Soon may the Spider Queen come / to make us work and read and run / One day, when the theme park’s done / we'll take days off and go
Dive into the classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, the Skill Tree, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
Sponsors
- The Oracles of Aughra from Sarsen Games, a Kickstarter running through Weds, May 31, 2023!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plants and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a Salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: After a long day of not getting eaten by sharks, the crew winds down at Crimson's Exchange. They’re drinking Researcher’s Delights, the signature cocktail that kicks off a singing show by Rose Bear heads mounted on the wall. But there's a special super rare version of the drink that includes a solo from a tiny pink falsetto Rose Bear. Cammie and Umbi spent a lot of doublooms trying to bring this out, as Troy sneaks around the back rooms. When they hit the lucky number and the pink Rose Bear sings the high note, someone slips a package in the back room through the bass line singing bear's mouth and Troy grabs it. Turns out that package are glasses that lets you jump into books. Troy holds onto the artifact all night even through bar trivia, and the crew’s told that their one on one with Tessie the Storm is about to begin. They head back to the Depository, but not before being intimidated by Piney and some goons who knows that someone took something valuable from them. Troy gives Piney an Amber to hopefully keep the whole thing quiet, and the party hurries away before something worse goes down. Finally, quality time with a powerful pirate queen. Let's get the party started.
Eric: So you're walking into Tessie's chambers with Razz here. I think that there's like a Press A to Continue. Brandon, stop running around. Hold on. It's to too— it's too distracting. Stop, don't make me go run around. Stop it. Stop it. Yeah. Is there anything you want to do before you walk in just because we're uh—we're starting up here?
Julia: I think we should probably send Havana Tropicana back to the boat.
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, you're too drunk.
Julia (as Cammie): Havana, too drunk.
Eric (as Havana): What?
Amanda: Yeah, Troy puts his hands on both Havana's shoulders as he wobbles slightly. Does he have shoulders? I guess the curves that are where his shoulders.
Eric: The curve of the— of the orange slice.
Julia: It's where the arm meets the circle—
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: –that is his body.
Brandon: On his body.
Eric: It's like when you learn about-- you know in math when there's that parallel line that touches the— touches the side of a circle just once.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Okay, okay.
Eric: Yeah. But you know what I'm talking about.
Amanda (as Troy): Bud uh, there—there comes a point in a great night where it's time to go home. And now your sole task is to head back to the boat, to the ship. Make sure Harold's okay, alright?
Amanda: And then as Troy is patting Havana on the shoulder, he's going to take the spectacles and slip them inside of Havana's coat.
Eric: Cool. Do you want Havana to know that he has the spectacles?
Amanda: Uh, it's not important.
Eric: It's not important—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: It's not important to Eric, or it's not important to Havana?
Amanda: Not important to—to Troy. So I can roll Stealth if you want.
Eric: It's up to you. If you want him to know that's fine, but If you don't want him to know, you got to do some sleight of hand for me.
Amanda: I prefer he not know, so let me— let me do sleight of hand.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I think you should give advantage because he's super drunk too, right?
Julia: Hmm, interesting.
Eric: Oh, I'm gonna be rolling for his perception against this.
Amanda: Guys, Amanda got a new D20 and I got a 21 there. 19 + 2.
Julia: Wooo!
Brandon: Ooohh it’s a hot D20.
Amanda: Got a liquid core, baby.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: I rolled with disadvantage, I got a 16.
Amanda: Great. Fair.
Eric: So he did not see that that happened.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: With disadvantage? Wow, his stats must be good or you rolled it very well.
Eric: I roll— I rolled a 13 and a 14 and he has + 3—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: —because he's a smarty, especially in—in medicine and stuff.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: So even while drunk he's like—
Eric (as Havana): Uh, Troy we’re um, don't tell the other at ones but um—
Brandon (as Umbi): We're right here.
Eric (as Havana): We're all best friends. But they’re, but—
Julia (as Cammie): Awww.
Eric (as Havana): —but like um. I feel like I can talk to you about it because we spent all that time [hiccups] in a hot tub.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, man. That's—that's what happens when you’re— when you’re shipmates, you know? We’re on the Sea Whip together, that means we're blood, man. Not like those— those jerks at that school for men doctors who kicked you out. They are your brothers in arms, not fair!
Amanda: And then Troy wipes away a single tear. A single tear.
Brandon (as Umbi): We would never put you on a canoe and throw you out to the middle of the ocean.
Amanda (as Troy): Never unless we're with you, and then it's the mission.
Eric (as Havana): Can I be—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, exactly.
Eric (as Havana): Can I be honest with you about something?
Amanda (as Troy): Always.
Eric (as Havana): When they put me out there, I woke up, it was my bed mattress.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, right. I forgot about that. Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Aww.
Eric (as Havana): No. And then after that, I found a wrecked ship. And I saw dead bodies, and I stole their door. And that's—
Julia (as Cammie): Ohhh.
Eric (as Havana): —and then I saw—I saw their souls leaving their bodies and go up to the Planter.
Amanda (as Troy): Bud now that—
Julia (as Cammie): Fascinating.
Amanda (as Troy): —now that door is helping other people in the Hold, making new houses for themselves. And that's the way of the Great Salt Sea.
Eric (as Havana): It's what I see when I go to sleep.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think. I guess you didn't get to the morgue portion of med school yet.
Julia (as Cammie): I was gonna say I feel like you would have been aware of dead bodies and the things that resemble them, being a doctor.
Eric (as Havana): It was just—we—were just— were dealing with skeletons first.
Brandon (as Umbi): Right, right.
Julia (as Cammie): Ahhhh.
Eric (as Havana): Just root systems, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. Cellulose.
Eric (as Havana): Yes. Just—just the skins.
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, I think them two are so old, that they just, it's like less of a big deal to think about death. I know what you mean, bro.
Julia (as Cammie): I've seen so many dead bodies.
Amanda (as Troy): So, um—
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm already dead.
Amanda (as Troy): So you—you going back to the boat. You say hi to Harold, and you uh—you take a nice little nap. We'll be home soon.
Eric (as Havana): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Havana, I want you to know, there's no such thing as being too drunk on a pirate ship. But there is a such thing as getting the ship ready to make a very fast exit.
Julia (as Cammie): Ask Harold, say may I have some water, please? And also get ready for a fast exit.
Eric (as Havana): May I ask for water, please? [mumbles] And get ready for a fast exit.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, it's pretty good.
Brandon (as Umbi): Perfect.
Amanda (as Troy): Nailed it.
Eric (as Havana): Okay.
Amanda: Havana didn't have a Fast Pass bracelet, right?
Julia: No, he's not being tracked. Yeah.
Eric: No, he had to get in for free, he had to pay. Do you—hey, Troy, do you want the other PCs to know that they—they don't have the glasses?
Amanda: Yes. No, I'm—I'm happy for Cammie and Umbi to have seen me do that. I just— I thought that Havana would be more suspicious if he knew he was doing something stealthy than if he didn't.
Eric: No, that's fair.
Julia: He would have gotten psyched out. Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You're showing it like you're a magician.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: It's like look at this bird, and then it disappears.
Amanda: Yes, yes.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I made eye contact with the other two and showed them that the goods were— were going home to the boat.
Eric: Wonderful. Yeah.
Eric (as Razz): Come on. I'm not gonna get any older, but I'm not getting any younger. Time moves definitely for me because I'm rich.
Julia (as Cammie): Wow. I would love some of that magic.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's called money.
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, is this how everyone from Overstalk flirts?
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know. I've never flirted with anyone from Overstalk before.
Brandon (as Umbi): Right. I'm right here.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, I mean, you guys are married. Does it feel weird that she's flirting with us?
Brandon (as Umbi): We’re not married at all.
Julia (as Cammie): But you guys did that thing on the boat.
Brandon (as Umbi): And this isn't flirty. I think you guys are confused about what flirting is.
Julia (as Cammie): I know what flirting is.
Eric (as Razz); Oh, believe me. You'd know if you— I was flirting with you and hit you right in the face. Why didn't you come at the Stalk and see me out there sometime?
Julia (as Cammie): Do you flirt by hitting people in the face?
Eric (as Razz): Yeah. It feels like it, darling.
Amanda (as Troy): Wow.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Razz): Slap! You’re a hottie.
Julia (as Cammie): Wow!
Julia: Cammie just holds her cheek.
Julia (as Cammie): Wow.
Amanda (as Troy): Honestly, I'm intrigued.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm super not.
Eric: I just like the sheltered life that Cammie grew up living. It's like wow, this is flirting, I love it.
Julia (as Cammie): Listen, there's regional differences. Sometimes flirting is giving someone some eggs, and sometimes apparently it's slapping someone across the face.
Eric: Yeah. It's The Five Love Languages. Hell yeah. Alright, y'all want to go in?
Julia: Yeah!
Amanda: Let’s do it.
Brandon: I want to Press A.
Amanda: Press A.
Eric: Press A.
Julia: I keep double jumping.
Eric: Cammie hold on, we can't—we can't do this until Cammie stops moving. The server’s slow, hold on.
Brandon: Cammie has glitched into the door on accident.
Julia: Whoops.
Eric: I know.
Amanda: Ah, piss.
Eric: You're now part of a word shark now.
