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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
[theme]
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. "The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire." This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on, Join the Party.
Eric: Okay, here's the plan. Now that Umbi brain blasted, learning that spells and bombs can work if you have an air pocket, he made a terracotta helmet for Cammie and some little pots for his little bomb guys. With the arcane arts back on the side of the crew, they should sneak by the guards and blow up the collar holding the blackberry dragon, creating a lot of chaos and getting out, right? It's a great plan, but the fog that Cammie made to protect everyone sure did look kind of suspicious in a prison of anti-magic brine. Luckily, we have two very distracting things. Troy steps out of the fog, drawing attention to himself, reminding everyone he's Prince Troy Riptide, and Cammie starts a turnip rising of the prisoners keeping everyone extremely occupied, except you're always on your grind when you're fueled by hate and bickering. Troy, with Bramble stuck to him, rolls into the facility's airlock and is confronted by Lucky Edie, sharp mode. As all of her hands and feet are replaced by knives to save her after Umbi poisoned her, LOL. And she slams a big button and release the blackberry dragon early. Please insert the Godzilla roar that I remember from the Godzilla pinball machine my dad brought home Han— Hanukkah 1997. Needs to be all crunchy. [Godzilla roars] Let's get the party started.
Eric: When you're looking at a blueprint of the Hot House is terrible and awesome in the traditional biblical senses of the word. Blueprints of the surveillical, the barnacles that are placed all over—
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: —and they're placed all over the facility and underwater prison. You don't really understand how it fits together. It's mostly eye and, like, shell, and there's some mechanic shoved in there, but it doesn't really show how sound moves, right? There's a microphone shoved in there, and maybe you could envision like dropping a rock into a pool. The sound waves of a conversation, kind of like vibrating through this big, squishy eye, and then reaching the microphone, received and brought into a computer somewhere.
Brandon: Hmm. Like the inner ear.
Eric: Did— well— exact— Brandon, it's exactly like the inner ear. But imagine inside of your ear, there was a klaxon alarm, and when the alarm goes [alarm sounds] and vibrates out. It's like the boulder is coming out of the pond you dropped it in.
Brandon: Can we just take a second and say, "Holy shit, that was a perfect klaxon?"
Amanda: That was so good.
Julia: That was really good.
Amanda: That was symmetrical. That was like— the tonal. I loved that.
Eric: See, and if you asked me to do it again, I couldn't.
Julia: Yeah. Don't try. Nailed it in one.
Eric: I'm not going to, I'm not going to. So imagine, stationed in strategic places throughout this entire destroyed town turned into the submerged underwater prison where the barnacles are affixed. The surveillicals are affixed to spy on everyone. Bursting forth from the deep of these giant eyes is an alarm and then a mechanical voice declaring—
Eric (as Mechanical Voice): Override initiated.
Eric: And that's when you hear [explosions] [roars] as the pressurized latch of the porthole releases and the blackberry dragon pushes itself into the hole.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, shit.
Julia (as Cammie): They just let it out. We were gonna let it out. What the fuck?
Eric (as Edie): Of course, I'm gonna let it out. Cling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling.
Julia: Hard cut to Edie.
Eric: Yeah. There's just— it's— there's, like, so many vertical slices on screen of each of your faces.
Brandon: I love it.
Eric: It's like Umbi, Cammie, all of the Cervantes siblings.
Amanda: In a row, in a trench coat.
Eric: Yeah. Troy, Bramble, and then Lucky Edie, clang, clang, clang, and then slicing through all of the vertical slices to then bring us back to the— like she's using one of her knife hands and it's cutting through the fourth wall to slice the screens aside.
Brandon: Hey, Eric, that's tight.
Amanda: Hey.
Eric: I think that would be cool. Hey, comics, it's that.
Amanda: It's really good.
Eric: It's whatever they're doing in—
Julia: Hey, animators.
Eric: Yeah, it's whatever they're doing in comics right now, it's that. Okay. Hey, folks, things are a little bit different. I think we should roll initiative again.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Alrighty.
Brandon: That's fair.
Eric: So Troy, you're gonna roll for you and Bramble together. Bramble's gonna see his ini—
Julia: I like how Bramble's with you.
Eric: Bramble's gonna see an initiative to you. Cammie and Umbi, we're gonna average y'all together with a bunch of other people, and then I gotta make a new list of all the stuff happening.
Brandon: I don't know why you gotta punish Julia like that, but here we go.
Julia: I didn't roll great, and my dexterity is not very good.
Amanda: Once again, I got a 22.
Eric: Whoa.
Julia: You go, girl.
Eric: Let's go.
Brandon: Let's go, girls.
Julia: Let's go, Troy.
Eric: Good job, Troy.
Julia: What'd you roll, Brandon?
Brandon: I got 11.
Julia: Oh, I got a 13, so a 12.
Brandon: Hey, 12.
Julia: 12 for us.
Brandon: Good, easy math.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: Okay, 13 and 11.
Brandon: I love when I don't have to find the area under the curve of the dice roll.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yesterday, I was trying to calculate how high the ceilings would have to be to lean our 12-foot long table against it, and I said, "What's the Pythagorean theorem?" And then Eric said, "Abandon ship. No, we're not doing this."
Julia: They're always like, "Oh, you'll use math in real life." And then you try to use math in real life and you say, "No."
Eric: I'm like, "Just measure it. Let's just measure it."
Amanda: I was like, "Baby, you're right, you're right."
Eric: Okay. The first in the initiative is Lucky Edie with a 23.
Brandon: Holy shit.
Julia: Boo.
Amanda: Absolute bitch.
Brandon: Really is lucky, huh?
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, I look best in close-up, put it back.
Julia: Breaking into the fourth wall. We love that for Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Put it back.
Eric: We're cutting to our real hero. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. Pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: Lucky Edie takes a step towards Troy.
Eric (as Edie): You're not going to embarrass me again. Troy Riptide. I don't care who you are. I don't care where you came from. I don't care where your friends are. This ends now.
Amanda (as Troy): That's so convenient, because normally I only kill people by accident, but today, I think will be my first on purpose.
Eric: Troy versus Lucky Edie. It's actually kind of serendipitous that Lucky Edie and Troy are next to each other in initiative, because this sure does feel like a duel, doesn't it?
Julia: Du-du-du-duel.
Eric: Du-du-du-du-du-du-duel. And I have some game mechanics here that I'd love to play out with you, Amanda.
Amanda: Let's do it.
Eric: Wonderful. I've been sitting on this for a very long time. This game is called Swords as Subtext. It was written and designed by Colin Cummings, who you might know as the— the guy who does all of the Carly Rae Jepsen tabletop RPGs.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yes. Shout out Colin.
Eric: We're using it because I think there's a lot more that goes on in a duel than just us firing back and forth. Like, this isn't the kind of formal duel like Troy had with Kidd Cervantes on top of a crumbling stadium. This is a little bit more emotional. There's a lot more stuff going on here. So the way that this is gonna work is we're— Amanda and I are gonna go back and forth flipping a coin, and we're gonna use a joken for this.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: Wow. I can't believe you would call Troy a joke like that too, right in his face.
Julia: Wow. That's how what Lucky Edie feels.
Amanda: Sometimes jokes can kill you.
Julia: Have you considered, sometimes jokes kill?
Amanda: Well, my uncle's last two already died, right at— right at dinner. Right at dinner.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: It was called the Red Supper. It was crazy, because that was the color of his face when he died.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Eric: So the ru— here are the rules, we're gonna have five rounds with three coin flips per round. The caller is going to be on offense and the flipper is going to be on defense. So we're in— we're going to switch off every other round.
Amanda: Does Edie call first because she's first on initiative?
