I'm sitting here thinking do mushrooms have like little caviars, that like are eggs? Like, what?
Julia: It's so cute.
Eric: So Hondo plates up the scrambled eggs for you, slides over to Cammie and then just— just takes out, just the oldest wrinkliest melon, and like picks up like, I guess what can only be considered to be a banche– a machete size knife. Cuts it in half and slides that half over to Umbi.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yes. Thank you.
Amanda: This voice is so good.
Eric: Yeah. Hondo sipping on the tea.
Eric (as Hondo): Hmm. Oh, God, I feel— I feel incredible. I feel like I was a young, a pupating stick bug. This is incredible. A what—a what—
Brandon: I feel like a twig, Eric. I feel like a twig.
Eric (as Hondo): I feel like a pupating twig. Cammie, please what's your secret? I—I need to know I need this every— every day.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, I make all the tea myself. I collect all the ingredients myself, a lot of the teas come from myself.
Eric (as Hondo): Hmm. That's not—that's not weird for you?
Julia (as Cammie): No, why would it be weird?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, you know, people, people all over Verda Stello have strange feelings about you know, produce and, and tea, you know? That's why all the farmers are from Open Fields, you know? They look at that in the face every day, and then they go to their church and say—and say it out— and say it out, and— and they're fine with it.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. We absolutely do. You're absolutely right.
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah. Oh, you're from there?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah!
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, wow! Oh, I've never met someone from the Open Fields before. This is—this is wonderful. What's it like there?
Julia (as Cammie): Um... v-very pleasant. Mhm.
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, sounds just like what someone who doesn't live there anymore would say.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, it was very nice for a very long time, and then I decided things could be better elsewhere.
Eric (as Hondo): Interesting. Interesting. I get— I understand your coded language, and I'm great at social interaction. So I understand—
Julia (as Cammie): I can tell!
Eric (as Hondo): —to only pursue this conversation with one more question.
Julia (as Cammie): Mhm?
Brandon: What's your darkest fear?
Eric: So— Yeah.
Amanda: Are you afraid of death?
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah. So you learn I guess, you know, you know, I don't— I don't subscribe to some of that you know? Getting the power—getting the power from getting that poison out. But is that where you learn how to do all that stuff?
Julia (as Cammie): Sure!
Amanda: Troy's gonna make eye contact with Cammie. Cammie, how are you feeling about answering this question?
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, terrible. Thank you for asking.
Amanda: Yeah, and Troy's like—
Amanda (as Troy): You know my man, one of the great things about being out on the open seas is we don't have to talk about the past. It's like your landlocked, your landlubbers like they—they don't get what it's like out here to start fresh every day, sea salt-scented air.
Brandon (as Umbi): The young boy gets it.
Eric (as Hondo): So few people will come in through Esca. I feel like I was bluffing before because I don't— I'm not good at social interaction. So I'm sorry if I stepped on your toes you know, you hear a lot of things about, about– a lot of things about the Open Fields. I feel like I would ask. I— no problem. No problem.
Brandon (as Umbi): Set on your roots, Eric.
Eric (as Hondo): I—do they have to—Yeah, thank you. Listen, I don't want to step on any roots here. No, it's fine. I just figured I would ask. Interesting stuff, interesting stuff.
Amanda (as Troy): Are we—are we ready to go after that treasure now?
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): I mean, explore that— that excellent architectural heritage site?
Brandon (as Hondo): I know wh—I know why you’re here, it’s fine.
Julia (as Cammie): Treasure? Who said anything about a treasure?
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, hey Hondo, I was— I was saying like a euphemism after I said the real thing is like a little shared joke because we both know what my real meaning is. so, just clueing you in there, brah.
Eric (as Hondo): That's why I love pirates so much, they have worse social skills than I do. Incredible.
Brandon: But they also have guns.
Eric: Uhh. Uh-oh.
Amanda: Troy’s crossbow is out.
Julia: Uh oh.
Amanda (as Troy): Anyone need a gun? Need one? Need any?
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, no, absolutely. Let's get fitted– Let's get finished up, for sure and we can head out.
Eric: Is there anything else you want to do before you want to head out?
Brandon: We'll take a look at my potion list to see if there's any good potions that might be useful.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Eric, I also have a thing.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: One of the skills that I have as a tea witch is something called Tea Ceremony, which allows me to magically conjure tea for you and your allies when you take a long or short rest. A creature who drinks this tea loses one additional level of exhaustion. Can that cure the disadvantage that you bestowed on me earlier?
Eric: Oh, that's an interesting question. Okay. No, I'm not gonna say no. What I will need you to do if you do want to do that, you will need to magically conjure the tea.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: And the tea you gave to Hondo before, was not that.
Julia: Oh, yeah, absolutely not.
Eric: You would have to do that magically.
Julia: Yeah, totally fine.
Eric: If you want to do that.
Julia: Happy to do that.
Eric: So please—well, yeah, what is that like? If you—if you'd like to do that, what does it look like?
Julia: Oh, God, I think it's kind of like a Disney movie, in like Beauty and the Beast where all of a sudden, all of the tea-making instruments come to life and start hopping around the table in rhythm, and start making cups of tea for everyone at the table.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): Uhhhh… It seems like you were holding— it seems like you were holding out on me when you made me tea earlier.
Julia (as Cammie): I just you know, I didn't get a great sleep, and sometimes you just need a little extra oomph when you have a cup of tea in the morning.
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, I could have killed all those sungulls real easy.
Julia (as Cammie): I know but you were–
Amanda (as Troy): Did I fall asleep too fast?
Julia (as Cammie): You were sleeping very soundly, and I didn't want to wake you. That would be bad teamwork.
Eric: Cut to two in the morning.
[snoring and sungull noise]
Julia (as Cammie): Meditate, everything's fine. Troy's sleeping, we don't want to disturb Troy. Umbi only sleeps like three hours a night. We don't want to disturb those three hours. Everything's fine. Everything is great and I will possibly kill all the sungulls on this island later. Everything's fine. Everything's great.
Eric: Cut back to the present.
Julia (as Cammie): So I'm a little tired. So I'm just gonna like very quickly make a little oomph tea for everyone, and then we can move on with our—our quest.
Amanda (as Troy): My man, would you show me what you know about where we're headed? Like any, you know. Structures like, anything we need to know, just vis a vis like angles or structures, floor plan, stuff like that.
Eric (as Hondo): Oh…
Eric: Troy, Hondo was not making eye contact with you. Hondo is watching— is watching the tea diffuser, hop around and hang out in some hot water like it's a Jacuzzi.
Amanda: Yeah, nah. It's pretty tight, that's fair.
Julia: Yeah. I'm picturing the sound when you cook in Breath of the Wild, that's what it sounds.
Amanda: I really need Brandon to do– I don't know what that sounds like, but I'm assuming it's sort of like little plinks, a little wind chimes, or something?
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Plink plink plink.
Julia: Plink plink plink.
Eric: Yeah, it's incredible.
Eric (as Hondo): No— I think—is better if I shou—just better if I show you. I'll– we’ll walk out there. I think we'll just do— we'll head out and you'll see what—you'll see what's going on.
Julia: Can I insight check?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Cool. [dice roll] Ooh, it's a 19 + 4 for 23.
Eric: Great.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Julia, ask me a question.
Julia: Why is he being so– avoiding the questions?
Eric: On the surface, it seems like he is very distracted by the tea stuff. And I think that's true, that's definitely like 50% true. And then if you— you're reading into this a little deeper with a 23, I think that there's something under there that he's holding back from you. And with a 23, I'll give you a follow-up question if you want to get about that.
Julia: I think Cammie fully just stops, like everything freezes in the middle of this like really Disney-fied moment there. And Cammie is like—
Julia (as Cammie): Hondo?
Eric (as Hondo): Yes? Yeah? Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Is there something that we need to know about the temple before we go there?
Eric (as Hondo): There is nothing you need to know about the temple before you go there. I—It seems like you were all buried– I know that there are pirates come through here. I've never seen someone who can make the tea stuff jump around like this. And I asked and you didn't say it, and you're in my house. So I just wanted to get the thi—feel like things are clear here.
Amanda (as Troy): They didn't know about the sungulls, to be fair.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. I also think that we were very clear about– you asked me what I did, and I said I make tea, and I do.
