When you think about it, pirates have heists too. But when you’re doing them all the time, it’s a lot less formal. It’s more like, “let’s go get ice cream! Someone might die but… we could all be rich and our compatriots could be free!”
A recruiting cap’t came our way / From an inn near town at the close of day. He said my Troy, m’boy, you're a fine young man / Would you like to free the men with your outstretched hand / With a scarlet coat and a fine cocked hat / And a crossbow at your shoulder? / The dubloom he took and he kissed the book / Oh our sweet Troy what'll happen to ya?
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
[theme]
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. "The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire." This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the party.
Eric: Everyone takes a break at old Bramble's house, and you know what they say, when you're resting, you're brambling. Cammie takes a long rest and sleeps and communicates with Baba Rutabaga on her dream phone. She realizes that something about her hexes are different than her spells, and that's why she can do them in the brine. Troy jumps into the book of meaning notes that he finds on Bramble's bookshelf that Bramble's scavenged from just brambling around. He observes a city council meeting of South Kompos City, which has an infestation of lychenthropy, moss covered boulders that bite others and turn them into monsters, until turning back into boulders. Umbi gets sciencing, science, science, science, and realizes he can blow up his bombs and also do spells if he makes an air pocket away from the brine. There isn't a lot of time to prepare the crew's next move as Kidd Cervantes shoots down some barnacles that are spying on Bramble's house. If they're gonna get out of here, they better do it fast. Let's get the party started.
Eric: I want the first thing of this episode, the first things that I say to be— as, like, a real prologue to whatever's gonna happen today is— you know, you guys can just, like, do stuff to me, and I'm open to it.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I'm open, and I'm willing, and I'm interested, and I want to see what you are all— what you're all thinking, what— what— what you're all doing here.
Brandon: Eric, don't move. I'm gonna tickle your feet.
Eric: No. Okay, I don't want that.
Brandon: I will tickle your feet.
Eric: That's— Brandon, that's not what I want. I'm consenting to you all figuring stuff out, but I'm not consenting to you all tickling my feet.
Julia: I guess a question for my fellow players.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: We now have an ability for our spellcasters, I'm including Umbi within this, to cast our— our spells again.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: What do we want to do with that?
Eric: Oh, actually, you get some negative bonuses because you look stupid with a big— with a big pot on your head.
Julia: Listen, I'll take disadvantage on charisma checks while wearing this, it's fine, whatever.
Brandon: I don't think so, Eric. I think the pottery is really cool.
Julia: Umbi puts it on, and he looks like Darth Vader, as we established.
Eric: Yeah, with your little goggles you put in the middle of it.
Amanda: Brandon's favorite baseball hat is terracotta, not the color, the material.
Julia: A cool terracotta.
Eric: Better try to catch a base of a home run in it, and then it just shatters.
Brandon: It just shatters. That's funny. Here's my question, because my, quote-unquote, "magic" is bomb-based, if the bomb is in the magic— anti-magic field, even though if I am not, does it work?
Eric: Well, that's a good question. We did figure out that Cammie can candy blast in there, but you— I don't know if you've tested any bombs or not. So that's a good question. You— you might need to, like, figure it out.
Brandon: Okay. Okay, okay.
Eric: Spend some time. Well, you know, here's what's happening, to pick up where we left off, you're still hanging out at Bramble's house. Troy has read one book in there extensively—
Amanda: You only need one.
Eric: And Kidd Cervantes shot down a few barnacles that are looking in at what y'all are doing. I'd say— I mean, since Cammie did a full rest, it's been more than 8 hours that you've been hunkered down there. The food and the dragon should be happening at some time in the next few hours. And as Bramble said before—
Eric (as Bramble): If you're gonna do something, you better do it soon. And, you know, if you want to take me with, I fit in a bag or in a pocket, or, like, adorned upon your head, if you want to, like, break me out as well. I didn't want to pressure you in the previous episode, but now, I just, like, wanted to let you all know if you're doing a breakout, seems— seems good. I'm fun to be around. Let me know.
Amanda (as Troy): Gotta bring our chief pottery officer.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can you change size? If you could be a pocket size or bag size?
Eric (as Bramble): Yeah, I can condense.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.
Eric: You know, Brandon— Brandon is like one of those— one of those plastic toys where it's a ball that goes all the way out and all the way in.
Brandon: That's pretty tight.
Eric (as Bramble): You know, I can get started on more pots right now.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, do that.
Eric (as Bramble): You need more pots?.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Bramble): I like your big pot, but I feel like you're gonna need more.
Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, if you— if you put your— your bomb in a little pot, and then took the water out the— the little pot, replace it with air, would the bomb work?
Eric (as Bramble): Probably. I don't know.
Julia (as Cammie): Do you want to just, like, open the door, put the helmet on, roll one of your regular bombs out the door, see if it explodes?
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I have bombs that won't hurt us. Let's do—
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know. Seems lame. What if there was a big explosion instead?
Eric (as Bramble): How are you supposed to know a bomb works if it doesn't go big boom? That's just what I'm saying, me, Bramble.
Eric: And Kidd Cervantes nods sagely.
Brandon: Can I put our helmet on and just, like, toss a teleportation bomb across the room and see if I teleport?
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Smart.
Eric: Inside the house?
Brandon: Yeah, but, like, not, you know, avoiding the open ceiling and stuff. Just like, you know, an inch or two, not anything crazy.
Eric: No, I got you. Yeah, you roll the teleportation bomb, it goes, "Psss." And you're just kind of standing there with a pot on your head.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, so no.
Amanda (as Troy): Bombs need a hat, too.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't know. Maybe I did that one wrong.
Julia (as Cammie): Bomb needs hat ,too.
Brandon (as Umbi): Bombs need a hat.
Eric (as Bramble): Bomb— bombs need a hat.
Eric: Kidd Cervantes nods sagely.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, also, here's the thing, we all have the ability to shape water.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Could you potentially—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): —create a bigger air bubble by putting the helmet on and then shaping water so it's out?
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Well, you'd have to have the helmet on to start the spell to then—
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): —do the magic to start the shaping. But, like, it would take a lot of force to shape enough water to move it out of, like, a room, but maybe a little bit around you.
Eric (as Bramble): I don't know. I only have this small pottery wheel, and I don't know if I can make anything bigger.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't think you need to make anything bigger. I'm saying if you have just the helmet on, theoretically, you could shape the water to create a bigger bubble around you.
Eric: Cammie, you're gonna have to do a science check, so you're going into a Bill Nye sort of state, where your head is flying everywhere, and there's science equations going everything. And give me an arcana check.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: I think Julia is right, because it says you can cause water to form into simple shapes and animate at your direction. And this change lasts for one hour. We can make a bubble.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: I rolled a 13 plus 5 for an 18. I'm thinking like, you know, in that episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, where the bridge is out, so they create like an air-bending, water-bending bubble?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cammie, the Science Guy. Sorry, what was that?
Brandon: Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam.
Eric: No, I— I agree. Okay, here we go. 18, I'll give you some science. What did Baba Rutabaga say about your hexes?
Julia: That I am capable of casting them even in this water.
Eric: Right, but you— in order for you to use other spells, you need to be under your hat, right?
Julia: Right.
Eric: You know the part of the Dungeons & Dragons handbook that we don't look at, the one where you need, like, bat guano to make fireball happens?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So the whole thing about shape water is that it's both— you speak it out loud, but there's hand movements involved, right?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: You would need something big enough to have both at your head and your hands out of the liquid in order for you to do it. I'm not saying you can't do it, but as Bramble said can't really make anything bigger than the small wok-sized pot. You need to be outside of the liquid already and enough of you need to be outside of the liquid already, in order for you to do that, for you to have enough people to make shape water happening all at the same time, to make the actual bubble. I'm not saying this is impossible. I'm just saying enough people would have to have heads and hands out of the liquid in order to make something this large.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam Nye, the Science Guy.
Brandon: I mean, we could— Cam Nye. I mean, we could easily, just, like, swim to the top and then have our heads and hands out of the water—
Amanda: It's true.
Brandon: —that way.
Julia: True. I worry that once they see us swimming to the top and doing that—
Brandon: Yeah, they're gonna—
Amanda: Yes, cut us down.
Brandon: —try to fuck us up.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: But there's ways around that.
Brandon: You can also cast spells through Nonny, right?
Julia: Yes, but then I think Nonny would also have to be outside of the— the field.
Amanda: Well, Nonny could be in the bell.
Julia: Nonny could be in the bell.
Brandon: Nonny could be in the— the bell.
Amanda: Her whole self.
Eric: Similar deal.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. Hmm. Okay.
Amanda: Can— Troy is gonna turn to Kidd and say—
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, can— can you or one of your siblings bring over the— the barnacle you shot down? I want to take a look at these things that— that are spying on us.
Eric: Yeah, sure. Outside, one of the Cervantes siblings kind of, like, does a— a big cactus yawn and leans down, grabs one of the barnacles and shot full of needles, and kind of, like, flips it inside of the front door.
Amanda: Troy watches it happen. Never seen sleight of hand before. He's like—
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa. It's amazing.
Julia (as Cammie): Like magic.
Eric: And Kidd Cervantes is just— Kidd just kind grabs it out of the air and gives it to—
Amanda (as Troy): How can you do spells? Cammie, what is this? Is it a creature or like a— like a spy rig?
Julia (as Cammie): Excellent question.
Julia: I rolled a Nat 20.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: Pretty good.
Julia: Cool. Neat.
Brandon: I think that is good.
Eric: Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam. Cam Nye, the Science Guy.
Amanda: Got one nap and they— they roll Nat 20s only,
Eric: Yeah. I mean, what do you— what do you want to know?
Julia: Troy, what do you want to know?
