The crew of the Sea Whip are surrounded on all sides by plant zombies, secret government agents, and pirates hungry for glory and bloodshed. Can they find and clear a path to the Salmon?
Oh, a fun choice of our fate wouldn't do us any harm / And we'll all hang on behind.
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude Podcasts: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. "The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire." This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a Salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: It's 2025 and here's all you need to know. Umbi drove a decommissioned battleship into the center of a war zone. We got government agents fighting for their lives, zombies fighting for their Rotten Key, and pirates fighting for glory and legend. It's the final arc. Let's get the party started. We zoom out and every one of the zombies, the pirates, and the government agents stop.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Look at the ship and the Rotten Key chuckles and says—
Eric (as Rotten Key): Aye, now it's a fight.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I got all the cannons.
Julia: Cammie as an octopus goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Ow.
Brandon: You can speak this whole time?
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Eric: Brr, brr, brr, brr.
Amanda (as Troy): It's like the ship was a barrel and I was in it.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana):I need everyone to go into your packs and take out your anti-vom medicine. It looks suspiciously like the cyanide capsules I gave all of you. Don't take it.
Julia: Oh, no.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana):Wouldn't be sure to say it.
Brandon (as Umbi): I haven't vomited since 1982.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Oh, well, I can't say the same. Blehhh.
Julia: I don't think an octopus can vomit.
Eric: All right, we just cut out 30 minutes of us figuring out if an octopus can vomit, and now we're gonna start figuring out what's happening here. Folks, I prepared something very special for you.
Amanda: Oh?
Eric: Because we're coming to the end of Join the Party here, I really gotta pull out all the stops.
Julia: You can't say the end of Join the Party.
Amanda: You cannot say the end of Join the Party.
Julia: Not the end of the podcast.
Eric: Oh, ooh, I guess I said that. Ooh. I got you all the present and it's an image on— from— that I made in Canva.
Brandon: Yay.
Julia: Yay.
Brandon: My favorite gift.
Amanda: Oh, I love images in Canva.
Brandon: Ooh, this is fun.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Right now, I've sent you an image—
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: —that's mostly blacked out with lots of different windows upon it. And all you can see in the top left corner is, "Get out of the ship." I think we're gonna run what's happening at the end here, kind of like in Arcade stages. Not exactly Boss Rush, per se, but I think, like, you gotta clear one, and then move on to the next thing and you're gonna have plenty of choices to do that. So we're gonna kind of go stage by stage as this massive land and naval battle is exploding around you between government—
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: —secret government agents, zombie pirates, regular pirates, and yourself battling for the soul of Verda Stello and whatever happens when one of you finally talks to the Salmon.
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's do it, baby.
Julia (as Cammie): Let's go.
Eric: But before we start, I need each of you to write down three adjectives each and send them to me.
Brandon: Just random?
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Random adjectives. You— it can be from your brain. You can do a random adjective generator, whatever you want. It's your choice, but you got— you can only send me three.
Amanda: Now, Brandon.
Brandon: Yep.
Amanda: This is gonna be used against us.
Eric: You don't know that.
Amanda: So—
Eric: Wait, no, you don't know that. Don't listen to my wife. She doesn't even know—
Amanda: Let's make them things like soft, easy, made for Cammie.
Eric: She doesn't even know if an octopus can vomit or not.
Amanda: Cloaca is the answer.
Eric: Cloaca is not an adjective, unfortunately. We cannot use Cloaca.
Amanda: Cloacal is bitch.
Eric: That—
Julia: Cloacal—
Eric: Well, that's a different word, Amanda. My favorite thing about Amanda doing jokes now is that now she marks points for us to do clips. So I know what Amanda thinks that she made a good joke. So for example, she said, "Cloacal, bitch." And then she hit mark.
Julia: Absolutely rich.
Brandon: Truly legendary.
Julia: Fuck.
Amanda: Listen, as someone who laughs at her own jokes the most, this is great for me.
Eric: It was a real, like, using Snapchat and you get the notification that someone screenshot your Snapchat.
Julia: Damn.
Brandon: Now, Eric, I did get erect as one of my random adjectives on this table. Should I—
Amanda: What's an— okay. Adverb, describe to act.
Julia: Are you only sending him adverbs, Amanda?
Amanda: No. I was trying not to send an adverb because my husband has a Master's in English, and if I send him an adverb, that'd be really embarrassing for me.
Brandon: You would get ripped fucking part.
Eric: Ooh, these are interesting. Oh, Brandon sent erect penis three times.
Julia: Sick. I think that's a noun.
Brandon: This looks like a 7.
Eric: I'll let it ride. I'll let it ride.
Julia: Yeah, I think if you put it three times, it becomes a full sentence. You're right, Brandon.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Like the word buffalo.
Brandon: But erect buffalo, erect buffalo, erect buffalo.
Eric: Oh, boy. Okay.
Brandon: I'm sorry that anyone has to listen to this podcast.
Amanda: Listen, you have to edit it, so truly—
Eric: That—
Amanda: —that's your burden to bear.
Eric: That's why I'm ending the show.
Brandon: But in the same way that Amanda does a marker every time she makes a funny joke. I make jokes for me to laugh at myself later.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: And then I did— in my head, I go, "That's definitely staying in."
Eric: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I love it. All right. So we're going around this, like I said, like arcade stages, unless other stuff is happening. You're all gonna get the chance to do stuff, but all of you need to clear the stage. You got to do the thing that you need to do on this stage for you to move on to the next one.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Right?
Brandon: Yep.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: First things first is, "Get out of the ship." The SS Lake Encounter has barrel rolled its way 10 times over the sea. There is still a hole in the ship which a octopus Cammie has been unceremoniously flung out of.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Because of the pre-mentioned barrel rolls.
Julia: I'm very sticky.
Eric: Julia, would you like to make a stickiness check to see the stick in the hole?
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: What is that? A strength check?
Eric: Sure. Make a strength check as an octopus.
Julia: For octopi?
Brandon: Do a barrel roll.
Julia: I get plus three to that. Let's go. Do you want me to roll it 10 times?
Eric: No, just once, please.
Julia: [dice roll] 9.
Eric: Great. Like I said before, unfortunately, Octopus Cammie—
Julia: It's fair. It's fair.
Eric: —has been tossed ceremoniously out of this hole, and it is flooding. Havana Tropicana, Troy, and Umbi are in the engine room, which has another hatch that goes up. And Cammie is still in the Salmon viewing area, which is continuing to flood. And it's probably touching the top of the compartment at this moment. But luckily, she's an octopus, so—
Julia: You can say, not a problem for me.
Eric: Yeah. So first things first, get out of here. What do you do?
Brandon: We go up, I go up. I scramble up to the hatch.
Amanda (as Troy): Back the way we came, I guess.
Amanda: And Troy's gonna heft Havana up first.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): I just— I can't— you can't move me too fast or that I'm going to hrruuu again.
Amanda (as Troy): It's okay, buddy. You got a boot and rally. We got you.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): I'm working— I booted and I'm working on the rallying.
Eric: Unfortunately, Troy, as you push Havana Tropicana up the ladder, the hatch that you opened up has slammed shut.
Amanda: Yeah. Can Troy try to open it?
Eric: How would you like to do that?
Amanda: I would like to use my very strong and aesthetic muscles to try and wrench it open.
Brandon: No, you got to use your non-aesthetic muscles. These are the ones that like— they're not the show-off muscle, but they're the ones that, like, you work on your core and you're like—
Amanda: Brandon, do you think try knows how to lift with his legs?
Brandon: No, no.
Julia: And hence, he's gonna have a bad back eventually.
Amanda: In fact, I would like to make this look like I'm throwing a discus and do just like a feat of athleticism to spin that wheel of the porthole.
Eric: I like that. I like you on the— you on the ladder, trying to spin it.
Amanda: Havana in one hand spinning with the other. [dice roll] All right, it's a 19 plus 1.
Eric: Ooh.
Brandon: Ooh, that's very good.
Eric: That's higher than I thought it would be.
Amanda: I'm— yeah. I'm down to my littlest dice.
Eric: That's higher than I thought it would be.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Oh, wait, proficiency in athletics, that's a 25.
Julia: Fuck yeah, dude.
Eric: All right, pretty good.
Amanda: So yeah, Troy tries to wrench open the porthole with Havana on his hip like a baby, and then stick Havana up through the hole.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: With a significant amount of cool discus motion, you wrench open the wheel of the hatch. And the reason why it was so hard is because there was just a pile of bodies laying on top of it from the active battle of zombie pirates and regular pirates and government officials that is— has already, like, migrated on top of Lake Encounter like ants going on to a picnic blanket. They're just spreading out.
Brandon: Damn.
Julia: Nice.
Amanda (as Troy): It's time for the rally, bud.
Eric: As you poke Havana's head out, he— Havana goes—
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Ah! Put me down.