Eric: Edie is going to call first because she's first on initiative, correct. If the caller gets a correct call, it's a lunge. That's going to allow the caller to describe a beat of combat and communicate a thought or statement. But if I lo— if I miss the call, it's a stumble, and the opponent gets to parry, where you get to describe a beat of combat and communicate a thought or statement. If you get a few calls in a row, there's some stuff that happens there. We're gonna do five rounds. Best of three of those is then going to have a final flourishing round, and we're gonna see how that shakes out.
Brandon: That sounds fun.
Julia: And who—
Amanda: Amped.
Eric: Lucky Edie's coming in here with her bio-hacked knives that are attached to her body for terrible reasons. Troy, what is your weapon of choice?
Amanda: It's gotta be the crossbow. I'm not gonna bring a dagger to a dagger fight.
Julia: Why would you?
Eric: That's awesome. I love this. That is gonna be— Lucky Edie trying to close the gap and Troy just bouncing arrows off of this airlock.
Brandon: Hell yeah. I love that.
Eric: Incredible. Okay. So Lucky Edie is going to go first. We're gonna do three coin flips.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Lucky Edie takes a step towards you, both hands as knives swinging ready at her side. Let's do it. Heads.
Amanda: That's a tails.
Eric: Alright, that is a parry. Amanda, describe what the first beat of combat looks like and communicate a thought or statement.
Amanda: Okay, great. I love thoughts and statements. As Edie, I think does just like a quick sort of slash toward Troy. He is just going to parry it with, like, his leather wrist guard, like the wrist guard that he braces against while shooting his crossbow. They're in such close quarters that he just, like knocks her dagger aside.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Amanda: And says—
Amanda (as Troy): I understand it's all pirates for themselves, but you can— you can choose our side now. You can choose the side that's right. You can choose the side for pirates, for the sea, for the Cascade, for Verda Stello now. It's not too late.
Eric (as Edie): If you thought pirates had a side, you're dumber than you look, and you look extremely dumb to start with.
Brandon: Rude.
Amanda: Cute.
Julia: Fair.
Eric: Alright. Second one, I'm gonna go with tails this time.
Amanda: Heads.
Eric: I lost again? Goddammit.
Julia: Another loss for Edie.
Eric: Alright, you get another one.
Brandon: Oh, poor Edie.
Amanda: I think she learns from the first attack, which was very direct, and tries to come from one of the, like, the tendrils of her ponytail holding a knife, tries to, like, get at Troy from sort of the side.
Eric: I love that. Like, Lucky Edie is closing the gap by slashing with both hands.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And she's like, "Oh, well, what if I did a hair whip and got you?"
Amanda: Yeah. And I think Troy's gonna parry with just a roundhouse kick. Again, pretty— pretty close quarters, but the boot this time is gonna knock the knife out of the way.
Brandon: Fuck yeah. Love it.
Julia: Cool as fuck.
Amanda (as Troy): It's not that the pirates are united, it's that the diamond knot is bad for us. It's bad for the world. It's for their— their government's gain and not for what people actually need, which is good, clean water and freedom to do what they want.
Eric (as Edie): You don't have to lie, Troy. No one's watching in here. I know that sounds like a lie, I would say, that there's no cameras in here, but there are no cameras. It's an airlock.
Julia: There's definitely cameras.
Eric (as Edie): You really believe this, Troy? You really want to bring— you want to find the salmon and bring good, clean water to the world?
Amanda (as Troy): Yes.
Eric: Alright, one last flip.
Amanda: One last call.
Eric: Heads.
Amanda: Heads.
Eric: Lucky Edie finally gets around you, just by running around you enough, doing a full circle around you, pushing off of the sides of the airlock, slashing you on the back, right below where Bramble's shoved into your backpack.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh. If I had the key with— that still hurts, it would hurt her back.
Eric (as Edie): This is the arc of history, Troy Riptide. It's not about plucky people doing what they think it's right. It's about executing a plan no matter what gets in your way. And I'm going to show you that if it's the last thing I do.
Eric: That is one round for Troy Riptide. We're gonna come back around to that.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Julia: Go, Troy, go. Go, Troy, go.
Eric: Okay. That was Lucky Edie, that was Troy. Bramble says—
Eric (as Bramble): I hate this.
Eric: Alright, It is Di's turn, who is watching Troy— who's watching this duel from— from a big, comfy chair somewhere.
Brandon: Of course, she is.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Like a ceramic mug of coffee. Yeah.
Brandon: Her feet up on the desk.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Alright, I'm gonna roll to see if she comes help Troy. [dice roll]
Julia: Just so we know, Eric, what does she have to hit to be convinced to come save her brother? I just want to know.
Eric: Well, it was a 20 to start with, and I did just roll a two, so we'll see how it goes.
Julia: Okay. Alright. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Eric: We'll see how it goes. Alright. Is the fog group—the fog group is moving before the dragon. Incredible. So I think all of you, Umbi, Cammie, Kidd Cervantes and siblings, and Havana Tropicana are around the dragon. Kind of you just put your pottery bombs down, and the dragon has pushed its way out. The dragon is rearing up, opening its terrible circular, multiple rows of teeth, conical blades of doom open to suck you all in. You have a moment to do something, what do you do?
Julia (as Cammie): Do we run? Do we blow it up? What do we do?
Brandon (as Umbi): We can't stop it. There's not a timer. We gotta run.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, no. Fuck. Alright.
Brandon: Yes, I think we're gonna dash.
Eric: Yeah, you can definitely get out of the blast radius if you run. 100 %.
Julia: Well, I think we're gonna do that.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Brandon, can you remind me, when did the bombs go off?
Brandon: Well, it says that it blows up at the end of my turn.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Well, see, that's why I wanted to roll initiative again. I wanted to see if the dragon would move before you guys did.
Julia: Perfect. We all dash.
Eric: Cool. Yeah, y'all just want to get out there and blow it up?
Julia: Everyone's dashing. Everyone's dashing.
Brandon: Yup.
Eric: Alright. Brandon James Grugle—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —why don't you roll damage for your bombs?
Brandon: Okay. So that is a 2 D10 when they're primed.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Am I level 11 now?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Oh, great. So that's actually 3 D10. Okay. So that's 3 D10, when they're primed, so that would be 24 D10.
Julia: 24 D10.
Brandon: Okay. Let me just do this on Google— on the good, old computer. Okay, plus my intelligence mod, which is 4.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: So is this hitting the collar or the dragon?
Eric: Both.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: I have some stuff I'm gonna calculate, but let's assume—
Brandon: Right.
Eric: —it's gonna be a big, old explosion.
Brandon: Okay. Well, that's 123 plus 4 is 127 and it's doubled on the collar, so—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
Amanda: Good job, bud.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Brandon, power move.
Amanda: Proud of you. Proud of you.
Brandon: Umbi hears the like— in, like, bullet time, he hears the hiss of the fuse— sort of hit the bottom of the fuse and the top of the bomb and go, "Tss." And then he turns around to look, and with tears in his eyes, he sees the most beautiful explosion as classical music plays in the background of his brain, and sees the mushroom cloud form over the face of the blackberry dragon.
Julia: And then in real life, you hear Cammie go—
Julia (as Cammie): [shrieks]
Eric: I have two thoughts about this. The first is— there's a whole thing in the Olympics how the Olympians spend so much time with their coaches, they can, like, hear their coach's voices just calling out things to them in the middle of the roar of this massive stadium.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And I think that that's the klaxon, the dragon pushing out the— the turnip uprising happening around, Umbi can hear the sound of the fuse burning down.
Amanda: You know your own child's cry, Eric.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Like from— you can walk into the nursery and you know your kid's crying.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I love Umbi turning around, the explosion happens. And because of the vinegar and extra oxygen that's in the liquid here.
