My mother told me / Some evenin’ I would say / “Nothing’s happened to me” / but that day is not today.
Dive into the classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, the Skill Tree, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
Housekeeping
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Sponsors
- The Oracles of Aughra from Sarsen Games, a Kickstarter running through Weds, May 31, 2023!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plants and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a Salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: So Tessie knows the crew took the glasses from the secret spot in the bar, and she's not happy about it. After giving them time to confess, which they didn't take at all, Tessie sent out her most powerful weapon to deal with it, Piney, who has magical powers. Piney conjures a forest in the middle of the room, separating the crew. And the best course of action is, Umbi blowing up the ceilings so that the building you half collapses and everything falls down in everyone. Except of course, for Troy Riptide. Troy pulls Cammie out of the rubble and grabs back the amber that they gave Piney, as well as an old newspaper that has a story about what was really on the stones that got revealed when the Cascade dried up. As a favor to crushed Tessie, Cammie also heals Piney, in exchange for a few moments for the crew to escape onto the Sea Whip before Tessie tries to hunt them down. Now it's a race against time and enemy ships to escape Book Depository Island. Let's get the party started
Brandon (as Umbi): [sings] 99 bottles of sap on the wall, 99 bottles of sap. Take one down, getting chased, we're all gonna die on the wall right now.
Eric: Can you do that like the Doppler Effect, because the camera I think is set up like the horizon of the sea, and then the Sea Whip is just charging forward with Cammie's like tea steam behind it, and is like, naaahuh! As the Sea Whip is charging forward, Harold has all of the sails out as big as they can go, billowing like wind caught underneath the skirts of some very fancy ladies.
Brandon: I just realized Harold— the sails for Harold are his like loose blousy top thing, you know—
Eric: He loves it—
Julia: And they're very sexy, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah—
Eric: He loves the sexy blouse and it's great.
Brandon: —it's good.
Amanda: Show a little ankle if you're lucky.
Eric: Yeah. And following in your wake three of Tessie's Spider Brigantines are charging behind you. Everyone on the Sea Whip are at their stations. Troy at the front, Umbi in his Millennium Falcon style, going from one side to the other bomber chair, and Cammie in the back, giving a boost to the Sea Whip and looking up at the stars for navigation. Harold billowing in the wind, pulling and yanking on ropes and pulleys. And Havana trying not to vomit on the side of the boat.
Brandon: Classic Havana.
Eric: Classic Havana.
Julia (as Cammie): Get it over the side.
Eric (as Havana): [retches]
Julia (as Cammie): You have to clean it up if you get it on the deck.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's the rule.
Eric (as Havana): [retches] If I vomit, is it gonna come out in like five different layers?
Julia (as Cammie): Maybe!
Amanda (as Troy): Not gonna lie to you bud, probably.
Eric (as Havana): Like the drinks I had. None of you got my joke. [retches]
Brandon: I thought he was seasick not—now he's seasick and drunk, that's just terrible.
Amanda: He’s hungover and on the sea.
Julia: The worst combo.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): [retches]
Eric: Folks, I need all of you to open up your secret envelopes.
Julia: Yay!
Brandon: Yay!
Amanda: Yes, yes yes. Eric, do you want to set up for listeners what we're doing here?
Eric: Why don't you set up for the listeners what—what these are?
Amanda: Oh my god, Eric's is in his pocket. Wow, my adrenaline is spiking so much.
Julia: Okay. Are we—I want to like make sure everyone's ready.
Amanda: Do it.
Eric: Before we— before we open, before—
Julia: Wait—
Eric: —we open it. Amanda, tell people what this is.
Amanda: So Eric sent to Julia and Brandon in the mail and placed on top of my keyboard very ominously some brown envelopes that say ‘do not open until prompted’. We have been carrying them into the booth for the last several weeks. Julia and Brandon, you have yours ready?
Julia: I have mine ready, my tape is undone.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Okay. 1, 2, 3, open them.
[paper scrunches, envelope opening]
Julia: Wait. Hold on, it's stuck in there. What is this?
Brandon: I'm gonna get some good foley.
Julia: Oh, boy—
Amanda: I gotta a post-it that says wowee—
Julia: —oh, no.
Amanda: —good start.
Brandon: Now, I just want to say before we get into the real meat of hair, mine didn't— didn't seal completely, the envelope didn't. So Eric wrote ‘I can't close it, but—but do not open. I'm serious, wait.’ And then when I took it out, it's a cat saying that.
[Brandon and Amanda laughs]
Julia: That's very funny.
Brandon: It was a joy to have a cat with a word bomb that says, “I'm serious”.
Eric: Brandon's was the first one I packed and it didn't fit, so I had to give him an extra thing that if it popped open the cat would have told him, ‘I'm serious, don't open this’.
Amanda: Oh my god these are three beautiful cards that say Rock Paper Scissors with like, a rock and then a liquidy or metally, and then a paper hand in front of them.
Julia: Yep, yep, I have the same thing.
Brandon: Me too.
Eric: Yeah, everyone has the same ones.
Julia: Oh, okay.
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: The back is like a lovely kind of arched blueprint and there are some very pretty filigrees in the corners.
Julia: I like that you were probably like these bitches with their delays, I don't want them to fake off-screen what the Rock Paper Scissors would be, so—
Eric: I felt that but in a nicer way, Julia. I said it nicer when I thought it.
Julia: These untrustworthy bitches. I don't trust them for a second.
Eric: More like if I wanted to do some game mechanics, I wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page and no one had to deal with delay.
Amanda: Damn Eric, this is next level.
Brandon: Is this Three Card Monte?
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: It's Rock Paper Scissors, Brandon. It is a very common game in Earth, which you may not be totally familiar with, but there are some similarities to One Card Monte.
Julia: Sniped!
Brandon: Oh, okay, cool. Thank you, Amanda.
Eric: One card Manny.
Brandon: Manny, Manny, thank you. Thank you, Manny.
Eric: I am going to send you all some rules for some very interesting and new ship combat mechanics that I came up with.
Brandon: Oh, boy.
Julia: I thought you were about to be like, I'm gonna send you the rules to Rock Paper Scissors.
Brandon: Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Amanda: Like why would he do that?
Julia: Eric, I don't think we need it. I think we—
Eric: Yeah, I don't think so.
Julia: —I think we—you could just explain it to us if you're worried that we don't know it.
Amanda: Eric, you've sent us a new set of rules that I'm sure will be at jointhepartypod.com/verda-stello.
Eric: Of course.
Amanda: All about ship combat. Can you walk us through it?
Eric: Absolutely. Okay, so here's how this works. Basically, what happens here is that in order to resolve combat between the Sea Whip, and any sort of enemy combatants, we're going to use Rock Paper Scissors to do so. So here's how the process goes. First, I'm going to lay down my Rock Paper Scissors. So that, no matter what you do, I can't change what you're going to do going forward. Then there are some special PC abilities that each of you have, and everyone on the crew has, that you can use to kind of mix it up and do interesting stuff. We'll get to that in a moment. After you decide if you want to use your PC abilities, you decide if you're going to continue to man your station and stay doing the things that you all do as your responsibilities on the ship, which would be steering, gunsmanship, and navigation for each of your PCs collectively. You can decide to go do something else. If something's happening on the ship, if you think that it will work, you can go do that. However, the ship will work worse and you'll be exposing yourself a little bit and depending on what the other ships do, or what you're trying to do.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: After that, all three of you decide what as a collective the ship is going to do. Are you going to attack? Are you going to attack with range? Are you going to like try to hit him with your doohickey? You know the little knife you have underneath your ship.
Julia: Our ramming knife? Sure.
Eric: Yeah, your big knife. Are you going to do evasive maneuvers? Are you going to try to speed up? Also, you'll get a pretty good sense of the land. So you can decide if you want to like try to pull over somewhere or make a navigational decision, whatever. Once you all do that, we're going to do Rock Paper Scissors. One of you is going to do Rock Paper Scissors, and then we're going to reveal each of our cards. If you win, you get to do the thing you want to do. If you lose, the enemy ship gets to do what they want to do. If you tie, then it's going to be a mixed success. Good thing that we all learn how to do Power By The Apocalypse games earlier—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —where you get to do the thing, but I'm going to choose one consequence that I have written here. You draw immediate unwelcome attention, the ship takes one harm, your opponent quickly recovers, or some other problematic side effect. If there are any special abilities that you use, special PC abilities or NPC abilities, they will be resolved before—this is like kind of the end phase, and then we do it all again. And the different one of you is going to throw Rock Paper Scissors for the next thing.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: So the Twitter account that calculates Brandon's dice rolls just make a whole new model for Rock Paper Scissors, I think.
Eric: Ma—make sure to pull the Rock Paper Scissors as well. There's some stuff for you to just think about as you're doing this, the Sea Whip has three points of HP kind of in a Monster of the Week style. You can take damage if you get attacked, or you can see happens here on the mixed success stuff. Those remain, you have to go get those fixed, but you can still steer— you can still use the boat, even if you have all three but you're in dire danger. You're—you're kinda— it's gonna get messy afterwards. Remember, we're still playing a narrative game, so the enemies have moves too, not just—you doing smart narrative choices might give you advantage or really put you in a good situation, or make the enemy stuff even if you lose, it won't be so bad. And you can continue to upgrade all of the special moves, depending on things that you get back at the Hold.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: There you go.
