Hunt and dig down, folks, hunt and dig down
Wey hey, hunt and dig down
Dig so far down you’re at your hometown
So give me some time to hunt and dig down
Dive into the classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, the Skill Tree, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plants and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a Salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: The crew sails towards Legi Island and the book depository. But there's a long line out front. A new pirate queen named Tessie the Storm has taken over, setting up a toll booth for both the Book Depository and Lake Encounter: A quasi-religious strange theme park with the quotes “most accurate recreation of what we think the salmon and Infinite Lake looks like.” Unquote. As Cammie and Nonny scope out the line, Troy flirts with a jacked ear of maize corn, and everyone got yelled at by an equally old avocado Greenfolk. Umbi also ran into an old associate, Qi Razzmatazz, a renowned merchant from Overstalk. She was so tickled by running into a representative that she remembered from the old times that she paid Amber for VIP tickets for herself and the crew of the Sea Whip. And everyone was led in with white glove service. Welcome to the bookiest place on Earth. Let's get the party started.
Eric (as Bookie): [on PA system] Welcome to the Book Depository, folks. Just come on in and learn as much as you can. But also enjoy yourself, but also get to readin’. But al [laughs]—but also check out the five establishments that we have here, are Book Depository Island. And thank our lucky stars for Tessie the Storm, for keeping everyone safe. I'm the mascot, Bookie the book.
Brandon (as Umbi): [whispers] Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah?
Brandon (as Umbi): I left my readers on the boat.
Julia (as Cammie): That's— alright, I'll see what I can do. I'm sure we could find them. We can fi— I'm sure as part of merchandise sales here, they must sell readers. There's no way that they wouldn't, right?
Eric: You turn to your left and there's a stand that says readers, readers, readers.
Julia (as Cammie): There you go. I know you didn't see it Umb, because you didn't have your readers on.
Amanda (as Troy): I didn't know this many people knew how to read. It’s awesome. It's like why didn't they give us books when we were like in the dormitory, like in the Crags training, like that would have been amazing.
Brandon (as Umbi): Did they know it?
Julia (as Cammie): Or before that would also probably have been very good for your brain.
Brandon (as Umbi): Did they don't have books at school?
Amanda (as Troy): Nah.
Brandon (as Umbi): How did you learn things?
Amanda (as Troy): Is the family trees of all the— of all the ruling families and whatnot.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's what you learn?
Julia (as Cammie): You wouldn't have to be—you would have to be able to read in order to read those, right?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, but there wasn't like stories. It was— it was just like their names and stuff.
Julia (as Cammie): Right, right.
Brandon (as Umbi): You just memorize the look of their names. There’s no pleasure reading there.
Amanda (as Troy): Gotcha. And there's, you know, rich tradition on political cartoons, let me tell you over down the Crags. Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): That explains a lot, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): The number of people who have really focused on Hyperion's lack of hair, it's a lot.
Brandon (as Umbi): I did not think you were gonna say lack of hair.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: He has low T, that's why he's so tired all the time.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, I just want you to know we're not judging you. We're here to help your journey of knowledge and discovery via books if you'd like.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, no, we're friends.
Brandon (as Umbi): Great. Cool.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, I am truly so excited to buy you as many books as you want while we're here.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa, like three?
Julia (as Cammie): Yes!
Brandon (as Umbi): Is that how many numbers they taught—
Julia (as Cammie): Or more!
Brandon (as Umbi): —you at school?
Amanda (as Troy): God, I wish.
Eric (as Qi Razzmattazz): You need to have a classical education. I li— understand what Troy Riptide is going through. Honestly, I can identify any of my great great grandparents just by the look, but I pay for someone to do my adding for me.
Amanda (as Troy): Razz, they had books when you were little?
Eric (as Qi Razzmatazz): Of course, but honestly, what do you mean book, it's more like they just put a bunch of Greenfolk next to each other and they wro—read me a story and I got to read out the fronts of their backs. And do I guess we call that a book, it was more like storytime.
Amanda (as Troy): So what's—what's your favorite thing to visit here?
Eric (as Qi Razzmattaz): Oh, I don't have much time to spend doing the fli— the frivolities and the fun ti— and the fun things and waiting on lines and getting—getting free hats and uh—
Amanda (as Troy): Free hats?
Eric (as Qi Razzmatazz —and buy-- and eating treats in the shape of a—of a book and or also a spider, but I'm usually just here for business.
Julia (as Cammie): So Senator, Alderman, I don't know what your title is.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah? Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): What are you here to do? What's up— what's up Umbi?
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Julia (as Cammie): What?
Brandon (as Troy): What?
Eric (as Qi Razzmatazz): Well, you know it's just easier for me to get to the front of the line. If I— if I spend the— if I spend my way through you know, it's kind of just more of a fast, speedy line thing situation. And then they give you a wristband which is nice—which is nice, just makes everything helpful. And just yeah, as I go in and out and look around to the book depository and see if there's anything that could work for-- As I dis—as I distribute it across the various four countries. Yeah, you don't want to hear me go on about this and all. You—you kids have fun.
Julia (as Cammie): That— that was a great answer to not the question that I asked, but okay.
Eric (as Qi Razzmattaz): Wha— I wasn't paying attention, I was thinking about my own things. Goodbye.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay! Thank you for the lack of information you gave us. Goodbye.
Eric (as Qi Razzmattaz): Goodbye. Goodbye, patsy!
Eric: As she walks away.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, she's the opposite of a book. She's like a void of information, books are like, like a wellspring of information.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Like you know the sauna at the Hold?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): That's what books are like.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah, that's true.
Amanda (as Troy): You get really pruney?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, exactly.
Julia (as Cammie): Sometimes.
Brandon (as Umbi): Did we leave the doctor on the boat?
Julia (as Cammie): No, Havana Tropicana's here, right?
Julia: Cammie looks around.
Amanda: Look behind us, Havana. Tropicana is yelling—
Amanda (as Havana Tropicana): I know I'm a man, but does anybody have a book on medicine?!
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Shit.
Eric: Yup. So yeah, we're here on Book Depository Island here. Or the Book Depository formally, Legi Island. Bookie introduced themselves over the loudspeakers.
Brandon: Oh, Bookie's not there?
Eric: No, it's just— that was just the voice of Bookie.
Brandon: Oh, we don't get to see Bookie? I want to see Bookie.
Eric: Oh, Bookie’s around. You know, bookies around.
Julia: I’m sure we’ll get to see a Bookie.
Brandon: Okay, okay.
Julia: That's like going to Disney World and be like, oh, I don't get to see Mickey? Come on, Brandon.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: Come on, Brandon.
Eric: There's a special Bookie as well. You can see leather-bound Bookie.
Amanda: Ooohh.
Julia: 50th anniversary Bookie.
Brandon: There’s Sports Bookie.
Eric: Around Halloween Bookie’s covered in Greenfolk skin.
Julia: Yeah, wow.
Eric: Like vegan leather, it's gross. Yeah, y'all get the walk around. Now that you're here in the VIP docking entrance. It's like being at the front of an amusement park as people are streaming past you. As I explained it before, the Book Depository is a very large brick building that y'all can kind of just walk on through. There's like a secret VIP entrance that a rapscallion pirate has kind of just like holding the door open for you, and it says VIP in big letters.
Julia: Sweet.
Eric: And also there's the various things here on Book Depository Island, there stands, there's little shops, and there's more if you would, depending on what y'all would like to do. Also, if you would like to go to Lake Encounter, this is like Disney World and then Great Adventure. You can kind of just like hop over there and you don't have to leave the toll, but you can—you can just hop on your— your boat and sail over there.
Julia: Um, Eric?
Eric: Yeah, dude?
Julia: This is a theme park, right?
Eric: Uh, vaguely. There's definitely not like rides or anything.
Julia: No, no, I know. Yeah.
Eric: And it is not like—listen, this isn't Six Flags. I think it's something closer to what we understand, maybe Disney. It's kind of like an amalgam of this on one island, right? Like there aren't rides necessarily, but there sure are a lot of like celebrations and things around the Book Depository. There's a mascot and a bunch of T-shirts.
Amanda: Like the mall of America.
Eric: Like there's the—thematic. Yes, I think it might—I guess going back to the original thing, yes, it's a theme park, you're right.
Julia: Alright. More the reason I was asking was, all theme parks have maps, like the paper maps that you can fold and unfold and stuff like that. I want to find one of those.
Eric: Absitively that's really good because you're walking up to Medieval Bookie. Bookie is wearing a Viking hat and he's holding a mace. And it's just a real big book with big eyes, and it's definitely an oversized mascot costume. And there is definitely a Greenfolk inside.
Eric (as Bookie): Forsooth ya—young pirates. Yar, how can I help you? In the olden times, as I am Bookie.
Julia (as Cammie): Avast ye, Bookie, can you tell us where we can find a map?
Eric (as Cammie): Absitively. I happen to have one right here, forsooth.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, thank you.
Eric: Holds out a map for you.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.
Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, do you know him?
Brandon (as Umbi): The book?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. Also old.
Julia (as Cammie): He's very old.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I see. I see now. No, just because all people are old, doesn't mean we all know each oth—well, that's not true. We do mostly know each other. There is like a conference.
Julia: I was gonna say you have an actual thing that does that. Mechanically.
Amanda: Troy hugs Bookie.
Eric (as Bookie): Oh, young passenger, of course. Bookie is always here for hugs.
Amanda (as Troy): What's your favorite book?
Eric (as Bookie): Myself.
Amanda (as Troy): Great. I love that. If there was book about me, it'd be my favorite too.
Eric (as Bookie): Absolutely. What's your name, pirate friend?
Amanda (as Troy): It's Troy Riptide.
Eric (as Bookie): Troy Riptide, here's a sticker.
Amanda: What is the sticker of?!
Eric: It's of Bookie.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: And it says have a booktastic day.
Amanda: Troy sticks it on the quiver of his crossbow.
Eric (as Bookie): I wouldn't advise that, but I like it.
Amanda: Troy gives a thumbs up.
Eric (as Bookie): No shooting of any—any sorts of persons here on Book Depository Island.
Amanda (as Troy): Nah, it's just part of the outfit, you know what I mean?
Eric (as Bookie): It's a bookie rule.
Amanda (as Troy): Sure.
Julia: It's a Bookie rule, alright.
Eric (as Bookie): Oh, were you three coming in through the VIP entrance?
Julia (as Cammie): Yes!