Brandon: Oh, it's even bigger.
Eric: It's even bigger. But in my head, it's like— you know when you learn about how fireworks work and how they put different colors into it, I'm like, "This explosion is green, right? Like, in my head, this explosion is green." Like, I don't— don't tell me what the act— I know chemists and— and you're like, "That's not what's green." In my head, there's Magnesium in there too, and that's why it's green.
Brandon: What if they're, like, slightly off on the timing as well, so it's like fireworks as— as everyone is sort of just, like, slow motion jogging away and there's—
Eric: Oh, yeah, because different people did it, so the bombs are going off at slightly different moments, for sure.
Brandon: It's beautiful.
Amanda: It's like Fantasia.
Eric: Also, as Umbi and Cammie turn around, you see Havana running as fa— falling and crawl— and, like, scrabbling to get to his feet. But you also see Kidd Cervantes and his siblings all standing there with their pins ready in position. Kidd Cervantes holding the line with pin cushion out, ready to protect all of you.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Julia: I love them.
Amanda: Me, too.
Brandon: And then when you get the camera at the right angle, it looks like they're a badass sextuplet with just explosions behind them as their ponchos flow in the— in the liquid.
Eric: Yeah, all of them have ponchos flowing in the breeze. They're firing into the—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: They're firing pins into the explosion. Absolutely. How far away did you guys run? Wha— what's your speed?
Julia: 60 feet.
Eric: 60 feet. Okay, great. So in the explosion, you hear the large clang of a lot of metal hitting the ground.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And then now, it is the dragon's turn, and you hear [dragon roars] as the explosion— the clouds of explosion, the green clouds of explosion getting sucked into the dragon's mouth. And all of you are getting pulled in. I need strength checks. I'm looking for 20 from all of you.
Julia: It's just impossible. [dice roll] Oh, I rolled a Nat 20, though.
Amanda: Hey.
Julia: Which is still— unless you want to honor the Nat 20.
Eric: No, that— no, a Nat 20 is a— is a success. That's a success.
Julia: Okay. Okay. I was like, "Are you gonna be mean and make me subtract my negative one strength?"
Eric: No— no.
Brandon: I got a 15.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And I don't think my evasion counts, because it's not a deck saving throw, so that's a bummer.
Julia: Eric, on a Nat 20, can I take a free action?
Eric: Sure, Julia, what would you like to do?
Julia: Can I yell at the dragon—
Julia (as Cammie): Be free. We have freed you. Attack your oppressors.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. For sure, for sure. So here's the interesting thing that I've been using is that when you get sucked in, you're getting sucked 50 feet.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: I want to give a special shout out to whoever made a Charybdis monster stat block to all the Greek nerds out there that I've been using here.
Brandon: What the fuck is a Charybdis?
Eric: Like, as in Scylla and Charybdis?
Julia: Yes. It's the, like, sentient whirlpool from the Odyssey.
Brandon: Oh, cool.
Eric: Yeah. You either have to fight like a deranged Hydra, or you get a lit— or you have to sail by a living whirlpool.
Brandon: That's cool as fuck.
Eric: So you get pulled in 50 feet, so Cammie, you— you and Nonny hold yourself by your fi— your little fingertips and suction cups into the ground. And Umbi, you go flying backwards, but you land 10 feet away from the maw of the blackberry dragon. Some other folks aren't so lucky. Havana Tropicana lands right next to Umbi and three of the Cervantes siblings go, "Hoof, hoof, hoof," into the gullet of the blackberry dragon.
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Julia: What?
Amanda: No.
Brandon (as Umbi): Havana, take my hand.
Eric (as Havana): Yes, I will.
Julia: Has the blackberry dragon, like, moved now, or has it kind of, like, situated itself, much like it usually does and started sucking?
Eric: That's a good question— that's a good question. Let's— let's get perception checks from both of y'all to see if you can see this.
Julia: Okay. [dice roll]
Brandon: I just remembered that Bartlett's back— back on the boat. So there's this chaos happening and then we cut quickly back to Bartlett and he's just going [squawks]
Amanda: As the Pumpy, like, lays on his back, playing with, like, a dust mite.
Julia: I rolled a 6.
Eric: 6.
Brandon: Oh, great. I rolled a 9.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Great job, guys.
Brandon: Nice. Nice.
Julia: Perceived.
Eric: There's too much chaos going on. Cammie, you can't see through the remaining— the remaining explosion clouds. And Umbi, there's just— there's chaos going on around you.
Brandon: Eric, I'm so sorry. I forgot that I get to add plus one damage to everything, so it's 128.
Eric: Oh, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate— I appreciate that. Wonderful. Okay. The dragon's turn is over. We'll come back to that. And then something else is happening.
Julia: Eric, do you want to name the three Cervantes siblings that you've murdered?
Eric: Oh, yeah. I'll tell you the ones— that was— I think it's Forrest, Eddie, and Atticus.
Julia: Aw. RIP.
Eric: Sorry. Sorry to— to those dudes.
Julia: RIP to the real ones.
Eric: Sorry to those dudes. Okay, I'm rolling for something else. Okay, that's fine. And now, we're back to Lucky Edie and Troy. It is now Amanda's turn to call. Troy is up one round zero. Call it in the air, Amanda.
Amanda: Yep.
Julia: You got this, Amanda.
Amanda: Heads.
Eric: Heads.
Brandon: Nice.
Amanda: Wonderful.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Now, Troy's on the attack.
Julia: Lunge.
Amanda: Yeah. I think Troy's gonna take a couple steps back, try to get a wall to his back, because range is in his favor in this fight.
Eric (as Bramble): Hey, oh, hey, remember, hey, I'm back here. I'm back here.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, I know, bud, you're coming up next.
Amanda: And Troy is going to fire an arrow into Lucky Edie's ponytail holder, attempting to pin her and her knife hair against the wall.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: I like that you immediately assumed that she had a ponytail holder.
Amanda: Of course.
Julia: Of course.
Amanda: There's gotta be a high pony.
Julia: Tied back.
Amanda: She gives a high pony energy.
Eric: I love that. Yeah, I think it's— you slice through her ponytail holder, and her hair comes down, and it's just, like, in a real kind of Medusa sort of way, all of—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —all of her hair strands are now— are knives, and now they're just like clanging and swinging around as she bobs and weaves around you.
Amanda (as Troy): If you're not gonna change your mind, this is it then. I'm going through you.
Eric: Sick.
Julia: Tell him, Troy.
Eric: Alright. Flip it again.
Amanda: Heads.
Eric: Tails.
Brandon: Ah, shit.
Eric: Parry.
Eric (as Edie): You're too concentrated on me, Troy. No wonder your brother threw you out of the royal line. You only see what's in front of you. You're more concentrated on making me look stupid than giving me the advantage.
Eric: She spins around with all of her hair knives, like, spinning around her, just brushing you back to where you started.
Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Alright, 1-1.
Amanda: Heads.
Eric: Heads.
Brandon: Yeah, baby.
Eric: That's another dub for Troy Riptide. Troy Riptide is up two rounds to zero.
Julia: Do it, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Good thing is not just me then, huh?
Amanda: And Troy is going to grab Bramble from over his shoulder and fling him at Edie's face.
Eric (as Bramble): Tax evasion.
Eric: Okay. Let's see how Di feels about this whole situation.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. How full is our cup of soup?
Eric: I wonder— yeah, I wonder what chips she's going to be eating.
Julia: Ooh, I want a cup of soup right now. Like a tomato soup right now, it'd be so good.
Eric: Di sits up in her office chair and goes—
Eric (as Di): Oh, no. Oh, there it is.
