Hamlet had a play-within-a-play. Join the Party has a puppet-show-within-an-actual-play.
Dive into our ship combat mechanics, classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Eric: So, hey, do you fuckers want to level up?
Amanda: Yes, please.
Brandon: Yeah!
Julia: Yes. Yes, I would. Indeed.
Brandon: Sounds like the best intro, most easiest and the most natural intro you've ever done in five years.
Eric: Yeah. And all it took was for me to swear at all of you. Alright, folks, it's been a little while since we've had a Skill Tree episode, so I think that our good player characters should level up from a level 7. Sorry, I have to— this is a pre-automated recording, so I have to—
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: —insert my—
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: I have to insert my voice. Okay, hold on. Okay, I'm gonna hit play. You have to level up from level 7 to level 9. And I hope you did it before recording today. I'm so tired.
Brandon: Weee!
Amanda: Oh, you know it, baby.
Julia: Oh, hold on, I have to scramble to get my— my character sheet updated, one second, one second, one second.
Eric: Press one to repeat the message.
Julia: [beep]
Eric: Para Espanol oprima numero dos.
Julia: [beep]
Brandon: Do it.
Amanda: Can I just say?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Oh, you caught me, I was joking.
Amanda: It's so rude when sometimes you're like, "Oh, put in your credit card number. If you need a minute, I'll wait." And I'm like, "Go fuck yourself, American Express." It's only gonna take me a second.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I'm not putting my credit card number into your phone system.
Amanda: The other day—
Eric: What is this, '85?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: What is this, Germany?
Amanda: The other day the bank called me, and they were like, "Hey, what's your social? I need to verify a transaction." And I said, "No." And it was the bank!
Brandon: Wait, they called you and asked you for your social?
Amanda: Yes, and I said no.
Julia: That's pretty fucked up.
Brandon: That's like, "Hey, bank, that's what you told me you don't do all the time."
Amanda: Yeah. They're like, "Hey, do you want to call us back then? And I was like, "Yes."
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: I will call you from the number on the bank website.
Julia: You could be cloning your number for all we know. I don't know.
Eric: The amount of garbage that I have to do two-factor authentication with, and you're calling me on the phone, Bank of Ashmerica?” Rude.
Julia: Bank of Ashmerica.
Eric: I— when I'm trying to buy shoes, I have to do double factor, and Bank of Ashmerica is not— is caught using the one— the one through nine dots, don't like that.
Amanda: Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
Brandon: The one through nine dots.
Julia: Not a fan.
Eric: Don't like that.
Julia: Not a fan.
Amanda: No.
Eric: Okay. So we're gonna go from person most likely to win a waffle-making contest to person likely to win in a waffle-making contest. And it's going to be Brandon, Julia. Amanda.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: It's fair.
Eric: Julia, untie—
Amanda: Julia has small hands.
Eric: Julia, you've been sabotaged, so you came— you come in second, and Amanda cheated, and she got found out.
Julia: Wow.
Amanda: No.
Brandon: For my entrance, my—
Eric: Out of— hold on, out— out of the three of us, who is the most likely one to cheat at a waffle-making contest?
Amanda: Yeah, it's probably me.
Julia: Why would it be— how? Why would you cheat?
Brandon: Why would you chea— why would anyone cheat?
Amanda: I don't want to fail. I don't want to fail.
Eric: Amanda— Amanda, like, has a waffle maker that, like, gets too hot. It's like F1 Racing. It's too powerful.
Amanda: I— I put NOS— I put a NOS button on my waffle maker.
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: And it shoots them up into the ceiling.
Julia: Wild.
Eric: That's why I live my life one-quarter mile at a time.
Julia: Jesus Christ. Alright, we can't— we can't keep doing this.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. Alright, I'm going to start talking about my level-up, my intro into the waffle contest though is a stuffing waffle. Okay. So—
Eric: And that's why Brandon won.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Wee!
Eric: Amanda, there's a lot of NPCs distributed through, like you're playing a Grand Prix on Mario Kart. So it's like you three—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —are playing, but also there's a lot of other people, unnamed people who are there.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: It makes sense. That checks out.
Brandon: Okay. So going from level 7 to level 9, all of us, I believe, have gotten a proficiency bonus up to plus 4, which is wonderful.
Julia: Woo!
Amanda: Yup.
Brandon: Which changes a bunch of our numbers. I gained one extra bomb formulae. I have now 9 reagent dice, and I have one new discovery as well as ability score improvement. Importantly, I added one to my dex, which would move that up to the next level. So I had now have a plus 3 in dex, which is great.
Eric: Wowwy.
Brandon: Which did a bunch of great stuff. I have a slightly higher armor class, a slightly higher initiative. My bomb is— attack bonus is plus 7 now.
Eric: Geez.
Brandon: Yeah, all that stuff. And I haven't been doing this, but I just, like, reminded myself that I was doing this, that I can do— if I prime my bomb, I can do now 5D10 damage with one bomb.
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Amanda: Dude.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I love that for you.
Eric: You just love doing bonus actions, so you're like, "Nah, nah, nah. I'm gonna do—"
Julia: Nah, nah, nah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: "I'm gonna— I'm gonna throw some flash bangs at my feet. I'm gonna do that instead.
Brandon: I keep getting tempted by potions, you know?
Eric: No.
Brandon: So for my bombs, though, I got one extra one, so now I have— I got the laughing gas bomb back.
Eric: Sweet.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Because it pushes them prone. It's sort of like a—
Julia: Hideous laughter.
Brandon: Hideous laughter, yeah. And then I swapped out my oil bomb because it wasn't really doing what I wanted it to do—
Julia: That's okay.
Brandon: —with a bramble bomb, which—
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: Bram, bram.
Brandon: —doesn't do damage either, but it does make difficult terrain.
Julia: Like candy blast.
Brandon: Like candy blast.
Amanda: Candy blast.
Eric: Maybe it's a candy— maybe it's a candy bomb.
Julia: Maybe it's candy bramble.
Eric: Maybe it's candy—maybe it's just a candy bramble.
Brandon: So those are all the small things. But, Eric, most importantly, I have a new discovery.
Eric: Oh, God.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Brandon: And I didn't talk to you about this, but—
Julia: No kidding.
Eric: I can— I can tell.
Brandon: I think it'll be okay.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: I'm sure it's fine.
Eric: It's on the list. If it's— if Mage Hand Mike put it there, I can't do anything about it. It's not like— like—
Brandon: That's true.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: "—I went on to the D&D Wiki and I found this, and I'm doing it." Like, it's— it's in the book. It's fine.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Also, that's what you sound like, Brandon. You can't hear it because it's a— your own— own voice, but you sound [straining noise] that's what you sound like.
Brandon: I sound tight, honestly.
Julia: So just sick burn.
Amanda: You sound— you're very clenched. Yes, very tight.
Brandon: So the discovery that I've chosen, there were a couple of good ones, but I feel like I couldn't not do this one, which was craft homunculus. And Eric—
Julia: Oh, everyone's getting fucking familiar now.
Eric: Yeah. Brandon, did you feel left out?
Brandon: I— I did. I want to parrot. I want— I want a parrot, Eric.
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: I want a little parrot.
Julia: Yay.
Amanda: I love him.
Julia: What color is he?
Brandon: Oh, that’s a good question. In my mind, it was like green-yellow, but we can— we can decide that.
Julia: No, I love that.
Amanda: Okay, okay.
Julia: That's great.
Amanda: No wrong answer.
Brandon: So craft homunculus is basically the find familiar spell, but with specific differences. The key one is that I have a telepathic link, provided we're on the same plane of existence, but at any distance, so I can see and hear through my parrot at any distance.
Julia: That's useful.
Brandon: Which is wild.
Eric: Oh, yeah. No, that's fine. I want Umbi to be deaf and blind in regard to his own senses. That would be really funny for me.
Brandon: Yes. Yeah, the same way that Cammie—
Julia: Does it with Nonny.
Brandon: —becomes deaf and blind when you look through Nonny's eyes, yeah.
Julia: Yeah, that’s cool.
Eric: Cool. Good. That's a good time to snipe you in the face.
Brandon: My Homunculus is a construct, basically, and it can take the attack action on its turn, but it—you know, it's not very strong or anything. And then it can't really die. It can die, but I can bring it back.
Eric: If you re— you have to re— remake it over eight hours.
Brandon: It's actually one hour of work, but yeah.
Eric: Uh, fuck you Mage Hand Mike. Jesus Christ. Alright, fine.
Julia: The original make takes longer, but once you know how to do it, it's only an hour.
Eric: Once you know how to do it, it's fine.
Amanda: It's like an Ikea bookshelf.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Like, that second BILLY, it takes 30 minutes tops.
Brandon: But, yeah, like if it dies during a battle, I can't bring it back during the same battle, obviously.
Amanda: Gotcha.
Eric: Oh, yeah, you do it— you do it during a short rest.
Amanda: You're like, "Umbi's gonna take six turns to resuscitate himself."
Brandon: Yeah. I looked at the find familiar spell, and it gives you the list of creatures that you can do. And I thought the closest one was the Raven to a Parrot, Eric?
Eric: Yeah, that's fine.
Brandon: That's the thing I wanted to ask, because the Raven can do mimicry, which I thought that was perfect for a parrot.
Eric: Just like a parrot, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. So it can do simple sounds such as a baby crying or an animal chittering.
Julia: Cute.
Eric: I— I just like the idea of the parrot eating Umbi when he's dead, like a cat.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Like, that's the first thing I thought. I was like, "No, I don't have a parrot. I don't want it eating me as soon as I die."
Julia: Oh, is this the episode where we start implementing— making Brandon roll a D100 to see if Umbi dies in his sleep?
Eric: We do! Yes, we do, actually. That's right.
Amanda: First thought, first thought.
Julia: I don't know if you want to introduce it better about that, but—
Eric: I forgot— I— I forgot how that came up so, no it's fine.
Amanda: I just said it.
Brandon: Well, it's just a joke.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Amanda just said it. We could just start doing it.
Amanda: Alright, Brandon, let's go.
Eric: Yeah, do it.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Eric, do you have the number in your head, like what it is? Like, write it down somewhere?
Eric: Well, didn't we say it was all zeros?
Julia: Oh, yeah, it's zero, zero, zero.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: It was a— it has to be all zeros, so you roll 2 10s.
Brandon: I think I got a two.
Julia: Okay. As long as it's not all zeros, you're fine.
Eric: As long as it— you— you gotta get both zeros, it's fine.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Guys, that's very close to all zeros.
Brandon: I know, I know.
Julia: One of them was a zero.
Eric: One of them was a zero. We were getting close.
Brandon: I got one 0 and then one 2, yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. Incredible.
Eric: That's fine.
Amanda: Thank you.
Julia: That's really fine.
Eric: Alright. So Umbi now has a parrot, great. A parrot— a parrot.
Amanda: Yay.
Julia: We did it.
Eric: Wonderful. I like it.
Brandon: Oh, I gotta think of a name, Julia.
Julia: Yeah, you gotta come up with a name.
Amanda: Anjou.
Eric: Yeah, name it so it hurts more when I heard it.
Brandon: Is his name Bartlett?
Amanda: Anjou.
Julia: That's very funny.
Brandon: Anjou, yeah.
Amanda: Because then you can pretend it's French and it curb Julia's friendship more.
Brandon: That's fun.
Eric: I li— I— I really like that you're— everyone is creating more people that your characters like. That's good.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: That's good for me.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Do you want us to be sad and lonely, is that what you're getting at?
Eric: Yeah, if—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: —that's— that's what you should do.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Julia, tell me about your level-up.
Julia: Cammie has gotten an ability score, so now her dexterity is no longer zero, which will be helpful for her AC and initiative, I suppose.
Eric: Smart.
Brandon: Yay.
Julia: And she also is— is doing— is doing beefy. Cammie's at 64 hit points right now, which I think is—
Eric: I can't believe that.
Julia: —pretty impressive. Yeah.
Amanda: That's awesome.
Julia: Which she rolls also a D8 every time so, like, she's beefy and she started with high constitution, so she's doing okay.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: Nice.
Julia: And then a couple of things I got at ninth level, I now have a fifth-level spell and I added two more fourth-level spells to my spell slots, which I'm very excited about.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: That's pretty rude. I should probably keep you from doing that. That's pretty rude of you.
