50. Legends of the Compost VI

Hey there, it looks like you’re hurting bad. Why don’t you go to ol’ Bramble’s house and take a load off? Don’t worry, the Cervantes siblings can protect you while you’re here.


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Cast & Crew

- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.

- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman

- Multitude: https://multitude.productions


About Us

Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.

Transcript

[theme]

Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. "The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire." This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!

[theme]

Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.

Eric: Troy's very intense and very young sister DiAnnalyse aka Di, comes out of nowhere to talk to Troy. In a secret silence cone, she says that she was sent by Hyperion to tell Troy to stop being so embarrassing. But when your brother is the king of the Crags, that actually means something. Later on, the guards put the food out strangely early, which allows the crew to poke around the dragon's collar. Di uncovers a massive lock in the ground, inscribed with the words, "The water is slow to fall." Suddenly, the blackberry dragon emerges and the sucking begins. Umbi and Cammie can't hold on even behind the battlements that the crew assembles and get extremely shredded up by the dragon. Okay. Let's get patched up in the nurse's office. Let's get the party started.

Eric:  Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy 50th birthday, Campaign Three. Happy birthday to you. I'm an older woman doing Marilyn Monroe because it's 50.

Brandon:  I was wondering why you were wearing such a slinky dress to this recording, Eric. 

Eric:  Yeah, but I still keep it tight even though I'm 50.

Amanda:  Congratulations, everyone.

Eric:  I know that we've hit 50 episodes in campaigns before, certainly with Campaign 1 and 2, but like— I'm like we sure did do 50 episodes of this plant and bug pirate show.

Julia:  Yeah, there's a world.

Brandon:  Yeah.

Eric:  There really is the world—

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —out there. And it's better than what's happening in Star Wars right now, I'll tell you that much. 

Brandon:  Oof.

Julia:  Hmm.

Amanda:  Oh, I thought you were gonna say Earth, which is also true.

Eric: Yeah, this season of Earth is fucking crazy. 

Brandon:  Yeah, it's really, like, poorly written, like it's really unbelievable, honestly. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Amanda:  Yeah. Like, you can tell they— like, every episode is a special episode. They're like, "The one where—" and then each and every one, they're like jumping the shark over and over and over again.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Eric:  I just gotta say, the actress playing Kamala Harris is a great representation.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Yeah.

Brandon:  She's really good. 

Eric:  She's— she is working it. It's incredible. She fell out of that coconut tree and I was like, "Wow, star power."

Julia:  I was— I was gonna ask Amanda about Big Brother, but I can't open that gate, that floodgate that's happening right now, so I'm closing it back up. 

Eric:  What happened to Big Brother is so crazy. I can't—

Julia:  We can talk about it later. We have a podcast to do.

Eric:  I know. 

Brandon:  Okay, hang on. I'm gonna put this card in reverse. Okay, we're back at the beginning, Eric, so if you want to—

Amanda:  50 episodes, yay.

Julia:  We also left on such a cliffhanger.

Brandon:  That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric:  Oh, yeah, with you guys dying. Oh, yeah, you guys were dying, so— so the porthole slam shut. Cammie and Umbi are bleeding out. Remember, how many HP— how many hit points you guys have?

Julia (as Cammie): 14.

Brandon (as Umbi): 11.

Amanda (as Troy): How am I the most with 36?

Julia (as Cammie): You didn't get swallowed by the dragon.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah.

Eric (as Havana): [ambulance sound] Doctor on call.

Eric:  As Havana Tropicana has a klaxon and is going [ambulance sound] and— voice is lower, though. It's still— because he's still doing his big steamy voice.

Amanda:  Hmm.

Brandon:  I would love if Havana somehow got one of those, like, three-wheeled little car guys with the—

Julia:  Yeah. Cammie just wraps her arms around Havana's neck and says—

Julia (as Cammie): Take me to Bramble's house. I have to nap.

Eric (as Havana): Aren't you happy that I'm a regular doctor, not a weird magic doctor? 

Julia (as Cammie): So much. So much.

Eric (as Havana): It's a good time. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Eric (as Havana): You need 100 cc's of going to sleep. 

Julia (as Cammie): I do.

Eric:  Havana— Havana does a fireman's carry of Cammie.

Eric (as Havana): Umbi, I— I assume you've dealt with this before. You're fine.  You— you can take care of yourself and pick yourself up?

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I'm fine. 

Brandon:  And he just, like, army crawls one arm slowly in front of the other.

Brandon (as Umbi): Don't worry, I got it, Havana.

Amanda (as Troy): You can lean on me, Umbi. Just like I lean on you with my emotion, you can lean on me with your body.

Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you, Troy. You're my only friend.

Amanda (as Troy): Not your captain, though. I haven't forgotten. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Nope, you're not. Correct. I'm glad you got that.

Amanda:  Troy makes eye contact with the camera.

Eric (as Havana): If I have to make a diagnosis, it looks like you guys got super cut up. 

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.

Brandon (as Umbi): What's going on? Are you, like, making slogans while we're dying?

Eric (as Havana): I am. I'm working on stuff. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, cool.

Eric (as Havana): I'm workshopping stuff. I— I actually feel bad because I don't remember where I've been in the last few episodes. I've not been paying attention.

Julia (as Cammie): I think we just left you on that hill.

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, we weren't injured before, so—

Eric (as Havana): That's— yeah, that's fair.

Amanda (as Troy): Havana, have you noticed anything? Is this anything like what you've seen in the past or elsewhere, before you were— were a pirate doctor?

Eric (as Havana): Well, magic doesn't work, which is—

Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.

Eric (as Havana): I got— I spent so much time coming around to the fact that magic was real and people had powers—

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. 

Eric (as Havana): —and it's strange going back to that not being—

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. 

Eric (as Havana): —not being the case.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. 

Eric (as Havana): Working on the other things. It is interesting. I did take a few vi— I did take a few vials of this— of this liquid here. It has some sort of medicinal properties. 

Eric:  He shakes it in a little like— the little vial. It has a— a big cork in it and he shakes it. It gets very bubbly as he shakes it.

Julia (as Cammie): Is it fermenting?

Eric (as Havana): Maybe. There's a lot of oxygen in the— there's a lot of oxygen in this thing, which is interesting.

Julia:  While I'm— while I'm dying and ready to take a nap, can I just do a quick nature check and see if that's fermentation?

Eric:  Sure.

Julia:  I rolled an 11 plus 5 for a 16.

Eric:  Fermenting— I— I think that fermenting is something a little bit more specific than what we're talking about. Like, you know, fermentation is interesting as well as, you know, like the chemicals of alcohol. And you guys can skip 30 minutes for the scientific episode we're about to put in the middle.

Amanda:  Well, yeah, I was gonna say the fridge opens with Brandon's head inside it like Elton Brown, and Brandon can explain to us the science of fermentation. 

Eric:  But the short version is, I think, it's interesting how, you know, when plants decay or when people die, you know, they turn into something else, right? But in fermentation and when you make alcohol, it's like that byproduct is what we're going for. It gets turned into something else that's useful. So maybe something like fermentation is like— going along with the whole mulching thing and the pickling thing we've been talking about that, like, yeah, there— something is going on here, something's being made chemically, where it's different than the outside world where— what's happening is worthwhile to somebody somewhere.

Julia:  Hmm.

Eric:  Like, something— there is something chemical happening. It also— there's something about like— the bubbling that's happening, it's not carbonated, like— or when— when Havana shakes up the vial, it's not like shaking up a can of soda. It's like— you know, when you shake something up and it looks— and it bubbles just from natural gas?

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  From the natural gas that's in it. Yeah, it seems like there's a lot of oxygen in this liquid contraption, which you guys already knew because you guys can breathe in here. 

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Right. Interesting. 

Eric:  Alright. Well, y'all can head on over to Bramble's house, if you want to. But before—

Julia:  Please.

Eric:  —does anyone else have any questions about what's been happening so far? Let's talk it out. Where are we at with this mystery of trying to get out of the Kompos facility?

Brandon:  Okay. Well, we know— I'm just gonna say some stuff that we know.

Eric:  Do it. 

Brandon:  Maybe not relevant, maybe relevant. We know that K-O-M-P-O-S is not an acronym. It's just the name of the place.

Julia:   Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  We know that hexes work.

Julia:  Like my tea magic seems to work, but my spell casting abilities are not working.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  Correct. Physical weapons work, but may miss. My bramble bomb worked, but my time bomb and my teleportation bomb did not work.

Eric: Got it. Yeah. 

Julia:   Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  We know that the guy on top of the cheese hill is cheating.

Eric:  Captain Graft, he's cheating in some way, correct.

Amanda:  And I owe, probably, a blood debt to that guy who's—who's race I interrupted. 

Brandon:  Yep.

Julia:   Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Hold on one second, who are you talking about, Amanda? You mean Strunge?

Amanda:  Yeah, the sweetie Strunge, yeah.

Julia:  Strunge.

Eric:  Strunge.

Brandon:  Strunge.

Julia:  Very relevant to the mystery, Amanda. Thank you for reminding us about Strunge.

Amanda:  You're welcome.

Eric:  If you think— the funny thing about Strunge is like either he was thrown in jail unfairly just for looking scary, or he did something really bad. 

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  It's like who knows— who knows which?

