What started as a quick snack stop at a convenience store has escalated into an action move escape sequence. Make for the exits and leave with everyone on board!
Soon may the agent-men come / To steal our food and keys and rum / One day, when the falls do run / they’ll take their leave and go
Sponsors
- Our brand-new CAMPAIGN 3 DICE!!! Preorder yours today at https://jointhepartypod.com/dice
- The Signal Awards, where you can vote for JTP in the Gaming & Actual Play category before October 17 at https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2024/shows/general/gaming-actual-play
Find Us Online
- website: https://jointhepartypod.com
- patreon: https://patreon.com/jointhepartypod
- instagram: https://instagram.com/jointhepartypod
- twitter: https://twitter.com/jointhepartypod
- tumblr: https://jointhepartypod.tumblr.com
- facebook: https://facebook.com/jointhepartypod
- merch & music: http://jointhepartypod.com/merch
Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Hello, everybody, it's Amanda. Right before we get to the show, I want to let you know that we have finally released Campaign Three dice. We made them in partnership with Dispel Dice, and they are now available for you to pre order at jointhepartypod.com/dice. Also we're nominated for a Signal Award, which is incredibly cool. So you can help us win between now and October 17th, 2024, go to vote.signalaward.com and search for Multitude to help all three of Multitude's nominated shows, Join the Party, Spirits, and Pale Blue Pod win. Thank you so much, and enjoy the episode.
[theme]
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. "The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire." This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Following the distress messages from the key with a gaze or as distressed as an ageless pirate can yar, the crew headed to Mango Crossing. But before entering the natural space, they stopped at a handy convenience store. The only one you'll need before going into Mango Crossing, it says. Cammie and Umbi walked in, bought some jerky and talked to the store owner, who warned Umbi about touching the tortangos, big mango turtles who are born on the island and have a massive mama protecting them. Outside, Troy realized too late, after they parallel parked the ship, that they pulled up next to key retrieval team boats and activated the— turn the Sea Whip into a fancy ship, and not a crappy pirate ship mode. But he couldn't warn Umbi and Cammie, who got spotted by some Diamond Knot goons. If only there was some sort of music cue that we could use to demonstrate how each of the characters are feeling about this. Let's get the party started.
Eric: Do you think Nonny sees everything, like, differently than everyone else? Not like dogs, but, like, what if Nonny sees everything like it's drawn?
Julia: I love that.
Eric: Like everything's like a children's illustration.
Julia: That's so cute.
Brandon: Like the A-ha music video?
Amanda: It’s like that one very hard game.
Julia: Cuphead?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, she sees everything like it's—
Julia: Nonny sees Cuphead vision, yes.
Eric: Like it's night— like it's a 1950s rubber hose cartoon.
Brandon: That's really good, actually.
Eric: [old timey music]
Amanda: She's like, "Oh, yeah, that watch. I know him."
Eric: Michigan J Compass is like—
Eric (as Compass): Nonny, you gotta go that way.
Eric: [old timey music] And then Nonny hops off the ship while everything's getting like— I like that the idea that Harold and Sil in a 1950s cartoon vibes, just is smiley face on the ship. Like, just has eyes and a mouth on the ship, and be like—
Eric (as Harold): Now, I'm fancy.
Brandon: Eric, have we been seeing Michigan J Compass through Nonny's eyes this entire time? And in reality, it's just a compass with two googly eyes glued to it?
Eric: I think it's both. I think Michigan J Compass is the only thing on both sides of the veil.
Brandon: I love that. That's great.
Amanda: Hmm. Yep. That's the anchor point.
Eric: Yeah. Nonny's like— has hopped down and people who are going in and out of the convenience store, or, like, going back to their boats with their chips and their jerky are like—
Eric (as Store Owner): Hi, Nonny. What a cute octopus. Have a good time.
Eric: And then all of a sudden, Nonny, like, disappears, and we only see an outline of Nonny walking forward. And then Nonny goes up to the convenience store, and then the wall of jerky, all of them have faces, and they're all like going, "Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot."
Brandon: They're all just fucking idling.
Eric: Yeah, they're all idling to the rhythm, while there's also an outline of Cammie in the background that you can see through the convenience store walls, and Nonny waves to Cammie, the outlines wave to each other.
Amanda: Is this what it's like to do hallucinogenic drugs? Because I don't want it. I don't like.
Eric: I think so. And then inside, Umbi is so old and squat in Nonny's eyes, you are bent at a 90-degree angle.
Julia: In my mind, Nonny also sees the Grim Reaper hovering behind Umbi at all times.
Eric: Yeah, Grim Reaper waves to Nonny, and Nonny waves back.
Brandon: That's really good.
Eric: And Umbi, not in real life, but in Nonny's eyes, you're leaning on a cane. You're leaning on two canes.
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Eric: And then, of course, they pull out the wanted poster of you, and then the wanted poster of Umbi waves to Nonny.
Amanda: This is great.
Julia: Someone animate this.
Eric: And the doors don't open because Nonny is both too small, weighs too little, and is invisible, so the automatic doors don't pick it up.
Julia: She's really having a hard time.
Amanda: It's great. I know you guys are sometimes, like, "Amanda, the references you make are so random," but, like, tell me Nonny isn't Leonardo DiCaprio top in Inception. Tell me she's not. She is the single anchor to reality.
Brandon: If I remembered anything about Inception, I'll agree with you.
Eric: I like at the end, Leonardo DiCaprio was like, "Hold on, I gotta figure out this is the reality." And then pulls Nonny out of a pocket and spins her.
Amanda: This is the cartoon version or the real version, I don't know.
Brandon: Is that the one where he has to wake up a bear because it's dreaming? Is it that one?
Amanda: No, that's the where he has to wake up Joseph Gordon-Levitt, because he's dreaming.
Brandon: Oh, right. That one, that one, that one.
Eric: I like how the only thing you took from the Revenant and put in the inception is the bear.
Julia: Yeah. Same thing.
Eric: Tom Hardy played the bear. That was where he started his masks thing. He wanted to be the bear.
Brandon: He did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Alright, folks. Well, now, that we get it— now, we pull ourselves out of Nonny's POV, and I think it's time to roll initiative.
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: Oh, boy.
Brandon: [dice roll] Come on, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy.
Julia: Do you guys know that octopuses have amazing visual systems, and a large fraction of their brain is dedicated to visual processing? However, they only see in black and white.
Brandon: Really?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: They only see in black and white. Oh.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: But they're so colorful.
Julia: But they can see polarization of light, and they can also have a 360 view without moving.
Brandon: Whoa, I didn't know that. That's cool.
Julia: Yeah. They have no blind spots on their anatomy.
Eric: Why is someone not made—
Amanda: That's like you, Eric. Head on a swivel.
Eric: Why is someone not made an indie video game from an octopus' perspective?
Amanda: Oh, I bet they are.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Have you not heard of Octodad, Eric?
Eric: Brandon, that's not about— that's not what that's about.
Julia: Are you sure?
Eric: That's not what that's about.
Amanda: Alright, I got 21.
Eric: Okay. Troy, 21?
Amanda: Yep.
Brandon: [dice roll] 17 for me.
Eric: Umbi, pretty good.
Julia: A whole 8 for Cammie.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Amanda: Julia, my first roll was a 4, so feel— I feel you.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. So to reset the scene inside the convenience store, two guards are bearing down on Umbi now that they recognized him as the explosive old man, or whatever I said before.
Brandon: Explosive geriatric, I think?
Eric: Explosive geriatric, I think so. Cammie is inside, invisible. Nonny is nearby, also invisible. But Nonny is currently outside of the convenience store. There are guards who have jumped out of their ship, walked by the Sea Whip, which looks different because it looks very nice right now. Troy is still hiding on the ship, trying to stay away from anybody looking at him. And there's a family that just had their time at the Book Depository. That memory is now very different than what it was before.
Brandon: We don't have to, like, protect them or anything, do we, Eric?
Eric: Well, they are on the initiative order, so let's see. I don't know. I don't know.
Julia: It might be a good thing. Maybe they have a secret rogue in the party, or whatever. I don't know.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, definitely, no secret roads, for sure.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I wasn't anticipating getting the new initiative here, but here we are. Let's play Dungeons and Dragons. Troy, you rolled a 21. You're first. You are not currently in intimate danger.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: May I pitch to you, Amanda, that you hold your turn?
Amanda: Let's do it.
Brandon: Because I might need you on the ship as for a quick getaway.
Amanda: Yeah. I think Troy is instinctually hiding behind Gloria, who is just like sunning herself on the deck, like many grannies who are waiting in the van. So he's going to remain crouched and keep an eye out. Watch for how the scenario breaks out.
