Get outta the way if you’re by the Big Hill: the pirates got nothing better to do than chase their leftovers down it, over and over and over and over again.
Rollin! Rollin! Rollin the whole world round / Better as a wheel, worse than a meal! / And we roll the cheese right down!
What do you do with a thorny dragon? What do you do with a thorny dragon? What do you do with a thorny dragons sucking up the greenfolk?
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
[theme]
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. "The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire." This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: The crew survived the first emergence of the Blackberry dragon with Cammie and Troy swimming as fast as they can away from the top, and Umbi on the ground with Kid Cervantes holding on only by a bramble bomb. After that harrowing ordeal, the three come back together and get oriented by Tumbleweed also named Bramble. Bramble gives them a map of where they're being kept. A slice of what seems to be a city called South Kompos City. First stop to figure out how they're going to get out of there, they check out the Big Hill. As a mob of imprisoned pirates are running after a wheel of cheese. Get out of the way before you get limburgered. Let's get the party started. Brandon, can you go into your big box of music and find something that's pretty jaunty and '80s? Maybe something with some keytar.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: But also like remind people that this is a dirge because they're in a prison at the same time, and trying to find some sort of semblance of feeling like a real Greenfolk by running down a hill, chasing cheese.
Brandon: So like Chopin remixed by The Cure?
Eric: Yeah. Oh, honestly, that would be really good.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Ooh. Okay, okay.
Brandon: Okay, okay.
Eric: If you could just take a simulacrum of a Cure song and then speed it up by 50%, and then add keytar to it.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Robert— Robert Smith would be okay with that, right?
Brandon: Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. He would—
Eric: Yeah. Can you check with Robert Smith and see if it's okay?
Julia: Call him up, Brandon.
Brandon: Robert!
Eric: Robert.
Brandon: Robert!
Julia: He lives in Brandon's closet along with me.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah. He said Tuesdays I'm in love (Join the Party comes out that day)
Amanda: So true, bestie.
Eric: Yeah. So the three of you are walking up to the Big Hill in the remains of South Kompos City. A reel of cheese is barreling down this hill and 20— and this is where that song comes in Brandon. 20 Greenfolk are running after the cheese tumbling and over, and in most cases, floating through the weird salinity liquid. And as the cheese is making a beeline directly for the three of you, you hear—
Eric (as Maple Tree): Oy, get out of the way. You're in my line! You're in my line!
Brandon (as Umbi): What? Okay. Uh—
Julia (as Cammie): Why there is cheese?
Eric: And breaking from the front of the pack, it is a maple tree Greenfolk. The majority of their upper torso is split down the middle, so they have one eye on one side of the split and another eye on the other eye— on the other split.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Yeah. And there is an eyepatch on both of those eyes.
Amanda: Excellent.
Julia: How does he see?
Eric: You jus— you just feel it, Julia. You got to follow the ley line. The line they were talking about were ley lines.
Julia: Okay. Alright. Interesting.
Brandon: There is a grilled cheese truck in New York City that I used to get lunch from all the time, where they would put like maple syrup on the bread, and then griddle it, and you've made me very hungry, Eric.
Eric: And Brandon, that ooze is what's inside of the split of this Greenfolk.
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: There's a lot of oohs going on in there. He's wearing tattered— like real tattered pirate pants, rips in the knees and below, and like the ends of the pants are just totally gone. No shoes, no shirt, just running—
Julia: No service.
Eric: —just running— running past. The Maple Tree Greenfolk lays out, curls their long body around the cheese, and keeps it in place with the ooze of their split.
Eric (as Captain Graft): That's another one for me. Put it on the big board.
Eric (as Maple tree): Okay.
Eric: And then you see there's like someone has pounded a sign into the ground and someone makes another tally mark next to Captain Graft.
Brandon: Captain Graft? Oh, I love that.
Julia: Oh, 'cause he— like he's a grafted tree.
Eric: There it is.
Julia: I love it.
Eric: It's all pun— 48 episodes in, it's all puns all the way down, Julia.
Julia: I love it.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I don't know what else y'all got to do down here. Maybe you should spend fe— maybe you should spend the majority of your time not cowering from the Blackberry dragon practicing. Just follow whatever you want. Just, like, throw something and then chase it, because I— I can't keep winning. I can't keep winning like this. I can't.
Julia (as Cammie): Hi, Captain Graft. I'm Cammie. What's up? Avast Ye.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Spratlings, nice to see you. Nice to meet you. You'll get used to it. Just watch what's happening. We're going to do another one in five. Just— you know, you could just get to the— get to the top if you want to play.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Captain Graft): But, you know, I mean, it's kind of like a— is a pickup game system, where— it's like a pickup game system where, like, whoever wants to jump in could jump in.
Julia (as Cammie): Where—
Brandon (as Umbi): I can just do this? You just do—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. We— we're just doing it.
Brandon (as Umbi): You can just do it? Guys, I want to do it. Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): Where— Umbi, one sec, one sec, I have questions.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, I want to do it.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh, yeah, no, we just do it.
Julia (as Cammie): Hey, so we're new here, obviously.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Where are you getting wheels of cheese, like full wheels of cheese? That's a big wheel of cheese.
Eric: Captain Graft moves an eyepatch around to get a better look at Umbi, be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): You know, things— you think things don't change around here, but I didn't know that they— I didn't know they were throwing old people into the old underwa— they are throwing such old people—
Brandon (as Umbi): Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Eric (as Captain Graft): —down in the underwater prison. Wow. The— the mercy— the sweet mercy of the Diamond Knot—
Brandon (as Umbi): What—
Eric (as Captain Graft): —just extends to so many different directs
Brandon (as Umbi): What The Fuck? Cammie is like 25 at most.
Julia (as Cammie): Also, I was the one talking to you. You didn't have to insult Umbi while I'm asking questions.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I wasn't a be— I was—
Eric: Be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, well, we don't have a lot of stuff to work with here. So we just take the stuff from the from the food drop-off and we— we take the— we take the rolly stuff and we throw it all into a box. And we kind of shake it up. And then we—
Brandon: Take the roundest food.
Eric (as Captain Graft): We take the roundest things we can get our hands on before it gets all sucked up and then we put it into— we pull it out of the box and then it all—and then it rolls out.
Amanda (as Troy): Is all the food cheese? Because cheese makes my tummy hurt.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I— a large amount of the food is cheese, but you can ask And maybe they'll change it. They probably won't. There is other stuff, though.
Amanda (as Troy): Hmm. Okay.
Eric (as Captain Graft): There's a lot of— there's just a lot of the stuff.
Amanda (as Troy): Don't worry. I won't be here long. I'm gonna break us all out of prison.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright, spratling. Good. Thank— good— good thought. Good thought.
Amanda (as Troy): Close, it's Riptide. Troy Riptide. Nice to meet you.
Julia (as Cammie): So they're giving you so much excess food that you can take the round stuff and play with it?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, that's about right.
Julia (as Cammie): Huh.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I don't know what— what about—what about chasing round food down Big Hill? Am I not making that clear?
Brandon (as Umbi): No, you are. Let's fucking go.
Julia (as Cammie): No, you are. I'm just curious about the conditions here because, again, we're new.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh, you're new. I always forget that there's— there's new people. I didn't even see— I didn't see all of you tumble out of the— the— the sky hole, so I would have been able to figure— figure it out.
Julia (as Cammie): Is that how they usually put people in here? Is they tumble out of the giant sky hole like through the cave entrance?
Brandon (as Umbi): If you need to imagine it in your head what it look like when we did come down, it was like— imagine, like, throwing a wheel of cheese down a hill.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, but I— just imagine you went like, "Ouch, ooch, ouch, ooch, ouch, ooch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ooch, ouch."
Brandon (as Umbi): Ooch, ouch, ooch, ooch, ooch, ouch.
Eric (as Captain Graft): — while you did it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. Yeah, probably.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. Alright, can we— let's— I want to set up at the to— over the top of the hill while we're doing this. Can we go up the hill? Can we walk up—
Brandon (as Umbi): As long as you answered Cammie's question.
Eric (as Captain Graft): As long— once it gets set up as we're doing it. We're— let's do it.
Eric: It's like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright, guys. We're doing another one. We're doing another one in a few. Come on, come on.
Eric: And you're— you're trudging up the Big Hill as Captain Graft talks to you about this.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. I mean, the majority of people coming down through the big sky hole some people get brought in through the big doors. But, you know, it's— it's mostly sky— mostly sky hole, top hole, up hole. I— we never agreed on a— on a term, one of the— one of those three works. If you have a better one, let me know.
Julia (as Cammie): You must be really special to get brought in through the big doors rather than chucked through the sky hole.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. Here's the thing, which I did not realize— oh, wait, did you get thrown through the sky? Did you get thrown through the up hole?
Amanda (as Troy): He jumped, and we jumped.
Brandon (as Umbi): I jumped.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh. Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): What— what was that mean?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh, well, you know.
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Julia (as Cammie): We don't know, we're new. Assume we know nothing.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Okay. You know— hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): It's like we're in a barrel.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Well, you know— I mean, I don't want to make an assumption about why the three of you are here, and while all the people around here are here, but you know— you know, some people got stuck here just 'cause. Like, they didn't— they didn't know. So you didn't get thrown in here?
Amanda (as Troy): No, we're enemies of the Diamond Knot, though. That's why we're gonna break everybody out here.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I mean, we all— yeah, for sure. That's what we all are. We're all here because for whatever reason we got put in here. But, you know, it's more like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Why did you get put in here?
Eric (as Captain Graft): I did it to myself.
Amanda (as Troy): You jumped in, too?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. I heard there was a— I heard that there was an opening to— you know, with a bunch of treasure in here at some— at some government facility. And there was a hole and I went in. And now I've been here ever since.