Julia:  We also know that the water has some sort of like— it stops people from wanting to revolt or escape, it seems like?

Amanda:  It sort of like, yeah, pacifies them or makes them not want to rebel.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  And also seems to, like, preserve or heal them low-key.

Julia:  Right, the pickling process.

Brandon:  Yeah. And we know from Di— DiAnna that if we were able to breathe air, again, a la a canoe, overturned canoe in a— in a river or whatever, we might be able to get out of that. 

Julia:  Yep. 

Brandon: Hopefully. That sort of mind control-y process, whatever you want to call it.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia:  Can I ask a question? 

Eric:  Yeah. 

Julia:  So on the map, you're— you're showing us kind of the Z-axis and stuff like that.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  And we are in a liquid? 

Eric:  Yeah. 

Julia:  Are we capable of swimming through this liquid? Like, could I potentially swim back to the area in which we came in?

Eric:  A 100%. You guys did that. And Umbi did that in the beginning by looking around. It's just that you fall a long way, and then you go sploosh. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  So getting back up is the hard part because it's a trap.

Julia:  But we could get to an area where the liquid ends and oxygen air begins. 

Eric:  There's a 100% an air pocket, for sure.

Julia:  Okay. So we could do what your sister suggested? 

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Okay. Interesting. 

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Yeah. And she came in to warn me off of the plan that Troy clearly wanted to do, was just announce himself and try to get out, and had some kind of like built-in extraction plan some kind of in with the guards to be able to get out of there.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  And she revealed the huge padlock that said, "The waters will slow to fall," which I don't know what it's doing there, but it sure was buried. 

Brandon:  Yeah. Eric, was that padlock buried, like, by its lonesome, or was it attached to something, or—

Eric:  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you only saw as much as you could see, because you were unburying it. But it is attached to some sort of chain to the rest of the whole mechanism. The lock—

Amanda:  Hmm.

Eric:  —is a part of the whole thing going on.

Julia:  Where the collar for the dragon is? 

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  Got it.

Eric:  Now, I won't— I cannot say what exactly it is that it is attached to, but it seems to be all part of the whole thing. 

Brandon:  Got it. 

Julia:  I feel like the implication is definitely that this existed pre this town, this prison, right?

Amanda:  It feels like the prison was— was retrofitted into a thing that existed before the prison.

Brandon:  Yeah, it has to have been, yeah.

Amanda:  But it was like, yeah, mining— using the dragon for something, I don't know what. 

Julia:  But this padlock is older than this prison, for sure. 

Eric:  Yes. It's— that thing's old as hell.

Brandon:  Older than Umbi?

Eric:  That I cannot tell you because you— Umbi gets older every time I ask you.

Julia:  I mean, based on the wreckage of these buildings that used to make up this town before it was a prison, Eric—

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  —can I do like an arc— not an archeological check— I mean, maybe an archaeological check, but also an architecture check to be like, when were these buildings built? 

Eric:  Sure. I mean, give me a history check. 

Julia:  Okay. [dice roll] I got a Dirty 20.

Eric:   Hmm. 

Julia:  19 plus 1. 

Eric:  Yeah. So it's harder to tell because there sure is a lot of, you know, wind deterioration. Lock, definitely older than buildings. 

Julia:  Okay. 

Eric:  The other thing about this is that, like, this is a section of a city as well. So this is like the mai— this could have been the main square and then extending outwards. I know there are plenty of cities that— I always imagine fantasy cities are like hub and spoke because I always love how they look. 

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  But this is like the middle— the center of the square and this is like one— one-quarter of it. Maybe it's like— imagine this is the bottom left quadrant of that hub and spoke center, and that's where the— the main street is.

Julia:  So we, like, can't see the cave walls, so to speak, of this big area? Like it's pretty massive, right?

Eric:  It is, it is.

Julia:  Interesting. 

Eric:  You can touch the cave walls, but again, it's in that— it's kind of in that, like, open world sort of way where you reach the end of an open world area, and it's like, "Go away or a shark will eat you." But— so—

Brandon:  Oh.

Eric:  —the cave walls are there. They're just pretty far away.

Julia:  Gotcha.

Brandon:  I think the solution, guys, is we’re supposed to no clip out of the boundary.

Julia:  Hmm.

Amanda:  Ah.

Eric:  No, Brandon, don't speed run. No speed running. Guys, I didn't tell you this, but in our show agreement, I said no speed running.

Amanda:  Wouldn't it suck if your Dm was like, "Yeah, all you had to do was say like square, square, triangle, triangle, circle, down, and then you would've won."

Eric:  All you had to do is run into this wall and clip out. 

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Wait, let me try this. Eric, Konami Code. 

Eric:  No, shut the fuck up. I'm gonna come over to your house and kill you like Sub-Zero.

Amanda:  But I am gonna be wearing rainbow sunglasses when I do.

Eric:  Toast— I'm gonna have a big head and say toasty when I kill you.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  Bill and Hillary Clinton are gonna be with me.

Amanda:  Oh, no.

Eric:  You can play as the Clintons in NBA Jam, that's a real one. 

Brandon:  That's pretty tight.

Eric:  Yeah. The only other thing that I think you're missing is that there are big old barnacles with eyes in them.

Brandon:  Oh, right, yeah.

Eric:  That are watching what everyone's doing. 

Amanda:  Yeah. 

Julia:  It's probably the monitoring of the prison itself.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Got it. Yes. 

Julia:  Cool.

Amanda:  And Troy definitely announced himself as himself, so— 

Eric:  Oh, yeah. Sorry, Brandon, can you cut in when Troy said, "Look at my wings! I'm a Prince."

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  And then Eric said, "You don't need to. They see."

Eric:  Yeah. Everyone's like, "We know."

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah. Anything else? 

Brandon:  No.

Julia:  No, I'd like to go to sleep now.

Amanda:  Yeah, let's explore the part of the city we haven't been to yet. 

Julia:  Bramble's house. 

Amanda: We're never going to have more time before the next dragon o'clock. 

Eric: That's fair. Dragon— dragon o'clock. Sure. Yeah, y'all can hea— head over to Bramble's house. 

Julia:  Cool. 

Eric:  Bramble's house, it's so nice in there. Wow, it's nice. I can't believe it's a house and a prison. Good job Bramble.

Julia:  Wow. Do, do, do. It'll definitely looks, from the map, really nice.

Eric:  Comparatively to everything else going on, I think it's nice. As you start to walk over, you start to hear cheers coming from the big hill. Sounds like that they reset the running down the hill game. 

Julia:  Back at it, that’s cool. 

Eric:  Back at it again. You got to keep the spirits up.

Amanda:  Do I notice the Cervantes siblings anywhere as we're walking? 

Julia:  Yeah, where are they hiding?

Eric:  Oh, no, they're over— they're over at Bramble's house.

Julia:  Oh, great.

Eric:  Kidd Cervantes and his siblings are hanging out at Bramble's house. 

Amanda: Hell, yeah.

Eric:  Yeah. So as you walk across the map, and we have a loading cutscene, and there's a little hint that says, "Did you know you can roll the D20 to do stuff?"

Amanda:  Ah.

Julia:  That's true. We can do that. 

Amanda:  Thank you.

Brandon:  What?

Julia:  I think I've done that twice so far. 

Eric:  Yeah, there's like a zooming png of Amanda on screen while— while we're looking at the loading screen.

Julia:  It makes sense.

Amanda:  Oh. Eric, can I request in the— in the remaster for Nintendo Switch, can my face balance between the corners of the screen like an old Windows screensaver?

Eric:  Sure. Yeah, that's fine. And it clips into the hint— the hint text.

Amanda:  Yeah. And then every time it hits a corner, it zooms in further. 

Eric:  Sure, sure. We can do that. In the— in the remaster, I'll get to it. 

Amanda:  Thanks. Thanks.

Eric:  You head over to Bramble's house. As you get closer, you can tell the Bramble's house only looks marginally a touch better than all of the other destroyed ruins that are in this area. It's certainly ramshackled. There are bits and pieces of different buildings that seem to be— have been slapped together here, like an old car that has different color doors than the rest of the body. Outside, the rest of the Cervantes siblings are kind of like going back to their seats. There's a bunch of chairs and old furniture that they're picking up and putting back into prime lounging area. The— the NPC loop is coming back around after the blackberry dragon is done ruining everyone's good time. As you get closer, the door opens and Bramble comes tumbling out. It's like—

Eric (as Bramble): Oh, hey, you came over. I was just in the middle of starting pottery again, now that everything's done getting sucked up by the dragon. If you want to do pottery, you can just come with me.

Julia (as Cammie): I would like to sleep.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, you make pottery.

Brandon:  Umbi got it. Umbi's got a plan.

Julia (as Cammie): What?

Eric (as Bramble): I mean, yeah, you want to do pottery with me?

Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck yeah, man. Let's go sit up.

Eric (as Bramble): No one ever— no one ever wants to do pottery with me.

Brandon (as Umbi): Let's go sit up.

Julia (as Cammie): Show me your bed.

Eric (as Bramble): Oh, you— hey, you two— you didn't get out of the way of the blackberry dragon, beginner's—

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, you—

Eric (as Bramble): —beginner's cuts, beginner's cut.