Eric: Okay. You can hold your initiative. Umbi is a 17 and you are 21. I can't tell you if he's an X in the initiative or not, but, um, you know?
Amanda: Thank you.
Julia: I got a worst-case scenario thing, Brandon, if we need, so—
Brandon: It's just a giant nuke.
Julia: Yeah, I— I've had a nuke this entire time. I was gonna save it for the last episode, just in case. But this seems like the time to break it out.
Amanda: Eric, I nuked the salmon.
Eric: Linden B. Cassis. Cammie B. Johnson.
Julia: Yeah, So Cammie's actually been a level 20 alchemist this entire time.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: And I've really just been building my witch subclass.
Eric: Hmm. Smart, smart.
Brandon: Lindens B. Cassisen, is what I always say.
Julia: Lindens B. Casi—
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Did you ever think about the fact that Linden is also a type of tree?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Oh, that's true. Could just be differently spelled.
Eric: Alright. LBJ is now canonically in this world.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: There you go. Alright. Well, something is happening right now.
Julia: LBJ would be from Overstalk.
Amanda: Why did my brain say Linden Bellsprout Johnson? Amanda, that's a Pokemon, not a plant.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Pokemon, it's not a plant.
Julia: No, I like it.
Brandon: I like it. He would be the creepy guy looking into the window of the grass gym leader.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Erica, I think her name is?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Julia: She cute.
Amanda: Hottie. Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Do you guys remember that?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: They just have a fucking pervert of the game?
Amanda: Yes, I do.
Julia: There's a lot of just random perverts in the Pokemon games.
Amanda: Oh, a lot of pervs of Misty, yeah.
Brandon: That's true, that's true.
Amanda: Not enough pervs of Brock.
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda: And that's the male gaze.
Brandon: That's true. I think it's just too early in the game. There's not enough perverts yet.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: They have to take their time building up the perverts.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Eric, did you want to do anything or—
Eric: I did. I did want to do something.
Julia: Oh. Woops. Uh-oh.
Eric: I didn't want to stop your pervert talk. Troy, make a perception check.
Amanda: Oh, certainly. I have a plus 1 to perception now.
Brandon: Whoa.
Amanda: Well, it's a 6. Is that good? Is that good?
Brandon: Would have been a 4 previously.
Julia: Consider. Would have been a 4.
Brandon: Right?
Amanda: Would have been a 5.
Julia: Ah.
Brandon: Oh, a 0 or 4, I see
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: As you are cowering behind Gloria—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —with your bow in hand—
Amanda: Manfully doing reconnaissance, yeah.
Eric: —you are— you're keeping yourself alert. You're looking out. Everything seems to be pretty calm. There is like a scuffle happening farther away.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: But, you know, as you reach down to tie your shoe, which is loose at the moment, you look up, everything's fine.
Amanda: Yeah, it's pretty good.
Julia: Does anyone else on the ship make a perception check or just Troy?
Eric: Fine. [dice roll] Gloria readjusts her strawberry metal hammer. Be like—
Eric (as Gloria): I need to— I have to catch the light. It keeps me young.
Eric: It is now the family inside turn with an initiative of 18.
Amanda: I'm a little concerned.
Brandon: Are you sure?
Julia: Secret rogues, secret rogues.
Eric: They pull over the chips shelving and use it to protect themselves.
Brandon: Good idea. Good idea.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Alright. And now it's Umbi's turn, initiative 17.
Brandon: Oh, that's great, so—
Julia: I'm glad these people could protect themselves before Umbi comes.
Brandon: Yeah, because I'm definitely not gonna help them. Eric, what I would love to do is use one of my new potions.
Eric: Great.
Brandon: I would love to— because the bad guys are, like, still sort of in the vague area of the door, right?
Eric: Yeah, they're stepping towards you across the convenience store.
Brandon: Yeah. And is there one somewhere else in the convenience store, too, I want to say?
Eric: There— there's one stepping towards you who's holding the wanted poster open to you.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And then the other one is near the soda, getting Sprite.
Brandon: Right.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Right, right, right.
Eric: Because— that's apparently his thing, is that everyone really needs Sprite.
Brandon: Sprunk, yeah.
Julia: Yes.
Brandon: I would love— I don't know that I could, Julia, so I don't know if I can do anything about Sprite guy, so just a heads-up on that.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: But—
Julia: I mean, I'm just gonna get us out of here.
Brandon: Oh, great. Okay, good.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: I would love to use a potion that is called oil of slipperiness. Weeee.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Amanda: Brandon, that's just lube.
Julia: That's just lube, baby.
Amanda: That's just DND lube.
Julia: That's just lube.
Brandon: Gross. I would love to use the secondary effect, which is, alternatively, the oil can be poured on the ground as an action where it covers a 10-foot square, duplicating the effect of the grease spell in that area for eight hours.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: So I want to throw it like so it covers the area of the door. So if anyone else comes in, they will automatically slip like a banana.
Eric: Got it. Of course, of course. Slip and slide.
Julia: They slip and side, yeah.
Brandon: And obviously, if I can get the other guy too, that would be great. It's a 10-foot square center on a point.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: It becomes difficult to reign. And when it appears, each creature standing in that area must succeed on a deck saving throw or fall prone. And if a creature that enters the area or ends its turn there, must also succeed on a deck saving throw or fall prone.
Eric: Right, because we're keeping the cartoon going, of course.
Julia: Of course.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.
Amanda: Brandon, that's tight.
Eric: Let me know— can you explain to me what the viscosity and color, and maybe swirl of the bottle does this potion of slipperiness looks like?
Brandon: Well, Eric, have you ever had a tiki cocktail that you got and you were like, "Oh, this is kind of strange-looking." It's sort of like— not quite brown, but like maybe in a slightly unappetizing color, or unexpected color, and then you take a sip, and you're like, "Oh, shit. This is banana." Because when we make this potion, you just kind of distill banana peels down.
Eric: Oh, of course, you do.
Julia: Oh, naturally.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Oh, God. Yeah. It has a real unappetizing color. Like banana peels, as soon as you peel them, immediately look like compost.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Exactly.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. I like that.
Brandon: And the viscosity is just like— you might describe it in a way that is like what our colleagues said earlier, that I won't repeat here on this kid-friendly podcast, but like—
Julia: Lube.
Amanda: Mechanical lube for your scooter.
Julia: I'll say it, lube.
Eric: Sure, sure. No, it's fine. Alright. I like it. So you can just toss the potion, right?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Alright, sure. Yeah. Underhand toss the potion right in front of the door, everyone and everything is gonna get slippery—
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: —in a 10-foot square. I'm going to immediately roll for the guy who was walking towards you.
Brandon: And the best part about this is now with my level up, you have to hit an 18. Good luck.
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: Got to be an 18 not to be fit?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: 18 not to be fit.
Eric: Oh, it's an 18 not to be fit. Oh, God.
Julia: I can't imagine these guys are very dexterous.
Eric: Alright, my Dex is plus 2, but we'll see how it goes.
Julia: Why? Mine isn't even plus 2.
Eric: Well, that's because you're a frail bush witch.
Julia: Rude.
Eric: And these guys are— have been drafted by the World Government.
Julia: Rude. They're still grunts.
Eric: Uh, luck— hey, that's high. I rolled a 16, my friends, 14 plus 2.
Brandon: Not high enough, motherfucker.
Julia: It's still not high enough.
Eric: Whoaaaaa. Whoaaaaa. Splat. Oh, it's all over my pants. Alright, everything's slippery. Now, here's a question—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —do you have to deal with the slippery?
Brandon: I do, but I don't plan on going out that way.
Amanda: Take it to the front.
Eric: Oh, you're— right. You're gonna Banksy it, right? You're gonna exit through the gift shop?
Brandon: I'm gonna exit the gift shop.
Eric: Got it.
Brandon: And also, I didn't throw it under my area. I'm under my feet, so yes.
Eric: Okay. Alright. It is now the group of guards' turn. And now, we— as we go back to Nonny's perspective, 10 guards are charging into the convenience store as Nonny is slipping past them like the part in The Lion King before it gets sad, that Simba does.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: With the wildebeest.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. That's where I stopped watching, so—
Eric: Yeah. And I've never seen past it, so I don't know what else goes on in that movie.
Julia: Well, then, you've missed Elton John's greatest banger, Eric.
Eric: Oh, when he says [mumble sings] and vagabonds.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: That part?
Julia: Kings and Vagabonds.
Eric: Vagabonds. So here's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna roll 10 times. Here we go.
Brandon: Now, I don't know anything about Nonny, Julia, but I assume, because Nonny is an octopus with eight limbs, like she doesn't have to worry about difficult terrain, so—
Julia: I simply couldn't tell you whether or not an octopus has to deal with difficult terrain.