Julia: Ohh, fun.
Amanda: Mmmm. Nice.
Brandon: Cammie is speed running this campaign.
Eric: You—
Amanda: Can they clip through to the boss level?
Eric: Yeah, you can clip through to the basement which is where the boss is.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Yeah, the Salmon’s down there.
Julia: Woah!
Brandon: Whoa! What?! How did it get there?
Julia: Who would have guessed it was underneath the recreation of what the Infinite Lake and the Salmon were.
Eric: Now that we've done this like a cutscene, I feel like this is like a PS1 style like survival horror game like or—or Resident Evil where like, there's a very short cutscene of just the doors opening going [creaky door opening]
Julia: Mmm. Mmm.
Brandon: Mmm.
Amanda: Are we going like off the main hallway of the Book Depository, or we sort of going to the inner sanctum?
Eric: I think you're going to the inner sanctum. Yeah. Razz has led you in and a bunch of different guards have let you pass different security checks, and now you're kind of like in the atrium outside of her chambers.
Brandon: Umbi says to Razz—
Brandon (as Umbi): Beauty before age. Please, after you.
Brandon: I want Razz to go first.
Eric: Wow, Razz walks in and gets shot by 20 arrows after she steps on—
Julia: Nooo.
Eric: —one weird colored tile.
Julia: You called it, Brandon.
Eric: Alright, as you walk in, you'll notice that it actually looks quite a lot like your captain's quarters on the ship.
Julia: The haunted one?
Eric: Yeah, the haunted one.
Amanda: The haunted one.
Eric: It's like uh, Tessie wanted to recreate a Pirate’s Captain quarters here inside of a building.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: It's like oddly shaped in the way, that it's like you know how it would usually be installed in like the front of the boat. So it's like, boat-shaped. The room it's—it looks like a gumdrop, the shape of a big gumdrop. And there's like these faux windows that look out on the big book room. And there's like, you know, nautical maps and dark wood and a-- ostensibly a desk, which is kind of shoved over in the left corner and a big pirate ship wheel kind of installed up in the top, so everyone knows she's a pirate. But of course, it's hard for you to walk through because there are stacks of books everywhere covered in various webs and cobwebs. It gets stuck to you as you walk through the room. Tessie is sitting up, kind of like on a raised platform in her chair, which on closer inspection you realize is actually just two rods of metal that are spider silk stitched together to be one giant chair for her to sit in.
Julia: Very cool.
Brandon: Respect.
Eric: If you got your own materials, store bought is fine, but you might as well make it yourself. Which is important for her because Tessie looks a little bit different than the other Greenfolk that you've seen. Her body and her clothes look a lot more traditional to what you’ve seen. It's kind of like a humanoid body and she's wearing like real classic pirate captain look, like black and red striped pants, the low-slung belt with the cutlass on it. The big like almost Conquistador jackets with like the epaulets on it and the stitching, and the—and the buttons that only get tied together ostensibly by like a small piece of cloth holding it all together. But the main thing that you notice about Tessie is that from her head outwards, her whole head is the body of a spider. With eight eyes, five of them have eye patches on them, and then six legs are coming out of the body itself. Very large that touch onto the ground for her even while she's sitting, her humanoid legs are just kind of like touching the ground ever so slightly. But she's propped up by her six spider legs. For those of you who watch Teen Titans you might know, kind of like what Fang does. I'm gonna send you a photo of what I'm talking about here.
Amanda: Oh, boy.
Julia: I hate that.
Brandon: Eric, I love you. I love this. I hate this.
Eric: That's fine. She's a brown recluse spider. So dark brown with lighter brown markings all over her head body and her pirate outfit is just like the deepest velvet red you can see, as much dark red, like dark red stripes on her striped pants, velvet red jacket. You know the only pirate puffy shirt you were allowed to wear if you were a pirate. But it's—she's a lady, so it's low cut.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: And there's a tri-corner hat with a big red feather coming out of the top perched on top of her spider head.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon (as Umbi): The drip.
Eric: Though then again if you want to tell me where the hat’s supposed to go, I never went to hat college.
Julia: No.
Amanda: It’s on the butt of the spider.
Eric: Yeah, I think the butt of the spider.
Amanda: Troy is uh, his eyes are very wide. He's never seen any Greenfolk like this Greenfolk.
Eric: You hear behind you—
Eric (as Piney): Oh, yeah, go on in. This is— this is the proper time.
Eric: And you turn around and Piney is standing behind you.
Julia (as Cammie): Hi, Piney.
Brandon (as Umbi): When did you get there?
Eric (as Piney): Recently.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, Piney is uh, is now a good time to return this just in case?
Amanda: And Troy's gonna take off his VIP bracelet.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, I mean, you still have a few day— you definitely still have a few days in terms of the ticket. Right. Ms. Ra—Ms. Razz this was—you got that—you got the full VIP, correct?
Eric (as Razz): Absolutely. I don't do anything other than the full way. I don't know halfway. I don't do quarter-way. My whole body's full way, you know what I'm saying.
Julia (as Cammie): Ohh.
Eric: I turned it into Mae West sometime in between here, and I'm gonna keep going good with it.
Amanda: It's great.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah. So you still have a—you still have two full days on it. So it's up to you. However much time. VIP tickets count for three days.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's nice.
Julia (as Cammie): That's very generous.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's a good deal.
Julia (as Cammie): Mmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright. Thank you, ma’am.
Eric (as Piney): We care a lot about our VIP members here at the Book Depository Park. Isn't that— isn't that right, Captain?
Eric (as Tessie the Storm): Absolutely. Yeah, come on in make my—make yourself comfortable. I want to make sure that all of my VIPs feel like you have a chance to sit down with the actual person behind you know, the Book Depository Park.
Brandon: Umbi turns to Piney and says—
Brandon (as Umbi): Piney, I can't help but notice you're blocking our exit.
Eric (as Piney): Oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): Would you mind moving off to the side?
Eric: Piney looks over to Tessie and she says—
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah, absolutely. Piney uh—your— Piney, this is supposed to be a social gathering. Plea— you can take your— take your seat at your seat.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you.
Eric: Piney walks over to the desk and leans against it.
Eric (as Tessie ): Cool. Alright, all come in. Come uh everyone, come on in, come on in. Please, I'm so—
Eric: I'm going into Obama a little bit.
Amanda: Troy takes a couple steps forward and sticks out his hand.
Amanda (as Troy): Captain— Captain uh Tessie, it is uh—it is great to meet you. Troy Riptide, aspiring pirate, and I feel like you probably have a lot of lessons for me. So I appreciate you meeting with us. Is-- grandpa, did I do that right? Is this networking?
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh, I think so. I love the— I love the quarters. We have something similar on our boat but it's haunted so we don't really get to go in there very much.
Julia (as Cammie): Super haunted. Can't really go in there.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Tessie): It really tells a story. That's something you really need if you're a pirate crew. 50 years into the cascade. Smart.
Brandon (as Umbi): It’s not a story, it's real, there's ghosts.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, there's really a ghost.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Tessie): Absolutely. And that's why people trust you and fear you for sure.
Julia (as Cammie): Mmmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Our ship's kind of a piece of shit though. So yours is a lot nicer.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Tessie): Oh, come on. I'm sure yours is fine for what you have to do.
Julia (as Cammie): No, it's notably a piece of shit.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. You look at it and you'd be like, I don’t even wanna rob that, I don’t even wanna bother.
Brandon (as Umbi): The name on the side is just a poop emoji.
Eric (as Tessie): Honestly that's bad branding. I do think you should probably decide to fix it.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, good, good.
Eric (as Tessie): But no, the Sea Whip. I've heard uh—I've heard of the things your crew is a— a few of the things your crew has done.
Amanda (as Troy): Ohhh.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Like what?
Eric (as Tessie): Oh---
Julia (as Cammie): I don't even know what we've done.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie you were there.
Julia (as Cammie): Huh!
Eric (as Tessie): Oh, you know have— being able to establish your own island like you have in the Hold, that's—that's wonderful. And the waterfall, really interesting stuff. It really makes you stand out from the rest of the crews that are out there.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Wow.
Brandon (as Umbi): I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of the Hold.
Eric: Tessie winks her three good eyes.
Eric (as Tessie): For sure. Yeah. I understand. I'm not—listen, I'm not just CEO and founder of Book Depository Island. I'm also a pirate. I'm a captain myself. I understand. I know.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. I mean, none of us are captains because we have kind of like a socialism thing going, like we're literally a commune. I think now that I think about it, but I—I love that for you. You have a great charismatic presence.
Eric (as Tessie): Thank you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Tessie): And I love that for you. I love the whole, who knows who's responsible for doing what thing. It's so fresh. It's new. I—I like it.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Are you the fou-- like, don't—don't take this disrespectfully.
Amanda (as Troy): Grandpa.
Brandon (as Umbi): But you joined—you like kind of like took over like three years ago or something I heard? So like, would you say founder was it because the— this part of the island wasn’t around? Is that what you mean?
Eric (as Piney): I told you. I told you about him Tessie, he's been doing this ever since I knew him in the government.
Eric (as Tessie): Of course, I don't—I am happy to share our founding story. It's uh— even to people who are a little of a– were a little skeptical of what that means. Well, the Book Depository was here. This was a place you know, a lot of pirates don't. I—
Eric: —hold on I need to get—I'm trying to get the voice back. Iron Sisters.