Julia: I did pick my fifth-level spell, which I'm going to save for later—
Eric: Oh, good, thank you.
Julia: —for shenanigans.
Eric: Thank you.
Julia: But I also got another hex, which I will tell you this hex, because I think it's fun but it's not too, too shenanigan-y, which is the hex ruin. So as an action, choose one creature you can see within 60 feet to make a con saving throw. On a failed save, the creature's AC decreases by 3 to a minimum of 10 until the end of your next turn.
Brandon: Wow.
Eric: You sure are ruining me, Julia.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Okay, that's cool. I like that. I like that a lot.
Amanda: That's awesome.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: That's tight.
Julia: And then the final witch thing that I got is—
Eric: Oh, my God.
Julia: —the dying curse. Beginning at ninth level, when a creature reduces your hit points to zero, but does not kill you outright, you can lay a nefarious curse upon them. The creature is cursed for up to 24 hours. While cursed, the creature has disadvantage on attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws.
Eric: Oh, my God.
Julia: If you regained consciousness, or the creature is targeted by the Remove Curse spell, the curse ends at the end of the creature's next turn. Once you use this ability, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.
Eric: I just love now Cammie's going to be the tank, obviously. because if I reduce you to zero, you're like— you're like, "Ba-bye. Everything you do—"
Julia: You can go fuck yourself.
Eric: "Everything you do sucks."
Julia: How did I end up the tank again? How did this keep happening?
Eric: I don't know.
Amanda: It finds you, Julia, at this point.
Julia: I don't know. Yeah, it's wild.
Eric: God.
Julia: I love being a magic user, but also the tank. That's kind of cool. It's like a better palette and—
Eric: That's wild.
Brandon: Yeah, you're like a concrete cannon.
Julia: Damn. I'm a concrete cannon, bitch. So, yeah, that is everything for Cammie.
Eric: Wonderful. Alright, Amanda, what do you got?
Amanda: Nothing too wild for Troy. I rolled up more hit points, now I have 68 in total. I also decided to split my ability score improvement between intelligence and wisdom. They're both still plus zero, but next time I get to improve. I'll choose one of them to actually get a plus one, which would be really nice. I got another risk die so I can do more of my fun things, with bullets and things.
Eric: Shooting stuff out of my hands.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: And importantly, with my Gunslinger, I now crit whenever I roll an 18, 19, or 20.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Against an enemy. Specifically, against an enemy.
Julia: I love that for you.
Eric: Jesus. Okay good to know.
Amanda: Very excited.
Eric: Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Alright, folks. Well, I'm so glad that your characters are bigger, so you— do you want to go to everyone's favorite tree to sit under outside of that apple tree that proved gravity?
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: It's the Skill Tree, baby.
Julia: Oh, yes.
Amanda: Wee!
Julia: Yes, I'm very excited.
Amanda: It drops boons on us.
Eric: If you go check the Slack right now, I have an updated Skill Tree for you.
Julia: You're doing it. Ooh, hello.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Just the aggressive cross out of religious and Doctor, Doctor.
Eric: Right. So y'all just keep telling— keep people updated. The things that are different now, I have rescinded the level— the level-up of Havana Tropicana—
Julia: Hey!
Eric: —as a religious— as a religious icon, but you can put that into medical naturalist or Black Hat if you want to give Havana another boost there. The Magnolia Network is still— you have one in there.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: For dig and roll, you have done roll one and roll four. Lords of the Manor, Monster Wrangler, and the Putts and Puppets Pirate Palladium are still open. You have one in shipshape, but you can do another one. Backstory unlocked and Amber exchange are there. But I had— I do have something new here on the Skill Tree.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: I see Gloria! Uh-hmm.
Eric: Oh, in my head, it was Gloria.
Julia: Oh, okay. It could also be since we're recording this around the holiday season. [sings Angels We Have Heard on High] Gloria.
Eric: Oh, from Sister Act?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Exactly.
Eric: Yeah. Oh, that— that song Whoopi Goldberg sings?
Amanda: A Whoopi OST.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah. Your good friend, Gloria, who ended a— who you brought back— I assume you brought back to the Hold.
Amanda: Oh, totally.
Julia: Yeah, of course.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: My new best friend, Gloria.
Eric: I think that you're like sailing back to the Hold after this whole thing, as Gloria is regrowing her little legs.
Julia: So cute.
Amanda: So small.
Eric: Hey— there's— it's getting— it's getting bigger now. She has like bottom half five-year-old legs now.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Like little toddler legs.
Eric: Yeah, little toddler legs where she like—
Julia: Love it.
Eric: —can't control how fast she's going, especially on a boat.
Julia: Aw.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric: There's a lot of— there's a lot of falling involved, which hurts more because she's old. It'd be like—
Eric (as Gloria): So— so what's your deal? What's— what's going on? We're at your— at your homestead.
Julia (as Cammie): Um, so well, first off, trying to find the salmon, that's our big thing, why we were in the maze in the first place.
Eric (as Gloria): Sure, sure, sure.
Julia (as Cammie): And so it's the Hold. It's a big, hollowed out volcano with a bunch of pirates in it. And, oh, my God, wait until you see the Putts and Puppets Pirate Palladium.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's my favorite.
Julia (as Cammie): It's amazing.
Amanda (as Troy): There's also a gut really good clothes, if you care about your fashions. He can really update you to the times, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): I like her clothes. It's very retro.
Amanda (as Troy): No, no. They're beautiful, they're beautiful.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): But I'm saying he— he takes all kinds and makes all kinds, you know?
Eric (as Gloria): I don't know these—they're a little— they're a little worn, because I have been wearing this for some indiscriminate amount of time.
Amanda (as Troy): That's perfect.
Julia (as Cammie): We don't know.
Eric (as Gloria): I— I— I don't know. I would— I wouldn't know. So— so the pirate, is that like— was it— was it cool? Just so I understand the flow of— of culture and society at this point, is that something that pirates would do, is live inside of a volcano? Or was that just open and you thought it was interesting regardless of the situation? Like, is this like an aesthetic, or is— do all people think living inside of a volcano is cool?
Julia (as Cammie): No, that's just like our thing.
Eric (as Gloria): That's your thing?
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know if anyone else is out there living in volcanoes out on the Great Salt Sea, but I mean, we do, so—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): But it is also an aesthetic and a cool one at that.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): It is. It's like easy to defend, you know like have some hot springs, easy to grow stuff. That's really fun.
Eric (as Gloria): Hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): There's a big crab.
Amanda (as Troy): Big crab—
Eric (as Gloria): Big, yeah, yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, a big crab.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, yeah. One thing you have to know, don't go out while the big crab is feeding, eats their enemies but doesn't know who enemy is if you're not— if you're in the water when— when it's hungry.
Brandon (as Umbi): Right.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric: On the wind, you hear a [Giant Crab noise]
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh!]
Julia (as Cammie): There he is.
Amanda: Yeah, we love him.
Brandon (as Umbi): Baby!
Amanda (as Troy): But yeah— oh, and also, don't leave anything alone out. There's kind of like a you know, we respect each other space, but communal space is like fair game when— you should have seen when— when Havana washed up, his boat was gone from around him in, like, four seconds, you know? People can take whatever scraps.
Julia (as Cammie): It was impressive, honestly.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, yeah. So just don't leave stuff lying around, but we'll— we'll show you to our— to our spot and you can keep your stuff safe.
Eric (as Havana): Well, that's because I had to build it when I was on the sea.
Amanda (as Troy): I know, bud. And you chose—
Eric (as Havana): It was a mattress— but it was a mattress before.
Amanda (as Troy): You chose such good resources.
Eric (as Havana): Do— can you give context— hey, when you— when you're giving— telling stories, can you do context, please?
Amanda (as Troy): Okay. Yeah, no, totally. That's really good. So Havana is a male doctor as you may have known. I know it's not common in your time, but it's only relevant—
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, you promised you would not bring it up.
Eric (as Havana): Troy, you promised.
Amanda (as Troy): —it's only relevant because his other turncoat, fucking ex-brothers cast him out on a mattress, can you believe it? And this genius of a man, of a doctor, of a friend, put a boat together on the fly, and— but he did it so good, other people saw it and were like, "Sick. I want that scrap." And then they took it right away.
Eric (as Havana): I was on a mattress before and it got waterlogged, and then— and I—
Julia (as Cammie): But now he has a doctor's office.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): There's beads.
Brandon (as Umbi): The mattress wasn't important and the doctor party was like— he was in medical school before.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, brothers throwing one into the sea. No, that— that's timeless. Okay. That's—
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Gloria): —that's still happening. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Very relatable.
Eric (as Gloria): Very— that's part of the hero's journey.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, who's that?
Eric (as Gloria): Hero?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, Troy, do I have a fucking thing for you?
Eric: Can someone make some fan art of Troy Riptide reading the Hero's journey by Joseph Campbell? That would be really great.
Julia: Just like Hero with a Thousand Faces, you know?
Eric: That would be so good.
Julia: Whichever one you want.
Eric: That would be good.
Julia: Dealer's choice.
Eric: It'd be like, "Whoa. This is the call to adventure. Nice"
Amanda: Oh, my God. Every story kind of follows this thing, it's crazy.
Eric (as Gloria): Alright, well.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, and if you see a lady, what is rainbow carrots— don't— she's, like, nice to your— nice to you, but then like laughs about you later, so just, you know—
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Amanda (as Troy): —just be on your guard a little bit.
Brandon (as Umbi): Really?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): I didn't know that.
Julia (as Cammie): Umbi, we've told you this.
Amanda (as Troy): No, she's not nice.
Julia (as Cammie): I know that was in your first reaction upon meeting her, but we did tell you later.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.
Eric: Umbi might have forgotten because he was chilly at the time.
Brandon (as Umbi): I was very cold.
Julia: Yeah, that's true.
Amanda: He was very cold.
Eric: He was very cold.
Julia: So cold.
Brandon (as Umbi): Honestly, though, the younger you are, the more— the faster I forget about you, so you know, it happens.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, that's fair.
Julia (as Cammie): So you're in the clear, Gloria. He'll always remember that you're around.
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, that's good. Yeah. I mean, I— I can't compare myself to anything. I don't know— as someone— as someone finding themselves in and out of time, it's just, you know, maybe— you know, if you helped me get set up, I think maybe I can— maybe I'll feel a little bit more settled, if that's possible.
Brandon (as Umbi): Of course.
Julia (as Cammie): Maybe I'll spend some money and unlock your backstory.
Brandon (as Umbi): Maybe.
Amanda (as Troy): Anything you need, friend. Everyone finds themselves at the Hold because it's the only place that'll hold them, you know? And then you make a little space for yourself there.
Julia (as Cammie): Aw.
Eric (as Gloria): Wow.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, that's so sweet.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, is that why we call it that? That's great. I like it.
Amanda (as Troy): If you tell me this word has another meaning, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Brandon (as Umbi): It doesn't, it doesn't.
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Eric (as Gloria): So changing the subject really quickly, what's in— are there— how many— are there like any— how close can I get to the actual volcano and still have kind of a— a place to— a place to sleep? Is that— how— how taken is that?
Julia (as Cammie): So it's all in the volcano, because it's all hollowed out.
Eric (as Gloria): No— okay. Oh, okay. Okay, that's— that's on me.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): You can— you could go, like, up.
Eric (as Gloria): Okay. How— how close can I get to the hot— the hot liquid?
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, I mean—
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't think there really is any. It's all under the ground and then— you know?
Julia (as Cammie): No, no, no. We have hot springs.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah, we got hot water.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, you can go— go be down on— on ground level, go near the hot springs, close to the Earth, you know?
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, okay. Well, I have to figure out—
Brandon (as Umbi): I think the hot springs are up too. There's some up, right?
Eric (as Gloria): —up, down.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): That might be dangerous.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): I— I just need— I'm just— I need somewhere to, like, set up— like, it's not going to be the same as what I had back at— is what I had, but I think I could set up a forge pretty— just like a rough and ready one.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa. Is that what you do?
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, yeah, no, I make— I make weapons and— and things.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Julia (as Cammie): That's so cool.
Amanda (as Troy): That's awesome.
Brandon (as Umbi): You swing hammers?