Eric (as Hondo): I feel like it's a pretty obvious omission—lie of omission to not include magic in there as well.
Julia (as Cammie): All tea is magic.
Eric (as Hondo): No, it's not.
Julia (as Cammie): Absolutely.
Eric (as Hondo): I will take you down to the coffee shop in Esca, right now. And the tea bag dunked in the hot water that Jambo gives, is not magic. It's hot leaf—it's hot. leaf water.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, I'm sorry that Jambo hasn't mastered the art of tea, Hondo. But I make tea and I think it's wonderful, and I didn't omit anything from you.
Eric (as Hondo): It's just a little—I didn't ask anything from you. I'm just a little bowled over, alright?
Julia (as Cammie): You also did try to almost murder Umbi playing game the other day. So that's fun and exciting.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric (as Hondo): Umbi would—Umbi was with—Umbi was winning, and that's how you play Drink The Drink. Ask anyone in this —this square of the grid of the great salt sea. That's how you play Drink The Drink. It's high stakes.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, yeah, if you lose ever.
Eric (as Hondo): Exactly, exactly. It seems like Umbi doesn't lose. You don't get this many wrinkles on the—on the produce if—you know if you lo— if you lose.
Brandon: And then Umbi takes one cube of melon and just like— like a snake just like–
Eric: Umbi’s mouth just takes whole melon. Incredible.
Eric (as Hondo): Well, how about I say one thing to you? I don't think you two are his grandchildren.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, no, that's just an affectionate title that we call Umbi.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): Okay. Alright. So I think it's the— then alright, we're all squared away then. Alright.
Amanda (as Troy): Listen, do you—do you walk into new places and advertise every detail about you know yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses? Like listen, it's a—it's a tough life out here. We're not you know, we're not adhering to court rules. We're not, you know, in a—in the land of propriety out here. It's— it's every, every Greenfolk for themselves.
Eric (as Hondo): I understand. I—listen, I want to turn down the temperature on the situation, un– to the proper level of only making tea and for not making this hot. That's why I live here and the three of you are out on the open sea. That's fine.
Amanda (as Troy): No reason we can't help each other today.
Eric (as Hondo): Sure. I didn't want to say anything about the temple because there's— there's superstitions about telling people about what the trial is, and how deadly and terrible it is. But no, honestly, I tell you, there's um—there's some, there's a– it's vertical if that helps you there's a cli—it's a climbing situation, and it's not that deadly. I think the three of you are going to do fine.
Brandon: Well, Eric, I would like to spend 3, aka all of my reagent dice to make three potions of climbing.
Eric: Great.
Julia: That sounds excellent.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Julia: Thank you, Brandon.
Amanda: Tight as hell.
Eric: That sounds great. Good job playing the game.
Brandon: Thanks.
Eric: What does this— what does this look like? What does it—how does an alchemist make potions?
Brandon: It's kind of just like an outcropping of the bomb-making process. So like the way that bombs are made in, in this scenario is like, there's a vial of the two reagents, like the things that will explode when they come in contact. So one is in the smaller vial, and then within the round, bigger pieces, the second one. So when you throw it, the inner one breaks, and then they react and explode. So it's sort of the process of like, as you're putting together some kind of substances to see what happens. You stumble upon a potion of climbing or whatever it is. So it's just kind of like, for Umbi, it's just this like, small inner bits, the smaller vials that he just like puts the two things that don't explode, but do make a potion climbing inside.
Eric: I just love how this whole situation is Jager bombs.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: In so many ways, and you're just like, pull out. I can only imagine you're doing this at the table in which you were eating, right– only few moments before.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, like one hand with melon, the other hand doing the potions.
Eric: Doing the potions. Yeah, absolutely. Looking at potion of climbing, you get advantage on strength checks you do while you're climbing.
Julia: Wonderful.
Brandon: And you gain a climbing speed equal to your walking speed for one hour.
Julia: Ooooh.
Eric: Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: We love that.
Eric (as Hondo): Alright. I think we've spent a little bit– the sun is getting a little bit too high in the sky for— for me. We want to make sure we do this during the daytime. Let's head—let's head out, how does that sound?
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's do it.
Julia (as Cammie): Wonderful.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, I’m already outside.
Julia: And we look around, and we're like, Troy, Troy?
Eric (as Hondo): Troy?
Amanda (as Troy): I’m ready.
Eric: Alright, let's hit it.
[theme]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric, and you know what's making me happy, the theme song for Join the Party Campaign three. It's so good, we work so hard on it. And you're all doing so much to tell us that you love it, which makes me happy. So thank you for caring about it, and thank you for sharing it to more people. But you know, we'll talk about that later. Welcome to the mid-roll. The way—it’s a wish granting Salmon, I—what do you— what do you want? This is good. Thank you to our newest patrons. Phoebe and Jessica, welcome to the crew. This is a wonderful time to come on board. You are making this podcast a reality, along with the hundreds of other people who give us some money every single month to support Join the Party and creators directly. If you want to be a part of that, you want to be on the patron-only Discord, if you want bi-weekly party planning podcast, hundreds and hundreds of bonus materials from previous campaigns, and more, just come aboard patreon.com/jointheparty pod. 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[theme]
Eric: Alright, so the town of Esca, on Esca Island is kind of like the only settled area of the island. It's on kind of like the right side of the island so that you can get up to there easily from the dock, where you can set your boats up. Where you have the Sea Whip put together.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yup.
Eric: So the majority of the island over to like in the middle and the left of it, is still just like forest, is oh, what's the— what is the point life like on Esca Island?
Brandon: What is the plant life like, Eric. What is it?
Eric: I think it's mostly beachy, but still with like weird trees coming out at different angles. And not to say that they're like tropical trees or palm trees. It's like— imagine like your— it's the majority sand and the beach. And there's like little scrub land popping out. And then all of a sudden, there's like a patch of forest, like in front of you, and you got to like walk through the patch of forest and then all of a sudden it's like beach again. It's definitely patchy here, but it's also wet. You know, like, I mean for Julia and Amanda definitely, you know, like where the tide is like perpetually in the beach, and it's like marsh but also sandy?
Amanda: Yeah, little cove situation.
Eric: Yeah, lots of coves in here. I think that that's what allows these forest groves to kind of pop up in random places where the wa—were like fresh water is filtered through all the plant life there and actually is able to create like an eco– a small patch of ecosystem. You head out of the town of Esca, Hondo does some Belle in the first song of Beauty in the Beasts ass shit, as Hondo says hi to everyone in town.
Amanda: Does Hondo also think all his neighbors suck?
Eric: No, everyone—Hondo loves all of his neighbors. And all of his neighbors love Hondo because he just has like, he has like Mayor energy I think from being the town handyman and that's like his main job. Someone runs up to him and gives them like a—like bread for fixing their gutters. He plays with some children, playing a real Ring Around the Rosie game that involves dead people drowning.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Sure, sure, sure.
Eric: And then coming back as drowned folk, and he participates in that.
Julia: So just to clarify, Hondo would be, if this was a Hallmark movie, the romantic love interest from the small town.
Eric: Yes. Oh, sorry, did I say Esca Island, I meant Christmas Tree Island.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: Sure. And Cammie is the woman from the big city, I assume?
Julia: No, not at all. Not even a little bit.
Brandon: That's Umbi.
Eric (as Umbi): I need to leave my boyfriend to find myself.
Julia (as Umbi): He doesn't understand my passions, which is bomb-making.
Eric: And people also recognize you—the people who recognize you from the night before giving you like big smiles and waving to you and saying hi.
Amanda: Troy's loving this. He's strutting his stuff.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Everyone knows where you're going, especially the folks. The folks who were there before told their families and anyone who couldn't make it, that so everyone knows like, oh have fun at the Sea Devil’s Temple, don't die.
Julia (as Cammie): What an odd thing to say to strangers.
Amanda (as Troy): They were really reluctant to say anything about the fact of the temple last night, and now this morning it's all like, oh, hope you don't die. Hahaha. Bet there’s souvenirs. I hate souvenirs.
Brandon (as Umbi): Give me a keychain!
Eric (as Townsfolk): Give me a photo of you all conquering the tri—conquering the trial.