Eric (as Tessie): A lot of pirates don't care about the wealth of information that comes in books. They just want to get rid of them because they get waterlogged and they're heavy. But they only see the wealth of doublooms and of Amber. But it's something that we can trade on here. The Book Depository was run by a few people, didn't see its potential and I came—I came and saw its potential and what this means not only for the Great Salt Sea, but for Verda Stello as a whole.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, we're big fans of books here, right guys?
Amanda (as Troy): Yes.
Brandon (as Umbi): I love books.
Amanda (as Troy): I've read, like three books already.
Eric (as Tessie): That puts you in the 8— 80th percentile of pirates. So it's incredible, it's cre—That’s incredible.
Julia (as Cammie): That's pretty good, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Woah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Woah.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah. Public schools, you know.
Amanda (as Troy): So—
Eric (as Tessie): They really need us— they got to start letting men in. It's uh—it's honestly going to be a problem, if we don’t prop up our society like that.
Amanda (as Troy): It's like, I don't even know that I should want to read, because I—I never saw any man reading. And so I mean, here I am.
Brandon (as Umbi): I went to public school. I'm confused.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. But grandpa that was before the Cascade dried up.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay.
Amanda (as Troy): A lot different.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Right. Oh, right.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah, our—our entire country changed for-- in irrevocable ways ever since the Cascade dried up. But I think we're at the point 50 years in where we need to move on. It's almost-- the entire world’s been treading water for the last 50 years figuring out what happens next. And we got to take that next step. And I think that the Book Depository is what's important here, which is why I needed to make a strategic and powerful move to create the Book Depository and bring people both pirates and the families of pirates and hopefully other people from the countries, from the mainland, to come to Book Depository Island.
Brandon (as Umbi): Kind of like a Library of Alexandria thing. You know, the maple leaf, Alexandria?
Eric (as Tessie): I don't uh—your friend Alexandria? I'm not very worldly.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, her library was huge!
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): But then it burned down and we're all really sad about it.
Amanda (as Troy): So um, what is the—what is the deal over at the—the theme park? We haven't been able to, to make it over there yet. We're just you know, hungry for books. So came—came here first.
Eric (as Tessie): Oh, sure. I mean, as you spend all your time in the cri—at Crimson’s Exchange, I understand.
Brandon (as Umbi): Good drinks.
Eric (as Tessie): Great drinks.
Julia (as Cammie): Great drinks.
Eric (as Tessie): Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, the theme parks there for uh—to make everyone have a good time. The theme park and the Book Depository work in concert. It reminds people that the Book Depository is a good place to be. And the theme park generates revenue alongside the Book Exchange, which I mean we all know doesn't bring in the doublooms as it is. But they work together. It's important to make people happy and have the books come through and really be an exchange of knowledge for what we can do next and for what waits for all of us as Greenfolk in the future.
Brandon(as Umbi): Have you had any success in that arena? I've—in my experience, I’ve found that people hate knowledge, expertise, facts and reality.
Eric (as Tessie): I—I can see what you mean Razz, he's uh— I can absolutely see how he's such a firebrand in the Senate. He's bringing it now. It's uh— it's one— it's incredible to see, it’s history right in front of me.
Brandon (as Umbi): I felt like It was pretty respectful question. I don't know.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm sorry. Do you guys like know each other? Because it seems like Razz uh—well, one paid money. Not like she got a discount to come in as your friend. Do you guys know each other?
Eric (as Razz): Oh, absolutely. I come here all the time. It's part of— part of my job as a merchant to make sure that we have comings and goings and things, and ins and outs, and imports and exports.
Julia (as Cammie): Why did you have so many questions then for the guy if you've been here so many times?
Eric (as Tessie): Honestly, it's— she does every single time. It— she does—
Julia (as Cammie): That's wild.
Eric (as Tessie): Is—it's kind of like a trial by fire to talk to Razz if you're working the toll for the first time. It's—it happens every time.
Brandon: Eric, have I used my— I think I know you this long rest? I can't remember.
Eric: Yeah, you use it on the avocado dude.
Brandon: God damn it. Okay. Cool.
Eric: Actually uh, get to the point. Make in a—make a perception check for me.
Brandon: Everyone?
Eric: Uh, Brandon.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Umbis
Julia: Umbis
Brandon: My name is not Umbis
Amanda: The Umbis.
Eric: The Umbis
Brandon: Ooohh. 19 + 2 for 21.
Julia: Yes, Brandon, yes.
Eric: 21. As you are working this out, your mind starts to drift as you do as an old man and you start looking around the room a little bit, and your eyes go up. And you see that there is a giant spider web with large wrapped-up cocoons—
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: —up there.
Julia: Noooo.
Eric: And then you look at them and you count them, there's 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 of them. And as you're looking around, you see over to the left, above Piney, who's leaning against the desk but still like 10-15 feet in the air. There is a big green splotch on the wall.
Brandon: Gross.
Eric: That could be… I mean, could be, I don't know if someone mush peas, I guess against the wall, or maybe an avocado.
Amanda: No, no.
Julia: Oh, no! But his children and his grandchildren.
Brandon: Well, Eric said it was green, not brown. So it's not the old avocado.
Julia: Is it slowly turning brown at the edges?
Eric: There could be some brown splotches by being revealed to the– to the for the air for so long.
Julia: How many grandkids did he have with him?
Eric: Uh, like a grip? Like four, five?
Amanda: Oh, boy.
Eric: Five?
Brandon (as Umbi): Um, Captain Tessie, would you prefer Captain Tessie?
Eric (as Tessie); Oh, I mean, if we're being formal, Captain Tessie was my mother. I'm just kidding. No Tessie, Te— The storm, Tessie's fine. We're uh—
Julia (as Cammie): Captain Storm?
Eric (as Tessie): Captain Storm's good too. Any—any combination of—any combination of names, it's fine.
Brandon (as Umbi): Captain the Storm, I can't help but notice. Seems like you killed a few Greenfolk and put them in a web up there. Is that like a capitalism thing? Are you like trying to like, bring down the rich VIPs?
Julia: Is that like a capitalism thing?
Brandon (as Umbi): Because if that's what—if—
Julia (as Cammie): If it's anti-capitalism, we’re behind it!
Brandon (as Umbi): Right. That's what I mean. Like, are you trying to like stick it to the man like, because we're not wealthy pirates. We actually got in here with Razz's donation. So like—
Amanda: I don’t even know what Amber looks like.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I heard the color Amber, but that's all I know. I like–
Julia: They literally know that's not true.
Brandon (as Umbi): And we'd be—we—we would be the proletariat, you know what I mean?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. Because like we—you know, we get in touch with all kinds of ships all the time in our— in our work. And, you know, spreading the—the good news of the—the book depository, you know, I'm—I'm a huge fan of books. Would love to—would love to keep talking about books and send people here. If we were to, you know, leave safe and alive.
Julia: I love that our argument every time is like, we could just send people here instead of us.
Amanda: So far. Yeah.
Julia: We did the same thing on Esca.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: We’re doing the same thing here.
Brandon (as Umbi): Better them than us, Julia.
Julia: Thanks, Umbi
Eric (as Tessie): If that's what do you want to do. I don't ascribe to this whole socialist red ship thing you have all going. I love it. It's just not what I—it's not my thing. Come on we're uh— I understand maybe, you know being a pirate is you're in the public eye all the time in uh—as you relate to each other, as everyone is looking at what you are going to do and what you do next. Well, it might mean an eye or two is taken out. Come on. We're all— we're all pirates here. You got to—
Julia (as Cammie): Mu—murder? Do you want me to finish the sentence? Is the word murder you were looking for?
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah. I—Yeah.
Eric: Julia, I literally was just going to do Tony Soprano for a second.
Julia: Ayo-ah.
Eric: Ayo-ah.
Julia: — murder.
Eric (as Tessie); You know, you have to do what you have to do.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hey, I mean, like, look, we're pirates. It's— hey, there ain't not blood in our leaves.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): But like, you know, we live by a code, right? Like, we only kill if we need to, certain types of people. You know—
Eric (as Tessie): Sure. Absolutely.
Brandon (as Umbi): And usually we just let the crab eat them.
Eric (as Tessie): I live by a code as well.
Brandon (as Umbi): What's your code is what I'm asking?
Eric (as Tessie): My code is—well, you know why they call me Tessie the Storm, right?
Brandon (as Umbi): Is it because you were born in the heart of a tornado?
Julia (as Cammie): Or a hurricane? A typhoon maybe?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oohh, a typhoon.
Eric (as Tessie): Interesting. Well, you know, no one's asked me that before. No one's actually asked me that before because uh–
Brandon (as Umbi): You asked.
Eric (as Tessie): Well no, no one's no one's posited that particular—
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohhh.
Julia (as Cammie): Theory?
Eric (as Tessie): Theory before.
Brandon (as Umbi): We are the most creative pirates around.
Amanda (as Troy): Only ones who read that I— I knew of.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah. Well, Piney, you know— Piney say it.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah. You should uh— they call—they call her Tessie the Storm because you should have stayed at home instead of going out—instead of going out in it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohhh.