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Tell us about these special abilities. Are these things that we already have on our character sheet or specific stuff to combat?
Eric: No, this is specific to ship combat here.
Amanda: Ooohh.
Eric: Four of your folks on the ship have special abilities. Havana does not—
Brandon: Well—
Julia: We'll work on that.
Brandon: There's question marks.
Eric: He does not have one right now.
Julia: We haven't leveled him up enough yet.
Eric: Bang bang exactly, Julia. So each of you can decide to do this, and each of you will be able to decide when to use your own PC and you can do one. Harold is actually automatic. If I win on a rock, then Harold can block it. But if then Harold will be kind of like knocked out and dazed going forward and you won't take any damage even if the enemy wins.
Amanda: I love that it's specific to your actual hand of cards here.
Eric: Yes. So here's the one, Troy, you're sharpshooter, you can make a long-range attack, which is your— because it's very far away.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It's like the end of your longest range. So you do it with disadvantage.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: However, I'll tell you the AC. If you hit I can't play scissors that turn. And if I did play scissors, I will have to change it.
Amanda: Hey.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Umbi, you can double down. Brandon, whenever you want it, you can call for a double down and you hi—you have to play paper. If you win, you get an extra boost, in that you impress, surprise, or frighten the opposition. Or you might create an opportunity for more if you have allies, or for yourself next turn.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Of course remember, I've already played my card. So it doesn't really matter. You—you have to play paper but you—I can't change what I've done.
Brandon: Right, right, right.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Got it. But if my thing has worked and Eric can play scissors, then at worst it will tie.
Eric: Very true, that's very true.
Amanda: I have mastered the children's game!
Eric: There's also—yes, you can also play special abilities at any time and you can stack them. You get one per combat. This also helps for Cammie, who has Tasseography as her ability. Julia just roll a D20. If you got a 10 or above, I'm going to tell you the card I have, but if I—you get a 19 or higher, I will tell you the truth of what card I have.
Julia: Oh, so you're probably going to lie to me, is what's going on. Or maybe—
Amanda: Or maybe he won't and we have to decide!
Eric: Or maybe I won't?
Julia: Reverse psychology, who could say?
Eric: Everyone's gonna be able to look at me while I tell you what—what card I have.
Julia: Mmmm.
Amanda: Hey, Eric, I'm glad that Wizard of the Coast never hired you to redesign their game because you get to do it for us.
Eric: Thank you, I appreciate that.
Julia: So just to clarify real quick, each of our special abilities we can use once per combat, we can't use it once per round?
Eric: Once per combat, correct?
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: But you can use them, you can stack them if you'd like.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You can do them on the same round.
Amanda: And Harold is automatic, but when it happens then he's dazed for the next round?
Eric: He's dazed for the rest of combat—
Amanda: For the rest of combat.
Julia: Oh, shit.
Eric: —like it's not that he's—he's not like, like he can still do his job, but he can't help you because he probably has like a cannonball in his chest.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: In his algae, separated algae chest. Also if like if they do a move on him which is supercharged, Harold will be like exploded. And although the ship won't be hurt, Harold will be messed up.
Julia: Eric, I have a quick question re: spells in combat.
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Would you consider a cannon a firearm?
Brandon: I don't think—not to not help my colleague but I think a firearm is a— is—can be at your side, right?
Eric: I would say a firearm’s a gun, but if you want to show me the thing you're talking about, we might help with context. To point, I am honoring Umbi's Mad Bomber, in that if you decide to shoot with cannonballs, that does double damage to the other ships.
Brandon: Oh, thank you.
Eric: Yes, I have that written— I have the written down.
Julia: Alright, so I have two things that this kind of applies to. One would be a second-level spell that I have called Jam Weapon.
Eric: Oh, yes. Here's—yes, actually I know the answer to what you're— what you're asking.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: You—that would be you leaving your post, so you can do it. The third step of manning your station or doing something else.
Julia: Mmm.
Eric: You're not navigating anymore because you're doing a spell. And I would honor that spell, but then again, you would be not navigating anymore and that would —and also the ship would slow down.
Julia: Okay. Does it matter to what you just said that it is a reaction spell and not an action spell?
Eric: I would have to say that you would have to ready the action. A reaction works in initiative because theoretically, everyone's fighting.
Julia: Right.
Eric: And I think that to honor that this is not initiative, you would have to be running defenses instead of doing navigation, which I think is like, what Cammie would be doing.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Alright. The on—the only other one that I wanted to check was I have a hex called Peacebound, which locks weapons to their owners.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: But it's also 30 feet away, so that's not going to be useful unless we are very close to the targets.
Eric: Correct, correct.
Julia: So, okay, it's cool.
Eric: So Cammie, what you can do— is what you want to do is be defensive, that would be like your choice, but you wouldn't be navigating anymore.
Julia: Okay. I just wanted to see what my options were as opposed to–
Eric: No, that's fine. That's why I wanted to double-check in previous episodes about what everyone's job was on the ship.
Julia: Mmm.
Brandon: So we're all saying what we want to do, whether it's manning our stations or using a different action. And then collectively announced narrate what we want the collective crew to do. So do we need to sign a one action or a single actions?
Eric: Correct, you decide on one action. You as a character can decide if you want to continue to do your ship thing or do something else. Of course, if you're not doing your ship thing you're not— like, it takes a whole crew to run a ship is basically what I'm getting at. And you need to make a decision on behalf of the Sea Whip of what narratively you're doing as a ship, and everyone on board is then, therefore, doing it, because everyone, one metaphorically is a crew, but two, you're all on the ship. You know how like, you got to do an initiative, you do an action and that's your choice, and the action you do is like, interact with an item, cast a spell, dodge, hide, right?
Brandon: Mmmm.
Eric: Your action is either man your station, which is a very special action you only do in ship combat, or something else. But if everyone is not at their station, the ship's ability to do stuff is not at 100%.
Brandon: Decreased, right.
Eric: Yeah, I want you to imagine that like while you're doing your thing, the enemy ship is also doing stuff. But we're using rock paper scissors to resolve who gets to do the thing they want to do.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: Because it's like, I'm not going to be— if you guys shoot me with a cannon, I can't make evasive maneuvers, is ultimately what I'm talking about.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool, that makes sense. Thank you.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: I have one more logistical question that does not have to do with your very good mechanics here, but rather with ships in general.
Eric: Absolutely.
Julia: What are the sizes of the ships comparable to the Sea Whip that are chasing after us?
Eric: Um, I'd say a little bit smaller.
Julia: Okay. Interesting.
Eric: Yes. Also, because like, my understanding is that Tessie-- like you guys sleep on the Sea Whip, and Tessie doesn't have to have pirates sleep on these ships because she has a base that she works out of.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: And also like, this is also collective. You don't have to worry about targeting individual ships.
Brandon: Oh, great.
Julia: Okay, gotcha.
Eric: It is—it is like a video game thing that comes up that's like Sea Whip versus Spider Brigantines. So you don't have to worry about hitting specific stuff. That's why this is also very narrative, it's more like combat in PBTA games here.
Julia: Mmm, gotcha.
Eric: Is that it's flow here, decide what you want to do. Don't worry about like the possibilities are doing thing and only matters like narratively. Like, if you get stuck on a sandbar you're not gonna be able to turn around. But that's what I'm saying, smart narrative choices will give you power-ups or hamper enemies.
Julia: Hell yeah dude.
Eric: Okay?
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: I'm very excited.
Brandon: I love it. I'm very excited. This is fun.
Eric: Yeah, so we're gonna come back to this, anytime that we’re in a ship combat, well, we're going to do this, so hold on your cards.
Brandon: Where did you find these? Do you make them?
Eric: Yeah, I made them in Canva.
Brandon: Oh, they look so professional.
Julia: Yeah, they look super— I figured you'd like got them from Etsy or something.
Brandon: I thought you bought them. Yeah.
Eric: No, no, I made these, dawg. I—I—
Julia: It's cool as fuck.
Eric: These are small postcards from Canva—
Brandon: Oh, cool.
Eric: —I have them all shi— three different things shipped to the office and then I collated them and sent them out.
Julia: Damn.
Brandon: Amazing.
Eric: So I—and I made both sides.
Julia: Damn.
Amanda: That’s amazing.
Brandon: That's awesome.
Eric: That I found the pattern and then I'm—I kind of used, I put some stuff together to make it look like a— like a card.
Julia: Hey, it's cool as fuck, man.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Thanks, dude.
Amanda: These are Join the Party colorway blue.
Eric: Yes, they are, yes, they are.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: But now it was totally—It was—it was totally worth it, I'm really happy about how this came out. Alright, folks you ready?
Brandon: Mmmm.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Hell yeah, dude. Alright, ship combat begins. The Sea Whip versus Spider Brigantines.
Julia: Wooo!
Brandon: How far away are we from the ships?
Eric: Great question. You are, I think—hey, canonically I don't know how fucking long length distances are. So you are being chased currently by Tessie's forces. So you have a decent amount of space, but they are gaining. Because these ships are a little bit smaller. You might have figured out that maybe the pirate queen has settled on an island so that she doesn't have to live on a ship anymore, unlike you goofers. So these ships are fast and coming up quick. Just to tell you a little bit more about these ships, they're small, they have a few crew members on each one. Whenever you're fighting them, you fight them as a collective, it just so happens there's three of them. And remember all of the—all of the ships have Tessie's five eyes down, three eyes up, skull and bones flag flying and all—
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: —of the sails are made out of spider silk.