Amanda (as Troy): In the Crags, just gotta say this people, your—your souvenir, your life. You know walk away from a situation you got your life, that souvenir enough.
Julia (as Cammie): That's so profound.
Eric: Yeah, it's definitely—in the Crags, you're doing it like next to a volcano. So it's a lot— it's a lot more—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —like impactful. Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You're doing it in a cove that has piranhas in it. Or ra—or a radishes with razor-sharp teeth that are just swimming around.
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, next time, maybe, maybe I should say, my souvenir is my life. Next time I do graffiti in a tavern, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): I love that. Absolutely.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks.
Julia (as Cammie): I'll cover you.
Amanda (as Troy): Aw, thanks.
Eric: And then you all head—I think you head out of town. And through the scrubland, through the forest. You make your way through another pod of trees, and you come out to a sandy clearing and you're confronted with a cliff face. But as you look closer, you'll see that there's a lot of intricate carvings carved into the stone that's creating almost like a stairs/climbing wall situation made out of the dark stone that is this cliff face. And next to it is a very large kind of like, stone basin that is very smooth and seems to be worn away from water. It's about—this is 100 feet up, and Hondo stands next to you and whi—and whistles and says—
Eric (as Hondo): Ah, it’s nice. Nice seeing the old trial again.
Julia (as Cammie): So you've done this one before?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, yeah. Everyone, this is the trial, everyone's done it before. I haven't done it personally in a long time. but it's a— it's nice to—it's nice to see.
Julia (as Cammie): Now I'm not a numbers person. How—like statistically what would you say the survival rate of the trials are?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, Cammie, you want me to ruin your fun and tell you a percentage of people who've been brutally maimed by the trial?
Julia (as Cammie): Well, I feel like that's not taking away my fun, so much as heightening the experience for me.
Eric (as Hondo): What if I told you it was 50 perce—only 50% of Greenfolks survive the trial?
Julia (as Cammie): Well, when you say it in that voice, I doubt that's true for some reason?
Eric (as Hondo): Okay, it's 40%, only 40% survive.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Survive like they die?
Eric (as Hondo): Yes, yes.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh cool.
Eric (as Hondo): What about all the people saying I hope you don't die, and me saying it was a deadly trial? Did you not think it was a deadly trial?
Julia (as Cammie): Well, it does kind of seem like a prank. Again, the way that everyone is talking about it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Were people talking to us?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Hondo): Well, you know, once— once people, once people demonstrate to Escan's that they're here for the thing, we're all kind of in on it. We all know about it, it’s our town's duty to maintain the Temple of the Sea Devil. So, it's important, it's important to us.
Amanda (as Troy): And what do we get if we win?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, the treasure of the temple.
Amanda (as Troy): How —there's just one tre— like how is there more than one treasure? How have the 60% of people who have died, and the 40% who won? How do they not walk away with treasure already?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Also, why are you not wildly rich, is another great question. I feel like we should be asking before risking our lives.
Brandon (as Umbi): These are excellent questions.
Eric (as Hondo): The Sea Devil knows things and doesn't know things. It's it, it's their temple. I only know so much as a humble—as a humble maintainer of the people of Esca. I don't ask that any questions, it's just I am rich in what we get, and it all goes down, we all pool it together and it goes to Esca. I can tell—do you want to know what the treasure is?
Julia (as Cammie): Yes.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Hondo): It's—it gives, so part of the thing that the temple does, is that it replenishes the material—the ambergris that you can then put together for Amber.
Amanda (as Troy): Now you're talking.
Eric: Hey, this is DM Eric.
Julia: Hey!
Eric: You might remember from the worldbuilding episodes where I mentioned Amber. Amber is kind of the pirate currency. If you've watched John Wick, it's kind of like what the assassins give to each other. You can give Amber for a favor or for like a group thing, or you can use it for experience, which you will then do when we maintain– when we see the full skill tree that involves your pirate base.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: And this is where Amber comes from. Ambergris is the ma—is the material that he's talking about.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hi, Eric.
Eric: Hi, Umbi, are you having fun?
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm having a great time.
Eric: Okay. Umbi remember, don't make the ambergris blow up this time.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Because it is just like oil or grease. So it seems like it might be highly flammable, we should be careful.
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Say no more my man, I'm down.
Eric: Yeah. So it replenishes over time, there's only so much that we can make here. And we use it and we have to trade it immediately to the pirates that come by and we trade it for favors. So that's an— so we can maintain what we have here on— on Esca Island.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm sold.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm in.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright then.
Eric (as Hondo): Wink.
Eric: Hondo says out loud.
Julia (as Cammie): I hate that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Why did you wink?
Eric (as Hondo): To demonstrate I was trustworthy. Is that not what I'm supposed to do?
Julia (as Cammie): No. Again, it makes it seem like you have ulterior motives when you, one use that tone and two say wink out loud.
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, I don't. Yeah, I'm just bad at social communication.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, hey, do what I do see—see this thing I'm doing with my—with my little hand here.
Eric: Hondo extends the longest thinnest—
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: –branch hand–
Amanda (as Troy) Yeah.
Eric: –with spindly terrible fingers.
Amanda (as Troy) Yeah, so the first finger and the last finger out.
Eric: Okay, first finger, last finger out.
Amanda (as Troy) Other fingers bends to touch your own palm.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): And then you just like wiggle it a little bit. It can mean, bruh, anything.
Eric: Can I say to the three of you, it's horrifying. Alright, so let me explain to you the mechanics of how the Trial of the Sea Devil works.
Brandon: Weeee!
Amanda: Yaaaay!
Eric: You're going to be scaling the stone carved steps and climbing wall on the side of this cliff. And to begin the trial, Hondo gestures to the ground in front of the cliff and there's a like a stone switch that you can press in because stone— stonework’s crazy, y'all, it's crazy. And that's—and that's how you get started. Mechanically, it will take you four checks, quote-unquote “checks” to get up the wall these climbing checks. However, because you have the climbing potion, I'm going to say that only takes you three checks.
Brandon: Ooooh.
Eric: So that will be like the compensation of what Brandon said that your—your climbing speed is faster than it was before and equals your walking speed. Also, in order to make these checks, you will need a communal DC of 35 from either athletics or acrobatics checks.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Each of you can decide which one you want to do. If you do athletics, you get the advantage from the climbing potion.
Brandon: Sick.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Okay. And again, all– each of you can choose whichever one you want to do, if you want to do Dex or if you want to do acrobatics or athletics, and it won't penalize you. It's all—you just need to hit 35.
Brandon: Cool. Well, I think that Umbi takes out three vials from his like belt/pouch thing. Hands each of his companions one and says—
Brandon (as Umbi): Bottoms up!
Brandon (as Troy): Bombs up!
Julia (as Cammie): Bombs up!
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I said bottoms, by like that better, bomb!
Julia (as Cammie): Bombs up!
Brandon (as Umbi): Bombs up!
Julia (as Cammie): There we go.
Eric: As the glass inside of the glass drops, and it also—it looks like rope inside of the potion as you all drink it.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: Nothing is funnier to me, Brandon, than this glass inside of a glass thing, like it's a fucking— what's the—the puzzle codex in the—
Brandon: Angels and Demons?
Eric: —in the Da Vinci Code?
Amanda: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: How the codex if you don't—if you try to break the codex, the liquid breaks to get on the—like a bottle.
Brandon: Oh yeah, like a Schrodinger’s cat situation, yeah.
Amanda: You have a much better recall of Dan Brown's novel than I ever expected.
Eric: It's funny.
Julia: It's kinda weird.
Amanda: I want to read them again.
Eric: They're fucking ridiculous. Okay, I will say though, there will be four quote-unquote “rounds” here. But you can kind of just like automatically like scamper up the remaining one.
Brandon: Okay. I just want to also just for flavies, literal flavies. I want to say what each of my potions tastes like.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And I think this one tastes like—like raw cocoa. Sort of earthy, a little bit unpleasant, a little bit bitter, but—but still deliciously chocolatey.
Julia: Alright Umbi.
Eric: It 78% rope.