Eric: And she reaches down on a bag of potato chips and she opens it.
Julia: Yeah, that's what I figured.
[theme]
Amanda: Hello, everybody. It's Amanda, and welcome to the midroll, where I have to thank our newest patron, Tory, not Troy. Sorry, Tory, as you can tell, I got Troy on my brain. And welcome as well to Kayla, who joined as an annual member. We are only able to make this show because of your support on Patreon and your support in texting people and making your friends and your group chats and your Discord servers check out JTP. So whether you're able to support us with your money at patreon.com/jointhepartypod, or tell a friend about why exactly they would like the show, and take their phone and put Join the Party in their podcast app and make them listen, both of those are so incredibly helpful. This week at Multitude, have you ever wondered what life would be like on a planet different from our own, or how writers create your favorite fictional worlds? Great news. You don't have to wonder anymore, because we have the facts for you. Every other week, astrophysicist and folklorist Dr Moiya McTier explores fictional worlds by building them with a panel of expert guests, interviewing professional world-builders, reviewing the merits of worlds that have already been built, and so much more. You will learn and laugh and gain an appreciation for how special our planet really is. So go ahead and check out Exolore, E-X-O-L-O-R-E, in your podcast app, or go to exolorepod.com. We're sponsored this week by Volante Design. If you are looking for gear that makes you feel badass, like you're main character, like you are starring in your own video game, Volante Design is the place to go. They have high quality handmade jackets and other accessories that bring your main character energy into your everyday life. They have official licenses from series like Assassin's Creed, Devil May Cry, and Star Trek, no big deal, as well as plenty of original collections that you are going to love. They're ethically sourced, ethically manufactured, and made for quality that will last you for years to come. Now, Volante Design has been kind enough to make a promo code just for Join the Party listeners. So if you go to volantedesign.us and use the code jointheparty, you will get 10% off your entire order. It's a pretty big deal for a fellow small business, so we really want to thank them. Go on ahead to volantedesign.us, and use code jointheparty for 10% off your order. Volante Design, stay badass. We are also sponsored by Tab for a Cause, which is one of those rare things. A browser extension that lets you raise money for charity while just doing your thing online. Basically, when you install the Tab for a Cause browser extension, you open a new tab in your browser, you see a beautiful photo from somewhere on Earth and a small ad, and part of that ad money goes toward a charity of your choice. So you can join Team Join the Party by signing up at tabforacause.org/jointheparty. That's tabforacause.org/jointheparty. And now, back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Amanda looks so pissed.
Amanda: Yesterday's text from real-life sister Bailey was, "Uh-oh. I bought a $300 suitcase. It's really nice. Do I keep it? I probably should return it, but I want to keep it."
Eric: Alright, folks. It is now the fog group's turn. What— let's do dexterity checks for both of you really quickly. I think the fog group has kind of disapparated, so we're gonna see who goes first.
Julia: 12.
Brandon: Natural 20, 23.
Julia: Ooh. Good job, Brandon.
Eric: Umbi. Umbi goes first. Umbi, you are 10, you are right in the maw. You are right— the wind tunnel is blowing by you. You are right in the face of the blackberry dragon. What do you do?
Brandon: I'm gonna do the same thing that's worked in the— if— you know, Eric, if something ain't broke, don't fix it. Wait— yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: That's right.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Just like this— this take, it ain't broke, so we're keeping it in.
Brandon: I'm gonna pull out an Oil of Taggit and throw it into the maw.
Eric: Remind— what does the Oil of Taggit do again?
Brandon: It is the poison that if the creature fails on a bomb save DC throw, it becomes unconscious.
Eric: Oh, right.
Brandon: It's what put the creature— the dragon to sleep last time.
Eric: Oh, that's right. Okay. So what do I roll?
Julia: And then the dagger woke it up.
Eric: So fun.
Brandon: Yep. If it takes damage, it wakes back up.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: You have to hit a 16.
Eric: Okay, I'm gonna con— this is a dragon, Brandon Grugle, so I have plus 5.
Brandon: Wow, you just last name me. Holy shit. Okay.
Eric: Brandon James Grugle, plus 5. I'm looking for an 11 or higher. You're looking for a 10 or lower, 50/50, buddy.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Heart of the cards.
Brandon: Heart of the cards.
Eric: [dice roll] That's a 14, my friend.
Brandon: Fuck.
Julia: Oh, brutal.
Eric: So you take out one of your— your Jager bomb potions.
Brandon: And I say—
Brandon (as Umbi): Have a— here, have a snack.
Brandon: And I throw it in the maw. The teeth of the dragon becomes stained with this oil.
Eric: I love that.
Brandon: And then it, like, does a little burp. It's like [burps]
Eric: Incredible. Yeah, I think it's still like— it's still sucking in.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: For sure.
Brandon: And then the final thing I'll do on my turn is just take my movement and I'll go perpendicular. So if it's sucking this way, I'll go the other way.
Eric: Good idea. Love that. Cammie, it's your turn.
Brandon: With, with Havana in hand.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Good. Smart.
Eric: Smart, smart, smart, smart.
Julia: Can I do another free action perception check?
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, you can do a che— why don't you do a perception check before you look?
Julia: Another Nat 20.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Julia, Julia, send your dice in for an inspection, please.
Julia: There— it's liquid, baby. The core. Mwa.
Amanda: Damn.
Eric: Julia, the IRS is going to— is going to audit you.
Julia: Okay, they can audit my dice.
Brandon: Nat 1 invasion.
Eric: Okay. A Natural 20.
Julia: Yeah, it's a Nat 1 invasion. I rolled a 6 the last time I rolled.
Eric: The explosion clouds have cleared. Cammie, in front of you are large chains that made the big metal thunk, have landed on the ground. The metal collar is hanging loosely around the dragon's neck, and you can see it has two big, purple prickly claws that have shoved its way through the porthole, trying to push its way out.
Brandon: Like a little groundhog.
Eric: The— the ent— yes, Brandon, like a little groundhog. However, you can't— the porthole apparatus is, like, separated. The— also that like larger kind of metal ring, the porthole itself and that— the door that opened has slumped into the ground, those chains, those big chains were holding it there. However, the chains attached to the locks are still there. They are running into the ground somewhere and— and you— it has not been uncovered. And we didn't know where those chains went. They've still not been uncovered. At this point, you— maybe some more dirt has been pulled up from the commotion here at the explosion, and maybe you see— just from your perspective, another lock, which is kind of ina— kind of like a equidistant distance around this hole.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Farther away from you, kind of like on the top right corner, if you made a square around this circle.
Julia: Okay. Is the dragon still occupying the hole that it is, like, been coming out of?
Eric: Correct. Yes. Let's say— I— I'll tell you this, it has four legs, right? So it's shoulders, its front shoulders—
Amanda: Not a wyvern, I see.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: So its front shoulders, and it's— the front half of its body are— is trying to push its way through, and it's using its front legs and claws to pull itself through. But that's what I'm saying, you can't see in— where the hole comes from.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Because its whole body is blocking it at the moment.
Amanda: It's being born.
Julia: It's being born.
Brandon: It's being born.
Eric: It's done being born.
Julia: That does spoil my plan a little bit. That's okay.
Eric: It does—
Brandon: Just like the spoiled blackberry juice that's turned into blackberry wine.
Amanda: Yeah. And once it's gone, we can jump right into that big, old cavern of wine.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: That's what's down there, right?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Definitely all wine.
Amanda: It's like a lagoon, and you come out.
Brandon: Oh, a lagoon.
Amanda: Just gently tie dyed, like a light purple.
Brandon: And drunk as hell.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Eric, with a Nat 20, does it look like it took damage from my bombs?
Julia: Oh, yeah. How’s it looking?