Amanda: Troy puts him down, scrambles up, and then extends a hand back down to help Umbi up.
Brandon: I jump up and grab it.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Flawlessly, gracefully I do that.
Amanda: Hmm. Nice adjectives.
Julia: Those are good adjectives.
Brandon: Thank you.
Eric: Cammie, what are you doing?
Julia: I'm gonna swim out the hole.
Eric: Oh, sick. Cool.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: No rolls. What a good idea.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Cool. Cammie, you can make your way back to everybody else by taking the long way around, swimming and climbing up the side of a ladder.
Julia: Yeah, my swim speed, very good.
Amanda: What a good form to both swim and climb.
Julia: Yeah. Those are my best abilities.
Eric: Cammie, as you are climbing up the ladder, different groups of combatants are falling around you. First, like three zombies with different limbs fall down, then a zombie pirate, and a privateer are still stabbing each other with scabbards as they fall past you as well.
Julia: With scabbards?
Eric: An entire treasure chest just falls past you and they say—
Eric (as Treasure Chest): Oh, that was mine. Oh, no. I took my eye off the prize, and it's gone. And now, I'm dead.
Julia: Cammie scoops out some doublooms, just puts them somewhere in her body.
Eric: That's fine. You're allowed.
Brandon: Pirates are so dramatic.
Eric: This battle continues around you, and we are now to our second stage.
Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: Wee!
Julia: Wee.
Amanda: We did one.
Eric: Okay. I have three options for all of you. The first, get in the fray. As I described, there are various enemies of various stripes who all hate you, like you, care about you, think you're neat, think you're annoying, surrounding you. And you can decide to jump into any sort of fray, if you— that is— if that is what you would like to do. The second thing is the armada of pir— of zombie pirate ships looms like something gross in the back of your fridge, with the Rotten Key standing atop the bow and their terrible zombie minions flanking them. So you can go after the Rotten Key, if you like. The third is lingering in the distance, far enough that you would need to go through a loading zone, because it's pretty chunky going from the ship to the facility, is that you can rush the Kompos facility, if that is what you would like to do. You have three options. What do you think? Also, I'm gonna say clank and clang and make sounds of people falling over while you're all talking.
Brandon: Okay, great.
Julia: That's fine.
Eric: Clang, clang, clang. [explosion]
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Oh, I didn't do what I wanted. I never got my degree in communications.
Eric: That's— I'm getting eating by a zombie.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Can you forward when you're— with your pension that you get from the World Government charge? Aah!
Eric: [explosion] [roars] There's a sea monster there as well.
Brandon: Can the whole episode just be this?
Eric: Clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang.
Julia: I'm just thinking about how annoying the edit on the fucking transcript for that's gonna be.
Eric: Julia, you can just call that—
Amanda: Battle noises.
Brandon: Battle noises.
Eric: —battle noises for a minute.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Brandon: That's really funny.
Eric: It's like all texts. You just gotta do your best with what you're given.
Julia: Hmm. So the way that Eric described "the get in the fray," I think we could potentially get some allies if we choose that path. I don't know how we feel about that necessarily, but putting that out there.
Brandon: Hmm. Do we think we need the zombie key in case the Key with a Gaze no longer works?
Eric: Good question. I will say, for the time being, since we are in a arcade mode, let's assume you have all three of the keys you need in inventory.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: In Troy's big pocket.
Brandon: Great.
Julia: Gotcha. Including the body of our friend.
Eric: Including the body of your friend, correct.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Yep. Wrapped in it shroud and lashed to my back.
Eric: Yes. And remember, the cloud key is already in the lock.
Julia: Right.
Eric: That Kidd Cervantes has done. Even— it might help your choices as well. I am giving you a special little power, which is all your friends can help. You have three abilities here for you to make your decisions. One, Kidd Cervantes can help. By them and their siblings, just kind of shooting up everything you need in front of you. It might not be enough to clear the stage, but it certainly will help you, but you only get to use this once. Havana can also help you.
Brandon: Can he?
Julia: Yes. Leave my sweet boy alone, Brandon.
Brandon: He can barely get out of a hat without throwing up. I mean—
Julia: It wasn't the hatch that was the issue. It was the 10 barrel rolls.
Amanda: And then the shock of all the bodies.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: He's a doctor.
Amanda: He's a man, Brandon.
Brandon: Exactly. He's not capable of this.
Eric: Havana can also help you by giving you a moment to think, to, like, take a time out, maybe do some rolls that you wouldn't be able to without time moving forward. Havana can do— can give you a time out. The third thing is that you can send the Sea Whip to scout ahead. Remember, the Sea Whip was attached, although Harold and Sil are still very, very dizzy from the various barrel rolls. They can scout ahead for you to get a better sense of what's happening with one of— if you're trying to decide between choices. I'll give you, like, a free investigation or a perception check for the Sea Whip to scout ahead.
Amanda: Cool.
Brandon: Well, my instinct is to try to, no pun intended, barrel on through to the locks and just get there as soon as we can, because there's already distraction happening, so—
Amanda: Me, too.
Brandon: But I do get your point, Julia, that it could be helpful to have some allies along the way to get through this scuffle.
Amanda: I'm a little drawn toward going for the Rotten Key, not because I think we're going to need it to unlock the lock. I think the, unfortunately, body of Key with a Gaze is going to work. But because I'm worried that our major antagonist may otherwise surprise us at an inopportune moment.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: Yeah, I think at this point, also, the issue that remains is everyone needs the Key that still Hurts if they want to open the locks, and we are—
Amanda: We have it.
Julia: We have that. So that is also a big concern that someone is going to try to pop up and grab that off of Troy at some point.
Eric (as Pirate Captain): I will die defending my brethren, spinning sword attack.
Eric: As a pile of grapes pulls out six swords and then spins around wildly, taking out as many zombies and government agents as possible.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Eric: That's the captain of the wine-covered pirates.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: And you're all kind of in the way. So [dice roll] hey, does a 12 hit your AC, Brandon?
Brandon: It does not. I have 14.
Eric: Okay. [dice roll] Well, that's 1. Congratulations, Julia. I gave you a little present.
Julia: Thanks.
Eric: [dice roll] And that's a Natural 20 for Troy.
Julia: Oh, fuck that, actually. Can I take Troy's Natural 20?
Eric: No.
Julia: I'm a big octopus.
Eric: That is 24 points of slashing damage from our good Troy Riptide, as you are caught up in multiple cuts from these spinning wine pirates. Oh, I didn't tell you, there's a timer of one minute going for every minute that you wait, some stuff happens around you.
Brandon: Yeah, it figures.
Eric: You could decide whether or not you want to deal with that. Sometimes it's spinning pirates, sometimes it's something else.
Brandon: Sometimes it's a treasure chest?
Eric: But it's something I feel like I should tell you about, and Havana gives you extra time, one minute on— an extra one minute on the clock if you need more time to think.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Cammie's gonna whack this grape over the head while we just continue discussing.
Eric (as grape): No, I wasn't calibrated for that.
Eric: And it spins off to the side like a discarded Beyblade.
Amanda: I need someone's potion, guys.
Julia: Really? Damn, take mine. Cammie reaches into her octopus body and gives you a potion.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.
Eric: Wait. Cammie, are you still an octopus?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, okay. I didn't know you were still an octopus. Hell, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Let's just go for the Salmon. Nothing else matters.
Brandon: Yeah, let's just go. Let's just rush the facility, I guess.
Julia: All right.
Amanda: Let's rush the facility.
Eric: You want to rush the facility? All right. I'm stopping the timer because you want to rush the facility. Sick! Yeah. The timer doesn't count for me as I'm balancing everything.
Julia: It's fine.
Brandon: Oh, actually, I have a timer right here that's timing your balancing for one minute. And every time it hits a minute, I gave you a nice, little pat on the head.
Eric: Oh, thank you.
Amanda: You Venmo him a $1?
Brandon: No, I don't do that.
Eric: Here's the problem, you're currently on Lake Encounter a very large, as I've described it, very large aircraft carrier style ship floating out here. The Kompos facility is still kind of far away from you. Again, it's another loading zone away. You got to figure out a way to get over there. What do you do?
Julia: Can they float on my back like I'm a Lapras?
Eric: Cammie can drag you all. They'll have to be some strength checks, but you will need to try not to drown.
Brandon: I mean, that'd be tight.
Julia: Yeah, let me try.
Eric: Great. As Cammie is about to jump into the water to start this octopus adventure and hope— and not having your friends drown, a government official who's having his face bitten off by zombies says—
Eric (as Government Official): Hey, where do you think you're going? You just got here. You're not making a break for the key, are you.
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Amanda: Troy shoots him.
Eric (as Government Official): No, I'll give that to you.
Julia: That surprised me.
Amanda: All right. Does a 15 hit?
Eric: Yes, it does.
Julia: On the government official, yeah.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: Amanda, I'll give it to you. That's fine.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: Just—
Amanda: I can hit him twice, but my intention is to shut him up.