Amanda (as Troy): Very into pages? I think so.
Eric (as Bookie): Oh, we gotta give you a special speed bracelet.
Amanda (as Troy): Nice.
Brandon (as Umbi): Awesome.
Julia (as Cammie): I would love one.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yes, please.
Eric: Yeah. Bookie reaches into his pockets, question mark? And—
Julia: His pages. Eric, his pages, come on.
Eric: Oh, is that worse? I think that's worse.
Julia: It is.
Amanda: A little bit, yeah.
Eric: He's like he's reaching into his cleavage and pulling out these bracelets.
Julia: Side cleavage.
Eric: Yeah, his page cleavage. He gives you three bracelets that have a picture of Bookie on it, but Bookie kind of ha—like a— has a lightning bolt on his chest.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Julia: I'm just like real quick because I'm an anxious person. I'm gonna do an Arcana check on these bracelets, make sure there's nothing hinky about them.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: I was gonna do the same thing.
Eric: Neato..
Julia: First roll the dice is good. I got new dice for the listeners.
Brandon: Oh, yeah.
Julia: I'm very excited about it. Arcana is plus 3, so that's a 22.
Eric: Oh, it’s that new dice smell, 22.
Julia: It does kind of smell like plastic, but that’s okay.
Eric: What are you looking for? What do you do when you try to figure out if something's magical?
Julia (as Cammie): I poke at it a lot.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Cool. Give me--
Julia (as Cammie): And sniff it.
Eric: Consistent— like consistency?
Julia: I think olfactory—
Eric: Sure.
Julia: —is very much where Cammie's sense of Arcana and magic is. Like you know, you smell a tea and you know what kind of tea it is, right?
Amanda: You get your nose really in the bowl of the wineglass.
Eric: I love that.
Julia: Exactly. So they know all of the different floral notes of different types of magic and stuff.
Eric: Julia, I will need some Foley of you immediately receiving a bracelet and then sniffing it deeply.
Brandon: I—I'm gonna pass Julia, I don't want to hear that.
Julia: That's fine. Yeah, I'm still getting over my cold a little, it's gonna sound gross.
Eric: Okay, here we go. I'll do it for you. This is what-- this is Julia doing it. It's like— it's like Julia goes and gets [sniffs]
Julia: And now Brandon has to listen to that multiple times.
Eric: Brandon, you can use that for anything.
Brandon: Thank you.
Eric: Hey, Julia, what is location tracking smell like?
Julia: I think it smells like fake pine trees.
Eric: Yeah, dude. It definitely smells like a car air freshener.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: There's a location magic tracking on this, so you know where you are in the park. Now with a 22, maybe it does enter your psyche about whether or not this is how you're supposed to get into the front of lines, I guess? If that’s the only way to do it, but it sure doesn't feel good.
Amanda: Yeah, like the RFID thing where you can pay for your ice cream cone by like waving your wrist, and like it does go to your hotel bill, but like at what cost?
Eric: Right, yeah. So you would see that if you ask someone about this, they'd say, Well, this is how it works at a theme park. And then you would say I don't like that you know where my location is.
Julia: Cammie is going to sniff the bracelet, go—
Julia (as Cammie): [sniffs] Thank you, Bookie. Thank you so, so much, and we're gonna have a wonderful day here at the Book Depository.
Eric (as Bookie): Can I make a suggestion of you have a good booktastic day?
Julia (as Cammie): You know what, you may.
Julia: Then Cammie walks away.
Eric (as Bookie): Alright.
Amanda (as Troy): You know, every day in my life since I got that book on barrels, has been a booktastic day, I'm not gonna lie.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm so happy for you Troy.
Brandon: Cammie, does Bookie have that old book smell, that like delightful old library book smell? Now that you're smelling things you know?
Julia: Now that I'm all about the smells, uh does Bookie, Eric?
Eric: Yeah, absolutely. And Cammie, old book smell does remind you of resurrection magic.
Julia (as Cammie): Uhh... Ummm...
Brandon: Is it a dead book?
Julia: Is it the same scent as say, the zombies on Esca Island?
Eric: Hmm, good—good question, good question.
Brandon: Just to be clear, doesn't smell like Umbi for the audience.
Julia: Doesn't smell like green bell peppers. We know, Brandon.
Eric: No, this is a different smell.
Julia: Okay. Alright. Cool.
Eric: Yeah. I would say that like it's kind of nice.
Julia: Nice resurrection magic?
Eric: Yeah, I would say it's nice resurrection magic. The difference between something rotting and something being old, which some might say is still rotting. I mean, that's what old books smell is— is. It's like—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: The book is decaying, right? But it smells—it smells nice, almost.
Julia: But there's something different between like necrotic and like maybe celestial if we were getting into those labelings.
Eric: Yeah, maybe, maybe.
Julia: Okay, interesting. I think Cammie's going to put arms around her companions and walk them away from the book.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay, okay.
Julia: And be like—
Julia (as Cammie): Alright, quick—quick debrief.
Brandon (as Umbi): Tea-brief?
Julia (as Cammie): Would anyone like—would anyone like a cup of tea?
Brandon (as Umbi): Is that what you said, or it's just—that just—
Julia: You know I was about to say that, and then you said tea-brief. And then I said you know what, we're already into it, let's do it.
Amanda: Always.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright.
Julia: I think Cammie puts them like on a bench like we're like, you know normally a child would eat an ice cream cone but instead we're going to look at this map and also Cammie is going to say—
Julia (as Cammie): So.
Eric: There's a very young Maple Leaf child sitting on the— on the bench eating a ice cream cone, and then sees you coming and runs away.
Julia: Fair enough.
Brandon (as Umbi): Bye kid.
Eric (as A kid): Aaaaah.
Brandon (as Umbi): No running.
Eric (as A Kid): Aaaaah [coughs]
Eric: And then falls and drops ice cream.
Brandon: Oh no.
Julia: Oh, great.
Amanda: As we’re moving over, can Troy just take a look around, like are we—are we walking into the Book Depository at this point, or are we kind of outside the— the VIP entrance?
Eric: It's the entrance to everything.
Amanda: Right, right, like the front gates.
Eric: And—yes, this is—this would be like wha— you are right inside of the front gates of a theme park. Where like it's a real no man's land, and nothing's happened yet but it's the mouth of everything.
Julia: We haven't gone through the tunnel in Disney World yet, but we got through security.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: Gotcha.
Amanda: Just before we sit, can Troy just like look around and get a lay of the land vis a vis like exits and stuff?
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: That's a 16 minus 1 perception.
Eric: I didn't know you had minus 1 perception, that's very funny.
Amanda: Oh, I sure do. Troy's got negative one to wisdom.
Eric: Cool, cool, cool.
Julia: That checked out, that makes sense.
Eric: Yeah. 15 I—
Amanda: How’s this structured? What's the crowd flow, and if we needed to make a hasty exit back to the parking lot, the docks, what would our options be?
Eric: Oh, sure. I mean, I-- actually the VIP parking lot is rather easy to access both from the theme park area and also the Book Depository itself because it's supposed to be in like a good spot.
Amanda: Got it.
Eric: So it's actually you could get back there, but like there's no— you don't see like a fire escape, you know what I mean?
Amanda: Okay. I just want more to like, mark the location in my mind and sort of orient myself to where the building is and where the parking lot is.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Amanda: Alright. Troy follows Cammie.
Julia: Alright. Cammie sit everyone down on the bench, pours cups of tea for everyone, and is like—
Julia (as Cammie): Alright. So, I have some information. Bracelets, tracking information.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohh.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa, that's not cool.
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, yes, I agree, not cool. Concerned that a pirate queen may at any point know where we are, not ideal. Secondly, the book smells like resurrection magic, not sure how I feel about that. It's not bad, necessarily, but not sure how I feel about it in general.
Brandon (as Umbi): The book died?
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know. Maybe the person inside died and now there were resurrected as—
Brandon (as Umbi): There's someone inside?
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, fuck.
Eric: I would love it if all of you made history checks really quickly.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Cammie, you can make Arcana if you would like.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, I'm just fucking with you. I know there's no one inside.
Julia: Oh, that's not good.
Eric (as Umbi): I've seen a lot of sentient books my day.
Amanda: 10.
Julia: Only a 7 for me.
Brandon (as Umbi): 21, baby.
Julia: Oh, fuck yeah, man. The old man knows everything.
Eric: That makes sense. Troy, is it weird for you to hear that someone got resurrected?
Amanda (as Troy): Nah, man, people’s dying all the time. People get resurrected all the time, it happens.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda (as Troy): Life on the Crags.
Eric: Cool. Cammie, is it weird for you, that someone-- that you heard that someone got resurrected?
Julia (as Cammie): No, I don't think so.
Eric: Cool. Cool.
Julia: Alright.
Eric: Yeah. Hey, Umbi, let's have a conversation. Is it weird for you that someone got resurrected?
Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck yes, it's weird.
Eric: Cool. Great. Yeah, I wanted to say that, let's have a— because Brandon rolled high enough, Brandon, let's have a conversation about the history of magic and existence of magic in this world.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: What— what— I'd like to say. Yeah, I think it might be a little weird honestly. Troy and Cammie have had very specific lives. But I don't think that like-- you know, when someone dies, they go to the mulch pile, my man. I think it's definitely odd that someone would be resurrection. Regardless of whether or not Cammie can smell resurrection, it is weird that someone died and came back to life for sure.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric: For sure, it is.
Brandon (as Umbi): What is this, Fruit Jesus?
Amanda (as Troy): That's not the planter's way.
Eric: Yeah. The planter wants you to— the pla—there's a distinct cycle, you go from seed to thing, and then you go and then you mulch, that's it.
Brandon (as Umbi): I have heard of, like reincarnation, but that's like a soul thing. Like a seed thing, you know?
Eric: Yeah, for sure, absitively.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): And it's much more complicated when you really think about how the things that we eat here in the world are also the same things that make up us, as people.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, we—we talked about never talking about that. And like respectfully, you should like talk about that with a book, not—not with me.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, you don— we'll talk about that-- it's fine.
Julia (as Cammie): I ate a peach with a nose once. Anyway.
Eric: True. True. Yeah, I would say magic is weird, magic is definitely weird. And it gets a little more frequent here on the— on the Great Salt Sea, but like weird stuff pops up, but like I didn't know that you— there were like, resurrection things. Magic seems hard, right? You got to do like rituals and doing it, or someone's touched by a god you've never heard— heard about. It's not easy to do or it's exemplary, is my understanding of magic here on Verda Stello.