Amanda: I want to know if they're mechanical or magical in nature. And I want to know if there are any vulnerabilities we can exploit apart from just blasting them apart.
Julia: And/or just kind of blinding them, too.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Ooh, sorry, one more question—
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: —to include in a Nat 20, are they all interconnected?
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: I presume, but yeah.
Eric: Yeah. I think the Cervantes siblings can grab the other two, because Kidd Cervantes shot down three. And you can examine all three— all of them are shot full with— with cactus needles, which kind of makes it hard to examine, but you can kind of crack it apart. So, again, imagine you're looking at a barnacle, but it's a big barnacle. It's kind of like the size of a— of a softball, in my head, right?
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: Again, I'm imagining like an '80s action movie where, like, tech is just like shot through with Arnold Schwarzenegger bullets.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: So it's like all— it's all kind of like smoking and electric and stuff. So there's like weird blue mollusk blood kind of all over everything, but there's also some sparking technical components inside. You can crack it open. So it seems there is— there's a barnacle piece, which is the big eye and the shell. And then inside, there is jammed some technology, including a receiver.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: A little video camera, a little microphone, and a little receiver inside, and each of them all have the same receiver. If they're all having the same receiver, they're all going to the same place. I would assume that a camera system that's in a secret prison no one knows about, run by the World Government isn't being broadcast everywhere. So this is probably some sort of closed-circuit stuff that's going towards whoever is running this prison.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: Right?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: In terms of exploiting it, obviously, shooting them down, obviously, blinding them is important. But I think the technology inside is relatively small. The big— larger part of this— the largest component in this whole thing is the eye. Someone, either through magical or evolutionary means, has kind of, like, hacked this barnacle to have big eye.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Which barnacles usually don't have.
Julia: Interesting.
Eric: Because they don't— they don't have an at all.
Brandon: That you know of.
Amanda: Oh, shit.
Brandon: Oh, shit.
Eric: Oh, that's a new conspiracy theory. Some— yeah, some stuff is going on here.
Julia: Interesting.
Eric: They all look the same, both the barnacles themselves and the technology inside. The only difference is probably some, like, quote-unquote, "shell differences" just from being in different places. Maybe some has moss in one part, some has dirt caked in another part. But they all seem incredibly similar to each other. Any other questions? Follow-up questions for your Nat 20, my friends?
Julia: Anything from anyone else? Because I think I'm— I'm pretty satisfied with those answers.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I don't think so.
Amanda: Does it remind us of the networked goons from Hot House with the shared brain?
Eric: Oh, what a good connection, Troy Riptide. Yeah, I would say so. I'd say that— that multiple things with the same receiver going to the same place, definitely something you've seen before.
Amanda: I see one scary brain what can't think for itself, I've seen them all.
Eric: That's true. Lots of scary brains. Can't— can't think for self.
Julia: I wonder if that means this is like a hive mind situation. So if I, like, were to cast a spell on one of these, would it affect all of them?
Amanda: Good question.
Eric: Interesting point. Interesting point.
Brandon: I don't know.
Julia: Because I do have a spell called blindness.
Brandon: Well, my thought right now, is— is there a way that we can get this dragon to start a rampage and then use that as a distraction to escape?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: So the way— the only way that I have that is, like, do do two— I do do two times damage to structures and objects. So I could try to blast a chain or the collar or something, and I have time demolition. So if I could get a thing of shape water around myself and plant a bomb, I have to stay there within the air pocket, but I'd only take half damage with evasion. So it's possible.
Eric: Got it.
Julia: Uh-hmm. I do have, as well, the spell rusting grasp.
Brandon: Oh, yeah.
Julia: Which I have to look at the specifics of again, but—
Amanda: Rusting metal.
Brandon: Yes.
Julia: —could be helpful in weakening the chains, potentially.
Amanda: That sounds great.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: So, Brandon, we know, first of all, what everyone knows, that every bomb needs its own hat. Secondly, if you—but if you like—
Brandon: Sounds like such education course.
Amanda: Oh, boy.
Eric: A chicken in every pot and a bomb with every hat.
Amanda: You don't have to wear a helmet to throw a bomb if the bomb is within air lock, right?
Eric: Correct.
Brandon: Correct.
Amanda: So also, an air lock is just sphere of pottery is not— I mean, I guess technically, it's a vessel, but we could probably disguise them a little bit easier.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: So if, for example— so how— so teleportation bomb, do they— does it go to a place of your choosing?
Brandon: No.
Amanda: Or— or you go to where the bomb goes?
Brandon: I just go where the bomb goes, but that's a good point. If I could build some bomb cages that are airtight.
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: I could put a bomb in one, like a regular bomb, and a teleportation bomb in another, and— yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a good idea.
Amanda: Because we could teleport the dragon, ideally, is what I would like to do.
Brandon: I can't teleport other people. That's the thing.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: Unless they throw it, but I don't— I don't think I can get the dragon to—
Amanda: Well, if you like—
Eric: Sorry, dragon have no thumbs. Sorry. Dragon, no thumbs.
Amanda: It's possible you, like, sat on the dragons, like you touched it. I don't know.
Julia: I've got some spells potentially for that. I've— I've slept, and now I have so many spells slots. However, I would also say if we wanted to transport some pottery that could be covers for bombs, we could use the, like, crate of rejected food that the cheese rollers are using.
Amanda: Oh, and, like, bring it to the guards?
Julia: Well, not even bring it to the guards. Just hide the bomb—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: —stuff underneath the—
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: —crate of stuff.
Amanda: That's great.
Eric: They— they do put out a new crate every time they put out food. That's where—
Julia: There you go.
Eric: —that's where the food comes out of. They, like, take a crate and they spill—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —it out and say like, "Go at it, you animals," and then they run away because they're cops.
Amanda: No, that's—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —that's great. But, I mean, could we perhaps, like, hack the barnacle to, you know, like, hide it in a crate, send it back in with them, or send some kind of bomb in with them?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Oh, I thought we were using the bombs in order to blow the dragon?
Brandon: I think we're just throwing out options on the table.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: I think we should either try to infiltrate the prison or get the dragon out.
Julia: Oh, I can infiltrate the prison. I didn't know that that was our game plan.
Amanda: Just putting it on the table.
Julia: I got— I got things.
Brandon: I think we need to do both. I think the best i— best idea is to get the dragon loose—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: —as a big, old distraction, and then infiltrate the prison.
Amanda: Yeah. Because I— I'm cur— I'm invested in the fountain now. Like, if the dragon is where the fountain was, I saw in that meeting, the statue was there, it was the center of the town. There's something important under there. The dragon's either hiding or they're guarding something important, or they put it in an important place. And I think we should primarily focus on freeing the dragon.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: I'm sorry. Amanda, did you mean that you wanted to infiltrate, like, the prison as in where the guards are, or you want to infiltrate past the dragon?
Eric: Let's see— let me give you a vocabulary for this. Let's call it the facility. The prison is the town.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: The facility is where all the stuff is.
Amanda: Thank you. I was talking about potentially infiltrate— infiltrating the facility, but I primarily want to let the dragon free and then, like, jump in the hole and see what was down there.
Brandon: I imagine the hole is probably attached to the facility somewhere.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: But I agree with you, Amanda. If it's not, I would rather go into that center of town hall.
Amanda: Yeah. Because, like, someone's like, hoisting it up, whether it's like the column or the— you know, whatever.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon: It's like a pop star trick stage, you know, where they—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —Psy goes underneath the stage and then jumps out at the correct moment, you know?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: So if bombs can now work and Cammie has hexes and spells back, like that's what I want to focus on, is getting the dragon out.
Julia: So might I suggest then, that we create tiny holders for bombs, place them around where the dragon comes in, because you have timed bombs now right, Brandon?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Blow that up, release dragon, try to jump in hole?
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Right.
Julia: Yeah. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Amanda: No.
Eric: Give me— why don't you guys give me two seconds? Don't look at— don't look what I'm doing. Give me two seconds. I realized there's something I wanted to make.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: Is it a seven-layer bean dip?
Eric: Brandon, can you not spoil what I'm doing with the microphone, please?
Amanda: What if you— what if you meet someone and— and they're trying to sell you, like, bootleg handbags or something and seven beans and a trench coat?
Eric: I would hate that.
Julia: Seven beans and a trench coat.
Amanda: That'd be pretty cute.
Eric: I would hate that.
Brandon: I would love that. Did you say two toots?
Julia: I said two bits, but two toots is better.
Eric: It's something— something Amanda would say, is two toots.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yep.
Eric: Okay, yeah. So what— yeah, what do y'all want to do?
Brandon: Yes. Can you do resting grasp, Julia?
Julia: I can, but I think your bombs will be pretty good. The problem is for like, non-magical metal, I can deteriorate it, but only in a one square foot cube.
Brandon: I think that's all we need. I think we just need to blast—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Because I don't know how many bombs I can make that go off at once. I don't— that might be too fudgy.
Amanda: You should rust the part where the collar meets the chain.
Brandon: Would there be a limit to, Eric, to, like, the amount of time bombs I could put around?
Eric: I mean, you know, explosions trigger other explosions. I think your biggest limit here is the number of pots that Bramble can make for you.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Bramble 's, like—
Eric (as Bramble): Yeah. I'll start making— I mean, we'll have to— you know, I'll have to make the vase, then you can put it inside the vase, and then I gotta close— close the vase. So I can— yeah, I can definitely make, at least, I don't know, four or five, six, I'll give it a shot.
Julia (as Cammie): That's pretty good.
Brandon (as Umbi): That'd be great. Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Eric (as Bramble): If we're— are we making moves? We're making a move right now?
Julia (as Cammie): We're making moves, Bramble.
Brandon (as Umbi): We're making moves, baby.