Eric: The skirmishes around you stop as everyone tries to encircle you.
Eric (as government official): We got more to fight for before we go after the key, and that includes all of you.
Eric: I'm roping you into a battle with a tri-flavored series of enemies who are all trying to get at you.
Brandon: What are the three flavors?
Eric: Zombie government and regular pirate.
Brandon: Delicious.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Vanilla of Neapolitan. And that's when I need Amanda to roll a D 10 for me.
Amanda: Oh, no. [dice roll] 3.
Eric: 3?
Eric (as government official): Don't worry, they're not getting away from us that easy.
Eric: Brandon, I need a D4 roll from you.
Brandon: Well, don't you worry, Eric, because I'm gonna roll the first of my plant pirate dice.
Julia: Yo.
Eric: Ooh.
Brandon: My first time rolling, baby. What if I'm—
Julia: Yar.
Brandon: —suddenly a fucking incredible roller now?
Julia: I— Brandon, I hope for the best for that.
Eric: That would be sick as hell.
Amanda: jointhepartypod.com/dice. I don't know.
Brandon: What did you guys think I got?
Amanda: 1.
Julia: I think you got a 1 and I said that 10 minutes ago.
Brandon: I got a 1.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Yeah, of course you did, bitch.
Eric: At least it's the same.
Amanda: It's consistent, yeah.
Julia: We love a consistent king.
Eric: Great. So here's how this is going to work. You're gonna roll on this series of adjectives, a D 10, and I'm gonna pick one or maybe more of those adjectives, and then you're gonna roll a D 4 like Brandon just did, and I'm going to select what type of adjective that is going to enhance the group of people that you are in a skirmish with.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Because they— lots of people have other things they've been doing when you have all been gallivanting and destroying stadiums and jumping into books and having meetings that don't really go anywhere.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: That's fair.
Eric: So the adjective I got was fluffy, and this is weapon. And I think that this would be very funny if a murder of rotten sun gulls starts to cloud the sky, peaking up as many of their zombie compatriots as possible. And the fluffiness is the fluffiness of their terrible, rotten wings. So these zombies in this tri-color confederacy can fly, motherfuckers.
Julia: That sucks.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: You should probably watch out.
Brandon: I don't like that. I don't like that one bit.
Amanda: Not again.
Eric: One minute on the clock as this unlikely motley crew surrounds you, trying to keep you from jumping into the water. What do you do? One minute on the clock, go.
Julia: How high up in the air are these flying zombies?
Eric: I'd say they're in hovering range, but can move.
Julia: Cool. Are they, like, 15 feet away from me, would you say or—
Eric: I would say so, yeah.
Julia: Cool. I'mma smack a bunch out of the air.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You're gonna smack them out of the air as an octopus?
Julia: Yeah, because my giant octopus range is 15 feet, so I could just go—
Eric: Just reaching up into the air and smacking them down.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I love it. Give me some attack rolls.
Julia: Yeah. [dice roll] That first one is a 12 plus 5, plus 5, so 17.
Eric: That's a hit.
Julia: How many would you like me to roll?
Eric: How many attacks do you have?
Julia: I think I only get two.
Eric: Then roll that many.
Julia: Okay. [dice roll] 16 plus 5, 21.
Eric: Love it. I'm gonna— because this is a group— this is a motley group of people, I'm just gonna record all of your successes. Don't worry about damage necessarily.
Julia: Damage, gotcha.
Eric: Yeah, that's two, pop, pop. Take two zombies out of the air with your delicate, yet strong octopus hands.
Julia: I'm so supple.
Brandon: Well, Eric, you know what I'm gonna do, right?
Eric: No, I don't. Tell me.
Brandon: It's a banana potion.
Julia: Oh.
Brandon: I'm gonna make them slip.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Who? Who? Where?
Brandon: The ones coming at us.
Julia: On the deck.
Eric: All right, great.
Brandon: On the ground, obviously.
Eric: Oh, great. You were like, "And here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make the flying one slip in mid-air." Like I found a glitch in the code. Yeah, who you're making slip?
Brandon: Probably the pirates. I'm scared of them most.
Eric: That's fair. Remind me how this works.
Brandon: It gives me the grease spell, which it covers the ground in a 10-foot square centered on a point within range, and turns it into difficult terrain. When the grease appears, each creature standing in its area must succeed on a deck saving throw or fall prone. And obviously, anyone that enters the area also has to do that.
Eric: Got it. And you just, like— you just throw it on the ground?
Brandon: I check it in front of the people, the group of pirates running at us.
Eric: I love it. Okay, cool.
Julia: It'll also make it way easier for us to just slide into the water later.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Like a slip and slide.
Amanda: Are there any barrels on the deck of Lake Encounter?
Eric: Oh, you know there is. They have to keep their various tracks and pamphlets about the Salmon and, like, where— and maps to direct you to where the bathroom is and the nice bathroom is.
Amanda: Love it. Troy is going to push them over with his mighty muscles and with his innate, I would say, proficient knowledge of barrels. Aim them at the attackers coming up over the railings from the sea tortoise.
Eric: I love it.
Julia: Chickweed tracks.
Eric: Chickweed tracks is good. I like that.
Brandon: Pretty good. Pretty good. I was like, "No, Julia, they're just called chick tracks. What are you talking about?"
Julia: I was trying to make a Verda Stello version.
Amanda: Well, the 16 plus 5 in barrels, plus 1 for strength, 22.
Julia: Fuck yeah, dude.
Eric: 22, you push them over. You knock them over. Give me a D6 roll.
Julia: [dice roll] 4.
Eric: Knocks four over. I love it.
Brandon: Nice.
Julia: Hell yeah, dawg.
Eric: Cool. There's no active move for Umbi, but I'm gonna go do some stuff. Now, what are we gonna do?
Brandon: It'd be really cool if they all slip, I think. It'd be really funny and good.
Julia: Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop.
Amanda: Because, like, every falling body is gonna hit some other bodies on its way down is the thing.
Brandon: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: Because we're hitting the front line, and there's many lines behind them.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: [dice roll]
Amanda: That's bowling, baby.
Eric: You motherfucker. I'm getting rid of this die. I rolled a 4, a 5, and a 6.
Brandon: Hey.
Eric: Come on.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: You got that Brandon stank on it.
Eric: I got Brandon stank. As the pirates and government officials try to rush you with their swords outstretched, they go—
Eric (as Government Officials): Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Eric: And a bunch of them fall over the side.
Brandon: Yay.
Eric: But, unfortunately, the zombies don't have that problem, because they can fly with their big, terrible, dark, infested, nasty, rotten wings. [squawks] As they dive bomb all of you. [dice roll]
Julia: Fair.
Eric: Does a 15 hit, Brandon?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: All right. [dice roll] I give you another present, Julia, that's a 2.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: And does a 13 hit, Troy?
Amanda: That is my AC.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I'm gonna expand a risk die to dodge out of harm's way.
Julia: Nice.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Okay. Describe that to me.
Amanda: Troy sees the attack coming from above, drops and rolls, and I'm going to add my risk die to D 10 to my AC. Oop. That's plus 5, so that's 18.
Eric: Well, that's— yeah, that's anything, that's good. [dice roll] All right. That is 7 points of damage to you, Umbi. And hey, give me a con check.
Julia: You're probably fine, Brandon. Don't worry about it.
Eric: Oh, no reason why you have to do a con check when you're— when you get attacked by zombies. I'm sure it's fine.
Brandon: Yeah. Is it a saving throw or just a check?
Eric: I'd say it's a saving throw.
Brandon: Okay, cool. Well, I don't know why I asked that, because it's the same number. Okay. Oh, no whammies, no whammies, no whammies.
Julia: Brandon, you cannot say that before you roll.
Brandon: A 7.
Eric: Oh, a 7?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Oh, a 7?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Wow. I can't believe Umbi's gonna turn into a zombie before we even get to see the Salmon.
Amanda: Or a banana slug. We don't know.
Eric: Oh.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Oh.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Well?
Brandon: Well?
Eric: It's—, you know, it's good thing you only got 7 damage, probably because you threw your arms up instinctively, but those zombie plants and zombie sun gulls really went to town on one of your hands.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And I hope that's not an issue later.
Brandon: Probably not. It'll be fine.
Eric: Probably not.
Julia: Don't worry, Brandon. I have a spell for that.
Brandon: Yay!
Julia: Aah.
Eric: Cool. The— you have not cleared out enough, folks. I'm gonna say that three of your combatants have fell over the railing and slorped, but you still don't have enough to clear the stage. I'm gonna put one more minute on the clock. Go.
Julia: How many do you— do we have left? Can I roll for that?
Eric: Yeah, if you wanna.
Julia: Yeah, quickly. What am I rolling, perception, investigation? [dice roll]
Eric: Yeah, perception.