Amanda: Yeah, so why have it be like a mascot of a theme park?
Eric: Yeah, so I'll give you that with a 21 to history, my man.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks.
Eric: For your lived experience.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Eric, Eric Silver of the podcast Join the Party, thank you.
Eric: Umbi, you can't see me. Go to sleep.
Julia: Go to sleep. Shh.
Amanda (as Troy): So should we like hang on to these bracelets, make it look like we're going somewhere, and then at the first opportunity like loop it onto someone you know that, that we're not if we want to like break away?
Brandon (as Umbi): Like a child, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): I think that's a great idea. Let's—how about we go places that we do want to go. And then we could do that when we don't want to be found.
Brandon (as Umbi): Smart.
Amanda (as Troy): Dig it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Smart.
Amanda (as Troy): Subterfuge. Love it.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon: That's thinking with your— oh, what's inside of a tea bush?
Brandon (as Umbi): That's thinking with your roots.
Julia: Yep.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Alright.
Julia (as Cammie): So speaking of where we want to go—
Julia: Unfolds map.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: Yay!
Julia (as Cammie): Where do we want to go?
Eric: As you unfurl the map, it's pretty cartoony. it's one of my— my favorite at amusement parks is like, hey, we would love to tell you where things are, but instead, we're going to draw a cartoon that makes everything look really nice. So there's like a sun with sunglasses on. There's like a bunch of books and Bookie leading a tour through the entire island. There's like, cartoon Tessie the Storm giving like a thumbs up with five of her arms. So yeah, there's a—there's certainly a lot of like stores and little like kiosks, and places you can get shirts and everything. But there's one specific thing that stands out to you, which is Crimson's Exchange. Crimson’s Exchange is the good-time bar and restaurant that is very heavily advertised here on the map. And inside of the book depository, you can see that the VIP entrance is very well-marked. You gotta walk like all the way around for the regular entrance to the Book Depository. And there's like—there's a little Tess-- chibi Tessie the Storm that says—
Eric (as Tessie the Storm): Make sure to get online 30 minutes earlier, then you'll miss your chance to buy some books. Or sell some books, or do whatever with books. I don't know, I can't read.
Eric: So the VIP entrance is—is marked. And then there's a thing under that says, Feel free to buy a VIP pass, just ask the attendant at the VIP entrance, they'll give you more details of the fabulous things you get with your very important personnel pass.
Brandon: Very important plant.
Eric: Very important. Thank you, Brandon, very important plant.
Julia: Gotcha.
Amanda: Very into pages, that's us
Eric: Very, very into pages pass. Yes.
Brandon: Very into pages.
Julia: Right.
Amanda (as Troy): So did our entrance fee that we definitely paid with money we earned, come with any free books or was that just for the parking?
Eric: Yeah, before Razz walked away doing her own thing, she gave you a little piece of paper that had all like the cool stuff that you get, that's part of the VIP. And I would love each of you to tell me one thing that you get with your VIP pass.
Julia: Free refillable drinks?
Eric: Boom. Free refillable drinks with special plastic--
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Tessie the Storm curly straw. Yeah.
Julia: I love that.
Brandon: One-on-one autograph, photograph time with Bookie. A Bookie of your choice.
Eric: Oh, that's very true. It's funny because that is in large letters and then right below that is special one on one time with Tessie the Storm as well. But they're advertising the Bookie stuff larger.
Julia: Wait, we can meet Tessie the Storm? I want to do that.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yes, it's advertised as a moment with Tessie the Storm—
Brandon: [sings] A moment with Tessie.
Eric: —and every VIP—of ev— that every VIP, very important plant gets, as well as there's a catered dinner that you can all go to that maybe Tessie will show up to.
Amanda: I was gonna say free appetizer if you go to the country bar and restaurant.
Eric: The country bar and restaurant?
Amanda: What was it called? The Crimson's Exchange?
Eric: Oh, the Crimson’s Exchange. Yes, you do get the— I have written down, you have dri— you do get drink tickets.
Amanda: There you go.
Eric: Everyone gets one drink ticket there. Amanda wants drink tickets, she gets drink tickets. Everyone gets one spec-- one drink ticket for the Crimson’s Exchange.
Brandon: I heard appetizer and drink tickets is what I heard. Appetizer and drink, please.
Eric: Yeah, you get one appetizer and one drink, that's right. It's on the—it's on the same coupon.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: Yeah, those are all the things you get on—with your very important play pass.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Well, listen. I think that, knowing myself as I do through the years. I can have a lot of fun here, but I want to make sure we focus on the mission first.
Julia (as Cammie): Right.
Eric: Oh, one last thing at the bottom it says, access to the good books.
Julia (as Cammie): Good. Good. I like good books.
Brandon (as Umbi): Like first editions.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know if that's what they mean here.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohh.
Eric: It sure is, it’s capital G good, good book.
Julia: It's Good TM books.
Eric: Yeah, good TM books. It's a— it's like a card value system where you submit is like, this chars are— it's all fucked up, it's just good.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. So they're valuable, but they've been chewed on
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Same.
Eric: For sure. But yeah, what would you all like to do here on book depo—the Book Depository getaway?
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, we've got to check out the book depository section.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, sure.
Julia (as Cammie): That's number one on our list, I would say. And then I would also love to meet the— the pirate queen who's in charge here because I both like and dislike her vibe. And I want to know why there's resurrection magic happening here.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, man you don’t want to meet Bookie?
Julia (as Cammie): I just met Bookie, and he seemed great.
Brandon (as Umbi): I thought we could do like the—
Brandon: Hmm, what kind of Bookie— what kind of Bookie—what kind of Bookie do I want to do.
Eric: 70's Bookie.
Brandon: I was gonna say--
Amanda (as Troy): It's still Bookie.
Brandon: You don’t want to meet the Neon 80s, Bookie? What about the 70s bell bottoms era Bookie?
Julia (as Cammie): All great options.
Amanda: Yeah, I think Troy is just like—
Amanda (as Troy): Uhhhh, break!
Amanda: And then starts walking towards the depository to go buy books.
Julia: And Cammie's like—
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, your tea!
Amanda: Nah, Troy's going.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, best cup yet.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you. Thank you. Umbi
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright. Yeah, you're walking over, you're going to the VIP line. The VIP line has no one there. There are so many security guards doing absolutely nothing. They just stand there as you walk right through. Inside of the Book Depository, it feels almost cavernous. It is dry but dank at the same time. Sounds echo off of the brick, inside just bouncing from one thing to another, only to be absorbed by the many, many, many stacks of books that are just everywhere inside. No matter where you’re-- where you're looking, it's just like a stack of books here, a stack of books there. Here a book, there a book, everywhere a book, book. If it was a cave, there would be stalagmites and stalactites of books on shelves up and then shelves down and these are all just like scattered through the various hallways. It seems like someone said that the decor was going to be ”I don’t know, just make it out of books, it's fine.”
Amanda: Is there a info desk or like a librarian that we can talk to?
Eric: Yes, of course. Right in the front there is an info desk. Sitting at the front is— [rolls dice] is a pine tree person. Pines everywhere. I think this person is a little bit more humanoid. So it's like shaped like a human but just covered in pine needles everywhere.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Like full hands, full legs, full like human face. With just hair of pine needles and like kind of the flapper dress sheets.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Then there are a lot of layers.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Good.
Eric: Well you also notice about the person at the info desk, is that there seems to be a blindfold around their eyes, as you get closer looks like spider silk. Like it's been wrapped around enough that they fully covers their eyes like a blindfold.
Amanda: Ah, Eric the fucking haunting image love it.
Amanda (as Troy): Hello, hi, we're some—some very important customers here to buy some books.
Eric (as Piney): Hey, yeah. Welcome to the Book Depository. Can I see your—your speed— your speed bracelets?
Julia (as Cammie): Can you?
Julia: And then Cammie holds her—hers up.
Amanda: Yeah Troy's, he hasn't put it on, but he's holding in his hand.
Eric (as Piney): Hey, can you move it around a little bit?
Julia: Cammie waves it.
Amanda: Troy like zhuzh’s it
Eric (as Piney): Yeah, do it a little bit more and one of your jangle.
Julia (as Cammie): Jingle, jangle, jingle, jangle.
Eric (as Piney): Jingle jangl– alright, yeah. It seems uh, yeah, you got your speed bracelets. Alright, welcome to the VIP section. I'm definitely here to answer all of your informational questions as the Informational Help for you here today.
Amanda (as Troy): I hope it's not rude for me to ask, are you like not allowed read at work?
Eric (as Piney): Yeah, I read too much. And that's why I got this. You're right, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Is that true?
Eric (as Piney): It's true.
Julia (as Cammie): Tro—Troy? Just—just to put it
Eric (as Piney): Aren’t all stories true when you--
Julia: Cammie pulls this pine tree person to the side.
Julia (as Cammie): Listen, Troy is just starting to find his love for books. And I don't want you scaring him away thinking if you read too many books, something bad is gonna happen to him.
Eric (as Piney): Ohh [laughs]
Julia (as Cammie): He's— he's like, no, I'm not gonna say that. I was gonna say he's like a child, but he's not. He's like a full-ass-grown man.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): But when it comes to reading, he's new to the world.
Eric (as Piney): Impres-- Yeah. Really, really, really impressionable like, yeah, I understand.
Julia (as Cammie): He's a new soul.
Eric (as Piney): No, something else happened to me, and that's why I do this. I read—I read just fine.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, wait.
Julia (as Cammie): See Troy, books are good.
Amanda (as Troy): No, totally, I just— I wanted to know because my— my friend, my crewmate Cammie over here, real good at you know, making people feel— feel nice with the—with the tea that they make. So if you know if— if that was painful, I just want it to be like, hey, like I also have a job and I know that it can be tough to like go for breaks.
Eric (as Piney): I really appreciate the consideration. It's not something I'm worried about, you shouldn't worry about it either, it's totally fine.
Amanda (as Troy): Tight, tight, tight.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Cool.
Eric: (as Piney): Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: (as Troy): Where—where's—where's all your like journals and like, books that weren't like meant to be books, but like, you know, people wrote ‘em and then they were like, oh, this is a book. And that's—that's what I'm really into is like, books that they didn't know was gonna be books and then—and then people like wrote them and they died and whatever then— then now I suppose. I'm working on one.
