32. Legends of the Divine Labyrinth VI

I’m not sure what 90s RPG boss battle music would sound like as a sea shanty, but imagine it’s blaring from the tiny speaker in your Game Boy Advance.

 

Dive into our ship combat mechanics, classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!

 

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Cast & Crew

- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.

- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman

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About Us

Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.

Transcript

Eric:  I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!

[theme]

Amanda:  Last time on Join the Party. 

Eric:  At the end of all this, after being chased around by the Harvester, getting into the Grove, recovering the maze key, removing the curse from Gloria, evading the frustration of the planter, navigating a massive hedge maze, getting a new puppy, and finding, resolving and just overall dealing with the religious crisis going on with Havana Tropicana, the end is in sight. But the Harvester isn't gonna let you go that easily. Let's get the party started. Standing in front of the exit of the Divine Labyrinth, over its shoulder, the shimmiling and burbling boiling reef, the only exit, well, your— your boat is sitting right there, docked where you left it some indeterminate amount of time ago, standing in between you and salvation and safety is a heaving, angry— if— if it could make facial expressions, maybe it would. It would be incredibly pissed at every single person standing in front of them. The Harvester is getting larger and larger as its weird root body is kind of leaned down on all fours, and is, like, heaving and expanding, and it's tall. The Harvester is tall, and the scythe is just as long and sharp as it's always been. As demonstrated, of course, by the fact that Gloria is sliding in half.

Brandon (as Umbi): No.

Julia:  I don't think she is, actually.

Eric:  Oh, you don't?

Julia:  No, because I'm going to use Intrusive Thought on the Harvester. 

Amanda:  Ooh.

Eric:  Okay.

Julia:  As a reaction, when a creature you see within range makes its action to attack or takes the dash, dodge, or disengage action, they must make a Wisdom Saving Throw. On a failed save, the creature takes an action of your choice.

Eric:  Interesting. Okay. Here's what I'm gonna say for this, Julia. This is interesting. Here's what I gonna say, this came out of— the slice came out of nowhere. We're gonna roll for Initiative, my friends. And if you come before the Harvester, you can do this. 

Julia:  Okay. I get a negative 1 to Initiative. 

Eric:  It will not count towards your action, if this will be before.

Julia:  Okay. Okay.

Eric:  But everyone, let's roll for Initiative and see how we do, folks.

Brandon:  Okay.

Julia:  Heart of the cards, come on.

Brandon:  Heart of the cards, heart of the cards.

Amanda:  What'd you get, Julia?

Eric:  Julia, what'd you get?

Julia:  So technically, I got a 0.

Amanda:  Oh, no.

Brandon:  Did you get a 1?

Julia:  That's really bad. That's really bad.

Amanda: I got a Nat 20. Can we switch?

Eric:  No. 

Amanda:  Okay.

Eric:  These don't— the criticals don't count for Initiative.

Amanda:  Yeah, yeah.

Eric: I do need the real number.

Julia:  The dice tell a story, the dice tell the story.

Brandon:  Does a Nat 20 mean you go first regardless of— if someone gets—

Eric:  No, it doesn't. It means it's—

Julia:  It's a waste of a Nat 20, basically.

Eric:  Natural 20 is actually only really are supposed to work for attack rolls, but because everyone's so excited about it, folks also apply to abilities for fun.

Amanda:  Oh.

Eric:  But for initiative, specifically, I do need the actual numbers.

Brandon:  I did not know that.

Amanda:  22 for me, then.

Eric:  22.

Amanda: I don't know that, either.

Eric:  Umbus.

Brandon:  5, total.

Eric:  5, Umbus.

Brandon:  3 plus 2.

Eric:  Cool. Alright. Julia, I did roll above 0.

Julia:  Okay, that's fine. I've kind— I kind of figured, but I wasn't sure.

Eric:  I rolled above a 0, unfortunately.

Amanda:  That's tough.

Eric:  Gloria— the— the— the main timeline remains as Gloria slides off of her body and splorps onto the ground with a satisfying splorp.

Brandon:  Satisfying for you, baby. 

Eric:  Yeah, it— it's pretty sa— it's a pretty satisfying sound. We are now in Initiative, my friends. 

Julia:  Oh, boy.

Brandon:  Wee!

Eric:  Troy, Troy, 22, what do you want to do, bu— my man? The Harvester is standing in between you and all of your friends.

Amanda:  Well, folks, I have three arrows remaining, and 41 hit points, I'm gonna try to make it count. So first as a free action, Troy is going to yell—

Amanda (as Troy): Harold, Sil, if you could help us, now's a great time.

Julia:  Good point. Good point.

Eric:  It's a good point.

Julia:  They are within range. 

Amanda:  Not sure exactly how far the boat is, but it's— it's right behind him.

Eric (as Harold): Uh, yeah, I mean, we'll get re— we'll get it ready. We'll— we'll get ready as fast as possible, but you gotta get over here first.

Amanda (as Troy): Alright.

Eric:  The mizzen sails are being raised, my friends.

Julia:  Okay. Alright.

Brandon:  If this is useful for you, Amanda, I can load a missile on your arrow, on one of them or whatever.

Amanda:  I would love to save that because I have two weird arrows that my new son, the puppy gave me. And so—

Julia:  I forgot about the puppy.

Amanda:  —Troy is going to knock one of them, and fire it over at the Harvester.

Brandon:  Fuck yeah.

Julia:  I hope your puppy survives better than the friend I made.

Amanda:  Hey, Julia, me too.

Brandon:  Maybe that'll teach you a lesson, Julia, don't make friends. 

Amanda:  Alright, that is— that is simply a 6, so it doesn't hit.

Eric:  You want to rebound? 

Amanda:  Yeah, I know, I'm definitely gonna ricochet on that one. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Amanda:  So I'll use my bonus action and reroll. Okay, that's a 13 to hit.

Eric:  No, that's not gonna hit my friend.

Amanda:  Alright.

Eric:  Yeah, it's like—

Amanda:  Luckily.

Eric:  —bing bong! It's— the Harvester— they— it deflects off of the ground, and then the Harvester just deflects it away using their scythe.

Amanda:  Luckily, Troy has to 2 tax return. So, yeah, that's a even worse than 11 to hit.

Eric:  Yeah. And you want to rebound that one?

Amanda:  I only have one bonus action.

Eric:  Oh, you only have one bonus action.

Amanda:  Yes.

Eric:  No. Bing bong, bing, bing, bing, bing. As the— the Harvester deflects all of your shots.

Amanda:  Alright.

Eric:  Tough.

Julia:  It's a tough one.

Eric:  Tough.

Brandon:  How is everyone doing, by the way? HP attacks, spell slots?

Julia:  I'm not great on either of those, but I do have something that will hopefully remedy that fact. But we'll see. 

Brandon:  Like, break out a cot and take a quick short rest?

Julia:  We'll see, Brandon. We'll fucking see.

Eric:  Gloria sliced in a half at the moment. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  Havana is regular style. Havana is this regular—a regular, old medical student Havana again.

Brandon:  Troy, where's Troy at?

Amanda:  Troy's 41 hit points.

Brandon:  Oh, okay. So Troy is doing okay, at least.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  I'm at 24 with no reagent dice, so I'm very limited on what I can do. 

Julia:  Yikes. Yikes, gang.

Eric:  Cool, cool, cool. Alright, it is now 20 Initiative Count, and I'm— I'm gonna do something. As you hear just like sheer movement of ground, as long weird grasses start to grow from where you're standing, under your feet, starting to cover your toes, and it feels bad. Also, the hedges are growing. The hedges are getting closer and closer, and bigger and bigger right here at the mouth of the labyrinth. You turn around the way that you went in originally, and also the other— the other pathway is going into the labyrinth. The doorways or the archways are getting smaller here. Getting smaller as the hedges start to grow. It is also Gloria's turn, where Gloria says—

Eric (as Gloria): Well, don't just stand there. Can— can we— let's— let's do something.

Julia (as Cammie): You're still conscious?

Eric (as Gloria): Well— well, you know, only one part of me. 

Eric:  Both halves of Gloria are laying on the ground. The second half is kind of wiggling or wobbling over there. And then you— you hear—

Eric (as Gloria): Oh, hold on, hold on. 

Eric:  And you see just like a little, tiny, tiny body, her tiny, tiny bottom half is started to grow out of the sliced— her sliced center. Like—

Eric (as Gloria): You're just— you're gonna have to give me a second, but we got to—we— don't leave me here. Can— we gotta push through, we're this close. We need to get out of here. 

Brandon (as Umbi): We would never leave you, Gloria.

Julia (as Cammie): Definitely would not leave you. That would be really shitty.

Eric (as Gloria): Well, you pick— someone truly does need to pick me up and go. I can't walk on this.

Amanda (as Troy): Worms are so cool.

Eric:  Okay. Gloria also says—

Eric (as Gloria):  If you promise to take me with you, I can— I'll— please— take— okay, who's— I— I— I need a promise from one of you. Who's taking me? 

Amanda (as Troy): All of us.