Julia: It doesn't matter. I'm a fucking thing, and I rolled a 4, so—
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: There's so many, it's overwhelming. They're getting closer.
Julia: It's technically an 8, because apparently giant octopus perception is pretty good. I'm just gonna knock a bunch of more zombies out of the air.
Eric: All right. Give me some attack rolls.
Julia: Yep.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy's gonna roll a survival check. There's gotta be an alternate way off this boat.
Julia: 14, does that hit?
Eric: Yeah, that hits.
Julia: [dice roll] And a 24.
Eric: All right, you can knock two more out of the air.
Julia: Bang bang.
Eric: Thank you, Octopus Cammie.
Amanda: Eric has a 25 survival check.
Eric: Good, in fact.
Amanda: What's a better way off this boat that the combatants don't know about?
Eric: Yeah, why don't you tell me? 25, I'll give the power to you. What do you want?
Amanda: We're gonna climb up the crow's nest and jump.
Eric: You could go up the crow's nest. We do know the distance of that from the amount of A squared plus B squared plus C squared we did in the early episode.
Julia: We did figure that out.
Eric: Although the flying zombies might be a little bit of a problem. If you go— if you climb fast enough, you would be able to cannonball into the water and get out of here.
Brandon: Could we also do a combo, maybe? where I have a flashbang as bonus action and it stops them from getting any reactions, which means we could, like, just bash past them.
Eric: What an interesting idea. I love that.
Amanda: Let's do it.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: The distraction dash.
Brandon: Distraction dash. Or maybe it's like I throw the— you've taught us, I throw the flash bang, and then you've taught us all how to do barrel rolls, and so we barrel roll away.
Amanda: Brandon, that's perfect.
Eric: You barrel roll through and you climb up.
Amanda: And let's use the grease slide to slide right off.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I like it.
Amanda: Get some speed.
Julia: This giant octopus trying to barrel roll is very funny.
Brandon: It just, like, turns over.
Amanda: Oh, no. It's like a torpedo. It's like torque, like a football.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Ooh, I like it. If you all want to make a stealthful move through the flash bang, I'm gonna need a stealth check.
Amanda: You got it.
Julia: Gotcha. 15 plus 5 for a dirty 20.
Eric: Love it.
Julia: Giant octopus, very stealthy.
Eric: Especially when a flash bang goes off around you.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: 14.
Eric: 14.
Amanda: 11 for Troy.
Eric: 11? Brandon, I'm gonna need you to roll a D6.
Brandon: Great. I got 5.
Eric: Great.
Julia: Oh, good.
Eric: Okay, so 20— what did Troy get?
Amanda: 11.
Eric: 11.
Brandon: 14.
Eric: Minus 5.
Brandon: 9.
Eric: 9. Love it.
Amanda: Aaah.
Julia: Geez.
Eric: Love to do it. It helps when you're an octopus, when your main, like, prime directive is slurping into the water. So Cammie goes through the flash bang over the side, sploosh, right?
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You're back where— downward where it's wetter, under the sea, it's incredible, right?
Julia: Cammie also puts out all of her tentacles once she hits the water, so that she can catch Umbi and Troy—
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: —when they go over the side.
Amanda: So nice.
Eric: Yeah. And then you hear, "sploosh," and it's just Havana who belly flops as a slice of orange into the water. So there's a slice of orange hole in the sea.
Amanda: He's essentially a life preserver.
Julia: Cammie scoops it up.
Eric: Unfortunately, while you're running through the flashbang, there seems to be something holding you back, holding you back from going over the side. And that would be Umbi's hand gripping the side of the railing, keeping you still on ship. Troy, unfortunately, with 11, you just run through the flashbang and you go to the other side of the ship.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, shit.
Eric: So Umbi and Troy are no longer next to each other, and Cammie and Havana are in the water. It's my turn again.
Eric (as Government Official): Okay, I will give you all passports to wherever you want if you stop biting us and stabbing us with swords. Wait one second. Greenfolk of the realm, fire your capturing net guns.
Eric: As they fire on Troy and Umbi [dice roll]—
Brandon: Can I just vanish since I'm hanging off the edge?
Eric: I would say that you are more of a sitting ducks kind of situation.
Brandon: But I would say it's cover if I'm hanging off the edge.
Eric: I wouldn't say you're hanging over the side. I would say—
Brandon: Okay.
Eric —that maybe you are so gripped from your zombie-like strength in your hand that you have not even made it over the side.
Brandon: Fair.
Eric: Unless, you want your arm to go in an unnatural posish.
Brandon: I mean, look, whatever gets me the best result here.
Julia: If I was in Cammie mode and not giant octopus mode, I could help you.
Amanda: Nothing can help me now.
Eric: [explosion] The key retrieval team gets into a real, like, Revolutionary War kind of musket grouping, and just [explosion] fire nets from their net guns at the two of you. Umbi, you get the net in circles around you and jabs into your stomach. You are grabbed by one of the nets [dice roll] for 5 points of damage, because, remember, they have the little thorn edges on the side. And Troy, you are netted one on top and one on bottom [dice roll] for 12 points of damage, and you are extremely wrapped up in a net.
Amanda: This seems a good time for Kidd to help.
Eric: You want Kidd Cervantes?
Amanda: What do you guys think? Too early to burn it?
Julia: You guys seem real fucked right now, so, yeah, we could use Kidd.
Brandon: Yeah, I think that's fine. I think it's good.
Amanda: Troy cradling the body of the Key with a Gaze over his shoulders, yells—
Amanda (as Troy): Sibling Cervantes!
Eric: Troy wrapped up in two different nets with the body of his friend, just cradled in his arms. And as Troy shouts out for the Cervantes siblings, it reverberates over this battle, radiating like a stone dropped into a pond, rippling through. And then you hear [explosion] as everyone is covered in needles from the six-shooters of the Cervantes clan.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, my God, that's 36 shooters.
Eric: Umbi and Troy are both loosed from their nets as, you know, they're really cool and delicately shot out of them from the needle guns.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And all the Cervantes siblings land on the deck, tip their cowboy hats, push their ponchos over to the side, and disappear once again.
Amanda (as Troy): That was so effective. Oh, my God.
Brandon (as Umbi): That was the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Julia: There's a very cool summon we used.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy's gonna just, like, directly run toward where Cammie is.
Eric: There is more, but someone hit skip, so—
Julia: Fair.
Eric: All right. You are loosed and this tri-federate is filled with needles, so y'all can move on.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Julia: Good.
Brandon: As we're moving on, Eric, can I cut off my hand?
Eric: How would you like to do that? What a great idea.
Julia: Hey, hey, Brandon?
Brandon: Uh-huh.
Julia: I can do that next round for you where you won't take damage. Just wait.
Eric: Julia, I'm talking to the man. Brandon, how would you like to do that? Would you like to use the hot potato? You want to cut it off with some arid swords? What would you like?
Brandon: Oh, well, if you'll allow me some flavor, I would love— I have a dagger. I would love to heat the dagger with a hot potato and then use it to cut it, so it sort of like cauterizes it as well.
Eric: The first use of the hot potato in the campaign, to heat a dagger hot enough to just slice through your hand, I love it. Now, Brandon, there will be repercussions for cutting your hand off, but what a good— but, you know, probably just the regular ones you've probably assumed from cutting your hand off.
Brandon: Yeah, just some health points and also I'd get a cool hand later, a cool pirate wooden hand later.
Eric: For sure.
Amanda: Now, I know Julia's camera just unfocused because she moved abruptly, but it really looked like your camera noped you out of this session, Julia. That's great.
Julia: That's how I felt, really.
Brandon: Yeah. So Umbi's gonna whip out a dagger, heat it up with the hot potato, and go—
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, didn't think this is how this was gonna go.
Brandon: And slices his hand off.
Eric: I love it. The hand is still gripped to the railing.
Brandon: And he goes—
Brandon (as Umbi): [groans]
Eric: Now, Brandon, this is a real choose your own adventure that you've been playing at home. How many hit points do you think you should lose?
Brandon: One.
Eric: Great. You lose one hit point and you don't have a hand.
Brandon: Okay, tight.
Eric: We'll come back to that later.
Julia: Just really quickly, I want to give Mage Hand Mike a shout out for a spell called Benign Dismemberent. For the duration, a willing target's body parts can be harmlessly severed from its body.
Brandon: I mean, I only lost one hit point, Julia, so it's fine.
Amanda: Only one hit point. That's not worth the spell slot.
Brandon: But you said you couldn't do it in octopus form, so I didn't know how long it would take—
Julia: Yeah. I'm gonna come out of octopus form once we move on to the next thing.
Amanda: It's not worth the spell slot. He's fine. He's fine.
Julia: It's a first— oh, actually, it's a third level spell. I thought it was a first level spell. Never mind. I'm not gonna waste a third level spell on you.
Eric: Spoosh, spoosh. Umbi and Troy jumped into the water, grabbed by Octopus Cammie, and the three of you are being towed by a big, old octopus towards the Kompos facility.