Amanda: She's quite dexterous. You know what? The other day, I was thinking to myself, "Why do I always say that octopuses have eight legs?" Like, is this one of those things where it's like a misnomer and they actually don't have eight? I'm like, "Is that spiders?" And I just remembered, "Oh, it's— the name is literally Octo. That's why."
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Aright, folks, I just rolled 10 times. I rolled dexterity checks plus 2, 10 times.
Julia: And how'd you do?
Eric: And 8 of them have fallen prone.
Julia: Excellent.
Eric: There are 9 guards.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: They go—
Eric (as Guard): Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Let me, real quick, roll a D 100 to see if I die from laughing.
Eric: Sure, sure, sure.
Amanda: And Brandon, if you could excerpt that as a text tone, I think that would be great.
Brandon: Guys?
Amanda: Brandon.
Brandon: I know this is a joke, but I did roll a zero.
Julia: No. Double zero?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Wait, Brandon, that's not funny. How do we resolve this?
Brandon: Obviously, it doesn't— I was just making a joke. It's not—
Julia: Oh, no.
Eric: I don't know, buddy. I don't know, buddy, if dice are rolled.
Brandon: I am not asleep, it doesn't count.
Amanda: You are not waking up from death's eternal slumber, that's true. There were 99 other numbers, Brandon.
Julia: Brandon, literally, there's 99 other numbers. What the fuck? He's never gonna roll it again now.
Brandon: Nope.
Amanda: Hopefully.
Julia: Well, actually, no, that's not true. You're— you can't beat those allegations.
Brandon: Julia, I've only ever rolled a Nat 1 once, so Eric, you can't punish me for this. It was a yoke and I'm not asleep.
Eric: Am I punishing you or the dice punishing you? Am I but God's humble servant? When God asks all of his all— of her creatures to sing—
Amanda: Thank you.
Eric: —are dice not a part of the eternal chorus?
Brandon: But in this universe, Eric, you are god, and you are the god, have mercy. Unlike the real god. Got him.
Eric: I'm really shook right now.
Julia: I don't know what to do.
Eric: I don't know what to do.
Brandon: There’s nothing to do, it’s a yoke.
Amanda: 56—
Eric: Yeah, says you, the god— says you.
Julia: Amanda's just muttering under her breath, and I need to know what she's doing.
Eric: Yeah. What are you looking for?
Amanda: Okay. I was gonna say, if this falls on Yom Kippur, Brandon must die. However, it is the week before Yom Kippur, so I think that Umbi still has—
Julia: Oh, the luckiest bastard in the world.
Amanda: —some means to make sure his name is inscribed in the Book of Life and not in the Book of Death.
Eric: Okay, here's what I'm gonna say now. You— when you wake up in the morning, when Umbi wakes up in the morning, you're going to roll five times.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Because as we've already established, the reaper is on Umbi's shoulder.
Julia: I meant it as a joke earlier, too.
Amanda: Well—
Eric: And I think that maybe this laughter has her— has really pushed Umbi's heart to the brink.
Julia: To his limits.
Brandon: Oh, that's what you could do. I had a small cardiac event that I didn't notice.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Eric: So I think that I'm gonna say you're gonna have to roll times five times than you would before.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And every time we remember this, you're gonna roll five.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Okay?
Brandon: That's fair. That's fair. I like it.
Eric: Great.
Brandon: Yeah. Five times, one for each ventricle that Umbi has in his heart.
Eric: Right, exactly.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: Oh, God.
Julia: I don't know.
Brandon: He has one extra for good luck.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: You're not gonna have to roll five times forever, but you're gonna have to roll five times for the next time that you wake up.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Oh, Umbus.
Amanda: That's very fair.
Eric: Fair?
Amanda: Oh, Umbus.
Brandon: I mean, is it fair to get punished for a yoke? Who can say?
Amanda: Well, Brandon, the only reason you do this—
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: —is because I insisted on it as a joke, and so therefore, um—
Eric: Once again, it is not me punishing you. You decided to play fast and loose with the game of— with a game of chance. And who is punishing?
Amanda: I don't know.
Brandon: I don't know, Eric. Who can say?
Eric: It's not me.
Brandon: I don't know.
Eric: It's not me.
Amanda: Brandon is putting his life on the line for the content, and I think you all owe him a Patreon subscription in exchange.
Julia: His life is on the line.
Brandon: Happy Pride, baby.
Eric: Alright. I'm gonna go back to this. Okay. The guards have walked in. 8 out of 10 of them have slipped and beefed it, and they're all prone, right?
Julia: An old man is having a cardiac episode in the middle of a very sticky floor.
Eric: Umbi laughs and he feels a pain in his chest, and ignores it.
Brandon: Do you still have Senior Copernicus Cobb on the ready, Julia?
Julia: Captain Copernicus Cobb can be ready and available, but you should make your own goddamn character, son.
Amanda: Brandon, at this point, you should play Tessie the storm.
Brandon: My least favorite character in all of this campaign?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Wow.
Amanda: That's why it'd be funny.
Brandon: Hmm. I want to play Orlando, that kid.
Eric: Orlando, the kid?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. I think Brandon should be— go from the oldest character alive to a spunky child.
Amanda: That's— you're right.
Eric: Umbi, what is your AC?
Brandon: 14.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Julia, don't spoil Campaign Four.
Amanda: Brandon, I know you have a monitor there, but it looks like you're looking out your window to consult the crows every time you look at your second monitor.
Eric: You know, you really do.
Amanda: And that is my headcanon, just so you're aware.
Eric: Alright. I need a roll eight atta— I have to roll 10 attack rolls.
Julia: 8 attacks?
Eric: I have to roll 10 attack rolls and 8 of them are disadvantage.
Brandon: I mean, while Umbi's going like this—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yatatarat, tata. Yatatarat, tata.
Eric: Alright. Fail. [dice roll]
Amanda: Folks don't ignore chest pain. Look up the symptoms of chest pain in the body that you were assigned at birth because they differ.
Brandon: Yeah, they do. Hence, a lot of people who are assigned female at birth don't get the help they need quick enough, because they don't know they're having an event.
Amanda: That's right.
Eric: [dice roll]
Brandon: My favorite thing is the other side of this coin of the potion, the oil slipperiness is that you— it's freedom of movement, which means you, like, you don't have disadvantage on difficult terrain, which is cool.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: But you have to, like, oil up yourself.
Julia: You have to oil yourself.
Brandon: This is really good.
Amanda: It's like a two-part solvent.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Or glue.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Okay. Here's what— okay. Here's what happens. All of the guards who've ran in, and all of them were slipping, all of them pull out these large blasters. It has a— kind of a cup at the end and all of them go, " [gun cocks] And from the gra— two of them who are still holding themselves up against, like, the advertisements for pirate-themed soda, and the eight of them on the floor—
Brandon: Eric, real quick, what's a pirate-themed soda that they have at this store?
Eric: It's called—
Brandon: Orange sliced?
Eric: That's pretty good.
Brandon: Oh, root beer already works.
Eric: Peg— it's just root beer. It's root beer.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Root Beer, you can buy it with Amber. Root beer. They all pull out their blasters and they go [blaster fire] and there are 10 nets being shot at Umbi.
Brandon: Holy shit.
Eric: Now, here's what happened. I had three successes and seven fails. However, two of those fails were Nat 1s. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna use the NAT 1 fails to pull from the successes. So nine of are going fly— these nets are flying everywhere, hitting everything, and, like, grabbing them like the slushy machine.
Brandon: Oh, this is good.
Eric: The convenience store old man, the cash register, the security camera, all of these— not all of these are being snatched up by nets shot out of net blasters, except for one that wraps around Umbi and hooks into you.
Brandon: So let me get this straight real quick, Eric.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: I lubed the floor.
Eric: Uh-huh.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: They took out their guns.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: And shot a net at Umbi.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: That's what happened.
Eric: Do you not like— you didn't like that?
Brandon: No, this just sounds extremely sexual.
Julia: There's also— they have leather whips for some reason. Weird.
Eric: Please take 6 points of damage as hooks in the net dig into you.
Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: But Eric, it's Tuesday at the restaurant, we all took shots before service.
Julia: As we fucking should.
Eric: Brandon, when it comes back around to you, I will tell you what's going on, what kind of conditions are upon you because of the net.
Brandon: Okay, cool.
Julia: I wouldn't worry about it.
Eric: It is now the guards in the convenience store's turn. The initial guy is gonna get up from prone and try to get this nasty stuff off of him. The guy who opened the soda is gonna come over— is gonna use his move— his action to come over to Umbi and hook his arm into the net to try to pick Umbi up. We're gonna do a strength check, because this is like a grapple, but you have disadvantage because you are in a net.