Eric (as Bramble): And you're gonna take me out of where— and we're gonna— I'm gonna go with you to wherever we're going?
Julia (as Cammie): Sure.
Brandon (as Umbi): You know what, Bramble? If you could expand, we could— we can hide the bombs inside of you.
Eric (as Bramble): No.
Julia (as Cammie): I— I also have a plan for hiding the bombs.
Eric (as Bramble): Hey, hey, Hey, Umbi, fuck you. That's rude, and I'm helping.
Amanda (as Troy): You and all seven Cervantes siblings are coming with us, right, bud?
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, yeah, we did promise Kidd that we would get them out, so—
Amanda (as Troy): And everybody else who wants to get out of here, they're coming with us.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, some of them are, like, murderers and stuff.
Brandon (as Umbi): Some of those— some of the Cervantes are?
Julia (as Cammie): No. I— I'm just talking about everyone in the prison in general.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay.
Amanda (as Troy): I mean, us too, with— with our negligence and the whole stadium situation. But, you know, they— they can—
Julia (as Cammie): That's not murder. Murder has to be premeditated.
Amanda (as Troy): They— they can come out. They can— I got murder in my heart for Threelips, does that count?
Julia (as Cammie): No, because you didn't do it.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, but it's in my heart, and everyone knows.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, but if— if and when you do kill Threelips, I'm not gonna put you in prison. So maybe we should take everyone out, you know?
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, Umbi. You are my best friend.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yes.
Eric (as Bramble): I think that we have a lot of— we're deciding a lot of limitations of what or what is not good for prison in—
Julia: Brandon, what should we do again?
Eric (as Bramble): —in a black— in a black site that lots of us were just thrown into. I'm in here because of tax fraud. We all talked about this—
Julia (as Cammie): Right, right.
Eric (as Bramble): —on an— on an— on an enterprise level.
Julia (as Cammie): Right. That's fine. That's okay. I like— I like that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Honestly, that's just impressive.
Amanda (as Troy): No matter what a Greenfolk did, they don't deserve to be in a prison like this.
Eric (as Bramble): I extremely agree with that.
Eric: Kidd Cervantes nods sagely. Alright, so, yeah, y'all have a few— like I said, y'all have a few hours before the guards come out and give food, and then a little bit after that, the blackberry dragon is coming again. Let me know what you want to do. Let's get this breakout plan going. It's like Prison Break, but Season One and Two.
Brandon: Whoa. At the same time?
Eric: Yeah. You guys have to tattoo a map of the prison on you, and then whatever happens in Season Two. I don't know.
Julia: Wild.
Amanda: Eric, you just unlocked a memory for me of my dad being like, "He got out. What's the show now?" I know. I feel like Troy is not going to be super helpful with the bomb-cloaking and vase plan. So unless you guys could think of something that he could do specifically, I would love for Troy to do target practice with his arrows with the Cervantes siblings, to try to get more acclimated to the trajectory of the arrows in the water.
Eric: Hmm. Smorp, smorp.
Julia: Yeah. The only thing I was gonna suggest Troy do, because Troy is, I believe, the strongest of us, or at least the most—
Amanda: Plus one.
Julia: —dexterous of us.
Amanda: Plus 2.
Julia: Is, like, kind of wading through the masses to get the crate that we could potentially hide these in.
Amanda: I could do that, too.
Julia: But that's only like a momentary thing. Like, if he needs time to do other things, he can still do them.
Brandon: I have a plus 3 to dex.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: So I'm— I'm fine to—
Amanda: Or we can send a— a Cervantes sibling out. It sounds like nobody is like—
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: —using these crates for stuff.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: It seems like it could be easy.
Brandon: I think a target practice would be worth it.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: That's a good idea.
Brandon: Eric, I—
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —would love a like— just the best massage that Dr. Havana Tropicana can give to me, and give me some of them HP points back.
Eric: Yes. I think that while Cammie slept, Dr. Havana Tropicana can come up with a little bit of a salve for y'all, to maybe heal you a little bit. You know, the whole thing about not being magical is that you don't just snap your fingers and healing— and the healing starts, but at least you can patch up your wounds in a nice way. So I'd say, Troy and Umbi, please heal yourself for 13 points of damage.
Brandon: Okay, okay. It's respectable.
Amanda: I'll take it.
Eric (as Havana): This is all the poultices that I could put together and as much as I could. There's a lot of dirty gauze, which I think would be worse, but clean gauze at a premium for my friends.
Brandon (as Umbi): Don't forget my toes.
Eric (as Havana): No.
Amanda (as Troy): You need those to eat with, bud.
Brandon: That's true.
Julia: It's true.
Eric: It's true.
Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, do you need to take your special potion also? I don't know why it's special. I mean, the one in the holder I made you. I guess because I made you the holder is special to me, so—
Eric: Peepaw, take your special potion.
Amanda: Peepaw needs a special cigarette.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. Why not? Bottoms up.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Alright, remind me, how much did the potion heal you that—
Brandon: I think 15.
Amanda: 15.
Eric: 15, alright, 15 more HP for Umbi.
Julia: Solid.
Eric: What do you— what do you got total?
Brandon: Back up to 39.
Eric: Ooh.
Amanda: Good job, Gruncle Umbi.
Julia: I'm so nervous for everyone.
Eric: Yeah, Troy, I like— you and the Cervantes siblings can go shooting. How do you seem nonchalant while you're doing it while— while outside.
Amanda: Troy's gonna attempt to shoot his crossbow one-handed several times. It's impossible. You need to use two hands. You can't do that thing with— with one hand. So he's gonna try— he's gonna try, like, leaning against the wall, put it against his shoulder, and try to, like, put one leg up on a boulder, try to, like, use his knee as a brace, but then everyone's cracking up, and soon he gives up.
Eric: I love you and, like, six mute cactus cowboys—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —trying to— just, like, lining up cans and trying to shoot them down, and you're the only one who speaks.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: So I feel like— Troy, do you like, feel the silence? You're like, "Haha. Nice one."
Amanda: Yes. Exactly. Like—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah. No, that's cool. You guys read any books? I love books. Oh, it'd be fun to, like, shoot little, tiny barrels, I guess a bullet is a barrel when you think about it, but— but it— it's filled with things what go boom. Wow. A bullet is really kind of like Umbi's thing and my thing altogether, oh, my gosh. Oh, I— I love your shirt, man. That's awesome.
Eric: And then just a cactus looks at you and goes, "Ping," and shoots a can off of— of a rock.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright, show me, show me.
Amanda: And I think Troy will, like, ask them to help him adjust his, like, grip and his sights, because the trajectory of arrows in water different to arrows and air.
Eric: Yeah, sure. That sounds great. Let me roll something really quickly. [dice roll] Okay. How about every time you shoot, you roll a D20, and if you roll more than a five, you overcome the refractoriness of the— of the liquid down here?
Amanda: Okay. It's like counteract disadvantage.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. It's a counteract disadvantage.
Amanda: Cool.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: Hell yes.
Brandon: Eric, can I make an assumption that I can't also make a potion right now?
Eric: I think you're doing stuff with Bramble right now.
Brandon: Yeah, that's what I assume, yeah.
Eric: Right?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Because Bramble— you do need to, like, put your— your bombs inside of the hats.
Brandon: Right. Yeah. I gotta make the bombs. I gotta do some ghost situation with Bramble at the pottery wheel.
Eric (as Bramble): My one— Umbi, my one rule was no touching.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm a ghost, so I can't touch you with my bod.
Eric (as Bramble): No— no touching me while I'm doing pottery. It's my private time. So come ba— if you want to put the bomb in— in the vase, you come the other way. No, not behind me. You go in from— from the other side.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay. Fine. It's like you don't respect classic film.
Eric (as Bramble): I don't know. I thought you were alive, but if you're a ghost, you have to tell me right now.
Julia (as Cammie): We— we simply don't know if he's a ghost or not.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't even know, honestly.
Amanda (as Troy): Every day.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. He might be confused, like Bruce Willis in that one movie.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Every day's a miracle.
Eric: Brandon, why don't you roll a D4 for me? And I'm gonna roll a D4. Actually—
Amanda: What— what if instead the answer is 8? Have you considered that?
Brandon: Have you considered that, Eric?
Julia: Have we considered just letting him have the eight bombs?
Eric: Oh, that's really interesting, I haven't thought of that.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Brandon, why do you roll a D4?
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And I'll roll a D4. And we'll add them together and add 1, how about that?
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Ooh.
Brandon: [dice roll]
Eric: Alright. what'd you roll?
Brandon: I got a 4, baby.
Eric: You got a 4.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Wow. I sure do hope you're not cheating over there, Nat 20 and 4.
Amanda: That's 4, baby.
Eric: I love it. Alright. I got a 3, so I'll add 1 to that. So boom, you have 8 bombs you can throw.
Amanda: Yay!
Brandon: Amanda, how'd you do that?
Julia: Nice. Good job.
Eric: There we go. Love it. Cool. That would take your entire time of your prep time here—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —before go time. So— yeah. So you can do that.
Brandon: It's all about extra oxygen that Umbi ingested. He's just, like, fucking Nos’d up, baby.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Eric, can I drink some tea?
Eric: Oh, I mean, you can drink tea whenever you want, girlfriend. Don't— don't let no man stand in your way for you to drink tea.
Julia: Mostly, I'd like to use my class feature, shapes and omens.
Eric: Ah. Shapes and omens.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Love to shapes and omens. Remind—
Julia: Now, I've long rested.
Eric: Remind me what— what to shape and omen.
Julia: Alright. You can see deeper glimpses into the future through your tea leaves. When you finish a long rest, you can examine the shape of your tea leaves. The GM tells you a shape which hints at future events. For example, if you see a tower in a— in your tea leaves, you might encounter a wizard on the following day. If you see a serpent, you might encounter a liar or a monster.