Amanda (as Troy): That'll put some scilla on your chest.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Eric: They're also like going to be challenges in between these—these climbs. So each of you will get an action in between these checks that you have to do. But you can also choose to do nothing, like brace yourself to get ready. Ordinarily, that would give you advantage, we already have the advantage. So I'll let you give that—that'll automatically give you plus two to your roll if you kind of just like get ready to climb.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Okay. Eric, can I have Nonny prepare an action to, if I like slip or fall or something like that, to grab me with her tentacles?
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: See, I'm not asking for like a help action or anything, but—
Eric: Can your familiar hold up your body weight is my question.
Julia: Hmm, that is a good question.
Eric: Interesting. I will roll— we'll roll on it. You have stats for Nonny.
Julia: I do.
Brandon: How much does a tea bush weigh?
Julia: I don't know. But Nonny also has negative three to strength, but plus two to dexterity, so.
Eric: It's got to be a strength check, but you know, it's like hitting a tree while you're falling down a cliff. It's definitely is— it’s definitely helpful.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I have other things in case I—that doesn't work, so we'll figure it out. I'm very nervous.
Amanda: This is gonna be great. Gonna be great.
Julia: My stats are not good for this challenge, but alright.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Let's do it.
Brandon: Surprisingly, Google can't tell me how much a tea bush weighs.
Eric: Can you Google how much is a tree bush Greenfolk weigh to the Google Maps?
Brandon: How much does a tree bush—
Eric: And as Hondo kind of sets up next to the mat—the large basin, like–
Eric (as Hondo): Alright, this is how we're gonna keep time. Once we hit the stone switch, the water's gonna go into the basin and that's gonna keep your time.
Julia (as Cammie): It's timed?! There's time—there's a time element to this?
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, Cammie, it's gonna be great. Don't worry about it.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Just don't worry about it, then you're not gonna worry about it, then it’ll be fine.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy I think you're a— that's just a you thing.
Amanda (as Troy): Ohh. My bad
Julia (as Cammie): That sounds like a wonderful way to live, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): My bad, my bad.
Brandon: So is it like it's sort of like an hourglass, like a sand?
Eric: It's like an hourglass situation, yeah. You need to beat–- get up the cliff before the water fills up the basin.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Got it.
Eric: Which is for quote-unquote, “checks”, but you can do it in three.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: Because you're—because you're all faster. Hell yeah, folks, alright. Y'all ready to go?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, let's do it.
Eric: Alright, let's do it.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm full of melon, baby.
Eric: Incredible. Alright. So who wants to step on the switch?
Amanda: I can do it.
Julia: Seems like a Troy thing.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy walks over to the switch, gives his—his teammates a thumbs up, and then steps on the switch.
Eric: Incredible. Alright.
Brandon: And Troy dies.
Eric: You step on the switch, it—it has a real good heft to it as it slides into the spot. And you see that the water starts arcing through the side of the cliff and running into the base and Hondo screams:
Eric (as Hondo): Go!
Eric: Alright, three of you, let's start with our first climbing check. Remember, you get advantage if you use athletics checks, and you need to hit a 35.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Glad we had that because my first roll was a Nat 1.
Julia: It was also a Nat 1 for me, too!
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Let's go! First challenge of Campaign Three!
Brandon: No worries guys. Umbi will carry you on his back. He got a 19.
Amanda: Amazing.
Julia: I rolled a 19 - 1 for an 18.
Eric: Nice.
Brandon: I got a 19 + 1 for a non Nat 20.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: Alright.
Amanda: And I got 10 + 3 for a 13.
Eric: Perfect. Alright, that's plenty, that is 51, folks. You have one climbing check already done, as you start to climb your way up this aggro crag of a stone cliff. As soon as all three of you get onto the actual cliff and start walking up, below you, you see chchhh! as stone spikes shoot out of the ground below you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm gonna say this is just like home, but that part's not like home.
Julia (as Cammie): Are the others—are those things on purpose?
Eric (as Hondo): Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So make it a little bit harder so that you can't like wait it out.
Julia (as Cammie): Fun.
Brandon (as Umbi): I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of massive pain.
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, I'm also—I—my biggest fear is a spike going through my face.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Entirely understandable.
Eric: Absolutely, absolutely. What kind of aura surrounds you all as you're climbing up with the —with the potion? What power-up does it look like you all have?
Brandon: Well, I want to hedge my bets here and say that when it is necessary for us to be sneaky, there is no aura. But in this case, it's like, like level 3000 Shaggy or whatever.
Eric: Oh, nice. There's just like—it just looks like you're going Super Saiyan while you’re climbing.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: I love how it turns off—
Brandon: I don't know.
Eric: —when you're not climbing. But as soon as you're vertical, you're glowing.
Julia: It knows, it just knows.
Amanda: I was imagining like a magnetic drill bit, where our hands kind of like snap to the right-hand hold.
Brandon: That's actually what it is.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: I like that a lot.
Eric: That’s really good. Alright, you—you all shimmy up 1/3 of the cliff as you're just charging up this thing. And that's when you see that there are some almost like stone gutters above you that are pointing down towards you. And some sort of like viscous golden sap is pouring out of these gutters and is starting to run all over you. If you don't deal with this, the next climb is going to be harder. Each of you have— has an action, what would you like to do?
Brandon (as Umbi): Drink it, quick drink it!
Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, Umbi.
[Eric makes aggressive drinking noises]
Eric: The golden liquid is rolling out of just holes in the cliff and rolling— and slurping down these gutters—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: As it's threa— as they're threatening to make your life much, much harder.
Amanda: Are the gutters like embedded into the carve from the cliff, or are they like a fixed in some way?
Eric: Great question. Make an investigation check.
[dice roll]
Amanda: That's an 18.
Eric: 18. They are carved into the cliff, however, they seem to only be held on by like small joints, because they're pretty far horizontally out of the cliff.
Amanda: Oh, so they're like they're carved but they are protruding far?
Eric: Yes, they are carved or they are protruding far out of it. And it seems like they are only affixed to the cliff by some small joints.
Amanda (as Troy): I could try to shoot the joints. I don't think that's the best plan, but it's—it's what I got.
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, I was going to suggest something similar. So if you feel confident, you're the— you're the greatest sharpshooter in the high seas so that– I trust your shots, Troy. Unlike my arms, I don't trust my arms.
Eric: Yeah. Each—remember, each of you has an action.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandon: Well, I think what happens for Umbi, is that sort of almost as like a reflex. I think, Umbi what he's—would see something coming at him like that, he would grab a bomb out of his pouch, and then he's going to pull out a teleportation bomb.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: And what happens with that is that you throw it and wherever it lands within 30 feet, instantly teleport you to that position. So—
Amanda: Woah!
Brandon: I think he would probably just like go right above the top of the gutter.
Julia: That's cool as hell.
Eric: Alright. No, that sounds great. You do need to like throw the bomb.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: So the way that bombs work is that it’s still an attack roll, and then you get to do something with it, regardless of what you put in it.
Brandon: Tight.
Eric: And it's teleportation of material. So I'm going to say that the AC for this is a 13. You need to get an 8— a 13 on an attack roll to teleport above the gutters.
Brandon: Cool. Okay, so I get + 4 to that.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Four with my proficiency.
Julia: You got this Brandon.
Brandon: And Dex bonus?
Amanda: You got it. You got it.
Julia: I know it's hard rolling a D20 again Brandon, but you got this.
Brandon: None of them like me, all the D20s are mad at me.
Julia: What do you do to them?
Brandon: Well—
Julia: What did you do, Brandon?
Amanda: Oh, Brandon.
Brandon: I got a 9 total.
Eric: That's a 9.
Julia: Oh, Brandon.
Amanda: You rolled a five?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, buddy.
Amanda: Oh, bud.
Eric: Brandon, if I may, I think Umbi tosses the bomb. It bounces back off the gutter and lands right in front of you, so you teleport forward one foot?
Brandon: No, it just doesn't go off, Eric. And I don't—this is the thing with bombs. Like sometimes the vials just don't break, you know?
Eric: Oh, that’s right. Yeah, you're right. I only get to do that when you do an Nat 1. That's Right.
Brandon: Sure. Yeah, that's fair, I'll give you that.
Eric: That’s okay.
Amanda: It’s like Mario Party Eric, you teleport one square behind yourself.
Eric: No, it says listen it's written involved as about what to do about missed bombs. You're right, yeah. I mean, you toss the bomb, it doesn't go off.