Eric (as Gloria): Who's gonna carry me out? 

Amanda (as Troy): All of us.

Eric (as Gloria): No, all of you can't carry me out.

Amanda (as Troy): I'm the strongest. I'm the strongest.

Eric (as Gloria): Troy will carry me out. 

Julia (as Cammie): Okay, Troy will carry you out, then.

Amanda (as Troy): Of course.

Eric (as Gloria): Okay. Troy, Troy—

Julia (as Cammie): I will make sure you get out of here safely, if Troy doesn't carry you.

Eric (as Gloria): Okay. Troy, do you have space? You're already carrying— because you already have a passenger.

Amanda (as Troy): The Planter gave me two hips for a reason.

Eric:  Gloria also reaches into— into a pouch that she's had on her side the whole time, and takes out a throwing axe, and throws through the— at the Harvester.

Julia (as Cammie): Hell yeah.

Eric:  And slices a few of its weird, undulating roots.

Julia (as Cammie): It's a good idea.

Eric (as Gloria): You sliced off some of me.  I'm gonna slice up some of you.

Amanda (as Troy): That's the spirit, Gloria.

Julia (as Cammie): You go, Gloria. 

Eric:  Hey— hey, folks. Hey, folks.

Amanda:  What's up?

Eric:  Folks, it's now the Harvester's turn. The Harvester obviously is going to maintain its position in the exit of the labyrinth. But it is going to use some of its weird, weird growing tendrils, and he's going to try to grab our good friend Cammie Cassis.

Julia:  Why me?

Eric:  Because you're a— because you're an abomination.

Julia:  No, I'm not.

Eric:  That's why.

Julia:  No, I'm not.

Eric:  Talk— talk to lo— talk to the Lord, Julia. Talk to the Lord. Strength Check, my friend. 

Julia:  [dice roll]

Amanda:  Can I help? 

Eric:  No.

Julia:  No. It's an 18 minus 1, so a 17.

Brandon:  That's good.

Julia: So hopefully that's decent.

Eric:  You're going to beat my grapple check.

Julia:  Fuck yeah.

Eric:  But you're slashed by the thorns that are on the end of the roots. Please take 12 points of pure— of slashing damage. 

Amanda:  Holy shit.

Eric:  The Harvester, like, pushes forward, gets as close to Cammie as possible. Opens its weird pumpkinseed mouth and makes another of that like the loudest ripping of pumpkin you've ever heard. Like, you— you know those videos of like of hippos eating watermelons and pumpkins—

Amanda:  Oh, yeah.

Eric:  —in the fall.

Amanda:  Oh, yeah.

Eric: It's that. It's so— it's loud. It's like it's screaming this pumpkin destruction in your face, Cammie.

Brandon:  I don't like that.

Julia (as Cammie): Can you back it up please, sir? Just like I need distance here. You're—you're being really weird.

Eric:  Havana— it's— it's now Havana's turn. Havana is gonna give the help action to someone— to whoever needs it. Havana's like—

Eric (as Havana):  I'm gonna help. I'm— I'm gonna help. I can’t do much, I'm gonna help.

Brandon:  Good boy, Havana, good boy. 

Amanda: Good luck.

Eric:  Havana— Havana's gonna hold his action and give— and someone to help action if they call for it. Umbi, it is now your turn. 

Brandon:  Well, I don't know what I want to do yet.

Eric:  Cool. If you have some questions, as always feel free to— you can make checks— you can make one check, which will not count against your action if you have a question or a thought. 

Brandon:  Okay. Oh, boy. I have two questions.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:   One, how far away are we from the Harvester?

Julia:  Well, he's right in my fucking face, apparently.

Eric:  You're in within close range, right? You're not within immediate melee distance, but like it's enough of rea— of reach, and the Harvester is also standing in the way of the only exit.

Brandon:  Easy attack range, but not necessarily like disengage range.

Eric:  Yeah, exactly. You'd have to— if you want to run, you can run and go somewhere else, but you'd have to do that. 

Brandon:  Okay. Cool. And then second, explain to me what I'm seeing visually in front of me. So there's the— the stone tunnel, correct? 

Eric:  Yes, yes. 

Brandon:  And then, is everything else hedge?

Eric:  Everything else is— everything behind you is hedge. You're like at the exit of the labyrinth. You— the atrium, the entrance that you went into in the beginning is a way or kind of the li— the dividing line that the Harvester is blocking.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Behind you, everything is hedge, and the hedges— the hedges are growing, and so is the grass below your feet.

Brandon:  What about, like, to the sides of the tunnel? And then like if I look left and right, is that hedge? 

Eric:  Yes, yes. 

Brandon:  Okay, friends, players, colleagues—

Eric:  Lend me your ears.

Brandon:  —lend me your ears. Okay, I have a couple thoughts here. One, I do double damage, obviously, augment construction, which I think would count if I wanted to try to make a second exit—

Amanda:  Cool.

Brandon:  —out of the hedge maze or something.

Amanda:  Okay.

Eric:  Hmm.

Julia:  I do not think that's a good idea, because the hedge maze is magical, and we've seen indication that it moves. So I imagine if you try to bust a hole in it—

Eric:  True.

Julia:  —it will just regrow.

Brandon:  Regrow? That's a— that's a good point.

Amanda:  That's very creative, but I bet you could blow up the stone cart.

Brandon:  Yes, but I don't— 

Julia:  Will that block our passage back to the boat, though?

Brandon:  Or will that even give us a second exit? I don't know. That's— that's my question.

Amanda:  Well, it may crush the Harvester, or at least—

Brandon:  Oh.

Amanda:  —lets us climb over the rubble is my only thought.

Brandon:  Oh, that's a good idea, man. I didn't think about that. 

Amanda:  Just the thought.

Brandon:  Thought two, though, I could throw a smoke bomb, which gives—

Amanda:  Uh-huh.

Brandon:  —a 10-foot radius sphere, which blinds the Harvester, because they don't think we are within 10 feet. So, I don't think it will affect us.

Amanda:  Right.

Brandon:  Which would give us three rounds in which attacks against him has— have advantage and attacks that he does have disadvantage. And also any ability check that requires sight, he has disadvantage on. So we could try to, like, sneak around him. What do we think— do we want to, like, try to sneak past this guy? Should I try to kill him? What do you— what do we think?

Eric:  If you want to try to blow a hole in the— talk to the— to the first idea. If you want to try to blow a hole in the hedges, you can try and see if that's even possible, certainly, with an Arcana Check.

Brandon:  Cool. 

Eric:  But also, yeah, I think if you want to— the stone blowing up passage, I think it's certainly possible as well. 

Brandon:  Okay, cool. Yeah, thank you. I would love to do an Arcana Check to see if I can blow a hole in these hedges. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Amanda:  I would say about the smoke bomb that seems worth doing regardless, so he can't get a lot of damage off on us. But I'd be curious to see if we can collapse, so not to hit him at all.

Julia:  I also have a thing. I don't want to reveal yet. 

Amanda:  Okay. 

Julia:  But it will, I think, help both us and also Cammie as a character that has 17 hit points left, so—

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  Okay. Well, I got a 12 plus 6 for 18 for Arcana.

Eric:  Cool. Umbi, you— you survey because you love blowing stuff up, right?

Brandon:  I do.

Eric:  And you survey all of the hedges. The hedges on the outside of the labyrinth, the one that is the farthest edge, right, is a different color than the other hedges. The hedges that are inside of the labyrinth are a dark, dark, dark green. But because the hedges on the edge of the labyrinth are next to the Boiling Reef, they are lighter, and they seem to be a little bit more brittle, maybe a little bit more to work with.

Julia:  Like dehydrated. 

Eric:  Here's— yeah, maybe a little bit more dehydrated. Here's a DM fact, if you make something relevant in the beginning of the arc, you do need to make it relevant in the end of the arc even if they don't mess with it. 

Amanda:  Yes. 

Julia:  Woo. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Amanda:  I'm all for that plan, then. 

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah. I will also say like the thing you noticed before, because Umbi did notice it and was hoping that the entire hedge maze would go up in flames with the dead forest. I don't know if fire bombs will do the thing that you're looking for it to do, but it will— can be— a hole can be punched through.

Julia:  Okay.

Brandon:  Okay, cool. Great.

Eric:  But it's up to you what you want to try to blow up. Just let me know what.

Brandon:  Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, I don't know that I'm going to, as a character, be able to do much to the Harvester, and I don't even know if the Harvester can really be killed.

Eric:  Brandon— Brandon has been watching a lot of Resident Evil— a lot of Resident Evil play throughs. 

Brandon:  Excuse me, I'm talking to my players, Eric. 

Julia:  Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 

Brandon:  So, I don't— well, do you all think I should— what— what would you be your opinion? Should I try to collapse a tunnel or should I try to blow an exit?

Julia:  I think collapsing the tunnel is going to make it more difficult to get back to the ship. I think blowing an exit would make more sense.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah. And you got— and you just won that Arcana Check, too. Might as— take it.

Julia:  Take it.

Brandon:  Is that what you think, Amanda?