Eric: Oh, yeah. This is really tarot-y, isn't it?
Julia: Yes. There's not very good examples.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: But I— I think that you could have a good time with this.
Eric: Yeah. You drink your tea and then you see Julia Schifini dead on the floor. Isn't that crazy?
Brandon: No.
Julia: That's very— very specific.
Eric: There's like that— there's that tweet that's like, "I go to a tarot reader and I pull a card that's me in an hot air balloon, getting— running into electrical wires."
Julia: Is that bad?
Eric: And— yeah. They say it's that bad. Okay, I will give you— I'm gonna give you a choice here, Julia. Would you like a clue that is a possibility, or would you like something that's more definite, but is at some indeterminate thing in the future?
Julia: I would like a clue.
Eric: You would like a clue?
Julia: Clue.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Because I still don't know what's going on.
Brandon: While Eric's thinking, do you think Umbi And Troy ever, like, prank Cammie by, like, arranging the tea leaves into funny shapes or words, or whatever?
Amanda: I think Troy tried to do that once, and Cammie looked at him with such forcefulness that he is fully convinced she can control his body if she wanted. Froze out of fear and he's like—
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa. She really froze me.
Amanda: And then he, like, backed away slowly.
Julia: Wild.
Eric: Cammie, you drink your tea, and in any other situation, I'd think this is something that any pirate would dream of to be in their tasseography, right?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: But in this situation, I wonder what you think of it. Your tea leaves show a treasure chest, but it's a treasure chest that's underground.
Julia: Buried treasure.
Eric: Yeah, it's a buried treasure. You see a chest that's underground, and then the tea leaves are like the ground around it, demonstrating that it's underground.
Julia: Okay. Cool.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): The tea leaves say we should definitely go into the ground, probably, the big hole.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do I get to dig up some big treasure?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck yes!
Amanda: Troy comes in from his— his practice.
Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, if we get out of here alive, I promise we should dig and roll every time.
Eric: Wait, what—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric: —what big hole are you talking about?
Julia: The— the— where the dragon is—
Amanda: Where the dragon is.
Julia: —coming out of.
Eric: Oh, the dragon's big hole. Sure.
Julia: Dragon big hole.
Brandon: Don't— let's not say dragon's big hole.
Julia: Dragon's big hole, the suck zone.
Eric: One, dragon has no thumbs. Two, dragon has suck soul. Three— three, dragon, big hole.
Brandon: Oh, this poor dragon.
Amanda: I know.
Julia: Dragons are hot, Brandon. I don't know what to tell you.
Amanda: Aw. Sad. Sad baby. So should we do this around feeding time for maximum confusion?
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. I was thinking about doing it, yeah, while the dragon was out.
Amanda: Like at feeding time, we can say to people, "Hey, you might want to take extra cover after this feeding," and then we'll do it during dragon time.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Well, we should lay the bombs down pre dragon time.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Otherwise, they're not going to get placed in the process—
Brandon: Correct. Yeah.
Julia: —we want them to be.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: And I don't really want to tell Captain Graft about it.
Julia: Oh, definitely not.
Brandon: Because he's a cheater, and cheaters never win.
Julia: Yeah. He sucks.
Brandon: And they also get blown out by dragons.
Eric: Cheaters never prosper.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: That's true, yeah. And us communicating will probably be a potential liability.
Eric: I like it.
Brandon: So should we just head that way?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I like it.
[theme]
Amanda: Hello, everybody. It's Amanda. And welcome to the midroll. I would love to thank our newest patrons, Troy and Miriam. Miriam who joined as an annual member, so thank you for listening to me last week, Miriam. Highly appreciate it. We highly appreciate the fact that all of you who support us on Patreon make room in your budgets to support this podcast, which could not exist without your support. So if you out there are resolving and hoping to support more of the media you love this year, we are really grateful that you include us on your list at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. As a thank you, you can get things like access to our patron-only Discord, ad-free episodes, and additional every other week podcast called Party Planning, where different combinations of me, Julia, Eric, and Brandon talk about the stuff we love, play games, anything that comes to mind. And recently, I caught everybody up on the Big Brother season, which is going incredibly. So thank you, and check us out, patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This Week at Multitude, there is great stuff going down on Big Game Hunger, a weekly comedy show where Jenna Stoeber and friends craft the next big video game every episode. They start with a randomly generated genre, concept, and vibe, and with those three variables. Jenna and a variety of funny and game-obsessed guests will take those ideas so far that, eventually, they can pitch it to a shadowy board of rich investors. By the end of the episode, they'll have honed an IP so irresistible, you'll be ready to risk $25 for it on Steam. So go on ahead, check out every single Monday. You will laugh and learn and yearn for titles that you kind of are gonna wish were real. That's Big Game Hunger in your podcast app. We are sponsored this week by Shaker & Spoon, the subscription cocktail service that helps you learn how to make handcrafted cocktails right at home. We love Shaker & Spoon, and I was actually wondering to myself, I was going to get a hostess gift for somebody who hosted Eric and me over the weekend. I was like, "Hmm, what can I send her? Ah, I know exactly what I'll send her." She has a incredibly extensive home bar, but I know that even when buying a gift for someone who is super into cocktails, Shaker & Spoon is worth it. It's not just a great way to level up your own home bartending skills, but also something that all of the, like, mixologist-obsessed folks among you will enjoy. They make their own powders, and spices, and tinctures, and all the little, like, drops and drips that you read in the recipe book, and you're like, "Blah, blah, blah. Okay. I don't really have any of those things." Shaker & Spoon make sure you have all of those things. I genuinely love them. They're a wonderful team. And you can go ahead and get either one box or a couple boxes, or sign up for a plan at shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty, where you'll get $20 off your first box. They are absolutely, wonderful partners. We want to go and keep supporting them, so check them out now, shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored this week by United By Blue, a sustainable lifestyle brand that prioritizes sustainable materials and ethical manufacturing to lead the charge toward a better business practice. They also remove a pound of trash from the oceans for every product purchased, hence, the name. That's been over 3.5 million pounds of trash so far, which I highly, highly appreciate. Now, I mentioned I was traveling, you know, something I didn't have to worry about is having an adorable bag exactly the right size for the overnight trip that I was taking, because I have some incredible sidekick bags from United By Blue. They are so cute. Everybody at Multitude was like, "Wait, I need one right now." And they are, again, best-case scenario, ethically manufactured with sustainable materials. This one, in particular, is both Blue sign and Akio tech certified fabric with recycled polyester trims and made out of recycled nylon, which you love to see. You can go now to unitedbyblue.com and use the code Join the Party to get 20% off your order. That's unitedbyblue.com and the code is Join the Party to get 20% off your order. And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Okay, folks. Alright, it's happening.
Brandon: It's happening.
Eric: It's happening.
Amanda: Hurray.
Eric: Alright. So after preparing, putting your bombs in pots, taking some shots, and drinking some tea delicately, y'all are gonna— y'all are gonna walk outside.
Brandon (as Umbi): Bramble, before we go, I just want to say, if we don't make it out, you've been my best friend, my closest ally, and the person I trust most with my life.
Eric (as Bramble): It seems like you're pre— you're pre grieving me. Do you—am I dying? Are you sacrificing me? I'm sticking on to someone else.
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Eric: Bramble sticks on to Troy's backpack.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, come on in, bud.
Julia (as Cammie): Honestly, he's probably the best one to stick on to.
Eric (as Bramble): Oh, I've seen. I've seen.
Amanda (as Troy): Are you interested in being shot into enemy territory if it comes down to it?
Eric (as Bramble): No.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay, cool. I'll keep you— I'll keep you with me.
Eric (as Bramble): What? No.
Amanda (as Troy): Just ask him.
Eric (as Bramble): All of you are reckless.
Amanda (as Troy): Probably. That's why we travel with a doctor.
Julia (as Cammie): That is true. Wow.
Eric: Before you all walk outside, Kidd Cervantes gathers all— all of the siblings inside and just makes, like, the universal gesture of, "Everyone, chill," of just like, "Calm down." He— like, like [inhales] but it's just like a cactus leading back and then forward, and just putting his hands out like le— like, "Calm down, okay?"
Amanda (as Troy): You're right, Kidd. We've faced bigger foes before, like each other.
Brandon (as Umbi): Was the angler fish bigger than this dragon. I don't think so. I think it's the biggest we faced.
Julia (as Cammie): No, definitely not.
Eric: Kidd Cervantes holds a hand out to Troy for like a action movie hero—
Brandon: Roman handshake.
Eric: —Roman handshake.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy does it like—
Amanda (as Troy): Ow, ow, ow.
Eric: And Troy— Kidd Cervantes— Kidd Cervantes in my head is always wearing like a Southwestern poncho, and he pulls it back to show his holster. There's cactus needles of all shapes and sizes, and, of course, his trusty gun pincushion, but slung into kind of, like, tucked into his holster band is the cloud key.
Julia: Ooh.
Amanda (as Troy): Gotta get your siblings out, no?
Eric: He nods sagely at you and moves his poncho back.
Amanda (as Troy): You're a man of your word, Kidd. I— I— I didn't even doubt it for a minute.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think— should we— hmm, should we take them with us, or should we come back once we've, like, you know, destroy the facility?
Amanda (as Troy): So Cervantes siblings, our plan, liberate the dragon, jump into the facility, and— and kill all those inside, will get in the way of us and our information. And you enter, you want the— the rescue boat on the way out.
Brandon (as Umbi): They could be helpful down there. I mean, you're all really good shots.
Amanda (as Troy): Sibling Cervantes, we'd love to have you.