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, I'm more of a— I'm more of an axe lady, you know? It's easy if— it's easy to slice in— in twain.
Eric: And wi— and she wiggles her little ba— her chunky baby legs.
Eric (as Gloria): But, no, I can get you— I can get you set up. If someone can just help me—can just help me put that to me, that'll be really great.
Julia (as Cammie): Yes. Absolutely.
Amanda (as Troy): A hundred percent.
Julia (as Cammie): Already on it.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. We— we can tap the earth and find you some magma.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): No, that's what I— that's what I need. Yeah, if you could just tap— I need to get to that liquidity hot, hot stuff. I can— I can smoosh and smoosh some stuff together and do some things, and some bangs, and some booms, and some planks, and some clanks. Get a little— get a little— get a little wiggle.
Amanda (as Troy): That's sounds awesome.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Gloria, I— I like that it's just—
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): —you, but the fact that you make weapons, even better.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): It would be tight to see you in a big, old Viking helmet.
Eric (as Gloria): This is inappropriate.
Julia (as Cammie): Umbi, stop flirting.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm not. Trust me, I'm really not.
Eric (as Gloria): Hey, girl, you look so good. What if your outfit was on you, and also you were wearing a Viking helmet?
Amanda (as Troy): What if instead of fabric, it was all metal and bones? It'd be so cool. You're Gloria.
Eric: Alrighty. Alright. So if you spend something on Gloria, you can— you're going to have her forge house set up.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Yay!
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: And— and she'll give you some bonuses to start, and it might unlock some other things.
Brandon: Hell yes.
Julia: I would like to ask very quickly.
Eric: Please.
Julia: Just to confirm for us and the audience, how many amber do we have at the moment?
Eric: Whoa. You have—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You have one Amber, and as always, you get one XP for going back to the Hold after a significant amount of time.
Brandon: Weee!
Julia: Now, would we like to— Friends at the Table here, that's a different podcast. Now, would we like to, my compadres, my friends, would we like to implement our plan to raise more amber while we're here at the Hold?
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: That's my vote.
Eric: Oh, you have a plan?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Julia: Oh, of course, we have a plan.
Amanda: Of course, we have a plan. Of course, we have a plan.
Brandon: Yeah. Julia, I forgot about that 'till just now. Okay.
Eric: Oh, you have a plan, yeah, sure.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Julia: Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): So since I learned to read, it's been very exciting for me to— to learn about the world.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): I think— I think more people— they should be free to— to learn about the world.
Eric: Oh, my God.
Amanda (as Troy): And so what— what we are going to do is— is put on a puppet show of our adventures and have it be free for people, because knowledge should be free, and books should be free. And— and also though— but ask businesses for money to make it and then we'll say—
Julia (as Cammie): I suggest a donation.
Amanda (as Troy): We'll say, "Hey— hey, but the business is good. And whoa, what if we had food from the Outback Steakhouse over on our adventure to the depository.
Eric: This is like you’re raising money for your soccer team.
Julia (as Cammie): We are.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): But— and then we'll put on a show at the Palladium, well, it'll be free, that is our plan.
Julia (as Cammie): With a suggested donation—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): —of maybe a little bit of amber.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: Cool. Yeah. Cool.
Julia: Can we do that?
Eric: Tell me more, tell me more.
Julia: Well, we're gonna get Gloria set up, I think, probably in like Cammie's apartments or what have you.
Amanda: Ground level, easy to access.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Being like—
Julia (as Cammie): Listen, we will— we— we have a job that we have to do while we're here. And then once we have the funds to get you set up, then we'll get you nice and set up. Would you also like to participate in a puppet show?
Amanda (as Troy): You can yell action.
Eric (as Gloria): A pup— a puppet show. Is that— once again, I just want to be— I want to be— just be really—
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): Is— is the thing—
Amanda (as Troy): A puppet— a puppet— what looks like a person, but is not. And then you use, like, any kind of appendage or maybe a pole, or like a proboscis sometimes and my hands are busy. And then you make it look like you are talking, but really you're behind the curtain talking.
Eric (as Gloria): No. No, I know what a puppet is, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, good.
Eric (as Gloria): Is this how— is this, like, pirate stuff? Is this whatever one does? Are there no like— is there no communications, otherwise, you have to do puppetry?
Julia (as Cammie): This is how we do the news for everyone here.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): It's not how the world does the news, it's how we do the news.
Amanda (as Troy): No, I did learn there is television.
Brandon: Oh, that's true, there was. Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): And also radio, and telephones, and telegrams.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): But we— we do more— more like we do puppets.
Julia (as Cammie): We do puppets.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think like— like the news is good at all, like learning about what happened, but have you— have— well, no one's ever quite thought about like what if more entertaining stuff—
Amanda (as Troy): Hmm.
Eric (as Gloria): Uh-huh.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): —we could watch.
Julia (as Cammie): Edutainment.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, maybe just entertainment.
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Amanda (as Troy): Yes, it's pretty fun. There's just this thing that we say that I think will be helpful for you to know, which is sun's out, clubs out. Sun's away, puppets do play. So the puppets only happen at night and the puppets read through the news.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, if you don't mind, I don't mean to correct you, it is—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): —sun's asleep, puppets do peep.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.
Eric (as Gloria): Peep— yeah, peep.
Amanda (as Troy): You're right. You're right.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Gloria): It sticks in the mind.
Amanda (as Troy): Yup.
Julia (as Cammie): Yes.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Peep. Like a little bird—
Amanda: But, yeah, Eric, this is—
Eric: I'm just trying to catch up. I'm just trying to catch up. There's a lot to take in.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Telephone?
Julia (as Cammie): Don't worry about it, we don't use it here. We simply don't use them here.
Amanda: Too advanced. Too advanced.
Eric: Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Amanda: So, Eric, this is gonna be like the Christian passion plays, where a wagon would come into a medieval English village, sometimes French, and just tell— kind of like 10-minute versions of adventures that did happen to Christ in the good book. And so we're just going to tell people about our adventures using puppets representing ourselves and the enemies that we have vanquished, both to give them news about what's going on in the broader world and also, you know, raise some money.
Eric: Sure. Yeah. Why don't you— why don't each of you tell me how you're going to set up the puppet show?
Brandon: Hmm. I mean, I've got to do pyrotechnics, of course.
Julia: Cammie's in charge of the costumes.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Great. And I think Troy is going to go around to business owners with his shirt off, looking lost, and asks for money.
Eric: Incredible. Okay, okay. Yeah, why don't— ooh, boy. Sure. Yeah. Umbi, give me an Intelligence Roll about your bomb stuff. So, yeah, your pyrotechnics go?
Brandon: Should I add my proficiency or just my intelligence, do you think?
Eric: No, just your intelligence.
Brandon: Cool. 17 plus 3 for a non-Nat 20.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Pretty good.
Amanda: Pretty good.
Eric: Right. Man, you— now, that you have a parrot muse with you, you're so artistic.
Amanda: It's true.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Blow up something that looks like one of your French girls. Cool. Yeah, tell me about costuming, Cammie.
Julia: Well, Cammie's costuming not only the players, but also the puppets. So—
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: —Cammie and Nonny are sewing little outfits to go on— which I imagine they're not real puppets. They're still sock puppets.
Eric: Sure, yeah.
Amanda: Yes. Yes.
Julia: Because we haven't invested enough to actually get real puppets yet.
Amanda: No, no, no. No.
Julia: So I think that Cammie's like sewing, like, the little flower hat onto Umbi's and a bunch of little bombs that are like made out of felt. And then for Troy, sewing muscles onto it underneath the shirt that—
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: —then rips away and then wings on furling. And then for Cammie, just a cute little dress and like a little— using a little, like, prestidigitation to make steam rise out of it.
Eric: Sure. I mean, yeah, what do you want to roll for this? I'm— I'm not sure exactly.
Julia: Arcana, maybe?
Eric: Yeah, sure.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Great.
Eric: Yeah, I guess that's a— that's a combination of lots of stuff. You don't have an arts and crafts role, so this is the best I can do.
Julia: No. I do have performance, but Arcana's higher, so I'm just say Arcana.
Amanda: Arcana sounds the most like arts and crafts.
Eric: Yeah, no, that's fine. That's fine.
Julia: [dice roll] That is a 16, 11 plus 5.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: They're cute. They're so cute.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: They're so— they're really— they're really cute.
Julia (as Cammie): I worked really hard on them.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh, do I hear that someone is making some fabrics, some fashions that I have not been invited to participate in?
Julia (as Cammie): I thought that the fashions of puppets were beneath you, my dear Aubergine.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh, they are. I just came to see how bad you were doing.
Julia (as Cammie): This is— this is because of your— this is because of your monthly dinners with Umbi, isn't it?
Eric (as Aubergine): Yes, it's because I'm much closer with him than I am with you. And I always have been, and it was established in canon.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Aubergine): So what— what is the— the occasion that you are making such a show?
Julia (as Cammie): We are— are raising money to get our new friend, Gloria, a beautiful new home.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh, it's nice. So what do you do— what do you say? I mean, you have been gone for so long. I hope to hear about some of your adventures. It must be thrilling.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, why don't you wait until your dinner with Umbi, huh?
Eric (as Aubergine): I— I came here with open hands, not closed hands or fists. But open hands a piece!
Julia (as Cammie): No, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just being mean, and that's not like me.
Eric (as Aubergine): I'm storming out.
Julia (as Cammie): No, come back, Aubergine, I'm sorry.
Julia: Sorry, that was Julia blunt too far into Cammie there.
Eric (as Aubergine): So, Umbi, how is the explosions going for the puppet show?
Julia: And you see Cammie being like sad and being like—
Julia (as Cammie): Aubergine, no!
Brandon (as Umbi): You know, Jean, it's going— it's going really well.
Julia (as Cammie): They have private names?
Brandon (as Umbi): It's going really well. You're gonna— you're not gonna believe your eyeballs.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh, Umbi, you're so artistic, and that's what I respect the most about you. So are you talking more about your incredible adventures that you've been— you've been going on for so long?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Aubergine): What— can you give me a sneak peek? What— what have you been up to?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I mean, like the last— last stuff we were doing, we went through a big, ol' hedge maze.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): And no one got tossed in the air, at all.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh, well, what the— I mean, you must've come back with some sort of incredible loot, some sort of— some treasure.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I mean, like we got some amber.
Eric (as Aubergine): Nothing else?
Brandon (as Umbi): We got a— a new friend and Gloria. Is that loot?
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh, you're— Umbi, you are sweating.
Julia: Uh, good instinct, good instinct.
Brandon: Can I roll Insight Check to see what his sort of vibe is right now?
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Oh, shit.
Julia: Did you roll a Nat 20?
Amanda: Nat 1?
Julia: Nat 20?
Amanda: Nat 1?
Julia: No? No? Nat 1, fuck.
Amanda: It's a 1.
Brandon: Nat 1, baby.
Julia: Nooo!
Amanda: I know Brandon's expression.
Eric: I rolled much higher than the— higher than this, so you have to answer this question truthfully.
Brandon: Okay, I think I—
Eric: Okay. For real—for realsies, though.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: For realsies.
Eric (as Aubergine): I mean, is there no incredible thing that came— that was at the end of the— the maze? I mean, there is usually some incredible treasure, just more than dusty amber than seems to be a very well-wested— a very well rested woman.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, that's fair.
Julia: She is.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, we— well, we got another pamphlet. That was neat. Or at least we read it for Dr. Radish. We got— we almost got a scythe, but then we decided to throw it in the ocean. And we also got the key for a maze, the maze key.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh. One of the keys, they are real. Incredible, incredible.
Brandon (as Umbi): Incredible! D’accord!
Eric (as Aubergine): Sacrebleu.
Brandon (as Umbi): Sacrebleu.
Julia: Zut alors.
Eric (as Aubergine): Zut alors.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Aubergine): In— yeah. You are— you are always up to something incredible adventures, Umbi. Is— if I— I can only hope that you will bring me— maybe in the future, you bring me with you whatever it's happening next.
Brandon (as Umbi): You want to travel along with us?
Eric (as Aubergine): Yes, I would love that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay. Yeah, that'd be fun. I got all time—
Eric (as Aubergine): I can find myself, find— figure out where— where— where I'm from and then see more of than just on the island and be inspired.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I love that. Y'all talk to the crew and see what— see what they do.