Brandon (as Umbi): Look, hold up, you nearly got sucked up too, my friend.

Eric (as Bramble): Yeah, and that— that's my defense mechanism. I'm used to it. I'm just— I'm just brambling and— I'm brambling and brimbling.

Amanda (as Troy): Do you think I would be worse for the dragon to eat if I also was covered in spikes? 

Eric (as Bramble): Well, you're not as obviously covered in spikes and cut up.

Amanda (as Troy): Yet.

Julia (as Cammie): Troy, we talked about this. You cannot be covered in spikes.

Amanda (as Troy): But I just— I think it'd be really helpful for the group.

Julia (as Cammie): I don't think so.

Brandon (as Umbi): It wouldn't. 

Amanda (as Troy): Shucks.

Julia (as Cammie): Seems bad.

Eric: Troy's imagining— Troy's imagining what he would look like covered in spikes.

Amanda (as Troy): It'd be awesome. Godddd.

Brandon (as Umbi): If only you were the captain.

Amanda (as Troy): Then Di couldn't tackle me so embarrassingly. God.

Eric:  He's like—

Eric (as Bramble): Alright, come on— come on in, you— you can sleep. We got six— you can nap six hours, that's fine. Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): No, I need a full eight.

Eric (as Bramble): You can sleep as long as you want. I— there's a schedule. Sometimes they change the schedule. You just gotta roll with the punches. You got to bramble and brimble with the punches.

Julia (as Cammie): I need a solid eight hours of sleep.

Brandon (as Umbi):  Are you trying to make Bramble and Brimble like a thing or—

Eric (as Bramble): It's already a thing, brambling out. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.

Amanda (as Troy): Don't worry, Cammie, I'll— I'll watch over you. I'll wake you up if— if anything happens, you know?

Eric (as Bramble): Come on, brim— brimble on—brimble on in.

Amanda (as Troy): Keep calm and brimble on.

Eric:  Hell yeah. Inside—

Julia:  Cammie goes to sleep.

Eric:  Then Cammie goes to—

Julia:  I'm not wasting any time. Just go to sleep.

Amanda:  Julia's been trying to nap for five episodes.

Eric:  Cammie's pu— you're like pushing people out of the way. It's like, what is the thing that looks the most like a bed in here?

Julia:  I'm erasing all my spell slots.

Eric:  There's like a bunch of pillows that are just, like, vaguely propped up into something bed-esque.

Julia:  Cammie lays down and is instantly asleep. 

Amanda:  Yeah. 

Julia:  Has never fallen asleep faster in her life. 

Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, if you want to get some shut eye too, I can— I can just chug a potion. I'm— I'm less worse off than the rest of you. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, how does one sleep when the genius is leaching out of the brain?

Amanda (as Troy): I do not know what that is like.

Julia:  Oh, I just— I just figured out what Brandon's gonna do. Cool.

Eric (as Bramble): So yeah, I mean, you can make yourself at home. Obviously, you can't sleep anywhere that it's claimed by the Cervantes kids, but you can kind of tell.

Eric:  And there's a bunch of furni— again, just this whole house is filled with random bits of furniture. There's like a hole— and there's also like a hole in the roof. There's various holes in the roof. There's just like concrete— there's bricks and concrete debris everywhere, but a lot of the furniture and a lot of the pillows and— random settees and— and half-couches and whatever, have lots of cactus pins in them are— they're already claimed.

Brandon: Yeah. 

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric (as Bramble): But, you know, if you— you— pottery, you could— I don't know— we're not much conversationalist. I kind of— I'm always brimbling and brambling about and, you know—

Julia:  As we always say.

Eric (as Bramble):  Yeah, Kidd— Kidd— Kidd's doing— Kidd is always doing what he's doing.

Eric:  Kidd Cervantes in— in there posted up in like an old— in a really tall barstool. 

Julia: Cool.

Amanda: Nice.

Eric: That's like fully out of place in this house.

Amanda:  Now, Eric, is it— is it backless? it is like a bucket back? Does it have just like half back? What's it like?

Eric:  I was thinking of the bucket back, yeah.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm. Nice.

Eric:  It is like a barstool from like a 1970s grimy Scorsese movie.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Sort of thing. Like, Kidd Cervantes just posted up on. Like—

Eric (as Bramble): Yeah, if you want to do any of that, you can just hang out. I got— I don't have much to eat, you know? But, you know, that's— it's given to us by our captors, so I don't have anything. But you could always read something. I got some books or you can do pottery. You know, whatever. 

Amanda (as Troy): Oh. What kind of books?

Eric (as Bramble): Wait, no, Troy. Focus.

Amanda (as Troy): What?

Eric (as Bramble): We— I mean, it's just on the bookshelf over there.

Amanda (as Troy): I cannot guard and read?

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, let's— let's do look at the books, but also, Troy?

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah?

Brandon (as Umbi): I have a very specific mission for you after you look at the titles of the books. 

Amanda (as Troy): Okay, great. What is it?

Brandon (as Umbi): I need you to make three pots that are slightly big— well, like—like 1.5 times as the circumference of our heads, please. 

Amanda (as Troy): You're gonna have to tell me what circumference means.

Brandon (as Umbi): The size of our— just, like, you can put it on your head.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh. Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Opening as big as a hat, you could have just said it.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, like that. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): But far enough down that it covers our mouths.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah. To your neck, to your neck.

Eric:  You're aslee— you're asleep, Julia. You're— you're asleep.

Julia:  I know. That was the ghost of Cammie.

Eric:  The ghost of—

Brandon (as Umbi):  A pot that goes to our neck, you know? 

Eric (as Bramble): Oh. Oh, but— oh, you— actually— well, if you're gonna do that, you know, the only rule about pottery is one, don't touch me when I'm doing pottery because I'm very sensitive. And—

Julia:  He doesn't like Ghost. He's not into that. 

Eric (as Bramble): I don't want— I just— I don't want to be touched.

Amanda:  Delicate— delicate process.

Eric (as Bramble): I'm very delicate. Second—

Brandon (as Umbi): This got weird really quickly. 

Eric (as Bramble): Don't go— you can't go outside with the pottery.

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Julia: What?

Eric (as Bramble): Yeah, they don't like— they always— whenever you— whenever I take pottery out, the guards always find me and, like, smash it.

Brandon (as Umbi): Can we use it in your house, though? 

Eric (as Bramble): I mean, yeah, just like don't— don't— and keep it near— away from the hole in the— just keep it away from the hole in the roof and the windows.

Brandon (as Umbi): I just want to make it known to everyone here that I didn't do that one. 

Eric (as Bramble): No, I know.

Brandon (as Umbi): That was there when I came in.

Eric (as Bramble): That was the blackberry dragon.

Eric:  And the audience—

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.

Eric:  —stands and claps.

Amanda (as Troy): So the— the guards don't like it when you make stuff what looks like a weapon, what you could use to get out of here?

Eric (as Bramble): No, they're— they're fine with weapons. Honestly, they think it's funny when we have weapons and then like a terracotta club breaks on my face that's like get sucked up by the blackberry dragon.

Brandon (as Umbi): That is pretty funny, honestly.

Eric (as Bramble): Yeah. No, they don't like when we make receptacles.

Amanda (as Troy): Huh.

Eric (as Bramble): So if you want to do it, you got to keep it in here.

Amanda (as Troy): Alright. So Umbi, big cup.

Brandon (as Umbi): Really just need one then, I think, so— 

Amanda (as Troy): Alright. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Just make it— you know, focus on doing it good. 

Amanda (as Troy): Okay.

Eric:  Hmm.

Brandon (as Umbi): But also read the spine to the books, see if there's any interesting ones. 

Amanda (as Troy): Okay.

Eric (as Bramble): I also got some tennis rackets and I have like a warped Frisbee, if you want to do that.

Brandon (as Umbi): If you tell me we're gonna play pickleball, I'm leaving. 

Eric (as Bramble): I don't want to—

Brandon:  Pickleball is just a thing here, Eric. It’s already named.

Eric:  Yeah, no, pickleball is a thing. It's a totally different sport, though, that's not terrible and annoying.

Julia:  Hmm.

Eric:  It's a to— it doesn't take people's tennis courts away from them. It's a totally different game that is helpful. It's more like can jam or like one of those— one of those games that they only play— you can only play if you have, like, 20 frat brothers, and you're on a very large college campus. 

Amanda:  Hmm.

Julia:  Oh, it's closer to cornhole.

Eric:  Cornhole, can jams, like spike ball is what I was anticipating. Do you know what a spike ball is?

Amanda:  Yeah. Yeah.

Julia:  Hmm. Yeah.

Brandon:  I don't know any of these fucking games.

Julia:  You don't know cornhole, Brandon?

Eric:  Because we went to city colleges, that's why.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  No, spike ball is the one wi— there's a small trampoline in the middle and then it's kind of like—

Julia:  They played on the beach a lot. 

Eric:  It's like volleyball. Yeah, well, you know, from the beach. Brandon— 

Amanda:  Brandon— Brandon, it's from the beach.

Eric:  Brandon, only rich people are allowed to go to the beach where Brandon is from.

Amanda:  Brandon isn't rich enough for beach.