Eric: Yeah, it's— it look— it is all blown up. There's a— the— its— whole right side of its face is all— its scales have all been flown off. It is burnt and scorched, and having a big, old bad time.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: I think— I— that's a good point, Brandon. Like, it's now no longer in its sucking attack, its vortex attack, and it's going out of this attack mode and closing its mouth to look more like a creature and not an abomination. I think that, like, a large part of its face, kind of the bottom and the right side is all blown up and scorched up, and ripped up.
Brandon: So he does not like me, then?
Amanda: Sorry, buddy.
Julia: Sorry, buddy.
Brandon: Now, is the blood blackberry juice?
Eric: Yeah. The, like, rivulets of wine dark blood is, like, dissipating into the pickling liquid, into the brine.
Brandon: Delicious.
Julia: Probably is delicious.
Amanda: Pickled blackberry sounds really good, yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: You know what? I think Cammie is going to try to get around the dragon, is gonna take her movement to kind of do what Umbi did, but the other way.
Eric: Oh, the other way? Sure.
Julia: And go kind of perpendicular.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: And then she is going to cast the hex, go unseen. As an action, you and your familiar become invisible. The effect ends at the end of your next turn—
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Julia: —or if you or your familiar attack or cast a spell.
Eric: Smorp. Fucking smorp.
Amanda: Pretty good.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: Smorp.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hell yeah. I love that. I love you running the opposite way, and then you just go in, like, a puff of steam, you just disappear.
Julia: You're like [magic noise]
Eric: Alright. It is now the dragon's turn. The dragon pushes itself up using all of its might to push itself through this whole bleeding dark purple indigo blood into this liquid. It's like creating almost a cloud around it as it struggles. And [dice roll] I rolled a Nat 20 as it—
Brandon: Holy shit.
Eric: —reaches one of its claws out, struggling for a handhold and pins Umbi down.
Brandon (as Umbi): [grunts]
Julia: Oh, boy. Oh, no. Not good.
Eric: Uh, please take 21 points of damage.
Julia: Okay, okay.
Brandon: Okay. Not bad, not bad.
Julia: For a Nat 20, not terrible.
Amanda: Guys, don't go to Eric like this.
Eric: It pulls enough of its torso out of the hole, out of this porthole to make eye contact with you, Umbi. It's big, heavy head streaming with blood, to look at you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hello.
Eric: It is, like, blocking out any light. And the dragon says—
Brandon: What?
Julia: The dragon says?
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): I was put here through pain. The Greenfolk locked me in, and I forgive you for needing pain to set me free.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, thank you?
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): No. I thank you, exploding fruit.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's me.
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): You have a favor of me.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): Thank you.
Amanda: I got chills.
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): If I could give you one piece of advice right now.
Brandon (as Umbi): Please, please do.
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): I would hold on.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Julia: Is Umbi gonna be a fucking dragon rider.
Eric: Umbi, you feel the— the dragon puts pressure on your body as it struggles out of the hole and kind of looses its whole back of its torso and its legs kicking out of the hole. How much HP do you have, buddy?
Brandon: 18.
Julia: 18.
Amanda: Good thing you took the extra potion, huh?
Brandon: 18. I know.
Julia: Yeah, Brandon.
Amanda: [dice roll] Well, I guess the dragon's not trying to harm him. He could just, like, have the tension on his claw.
Eric: Oh, no. This is all accidental.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Boy.
Eric: Umbi, take another 11 points of damage.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: The dragon has put its pre— put pressure on you, struggling out of the hole.
Brandon (as Umbi): My stomach.
Amanda: You're gonna be pawpaw jerky at this point.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I mean, he already kind of is.
Amanda: It's so true.
Julia: That's right.
Eric: And with a satisfying pop, the back half of the dragon is out of the porthole. And more brine starts to gush out of this hole.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: It comes flooding in, like opening a door to a lake, it is just rushing in. It is filling everything. It sweeps everything and everyone up in its wake. The turnip uprising, they are all caught off their feet. Umbi, you are kind of pressed into the ground, so this just kind of starts— just rolls over you, but Havana goes tumbling end over end—
Brandon (as Umbi): Havana.
Eric: —in the reef. Cammie, give me an Arcana check really quickly.
Julia: [dice roll] 15 plus 5 for a Dirty 20.
Eric: You are a rock in a stream. This thing parts around you and Nonny. It is— you're invisible, so there's just this invisible kind of crick in the stream that just swims around you. And Cammie, you look around and things are starting to change. I think the first thing that you notice is that the water line is going up. The water at the top is filling up and up and up, and it is streaming up through the cave top.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, that's probably bad.
Eric: The second thing you notice is that there are growth happening around you. There are bean stalks that are—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, actually, this is good, then.
Eric: —growing everywhere, up and up and faster and faster and faster, first out of around the porthole where the former fountain of South Kompos City used to be. But then, it's everywhere. It is growing around the— the— it's going up and up and up the big hill. It is growing through the ruins of the houses. The whole main street is just one big stalk. Give me a perception check really quickly.
Julia: [dice roll]
Eric: Umbi, I'll let you have one, too.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: With this advantage.
Julia: You're not gonna believe me.
Amanda: Another one?
Julia: You're not gonna believe me.
Brandon: You'll believe me when I say I got a 4 and an 8.
Eric: That makes sense because you're stuck in a hole. That's fine.
Julia: That's checks out. That makes sense.
Amanda: Brandon, we— we call that brand consistency, and it's important.
Eric: Alright. Well, you notice two things quickly. One is that Strunge is fighting against the current, because on top of his regular murder hornet wings, he has the color of a Starry Night speckled with soul flakes, these, like, ethereal wings.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Julia: Strunge is beautiful.
Eric: Yeah, he really is.
Brandon: Strunge.
Amanda: I love you, Strunge.
Eric (as Strunge): Strunge is back.
Eric: And ge— something that Cammie was looking out for now that Cammie notices, you know, there are a lot of boulders around here.
Julia: Hmm. Interesting.
Eric: And some of them are moving.
Julia: Oh, no.
Eric: Some of them are kind of growing faces, and mouths, and arms, and legs. And there's a bunch of them around.
Julia: Monstrous ones or, like, normal people ones?
Eric: Oh, no, they're bad— no, no. They're monstrous.
Julia: They're bad. Okay.
Brandon: Oh, shit.
Eric: They're big— they are like monsters with like—
Julia: Got you.
Eric: It's like someone painted faces on pet rocks—
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: —but it's like big, scary mouth, eye— little eyes, big hands, big legs.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: And they're starting to push themselves out of their rocky slumber. With a Nat 20, I also tell you one of them is kind of in the center of town.
Brandon: I'm just imagining like a Halloween decorated Golem from Pokemon.
Eric: Oh, 100%. Yeah. There is a boulder there that is also wiggling to life, and it's pushing itself up, and it's leaving a big hole in the ground. And it's leaking a dark purple, viscous liquid.
Julia: Like the blood of the dragon?
Eric: Or maybe blackberry wine.
Brandon: Guys, we fucked up.
Eric: Alright, sports fans.
Brandon: I'm not a fan of this sport, Eric.
Julia: I'm a big fan of this sport, actually.
Amanda: I love it. Listen, we freed the dragon. You have a boon from a dragon now, Brandon.
Brandon: Yeah, but if I'm dead, it won't really matter.
Amanda: Almost.
Julia: Boon from a dragon and almost dead.
Brandon: Can— I— I would like to use my boon as just like— I just want to take a fun ride around the skies on top of you.
Eric: You can on your turn, buddy. You can.
Brandon: Like, NeverEnding Story.