Julia (as Cammie): Is it the— didn't you just say you want the opposite, where you want more people to come here?
Eric (as Tessie): Well, if they cross me. Then if they—they come—if they walk through the storm, I'm not—
Brandon (as Umbi): Right.
Eric (as Tessie): —responsible for anything that happens.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, sure.
Eric (as Tessie): It's interesting—it's interesting you say that because I was actually born in-- amongst the things that you say. You know, I grew up in the Crags.
Amanda (as Troy): Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags.
Brandon (as Umbi): Crags, Crags, Crags, Crags.
Eric (as Tessie): Oh Crags too? Okay, so you know that the whole, whenever you're born in the Crags, usually, the towns come—towns are set up along something interesting or useful. And although—and for us, the way that the wind currents came together meant that it was constantly thunderstorming, just constant thunder and lightning. And it was our resolute duty to stay there. Because when the lightning struck the sand and the soil that would gather around the trees there, that would flash-fossilize. And that material being incredibly durable and resistant, but also light, was perfect for construction that we distributed all throughout the Crags. And of course, we couldn't use it ourselves, because it attracted more lightning. It's kind of a—a real-- We could buy—we could harvest this stuff, but we couldn't use it ourselves.
Julia (as Cammie): This is super interesting. Why do you want to kill us?
Eric (as Tessie): I don't.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, Tessie doesn't. We're in the—we're in the eye of the storm, right Cammie?
Julia (as Cammie): I— I don't know. It seems like I'm being threatened and I don't know why. That's why I asked.
Amanda: Troy is weeping openly thinking of the Crags.
Eric (as Tessie): So, I have a question. You know, you've all asked me some questions, but I actually have a question for all of you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Waddup?
Julia (as Cammie): Mmmm.
Amanda (as Troy): [sobs] Anything.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm an open book. You get it?
Julia: Cammie just rubs Troy's back.
Amanda (as Troy): [sobs] Thank you.
Julia (as Cammie): It’s okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Did you get it? Tessie, did you get it?
Eric (as Tessie): I did. And that will pro—that will lead into my question.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, no.
Eric (as Tessie): Have the three of you read anything interesting lately?
Julia (as Cammie): Oh my gosh. Troy just read a book about barrels.
Amanda (as Troy): I read a book about barrels. I know a lot of things about barrels.
Eric (as Tessie): Barrels, barrels.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Tessie): And you read it the regular way with your eyes?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. I mean, it takes me— it takes me a little slow sometimes. Sometimes Harold and I that's a— that's—that's a crewmate we have back on the ship. Sometimes we read it to each other as we fall asleep like bros. And it's a—it's really nice and I know some barrel facts if you— if you want to know them.
Brandon (as Umbi): In each other arms.
Amanda (as Cammie): I know how to read Braille.
Brandon (as Umbi): I read a really nice like Rom-com, like a will they, won't they recently, it was really fun.
Eric (as Tessie): You wouldn't know anything about, I don't know. Reading non-traditionally?
Brandon (as Umbi): Like—
Julia (as Cammie): Like I said, I know Braille.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, Cammie knows Braille.
Amanda (as Troy): I know that-- all about reading, but sometimes you have to stop to read to laugh because um, I learned actually that there is something called a large barrel, what it's called a butt, and that is the name of the size of the barrel.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's where porkbutt comes from actually.
Julia (as Cammie): Woah!
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, it's really interesting. And so when people like went around the butt, like the barrel, the butt that held a lot of water, and then they just talked a lot. It was called the Scuttlebut. And so that's why—
Julia (as Cammie): Woah!
Amanda (as Troy): —that's why actually we use the name Scuttlebut—
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohh, that's cool.
Amanda ( as Troy): —as like gossip and like mates telling each other mate things.
Eric (as Tessie): I think maybe we're spending a little bit too much time dancing around here.
Brandon (as Umbi): Who’s dancing? I’m not dancing. I don't even know how to dance.
Julia (as Cammie): We were just talking about Scuttlebut.
Julia (as Tessie): Piney, can you uh, bring it over to me?
Eric: Piney walks over, would reaches into the desk, pulls something out, and walks it over to Tessie. And you look at it, it's an incredibly yellowed newspaper. It's tattered, you can kind of only see some of the text on it. Tessie uses two of her big spi—spider hands and reaches like all the way around and holds it-- and kind of like holds it out and flicks it open.
Julia (as Cammie): Is that a Doctor Radish Radish original?
Eric (as Tessie): No, but it's interesting. Interesting you know about it— you know about him. He was actually— he was cited in this particular article in this newspaper.
Julia: Ohh. I’m pissed we paid off Piney now.
Amanda: I know. If I cost us Amber, I'm gonna be really fucking pissed.
Julia: Well, I'm gonna steal it back from him probably.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: So we'll see.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: When we kill them, we'll take it off their dead body.
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Tessie): And you know, what's interesting about this newspaper, this was written in the days after a little town on the edge of O-- of Overstalk called Briars-- Briars County. Yeah, they wrote about— they've actually found one of the stones that was uncovered when the Cascade dried up. And it turns out that they saw something in there. There was something else on that particular stone that no one had seen and that we haven't been— hasn't been, you know--
Julia (as Cammie): Like different from the other ones.
Eric (as Tessie): An extra, yes. An extra sentence attached to the bottom one. So which is different from just the thing we all know as Greenfolk that's been disseminated through our countries. Unfortunately, it's a little bit yellowed, so I don't have a way to read it. Unless something, unless I had some other methodology of making that happen. You would—you three wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
Amanda (as Troy): Well, I— I was actually a little bit shy to bring it up because I'm a little bit worried it's offensive, but um— does having three eyes make you better at reading? Is that like, does that—would that help?
Eric (as Tessie): That's not exactly what I'm talking about.
Amanda (as Troy): Ohhh.
Julia (as Cammie): I was gonna say maybe Umbi, do you have some chemicals? Maybe we can bring the ink out of the paper?
Amanda (as Troy): Or you know what—
Brandon (as Umbi): We can definitely try.
Amanda (as Troy): —Cammie does amazing stuff with tea and maybe um—maybe if you like made a brew, then— then the like ink will be—
Brandon (as Umbi): Oooh, I like that.
Amanda (as Troy): —more contrast.
Brandon (as Umbi): Forensic, forensic literature? Is that a thing?
Julia (as Cammie): Ooohh.
Eric (as Razz): Umbi, you better shut your sweet mouth right now.
Eric (as Tessie): I'm gonna give you one more chance here. Do you have something to tell me about nontraditional reading styles?
Julia (as Cammie): I can honestly say no.
Brandon (as Umbi): As I can honestly say, I do sometimes read upside down, but that's it.
Eric (as Tessie): You know what's interesting about some of the people who were in here. You know, there was a—we said something about— you said something about a code before. You know there was another—another Greenfolk who was here talking about a code. Did you see an old avocado man walking around the park?
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't remember him.
Julia (as Cammie): We did. We did. He spent a lot of time yelling at us.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohh, I don't think so.
Julia (as Cammie): So, I kinda just ignored him.
Eric (as Tessie): Yeah. He came in here as well and spent a lot of time yelling and you know, one of his-- he had a code as well and I didn't really understand it because I also think that every single pirate crew should have a magician.
Julia: God fucking damnit.
Eric: Piney steps forward and underneath you, you feel the ground start to shake and you see that pine trees are growing out from beneath your feet.
Amanda: Whoa.