Eric:  Yeah.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric: So there's a small— Brandon, imagine there's a small trampoline and you need to hit like a volleyball-esque ball onto that trampoline. And you're— you're trying to, like, keep it up in the air by spiking it on the trampoline. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  It's like volleyball, but instead of hitting it over the net, you have to hit the trampoline. 

Brandon:  Understood. 

Eric:  It's very cool. It's very fun. I think it's really neat. That's what pickle— that's what pickleball is and you hit a pickle. 

Amanda:  Yeah, and the ball is a--

Eric:  No, wait, wait, it's like jai alai but they have giant pickles. I love world-building in this game. Happy 50th episode, everybody.

Amanda: Wee. You have to invent the niche sport, Eric.

Eric:  Yeah, we gotta invent the niche sport.

Eric (as Bramble): So, yeah, we can play— we can play pickleball.

Amanda (as Troy): I— I would like to— to learn your pottery, please.

Eric (as Bramble): Oh, yeah, we can do pottery.

Brandon (as Umbi): Wait, what about the books? Don't forget the books.

Amanda (as Troy): What are you going to do? I thought you were pottery while I was books?

Brandon (as Umbi): Don't worry.

Amanda (as Troy): Okay.

Julia:  Don't worry. End of statement.

Amanda (as Troy): Fair Sir Bramble, may I please read your book titles and then think about the book I want to read, what while I do pottery? 

Eric (as Bramble): Yeah. I mean, you know, they're not curated or anything. I'm not— I'm not like a library sort of guy. I'm more of a brambling and brimbling sort of guy, so—

Brandon (as Umbi):  Please lib—

Amanda (as Troy):  That's fair.

Brandon (as Umbi): —liber—  wait, no, you said it right. 

Eric (as Bramble):  LiBramble?

Brandon (as Umbi):  No liberry is right. 

Eric (as Bramble): Yeah. So it's just like vary— you know, stuff that's tumbled in and around and stuff that I've grabbed.

Amanda (as Troy): That's cool. My— one of my first books— actually, I'd say my— my— my most transporting book. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.

Amanda:  And then Troy makes deliberate eye contact with Umbi.

Amanda (as Troy): Was about how to make drinks.

Eric (as Bramble): Oh. Do you have-- can you add that? This is kind of a take a book, leave a book sort of situation.

Amanda (as Troy): It's back on the ship.

Brandon (as Umbi): In your home?

Amanda (as Troy): It's back on the ship, but I won't take it for— for— always, I'll just— you know, just take a look.

Eric (as Bramble): Okay. That's fine. I'll get the pottery wheel set up, and I'll go get— and I'll get some clay.

Amanda (as Troy): Thanks. 

Eric (as Bramble): No problem. 

Eric: Alright. Cammie's snoozing. What do you two want to do? Troy wants to look at the books.

Amanda:  Then make pottery.

Julia:  I think I also— I— I handed Nonny over to Troy during this—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Oh, sure.

Julia: So that if Troy needs some help with anything, Nonny can assist. 

Amanda:  Thank you.

Eric:  Uh-hmm. Wha— what does Cammie usually dream about?

Amanda:  Intrusive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, intrusive thoughts.

Julia:  Ooh, that's a good question. I think Cammie— it depends. Like, you know, like not— no one has like the same kind of dream over and over again, I don't think.

Eric:  Sure.

Julia:  But I think that Cammie is dreaming about, like, fields of plants, kind of like an ocean of whether it's wheat or kind of grain or something like that, but it's more green. It's more, you know, full.

Eric:  Yeah. I like that. Cammie, you're walking through this endless field of grain. It is just— it sprawls in all directions. The blue sky is fathomless. There is no end and no beginning. Do you usually feel like serene here, just being in the everything?

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  I think Cammie has very peaceful dreams, usually. 

Eric: Yeah. You're serene, you're taking it all in, and then you hear— [rings] There is a very old payphone right in the middle of the amber waves.

Julia:  Cammie picks it up and goes—

Julia (as Cammie): Hello, Cammie speaking.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Doo, doo, doo. Hey, you don't have any magic, come on.

Julia (as Cammie): I have innate magic. 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Doo, doo, doo. The spells you want to use, they're not working.

Julia (as Cammie): I've noticed.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Doo, doo, doo. Please hang up and call again.

Julia: Cammie hangs up and star 69s.

Brandon:  Now, for anyone under the age of 30—

Julia:  Yep.

Brandon:  —what is that, Julia?

Julia:  It was a thing that you could do where you could immediately call back the last call that came into your phone by hitting star 69.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Alright, give me an Arcana Check. That's very—

Julia:  Fuck yeah, dawg.

Eric: —that's very funny.

Julia:  Fuck yeah, dawg.

Amanda:  It's— it's control Apple T. It's— it's reopening the tab you just closed.

Julia:  Arcana? 

Eric:  Yeah, Arcana.

Julia:  23.

Eric:  23.

Amanda:  Hey.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Hey, this is Baba Rutabaga's phone. Baba Rutabaga speaking.

Julia (as Cammie): Hey, it's Cammie.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Oh, are you— are you using the sleep phone?

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. What's up with my magic?

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): That's— it's— I'm usually at this— this long distance call is gonna say— gonna kill me. It's gonna be so expensive.

Brandon:  Now, for anyone under—

Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  —the age of 30, we used to have to pay money for long distance phone calls.

Eric:  It was very expensive. It was very expensive. 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Wait, hold on, it's not the weekend, is it? I have unlimited weekends.

Julia (as Cammie): I have no idea what day it is.

Amanda:  Two details, Eric.

Julia (as Cammie): I mean, it's my dream, so yes?

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Oh, it's— oh, it's— it's [mumbles fake days] day.

Julia:  Ah.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): It's fine.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, of course.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Yeah, I got unlimited things. Like, I don't know. What's going on with your magic?

Julia (as Cammie): I'm in an underwater prison, and my spells don't work, but my hexes work.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Uh-hmm.

Julia (as Cammie): Which is odd.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Hmm, hmm.

Julia (as Cammie): And I'm trying to figure out why that is. I think there might be like an anti-magic field or something. But there's something funky about the water that we're in.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Uh-hmm.

Julia (as Cammie): It's like, bubbling and releasing oxygen, and it also might be pickling people.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Hmm, pickling.

Julia (as Cammie): Hmm, yeah.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Any thoughts? Because it just seems like you're just repeating back what I said to you.

Brandon:  Baba Rutabaga is just a wonderful listener.

Julia:  Uh-hmm. Very active listener. I love that for her. 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Cammie, do you want me to help you problem solve or you're just here— here to complain?

Julia (as Cammie): No, no, I'm— I would love some problem-solving.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Oh, you do want problem-solving? Alright.

Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Not to vent, just to problem solve.

Amanda:  People usually don't choose that one.

Julia:  Hmm.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Well, it's interesting. I mean, obviously— well, you know, what makes your— what makes your hexes, hexes. What's the biggest difference between the spe— I know that this— it feels— it feels like you're learning something about me when I'm also telling you about you. This is— this creates a emotional moment for me here in your— here on the sleep phone. What is the—

Julia (as Cammie): This is a real bonding moment.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): What's the biggest— what's the biggest difference between the spells that you cast and the hexes that you do? 

Julia (as Cammie): Well, the hexes come from the terrible, terrible curse you put on me.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Ah.

Julia (as Cammie): Ah.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Terribly fun and emotionally fulfilling.

Julia (as Cammie): No. I'm genuinely happy about it because I can do so much. 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): That's right. That's the Baba Rutabaga guarantee. You might not like it—

Julia (as Cammie): Nice.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): —but eventually, you're powerful.

Julia (as Cammie): Hmm.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): I say that to all of the kids who come sneak up on me when I'm so—

Julia (as Cammie): Right, all the kids you— you punish.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): When I'm falling asleep on my porch.

Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. So you think that because this is coming from the curse, it is allowing the magic to happen? 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Well, you know, Cammie, as you say, you— you think something is gonna be bad, but it actually turns out from being good. So what else can you do?

Brandon: What the fuck does that mean?

Julia (as Cammie): Truly, what does that mean? 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Doo, doo, doo. Hey, please put another quarter into the sleep phone.

Julia:  Cammie pulls out a doubloom and puts it in.

Amanda:  Sleep logic, sleep logic. 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Cammie, Cammie, are you there? 

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, hi. 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Yeah. Oh, okay. Cammie, all you can do is laugh.

Julia (as Cammie): As in— as in cackle, which is the—the thing that I do to cast spells? 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Yes, yes. Ca— Cammie, yes, Cammie that's what it is.

Julia (as Cammie): Cool, cool, cool.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Ca— the thing of the— something as a witch you should know is you gotta— you usually want to end on a— on a— like an emotional resonant note 'cause—

Julia (as Cammie): Right.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): —it make you seem more powerful and— and mysterious and interesting.

Julia (as Cammie): I just like to always be clear. 

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): And that's gonna ruin—

Julia (as Cammie): That's just my thing.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): That— that's gonna ruin some of your branding, your mystique. 

Julia (as Cammie): I'm okay with that.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): I— you're—you're always— you're—so you're— you're selling all over the place. everyone thinks you're a magician and you're not—

Julia (as Cammie): Hmm.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): —you're not doing wit— you're not doing witchy stuff. Maybe you should— I don't know. Maybe you could curse— curse that— that— that oc— that bee octopus thing you have and make it spookier, maybe that will help.