Brandon: Is this saving throw or just a straight up contest?
Eric: This— it's a contest. You can use athletic stuff, but you have disadvantage.
Brandon: Thank you. Okay. [dice roll] Root beard is a good name for an int.
Eric: That's good.
Julia: That's true.
Brandon: Okay. I got a 12 and a 9 plus 4, so 13 total.
Eric: I got 14, buddy. I'm sorry.
Brandon: Oh!
Eric: Sorry. The guy who's holding a cup of Sprite, picks it up, and kind of hooks his arm into the net and picks you up. While the other guy is gonna say—
Brandon (as Umbi): Mommy, dinner first.
Eric (as Guards): See this is what ha— even when you go in and get snacks, if you don't do the protocols, then the protocols are gonna bite you back, we learned that.
Brandon (as Umbi): What are the protocols?
Eric (as Guards): We learned that at secret training. And now I'm gonna start the protocols. I'm gonna look around to see if anyone else is in here.
Brandon (as Umbi): What— do you have, like, an acronym for this or—
Eric (as Guards): I'm not telling you the protocol acronym. You're all wanted. I'm gonna get so much Amber for this. It's gonna go into my commissary account.
Julia: Well, we know that it starts with an L, because it's look around.
Brandon: Or if it's protocol, it's like peep the area.
Julia: Peep that area.
Brandon: Reconnaissance again.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Oops, did you double check?
Eric: I was looking— I needed at least a 20 to see an invisible person like Cammie with just an investigation check is what I put in my head. But I didn't realize until later that the intelligent and wisdom of these folks are negative 1. So I— it was truly—
Julia: We did it.
Eric: —impossible because I didn't roll a Nat 20. They don't see Cammie.
Eric (as Guards): Let's help— I gotta help these people up. It's all fine. This is a normal occurrence. That's totally chill.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's super not fine. I'm being arrested for no reason.
Eric (as Guards): Don't worry, regular folks, family of six, you're fine. Okay. Where's the convenience store owner? Okay, we gotta take— you know— oh, he's wrapped up? Ah, we can— we're fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Okay.
Julia: When they missed, they hit the convenience store owner?
Eric: They did, yes, they did.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): This is ageism. They only netted the old people.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, everybody, it's Amanda. I'm gonna cut to the chase here. This is not a normal midroll, people, not a normal mid roll, because we have cool shit to announce right now. Okay? Let's get it started. Number one, we collaborated with Dispel Dice, creators of some of the most high-quality and gorgeous dice in the world, to create Campaign Three dice, and they're available for you to preorder right now. Now, Dispel is one of the best dice makers. Whenever they have new drops, we hosts just, like, send each other the images like, "Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Am I gonna get more dice? Oh, no." And so we wanted to bring you nothing but the best for these plant pirate dice, and that is what we have done with Dispel. So these dice are crystal blue, like the waters of Verda Stello. They have gorgeous flowers and treasure and parrots on them. That's right, maybe a little eye winking at you from the deep. We spent months working on them, making them exactly right. And so now you get to preorder them so we can make the correct amount at jointhepartypod.com/dice. Now, the reason for the preorder is it lets us order exactly the number that we sell, right? So these are going to be limited edition dice, people. If you want them, make sure you preorder them. I'm going to tell you again and again, but once they're made and going out to your homes in March of next year, there will be very few sets left. This is the way we want to treat merch going forward, where we make extremely cool, high-quality, limited edition items that we make with partners we shop at and admire like Dispel. And preorders are a big part of that. So if you supported us by buying an in-person or virtual ticket to the Rolling Bones Tour, check your inboxes now for your discount code as promised. And if you are here to preorder dice, do it now, jointhepartypod.com/dice. We still get messages from folks who missed out on the Chad Dice, so don't let that be you. Preorder your plant pirate dice today, jointhepartypod.com/dice. Also, extremely cool news, we are finalists for our first ever podcast awards. These are the Signal Awards, and we need your help to win a People's Signal Award in the category of gaming and actual play. So these are podcasting's premier awards dedicated to recognizing the podcasts that define culture, and they think one of those might be us. So between now and October 17th, we need your help to cinch that award. You can vote at signalaward.com, and put Multitude in that search bar, or just click the link right in the description. Then when you're done, you can vote for Pale Blue Pod for the science category and Spirits for paranormal and horror. It turns out these judges are picking up what we're putting down, and we love it. So help us win the People's Signal award, go to vote.signal award.com, and just put Multitude right in that search bar so you can find all three shows. Oh, my God, I'm a little out of breath because I'm so excited about this stuff. And you know who helped us do all of this? Helped us spend months making exactly the right dice and made a show that people care enough about that the Signal Awards were like, "Wow, maybe it's you."? Our newest patrons, Tom John, Rebecca, and big thanks to Gus who upgraded tiers. And hey patrons, by the way, we're going to be dropping a special video for all of you tomorrow to celebrate the dice release. So all patrons at all levels get to enjoy, I'm going to spoil it right now, it's a 30-minute tour of all of our dice. We filmed it in person on the Rolling Bones Tour, because we've been planning this shit for months. Oh, we're so excited. If you would like to join the fun and celebrate all of your dice preorders with us on the Discord, you got to join Patreon at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. And finally, it has been a wonderful week of podcasts over at Multitude. It's getting chillier here in the Northern Hemisphere, maybe you're, you know, cozying up with the book. Maybe you're doing, you know, more walks outside, because like me, you hate it when it's hot out, and you need something to listen to and keep you company, but you ran out of Join the Party. I have to recommend you instead check out Big Game Hunger. This is a weekly comedy show where Jenna Stoeber and friends craft the next big video game every episode. They start with a randomly generated genre concept and vibe, and then Jenna and a variety of funny and game-obsessed guests take those ideas to the Nth degree, perhaps too far. Who can say? It's incredibly funny. I love listening to Big Game Hunger. It always makes me smile and teaches me a bit about the game industry as well. So check out Big Game Hunger in your podcast app. New episodes every Monday. Alright, folks, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: It is now Cammie's turn—
Amanda: Great.
Eric: —with a initiative of 8.
Julia: Cool. I was pretty close to Umbi, right?
Eric: Yeah, you guys were standing next to each other.
Julia: Good. I'm gonna telepathically tell Nonny to go back to the ship.
Eric: And Nonny just does that.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Nonny, still invisible, just walks back to the ship. I'm gonna do a perception check for Nonny as she goes back to the ship.
Julia: Her perception is pretty good.
Eric: What is it?
Julia: Her perception's plus 2.
Eric: Oh, okay, I rolled a 3, so it's a 5.
Julia: Oh. Well—
Eric: Everything's fine.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Nonny— as Nonny's making her way, got a boop, boop, boop, boop.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, oh, and Nonny—
Julia: This is telepathically.
Julia (as Cammie): —Tell Troy hot exit. Get— just leave, start leaving now.
Eric: [Nonny answers] Yes, that sounds great. It's still your turn.
Amanda: Oh, beautiful.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: And I'm gonna touch Umbi on his little shoulder.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: His old man shoulder.
Brandon (as Umbi): Wee.
Julia: And I'm gonna cast dimension door.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia: And we're out of there, bitch.
Eric: Yeah. Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: Remind the listeners at home what dimension door be.
Julia: Of course. You teleport yourself from your current location to any other spot within range, which is 500 feet. You arrive at exactly the spot desired. It can be a place you can see, one you can visualize, or one you can describe by stating distance and direction. You can also bring one willing creature of your size or smaller, who is carrying gear up to its carrying capacity. That creature must be within five feet of you when you cast the spell.
Eric: I love it. Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): I am willing. Take me, Cammie.
Eric: Here's what I want you to do, please— because you can see out— I'm gonna say you can see out the windows of the convenience store.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And you can see the ship. I want you to make a perception check.
Julia: Dear God.
Eric: I like how this spell is written, surprisingly, because I like how it can be a place you can see when you can visualize, or when you can describe by standing distance and direction. Almost like this is preferably— well, the thing— you know, like, if you were an airplane pilot, it's like, "Alright. These are the conditions that make it easier and easier as possible." So you're gonna want to do the visualizing one first.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: A game mechan— sometimes game mechanics tell a story, even if you don't do it intentionally, because you're not really that intentional—
Julia: There you go.
Eric: —people who write Dungeons and Dragons. So I want you to make a perception check as you look to see what's going on on the ship.
Julia: That's gonna be a 19 plus 3 for a 22.
Eric: Alright, here's something confusing, Cammie. Because when you look at the ship, what you see is the convenience store reflected back at you. The ship is still there, but when you're like, "I want to go on the deck of the ship."