Brandon: Cool!
Julia: That's pretty dope.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Pretty good.
Brandon: They're strong as sails. Those sails ain't gonna rip.
Eric: No, they no— they are not. Alright folks, we're gonna go to the first thing, I'm going to pick my card.
Julia: Just doing a quick Google real quick.
Eric: Is spider silk flammable Julia, is that what it is?
Julia: Mmm, yes.
Eric: Yeah, there it is.
Julia: That is what I was looking for. Not resistant to fire. Good job guys.
Eric: There it is, there we go.
Julia: We did it.
Eric: I know you so well. Alright folks it is time for the PCs. If you want to use any special abilities you may or you can skip all this and immediately just go to your stations and we can talk about what you want to do.
Amanda: Alright fam, what do we think? Do we keep trying to outrace them or do we pull up for some combat?
Brandon: I think for the first bit we should just man our stations and see what they're capable of maybe?
Amanda: Yeah, I'm happy to man our stations.
Julia: Yes. What is— what is the decision we're going to make though, while manning our stations? Are we going to keep moving forward? Are we going to turn to do a shot? Do we have an aft cannon?
Eric: No you don't. You just have the—the one—the broadsides ones. You can get that later on. For those you don't know ships and have not seen—apparently are the Gen Z-ers watching Master and Commander right now. Umbi currently has cannons stationed on both sides of the ship on the starboard and on the port, but do not have ones pointing forward and backwards.
Brandon: No head, no butt cannons.
Eric: No head, no butt cannons.
Amanda: Arms only.
Julia: No aft, no bow chaser.
Brandon: Got it.
Eric: Aft, no chaser is what I order at a bar.
Julia: That’s great.
Eric: That's some nautical humor for all your salty dogs out there.
Amanda: I think because we have a lead, but one that is vanishing, we should look ahead of us and try to pick terrain to fight and pull over in, that is somewhat advantageous to us. So is there like a bright moon in front of us that we can make sure is behind us, so we cast a shadow and compromise their visibility?
Eric: That's a great point. Why don't all of you give me perception checks and I'll average all those together to tell you what the landscape looks like.
[dice roll]
Julia: Bad roll. You know what, I kind of jinxed myself because before we started recording, I said Brandon used his good roll and he was gonna roll a three, and then I rolled a three so—
Brandon: Ha! Ha!
Amanda: Well, I got a 7 minus 1 for a 6.
Brandon: And I rolled a 16 total, Julia!
Julia: Damn. I'll allow it.
Eric: Alright, well, that's an 8 average.
Amanda: Not great, not great.
Brandon: Not great, not great.
Julia: Mmm, mmm, no, not great.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I think I can also use a smoke bomb at some point and sort of obscure at least part of our boat?
Amanda: Fair.
Brandon: So maybe that would help later.
Eric: Yeah. As long Umbi does something with bombs, that can be like your ship’s collective action, because that makes sense as your job.
Amanda: Like you load it into the cannon and then fired over there.
Eric: Correct, yeah, correct.
Brandon: Oh, yeah I was gonna ask if I can load my shit into the cannons?
Eric: Yes. Oh, that's why you're mad bomber grocks, yeah.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: I assume that all—all cannon balls are Umbi approved.
Brandon: So does that mean if I shot a teleportation bomb out of a cannon, would it teleport the cannon?
Eric: Uh, no.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: No.
Julia: That would be insane.
Eric: If you do that, that's uh, Umbi's leaving the ship. No, no, that wouldn't work.
Brandon: I was just imagining I shot a cannon and then like above— shot it above the ship and the cannon lands like 50 feet above the ship and then smashes down on the ship you know?
Eric: Listen, you could do that for flavor and that would do one harm, but if you want to do that, that sounds funny.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: But mechanically that would not be different. No.
Brandon: Okay, okay, okay, cool.
Eric: Okay. And actually, that would do two harm, because you're—because you—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —because that's very destructive. So if you want to do that for flavor, 100% please do that.
Brandon: Okay, cool.
Eric: I also want to say—sorry, I didn't say this before. Remember, your intention does not have to be destroy other ships. It can be other things.
Brandon: Mmm.
Amanda: Mmm, mmm.
Eric: Okay?
Julia: Yeah, of course.
Eric: Just like all tabletop RPGs, you don't need to kill, you just need to get out of ship combat.
Brandon: Got it, got it.
Eric: Okay?
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: To respect the 8, I would say that it's dark, and the moon is not as bright as you hoped it would be. Is there a spiderweb over it? No, no, your eyes are just playing tricks on you.
Amanda: Ahhhhh.
Eric: If you do pull over towards the port's side of the ship, you do see a string of islands. So you're not just in open water, but you can't really see what it is, it's too dark.
Brandon (as Umbi): Goddamn moon’s never on our side!
Amanda (as Troy): You guys think we're stronger on land or on the sea?
Julia (as Cammie): As a boat?
Amanda (as Troy): I—I can find us safe harbor over there if we want to.
Julia (as Cammie): As a boat, typically at sea.
Amanda (as Troy): I mean, we're like a pretty—okay, it's pretty crappy boat, but like—okay, that's fine.
Julia (as Cammie): Boat can't do much on land, that's all I'm saying.
Amanda (as Troy): Sure you got it.
Julia (as Cammie): It's also much easier to hit, you know, a non-moving target as opposed to a moving target.
Brandon: Okay, so the move could be that we're try— that we could go behind the island and sort of obfuscate where we are, and then use that—
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: — to make an unexpected turn, so they don't know where we're going, you know? Get behind them or something.
Eric: Yeah, your move can definitely be head towards the string of islands.
Julia: Inchworm it.
Brandon: Inchworm it. [laughs] Well, what's a— what's a bug or something that like changes directions fast?
Eric: Snail it. Moth it. Bop it, twist it.
Amanda: Pull it.
Eric: Dananananana tss [Eric hums Bop-It music]. Yar, we're gonna get you!
Brandon (as Umbi): We could do the cockroach. You know, they go behind the thing, and then they scatter. It works.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm—I'm cool with that.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright. Yeah. I'm a little nervous because they're smaller than us and probably have better maneuverability, but what can you do at this point?
Eric: Damn, Cammie's so resigned to just dying.
Julia: I have to see how these other boats do before she could make a decision on what's going to be best.
Brandon: Well we're about to find out.
Eric: That's very true.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Alright, folks, who wants to do Rock Paper Scissors first?
Brandon: Amanda!
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Alright. I have my thing.
Amanda: Mine is chosen, mine is down.
Eric: Okay. Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot.
Amanda: Scissors.
Eric: Oh, I got rock. Let's go!
Amanda: Okay. But because—
Julia: Fuck.
Amanda: — Eric wins on rock, Harold can get in the mix and we go again.
Eric: No! What we were going— what the ships we're going to do is surround all of you. So you see, the three ships kind of speed up, and then spread out. One, trying to get directly behind you. Two, trying to flank you on either side of the ship. And Harold says—
Eric (as Harold): Mmm, that's not gonna happen. Troy, hard starboard!
Amanda (as Troy): You got it, bud.
Eric: As you pull over to the right, Harold separates himself into a li—another little Harold and throws himself on the other ship, latching directly onto the face of the captain of that ship like—
Eric (as Captain of another ship): Oh, it's my mouth! [coughs]. Get out, get out, get out!
Eric: And as that ship to your starboard side, your right, pulls over giving you an opportunity to restabilize and get out of there. Harold says—
Eric (as Harold): I can’t do [coughs] I can only do as much as I can. I'm missing a hand. I can only pull as many ropes as I can. You all figure it out.
Amanda (as Troy): Shhh. Good job, bud, good job.
Eric (as Harold): I deserve a lot of treats later. And you have to feed them directly into my mouth.
Amanda (as Troy): Any time.
Eric (as Harold): Any of them, any in the mouth.
Amanda (as Troy): Whatever you want.
Brandon: What is Harold like to eat?
Eric (as Harold): Thi— Anything. Things, I just got to suck on it for a while, and then it slowly dissolves. But like if you brought like a whole thing of grapes, I'll just like kind of go [Harold eating sound]
Amanda (as Troy): He just kind of gums it, you know?
Eric (as Harold): Just gum— I'm just gumming it.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric (as Harold): I'm just gumming it!
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright, bang. So that—we are back in the same spot here. The—you're able to pull your way out. And as the three—the three Spider Brigantines are chasing after you. What do you want to do?
Julia: Um—sorry, I'm like really thinking about, like, I'm very seriously thinking about ship combat and like, all of the books I've ever read about ship combat and ways we can get around this so—
Amanda: Good.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright, I'm laying mine down.
Julia: Well, we already kind of established that the moon is not very bright tonight, correct?
Eric: Correct.
Julia: Can I make a suggestion and I don't know how this will work mechanically or whatnot. But in a lot of pirate books that I've read, on particularly dark nights, extinguishing all of the lights on your ship will allow you to become basically invisible to the other ships in the area.
Brandon: Mmmm.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: That's a good fucking move.
Amanda: I love that. And because Harold is phosphorescent and he's kind of like dispersed, that should help.
Brandon: Can we combine that— should we combine that with a smoke bomb too, or is that sort of redundant?
Eric: You'd have to do one or the other.
Brandon: Okay, let's do the lights.