Brandon: That does mean you are as a DM allowed to make fun of my bomb-making skills, if you'd like to though?
Eric: How about the bomb teleports 30 feet, but you don't?
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: Yeah, that's pretty fun.
Eric: Yeah. Good. Yeah, so the bomb is now see— it's like wedged at the top of the gutter that's not being caught up by the viscous liquid. So it's up there, but you're not. Cammie and Troy, what do you want to do?
Julia: Troy, all you and I have a backup in case you miss—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Which I doubt you will.
Amanda: Troy wants to take two shots and go for the closest joint on each of the two gutters.
Eric: Great. Alright, this is stone so I'm going to use the AC for stone to break it. It is a 17.
Brandon: I believe in you.
Amanda: I did get... I did get a Nat 1.
Brandon: No!!!!!!
Julia: Come on, guys.
Brandon: Shit!
Amanda: Well, that's a– that's all I got.
Julia: That's not a 17.
Amanda: No, no, it's not.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Interesting. Interesting, bold choice. Bold move.
Eric: Ama—Amanda I'm gonna give this to you. Why—what happens when you fire this and into a Nat 1?
Amanda: What’d be the most embarrassing thing to happen?
Brandon: Your pants fall down.
Amanda: I think the bolt instead of firing out in front of me from the crossbow, just kind of like doots back behind me and hits me right on the forehead. Give me a little, a little welt.
Eric: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Oh, wait, Amanda, you can use ricochet.
Brandon: It bounces off the forehead and then hits the joint.
Amanda: Oh, okay, okay, thank you, thank you.
Eric: Wherever you have ricochet, when you miss with a range, for—you can and you don't have a disadvantage, you can use your bonus action to reroll. So it misfires, hits you in the head, and then what happened?
Amanda: And then I'm like, shit, and I grab it again and then fire it again really quickly. So—
Brandon: Oh, the pride of a young man.
Amanda: Aha, that is an 18 + 4 for a 22.
Brandon: Whoa!
Eric: That's how we do it, that's how we do it.
Julia: That's how we roll!
Amanda: However, I am going to do half damage because it was— it was on ricochet. So do I have to calculate damage for this?
Eric: Ah yes, you do.
Amanda: Okay, so that's a D8 piercing. I will do 7 + 2 for a 9.
Eric: Okay, so that's five. With a five—with after refiring your arrow, there is definitely a crack in one of the gutters, but it is not falling apart.
Julia: Okay. Cammie desperately wanted to just cling on for dear life this round, but instead, it's going to shoot an eldritch orb at the now damaged gutter.
Eric: Hell yeah, what is—what does eldritch orb look like?
Julia: For Cammie, I think it's kind of like the top of her leaves glow, and then kind of almost like a Solar Beam from a Venusaur.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Collect together in an orb that then shoots out.
Brandon: Love it.
Eric: Let's do it.
Brandon: I was thinking if Cammie were a Paladin, I guess? You could have used one of those like tee ball things where it has a chain and you just like whip it around.
Eric: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Julia: Incredible. So it was a 14 + 4, so an 18.
Eric: Yeah, that hits.
Julia: Oh, sweet. Okay. So now I need a 1D8 force damage.
Eric: Julia, you need a 3 or more.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: You can do it, I believe!
Julia: Well I'm gonna be adding a 2 to this regardless because it's Spellcasting.
Eric: Okay, you need at least —you need over 1, I'm raising it to 9.
Brandon: And Julia rolls a 0.
Julia: It's a 2.
Everyone: Yay!
Eric: There you go. I’ll take it. Alright, yeah, when the orb connects, the rest of the gutter cracks off. The gooey nastiness just kind of dribbles down one side of the cliff, but the other gutter is still dourbling down, and all of you get a little sticky from the same sap that was on your beers on the previous slide.
Eric: Umbi looks over at his companions and says,
Brandon (as Umbi): Let me explain.
Eric: Alright, so you have one climb check succeeded. I'm going to add +5, you're trying to hit a 40 collectively. However, you still have the same bonuses as before. and Hondo says,
Eric (as Hondo): Yeah, you gotta watch out for the sticky stuff, that sap, we drink it but also it's— it's inherent to the on— it's inherent to the island.
[dice roll]
Julia: Alright, with advantage I roll the 19 - 1 for an 18 again.
Eric: Nice. 18.
Brandon: Well, you boy roll two 8s—
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Plus 1 for a 9.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I also got an 8, but I get to add + 3 for an 11.
Brandon: What was your other roll, Amanda? Jesus.
Amanda: A five. Yeah.
Brandon: God. Okay well, I don’t think we hit it, did we?
Julia: My other one was a 5 too.
Eric: That's 38, y'all don't do it. Y'all are stuck in the sticky part, and you do—you do not advance as the basin continues to climb. Luckily you—you're all you were moving before so you have extra— extra time here. This gutter is still burbling down on you, you still have the opportunity to deal with that, and then you hear—
Eric (as Hondo): Oh my go—oh my God what is that?
Eric: As you see that there are– three decomposing faces are looking down at you from the top of the cliff.
Brandon: Oh no.
Eric: Going–
Eric (as Zombie): Ahhhhhhh
Julia (as Cammie): Hondo? What's that?
Eric (as Hondo): I don't know, I've never seen. This has never happened before during the Sea Devils, the Sea Devil’s thing.
Julia (as Cammie): Hondo. We need to talk about your tone and how everything sounds sarcastic—
Eric (as Hondo): No, I really mean it, this has never happened before!
Eric: And then a just a body then falls off—falls off the cliff. A decomposing corpse of a cactus person—
Brandon: Oh no!
Eric: Falls down. I need all of you to make dexterity-saving throws.
Amanda (as Troy): Duck and roll.
Julia: Oh God.
Eric: These are going to be hard because you're doing dexterity saving throws while on a cliff.
Amanda: 15 for me.
Brandon: 18 total for me.
Eric: Alright.
Julia: Uh, Eric, it's gonna be a 2.
Eric: Oh, no. Oh no!
Amanda: Ohh, Cammie.
Eric: Aright. Cammie, I need you to make a strength saving throw as here Troy— Troy and Umbi watch as the body of a cactus person going–
Eric (as Zombie Cactus): Errrghhh!
Eric: –just falls and lands fully on top of Cammie.
Julia: Who falls instantly because I rolled another fucking 2.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: Another 2. And now I need Nonny to make a roll, to see if Nonny is gonna hold you.
Julia: Oh Nonny, Nonny, Nonny. Oh god Nonny, Jesus Christ. So Nonny gets to add 2 to that, but also has -3 to that. So that's going to be a 6 from Nonny. Can I take a bonus action?
Eric: You can take a bonus action. Here's what happens, the Cactus corpse lands directly on top of Cammie. Cammie, you can't get out of the way, the spikes from the cactus are inside of you and you are face to face with a cactus corpse. A cactus zombie face that's going–
Eric (as Zombie Cactus): Ahhh!
Eric: –and trying to bite your—bite one of your leaves. You try to hold on, you slip off. Nonny's little seaweed tentacle tries to hold you. You can't and you start falling the 30 feet. First I'm gonna have to do damage for the cactus spikes that go into you.
Julia: Sure, naturally.
Eric: While they’re going–
[dice roll]
Eric: That's 8 damage, 8 piercing damage from the cactus corpse.
Julia: Tight.
Eric: And I would say you are— you are falling fast and you have one– time for one bonus action before you hit the spikes below you.
Julia: Great. I'm gonna cast swift flight.
Eric: Oh hell yeah.
Julia: So for one round until the end of the target's next turn, the target being myself, I have a fly speed of 30 feet. It falls if it ends its turn in the air and nothing else is holding it aloft.
Brandon: Sick.
Eric: You are— your are feet above the spikes, the—the corpse is currently on top of you. I'm going to need an Arcana check for you to magically get out from underneath it.
Julia: Excellent. That's going to be a 19.
Eric: 19.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Brandon: That's good.
Julia: Now I'm rolling good.
Eric: Much like Starfox, you do a barrel roll, get out from underneath the corpse—right! You are just touch– the spikes are so close to you, so close! As you barrel out of the way and the cactus person is fully impaled by the spikes.
Amanda (as Troy): Good thing Cammie's not freaked out by death.