Eric: You jump out of the way, but they still keep growing and growing. They block your eyesight to Tessie and Piney has their hands up shaking and glowing with light.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. This arc has really made me dream of all of the gift shops that I have been to at previous museums and science centers and tourist attractions, and how amazing it is to go to a gift shop and find something particularly amazing that reminds you of the stuff you just enjoyed seeing. So welcome to the mid-roll. They have those like balls on a chain that click and clack and make you think of physics, amazing. Welcome, first and foremost to our newest patrons Daphne Blender, Danza, and Johanna, it is a great time to support This campaign on Patreon letting us as an independent podcast keep making the show that you and we enjoy so much. for just $5 a month on Patreon you can number one, know you're making a huge difference in making the show possible. And two, get access to our patron-only Discord. And three, get an additional bi-weekly podcast from us. On party planning, we answer your questions, play games and peel back the curtain of the making of Join the Party. Plus you get access to the finale of the One Shot Derby Battle of the Bronte's, which I gotta tell you, it's coming pretty soon. So please join us today at patreon.com/join thepartypod. This week at Multitude we would love if you checked out Tell Me About It. A madcap game show about proving that the things you like are actually interesting. It's hosted by our own Eric Silver and Adal Rifai, the wonderful co-host of Hello from the Magic Tavern and Hey Riddle Riddle. Adal plays on the show an eccentric billionaire who has wrangled audio Butler Eric to prove that the single most interesting and cool thing ever is the movie musical Grease. In every episode, a guest comes on to share and defend their favorite thing through a series of absurd games and challenges. And it is so, so much fun. There are new episodes every other Thursday. And if you like sound design, if that's one of the things that you love about Join the Party you're gonna really like Tell Me About It, because Mischa Stanton does an incredible job. Check it out, look at Tell Me About It in your podcast app, or go to tmaipod.com. We are sponsored this week by the Oracles of Aughra. Sarsen Games' fourth successful Kickstarter project. This is a book of Gods, avatars, and subclasses. It makes up a whole new pantheon of gods that you can use to build champions, religions, cults, factions, holy sites, epic encounters, you name it, this makes it possible to do it. Each God has their own backstory and character points that can turn them into a good, evil or chaotic neutral deity. So you can shape them to your world and whatever way you want and make really unique moments for your players. There are over 40 subclasses planned for the book, each one being linked to a god in some way. That includes Sand Druids, Starlight Rouges, Tomb Warlocks, Zen Barbarians, and more, including some Artificers and Blood hunters. Oh, sounds fun. This is their most ambitious project to date. And they've had hundreds of positive comments and reviews online. The Kickstarter is live through May 31, 2023, but go ahead and get gotta check it out now. visit sarsengames.com or @sarsengames on Instagram to find out more. Link is in the description to follow the Kickstarter and make it happen. The show is also sponsored by BetterHelp. Now in life, it's really, really easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you and not take a moment to think about what you need from yourself. And this is a thing that I really struggle with. I have been trying to make my garden and kind of the minutes each day that I get to spend on the roof, checking on them, watering them, breathing in, you know the air, and just like having a few minutes of the sun on my face, as one of those things that I need to feel calm and centered and ready for all the things that life throws at me. But it can be a real hassle to kind of figure out what you need and what makes you feel good and how to keep yourself in tip-top shape. And therapy is a really good way to learn more about yourself and learn those positive coping skills. But I know firsthand how hard it is to get started in therapy. Just like how do you find somebody? Do you like pay for the first phone call? Like do you figure out if they like take insurance, or if they're taking new patients? What times are available? Or be like, can you come in at two o'clock on every other Tuesday, and you're like no I have work. It can be really, really hard. 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[theme]
Eric: I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw for me.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh, if—if we weren't about to be attempted murdered, that would be fucking cool as hell.
Amanda: That's cool as hell, I love this image. I got a 15 minus 1.
Julia: 18.
Brandon: Nat 20, my bro.
Amanda: Wow!
Julia: Fuck yeah, bro.
Eric: Hell yeah, dude. Troy, make a strength-saving throw for me.
Amanda: Uh, 13.
Eric: Great. As the– the forest grows around you and you lose sight of Tessie the Storm, Piney, and Razz, and of course of each other. Each of you feel something like putting their hands on you and as you turn around, Cammie and Umbi, you see that one of the pine trees that has grown up behind you has hands and arms and are trying to get its hands inside of your coats and your pockets.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, thank you.
Amanda (as Troy): I don't need more friends.
Julia (as Cammie): If you wanted us to empty our pockets we could have just done that. That's okay.
Eric: Troy, as the hands are inside of your hands and pockets, it slashes you with sharp wooden fingers and you take three points of damage.
Amanda (as Troy): Ow?!
Eric: Is that all of your turn right now? Right at your loss inside of the pine forest that's grown, Troy you are turned—you're certainly turned around and the pine tree has its hands on you. You gotta get out of there. You can decide of a way to do it. But both Cammie and Umbi, you have the ability to make a survival check and try to find your way out of the forest. Troy, you got to do something else to get out of there first.
Brandon: How tall would you say these trees are?
Eric: I would say they're touching the ceiling, so—
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Eric: Yeah, they're fully touching the ceiling.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: If we do the survival check, is that our action?
Eric: That would be your action, but you can—you can do something else.
Julia: Alright. I'd like to make a survival check.
Eric: Yeah, make a survival check.
Julia: [dice roll] Uh, that's a 14.
Amanda: Troy's gonna yell—
Amanda (as Troy): Take your bracelets off!
Julia: Oh, yeah, yeah, good point.
Eric: Cammie, well—you push your way through the forest and you are— although you can't see anything behind you, it is just dense trees, you are at the two front doors.
Julia: Like where we came in from?
Eric: We— where you came in from, yeah.
Julia: Um, that's not where I wanted to be, but alright.
Eric: Oh, where do you want to be?
Julia: I wanted to get to Piney and stop this magician bullshit from happening.
Eric: Okay. Yeah sure, you can go that way.
Julia: Okay. Yeah, I'll—I'll head that way. Is that going to immediately get me there my next turn?
Eric: Correct.
Julia: Or does it seem like—
Eric: Correct.
Julia: —okay, hold on. Because there's another action that I want to take before that.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: The other action that I want to take before that is I want to use the hex, Duplicity.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: As an action, you can create an illusionary duplicate self-composed of shadow stuff to confuse your enemies. When a creature attacks you, roll any die. On an odd number, the attack strikes the duplicate and misses regardless of its role and the hex ends. On an even, the attack targets you as normal and this effect ends on your next turn.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: So I'm going to do that, I'm going to take my bracelet off and put it on the illusionary double.
Brandon: Ohh, okay.
Eric: Cool. Is it —it's stable, right?
Julia: I think so. It doesn't specify like, what it is in terms of interaction but I figure—
Eric: No, that's cool. I just didn’t know if you're—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: —if there's no text about it, that's fine.
Eric (as Cammie's double): Avast ye! You're me and I'm you!
Julia (as Cammie): Wow, look at you.
Eric (as Cammie's double): You look great. I love your hat.
Julia (as Cammie): I love your hat, it's made out of shadows.
Eric (as Cammie's double). Oh, neat. I like this bracelet too.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, you can have it.
Eric (as Cammie's double): I will. What should I do?
Julia (as Cammie): Do you want to run outside?
Eric (as Cammie's double): Screaming or not screaming?
Julia (as Cammie): Uh, screaming would be great.
Eric (as Cammie's double): Screaming it is. Aaaaaaaaahhhh!
Julia: Cute, very cute.
Eric: Illusionist Cammie's gonna go running the other direction.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Cammie, you're gonna be heading towards where Tessie and Piney are.
Julia: Great. Thank you.
Brandon: Eric, what do I see around me?
Eric: Trees.
Brandon: Do—can I see the ceiling?
Eric: Barely. I think it's like you're truly like in an incredibly dense forest and you look up and you only see like slots of sky.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You know, it's not a rainforest, you know. But like you just see tree and then there's a skybox, you know what I mean? So this would be like trees and then ceiling.
Brandon: And whe— it's a one-storey building, correct?
Eric: The building itself is five.
Brandon: Ohh, interesting. Okay. I think I'm going to throw just a good old bomb up towards the ceiling because I do two times damage to objects and structures.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: I'm gonna try to blow a hole in the ceiling.
Eric: Yeah, make an attack roll against the building. I'm going to look up building AC for you.
Brandon: I'm also going to— I'm going to prime it with a reagent, which increases the bombs explosive potential, and I get to add my intelligence modifier instead of dexterity.
Amanda: Hey.
Eric: Hell yeah, do it. For brick, I think the AC is 16 and the HP for a floor... Okay, I got an HP for it as well, do your thing.
Brandon: Okay, so Umbi takes a couple of vials from inside of his jacket, throws them in a glass sphere. Shakes it up, gives it a nice kiss on the forehead, and rolls his dice.
Julia: He rolls his dice? What does he have dice for?
Brandon: That is a-- for luck, Julia.
Julia: Makes sense.
Brandon: That is a 16 plus 4 for a non-Nat20.
Eric: Yeah, you got it, you got it.
Amanda: Ayeee.
Brandon: Great. So I get to do one D10 times 2.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: Or do I roll it twice?
Eric: Because it's double damage, it's one D10 plus, whatever your modifier is, and then we'll double that.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Big money.
Julia: Big money. Big money.
Brandon: 8 plus 2 for 10. Doubled is 20.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Ayee.
Eric: You may—you throw a bomb up, it's fucking explodes. Again, throwing a bomb in an— in a room is such a fucking power move, I love it.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It explodes against the ceiling. Big cracks are in the ceiling above you. It would be dangerous to walk around in there without like a boulet or something. It doesn't fall though.
Brandon: Okay. And if I have a little bit of movement left, I would like to just like move slightly, so I'm not like directly underneath—
Eric: That's totally—that's totally fine.
Brandon: —where the bomb is.
Eric: Troy, you're currently wrapped up by this tree with arms and hands. What do you do my man?
Amanda: Yeah, do I see above me any indication of this bomb that Umbi set off, or am I to like in the sauce?
Eric: Incredible point. Make a perception check.
Amanda: Okay. [dice roll] Bummer. That's gonna be a 10 minus 1 for a 9.
Eric: A 9. I mean, listen, you still see the bomb, and it is like, Umbi's to the left. But that's all you can—you can figure out right now.
Amanda: Sure.
Brandon: Can you do that perception check to see if you hear Umbi's giggle as his bomb explodes.
Eric: Everyone always–
Amanda: His dice clacking together.
Eric: You know the— you think the witch is the one with the cackle, but it's actually Umbi goes– being excited about explosives.
Amanda: Alright. Yeah, I'm just gonna grab the dagger out of my boot and try to stab the trunk of the pine tree.
Eric: Sure. The tree has an AC of 15.
Amanda: Okay, great. [dice roll] That's only a 12 unfortch.