Amanda: I think yeah—
Julia: Yeah, let's see if it works.
Amanda: —I think let's— let's obscure— that's a great idea, Julia.
Eric: Hell yeah, I love that.
Julia: Thank you. That's what I've been thinking about very seriously—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: —for the past 10 minutes.
Eric: True. Do any of you want to use your special abilities before we resolve? The special abilities kind of come before the RPS stage so you do it before the—the moves happen.
Julia: Since it was my suggestion, would it make sense for me to use mine in this turn?
Brandon: Possibly. But I was gonna ask for double down, also a great KFC sandwich. If I create an opportunity, does that mean that we could like, extinguish the lights and also maybe take an extra bonus action to take a shot or something?
Eric: If you create an opportunity that would be for the next—your—your next one would be easier.
Brandon: Got it.
Julia: So maybe let's keep that for the shot.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: I—oh, we never used that one, that was something from Masks, is that like the next thing you do is easier.
Brandon: Cool. Cool, cool.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, you want to use yours, Julia?
Julia: Yeah, I'll roll.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright. Tasseography on the ship—
Julia: Big money, big money.
Eric: —with the sea flying everywhere, what does this look like?
Julia: I think that it's really funny because Cammie's just like, Cammie probably can't like brew a whole cup of tea right now in the middle of combat. So she just opens up the top of the teapot where Nonny is taking a little rest, and the way that Nonny is kind of laying down at the bottom of the teapot, that's how she's able to read the tea leaves.
Brandon: Love it.
Eric: Hell yeah, dude. Alright, give me a D20 roll, Julia.
[dice roll]
[Julia gasps]
Brandon: No.
Julia: I'm no— I'm not even fucking joking, it's a Nat 20.
Brandon and Amanda: YEEEEEEEEEE—
Eric: Jesus Christ.
Julia: Jesus fucking Christ.
Brandon: —YEEESSSSSSSS!
Amanda: Yey!
Julia: Beautiful, majestic even.
Eric: Bang. Alright.
Julia: Oh, so good.
Eric: Because you rolled a Nat 20—
Julia: Bless these dice.
Eric: —I'm going to show you right now. Boom, I was gonna do another rock. You see that Nonny goes [Nonny sound] and makes delightfully using light, and a little bit of sound, the shape of the ships ramming you. They are going to speed up and get you from behind.
Julia: Mmmm.
Brandon: Now, we've already used Cammie's thing, I've seen your cards, is it too late for me to play my double down?
Eric: No, it's not buddy.
Brandon: Mmmm, what do y'all think?
Amanda: Do it, bud.
Julia: Yeah, I mean, that sounds fucking dope. We should definitely do that knowing that it's rock.
Eric: Folks, this is called optimizing game mechanics.
Amanda: Yay!
Julia: Mmmm. Mmmm.
Eric: Absolutely.
Julia: Because then, Brandon, we could try for a broadside next turn.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Sick, yeah.
Julia: Since we're going to have the opportunity/we could frighten our opposition, so—
Brandon: I love that.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: I say we do it, yeah. Let's smack one piece of chicken, on top of another piece of chicken, put some cheese between it baby. Let's do a double-down.
Amanda: Brandon, if KFC doesn't pay us, they don't get the recognition.
Eric: Alright, I love this. So you're gonna double down?
Brandon: I'm gonna double the fuck down.
Eric: What does this sound like?
Brandon: Hmm. I think Umbi just goes around the—this is like— he's like priming right? So like he has the opportunity because Cammie and Troy have turned off the lights. He has the extra time to go to all the cannons, prime them with all the black powder and get them all set up. So all he has to do is like, single match, just like run down the line with a torch and light them all off at once, you know what I mean?
Eric: Right right right. You're re— you're ready to as soon as you're in position to put that torch on and just—and just make it happen.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Umbi, as you're getting ready you see one glowing light behind you.
Brandon: I turned around.
Eric: Havana is playing a Game Folk Advance.
Eric (as Havana): I need something to look up that's not the sea.
Brandon (as Umbi): Havana, turn that shit off!
Brandon: And he smacks it out of his hands.
Eric (as Havana): No, I wasn't able to save.
Amanda (as Troy): Eyes on the horizon, bud. We talked about this, it'll help with the nausea.
Eric (as Havana): [retches]
Amanda (as Troy): Alright.
[theme]
Amanda: Hello, welcome to the mid-roll where it is firmly iced tea season. Now, in this house, it's of course always iced tea season, but now especially it's that high viscous iced tea lemonade that if I see it on a menu in any coffee shop you know I'm ordering a large. Welcome, welcome, welcome, especially to new patron, new-old patron Mark Body, for whom Bones Body is named, by the way, who has rejoined the Patreon as an annual patron discerning, smart, wonderful looking, good hair day having patrons always join at the annual level, because that means you can get a whole year of supporting Join the Party upfront at a discount. We can only make the show with the time and love and energy that we do because of your support on Patreon. It is truly the backbone of everything we do. For just five bucks a month or hey, by the way, that's like not that many moneys for a year 50. I—I can do the discount, right? You can know that you're making the show possible and get an additional bi-weekly podcast from us over here at Join the Party called party planning. That's where we answer your questions, play games and peel back the curtain on the making of Join the Party. Julia and I just had a super fun one all about mundane superpowers. And guys, I am at 31 getting into makeup. So I am showing off all of my looks for the party planning video level. Come on over join us, join the Discord the best place on the internet, @patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude it is officially our favorite time of year, it's Multitude's annual summer survey. God, we're so excited. This is your chance to give feedback to Multitude as a whole, and also each of the individual shows in our collective that you listen to. Tell us how we're doing. where you want us to do live shows perhaps? 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They are a family-owned trans-operated and unionized company offering pride gear that subtle sustaining and suitable for work in a variety of pride flags, with sizes up to five XL in most items. They are truly an inclusive and wonderful company that we love working with and their apparel can let others around you know that you are a safe space to come to and talk to and celebrate Pride with. They— I asked them for like talking points like hey, like what should we let the audience know about the stuff that you make? And one of the things they said is that a ton of trans women and gender non-conforming folks have said that the skater dress they make is their first dress, like it's a very common thing that people buy who have never worn skirts or dresses before and they're like holy crap I love this so much. And actually last week, a Join the Party listener said that same thing. Someone who has never worn a skirt before bought a skirt through Nerdy Keppie and absolutely loved it and we love to see it. So listen use the coupon code Join the Party for 20% off your first purchase, @ithaspockets.gay. That's right folks, the website name is ithaspockets.gay for Nerdy Keppie, get 20% off coupon code Join the Party. We are also sponsored This week by The Oracles of Aughra. Sarsen Games's fourth successful Kickstarter project. This is a book of Gods, avatars, and subclasses. A whole new pantheon of gods that you can use to build champions, religions, cults, factions, holy sites, epic encounters, you name it. Something I really love about this is that each God has a backstory and character points that can turn them into a good, evil, or chaotic neutral deity. So you can shape them to your world and to fit into your campaign in whatever way you want to make unique moments. There are over 40 subclasses planned for the book, a bunch of them have been unlocked so far, including Sand Druids, Starlight Rogues, Wood Wizards, and more. This is their most ambitious project to date, and they Have had hundreds of positive comments and reviews online. Their last project you may Have heard of was called The Herbal Journal of Cecily Longbottom, which was their most successful project to date at that time. Which is actually available as an add-on during this campaign along with all of their other previous projects. So visit sarsengames.com. That's S A R S E N games.com, or look at Sarsen Games on Instagram, that's their handle @SarsenGames to find out more. The link is also in the description to back the campaign. And finally, the show is also sponsored by Better Help. It is so easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you and not take a moment to think about what you need from yourself. 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[theme]
Eric: Incredible. You know it's a rock, and Brandon you're going with paper?
Brandon: Yeah, I'll go with paper, baby!
Eric: Alright, boom that's a win for you.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: Automatically as you—
Amanda: You did it.
Eric: As the Sea Whip like a— like a crab in the night, just as the—just almost disappears as the three spider ships sail by. They—they rea— they were getting ready to ram you, but they just fully whiff. And now all three of them are ahead of you. On the double down, Brandon, would you want to—you want to set up the next turn?
Brandon: Yeah, I think we like drop anchor and do a quick like about-face broadside turn, so we have them on our sides now, right?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Absolutely.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: As you hear from the other— other ships—
Eric (as the other ship): Hey, no one said that they were ghosts. You—management never gives us enough information for us to do our jobs.
Julia: Cammie over the wind, very creepily goes—
Julia (as Cammie): The Sea Whip hasn't been alive in 40 years [ghostly voice]
Eric (as the other ship ): And now I heard it hasn't been alive in 40 years. Wooaaaah! [scared noises]
Eric: From each of the different ships, the Nina the Pinta, and the Spider Maria, all goes, wooaaah.
Brandon: I love it. I think we're— if we're able to do that turn and take a shot at the same time, I'd love to do that.
Julia: Hell yeah. Broadside, baby.
Eric: Alright, my card is down. You want to— y'all want to shoot them cannons?
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Yes, please.
Eric: Hell yeah, dude.
Amanda: Troy, will whip the wheel to the side, make sure that the boat is stabilized and ready to fire and that the currents line up so that it's buffeting us making sure that the momentum of the cannon all goes forward and not shooting the boat backward.