Julia (as Cammie): My bee octopu— oh, you mean Nonny.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Yeah. Like, give it— give it horns and spikes.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. I could change Nonny's form.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Yeah. Make— make her spookier so people know you're a witch. And people would be like, "Oh, where did she those witch powers fro—" 

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. But she's so cute the way she is.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): “Maybe-- where did she get those witch powers from? Oh, from— from scaring Baba Rutabaga. Maybe I'll go to the woods and do that”, and then I'll eat their eyes.

Julia (as Cammie): Huh. Well, that's an option.

Brandon:  In Cammie's dream, Baba Rutabaga has somehow transformed into an advertising executive in a suit in a glass-walled New York office building, and now we're at a branding session, so it's fine.

Eric:  That's how Cammie sees her. 

Brandon:  Yeah.

Julia:  Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Eric:  I think Cammie see— in Cammie's dream, she sees her as Joe— Joe Pesci, and that's where I was going with my character choices.

Julia:  Uh-hmm. That makes sense.

Eric:  Here behind the Actors Studio: Join the Party.

Amanda:  Episode 50, director's commentary.

Eric:  Yeah. Yeah, you get it all.

[theme]

Amanda:  Hey, it's Amanda. Welcome, welcome to everybody who's joined the Patreon in the last few days. We are going to thank you next week because Eric and I are on vacation. Yay. And thank you, Julia and Brandon, for holding down the fort. We can only make this show and do things like take vacations because of all of your support on Patreon. If you want to support the show, please join the Patreon at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. We even offer annual plans where you can join at just a one-time charge versus a monthly charge and get one year of support for the price of 10 months. That's at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude, we are always poppin' in the Multitude Discord. This is a completely free Discord server that anyone who listens to Multitude shows and likes them can be with other people in our community. We also do things like community game nights, which are sometimes trivia, sometimes Jackbox. It is always a great time. It is fully the nicest place on the internet, I promise you. So go on over to multitude.productions/community to join the Multitude's free Discord server and our community today. We are sponsored this week by Shaker & Spoon. My very favorite craft cocktail subscription service, or by the way, one-time purchase that lets you learn how to make handcrafted cocktails right at home. I went to a very fancy cocktail place recently, and I was like, "Hmm, I made one of these very similarly in the Mezcal box from Shaker & Spoon." So you're warned you may end up becoming a home mixologist par excellence. Their whole thing is they send you a very cool box with enough ingredients to make three different cocktail recipes, which are developed by world-class mixologists. All you have to do is buy one bottle of that month's spirit and you have all you need to make 12 drinks at home. It is a great way to level up your home bartending skills or have a great fun night at home with friends or a date or the next time you are staying over at someone's house, be the best houseguest ever. Go to shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty to get $20 off your first box. We're also sponsored this week by United By Blue, a sustainable lifestyle brand that prioritizes sustainable materials and ethical manufacturing to lead the charge toward better business practices. For every product purchased, they remove one pound of trash from oceans and waterways. And they've removed over three and a half million pounds so far, from non-toxic regenerative fibers that keep harmful pesticides out of the environment to recycle plastics that put trash to good use. They do their best to keep it clean from the very start. We are on a road trip this week, Eric and me, and we are using a couple of different things from United By Blue. The first is an insulated half growler, so it's 32 ounces that we use just to keep like a big bottle of water in the car, because we can refill it whenever we're at, you know, a restaurant or a gas station, and it is incredibly convenient and keeps the water very cold. I also have a very cool, like, camping spork, so I have like a fork knife and spoon in our little cooler, that way if we ever get takeout and they don't include utensils, or I just don't want to use plastic utensils and have a bigger footprint, I can use my reusable and then wash it off at our next stop. So go to unitedbyblue.com and use code Join the Party to get 20% off your order, whether you get a backpack, a water bottle, or one of their very cute pieces of apparel, good socks, good shirts, lots of good stuff, unitedbyblue.com, code Join the Party for 20% off. And now, let's get back to the show.

[theme]

Eric:  Alright. Troy, what are you doing?

Amanda:  Troy would love to walk over to the bookshelf and take a look at the titles.

Eric:  Sure. Anything you're looking for in particular?

Amanda:  I would love to look for anything useful in navigating our current situation, so anything about like health, mind control, this place, blackberry wine, dragons— probably not the Diamond Knot, but anything relevant to getting out here. 

Eric:  Okay.

Brandon:  Is there a book that's titled like Join the Party Campaign 3 Episode 52? 

Julia:  Ooh.

Eric:  So there's only the— the liner notes—

Brandon:  Oh, damn. Okay.

Eric: —for this episode. Alright. Let's do an investigation check to look at the books on the— on the wall. [dice roll]

Julia:  Did you get a Nat 20?

Eric:  You absolute motherfucker.

Julia:  Amanda, I was so ready to remind you that you had Nonny with you for the help action.

Eric:  Oh, my God.

Julia:  You don't need it. You're fine. You're fine.

Amanda:  Yeah. Barrels of knowledge.

Brandon:  Troy can read.

Amanda:  Barrels of knowledge, barrels of knowledge.

Amanda and Brandon: Barrels of knowledge.

Julia:  Troy reads better than anyone.

Eric:  Oh, my God. Okay. There aren't that many books on the shelf. Bramble has definitely had to assemble this from whatever flew past him and got stuck in— in the thorns or what, like, hit the wall accidentally during the suckage. So—

Amanda:  How many are copies of the Da Vinci Code?

Eric:  Three.

Julia:  I was gonna say three.

Brandon:  Whoa.

Amanda:  Pretty average, pretty average.

Eric:  By Dan Brown Beetle? 

Amanda:  Hmm, nice.

Julia:  Oh.

Eric:   Dan— Dan Stickbug. I don't know. Something like that.

Brandon:  Dan Stickbug is very stupid.

Julia:  I think Dan Dung Beetle is the way to go.

Eric:  Oh, that's good. That's good.

Julia:  Hmm.

Eric:  So there's three copies of the Da Vinci Code.

Amanda:  Yep.

Eric:  Random romance novels guidebook or two, things that would be in pirate's backpacks—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —and then gets ripped up and thrown around, except for one. Everything else is like shoddily bound or something, you know, like the— like a guidebook you would bring on a camping trip that's like—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  It’s like spiral bound or something.

Eric:  Spiral bound or like waterproof.

Amanda:  Hmm.

Eric:  You know? Or they're like really bad and— and— and really messed up paperbacks. But there's one that stands out. It is old, it seems to have been carefully bound, like someone's hand stitched it together. And the material is different than anything else. It's not the waxy paper of a waterproof book. It's not the— the one ply piece of paper of a— of a grocery store novel. It is like thick and luxurious. And on the spine, it says, "Notes from a Council Meeting, South Kompos City." 

Julia:  Ooh.

Brandon:  Ooh.

Julia:  Read it.

Brandon:  Go in the book.

Julia:  You also have those glasses. 

Brandon:  Go in the book.

Amanda:  Yeah, no Troy's gonna take it off the shelf and kind of look at the, you know, the spine, the front back, and just really casually, yeah, reach into the quiver of where he keeps his arrows, and pull out the reading glasses.

Eric:  Hmm. Those reading glasses.

Brandon:  The good thing about the reading glasses is that you can just also call them reading glasses—

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  —and they work. No one will suspect a thing.

Amanda:  No.

Julia:  Troy's like, "My eyesight is famously bad."

Eric:  Imagine that you walked into a library and someone was wearing the glass— the Ben Franklin glasses from— from National Treasure.

Julia:  Yeah.

Amanda:  I would drop everything and say, "May I serve you, my Lord?" 

Brandon:  Yes, exactly.

Eric:  And be like, "Oh, I have terrible eyesight. Let me take out my reading glasses."

Julia:  Yes.

Amanda:  Troy's gonna kind of like prop a shoulder against the wall, like very feigning, you know, casualness. I imagine Nonny is on his other shoulder and he'll just kind of whisper to her, like—

Amanda (as Troy):  Keep an eye out for me for— for a second, girl, okay?

Julia:  Nonny salutes.

Eric (as Nonny): [bubbles in confirmation]

Amanda:  And Troy, glasses on, cracks open the book.

Eric:  Okay. It takes you a little while to get into it, because a lot of it is damaged. I don't know if it's about having this book inside of this liquid, but it's like— it's like water-damaged and stained. There's like dark stains all over the book as well, and also—

Amanda:  Hmm.

Eric:  —it's dirty and ripped up as well. So it takes you a little while to find a page that will get you into the book.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  But as you kind of flip through, you finally found one that you hear— you feel— it feels like the world falls out from underneath you, and then you slam back in, catching yourself underneath you. And you are sitting in kind of an open courtyard. Someone has set up a bunch of open, like, benches and tables that are surrounding a fountain with a statue of a great growing beanstalk in the middle of the fountain, and it's like spitting water everywhere. The sky is gray, it's kind of cloudy, but you are seeing the sky. You're—

Amanda:  And I’m outdoors, not immersed in liquid? 