Eric (as Piney): Accidental literature. Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Piney): Let me look that up. Alright.
Eric: You look behind the big—the informational desk, there's like a giant card catalog as far— as far as the eye as it goes up and wide, as far as the eye can see.
Julia: The dream.
Eric: There's a real Belle from Beauty and the Beast style library ladder that said swooshes one way or another on a track. And the pine tree Greenfolk hops on it. It's almost like they're swimming through by just pulling themselves on all the card catalogs and opens a—
Eric (as Piney): Alright, the accidental category. What specifically are you looking for?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, just any inspiration you know, I'm— I'm a traveler myself and so I'm looking for some you know, some inspirations about what my— what my memoirs might look like.
Amanda: Troy looks at the word memoir on the wall.
Julia: I was gonna say like he knows that word, wow.
Brandon: I was gonna say and he pronounced it correctly? Mo—momor—Me—moirs.
Eric: Memoirs.
Julia: Memoirs.
Amanda: Guys, Troy speaks French, don't be rude.
Julia: French is a Cragish language, we figured it out.
Eric: It's like—
Eric (as Piney): [mumbles] Can you be a little bit more specific, we have Victorious— Victorious accidental literature. We have tragic accidental literature. We have saved accidental literature. Can you be a little bit more specific? Because I can just— I can—you can just go to the general—general—you could go to the big room, I guess, if you want.
Brandon: Does the tragic accident literature just like trail off at the end?
Julia: That might be what we're looking for. Because we are looking for like Infinite Lake stuff. And anyone who came back from that I imagine wouldn't have had accidental literature.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, I'm looking for like a—like a mystery, like not finished you know? Like what's going on with that, like that.
Eric (as Piney): Would you like if while they will writing, there's like— they write ah at the end or it just kind of ends.
Amanda (as Troy): You’re hilarious man.
Eric (as Piney): I'm not trying to be—I'm not trying to be funny. I'm just very thorough in my job.
Amanda (as Troy): Nah it's great, love it.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, as a pirate yourself, you probably want ones that are focused on things and events that happened on the Great Salt Sea, right?
Brandon (as Umbi): That sounds really good.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh yeah, no. Good plan, good plan.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Piney): Alright. Well, I think that you should just take a look in the big book room. We don't have anything specifically about Great Salt Sea accidental literature. You're always welcome to take a look around. Of course, just because it hasn't been cataloged doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. We just haven't had a chance to put it in there. Or maybe someone dropped it off recently or it got lost or—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, where—where you keep all those guys?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, you get it into the big room, you just go around to the right and take a left, you see—you'll see the big doors.
Amanda (as Troy): Tight.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Piney): Do you just have follow-up questions that I do need to ask before you go in there? What way are you thinking all to be reading these books while you're here?
Brandon (as Umbi): What way?
Amanda (as Troy): There's more than one way?
Julia (as Cammie): The normal way.
Brandon (as Umbi): With my eyeballs.
Eric (as Piney): Okay, the normal way with your eyeballs. Good, very good.
Julia (as Cammie): Are there ways that aren't allowed to read the books?
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, you can read it with your fingertips, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): That's true.
Amanda (as Troy): True. True.
Julia (as Cammie): You can also read with your fingertips, you could listen to it. Do you have audiobook selection?
Amanda (as Troy): Read with your ears, yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Audiobooks?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah we have an audi—we have an audiobook section here at the Book Depository, it's not worth much. Somebody—somebody says a story into a bottle and then throws it in there. Listen, as very important plants, it's my job to cater to as much-- yeah it’s my job to cater to any of the sort of various ways you could be reading or not reading. But if you're doing in the normal way, that's fine. That's absolutely fine.
Julia (as Cammie): I just want to cover our bases. Are there ways that we shouldn't be reading?
Eric (as Piney): There is no way for you not to be reading. If there's specific ways you are reading, it is up to me to-- It is up to me to accommodate that one way or another.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, so it's about accommodation, not banned practices.
Eric (as Piney): No ban pra—absolutely no banned practices. So you can read however you want it. But if there are ways that you're reading that are non-traditional, I just wanted to have—be able to help you with that. My job is customer service mostly.
Julia (as Cammie): I can see that, you're very good at it.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Piney): Thank you. I just I ove— I feel like I'm over talk. I'm semi-overexplaining, which actually does need some more confusion—
Amanda (as Troy): No, no, you're great—you're great.
Brandon (as Umbi): How do—how do some other folks like to— to adjust the literature?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, yeah, they.
Julia (as Cammie): Don’t ingest the literature, you can’t eat the books.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's just mentally.
Eric (as Piney): If you're going to eat— if you're going to read the literature by digestion, you will need to buy the books first.
Brandon (as Umbi): Right, yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): That makes sense.
Amanda (as Troy): Totally.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah, that's just our policy of the Book Depository. That's— our— that's Tessie the Storm’s policy of the Book Depository.
Brandon (as Umbi): Make sense.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. When—when I was a grub and I went through my—my great transformation, my parents did put in some like balls, hoping that I would become a great athlete, and I did not. Maybe in the future, you could put a book in there. And then, you know, it'll like—it'll like-- everyone— everything becomes goo. And so if the book also becomes goo, and maybe, you know, books in you when it come out.
Brandon (as Umbi): Maybe.
Eric (as Piney): That's interesting.
Julia (as Cammie); Yeah.
Eric: (as Piney): I never thought about it like that.
Julia (as Cammie): I think you are a wonderful athlete.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think shooting’s a sport, it makes sense.
Julia (as Cammie): If there was a Olympics on this world, I'm sure you would be very good at them. You could be an Olympic athlete.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, damn. Thanks, Cammie.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, well, you know, you– I—If I don't know if you can, yeah, you can always become the Builder if you really wanted to be. You just gotta— gotta confuse all those folks over the Hot House, and then you could be their God-King, sounds fun.
Amanda (as Troy): That's true. I wonder what my life would have been like if I was from— from that— that area? I think I probably would not have amounted to much.
Brandon (as Umbi): So what are the ways to people read here or—
Eric (as Piney): Oh, yeah, all the ones that you said, if there's one specific one you were looking for, I might be able to help you. But I just—
Brandon (as Umbi): No, but I'm asking you like, I'm just curious, like, what do other people commonly do? Or like not so commonly do?
Eric: Sure. Why—what— why don't you —you want a roll for this, my man?
Brandon: Sure.
Eric: What are you—what are you looking for, and we'll figure something out.
Brandon: I want to know, what are the more uncommon ways that people might read these books? Obviously, this person reads books differently than we do. So I want to know.
Eric: Sure. I think that if you're trying to get something out of a conversation—
Brandon: Persuasion?
Eric: —some sort of—yeah, persuasion, some sort of charisma roll, for sure.
Brandon: Excellent.
Julia: Do you want some help, or you good?
Brandon: I'm good, I got 18.
Julia: Sweet.
Eric: 18.
Eric (as Piney): Well, you know, there's— I mean, what I do is, you know, sometimes I shake the where— if I shake the book enough that I hear the words jingling, jangling about.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cool.
Julia (as Cammie): I love that.
Eric (as Piney): They kinda talk to me like that. You can also use your hands if we use the Braille system.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric: (as Piney): Which would work for that. And also, as we talked about, there's a— there's books in a bottle, which you can just hear him.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, that was cool.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah, there's some other ways that I've heard— that I've heard about but uh—
Brandon (as Umbi): Like, what?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, you know, the wa— interesting, I can't—unfortunately, I know that we're all VIPs here, but I can't discuss the comings and goings of other very important plants here at the book depository. But I've seen— I've seen things. I've seen some thi—I've seen, they’re wild, very wild.
Brandon (as Umbi): Alright, well uh—
Eric: I said this guy’s a customer service person. What's the point of being a very important plant, if there isn’t discretion? So with an 18, that's more than this pine tree Greenfolk should have said as a customer service person.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well that makes sense. I—you know, I just like to like expand my plant horizons, like to learn as much about other Greenfolk as much as I can, and they're sort of like, things that they do you know? So I mean like if that's all that you knew, then that like understandable. But you know, I just like to--
Eric (as Piney): Are you—are you a worldly—you're worldly Greenfolk? You've been a various places?
Amanda (as Troy): Look at him, he's so shriveled.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Do you think a Greenfolk like Umbi here has made it this far out into the world and has not seen some things?
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, you don't get this ripe without seeing some things you know?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Piney): What are you gonna do— what’s a thing, what have you seen? Tell me—tell me something. I see a lot of figs here. So whatever—what have you seen out in your travels?
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, there was one Greenfolk. I don't exactly remember what they called themselves, but they could like, they were some kind of like insect-style person, right?
Eric (as Piney): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): And they could—they could walk on water like they—they didn't break the surface tension of the water that was really cool though.
Amanda (as Troy): Ah, skimmers, yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, yeah skimmers. That's what they were, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): We had a family of skimmers ruined the Crags for a while, and then they— they did all die, but it was really cool while it lasted.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh fuck. Yeah, they didn't need a boat to cross the water which is really cool, because they could just skim on it.
Eric (as Piney): They just did it and they did out of their own volition, there was no— there's no divine help there? In either the skim—in either the skimmer situations?
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean there's divine help in everything, what do you mean?
Eric (as Piney): Interesting point. Interesting point.
[Amanda and Julia make disagreeing noises]
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric (as Piney): Damn, I never thought of it like that.
Amanda (as Troy): Anyway.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do you guys not believe in the Planter? We'll talk about this later.
Amanda (as Troy): We better—we better go learn some things about some things people did and then accidentally a book came out.
Julia: Fuck, it's the best way to describe a book ever.
Eric (as Piney): Interesting, very interesting. Well, it seems like we have some cra— some interesting characters here. You know, you— one of you said, one of you were—was a shooter?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, that's me, Troy Riptide.
Eric (as Piney): That's good. You should definitely keep that on you, while when you're in the big room.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Amanda (as Troy): Ohh.
Julia (as Cammie): Why?
Amanda (as Troy): I was told that I shouldn't shoot anything in here. Is that not— not the case?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, for the word sharks.
Amanda (as Troy): Ohh.
Julia: Fuck, of course.