Eric: Absolutely. You gotta—you gotta watch out for the wind. Everyone knows that, especially butterflies. Alright, are we—we're ready? You wanna do?
Julia: Can it be my turn? I haven't gotten to go yet.
Brandon: Yeah, it's Julia's turn. So what is the advantage I get here for the creating an opportunity?
Eric: The advantage you get here is that if you get a mixed success, you can choose to go again. Or if you lose, or you do a mixed success, you can choose to go again and you will not get worse than what you already did.
Julia: Okay, okay.
Brandon: Oh, okay. Tight.
Julia: Hell yeah, dude.
Brandon: Okay. Yes.
Eric: There you go. Alright, this is Ju—this is Julia's pull?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Okay. Alright.
Julia: I'm ready, I pulled mine, I'm ready to go.
Eric: Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot. Oh, scissors.
Julia: Yeaaah!
Eric: Oh, no I—
Julia: Yeah, I fucking won!
Eric: Oh, I did Paper, fuck me.
Julia: I fucking won!
Brandon: Yes!
Amanda: Yay!
Brandon: Julia did scissors, Eric did paper, baby.
Amanda: We are winning a children's game—
Julia: Yeaaah!
Amanda: —we are winning a children's game!
Brandon: Winning a children's game!
Julia: The stakes have never been higher for Rock Paper Scissors.
Amanda: I know. Forget about sushi versus Thai food, come on people.
Julia: Nah, brah. Not even a little bit.
Brandon: Umbi reaches into his jacket, takes out a little vial of like, inflammable powder, lights it, like strikes like a match on the side of the boat, and then runs up and down the cannons and lights them all off.
Julia and Eric: Incredible.
Eric: I'm now going to use the spider ship’s special ability, which is that as each of the cannons fly towards the Nina, the Pinta, and the Spider Maria, you can see that they get caught in the spider web sails, and crew members hop up, grab it and are ready to throw it back at you.
Brandon: What?!
Eric: That's what happens when you broadside the spider ships.
Amanda: But we've disguised ourselves, so hopefully our target is much harder to hit.
Eric: That's true.
Amanda (as Troy): You know what as a kid in the Crags, you never want to play hide and seek with the kids that glow. Like it's just— it's just so easy. It’s just, who cares?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric: Incredible. Alright, I need the Sea Whip to take one harm here. You're down one, as two of the cannonballs fly over you and one smashes into your bow making a big hole. Luckily it's above the sea line. However, because of the beautiful setup that you had there, I rolled with disadvantage to attack you, so only one of you hit because I crit.
Brandon: Jesus.
Eric: And you are able to go again and we are able to Rock Paper Scissors again for Umbi to fire another broadside.
Julia: Now I just want to clarify because you did say something before which is, I can't do any worse on the second go around.
Eric: I—this one is different, it's like a different roll.
Brandon: The opportunity is over.
Eric: It's a different card action—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: —but I am letting you go again, because of the double down.
Brandon: We got some inspo-shipped-spa— nevermind—
Eric: Ships position.
Amanda: Shipsperation.
Brandon: Shipsperation.
Eric: So now we're just doing one—one regular one here. Alright, I put my card down.
Julia: I got to look at you in the eyes, hold on.
Brandon: See what his— read his mind, read his mind.
Eric: Achoo.
Julia: Okay. Hold on. Okay.
Eric: This is like watching someone set up at billiards, this is great. Alright rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Julia: Scissors again.
Eric: Scissors.
Brandon: Oooh, tie. Scissors, scissors.
Julia: We tied.
Eric: Bang. Mix success, so you can still hit and I'm going to take two points of damage here.
Julia: To the fleet itself or to one of the individual ships?
Eric: That's a great question. All collectives can have one HP pool.
Julia: Okay, great.
Brandon: But because I'm Mad Bomber, that's why it was two times damage so—
Julia: Right.
Eric and Julia: Yes.
Eric: The cannonballs still have Umbi's face on it, so it does dou— it does double damage.
Brandon: Can you fucking imagine a cannonball coming at you with Umbi's old ass face on it just—
Amanda: Yeah, that's what you're doing while we're not engaged in active combat, is carving individual cannon balls to have your face on.
Julia: I was gonna say painted, but yeah, that makes sense.
Brandon: No, I like carving—
Eric: I like carving, that's so much more dangerous.
Julia: Like a wood guy, you know?
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: I like the idea that we're like zooming in, we're going inside of the cannon.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: And we see Umbi's face so that we follow the cannon ball fly through the air and just—
Amanda: It laughs.
Eric: —and just like one of the ships just goes [explosion] totally explodes and sinks. That was the—the Pinta.
Brandon: I love it.
Julia: Ohhhh.
Amanda: Byee.
Julia: RIP Pinta.
Eric: Incredible. And then I'm going to do something. This is always the thing—
Julia: Yeah, you’re gonna– you're gonna roll over and die—
Eric: Yes, yes—
Julia: —come on.
Eric: —it's a mixed success, I forgot.
Julia: Bitch.
Eric: There's one here that says I'm just going to die. I think that the two other ships, the Nina and the Spider Maria immediately pull back. They recover, they see the flash of light and the shots of the cannon so they know where the ship is again. They immediately pull back and once again get back behind you and are chasing you again closer than before.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: They're really coming up fast. So I'm doing ‘your opponent quickly recovers’.
Julia: And they're heading directly towards us while we are still broadside, correct?
Eric: Yes, and they're getting out of broadside range and know where you are again.
Brandon: So I have two thoughts here that I could do. I have a smoke bo-bomb, which will help obscure us. I also have the laughing gas bo-bomb, so maybe I could like confuse them kind of thing?
Julia: Interesting.
Eric: You still have the opportunity to take a left and head towards that island chain, but all the cards are still on the table. You are all kind of like circling each other in open water still, firing volleys of cannon balls back and forth. Cannons going off, flung cannons back as you can is going off again from the Sea Whip, bang, bang bang and a cloud of smoke. Everyone takes the opportunity to regroup.
Amanda: I do agree with Julia that I think getting into like a small real X-Wing scenario is not going to help us here. If we're the biggest and bulkiest and slowest ship, trying to like evasive maneuver them will not work.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: We also have Troy's sharpshooter as well.
Julia: We do.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Be nice to snipe one of those.
Eric: Troy would have to do it with disadvantage because it's a very hard shot.
Brandon: Got it.
Amanda: I do have one risk die left, and one of the things I can do is use a bonus action and expend a risk die to double the normal and maximum range for the next range weapon attack I take.
Brandon: Ooh, okay.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: So it's closer range.
Brandon: That's cool.
Eric: If you use that I could take disadvantage off, do you want to do that?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. I'm going to use it to do steady aim.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Eric: If you want to use the sharpshooter—
Julia: Hell yeah, dawg.
Eric: —special ability. The reason why it's so hard is because you're doing it while you're steering. So this would definitely help you out.
Amanda: Yes, I'd love to do that.
Brandon: Classic Troy.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright. I'm gonna come up with an a—with an AC here. I'm gonna say 13, if you hit then I can't play scissors.
Brandon: Troy's mixtape is steering and shooting, is that it?
Eric: Is it country? It sounds like a country album.
Brandon: Could be a country album.
Julia: That does sound like a country album.
Eric: I love the idea of getting a mixtape like, hey man, I think you're really gonna like this. Oh, and did they push it in your hand and you look and it’s a country album.
Amanda: Hell yeah. Alright, let's roll.
Julia: You got this Troy.
Eric: Let's see.
[dice roll]
Julia: Heart of the cards, Troy.
Amanda: Happily, guys, I got a 14 plus 4 for an 18.
Eric: There we go!
Julia: Wooo!
Eric: Alright, I'm gonna check. No, that was scissors, gotta pick something else.
Amanda: Uhhhh. [laughs]
Eric: Alright, here we go. I'm playing another one, I can't play scissors. I love it, Troy's like leaning over the big pirate ship wheel. You're leaning over and you fire a shot that sails over the expanse between the two ships, and you pin the helmsman's hand against the actual steering wheel. And he's like—
Eric (as Helmsman): I can't—
Julia: Damn.
Eric (as Helmsman): —I can't turn. Waaaaaah!
Amanda: Can I tell you what makes the difference in letting me make this shot not a disadvantage?
Eric: Absolutely.
Amanda: Well, the end of Troy’s little proboscis pips out and he tastes the wind and makes sure that the— the arrow direction that he's firing in is the same as the wind.
Eric: In my head this is like—
Julia: It's so good.
Eric: —this is like putting in Mario Golf where you putt like, all the way to the left, and then the wind goes [wind noises] bang.
Brandon: Yeah. I love that.
Eric: I love that. Incredible. Alright, no more special abilities, they're all used up, but I cannot play scissors. I think all of you have done Rock Paper Scissors, so I need someone to hop in.
Julia: Yes. Game theory dictates that only one of these choices is good for us so—
Brandon: Beautiful.
Julia: —yeah, it should be paper, we should play paper. Whoever is gonna play is gonna play paper. Because that way we either win or tie, there's no way to lose against whatever card Eric plays.
Eric: I'll never tell how many cards I have.
Julia: Yeah, Eric pulls out the gun card.
Amanda: Aaaahh.
Julia: Bam, bam.
Eric: Maybe I have two scissors in here.
Amanda: I didn't even think about it. But yeah, I'm uh—I'm happy to pull it Eric, you ready?