Eric (as Aubergine): Do you promise, the next thing you do, you should— you will bring me? Because we're such good friends.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, I mean, I can't— I can't speak on behalf of the crew. I'm not a captain.
Eric (as Aubergine): But, yeah, I do not trust Cammie. She is— she— she does not respect—
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, then, how are you gonna work along with the team if you don't trust Cammie?
Eric (as Aubergine): She does— she does not respect our friendship.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, maybe we'll have a sit down before we take— before we take off and solve that problem.
Eric (as Aubergine): No, I'm kid— I'm kidding. I want to see how you would react. We got on— we got on incredible.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, incredible?
Eric (as Aubergine): Like— like— like house on fire.
Brandon (as Umbi): Like house of fire?
Eric (as Aubergine): Are you— what the fuck is your problem? I'm leaving. I— you— you have made the promise to me—you have made the promise to me, Umbi. I'm coming with you.
Brandon (as Umbi): I didn't.
Eric: Troy.
Amanda: What's up?
Eric: Tell me what you're doing.
Amanda: Walking around shirtless, introducing the puppy to everybody. You cannot give me my—
Eric: Does the puppy have a name?
Amanda: No.
Eric: No?
Amanda: No.
Brandon: Just puppy?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Just puppy?
Amanda (as Troy): This is my puppy, he's gonna tell me what his name is when he's ready.
Brandon: Is that it?
Amanda (as Troy): This is my puppy. What is pumpkin? A pumpy, and I love him. I'm a father now. I would die for him. And I'm showing him around to everybody.
Eric: Tell me three businesses that are on the island that we didn't know about before.
Amanda: Oh, sure. Sure. Sure, sure, sure. Alright. Well, first— first, there's the phone book printer.
Brandon: Yep.
Amanda: Yep.
Brandon: Uh-huh.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: They're not a print shop, they specifically only—
Amanda: No, no, no.
Brandon: —only make phone books.
Eric: They only make phone books.
Amanda: That's right.
Julia: Which is funny because there's no phones on the island.
Amanda: No, Troy didn't even notice them before he learned about books.
Brandon: That's a front for some other kind of illicit activity, huh?
Amanda: Probably, probably.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Secondly, there's the whitt— whittler, and they whittle things real nice.
Brandon: Oh, I like that.
Eric: Okay. Yeah.
Amanda: You need some nice cutlery. You need some good golf clubs, bring your own. You need some good decorations, the whittler.
Eric: That's how you know the difference. It's like you bring your own clubs. That's how you know that you're—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —you're devoted to the sport.
Brandon: I think if you—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —if you like commissioned them for like a big project too, they can make you a figurehead for your boat, you know? Like a real fancy one.
Amanda: It's true with enough time, yeah.
Eric: And you can put like a gi— it makes it look like there's a galaxy inside the— inside of the club.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Yes. And then finally, there is someone who specializes in massage.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Oh, massage?
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Yeah, healing, restorative, you know, regenerative massage.
Eric: Okay, yeah. Give me charisma roll.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. [dice roll] Oh, Troy's a whole new man. 16 plus 2, 18.
Eric: Yeah, everyone opens their doors to you Troy, and be like—
Eric (as NPC): Wow, Tro— Troy Riptide, incredible to see you and this puppy in your chest. How can— what can I do you four?
Eric: All three of them say at the same time.
Amanda: Is it so cute? Troy cuddles the puppy closer, like between his pecs.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, no. We're— we're just— the— the crew— the crew of the Sea Whip—
Eric (as NPC): Uh-huh.
Amanda (as Troy): —we're putting on a show tonight, so you should totally come. It won't be right if you're not there. We're going to tell you all about our recent adventures, but also, we wanted to offer you a chance to advertise, to get— get the word out about business at the show. So if you just want to chip in one Amber, that'll help us with all, like, the costumes and the effects and the seating, everything, it's free for everybody to come. And suggested donation is a— a word I don't really know what it means, but Cammie keep saying it, so I'm gonna say it right now, and that's suggested donation. And— and then, you know, we'll just talk about how great your massage/phonebook/whittling is.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I'm trying to think of a pun on Massage Envy or—
Julia: Massage Ivy.
Brandon: Massage Ivy.
Julia: Massage Ivy.
Amanda: Hmm, that's good.
Eric: Troy, you leave with two amber.
Brandon: Oh! Hot damn.
Julia: Good job, Troy.
Eric: True. Everyone is incredibly infused and says—
Eric (as NPC): Oh, my God. Incredible, Troy Riptide. That's so great. Yes, please, we would love to donate. Please keep us in mind and— and sponsor— and keep our sponsorship really large and makes swords—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah.
Eric (as NPC): —in front. And then everyone, like, will remember— just remember us whenever you go on— you do your next thing. Just remember us, the massa— the massage place, the phone book printing store.
Amanda (as Troy): Yes, yes.
Eric: And the— what was the second one?
Amanda (as Troy): Whittling.
Eric (as NPC): And the whi— and the— and the whittler.
Amanda: The whittler sounds like a Kellogg's, like, cereal but the grocery store brand of the Riddler. I just guessed it right now.
Julia: Correct, correct.
Brandon: Wait, which business didn't cough up the amber?
Julia: Yeah, which bitch—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: —didn't choke up the amber?
Eric: The massage place is doing free massages instead.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: You know what?
Eric: Free massage—
Amanda: Fair. That's fair.
Eric: —free massages at the puppet place.
Brandon: That's fair.
Julia: Oh, okay. Actually, that might get people loosen up and give us more amber.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Exactly. So, you know, tell everyone you see, come on down, we'll— we'll be there.
Brandon: No profit sharing, no profit sharing.
Eric (as NPC): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): No, no, no. It'll help with the show and also our friend, Gloria. So don't worry about it.
Eric (as Troy): Yeah, no.
Amanda: You're gonna meet her. She's great.
Eric (as Aubergine): For sure. Yeah, just— yeah, keep us in mind when you— you know, when you hit it big, and when everything goes really well for you—
Amanda (as Troy): Sure.
Eric (as NPC): — just remember and just like— you know, we have some ideas of how to make, you know, how to make this life better. So I think that, yeah, if you could just remember that and we'll— we'll check in with you later. Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Why do you think I came to you first?
Amanda: Troy says to all three of them.
Eric: Aw, Troy.
Amanda: And then Troy lets the pumpy lick them.
Julia: Aw.
Eric: The screen is divided into three segments and the puppy is licking all three of the proprietors.
Amanda: Yeah.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, everyone, it's Amanda. I am here recording this on a weekend in our office before I take a few days off. And there is something really special about going into office on your day off or going into school on a weekend. Just something about being in a place and seeing the patterns and, like, volume, and character of the place when you're not usually there. It's pretty awesome. So welcome to the mid-roll. I've never seen the sun at that angle. Because I am doing this a few days in advance, if you've joined our Patreon in the last week, I will shout you out in the next episode, and thank you so much. We can only make the show because of your support. And we so, so thank, and love, and appreciate everybody who has made space in their budget each month to support Join the Party on Patreon. If you would like to do that, enjoy party planning, enjoy ad-free episodes, and all the other things we provide, like access to Discord, and even BT Dubs, you can play a one-shot with us, the four of us, and you, just you. It's amazing. Join us at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude, always a lot going on, and Spirits has taken a turn for the silver. Tomorrow's guest on Spirits may or may not be somebody you're very familiar with as we examine mythology in a recent, hmm, let's say, rom-com. It's honestly so incredible. But Spirits is, of course, the show where every week Julia and me get together to learn about a different story from mythology and folklore over drinks. That's everything from the mythological origins of franchises like Wonder Woman, Lord of the Rings, some of the Marvel movies to modern urban legends. It's incredible. We're closing in on 400 episodes, so there is a ton to enjoy, and you can honestly jump in wherever you like. So do so at spiritspodcast.com or search for Spirits in your podcast app now. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, there is a lot to say and think about gift-giving this time of year. My family is focusing more on, like, cards and experience, just spending time together this year. We started a new tradition with my dad and his partner of getting, like, a fancy steak dinner on the day before Christmas because they have other plans. And me and Eric don't celebrate Christmas, so we just get together, and have fancy dinner when the city is pretty empty. And it's really lovely. And that kind of quality time is the thing that I really prioritize. But if you want to prioritize yourself a little more, spend some quality time with yourself, investing in yourself, therapy is a really important tool for a lot of us. I know that is where I'm getting deeper into who I am, what makes me happy, what makes me tick, what I'm angry about, what I'm sad about, and how to deal with those feelings in an appropriate way. So all you have to do to sign up for BetterHelp is fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist. It's convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule. And by the way, importantly, this is not how it works, IRL, you can switch therapists at any time. In the season of giving, give yourself what you need with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored by Ravensburger CreArt. Now, Ravensburger, you've heard us sing their praises all year long. You've heard us shout-out their puzzles. You might have been— if you saw us at PAX Unplugged checking out Villainous and other board game titles that they produce. But they also have a very cool product line called CreArt, which is an ultimate paint-by-number experience. My grandmother loves painting by numbers and so does my sister, it is not just for grandmas. So whether you are a seasoned artist seeking a new challenge, or someone like me who thinks that painting is awesome, but hasn't done it since, like, I don't know, elementary school, this is a really fun way that you can cater to kind of all skill levels and ages. There are a ton of very, like, meditative and therapeutic benefits of painting by number. And just like the stress of daily life melts away as you, I don't know, listen to a great actual play podcast called Join the Party and find solace in creating stuff without that sort of pressure of, like, a fully blank canvas in front of you. They're really, really fun. They're really quality stuff. So go to your local hobby store or toy store today and look for CreArt by Ravensburger or check them out on Amazon. And finally, we are sponsored by Twenty Sided Store. Now, our friendly local game store always has something new going on. You know this about us, we love Twenty Sided Store. In fact, I meet— met a couple of game designers at PAX Unplugged who happened to live in Brooklyn. And when I was like, "Oh, yeah, no. We live actually kind of by Twenty Sided Store." Everyone was like, "Oh, my God. Twenty Sided Store, I love that place." Which is just the sweetest. And in these ads, I have tended to shout-out the games and accessories that Twenty Sided stocks, but did you know? They have original items as well. Now, back in the day, when we first met them, they gave us a shot glass with their logo on it, which is a D20, it's very cute. But they have that same, gorgeous stylized D20 logo on a wood treasure box, on binders, dice bags, shirts, a very cute pencil case, gave me those feelings of like shopping for school supplies. And I was like, "Wait, I can do that whenever I want." They're always adding new stuff, and that's what makes it so fun to stop by every time we are near them in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. So if you stop by in person, mention Join the Party, pretend you're in like the Bourne trilogy and pretend it's a secret code, and you'll get 20% off. Or if you shop online, go to twenty, all spelled out, twentysidedstore.com, use the code Pirate for 20% off your order. All of that at twentysidedstore.com. And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Alright, yeah. It's puppet show time, baby.
Brandon: Wee!
Julia: Woo!
Eric: Tonight's the night, na, na, na, na, na, na. Tonight's the night we're gonna do a puppet show.
Amanda: Wee!
Brandon: Yeah. Is there someone on the island that can play a honky-tonk piano or—
Amanda: Brandon Grugle.
Julia: Brandon, I think the answer is Nonny.
Brandon: Oh, yes.
Eric: Oh.
Julia: So many tentacles playing piano.
Brandon: Yes, I love it.
Amanda: Oh, so cute.
Eric: Brandon, can you just put a snippet of Nonny playing honky-tonk piano in right here?
Brandon: Yeah, it'll be under— it's— it's playing underneath this right now.
Eric: No, can you play real— can I have a solo like right here?
Brandon: Yeah, yeah. Like a nice, cool piano solo here.
Eric: Yeah. Do like a sick—
Amanda: A little riff.
Eric: —piano riff right here.
Brandon: Yeah, like a riff— riff. Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric (as Gloria): That octopus is crazy.
Julia (as Cammie): That's why we love her.
Eric (as Gloria): It's even more dexterous with only one of its tentacles are placed with a wimp.
Eric: Folks, everyone on the Hold is here.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: They are here, and they want to see our puppet show of your adventure.
Julia: Yay.