Amanda (as Troy): So how many prison breaks have you orchestrated, or attempted, or participated in?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Let's see. This many.
Eric: And Captain Graft holds up like four leaves.
Julia (as Cammie): That's not bad. That's not bad.
Amanda (as Troy): So can you tell me what went wrong with each one so I can make sure I do not make the same mistakes with mine?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh, probably because you— no one can break out of here and they've thought of everything. And everything's really good and hard. And the Diamond Knot is able to keep everything under control.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, but no one's had a prince do it yet. So don't worry about. It's gonna be okay.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I don't know why someone would have a prince do it, but if that is— is that like a maneuver, like the prince?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, it should be.
Julia (as Cammie): It should be.
Amanda (as Troy): How about it's when you like— when you, like, shoot an arrow, but you look really cool while you do it? That's the prince.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's when you play a really tight guitar solo?
Julia (as Cammie): Oh.
Amanda (as Troy): What's a guitar? Yeah, no, I'm— I'm Prince Troyvides Riptide from the Crags. Don't worry about it.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright.
Amanda (as Troy): And I'm gonna get us all out of here.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. Cool. And I'm not stuck in a— and I'm— I'm not stuck in a terrible prison, and made a mistake, and every— and my crew is waiting for me. And my crew is definitely waiting for me, and they haven't moved on without me. And it's not something I think about all the time.
Amanda (as Troy): That's really good.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): I love that for you, man.
Julia (as Cammie): Here's the thing, you can believe he's the prince and, like, you know, then he'll help you escape, or you cannot believe it, and you'll still be stuck here in the same situation.
Amanda (as Troy): Which, honestly, as far as prisons go, a pretty good one guys, no? Like, I've been— I've been in smaller and worse prisons than this one.
Julia (as Cammie): You have?
Brandon (as Umbi): I've never been in prison in my entire life.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Not in at Guest of Honor getting a tour of other—
Julia (as Cammie): Right. Cool.
Eric (as Captain Graft): It's diff— that's a little different. I think you gotta lead with that.
Amanda (as Troy): I did. I told you I was a prince.
Julia (as Cammie): He's got a point.
Amanda (as Troy): Anyway, so what went wrong? In each of your prison breaks? So I— I can make sure I do it right this time.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. I mean, I— I attempted four times and each times, it was foiled.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. So you went through the door, through the hole—
Eric (as Captain Graft): And I couldn't— and I couldn't do and I couldn't— and that's what happened. Alright, we're gonna do—we're gonna run it again. We're running it again. We're doing it again. Alright, everyone line out, everybody stay behind the line. I'm— I'll see, I will see if you're— if— if you— you— if you move too fast, I'll know, and I'll be upset.
Eric: Up at the— now they're here at the top of the hill, you can see everything that South Kompos City has to offer, which is nothing. There's like two rocks and, like, someone's pulled a line in the ground up here at the top of the hill. Yeah. Again, there's like 15, 20 Greenfolk who are kind of crowding around. Maybe they're like pushing you and squeezing you a little bit as they're trying to get good position. Everyone has their foot on the line. Captain Graft goes over to a big chest. It's just kind of like an old wooden chest. It's not ornamental or— or interesting or anything. There's like big chains around it, holding it down to the crowd. And inside, be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. We're— let's see what we're—what are we gonna do for this one?
Brandon: So is it one wheel of cheese that everyone chases, or is it everyone has their own wheel of cheese that they chase?
Eric: Be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright, here are the rules for the new—for the new folks. You throw it, it rolls down the hill, everyone— whoever grabs it, wins. And then you get a tally on the big— and then you get a tally on the big board, and we stave off boredom for another ti— for another few minutes. Hey, hey.
Eric: And everyone goes, "Aaah, staving off boredom."
Brandon (as NPC): Yeah. Whoa. Yay.
Eric (as NPC): Yay.
Brandon (as NPC): I hate it.
Eric (as NPC): I lov— I— I love not thinking about what's happening for a moment, and all of my choices.
Brandon (as NPC): Life is monotonous and tedious. Hey.
Eric (as NPC): But not when I'm a rolling down this hill.
Eric: Brandon, why don't you give me a D— a D10 roll for a second?
Brandon: A D 10 roll? Okay.
Eric: A D10.
Amanda: An underused D.
Brandon: 3.
Eric: That was good. Julia, give me a D4 roll.
Julia: [dice roll] A 1.
Eric: A 1. Alright. Captain Graft rummages around in the big box and pulls out a little wheel of cheese. It's about the size of, I think, like a softball or a bocce ball. You know, it's like kind of— it fits— fits nicely in a handbag.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh, we got a small one. Keep your eye on it. Okay. Here we go.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. So don't— you don't move until the wheel— the cheese is thrown. And again, if you do, I'll be upset at you, so—
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, is it when the cheese is thrown? Like, when it leaves the hand or when it hits the ground do we start running?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Good— good— good question.
Brandon (as Umbi): Or the top of the par— parabola, you know?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Now, you said a word I didn't understand, so I'm going to take it as disrespect. Please wait your turn.
Julia: I don't understand the question, and I refuse to engage with it.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Once the— one— once the wheel of cheese hits the ground, then you can start going. But I'm not gonna—
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay. Cool.
Eric (as Captain Graft): —be a jerk about it, so it's gonna stay— it's gonna roll near— I'm gonna do a good— a good— a good throw, unlike what— unlike what Maurice did. And that's why Maurice isn't allowed to throw anymore.
Eric (as Maurice): Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have done that.
Amanda: Maurice learned from his mistake.
Eric (as Maurice): I have. I've been in prison for a long time.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Thanks, Maurice. Alright, so I'm going to toss it and then we're all gonna chase after.
Brandon (as Umbi): Wait, wait. One more question.
Julia: So many questions about a very simple topic.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yes. What?
Brandon (as Umbi): What is the stance on cheating and using like weapons and/or magic to defeat your enemies here?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Okay. If— sure. Yeah, go— go ahead. Whatever you want.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, cool.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Okay.
Brandon: Umbi turns to the person next to him and says—
Brandon (as Umbi): Can you hold this for a second?
Brandon: And he gives him a time bomb.
Eric (as NPC): Oh, thanks. It's another circular thing I could practice with it.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: How long does it take for it to go off?
Brandon: Well, in this instance, however long the comedy is best for.
Eric: Okay, great.
Julia: I didn't realize that that was the mechanics of the game.
Brandon: It's up to one minute, though.
Eric: That Greenfolk is gonna take the bomb and just like put it in— in like inside pocket, but they're wearing just a vest, so I don't know where they put it.
Julia: Fair.
Eric: So it just like goes away.
Brandon: Okay, cool.
Eric: Be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. 3, 2, 1, flip!
Eric: The tiny wheel of cheese goes end over end over end, and lands on the ground. [action noises] Chase after the cheese.
Amanda: Wee!.
Brandon: Woo!
Amanda: Troy chased them.
Brandon: Did I expect that today I'd be chasing a wheel of cheese? Yes, but not in Dungeons and Dragons.
Julia: Do we need to roll anything? What's happening here?
Eric: Yeah. So what we're going to do, Brandon, it's been over an hour so the fact that you OD'd on oxygen, Umbi had adjusted do it. You can wipe that, you can fully wipe that away.
Brandon: Great.
Eric: The way that we're going to do this is all you got to do is succeed on three strength checks before anybody else.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: That's it. I'm gonna keep track of everyone else doing this, but you just got to run down the hill. So the way that the hill works is that it's kind of lumpy, so as you go down, it gets steeper and steeper, and the cheese goes faster and faster.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So the—
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: —longer that the cheese rolls, the harder it is to grab it.
Amanda: Now, Eric, are you sure this is not an athletics check? A skill in which I have proficiency?
Brandon: I was gonna ask that same exact question. Are you sure?
Eric: It can be— yeah, sure. Do an athletics check, do whatever.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Julia: Cammie's gonna cast the hex tremors at the top of the hill.
Amanda: On—
Eric: Great.
Amanda: —what?
Julia: An action you can create a small quake. Each creature on the ground within 10 feet of you must succeed in a dexterity saving throw or be knocked prone.
Amanda: Damn, Cammie. Well, here we go.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: And somebody didn't want to play.
Julia: Cammie still doesn't want to play.
Amanda: Alright.
Julia: She thinks this is dumb.
Amanda: A saving throw, no?
Julia: Yep.
Eric: I want the cheese to have hit the ground and then Cammie's like—
Julia (as Cammie): [cackles]
Eric: —ha— Cammie— everyone has made their first step forward, like we— we are— we— the slow motion in the Olympics.
Amanda: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Right? Like, we're watching— I don't know if you— like speed skaters or sprinters, like, come off the block and we're seeing it in incredibly slow motion.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And everyone's taking their first step. And then Cammie is just like—
Julia (as Cammie): [sighs]
Eric: [sighs] Then— then everything quakes.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: 16 for Troy.
Julia: Alright, Troy passes.
Brandon: 4 plus 7 for an 11.
Julia: Nope, fails.
Brandon: Does evasion work if I'm not taking damage?
Eric : No, you just fall over.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Yeah. Well, half of the other competitors, half of the other prisoners just falling— just absolutely fall on their butts.
Julia: Uh-huh. Cool.
Eric: All of— they're scrambling— scrambling to get— to get going. This is— this is conniving.
Julia: Thank you.
Brandon: This is like in Mario Kart when you miss— you're— like— when half of the people miss the boost at the beginning and just spin out instead.
Eric: Yeah, it's like— like, Julia turned off the TV as soon as it went 3, 2, 1.
Amanda: Julia's hex worked?
Eric: Yeah, Julia's hex worked.
Julia: Yeah, my hex has canonically worked, but my spells do not get it.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: So what does it look like when you use your hexes?
Julia: So the hex is specifically radiate because they require a sound and laughter.