Eric: That's a 12. No, you try to stab into a tree, and the hands, you stab your dagger into it and nothing changes. The arms are still coming at you with dagger-like fingers.
Amanda: Sure, sure.
Eric: With knife-like fingers.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I mean, yeah, I get it, it's a tree.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. That—
Brandon: It’s hard.
Amanda: —that is what I got.
Eric: You hear through the woods echoing and bouncing off of each of the trees.
Eric (as Tessie): I'll give you one final chance. Do you know anything about reading in a different way? I think you might have something of mine, that might facilitate something like that.
Amanda (as Troy): Search me, we have nothing like that!
Eric: Alright, I'll do that immedia—I'll do that immediately.
Julia (as Cammie): Please.
Brandon: No, don't talk Cammie
Julia: I mean, both versions of me are talking, so—
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda (as Troy): Remember, I haven't—
Eric (as Cammie’s double): I don't know what you're talking about.
Eric: The tree hands go in all of your pockets.
Julia: Cammie just spreads wide.
Amanda: Troy's really ticklish. Troy’s giggling, he’s very ticklish.
Eric: Yeah like the hands will go all over your wings and stuff.
Amanda (as Troy): This is not VIP treatment. God.
Eric: And one of the hand slashes you for five points of damage.
Amanda (as Troy): Aww.
Eric: And Piney says—
Eric (as Piney): The butterfly doesn't have—doesn't have it.
Eric (as Tessie): Any— anyone else have something to say?
Julia (as Cammie): Happy to be searched if you'd like.
Brandon: And what is Cammie's doppelganger say?
Julia: Also says—
Julia (as Cammie's double): Happy to be searched if you like.
Eric (as Cammie's double): Happy to be searched.
Eric (as Tessie): Wait, why are there two of you?
Julia (as Cammie): For fun.
Eric: Cammie, what's your AC?
Julia: Uh, 10.
Eric: 10. Cammie, as you are breaking kind of through the edge of the forest, two different trees reach out with their weird tree hands and arms—
Julia (as Cammie): Ow!
Eric: —and search you and pat you down, and also slash you for 7 points of damage.
Julia (as Cammie): Oww!
Eric (as Piney): Like the tea witch is queen— the tea witch is clean.
Julia: The tea witch is Queen.
Eric: The tea witch is queen.
Julia: Slay.
Julia (as Piney): The tea witch is clean as well.
Amanda (as Troy): You could have just asked us that, god!
Eric (as Tessie): I did ask you that but it's not—
Amanda (as Troy): And we gave you the answer. What's wrong with you?
Eric (as Tessie): What's wrong with you, is you stole something of mine!
Amanda (as Troy): What?!
Eric (as Tessie): And when you go out in the storm, then you better—better get ready to get wet.
Amanda: It's good. It’s a good line.
Eric (as Tessie): What?! What?!
Julia: Cammie starts giggling a little bit.
Eric (as Tessie): What!?
Julia (as Cammie): That's funny.
Amanda (as Troy): Tell us what you think we stole and we will confirm we didn't steal it then. This is not how we do in the Crags and you know it.
Eric: Umbi, what's your AC?
Brandon: Well, here's the question I have Eric. Is there a chance for me to distract these trees? Or if they touch me and try to search me, I've got vials of acid and shit all in my pockets. Is that going to be dangerous for them?
Eric: Um, you can—
Brandon: Like is there any chance of hiding, or they just kind of like an all-seen forest kind of thing?
Eric: That's a good point. Give me an Arcana Check, because I hit— I rolled twice, I hit you once. But let's see if we can do something about the other ones.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Yeah, do an Arcana check against my sleight of hand.
Brandon: [dice roll] A 16 plus 4 for a 20.
Eric: Yeah. Okay. Umbi you get slashed for six points of damage.
Brandon: Jesus Christ.
Eric: As the trees reach out and rake through you.
Julia: Just remember we all have that temporary HP from Havana Tropicana.
Brandon: Oh, I know Julia.
Eric: Yeah. As it rakes through, it slashes your—your old weird, wrinkly body.
Brandon: Hey, rude.
Julia: Kind of rude.
Eric: But as— as one of the trees is reaching through your stuff. Yeah, what kind of vial scorches it?
Brandon: I think most likely it's just going to be yeah, like it rakes his hand through two vials that are next to each other that probably shouldn't have been next to each other because they're reagents of each other.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And just like a small tiny explosion on their hand.
Eric: Cool. And the tree you actually hear ahhhhhhh. And then you hear from Piney—
Eric (as Piney): Ahhh, what was that?
Brandon: And then you hear a small giggle in the forest.
Eric: Yeah. Cammie, you can see that Piney's clutching their hand on the ground and the pine trees, all three of you notice the pine tree forest, flickers for a moment, and then comes back.
Brandon: Ohhh.
Julia: If we hurt the pine trees, it hurts Piney?
Brandon: Sounds like it.
Amanda (as Troy): Whatever you did, do more of that.
Brandon (as Tessie): You all seem to have my glasses, and I need them back.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't use glasses.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm too young—I'm too young to need glasses.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm just stubborn.
Eric: What do you all do?
Amanda: Yeah, uh—
Brandon: Well, sorry, can I actually go first because I'm gonna see if I blow a hole in the ceiling. I think that might affect what we do.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: I'm gonna blow— try to blow into the hole in this damn ceiling.
Eric: Alright, give me another one.
Amanda: Yay. I love bombs.
Brandon: 19. 15 plus 4.
Eric: 19 hits.
Brandon: Nice. So another D10. So 7 times two is 14 damage.
Eric: 14. I roll— I got 23 HP on these bad boys. [explosion] The floor above you just falls down, because bricks and goons and books, and like an old-timey cash register, all falls. I need everyone to make dexterity saving throws.
Julia: God damn it, Umbi.
Amanda: Great.
Brandon: I'm out of the—wait, I'm out of the range of this ceiling. Remember I moved.
Eric: No, the whole ceiling is coming down.
Amanda: Alright 13 for me.
Julia: A big old 3 for your girl.
Amanda: Oh no. [dice roll]
Eric: What did everybody get?
Amanda: 13.
Brandon: I just got a 10. 6 + 4.
Eric: Oh my—okay.
Amanda: Listen guys, we knew this was the value calculation when Brandon chose his subclass.
Julia: This is like the player where it's a wizard and they just use fireball, and they don't-- And it's not like a sorcerer where you know they could do careful spell or anything.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: It's just a fucking wizard casting fireball in a room that is the same size as the fireball.
Amanda: Well, I would argue if there are trees touching the ceiling. It's likely the trees absorb some of this damage.
Brandon: Some of the debris. Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. If we're down on floor level and there's 10 feet of tree above us, no— not all of it. But I think we're going to be cushioned from some of the blow.
Eric: Yeah—
Julia: Oh, boy.
Eric: Give me everyone’s numbers again.
Julia: Jesus Christ.
Amanda: 3 for Julia, 10 for Brandon, 13 for me.
Julia: I'm gonna die. I'm gonna fucking go down. Did you hear how many dice he was rolling?
Eric: Here we go. [dice roll] [giggles] Alright.
Amanda: The glove is on. Instead of the gloves come off, it's the glove is on.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright. Umbi and Cammie please take 10 points of bludgeoning damage.
Julia: Alright, could be worse.
Eric: Troy you take 5. Cammie and Umbi, you are also pinned down under rubble.
Brandon: I'm knocked out.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: You are also pinned down under rubble. So Umbi, explosion– giggle– immediate crunch.
Amanda: Yup. Yeah, do the pine trees take any damage, and does that change the forest that's in the room?
Brandon: Oh, okay. That's what you were saying, Amanda.
Eric: Troy here's what happens. How do you get out of the way of the fa— of the ceiling collapsing on top of you?
Amanda: Well, Eric, I think I hug the trunk of this pine tree that's been slashing me and searching me, and the debris rains around me in a cone as the branches shelter me.
Brandon: I also think that if we're all getting hit, I think Tessie needs to get hit and so does—
Eric: Oh, I rolled for everybody else, Brandon.
Brandon: Okay, okay.
Eric: You don't have to get— I was driving 65 miles—
Amanda: We’ll take care of it.
Eric: —per hour, copper. Alright, Troy you hug the side of the tree.
Amanda: I do.
Eric: Is the whole entire, all of the breaks and the debris and the people you hear, oh my leg! Just from goons falling from the ceiling.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I just have to point out that Brandon was like no no, I need to go first.
Eric: It's a good point, good point.
Brandon: I didn't think-- I thought I was just blowing a hole in the ceiling so we could teleport up there.
Eric: Alright, so Bradon goes first, and here's what happens is that. And then Troy, it's just the ceiling comes down—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And the pine tree that you're holding on to flickers and then goes away. And you see all of the pine trees go away. Everything is covered in dust and debris, and everyone is dazed and crunched under the bricks. Cammie, Umbi, Piney, Tessie, and Razz are all stuck underneath giant piles of debris from the ceiling collapsing on top of them.
Julia (as Cammie): Help? Help!
Brandon: I mean look Julia, it did work.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy is gonna run toward-- is it dust or is it like full piles of rubble? Like can I see who is where?
Eric: Yeah, you can see who is where, for sure.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, help? Troy, help?
Amanda (as Troy): Yes, yeah.