Eric: Yeah, no, the Cervantes kids are in. They're happy to help.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Great.
Eric: In my head, there's like a klaxon alarm, because there's like a— like a speaker system that's, like, installed in the wall.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: But the— it's like a klaxon alarm of— of a triangle being hit.
Brandon: Like a meal time triangle?
Eric: Yeah, but, like— but it's like— it's like omi— it's ominous. It's ominous and mechanical.
Julia: It's a very big, deep resonating a triangle.
Amanda: It's a minor key.
Eric: [triangle sounds] And the doors are thrown open, and y'all are all heading to— to get your food.
Amanda: I think we should— nominally, we should just, like, pick up our food and then start wandering toward the dragon. Umbi and, you know, Cammie can go ahead and place the actual bombs, and we'll be, like, loitering nearby when the explosion happens.
Eric: Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Amanda: Does that sound good?
Brandon: Yeah. Just like, not— noshing down a piece of fucking gross sandwich or something.
Amanda: Yeah. An apple with, like, a— an emotional regulation problem.
Brandon: Right, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Same.
Brandon: That's me.
Eric: Cool. [dice roll] Alright. As all of you are walking, yep, the three of you, Bramble, Havana, Tropicana, and the Cervantes siblings being as nonchalant as possible, something's a little bit different when they open the doors today. There is the regular group of guards that brings out the big crate of food that they just kind of drop and spill over. Of course, there's also the big crowd of pirate prisoners that are coming to jump on this cornucopia, like the beginning of The Hunger Games. But there's also someone different, but you're still far enough away that you kind of see this coming. There's another group of guards who are streaming out of the front door. There are 10 of them. They're wearing the same uniforms, but there are two things that are very different about this group of 10 guards. The first of them is that they move slower because they have heavy shoes on. There are these big boots that have a ring of metal around all of them, they're moving slowly, but with purpose.
Brandon: Yeah, gravity boots on.
Julia: Yeah, so that they don't get sucked up by the dragon.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: And the other is that instead of faces, they have big barnacles with big eye.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Amanda: Scary.
Brandon: I hate that.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Hate that.
Eric (as Barnacle Guard): Pirate prisoners.
Eric: One of the barnacle guards say—
Eric (as Barnacle Guard): We are looking for the disgraced Prince Troy Riptide.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Barnacle Guard): If you could direct us where the disgraced Prince is, we will give you an extra ration of not rotted fruit and good-ish cheese. You will have an extra portion for at least the next two portions, and we'll put it far away from the dragon so it doesn't get sucked up immediately.
Julia: Great. I'm gonna go ahead and cast obfuscate.
Eric: Obfuscate?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: What does that mean?
Amanda: What is that?
Brandon: How are you casting? Do you have the helmet on?
Julia: This is a hex.
Brandon: Oh, it's a hex? Oh.
Julia: As an action, you create a 20-foot radius sphere of fog centered on yourself. The sphere spreads around corners and the area is heavily obscured. This effect lasts until the end of your next turn, which I can continue if I cackle, or until a wind of moderate or greater speed, which I don't imagine will happen underwater, disperses it.
Brandon: Until the dragon comes out, at least, yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Cammie, what does this look like?
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): [cackles]
Julia: And I picture tea steam that slowly transforms into fog, spills out of her mouth like a dry ice.
Eric: Hell yeah, dawg.
Brandon: Fuck the ectoplasm.
Amanda: Horrifying. I love it.
Eric: I love that.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. And Troy's gonna stand very still in the middle of that cloud.
Brandon: Well, we gotta keep moving towards the thing.
Julia: It's— it stays with me.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: Because it happens per turn. So as long as I quietly continue to giggle as we move, it'll stay with us.
Brandon: Which is normal for Cammie anyway.
Eric: So this is a cloud of steam?
Julia: It's a cloud of fog.
Eric: It's a cloud of fog, and how— remind me, how big is it?
Julia: 20-foot radius sphere.
Eric: 20-foot radius sphere. Okay.
Julia: I mean, I assume if they're taking attacks, it's done at a disadvantage because they can't see it. It's like an invisible creature.
Amanda: Yeah. Well, then, our whole group can fit in the sphere then, and we should just—
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: —like, drift off toward the dragon then and skip the food.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Yeah. I was gonna play this for when Umbi was planting the bombs, but we can still continue to do it.
Amanda: Yeah. Totally.
Eric: That's— alright. Fuck it. Let's see what happens.
Julia: Fuck it.
Eric: And that's when one— one prisoner says—
Eric (as Prisoner): Yeah, Troy. Uh, I mean, he's probably in that fog over there.
Eric: Points towards the fog. You're just doing it out there, Julia.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: You're just a cloud. You're just a— a circle of fog.
Julia: Yep.
Amanda: Troy puts a hand on both Cammie and Umbi shoulders, attempts for Kidd, says, "Ow," and then moves back to Cammie, and says—
Amanda (as Troy): Go on with the plan. I'll see you on the inside.
Amanda: And he rolls out of the fog, stands up tall, and starts walking toward the guards.
Eric: You're doing the op— you're just doing it?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Alright.
Brandon: Shit. This is a real Brandon move.
Eric: It's a real Brandon-ass move.
Julia: I mean, I knew this was gonna happen—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: —since Troy was like—
Amanda: No, I know.
Julia: "—Here's my wings."
Amanda: Yep. That was my plan.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: That was his plan.
Amanda: And he— he's trying to draw as much attention to pos— as possible, to himself. He spreads his wings out, and he's walking, and slow clapping like—
Amanda (as Troy): Wow. I'm amazed that you found me after I announced myself to you on your television set. Did take all 20 of you to find me. I'm not— I'm not the sharpest arrow in the quiver, but it seems like compared to the rest of you, I can cut glass, baby. Troy Riptide.
Amanda: And then he puts up— he makes a little tea with his hands. He's trying out some branding.
Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck. Cammie, did Troy just become the captain?
Amanda (as Troy): Enjoy the fruit. Enjoy the cheese. Never say Troy Riptide didn't do anything for you.
Eric: Alright. All 10 barnacle guards start slowly walking towards you. They pull out whips, and they turn on the switch, and the whips are electrified. And say—
Amanda (as Troy): I'm coming, bud.
Eric (as Guard): Disgrace, Prince Troy Riptide, you are coming with me. And it sounds like your magician has figured out how to do magic in here.
Amanda (as Troy): What are you talking about magic? No one can do anything around here.
Eric (as Guard): Where is the rest of your crew?
Amanda (as Troy): You asked for me. Here I am. I announce myself. Here I am.
Eric (as Guards): We will provide leniency if you tell us where the rest of your crew is.
Amanda (as Troy): You can lean over backwards and shove it up your own ass.
Brandon: We're— we're moving forward.
Julia: Yeah, we're— we're— we're booking it.
Eric: Okay. So you run and a cloud fog follows you.
Amanda: Yeah. But Troy's distracting the guards hopefully.
Brandon: It's like when a six-year-old goes underneath the blanket and then, like, runs across the floor, and is—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: —like, "You can't see me."
Eric: No, I thought that's what it was doing. I wanted to clarify that that's what you wanted to do. Hell yeah, make a break for it.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Troy's gonna try to intimidate the guards at the same time. So as I'm laughing, clapping, making a show, drawing the crowd in, I'd love to try to at least confuse and slow these guards slightly as to why exactly I'm being so cooperative.
Eric: Yeah, no, that sounds great.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Amanda: Alright. That's a 13 plus 6 for a 19. Intimidation.
Brandon: That's pretty good.
Eric: That i— yeah, that is pretty good.
Amanda (as Troy): You better be glad I'm coming willingly, because even 10 of you and your shoes can't take me.
Julia: To live with the confidence of Troy Riptide is my dream.
Amanda: Same, Julia. That's why I play him in a TTRPG.
Julia: I get it. Listen, TTRPGs are just therapy that we do with our friends.
Eric: I think we're gonna go into initiative, folks. Let's break out into the various in— we're gonna break out into the various groups we have here. So we have Troy—
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: —on his own, we have the fog crew at the moment.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And then we'll have the guards. But I think with a 19, first things first, Troy Riptide has stalled the guards for you to make one— one move without being chased. So what would you all like to do?
Brandon: Dash. How far away are you from the—
Julia: Dash.
Eric: Yeah, you can run.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric (as Guards): Secure the rogue Prince. Secure them.
Eric: All of the barnacle guards make a move towards Troy. Yeah. So, yeah, y'all want to haul ass over there?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Alright, cool. You can do one of two things. If we're looking at the map, the shortest distance, the straight line, you can go right towards the dragon, running past the doors. You can probably— you can get there in one turn, in this one— in this one action. However, if you take the long way around, you can get some cover, potentially lose them in some sort of way, and you won't get bared down on, what do y'all think?
Julia: Well, at this point— at this point, like it's one of those things where it's like, our— our cover is blown, you know? Having the— having the timed bombs, doesn't make too much sense.
Brandon: Here's— here's my thought, actually. Here's— here's an idea, Julia. Tell me what you think. Only one of us needs to make it there quickly. So if I or someone else take the bomb the long way, and then the other people in the fog continue on the short path and act as a distraction, then that might give us like a double advantage, you know? Or the reverse of that.
Eric: We love splitting up.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: These folks love splitting up.
Amanda: I had hopes that because they're just coming for me, they'll just take me away and then leave the rest of you in the prison.
Julia: Well, apparently, they want us too, though, according to the— the guard that just— was talking.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: And they're gonna take an opportunity attack against us, so—
Eric: Well, no, you— they're on Troy right now. You can run— what I'm saying is you can run past them, they won't take an opportunity attack of you, but they'll know exactly where you're going, is what I'm saying.