Eric: Alright great.
Amanda: Right.
Eric: Rock paper, scissors. Shoot.
Amanda: I did in fact play paper and Eric has rock.
Eric: I had rock!
[cheering]
Eric: Incredible. What was the move?
Brandon: Shoot him?
Amanda: Yeah, shoot him, Brandon.
Julia: Shoot him.
Eric: Shoot.
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's fill them with what are— what are—what are cannonballs made of? Lead?
Amanda: Mmm.
Julia: Yeah!
Brandon (as Umbi): Rock? Granite. Fill them with granite.
Eric (as someone from Nina): It's— it's gunpowder you old squishy—you old squishy fruit!
Brandon (as Umbi): Cannonballs are made of gunpowder?
Julia (as Cammie): No, no, he's right, they are made of lead. You use the gunpowder to shoot them.
[explosion sound]
Eric: Explode and blow that guy away.
Brandon (as Umbi): They’re Iron, they’re iron.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric: The Nina is down, the Spider Maria is still charging after you. It's time for me to throw down my thing again. Bang. What do you do?
Julia: I think this turn, this thing is getting very close to us, the ship, right?
Eric: Yes.
Julia: And does it seem like it's trying to go for our ram again?
Eric: I can't say so. The Spider Maria is not pulling away, it’s staying within closer range to you than it was before. It's kind of hovering around like 20, 30, 40 feet.
Brandon: That’s very close.
Eric: If it got closer to you, maybe people could hop on board. Maybe they wanna ram, maybe— but they're definitely not far away anymore.
Julia: Alright, here's my suggestion. As you guys remember Dr. Radish Radish's shape water works better when multiple people are doing it. Maybe we can create a wave and push them off course.
Eric: This is an interesting idea. All three of you and maybe Havana as well would be doing it together. You would all kind of be leaving your stations together. But I think it's like a more of a precise action here, that like, everyone run to the front of the ship and then run back. So you would be leaving yourself vulnerable if you lost, but I think that this a very smart idea and would be satisfying if it all worked out.
Brandon: I'm into it.
Amanda: Let's do it. I mean if they get close, they get close but you know we—we still have two HP bars to share.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Then we give them a little kiss.
Julia: Little kiss.
Eric (as Pirate): As soon as you see the whites of their fo— of their 2, 4, 6, 8 eyes, you hop on board. Yarr!
Julia (as Cammie): And then you give them a little kiss.
Eric (as Pirate): No, there's nothing in the pirate rulebook that says kisses!
Julia (as Cammie): I disagree. Mine says it on every page.
Brandon (as Umbi): A little kiss on the nose.
Eric (as Pirate): Fine. Alright, I'm coming over here just to kiss.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay. Forehead kisses.
Eric (as Pirate): No, mouth kisses.
Julia (as Cammie): Ohhhh.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey man, pirates have standards too.
Eric (as Pirate): Yeah, and the standard is mouth kiss or nothing. I didn't say anything about tongue or proboscis.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Eric: Hell yes. What does this look like your collective shape water?
Brandon: Does it just looks like Tai Chi at this point.
Julia: It does look like Tai Chi.
Amanda: Yeah. Maybe—maybe like all facing each other, yeah, around the central mass.
Julia: Cammie stays in front and like leads it.
Amanda: Try to like concentrate the power of the shape water and like the center of gravity of our ship.
Eric: Yeah. All four of you just standing there, just go in and out. Push in, push out for sure.
Julia: Push and pull the water.
Eric: The push, the push, and the pull. Hell yes. Okay, folks, I got a thing here. Who wants to pull?
Brandon: I'll do it.
Eric: Yar! Brandon, if you lose this, I'm going to come to your house and hit you with a rock in your head. That's Eric saying this.
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: I put a teleportation button in your apartment, you didn't see that in the envelope?
Brandon: That was the cat, wasn't it?
Eric: That was the cat.
Julia: It's in the cat.
Eric: The cat—the cat has teleportation magic in it. Alright, rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Brandon: Ohh we both did rocks.
Amanda: Ohh, it's a tie!
Brandon: A tie.
Eric: Mixed success
Brandon: I was hoping you— you were like subconsciously revealing rock because you thought that was what the one you were thinking was— you were gonna lose to.
Julia: That's what I was thinking. Brandon, you pulled the one that I would have pulled so I can't fault you for anything.
Eric: I just love mind games. That's like my thing, my personal thing is mind games. Incredible. Uh…
Julia: What do we get? Is it going to be immediate unwelcome attention? Is it a problematic side effect? What's going to happen here? We're using some crazy magic in a you know? slightly magicless world. So—
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Amanda: And making big wave.
Julia: Big wave. Big wave.
Brandon: [sings] Big wave, big fish!
Amanda: Big wave could get our sail wet.
Brandon: Maybe the angler fish comes back and eats one of the boats?
Eric: That's pretty good.
Amanda: It could sideswipe us as it goes past us.
Eric: Oh, that's a good idea. Ooh, that's a really good idea. Okay. Yeah, I think that all of you Tai Chi a massive wave that reaches, the magical glow comes around, you're literally like pulling the water out of the sea. And then it climbs up and slams down on the Spider Maria pushing them far, far out to sea, just almost spinning arou—there's—if there's a real spin maneuver, I'm not really sure how you managed to do that.
Julia: Cammie threw a whirlpool kind of situation in that one.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Cammie was– was doing—was doing like a wheel thing while she was doing it, and yeah, it's kind of like spinning them out farther and farther away. They're going woaaaah! And Brandon Doppler effect a wa— just like a way. So it goes waaaah as they disappear. And you are out of ship combat.
Julia: Whoo!
Brandon: Whoa.
Julia: We did it.
Eric: The water surround-- the water that you had kind of pulled out of the sea settles, slams back down, and settles. But you see it still has this magical glow. I think because it's Cammie's magic as well, it almost steams a little bit as well.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: And catches in the moonlight.
Julia (as Cammie): Great.
Amanda (as Troy): That's really pretty, but I'm a little worried who else will find it pretty.
Eric: And I'm gonna say you draw immediate attention as you see like a warm yellow light kind of blinking farther off in the distance. And you see it's in Morse code and it's like SOS question mark?
Julia: Oh, I guess we could put our light back on. Cammie does a thing back which is like—
Julia (as Cammie): We're good, thanks.
Brandon: Wait, wait, woah, woah. We don't—do we even want to like talk to them at all?
Julia: Well, if they— if we don't respond, then they definitely know that we're in trouble and might come anyway. But since we're good, we're good.
Amanda: I agree, let's signal and then change course immediately.
Brandon: Let's signal, turn the lights back off then change course.
Amanda: Yeah. Cool.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric: That's fine. Yeah, you— you want to say you're good back in Morse code?
Julia (as Cammie): We're great, thank you.
Eric: That's so—that's so long. It's so long in turning lights on and off to make that happen.
Amanda: We have a mirror, we know what to do.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I think that in response you see as you start to turn off all your lights, you see “what was that” coming back from that singular amber light?
Brandon: What was what?
Julia: Probably the magic.
Amanda: Uh-oh.
Julia: Yeah. Okay, Cammie says back—
Julia (as Cammie): Weather balloon!
Amanda: Damn.
Eric: Cammie, I’m really need– I need you to make a persuasion check. And would Umbi or Troy, would one of you like to take a better look at that light, or you guys are go— you guys are good?
Amanda: Yeah, I'm happy to investigate.
Brandon: Yeah, I was gonna say, do we have any like, any of those long telescope-y things?
Eric: That comes standard in every— in any Acura MDX and also every pirate ship.
Brandon: I assume that will be next to Troy’s station if Troy wanted to use that.
Amanda: Yeah, I mean, I have vehicle proficiency. So maybe— maybe I know a little something about the shapes of boats and can tell something about what kind of boat it is.
Eric: Yeah, make a perception check.
Amanda: Alright. Actually, no, this one's bad. Let’s use this one.
Eric: Yeah. Right now you're just looking out and it's just kind of this one light kind of hanging—hanging up a little bit.
Amanda: Alright, got a 19, flat.
Eric: 19.
Brandon: Ooohh.
Eric: That's really good for Troy.
Amanda: I know. I'm banishing my other dice.
Julia: What do you see Troy with your big butterfly eyes?
Eric: That's 19—19 on the die, yeah?
Amanda: 19 on the die, yeah, I've plus 0.
Eric: Sure. Troy, you've seen a lot of boats in your day.
Amanda: That's true. Been on them, sunk them, swum them, made them.
Eric: Posed on–
Amanda: Out of a leaf once.
Eric: Posed on them.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Sell them.
Brandon: Ate them.
Amanda: Cavorted on them. Let's cavort with my boys.
Brandon: Crashed them.
Eric: Cavorted with your bros and some—some chicks o—on said boats.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, we're respectful on the Crags.
Eric: No, absitively. Umm—
Amanda (as Troy): We call them chickadees.
Julia: [laughs] Fuck.
Amanda (as Troy): It’s like they call themselves chickadees and so that it's okay that we also call them chickadees—
Eric: So it’s okay that you do.
Amanda (as Troy)—because we call them chicks and it's like, you know.