Amanda:  My, like— my, like, defensive driving mindset is saying to the smoke bomb this round and then do the whole next round. But if we had any chance of, like, we need to get out of here, I agree with you. I don't think we're gonna be able to, like, vanquish the whole Harvester, so I say go for it.

Brandon: No, but you're right. But then Cammie— Cammie, you're— you can't take another hit.

Julia:  I— don't worry about me.

Brandon:  Don't worry about Cammie?

Julia:  I'm pretty sure I go next.

Brandon:  Okay, cool.

Eric:  Yeah. And you guys, we still have multiple rounds, folks, whatever you want. 

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Yeah. I think, then, I'm just going to— yeah, I'm gonna throw a regular-ass bomb at this regular-ass bush, and try to blow up this regular-ass maze.

Eric:  Alright. Let me bring out my favorite thing for Brandon, which is the—

Amanda:  DC of objects.

Eric:  —the AC of materials in Dungeons and Dragons. The roll20.net/compenium/dnd5e/objects#content. I'm gonna look that up really quickly. 

Julia:  #content.

Eric:  #content. Wood, bone, and stone are like 15 and 17.

Julia:  Wood, bone, and stone, that's my cover band of Earth, Wind & Fire.

Brandon:  Wood, bone, and stone. Wood, bone, and stone.

Eric:  Do you remember the 31st of October? They're— they're the spooky Earth, Wind & Fire. I'm gonna go for Crystal Glass and ice, something close over the hedge. I'm looking for a 13, my friend.

Brandon:  13, great. Cool.

Julia:  Easy-peasy, Amanda.

Brandon:  Now, would you say— would you say that the bush I'm throwing this bomb at is within 15-foot diameter of the Harvester, or anyone else?

Eric:  No. I'd say that—

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  —if you're going to do it, it'd be like off to the side, that would make the most sense for me, cinematically.

Brandon:  I figured too, but I just want to double-check.

Eric:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Cool. Okay. Alright, here's my roll. I'm going to roll—

Eric:  I'm looking for a 13.

Brandon:  —gonna roll bomb attack. Here we go. 

Julia:  You can do it, Brandon. You add so much to your bomb attacks.

Brandon:  Please. I got a 12 plus 5 for a 17.

Amanda:  Hey.

Julia:  See, we're fine, everything's fine. 

Eric:  Alright. 

Amanda:  If this shit could have been bone, you would have blasted through it.

Julia:  Yeah. Blast through that bone.

Eric:  Yo— hey, Brandon, can you fucking blast that bone, please?

Brandon:  You can blast that bone?

Eric: That would be really great. 

Julia:  You can blast that bone.

Eric:  Sure. I am looking for some damages well, folks. Why— why don't you— why don't you roll for that?

Julia:  I'm sure you are looking for some damage.

Brandon:  Since this is a regular-ass bomb that's not been primed, because of my reagent dice, it's only a 1D10 plus my Dex. 

Eric:  Okay.

Julia:  Okay. Okay. It's all good.

Brandon:  But— but it's times two.

Julia:  It's okay.

Amanda:  It's just Bush.

Julia:  Just the bush. 

Eric:  Just the bush.

Brandon: It fell down, but I did get a 10, motherfucker. 

Julia:  Fuck yeah!

Amanda:  Oh!

Brandon:  So that's 10 plus Dex is 2, so 12 times 2 is 24 points. 

Julia:  Brandon should roll his dice on the floor more often. 

Amanda:  Hell yeah, dude.

Eric:  Great.

Amanda:  Brandon, drop your dice on the floor every time. 

Eric:  Yeah, dro— yeah.

Amanda: Every time.

Eric:  Drop— yeah, drop your dice every time. Yeah, dude—

Brandon:  Hey, Eric, does— does your bush your hold up to my 24 damage?

Eric:  Like, my bush— the— the— the maze, no. Does—

Julia:  Can he— you can't just ask someone if their bush holds up to the damage?

Eric:  Yeah, Brandon, stop asking about my bush. Hey, man, yeah, the— the hedge that has been worn away by the boiling water that has been next to for millennia, in fact, does not hold up to the bomb that's been thrown in the middle. In fact, it creates a perfect circle.

Amanda:  Yay!

Eric:  Just right— just like cookie-cutter punched right through the middle of this hedge.

Brandon:  So if I may narrate what happens? I believe that Umbi sees Cammie get this pumpkin fucking growl shoved in her face.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  And sort of almost an instinct, he sort of grabs two— because I'm also gonna do a bonus action here.

Eric:  Oh.

Brandon:  He grabs two bombs, two spheres from his belt, and then sort of anime style, like does a turn like a tornado and, like, whips one—

Amanda:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brandon:  —at Eric's bush, and whips another one—

Amanda:  Yes.

Julia:  Stop it.

Brandon:  —whips another one at— as a bonus action at the Harvester, which I'm going to throw a flash bang. I don't think it'll do much—

Amanda:  Ooh.

Brandon:  —but why not?

Julia:  Why not?

Eric:  Sure. Yeah. Why not?

Amanda:  Let's do it.

Eric:  You got— you got moves.

Brandon:  So you can't take reactions until the start of your next turn. 

Eric:  Fair. Hey— hey, fair.

Amanda:  Good.

Eric:  Fair. 

Amanda:  Worth it.

Eric:  Yeah, that's fine. Wonderful. It is now all the way down to the zero initiative point, that's— that's Cammie. Cammie, what are you doing?

Brandon:  Brutal.

Eric:  Anyone can still use Havana's help action if you need it.

Julia:  Do I want to do this one or this one? It's really more of a flavor thing than anything, but this can be fun. Cammie is going to look at the Harvester. I don't have to disengage if I want to take a couple steps back, right?

Eric:  No, no.

Julia:  Great. I think Cammie is going to look at this thing and be like—

Julia (as Cammie): You know what? I don't think I like you very much.

Eric:  The sound of plant fibers ripping apart.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Screamed in your face.

Julia:  Cammie's gonna take like 20 feet of movement to get away from— I'll— I'll do my full move. I'm gonna take like 30 feet now.

Eric:  Oh, well, no, actually, it doesn't matter because the Harvester can't make reactions anyway.

Brandon:  That's true, motherfucker.

Eric:  So just do it. Yeah, so just do it, just— just walk away. 

Julia:  Alright, cool.  Yeah. So Cammie's gonna take her full movement, take 30 feet back.

Eric:  Yeah. And the Har—the Harvester— its— the weird eye slits are— are blinded by the flash bang, so I can't make a opportunity attack against you anyway.

Julia (as Cammie): Very rude. Being very, very rude. 

Julia:  And Cammie's going to open the lid of her teapot and a wave of smoke is going to wash over them.

Eric:  Hmm.

Julia:  And when the smoke clears, Cammie's no longer standing there. 

Amanda:  Oh.

Julia:  But instead a giant mangrove mammoth is standing there instead. 

Brandon:  Yeees!

Amanda:  Whoa.

Eric:  What?

Julia:  Because baby's polymorphing.

Eric:  You have what—

Brandon:  Oh, baby polymorphing.

Amanda:  Oh.

Eric:  You have polymorph?

Julia:  Fourth level spell polymorph.

Eric:  Oh, my God.

Amanda:  Oh, my God.

Brandon:  Fuck yes.

Eric:  So, is this a mangrove in the shape of a woolly mammoth? 

Amanda:  Yes. 

Eric:  Okay. Cool. Yeah, yeah.

Amanda:  I love it.

Eric:  Yeah, man. The mangrove, for those of you don't know, are those weird trees in the bayou that just, like, go every which way.

Julia:  With lots of roots, just like [groans]

Brandon:  The roots are like halfway above ground, yeah.

Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Damn, dude.

Eric:  Incredible.

Amanda:  What a spell to conceal for the last several, several hours of playtime.

Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  Now, was the mangrove woolly mammoth a creature in Verda Stello that is ancient and, like, was pre-history?

Julia:  Who can say?

Eric:  That's a good question.

Julia:  That's a question for the Afterparty, I think.

Eric:  Yeah. That's a good question. That's a good question. Hey, sounds— sounds cool. Yeah, cool and good. 

Julia:  Cool. 

Eric:  Hell yeah. So you just want to be mammoth now?

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  Cool. 

Julia:  And that's my action. I can't do any mammoth things right now, but I'll wait 'till my next turn.

Brandon:  That's fair.

Amanda:  Damn, dude.

Brandon:  Can you do a big growl?

Julia: I can do a big growl. I think I trump it into the air. [growls]

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  Hell yeah. Okay, cool. We got a mammoth now. That sounds great. Troy, it's your turn. All the way back to the beginning initiative.

Amanda:  Troy's eyes are as wide as they could possibly be, looking at Cammie, and saying—

Amanda (as Troy): Was all— was all that inside you before?

Julia:  Because I can't talk while I'm a mammoth.

Amanda:  And he's gonna look back at the Harvester and say—

Amanda (as Troy): Havana, I— I need a steady hand. Help me out here, bud.