Brandon: Oh. Oh. I understand now.
Eric: Do you want to run— do you want to take the shortest distance? Which is going right there, but they know exactly where you are with this big ball of fog that's running right past them, or do you want to try to take the long way, possibly lose them and do something else?
Julia: We should head towards the main street, drop the fog—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —because it's more obvious than I had originally intended, but—.
Brandon: Wait, no, but this is my question, Julia, does it matter, I guess, if they know where we're going?
Amanda: I don't think it does, because the bombs will—you're just gonna set them off, right?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. I— I mean, I don't see anything that they can really do to stop— stop us, I say.
Amanda: Yeah. But you should keep the fog if it doesn't in—
Eric: Question mark. Stop us?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: You should keep the fog if it's not impairing something else you want to do, because then, disadvantage or auto fails.
Julia: I mean, I can— I can drop it at any point, so—
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: If I need to do something else, I can just drop it. So right now, it's fine.
Brandon: If— yeah, if we continue— if we get there quickly and we're continuing to be obscured, they're gonna see that we're at the dragon, but they're not gonna see that we're trying to plant bombs.
Amanda: I don't think it would ever occur to them that we're trying to break the dragon out, that’s--
Julia: Right.
Amanda: Stupid.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: I think let's go.
Julia: Cool. Good with me. Let's just do it.
Eric: Alright, cool. Alright. The whole fog crew are going to run— run right to the dragon?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, no, that's funny. Yeah, that's funny as hell. I just love the idea that Troy steps out of this cloud of fog, slow clapping, and then the fog just, like, runs away.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Eric, can I post it to you that, because when we came down here, we immediately endeared ourselves to the entire population and told them that we are going to break them out. Is it possible that the crowd is on our side, or an actor in this scenario?
Eric: Possibly. They could definitely possibly be engaged.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: Oh, I did— God, I have a spell for this.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: I know.
Julia: That's absolutely— it would— it would be insane to cast.
Amanda: Well, we didn't get here by being smart, Julia.
Brandon: I mean, you don't— we don't have the helmet, though, with us, so—
Julia: I— well, you could give me the helmet, bro.
Brandon: I don't— I don't know if we took it with us. I don't know—
Eric: Yeah, you have the helmet.
Eric: Yeah, of course, you have the helmet with you, yeah.
Brandon: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Julia: It just would have never occurred to me to leave it behind, Brandon.
Eric: The key items don't leave your inventory, Brandon. You have the helmet.
Amanda: Brandon, I have registered it to the select key so we can put it on whenever we want to.
Julia: Ah, sick.
Eric: Sick. Okay, yeah. Alright, let's roll initiative, folks.
Amanda: Okay. [dice roll]
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Oh, thank God. For the first time in my life, I've crit on initiative.
Eric: Goddamn.
Brandon: Oh, my God, amazing.
Julia: [dice roll] Oh, that's pretty good. I got a 19.
Brandon: Julia.
Julia: Twins?
Brandon: Twinsies.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Twins? Guys, we're— we're rolling so well.
Eric : Oh, my God, you rolled so well. I was gonna do an average of your initiative there, so I'm gonna do— so I'm gonna do fog group will have 19. Troy, you can't crit. What is it, 20 plus what, for—
Amanda: 22.
Eric: Okay. So now, we're in initiative. Troy, with a 22, you go first. All of the barnacle guards are coming towards you as you've engaged them in intimidation.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: What do you want to do?
Amanda: I'm gonna use a risk die to do dodge roll. I don't know if I've done this yet, one of my gunslinger moves. So I can expand a risk die as a bonus action to move up to 15 feet and reload any firearm I'm holding. It doesn't provoke opportunity attacks, ignores difficult terrain and lets me move through a hostile creature space as long as I don't end my movement there. So I would like to tumble again, ideally right through the guards, if not, around them. I want to shoot them from behind them.
Julia: Ooh.
Amanda: If they're close enough.
Brandon: Shoot them in the butt. Shoot them in the butt.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: So the— oh, react, because usually, you use risk die when you do an action, but this is just for movement?
Amanda: This is just for movement, yeah.
Eric: I love that. Yeah, you can definitely run through them. You dodge roll like in a— you dodge roll like you're playing Elden Ring. You dodge roll through them to get— and then get distance to fire on.
Julia: Troy is Kratos. I don't know what you're talking about.
Amanda: Exactly. So it's 15 feet is the amount I can dodge roll through, so I'm— I want to, like, charge at them, dodge roll under or around them, and then pop up on the other side, and hit them with two cross bow techs.
Eric: What's great about this is that this is such, like, video game logic—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —is that you still have your 30 speed.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: And then you can roll 15 more feet.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: That's cool.
Eric: Which is sick as hell.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: I love that— that you're— they're swarming you. You run at them, dodge, roll through them, and then run your remaining— and then you run your remaining distance, which is sick.
Amanda: Exactly.
Eric: I love that. Yeah.
Amanda: Cool. So I'm gonna roll my attack. So first, Eric, I roll a D20 to see if I overcome the disadvantage of the water.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Okay, so this is first one.
Eric: Higher than five.
Amanda: Okay. Well, that was unfortunately, my— my Nat20. Okay. So it's a 20, so I do overcome the disadvantage.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Now, I do a regular attack. Worse. Okay, so I roll the four on the first attack, that is not gonna hit, I'm assuming, but I can use my ricochet.
Eric: Yep.
Amanda: I think my arrow will ping off the— the gravity boot of the guard nearest me and then shoot up toward the butt.
Brandon: Yeah. Hell yeah.
Amanda: Okay, great. And then that is a 10 plus 4 for 14 to hit.
Eric: Yeah, that hits.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Nice, lovely.
Brandon: Nice.
Amanda: Get some deep piercing.
Eric: There— there's still goons. Then—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: They're AC bad.
Julia: Just goons, baby.
Amanda: Alright, Eric, that's 6 points of piercing damage to the butt.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: And then my second attack.
Julia: Specifically the butt.
Eric: Is that halved because it ricocheted?
Amanda: Oh, yes, thank you.
Eric: Okay. So that's 3 points.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: 3 points damage to the butt.
Amanda: 3 points damage to the butt. And then my second attack—
Julia: The butt.
Brandon: The worst place to get damage.
Amanda: Okay, that is an 11 to hit.
Eric: That does not hit.
Amanda: But let's try to ricochet again.
Eric: Another— another ricochet, bouncing to the butt.
Amanda: [dice roll] Okay, that's a 8 plus 4, 12, to hit.
Eric: It's not gonna hit.
Amanda: Alright.
Julia: 13.
Eric: Alright. So 3 points in the butt, though.
Amanda: But stylishly.
Eric: You're still pulling attention, for sure.
Amanda: Thank you. And my— my intent is to have them turn around, back toward the gate and away from where the rest of the crew were doing their thing.
Eric: Oh, sure, yeah. They're going after you.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. It's— with a 19, we have the fog group, so this is everyone in the fog together, because they have to kind of match Cammie's speed. So if you want to leave the fog, you will roll initiative of your own, whether that is Cammie and Umbi separating or the NPCs leaving. But for right now, it is Cammie and Umbi and Bramble. And do you want all the Cervantes siblings with you?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, and all—and all six Cervantes.
Julia: Now, I think I have something we can do.
Brandon: Oh, do you?
Julia: I would like to— now, Eric, you said in one turn, we can probably get past these people?
Eric: Yeah, you've already ran past them on that first turn that y'all had, you are now— you're now running over to a different part of a map, which is where the dragon is.
Julia: Okay. So the, like, prisoners and other guards are behind us right now, correct?
Eric: Yeah, because you were making— you were trying to make— get distance between them, yeah.
Julia: Excellent. Now, I believe my action economy will allow me to do these two moves, because it is a bonus action to basically cackle and continue the current hex that I have going.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Which is not casting an additional spell, it's just continuing the thing.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: But it's technically not concentration.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, yeah. Because it's not a spell.
Amanda: It's bonus.
Julia: I would like to cast the spell frenzy within the center of the prisoners.
Eric: You are too far away from that. If you want to go—
Julia: It's a 120 range.
Eric: A 120? Jesus Christ.
Julia: 120.
Brandon: Yeah, that's 40 yards, baby.
Amanda: That's far. That's farther than they could have moved.
Brandon: It's half a football field.
Amanda: Whoa.
Brandon: Ish.
Eric: Yeah, fuck. No, that's far, dude. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure. You're right. Yeah, you can do that. Let me know what happens.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Do you hear the people sing, singing the songs of angry men?
Julia: And the spell says, choose a point you can see within range. Each creature within 20 feet of that point must make a wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, a creature is frenzied for the duration. When a creature is frenzied, it draws a melee weapon if it has one. A frenzied creature must use its action at the beginning of its turn to attack a creature within its reach. It uses a melee weapon if it has one or an improvised weapon or unarmed strike if it doesn't.
Brandon: Banana.
Julia: If multiple targets are within the creature's reach, it chooses its target randomly. If there is no target within the creature's reach, it attacks itself against its own AC, dealing damage as normal on a hit.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: At the end of its turn, a frenzied creature can repeat its saving throws, ending its effect early on a success.
Brandon: Holy shit.
Eric: Okay. So what are you—
Julia: I'm starting a riot.
Amanda: Yay. Prison break, prison break. Nice.
Eric: Okay. So you go— you only get one person though, right?
Julia: It's each creature within 20 feet.
Eric: Oh, each creature within 20 feet, huh? Okay.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: So Cammie chooses the point within 120 feet.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I want to do right in the middle of all of the prisoners and maybe some of the guards.
[Eric sighs deeply]
Brandon: Can you hear the plants sing—
Julia: The people sing, singing the songs of angry men.