Eric: It's like— can I do that— ri— hey, can my boon be you save me right now? It is now back to Lucky Edie and Troy's turn. From the door of the airlock, you hear [rush of water] as the torrent of brine from the hole slams up against the door of the airlock. You hear another klaxon. [alarm sounds] Pressure mounting, pressure mounting. [alarm sounds]
Brandon: Look at that. You could do it, three times, Eric. Eric.
Eric: As Lucky Edie pulls Bramble off of her face and throws him back at you. Troy Riptide up two rounds to zero on Lucky Edie. Lucky Edie is calling.
Julia: You got this, Troy.
Amanda: Yep. Alright.
Eric: Okay. [coin flips] Heads.
Amanda: It is heads.
Eric: It's head.
Brandon: Fuck.
Amanda: Fuck.
Eric: For a split second, Troy looks towards the airlock door, concerned for your friends, and that's when she gets you right in the gut.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, God.
Eric (as Edie): You're in the middle of a knife fight. You can't even keep your eye on the ball. That's why you're never gonna get out of here, Troy Riptide.
Eric: Heads.
Amanda: Tails. Ah!
Julia: Good job. Good job.
Amanda: Alright, so on tails, Troy is going to look down, and for a second, you think his shoulders are shaking in pain, but it turns out he's laughing, because he is going to flex his abs and shoot the knife back out at her.
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Is that allowed?
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Is that allowed?
Julia: Yeah. You can do whatever you want.
Amanda: It doesn't have to hurt her.
Julia: You get to describe it. You're the DM in this situation.
Amanda: I mean, think about the tension in those muscles.
Julia: They're so tensed.
Brandon: There's never been a better move in any Dungeon & Dragon's game.
Eric: No, that's some Harry Houdini shi— if Harry Houdini had done that instead of not been ready, he would—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —be alive today.
Amanda: Yeah. A 100%.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: That's true.
Julia: I've heard that.
Brandon: He’d be 138.
Amanda: I know.
Eric: Harry Houdini never died, actually.
Brandon: I've heard that.
Eric: Harry Houdini is actually— was Obama. It's crazy.
Brandon: Oh, that's why he does not have a birth certificate.
Amanda: Oh. That's why.
Eric: That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Brandon, good one. Hey, Brandon?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Hold on one second. We're using this, but here's the joken.
Brandon: Thank you.
Julia: Amanda says, "Give that back."
Eric: I think it's fine that you flex the knife out.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So you're not stuck. But you are bleeding from the stab.
Amanda: Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I think the only— the only, like, sentiment that Troy is going to convey is just like a laughing disdain. She thought she had the upper hand on me for a minute, but I was able to kind of parry right back. I— I want her to start losing some confidence.
Eric: Yeah, absolutely.
Brandon: No, I don't want to know about you. I would rather yes and you take some blood, smear it on your face like a fucking menace.
Eric: That is— Umbi would do that in a moment.
Amanda: Yeah, he would. I love it. Okay.
Eric: I also love the—hey, can we all go around and say what color blood each of your characters have?
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: What color?
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: Because, like, I've been doing purple blood. So I— I want to know you guys— because, like, in my head, Umbi was like verdant green.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: I do think Cammie's is like a very light green.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. Like a green tea.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Exactly.
Amanda: Yeah. I think Troy is like a charcoal gray.
Brandon: Oh, that's cool. I like that.
Julia: Ooh. That's hot.
Eric: That makes you sound like a Star Trek alien. That's cool.
Amanda: It's true.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Yeah. I think Umbi's is sort of just like a golden but matte yellow-orange.
Eric: Oh, like, more like a nectar, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, like a nectar.
Eric: No, that's fine. That's fine.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Yeah, I went a little more alien with that. Okay. That's cool.
Amanda: Alright. Final flip.
Eric: Alright, give it to me. Come on, come on, Edie. Come on. Heads.
Amanda: Tails.
Eric: Oh!
Amanda: Yes!
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yes!
Eric: Fuck!
Julia: You did it.
Eric: I bio hacked her. Goddammit.
Julia: Not enough to win basic luck checks, motherfucker.
Eric: Not enough to win heads or tails.
Brandon: If you don't want to die by Troy Riptide's hand, you don't engage him in sword combat.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: That's the rule.
Amanda: I think the way this goes down is as Edie is like staring at me, staring at the knife that Troy, like, ejected from his own abs, and just like looking at me in confusion, she forgot to keep her eye on the real ball, which is Bramble. And having bounced off the back wall and then stuck himself to the ceiling, he drops once more directly on her face.
Brandon: That's incredible. And what does he say, Eric, again? What's his catchphrase?
Eric (as Bramble): Tax evasion.
Julia: Brimbling and brambling, though.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: He out there brimbling and brambling.
Eric: He is brimbling and brambling.
Amanda: We call that the old brimble bramble. It worked on our way in.
Julia: Give him the old brimble, bramble, brimble, bramble.
Brandon: Because Eric has described him as sort of like— you know those toys where you would expand it and close it?
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandon: And you could put your head in those, you know?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Expanded it. So I love the idea that he’s just, like, is stuck on Lucky Edie's head, like one of those things now.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: I love that. That's incredible. Okay, wonderful. Alright, Troy Riptide, three to zero. In the next round, Troy is going to make his final push.
Amanda: Hell yeah. I have a question about the situation here. If the brine is rushing into the space, does that mean people are starting to heal or regenerate at all? If there's, like, such a concentration of brine coming out situation.
Brandon: That's a good question. Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. She's like, "What happened with Strunge? Why does he have beautiful, Starry Night wings now?"
Brandon: I mean, because that's what a Strunge do, Julia.
Julia: I know that how Strunge do, but I'm just saying, why— why Strunge do now?
Amanda: I don't know.
Eric: That's a good question, Amanda.
Amanda: Hard to say why Strunge do.
Eric: Hard to say.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: I think that the thing that we've gotten across is not that the brine heals you, but that it is kind of a like—
Brandon: Preservative.
Eric: —preservative, yes, exactly. So I don't think people get healed, but it's more like the brine has—
Amanda: Slowing the pain.
Eric: —arc— arcanic properties.
Amanda: Okay, Cool.
Eric: Arcane properties.
Amanda: Got it.
Eric: Don't— don't— Brandon, don't tell them I said arcanic. Okay.
Amanda: Y'all ever noticed that you have more fun when you're winning?
Julia: Yeah. I have noticed that.
Brandon: While— know that we're winning, Amanda.
Julia: We always be winning, so—
Brandon: Shit. I hate it when Eric rolls in last.
Eric: [dice roll] So—so this is the third— this is the third roll, right? So what I was looking for was exactly the thing Julia suggested, going from 20 and getting a 19— 20 or an 18,19, 20 for Di to come help you, right?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So Di is watching you on this, like, CCTV. She's in some, like, holding room somewhere in an office chair. Like, in— in my head, it's like this big, like puffy office chair. It is a rolly chair, but it's overstuffed, and you can— like, some of the stuffing is coming out of it, too.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And she's watching, and she sees, like, Lucky Edie take steps to stab you in the gut. And she's like—
Eric (as Di): Oh.
Eric: And I rolled a 17, so she's like—
Eric (as Di): Nah, Troy got it. It's fine.
Julia: It's so close.
Amanda: Damn it.
Eric (as Di): I wonder if he— he should probably have gauze.
Eric: Okay. Alright. It is the fog group now. We're gonna go Umbi and then Cammie.
Brandon: Well, what's going on around me, Eric? What's happening? What's the dragon doing?
Eric: You are now underneath it, because that— it kind of like pushed itself out of the hole on its last turn. It's gonna do something next. So you're kind of just like— you were in this hole, you were, like, pushed into this big claw— dragon foot depression. You can kind of push yourself up and get out of the hole. You're, like, prone right now. You— so you can use half your movement to get out of the hole, but you didn't move because you were kind of— you had— the dragon gate did you a favor not to let you get swept up in the— in the rapids.