Brandon: Umbi turns to Troy and says—
Brandon (as Umbi): Sea air is really nice after I cut off my hand. It's nice on my face.
Eric: Did we talk about what color your blood is? Because I just like the idea of you—
Amanda: We did.
Eric: —streaming in behind you.
Brandon: Yeah. It's like— it's pawpaw colored. It's like a—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah, hell yeah.
Brandon: Brownish yellow.
Julia: Like very gently, like a— like an abuela or, like, an aunty, just on the back of the head, smack from the octopus thing.
Eric: Havana sees your head and in the water just—
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): [drowning noises]
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): This is what I was training for.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): I did a whole course on separating limbs.
Julia: Cammie lifts him out of the water.
Julia (as Cammie): Stop it.
Amanda: That was incredibly legible. Wow.
Brandon: I— obviously, I love the image of the blood, but just for mechanics, it was hot, so it did cauterize.
Eric: No, I know. No, you're right. I just thought it was neat.
Brandon: I just want to make sure I don't get penalized.
Eric: No, no, no. I just thought it was— yeah, I'm not gonna throw some sharks in there. That was just for— that one was just for me.
Brandon: Great, great.
Eric: You're right. You're right. You're right.
Amanda: Troy turns to Umbi—
Amanda (as Troy): I'm so proud to be your brother-in-arms. That was incredible.
Brandon (as Umbi): Is that a joke about my hand now?
Amanda (as Troy): No. No.
Eric: More like— Eric says, "More like brother-in-arm." Got him.
Amanda (as Troy): You still have two arms.
Julia: Just one left hand.
Brandon: And the camera pans back to the SS Lake Encounter, and you see the hand start moving along the deck.
Julia: Yeah, probably.
Eric: Actually, that's a great point. The hand unclenches from the railing, skitters around the deck. I think just like, again, walking around the pin-cushioned bodies of your enemies before. And skitters up to the crow's nest, pulls on a rope, pulls on another thing, fastens it around, and puts a new flag up into the air. The flag of the Rotten Key.
Brandon: Oh, that bastard.
Amanda: Aaah!
Eric (as Rotten Key): Yar, that's where they be.
Eric: And then the disembodied hand gives the thumbs up.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. I don't know if you ever have the experience of remembering that people in the past were technologically inventive and did great things with what it is that they had, and breaking out my hot water bottle for the first time every year reminds me of that without fail. What a good idea to have a nice, warm, little thing down the end of the bed where it can keep my feet warm. It used to be made out of bladders and then rubber, and now, incredible silicone. And I can't believe that, for centuries, people have been warming up rocks or bricks, or finally, the technology of a hot water bottle and keeping my feet warm. Welcome to the midroll. My cover is so cute. Thank you. And welcome to everybody who has joined the Patreon and followed us over there at patreon.com/jointhepartypod for free, which is a wonderful way to stay in touch with us and all things Join the Party, particularly if you are not vibing with social media right now, completely valid. You can just go over there and make sure you get all important announcements from Join the Party. If you want any of the cool bonus content we make for our patrons, you gotta upgrade to a paid membership. You'll get access to our patron-only Discord chat server, which is honestly popping and active every single day with photos and prompts and wonderful messages and real friendships from the Join the Party community. Last month, when Eric and I were at PAX Unplugged, we met up with, like, eight of you who met in the Join the Party server and are now IRL friends. Shout out, guys. We love you. You can also get a whole additional biweekly podcast Party Planning, and even things like ad-free episodes and early access to new episodes a whole day before anyone else at some of our higher tiers. Imagine you listen to the finale of Campaign Three a full day before anybody else, you're going to be able to if you join at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. Lots happening at Multitude, we are so honored that this is our job. And I love that I get to shout out the incredible work of my good friend and colleague, Jenna Stoeber. She hosts the show Big Game Hunger, a weekly comedy podcast where she and friends craft the next big video game in every single episode. They'll start with a randomly generated concept, genre and vibe, and then Jenna and all of her fun and game-obsessed guests take those ideas so far that they could, in theory, pitch it to a shadowy board of rich investors. You will laugh. You will learn about game trends in the game industry, and inevitably yearn for titles that will probably never happen. I promise, it is so much fun. New episodes come out every Monday, so if you're looking for a new way to add some pizzazz to your Mondays, to get you through to the next Join the Party Tuesday, you gotta listen to Big Game Hunger. We are sponsored this week by Mint Mobile. If saving more and spending less is one of your top goals for 2025, I know it is for me, one way that you can look to start saving is your wireless bill. Switching to Mint Mobile is an easy way to save because they are the very first company to sell premium wireless service online only. They pass those savings on to you, giving you plans starting at $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan. I know my phone bill, for many, many years, was like $50 and above, and you can do a lot with $35 a month. Like come on. Putting that to use, saving it, letting it stack up. Mint Mobile also has an excellent website. You can really tell that they make it easy for people to do all of their business online, because there is no calling an annoying phone number to deal with stuff. So Mint Mobile, you can use your own phone, ditch overpriced wireless, I believe in you. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com/jointheparty. That's mintmobile.com/jointheparty. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/jointheparty. $45 upfront payment is required, which is equivalent to $15 a month when you divide it by three months. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: All right, back in the water. Cammie is pulling our friends as an octopus.
Amanda: Point of order.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Cammie, if you would consent to Troy steering you, I can use my mariner feet to find a safe place to land for any water vehicle.
Eric: More like the mariner, am I right? The marine animaler, am I right?
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Nailed it.
Julia: I'll allow it.
Brandon: Nailed it.
Eric: No, this is too funny. Y'all— this is great. I love it. Octopus Cammie splashes onto the shore. One that you might remember from where you snuck up there secretly in the dead of night, or maybe when you escaped dramatically on the back of a blackberry dragon. You are back on the shores of the Kompos facility. All of you who are not marine creature can stagger on to shore.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon (as Umbi): And—
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Umbi, let me look at that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay. It's cool, right?
Eric: Just pulling out so much gauze.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's fine. It's cool. Look at those— all those—
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): No, it's not.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'll just—
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): It's objectively not cool and fine.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'll put it in the sand. It'll be fine.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): You're just gonna rub some sand on it, it'll be fine?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia: Just rub some dirt on it, you know?
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): At least let me gauze it. At least let me gauze it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, fine. Whatever you want.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Where did— this is a clean cut. Where did you get limb separation instruments?
Brandon (as Umbi): Havana, look at me. I'm so fucking old. It just fell off.
Julia: He Just lied to him. Huh.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Fine. Put this ointment on it, because you still have some— you got some zombie— you still have some zombie creep around it.
Brandon (as Umbi): You do it.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Fine.
Julia: Oh, there's still zombie creep around it?
Eric: And he pulls out a big jar of ointment and slathers it in orange. And you see that there's just, like, little black tendrils coming out of the— where your hand stump is, but with the orange ointment, it just goes away.
Julia: Okay. I was like, "Do we need to cut higher up?"
Eric: No. I just wanted to apply ointment in my fantasy game.
Julia: That's fair. You know?
Eric: In my imagination game, I wanted to apply ointment.
Julia: Eric loves an ointment.
Eric: I eat a big slather of orange ointment.
Brandon: What if there's like a monastery somewhere with— full of aloe plants and they make, like, the best ointment in all of Verda Stello?
Eric: Oh, I like that. That's probably where it came from.
Julia: And also the best booze.
Brandon: And the best booze, but only two of them know the recipe.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: It's chartreuse ointment. They're made— it's made— they're like berry people. They're, like, made out of herbs, right?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: It's pretty good.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I like the aloe plants because they're aloes.
Julia: Yeah, no, I like that.
Eric: What is chartreuse made out of? I assumed it was an herb.
Julia: No one knows, Eric.
Brandon: it's like 200 something mod or whatever, herbs.
Eric: Oh. Do we know, like, what—
Julia: Nope.
Eric: We don't even know anything about it?
Julia: Nothing.
Brandon: Only two people in the world know the recipe.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Oh, see, I thought it was recipe, but I'm like— I guess it's the same thing as Coke. I don't know what goes into Coke.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I wouldn't even know where to start.
Brandon: Right, exactly.
Julia: Or the, like, 32 spices in Dr. Pepper, I don't know how many there are.
Eric: Yeah. Like, I don't even know where I would start.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Okay, that's fair. All right, I— now, I understand. No, it's aloe plants. You're right.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: If we're starting with nothing, we're gonna go with aloe plants. Okay, here is your next choice as you are on the shore. You have two ways of trying to get into the Kompos facility. You might know them. You can go in through the front door, where the doors are currently open because of the all hands on deck pirates (regular) and pirates (zombies) are happening at the moment. Or you can go back in through the spiked cave, which has been burst open by the blackberry dragon and is over to your right. So you can go to the left, towards the front door, or you can go to the right, through the spiked cave.