Eric: This lights like five feet off the ground, right? That would not be where someone would put a light on a ship. If you're gonna put it on the front or the back it would be much higher from the way that ships are kind of like sloped in the middle a little bit. So either there's a really tiny boat, or this thing is not a ship that is responded— that's responding back to you
Amanda (as Troy): Uh, guys, I think this might be another treasure chest situation if you get my drift.
Brandon (as Umbi): There's Amber?
Amanda (as Troy): Amber fish, maybe. But big boy with a big mouth is what I'm guessing.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay, the bad part about that.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Amberjack, that's a fish.
Eric: What was persuasion—what was your lying check?
Julia: It was a 13 + 2 for a 15.
Brandon: Not bad.
Julia: Not bad.
Amanda: Not bad.
Eric: So in the response to ‘weather balloon’, you see--
Julia: With an exclamation point. I know you could do exclamation points at SOS, but it would have one.
Amanda: It can in Verda Stello. Yeah.
Eric: You see, ‘oh seems interesting, let me know of your findings.’
Julia (as Cammie): K.
Brandon: Just a single K with the period?
Amanda: Can you say how? Or K? Or like, where at?
Eric: Yeah, if you want to.
Julia: What’s your email?
Amanda: Yeah, right.
Eric: You want to say how?
Amanda: That's my vote.
Brandon: I want to get the fuck out of here.
Julia: That's why I said K, just be like, alright we're done with this conversation.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: You're the one doing it so you—you decide.
Julia: No, I'd be but it's a— it's a team conversation. I don't want to be like, no.
Eric: Just you— just let—whatever happens, just let me know what you say.
Brandon: I want to get out of here because it's clearly a bad fish guy friend.
Julia: Well, it also could be someone on a very low boat—
Brandon: Like a dinghy.
Julia: Which I think we saw one of those when we were earlier. It could be someone on an island that we just can't see if it's five feet off the ground.
Brandon: It could be an island, but it could— like why would it be a dinghy in the middle of the ocean, open ocean?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Well, there's a bunch of islands around here. Not necessarily the open ocean.
Amanda: Mhm. I think I'll recognize it if we see it again. So I don't think we need to respond.
Eric: You could also keep it talking and look again.
Brandon: If y'all want to check it out, feel free.
Julia: You rolled pretty good, Troy.
Brandon: But—
Julia: If you want to like investigate it a little further, I'm not super nervous. We're doing okay, right now.
Amanda: Yeah like, like, we're pretty far away.
Julia: Yeah, and we can keep sailing away while still, you know.
Brandon: [sings] Sail away, sail away.
Julia: Yeah, ho— we're not going that fast.
Amanda: Let's start sailing away and I'll focus on that versus like, perceiving again. But Cammie if you can say, you know, where can we find you, or how do we reach you? I think that will be really intriguing.
Brandon: What's your number?
Julia (as Cammie): Where can we forward our information to?
Amanda (as Cammie): What is your forwarding address?
Eric: I'm gonna send all the actual Morse code for this. It's gonna take so long to beep out. And in response, you see, ‘the Rotten Queen will find you’.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Later best friend.
Eric: The light waves back at you.
Brandon: The light waves back.
Julia (as Cammie): Yay!
Amanda: Troy banks the ship's wheel and we sail finally back toward the Hold.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: And Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Guys, we got to see my best friend again!
Brandon (as Umbi): Who's your best friend?
Julia (as Cammie): Audrey? The Rotten Queen?
Brandon (as Umbi): The legend?
Eric (as Havana): I thought she was fake. [vomits]
Julia (as Cammie): No, remember, we saw her in the distance with her horde of zombies and I waved, and then she waved back. She waved back again.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm happy for your friendship. I'm—I'm a little nervous about like the huge—the huge anglerfish that almost killed us. Havana, this was before your time, but yeah, not— not a legend.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, thanks for making me not feel left out. [vomits]
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, I don't want to think this because Cammie also calls us friends. But I'm worried about Cammie's ability to discern what's a good friend and what's not.
Julia (as Cammie): Everyone's a good friend if you try hard enough.
Eric (as Harold): I do not have enough time to talk—or body power to talk about toxic relationships. I'm just getting us back.
Eric: So as you're sailing towards the Hold, there's a few— this is a little while later you hear the flush of a toilet. As Havana stumbles out and says—
Eric (as Havana): Okay, I'm cleaned up. I think I got out of my system.
Brandon (as Umbi): Did you mop up the poop deck?
Eric (as Havana): No, that's your job.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, it's not!
Eric (as Havana): Yes, it is! Your name is at the top of the laminated po—the laminated list.
Brandon (as Umbi): If you throw it up, you have to clean it up!
Eric (as Havana): Then write tha— write that on the laminated list, I'm not doing it.
Amanda (as Troy): Listen Havana, this is one of these unspoken rules between bros that you speak when you have to if someone doesn't know the unspoken rule between bros. And hey, bud—
Eric (as Havana): Yeah?
Amanda (as Troy): You throw it up, you gotta clean it up.
Eric (as Havana): Ugh, I guess it rhymes, so it must mean something.
Amanda (as Troy): That’s right.
Brandon (as Umbi): It doesn’t rhyme, it’s the same word.
Amanda (as Troy): Suns asleep, puppets do peep, that's how you know. That's how you know it's true.
Julia (as Cammie): That's how you know. Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Throw it up, clean it up. You know what I mean?
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm not—I'm not smart enough to make it rhyme, Eric, that's what I was saying.
Eric: I'm not—I don't know what you're talking about.
Amanda (as Troy): Who's Eric?
Eric: I don't know who Eric is.
Brandon (as Umbi): Eric Silver, the DM for Join the Party.
Eric (as Havana): Alright fine, whatever, I’ll clean it up, can I use those weird glasses? I have some really small letters I have to read.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh, no, Havana you probably shouldn't.
Brandon (as Umbi): What glasses?
Julia (as Cammie): I think we showed it to him.
Amanda (as Troy): The glasses that you safely transported back.
Eric (as Havana): You're just gonna lie to my face and you should clean up the—you should clean up the vomit because you're a vomit friend.
Brandon (as Umbi): The rule isn’t, if you make it up, you have to clean it up.
Eric (as Havana): It should be!
Brandon (as Umbi): But if you throw it up, you have to clean it up!
Eric (as Havana): It should be!
Eric: And he kicks over a bucket.
Julia (as Cammie): Havana, Havana calm down. Would you like a soothing cup of tea?
Eric (as Havana): Yes.
Julia (as Cammie): Maybe it'll help soothe your stomach a little more.
Eric (as Havana): Only if you promise never to lie to me ever again.
Julia (as Cammie): I simply can't do that.
Eric (as Havana): My friend brothers lied to me all the time. Like for example, they told me that I was gonna go to a brunch and that I sho— woke up on a mattress in the Great Salt Sea.
Amanda (as Troy): You know, listen, that was my decision and I will own it because that's what bros do. And every bro has to figure out what kind of drunk another bro is. And I didn't know yours, bro. First time you overindulge on the job a little bit. And listen, happens to all of us, not gonna hold it against you. But I don't want to put you in a position where you knew something that your brain on party time couldn't deal with on work time. So that's why it's important for me to in— it's important for me that you know, and listen, sorry, bro.
Amanda: And then Troy gives them a—bro pat, um shake.
Eric: Havana makes a long sniff, pulling himself together.
Eric (as Havana): Alright bro, you're right. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Amanda (as Troy): Can't use the glasses on letters, we will be using them to figure out what a Salmon is and how to bring the tides back.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can we do that newspaper thing? I want to do a newspaper thing.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, it’s special.
Julia: Cammie hands Havana a cup of chamomile tea.
Eric: Havana tries to like bro hug, Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): No, thank you.
Eric: Li—it's like one arm around you and another like a pot pressed up against his chest.
Eric (as Havana): Thanks, Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what that was. Um, so I agree with Umbi that we should investigate the newspaper given our newfound glasses. However, the way that Troy reacted to how he used the glasses has me a little concerned about well, everyone else's sanity.
Brandon (as Umbi): True.
Julia (as Cammie): So maybe I should do it?
Amanda (as Cammie): I'll just—anyone's welcome to use them. I will just say, was very surprised. I don't think it would hurt you, but you know, I've only read three books, you've read many more than that. So I don't mind. And listen, I think we should just all be honest about how the glasses make us feel. I felt really weird. Didn't know what was happening, didn't know where I was. Didn't know why a bear had that what in what—its mouth. Didn't know how to get out. Didn't know if this has happened to many books or just to me, and didn't know honestly, thing that freaked me out the most, if it should have happened to me earlier in my life. And so because it did, that's really what freaked me out and less the—the thing. I think Cammie you, no offense, older than I thought you were. I think you've probably dealt with some things that I have not dealt with.
Brandon (as Umbi): Um, newfound glasses is my favorite band. Troy, what are the other two books?
Amanda (as Troy): Well, there was the one about barrels, and then I read—
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): I read the title of the book about drinks and then—
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Eric: What was it like 101 drinks and how to make them easy style?
Brandon: The bar rag, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, I did read the title of it. Now that I'm saying that out loud, I think maybe that means I did not read the book, but I did read the title of the book, so I will say I have read my book about barrels. And I have read the title of two other books, the one—one about drinks—
Brandon (as Umbi): Tight.
Amanda (as Troy): And then the— the map of the Book Depository. Now that I say it, I do think that was a map and not a book. I have read one book.
Julia (as Cammie): You can read a book about maps or a book of maps.