Eric: Hmm. Sure.
Julia: Because of the cackle, the witch's cackle. So I think Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): [cackles]
Julia: And then it, like, spreads out like Banshee in X-Men, Brandon, where it, like—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: You know, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah. I think it really picks up, especially with the oxygen— with the extra oxygen in this liquid.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: it really kind of like radiates out like a physics experiment.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Great.
Eric: So half of them fall over. One of them goes—
Eric (as NPC): Ow! I landed on my bomb.
Amanda: That’s not the ow you got to worry about, brother.
Eric (as NPC): Ow, it hurt. It got all up in my— my— it got all up in my armpit meat.
Brandon: Gross.
Eric: But— but a bun — but a bunch of them still are able to get off the block there and make their first rolls. So everyone make strength or athletic checks, or I guess you can make dexterity checks, too. Whatever is highest. You all run in your own way.
Brandon: I fell over, so what do I do with that?
Julia: You have to use your— half your movement to get up from prone.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Yeah. So if you're— if you're prone, you have to do it with disadvantage because you got to spend your good roll on getting— on getting up.
Brandon: Okay, cool.
Julia: I rolled a 17 surprisingly.
Eric: All right.
Amanda: 19 for Troy in acrobatics. I think he misses the tremor because he's doing a showy little flip—
Julia: That feels right.
Amanda: —down the hill.
Eric: Hmm. That's smart. Brandon, what do you got?
Brandon: I got a 14 plus 3 for a 17, but I would also maybe like to use a teleportation bomb to just sort of like— my plan here is a sort of bamph Nightcrawler style down the hill.
Eric: Interesting.
Brandon: With like a— a series of three bombs, you know?
Eric: Okay. So I think that you have to throw— I guess you throwing the bomb would be your action, though.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Before we do this, I'm gonna ask you, do you want to throw your bomb in the air, or do you want to try to run down the hill?
Brandon: I would like to throw my bomb in the air.
Eric: You would like— like to throw your bomb in the air? Great.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Okay, so here's what happens. Cammie, Troy, you got a quick start off the block especially because everyone went [cartoon falling noise] before— before that. A few people get off the block as well. Captain Graft is able to scramble forward. There's also a murder hornet Greenfolk.
Brandon: Oh no.
Eric: There's a— there's a bunch of Brussels sprouts that— that are tumbling down—
Amanda: Which is more intimidating?
Julia: Depends on your stomach issues, I suppose.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Depends on the decade. And if they thought that genetic engineering thing what made Brussels sprouts taste good.
Eric: No, it was before that.
Amanda: Aah!
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: No, they taste bad.
Brandon: No.
Eric: There is a patch of poppies. There's, like, a full— like— you know, we had— we've had one by one squares of grass and of multiple form. So there's like a one by one big square of poppies that are getting out— getting off the block and a bushel of wolfsbane is catching up as well. All of them have one success. Here's what happens, Umbi, you throw your bomb up in the air.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Ready to bamph.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And what is your bamphing position?
Brandon: I mean, ideally, it's just like— you know, it's like a [grunts]— like a— like a beautiful Greco Roman Olympi—
Julia: Olympian?
Brandon: Olympian.
Amanda: Brandon, you can just say the AOL man. That's what we're all thinking.
Eric: So when you're making the AOL Instant Messenger position, and you throw the bomb in the air, you make your [grunts position, and then the bomb just goes, "Bomp."
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: And that's when the other guy, who you gave the bomb to, throws the other time bomb at your head, being like—
Eric (as NPC): You could have this back. I don't want it, it hurt.
Eric: Neither of those bombs go off.
Brandon: Huh. Okay, that's good, at least but—
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah. Also take one point of damage for getting hit in the head with a neuro bomb.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Nice.
Amanda: Are all weapons neutralized? Interesting.
Brandon: Must be something— well, no, because it's not magic.
Julia: But it's not magic.
Brandon: It's alchemical, so I don't know.
Julia: I don't know.
Eric: If you have a question, feel free— you can roll or send me $5 on Venmo.
Brandon: Can I roll instead of that— that latter thing?
Eric: You can make whichever— you can make whichever choice.
Brandon: Can I make an arcana check?
Eric: Yeah, make an Arcana check.
Julia: Can I also? I'm just curious.
Eric: No. No, no, no.
Julia: No?
Eric: No.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Because you're too busy ra— you're— you've already ran away and you were too busy—
Julia: My skirts are up, I'm running.
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Brandon: Well, Eric?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I got a 1.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Plus 8 is 9.
Eric: Interesting.
Julia: I think it's still a 1, regardless of what the plus is.
Eric: I don't know, man. You— usually, when you give someone a bomb for comedy, it blows up in their face hilariously, and that didn’t work at all.
Brandon (as Umbi): I know, right?
Eric: Yeah. I don't know.
Brandon (as Umbi): What the fuck?
Eric: Yeah. I don't know. Do you— so do you want to run down the hill afterwards?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. Cool. Well, everyone, including Umbi, still— is getting— is trying to pick themselves up and run after this.
Julia: I like they were doing this competition where the stakes are, I think, bragging rights.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. A 100%.
Julia: And that's about it. Cool.
Eric: Yeah. So there's five people plus Cammie, plus Troy who have won success, who's running pretty quickly down the hill as the small wheel of cheese starting to tumble, but it is picking up speed. Give me another check. Give me another run after the cheese check.
Julia: [dice roll] Ooh, an 18.
Eric: Alright, here we go.
Julia: Damn.
Amanda: Love it .Dirty 20 for Amanda.
Eric: Let's go.
Brandon: 6.
Julia: Good job, buddy.
Eric: Alright. The people who are still at the starting line, rolled a two and a three.
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Eric: So everyone— Umbi— it's like Umbi, you're standing in front of everyone, and now the majority of the— of these people are just getting all tangled up.
Amanda: They tripped over their shoelaces twice.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Aw. Poor babies.
Eric (as NPC): That's the new old guy. He'll give you free stuff.
Brandon (as Umbi): Should we just go over to that box and have a picnic or what—
Eric: No. You're in the bottom of a dogpile. Everybody's like on top of each other.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Brandon: I'm sorry, everyone is—
Brandon (as Umbi): Should we just go over to that box and have a picnic or—
Amanda: Join the Party, never AI generated, practical effects only.
Eric: Practical effects only.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Alright. So as you're running down the hill, the wolfsbane and the poppies get all tangled up. Luckily, the Brussel sprouts have curled up into a ball of themselves and are speeding down the hill—
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: —as well as Captain Graft is making a beeline and he's really coming up with goopy hands and goopy legs coming up quickly on the cheese, but Cammie and Troy are right up behind him.
Brandon: You just must be very goopy to be goopy while you're still underwater.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Oh, it's a lot of ooze, it's a lot of ooze.
Julia: That's 'cause—
Eric: The murder hornet is coming up behind the four of you, but it's like a horror movie situation, getting chased by— by Jason.
Julia: No.
Eric: It's more— it's more terrifying than it is the murder hornet is participating in any sort of way. Just—
Julia: Yeah, it sucks.
Eric: Just seven feet tall hulking murder hornet with like— with— what would be the scariest thing the grow out of this thing? Usually, like, with cracks in their carapace with moss growing—
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: —out of it.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: It's gross. It's gross and weird.
Julia: I hate that. Gross.
Eric: Gross and weird. Being like—
Eric (as Murder Hornet): Do not want to murder. Just want cheese.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you for— for assuaging our fears about that.
Amanda (as Troy): Let— let them have it, guys.
Eric: Captain Graft was like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Absolutely not. I'm getting another one. I'm getting two in a row.
Eric: And the— the Brussel sprouts are just tumbling behind.
Amanda: Not if I get there first.
Eric: Yeah. Umbi, what do you want to do?
Brandon: What I want to do, Eric, is I want to drag myself out of this dogpile and then roll an investigation check to see if there's anything that is interesting around the top of the hill here that we should be looking at as opposed to chasing the wheel of cheese?
Eric: Yeah, absolutely. Can you make a strength check really quickly to get out of the dogpile?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I can. Natural fucking 20.
Julia: Oh, now you get it.
Brandon: I just burst out like fucking Vegeta or something.
Julia: Umbi splits a man in half to get out from beneath that dogpile.
Eric (as Bush): Hey, this new old guy is so strong. Hey— alright. Okay.
Brandon: I— I ripped a bush in half and there's— the leaves are, like, falling on me like blood.
Amanda: Amazing.
Eric: Yeah. The two bush halves are like—
Eric (as Bush): Hey, man, come on. I need that.
Brandon: And then I rolled a 15 investigation check.
Eric: Sure. Investigation check. You— so you can look in the box. I'll tell you what's in the box. Majority of wheels of cheese of different sizes. There's a watermelon in there. There's—
Brandon: That's not cheese.
Eric: There's a giant banana, like a rea— like a— a banana the size of a baby in there.
Brandon: Not round, either.
Julia: Not round, either.
Eric: There's a coconut and a—
Brandon: The devil's fruit.
Julia: Correct.
Eric: And there's— and then you get pinched because a crab got in as well. It's a— it turns out it was the coconut. It's a coconut crab.
Brandon: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Cute. It's cute.
Eric: Yeah. So watch out.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: So yeah, there are different— there's different stuff in there. These are like— this isn't good produce or good cheese as well. This definitely fits with what Captain Graft was saying. If this was being dropped off as surplus food for a prison, totally fits. They're not lying about that. That one's real.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: I think you all can— can get a really good survey of the— I know I was joking before, but you can get a good sense of how everything kind of fits together on this map. You can see everything from here, and it's pretty— I think you— especially after Captain Graft was talking so much about the sky hole, it's kind of interesting to see how the— the hole is oriented over the rest of the map.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So it's like you couldn't really see that from the map that Bramble put together for you because it's— it's 2D. But like the hole is like very, very close, directly above the dragon porthole.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Almost like someone intentionally dug this hole to drop you into the Blackberry dragon.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Out of the frying pan and into the bramble bush as it is.