Amanda:  And I'm gonna have Havana kneel down. Troy's gonna brace his elbow on top of Havana's head—

Brandon:  Yes.

Amanda: —and then shoot his last remaining arrow at the Harvester.

Eric:  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Havana's got a spot for you, and you could use the help action. So, yeah, you get to roll with advantage.

Amanda:  Well, I need it, because the first roll was a 6. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's a 16 plus 4 for a Dirty 20.

Brandon:  Oh, yeah.

Eric:  That hits my friend.

Amanda:  Incredible. So let me roll damage.

Eric:  Yeah, please. 

Amanda:  Oh, that's an 8. 8 piercing damage. 

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  Nice.

Julia:  Sick. 

Amanda:  And that was my last arrow, but I am going to use my second to last risk die to cow the creature. This is covering fire. And when I hit a creature, I can expend a risk die as a bonus action to cow the creature. I roll and subtract it from the next attack roll the creature makes before the start of my next turn.

Eric:  Good to know.

Brandon:  Now, if someone were a big, old dummy, and wasn't 100% sure what the variable cow meant.

Amanda:  It means to scare them, make them like deferential to you. And I did roll an 8, so, Eric, you have to subtract 8 from the next attack roll that the creature makes before the start of my next turn. 

Eric:  Sure. Okay. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. Cool. Yeah, what do you— what is the— what is this scaring, this covering fire shot? What does it look like?

Amanda:  I think that Troy simply lets out a primal scream, letting all of his fury and worry and anxiety. He's never seen a creature get cut in half and start sprouting a new butt before. A lots been happening to Troy in the last 30 seconds. So he's just going to scream with rage, and then I think Havana starts screaming also because he's not sure what's happening.

Eric (as Havana): [screams]

Amanda:  As we—

Eric:  What does Troy— what does Troy sound like?

Brandon:  Yeah. What does it sound like again?

Eric:  What does— yeah, what does—

Amanda (as Troy): [screams]

Eric (as Havana): [screams]

Eric (as Gloria): [screams]

Eric:  That was Gloria. Gloria is intense. 

Amanda:  Incredible. As we hit the creature, but I do have two attacks, so for whatever it's worth, I'm gonna throw a dagger too. Why not?

Eric:  Okay.

Brandon:  Yeah.

Julia:  Why not?

Amanda:  Alright. That's a 4 plus 4 for an 8 to hit.

Eric:  Unless you shoot him and then you're like, "Heh."

Amanda:  And then I throw it and I'm, "Heh." And then it falls to the ground. 

Julia:  Oh, poor Troy.

Eric:  Sure. You still have your movement. Are you gonna go towards the big hole?

Amanda:  Yeah. So after all that, I'm gonna scoop Gloria up right over towards the hole.

Eric:  Great. Gloria is incredibly light as being only half a person at the moment, so you can—

Amanda:  Yes.

Eric:  —just grab—you can grab Gloria.

Amanda:  You know, the puppy is in my shirt, I'm gonna grab both halves of Gloria, just in case she needs them. I don't know. I don't know. So I'm just gonna grab both halves.

Eric:  Sure. No, that's fine.

Amanda:  And be like—

Amanda (as Troy): I'm— I'm dropping off the precious cargo, okay, guys?

Eric:  Alright. It's a 20, and now things are starting to grow again. The hedges behind you are now incredibly narrow. The entrances, you cannot exit through any other way other than the big hole that you pun— that you punched through. The hedges in the labyrinth are ove— are growing and growing, and you really have to squeeze through if you wanted to get through.

Julia:  Yeah.

Brandon:  It's a trash compactor situation.

Julia:  They're kicking us out. 

Eric:  Yeah. And also the grass underneath you is really starting to reach up, maybe yes to the ankles of a mangrove mammoth, but it's really starting to get up to your calves and knees, where everyone else who's— who's Greenfolk size.

Brandon (as Umbi): I don't like it. Get off, get off, get off. 

Julia:  You could always climb up onto— onto Cammie if you need.

Brandon:  Now, do you think the whole live person in the bush is large enough for the woolly mammoth to go through?

Amanda:  I think he's got— what's the radius of the mammoth? It's gotta be like 15 feet, right?

Brandon:  15 feet, yeah.

Julia:  I'm just looking something up real quick.

Brandon:  I— I think a wooly mammoth can probably just jump over that motherfucker, you know?

Julia:  Apparently, it's 15 by 15, a wooly mammoth.

Amanda:  There you go. Perfect.

Eric:  I would also say the perfect circle that Umbi punched in the hedge, it is now starting to grow and fill in a little—

Julia:  But slower, right?

Brandon:  Hmm.

Eric:  Slow— it's slow—

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —but it certainly is—

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —going to fill in. It is now Gloria's turn and Gloria goes—

Eric (as Gloria): Hiyah! 

Eric:  And tells—

Eric (as Gloria): Troy, my sweet boy, go faster.

Amanda (as Troy): Okay.

Eric:  It is now the Ha—

Amanda:  Can she— can she help me on my next turn?

Eric: Sure. Yeah, Gloria can help you on your next turn. 

Amanda:  Okay.

Eric:  Yeah, for sure. It's now the Harvester's turn. The Harvester is going to move— no, fuck that. The Harvester—

Amanda:  Fuck that.

Eric:  The Harvester has a mangrove mammoth in front of him. The Harvester's distracted, looking towards Troy and Havana and Gloria who is charging towards the hole, which is why he's a little distracted, but really the mammoth needs to be taken down. So what do I do? I apply the 8 to everything or just 1?

Amanda:  You subtract 8 from your next attack roll.

Eric:  I subtract 8 from my next attack roll.

Julia:  Nice.

Eric:  I'm gonna attack the mammoth three times.

Julia:  Three times.

Eric:  Three times.

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  Well, at first time I got a three, so it wouldn't—

Julia:  So a negative 5?

Eric:  No, I got an 11 minus 8.

Julia:  Oh, okay.

Eric:  Plus 8, y'all. I got like a bunch of stuff that turned it into a 3. [dice roll] No, that's not gonna do— what's your AC?

Julia:  13.

Eric:  13. I only beat your AC once, which will be 17 point of scythe damage, my friend. 

Brandon:  Yikes.

Julia:  Okay. I still have over a 100 hit points.

Eric:  Yeah, I think—

Brandon:  Oh, okay.

Eric:  Just— just try to— with one eye on— on the— on the escaping folks and another— but another eye on the mammoth. Just try to slice at it as much as possible with its massive scythe. And of course, I only— you're trying to cut down a mangrove tree with—

Julia:  With a scythe.

Eric:  —with a scythe. What are you gonna do?

Amanda (as Troy): There's more roots where that came from, bitch.

Eric:  Incredible. Alright, folks, it is now Havana's turn. Havana is going to scamper down.

Julia:  I love when Havana scampers. 

Eric:  Havana is going to scamper down kinda— you gotta go around the labyrinth, So it's like Havana is going to scamper like on the si— like, you got to make kind of like a narrow walk on the side of the labyrinth and hops down and runs direct towards the Sea Whip.

Eric (as Havana): Harold, Sil, come on. We're going, we're going. Hot exit, hot exit. 

Eric:  Havana is undoing the ropes, grabbing the anchor and the— and the Sea Whip is going, is moving.

Julia:  Gotcha. 

Amanda:  Hell yeah. Great.

Eric:  Hell yeah. It is now Umbi's turn.

Brandon:  So Umbi is going to attempt to throw a smoke bomb at the Harvester, which would, if it hits, make the area heavily obscured and lasts for three rounds.

Eric:  Hmm.

Julia:  Nice.

Eric:  Sounds good. 

Amanda:  If Troy threw that bomb, it will last for zero rounds.

Julia:  Oh, cute.

Brandon:  Well, it's a minimum of one, so you get one.

Julia:  Everyone gets one. Doesn't matter how dumb they be.

Brandon:  Eric, does a 22 work?

Eric: Yeah, that's— that's fine.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Julia:  That's pretty solid, actually.

Brandon:  Great, great, great, great, great, great, great. 

Eric:  It's so—it's so funny how— the Harvester is like up in the face of this mammoth, has moved— has moved forward to engage the mammoth in melee combat and then there's like, "Boop." Smoke— there's smoke everywhere.

Brandon:  Now, I can't throw another one for one minute and it only lasts for three turns, so keep that in mind, players.

Julia:  Okay.

Brandon: But currently, the Harvester is blinded, which means that it will automatically fail any ability check that requires sight and attack rolls against a creature have advantage and the creatures attack rolls have disadvantage. I would also like to—

Julia:  Wee.

Brandon:  —use all my movement to run towards the hole.

Eric:  That's fine. That you're running towards the hole. You can see that the Sea Whip is coming over to pick you up on the side of the labyrinth. It's now— it's our good friend Cammie's turn who is now a mammoth. Interesting. 

Julia:  Cool.

Eric:  Cool.

Julia:  I'm gonna back up 20 feet because it's right in my face, right?

Eric:  Yeah, it's in— it moved forward to engage you, yeah.

Julia:  Cool. I'm gonna back up 20 feet. 