Amanda: Wee.
Julia: We're going to be chill about the fact that we found a key. We're not going to tell anyone else.
Amanda: Oh, yeah, no. People don't have to know. That's fine.
Julia: No, we just— we went on an adventure to a place that we thought was mythological, and then we found it, and that was the journey itself.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Hey, what's the name of the show?
Julia: I think it's just— I think it's just called Another Adventure of the Crew of the Sea Whip.
Amanda: Yeah. Tales from the Sea Whip, Part 1.
Eric: I love that this is— this is—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —titled like a 1940s newsreel.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Tales from the Sea Whip, Part 1.
Julia: I was going for Penny Dreadful in my Mind.
Eric: Well, yeah, no, that's good. That's good. Yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Eric: Down at the Nickelodeon, I want to see what Troy, Umbi, and Cammie are up to.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. Tales from the Crew of the Sea Whip: including one Cammie, one Umbi, and one Troy, and friends.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And adventuring partners.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Something like that.
Eric: And also, what's happening over abroad.
Amanda: Exactly, exactly.
Brandon: Colon, also what's happening over abroad?
Amanda (as Troy): Plus some bunnies for the kids.
Julia (as Cammie): News on parade.
Eric (as Gloria): And the premiere of Mortimer Mouse!
Amanda: Thank you, thank you.
Eric: Incredible. Alright. Yes. Everyone is there, everyone you recognize. Aubergine is there, Lucky Edie and her crew is there. The guy who of— of— the Outback of the steakhouse is there.
Amanda: Yup, yup.
Eric: Everyone is there. And Gloria has a sock on her— on her little worm— on her little worm foot. She sticks her head out of the curtain and be like—
Eric (as Gloria): Wow, it's a pretty— it's a pretty large crowd here.
Julia (as Cammie): That's literally everyone who lives here. Literally everyone.
Eric (as Gloria): How—
Amanda (as Troy): Your— your new neighbors and friends.
Eric (as Gloria): Does— does everyone come out for every puppet show?
Julia (as Cammie): It's hit or miss.
Eric (as Gloria): This is packed.
Amanda (as Troy): I think— I think they're excited to see us and meet they're new friend.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think this is the first time they've had actual entertainment, and not just—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): —horrible depressing news about the rest of the world.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah. And you're— they all— they seem really excited. They're— I guess that's what pirates look like when they're excited—
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Gloria): —huh?
Julia (as Cammie): Are they— they rowdy? They're rowdy there?
Brandon (as Umbi): Are they rowdy?
Eric (as Gloria): They're very— they're very rowdy. The swords and teeth, everyone sitting in the first two rows and on top of each other.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-huh. Everyone wants the best seat.
Amanda (as Troy): But if you're not like empty chest of Amber, you know, out on an abandoned island surrounded by, like, royal guards of a king what’s bad, you're fine.
Julia (as Cammie): We should probably get started before they get too rowdy.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): Did you all— did you print playbills?
Amanda (as Troy): Nah. But listen, man—
Julia (as Cammie): One of us must have.
Brandon (as Umbi): There were, like, phone books, I think, that were being given out.
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, the phone books, okay.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): And the first page of the phone book—
Amanda (as Troy): Yup.
Julia (as Cammie): —is the playbill—
Amanda (as Troy): Yup.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's the playbill.
Julia (as Cammie): —for the show.
Amanda (as Troy): Yup, yup, yup. But it's blank, so you can write in all the phone numbers of your friends.
Eric (as Gloria): Okay. I mean, I— they'll— okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Alright. Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Gloria, are you okay?
Eric (as Gloria): I'm nervous. There's a lot of them out there.
Julia (as Cammie): You're gonna be great. We're in an adventure.
Eric (as Gloria): There's— the energy I'm getting from them is a lot.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Gloria): There's a lot happening. I don't know how I got thrown into a community theater production as soon as I came back to society.
Julia (as Cammie): I— to— to be fair, I asked if you wanted to do it. I didn't say you had to.
Brandon (as Umbi): This is not the time to discuss this.
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, yeah. That's what you do— that's what you do to is you don't— you—you turn down the first invitation you get inside hundreds of years. That's what you do.
Amanda (as Troy): Hello to the Hold. It is me, Troy Riptide!
Brandon: Wooo!
Julia: Cammie very quickly grabs Gloria's face and is like—
Julia (as Cammie): You don't have to do this if you don't want to, but I believe in you.
Eric (as Gloria): No, I'm gonna do it. This is like—
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Gloria): —just some weird vibe. This is— I'm getting a lot of weird energy.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda: Julia, literally the same time, Troy goes—
Amanda (as Troy): I would like for you all to turn and look at, and clap at, and be really nice to our new friend and neighbor, Gloria!
Brandon: Wooo!
Eric: Spotlight turn— the curtain opens and spotlight turns to me.
Eric (as Gloria): I'm not even in puppet position yet.
Amanda (as Troy): No, I just— I just want to say hi. Just be— be really nice to her. Thanks for coming. Suggested donations at the end. We're going to help Gloria get set up. You’re the best.
Julia (as Cammie): If you help her get set up, you get weapons.
Amanda (as Troy): Exactly. We love weapons.
Julia (as Cammie): Pirates love a weapon.
Eric (as NPC): We do— we do love weapons!
Julia (as Cammie): Yar! Yes.
Eric (as NPC): Yar! Yar.
Amanda (as Troy): Anyway, here's— here's the show. We— we love you guys. We'll— we'll see you after.
Eric (as NPC) We love you, guys!
Julia (as Cammie): Kisses.
Eric (as NPC): And all the stuff you guys are up to.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks.
Brandon (as NPC): Take off your shirt.
Amanda (as Troy): Nah. Later maybe. Bye.
Amanda: And then Troy left them.
Eric: I— I don't do— I don't do this for you. Yeah, let's gauge the energy of the crowd. What do they want? What do they want? Give me insight checks, folks.
Amanda: Okay
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: 10 from Troy.
Brandon: Hey, I got a 10 as well.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: I got— hold on, math is hard.
Amanda: Something better?
Julia: 16 plus 7.
Amanda: Whoa.
Julia: That's a 23.
Brandon: Yeah. It's a 23.
Julia: 23.
Eric: Alright. Troy, Umbi, you know what they want, they want— give them the red meat. We want action, we want adventure. We want sex? We want drama. You gotta give them the drama. They want— we want high-highs, low-lows, and—
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: —whatever you can give them, whatever you— emotion you can get out of this weird puppet.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Fuck yeah. Love it.
Amanda (as Troy): I can't help you with one of those, but the rest, I got you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Huff or these puppets are gonna die.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah. It would be great.
Eric: Okay. Brandon and Amanda, name one thing that's happened in the podcast so far that you recreate and exaggerate, and how do you exaggerate it?
Brandon: Well, I do just want to say that we start the show with Umbi throwing up a bomb in the air and it becomes like a big firework—
Amanda: Ooh.
Brandon: —that starts the show—
Eric: Oh, sure.
Amanda: Aah.
Brandon: —as— as the music starts playing.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: So cute. Troy is going to extremely exaggerate the number of books he's read. He is going to claim— he is going to claim that he has read four to five books per League of Journey.
Julia: Whoa.
Amanda: On the ship, he has asked Nonny to fashion him glasses out of wire, and he is going to put them on his puppet and just talk about all the things he's learned, but all the facts he says happened to be about barrels. And he's also going to claim that Piney was 18 feet tall.
Eric: Guys, Piney was 18 feet tall, a 100%.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Havana is using— he has this like two-handed Piney puppet and be like—
Eric (as Piney): Oh, oh, oh. I'm a giant and a magician. What can you do, Troy?
Amanda (as Troy): And then— and then say that— say that He kissed her. He kissed Tessie.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, and when— I'm in love with the jo— with the spider queen, Tessie the Storm, my life— my life is better than yours, Troy. I read four books. What have you done?
Amanda (as Troy): Got you. Gotcha. Gotcha.
Julia: Is this how you saw this episode going, Eric?
Eric: Yeah. Yes.
Julia: Cool. This is what you planned for, right?
Eric: I— I don't plan for it for anything, Julia.
Amanda: He stays ready so he doesn’t have to get ready.
Eric: Yes, exactly. And Brandon, what is— what is Umbi exaggerating?
Brandon: Oh, well, Umbi's gonna tell the story of how they beat the coral monster at the Bullseye Games.
Julia: Oh, the sea anemone, yes.
Amanda: With no distractions to property, not at all.
Eric: Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: No destruction to property.
Amanda: None.
Brandon: There is a scene where Umbi— maybe Troy, like, leans his back over, like 45 degrees. Umbi takes a running jumpstart off of Troy. He throws some bombs at Radbert's ship. It explodes and starts to sink. He throws a teleportation bomb right behind without looking. It lands directly on the sea anemone's neck. He is suddenly riding the sea anemone.
Amanda: Whoa.
Eric: Clarification, did you build a very small teleportation bomb to make, like, your hand, like, jump one foot to the right?
Amanda: Eric, there's a second puppet. There's a second puppet.
Eric: Oh, and there's a second puppet.
Amanda: One goes down, the other one comes up.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Come on.
Julia: I told you. I made those bombs.
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: I just wanted to know if they were real or if it was stagecraft.
Brandon: I think it's stagecraft, Eric. It's stagecraft, of course. Yeah.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. Practical effects only.
Eric: Well— okay.
Brandon: And then, yeah, he's riding—he's riding on the neck of this sea anemone monster as if it was a fucking Rancor in— in Star Wars.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And while his teammates sort of just, like, punch it for once— like in Anime, you know, you hit them on the right side, someone will hit it from the left side, right side, left side until they— they— they beat them.
Eric (as Edie): A lot of my cousins died at the Bullseye Games, but I'm enjoying myself. I like this version better.
Brandon (as Umbi): And there were no deaths or casualties.
Julia: It thought you were gonna say, "There were no survivors." Not accurate, but not inaccurate.
Amanda: Not that wrong.
Eric: Cammie, Cammie, with your 23—
Julia: Yeah. What do these people really want?
Eric: You're getting a really weird vibe from everybody. You're getting like an intense, strong vibe from everyone. And as you're going through the events, it's not fixing everything. There's like tension, they're waiting for something. They're waiting for something that has not come yet. And even as you go through like 50, 60, 70, 80% of the way through the show, you— they haven't gotten it. They haven't gotten it yet.
Julia: These gossipy bitches.
Eric: You also see that lots of people, on top of their photobooks, have crinkled pieces of paper that they have brought with them.
Julia: Can I see from a distance what they might say?
Eric: If you— you can try.
Julia: Like— please.
Eric: Give me perception, yeah.
Julia: I rolled a 10, so it's only a 13.
Eric: Okay. 13, no. You can't see from the stage. The stage light is too good.
Brandon: I know. I— yeah, sorry, the— the pyrotechnics are just too strong.
Eric: They're too strong.
Amanda: Too thorough. Too thorough.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Can you see through Nonny's eyes? Is she closer?
Eric: You jump into Nonny's eyes and you're like, "Damn, this octopus is playing the keys."
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. What I would like to do—
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: —is I think we are going to take a quick intermission.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Cammie's gonna say—
Julia (as Cammie): Everyone's doing great, everyone's doing fantastic. We need to change the ending of the play.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah?
Brandon (as Umbi): What? Why?
Julia (as Cammie): So I think most of these people might have heard from a gossipy bitch, that we were going after one of the keys and might have gotten it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): And so I think we need to lay a new trail, so that people, one, don't come after us, and two, go someplace where there aren't actually keys.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): I love this idea. Cammie, this is why you're the brains of the boat.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you. I'm so smart.
Amanda: Somewhere, Harold goes, "Hey!"
Eric (as Harold): Hey! I'm the brains and the beauty. Hey!
Julia (as Cammie): That's true.
Eric: Harold was the one using, like, 12 gushy appendages controlling the sea anemone.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So Harold is tired, Harold is sweating.
Brandon: I was gonna say Harold was the gel pack that you put over the li— the lights to get the color right that you need.
Eric: No, Sil—
Amanda: No, no, that's Sil. That's Sil.
Eric: Sil's running the lights. Sil— Sil is running the lights.