[theme
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. I spent a lovely Saturday evening recently, reading next to an open window as a huge rainstorm swept through Brooklyn. And I know there is a name for the smell of rain on concrete, it's Petrichor. And so when I yelled over to Eric is in the next room, babe, smell the Petrichor. That's just a moment I'm going to be carrying with me for a long time. So welcome to the mid-roll. It kind of smells like leaves, you know. Thank you and welcome to our newest patrons, Jodi and Nin, you picked a wonderful time to join the Patreon because there has never been more amazing, incredible bonus extra patron-only content for you to enjoy. That includes bi-weekly party planning our video podcast at the $10 level, and an audio version at the $5 level, as well as our patron-only Discord. We have ad-free episodes for all of Campaign Three, and so much more bloopers, and one on one time you can get with GM Eric in his office hours. That's a reward at one of the higher tiers. And of course, the opportunity to play a one-shot with all four of us. You can join today at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude, once you run out of Join the Party to re-listen to, go ahead and check out one of our other shows. We would love to recommend Spirits, a history and comedy podcast by Julia and me focused on everything folklore and mythology and the occult. We have covered lots and lots of mythology and folklore from around the world. In the seven-plus years we've been doing this including excitingly, lots of sea creatures. It's a real interest of ours and something that may or may not come up throughout the course of Campaign Three. I don't know, I don't make the rules. I just—I'm just playing. So dive in at spiritspodcast.com or search for Spirits wherever you download your podcasts. We are sponsored this week by Unthinkable a great podcast by Jay Acunzo. Now the content creators we love seem to do something that others don't and they do it consistently and confidently. I love when I am reading a book or I'm listening to a podcast, or looking at creator on Instagram or Tiktok. And I just know that it's like something so unique that could only come from them. Even if I saw the thing out of context I would know that it was that person because it is exactly and only something they could make. And since 2016, Unthinkable with Jay has inspired creators to ship more personal powerful work. It is a podcast about trusting yourself more than like rules, or best practices or tips you might read online. You can hear the stories of amazing creators who resonate deeply with their audience, not because they copied other people because they made their own thing. It's really refreshing and a lovely look at the creative process through story and sound. Listened to Unthinkable with Jay Acunzo anywhere you get your podcasts, or visit the link in our description for a starter pack of stories for new listeners. We are also sponsored this week by Nerdykeppie. And I know usually we have some words from a sponsor here, but we're there's like an otter standing up on their back legs just in front of me who hand me—oh, damn index card. Okay, and it reads Good day, I am Cerberus spokes otter for NerdyKeppie. A quality queer wear company from Portland, Oregon. Nerdykeppie is family-owned, trans-operated, and unionized offering pride gear that subtle sustaining, and suitable for work, in a variety of pride flags with sizes up to five XL in most items. Use coupon code Join the Party for 20% off your first purchase. Nerdykeppie. Go to ithaspockets.gay. That's ithaspockets.gay and use code Join the Party for 20% off your first purchase. Thank you, Cerberus. Here's your— you don't want your index, Cerberus has swum away. And finally, this show is also sponsored by BetterHelp. Now I am constantly learning new things about myself and during new eras as the kids on Tiktok and Instagram would say. And I so appreciate that therapy is a safe place where I can talk about things that frustrate or puzzle me about life, but most importantly about myself. And I can go in and learn well. I really am a person who needs this to feel best about myself or you know what, this the thing that I wish I got, you know earlier in life or in other places, but I can now give it to myself, like affirmation, like goals, like all those great things that my therapist and I have worked on setting for myself. 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[theme]
Eric (as Piney): As a—as VIP I have to tell you about the word sharks.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do you not tell the normal people about this?
Julia: They're on their own, they didn't pay.
Amanda (as Troy): So, are they there to like eat the words or eat people who want to come take the words away?
Julia (as Cammie): Both.
Amanda (as Troy): Ohhh.
Julia (as Cammie): I imagine.
Amanda (as Troy): Cool. And it's alright if I destroy them with my prowess and skill?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, we would appreciate that. We tried to send in really big—we tried to send in really big flower cats once, didn't work.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright, sure.
Julia (as Cammie): Well that's just because they're not their natural predators.
Eric (as Piney): Well, we can only do as best as we can here on the Great Salt Sea. Say a merchant comes through and has bunches of giant cats. What am I going— what am I gonna— we're not gonna turn it down.
Brandon (as Umbi): What is the word shark's actual predator? I don’t know, man?
Amanda (as Troy): Whatever that is.
Julia (as Cammie): It might be at the top of the food chain. We just simply don't know.
Eric (as Piney): Apex predator, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Friend, I'm so sorry, what is your name again?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, oh sorry. Sometimes I just get down to the information desk—in the information it's for. It's just Piney. I honestly—you could have expected, it's just Piney.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright, Piney you've been so helpful. So appreciate it, looking forward to exterminating these sharks for you. Is there any way we could like meet with Tessie like after we do that successfully? Because that was kind of next on our list, and this might take a little longer than expected.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, yeah have you scheduled your—your meeting time with Te— with Tessie yet?
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Julia (as Cammie): No. Can we do that with you?
Eric (as Piney): Yes, absolutely.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, wonderful.
Eric (as Piney); Let me just rummage [mumbles] okay.
Julia (as Cammie): I have to —I have to say the customer service here has been wonderful so far. You're doing a great job. Can I give you a commendation to give to Tessie?
Eric (as Piney): Absolutely. Nothing would make me happier.
Julia (as Cammie): Wonderful.
Eric (as Piney): Alright. Let me think.
Julia: Cammie meticulously like fills out a survey.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Piney): Are you here with— with Ms. Razzmatazz?
Amanda (as Troy): We— did come in together, but we're uh different parties.
Julia (as Cammie): More like we carpooled?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm her arm candy, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, look at him.
Eric (as Piney): A—a fetching fellow for such a powerful woman. Absitively. Well if you did—when you did come in together, I guess there was the assumption. Ms. Razma—Ms. Razzmatazz has already scheduled the time and would they assume when we had written it down, we assume that all of you are together?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, what —what time was that again?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, that's happening later on tonight.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, let's—let's do that. Do you like a card or something, where—where to go?
Eric (as Piney): Yes, absolutely. It's fine. It's put—put in, I'll make sure that someone who works here at the Depository will be able to escort you while you're doing whatever you're having. As long as you have your speed bracelets on, it kind of keeps it scheduled for you.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, great. And just in case like the sharks bite it off or anything, who should we like check in with?
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm not very good with like technology and stuff, you know? I—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi):—I prefer to have paper.
Amanda (as Troy): They—they only invented bracelets when—when he was already a dad.
Brandon (as Umbi): I was there, I was there when they invented twi— intertwining ropes together.
Eric (as Piney): I'll make sure— if you're—after a few minutes of—if you don't respond to your speed bracelets, I'll make sure to have some-- a messenger come and get you for your time with Tessie the Storm, absolutely.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): Wonderful. Thank you.
Amanda (as Troy): He invented the braid. He’s that old.
Eric (as Piney): The braid? He invented braiding?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, the braid.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yep, that was me. They call me Umbraid for a little bit.
Eric (as Piney): I gotta say, hours are long, but this is the most interesting job in the world.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, Piney, you've been a—a gem.
Eric (as Piney): Thank you and have a good time here at the Book Depository. And if you haven't got a chance, please make sure to check out the Crimson— The Crimson's Exchange.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh yeah.
Eric (as Piney): Is a—it's the absolute jewel of the island.
Brandon (as Umbi): What's your favorite drink there?
Eric: Give me oh—give oh— give me another persuasion check.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Amanda: Oohh.
Brandon: I’m just hoping to get a bar rec, but okay. 13 plus 4 for 17.
Amanda: Hey!
Julia: I forget that you're like a fucking politician, so you're good at persuasion.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: That's on me, Brandon. I forget your skills.
Brandon: I haven't really successfully persuaded a lot of people in my political career. So you could be excused for not realizing that.
Amanda: You're just saving it up, Brandon. You're saving it, yeah.
Julia: You've refined it over time. It's been 60 years.
Brandon: It's been some [mumbles] years yeah,
Eric: It’s been--
Julia: Yep.
Brandon: (sings) It’s been--
Brandon (as Umbi): It's been.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, well obviously if you're gonna have this here you got to order a Researchers' Delight.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohh.
Julia (as Cammie): Researchers Delight.
Brandon (as Umbi): What is that?
Julia (as Cammie): Red—red sky at night, researchers delight.
Eric (as Piney): The joke here at the Book Depository is enough lights on at night, researchers delight, so you don't get eyestrain.
Julia (as Cammie): Wow.
Brandon (as Umbi): Right. When the morning comes puppets–
Eric: What– Excuse me?
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, you don't know about the puppets, that's okay.
Eric (as Piney): Excu—Wh—how did the puppets?
Amanda (as Troy): It's alright. They're peeping, bye.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, what's in a Researchers’ Delight, I want to knowwww!
Eric (as Piney); Oh the reserves— the Researchers’ Delight, everyone the— the thing about it is that you can drink it at your whatever order you want, because it's al— different juices and alcohol is layered on in different-- They float on, each of the layers float on each other. So depending on where you put your straw, you can do it in your own order.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's cool.
Julia (as Cammie): Wow.
Brandon (as Umbi): That is really cool.
Eric (as Piney): That's five different layers kind of in a – in a beautiful design. You'll see— you'll see when you get it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Why does no one do this in real life? That sounds dope.
Eric (as Piney): Well, we do it—we do it here. That’s definitely something we-- mixologist said the Crimson's E—Crimson's Exchange are top-notch. Best in the— best in the entire Salt Sea. Alright, we'll have a—have a book-tastic day and I'll be around or someone will be around if you need anything for your very— for these very important plants.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you.
Julia (as Cammie): Wonderful. Thank you so much. I gave you 10 out of 10 on all of the things I possibly could have.
Eric: Piney shakes into your hands and a few pine needle kinda--
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, did you need those? I'm so sorry.
Eric (as Piney): No, they grow back fast.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, cool.
Julia (as Cammie): Can I make these into tea?
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohh.
Eric (as Piney): I'm considering how I feel about that.
Julia (as Cammie): That's why I asked first.
Eric (as Piney): Why not? Most interesting job in the world I'm telling. This is what I tell my mom. This is incredible.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.
Eric (as Piney): Alright. Yeah, absolutely, I'll be here.
Amanda: Troy sniffs his hand on the way out.
Eric: Smells like pine.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Is there any—so is there anything you're interested in—in doing?
Julia: I want to see this big room.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: I want to find the diary of the guy who encountered the salmon. I just didn’t want to be so open about it with Piney.
Eric: No, I understand, I understand. Yeah, you want to go— y'all can go the big room.