Eric:  Okay.

Julia:  And then I would like to move 20 feet towards it and use trampling charge.

Eric:  You— you got 40 feet of movement?

Julia:  Yes, I do.

Brandon:  I love—

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  If the mammoth moves at least 20 feet straight towards a creature and then hits it with a gore attack on the same turn, that target must exceed a DC 18 Strength Saving Throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the mammoth can make one stump attack against it as a bonus action.

Amanda:  This is sick as hell.

Julia:  So I'm gonna make the attack.

Brandon: You get advantage as well.

Julia:  Excellent. What's what I like to hear.

Eric:  Why do you get advantage?

Brandon:  Smoke, baby.

Eric:  Oh, 'cause of the smoke bomb, right? Oh, my God.

Amanda:  Smoke bomb.

Brandon:  Although, actually, Eric, I don't know, because if— if the Mammoth is running into the smoke as well, they would also be blinded.

Eric:  That would cancel out— the— I was going to give advantage anyway. We— I'm gonna give advantage anyway so it doesn't matter.

Julia:  So I rolled a 16 and a 14, so it's a 26 to hit?

Eric:  Yeah, that hits, you absolute piece of nonsense.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:   And second of all, I'm giving myself disadvantaged because everyone knows the Harvester has a terrible center of gravity and he can be pushed over very easily especially by a mammoth.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Julia: I'm also going to roll my damage on that for piercing damage.

Eric:  Yeah, please do. 

Julia:  Alright. [dice roll] 4— 4 plus 3 is 7. 7 [dice roll] 7 plus 4 is 11.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  [dice roll] 11 plus 2 is 13, so that is 20 piercing damage on the gore attack.

Eric:  Cool, cool, cool, cool.

Brandon:  That's a lot of damage.

Eric:  Alright, I'm gonna do this Strength Saving Throw with disadvantage.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  And I already used my legendary save, so I can't use that.

Amanda:  Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Julia:  Good job, pass to me.

Eric:  What am I looking for?

Julia:  An 18.

Eric:  I got a 17, you absolute--

Amanda:  Oh, no.

Brandon:  Harvest this, motherfucker.

Julia:  You're gonna take 4D10 plus 7 bludgeoning damage.

Brandon:  That's a lot.

Julia:  [dice roll] 10, [dice roll] 8, [dice roll] 18.

Brandon:  Oh, God. 

Julia:  20, [dice roll] 25 plus 7 is 32 bludgeoning damage. 

Eric:  Okay.

Julia:  And it's prone.

Eric:  Okay. 

Brandon:  How does the Harvester feel about that, Eric?

Julia:  Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp.

Eric:  Stomp, stomp, stomp. That's how—that's how it feels. That's how it feels. Well, especially, because the Harvester moved out of position to come engage you, the regular exit to the Labyrinth is wide open, wide open, and you can just run on through if you'd like.

Julia:  I will probably do that my next turn.

Eric:  No, you can do right now. You can do it right now.

Julia:  I can do it right now?

Eric:  You're— you're speeding, my friends. Everyone is on its way out. You could hit the X button and go to the next scene.

Amanda:  Alright.

Julia:  Mangrove mammoth version of Cammie. Ooh, the Cammoth. 

Eric:  Cammoth!

Julia:  The Cammoth is going to triumphantly trumpet and charge towards the Sea Whip.

Brandon:  Love it.

Eric:  Incredible. Hell yeah.

Brandon:  Now, I will caution don't get on the boat as a mammoth. 

Julia:  Bitch, I'll do what I want. I also have an intelligence score of 3 right now, so I might not think about that.

Eric:  What up? What up, fam? Let's get on the boat. Alright folks, let's— the boat is getting ready to go. Is everyone hopping on the boat?

Julia:  Yeah.

Amanda:  100%.

Eric:  Come on.  We're going, move it, move it, move it. We're not stopping. We're— hey, folks, we're not stopping, this train is leaving the station.

Julia:  Mammoth version of Cammie half clambers onto the boat and then goes [deep and rumbling noise] and then goes [deep and rumbling noise] and then drops concentration.

Brandon: Yeah. And Umbi just— as he gets close to it, just tosses a quick teleportation bomb up there and—

Eric:  Yeah.

Brandon:  —lands up on the ship.

Eric:  Yeah. Ha— Harold is like—

Eric (as Harold): You're not getting out of this boat as a mammoth, you're not, you're not.

Eric:  And Sil was like—

Eric (as Sil):  Is this normal? Do people— do people do this like—

Eric (as Harold): Whatever. It's— what does normal mean? There is no normal. There's no normal. Sil, you got to know there is no normal. Do not expect any normal. It's not happening.

Amanda (as Troy): Precious cargo!

Amanda:  And Troy—Troy gi—the most gingerly, carefully he has ever stepped onto anything, steps onto the boat, holding Gloria's head in his left arm, Gloria's butt in his right arm, and the puppy in his shirt in the middle.

Brandon:  Beautiful.

Julia:  And Havana is behind him, hopefully.

Amanda:  Havana's already on the boat.

Eric:  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Havana is like tie— is throwing the last rope on and like jumps out of the boat and clambers up.

Amanda (as Troy): Havana, you're doing great.

Eric (as Havana): It wasn't— great.

Julia:  Great.

Eric:  And Harold says—

Eric (as Harold): What— what did you even find in there? What was— what was the whole point of this?

Amanda (as Troy): Got the key for a maze, bud.

Julia (as Cammie): We got one of the keys. Key for a maze.

Brandon (as Umbi): The maze maze key.

Julia (as Cammie): I was a mammoth.

Eric (as Harold): Who would have thou— it's real, who would have thought?

Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.

Brandon (as Umbi): Did you not believe in our mission the whole time? 

Eric (as Harold): I— lots of people say lots of things. 

Brandon (as Umbi): We can discuss this later.

Julia (as Cammie): Harold's been here for a long time, but a good time.

Eric (as Harold): I'm here for both a long time and a good time.

Brandon (as Umbi): We could discuss this later. We should go— we should go quickly. 

Eric:  Yeah. Havana is standing at the back of the boat, looking back at the labyrinth, and says—

Eric (as Havana):  Oh, guys, you're gonna want to see this. 

Eric:  As the ship is speeding away getting farther and farther in the distance, you see that the Harvester has pulled itself up and is running with, like, all fours with roots like a giant mountain cat. 

Brandon (as Umbi): No!

Eric:  Just running and running, and then takes a big jump, and turns itself into— like kind of a makeshift sailboat with the roots turning into the bottom riding on the sea, it's the rest of its roots into a makeshift sail, and its face as the figurehead charging after you. My friends, you might have thought, "I had the glove the whole time, motherfucker."

Amanda (as Troy): Nooo!

Julia (as Cammie): Nooo!

Eric:  Go ge— hey, get your shift combat cards, folks. We're playing rock, paper, scissors.

Brandon:  Woo!

[theme]

Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. It is one of my very favorite times of year where places and streets and shops and houses all over the country and the world put up lights to help us get through this time of darkness, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. And every single time I see it, I see the lights going across the street that I live on, in all of the, you know, shop windows, it brings me a little bit of a smile, which I really need when it is 4:00, checks watch, 30 PM and fully dark outside. So it's Amanda, welcome to the mid-roll. Oh, they twinkle. Thank you, and welcome to our newest patrons, Alec Foxglove, Matt, Debbie and Christina. We can only make the show with all of the time, love, and energy that we put into it because you support us. And I haven't on good conscience, which is that we recorded it very recently, that you have some hot fire coming your way this December just for patrons. So join us at patreon.com/jointhepartypod, you won't regret it. This week at Multitude, we have been enjoying the hell out of Big Game Hunger. Our newest member show, a weekly comedy podcast where Jenna Stoeber and friends craft the next big video game in every single episode. They start with a randomly generated genre, concept, and vibe, and then Jenna and her variety of incredibly funny game-obsessed guests take these ideas so far that by the end of it people are like, "Okay, but wait, can I— can I buy that game?" And it is the highest compliment that I can think of. Jenna is incredible, it's been so much fun welcoming her to the Multitude family. And you should check out Big Game Hunger. Get ready to laugh about the games you love, learn about game trends, and yearn for titles that will surely never make their release date. Look up Big Game Hunger in your podcast app now, or go to biggamehunger.com. New episodes every Monday. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This is a chaotic time of year, a heavy time of year. And very infrequently in life can you sort of see your, you know, relationship with various family members, maybe your family of origin, maybe the culture you were raised in, brought up in such a, like, on the nose sort of way as like the material gifts that you give and get at this time of year. It's a lot, and I know that I am definitely talking about and unpacking a lot of those moments in therapy with my therapist. And whether you're interested in starting therapy, or you kind of need a solution in between other therapeutic outlets that you have access to, or you're just kind of curious and want to give it a try, BetterHelp is a really great tool to know about, especially if you can't access therapy safely or affordably where you are. It's entirely online and designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. So in this season of giving, give yourself what you need with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored this week by Uncommon Goods. We just had our friend gift exchanged a couple days ago as of when I'm recording this. And I got my friend Nora, who I have a lot in common with, she's very witchy, she loves Tarot. She loves mythology, but also a University of Michigan college football. And so Eric helped me find her a lovely gift on Uncommon Goods, where it was like a 3D printed model of the Michigan Football Stadium, which she loves and calls The Big House? I think so, on a candle. So even after she burns a candle, she could, like, reuse it and have that as you know, a little like jar for her trinkets. And she was so touched. And then she saw the box and she goes, "You know what? Their goods are uncommon." And I completely agree. Whether you're looking for someone who might be difficult to buy for and they have excellent, like, curated mixes of gifts, or just something that you're not going to accidentally, like, gift to— to people, or like they'll get you the same gifts and you give it to them. I've seen the same, like, stuff from, you know, big box stores in lots of gift exchanges by now. Uncommon Goods truly is different. They're very, very good. I have gotten some incredible stuff from them. And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give $1 back to a nonprofit partner of your choice. So to get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/holidaypod and subscribe. That's uncommongoods.com/holidaypod, enter your email, and you'll receive 15% off. Don't miss out on their limited time offer, Uncommon Goods, "We're all out of the ordinary." And finally, we are sponsored by Microdose. Now, I've been using Microdose brand gummies to fall asleep most nights recently, and they have been an absolute game changer for my sleep. I've talked about this on the show before. I don't have trouble falling asleep, but I do have trouble staying asleep. I try everything, I have good sleep hygiene. I'm like hydrated, but not too hydrated. I try to, like, exercise, you know, during the day, et cetera. But sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night and I can't shut my brain off or go back to sleep no matter what I do or try. And if it's like 2:00 in the morning, hey, that sucks. But that is not a problem when I take Microdose gummies, which I really and truly appreciate. It has been a genuine game changer for me. They have a Balanced-Spectrum TM hemp extract, formulated to deliver the classic effects and benefits of THC in balance with CBD, CBG, and other ingredients that you can actually learn more about. It's very interesting on microdose.com. There are also gummies that are made with high-quality organic ingredients, they're vegan, gluten-free, and infused with Oregon grown berries, specifically strawberries, blueberries, and marion berries. You don't see those represented very often in the gummy market. To learn more about Microdose and THC, go to microdose.com and use code Join the Party to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Again, it's microdose.com, the code is Join the Party. microdose.com, code Join the Party for 30% off. And now, back to the show.

[theme]

Amanda:  I got him.

Julia:  I was like, "That was really easy. He said I could just go."

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  I don't know.

Amanda:  He's like, "Just go." Hmm never, never.

Julia:  Alright. Alright. Fine.

Eric:  Alright. We are now in ship combat. As a reminder of how we play, we're gonna play rock, paper, scissors using some special PC abilities, if you'd like to use them. Whoever wins is going to decide what happens, as we're each going to call it before we play rock, paper, scissors. And if we tie, it's going to be a mixed success for the players, but one consequence is going to happen. Remember, I have special moves as well as the Harvester chasing after you, but all of the players do as well. Gloria's currently re-growing and Havana has no powers at the moment. So it's just—

Julia:  Sure.

Eric:  —the three of you as before. So the first thing I'm going to do is lay down my rock paper, scissors card and make my choice. If anyone wants to use a special ability, they may. But if not, let's pick someone to play rock, paper, scissors against me and tell me what you want to do.

Julia:  I think— if everyone doesn't mind me going first, is that okay?

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  I think what Cammie is going to do in order to— oh, I forget the— I'm trying to remember the rules of rock, paper, scissors. Can I, like, do an action but it's not going to, like, fuck with the movement of the ship, right?

Eric:  The default action is manning the ship, doing your thing. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  Umbi's on the cannon, Troy is driving, and Cammie's doing navigation.

Julia:  Navigation. Okay.

Eric:  If you do something else that is not that, you— and that's not your job, it will make the boat vulnerable because everyone's not doing their job. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  However, let's assume— now that we're doing this the second time, doing a special action is not this. You can do a special move, whatever. Assume that if you do anything— if you want to do something otherwise, you are not manning your station. 

Julia:  Gotcha. Okay. Then Cammie's going to pull out the compass that they had gotten from Drooz.

Eric:  Oh, yeah.

Julia:  And is going to be like—

Julia (as Cammie): How do we get out of here?

Eric (as Compass): Hey, yeah. Well, it seems that you got to figure it out on your own, unless you got a map for me to read.

Julia:  Can I use the map that we had that got us here? Can we reverse engineer here?

Amanda:  Boiling Reef, yeah.

Eric (as Compass): Oh, just turn it upside down for me. 

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. I figured you would be able to do that yourself.

Eric (as Compass): Seems like you're saying a lot of shit to someone who has a magic compass.  

Julia (as Cammie): I didn't think that you had much of a personality, but I really like your dancing.

Brandon:  I do— I love that the Compass now says, "Hyuck."

Amanda:  "Hyuck." It's developing a personality.

Julia:  I'm ready. 

Eric:  Incredible. Does anyone use a special move before we pull? Just to remember, so Harold is defensive, so he— he— he can rebuff something on a rock.

Amanda:  Uh-huh.

Eric:  —Troy can try to shoot a card out of someone's hand if he shoots with his advantage.

Amanda:  Okay.

Eric:  Umbi can double down. If you play scissors, then you get an extra bonus if you win. And Cammie, you can roll— you can do tasseography. If you roll a D20, you can try to say— get me to admit. If I do it, if you're on 19 or a 20, I will tell you the truth of what card I have.

Julia:  Okay.

Brandon:  Amanda, remember if we use hours in combination, it's extra special.

Julia:  An auto win, basically.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Yeah. So it— does anyone want to do any special moves?

Julia:  I don't think so, not this round. 

Eric:  Okay, great. What is the crew— what— what does the ship want to do?

Julia:  I think navigate their way out of this area as best as possible using Cammie's navigation.

Eric:  Just make it happen.

Amanda:  Yeah. Ideally, like—

Julia:  Yeah.

Amanda:  —you know, cut it close to an obstacle so that the Harvester, which doesn't know our path, runs into an obstacle, you know what I mean?

Brandon:  Yeah, yeah.

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah.

Amanda:  Like, people are like fainting at the last minute. 

Eric:  Cool. Absolutely. 

Julia:  Yeah. Like, hey— like running straight and all of a sudden dive to the left— 

Eric:  Yeah, I was— I was--

Julia:  —of the situation.

Brandon:  A water juke, you know?

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  The old— the old water juke. Alright. Cool. Here we go, on shoot, alright? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. 

Julia:  Scissors!

Eric:  Scissors! 

Julia:  Tie.

Eric:  That's a tie, that's a tie. Do you want to make some distance, yeah?

Julia:  We want to make some distance and we— as Amanda said, if we can put a obstacle between us and the Harvester, that would be ideal. 

Eric:  Yeah, sure, I think that the compass says—

Eric (as Compass): Hey, yeah, we're going right into the Boiling Reef.

Julia:  When did it become goofy?

Brandon:  Today? Right now?

Julia:  Yeah, right now.

Eric:  You take a hard left past the coral reef, and you hear [steams] and the boiling geysers are shooting up, trying to block the Harvester's path. The Harvester in— in return is going to do the— one harm to the ship, because you have Sil, you have four harm to begin with, now you're down to three.

Julia:  Gotcha.

Brandon:  Tight. I forgot that we have an extra one.

Eric:  You are now taken down by one as the Harvester slashes into the ship, trying to, like, smack the back of it, so it does like a pit maneuver. Like, the police trying to get you to, like, fishtail into—

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —some boiling geysers, but that's not gonna happen. 

Brandon:  You see Umbi in that because he's in the butt cannon right now—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  —because they're going forward and you see Umbi. You know, like when— in a movie when something like slashes out at you and you instinctively dodge out of the way, even though you're not gonna get hit?

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  It's like, "Ahhh!"

Eric:  Ahhh! And then— and then you're just like spun to the left, yeah. Incredible. Alright, folks, it is now round dos. Who's going to do rock, paper, scissors?

Amanda:  Well, because we just got hit and it's not a huge deal if I let the wheel go for a minute, I'm gonna go ahead and use my sharpshooter ability.

Eric:  Alright, let's use your sharpshooter.

Brandon:  Yeah. Let's also double down there, Eric.

Eric:  Okay.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm. So do I roll a regular attack roll?

Eric:  You're gonna roll a regular Disadvantaged Attack Roll because you're shooting long range, unless do you have something that—

Amanda:  I have one risk die left and I can, in fact, use steady aim to double the normal and maximum range for my next range weapon.

Brandon:  Very nice.

Eric:  There you go. Okay. So then you don't have disadvantage. I just need you to hit the Harvester I see, which is rather high.

Amanda:  Yeah, it's a 17 to hit. 13 plus 4.

Julia:  I think you're good.

Brandon:  Tie goes to the runner.

Eric:  Sorry, the— I had to— my scissors card is now pinned up against the side. So— so it's pinned up against the window of the studio, so I can't use it.