Amanda: He's training. He's training.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, whatever you think is best, Cammie. I was gonna say tell him the truth, but probably that's not the right idea.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't think we should tell people, one, that we have a key because they might try to steal it because pirates.
Amanda (as Troy): No, it's true. Oh, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): And two, I don't know if we should tell them the exact location where a key can be found, especially one that can regrow, you know?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, that makes sense.
Amanda (as Troy): What if we say it's in like Tessie's office or that— that gossipy bitch, Hondo.
Julia (as Cammie): We could say it's all on that island. My idea was to make a completely, like, place that does not exist.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, hell yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I like that.
Amanda (as Troy): So like maybe— maybe, you know we found the key for the sky on top of a wall that goes forever.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I like that.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Who would ever make one of those? That's stupid.
Julia (as Cammie): A wall that goes up all the way.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Unscalable, but we did it.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): I think that's great. Do it.
Brandon (as Umbi): The forever wall.
Julia: So Cammie takes the lead on the— the final act of the play and makes Sil create like a big wall that stretches up past the proscenium.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: And so—
Eric: I love how you guys have that in your puppet show.
Julia: Of course.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: You have to have a stage—
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Julia: —you have to box it in.
Amanda: Gotta.
Julia: That's how you create the sense of world.
Amanda: Gotta.
Brandon: It's like you haven't been on the puppet show before, Eric.
Julia: God, Eric, come on.
Eric: No, I only did theater in high school.
Julia: So I think Cammie leads it and is like—
Julia (as Cammie): Yes. And then we went to off to find the key for the sky.
Brandon (as Umbi): The key for the sky.
Amanda (as Troy): Ooh. Aah.
Julia (as Cammie): And we found it after climbing for days.
Brandon (as Umbi): Days.
Amanda (as Troy): We slept there.
Julia (as Cammie): We slept on the wall while climbing in little harnesses.
Amanda (as Troy): It was so scary.
Brandon (as Umbi): It sucked.
Julia (as Cammie): And finally, after days of climbing, we reached the top and we found the key.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ooh.
Julia (as Cammie): And then we came back here.
Amanda (as Troy): Aah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Aah.
Julia (as Cammie): And we found Gloria there.
Amanda (as Troy): Yay.
Brandon (as Umbi): There was a worm on top of the wall.
Eric (as Gloria): It was me. I was asleep up there.
Amanda (as Troy): She was very cold.
Eric (as Gloria): I was so cold, that's why I was asleep because now it's a worm—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): I don't have bones.
Amanda (as Troy): Your guts and junk.
Eric (as Gloria): My guts and weird and— and warm guts.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah, they were shut down, and— but I was alive, because I was asleep in the ice—
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Gloria): —on the top of the wall.
Brandon (as Umbi): You're like a bugbear.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah, that— I— yes, that—that happened to me as well. Yep, everything is true, that there's a—
Julia (as Cammie): And we di—and we did it, and we returned home to you, our friends here at the Hold.
Brandon (as Umbi): And I heard that there's maybe even more keys up there. More keys, sky keys.
Julia (as Cammie): Ooh. More sky keys.
Eric: I'm going to need Deception Checks from everybody.
Julia: Can I, like, lead it since I was the one that led the— the end?
Eric: How about I do an average?
Julia: Okay.
Eric: And I'm going to— I'll add one to your average.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Alright.
Brandon: Well, your boy got a 5.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Total.
Eric: Is that bad?
Brandon: I think so, personally.
Eric: Okay. Okay.
Amanda: I got a 6 plus 2 for an 8.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: My God. I got an 18 plus 3 for a 21.
Eric: Okay, here we go. We got an 11.3 repeating. I'm going to add 1 and I'll add it— I'll round up because that's— because that's fine.
Brandon: Thank you.
Eric: So we— you guys got a 13.
Amanda: Thank you.
Eric: 13.
Brandon: Lucky number 13, baby.
Amanda: Now—
Eric: I'm gonna roll for the pirates. I'm gonna roll for the pirates. Here's the thing.
Julia: Pirates are dumb.
Eric: Pirates. Pirates love stories.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And they sure do love this puppet show. But, but, but—
Amanda: They have a massage.
Julia: There's something else going on that we don't know about.
Eric: The— but there's something else going.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: I got a plus 3.
Amanda: Can I say one thing before you roll?
Eric: You can say whatever you want.
Amanda: I would be open to spending one of our amber on soft power, here, king of the castle.
Julia: Whoa.
Eric: I— you would have to spend 2.
Julia: 2? Oh, yeah, 'cause we have to open it and then we have to—
Amanda: Advance it.
Julia: —advance it. Okay.
Eric: You can also spend one on the puppet show itself, this production would be better. And because everyone would be happier with you because you put— made— made improvements to the pirate thing, but you got to do it right now.
Julia: I mean, we gained two already. I think we're in a good place.
Amanda: We have 4.
Julia: Yeah. Let's—
Eric: That only leaves 3 for Brandon to spend a dig and roll.
Brandon: I know, guys. I really want all the treasure.
Julia: I think it's a smart idea to spend it on Putts and Puppets Pirate Palladium.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Yeah. The sits are nicer, the scenery is big. There has ever been lights before. And I think we need to, like, dazzle them with razzle-dazzle.
Eric: I think— okay. So, then, like, we were looking at this from like, afar, like a real third-person view.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And before it was just like this little dinky stage that was kind of just nailed together with random boards. And then like you're playing, like, Sim City or Civilization and then all of a sudden, it's like woop. And it's like a real nice stage with a real proscenium arch, and a real— and, like, real lights, and like real curtains, and someone resodded all of the mini golf.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And you can put that money towards that. The— you see two Magnolia— Magnolia flowers are just like furiously working on it in fast time and then ta-da. So you do that before.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You can do that before.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: In exchange, I will let one person have advantage.
Julia: Amanda, reroll.
Brandon: Wait, I had the— I had the lowest roll, right?
Amanda: I got a 6 plus 2 for an 8.
Eric: Amanda got an 8.
Julia: Okay. Bran— Brandon—
Eric: Brandon got a 5.
Julia: —Brandon, roll higher than a 10.
Brandon: Is statistically—
Julia: Brandon, roll higher.
Brandon: —equally likely.
Amanda: What's your modifier?
Brandon: Oh, that's a good question, too. Actually, Amanda, what's your modifier?
Amanda: Plus 2.
Julia: Plus 2.
Brandon: Yeah, I have a plus 2 as well. Okay.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: So statistically, this is the right—
Julia: Just let Brandon roll.
Brandon: —move.
Julia: Just let Brandon roll.
Amanda: Brandon, but— but spiritually it's the wrong one.
Julia: What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go wrong with letting Brandon roll?
Amanda: I don't agree with this.
Brandon: Got a 4.
Julia: Brandon, fuck off.
Brandon: That's better, Julia.
Julia: Barely, brother.
Amanda: Sucks.
Eric: So that's a 6. So my rounding is now not nice, it is just statis— mathematically statistical. Incredible. 12— so now it is 11.6 repeating. I'm running that up to 12 plus 1 is 13.
Brandon: Amanda, can you roll a dice right now? I just want to see what would happen.
Amanda: No.
Eric: No.
Amanda: I can't. I respect myself too much.
Eric: No.
Amanda: I wouldn't sleep tonight.
Brandon: Julia, can you roll the dice right now?
Eric: No.
Julia: No, fuck you.
Amanda: No, no. It's not happening. It's not happening.
Eric: I know.
Julia: Why would I roll higher than my 21?
Eric: 13.
Amanda: Alright, go ahead, Eric.
Eric: They also like you more as well.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: It was with the other bonus. So I'm going to drop that down to a plus 2. Yo— it's going to be a 13, okay? It's fine. I rolled a Natural 20.
Brandon: So it didn't matter anyway.
Amanda: Alright, Brandon, you're safe this time.
Eric: Math saved Brandon once again. Oh, folks. Okay. Well, your amber—
Julia: Jesus fucking Christ.
Eric: —your amber count is now down to three.
Julia: Yeah, it's okay.
Eric: When you say this thing at the end, when you say this stuff about the sky key, there's a grumbling from the crowd, and now it's time for the big finale.
Amanda: As we're like changing costumes behind the stage, Troy is like—
Amanda (as Troy): Do people not like this? Should we— should we tell them that's the story they should tell other people but really, we have a key?
Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm. Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Like, we gotta trust somebody. If we don't trust these people, who are we going to trust?
Eric (as Havana): I can't believe it was $32 for a— for a double whiskey soda.
Julia: I was like, "We didn't charge $32 for shit."
Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm. Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): I don't know. It feels dangerous that they're gonna mistrust us.
Julia: No. I— I don't think we can roll our way out of this one, unfortunately.
Eric: Give me your grand finale, folks.
Amanda: Oh, we all learned the box step, and so we're gonna sing about our journey home, being safe in the Hold, and how we can't wait to bring Gloria to our pirate kin.
Julia: And I throw candy out into the audience with candy blast.
Brandon: That's great. I also think we use shape water and like I don't know if you've ever seen The Phantasmal show, I think, at Disney, where they project—
Julia: Phantasmic, please.
Brandon: Phantasmic, thank you. Where they project images onto like—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —spraying water.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: So I think behind us, there's like a light show that's showing on top of the water and then we're— yeah, we're doing the box step, singing the song, and there's candy going everywhere.
Eric: Nonny is jamming on the piano as hard as possible, there's smoke coming off the piano.
Julia: Yeah, for her.
Amanda: Troy rips his shirt off.
Eric: And then a big explosion, a grand finale, middling applause.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Just light— some applause.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Most— some people get up immediately as soon as the lights come up. But, you know, other people say and people were like, "Wow. That was— I learned and I— I was entertained. Wow. Great."
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks for coming.
Julia (as Cammie): That's called entertainment.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks.
Brandon: Did you say vegetainment?
Julia: It's called agetainment, but vegetainment is also very funny.
Eric: Vegetainment, yeah.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: Only Lucky Edie lines up at the stage door.
Amanda: Tough.
Julia: Gross.
Brandon (as Umbi): Did you want an autograph, Lucky?
Amanda: Tough.
Eric (as Edie): No, no. Great. It— great— wow, good story.
Julia: Is she holding one of those pamphlets?
Eric: No, not out. No, not out.
Julia: Can I see it in her pocket or on her person?
Eric: Yeah, roll for it.
Julia: Was it Perception, Investigation, what do you want?
Eric: Investigation.
Julia: Investigation. It's only a plus one, but that is going to be a Dirty 20.
Eric: Hmm. There is a little bit of a piece of paper hanging out of her pocket.
Brandon: Isn't it a Werther's Original wrapper?
Eric: It's not a Werther's— it's not a Werther's Original wrapper. I love— I liked the part where you kind of like blatantly lied about the how the Bullseye Games went. That was— that was interesting.
Brandon (as Umbi): It wasn't a lie. It was a—
Amanda (as Troy): It’s how we wished it went.
Eric (as Edie): A massive exaggeration in how you wish your whole thing kind of went.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's the story.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Edie): Yeah. Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): You know?
Eric (as Edie): It was good, though, I really liked it. I liked the— the piano was awesome.
Julia: Yeah. Nonny's gonna pick her pocket.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Okay. Sleight of hand, please. This is what sleight of hand was made for, baby.
Julia: Alright. Yeah, it's just a 16. I got no spell creep.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Nonny also has a piece of Werther's Original to swap it out with. So if she gets caught, she's like reverse pickpocketing by also putting the Werther's Original in there.
Amanda: Troy's shirt is still off if that’s helpful.
Eric: It does? That's a good point.
Julia: Roll with a disadvantage.
Eric: No, I rolled a Nat 20 now.
Julia: Fuck you.
Brandon: You rolled two Nat 20s, Jesus Christ.
Eric: Reflecting off of Troy's chest is Nonny— Nonny going into Lucky Edie's pocket, as Lucky Edie swings her knife on her green arm.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa. I want to see the notes you took about our performance.
Eric: And slices at Nonny.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey!
Brandon (as Umbi): Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Julia: Fucking excuse you.
Eric (as Edie): Hey, oh, hey, oh, hey, oh. You know, I— oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Whoa. Yo! Hey, oh!
Eric (as Edie): I thought someone was going—you're gonna go over my pocket. Hold on, hey, oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hey, oh.