Julia: Interesting.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah. So it's like, which was— we were kind of kicking this around, I think, a little bit before, but it's like, which came first, the dragon, or the city, or the hole? What's happening here? And it just kind of fits in with what Captain Graft was saying about how he just kind of found himself in town, because he heard there was something going on at this government facility and now he's here.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: Well, he's— he said treasure, but is that what we're to imply? Is it the, you know, quote-unquote, "something going on."?
Eric: Well, he heard— what he heard was that there was something in this cavern. He went in, he fell in, and now he's in the city.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: So it's like, you guys did the same thing. You walked into this cave, and now, all of a sudden, you're in this prison. Seems like the cave is a little bit of a honeypot.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Right, right.
Eric: Yeah. So that's what I'll give you with a 15.
Brandon: Cool. Hey, Eric?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Thank you.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: And then you look in your inventory, and you take the honey and the sandwich, and you combine it together with the fishing pole.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: And you can use it to figure out one of the puzzles.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: Instead, can I take the honey and the banana from the box and combine it with the bread and make a delicious sandwich?
Eric: Yes, but Putput eats it.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Oh.
Brandon: That happens.
Eric: Putput's like—
Eric (as Putput): Hmm. Yum. Thanks, Brandon.
Eric: Alright. Well, let's go back to the wonderful world of chasing after this cheese. We got five competitors still in here, our two wonderful PCs, and three of these prison pirates. Let's see what happens, the cheese is gathering speed, the murder hornet is bearing down on the four of you. The Brussels sprouts are maintaining velocity by trying to be frictionless and lossless by being a circular as possible. And Captain Graft is just hauling maple tree ass right now.
Julia: Do I want to fuck with them again?
Amanda: Nice. 17 for Troy.
Julia: Cammie's gonna cast another hex.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: This one's called Meyer.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: As an action, you can transform the ground within 30 feet of where you cast the hex into murky swamp, which is difficult terrain. You can move without penalty in this area. The effect lasts until the end of your next turn.
Eric: Alright. So you can do this. I don't know if you can bear down on the cheese while you're doing it.
Julia: Okay. I just want to slow everyone else down.
Eric: Alright. No, that's great. That's wonder— that's awesome.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Troy has a light-footed feet so difficult terrain costs me no extra movement, bitch.
Brandon: Ooh. Damn.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: Fair. Fair.
Eric: I love that. Yeah. Cammie, you're still keeping speed but you're not bearing down on the cheese anymore. So you're just like taking a nice jog down— down the hill as you're giggling and laughing. What do you want the difficult terrain to look like?
Julia: Candy.
Eric: Candy.
Julia: Like melted caramel.
Eric: Is Cammie a candy witch? You need to tell me.
Julia: No, but candy blast is so fun to use.
Eric: Like, you can turn it into a can— as swampy can. All of a sudden ,there's like a candy, sticky, swampy muck happening.
Julia: Yeah. I think it's just like the ground instead of turning into like quicksand or something, turns into melted caramel.
Eric: I love that. I love that.
Amanda: I wonder if that offends Captain Graft because he does create nature's caramel, maple syrup.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Damn.
Brandon: Damn.
Eric: Maybe Captain Graft is better on caramel.
Julia: Maybe.
Eric: Maybe.
Brandon: Maybe Captain Graft isn't very introspective because we've talked to him for five minutes and I don't think he is.
Julia: Cammie just yells after everyone who's trying to run through the caramel.
Julia (as Cammie): Work smarter, not harder.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh, no, big tree fall hard.
Eric: As the murder hornet is all stuck up in there. Also the Brussel sprouts straight rolling and then getting stuck. Like—
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: Oh, God that's just— that's just nasty. It's like watching a gumball run down a hill— fall downhill.
Julia: And then Cammie yells—
Julia (as Cammie): Go Troy!
Eric: Go Troy. Alright, Troy.
Amanda: Troy rolled a 17.
Eric: Alright.
Brandon: So hexes work, but my teleportation bomb and spells don't work.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: I need to Google.
Julia: Grugle, Grugle.
Eric: Troy, you're bearing down on the cheese. You are getting so close. You reach out your hand.
Amanda (as Troy): Come to papa.
Eric: You reach out your hand, you are so close, and then, oh, you feel something sticky.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Amanda (as Troy): No!
Julia: Big cheater.
Eric: As Captain Graft gets right in front of you, takes the hand, reaches into his ooze, sla— like wipes it on you. And with the other hand reaches out and palms the small wheel of cheese.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Another one for me, boys, rack it up. I want to go three in a row, even with these newbies. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Brandon: What a dick.
Amanda (as Troy): I— Troy, comport yourself like the royal you are.
Brandon (as Umbi): Kill 'em, Troy!
Amanda (as Troy): I judged your game for not being fun, but now having lost it, I realized there is nothing more I want in this world than to win that cheese.
Eric (as Captain Graft): You're just gonna have to go again. Unless you're a—
Eric: And Captain Graft go— is, like, nose-to-nose with you, chest to chest with you in the way that only large himbo men can be. Be like—
Amanda: Yes.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Well, are you going to do something about it? You're going to run down the hill again or are you going to— you're gonna take a swing at me, prince boy?
Amanda (as Troy): I'm gonna beat you fair and square within the rules you set out because cheap victory is no victory at all, punk.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I'll make it easier on you. I'll put an eyepatch over my good eye.
Eric: And he switches his eye patches.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa. Are they different? The— the patches? I know the eyes are different.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Wha— what? No, they're the same pa— they're the same patch.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh. Wow.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I have two of them.
Amanda (as Troy): Right. Okay. Never mind.
Eric (as Captain Graft): They're equal— my eyes are equally strong.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay. Can I— can I— can I hold the cheese for a second?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh, you mean this cheese?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, it's right here.
Amanda: Troy reaches out.
Eric: And moves his hand away. Like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): No, you can— only the winners can hold the cheese. No, we put it back in the box. We already have like— we already have so many items.
Amanda (as Troy): Only one's own brethren are allowed to taunt one like that.
Eric (as Captain Graft): And we are brethren, because we're stuck here in the city forever. Come on.
Amanda (as Troy): Shit. You're right.
Eric: He slaps you on the butt and just starts walking up the hill.
Amanda: Troy doubles over, he's doing some deep breathing, hands between his knees.
Eric: And Captain Graft picks the— starts the long trek back up the hill.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, everybody, it's Amanda. Welcome to the mid-roll. And welcome to our newest patrons, Alyssa, Gavin, and S. We so appreciate you making it a priority to support independent podcast like ours with your hard-earned money. And if you, listening, you out there would like us to read your name and thank you as a new patron, if you want to join the incredible patron Discord where every single new episode day folks are like popping off in our spoilers channel, talking all about the new episode. But also people are re-listening to Campaigns 1, and 2, and to Camp-Paign. And so if you are making your way as you listen to this, through old episodes as well, or you want to re-listen and meet some cool people while you do, you got to join the Discord. And to do that, you got to join the Patreon at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude, there is so much going on. A ton of us are taking vacation, or road trips, or doing maybe a staycation. 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[theme]
Brandon: Julia, what is— what is your witch's curse? Did you take one from Valda's?
Julia: Yes, I'm infested.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: So you guys want to go again?
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): I'm good.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy would like to circle up with— with at least Cammie on the walk back up as we're trudging.
Eric: You hear the murder hornet go—
Eric (as Captain Graft): I want to go again. Strunge wants to go again.
Julia (as Cammie): Strunge.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Strunge.
Amanda: That's a great name.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Strunge wants to go again. I will get you, maple man.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, Cammie?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Come on, Brussels.
Eric: And pulls the Brussel sprouts out of the mire.
Julia: Oh, yeah, Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, whoops.
Julia: And snaps her fingers and then disappears.
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie?
Julia (as Cammie):Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): So my plan was to like walk up to the big door, and knock on it, and say, "Hello, I am Troy." And have them like let me in. Do you think that's— that's good?
Julia (as Cammie): You can—
Brandon (as Umbi): Never hurts to try.
Julia (as Cammie): You can certainly try. Do you have something that, like, proves that you are a prince?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, my signet ring and the ritual cuttings of the wings.
Julia (as Cammie): Cool. I mean, anyone can— can cut some wings, I think, but signet ring—
Amanda (as Troy): That's true.
Julia (as Cammie): — is helpful.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Probably. Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, yeah, I don't think it would hurt. We could see what happens.
Amanda (as Troy): That's what I figured. Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, do you want to— do you want to do another roll, Troy?
Amanda (as Troy): I do not trust myself not to punch that captain in the face.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, he's a lot.
Amanda (as Troy): A captain to captain, like a leader to leader.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, hold on. Hold on.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hold on. What?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, it's just like particularly insulting for him to— to— to pine me off like that.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy—
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): —you— I don't know how to tell you this without being a little mean.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): You're not the captain. We don't have a captain. Remember, all captains are ghosts.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): And you're not dead.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah. But if— if I do die, I will be captain?
Julia (as Cammie): Sure.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yes.
Amanda (as Troy): That's something to look forward to, I guess.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric: Is that what Christianity is?
Julia: Yeah. It's predetermination in Christianity.
Eric: Nice, nice. Martin Luther was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you die, you're all gonna be captains, great."
Julia: Sure, whatever. Who cares?
Amanda: Sure, whatever.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay, yeah, That's— that's alright.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. It seems like they are doing this out of sheer boredom and not— this doesn't seem like, for lack of a better phrase, important to what we're doing here.
Amanda (as Troy): Do you, like, believe them that they've tried to break out but it's just not worked or— everyone just seems like, "Oh, we're in prison, and we're all gonna die forever," right?