Julia: No, I was going to do in one of the cabins, because then they're not gonna immediately spot us and go—
Julia (as Cammie): There's those people we wanted.
Eric: Sure. Okay, fine. Still, still. But still, you look over and you see that it's being reflected back at you.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: It's like— someone has put up, like, some sort of mirroring, a mirror spell, or literally a mirror to make it difficult for you to see what's going on on the deck.
Julia: Okay. I think Cammie's still gonna try to use the spell.
Eric: No, you can still do dimension door.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: It's just that—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: This is just something that's going on on the deck.
Julia: Interesting.
Amanda: That's fun. Maybe Gloria's hammer is making it hard to see us.
Julia: Oh, maybe.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: Well, I'm gonna picture the captain's cabin on the Sea Whip.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And dimension door us there.
Eric: Okay. So then swirl of steam?
Julia: I like to think of it as a nightcrawler bamph of golden hour tea steam.
Eric: Hmm. I like it.
Julia: It smells like matcha.
Brandon: Oh, delicious.
Eric: As you bamph into the captain's quarters, I think you land on top of a bunch of stuff you keep in there for storage.
Julia (as Cammie): Ow.
Eric: And Umbi certainly does, because Umbi is still wrapped up in that net.
Julia (as Cammie): You good?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I'm fine. Ain't my first time in a net.
Julia (as Cammie): You're not all slippery and lubed up still, right?
Brandon (as Umbi): No, I didn't touch it. Thank God. Not for now.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, good.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, yeah. All good.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright. Well, we'll go with Troy now that we're here.
Amanda: Is Nonny coming back to talk to Troy?
Julia: Yes. I think I sent Nonny back to talk to Troy. Nonny also comes out of invisibility once I come out of invisibility, which happened when I cast my spell.
Eric: Got it. So, yeah, Nonny's walking up. It's taking her little legs take a little longer for her to get there, and she's hopping up on the ship. And that's as far as her distance goes.
Amanda: But does she communicate to me hot exit?
Eric: Nope.
Julia: Nonny. Nonny. Oh, Nonny.
Brandon: We could just yell, it's a free action, right?
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, we're down here. We gotta go. We gotta leave right now.
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's go.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah. No, for sure. Harold, Sil, like we practiced. Hot exit.
Amanda: And Troy's gonna jump up to the wheel, trying to look nonchalant, trying to be like, "Alright, well, cops are here. I'm gonna go." And starts untying the mooring lines.
Eric (as Harold): Hot exit. Let's go. Hot exit.
Eric (as Sil): I'm— you're gonna have to do without me. I'm still in this barrel.
Eric: And Sil is just kinda like bubbling up in this barrel.
Eric (as Sil): I'm indisposed at the moment.
Amanda (as Troy): You did a great job, bud. Gloria, could you keep an eye out?
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, we're leaving.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, we're out. Hot exit.
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, did you get me my snacks?
Amanda (as Troy): We'll see. Worst case, I got some stuff in my cabin and I can share.
Eric (as Gloria): I wanted— Umbi said he was gonna get me the weirdest jerky in the land.
Amanda (as Troy): You know, I bet he did, if he is here.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm here. I don't remember if I said that. Did I say that? I might have eaten it.
Eric: Alright.
Brandon (as Umbi): Whoops.
Amanda (as Troy): Gloria, I'll get you whatever you want at the Mango Crossing.
Amanda: As Troy is, like, backing up like a mom out of a elementary school drop-off.
Eric: Gloria pulls her very classy older woman sundress on, and she says—
Eric (as Gloria): Wait a second.
Eric: She picks up her hammer, and she pulls it back like a baseball bat, and she swings just kind of into what looks like nothingness. And then you hear the shattering of glass as a panel of mirror—
Brandon: What?
Eric: —shatters, and you can see all of the commotion/ Troy, you can now through this little, this like, I think, one foot kind of, like, looking through a fence.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You can now see what's happening behind it, all of the commotion going on in the— because you could hear it far away before.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: But now you can hear— now it's louder, and you can see everything happening. All of these guards slipping all over each other, and now two guards yelling at each other while one is holding a very, very large cup of Sprite.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, oh, it's a hot, hot exit.
Julia (as Cammie): Hot exit.
Amanda (as Troy): Sil, was that you?
Eric: The barrels falling over and just this moss sludge is coming out with eyes, be like—
Eric (as Sil): Was it what? What?
Amanda (as Troy): That panel of invisible, whatever. Gloria, what was that?
Eric (as Gloria): That wasn't me, and I don't like it.
Eric: And she swings again, breaks another one.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you, Gloria. Keep going.
Eric (as Gloria): I'm working on it.
Amanda: And, yeah, Troy is whatever mechanically we want to do, but he's using his whole action to dash out of there.
Eric: To dash to—
Amanda: Dash the ship.
Eric: Oh, to dash the ship. Yeah, no, hot exit is going. Hot exit is going.
Amanda: Alright. And then Troy's gonna, like, kind of yell, like, behind him down the stairwell.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh, folks, there's some kind of, like, mirror situation that Gloria has beaten up, that made it difficult for me to see what was going on there, but we're going.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): Does it look magic?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay. I'll come up and look at it.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. Just, like, stay low. Stay low.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric: I like this— that, like, we're seeing it from different perspectives. Like when a mom is yelling up to her kids, that breakfast is ready.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Seeing like Troy out the door, leading to the deck and you guys blow, and then Troy yelling through the door down below decks.
Julia: Yeah, while Cammie tries to help Umbi out of the net.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's— there's just— it's just rope everywhere, man.
Julia (as Cammie): What— I— it's just— huh.
Eric: Harold does a proper J turn out of the parking lot of the convenience store, the only one that you'll need outside of Mango Crossing. But while that happens, you feel, "Brrr, brrrrr," as a large and slow wave moves all of the ships around, bobs them up and bobs them down.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, real quick, change the light to orange light. Do it quickly.
Amanda (as Troy): Harold?
Brandon (as Umbi): Harold, can you be like a gel pack and just turn orange?
Eric (as Harold): Alright, warm light mode. I got it, warm lights.
Amanda: Troy is a little bit panicking. Folks, he's gonna take the other handful of sawdust out of his cargo pants and throw it toward the front of the ship where Gloria is breaking mirrors to try to help illuminate whatever barrier remains.
Eric: Very good. Interesting, interesting.
Brandon: Smart.
Eric: Alright. I'm gonna think of a number, because there's a lot of stuff happening right now. So we're gonna try to smoosh it all together into AC, right? So I'm gonna say that this is an attack roll.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And you've done this before because— so I'll give you proficiency. But I'm thinking of an AC of a hidden target who wants to stay hidden. So I'm gonna say I'm looking for a 19.
Brandon: Now, I know it's not Cammie's turn, but you know what shows up on mirrors, Cammie? Steam.
Julia: Steam.
Amanda: It's also true.
Eric: Vampires.
Julia: I also have a couple of different hexes that might be able to help with this.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: If we're allowed some shenanigans.
Amanda: So with proficiency, I add plus 9 to this roll.
Brandon: Whoa.
Amanda: So I need to roll a 10 or go higher.
Julia: Let's go.
Brandon: Let's roll, girls.
Julia: Let's go, Troy.
Amanda: I rolled, Eric, a 9.
Eric: Looking for an 8— you got an 18, looking for a 19. Troy, you—
Julia: Can Nonny give a help action since she's there?
Eric: Absolutely not—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: —Julia. No.
Julia: Fair, fair. Fair.
Eric: Troy, you throw the sawdust forward and it gets caught up in the surf as Harold is making the J-turn, the fastest pulling out of a parking spot you've ever seen, especially as the ship bobs up and everything is just all— everything is all out of sorts. Finally, in the initiative, it is the convenience store guy who's currently wrapped up in a net.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: So— and the convenience store guy who was stuck to the wall and then unsticks and falls on the ground.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: Having a rough time.
Amanda: I'm sure he has insurance, but damn.
Brandon: He just gets a broom, starts sweeping, he's like, "Another Tuesday."
Eric (as Harold): Wait, that's a lot of stuff on the ground. Better get them up. That's gross. That's gross. That's right. No snacks in here. One, change your light colors, two, no snacks. Because you're buying snacks here. Don't open it here. It just makes more mess for me.
Amanda: Fair.
Eric: And now we are out of initiative as Harold is pulling away from the convenience store.
Brandon: Oh, I'm gonna rush up to—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: —the top of the deck to—
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —hang out with Troy and everyone.
Eric: Gloria continues to smash the mirrors. Gloria is working on them. Seems like there's about 12 of them that, like, fence posts were shot into the deck and were reflecting back to you.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Kind of like they were pushed up against each other, but they were on a little bit of an angle, so it wasn't reflecting back at you. It was reflecting like a calm part of what you were looking at.