Eric (as Edie): It's a reflex, come on, we're pirates. It's— it's reflex. Sorry, I didn't know it was Nonny. I thought it was one of those— one of those, you know—
Julia (as Cammie): This is a great excuse. It sounds so real.
Eric (as Edie): It— one of these— one of these butterfly cockroaches that can fly, get in— gonna get in my pocket. I have an infestation, it's terrible. I don't think the Magnolia— the Magnolia Network didn't do a good job of my house, and now there's always— they're just getting in.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm.
Julia: We definitely told them to avoid it.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, I'm sorry.
Eric (as Edie): It's the shiplap, the shiplap is just— has a hole to the outside.
Amanda (as Troy): Should I— should I talk to them about that?
Brandon (as Umbi): Bros.
Eric (as Edie): No, it's fine, I am working on it. It's— they redid my whole kitchen, and it's just, like, unusable.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): I can fumigate your house with a smoke bomb if you want.
Eric (as Edie): I don't want that, either.
Amanda (as Troy): We're actually helpful.
Eric (as Edie): No, it's fine. I don't want any more— I don't want any more of your help.
Amanda (as Troy): Edie, why didn't people like our show? What was that stuff that everyone was holding with the— with the pamphlets? Did you get one? It's okay if it's embarrassing, or like about us or something. But, like, I was just— I was really confused and, like, I tried really hard about all of this. And so that means that therefore it was good, and I was really sad why no one thought it was good. And I just— I thought maybe you could help me understand.
Eric (as Edie): Oh, that's right. You got in this morning.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Edie): Well, so here's what happened.
Eric: We cut to Lucky Edie cracking eggs into a bowl in her breakfast, in the worst minimalist kitchen you've ever seen in your life.
Julia: Ew. Ew.
Eric: It's just so— it's so white in there and everything's at weird angles. There's no counterspace.
Amanda: Tough. Tough.
Eric: There's just like— there's driftwood on every surface.
Amanda (as Troy): You can't balance a cutting board in any of this.
Eric (as Edie): No, you can't. Like, I can't— this is worse. I know it's nice, but it's worse. The stove doesn't even work. I hate it.
Eric: So she, like, removes the grate on her stove, and then, like, whips her knife up, and hits a flint and inflamed. And then it's just like a fire on her stove now.
Julia: Love that.
Eric: And you hear [explosions]
Eric (as Edie): It's like what is that? [explosions]
Eric: She sticks her head out her window and there is a biplane flying overhead, and just pieces of paper scattering to the ground all over the Hold.
Brandon: I don't like that.
Eric: Falling on the water and coming up through the top of the volcano. As you can see— and then inside, we follow one of the pieces of paper as it get— as it gets twirled and whipped around inside of the volcano through the hot springs, and— and it almost gets put into a gelee at the Outback Steakhouse. And it swirls through Aubergine's place and a bunch of pirate and— pirates are scrapping and playing cards and kind of cuts through. And then you see the— the entire island is just like snowing in this blizzard. It is covered, blanketed in these pieces of paper. And Lucky Edie kind of flings her knife up and stabs one at the air and pulls it back.
Julia: You can try as hard as you want to make her cool. She's not cool.
Eric: She's gonna— it's just it is what it is. She's just— she's just gonna be as she's gonna be.
Amanda: I did think about her when I sliced rainbow carrots last night.
Eric: Yeah. And the— the paper says, "If you have a key, sail upon the dissolved belt. We have notions to debate and treatises to draft."
Brandon: What the fuck?
Julia: The what belt?
Eric: The dissolved belt.
Julia: Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): Lucky Edie, I was gonna say I hate asking you for advice, never mind. Do you know what the dissolved belt is?
Eric (as Edie): Yeah. it's where the— all those mo— yeah, you know, where all the monster skeletons are.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, naturally, yeah, where all the monster skeletons are. A thing that everyone knows.
Eric (as Edie): That's what they the mo— that's where the— when the mo— when the sea monsters are killed, they kind of returned to, like, a graveyard, and that's where it is.
Julia (as Cammie): Like mangrove elephants, of course.
Eric (as Edie): Yeah. I don't know— I'm— why are you in my— get out of my— why are you in my face? Why are you—
Julia (as Cammie): No, I'm sorry, the— this is me being nice.
Eric (as Edie): Okay, fine.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm being nice right now.
Eric (as Edie): I'm sorry you missed it.
Julia (as Cammie): So my question is, why was everyone being weird upon seeing our play after receiving these?
Eric (as Edie): Well, you know, there's a market for keys, so they— when they know or knew if you'd gotten one or not, and some— a lot of people—
Julia (as Cammie): Even if we did, they can go find it themselves, Edie.
Eric (as Edie): Well, a lot of them do, and some people are buying them. Yeah. Like, you know, the—
Julia (as Cammie): What do you mean people—
Eric (as Edie): It turns out there's a bunch of maze keys around and, you know, Kid Cervantes—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, yeah.
Eric (as Edie): —has a cloud key, so—
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. And we have the one from the sky, definitely.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Edie): Yeah, you— yeah, you have the one from— okay, you have the one from the sky. Yeah. So—
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, no, we don't. Wait— oh, shit.
Julia (as Cammie): Goddammit, Umbi.
Eric (as Edie): Yeah. Okay. So, like— so everyone was trying to see if you did but, you know, you told Aubergine, and then Aubergine told everyone, and then you lied to us, so—
Brandon (as Umbi): Who told Aubergine?
Eric (as Edie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Even I can tell it was you.
Eric (as Edie): So— yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Umbi, I'm on my last leaf with you right now.
Eric (as Edie): I know— we're all colleagues, we're all still fi— we're still figuring it out.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. How can they— how can they be mad at us for— for— perhaps or perhaps not disguising an asset that we maybe don't want to talk about?
Eric (as Edie): They're not annoyed. It's just the way that it works, everyone wants them. Of course, everyone wants then. It turns out the keys are real and there's a lot of a maze key around. It's— it's— it's interesting, it's cool.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. And everyone else can go almost die trying to get it.
Eric (as Edie): They— they are, but also—
Julia (as Cammie): Great!
Eric (as Edie): —there are some people have, like, fifth— or have, like, a 100—you know, I heard that— that a maze key was sold for like a who— a 100— that was sold for a 100 Amber, so like it's out there.
Brandon (as Umbi): A 100 amber?
Julia (as Cammie): We should just take 2. Now, that I'm thinking about it, we should just pick the second one.
Eric(as Edie): I'm glad you did the puppet show, it's interesting, though.
Julia (as Cammie): Good, I'm glad.
Brandon (as Umbi): A 100 Amber, you say?
Amanda (as Troy): Did— did you like how I learned the grapevine?
Eric (as Edie): I really liked that, Troy. It was really— your foot—your footwork, incredible.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks.
Eric (as Edie): So good.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't want to stand here while they flirt.
Brandon (as Umbi): A 100 Amber.
Eric (as Edie): It's cool.
Amanda (as Troy): I just want some validation.
Eric (as Edie): So— okay. I mean, it's fine— it's fine. No one's mad at— I mean, there's— okay. no. Now, they're mad at you because you lied to their faces, but like it's not a big deal. It's just pirate stuff.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, we lie— pirates lie about everything.
Eric (as Edie): I know.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Edie): But, like, everyone— but, usually, they don't all know. No pirates are usually this informed.
Julia (as Cammie): Everyone knows that pirates lie constantly.
Eric (as Edie): Yeah, we— of course, and you got caught in one.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): So, wait, who runs the dissolved belt?
Eric (as Edie): No one runs it. I don't know. We— we don't know where it's from. It was the person in the biplane.
Julia (as Cammie): Who's— rather, who's advertising? Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Edie): It was in the biplane. Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Did the biplane have any distinguishing marks besides being a biplane?
Eric (as Edie): No, it was fast. We didn't really— so we didn't see it.
Julia: Zoom, biplane.
Eric (as Edie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Can someone explain how it flies?
Julia (as Cammie): Magic?
Eric (as Edie): I can't.
Brandon (as Umbi): Honestly, Troy, no. No one can.
Eric (as Edie): I don't know. I can't, no.
Julia (as Cammie): It's magic.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright. I wanna make sure it wasn't just me. Thank you.
Eric (as Edie): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): The answer is magic.
Amanda (as Troy): Cool.
Julia (as Cammie): Anyway, we gotta go get Gloria set up in her new forge/house.
Eric (as Edie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Genuinely, Edie, she's really cool, I think you'll like her.
Eric (as Edie): I— she seems cool.
Brandon (as Umbi): So did you want the autograph or—
Eric (as Edie): Fuck off, Umbi.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, Edie. Come see the puppy later.
Eric (as Edie): I will.
Julia: Alright. Can we spend the rest of our Amber now, please?
Eric: Absolutely.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You got three Amber, folks.
Amanda: Yay.
Julia: Alright. So I think we should get Gloria set up—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —definitely.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Should we get Havana in a better spot with Doctor, Doctor?
Brandon: That's I was gonna ask, Eric, do we still— because we still have the first level like the intro level, do we still get the five HP—
Eric: Correct.
Brandon: —ten hit points?
Eric: Correct.
Brandon: Cool. Great.
Eric: That doesn't go away. You're just— any of hi— any of his religious powers is gone.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: So I kind of got knocked down one.
Amanda: Yeah. I vote Gloria, the ship, because we— we should really, in my opinion, juice our ship combat a bit.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: And I'd be down to start doing some soft power because it sounds like we may need the resources of other pirates down the line.
Brandon: Yeah. This one, I was thinking, like soft power is interesting.
Julia: Just remember, we'd have to spend two to get to soft power.
Amanda: To unlock Lords of the Manor.
Eric: I will also tell you that— so the Putts and Puppets Pirates Palladium makes everyone happier.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So they never—although you lied to them, it's certainly not as bad as it could have been.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: So unless you're explicitly doing it to try to get to the next level, you're almost like— you're— you're kind of burning it.
Amanda: Just— alright.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Like it would do—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Because you're using it on the same one, it would do the same thing.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: We should save it for next time.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah. That's cool.
Eric: Okay. So just— but you can do it— if you want to do it so that you can level up—
Amanda: Sure.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —do that, but I'm letting you know, though, game— game mechanically, that's how it would go.
Amanda: Thank you. So I— I vote one ship, one doctor, one Gloria.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: I vote Gloria, Monster Wrangler— maybe two Monster Wranglers. We might need a fucking crab here to go to this dissolved—
Eric: You can also do three dig and roll, that's also on the board.
Julia: Absolutely not. Get the fuck out here.
Brandon: I— the Ship Shape is— is interesting to me. I— I— honestly, I don't know what we gained from Havana being religious, in general, so like I don't know—
Julia: I mean, he was— he was doing healing stuff. We didn't really get a chance to see him, you know, use specifically—
Amanda: Do a lot of it, yeah.
Julia: —the religious stuff. But he was— he was better at both religion and medicine because we leveled him up.
Eric: And he had— and he had spells, and he could have revived you.
Julia: He had Revivify.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I think having someone who can revivify us would be helpful. Like if Troy had gone down, Havana could have brought Troy back up. Like, if he had straight-up died.
Amanda: Yeah. I— I find that useful, but, Brandon, let me know what you think.
Brandon: Well, let's definitely do Gloria. We all agreed on that.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yes, we all agreed on Gloria.
Brandon: So, let's check that, Eric.
Eric: Okay. Gloooooria. As Gloria says—
Eric (as Gloria): I made a pipe to the hot liquid.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Julia (as Cammie): Amazing.
Eric (as Gloria): Ta-da! It's Gloria's for dramatic.
Amanda: Yay
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: Hey, all you— all you cats and kittens, you can add plus one to all damage you do.
Brandon: Oh!
Amanda: What?
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Whoa.
Eric: Only— one— plus one damage to all creatures.
Julia: Holy shit. Including like magical damage, too?
Eric: This counts for algae spells for you too, Cammie.
Julia: Oh, okay, great.
Eric: Yeah. After you roll everything, add one.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Amazing.
Eric (as Gloria): Did anyone teach you all how to, like, take care of your— your weapons and—
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Eric (as Gloria): —carry out your algae sticks?
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Julia (as Cammie): I have a single whip that I've never used.
Amanda (as Troy): I have only five arrows and then my dog brought me two.