Brandon:  Amanda, you must play paper, but you were going to anyway.

Eric:  Alright.

Amanda:  Right.

Eric:  We're going to do the double down? 

Brandon:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah, we're gonna double down. Yeah, what does that— what does this look like?

Brandon:  I think it looks like maybe Umbi shoots out a special cannonball that has like some kind of, like, loop or something attached to it, that then Troy can shoot an arrow towards and sort of, like, dragging along towards the direction, you know?

Eric:  Oh, I like that. Yeah. I like a cannonball with a lasso on the end. That's kinda tight.

Brandon:  Yeah, yeah.

Amanda:  Right. 

Eric:  Hey, One Piece, fucking get on it, my friends. Alright, because I know you're using paper, what I'm going to do is I'm going to randomize my other two cards, and I'm just going to pull whatever.

Brandon:  Cool.

Eric:  Okay?

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Brandon, you want to do it because it was your move or it doesn’t matter?

Brandon:  No, I want you to do it. 

Amanda:  Right. 

Eric:  Okay.

Brandon:  It's your move. 50/50 chance, baby.

Julia:  I gotta expand the screen so I can see what Amanda's card is.

Eric:  Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Amanda:  Paper.

Eric:  Paper. Oh, it's a tie. Oh.

Julia:  Paper. Ooh.

Eric:  It's a tie, okay.

Brandon:  It's a 16, though, so—

Julia:  We do 16, we just take more damage.

Brandon:  The Harvester takes a— takes a hit, too.

Eric:  That's true. The double down doesn't work unfortunately, as the Harvester weirdly squeezes its entire body through the loop of the lasso cannonball, and hops through. However, it is a tie, so you get a— you get another mixed success.

Brandon:  And it's the first time we're trying this move, you know? Sometimes it doesn't work, it takes practice.

Amanda:  It's okay, it's okay.

Julia:  Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Another mixes success. Yeah. What do you want to do? You want to just keep trying to make distance? 

Brandon:  No, I want to hit— I want to hit the motherfucker with a cannonball.

Julia:  Yeah, Brandon is shooting.

Eric:  Oh, you were trying to hit— you were trying to hit the canon ball? Okay.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  So, yeah. So, yeah, you just— yeah, you shoot the Harvester with the cannonball. It's spending so much time hopping through the lasso that it just gets regular hit with a cannon— regular hit with a cannonball and slow down. But instead— yeah, I'm going to say your opponent quickly recovers and the Harvester remains on— remains on your tail. Although, a kind of like just— in my head, this is like Venom as you've seen—

Brandon:  Hmm.

Eric:  —Venom moving, especially in Spider-Man 2 in the new movies, how it can, like, scooch down and do its weird stuff, and then continues to like twist around it. So I think it like gets hit with the cannonball, twists around it, and then regain speed.

Brandon:  Cool. 

Amanda:  Hell yeah, dude.

Brandon:  If he wasn't such a dick, I would be his friend.

Eric:  You know you could. You would just be playing Cammie instead.

Julia:  I wonder if there's a way that we can manipulate him into going into one of the geysers, because we have a— a map and you know, a navigator, but he does not.

Brandon:  Oh, well, you know what we could do, Julia.

Julia:  What's that?

Brandon:  We all three have shape water, all four of us, I think. 

Amanda:  That's true. 

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  We could shape a geyser and hit it right in the face.

Julia:  Or, yeah, we could direct a geyser and direct it straight at him.

Amanda:  That's a great idea.

Eric:  Yeah. You could pull— yeah, you could pull in like a coral cul-de-sac and try to do that.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  I would like to try that. I think that would be fun.

Amanda:  I would love that.

Eric:  Sure. I kind of love that. It's like another one of the sandbars that we saw in the previous arc that you kind of pull up on a sandbar where, like, you can see, like, the water is starting to bubble—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —underneath you as a steam, the jets that are popping up. And the compass says—

Eric (as Compass): Hey, yeah, watch out, geyser ahead.

Eric:  And as you pull the boat over, you're ready to shoot this right in the— right in— right in the face. 

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  Right in their— right in— right in their stupid face.

Julia:  You know what, Eric? Before we do that, I'd like to use my tasseography.

Eric:  Lovely. A perfect time to just look in the old ball and see how it's doing. Let's check out the old teapot.

Julia:  Roll a D 20, right?

Eric:  Yup.

Amanda (as Troy): Was the Mammoth in there, or was it in you? I'm— I'm so confused.

Julia:  And her little tentacles make a trunk. Oh, that's adorable, Eric. And also tell me what you're going to do because I rolled a 19.

Amanda:  Oh.

Eric:  Yeah, because you rolled a 19, I do need to tell you truthfully. Julia, my move as the Harvester, if the Harvester plays scissors twice or more throughout a ship combat, I can then make hard moves against you in ties. 

Julia:  Okay.

Brandon:  Hmm.

Eric:  As if I won anyway. Like, even if you tie—

Julia:  Damn.

Eric:  —I can make extra hard moves. It's not just mixed success moves. So it is advantageous for me to only play scissors. The only reason I wasn't allowed to play scissors last time is because Troy shot it out of my hand. 

Julia:  Gotcha.

Eric:  So I'm going to play scissors on this move.

Brandon:  Oh, shit.

Julia:  Okay. Brandon—

Eric:  The Harvester— it's called cutting strategy, is my move.

Julia:  Cool.

Amanda:  That's really good.

Brandon:  I love that.

Julia:  Brandon, I think it's your turn then, right?

Brandon:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah, I have to— I'm playing scissors, gotta play scissors. 

Julia:  Okay. 

Amanda:  Wow.

Julia:  Brandon, you know what to do. 

Brandon: Yup, I got to play paper, right? 

Julia:  Yeah, that's right.

Eric:  Yeah, do it. Yeah, do it. Hey, Brandon, we're playing European rock, paper, scissors. It's different, it's different. 

Julia:  It's reversed Uno. Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Okay, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. 

Brandon:  Rock.

Amanda:  Wow.

Julia:  Brandon.

Eric:  It's rock, baby.

Amanda:  That rocks smurshes those scissors.

Julia:  Smursh, smursh. Just like this geyser is going to smursh the Harvester.

Eric:  The Harvester.

Amanda:  Yup.

Brandon:  You know, have— are you guys feeling a little peckish? Maybe do you want some root soup? I think we can maybe—

Julia:  Ooh, soup.

Amanda:  That's delicious.

Brandon:  —boil this pumpkin seed, make a nice soup.

Julia:  That's potato, baby.

Amanda:  That smells roasty.

Eric:  Yeah. I like this. You take out Dr. Radish Radish's original pamphlet, and then you do the moves for shaping water. I think the Harvester seeing that you are pulled over, is that almost like they're going back to the galloping towards you, as the Harvester opens its mouth wide and makes more of the pumpkin smashing noise and it jumps towards the Sea Whip. And then the geyser goes [explosion] and it goes right into the Harvester's face. Absolutely boiling it.

Brandon:  I think— tell me if I'm wrong, players, but I believe we do some Tai Chi moves, right? And the last move was we all go zoom, double middle fingers.

Julia:  Yes.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  As the Harvester then, like, kind of— it's just like— I like that it's in, like, a diagonal, so it's still like— it's moving forward, then it gets hit and up. So it, like, goes up and maintain some of its momentum as it goes over, and over, and over itself and collapses. Like, overstretched almost, overstretched on the deck of the Sea Whip.

Amanda:  Oh.

Julia:  It landed on the deck of the Sea Whip?

Brandon:  It landed on our deck?

Eric:  It landed on the deck of the Sea Whip.

Amanda:  Uh—

Brandon:  Uh—

Julia:  Uh—

Eric:  We are out of rock, paper, scissors combat. You can put that away. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  But the Harvester is now kind of taking up the entire space and holding the scythe, is spread out on the deck of the Sea Whip.

Amanda:  Question, your boy's proficient in barrels, is one of those filled with salt down below?

Eric:  One of yours?

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  I would assume so.

Brandon:  Oh, we—

Amanda:  It's gotta be—

Brandon:  —we gotta cure food. 

Amanda:  —gotta be—

Brandon:  You gotta— you gotta cure that out.

Amanda:  —gotta be—

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  Where— where do you make all your pickles? 

Brandon:  Exactly.

Julia:  Yup. I mean, I was also going to ask how it was on the salt water of the Great Salt Sea, but that's—

Brandon:  Oh, it probably was painful, but—

Amanda:  Maybe it's painful.

Brandon:  —Julia, it was just living on pure angst and hate at that point. 

Amanda:  Yeah, yeah.

Brandon:  It's like a fucking Anakin move, you know?

Julia:  Troy, why don't you go and grab that while I cast scurry?

Amanda:  Yup.

Eric:  Damn it. Every time.

Amanda:  Yeah, Troy's gonna dash down the hatches and heft up the barrel of salt.

Julia:  And that scythe is gonna try to jump over the side of the boat.

Amanda:  Yay.