Amanda: Let's do it.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Big room, big knowledge.
Julia: Big shark? Big knowledge.
Amanda: Big risk?
Julia: Big room. Big knowledge.
Eric: Yeah, y'all can head over to the big room. Again, you just walk down the hall. As you get— as you get closer to the big room, the stacks of books in the hallway are getting bigger. Like when you get deeper into a cave, the stalactites and stalagmites get larger. It's like the stacks of books are getting bigger.
Amanda: Dream.
Eric: As you walk forward, I think one of the stacks moved.
Amanda: Uh…
Eric: One of the stacks of books moved, but y'all can just keep walking if you want to.
Brandon: Can we go ahead and like prime an action, just like in case I need to act quickly?
Eric: Sure, what do you want to do?
Brandon: I just want to ready an action of like a burst bomb, just like an attack bomb with no radius, but yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, y'all aren’t in initiative or anything, so um—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: While we were out of initiative, I think like, if the thing you're focused on is like looking around, that can be the— you can be focused on that. But you can't like poke around books necessarily if you’re on watch, but I think that's fine.
Brandon: I'll be on watch then, so— or actually, maybe you should do that Troy because you're a better shoot.
Julia: Who—who has best investigation because I imagine that's what we're going to be using for looking at books. Because I only have a one.
Amanda: I have zero.
Brandon: I have plus two.
Julia: Okay, then maybe Umbi, you should be investigating. I will ready a hex which is called disorient.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Whenever a target makes an attack roll before the end of your next turn, it must roll a D6 and subtract that number rolled from the attack roll.
Amanda: Cool. I'll be on guard for anyone and try and I'll lead, so if anything jumps out at us, I have advantage on survival checks and things like that.
Julia: Woo.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Whoo.
Brandon: Whoo.
Eric: Whoo.
Brandon: Alright. Well, I'm going to be looking around for yeah, what Amanda described, like diaries of ship captains and adventurers and like, people who would be part of the real-life adventurers club or whatever the hell it's called.
Eric: For sure.
Amanda: And did we hear that it recently got to the Depository?
Eric: If I remember correctly of what Orello said, Orello supposed that it would be there if it was there.
Julia: Very helpful Orello.
Amanda: Classic Orello.
Brandon: Yeah, I'm gonna punch that fruit in the face again.
Eric: Punch him right in the fucking weird belly button.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: So Umbi I think that it would be sort of in the like, books receivable or sort of like at the top of a stack like not—not deep in. So hopefully, somewhat easier for us to see.
Brandon: Yeah. Umbi pulls out his readers.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Yeah, we picked more up for you, don't worry.
Eric: Yeah. It's bright blue with that cartoon of Tessie the Storm on it.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Yeah. Alright. Yeah, y'all—y'all keep walking down the hallway. In my head, this is like an abandoned elementary school. You know, it's just like kind of that vibe. It's like, it's really quite like you can hear your footsteps. There's just piles of books everywhere, no one's there. And then as you turn the left, there are these two big swinging doors that says the big room over it.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright, here we are.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: And then you hear,
Eric (as Researcher): Oh god! Tell- tell everyone I loved them!
Amanda: Troy runs to the door.
Eric: Inside in the big room-- The big room, it's kinda like— it looks like the inside of a, like a grain silo. There's nothing in there other than books, books stacked higher and higher and higher. 2, 3, 4 stories high. You can see that the big room might actually be the majority of the Book Depository. It kind of reaches four stories up. And then you also get their little slots kind of everywhere, high up. And then every so often you just see like a book falls out of slots. One slot and then another side, just randomly more and more books are falling into this giant pile of books. There's also some folks that are kind of poking around in there. They seem unfazed by the blood-curdling scream that you heard right before this.
Julia (as Cammie): Sure. Makes sense.
Amanda: Can I sense where the screen came from?
Eric: No, it happened when you weren't in there.
Amanda: Oh, great. So, Troy will keep covering Umbi and Cammie as we– I guess approach the big pile.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Y'all do we think that this is some sort of like 4D experience?
Julia (as Cammie): I'm not sure what that means.
Amanda (as Troy): What are—what are the 4 Ds?
Brandon (as Umbi): Four Dimensions? I get Troy, you have read about dimensions. Yeah, I get it.
Amanda (as Troy): What's a dimension?
Julia (as Cammie): I also don't know what a dimension is.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, one dimension is a flat plane. Two dimensions is a— is height, I think, I don't remember. Three dimensions is what we live in. And four dimensions is like when they spray water on you.
Julia (as Cammie): What?
Amanda (as Troy): Three dimensions is being in the boat, and four is being on the deck?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, kinda. Look, I'm asking—
Eric (as Edamame): Hey, this isn't my— this isn’t mine to say, but I thought the fourth dimension was time.
Brandon (as Umbi): What are you, Einstein?
Julia: Fuck off, plant.
Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck off, nerd.
Eric (as Edamame): Oh sorry, you're standing on a book I want.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'd say do we think this is like a horror experience? Or is this like a real thing?
Julia (as Cammie): No, I think our good friend Piney told us to watch out for sharks and I don't think—
Brandon (as Umbi): But Piney works for the theme park. Anyway, we'll find out, doesn't matter.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric: Umbi, would you like to—to roll to figure out if this is like, Halloween Horror Nights or not?
Brandon: No, we'll find out.
Eric: Alright [laughs]
Julia: Yeah, we'll—we'll kill someone in a costume, it's fine, figure it out.
Amanda (as Troy): Um, Cammie do you think that the Nonny could like sniff for— for like what the books about?
Julia (as Cammie): I'm fairly certain Nonny doesn't have nostrils.
Amanda (as Troy): Sure, sure, sure.
Julia (as Cammie): But I could have her come out and do a little helping to see if she can find stuff as well.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, it's just an idea.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Julia: Alright. So I'll send Nonny to give Umbi help actions in his investigations.
Brandon: Does Nonny jump on my shoulder?
Julia: Of course she—
Brandon: Yay!
Julia: She—she doesn't jump, she slorps.
Brandon: She slorps on my shoulder.
Amanda: Pours herself out of the kettle.
Julia: Fully climbs it up, climbs up your body with all her legs.
Amanda: Yay!
[Nonny purrin sound]
Julia (as Cammie): I know my baby, I know.
Brandon (as Umbi): Waddup, how are you doing?
[Nonny answers]
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, me too. It is a little cold, how'd you know. Yeah. How'd you know? You knew because I was cold.
[Nonny answers]
Julia (as Cammie): Nonny also canonically can read, so there you go.
Eric: According to-- according to the canon.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: According to my life canon I am— I love these hot dogs.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Everyone knows I go to the canon. Alright, hell, yeah. So yeah, I think the way that we're going to do this is—who is looking around and who is doing other stuff?
Brandon: I am looking.
Julia: I am readying an action to hex with disorient and I am looking out for word sharks.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: And I am covering it my teammates' backs
Eric: Yeah. Hey Cammie, here's a question for Cammie.
Julia: Hey.
Eric: Ca— is Cammie disorienting any— any anyone and anything?
Julia: No, I think Cammie is ready to disorient anything that is going to attack them.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Specifically.
Eric: Sure. Sure. Sure.
Brandon: So could just be like an overzealous Ph.D. student.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah.
Eric: Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Okay, sounds good. Let's all roll for some stuff. You two are looking out. Give me some perception checks and then Umbi, you could—why don't you give me two investigation checks, one for you and one for Nonny. Hold on, before you—Nonny has a negative 4 to intelligence.
Julia: Right. But she's giving the help action rather than rolling for herself.
Eric: How is Nonny helping look for books?
Julia: The same way you allowed me to do this when we were doing the perception checks for when we were worried the people were coming for us on Esca Island.
Amanda: Nonny could be opening a second book with her many limbs.
Brandon: Maybe Nonny holding my readers.
Julia: Yeah, that's good.
Eric: Cool. Yeah, Nonny's holding your reader, so it's another thing.
Julia: I just love that we keep giving her like spy glasses, readers, that kind of thing.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Cool. Cool.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Let's do our investigation rolls first.
Brandon: I rolled a 15 plus two for 17 investigation.
Eric: Cool. What was the second roll?
Brandon: The second roll was a 5 for Nonny.
Eric: Oh, she got— she got a 5.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I get that, let's do advantage. That'll be—that'll would just be easier. You got a 17?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Cool. Cool. And then let me know the perceptions.
Julia: Is a 14 for me.
Eric: 14.
Amanda: 9 minus 1 for an 8.
Eric: 9 minus 1 for an 8. Great, great. Umbi you—what do you doing? What's your— what's your stratagem here for were you looking around in this big pile of books?
Brandon: I'm gonna start looking in the spots that are like least disheveled by like Greenfolk hands.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Like most randomly organized, like if there's piles that have been stacked already, like by people going through them, either they've taken that book already, or like it's probably not there. So I'll look through like the most like randomized piles.
Amanda: You're looking through the snowdrifts of books that are coming in.
Brandon: The snow drifts of books, yes.
Julia: Smart.
Eric: I like that. With a 17, that's not going to do it my friend. I'm gonna need—I'm gonna need you to roll a bunch more times. You're not gonna find it immediately. However, you are on the trail, that's a good strategy.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: And Nonny gets like further on your head to really starts looking around at the books and—and moving— moving books faster with her— with her sticky— sticky hands.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: I love her.
Eric: Great, great, great. Alright, perception checks. Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Waddup?
Eric: You're looking out at the sea of books in front of you. And it reminds you about the sea when you're on the ship. And there could be anything out there in the books or in the sea. They’re just waiting, watching, diving. Was there something there? In front of you? Was it— right in front of you, was there movement? Do you see som—was it something?
Amanda: He like toes one of the books in front of him.
Eric: Not there. It's moving 10-20 feet right over that—that giant pile.
Julia: I hate this.
Eric: That giant pile of encyclopedias.
Amanda (as Troy): Uhhh.
Eric: It's just the Bs, but what if the B stands for beware there’s word shark. Cammie, you don't see anything? Coast is clear.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright. Cool. So far no word sharks, right Troy?
Amanda (as Troy): Uhhhh.
Eric (as Edamame): Hey. What kind of stuff are you—is over in your section?
Julia (as Cammie): Hello, sir.
Eric (as Edamame): Hello.
Julia (as Cammie): None of your business.
Eric (as Edamame): Okay go—okay, goodbye.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric (as Edamame): Wait—wait a second. Oh, no!