Brandon: Gotcha.
Amanda (as Troy): Gloria, have you seen that before?
Eric (as Gloria): I've seen trickery.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-huh.
Eric (as Gloria): But this is some good stuff. This is some high-tech, low-tech kind of combination. This is an old trick of making someone think they're seeing something that's not— making them think that they're seeing calm when they're not, but I— I've never seen such— I've never seen it happen so quickly.
Amanda (as Troy): So you think someone put it there when we were parked?
Eric (as Gloria): Yes. I do.
Brandon: Can I roll an Arcana check to see if I know anything about this style—
Julia: I'd also like to do that.
Eric: Yeah, do it.
Brandon: —style of magic?
Eric: And I'll— so you're running up?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Cool. You're running up on deck. Havana Tropicana also there with a first aid kit.
Eric (as Havana): Umbi, I need you to stay still so I can pull the hooks out of you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh, okay. I'm kind of fine. I've only— I only lost like one point of damage still.
Eric (as Havana): You still— I— you're gonna be netted up, and it's gonna be infect— infected.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I don't want to get infected. You're right. Yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Havana): It's gonna spread through your entire body, and your body will have infection.
Brandon (as Umbi): Start with the butt, it's the most precious part.
Eric (as Havana): I will not. Stop moving.
Julia: I rolled a 13 plus 7 Arcana for a Dirty 20.
Eric: Dirty 20.
Brandon: Well, Julia, you can get the fuck out, because I rolled a 16 plus 10 for a 26.
Julia: Well, I'll go fuck myself, then, I guess, Brandon.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Alright. So Cammie goes fu— and fucks herself. So let's resolve that first.
Amanda: On a Tuesday, damn.
Eric: 26. So this is really interesting, because Umbi you find on the ground that there is like a used casing. It's almost like a daisy with all of its pedals pulled off.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And that's where it launched out of. So it's like this mechanism, you could roll— you— it's almost like your bomb, like you roll— you can kind of place it or you roll it forward. And they popped out and arranged themselves while Troy and Gloria weren't paying attention, arranged themselves around them.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Huh.
Eric: The other thing— it's pretty much just a— it's just a mirror. It's not magical in any sort of way. It's just— it's pretty high-tech to take something to put it into such a small package and then have it come out and unfurl, because, again, they're tall. They're about one-foot wide, but they have to be tall enough that Troy can't see over them.
Brandon: It's like a solar cell.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: And also, the other thing about it is that they stuck into the deck pretty deftly. There's, like, a little divot, but only if you were looking for it, would you even understand that this is what it is. This would be regular wood wear and tear.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: No different than, like, hard scuffing a boot on a deck. That's the kind of deep imprint it leaves in the— it left in the wood of the deck.
Brandon (as Umbi): Gloria, look, I found the case. You— you can— you check it out, if you wanna.
Eric (as Gloria): Hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): You seem to be the most adept here at mechanical things.
Eric (as Gloria): Well, I could che— I could look at it. It's a little high—it's a little evolution— it's a little bit farther evolved than what I looked at, but this is pretty nifty.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cool. Here you go.
Eric (as Gloria): Hmm. Yeah, it's not something I usually work with. You know, I usually make things for people who want to be seen with things that they have and want to be seen doing the things that they do. This person does not want to be seen.
Julia (as Cammie): Hmm. I feel like we know someone who was doing a lot of sniping from a distance and not wanting to be seen and—
Brandon (as Umbi): Is it your fucking friend Threelips again?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, shit.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy.
Brandon (as Umbi): I thought he was dead.
Julia (as Cammie): I thought we killed him.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm sorry.
Eric: In the sky, we see the replay of Archie with his long range gun during the pirate meeting just shoo-- go, [explosion] blow up the lighthouse. Threelips with the bandage over his face falling into the water and splooshing.
Julia (as Cammie): I swear he died.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can I— could— I thought— I didn't think people could survive that fall, and also a Greenfolk can swim very good.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. But before that, um, big, old waves happening, do we need to kind of shape water ourselves out of here?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah, probably.
Julia (as Cammie): No. I think it's just that the big boy, the big mama.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah, I learned about the tortangos. And as long as we do not touch and we use warm orange light, we should be good.
Julia: Cammie grabs Troy's face.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, there are very cute puppies where we're going.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, my God.
Julia (as Cammie): You cannot touch them.
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Julia (as Cammie): Or else you'll die.
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Brandon (as Umbi): And we will, too.
Julia (as Cammie): And it'll kill all of us, too.
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Julia (as Cammie): So even if you think it's a necessary sacrifice in order to touch the puppy, remember, it'll also kill your friends.
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Eric: Troy, where's your pumpy?
Amanda: In my BabyBjorn, attached to me.
Eric: At all times?
Amanda: Yeah, when I'm on the ship.
Julia: Are you sure about that?
Eric: [dice roll] Okay. I rolled a Natural 20, so you're right.
Amanda: Yeah. Little ears flapping in the breeze. Loves it when daddy's driving.
Brandon: Eric's trying to think of think of a way to ruin our day.
Amanda: For content.
Eric: Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're right. Yeah.
Julia: Eric ruin our lives for content.
Eric: Alright, folks. Well, it seemed— unless there's anything else you want to look at it with the mirrors, it sounds like we can move on.
Brandon: That's so ominous.
Julia: Can we, like, figure out based on the scuffs on the deck, what direction they came from?
Eric: From looking at where the casing was on the ground, where Umbi found it, it was like behind where Gloria had set up her chair, her sun tanning chair.
Julia: While we're sailing, can I search the ship?
Eric: Sure. You wanna search the ship?
Julia: I would love to search the ship.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Oh, is this piece of shit on our ship?
Eric: Tell me where you search. Tell me the order of the rooms you look in.
Julia: I feel like we should be methodical.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: So I think that Cammie is going to recruit Umbi to help, and they're gonna start on opposite sides of the ship and then meet in the middle.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: I like it.
Eric: Interesting.
Brandon: Smart, smart.
Eric: Smart.
Amanda: Not the urban legend where there's someone in the backseat.
Julia: I know my urban legends.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: Yeah. There's a Japanese schoolgirl who has her entire mouth slit open waiting for you in the back of the cab.
Julia: It's just— it's real, you know, babysitter keeps getting phone calls from inside the house.
Amanda: Uh-huh. Yep.
Eric: Sure. Alright, Cammie and Umbi, why don't you tell me where you each start?
Julia (as Cammie): I'll start in the front, the cabins.
Eric: Okay. Start at the cabins.
Julia (as Cammie): And then Umbi, you start in the back, and then we'll meet in the middle.
Julia: I don't know the exact layout of our ship.
Eric: No, that's fine. You want to start one side, and Umbi wants to start in the other side?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I think instead of left to right, you start, like, front to aft.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Yes, that's what I was thinking, front to aft.
Brandon: Should we— how many stories do we have, Eric, on the ship? Just two?
Eric: There's three, technically.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: There's the deck and up.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: There's the main part, which is where it have all your cabins, which is where Umbi has his lab, when also the kitchen and the captain's quarters are in there. All the way at the bottom is the hold.
Brandon: Got it.
Julia: Okay. So then I would like to do that on each level, starting at the top, working our way down.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: So they can't leave?
Brandon: Well, do you want to employ our animal friends?
Julia: Yes, I think we should definitely use the alert system that is Bartlett.
Brandon: And while Nonny and Bartlett can go on one floor towards each other, you and me can go on one floor towards each other?
Julia : I think I just want to make sure that— let's put the animals on the, like, staircases.
Brandon: Oh, smart. Smart.
Julia: So that if anyone slips past us from a—
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: —different floor, we can see that.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: That's like— that's good. I like that.
Julia: Watch what happens, like, this has nothing to do with it. We're being so methodical about this.
Amanda: I don't know.
Julia: And I was just like, "No one else is on the ship."
Amanda: We didn't check for guards before getting jerkies, so—
Julia: Alright, that's our game plan, if that makes sense.
Eric: I like it. No, I like it. I like it. Okay.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So you can— you're gonna put your animals on the stairs.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Each one.
Julia: One on each staircase.
Eric: One in each staircase.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Havana says—
Eric (as Havana): Well, I don't know if you need a doctor's eye. I can be of assistance.
Julia (as Cammie): Havana, I want you to—
Eric (as Havana): Surgical is the adjective associated with my profession.
Julia (as Cammie): You are so surgical. I want you to just do some loops around the deck. Keep an eye on the sides of the ship and make sure that no one's crawling on it like a spooky barnacle.
Brandon (as Umbi): Don't take it personally, Havana. Men aren't very good at doing surgical looking for things, you know?