Eric (as Goon): My leeeeg! What happened?!
Amanda: Troy's gonna get up. As a free action, he's going to go over to Piney. And Eric, can I see anything shiny in this— in this dusty rubble?
Eric: What are you looking for?
Amanda: The Amber.
Julia: The Amber we gave him? Fuck that dude.
Eric: The Amber? You go over to Piney?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Fuck that dude.
Eric (as Tessie): What did you— what did you do? What—
Eric: You see the throne has collapsed kind of underneath Tessie, and the whole—her whole spider head body is splayed out with the legs going in all directions, but also her humanoid body as well. As she's reaching-- her spider legs are reaching out to Piney trying to get him, but they're still a little bit too far away.
Eric (as Tessie): What did you do?
Amanda (as Troy): You weren't the only one born in a storm.
Julia: Damn!
Brandon: Damn!
Amanda (as Troy): We're leaving now. Give me my Amber back.
Amanda: And he holds out a hand toward Piney.
Eric (as Tessie): Just—alright, well– [coughs] just hold on.
Amand (as Troy): Hold jack shit. My friend is down over there.
Eric (as Tessie): So as my— and so is mine over here. Please, just move the rubble off of Piney. They’re-- They mean so much to me, please.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, so does my grandpa.
Amanda: And Troy's gonna start shoveling rubble off of Umbi and Cammie.
Eric (as Tessie): Please.
Julia: Can I take an action while under rubble?
Eric: Yeah, you can take an action under rubble.
Julia: Great. I'm gonna cast Action on Troy so that he gets an additional action this turn.
Amanda: Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Eric: Sure, sure.
Amanda: And so Troy you just see like two hands, like legs stretched wide, like shoveling rubble off of both Umbi and Cammie.
Eric (as Tessie): Please. I’ll owe you a debt. Piney means so much to me. They're my companion, please.
Amanda (as Troy): After my friends are safe, then we'll think about it.
Eric (as Tessie): No, I’ll owe you a debt. I'll get out from under this sooner than— faster than when you can get them out, and then we'll have a real problem.
Amanda: I'm just gonna keep uncovering Umbi.
Amanda (as Troy): No way.
Brandon: Yeah, I'm down but player Brandon says Tessie the Storm is also Tessie the Liar.
Amanda: Mmmm.
Julia: Has she lied about anything yet?
Brandon: She's a pirate, she lies, Julia.
Julia: Yeah, but still having a pirate like Captain indebted to you is a good thing.
Amanda: I would like to make that work, but first, I'm going to make sure that I get Umbi up.
Julia: Cool. And I can heal Umbi once we’re— once we're good.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Tessie is trying to use her spider body to get out from underneath the rubble, and she's moving and she's having a—she's having a tough time getting out of there.
Amanda: Can—
Eric (as Tessie): I suggest you, if you're not going to take my charity and you're going to walk out with—and you're going to walk out with—with something that belongs to me and doom all of Verda Stello, you better leave right now before— before somebody catches you. And that's—that someone's going to be me.
Julia: Mmm. I want to help. I can't do anything, I want to help.
Amanda: I mean, are we still like an initiative or—
Eric: No, no, no, no.
Amanda: Yeah, I've been like shoveling frantically this whole time. So if— if Cammie is free—
Eric: Yeah, you can get– yeah, yeah—
Amanda: —if she wants to do that while I work on Umbi.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Let's—let's do it.
Eric: Yeah, you can get Cammie free, that’s fine.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Great. Cammie is going to Nerf football Nonny.
Eric: I can—someone whistle for me.
Julia: [whistle] No, it's bad. Terrible.
Eric: Tweet, tweet.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Is there any part of Piney that is at least like available, like—
Amanda: Poking out?
Julia: Sticking out?
Eric: Yeah, I'll give you a hand.
Julia: Great. Nonny's little tentacle is going to touch Piney and is going to cast a first-level Cure Wounds.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, that's fine. Do it on the enemy first.
Eric: No, I—I think you're knocked out Brandon—
Amanda: We're working on you, we're working on you.
Eric: I can't—I can't hear you. I can't hear you.
Julia: Listen, that's why I threw Nonny. I can also come and do the same Cure Wounds, and that's the last of my first-level spells but yeah. So I'm going to cast one on Piney and one on Umbi, once he is a little bit more unburied.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And I get to use my first background.
Eric: Ooh.
Amanda: Oohh, what's that?
Julia: My background is Healer of the Earth. Anytime using a healing spell, scale up by one size dice. So for instance, one D4 to one D6. But in the case of Cure Wounds, it goes from a one D8 to a one D10 plus my spell-casting modifier.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: That's cool, I like that feature a lot.
Julia: Yeah. Alright, I'm gonna throw that down. Hold on one sec.
Amanda: Hell yeah. This is very cool.
Julia: [dice roll] Ooh, okay, that's good for Umbi, and that's fine for Piney.
Amanda: That's all we need.
Julia: So, Piney is going to get 4 HP and Umbi is going to get 11 HP back.
Brandon: Does that just stabilize me at zero?
Julia: No, it brings you up to 11 HP.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Yeah, you're still pinned underneath the—the bricks though.
Amanda: I mean yes, is he almost free? Because I’ve been focusing on him.
Eric: Yay. I think the we're—we're getting there for sure.
Amanda: Alright. Yeah.
Eric: I want to do— I want to do this thing. So Nonny. You nerf football Nonny over there. Four points of healing to Piney. What is this look—what is cu—Cure Wounds look like from you?
Julia: Cure Wounds, I think kind of looks like the idea of it almost like flows out like tea, with a sort of gold sparkle within it and just seeps into the wounds of the person who is being healed. And they—they close up to a certain extent depending on how much the healing does.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Wonderful. Jesus, I was rolling like dogshit. Both Piney and Tessie the Storm are still caught underneath the rubble, but Piney—Piney's hand lying slack there, gets a little bit of movement in their— in their piney fingers.
Brandon: In their needles?
Eric: In the—yeah, piney the— in the—in the needles for sure.
Amanda (as Troy): See, we understand the value of friendship.
Amanda: And Troy is going to fire his crossbow to like right above where Tessie's head is, and wrap the end of the rope that fires out of it onto Piney's wrist, so they're lashed together.
Eric: [laughs] Okay. Tessie reaches out one spider hand with like little— little like little fingers on the end of it and grabs one of Nonny's tentacles. And like Tessie can't like lift her head up, or her spider body head to look at you, so she could only look at Nonny, just barreling Nonny's two octopus eyes. And I feel like you could feel it inside of you, Cammie.
Eric (as Tessie): [coughs] If you refuse to give my glasses back to me, the least you can do… is get to the Salmon and reset everything. That's what the Planter wants. You don't water plants that you want to thrive. Do it. I know you can, I know you will. I will continue to do everything in my power to get there, but if you do it ahead of me, if you take something of mine, then the least you could do is try to upend the table for me.
Julia (as Cammie): The table needs upending.
Julia: And Nonny's going to come back, is going to slorp her tentacles out of Tessie's reach, and is going to snag the yellowing newspaper on the way back to join Cammie.
Eric: Yeah, you can take the newspaper as well.
Julia: Sweet.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Tessie): Piney, are you alright?
Eric (as Piney): [cough] There's a bri— there's a brick immediately inside me. What?
Amanda (as Troy): Alright, bud.
Amanda: And seeing that— that Umbi's at least awake, Troy we'll uh— we'll clear some stuff off of Piney. And I—I would love Eric to investigate for the Amber if it's still in Piney's uh—
Eric: Yeah, sure. Make a stealth roll for me.
Julia: Thanks, Amanda. I worked hard for that Amber.
Amanda: 19 + 2 for 21.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, you reach—you reach in there and you pop the Amber. The rubble has created a full—when you move some stuff off the rubble—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —has created a full circle inside of Piney, a full hole and that's where the Amber's kind of sitting there.
Amanda: Troy's gonna palm that and do one of those bro things, where like he grasps one of Piney’s forearms to like sit him up a little bit so he can start clearing off the rubble himself.
Julia: Nice.
Eric (as Tessie): You better lea-- [coughs]. You better leave.
Julia (as Cammie): Sounds good.
Eric (as Tessie): The Book Depo— the Book Depository. The Book Depository Armada is gonna follow you out.
Julia (as Cammie): In like a don't come back here or in attack as way?
Amanda (as Troy): We saved your buddy's life, don't forget that.
Eric (as Tessie): And that's why you're leaving here with one—and that's why you're leaving here with something that's so important to me.
Julia (as Cammie): Sounds good.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright.
Amanda: And Troy's gonna help Umbi up.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks.
Eric: Do I ge— a bunch of—a bunch of the goons are like—
Eric (as Goons): Do I get worker—do I get workers comp for falling through the ceiling? My leg!
Eric: Hell yeah. What do you do?
Julia: Cammie retrieves Nonny and is like—
Julia (as Cammie): Alright, well. Mission successful.
Amanda (as Troy): We'll never see you again.
Amanda: And we’re just gonna yeah, walk out the door.
Julia (as Cammie): I liked your books. Goodbye.
Eric (as Razz): Umbi, Umbi.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric (as Razz): Help me, I'm stuck on this rubble, please.
Julia: Oh yeah, I forgot about Qi.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Grandpa, we gotta go.