Julia: Well, the spiked cave will get us to our immediate place that we want to go to. We just have to be conscious of the no magic brine situation.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, it got torn up, and the spikes only kept you from climbing back out, which we don't need to do right now.
Julia: Hmm. Yeah.
Brandon: Right. And I'm sure a lot of the spikes got taken out anyway from the blackberry dragon, so—
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: —probably even a clearer path.
Julia: I say we go that way.
Brandon: Yeah. Let's spike it up, baby.
Amanda: Before we head out, is there, like, anywhere that we can kind of take shelter or can I have, like, Umbi and Cammie sort of shield Troy for a minute? I would love to buy an extra minute here.
Julia: Okay. So we should use Havana for that, then.
Amanda: Is that okay?
Eric: Yeah, you can use Havana.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: I want—
Eric: Wait, hold on, Havana does a magical girl transformation.
Julia: I love that for him.
Eric: And pulls out a wand and moves— and spins it around in a counterclockwise situation, giving you an extra minute of the clock.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, my God. Thank you.
Amanda: Troy is dazzled for about five seconds, and then gets 55 seconds.
Brandon: Waste 55 seconds.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah. No, Troy would like to— I'm worried about someone separating the Key with a Gaze from Troy.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: I would love your guys' help to unroll my wings and roll him up in them.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: I also kind of want to do that with the Key that still Hurts, because that is, again, the one that is I'm most concerned about right now.
Amanda: Yeah. So I would like to have the Key with a Gaze grasp the Key that still Hurts like a sword and a king being buried together, and then wrap both of them in Troy's wings.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Yes. Let's do that.
Eric: Cammie, can you give me an arcana check really quickly?
Julia: Of course, I can. [dice roll] I'm gonna go ahead and come out of octopus mode too, so I can actually add my own arcana shit.
Eric: You can come out of octopus mode. That sounds great. I like the idea that you're still holding all of your limbs out like you're an octopus.
Julia: Uh-hmm. It's a 9 plus 7 for a 16.
Eric: Great. Don't worry. The timer is paused because I want to resolve this.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Ooh, 16 is pretty good.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: It's better than 15.
Julia: Famously so.
Amanda: It's true.
Eric: Cammie, what are two of the most basic things that Baba Rutabaga ever taught you when you are a little witchling learning the steps at the hem of her weird, terrible skirts? Tell me some basic rules about witching.
Julia: Spell work is all about intention.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: And my first thought was, like, cleaning up, like the best ways of making sure that, like, your workspace is clean and like—
Eric: A happy cauldron is a clean cauldron.
Julia: Right.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: And, like, how counterclockwise is banishing negative energy and clockwise is summoning energy.
Eric: Right. Top two, right?
Julia: Top two. Yeah.
Eric: Top two.
Julia: Cleaning the cauldron, very important.
Eric: Very important. Rounding out the top three would be things without mouths, cannot speak, but they do find ways to communicate.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: One of which is by shaking violently.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: And as Troy is repackaging the Key with a Gaze and is opening up his backpack, there is a whole lot of movement coming from Troy's backpack.
Julia (as Cammie): Open it, Troy.
Amanda: Troy opens the rucksack, and the camera from inside the backpack, like Elton Brown's fridge, looks up at Troy, going, "Huh?"
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Huh?
Eric: And something bursts forth, slicing through Troy's backpack, because, of course, it's covered in thorns, the Key That Still Hurts—
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Eric: —scampers like— almost like a scorpion, like on its side with, like, the little thorns as little legs. Scampers around on the beach, like it's looking for something. And it turned towards Umbi and sees his hand.
Julia: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Brandon: Oh, oh, I thought it was like looking for it's like zombie masters. I see, I see.
Julia: No, it's looking for a place to attack.
Eric: And it jumps at Umbi.
Brandon (as Umbi): Huh!
Amanda (as Troy): I told you I wanted to do this. You wouldn't let me do this.
Eric: Umbi, what do you do? You have a choice here. It's avoid it or accept it.
Amanda: Stick that hand forward like Thanos, baby.
Brandon: I mean, to be honest, I don't think Umbi would have time to, like, think and I think he would just be like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Ah!
Brandon: And, like, let it happen, you know?
Eric: Do you want to let it happen? Okay.
Julia: Oh, my God.
Amanda: The number— the amount of body modification that's happened to Umbi in the last 20 minutes.
Julia: Pretty impressive, honestly.
Bobby: I will say Bartlett probably tries to peck at it, but it's pretty impotent, so—
Amanda: Sounds like Bartlett's going down.
Julia: He's just a parrot.
Eric: And that is when the Key That Still Hurts locks onto Umbi's hand.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm less worried about us losing it now.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm so jealous.
Brandon (as Umbi): Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh.
Eric: Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, we would have had to cut something off of you in order to make this work.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Amanda: And Troy continues wrapping the Key with a Gaze.
Eric: Umbi, do you want to know how this works?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Obviously.
Brandon: I mean—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yes, I do, Eric.
Eric: If you do something with your key hand, it can be twice as effective. It is like you are critting on— if you throw a bomb with it, it automatically gets double damage. It is double effective. However, I guess this matters less because you don't have a hand, which is pretty funny. I wasn't anticipating this going this way. However—
Brandon: You didn't think I was gonna cut off my hand, Eric?
Eric: However, if you fail checks or attacks, et cetera, you take damage as the thorns dig into you.
Julia: Like the Martyr class.
Brandon: Okay. But if I have to choose to— like I can choose to use my other hand or whatever, if I don't want to use that, but—
Eric: You know, the Key That Still Hurts might get a little jealous if you lean away from it.
Brandon: Sure.
Eric: So maybe it'll give you some love stabs if you lean away from it so much. For things that you can make choices with, you can do it or not do it, and the Key That Still Hurts might hurt you anyway.
Brandon: Might still hurt me anyway.
Eric: Might still hurt you anyway, but you can make choices if you're like throwing a bomb, if you're doing something like a saving throw, you can't make that choice. If something more instinctual or involves your entire body, then you cannot make that choice, and you're locked into it.
Julia: It really is the perfect double or nothing item for Umbi.
Eric: It is.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. So as an example, let's just say, like I'm doing a dex save throw, if I fail it, the effect of the attack is, like, I still take full damage, plus I take whatever damage from the Key That Still Hurts?
Eric: Exactly.
Brandon: And if I succeed, is there a bonus to that? If it's a saving throw.
Eric: Yes. There would be bonuses.
Brandon: Great, cool.
Eric: But we're talking about, like, hand stuff.
Amanda: You wanna try that again?
Julia: Are we?
Eric: No, I'm not gonna take that again. I said what I said, folks.
Julia: Mark it.
Brandon: What does it look like?
Eric: The Key That Still Hurts is like the thorns on a rose's stem. It is blood red, it is shiny and a lot— and some of the thorns have, like, stretched around you and it now latched onto your arm. But still in other directions, it's still the thorn— there's still thorns poking out in all ways.
Brandon: Tight.
Amanda: Troy has never been more jealous. He knows that he's probably about to die. It doesn't matter. He should have overridden all of you and put this on his spine. I'm so mad.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm sorry, I didn't do this on purpose. I swear.
Amanda (as Troy): It's okay. You deserve it. You live longer. It looks so cool.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): What's even the point of me going to medical school?
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't know. We asked you that the entire time.
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, I'm down to 30 hit points. I really need some help, also.
Eric: [dice roll] All right, Havana takes out a band aid and sticks it on Troy's arm, but you get to have 12 hit points back.
Amanda: I'll take it.
Brandon: 12? Oh, damn.
Julia: Pretty good.
Brandon: I thought you were gonna say like a D4 and it's gonna be 4.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: It's a really good band aid, Brandon. It's medical grade, hospital grade band aid.
Brandon: Name brand, hospital grade.
Amanda: Like the fabric kind, oh, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, it's good shit.
Eric: Ooh, it's good stuff.
Amanda: Just to close out what Troy is doing with the Key with a Gaze, so he's taken the Maze Key, wrapped it in the Key with a Gaze's shroud, wrapped that in a folded flag that's been his inventory since Episode One.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Probably from the Crags. And then lashed all of that to his back, wrapped up in his wings. So from the outside, it looks like Troy has a very big wing, I don't know, wing quaff. Like, you know the hairstyles where it's like— they, like, come up in the top with, like, the curls curl together? Looks like that on his back, wrapped up in his own wings as he hefts it all up and stands.
Brandon: Umbi looks at him and smacks him on the back and says—
Brandon (as Umbi): You look good, boy.
Brandon: But it is with the Key That Still Hurts, so it does hurt Troy a little bit.
Julia: Rude.
Amanda (as Troy): If we go down, we go down together. Thank you, Havana.
Eric: All right. Incredible. Havana's time stop has ended. What would you like to do? Would you like to go into this spiky cave or would you like to go to the front door?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: We're going in the cave.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I am now spike. Let's go to the spiked cave.