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, we're past that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hey, I'm a man, too. I was just saying we're not that good at it.
Eric: Oh, every time. Okay. I'm gonna think about how to do this.
Brandon: If it's helpful, Eric, I'm gonna take one of the spikes that was in my ass and hold it like a shank.
Eric: Are you still— you're gonna hold the net?
Brandon: No, just the— just this little spike thing.
Amanda: Just the spike?
Brandon: It's just like a shake, ready to shift someone.
Eric: In my head, they're like— there were, like, fishing hooks that were stuck into you.
Brandon: Yeah, exactly.
Eric: So you're brandishing a fishing hook?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Okay. You ripped off the net.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: This is so funny. I spent so much time figuring out how a net gun works and how I could use nets.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Okay. Cammie will get started, I guess—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: —in her own— in her room, and you'll make— you go through the cabins. And then Umbi, you'll start in the captain's quarters and kind of make your way through more— some of the regular rooms in a ship. I know we haven't described it, but it's like, imagine you're on the Starship Enterprise, and, like, you know, you have— you need to have some regular rooms in there?
Brandon: Yeah, of course.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So I think Umbi is gonna make— is, like, you have the captain's quarters, and then, like, the galley, and then the— some hallways and the hangou— and the hangout spot and some other stuff like that.
Brandon: One of the rooms is where we keep our PlayStation 5.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: For sure.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Threelips is gonna take my pumpy hostage?
Brandon: Why would you put that in the universe, Amanda?
Julia: Why would you even, like, allow Eric to think about that?
Amanda: Well, he asked me if the pumpy was with me for a reason.
Eric: Did I?
Brandon: That's true.
Eric: Okay. So I made a list of all the rooms for you.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: And some of them are like half rooms, like all of the cabins that each of you sleep in, I feel like are small, but still are distinct places. So, like, Cammie, Umbi, Troy, Havana, it's all sleeping quarters.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I feel like Gloria is new, so you'll have to fit her in somewhere. And Harold and Sil sleep somewhere else. Then there's the hallway, somewhere in the general space, the kitchen where you cook stuff, the eating— there's probably an eating area. And then there's the captain quarters and then the hold is twice the size— it's one big room, so it's twice the size.
Brandon: Right.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Everything else.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And now—
Amanda: But Eric, where is Dr. McCoy's med bay?
Eric: Thank you. Havana does that stuff in his room.
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: It's sanitized.
Amanda: I'm sure.
Brandon: I'm a doctor, not a man.
Eric: Or Havana probably does it in the kitchen.
Brandon: Ew.
Julia: No, that makes sense.
Eric: And you can sanitize everything really easily, Brandon.
Amanda: It's probably more— more sanitary than it was.
Eric: Would you rather a veterinarian stitch you up or like a line cook in their places of business?
Amanda: Ooh.
Brandon: A veterinarian?
Amanda: Definitely a vet.
Eric: No, kitchen.
Amanda: Definitely a vet.
Eric: There— no way. I do kitchen.
Julia: I don't want anyone in crocs sewing me up.
Amanda: No.
Eric: I disagree.
Amanda: No.
Brandon: Like using a green onion to stitch you up with.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: So cute.
Eric: Okay. So the order, I kind of did it from side to side, like you said.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So Cammie, Umbi Troy, Havana. Havana is closer to the middle.
Amanda: For medical access.
Eric: For medical access. Because Havana keeps his stuff in his room, but goes to the kitchen to do all— any medical stuff. Then the hallway, kind of— there's like a middle area where also there's some stuff in there, where— you don't want to put it in the hold, so it's like temporary storage that you would put— like you put stuff in your hallway over at your apartment. And it gets in the way, but it is a place to put stuff. Then the kitchen, the eating area, and then the captain's quarters.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And then the hold is below, okay?
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So Cammie, I assume, let's start in your room.
Julia: Yes. Before I do that, though.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: I would like to bring back a new fan favorite spell.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: I would like to cast clue.
Amanda: Yay!
Brandon: Yay!
Julia: Who are you?
Eric: Who are you? Who? Who? Who?
Julia: Who? Who? Who? Who?
Eric: I can't believe Julia Schifini has been on CSI Verda Stello for 24 years.
Julia: That's how I make my money.
Amanda: Her coat just made it into the museum of the costume administration.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Alright. Remind me what clue does.
Julia: So when you cast this spell, all footprints and fingerprints within a 45-foot radius—
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: —of a point you touch become highlighted and glow faintly for the duration.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: At the time of casting, choose any period of time up to the last 10 days to the present. Only footprints and fingerprints left within that time will be highlighted. Each creature whose footprints or fingerprints are detected by the spell is assigned a unique color, but are otherwise not identified.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Any creature that moves or touches objects in the area will also leave colorful footprints and fingerprints, which might reveal invisible creatures in the area.
Eric: Hmm. Interesting.
Brandon: Now, is this only visible to the caster or is it visible to everyone?
Julia: I'm not— it doesn't specify.
Amanda: God. Imagine how stressed Havana will be if you see all the fingerprints on the ship.
Julia: Yeah. It just says, "Becomes highlighted and glows faintly for the duration."
Eric: Alright. That sounds where everybody can see it, yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Alright. Lots of fingerprints, folks. Lots of fingerprints in here.
Julia: How many different unique colors do we see?
Eric: Obviously, there's five that are very common.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Harold and Sil don't have fingerprints.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So it's for your— you three, Havana Tropicana and Gloria.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: How many days?
Julia: You know what? I do get to pick the last 10 days to present.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Do I want to do just within the past 24 hours?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: That's not— my thought was just— so it might be fewer.
Julia: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Eric: No, that's fine. Last 24 hours, then. So then there's also a ton of footprints. There are two sets of footprints that are less frequent than the other ones.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: The first four, you would probably assume are the three of yours and Havana's.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Who have rooms down here. There's a set of footprints that leads towards the hold, and there's a set of footprints that leads towards Havana's room.
Brandon: And they're the same color?
Eric: They are different colors.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Those are the ones that are strange.
Julia: Where have we been putting Gloria to sleep since she got here?
Eric: Gloria's been posted up on the deck. It's easier just to stretch out.
Brandon: Metal.
Julia: Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): So Umbi, you're seeing what I'm seeing?
Brandon: And the camera cuts to Umbi in his room, and he sees that Troy's footprints are in his hammock, and he's like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Goddammit Troy. Yeah, I see them. Thank you.
Julia (as Cammie): No problem. Um, check Havana's room, and then we'll go to the other area, wink, together.
Brandon (as Umbi): Right. Yeah, yeah, totally.
Eric: You said wink out loud. You said wink out loud.
Julia (as Cammie): Wink.
Eric: Yeah. So yeah, there aren't, like, incriminating footprints leading to the captain's quarters, but—
Brandon: Eric, what are incriminating footprints?
Eric: The one— read the things we're talking about.
Julia: Yeah, the ones that aren't our footprints.
Amanda: Like it's a second set following you, and then, unlike that parable with Jesus, you look up, and then there's like an assassin in a tree.
Eric: Yeah, that.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: That.
Julia: That one.
Eric: Yeah, that one.
Amanda: Ominous.
Brandon: Yeah, that one.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Um, great. So yeah, I think I'm just gonna go follow those footprints. What's closer, Havana's room or the hold?
Eric: You can slip down to— the hold is probably closer to you.
Amanda: There's backstairs, right?
Eric: Yeah, there's, like, backstairs down to the hold.
Brandon: Yeah, okay. I'm gonna do that on the way down, I'm gonna give Bartlett a little pet on the head, and say—
Brandon (as Umbi): You're doing great, bud.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: And check out the hold.
Eric: Check out the hold.
Brandon: Like a horror movie, Umbi is gonna walk slowly through the, like, barrels and other cargo in the hold, just like slowly banging his hook.
Eric: The same color of footprint has fingerprints everywhere down here.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Touching so many things, boxes, barrels, pulling sheets off of stuff, touching stuff, whatever.
Brandon: Can I roll an investigation check and just check, like, starting from biggest boxes and areas to hide to smallest?
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Just sort of start checking shit out.
Eric: Love it. Love it. Yeah, give me that investigation check, bud.
Julia: Nat 20.
Eric: Natural 20?
Brandon: Natural 20. I am a god of looking.
Julia: Umbi’s never seen more in his life.
Amanda: Brandon, you literally died on a D 100 roll earlier in this episode.
Eric: Okay. You look around, you poke around, you open, and you go, "Ha!" As you look in barrels, you go, "Ha!" As you pull—
Brandon: Ha!
Eric: —sheets off of things.
Brandon (as Umbi): Are you here?
Eric: You look in all the good spots and all the bad spots. You reveal the— your secret chest of doublooms you keep under there.