Julia (as Cammie): I think I'm solidly the only person on this team who is freaked out by death. But I am trying to learn from my teammates.
Eric: How long does this last for?
Julia: It is until the end of my next turn, I have a fly speed. Can I take maybe a dash action then, and get up to where my teammates are by the end of this round?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yeah, absolutely. You can—you can kinda—you can get back on there and then hold on to it.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: That's what I did.
Eric: So that all happened. That was Cammie, that was Cammie's turn.
Julia (as Cammie): Hey, that was terrible. And usually, you know, I like to try to put a little bit of a positive spin on things. That was pretty bad.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, I’m so glad you’re okay, that’s so scary.
Julia (as Cammie): It was very scary, not going to lie to you.
Eric (as Hondo): I hate everything that just happened.
Eric (as Zombie Cactus): AhhhH!
Eric: As the cactus zombie just kind of like breaks into pieces around the spikes, as the two other decomposing corpses at the top continue to kind of like growl and zombie make noises at you. Clawing at you with the air from the top of the— top of the cliff.
Brandon: I can't really come up with anything other than this. but I was going to say what is this, The Walking Bread? And I realized there's not bread people in our world.
Eric: That's pretty good. I mean, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, I'd love to shoot at one of the zombies that are sort of at the edge of the cliff up above.
Eric: Sure. These would have— these do have half cover, but you ignore that because they have the like, verticality of the cliff to move back from, so you're fine on that.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Okay, so I roll the 17 to hit.
Eric: 17, that hits.
Amanda: Great. [dice roll] Alright, and then I have a 5 + 2 for 7 damage. And then I'm going to use one of my risk die, which is one of my class features, to do covering fire. So when I hit a creature with a range weapon attack, I can expend a risk die as a bonus action to cow the creature. Roll the risk die and subtract it from the next attack roll the creature makes before the start of my next turn.
Eric: Hell yeah. I will say that up there because I didn't distinguish the two. What is a zombie sunflower, that is only like the middle of the sunflower. It has none of the petals, and the other is a beetle with mold all over it.
Amanda: Sick as hell. That one seems grosser, so let's go for the beetle.
Eric: Alright.
Amanda: So I'm going to roll my risk five to the D8. [dice roll] So I get a 6. So if the creature makes an attack, you have to subtract the 6.
Eric: Oh my god, subtract 6?
Julia: Duuuude.
Eric: Yeah, how did you—what did you do to it to cow it?
Amanda: I think that Troy has like, you know how some people wear like sweatbands on their mid forearms.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: You know like not on the wrist, but like up further. I think he has that, but it's covered in like pollen almost. And when he like swipes an arrow through it while reloading, it does extra damage when it hits a creature or like stuns them or paralyzes them, makes it tingly.
Eric: Yeah sure.
Amanda: And so, I think he did that when shooting the arrow. And so the form of it is you see a little bit of like a almost like a neon green, like a very—like a phosphorescent mold, like a neon greenish yellow much like his markings and his clothes. Surrounding the entry wound of the bolt when it hits the beetle in the chest.
Eric: Cool. That's tight as hell.
Julia: That's dope.
Eric: And the beetle as it goes–
Eric (as Zombie Beetle): Ahhhh. Achoo!
Eric: Umbi, what do you want to do?
Brandon: So that one’s not knocked out, that beetle?
Eric: No.
Brandon: Okay. Well, I think yeah, then I will definitely try to hit this gutter full of delicious, delicious sap, with a burst bomb that I have.
Eric: Sure, what does that do?
Brandon: It's sort of just like a normal bomb that deals piercing damage instead of fire damage, and it’s damage dice are D8s, and explodes in a 10-foot radius.
Eric: Great. Alright. This is going to be the same AC as before because it's stone, it’s 17.
Brandon: Cool. I got a Nat 1.
Eric: Mm-hmm interesting.
Brandon: So does that explode in my face?
Amanda: Brandon.
Julia: Brandon, Brandon, we talked about this. Just because we were going back to a D20 system, doesn't mean you can start rolling Nat 1’s again.
Brandon: Amanda had the— the curse for a while on the Camp-Paign, what happened?
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: We can't mark experiences this time is the thing.
Brandon: I know.
Eric: You toss the bomb up. It bounces off the gutter and flies towards Hondo who's standing next to the basin and Hondo's like aaaahhh, and jumps into the brush to get out of the way as the bomb bursts around it, and just shred the tree— just shreds a tree near them. it's kind of like he's standing behind it and then [bomb explosion] into the tree that he's standing behind.
Brandon (as Umbi): So—sorry.
Amanda (as Troy): Well, Umbi if that went where you intended, that would have been great.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks. I like– I appreciate the positive reinforcement.
Eric: Alright, the sunflower zombie is going to pull a sunflower seed out of its face and throw it at Troy. So I'm gonna do an attack roll. [dice roll] Does a 13 hit you?
Amanda: The 13 is my AC.
Eric: Alright, that does hit you which does 6 points of necrotic damage.
Amanda: Oh great.
Eric: Because it’s gross and nasty.
Brandon: Six points of salty damage
Amanda: Eric, can I expand another risk die? I have something called, “Skin of your teeth”. When an attacker you can see makes an attack roll against you, I can expend a risk die as a reaction to dodge out of harm's way at the last second. I add the risk die to my AC against the attack.
Eric: You absolutely can.
Amanda: Cool. So anything will succeed here and sure enough, I rolled a 4.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: What does that look like? In the last possible moment it just like grazes you?
Amanda: Time slows down slightly and you see Troy like contort his body to dodge by you know mila—millimeter, millimeters. And you see Troy, contort his body so that the seed grazes the shoulder of his jacket, instead of hitting him.
Brandon: I thought you're gonna say millipedes, by millipedes.
Eric: Yeah, they count in mila—they count in millipedes.
Amanda: You're right. You know what guys, I fucked up. Millipedes over and it would have simply gone through Troy's shoulder.
Eric: Oh, of course. it's the metric beetle system. The metric—
Julia: Yeah, yeah. Naturally, naturally.
Amanda: And a thousand millibeetles, equals one beetle.
Brandon: The Metric beetles were the regular beetles, but then in America, we had the imperial beetles.
Eric: Yeah. What's a metric beetle ton as opposed to a ton? I can't remember. Alright, let's go, Cammie. I assume you're going to just fly up there.
Julia: I mean, so I can only use it for one turn.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Unless I cast it again. Which at this point I'm considering because I think I'll die otherwise if that happens to be again. So we're just going to wipe out all my second-level spells I guess for this.
Eric: Yeah. Do it, just cast it again, for sure.
Julia: Alright. Yeah. So I'm going to cast it again as a bonus action.
Eric: Okay, wonderful. So now, because you're spending all of your actions dashing, and your bonus action cast to get on you, you are not involved, you cannot do actions in the in-between here.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So now I'm going to adjust the average. So this is still going to be 40 because you're still underneath the sap. But that's 40 divided by 3 x 2. I am looking for a 27-group check between two of you. One of you needs to get at least 13, and one of you needs to get at least 14. The climbing potion is still on, so you get advantage on your athletics checks. But let's see what happens, folks. I'm looking for 27 between the two of you.
[dice roll]
Brandon: I got a 15 + 1 for 16.
Eric: A 16.
Amanda: And I got a 10.
Eric: Oh my god, you needed a 27!
Julia: Oh, by just one? There's nothing I can do.?I can't send Nonny down to help them a little bit? Nonny can as a familiar take actions either immediately before or after mine.
Eric: What can Nonny do? I guess–
Amanda: I just need 1, just need 1.
Eric: You know what, you know what happens? Cammie, Hondo says–
Eric (as Hondo): Hey, while you’re– I shouldn't do this, but you know the zombies were– zombies were unexpected. So why don't you just tell us your octopus your— your kelptopus in there. And it can stop up the sap at least.
Julia: Yes. So I think Nonny then is going to crawl out of the tea kettle and shlorp down and kind of just with her body, block up the gutter as much as possible for at least this turn.
Eric: Yeah, give me a constitution check of 10 to resist the flow of the sap.
Julia: Okay. [dice roll] 14.
Eric: Yeah. Alright. I give you the bonus, that is 2 climbing successes.
Julia: Thank God.
Amanda: We did it.