Brandon: How tall is this dragon?
Eric: It's pre— let me look this up, actually. I have—
Julia: Big dragon.
Eric: Shout out to The Field Guide to Floral Dragons, and I'm using the Vampire Lily dragon as a jumping off point.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: So I can say that its size is large. It's more than 10 feet tall, probably around 20.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: So I'd say 20— 20 feet. Big dude, big dude, big dragon. But you— so you can look around, and you could always do a check if you want to, but you got to get yourself out of the hole.
Brandon: Can I do a check, and that doesn't count my action to do a check?
Eric: No, you can check and then do something.
Brandon: Can I maybe do an investigation or perception, whatever, to see, like— is the skin of this dragon at a scale at which— you know, blackberry, they're like seeds, right? Like, they have divots.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Are they big enough for me to, like, hold?
Eric: Brandon, that's a good fucking question. I'm gonna tell you, yeah, what are those called the little— the little doohickeys on the berries?
Brandon: Oh, they have a weird name.
Eric: Like druplets?
Brandon: Yeah, something like that.
Eric: Yeah. I didn't look that up. I— I just knew that in my brain.
Amanda: That's just a Pokemon.
Eric: Druplet.
Amanda: Just— just a Pokemon.
Julia: Druplet is—
Eric: Druplet. Yeah. I guess— I—I— yeah, I think that the dragon itself is made out of those blackberry parts, the druplets, and then it has, like— it is brambled all over. And of course, like its teeth and its mouth are all blackberry brambles. I like that. So yeah, you can definitely hold on.
Brandon: Okay, great.
Amanda: Julia—
Eric: Although I talked to you, so you could also talk to it.
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda: Julia, it's basically one of those quilted, patent leather bags that all the girlies have right now.
Julia: Aw.
Brandon: Well, I would like to reach into my jacket.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Pull out just a small little vial, just a little guy, little guy.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: Just a little guy.
Amanda: Just a little guy.
Brandon: Pop the cork open with one thumb, down it really quick, and I want to have taken a potion of climbing.
Eric: Love it.
Julia: To climb dragon.
Brandon: When I drink this potion, I gain a climbing speed equal to my walking speed for one hour, and I have advantage on strength/athletics checks I make to climb.
Eric: I love it.
Brandon: I would love to climb this little fella.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Yeah. That's a good idea. Sure.
Brandon: Now, I have a 30 feet of walking speed, so half, so I'd get 15 feet because I have to get up from prone.
Eric: Yeah. No, that's good. I think that if you're— if you down a potion of climbing, you can, like, scurry up its foreleg.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: It's shin. Yeah, a 100%.
Brandon: Well, I would be near the top of it if it's 15 feet.
Eric: Oh, yeah, you're— yeah, you can get up on the shoulder.
Brandon: Cool. So I'm gonna do that. And as a free action, as I'm doing that, I'm gonna, you know, yell up to the dragon and just like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Hey, don't mind me. I just want to hang out. Is this cool? I figured it'd be safer to be on you than, like, underneath you.
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): A wise decision from someone who has much experience.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do you think you're older or me?
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): Us both, us kindred old spi— are kindred, ancient spirits.
Amanda: I thought the dragon was gonna say a lot of experience being over and under Greenfolk. And I was like, "The blackberry dragon's about to call Umbi a slut and I'm here for it."
Eric: Oh, no.
Brandon: On the way up as well as I want to wave down to Havana, because I can't see.
Eric: Oh, Havana is, like, in the time got— got rapided away, yeah.
Brandon: Okay. I want— I want to wave to Kidd and be like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Kidd, look at me, look at me.
Amanda: Oh, you should see if it can upchuck these other Cervantes siblings.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Thank you.
Eric: Yeah, that's a good point, because Kidd and his remaining siblings are swimming in the rapids, setting a bead on the dragon, and it's firing pins at the dragon's haunches.
Brandon (as Umbi): Kidd, no. No, Kidd, don't do that.
Eric: Cammie, it's your turn.
Julia: Um—
Brandon: Bi.
Julia: —Cammie's gonna cackle to remain unseen.
Eric: Great.
Julia: And— okay. Several questions, how close the boulder?
Eric: Since it's on the map, it's another thing where you gotta, like, take time getting over there, but you can.
Julia: Okay. And then, Eric?
Eric: Uh-huh.
Julia: —lichenthropy.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I assume also is similar stats to lichenthropy, the— the wolf one.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah?
Eric: Yeah. What about it?
Julia: That's technically a curse in D&D.
Eric: Yeah, interest— it's interesting you say that. Why don't you give me an Arcana check to see if you know that or not? See if I answer your question. Julia, you gotta— you gotta roll for that, my friend. I'm not telling you that for free, Miss Remove Curse.
Julia: 16 plus 5 for a 21.
Eric: Yes, it's a curse, Julia. It's a curse.
Julia: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I'd like to get over there.
Eric: Okay. So, yeah, the boulder— the boulder on the map and like all of the other lichenthropy boulders, are currently coming to life. They're on the— they're on the initiative rolls right now.
Julia: Sure, sure.
Eric: I think this one, the— with the hole behin— you can see the hole behind it, you see the viscous purple liquid behind it, so you can go over there and you still have an action.
Julia: Oh, wonderful.
Eric: As the lichenthropy boulder blooms over you, teeth covered in moss, eyes and mouth, angry teeth buried at you.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Can't see me.
Eric: Oh, God— fucking shit. Goddammit. Damn it.
Julia: And I would like to use my 10th level tea magic ability.
Eric: 10th level?
Julia: 10th level.
Eric: Oh, your 10th level—
Brandon: Holy shit.
Eric: —to your character me— level, yeah.
Julia: Yes. Herbal Remedy.
Eric: Uh-huh.
Julia: Which allows me to cast the spell greater restoration without expending a spell slot or material components. And one of the aspects of greater restoration is it can remove one curse.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: I would like to do that, please.
Amanda: Damn.
Julia: I boop it.
Eric: I love that you just boop it. You— you're goa— I want to make this clear, you are walking up— invisible or not, you are walking up to a creature known for— if it gets you turned into big boulder covered in moss, and you're like, "I'm gonna go boop it."
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: I booped it.
Eric: I have no recourse to try to get you. I ca— I can't.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You're invisible.
Brandon: It's tough to be in Eric at this moment right now.
Eric: I knew Julia was gonna do this. I just didn't think— I was like, "Oh, Julia's gonna come up here and now she's behind me with a gun." I'm like, "Julia's gonna come in the front door and she's like, 'Not today, bitch.'"
Julia: It's the astronaut gun meme.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: What do you mean you're invisible? I was the entire time.
Eric: Goddamn. Hey, Julia, what kind of Greenfolk do you want this person to be? I'm gonna ask you.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: To give you a little present.
Julia: Ooh, that's a great question. I think they're a blueberry plant.
Eric: Oh, like a blueberry— yeah, a blueberry.
Julia: Like a blueberry bush.
Eric: Yeah. I like the idea that as you boop, you greater estimation, remove curse this lichen-covered boulder. I like the idea that the boulder just, like, breaks apart, like you're carving a statue, and then it just like crumbles. And then inside, covered in moss, is this little blueberry plant with a sash on, with the beanstalk pin. And the Greenfolk is in mid-scream like kind of curled up going, "Aaaah." And as you— as you restore their—
Julia: Humanity?
Eric: Yeah, its Greenfolkness—
Julia: Green— gre—
Eric: —this folkness back to it, it is currently screaming.