Eric (as Razz): Umbi, you have a debt to me. Please.
Julia: Oh, yeah you do have a debt to her.
Brandon: I do. Can I walk over to— sorry, can I hobble over to Qi, and hand her a teleportation bomb?
Eric (as Razz): I don't know how to activate this, I'm too old.
Brandon (as Umbi): You just throw it. You just throw it.
Eric (as Razz): And then what?
Brandon (as Umbi): I can’t throw it for you though.
Eric (as Razz): And then I have to hit power, and then guide?
Brandon (as Umbi): No, you just throw— there's no— it's not electric, just throw the goddamn circle.
Eric (as Razz): Where are the bu--
Julia (as Razz): Do I have to be on Channel 3?
Eric (as Razz): How do I get back to the television?
Brandon (as Umbi): Just roll it. Do it now!
Eric (as Razz): Alright. Okay. Eh!
Eric: It bounces a few feet away. And then a big portal opens up underneath the rubble and all the rubble goes through the portal and up through another one while maintaining gravity. So like everything, both Razz and all the—the rubble like pops up and then slams back to the ground.
Brandon: Yes, I love that. Okay, I thought you meant she just like went from one space under the rubble to another space under the rubble.
Eric: No, like all the rubble like disperses, but it all falls around her and she like lands on her feet.
Brandon: Cool. Cool, I love that.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, then she lands on her feet. Like—
Eric (as Razz): I'll never forget this. And remember, if you forego a debt with an Overstalk promise, the assassin death squad will get you.
Julia: What?
Brandon: Come on, that's nice and all but that doesn't exist. Come on, let’s go.
Eric (as Razz): You know— I know you're just saying it for the children, but you know it exists.
Julia: Can I do an insight check on that?
Brandon (as Umbi): Razz, you're concussed. Let's go.
Julia: We gotta really quickly do an insight check on that.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, sure.
Julia: Oh, bad. I think it's 7.
Eric: Yeah, that's true. There's weird stuff coming out of Overstalk. You can only imagine like someone with like a sniper rifle could shoot—could shoot someone down from a thousand feet away while—while wrapped up in wonderful silks.
Julia (as Cammie): Woah.
Eric: It's like a real thing where there's like, there are like the pieces of a sniper rifle and a really big Bible, and they assemble all of it. That's the vibe—that's like the vibe we're going for with an Overstalk assassin.
Brandon: Love it.
Amanda: It's amazing.
Amanda (as Troy): So nobody owes anybody any debts. And now we all know that the things what make up a barrel is called a stave, okay?
Eric (as Tessie): I'm going to the—you better get out [coughs]. I'm gonna—the Armada is gonna take you down as you leave here. Go now, I give you a head start.
Brandon: Let's leave, let's go.
Amanda: I'm out of here, yes. As quick as we can. I'll support Umbi as we go.
Julia (as Cammie): Get rid of your bracelets everyone.
[Chase music starts playing]
Amanda: Yeah, Troy is back up one those trees.
Julia: Great.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. I like it. Maybe your— as you're running out of the Book Depository—
[Music abruptly stops]
Brandon: Um, pause real fast, Eric.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And Julia, Amanda, I guess you can veto me if you'd like to.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Brandon: I want to throw another bomb in this building, just make it all collapse?
Julia: No.
Amanda: No, I—
Julia: We just spend time and energy getting these people to be like, you're not bad.
Brandon: And they're not—they just said they're going to try to kill us still.
Julia: Well—
Amanda: We did steal a very important thing and I think she is letting us go. So I would prefer—
Julia: I think it's fair.
Amanda: —I would prefer to maintain our lead because we stole an important pair of glasses and I don't want her Armada to like kill our ship which has no XP in its fighting.
Brandon: Okay. I thought Julia wanted me to be a pirate, but I guess we're gonna be coward pirates.
Julia: I do want you to be a pirate, but maybe we could blow up the ships that come and attack us, rather than the people we just made a solid deal with.
Brandon: I don't know. I don't trust Eric with the DM glove on, but I obviously will respect my colleagues here and not blow up the building.
Julia: Cool, that seems fair.
Amanda: That's what I would like if I have a—a vote.
Julia: I would like to vote—
Brandon: You do.
Julia: —no blow up a building, please.
Eric: Alright, what do you all do?
Julia (as Cammie): Hot exit time, y'all, let's go.
Brandon: Yeah we hustle towards the boat.
Amanda: [hums]
Julia: [hums] [sings] A good trip to the theme park.
[Yakety Sax starts playing]
Brandon: You hear Yakety Sax in the background
Eric: I love it from outside. Maybe there's like a camera setup that just like the night— it's the night sky, with like the lights inside of the Book Depository building, and then you hear like, like you see it from a few minutes ago and you just hear [far away explosion noises, people screaming] and then the three of you running out—
Julia: Scooby-Doo music.
Amanda: Yes, exactly.
Julia: As we run away.
Eric: Out from underneath an arch that's like double sided so when you come in this says, Welcome to Book Depository Island, and the other side it says— as you're running it says, Have a Book-tastic Day, as all of you throw your bracelets into a garbage can.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah, we'll run down the same entryway that we came in. And hopefully, the Sea Whip is where we left her.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright, Harold. Let's go.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, you're back so soon. I was—Harold and I got really deep in a 100 card war game.
Julia (as Cammie): Wow. We need to leave.
Brandon (as Umbi): Did you tell Harold to prep and let's go?
Eric (as Harold): I'm always ready. You don't have to—you don't have to stop getting ready if you always stay ready.
Julia (as Cammie): That is fair. We saw that carved into a table in a tavern once.
Amanda (as Troy): Hottest exit of all, Harold. Let's go.
Eric (as Harold): Alright. Everyone, get to your stations.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy real quick, before we leave, make sure that Havana has got the thing that we just almost died for.
Amanda (as Troy): Ah yes.
Julia (as Cammie): Before we leave.
Amanda: And Troy will pull Tropicana into a hug. And in the— in the hug—
Eric (as Havana): I love you so much, my man.
Amanda (as Troy): I love you. I love Havana like a brother.
Amanda: And then he's gonna slip his hand into Havana's pocket and grab the glasses.
Eric: Yeah, they're still there. They're good.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Are you going to try to take them back?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, yeah, sure. Sleight of Hand. A lot of sleight of hand from Troy.
Amanda: Yeah, that's 17 + 2, 19.
Eric: That's good.
Julia: Hell yeah, dawg.
Eric: Yeah. you pop ‘em out. He never even knew—Havana just thinks you two are really good brothers.
Amanda: Great.
Julia: As he should.
Brandon: I mean, two things can be true, Eric.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy will uh— will put those in his own coat pocket and head on up to the wheel.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright, all of you get to your stations. What you—tell me about your stations, folks.
Julia: I think this time Cammie is on the aft of the ship and is going to use her usual shape water effect to push the ship a little bit faster out of the island.
Eric: I love Cammie as navigator here, it's like I can look at the stars, and also I make the ship go faster.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: That's great.
Eric: I love that.
Brandon: Uh, Umbi's obviously on the battlements on the cannons.
Brandon: Yeah. And Troy is steering.
Eric: In my head and I know it's not true. But I really like to imagine it's like Luke in the fucking Millennium Falcon.
Julia: I like that.
Eric: Like you're si—you're sitting down and there's like three cannons and you can just swivel around.
Brandon: I mean, that'd be cool as hell, yeah.
Eric: That’d be good, yeah.
Amanda: Very well.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: We said you have a little grandpa chair, right?
Eric: Yeah, there are two different chairs I think on either side of the ship because he can't turn all the way around. But I like the idea that you could do that.
Amanda: Me too.
Julia: I like it. I'm into it.
Eric: Hell yeah. Troy, you're doing a K turn out of the VIP—VIP Parking lot?
Amanda: Yes, we're speeding as speedily as we can speed.
Eric: Yeah. Havana holds on to the side for dear life while noticeably turning green which is weird for a blood orange. As Harold pulls all the levers and ropes, and unfurls the sail, and gets the Sea Whip chugging along out to sea. Now which way are y'all heading?
Julia (as Cammie): I don't think we should go back to the Hold immediately.
Amanda: I think our normal protocol in case we're ever tracked would be to go generally in the right direction, but you know 10 or 15 degrees off at least to begin. Like you know how when you take off for an airport plane goes kind of like the wrong way and then make turn and goes the right way? So I think we will go generally in the direction of the Hold, but in a path that would take us far past that if we went like if we follow that exact trajectory.
Eric: Yeah for sure. I didn't know if you were wanting to go to Lake Encounter but that's fine. If y'all want just want to fucking haul ass.
Amanda: I think we should get the fuck out of here.
Julia: Yeah, I think at this point I don't want to get murdered.
Brandon: I mean it's not smart to. I want to, as a player, but were—I don't want to die.
Julia: We can always return one of these days.
Brandon: That's true.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright, as the Sea Whip picks up speed as you head in the general direction towards the Hold, you break through the tide around Book Depository Island. No one is waving back to you this time. And you get out into open water. And that's when you see behind you, pulling out from behind the Book Depository are three ships with spider silk sails coming up fast.
[theme]
Transcriptionist: KA
Editor: KM