Eric: You need to be with your own kind.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: All right, you can head over to the right, which, again, you've— each of you have traveled this road a few times before. It looks different in the daytime, and with explosions and cannons, and just alarms going off around all of you. It's like going back to your old high school and realizing it's a little smaller than you remember. Maybe it's because all of the spikes have been blown out by a blackberry dragon.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Eric: That would probably be part of it.
Amanda: That used to be the lunchroom.
Brandon: That's where I sat next to the blackberry dragon when we had lunch.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: As you are heading to the spiked cave, I need everyone to make a perception check.
Amanda: [dice roll] 6.
Julia: 21.
Brandon: 12. Is that a 24?
Eric: No. No, it's not, buddy. I don't think your new spiky hand can help you.
Brandon: What if it, like, covers the shade from my eyes?
Eric: You can do that. You just need to be careful with it.
Brandon: No, that's fine.
Eric: Cammie, something glints in the sun above the spiked cave. As I described before, the Kompos facility is installed into kind of, like, a mountain side. And, you know, this cave is— has been dug out into it, but there's still quite a lot of mountain that's still there. And high above you, about 300 feet, you see the glint of sunlight on metal that it kind of like— it crosses your eye in like— in a lens flare, sort of way.
Julia: All right, J. J. Abrams.
Eric: And you see that up above is a small platform that has been kind of shoved into the side of the mountain and someone is standing there with their entire body wrapped in bandages, but you can see the distinct petals of this tulip, nay.
Julia: Oh, my god.
Eric: Threelips as— echoing over the mountain.
Eric (as Threelips): You're using the flag of our friendship?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, because—
Eric (as Threelips): How dare you?
Amanda (as Troy): Like the key, it's died.
Eric: Cammie, you can act first if you want to.
Amanda: That hurt my throat a little bit. Love it.
Eric: I can tell.
Julia: I'm going to use a first level spell.
Eric: Great.
Julia: Called action.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: On Troy, which is going to allow him to a willing creature you choose, you can see within range during its next turn, the target gains an additional action. That action can only be used to take the attack action, dash, disengage, hide or use an object.
Amanda: Thank you.
Eric: I need Amanda to roll a D10 for me.
Julia: I believe in you, Amanda, heart of the cards.
Amanda: 5.
Eric: 5?
Amanda: Hmm. I hate when I roll and Eric laughs.
Brandon: Amanda's right in the middle.
Eric: Oh, that's sick as hell. Okay.
Amanda: You know how, like, God— like you make plans and then God laughs?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: I rolled the dice, Eric laughs, and I go, "Fuck you."
Brandon: That's what I do to God, too. So—
Eric: All right, Threelips is out of control with anger right now, so I'm gonna have to roll a D4 to figure out which one of you he's gonna fire on.
Julia: Fair.
Brandon: Is that an adjective we rolled?
Eric: No, the adjective will come up later.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Amanda: Shit. Just out of balance, like Guy Fieri. Fuck.
Eric: All right. That's a 1, so I'm firing on Troy.
Julia: That feels right.
Amanda: Still number one in your mind? I see I've never left.
Julia: What was the order? Just so I know. Was it Troy, Umbi, Cammie, Havana?
Eric: No, a four was shooting the dead body of the Key with a Gaze.
Julia: Oh. Fun.
Amanda: Which is also Troy when you think about it.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: What's your A— your AC is 13?
Amanda: It is.
Eric: Oh, that hits. Distilling every ounce of betrayal and hurt and anger that he has, he has willed it into this sniper bullet that he fires, and his good friend Troy Riptide.
Amanda: With my second to last risk die, I'm going to dodge out of harm's way at the last second.
Brandon: Yes.
Julia: Fuck yeah, dude.
Amanda: I will add a D 10—
Julia: Come on, baby.
Amanda: —to my AC.
Eric: God, this move is also called skin of your teeth. Truly it is.
Julia: Yeah, no shit.
Eric: Truly it is.
Amanda: That's plus 8, so Eric, does that hit a 21 AC?
Eric: No, it doesn't.
Julia: Amanda, yes. Amanda, yes.
Eric: Amanda, I need you to know I was going to roll 8 D 10. I was, straight up.
Amanda: Hmm, sorry.
Brandon: What would that mean? Wait, what would a D 10 mean?
Julia: 8 D10.
Brandon: 8 D10?
Eric: 8.
Brandon: I thought you said a D10.
Amanda: Oh!
Eric: No. 8 D10.
Brandon: Holy shit.
Amanda: Well, unfortunately, Troy just suavely leans to the left and the arrow goes right past his face.
Brandon: Yo.
Julia: A ship blows up in the background.
Eric: Yes, it definitely does. A bunch of Diamond Knot agents just pulled up and there's tug boat that runs on a kerosene engine and has helium burners. And they're all about to get out of the boat. And then Troy just goes— just moves out of the way and then it goes, "Ping." [explosion]
Amanda: Is this the SS Hindenburg on the side?
Eric: Yes, it does.
Julia: Oh, shit.
Brandon: The SS Hindenburg.
Eric: The SS Hindenherb.
Brandon: Ooh. Well done.
Amanda: Troy is going to smoothly draw three arrows out of his quiver and fire first the bomb arrow, followed by two more, thanks to Cammie's extra action.
Brandon: Yo.
Eric: So this is 300 feet away.
Amanda: So that's long range for my crossbow, meaning I have disadvantage on those attacks.
Eric: So you get one bomb arrow and then two more?
Amanda: And then two regular arrows, yeah, and three different attacks.
Julia: Amanda?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I'm telling you right now, it's going to be one of those 18s, 19s, or 20s.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: This is the time. This is when it has to go.
Julia: This is the time.
Amanda: So first, I'm going to fire the bomb arrow, and then if that doesn't hit, a regular and then a regular. So first, I'm going to aim for the platform with the bomb arrow. I have disadvantage because this is long distance.
Okay. First roll is a 14.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Not bad.
Amanda: Next was a 10.
Brandon: Hey.
Amanda: But we have a 10 plus 7, it's a 17 hit.
Brandon: I think that might hit.
Julia: From— yeah.
Eric: That does hit.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. Quad Damage, Eric.
Julia: Quad Damage.
Eric: Wait, so can we—
Julia: Quad damage.
Eric: Let's describe this for a second, because Troy was out of bomb arrows. Umbi, you used the thorn hand to attach the bomb with the thorns onto an arrow.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: In bullet time, Troy leans out of the way to miss Threelips' attack, holds out an arrow to Umbi. Umbi, with the thorn hand, equips a bomb.
Eric: While that's happening, the ship explodes behind it, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: And then Troy draws it back and fires.
Brandon: And it does 3D 10 damage times 2 plus my intelligence mod.
Eric: Okay. What's your intelligence modifier?
Brandon: That would be a 5.
Eric: All right. I'm just doing it on the computer, because these numbers are getting big. That's 17 on the dice, times two is 34 plus 5, which is Umbi's intelligence modifier.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: 39.
Brandon: Plus one, because damage to everything's a 40.
Eric: Right.
Amanda: Thank you.
Eric: 40, thanks, Gloria, so that's 40.
Amanda: Thank you, Gloria.
Eric: So then we double that, that's 80 points of damage to the platform, right?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Okay, here's what happens. Just go [explosion]
Julia: Splat.
Eric: Now, this is the funny part. The adjective I rolled was 5, which was roomy, which is from one of you, right?
Amanda: That was me.
Julia: Which one of you--
Eric: That was Amanda, right?
Julia: Oh, okay. I was like, "Hmm."
Eric: I thought roomy would have been that it is actually much roomier out on this platform than you think it was—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —because there's a door into the mountain—
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: —that Threelips can get into, which I was going to do if Troy did not explode Threelips. But I think what happens is the platform is gone, and now Threelips is hanging one hand on the door handle that's opening and closing, hanging on this, like, secret door that's been installed into the mountain.
Brandon: Incredible.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Amanda, shoot his hand. You have two more attacks.
Eric: And Troy has two more attacks.
Amanda: I sure do. All right. Next attack, okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cut off your hand. It's great.
Amanda: All right, it's only— it's a 5 plus 7 for a 12. Does that hit?
Eric: That does not hit, no.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: One arrow goes astray, and then we have— all right. That's a 17 to hit.
Eric: Oh, yeah, that hits.
Brandon: Yeah!
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: I'm gonna hit him right in the wrist.
Eric: Sick. Give me a damage roll.
Amanda: Do I have a D8 in this set?
Julia: It's a diamond-looking one.
Amanda: I don't wanna use your stinky one.
Brandon: Ah, got him.
Eric: It's not stinky, it's not stinky.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Brandon's stinky.
Amanda: That is a 5 plus 2 plus 1, 8 points of damage, piercing.
Eric: Okay. Hits Threelips, Threelips lets go of the handles, and tumbles down the mountain.