Eric:  Nope. You're outdoors, not immersed in liquid below you, you're sitting outside and there's cobblestones beneath you. And everyone around you is engaged in deep conversation. There's like a bunch of people sitting in these outdoor benches, and they're all dressed very similarly. They're all wearing casual civilian clothes around you, but over that, everyone is wearing this dark green toga that is pinned up with a bright golden pin, kind of like up on their left shoulder, with— again, with that beanstalk insignia on the gold pin.

Julia:  I like it.

Amanda:  Hmm.

Eric:  And everyone is like very— is into their conversation. They're like speaking fervently and with energy. You hear snippets of conversation. It seems like people are kind of divided into groups of four or five or six. Unfortunately, though, everything looks like there's something dirty on the camera lens—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —but that might just be because the pages of this book are all messed up.

Amanda:  Troy's gonna look around. Can I notice anything that gives me a sense of when this is? Are there, like, pens or phones or notebooks that give me a sense of like— do I see like a feather in quill or a pen?

Eric:  You're— you're really doing the time traveler thing of like, who has a phone? Does anyone have a phone?

Amanda:  Yeah. Is this— is this PIPNE? Do you know about 911? Come on.

Eric:  Sure. Yeah. Give me a perception check to look around.

Amanda: 13.

Eric:  13.

Amanda:  Am I bruvs with anybody here, or is anyone sitting on or near a barrel?

Eric: There are barrels. There are barrels around you. They have invented barrel technology.

Julia:  And your proficiency? 

Amanda:  Well, I— I think it— I'm not doing an— oh, actually, yes. What— what era of barrel is around? Because I can pinpoint this to the decade with barrels.

Julia:  Yes, yes, yes.

Amanda:  13 plus 4, 17.

Brandon: That— hey, Amanda? 

Julia:  Amanda?

Brandon:  That's fucking brilliant.

Eric:  That’s so stupid.

Julia:  Best use of it ever.

Amanda:  I know I'm married to our DM, but I think I could get away with this at other tables, too. What decade are these barrels from?

Julia:  I'd let her do it, if I was DMing.

Eric:  Alright, let me thi— let me think— let me think about this for— let me think about this for a second. 

Amanda:  Thanks for your support, guys. 

Eric:  According to barrel technology, as you compare this to your barrel—

Amanda:  Yes.

Eric:  —to your barrel handbook— because honestly, this is easier than me trying to technologically date anything else. The barrels are still using a wider squatter design, which has been out of fashion for 40 years.

Amanda:  Hmm.

Julia:  Wow.

Eric:  So when people are perched on barrels because there aren't enough seats and not enough, like, of these outdoor benches that you're looking at, people have pulled up, like, wine barrels.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  And are sitting on them. And they're— they're shorter than what you would usually have on your ship. They're definitely less area, but that was kind of the fashion of the time, it was having more smaller barrels than larger, taller barrels.

Amanda:  Which, Eric, is historically true, because taller, narrower barrels were better for the holds of ships versus these barrels that you describe for land.

Eric:  For la— yeah, for being on land.

Brandon:  Did you actually read a book about— you did, didn't you? 

Amanda:  Yeah, of course, I did.

Julia:  Yeah. Yeah.

Amanda:  That's what I pulled from during the early campaign.

Eric:  Yeah, me too. I definitely read a book about barrels [trails off]

Julia:  So just to clarify, does that mean that this is post-Cascade drying up, but like, pretty close to post-Cascade drying up? 

Eric: Yes. 

Julia:  Gotcha. 

Amanda:  Cool.

Eric: So everyone's going, you hear—

Eric (as NPC 1): [Grumbles] Well, I don't know what we’re going to do.

Eric (as NPC 2): Well, I— you don't— you don't have to talk about it that way. [Grumbles]

Amanda (as Troy): Can anyone see me?

Amanda:  Troy yells.

Eric: Everyone just continues their conversation around you.

Julia:  Oh, interesting.

Eric:  Troy is gonna walk up to somebody and wave in front of their face. 

Amanda (as Troy): Can you see me? Can you see me?

Eric (as Tartus): Yeah, I'll have— yeah, I don't know. Whatever lunch order everyone else is having, I'll have that. Yeah, we're talking— we're talking, please.

Amanda (as Troy): Just real quick, what— what meeting is this again and what are your secrets?

Eric (as Tartus): If you're— if— if you're here just to get everyone lunch, I don't have time to tell you to— you do not have any sort of clearance to understand our secrets.

Amanda (as Troy): I'm an emissary from the Crags. What are you talking about? 

Eric (as Tartus): Alright. That's fine. Whatever you need to say to be out at this hour, it's up to you. That's fine by me. I don't know, get me— sandwich, whatever sandwich they have. I don't care. I don't care. Just— just go.

Eric:  And then returns to their conversation.

Amanda (as Troy): Interesting. They have invented sandwiches. 

Amanda:  And then Troy walks up—

Julia:  Goddamn it, Troy.

Amanda:  —toward, like, the front of the room or the center, or maybe the— the fountain. Can he inspect the statue here?

Eric: Yeah, sure. 

Amanda:  Alright. 10. I just want to check out— yeah, is there any— is there any label apart from the— I know you said it was the South Kompos City minutes. Anything else I can notice about why they're here? What the topic of the— of the meeting? 

Eric:  No. With a 10, I think that you— you just need to— no one's engaging with you, so you just got to sit it out on the side of the fountain. Yes, this is in fact— there's a—there's a plaque that says you know, the center of Ko—South Kompos City. We— we watch the water flow as the— as our great stalk reaches higher and higher and higher. 

Amanda:  Interesting.

Julia:  Oh.

Amanda:  And then finally, can he look around to like the— we're in a courtyard, but what's around it? Can he place us here compared to the ruins of South Kompos City that we were just walking around?

Eric:  Now, that you've done that, considering how you use the last roll on barrels.

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Now, you look around, yes, this is South Kompos City. This is exactly the center of town that you— you took in before. But you're only like, "Oh, nice. Yeah, I know where we are."

Amanda:  Yeah. Is the fountain where the dragon is?

Eric:  The fountain is where the dragon is, correct.

Amanda:  Interesting.

Julia:  What is the great stalk?

Amanda:  I don't know. 

Eric:  And that's when you hear—

Eric (as Tartus): Alright, alright. We've had enough discussion. We're ordering lunch now. Alright. So time is of the essence. If we don't make a decision now, someone else is going to make a decision for us. We have a lot of ideas on the table here.

Eric:  This person is kind of leading the me— is leading the meeting here. I would think they're a big lemon. That would be fun. 

Amanda:  Nice.

Eric:  If they were a big lemon. Maybe with like— with a cut out of it, so that— that's where their mouth is. I think that would be fun.

Brandon:  I like that. Almost like a Muppet. 

Julia:  Hmm.

Eric (as Tartus): We have lots of ideas, but no big idea. And if we don't decide for ourselves, the governments of all the other countries are going to decide for us. So what do we think? 

Eric: There's silence.

Amanda:  Troy looks around.

Eric (as Tartus): Oh, come on. No one wants— no one wants to try? We have to try something. Come on. This is a pl— as a plague upon our city. Ugh.

Amanda (as Troy): What if you restate the problem as if someone here like, say, a waiter had never heard of it just to, like, help you think of it from a new place? That helps me a lot.

Eric (as Tartus): What are you—

Julia: Great question.

Eric (as Tartus):  Excuse me. What are you doing here? You only have— if you're here to get lunch, you only have permission to be out of the safe zone for enough time for you to pick up lunch. There's no reason for you to stay longer. It is dangerous. 

Amanda (as Troy): I'm a waiter what who has a dream to be a scribe.

Julia: What's so dangerous about it? What's going on?

Eric (as Gloria): Tartus, please.

Eric: Someone else stands up. 

Eric (as Gloria): Please. If someone wants to ask a question—

Julia: Wait, that's a great name for a lemon. I just want to say.

Amanda:  Incredible.

Eric:  Thank you. 

Julia: Good job, buddy.

Eric (as Gloria): Tartus, please if he— if the young waiter wants to stay, then they can— then they can stay. 

Eric: And Troy, you turn, and speaking in your defense is a slightly younger Gloria.

Brandon: What?

Amanda: Troy bows.

Eric (as Gloria):  Can I— just get everyone flatbreads. Everyone will be fine with flatbreads.

Amanda (as Troy):  Very good, sir.

Julia:  Just a little gyro, just a little falafel.

Amanda:  Every culture has a flatbread.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric (as Gloria): No one wants to stand up and say something, Tartus, because we're de— there— everyone is afraid. There is nothing to— if— no one knows what the right answer is because there is right— no right answer.

Eric (as Tartus): Well, I guess then we're— we're fine with this being done to us. Fine. We'll just— we'll just— we'll just wait. Is that what you want? You just want to wait, you just want to see who— who it comes to next? 

Eric:  Gloria continues—

Eric (as Gloria): No, obviously, not, but you can't just like— you can't just say someone to figure it out and then all that blame is gonna get put on them.

Eric (as Tartus): Well, someone needs to come up with something. Unless—

Eric:  And at that moment, someone pushes over one of the tables and bends over in pain, screaming and growling. [roars] 

Eric (as Gloria): Oh, no, it's happening! Everybody, run! This area's not safe!

Eric:  Gloria grabs your hand, Troy— and tries to pull you away. And as you look behind you, this Greenfolk is busting out of their toga and out of their clothes, and they're growing in size and moss is growing all over them. 