Julia: Let me do an insight check on that guy to see whether or not Cammie believes that he has tried to escape multiple times.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: [dice roll] 16 plus 7, so that's a 23.
Eric: 23. Yes. Captain Graft definitely has escaped that many times. He also—
Julia: Or tried, yeah.
Eric: —also does not believe Troy is a prince.
Julia: Yeah, I figured that much.
Eric: But there's something else going on. Captain Graft said a lot of times that it's like, "They're just too strong. It's just too hard. You can't do it. I tried a bunch of times, and now I'm a good little boy." Like, there's something else going on here that's hidden below the surface.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Hmm. I feel like we should try to win the race once, just to see if that changes anything in terms of something happening, or if Captain Graft, you know, will suddenly be compliant or something, you know?
Amanda: Yeah. I'm cool with that.
Brandon: What do you think, Julia?
Julia: Yeah. I'm— I'm not gonna— I think Cammie is not going to run again.
Eric: You can watch, yeah.
Julia: But I think there's some other stuff that I'd like to do while you guys try to do that, so you can go.
Brandon: Sure.
Julia: Go nuts.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Troy is happy to run. I'm going to try something.
Brandon: I'll— I'll run as well, just so we have two chances.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. We're going again, we're going again. I get to pick it up in the box this time because I'm 2 for 2. Maybe I'll get a 3. Just like a— like a— like a cattail turkey.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Amanda (as Troy): Hey— hey, Captain, can I— can I stand next to you? Is that cool?
Eric (as Captain Graft): I mean, if you want to get close to see what— what it looks like, Prince boy. That's fine.
Amanda (as Troy): I would.
Eric: Yeah. Brandon, a cattail turkey. Like, things like from Thanksgiving. You and all of your siblings fight each other to have the cattail because that's where all the juices go.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Oh, right. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Eric: And you put the beer can in— around— near the cattail.
Brandon: Uh-huh. uh-huh.
Eric: Yeah, it's like that. Yeah.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And a turkey is when you roll three strikes in bowling.
Julia: Gotcha.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Oh, that's the key piece of information. Yeah, there you go.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda: But a muskmelon is real. A real melon. A real melon.
Eric: That one's a real one. That one's a real one. Yeah. Beaver melon, not real, though. That's different.
Amanda: Mouse melon, real.
Eric: Oh, that one's real?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, that's interesting. Alright.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. Muskmelons for everybody, if I get it again. Let's go, let's go.
Eric: Alright. Why don't— Julia, give me the D10 roll.
Julia: You got it, holmes. Cha! [dice roll] 2.
Eric : 2. Amanda, give me a D4, roll.
Amanda: 3.
Eric: 3. Umbi, you recognize this from when you were in the box. There is a rather large-sized cheese wheel this time. It's about the size of a— actually, it's pre— it's pretty big. It's about the size of a— of like a child's bicycle tire.
Brandon: That's pretty big.
Eric: Pretty big. Pretty big.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: I would like to eat that in my house.
Eric: Yeah, it is not like adult-sized pizza, adult-sized—
Amanda: Like a medium pizza.
Eric: —bicycle tire.
Amanda: Not a large pizza.
Eric: It's a medium pizza, right.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: It's a medium pizza.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. A little bit faster, a little bit longer here. Everybody watch out. Don't bump each other. Just make a way for me to get another one. Alright, alright. Okay, let's go.
Eric: Is everybody ready? Everyone's lined up?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Ready.
Eric: Okay. Cammie, where are you at? So I know— I know what you're doing.
Julia: Cammie's hanging out by the box of food.
Eric: Alright.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Now, remember, new— newbie with a dress, spratling with the dress. Don't eat that. We need that for stuff.
Julia (as Cammie): I wasn't gonna.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Okay, but it's worth saying, because you didn't know stuff before, so I'm gonna continue to understand that you don't know anything. Also breathing is fine, you can keep breathing. The liquid is like you could breathe in the liquid.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, now, I'm thinking about breathing. What if I forget?
Amanda (as Troy): A little late for us to know that one.
Eric: This is like a tooltip that pops up when your— when your— when your game— your RPG is loading. But—
Amanda: But it's like Chapter Three, it's like, "I know how to shoot. I know how to shoot."
Eric: Hit A to jump.
Amanda: Geez.
Eric: Be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, the liquid is— it gets in your— it gets— it over photosynthesizing. Okay, here we go. Alright, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
Amanda: Julia, can you investigate the food when you're up there?
Julia: I'm going— that was my plan, but also like, they keep saying, "Hey, you can keep breathing." And I know it's supposed to be like adding nutrients and shit to people. But, like, it's got to also be making them pliant or something like that.
Amanda: Compliant, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I agree.
Julia: You know, like, it— it must be doing something to us. Otherwise, why the fuck would you keep saying it?
Amanda: Julia, do you— does Cammie have like a filtration or like, any way that she could, like, tie something over her mouth?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Listen, the rea— it's because people dra— people get all freaked out, and then they try to like, I don't know, you get— try not to breathe and then they die. And it's a problem.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Have you ever seen someone die, they get eaten by a Blackberry dragon? It sucks for morale. And morale is already pretty low.
Julia (as Cammie): I think I literally just saw that happened. Yeah.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, it was— and how bad was it on a scale of 1 to 10?
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, like a 7.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. And we're trying to keep things around 4.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): Interesting.
Brandon: Eric, while Umbi lines up on the line here to start this race, he would like to down a potion of water breathing and just get fucked up. Inject that oxygen into his veins.
Eric: You— you remember that you get negatives strength and dexterity, right?
Brandon: But what if, Eric, they make me go fast like NOS?
Amanda: Fast but dumb.
Julia: What— what if?
Brandon: What if, Eric?
Amanda: Fast but dumb.
Brandon: What if they make me go fast like NOS?
Eric: Alright, fine. Because I think this is the point. Is this how humans discovered drugs? You do it—
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —accidentally the first time and the second time you do it intentionally?
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay, great.
Julia: Or you do it because you see animals doing it and you're like—
Amanda: Huh.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: —"Why is that squirrel all fucked up?
Eric: "Hmm. That squirrel seems to be having a good time." Fine. I'm gonna flip it. So Brandon, you're gonna get plus 1 to strength and plus 1 to dexterity, but negative 1 to everything else.
Brandon: Hell yeah. Okay.
Eric: For the next hour. Okay?
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Alright. Umbi's pupils are so large.
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's fucking go!
Amanda: Umbi's not gonna sleep for three days.
Eric: Your chlorophyll is like grinding its teeth. Okay. 3,2,1 fully up. This one gets faster, quicker the big— this bigger cheese than last time. It's starting to gain speed down the hill faster than the small wheel of cheese. But it's now go. [video game action music] Chase after the cheese minigame.
Brandon: I love the theme song every time.
Amanda: Wow. That's really cute.
Eric: Alright, let's do some running after the cheese rolls.
Amanda: Ooh, 21 for Troy.
Eric: Alright.
Brandon: Brandon got a 13 total.
Amanda: Brandon, are— are the drugs worth it?
Brandon: Yes, because Umbi thinks he's going so fast.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. Immediately— immediately, four Greenfolk break away from the pack. It is Troy, it is the Poppy Field, it is the Murder Hornet, and it is Captain Graft.
Julia: Brussel sprouts not so hot this time, huh?
Eric: No, not so hot this time. They got tangled up with a wolfsbane again, just trying to make it go.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Strunge has opportunity. Everyone else do bad job.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Strunge out in front with high percentile.
Brandon: In the movie adaptation of our D&D campaign, is that one played by Dave Bautista or—
Eric: I— Brandon, it wa—yes, it's played by Dave Bautista, you know this.
Amanda: Uh-huh. A 100%.
Julia: Not even a question.
Amanda: Eric, you can be perfectly with your voice Dave Bautista.
Eric: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Amanda: Troy's gonna shoot an arrow at the captain.
Eric: Oh, yeah?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Alright.
Amanda: Yep, that's a 10 to hit.
Eric: And roll with disadvantage.
Amanda: Oh, well. That's a 9 to hit.
Eric: Okay. The arrow goes fully— not in a different direction, but just like the angle of this arrow is just like 20 degrees too high. Fully over the captain's head.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Troy frowns and uses his second attack aiming below the captain.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Disadvantage again.
Eric: Disadvantage again.
Amanda: Alright. Alright, it's a 19 to hit.
Eric: Yeah, you adjust— you adjust for the angle and an arrow, an arrow gets all tangled up in the weird ooze of— of Captain Graft.
Eric (as Captain Graft): If that's what you want to spend your time doing, you could just spend your time running instead.
Amanda: Great, don't care. That is 6 points of damage, but that doesn't matter because I'm going to use another risk die.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: And going to cow the creature.
Eric: Oh, no.
Amanda: Using covering fire.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: So the captain is cowed.
Eric: What— remind me what that does.
Brandon: Turns him into a cow, Eric.
Eric: Hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda: I roll my risk die, which is now a D10. Shut up, Brandon. And subtract it from its next roll.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Ooh, that's great.
Amanda: Next attack roll, but I think in this occasion, their running roll.
Eric: No, they can— still roll. That's fine.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: That's great.
Amanda: Alright. So please, Eric, subtract 6 from my next roll.
Eric: 6. Alright, here we go. Alright. So zero successes for Umbi, but Umbi's caught up with all— the majority of the pack here. I'm gonna say the same thing for Troy that I said to Cammie. I know you already did the roll, but if you want to fire on the captain, you got to choose either running or doing something else.
Amanda: That's fine. I'll choose firing.
Eric: Alright. Three of the pirates have broken out— out front here, which is the Murder Hornet, the Poppy Field, and Captain Graft. So zero successes for our runners here. Cammie, what do you thinking?