Amanda: Splat.
Eric: Poof. Poof.
Eric (as Threelips): Aah, aah, oh. Why would you do this to me?
Julia: And he's still making noise, that's—
Eric (as Threelips): Troy, I thought you were my—
Eric: Splat. Poof. Lands on the sand below you, right at your feet, Troy.
Eric (as Threelips): Why would you do this to me? I thought we were friends.
Julia: He's dead. He's dead.
Amanda: Troy's gonna look at him dead in the eyes, straight on in the face, turn around and walk into the cave.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yo!
Julia: Ice fucking cold.
Eric: His already damaged, bandaged face with only bare— just so little— one petal of the three lips, and his little bit of face peeking out of his heavily bandaged body, just collapses into the sand.
Julia: He's dead, right? Like 300 feet falling damage, he's dead, right?
Eric: Yeah, Julia, he's dead.
Julia: All right, cool. I'm just making sure.
Eric: Yeah, he's dead.
Julia: I have to ask, because sometimes villains come back.
Eric: Havana runs over and says—
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Oh, he's dead.
Julia (as Cammie): Thanks for the confirmation, Havana. Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): This was your best diagnosis yet, Havana.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Being a doctor is worth it.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: All right, now you can go into the spiked cave.
Brandon: I kick his body on the way in.
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: Feel free to steal whatever.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, is there anything I can loot off his body, Eric?
Eric: Sure. Yeah, why don't you give me a— just give me a straight up dice roll.
Julia: Just a luck roll.
Amanda: Just a loot and bodies roll.
Brandon: A 2.
Eric: A 2?
Julia: A 2?
Amanda: A 2?
Brandon: A 2.
Eric: You pull out a notebook that's filled with various ways that he would cook up Umbi's body.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: And it all involves like a candlelit dinner with Troy and Cammie being there.
Amanda: No.
Eric: Because as Threelips has written, he thinks that by showing Troy that Umbi sucks, Cammie would also come aboard, and they could be friends together, and everyone would kiss.
Julia: Honestly, fair.
Amanda: Tough.
Julia: Fair read of the situation.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Umbi's like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm, tartare, that sounds good. Yeah.
Eric: Baked umbaska.
Brandon: Pretty good.
Julia: Ooh.
Amanda: That's good.
Julia: Umbaska is a town in the Crags.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Up in the mountains. All right, I need to figure out a way for us to— or at least Cammie to cast spells while we're down here. You think I could just shape water around my head?
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: I feel like we couldn't do that for some reason, but I don't remember why.
Julia: Well, because we needed air for me to put the shape water around, but if I start from the top.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: And then I shape the water around my head into an air globe, maybe that'll work.
Eric: I started a timer.
Julia: Yeah, I can tell.
Brandon: Oh , Eric, could I give her like a bomb casing with a stopper in it, that anytime she needs to cast a spell, she can take the stopper out, quickly put it on her mouth, like a rebreather?
Amanda: That's a great idea. I love that.
Eric: Wait, explain— wait, hold on, explain that to me again.
Brandon: So I'd take—
Julia: No, no, that makes total sense.
Brandon: I'd take a bomb casing, right?
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: You know how I— it's like a case inside of a case, right?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: But I just use the outside casing with a stopper on it. And then I capture some air.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And then, anytime Cammie needs to use a spell, she could just take the stopper out, put it on her mouth.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: So she has some air to speak into.
Eric: I like this. How many reagent die you have left?
Brandon: Only one.
Eric: Only one?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: If you want to use— because I think that, like, your reagent dice are, like, for potions and stuff, right? I think if you want Cammie to be able to do this, you can use a reagent die to just use a bottle full of air, and Cammie can cast one spell.
Julia: Oh, yeah. That's right.
Brandon: Hell yeah, let's do it.
Julia: But no, that's not worth it.
Amanda: Yeah, it is.
Brandon: It's not worth it?
Julia: I need to be able to do multiple spells. We can't lock it in at one spell.
Amanda: Well, listen, the—
Brandon: I'm doing it.
Amanda: —brine, like we can't forget, because the blackberry dragon smashed this whole hole in the cave and it flooded the entire facility, it's been diluted. Okay? I know about pickling. I know how that works, so it's not all trapped inside the facility anymore. It could have diluted out into the cave, the ocean, the facility. Who knows?
Eric: Yeah, you're all still standing at the mouth of the cave. You haven't gone in yet.
Julia: We're running in.
Amanda: Yeah, we're running.
Julia: We're going.
Brandon: Yeah, no, we're running in, we're running in, but I do, do that.
Eric: Okay, you can do that as well.
Julia: Okay. Thank you, Brandon.
Eric: Umbi can use his last reagent die to make a bottle of air, just in case Cammie needs it.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: Love it.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: Okay. As you charge into—
Brandon: Oh, wait, I'm sorry, Eric, real quick. I do need to say.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Umbi does write, "Break in case of emergency," on the glass vial.
Julia: Of course, naturally.
Amanda: With the thorn, you can etch now, buddy.
Brandon: Oh, he etches it.
Eric: I like it. Okay. You run into the blackberry cave, and it looks a little bit different than when you last saw it. Mainly, all the blackberry thorns are destroyed and gone. You can just walk in there. However, there's still the slope down, much like you did, like, 20 episodes ago. You can peer over the side and see where it slopes downwards, And there is not a lot of brine down there to catch your fall.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: All of you have jumped into the brine before. It is much, much, much, much lower, with the blackberry dragon busting everything up, various doors and air locks opening at different times. The South Kompos prison facility and the Kompos facility being on high alert the entire time. A lot of the anti-magic pickle brine has gone all the way down. You cannot tell how far down it is, but I think it's like don't jump into this empty pool, sort of vibes, is what I can tell you from a cursory glance.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Gotcha. What Cammie's gonna do is cast fly on Troy and Umbi, and hope that they can carry.
Brandon: I have slow fall, so don't waste a spell on me if you don't need to.
Julia: Okay. Well, someone needs to carry both Troy and— two of us have to carry two other people, is what I'm trying to get at.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana):Cammie, I want to fly. Cammie—
Julia (as Cammie): You want to fly?
Eric (as Havana Tropicana):Cammie, one of my great Cammie, when I was a med student and got so— I was harassed and bullied for being a man in med school. I would look out the window and see the bugs with wings, the dragonflies, the butterflies, the cockroaches.
Brandon: Gross.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): And also my friends who were dragonflies and butterflies and cockroaches. And I was like, "Wow, they seem so carefree, being not bound to this ground anymore. Like me, buried under just an orange slice, buried under books. Please, let me fly."
Eric: Havana puts his hand on your face.
Julia: Cammie gently kisses his hand and then forehead, I guess. And cast fly on him and Troy. And then Cammie goes to Troy—
Julia (as Cammie): Uppies.
Amanda: Troy scoops Cammie up, holds his bundle with his other arm, and slowly floats down.
Brandon: And Umbi, like the Olympic diver he is, takes a running start, does a perfect— insert name of a dive here.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Swan dive, I guess. Toe touch.
Brandon: Swan— toe touch and takes out his hat— or and hold on to his hat and slow falls down.
Eric: I like it.
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, be unburdened, fly.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): I have no more problems. Everything's going well for me.
Eric: And Havana flies around the— this destroyed city.
Julia (as Cammie): It only works for 10 minutes, just as a reminder.
Eric (as Havana Tropicana): Okay, I'll get down quickly.
Eric: As you all fly down to the ground of South— former South Kompos City. The destruction down here was even more severe than it was before. It was ruins, but at least you could be like, "Oh, that building was there. Oh, that Town Square was there." It is leveled down here. It is a suggestion of a memory of a city that used to be here. Both from the turn uprising and the blackberry dragon, but I'm sure the Diamond Knot was not particularly happy with everything you were doing down here. So it's pretty easy for all of you to see that there are three Greenfolk waiting for you down on the ground. As you start to lower, you see that the brine level is about knee to waist height.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Depending on how tall you are.
Julia: I'm fine, then.
Eric: And all three of these Greenfolk are waiting in the brine, just waiting for you to come down. And all of them look pretty, pretty mad to see all of you.
Julia: That's fair.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yar!
Julia (as Cammie): Avast ye!
Eric (as Lucky Edie): We're not doing this again, Sea Whip. Cammie, Umbi, Troy, we're done. This is the last time we're going to do this. If you give up now, I can talk to my handlers at the Diamond Knot. I can talk to all of the leaders of our— of the four countries, and we can let you off easy. I know because you let the three of us off easy, and it doesn't seem like you really want to go throw— through with this. Why would you leave Piney alive, Cammie? Why would you leave your sister alive, Troy?
Julia: Umbi has left no one alive.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): And there's nothing you can do to take me down, especially because I got knives everywhere. And that's why me, Lucky Edie, are gonna take down all of you once and for all.
[theme]