Brandon: Thank you, Nonny.
Amanda: Yeah, as we—as we pass the gutter. I'm happy to pluck Nonny out of the sap and help shake her off a little bit.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: Yeah, for sure. Alright, you only have—you have one left, the basin is filling up, you’ve got to do it, you have to do it. Time is running out. As you cheer me up, you're getting closer and closer to the zombies that are above you. You see that the beetle with the mold is actually climbing down to you.
Brandon: No!
Eric: It's going face-first down towards you, and he's getting a real good grip on the other wall even though it's doing this inverted while the sunflower is pulling out another seed from its face to throw down at you. At the same time, you might notice that there are some like vines that are kind of hanging down from the top of the cliff. They kind of extend 30 feet down to right where you are. If you do choose to do it, you can—you can grab onto those if you'd like.
Brandon: That seems like a trap.
Eric: I don't know.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Hondo is shrugging down at the bottom.
Amanda: Umbi and Troy trying to make eye contact shaking their heads. No way man.
Brandon: Or it's one of those things where Eric thinks we’ll think it's a trap but it's actually just like an escape hatch.
Eric: Who can say? Maybe I'm in your head, I’m in your head.
Brandon: I know.
Amanda: Well do we—do we even turn first before we climb again?
Eric: Yes, you have your turn, however Cammie does not.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Because you— you needed to cast the thing and then you're using the dash to get up. I will say Cammie 30 plus 60, and then 60 again is 120. You are now 20 feet above the cliff so you see what's going on.
Julia: I'm gonna go ahead and lower myself down, so I don't fall 20 feet when the spell ends, is that okay?
Eric: Yes. Cammie, you can— you can be up there. You are now at the top of the cliff, you can safely hang out there and you are nea—you can land wherever you want near the zombie sunflower that is currently about to throw another seed down at your—your friend climbing up.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Are you focused on the fight, or do you want to look around what's up there at the top of the cliff?
Julia: I mean, I'll look around is a free action?
Eric: Yeah. Do a perception check.
Julia: Yeah, I'm good at those. I'm not bad at those. Hold on. [dice roll] 15
Eric: Alright, there are more of these carved stone, kind of like on the lip of a very large pool inset into the top of the cliff like almost like, like a volcano but not a volcano. It's like at the top of this almost mountain is a pool—
Brandon: Like a basin.
Eric: Yeah, it’s a basin. Thank you, a basin is at the top of this thing. You also see that there are like other dark stone carvings around. You know, it's like there's a main kind of altar area and then there's stuff all around. Have like ru— almost ruins and columns and stuff as etchings and real stonework into it, but others is just kind of like as fallen over. But what you do see, what does catch your eye is a very large treasure chest. There's a treasure chest kind of in the altar area, and it is glowing. Like you have seen Amber glow before. Even in its cut-in-like crystallized form that you've seen traded for pirate favors. It still does glow a warm, whoa, Amber is the color of your energy vibe. But it's uncut form, which you assume is inside. It is just like sloshes, there's something inside of there that is glowing, even brighter than you've seen Amber before. So maybe ambergris you might assume. Ambergris glows even more before it's crystallized.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Uncut gems.
Julia: Wonderful.
Eric: Uncu—uncut amber.
Julia: Can Nonny take an action since that is part of the familiar thing?
Eric: Yeah. I wan—let's Nonny go last.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Because you—you kind of did that incidentally, while you got to the top—
Julia: Sure, sure, sure.
Eric: When you used your dash action.
Julia: Love it.
Eric: Troy, Umbi, what are you doing?
Brandon: Well, I'm gonna try another teleportation bomb, I think.
Eric: Okay, great.
Brandon: What's the AC again?
Eric: The AC is 13. Where do you want—where are you throwing this?
Brandon: Just to the top of the cliff. It's like we're 30—were 30 feet away, right?
Eric: It's 30 feet. So 30 feet would be like the lip of the cliff.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: And you know, because if you're throwing it diagonally that would be more distance. Throwing it up would be very close to the sunflower zombie.
Brandon: Yeah, I think that's what I got to do, though. I think I got to try to aim for the lip at the cliffs like at least get a handhold on it and then maybe work from there.
Eric: Yeah, do your thing. Alright, we—I will give you 13 for tossing that up there.
Brandon: Great.
Amanda (as Troy): I'll cover you, bruh.
Brandon: Ooh, your boy got a 22.
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: Oooohh.
Eric: Like mini golf putting into the hole that goes into another hole. You're just kind of like tossing up there and it lands delicately, right on the side of the cliff as you directly teleport over there. And you are now next to the sunflower zombie with like–
Eric (as Zombie Sunflower): Rrrrgh??
Brandon (as Umbi): I did it! I did it! Troy just did it!
Amanda: Troy is gonna be like,
Amanda (as Troy): I guess I'm covering you now. And he's gonna shoot another bolt, but this time at the sunflower.
Eric: Yeah, do it.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Okay, that is a 13 to hit.
Eric: That does hit. Armor class of 8, baby.
Amanda: Hell yeah dude.
Brandon: 8?
Eric: 8. They’re zombies, they're bad at it.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Okay, that is a nine.
Eric: That's nine damage does it. Arrow is just sticking right out of the—right side of the face of sunflower zombie.
Amanda: Is it holding anything? Is it holding a seed?
Eric: Yeah, it's holding a see—yeah, I did say it was holding a seed.
Amanda: Okay, so then I'm gonna use my third for a risk die and do a limb shot. Which means that I hit one of its limbs, attempting to force it to drop an item of my choice.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: The target must make a con saving throw, on a failed save, it drops the object I choose and the object lands at its feet.
Eric: I will say, Amanda, unfortunately, zombies have really good con because that's the only thing they're good at.
Amanda: Okay well the save here DC is 12.
[dice roll]
Eric: Alright. I rolled a two, so, it’s a– I guess through the face, it has its hand up to pull the seed out.
Amanda: Yeah like, pins the hand to the face.
Eric (as Zombie Sunflower): Rahhh.
Eric: But the beetle is bearing down on you and tries to push you off the cliff.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: I'm going to— let's do a strength contest.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: I have plus one.
Amanda: Same. [dice roll] It's an 8.
Eric: I have a 19.
Brandon: Shit!
Eric: Give me a dexterity saving throw for you to— to hold yourself back up.
Amanda: Okay. [dice roll] Alright, that's 14.
Eric: 14—
Brandon: That's okay.
Julia: Pretty good.
Eric: That's alright. You slide down the side of the cliff, and you still need to do one more climb check to get back up.
Amanda: Alright, let's do it.
Eric: But you're—you're still pretty far—you are farther away from the beetle, which is not as good at climbing even though it's doing it face-first down at you. The basin is filling up. You only have one more check to do this, but you do also need to get by the beetle.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: I'm gonna say this is a DC 15 check because you have to do it by yourself.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: But this is kind of all happening like at the same time. Does anyone else want to do anything?
Julia: Yes. So through Nonny, because one of the abilities that I have with the familiar is I'm able to cast a spell through you're familiar. I'm going to cast hideous laughter on the beetle.
Brandon: Oh, nice.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: So a creature of your choice that you can see within range perceives everything is hilariously funny and falls into a fit of laughter, if the spell affects it. The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw. Or fall prone, become incapacitated, unable to stand up for the duration.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: Incredible. Julia, can you believe my wisdom is -2 as a zombie?
Julia: Yeah, that’s right. That feels right.
Eric: Okay. Yep, I've rolled a 6.
Julia: Great.
Eric: What does it look like when you do hideous laughter as a tea witch?
Julia: This is gonna be freaky for Troy, but through Nonny, you hear jus—
Amanda: Who’s on my shoulder.
Julia: Yes, who's like clinging to your shoulder with her little—her little tentacles you just hear—God. You just hear Cammie go–
Julia (as Cammie): [creepy, echoing giggles] And that it spreads. Like, it echoes even though there—there should be no echo happening right now, and it bounces into the beetle which also starts laughing.
Amanda: Oh hell yeah.
Brandon: Incredible.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric: As the beetle starts vibrating with laughter, it loses its grip as he’s– oh, if it's falling prone make a Dexterity saving throw my man, Troy.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Well, that's a—that's only going to be a 6.
Brandon: No!