Julia: I would like to— hmm. Let me look at the food first.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: I'm gonna examine the banana.
Eric: Yeah, you can just pick it. I'll just let you do that.
Amanda: Yeah, you are in Pride Month.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. I just— I just want to look at it and be like, "Is this a normal fucking banana or is like— is there something—"
Eric: Sure.
Julia: "—that's in this food? Like, what's going on here?
Eric: Yeah, give me a nature check.
Brandon: Is it a Cavendish? Is it a Gros Michel? Is it a ice cream banana?
Julia: It's a 14 plus 5 for a 19.
Eric: Yeah. Cammie's into— into produce.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Certainly.
Julia: I have high nature.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: It's one of my— one of my proficiencies.
Eric: Yeah. Cammie, here's the thing, you smell it, this is a weird banana. It's— it's an odd banana. It's very large, and maybe because it's large, it wouldn't taste really good. Maybe it's like, you know, when— when things get so big, the sweetness gets, like, diluted. It's gonna ta— this thing's gonna taste weird. And— oh, no. Cammie, it's a good thing you looked at this.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Does this banana have a nose?
Brandon: Oh, goddammit.
Eric: Is there a nose on this banana?
Brandon: Bananose.
Eric: You feel the ridge of a nose growing off of this giant banana.
Julia: Cammie boops it. Does anything happen?
Eric: It— subtly, the smallest imperceptible wiggle vibrates through the banana.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: You're immediately transported back to your childhood, where as we've seen before, in the Open Fields, sometimes you see produce that have weird body parts on them. Remind me, do you eat— what do you do with produce that have faces?
Julia: I think it depends, right?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Like, it depends on whether— where it's being grown, how it's being grown, and for what purpose it's being grown.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: You know, it's be— like, I don't want to make it sound weird, but if it's not developed and it's not being grown to be a person, it's food.
Eric: Yeah. No, it is. 100%.
Julia: But if this was grown in a place where it was allowed to develop to the point where it is reacting to things, that should be a person.
Eric: Maybe— I don't know, maybe. It's— it's a real fine line here. The point is, is that someone decided to give the weird produce to the prison people, I guess is where this all kind of shakes out.
Julia: Right.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I'll save the other thing I want to do for my next turn.
Eric: Alright. Going down the mountain, keytar, keytar, keytar, keytar, but it's a minor key because it's sad. Alright, give— give me— you're chasing the cheese down rolls, please.
Brandon: Who's in front, Eric? Or are they sort of tied up front there?
Eric: Right now, the three prison pirates I was describing before were out in front.
Brandon: They're just sort of all tied in a row right now?
Eric: Yeah, but the arrow as it— but you saw Troy fire the arrow that got all caught up in the gunk of Captain Graft.
Brandon: Alright. I'm gonna keep going, then.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: So Troy just rolled a Dirty 20.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Based on the weird physics of the arrow, he's gonna unfurl his wings and jump up a little bit. See if he can get any extra air.
Eric: Trying to get some air.
Brandon: Well— okay. Here's the question, is it weird physics or did Troy just miss and that was flavey?
Eric: Roll— yeah, roll on it.
Amanda: I don't know.
Brandon: So we don't know? Okay, great.
Eric: It'd be wi— it would be wisdom.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. It's a 2 plus 0.
Eric: A 2. You missed. Weird.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: I think Troy firmly thinks that there's something weird about this environment because no way he missed like that.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yeah, I mean, it's fair. It's possible.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: So, yeah, he jumps up and flexes his shoulder, wings out.
Eric: Sure, yeah. You can jump. I guess gliding down a big hill is just as— is just as fast as running down it, for sure.
Amanda: He's falling fashionably.
Eric: Yeah. Brandon, what about you? What does Umbi do?
Brandon: Umbi also got a Dirty 20.
Eric: Oh, yeah. Take that success. Umbi—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Umbi and a few of the slow starters start to get a breakdown.
Brandon: Yeah. And if anyone wasn't already doing this, just— you know, y'all or the listeners, Umbi is wearing a sweat band on his head. He has a like—
Amanda: Oh, yeah, of course.
Brandon: —short shorts and knee-length socks on.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: How short? What's the length of the in-seam?
Brandon: Like, 3 inches.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Inches are also shorter in Verda Stello, so that's really short.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: Wow. Damn.
Brandon: They're on the imperial system.
Eric: Ay. [claps]
Brandon: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Eric: I want to note Julia didn't clap.
Julia: Stupid joke.
Amanda: I was gonna say nautical inches, but that's— that's stupid.
Brandon: Nautical inches!
Eric: Nautical— nautical inches is also good. Those are more like naughty-cal inches because it was--
Amanda: We're talking about in-seams. Yes, they are, bitch. Happy Pride!
Eric: Yes, bitch! Happy Pride. Here we go.
Amanda: Happy Pride.
Brandon: I don't even know if this episode is gonna come out during Pride.
Amanda: It's not, it's not.
Eric: It doesn’t matter, it's the— we're con— we're continuing and forward Brandon. We're pulling—
Amanda: All year long, baby.
Eric: All year long, Multitude shows care about Pride. While you're doing that, the guy from before is like—
Eric (as NPC): Hey, can you give me another bomb? I think it was my good luck charm. I shouldn't have thrown it back at you.
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Eric (as NPC): I want to keep it in my armpit meat.
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Eric (as NPC): It keeps— but it's my lucky charm.
Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck off, man. No!
Eric (as NPC): You— you fuck off.
Brandon (as Umbi): You fuck off.
Eric (as NPC): You fuck off.
Julia: Jesus.
Amanda: I love this show.
Eric: I rolled a 9 minus 6 from Troy, and I have some modifiers here but it doesn't matter. Captain Graft is too busy trying to get the arrow out of his ooze, to try get it out of his weird sap ooze, to concentrate on the race fully. He needs to be locked in and that is a perfect time for the murder hornet, for Strunge.
Amanda: Strunge.
Eric: Starting to bear down on the wheel of cheese. Strunge has two successes, and Troy floating above and a bunch of the pack including Umbi and the poppies, and Captain Graft only have one success.
Julia: Here's the thing, I was anti-Strunge. I've gone full around. We're— we're pro Strunge now here in this household.
Amanda: Strunge needs this dub.
Brandon: This is a pro Strunge podcast.
Amanda: It is.
Eric: "I need the dub."
Julia: I love Strunge.
Eric: Alright. Let's see. Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens with Strunge.
Brandon: Well, is— does Cammie need to do anything— or want to do anything?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. I want to investigate, I guess, the air, the medium in which we are supposed to be breathing.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: I want to know if that is somehow making people more docile down here.
Eric: Looking for docility, for sure. The duality of being docile.
Julia: What am I— what— what should I be doing? Arcana?
Eric: Investigation still. You're still looking around at stuff. That's fine.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I only have a plus one to investigation, but that is a Dirty 20.
Eric: Alright, cool. Cammie, you're looking around. Hmm, I guess how would you look at the air?
Julia: I think Cammie, like, scoops at it, almost.
Eric: Yeah, you scoop at it, for sure. And you're like watching your hand move through it. It's simply a little bit thinner, I guess, than the air outside. Your hand moves differently. You also see— maybe you can see— well, I'll give you this with a Dirty 20, that like the way that light goes through water, your— the way that you're looking at light through this liquid, your hand makes like a weird curve through the liquid, so things move in a different direction that maybe you might—you might think. But you're like, "I don't— what— what's going on here?" And I think it is— you're— like you're looking around, you look down at the bottom of the hill, and you see that big sign, you know the big sign?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: That has everyone scores on it.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: There's like massive amounts of tick marks in this thing because it's like for years at a time, they keep track of everyone who wins here. Captain Graft has a lot.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Some people have some smaller amounts but Captain Graft is like by far the winningness at rolling down the hill catching the cheese wheel, right?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You also notice that since you're looking at this sign from the top of the hill, from the other side, there are a bunch of barnacles on the back of the sign. They're big. They're like starfish size, these barnacles. And the barnacles also— you know, barnacles, they come up into this kind of volcano shape. You know, when you look at barnacle, they're really small. But at this size, you can literally see the volcano shape. It's like this cone that it becomes. And there's like a little eye inside of the barnacle. Something you would only be able to see from it being this big.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And there's a few of them. There's a few of them and they're all pointed in different directions, looking at different stuff.
Julia: Okay. Interesting. I'm assuming this is the Big Brother state and that is like keeping an eye on us, perhaps.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: I'm gonna go look at that at some point more in detail, but I'm curious.
Eric: Hmm. Uh-hmm. Alright. Strunge is bearing down on the cheese. He's within feet of catching this thing. Let's see what happens. Roll for cheese catching checks.
Amanda: Fuck. Only 10 for Troy.
Brandon: 7.
Amanda: Come on, Strunge, you got this.
Brandon: Strunge.
Julia: Believe in Strunge. Heart of the Strunge.
Amanda: The Strunge hive rise up. Strive, strive, strive, strive.
Eric: Strunge is reaching out his big beefy arm, trying to grasp this large cheese wheel.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: And in a fraction of a moment, you see that Captain Graft is neck and neck with Strunge reaching out for the cheese. It is coming down to one final thing. It's like he just moved so quickly down the hill.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: He's so dexterous.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: It's incredible.
Amanda: So Troy sort of like stumbled in that last round. He— he didn't pass. He's slow in his momentum. So he's just going to throw his arms and wings out wide and yell friendship. Attempting to spear the brambly parts of Captain Graft and pulls him back.
Eric: Alright.
Amanda: 6 plus— alright. That's a 10 to hit from Troy?
Eric: Troy, you think you're firing at Captain Graft. You're going to get— get your arrow, get this friendship rope arrow right in the ooze. Right in—
Brandon: No.