Brandon: Eric.
Eric: You pull out the jars of beans that has an amber stash in it. Just kidding. It's where you would keep the amber, if you had any.
Julia: What? Umbi.
Eric: You pull out the binder that has all the pictures of your hot exes.
Brandon (as Umbi): Eric, come on, man. I rolled a Nat 20.
Eric: You look around everywhere, and in all the good spots, you know where all the good hiding spots are, and you know where all the bad ones are. You don't see anyone down here.
Brandon: I don't see them, like visually.
Amanda: Or you don't find anyone.
Eric: You don't find anyone. Also, like, you also follow the footprints around everything. You know, at different parts, these footprints stop in front of these objects.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And you don't find anything. And, like, you move your hand around with the hook and you touch everything.
Brandon: Okay, okay.
Eric: You know what I mean?
Brandon: So with a Nat 20 and what you're saying, I'm— I can be reasonably confident that there's no one in the hold?
Eric: Correct.
Brandon: Okay. I'm gonna yell at— I know I can't do anything else but free action. I'm gonna yell up to Cammie and say—
Brandon (as Umbi): The eagle did not land in the nest down here.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric: It's a code. What does it mean?
Julia (as Cammie): What could it possibly mean? We didn't discuss codes beforehand.
Eric: What could it mean? Oh, no. Even— as the Game Master, I'm so confused by the code. The players are getting one over on me.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Julia: And Cammie's gonna—
Eric: Cammie goes, "Alright."
Julia: I think Cammie's gonna head towards Havana's room.
Brandon: That's what you get for outing Umbi, Eric. A code, you can't break.
Amanda: Unbreakable code.
Eric: Alright. Havana's room, and like all the rooms are quite small. As you open the door, you look around, there's a bed. There's— it's all— everything's kind of packed in a pretty small area. I don't know. It's probably about the size— I'm imagining all these rooms are, like, the size of the studio here. Like, we can't—
Amanda: 9 by 6.
Eric: Thank you. It's a 9— this is a 9 by 6 room. I assume it's smaller than that, a little bit smaller than that, but like, you know, the ceilings are a little higher because you're— you have space.
Julia: Hammocks.
Eric: Uh, Umbi decided to loft his bed in a hammock.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: But, uh, Havana has kind of done the opposite of a lofted bed by keeping like a cot, regular size, but all of his stuff is up high. He has, like, shelves and shelves and shelves of books and medical supplies and other stuff. There's a book of the path that's kind of just like shoved into a corner back there.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Lots of stuff. And he also has a little desk in here. And then there's the bed— both the bed and the desk, under the bed and under the desk, there's some boxes for storage.
Julia: What's the fingerprints, footprint situation in this room?
Eric: You know what? There's not— that's a good question. This— from this color of footprints, there are no fingerprints in this room.
Julia: So this person just kind of wandered into Havana's room?
Eric: And there's like— once inside of Havana's room, there's like footsteps in every— in kind of, like, lots of different directions.
Julia: Like, looking around, perhaps?
Eric: Yeah. Correct.
Julia: Hmm. Can I, like, pull out the chair to the desk and like, look in there or, like, look under the bed and stuff?
Eric: Yeah, of course. Yeah, tell me where you want to look.
Julia: Yeah. I think the— I'll pull out the chair to the desk area—
Eric: Okay.
Julia: —first, I think.
Eric: You pull the chair out.
Julia: I wave my hand around.
Eric: There's nothing under the desk. There's nothing under the desk.
Julia: Great. I'll do the same for under the bed.
Eric: There's no one or nothing under the bed.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Look on top of the desk and the bed.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Just, like, pinwheel your arms.
Julia: Yeah. I go like this, and I look like one of those inflatable armed men outside of the car dealership and I go—
Brandon: You do have lots of branches, yeah.
Eric: On top of the bed?
Julia: Yeah, on top of the bed, on top of the desk.
Eric: On top of the bed, on top of the desk, you don't touch anything.
Amanda: Where is this motherfucker?
Julia: I want to use another first level spell, goddammit.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: I'm gonna cast detect magic.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Yeah, it's possible that he's like in—
Amanda: Stuck the ceiling.
Brandon: —gaseous form or something, you know?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Remind me what detect magic do.
Julia: For the duration, you sense the presence of magic within 30 feet of you. If you sense magic in this way, you can use your action to see a faint aura around any visible creature or object in the area that bears magic, and you learn at school of magic, if any. The spell can penetrate most barriers, but is blocked by one foot of stone, one inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or three feet of wood or dirt.
Eric: Oh, good thing I have my two inches of lead. It's like you're going to the dentist. Oh, God. Okay. Cammie, what does it look like when you cast detect magic?
Julia: Cammie's eyes glow with steam and that's like, you can't see her pupils anymore.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Yeah, that's pretty cool, huh?
Brandon: That's pretty cool.
Eric: Cammie, make an investigation check as you look around the room.
Amanda: Aaah.
Julia: Hmm [dice roll] Okay, okay. 21, 18 plus 3 for a 21.
Eric: Woo, okay.
Brandon: Ooh. I like that does imply— you're right, Eric, that the spell is some sort of harmful radiation.
Eric: Yeah. You know that, like, Gary Gygax was like, "I did go to the dentist." Cammie, you're looking around the room like a— like an X-ray or heat vision, right? You can see through the chests, and you look down, you look under the bed, you look under the desk, there's nothing. And as you look up, there is an outline of a person who is standing pushed up against the wall on the highest shelf with, like, all these potions and beakers, which Havana has all the way up top to catch the light from the little window he has. These shelves are, like, less than— like half a foot wide, and their body is pressed up against it. And what we're gonna do right now is we're gonna do a dexterity check to see who moves first.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: Oh, interesting. I'm not worried.
Amanda: It's thrilling.
Brandon: Kill him. Kill him.
Julia: [dice roll] Rolled a 5.
Eric: It's much higher than that.
Julia: Okay, cool.
Brandon: Julia?
Julia: Yeah, what's up?
Brandon: Why are you so happy?
Julia: Don't worry about it, Brandon.
Eric: The outline of the person jumps down with a dagger out, jumps towards you, Cammie, and then at the last moment, ducks and rolls past you.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: And makes a break out the hallway to the stairs.
Julia: Would you say that this person took a disengage action on me?
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Cool. But I can still see this person, yeah?
Eric: Yeah, you can see their outline.
Brandon: Kill them.
Julia: Yar. Um—
Brandon: Kill them, kill them.
Eric: They're running past you and has enough speed to kind of get down the hallway where Nonny is set up.
Julia: Oh, even better.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Oh, even better, Eric. Can that person make a wisdom saving throw for me?
Eric: Oh, no. What happens? Why?
Julia: Oh, because I'm gonna cast a spell.
Eric: Oh no. [dice roll] That's a 15?
Julia: Oh. My saving throw is a 16 now.
Eric: Oh, fuck.
Julia: This person is going to now be paralyzed for the duration, because what I did was I cast hold person.
Eric: Oh.
Brandon: Yay.
Amanda: Yay.
Julia: And Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Wee, woo, wee, woo.
Eric: Wee, woo, wee, woo.
Amanda: Troy goes—
Amanda (as Troy): Harold, take the wheel!
Julia: And also, Eric, can I have Nonny taken action?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Can Nonny use her octopus ability of ink cloud on the invisible person?
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Oh, so smart.
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon: I'm— Umbi's gonna rush through this area.
Eric: I like the idea that this creature, this invisible creature is, like, held— only Cammie can see this creature just like in heat vision, right? And they're held in a tea post. Their arms are rigid, their legs are rigid.
Julia: And then an octopus just sploots ink all over them.
Eric: And there's a sploots ink all over them.
Amanda: She did sneeze, right, to emit the ink?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: As Troy runs down and Umbi runs up, you can now see this person as well, who is short and angry and upset that she got caught.
Julia: Ah, damn, girl.
Eric (as Di): God, I need to stop underestimating my stupid little brother.
Amanda (as Troy): Ha!
Julia (as Cammie): To be fair, Troy— actually, no, Troy had everything to do with this.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): This was all Troy's idea. He's so smart and strategic and politically savvy.
Amanda: Troy leans his head down and whispers to the pumpy—
Amanda (as Troy): I want you to meet your Auntie Di.
Eric (as Di): Troy, I'm gonna need you to back up and not bring that pumpy any closer, because you don't want to touch it with this.
Eric: In Di's hand, she's holding this dagger. It smells salty and briny and covered with some sort of green inlay, and it is a sharpened string bean. And she says—
Eric (as Di): If your pumpy touches this, you're not gonna have a pumpy anymore. It's just gonna be a pumpkin.
Julia: What?
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
[theme]