Eric: The plant just gets pulled down right into-- is like “Noooo! Take my sword!”
Julia: I take his sword. I want his sword now.
Eric (as Edamame): Avenge me.
Julia: Do I have a cool sword now that I can sell later?
Eric: Oh, it's a— here's the thing, you pick up the sword, toy sword.
Amanda: Nooo.
Julia: Fuck.
Brandon: They bought it at the gift shop.
Eric: Yeah, it sa—it says have a booktastic day on the side of the toy sword.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh damn.
Julia (as Cammie): This is why they shouldn't let non-pirates in here. They can't defend themselves. He had a toy sword.
Amanda (as Troy): Bummer.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): He must have thought it was a 4D experience.
Julia (as Cammie): Like some people.
Eric: Okay. I—
Brandon (as Umbi): Who?!
Eric: Let's do it again. [dice roll]
Amanda: Alright, 17.
Julia: 11.
Eric: 11.
Brandon: 16 total.
Eric: 16, that's good. Another good roll, you're on the trail. What are you thinking?
Brandon: Right now, I stumbled upon like a cache of cookbooks that aren't really useful. But I figure like, these are like, cookbooks from the perspective of a ship's cook.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: So like their recent recipes, they're like rough drafts. They're like drafts are supposed to be sent to the publisher. So like, maybe I'm on the right trail of like people on a ship, and like rough early drafts of stuff. So no good recipes, though. It's all like mostly like 101 ways to cook seaweed, you know?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Of course. Unfortunately.
Amanda: It's marginalia like, Bramblethorn hated this one.
Brandon: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Eric: Yeah. Troy, you know, 20 feet in front of you where you saw that bo— those books move? It’s taken a turn to the left. It's moving. It's moving forward.
Julia: You rolled higher this time, didn't you?
Amanda: Yeah, I got 17.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: It's a— it's kind of wandering. It's like, wandering to the left. Is it circling? But it's definitely there, it's moving.
Amanda: Do I have a sense of how big this is?
Eric: Have you seen a word shark before?
Amanda: No idea.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Hmm. Damn you.
Amanda: Like wha— how big is the thing I see in front of me? Do I see like in a cartoon where like, or like wherever there's a puppy under the blankets, right?
Eric: Oh, sure.
Amanda: Like, is it that kind of situation where you see the outline?
Brandon: When there’s a puppy under the blankets?
Julia: Puppy under the Blanket.
Eric: That's pretty—that's pretty big.
Julia: Is it a puppy in a blanket situation, Eric? Come on.
Eric: It's pretty big.
Brandon: That's the cutest way you could describe that, Amanda.
Amanda: Thank you. Troy's gonna shoot an arrow about two, three yards in front of where the creature is moving.
Eric: Sure, in front of what's moving. Yeah, give me an attack roll.
Amanda: [dice roll] That's an 18 plus 4.
Eric: 22, very good shot.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm trying to startle it and have it rewrap hopefully.
Eric: Alright, Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): Hey?
Brandon: What up?
Julia (as Cammie): What up?
Amanda: I just want to say that I pictured the arrow making a book kebab of three to four books that are stacked wherever it lands.
Julia: Incredible.
Amanda (as Troy); Just want to say that. Thank you.
Eric: Cammie, you're still not seeing anything. What do you see out there? There's no movement. What do you— what are you looking for?
Julia (as Cammie): I'm looking for movement in the books, something that would look like a word shark.
Eric (as Edamame): Hey, did you see my brother over here and before?
Julia (as Cammie): No. And if I did, I told him what's happening over here is none of his business before he got eaten.
Eric (as Edamame); Oh, because I'm really concerned about the word sharks.
Julia (as Cammie): Are you now?
Eric (as Edamame): I am.
Julia (as Cammie): How about—you know what, I think if he goes straight that way, it looks safe.
Julia: Cammie pointed the direction that Troy just came from.
Eric: Alright give me a persuasion check.
Amanda: Damn dude, love it.
Eric (as Edamame): Yeah, cause we're peas in a pod because we're all edamame? We're soy—we’re the Soybean Brothers, and we’re just trying to bring some recipes about how to make the seaweed taste better for--
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, you know what, I think Umbi just found one of those. Go fetch.
Eric: Cammie throws the Seaweed book.
Eric: Give me a persuasion check.
Julia: I rolled a 17.
Eric: Oh, a 17.
Eric (as Edamame): Oh, just that way?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Edamame): Oh, okay.
Julia (as Cammie): Best of luck.
Eric (as Edamame): Alright, thank you.
Eric: This edamame pod toddles forward.
Amanda: Here's a joken.
Eric: Thank you.
Julia: That's very good. Eric, peas in a pod.
Eric: He toddles forward.
Eric (as Edamame): Are you sure this is safe?
Julia (as Cammie): I haven't— I personally have not seen anything in that direction yet.
Eric (as Edamame): Alright.
Julia (as Cammie): That's true, and anyone can quote me on that.
Amanda: I’m picturing Cammie giving congressional testimony like, I personally was not aware of anything untoward. Nothing crossed my desk.
Julia: That's true. She genuinely doesn't know that there's something over there, so—
Eric: No, it's fine. No, It's definitely.
Eric (as Edamame): Like alright, well, you know, there's a lot of things here on the high seas that you know, A lot of people from where I'm from, you know, back on the mainland they told me that I shouldn’t vacation here on the seas, but it seems like there are a lot of nice people.
Julia (as Cammie): No, yeah. I mean listen, even pirates can be nice.
Eric (as Edamame): Wow, that's so reassuring.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Best of luck for you. Enjoy your vacation.
Eric (as Edamame): Oh, absolutely. Thank you so much.
Eric: As he waves to you. Troy the movement in the books takes a sharp right away from where you shot the arrow. It's a— it was circling you before but now it's like kind of jerked at a 45 angle. It's not going towards you, but it certainly is moving. And now you see there's an edamame, this edamame person toddling away waving— waving to Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): Goodbye!
Amanda: Like it looks like their paths are going to intersect.
Eric: It certainly does look like their paths are going to intersect. And you— you're not— not close to what's going about to happen.
Amanda: Yeah, I mean, Troy is going to try to shoot the form.
Eric: Make an attack roll.
Amanda: [dice roll] That's 12.
Eric: No, that does not hit. Do you want to do your thing?
Julia: Ricochet.
Amanda: Yeah. So I'm going to use my bonus action to reroll the attack roll using my ricochet feature.
Julia: That's such a good feature.
Amanda: Alright, that's a Dirty 20.
Eric: Dirty 20 that hits.
Amanda: Gonna do half damage though.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Alright. I rolled a 4 so half damage is 2.
Eric: Okay, let's see. What is the— what is the arrow ricochet off of?
Amanda: Oh, the arrow ricochets off of a map that the edamame is holding. It hits it, punches a funny hole toward it, and then bings off of the like, plastic map protector that they bought at the gift shop.
Eric: Gotta get the map protector—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It's like what are we even doing?
Julia: Gotta, just gotta.
Amanda: To hit the form in the books. I also wanna use a risk die to use covering fire, which means that when I hit a creature with a range weapon attack, I can expend one risk die as a bonus action to cow the creature.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: I roll my risk die and subtract it from the next attack roll the creature makes.
Eric: Oh, so it will be— it will—
Amanda: When it attacks it gets minus whatever I roll.
Eric: Oh, yeah, do it.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Alright, it's a 2.
Eric: Alright it's a 2.
Amanda: So minus 2 on the next attack roll.
Eric: Good to know, good to know. Alright. Cammie, are you— I like the idea—are Troy— you and Troy like, like nearly back to back?
Julia: I think so.
Eric: I feel like the whole time is like you two we're just like, scanning, you’re back to back, you're looking at one way looking the other way.
Amanda: Yeah, we're going in opposite directions like in a circle around Umbi.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. So yeah, you're looking around. Cammie, you talked to the edamame guy looking for his brother, it waves.
Eric (as Edamame): There’s such nice people here—here in the Great Salt Sea.
Eric: Troy shoots an arrow, bounces off of a book, bounces off of the maps. The plastic map cover hits another map and it just dives into the sea of books at your feet.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Where this great mass had been moving about. And that's when the word shark breaches.
Julia: Can I use my reaction now that it has breached?
Eric: Yeah. What is it uh—
Julia: It needs to make a con saving throw, please.
Eric: Sure. I'll make con saving throw.
Brandon: Sharks famously very constitute.
Eric: Just incredibly constitute.
Julia: It has to beat a 12.
Eric: I rolled a 7, but 7 plus 4 is an 11.
Amanda: Brutal.
Julia: Fuck you.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. So as it breaches, it is all teeth and spines. Think about it's kind of just like a paddle of a prickly pear cactus.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: But it just opens with teeth and spines everywhere. Very good for cutting through books. And of course for people to retell the story of the word shark. And of course, there is an arrow stuck into one of the prickly pear fruits that adorns kind of its crown. Cammie, what does this—what do—what does the hex do, tell me more about it.
Julia: So disorient, basically on a failed save whenever a target makes an attack roll before the end of your next term, it must roll a D6 and subtract the number rolled from the attack roll.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Jeez. Well, that works out real well because it is—as it is breaching, it is attacking Cammie, the edamame guy, and Troy.
Amanda: So you got minus 2 from me and then minus the D6.
Eric: Jesus. Yeah. Well, I rolled a 3, so we're in the negative, my friend. I'm gonna roll everything right here. Oh jeez, well, okay. So here's what I did. I got a 3 plus 5 which is an 8, and then I subtract 2 and then another 5. So this is bringing this thing all the way down to 1.
Amanda: Oh, no. Sorry, it's a very cool enemy.
Eric: It's just like at the marine—you might as well be at— at a wild marine park as an o—and like a killer whale gets tempted to jump out of the water.
Brandon: I knew it was a 4D experience.
Eric: Yeah. It twists and turns and like grabs a book from the air that's been falling from one of like the depository slots.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And it kind of —it knocks Cammie and Troy away as— as well as the edamame guy. Being like—
Eric (as Edamame): Oh my God you saved my life, I would have been killed by the word shark.
Amanda (as Troy): Get out here my dude.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh my god, my friend, I'm so glad you're still alive.
Eric: The word shark then falls and splats the edamame person, just falls directly on top of them as they dive back into the word sea.
Julia (as Cammie): Nooooo. Our friendship was so brief but so beautiful.