Eric (as Gloria): Hurry! You don't want to get bitten or you'll get lichenthropy like everyone else.

Julia:  Fuck. Fuck you. Hey, man, fuck you.

Eric:  [claps]

Julia:  No, I won't clap for it.

Eric (as Gloria): Come on, with me. 

Eric:  And Troy, you take a few steps running out of the way as the lichen creature gets bigger and bigger, and roars, and grabs towards another Greenfolk. And then you feel everything start to get, like, jagged and ripped, and dirty, and discolored. And then the ground comes out from underneath you and you're back. You can see why I'm mad about Amanda getting a Nat 20. 

Amanda:  That's very good, honey.

Eric:  Yeah.

Amanda:  I— I liked it when you said moss and then a synonym for moss is lichen, and that sounds like the Latin for wolf.

Julia:  I wonder then if like this liquid that was pumped in is to counteract the disease?

Amanda: Maybe.

Julia: Interesting.

Eric: So how's the pottery been going, Brandon? How good— did you— did you get— get in Bramble's personal space?

Brandon:  I'm not doing pottery, son. 

Julia: What are you doing, buddy?

Eric:  What are you doing? Okay. Po— okay. So Bramble's making a vase, and you're doing what?

Brandon:  Okay. Well, Eric, here's what I'm— would like to do. 

Eric:  Sure.

Brandon:  I have a handful of questions first, but—

Eric:  Sure. 

Brandon:  —now, we know that like TV and stuff exists in this world.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  So I assuming we do have some sort of wire or like— I don't— I don't need that, but is there some sort of like wire that Umbi might have as an alchemist on this person?

Eric:  Yeah, probably. Sure.

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  You got— you probably have some metal components for sure. 

Brandon:  Yeah.

Eric:  Especially in the scrap as well. 

Brandon:  Yeah. I only need scrap. Well, Eric, if you've ever been in a third grade science classroom, and you took a potater and you made a light bulb light up, right? 

Eric:  Sure. 

Brandon:  What Umbi would like to do is a proof of concept here. He would like to grab some taters, maybe some rotten taters that are in the food, maybe a person. Who can say?

Julia:  Maybe find a potato guy. Who can say?

Brandon:  Who can say?

Eric:  Okay.

Brandon:  As you've stated previously, this liquid is a pickle, a small— a slight pickle, right?

Eric:  Yeah, there's some veggie— yeah, there's some vinegary stuff going on here. Yeah.

Brandon:  So that implies that is there— that there is some sodium in this water. 

Eric:  Okay.

Brandon:  So Umbi would like to take some wire, put it in the potater, and then you would attach that to some graphite, which I would have as an— as a bomb maker. 

Eric:  Sure. Okay.

Brandon:  And then the tips of those are going to go into two different empty bomb casings. And this is a thing that you might call electrolysis. 

Eric:  Okay.

Brandon:  And this is how you separate hydrogen from oxygen in water.

Eric:  Okay.

Julia:  Brandon, what flight did you learn this on?

Brandon:  The one called the google.com right now.

Julia:  Ah.

Eric:  What are you— what are you trying to do, buddy?

Brandon:  Everyone knows that two H2O equals 2 H2 and O2

Eric:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Right?

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Yeah. 

Brandon:  So proof of concept here, I would like to see if when I do this little science experiment that is easily done with easily accessible materials—

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  —then I can start creating gas, oxygen, and hydrogen.

Julia:  Fully thought you're gonna say, "A hydrogen bomb."

Amanda:  Fresh air, yeah.

Eric:  For sure. And you're trying to put these in, like, some receptacles?

Brandon:  In my two empty bomb casings.

Julia:  Hmm.

Eric:  Hmm.

Brandon:  So knowing that gas is less dense than water, so the gas will start to fill the container and push the water out of the container.

Eric:  Absolutely. That's exactly what happens. 

Brandon:  Then I would like to take a piece of pottery the size of my head, put it on my head.

Amanda:  A little diving bell.

Brandon: Do a little diving bell, put some gas in there, and then start breathing in some oxygen and hydrogen.

Julia:  Hmm.

Amanda:  Hell yeah, dude.

Eric:  Alright.

Julia:  Science, Mr. White.

Eric:  That's exactly what happens. Yeah, dude. Who's making the pottery?

Amanda:  It was gonna be me after the book.

Brandon:  Troy or Bramble.

Eric:  Cool. Yeah.

Julia:  But also I do like the idea of Nonny making some pottery as well.

Brandon:  Or Nonny. Nonny has 8 limbs.

Eric:  Yeah. Yeah, you can all—

Julia:  That’s lots of limbs.

Eric:  You can all make pottery. I love the idea of making the large— just like large bowl, right?

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  And then he has to like dry— Bramble is like— Bramble is then holding it and be like—

Eric (as Bramble): I need you to know, this is the most dangerous object you can have in here.

Amanda:  A large receptacle.

Eric (as Bramble): I don't like receptacles in here. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I'll be sure to hide it, then. Thank you for your brimbling and brambling.

Eric (as Bramble): For sure. Well, if they're— if they catch you with this, you're gone.

Julia: They won't. 

Brandon (as Umbi): They won't. 

Eric (as Bramble): Alright.

Eric:  And he gives you what— it's like— what— it's like a big— something like a big bowl.

Brandon:  Like a diving bell. Have you ever seen it?

Eric:  Something to put your whole— right, to put your whole head in. 

Brandon:  Yeah. It's like a— if anyone's ever seen like a cloche— like a glass cloche.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Yeah, like a big— like a old— like an old timey— an old timey scuba suit hat.

Brandon:  Exactly. 

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Oh, Brandon, did you break—

Amanda:  Exactly.

Julia:  —one of your—your bottles in half perhaps to give yourself a way of seeing?

Brandon:  Oh, I did, Julia.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric: I like that.

Brandon: I did, indeed. 

Julia:  'Cause otherwise, it's just clay. 

Eric:  Oh, so Bramble better help you so then— Bramble better help you, that's high level stuff.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Yeah, sure. You have yourself a makeshift diving bell? 

Brandon:  Yes. 

Amanda:  Yay.

Eric:  Bada, bababa.

Julia:  Cool.

Eric:  No— sorry. No, we're— that's— that's the—we're not playing that game. You just put it in your pointing click item bar at the bottom of the screen.

Amanda:  Nice.

Julia:  Cool.

Brandon:  Now, I would like to put it on and start collecting gas, and hopefully see if my persuasion changes, if my— my brain switches, if something happens, you know?

Eric:  Sure. I mean, well, why don't— hmm, is that like a constitution che— that would be an insight check. Do an insight check on yourself. I think that's— that's what— what insight would be, is emotional— emotional deals, emotional changes.

Brandon:  Okay.

Amanda:  You know, humans are the only animals that can do insight checks on themselves. 

Eric:  Damn.

Brandon:  That's true.

Julia:  It's important.

Amanda:  Elephants get close, but not quite.

Brandon:  Now, Eric, can I get advantage?

Amanda:  Because you're so old and you know yourself so well?

Brandon:  Because  I'm doing it on myself.

Julia:  He's been around so long, Eric. He's been in therapy.

Amanda:  Brandon, Brandon, wait. Brandon, can you— can you do “do I know you?” to yourself?

Brandon:  I can't because I wasted it already, but I— yeah, I do need to do that.

Julia:  Someone needed to take a nap but decided not to.

Eric:  You made an i—you made an item so you get advantage.

Amanda:  Yay! 

Eric:  You made— you made this.

Julia:  Yay.

Amanda:  Thanks, Eric.

Eric:  You un— uncovered a mystery, so that's one thing you have.

Julia:  Proud of you, Brandon.

Amanda:  Eric is taking us out for ice cream.

Brandon:  Okay, that's much better. First roll was a 2. Second roll was a 12 plus 4 for 16. 

Amanda:  Okay.

Eric:  Not bad.

Brandon:  Not bad. 

Eric:  You— you want to know if like you feel different? 

Brandon:  Yeah. So the assumption so far has been that the liquid that we exist in, the pickling brine—

Eric:  Sure.

Brandon:  —is affecting our ability to sort of, I guess like— well, it's— like— like rebel. Like, it somehow is keeping us down. You know, the water is the man, Eric.

Eric:  I understand. 

Julia:  Does Brandon thirst for revolution more now?

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Do I thirst for more revolution?

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Do I have a desire to build a guillotine?

Eric:  I think if you're trying to test this hypothesis of— if the liquid has some sort of sedative properties to make you all chill. You feel exactly the same. 

Brandon:  What?

Eric:  I'll tell you, you don't feel indifferent. I'm going to disprove this hypothesis.

Amanda:  Hmm.

Eric:  The liquid does not have any sedative powers.

Amanda:  Maybe it's the food.

Brandon:  But then why did Di tell us to make a cup? 

Amanda:  Maybe for escaping, I don't know.

Eric:  But you do have this diving bell, and that is good.

Amanda:  Hmm.

Julia: Okay.

Brandon:  Huh.

Eric:  In fact, I wanted to go further as you— you're walking around with this diving bell, Umbi.

Brandon:  Just bumping in your shit.

Amanda:  In the house, not near the skylight.