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, God. Okay.
Julia: That's not enough arrows, Troy.
Amanda: No, it's not.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): Give it— just give it— give it to me.
Eric: And then [chugging noise] there's like a little cutscene that goes and she's like cleaning— cleaning all of your stuff.
Amanda: With, like, the jauntiest tune..
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. As this, like, lava pours on all of your weapons.
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric: It just shines it up. So, yeah, now you do plus one to all of your damage.
Brandon: That's awesome.
Amanda (as Troy): Gloria, that's amazing. Thank you.
Julia: Whoa.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah. I mean, if you're looking for— if you're looking for new— for new algae sticks, and cut them ups, and boom— and boom nozzles, you can— I can make it happen for you.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Brandon (as Umbi): How'd you should get this black powder so— so pure? Dang, that's good.
Eric (as Gloria): That's an ancient secret that only I know. And if you try to take it from me, you're dead.
Brandon (as Umbi): Why would I do that?
Eric (as Gloria): I don't know.
Amanda (as Troy): So we can hang out with you.
Eric (as Gloria): See, it's the thing that I— things that I have to say out loud to other people, so they don't step to me. Ha, ha, ha.
Amanda (as Troy): Understandable.
Amanda: Gloria, you're so great. Cammie, I'm so glad you woke Gloria up.
Amanda (as Troy): Me, too.
Eric (as Gloria): For other reasons, also me, me too as well. But if— you know, if you're looking for something, if you want new weapons, you can just— I got— I need another upgrade to my whole setup. And if I— I need something extra, if you're looking for something specific—
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Gloria): If you're looking for something specific, I need something like— if— I need something red, or you can get me something that's juicy, or you can get me something that's seeded, or you can get me something really sweet. All —any of those are all just— I don't remember exactly what I'm looking for, but any of those things.
Julia (as Cammie): Is that a pomegranate? That's just a pomegranate.
Eric (as Gloria): No. I know you—
Amanda (as Troy): Strawberry?
Eric (as Gloria): I mean, you can get one of those. Yes, maybe strawberry. But, you know, I need like a good one, I need a good one. And, you know, it's— I don't need one— I don't need something for all of it. I just need one of each.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, alright.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah. Yeah. So—
Julia (as Cammie): Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Do you ever think about how a strawberry is wearing the inside on the outside? What's up with that?
Eric (as Gloria): It's wi— it's wild. Also, I love strawberries. [gross eating noise]
Eric: She just bites and bites into a strawberry.
Julia: She's like a big turtle.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: So cute.
Eric: So here's the deal, if you upgrade Gloria's workshop—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —the— the— for dramatic, and you bring Gloria something red, or something juicy, or something seeded, or something sweet. For each one of those things, they can make one of you a new a weapon.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Hell yes.
Brandon: That's awesome.
Julia: That's pretty tight, dawg.
Eric: Here's a fun fact, you're right. I just took adjectives from a strawberry and now you have to get the other one.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Reminder, the other thing is if the more of this thing that you get, the more likely this thing will be tight.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: So if you get something that's like an apple, tough, maybe. If it's a really good apple, maybe it'll be better. So it's like it's up to you to bring this thing, because Gloria still feeling a little fuzzy on how to make something good. So you gotta get—
Julia: Sure, sure.
Eric: —something close to it.
Amanda: Gonna inspire her.
Julia: If the thing hits more adjectives, is that more likely that it is going to be better as well?
Eric: Not necessary— no. I would say not necessarily.
Julia: Okay. Okay. Like if I brought her a strawberry, it wouldn't be as good as like the reddest apple?
Eric: No, because it's one item per—per thingy.
Brandon: Cool, cool.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Okay, okay. Cool, cool. cool.
Eric: Alright, that's two.
Amanda: That’s so cool.
Julia: So we should also do shipshape.
Brandon: Do we want to do attack HP or Harold?
Julia: Do we know what the Harold bonus is? Like, would you tell us what the bonus is before we spend the money on it?
Eric: Yeah. Harold, as an NPC, would get buffed. And also the special move during ship combat would also be improved.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: Which is him catching the cannonball?
Eric: Yeah. Which would be—
Brandon: Correct.
Eric: —which would be a defensive move, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. If our opponent wins on a rock, we get to go again, which is pretty strong.
Julia: Uh-hmm. I think it would be useful to have that twice in a combat. I think that does take the place of like having the ship HP improved. Right now, our HP is 4.
Brandon: So I think we're going with HP. Yeah, I think you're right. I think having that defensive buff would be good.
Julia: Alright. So let's do the Harold bonus.
Eric: Okay. Harold, Harold, Harold,
Julia: We love him. We want him to be happy.
Eric: Hell yeah. Nice.
Amanda (as Troy): Harold, do you like the— my— my pumpy?
Eric (as Harold): I do like the pumpy. I like it so much.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, thanks.
Eric (as Harold): Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat.
Julia (as Cammie): Sil, do you also like the puppy?
Eric (as Sil): I also like the puppy. Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright, gentle with the pats.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright. Yeah, I'll prove Harold's bonuses.
Julia: Woo.
Eric: Harold and Sil will get some buffs, and I'll— I'll modify that move before you do ship combat again.
Amanda: Tight.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: For sure.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Just from being— you know, it turns out that being working on a real ship and also being alive for more than a few minutes did— does a lot of— you got a lot of experience.
Julia: That's true.
Amanda (as Troy): Sil, I relate so much.
Eric: And what is your final— what's your final amber?
Brandon: The doctor.
Eric: Doctor?
Julia: Doctor, doctor.
Eric: You want to be me— medical?
Brandon: Can you say more about the naturalist and a Black Hat?
Eric: Sure. For the naturalist, I think that Havana gets into nature, maybe gets a little crunchy, and uses the power of plants to provide your lives.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: A Black Hat, Havana goes down a dark path. And well, we'll see when we get there. And medical is that Havana actually finishes— he looks at and studies books, and becomes like a straight-up, straightforward doctor, doctor.
Brandon: I vote emo.
Julia: No. That's a terrible idea.
Amanda: Oh, my God. I vote naturalist because that feels complimentary with Cammie's expertise and feels—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —like he could grow you know, alongside and with Cammie. Plus— but we're gonna see all kinds of weird-ass Greenfolk in the future, and that may help with understanding them.
Julia: I agree. I agree. I think the naturalist is the way to go between those two. Brandon, I made the wrong mistake with the religious one. I'm not going to make the same mistake where at the end of the campaign, Havana goes, "Actually, Audrey has some good ideas."
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: "Let me join that side."
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: I'm not gonna go, "Oh, yeah, let's push him towards the necromancy bad guy that—"
Amanda: Choice, yeah.
Julia: "—has been here since the beginning."
Brandon: That's fine, we don't have to do emo, but I would actually vote for medical among those two because I think— Havana was annoying when he had a god. Can you imagine how annoying he's going to be when he's a hippie?
Julia: I think that's way more fun, to be honest, than having him just be a doctor. Let Eric make fun choices.
Brandon: Well, I tried to— I tried to give him emo, you said no.
Eric: I'm gonna make fun—
Amanda: It's gonna be fun both ways, yeah.
Eric: I'm gonna make fun choices. I know that medical seems the most vanilla, but Havana might actually, you know, be competent— may— might be a competent person, but we'll see.
Amanda: You know, I think, ultimately, for me the right choice for Havana's character feels like medical. It feels like he kind of backtrack to, like, the comfort of book learning and things that have nothing to do with, like, woo-wooness whatsoever. So as fun as I think nationalist would be, that would be my choice.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Yeah, that— that would be my choice, I think. If we have to cut Black Hat.
Julia: We have to cut Black Hat.
Amanda: We do. We do, Brandon. We do.
Julia: We simply can.
Amanda: We simply can. Sorry, oops, I rolled— no, no, it's cut.
Eric: Alright, medical. All of you are hanging out backstage at the— at the puppet show, striking the set, taking drinks from a bottle that has seven Xs on it.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's the good shit.
Eric (as Havana): You know—
Amanda (as Troy): Strong stuff.
Eric (as Havana): You know, I'm thinking maybe I should go back to school.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah?
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Like as a state of mind?
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Like— yeah, as a state of mind. No, I don't want to actually go back there. Well, like, what if—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, good. I got really worried there.
Eric (as Havana): You know, I— I didn't get through all of medical school. and Troy— ever since Troy keeps calling me a male a doctor, like maybe I should—
Amanda (as Troy): Okay. Only if it was relevant context—
Eric (as Havana): But— and— you know, maybe I should be— I'm not actually a male doctor. I'm a male medical student. And maybe one day, I should just be— actually be a doctor.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's a good point.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): And so I can sew you all up, and you all seem like you're going to die.
Brandon (as Umbi): Rude.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.
Eric (as Havana): And before I thought the Planter was going to stop it, turns out not.
Amanda (as Troy): Nah.
Eric (as Havana): And, you know, that I can— I'll read bo— Troy, we can read books together.
Amanda (as Troy): I would love that.
Eric (as Havana): And hi—
Amanda (as Troy): Wait, hang on, I thought of something great.
Eric (as Havana): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): What if when you need to, like, learn what different words mean. I say the word, and then you tell me, but I check in the book, and I tell you if you're right or wrong.
Julia (as Cammie): Wow.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's brilliant.
Amanda (as Troy): What a great idea. That's called studying.
Eric (as Havana): Are you the first person to come up with that?
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yes. Yes.
Eric (as Havana): That's incredible.
Julia: Cammie shakes her head behind Troy.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm older, I say yes.
Eric (as Havana): That's— that's wild. Yeah, no, that sounds good. I mean, I could like— I have all these— but— yeah. I think after our time that we've been doing this, I think I'm ready to, you know, get back into it. Now that I have real people supporting me in my medical field.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, bud.
Julia (as Cammie): Aw.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): If you want to, also we could go back to your medical college and plunder and murder them if you want, your old friends.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Always an option.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's always an option, it's on the table.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, just say the word, or even just frankly kind of give me like a look with some intent behind it—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): —and then we'll go.
Eric (as Havana): No, I don't want to go back there. Maybe another time.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): That's alright, man. Your journey your pace.
Eric (as Havana): Sounds fun.
Amanda (as Troy): Where— where was that doctor school, by the way?
Eric (as Havana): Oh, God. They put it— they put it on the border of two countries because no one wanted to admit that they had an all-male medical school.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Havana): So it's kind of in a no man's—
Julia (as Cammie): So, is it like—
Eric (as Havana): Well, it was like—
Julia (as Cammie): Is it like—
Eric (as Havana): —it was like in between Hothouse and Open Fields, but then it was on the lawn—
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Havana): It was right against the Cascade—
Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Havana): —which is how I got through— I got through in there the first place.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Havana): So it was kind of international waters—
Julia (as Cammie): Gotcha.
Eric (as Havana): —at all times.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Havana): That's why they call it International Waters Medical School. Ou— Our Lady of International Waters Medical.
Julia: And then this specific school that he went to was called whatever Amanda has pronounced.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Amanda: We called it Weeping Willows Med.
Eric: Oh, that's funny.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. It was—
Julia: That's also good.
Eric (as Havana): It was International Waters Hospital, and I went to the Weeping Wi— the Weeping Willows Memorial Male—
Julia (as Cammie): Medical school, yeah.
Eric (as Havana): —Doctor College.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): I'll show those guys some weeping.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. So first things first, I'm going to— we're gonna have to— I'll do physicals.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Physical, like?
Julia (as Cammie): You gotta do push-ups in front of Havana.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. So everyone—
Amanda: Troy's doing 100 push-ups—
Eric (as Havana): Alright.
Amanda: —already.
Eric (as Havana): Okay, that's good. Okay. Now, everyone—
Julia (as Cammie): Great job, Troy.
Eric (as Havana): Everyone tell me how often they poop?
Julia (as Cammie): Twice a day.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't think I've done that in 40 years.
Amanda (as Troy): Once, but more when I'm scared.
Eric (as Havana): Okay. How many glasses of water do you drink?
Amanda (as Troy): Huh?
Julia (as Cammie): So many. Mostly tea though, does that count?
Eric (as Havana): It does.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): I haven't had water since—
Eric: The Reagan Administration.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia: Brandon, roll your D100 yet?
Eric: Yeah.
[theme]