Brandon: —singing the song of angry plants.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: What is— what— okay. So you're singing, and then what happens? What physical change happens to the prisoners that gets them engaged?
Julia: So I think as we were running past some of the fog that I had spewed out of my mouth earlier.
Eric: Hell yeah, dude.
Julia: Slowly, like tendrils, creeps into the noses of those who failed the save and their eyes go foggy white.
Eric: Yeah. And that's when you see breaking from the crowd of prisoners is Strunge.
Brandon: Oh, no, Strunge.
Amanda: Strunge.
Julia: Strunge.
Eric (as Strunge): I am tired of eating scraps!
Eric: And picks up the big—
Amanda: Crate.
Eric: Thank you. Crate. I was like, "Cratch." That's not the word I'm looking for.
Julia: You were so in Strunge mode.
Amanda: Strunge!
Eric: Strunge!
Julia: Strunge!
Eric: Picks up the crate with the rest of the food, shakes it all out, and throws it at the group of guards.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: And that's when the other prisoners go—
Eric (as Prisoners): We're tired of eating scraps.
Eric: And they all lunge at the guards.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I'm gonna roll initiative for the cra— for the uprising.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Not something you thought you'd say in this episode, huh?
Eric: Julia, actually, I did.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: And now, I'm cheering for it.
Brandon: Would you call it a turnip rising, or is that just me?
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: Oh, shit.
Eric: You know, Brandon, I would call it a turnip rising.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: You see a group of turnips start throwing each other.
Eric: I'm even writing turnip rising.
Julia: It's the turnip sistas.
Amanda: Fuck yeah, dude.
Brandon: Where's my joken?
Eric: Alright. Lovely. Okay, 6,6,6,6. Okay, cool. So that clash is now continuing. Everyone else in the fog, what are you doing?
Brandon: I think we're still dashing.
Amanda: To make it to the collar?
Brandon: Yeah. I mean, like, I have to stay with Cammie, obviously, but like, I'm getting as close as I can to the collar without leaving the fog.
Eric: Hell yeah. Okay, I think that you can use another action to dash. And I'm gonna say that you are now back at the lock that you uncovered with Di.
Julia: Excellent.
Brandon: Sweet. So pretty close, then?
Eric: Yeah, you're— so you're— you're right up there now with two dashes. Do you want to, like, take a look at the lock? You're back at the lock. I'll give you the opportunity to do a check here, because you ran— you ran twice.
Brandon: I would like to investigate, to see, just like, what is probably the easiest thing to blow up. Would it be the chains? Would it be those nuts and bolts? Would it be, I don't know, something else I'm not seeing? But, yeah, that's what I want to see.
Eric: Yeah, sure. Why don't you make—why don't you make an Arcana check?
Brandon: I would love to do that, because I have a very large Arcana.
Eric: Big brain play, buddy.
Brandon: Eric, how do you feel about a 25?
Eric: I do have a feeling about a 25.
Julia: Hmm. interesting.
Brandon: What do you feel about it?
Eric: Brandon, what does this lock say?
Brandon: The lock says, "The water will slow to fall— [mumbles] you know the— you know the— the bit that you said in the intro earlier, Eric? It's that.
Eric: Oh, the one from the intro?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Oh. Oh, my God. So what if— hey, if there's some chains holding this thing down—
Brandon: Is this the entrance to the fucking salmon thing?
Eric: Maybe there's some other locks in there that say other things on those locks that are the rest of the lines of the thing.
Julia (as Cammie): I figured out what my tea leaves meant this morning.
Eric: And maybe you can't blow this thing up with bombs, my man. You need something else to open this up.
Amanda: The keys.
Julia: The keys.
Brandon: Keys. Shit.
Julia (as Cammie): Keys. Kidd, Kidd, unlock one of these.
Brandon: Is the dragon attached to the keys, like to these locks?
Julia: Is the collar attached to the— the chain and the locks that we're seeing, or is the collar a separate entity?
Eric: Alright. Well, actually, this is a good—this is good because you're looking at this without the dragon there.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: There is a lot of stuff when you— as you're following the chains going in every direction, right? It is unclear what the locks are attached to. There's chains and metal, and this collar, and the porthole, and all of this stuff were kind of all shoved into each other. It is a— a rat's nest of metal here.
Brandon: Hmm. Okay.
Eric: So it is unclear wha— as I said before, you thought it was because you couldn't see it, because it was buried, but maybe it's a little more complicated than that. It is unclear what the locks are attached to. They're just attached to some chain. But this lock and the stuff of this chain, this lock is on, you can't blow that stuff up, my man.
Brandon (as Umbi): Shit. All our keys are in different areas of the— the fucking thing right now. There's one on the boat— there's 3— 3 on the boat. This one behind us with— with fucking cactus man.
Eric: Well, there's two on the boat.
Julia (as Cammie): Two on the boat.
Eric: And there's one with you, and there's one—
Julia (as Cammie): One's a guy.
Eric: —some— there's— and one's a guy.
Brandon: Someone else!
Julia (as Cammie): One's a dude.
Eric: One's a dude, one's ha— one's fine having— having a buddy comedy right now.
Julia: Can we cut over to that real quick?
Eric: There's a nondescript tavern somewhere—
Julia: That's what I was hoping for.
Eric: —where Archimedes Sevens is having two separate mugs of ale poured into his mouth by the key with a gaze standing on a very tall bar stool.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: Be like—
Eric (as Key with a Gaze): Yar. I'm gonna make a pirate of you yet, me boy.
Amanda: I wanna hang out with them.
Brandon: That's pretty good.
Julia: Eric, thanks.
Eric: No problem.
Eric (as Key with a Gaze): Good. I've been sitting on this for a long time.
Brandon: So I just want for the audience to picture, Cammie is just seeing Umbi sort of like have a panic, where he's just yelling things like—
Brandon (as Umbi): The boat, the— the— the guy's a dude, Archimedes.
Julia (as Cammie): What guy is a dude?
Eric: I love that Cammie is, like, infecting the minds of a group of people, and Umbi's like, "The guy."
Julia: Cammie's eyes have fully rolled back into their head and they're like—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): What's happening?
Eric: The key is a dude.
Brandon: Exactly, yeah.
Eric: Incredible. Okay.
Julia: Funny.
Eric: It is now that some of the barnacle guard's turn, and I think some of them are retreating into the door, being like—
Eric (as Barnacle Guard): Back up, back up, back up! We need backup!
Eric: Running back towards the door. It is another turnip rising's turn. The turnip rising continues—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —to go. And now, it's the barnacles who are trying to grab Troy, are going to try to lash you up.
Brandon: When they write about this in the history books, they'll call it the Turnip Rising of the Underwater Prison.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah. Of South Kompos.
Brandon: Of South Kompos.
Eric (as Turnips): We will not be mulched. We will not be mulched. We will not be mulched. Clang, clang. Oh, oh, oh. [fighting noises] We will not be mulched. We will not be mulched. Brandon: Strunge!
Julia (as Cammie): Go, my brothers.
Amanda: I love you, Strunge.
Julia (as Cammie): Fight for freedom.
Eric: Alright, it is an 11 hit.
Amanda: Well, I'm going to use a risk dice skin in my teeth so I can roll out of harm's way at the last second, adding the risk die to my AC against the attack.
Brandon: Oh, hell yeah.
Eric: Alright.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Let's do it.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: It's like the non-magical version of the shield spell. I love it.
Amanda: Yeah. So it's a 13 plus 3, 16.
Eric: 16. Okay.
Brandon: 16, it's pretty good.
Eric: Alright, so I'll do this again. [dice roll] That's an 11, won't hit. [dice roll] And I rolled a 4, and won't hit. [dice roll] That's a 17, that will hit. [dice roll] And that's a 13. Alright, only one.
Brandon: Nice.
Amanda: I'll take 1 out of 4.
Julia: Pretty good, pretty good. And Troy's a chunky boy, so he should be okay.
Brandon: Julia, do you think Nonny is, like, looking up at these guards with their giant whips like— with, like, watery anime eyes, like—
Julia: Like sparkling eyes, being like—
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia (as Nonny): You're my heroes.
Brandon: My heroes.
Julia: No, I don't think so.
Eric: Nonny is like the little boy in Les Mis, but instead of dying in the French Revolution, she's an octopus.
Julia: I'm trying to— trying figure out what Gavroche and Nonny together would sound like, and I don't want to.
Brandon: I can't wait for Cammie to have to sing empty chairs and empty tables after all these prisoners die.
Eric: I'm trying to imagine Nonny as an 11-year-old boy trying to do a Cockney accent, because it's the closest he can get you to— to this.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): There is a castle on a cloud.
Eric: Okay, that is going to be six points of damage to Troy, and I need you to do a constitution saving throw.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: —because you— you— you're done get electrocuted.
Amanda: Alright.
Julia: You're beefy, Troy. You're a beefy boy.
Amanda: Dirty 20.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: Hell, yeah, Alright. Yeah. What— what does skin on my teeth look like?
Amanda: I roll again. So I think— I see, like, four electric whips coming at me, like AT&T commercials, and so I, like, scooch under, you know, Julia, like a— like, a graduated, you know, thing.
Eric: Oh, like the AT&— like the AT&T logo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Like the— come on, come on, some on. Stay with me.
Julia: Oh. Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
Amanda: And— and I— and I get clipped only by the last one that, like, hits my— my, you know, foot on my way over—
Eric: Yeah. They're trying to wrap you up.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, one of the— the whips are trying to wrap you up on each of your limbs, but—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —you get clipped by and that's why you take a damage. Hell yeah, dude. Alright, we're coming back around. It is now Troy Riptide's turn.
Julia: Troy Riptide.
Eric: Troy.