Eric:  Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, the scythe grows its weird millipede legs and go [makes undulating noise] it go, "Bloop." And then it go [explosion] as it jumps into the Boiling Reef.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Yeah, Troy will return hefting the barrel over his shoulder, and I think he's just gonna chuck it right at the Harvester's face.

Brandon:  Well, shouldn't we make a circle so he's trapped?

Eric:  I don't know. Amanda said the thing already.

Julia:  Amanda did say the thing, so—

Brandon:  I mean, to be fair, if he hits him in the face, then it would kind of come out in a circle radius, so—

Eric:  It would— it would just kind of like— this is the real Troy-Umbi move which is Umbi—Umbi's like, "Yeah, that'll work."

Amanda:  Exactly.

Eric:  Of Troy throwing an entire barrel of salt on the— on the Harvester.

Amanda:  Yup.

Julia:  Sure, why not? 

Amanda:  Yup. 

Eric:  Yeah, sure. I mean, like what— what do you want for me? The Harvester is gonna scream out in terrible pain. This is the sound of like a mechanical thresher moving its way through crops over and over, and screaming as it shrivels, and shrivels, and shrivels, and shrivels up. The roots are dried, desiccated, and weird. It— it looks so small without its scythe making it look big. And honestly, now, it's just like dead roots attached to a very, very clean, giant pumpkin seed.

Julia (as Cammie): I feel kind of bad. Does anyone else feel kind of bad after that? 

Brandon (as Umbi): Can we— can we take the pumpkin seed, do you think? Or cut off the roots and just take the pumpkin seed away?

Amanda (as Troy): You can't cut Gloria in half, I just met her, and she's my best friend now. Apart from you, all of you. Especially you, Havana.

Julia (as Cammie): Aw.

Eric (as Havana): Hey, I think— I don't— I feel like— I don't know if I should take a compliment, or feel touched, or if you're like going out of your way to be super nice to me. Like, I don't— I don't know. I can't take a compliment.

Amanda (as Troy): Well, we can work on that. I'm a dad now. 

Amanda:  And Troy— Troy unbuttons his shirt further and the puppy sticks his head out.

Amanda (as Troy): And I kind of feel like any threat to the life of my son, I'm— I'm okay with sort of eviscerating it, you know? But yeah, I feel kind of bad.

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, do you think we can learn anything from it first? Can it— can it talk? Does anyone have any talking abilities?

Julia (as Cammie): Talking abilities? I mean, we're speaking right now. 

Brandon (as Umbi): No, that's— you know— goddamnit, Cammie.

Julia (as Cammie): Don't you have a thing that, like, makes people tell the truth and also gives them mouths? 

Brandon (as Umbi): No. 

Julia (as Cammie): You don't? Weird.

Brandon:  Oh, it was— it was Truth Serum, yeah. But I don't have any reagent dice.

Eric:  I mean, unless maybe— unless maybe you have a potion that you left down in your—down in your cabin. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, maybe I have a potion left down in my cabin.

Julia:  Roll for potions.

Brandon:  Umbi's gonna run down to his quarters, and he's gonna look up at his DM Eric and say, "DM Eric, do I have a truth serum?"

Eric:  Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you're gonna have— you probably have a spare one in your cabin. If you gotta mo— you gotta remove your socks, though.

Brandon:  Oh, no. I have to remove my socks?

Eric:  Yeah, you gotta remove your socks.

Brandon:  They're really dirty. 

Eric:  I know. There's like five of them on the bottle. 

Julia:  Well, I guess we're not doing it, then.

Brandon:  I'm going to— with, like, fireplace tongs, just like move the socks off of the potion bottles. 

Amanda:  I see. I see.

Eric:  You're smart.

Brandon:  And grab the— grab the potion bottle, run up to the deck, and say—

Brandon (as Umbi): I did have a spare potion. 

Julia (as Cammie): Oh.

Brandon:  And then like a little baby weaning off his mother, he's going to give him a little drop into his pumpkinseed mouth.

Eric:  Yeah, li— little— little dry, yeah. The little drops falls in. You wait a moment, nothing happens. And then you see a little green chute come out of the pumpkin seed.

Julia (as Cammie): Aw.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh.

Eric:  It starts to grow and kind of unfurl. And then quickly at the end of the chute, something's starting to grow. And you see it's a little pumpkin. Little pumpkin at the end, and it has not a weird face on it, but it has kind of a— a kind face. It has a— an understanding face. You know, with deep-set eyes, and a long-sloped nose, and a wide kind of mouth that's currently making a deep sigh.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yo, why you're such a dick?

Julia (as Cammie): I'm sorry we had to hurt you, but you did kind of almost— you chopped several of my friends in half.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I'm not sorry.

Julia (as Cammie): I'm a little sorry.

Amanda (as Troy): My heart is much bigger because I’m a dad now.

Eric:  Yeah. The pupkin jumps out of your— your shirt and starts sniffing the pumpkin.

Amanda (as Troy): Stay back, boy.

Julia (as Cammie): What's your name? The Harvester seems so formal.

Eric (as Pumpkin): Unlike the rest of the Greenfolk. The Harvester does not have free will. You know he makes choices as given to him, as a denizen of the labyrinth. So when you're saying that he's a dick—

Julia (as Cammie): You ha— you have to have free will in order to be a dick.

Brandon:  That's true.

Eric (as Pumpkin): You don't know of what is dickishness.

Brandon:  That's true.

Eric (as Pumpkin): And where upon the dickishness grows. And just— you're— you're looking only at the flower. You're not looking at the roots and the stem.

Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm.

Eric (as Pumpkin): And what comes out of it— of it— and what comes out of it eventually in the flower. It only remains for spring.

Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm. So— so the maze is the dick, or the— or the planter's a dick, or what are we saying here?

Eric (as Pumpkin): Well, I think it's quite interesting. It's nice to know still that Greenfolk then— the deepest flaw of Greenfolk is still hubris, and the need— inherent need inside, and still very deep within the mitochondria and the chloroplasts. Greenfolk still want to bite the hand that feeds them or maybe the hand that placed them in the ground. What is it— what is it about you mortals that makes you want to kill a god so badly?

Amanda (as Troy): It just seems kind of unfair. 

Brandon (as Umbi): I'm a pirate.

Julia (as Cammie): Is that a serious question or like a metaphysical one? 

Eric (as Pumpkin): No, of course, it's serious, I want to know. I would love to know. It is— it's— I— I never get the chance to ask, and it would truly be— it would truly answer on of these questions that I have for so long.

Brandon (as Umbi): But who are you if you're not the Harvester?

Amanda (as Troy): Are you the planter? Because this guy is your biggest fan?

Amanda:  Troy points at Havana.

Julia:  He's not anymore.

Eric:  I don't— hey, Tro— hey, Troy, Troy, you know, I like your earlier stuff, but I'm not—

Brandon (as Umbi): Your first album was great.

Eric (as Pumpkin): I know about Rudy. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I am— I am exactly who you think I am.

Julia (as Cammie): Wow. Okay. You— you asked us a question—

Eric (as Pumpkin): Uh-hmm.

Julia (as Cammie): —and I have— I have an answer to it. 

Eric (as Pumpkin): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): I do have an answer to it, but then I have a secondary question—

Eric (as Pumpkin): Please.

Julia (as Cammie): —that kind of tacks on to it.

Eric (as Pumpkin): Oh, it's only fair.  

Julia (as Cammie): We are the seeds that you buried in the ground, but as a planter, do you get to determine how the plant grows once it's been planted? You don't get to determine who we are, how we live our lives, or anything else about us. All you did was plant and the rest was kind of up to us.

Brandon (as Umbi): Seems like you kind of put a thumb on the scale when you also made the environment in which we grow, you know? It's like if you plant a seed and then you don't put it in enough sunlight, it's like what are you expecting the plant do? It's gonna be murderous.

Amanda (as Troy): Wait, plants need water and ours got turned off.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yup.

Amanda (as Troy):  What are we supposed to do, then?

Brandon:  I love Troy.

Eric (as Pumpkin): You interfere too much and they rely on you in critical— about what your choices are. You do too little, you're not even sure you exist in the first place. I know you— I know it feels like you've been around for the entire world, Umbi, but there's still plenty for you to learn before you rot in the ground. Troy—

Amanda (as Troy): That's me.

Eric (as Pumpkin): —keep do— keep doing what you doing. 

Amanda (as Troy): Alright. Yeah.

Eric (as Pumpkin): Cammie, if you seem to think that I'm a little too hands-on and I'm—I'm wondering why I didn't pluck that weed of Rutabaga decades ago. Stay safe, curb your hubris. I'll still be around.

Eric:  The pumpkin falls off of the sprout, it lands with a splat on the deck.

Julia:  Cammie picks it up and punts if off the side of the boat.

Amanda:  Yay!

Eric:  [21st Century Fox intro] One of the four keys of the salmon!

Brandon:  Woo!

Amanda:  Yay!

[theme]

Brandon:  The camera fades away from the ship as you see Umbi start shoveling the Harvester's corpse and the salt back into the barrel. 

Eric: It's like— and Sil is like—

Eric (as Sil): I'll get the bleach.