Brandon (as Umbi): That was—I was not trying to call you out, I was just curious.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. No, let's— bros call bros out. Right, right, Havana?
Eric (as Havana): I'm drinking tea.
Julia (as Cammie): The chamomile will soothe your stomach.
Eric: The tiniest little cat kitten sip.
Julia (as Cammie): It will soothe your stomach, trust me.
Eric (as Havana): [blows] It's too hot.
Brandon: He throws up a whole chamomile flowers.
Eric (as Havana): [blowing] It's still too hot, hold on. [blows tea]
Julia: Cammie waits very attentively for him to actually take a sip of it like, like hands clasped in front of their face being like—
[Cammie gasps]
Eric (as Havana): Oh, that’s pretty, that's good. It's pretty good, uh it's pretty good, it's good.
Julia (as Cammie): Good, good.
Amanda (as Troy): So yeah, Cammie you can—you can have it for sure.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm afraid that I will have an arrhythmia and die if I do it, so you should do it.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): It’s a good idea.
Julia (as Cammie): That's a valid concern.
Eric: Alright, Brandon put a—Brandon put ‘arrhythmia’ on your character sheet, please.
Julia: Umbi now has like disadvantage while frightened you know? Because he might give himself a heart attack.
Eric: There's a surgeon’s general warning on Brandon's character sheet that says, heart disease is the silent killer.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Brandon (as Umbi): Which, to be clear, I am not afraid of dying, the arrhythmia is scary.
Eric: Sorry, I should have said artichoke heart disease is the silent killer.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: That's good.
Eric: That's what it is.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: Hey, I've been he—here ou— here all night. Tip your waitresses, I'm the best DM in podcasting, what's up?
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Thank you chuckle hut, alright. So yeah, what—what we want—we want to hop in?
Julia: Yeah, I think Cammie takes the glasses and is going to spread out the newspaper on a dry surface and is going to read it.
Eric: Sure. Cammie, you have a similar experience to what happened with Troy, as you put on the glasses, you can't see anything. I don't know if anyone has the experience of not wearing your glasses, or putting on glasses of someone else who has terrible eyesight when you don't need them and I hate you. But like everything is just so incredibly blurry, except for the newspaper. As you look down in the newspaper, you feel like just you're in a roll— you're on a roller coaster that is going steeply down, like your stomach starts to raise and the ground goes away. And then you hit new ground on your hands and knees. And you hear the peas and carrots, peas and carrots, sound of a crowd.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Weeeee! Ow.
Brandon: Now, these are actually peas and carrots, right?
Eric: Yeah, they are peas and carrots that’s why they're going Rutabaga, Rutabaga, Rutabaga. And there’s a rutabaga there.
Brandon: And they’re saying Rutabaga? Great.
Eric: Yeah. And you look up and there's a crowd of people, kind of like at the outside of a dried up lake. As you look up, you realize you're in Briars County, because there's a sign that says Briars County, nothing bad's ever happened. You also look up and you see everyone is in 1950s style suits and dresses. Real Mad Men-ass like slim cut black and dark blue suits for the men, just structured dresses, maybe some poodle skirts on the teenagers as a greaser, over on the side is a roly-poly who kind of then gets into a roly-poly and speeds away.
Amanda: He goes, I'm Kenickie.
Eric (as Roly-poly Greaser): I'm Greased Lightning, aye!
Julia: I think Cammie's gonna turn to like a carrot woman near her and be like—
Julia (as Cammie): Excuse me, what are we all waiting for?
Eric (as Carrot Woman): What, you didn't hear? What were you sleeping under multiple rocks?
Julia (as Cammie): Yes.
Eric (as Carrot Woman): Ohh, sorry, I guess on—I guess I only found the bug folk did that. Oh, well I'm sorry you've been sleeping for so long. Didn't you hear? The Cascade dried up and now the river—and now the riverhead, there's no water in there and it revealed something.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, no. What does it say?
Eric (as Carrot Woman): Well, we haven't figured it out but [mumbles]
Julia (as Cammie): I'm sorry, can you repeat that?
Eric (as Carrot Woman): What do you mea—I'm sor—I don't have enough time. What—my—my son—my son has sped away, Jeremy!
Eric: As she's running after the rolling roly-poly.
Julia: What a weird family dynamic.
Eric: Cammie, as you look around, it's a little like sepia tone everywhere. Remember the— the newspaper is pretty yellowed. So everything feels like a little bit muted, a little bit yellow or brown like almost like someone put 30% opacity sepia tone on an Instagram filter.
Julia: Sure.
Amanda: Juno! Shakes fist.
Eric: And yeah, as you— and you're looking around, and it seems like everyone's kind of pushing towards, yeah, the—what used to be the riverhead. So as we explained before, when the Cascade dried up, the Cascade fed into this really large, I guess lake or moat or gorge, which then would feed all the rivers and streams in Verda Stello. But you've never seen— I don't know if you've ever seen this because Briar's County is right at the riverhead.
Julia: Interesting. I think Cammie is going to politely make her way through the crowd and see if she can see what she knows to be the drought stones.
Eric: For sure. Yeah, you're pushing through like—
Eric (as Briar folk): Hey, we all want to see what's happening. Hey, watch out why your— why’s your hat so big?
Brandon: Your hat’s just hitting people in the face as you walk by.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. As you get closer, I don't know you probably maybe you've seen pictures. I don't know if you've ever been to the riverhead before. But it really just looks like what we understand of like, have you ever seen like— maybe not even the Grand Canyon but any sort of like gorge or big hole, like natural hole in the ground? You just see like the layers of land and like where the soil goes into rock and goes into different blah blah blah. But now you actually see that there's a little bit of water at the bottom of the gorge.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: It's almost like— like looking at a swimming pool that's slowly being drained, is like there's still like a third of the riverhead filled up. But kind of like in the center, which people are still kind of like sliding down a little bit. They're kind of grasped onto the side. You see that a very official-looking mushroom-- portobello mushroom has—it like—
Amanda: Oh, what a cop, that's so good.
Eric: —is like—has like a rope tight around their waist and is like has like spelunked down towards the drought stone, which is stuck in the side of this gorge.
Brandon: A very official-looking mushroom is the funniest sentence you've ever said.
Eric: Thank you. Yeah, the Portobello mushroom’s wearing a sash that says mayor.
Amanda: Yeah, he has a little top hat–
Julia: Incredible.
Amanda: –a tiny monocle and a huge mustache.
Eric: Yeah, exa—yeah, a 100%.
Amanda: You know— we all know the word picture.
Eric: Yeah. You also see that there's like a moth who's floating around down there with a hat that says “press”. Like a trilby hat with a little, little, little piece of paper that says, “Press”.
Amanda: He's smoking and has a very skinny mustache.
Julia: Fair enough. So I can't see what the stone looks like from where I'm at, right?
Eric: No, it's pretty far away but people are craning and you can still get some sights of what it is. It definitely is the thing that you—you remember, you recognize, of course, the immortal words, even if you can't read them out. It says “the water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning, find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and the salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire!” But then like below that, it's almost like it's two different pieces of stone, right? Like the thing that everyone knows is this one piece of stone with—with the drought stones have this thing carved into it. And then it's almost like there's another slightly different colored piece of stone with other language carved into it below it, which is some words you can't recognize.
Julia: Now, Eric, I have one second-level spell left.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: I would like to cast Swift Flight on myself.
Brandon: Yes!
Julia: I want to fly down—
Eric: Sure.
Julia: —and see what that says.
Eric: Absolutely, you can.
Amanda: [sings] Casting magic in the book.
Eric: For sure. Yeah, what does that look like?
Julia: I almost picture it like a Disney movie transformation, you know where someone floats up in a swirling magical wind?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Except that's just there's no transformation part, it's just Cammie floating up into like twister of magical wind and then getting to fly.
Eric: I love that, that's that's very cool.
Eric (as member of the crowd): Hey, lady who you?
Julia (as Cammie): Don't worry about it. Have a wonderful day.
Eric (as Mayor): That's right. As your mayor, don't worry about it.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, Cammie you, you have flit over there. Sure, you want to— you want to get up real close?
Julia: I want to just quickly read it and then fly back to the top.
Eric: Sure.
Eric (as Reporter): Miss, I'm trying to get a story here, can you give me some space?
Julia (as Cammie); I'm also a reporter.
Eric (as Reporter): Oh, what newspaper are you from?
Julia (as Cammie): The Open Fields… Federalist.
Eric (as Reporter): Oh, yeah, I've heard of that. I didn't know you would come all the way down here to Briars County.
Julia (as Cammie): Do you know these stones are a big deal, I want to make sure that everyone across Verda Stello knows about them.
Eric (as Reporter): Interesting. Alright. Well, hey don't get my scoop, at least let me publish here in the— in the Briars County Bizaar.
Julia (as Cammie): You are more than welcome too. It'll take me a couple of weeks to get back to my paper anyway. So you'll get the scoop, no problem.
Eric (as Reporter): You got to do— you got to do for news, what you got to do for news.
Julia (as Cammie): That's true.
Eric: For sure. Alright, you got a better look at the stone. So once again, “the water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and the salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” And below that, you see “a key in the sky, a key for a maze, a key that [mumbles] Four locks to one do what can't be undone, reset the green ring to how it'd begun.”
Amanda: AAAAAAAHHH!
Brandon: Hmmm..
Julia: Fuck.
[theme]