Amanda: Troy.
Julia: Troy.
Eric: Give me one second. I gotta roll something. Okay, go ahead.
Julia: Yeah. Top of the order.
Eric: Alright, Troy, so here's—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —what's happening. You are surrounded by a up— the turnip rising is surging. The regular guards who are protecting the food are enga— are being smacked down by the prisoners. Some of the barnacle guards are asking for reinforcements. Four of the barnacle guards are coming towards you, and four the barnacle guards are being whipped up in the turnip uprising.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: The doors, however, are open.
Amanda: I think Troy is going to take a moment to try to rally the troops, and having just dodged out of the way of three— of the four attacks—
Eric: With your wings out.
Amanda: Yeah. Yell to them—
Amanda (as Troy): We're our own jailers, bruvs. You can get out of here. Let's storm the cape.
Amanda: And Troy's gonna turn and run into the doors as fast as he can get. He's gonna dash.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Julia: Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. Yeah dude.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Yeah, dude. You're fucking right, dude.
Brandon: Yeah, dude.
Eric: Alright. You can— so if you're gonna try to run— run in there, you're gonna take opportunity attacks from the two guards who you're kind of running past, but you can do that anyway.
Amanda: Not if I use a final risk die to once more dodge roll.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: So I would love to roll past the guards that are either between me and the door or around me as far as 15 feet will get me and then dash into the opening.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Just Elden Ring dodging past everybody.
Amanda: It's my last risk die—
Julia (as Cammie): Get' em.
Amanda: — so let's hope it works.
Brandon: Roll, Riptide, baby.
Julia: Roll, Riptide.
Amanda: Hey.
Eric: So you run through the big doors. Inside, it is— you're like running into a dark room.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: It is like— it is immediately dank in here, the liquid is still here, but you can look around, and there's a big button on the wall.
Amanda: Troy looks over his left shoulder, looks over his right shoulder, and presses the button.
Eric: [PA System] Emergency closing sequence.
Eric (as Barnacle Guards): No, no, no.
Eric: As the barnacle guards are trying to run past you and the doors closed.
Brandon: Oh, no, just one of them get— get caught in the door and chopped in half there.
Julia: Indiana Jones style.
Eric: And the liquid surrounding you drains into the floor.
Julia: Damn, dude.
Eric: And now, you're just in a dank—
Julia: It's dank in there?
Eric: Of course, it's dank in there. There's weird pickling liquid everywhere, Julia.
Julia: Fair, fair.
Eric: You are in this dank, dark air lock with only the light of an alarm flashing yellow every second, kind of like catching your face and disappearing, and catching your face and disappearing. You can't hear anything outside. You're listening for the rumble of an uprising, Umbi's old man shouting, the roar of the sucking dragon. You hear nothing, it is quiet. Until, of course, over the loudspeaker—
Brandon: I knew it was gonna happen.
Eric: Just a slow clap, deeply agonizingly pretentious.
Julia: Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Eric: It's now the fog group's turn.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: Cammie, Umbi, and the Cervanteses and of course, Bramble— wait, Bramble's with you. Wait, wait, Bramble's stuck on you.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, Bram—
Eric (as Bramble): Hey, hey, next time, can you let me know when you're gonna tumble, tumble, and roll?
Amanda (as Troy): To be fair, I did not shoot you into danger. You came with me into danger, and danger, you better look out.
Julia: Bramble could have absorbed that eight damage that Troy took before, he should be grateful.
Brandon: Troy learned all of his rolling from Bramble, so— you know?
Eric: That's true, that's true. And Havana Tropicana is with the fog group.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So, fog group, what do y'all want to do?
Julia: Brandon, I think we should hand out a bomb to each person so that they can— we can—
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: —get all the work done.
Amanda: It's a daisy Chain.
Julia: Quick.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: And then bounce.
Brandon: Yeah. I'm gonna hand one to each of the Cervantes. I'm gonna place one, Cammie's gonna place one. I'm gonna tell Havana to get a head start, because he's the slowest.
Julia: Yes. That's fair.
Amanda: Smart.
Brandon: We're all going to place them and then give each other a knowing nod and run.
Eric: Okay. Cammie, do you have concentration on frenzy?
Julia: Yes, I'm holding concentration on frenzy.
Eric: Okay. Do you have to roll, or you just like— that's just what you do?
Julia: I only have to roll if I take damage, and I haven't taken damage.
Eric: Oh, that's right, that's right, that's right. That's a good point. No, I just forget— I just forget how concentration works.
Julia: You can improve— that's okay.
Brandon: Yeah. Don't we all?
Eric: Yeah. Don't— yeah. Don't we all? Alright, yeah. So, yeah, Umbi, you can distribute the bombs in their little— in their little terracotta pots.
Julia: I also like to think that a lot of the prisoners, even if they didn't get hit by the spell. are getting really into it.
Eric: Oh yeah, no. Ful- on— full— every single prisoner who's here is engaging all of the guards, 100%.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Alright, yeah. You distribute and place the bombs?
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. And I think we all run back and regroup.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Is the fog still up?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Okay, cool. Assuming the fog is centered on Cammie, I think some people are gonna have to leave the fog.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Brandon, give me 1D4.
Brandon: It's the hardest one to get out of my tray. Eric.
Eric: Sorry— oh, I'm— ooh, I'm so sorry.
Julia: Oh, buddy.
Eric: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Brandon: 4.
Eric: 4. Alright, I need four people of the fog group to leave the fog.
Brandon: Me.
Eric: Umbi.
Julia: I think it should be some Cervantes siblings as well. You know what? I— I've got— well, I literally can't leave the fog, so never mind.
Brandon: Oh, that's fair.
Eric: It can't be— yes, it can't be Cammie.
Julia: I'll keep Havana with me.
Brandon: So me, Kidd, and then two of his siblings.
Eric: And two of his siblings. Alright. So, yeah, y'all break out of the fog. You place the time bombs where they have to and you start to move away. I think that's enough. If you want to set them off, you're gonna have to do it next turn.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Eric: Take some time to get out of the blast radius. Not everyone's as fearless as— as Umbus.
Brandon: Yeah. Not everyone can evade, you know?
Eric: The Umb— the Umbis. Alright, it is now the barnacle— it is now— so a few of— two— actually, I should probably roll. [dice roll] No. [dice roll] Alright, this group would have been the barnacles chasing the fob group, but none of them escape the turnip uprising.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: They are all stuck of battling prisoners jumping on top of them, reclaiming their freedom from a shadowy World Government that probably threw them in here for no reason. Even Captain Graft moves—
Brandon: Known cheater.
Eric: —teleports five feet—
Julia: Oh, that's how he was doing it.
Eric: Teleports five feet at a time, goes—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Argh. I'm gonna get you.
Eric: And then go— turns around and you see the ring on his finger, glow bright, creating a little pocket of air around his ring, and teleporting five feet away.
Brandon: What a little piece of shit.
Julia: I— I am gonna get that ring off that man.
Brandon: I'm gonna kill that man and take his— chop his finger off and take the ring.
Julia: I want that item.
Eric (as Edie): See, there are various ways to figure out that you needed to do magic with the liquid or a way. There are various ways to do it.
Julia: It's almost like a good DM planned this whole arc.
Eric (as Edie): Just like in Putt-Putt Goes to the Zoo.
Julia: You could buy the balloon or the zoo pass. I don't remember the pun.
Eric: Yeah. No, no, no, that's fair. Alright, the turnup rising is going, still engaging the guards as much as possible. Also now, the backup, it is now the backup's turn, but Troy has shut the doors, so no backup. It's only the regular group of guards, plus the 10 barnacle guards that all seem to be engaged. Once the doors are shut, the backup are banging on the doors, trying to radio for help. Anyway, while the rest of the barnacle guards who are chasing Troy Riptide are trying to engage the uprising, their electrified whips out stalking menacingly towards the group.
Brandon: Nice pun.
Eric: Thanks. So over the loudspeaker, the yellow light crossing against Troy and Bramble's face as you hear a slow clap over the loudspeaker in the air lock.
Eric (as Edie): [PA System] I didn't think you would do it, Troy. I'm surprised. I knew you were smart, funny, hot, kind, thoughtful, charismatic, energetic, and all other things, but I didn't think you had this in you. I thought through— I thought once we tricked you to fall into the Kompos Facility, it would be all over, but I guess I underestimated you.
Amanda (as Troy): Well, Edie, that's because I'm— I'm more than a body. I also got a brain.
Eric: On the other side of the room, the doors open, and a figure is backlit, and you see one knife hanging from a stalk, and then you see another. And Edie takes a step forward, and you hear metal on metal, and as the yellow light of the alarm cuts through, Edie looks different than you last saw her.
Amanda (as Troy): Is she dead?
Eric: She has knives on both hands. Both of her feet are knives, and one side of her body is offset. It is slouching.
Eric (as Edie): Well, I didn't think you and your crew would step to something so low as to poison me, without me knowing.
Brandon: Whoopsie.
Julia: Oh, Brandon. Oh, Umbi.
Brandon: I forgot I did that.
Julia: Oh, my God.
Eric (as Edie): But luckily, the— luckily, the diamond Knot can put—put me back together, and I'm finally gonna give you and your crew what they deserve.
Eric: And she whips out her right hand, now, also a kni— on an— also on a knife vine, which hits a button. And inside the Kompos Facility, you hear—
Eric: [PA System] Emergency override. Engaged.
Eric: And all of you, in the fog group, all of you around the porthole hear a la— a very large latch disengage.
Julia: Oh, damn it.
Eric: As the blackberry dragon pushes its head once again through the hole. [roars]
Eric (as Edie): That'll show you and your crew, Troy Riptide, and this is the last time you show me up in front of other people.
[theme]