Julia: Can Nonny try to—to help grab Troy with a grapple?
Brandon: I think the beetle was slightly to the left.
Eric: That’s– Brandon, that's what the saving throw is for.
Amanda: Yeah, I wish, I wish. Yeah, no, that's—that's it, that's it.
Eric: That's it.
Amanda: That's all I got. It’s okay listen I–
Eric: Ugh, how does a—explain how does Nonny help?
Julia: So much like we tried to get Nonny to grapple and grab me when I fell and she failed terribly, that's just what I'm trying to do again. The likelihood of it passing is very low, but.
Eric: Alright, let's do another strength saving throw to hold Troy. I think both of you are similar weights. So I'm gonna say the same AC.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Amanda: Oh, yes.
Julia: So that is going to be a 19, with Nonny's -3. So that’s a 16.
Amanda: Okay, still good. Still pretty good.
Eric: With a 16. First of all, the beetle is going to fall on you, which does 4 points of bludgeoning damage, Troy.
Amanda: Sure, sure. Sure.
Julia: Could be worse.
Eric: And as your hands slip, and you were taken down by the weight of this beetle zombie, two kelpy tentacles reach out and give you just enough purchase for you to hold on to it.
Amanda (as Troy): Nonny, I'm really sorry, I called you a booger one time. I didn't mean it. You're the best.
[Nonny gurgles and purrs]
Amanda: I tickle her little tummy.
Eric: Umbi, do you want to do something?
Brandon: I think Umbi, inspired by Cammie's laughter, is going to throw a laughing gas bomb at this sunflower.
Julia: That's the thing you have? Incredible.
Brandon: That’s a thing I have, so it's basically almost the same thing. And I can also use a bonus action to remove the radius of a bomb.
Eric: I was just gonna say this, yeah.
Brandon: So it deals poison damage instead of fire damage, and requires a constitution saving throw instead of a dexterity throw.
Eric: Give me an attack roll, I need it. You got to beat an 8.
Brandon: An 8?
Eric: An 8, zombies bad AC.
Amanda: Brandon, you got this.
Julia: Brandon.
Brandon: I just got to get a 4 or more.
Eric: Uh-oh, uh-oh. No, he doesn't do it.
Amanda: He rolled a 3.
Eric: He rolled a 3.
Brandon: I rolled a 1 again, oh my god!
Amanda: Brandon, what the fuck?
Julia: Dice in jail. Jail forev—Brandon, take those dice, throw them away.
Eric: Hey, Brandon?
Brandon: Uh-huh.
Eric: Laughing gas, huh?
Brandon: Uh-huh.
Julia: Shit.
Eric: Make a constitution saving throw.
Brandon: [dice roll] 17.
Eric: Alright.
Brandon: That beats the target that you would have had to beat at least.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the idea, you toss it, and you fig— that you took enough out but it wasn't enough and it still has a radius of– because you're standing pretty close to it, so it still has a radius of 10 feet, and it goes up. Purple smoke goes everywhere. I like the idea that you have a gas mask on, and then like in Looney Tunes style the zombie also has a gas mask on and then pulls it out goes off [zombie sound]
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: And it's going to attack Umbi. Yeah, does an 11 hit you?
Brandon: No, I have 13.
Eric: Oh okay. So it tries to dive at you in the— in the— in the purple gas, but you get out of the way.
Brandon: You just had a standoff right now with the sunflower.
Eric: Yeah. Alright, Troy, the water basin is filling up, you got to get a 15 climbing check.
Amanda: Oh baby. I have plus four so it has to be an 11 or higher.
Julia: Come on Troy. Let's go, Troy.
Amanda: It's a two.
Brandon: NO!!!
Julia: Oh my gosh, why are we rolling like dog shit?
Eric: Don't you have—I thought you—you used to have the athletics from the climbing potion.
Brandon: Oh, yeah. You get advantage.
Amanda: Oh, that's right. [dice roll] a 13 plus four for 17.
Brandon: Yay!
Eric: There it is.
Brandon: Amanda did that for dramatic effect.
Brandon: Nope, I just fully forgot.
Eric: Alright, you scramble up to the top of the cliff, just as the water fills up the basin. And Hondo says
Eric (as Hondo): Right at the last second, the pirates get it, you beat the Sea Devil’s challenge.
Julia: Weeee!
Eric: You get to the top, Hondo climbs up the site, there's like divots in the side of the basin, that Hondo climbs up like a ladder.
Amanda: Rude.
Eric: And gets to the top and says,
Eric (as Hondo): You did it! You did it!
Eric: And starts jumping around and celebrating with you. And the zombie also jumps around and celebrates with you. But in a Scooby Doo way like you're all celebrating but then there's a zombie there.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Show us the treasure, please.
Brandon (as Umbi): There was a ladder?
Eric (as Hondo): Well not for— no, no that would be against the rule, it's for me.
Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck.
Amanda: Troy whispers loudly.
Amanda (as Troy): We are never coming back to Esca.
Julia (as Cammie): I honestly—the charm has kind of left this place for me.
Julia: Can I kill this zombie now?
Eric: Yes, yes you can. I rolled to see if the zombie would walk away without your notice. like—
Julia: Great. I'm gonna use an eldritch orb on it.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Yeah for sure.
Julia: 13 plus 7–
Eric: Yeah, that hits.
Julia: Or 13 plus four for a 17.
Eric: Yeah, it has an AC of eight.
Julia: Great.
Amanda: Great and after it's down, Troy's gonna walk over and collect both of his bolts.
Julia: Great. I rolled seven damage on it.
Eric: Yeah that does– it’s down, it’s dead. The orb blast the zombie—the zombie, the sunflowers zombie falls over. Troy you can pull your bolts out of it. Now you— now you're up here at the top.
Julia: Woo!
Amanda: Let's walk over to that chest.
Eric: Cool. Troy you stride—you walk over the chest, it's glowing Amber.
Amanda: I opened it up.
Eric: You open it up and inside is just it's sloshing ambergris. It kind of looks like when you put glitter in like soap and it's like a viscous liquid, and it goes back and forth with this is like a it's Amber and sparkly and just kind of sloshing around in the chest.
Amanda (as Troy): Anybody got a bottle? I just have my waterskin, I don't think it's really big enough for all this.
Julia: Cammie just holds up her tea kettle.
Amanda: Love it. And Troy is going to heft up the chest so I can pour it in.
Julia: There must be a better way of transporting this. Is this our first time getting ambergris, like what's happening here?
Eric: Yeah, I don't know if you've— I don't know if you've seen it before. If anyone wants to make a nature check or a history check, you can.
Julia: Sure. Oh, that's good.
Amanda: Terrible at both. Troy's about the here and now.
Julia: Alright, I'm gonna roll nature and that's a dirty 20.
Eric: Yeah, dirty 20. I mean, like, you know, ambergris is pretty rare because Amber is rare enough that it gets turned into currency. It's actually, you know what the dirty 20, I don't know if you knew this, but it's actually harvested from like, the– usually the bowels of ani— of like beasts and animals and stuff.
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Then you can use it for perfumes or for— or for oil lamps or for Moby Dick.
Julia: Checks out, make sense.
Brandon: I've got tons of vials and stuff, obviously. So I'll just—
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Pick up as much as I can.
Amanda: Yeah, let's take as much as we possibly can, including like in my waterskin.
Julia: In all of my teacups, every single tea cup.
Eric: Yeah, as the three of you go over to the big chest and start filling up your bottles. It's funny, it's actually a little bit harder than you think, because it's like the chest is moving a little bit. And it keeps like– it’s jerking back a little bit, and you hear from behind you—
Eric (as Hondo): I didn't want to tell you how we keep this island so pleasant.
Eric: As you turn around, and you see figures in dark blue robes walking towards you. And you see Hondo reaches out for a dark blue robe given to him by the tomato bartender from before.
Julia: God dammit, Jammy.
Eric: Says—
Eric (as Hondo): The Sea Devil keeps us safe, especially from pirates, and the chest pulls back and it's attached to an antennae which comes into focus and you see rows and rows of jagged teeth going in all directions. As a massive angler fish the size of a sailboat surfaces, showing all of the terrible barnacles growing on top of it and it opens its mouth and snaps at you.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm gonna have some words with Orello later.
[theme]