Eric:  You're walking around, you're trying to walk around. Yeah, you get a little too close to the skylight and then— and Kidd Cervantes like springs over and grabs you and pulls you back. And you can see that there is a barnacle that is perched on the top of the roof.

Julia:  Hmm. Interesting. 

Brandon:  So do we need to be captured? Like, what's the deal here? 

Julia:  No. Brandon, when Cammie wakes up, can she try to cast some spells with that?

Brandon:  Oh, yeah.

Amanda:  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brandon:  Yeah, yeah.

Eric: Yeah. I think you guys have been doing this for a while. There's— there's— I think we can time jump here between—before everything. And Cammie, after a long rest—

Brandon:  Wait, wait, wait. Can I wake Cammie up? 

Eric:  Yeah, sure.

Brandon:  Can the guy with a monster diving bell just go—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  —hover over Cammie and just be like, like Darth Vader?  

Julia:  Cammie goes—

Julia (as Cammie): [snores]

Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie—

Julia (as Cammie): Oh.

Eric:  Cammie, you're on the phone with Baba Rutabaga and she's like—

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Yeah, and then this corn squirrel came by.

Julia (as Cammie): Aw.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): Anyway, she was on— was on the porch, and I told the— told the corn squirrel to go away and it didn't. And like—

Julia (as Cammie): Did you curse it?

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): I did. 

Julia (as Cammie): Oh, okay. So now— so now a squirrel has cursed abilities. Cool.

Eric (as Baba Rutabaga): It— it's mostly eyes now.

Julia (as Cammie): Wow.

Brandon:  What's a squirrel?

Eric:  It's a corn squirrel, Brandon.

Brandon:  What's a corn squirrel?

Amanda:  It has eyes.

Eric:  It's a regular corn— it's a regular squirrel, but it's made out of corn.

Brandon:  Corn.

Julia:  It's a squirrel, but it's got a corn cob for a tail. 

Eric:  Yeah, Brandon, you Philistine.

Amanda:  Yeah. Every idiot knows about that.

Eric:  You fucking dumbass.

Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, wake up. [heavy breathing]

Julia (as Cammie): Oh. Good— good morning. Umbi?

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, it's me, Umbi.

Julia (as Cammie): Oh, hey, I smelled the green peppers.

Amanda (as Troy): I learned some things about the history of this place, but also Umbi found a way what you don't have to breathe the water. 

Julia (as Cammie): Oh. Cool.

Brandon (as Umbi): It didn't do anything for me.

Julia (as Cammie): You want me to try it?

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. 

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. 

Julia:  Cammie puts it on.

Eric:  Cammie, it smells so bad of green peppers in there. It's— it is like— it's like ripe in the diving bell. 

Julia:  Cammie goes—

Julia (as Cammie): Candy blast. 

Julia:  Does it work?

Eric: [Jackpot noise]

Julia (as Cammie): Whoa.

Eric:  You can just— are smacking Bramble with candy, being like—

Eric (as Bramble): Ow! Ow! Stop! It's getting in my thorns!

Julia (as Cammie): Oh, nice. We did it. 

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, no, he's gonna crinkle like cellophane every time he rolls.

Eric:  Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle.

Julia:  They're unwrapped candy, Amanda.

Amanda:  Okay. Good, good.

Eric:  It's sticky.

Julia:  'Cause it has to be sticky.

Eric (as Bramble):  Oh, it's sticky.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. This is great. We can do so much now.

Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, it's amazing.

Brandon (as Umbi): That's great. I'm so glad it worked. 

Amanda (as Troy): We are not allowed to have the bell in view of anyone because they— they must know that it's bad if— if you're not breathing in the— the me—the water stuff?

Julia (as Cammie): Well, I guess we'll just have to be unseen, then. 

Julia:  And Cammie just like says that very temptingly and being like—

Julia (as Cammie): I have a secret. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Huh.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, cool. Also I— I read that book.

Julia (as Cammie): Oh.

Amanda: And Troy kind of like looks like a little bit hesitatingly at Bramble.

Julia (as Cammie): Did you read it, or did you read it? 

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, I read it— I read it all the way with my body and brain. Yeah. 

Julia (as Cammie): Oh. Okay.

Amanda (as Troy): Gloria was there. It was crazy, she had like—

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Amanda (as Troy): —80 lines on her face instead of a 100. 

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Julia (as Cammie): Whoa.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. And they were here in South Kompos City around a fountain, and the fountain is what the dragon comes out of now.

Julia (as Cammie): Oh.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.

Amanda (as Troy): And they were talking all about how things were bad. And then someone at the meeting, they thought I was a waiter, it's not important. I know, I was really brave and—

Julia (as Cammie): You don't have waiter energy, Troy.

Amanda (as Troy): —I let them think— well, I let them think I was a waiter, so like I'm really down-to-earth, I know. And— and then—and then someone, like, exploded out of their skin, and they were all covered in moss, and everyone was like, "Ah, ah, ah, run away. Ah, ah." And it was like a monster. 

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Amanda (as Troy): But he was just a guy before.

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Julia (as Cammie): You-- Did— did they say what kind of monster he was?

Amanda (as Troy): Lichenthropy.

Julia (as Cammie): Or just— was he just cursed? Lichenthropy.

Julia:  I'm gonna roll.

Eric:  Sure.

Julia:  I want to know if I know about that. 

Eric:  Yep.

Julia:  [dice roll] Okay. What am I adding, arcana or nature?

Eric:  Yeah, that's—that's arcana, baby.

Julia: Okay, they're both 5s, so it's a 19. 

Eric:  Okay, 19. Lichenthropy, you get bit by a cursed lichen. It could be like in the woods, or it could be down on the beach and you got bit. And then after a few days as it works its way through your bloodstream, you get turned into a giant lichen monster, and you're just like a big moss. The— the thing that's different about werewolves, in our age, is that you're only a lichenthrope for 12 hours until you just turn into a moss-covered boulder. 

Brandon:  That's cool. 

Amanda:  Hmm.

Julia:  Have we noticed a lot of moss-covered boulders in this area, in this vicinity?

Eric:  There's some around everywhere. Lichenthropes also are known just kind of as a tale you tell children.

Julia:  Hmm.

Eric:  Be like, "Hey, don't go running around the forest by yourself, or you get bit by like a lichenthrope." And it's like, "Look, that's— that's what it used to be." And there's just like a big boulder covered in— in moss.

Julia: To be fair, that's what they say about witches, Eric. 

Eric: Julia, you're absolutely fucking right. That's what they say about changelings, my man.

Amanda:  We are the women they couldn't burn. 

Eric:  So, there are rocks covered in moss everywhere. So there are some here. I don't think you would have noticed it. Imagine going into a town and being like, "Hey, does this town— how many— does it have more light posts than there should be? Because these light posts are Slender Man."

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Like, it's something that you wouldn't— even if you're thinking about it before—

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  —you wouldn't be able to, like, necessarily put that together unless you were actively investigating it. You know what I'm saying? 

Amanda:  Yes.

Julia:  Cammie relays all of that— that she knows about lichenthrope.

Eric:  Did she say the thing about Slender Man, too?

Julia:  She definitely said something about Slender Man, 100%.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Julia:  She said—

Julia (as Cammie): Slender Man. What— what if— go with me here. I'm— I'm not—I'm anti-curse in general, as we've established.

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.

Julia (as Cammie): However, and this is going to seem like a wild concept, what if we infected the bramble dragon with lichenthropy? 

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh. Turn it into a big boulder. 

Julia (as Cammie): Because then it would just turn into a boulder after 12 hours. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): And then it's not a danger anymore. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, how do we get an active biting lichenthropy guy. 

Julia (as Cammie): I think we can maybe just scrape some moss off and then toss it in its mouth.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.

Amanda (as Troy): Well, I feel like the— the only thing is for me, the dragon did not do anything wrong, and I want to free it, and ride it, and make it become a second best friend after my son, the pumpy.

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, that's a conflict of interest here.

Julia (as Cammie): Well—

Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm. What if we— what if we infected the guards and then they turn all the other people who work in the prison evil?

Julia (as Cammie): Also a good option.

Amanda (as Troy): Then we can climb up the boulders, get out of here.

Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, now that you could do magic, can you do anything to, like, make the dragon cool and ni— nice and on our side?

Julia: Can I do anything that makes the dragon cool and nice and on our side? That's not really my specialty, is making people nice and cool and on our side.

Eric: Cammie, as you're looking around in your stuff, Kidd Cervantes stands up suddenly.

Julia (as Cammie): What's up, Kidd?

Eric:  And holds a pin cushion hand up.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, what up?

Eric:  And then puts it on his not-mouth.

Julia (as Cammie): Shh, shh, shh. Quiet.

Eric:  And then takes a step out towards the door, quietly. Picks up a pin cushion, a literal pin cushion on Bramble's— one of Bramble's random side tables. And then suddenly throws open the door and throws the pins. And he goes, "Bfftt!" And then you hear womp, womp, womp, as three barnacles fall in sequence down on the ground. Kidd Cervantes looks at you, makes a slashing gesture towards Bramble, and Bramble says— 

Eric (as Bramble): I don't know what your plan is, but you're not safe, not safe here anymore. Whatever you're doing, you better do it now. 

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