Amanda (as Troy): Listen, he knew what he was getting into.
Eric (as Edamame): Remember me and my brother!
Amanda (as Troy): There’s lots of them. It's fine, It's fine.
Julia: Cammie like pulls out her fiddle and starts playing a very slow, sad ballad for them.
Amanda: I know, right?
Eric: That's true. What would you like to do is dive— diving away and Umbi, you can keep investigating?
Brandon: I would love to keep investigating.
Amanda: Umbi's like, doo doo doo, doo.
Brandon: Oh, no, his adrenaline has shot through the roof.
Eric: It's true. The spray of books kind of goes everywhere, as the tower of books starts to shake.
Amanda: I'm gonna hit them again.
Eric: Pick them again. Alright Umbi, give me an Investigation check.
Brandon: I only got an 8 and a 10, so 12 total.
Eric: Umbi, you're hot on the trail but you still don't have it. You still don't know what you're looking for.
Brandon: I took a left turn at Albuquerque.
Eric: You certainly got into a big depository now of accidental literature. We got some journals, and you're sifting around. You're now seeing a big chunk of books and like papers and literature and old—and old maps from Crimson Larceny that all seem to be from— from their ship.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Give me a history check, while we're figuring out these attacks.
Amanda: Hell yeah, dude.
Julia: Crimson Larceny, is that related—do you think to Crimson’s—
Brandon: Exchange, yeah.
Amanda: I would guess. Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Maybe, maybe. Give me a plus 1 to that history role, because it seems like one of your friends is on to something.
Amanda: Eyyy.
Eric: Let's do some attacks here though. The word shark dives back into the books, and it's kind of making a wide circle around getting ready to jump at you again.
Julia: Eric, did it take like a disengage from us when it dove back down into the--
Eric: Yeah, it gets a free disengage because it’s swimming.
Julia: Okay. I would like to use Eye of Anubis.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: Which is a cantrip?
Amanda: Hey.
Eric: What is that?
Julia: It is a range spell attack. If it hits, it takes one D8 necrotic damage. And if it hits, they can't take the disengage action until the end of your next turn.
Eric: Oooh, it can't leave you, I love that. Yeah, do an attack for me.
Amanda (as Troy): What's an Anubis, is that a grass?
Julia: That is a 16. 12 plus 4.
Eric: Anubis is the kind of grass they have on golf courses because it rolls real nice.
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, for sure. What does it look like?
Eric: Cammie's eyes glow with a bright kind of golden hour glow, steam rises out of it, and Cammie blasts a laser beam out of her eye.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: Hell yeah! Yeah, that shoots right into the sea of books. That's a hit my friend.
Julia: Yeah, and now it can no longer disengage from us.
Eric: Now it can't swim away.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Hell yeah, man. Well, I'm glad Troy did roll a two. But using my—using my— my feature, I did get to reroll and got dirty 20.
Brandon: Oooh.
Julia: Oh wait, I forgot to do damage to this thing.
Eric: Yes, give me damage. What did this bounce off of to hit the word shark in the book sea?
Amanda: It was right on track for where the word shark was going to be, but when it was sort of stopped in its tracks by Cammie's spell, the arrow hit a book that was falling down from one of the slots and veered to where it needs to be.
Eric: Bouncing off the book and getting in there, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. To hit another one of the spine fruits on the shark.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: And Troy's like, oh books are useful for a lot of things.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Alright, I rolled a 5, so half of that I see my round down would be a 2.
Eric: Yeah, that's another two, I'll take it.
Julia: And I did five necrotic damage. I'm also going to use my bonus action to cackle so I continue with the disorient hex.
Eric: Hell yeah. Still disoriented, very good.
Julia: So Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): [laugh cries] My poor friend.
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, that's so creepy dude.
Eric: Just those sobs reverberate throughout the thing and everyone's like this sucks. I'm bummed out.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I don't want to have tragedy when I'm at the Book Depository.
Amanda: Seriously.
Eric: Umbi, give me that history roll. Let me know about— if you know about Crimson Larceny.
Brandon: I rolled a 15 plus 2 plus 1, so 18 total.
Julia: Oh, nice.
Eric (as Christopher Lloyd): Everyone knows about Crimson Larceny. Crimson Larceny probably the one pirate who got close enough to actually find the salmon.
Julia: Christopher Lloyd, what are you doing here?
Eric (as Christopher Lloyd): Gotta blast.
Brandon: Yeah, I—that's great info. My eyes get big and excited, and I start pulling up all the information I can about Crimson Larceny.
Amanda: Yeah, are they all like bound in the same way. Maybe it's like a nice crimson-y color.
Eric: Well, the thing that you notice is that it's all written in blood-red ink, of course.
Brandon: Ahh, of course.
Eric: Which ties it all—which ties it all together.
Brandon: Of course.
Julia: I don't know why we even bother asking.
Brandon: Quote-unquote, “blood red.” Right, alright. It's definitely not blood.
Eric: No, it's definitely not blood.
Amanda: What blood? What blood?
Julia: No, it's berry juice red.
Amanda: Yeah, that's it.
Eric: Berry juice red. Well, the thing you know also about Crimson Larceny is that Crimson Larceny the famous pirate captain who got clo—who everyone opposed got close enough to the salmon before disappearing under mysterious circumstances. Is that Crimson Larceny is a— if you know a dragon tree, which is one of those trees that like they live in the—a dragon tree is in the desert, so it's all like upper-- like it has roots all the way to the top with the leaves on top.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: And also the thing about the dragon tree is that its sap is blood red.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Of course.
Julia: Ooh, it's cool as fuck.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Love it.
Brandon: Guys, I just looked up if insects have blood, because I didn't real— I didn't think about it and they don't.
Julia: No?
Eric: Hell yeah, dude.
Amanda: That’s why I said, what’s blood?
Eric: Fuck yeah, dude.
Amanda: What blood, dude?
Eric: I like in the anime, as Umbi's reading through all of these journals, like just the silhouette of Crimson Larceny, lu—lurking in the background.
Julia (as Cammie): While we're here, we should see if we can find the other works of Dr. Radish Radish.
Julia: And Cammie looks at Umbi.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Like fully in the middle of battle but Cammie's like—
Julia (as Cammie): Dr. Radish Radish might have writing here.
Amanda (as Troy): That's true.
Brandon (as Umbi): Sure, we can look him up at the card catalog, though he's probably—
Julia (as Cammie): Well-published.
Amanda (as Troy): Index. Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Alright Umbi, I'm gonna need— I'm gonna need a dexterity check from you.
Brandon: What?
[dice roll]
Julia: Uh-oh.
Brandon: 12 plus 2 for 14 total.
Eric: Umbi, give me one last investigation roll, please.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: I'll give you with advantage.
Amanda (as Troy): Come on Grandpa.
Brandon: [dice roll] 16, total, 14 plus 2.
Eric: 14 plus 2. As you sort through this cache of Captain Larceny's ship, you pick up a small, unassuming journal. It's black and carved into the front. You read the name Fun Mandy Potash. And as you—
Amanda: Excuse me?
Eric: —and as you flip through, the first thing you read is—
Eric (as Fun Mandy Potash): Everyone knows you got to keep things light when you're looking for the salmon. That's why I'm keeping track of all my pranks.
Eric: And as you do that, the word shark once again breaches the book sea, but it's not attacking Cammie and Troy, it's just diving right at all of your feet to scatter each of you into the book sea. I need everyone to make a Dexterity saving throw.
Brandon: Oh my god.
Julia: Very quickly, I would like to use a reaction.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: To use a spell called intrusive thought.
Eric: Sure, what does that do?
Brandon: Is that just a spell, anxiety?
Julia and Eric: Yes.
Eric: It’s like this word shark then feels bad about itself.
Julia: As a reaction when a creature you can see within range uses its action to attack or takes the dash, dodge or disengage actions. They must first make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save the creature takes an action of your choice.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: You have to beat a 12.
Eric: 12?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: [dice roll] Oh, I got a 12 on the dice plus 0 that's a 12.
Brandon: Oohh.
Amanda: Troy would like to use another risk die to do skin of your teeth. When an attacker makes an attack roll against me, I can expend a risk die as a reaction to dodge out of harm's way at the last second.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I add the risk die to my AC against the attack.
Eric: Wonderful. We're going to use this for what we're doing. I need everyone to make a Dexterity saving throw.
Amanda: So I got 5 plus 2 plus 4 for an 11.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: You boy got—oh what is it? What is Julia doing?
Julia: How does a Nat fucking 20 taste for this?
Brandon: Oh shit. And I got a 19 total.
Eric: A 19?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Also Umbi, make a saving—strength saving throw.
Brandon: Strength saving throw?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Not good at that. 15, 16 minus one.
Eric: Alright, that's fine. Okay, as the word shark attacks, the book sea below you and kind of re-shuffled the deck. The books are unstable with the seismic force of the word shark shaking everything around you. Umbi and Cammie, much like a wave hitting you, as you run into the sea, you're able to hold yourself above the book water as it is. As you bob— as like you kind of go under, and then bob back up. Cammie, you can do a cool surfing thing if you want.
Julia: Yeah, Cammie finds a really big encyclopedia and like rides the curve of the wave.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Well Julia, what you probably found was a broadsheet, and I wonder if— you look down, who's it by?
Julia: Is it by Dr. Radish Radish, Eric?
Eric: It is by Dr. Radish Radish, that's true.
Amanda: Yay!
Julia: God, yes.
Eric: This is Dr. Radish Radish’s guide to eating things that are out in the wild, but only for good little boys, girls, and their parents. Because we can use this for both medicine and food if you're aware of what happens around you.
Julia (as Cammie): Is Dr. Radish Radish from the Open Fields? That feels like a very Open Fields philosophy.
Eric: Umbi, although you appear 20 feet away after going underneath the book sea, you pop back open and your hand is still grasped to Fun Bandy Potash's journal.
Julia: I have this moment in my head where Cammie raises the Dr. Radish Radish writing, and Umbi raises the notebook that he held onto, and they're both like,
Julia (as Cammie): Haaaaah. Look, look.
Julia: And Cammie's like—
Julia (as Cammie): I found more of your writing, Umbi.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Julia (as Cammie): Dr. Radish Radish.
Brandon (as Umbi): Who's that?
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, Dr. Radish Ra—where's Troy?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh no.
Eric: Troy's not there.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, fuck.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, fuck.
Eric (as Edamame): Oh fuck. Have you two seen my brothers?
[theme]