Eric: —the center of his split. And then what's that? They switch spots.
Amanda: No!
Eric: And you have pierced the back of the Murder Hornet's front.
Eric (as Strunge): No! I was so close. Why— why would your friend do this? Why would do— Why would spratling do this?
Amanda: Try falls to his knees weeping—
Amanda (as Troy): Strunge, I'm so sorry.
Eric: And Captain— that's when Captain Graft scoops the big cheese up, slides— slides to a stop and cradles the big cheese wheel in his arms like a little baby— actually, a big baby. It's a big baby.
Amanda (as Troy): Strunge— Strunge, I'm so sorry. I should have trusted you.
Eric: Strunge then pulls on the rope, just— he puts two arms on the rope and pulls it towards them. Troy—
Amanda (as Troy): Brother.
Eric: —Troy, you are in—Troy, you're in the air, so you're getting pulled down like an unruly kite and you're slammed into the ground.
Amanda: He lays there.
Amanda (as Troy): You're right. You're right. I accept it.
Eric: Please take 11 damage.
Amanda: Yeah, no, that's fair.
Brandon: I'm just gonna finish this hill, get to the bottom—
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: —next to Captain Graft here and say—
Brandon (as Umbi): You're a fucking cheater.
Eric (as Captain Graft): What do you mean? There's no cheating here. We're just all having fun.
Brandon (as Umbi): You're a fucking cheater.
Eric (as Captain Graft): You're— I— I think you're a cheater. You gave someone a bomb earlier.
Brandon (as Umbi): I did do that, but I admit that I am a cheater.
Eric (as Captain Graft): And I—
Brandon (as Umbi): You are a fucking cheater, too.
Eric (as Captain Graft): And how am I cheating?
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't know.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Oh—
Brandon (as Umbi): But I'm gonna figure it out.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright.
Brandon (as Umbi): Tell me.
Eric (as Captain Graft): I'm just fast.
Brandon (as Umbi): No. Bullshit. Take— here, take this truth serum, if you're not a cheater, then it'd be fine. I won't ask you any weird questions or anything, I promise.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Okay, I'll take it.
Eric: And he take— he takes the vial from you and drops it on the ground.
Brandon (as Umbi): You piece of shit.
Julia: Burn, bro.
Eric (as Captain Graft): No, I'm doing that. Come on.
Julia: Sick burn.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Come on, we’re not doing that, man. No.
Eric: Brandon, you can have that one back. That one is not--
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: —in your— in your inventory. That's fine. But no, he just, like, drops it on the ground.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, so you're a coward and a cheater?
Eric (as Captain Graft): I— I guess— I guess no one will know.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm going to tell everyone in this fucking town, in this prison of cheaters—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): —that you're the cheatingness cheater that ever cheated.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. Sure.
Julia: Cammie from the top of the hill goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Damn, got 'em.
Eric: Roasted, even.
Brandon: Can I roll an inside check and see as I'm accusing him of cheating if he— obviously, he's confident and his— his persona is confident and how he's not cheating, but like—
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: —do I get any sense of faults in there?
Eric: Sure. Brandon— Brandon, you don’t have to roll anything.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Because we freeze on Umbi's face. And floating in the background, maybe— maybe it's a ghost. Maybe it's something else. But in your mind, you hear Drews say—
Eric (as Drews): Oh, yeah, it's time to collect.
Eric: And I'm going to put the NAT 1 on you right now. Now, I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to put a piece of information on you. If you remember all the way back there, you traded something with Drews any sort of interaction of conversational roll. I could put a NAT 1 on you whenever I wanted, that's what I'm doing right now.
Brandon: Damn.
Eric: I'm gonna give you a piece of information. It could be true.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: It could be partially true, it could be totally false. I'm not going to tell you.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: I forgot about this, to be honest.
Brandon: I know. I did, too.
Eric: Obviously, Captain Graft had a run-in with a magical sea monster, a underwater bioluminescent mantis shrimp.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: And the giant mantis shrimp taught him how to move so fast, he was able— especially in this liquid, he was able to move so fast that it like the— the liquid kind of, like, moved around him and he can, like, boil the water—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —behind him. He was moving so fast, the water— you know how a mantis shrimp punch so fast, it boil— it, like, boils behind them?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And that gives him the extra boost to win at the running down the hill cheese wheel game.
Brandon: Brandon says, "Hmm." Umbi says—
Brandon (as Umbi): That's fucking cool, man. What?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Captain Graft): So you can tell— you can tell ev— you can tell everyone that I'm cheating. No one's gonna care. I'm just winning. I'm winning, and you can't prove that I'm cheating. Also, I'm not cheating, so what are you talking about?
Brandon (as Umbi): You can tell everybody this is your cheese.
Brandon: Hmm. Okay.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Alright. Well, you have a good time. I'm gonna rest up, get some more food, replenish the box, And then try not to get eaten by a dragon. And I'll see y'all— I'll see y'all round.
Brandon (as Umbi): Just to clarify real quick, everyone does get enough to eat and you're just using like leftover food, right?
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, cool, cool.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, no, this is the leftover chee— bad cheese no one wants to eat.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cool. Great.
Eric (as Captain Graft): No, we all kind of grab on and stuff.
Brandon (as Umbi): Great.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah. Like, do you want to eat that weird banana?
Brandon (as Umbi): No, I don't.
Eric (as Captain Graft): No, exactly.
Julia (as Cammie): Don't eat it.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Yeah, no, I don't want to eat it.
Julia (as Cammie): Don't do it.
Eric (as Captain Graft): No, it has like a nose.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric (as Captain Graft): It's gross. Yeah, it's gross.
Julia (as Cammie): It shivered.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ahh!
Eric (as Captain Graft): That's why you don't eat— yeah, that's why you don't eat the banana. That's why we use it for rolling. Alright, see you around. Good game. Good game. Good game.
Brandon: It's a fruit rollup, Eric.
Eric (as Captain Graft): Good game, good game, good game.
Eric: Sorry, Captain Graph is too busy giving people atta boys and butt slaps and saying, "Good game."
Eric (as Captain Graft)): Good game, good game, good game, good game.
Eric (as Murder Hornet): Strunge was so close, but now fancy Prince ruined his success.
Eric: Troy, you're like pushed into the ground.
Amanda: Troy goes—
Amanda (as Troy): I deserve it.
Eric (as Murder Hornet): It would be best if you stayed out of my way.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm so sorry. I will get you out of here, brother.
Amanda: Troy reaches up one hand.
Eric (as Murder Hornet): I don't know what— I don't want your help. Strunge will take care of himself.
Amanda: Troy's going to— I think—
Eric (as Murder Hornet): I have a nickname, you know? They call me Murder Hornet.
Brandon: That's not a nickname. That's just what you are.
Amanda (as Troy): I thought that was your kind of Greenfolk.
Eric (as Murder Hornet): Yeah, Strunge, Murder Hornet. No, name Strunge. Nickname, Murder Hornet.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm— I'm really sorry, Strunge.
Eric (as Murder Hornet): Should be.
Eric: And mushes your face and then walks away. In my head, Strunge is like Buzzwole. You know the Ultra beast Pokemon?
Amanda: Yes. Yes.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Troy is gonna pick himself up, wipe the, you know, grime of the sand and the maple off of himself.
Eric: I love you were floating. You were floating and then you got pulled down. It's so funny. I'm so sorry. I'm really enjoying this. It's like keeping interrupting up to you.
Amanda: It's okay. No, no, no. Retract my friendship necklace like a jam to tape measure. And as he's like rolling up his— his wings, Troy's gonna walk over to the scoreboard with the intention of writing, "Troy: -1," on it. But can Troy investigate the scoreboard when he gets there?
Eric: Yeah, sure. You can look at the scoreboard, lots of tallies for Captain Graft. And you can see the big barnacles on the back as well. I'm just realizing the whole time Umbi's eyes, Umbi's pupils were the size of dinner plates. So then— so Umbi's like, "You were blessed by a mantis shrimp."
Amanda: "It makes sense."
Julia (as Cammie): What's wrong with you?
Brandon (as Umbi): What do you mean? What's wrong with you?
Amanda (as Troy): Never felt better. Never felt better.
Julia: Cammie starts brewing some lavender tea, being like—
Julia (as Cammie): You need to calm down.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Troy's gonna walk around the scoreboard a couple of times, notice the scores to see that— that guy always wins. And he's gonna pause looking at the— the barnacle eyes. Now, Troy is fairly familiar with surveillance from growing up in the Crags where he's—
Eric: For sure, yeah.
Amanda: — in the kings guard. Can I investigate the surveillance, what I assumed to be a surveillance system?
Eric: Yeah, sure. What do you want to know?
Amanda: I want to know if it is— if it is an active surveillance system. Do I see the eyes blinking, moving, focusing?
Eric: Yeah, give me— what kind of— what— you'd have to give me an Arcana check because this would be tech-ish.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: Either Nature or Arcana, I'd say.
Julia: Can I give the help action?
Eric: Yeah, you guys can do this together, because Cammie already figured it out.
Amanda: Oh, it's a NAT 20.
Eric: NAT 20.
Julia: Fuck yeah, dude.
Brandon: I swear to God, if this turns out to be the fucking communication system that Julia made—
Amanda: Oh, I'm sure it is.
Julia: Who can say?
Eric: I mean, there's not gonna be a tag on it that says—
Julia: "By us."
Eric: "—Green Apple, LLC." That's crazy. It's an apple inside of a Hothouse. It's the Apple logo, but there's like a hot— but there's like a drawing of a— a rudimentary drawing of a Hothouse around it. All four of the barnacles, all four of the big eyes on these barnacles are looking at you, Troy. Before they were kind of looking at it all directions, kinda like looking at different stuff, and now they're all focusing on you.