Julia: Cammie's like, quietly to herself—
Julia (as Cammie): I did it.
Eric: Do you just walk by?
Julia: Yeah, because I'm still invisible. Oh, wait, no. Wait, no, I'm sorry, it ends when I cast a spell.
Amanda: But it's not a spell, right?
Julia: Oh.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: That is true.
Amanda: Because it doesn't use a spell slot.
Eric: What? Where am I? What's— what's happening? And you just move on by. Incredible.
Amanda: We're underwater now.
Eric: Cammie, inside this cave, you see where the viscous purple liquid is coming from. In the back of this cave, there's an incredibly large tankard, which is—
Amanda: That's a barrel?
Julia: That's a kind of barrel.
Brandon: That's a barrel.
Eric: With— with a leak in it. And it's kind of, like, leaking out this blackberry wine.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: Inside of this cave also, there is paper everywhere. It's all wet in the brine that's kind of rushed in here. It's these books that have fallen off of kind of this bookshelf. There's papers, there's notebooks everywhere. There's some, like, overturned chairs and overturned tables. An incredibly disgusting couch in there.
Julia: Nice. I love a disgusting couch.
Brandon: Would you say those are empty chairs and empty tables?
Eric: I would say there's empty chairs and empty tables right here. You're absolutely right.
Julia: Why is this the Les Mis arc?
Brandon: Because you made it to the Les Mis arc.
Julia: I did do that.
Eric: Now, that you've kind of like— you're getting close enough to the— this tankard to know where it's coming from, you see that something else is kind of leeching into the liquid around you. You see there's a portrait that is on the ground, it's leaking paint. You can still kind of make it out. It is a painting, kind of a portrait sitting of the City Council of South Kompos. And sitting on the left, even though everyone was told to keep their— their faces straight, but she couldn't help, is Gloria.
Julia: Amazing. So cool. Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-oh.
Eric: It is now the dragon's turn. The dragon's going to— the dragon's gonna open up its mouth again and just kind of start sucking up.
Brandon (as Umbi): No. Dragon friend, don't do that.
Eric: And it's— it's just sucking things up. It's sucking up the Cervantes siblings. It's sucking up ruins of the ground.
Brandon (as Umbi): Why are you doing this?
Eric: It's sucking up boulders, being like—
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): I was trapped with pain and I— and I escape with pain as well.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do you want a potion of greater healing? I got one of those.
Eric (as Blackberry Dragon): I don't know what that is.
Julia: Fair. Fair, dude.
Eric: And the Cervantes siblings, [dice roll] two of them, two more, the other sib— the other two siblings are sucked in and Kidd Cerv— and Kidd Cervantes grabbing towards his siblings, stays and fires.
Amanda: No.
Eric: Here's something that happens. One of the lichenthropy boulders grabs one of the prisoners and bites them.
Brandon: Is it Captain Graft?
Julia: It could be.
Eric: I rolled a Nat 1, so you're goddamn right it is.
Brandon: Yay!
Amanda: Yay!
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Cheaters never win.
Eric: Captain Graft just, like, gets big, goes—
Eric (as Captain Graft): Aaaah!
Eric: And just poofing— poofing around, be like—
Eric (as Captain Graft): What's happening? Why did that boulder bite me?
Eric: So we'll see if that's a problem later. A bunch of the boul— and you can see that the boulders are kind of, like, attracted to the noise of the crowd.
Julia: Whoops. Uh-oh.
Eric: And are moving towards the crowd.
Brandon: Uh-oh. Yeep.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: It is now Lucky Edie and Troy's turn. Troy—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Troy Riptide won three rounds in a row.
Brandon: Woo.
Eric: So this—this final round is Troy's kind of final flourish. This is where you— you press your victory and demand answers.
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Ooh.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So we still are going to play this out. We're still going to call heads and tails, and we're going to use the lunge and parry rules. However, this should be— it is about you— Troy getting what he wants. The winner, however, gets the last word. If Troy wins, if the caller wins, you get the final flourish. You ask a final question that must be answered truthfully as you disarm and tower over your opponent.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Which you can decide to do with that as you wish, after that.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: Hot.
Eric: However, if Edie wins, Edie narrowly escapes and gets the last word.
Amanda: Okay. Neither outcome is Troy dying, so that's great.
Eric: I know, you won. You won.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: You did it, Troy.
Eric: So Troy has the upper hand, but this is whether Edie stays under your thumb or narrowly escapes.
Amanda: Alright. I'm ready.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: You got this, Troy.
Amanda: Tails.
Eric: It's heads.
Brandon: Fuck.
Eric: It's still best two out of three, and the idea is that you still get to press your victory and demand answers, even as I parry.
Amanda: Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): I know you're smarter than all of them, Edie. What are they doing wrong? Why is the diamond knot losing to a bunch of us ragtag pirates?
Eric (as Edie): That assumes we're playing the same game, Troy Riptide. What are we playing? What are we doing this for?
Amanda (as Troy): You're not trying to kill the salmon, are you? Whatever it is. Are— are you?
Eric (as Edie): Kill? You're not classified enough to know that information.
Eric: As I think you're bearing down on Edie, or you just, like, hold— I think you're just, like, holding your crossbow on her. Just stepping forward, and she's taking steps back, trying to, like, move her knives around, both her hair. And even her— like, every step she takes, she puts her feet up as if she's going to parry it with her feet. She has her arms moving in all directions, just ready for you to take the shot as you are bearing down on her.
Amanda: Yeah. Heads.
Eric: It's tails.
Brandon: Shit!
Amanda: Fuck!
Eric: Here's a rule we didn't talk about before. If you get three incorrect calls in a row, I get a repost, which means I get to ask any question of you, and you have to answer truthfully, as I definitely make a counter attack.
Amanda: Yikes. Hope I don't get a third one wrong.
Julia: Me, too, buddy. Me, too.
Brandon: Oh, boy.
Eric (as Edie): You're not gonna fire, are you? You finally have me in the palm of your hand. You've spent all of this time— you've spent all of this time throwing your goddamn Bramble friend at me, but who's the one bleeding now, Troy? It's you. You're not gonna fire. You don't have it in you.
Amanda (as Troy): Fucking killer.
Eric (as Edie): You know the thing about the truth, Troy? It's too much for you. I could tell it to you and you tell me I was a liar, and then you would turn it around over and over and over in your little, beautiful head. I turned it over in your beautiful head, and you'd say, "Edie's a liar. I don't know why she would tell you that." Maybe I can get your sister in here, and maybe you'll believe her. Maybe I can ha— maybe I have some documents that your brother signed. Maybe you'd believe that. Maybe I could— I could string Umbi and Cammie up, and maybe they'd finally be able to tell you, you'll never believe me, but the truth, it's too big for you.
Amanda (as Troy): You can't get me with your knives, so why don't you try your words? Try me.
Eric (as Edie): Alright, fine. Come in close, Troy Riptide, I don't want the — I don't want the— I don't want the barnacles here.
Eric: Final flip.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Tails.
Eric: It's heads.
Brandon: Shit!
Amanda: Shit!
Julia: Oh, my God.
Eric: She whips around and slashes you like an asterisk. One slash down with one arm, the other slash down with the other arm, making an X. Her hair, horizontally and then vertically, cutting you.
Eric (as Edie): The truth is you're a fucking idiot, and everyone thinks so.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: And she pushes you over. She hits a button, the pressure lock on the door behind her releases. Light streams in behind her from the facility. She steps through the door and closes it, and you are left in darkness. And that's when the door behind you, the pressure opens, and the rapids of the brine flood in, as the yellow light of the alarm continues to cut. Now, a little bit changed and warped by the liquid and the flood of brine overtakes you.
[theme]