Amanda: Troy nods, and then pulls out his signet ring from the one janky arrow that he keeps in his quiver, just to keep it down low. He puts it on and raises his hand up to the camera so that they can see exactly who it is. And then he brings his hand away and imbued with all of the intimidation and authority he can muster, mouths, "I'm waiting."
Eric: With a NAT 20, I'm telling you, you don't have to mouth it.
Amanda: Great. And then he shrugs his pack back on and heads back up the hill.
Eric: This barnacle right here, I slap. It picks up audio and video, my friends.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: This baby right here can hold so much surveillance state.
Brandon: Eric, was it put in place by one George Bush? Do you get it? Because it's already a bush.
Eric: Oh, that's pretty good.
Amanda: It's pretty good.
Julia: Geez.
Amanda: Pretty good, yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Verda Stello was an inside job. Anything else, Julia, Brandon, what are you thinking?
Julia: Yeah. I don't know if there's anything with the NAT 20 that was extremely helpful. I don't think that there's anything that Cammie is, like, honed in on now. I think she's trying to consider all of the pieces right now and being like—
Julia (as Cammie): What are we missing?
Eric: Yeah. Tell me the pieces, tell me what you got.
Julia: We know that there is something below the surface in terms of there have been revolts, but now people are, like, chill.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: We know that there is surveillance so people can see probably from the prison what is going on in here.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: We know that there is a substance that we are existing in that is supposed to be giving people a certain amount of additional nutrients.
Eric: Uh-hmm. What else does substance do?
Brandon: Lets you breathe.
Eric: Lets you breathe.
Amanda: And pickles us slightly.
Eric: Pickles you a little bit.
Julia: Yes.
Brandon: To let you live longer than I assume, if you're pickled.
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Or— or it's, you know, preserving bodies that are past its due.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: We know that people— what was the— what did the sign say again?
Eric: The sign says, "It's not enough to die, they want us to be mulched."
Julia: Right.
Eric: "Welcome to South Kompos City."
Brandon: So do we think these people are already all dead? So what is compost? Compost is, like, extra organic matter, extra sort of minerals to feed the living plant?
Amanda: Somewhat broken down. Yeah, organic matter.
Eric: Here's something note— noteworthy. I don't remember if there was a sign up above, but I'll just say this, but both times they were spelled differently. It wasn't spelled like compost. It wasn't C-O-M-P-O-S-T. It's K-O-M-P-O-S..
Brandon: Oh, Kompos?
Eric: Kompos, K-O-M-P-O-S.
Brandon: Without T, oh.
Julia: P-O— P-O-S.
Eric: So it's more of a name, but it certainly evokes— but evokes that as well.
Julia: It stands for something.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Here's the other thing, what has the liquid inha— inhibited right now?
Brandon: So no spells, no teleportation bomb, hexes do work, physical weapons will cause damage assuming they actually hit.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yes. It's harder to— harder to hit with physical weapons, for sure.
Amanda: Brandon, I don't think they're dead, because they wouldn't feed us if we were dead.
Brandon: That's true.
Eric: I also want to point out, one bomb did work for you, Brandon.
Julia: But only after it was swallowed by the creature, right?
Eric: No, the bramble bomb worked holding Umbi— holding Umbi in place.
Julia: Oh, yeah, it did. You're right.
Brandon: Holding me, yeah.
Eric: So—
Amanda: Because it's organic and not alchemical, is that why?
Eric: Maybe.
Julia: The other thing that I'm thinking of is the fact that I tasted wine, and the only way you can get vinegar is by distilling alcohol further.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Alcohol is a preservative.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Why do hexes work? I don't understand why hexes work.
Julia: I guess because it's my innate magic.
Amanda: I think it's like a biological thing happening here, where like the— the bramble bomb worked because it was biological organic in some way. Cammie's hexes works are tied to her biology and not because they're, like, artificial in some way. Like, the weapons—
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: —are artificial and aiming them is, you know—
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: There's something here.
Eric: You don't have all the answers.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: K-O-M-P-O-S.
Eric: Cool. You're hanging out in the hill. You're poking around, you're thinking— you're mulling this over. Cammie, you see three— you look up at the uphole, the sky hole and you hear—
Eric (as Greenfolk): Ow, ooh, ow, ow.
Eric: As you hear a sploosh and three more Greenfolk are falling down from the sky.
Julia (as Cammie): Huh.
Eric: As we saw before, they're kind of just going straight down. Two of them are kind of just falling straight down. They're kind of just falling down into the center of town pretty close to where the dragon is eventually gonna open up. Julia, can you make a perception check really quickly?
Julia: Of course, I can.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: [dice roll] Perception is a 15.
Eric: One of them is trying to hold its momentum a little bit. It's like spreading out, kind of like making their body pretty wide, and trying to float down towards the ground. They're still pretty far away, so you can't see, but they've really slowed their momentum. So they're taking their sweet time making it towards the ground.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: And that's about the time that the big doors are thrown open. You see that 12 guards are holding tridents in one hand, and holding a rope in the other. They're walking as firmly as they can, and they're pulling this massive carts behind them, that's filled with just day-old bread, squishy vegetables, meat that's kind of turning, like bad baloney. Just a pile, this— this big, big cart, kind of like the back of a pickup truck, the size of a— the back of a pickup truck. Imagine this with, like, medieval wheels on it, just like pulling this big cart full of food over.
Amanda: Wheels where the middle is a square and not a circle.
Eric: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of the guards have their tridents out because they're starting a— crowd of the prisoners are making a— a semicircle around the cart. Just allowing just a little bit of distance for the guards to slowly pull this cart inside. And you hear, over like a loudspeaker like—
Eric (as Guard): [PA System] You're getting food early. Don't ask us about it. Congratulations.
Julia (as Cammie): Weir— weird. Why— why are they feeding us early?
Amanda: Could Troy look around— is anyone not running for the sledge? Can I see anybody who's like not eating or pretending to eat?
Eric: No, I think everyone is running. Everyone's going towards the food. It's like—
Brandon: Including Kidd Cervantes?
Eric: Yeah, Kidd Cervantes and— and the Cervantes siblings are going for the— everyone— that's just what you do.
Julia: Huh.
Brandon: Blackberry wine makes me think— okay, I'm gonna pitch a crazy theory. What if— what if—
Amanda: Wine is dragon pee. I totally agree.
Brandon: Thank you, Amanda. Yeah. What if this whole thing is the dragon? Like— like, we're on top of the dragon?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: I think we only saw the dragon head for a reason.
Brandon: Right.
Julia: Yeah, that's why I thought maybe the hill was like the body of the dragon—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —or something like that, but—
Amanda: Maybe it is the tail because it'll be covered with, you know, the land.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I mean, does that make sense with the, I guess, like a body to head ratio that we saw?
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Maybe, maybe. And then the guards retreat, have all their tridents out, and then get behind the big doors, and the big doors closed.
Julia: When the soldiers or the guards or whatever, were in there, did they have any sort of like insignia or anything like that on their uniform?
Eric: Oh, yeah. You know, it's covered in that weird diamond knot square thing. You know it.
Julia: You know what? I'm trying to think like, you know how like a— let's say, an FDNY uniform would have the crest, but it doesn't just say FDNY, it says like Fire Department of New York?
Eric: Oh, sure. That's interesting.
Julia: I want to figure out if it says the— what the full title of K-O-M-P-O-S is.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Smart.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: The only things I'm thinking of is, "Knight of Mirrors Piece of Shit."
Julia: Just for Brandon.
Eric: Yeah. No, I'll tell you, the Komp— Kompos is not a— it's not a— it's not an acronym and you don't see it on their—
Julia: Shit.
Eric: The guard's crust or anything.
Julia: K-O-M-P-O-S is not an acronym?
Eric: No, it's not an acronym.
Julia: Interesting.
Amanda: Interesting.
Julia: That's so weird.
Brandon: When they open and close the door, can we see in? Do the portal thing, the hole where the door is, is there anything back there that we can see?
Eric: No, it's just kind of like spooky hallway.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, just spooky hallway.
Julia: I want to go— can I investigate the three folks that tumbled down?
Eric: Sure. Everyone make a perception check.
Brandon: [dice roll] 21, baby.
Eric: 21.
Amanda: 6.
Julia: Only a 13.
Eric: 13, 6. Umbi, you're looking— I guess, Cammie, you can—
Julia (as Cammie): As the other guy said, "New sprouts."
Eric: "New sprouts." Everyone— while people are grabbing and going for the cart like, "New sprouts, new sprouts, new sprouts." Seems like that one floating up above, it's coming right towards the three of you.
Julia: Um—
Eric: This Greenfolk has bent their body into a dive, into a straight dive, and is coming right down on the three of you.
Julia: Is it someone we recognize?
Eric: There's a cloak, big black cloak with a big cowl covering their whole body. Umbi, you no— and Umbi you noticed first.
Brandon (as Umbi): Guys, uh—
Amanda: Troy puts his hand on his dagger.
Julia: Cammie takes two steps back.
Brandon: Yeah. Umbi puts up his dukes, like he's a boxer from 1930.
Amanda: Troy hel— holds up his hand and says—
Amanda (as Troy): Slow down, friend.
Eric: The figure is dive-bombing and slams right into Troy's chest. Just fore-- forearm out, oomph, right into Troy's chest. Troy and the figure kind of tumble end over end over end, until the figure has a dagger to Troy's neck. And Troy, your dagger is just— has just, "Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping," away.
Amanda (as Troy): I don't want to kiss.
Eric (as Mysterious Greenfolk): Ugh. Who would want to kiss anyone like you?
Amanda (as Troy): Threelips?
Eric (as Mysterious Greenfolk): What, do you think I'm one of your stupid friends, Troy?
Eric: This figure throws off their hood. There is a very, very small butterfly Greenfolk who looks exactly like Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): [gasps]
[theme]