Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #64: As soon as you realize that you're lost in the woods, stop moving. It's much easier for rescuers to find a stationary person than someone who is moving around. Only continue to move if you know where you are, need to find shelter, or a voice rumbling in the darkness tells you to do so.
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Do you remember our first mystery? The case of the waterhole monster? Sure, the Best Friends destroyed the Arcano-mechanical beast, pretending to be a camp myth that were threatening campers and hoping the camp wouldn't open up on time? Yeah, they took care of it. But there are lots of answers that still haven't been uncovered. Who built the waterhole monster to terrorize the camp? And who kidnapped the swim staff and kept them unconscious, deep underwater for so long? How did they hold their breath for so long? That seems really really strange. Right now our only lead stems from the brook that feeds into the waterhole. Of course, our CITs aren't the same since the first episodes. Phoebe has gotten a lot closer with Charles, the spirit of the Woods who guides her through her struggle to get control of her weird magic powers. Les isn't sure what is and what is not monstrous and weird, especially when it comes to Phoebe. And Carrie-Ann's realizing it takes a lot more to run Camp Diogenes than just enthusiasm and old camp T-shirts, especially when she feels responsible for the mental and physical safety of Director Löw and her son, Boo. Time to make a cold case a hot case by putting it in a waffle iron. And like reheating it, it's the leftovers mystery. Mmmmn. Let's get the party started.
[theme]
Eric (as Bones): [over the PA system] Oooh! It’s a hot one, and not just in this booth where it's always hot. It’s John Bonez Bones with your morning morning morning announcements.
Brandon: (singing) It’s a hot one!
Julia: That’s what I thought, too.
Eric (as Bones): [over the PA system] You got my, that was the reference. Congratulations, everyone who got it. It is a hot one, not a reference. So make sure to stay cool by staying inside and drinking lots and lots of water. The temperatures are gonna go over 100 Kelvin? No, Kelvin, get out of the radio booth. It's gonna be over 100 Fahrenheit. Unfortunately, the waterhole is closed, so please stay away. Staff, remember to remind your campers that they should not jump in the water because it looks and has the viscosity of blood. Alright signing off. John Bonez Bones, stay cool in the neighborhood.
Julia (as Phoebe): One week there's teeth, one week there's blood.
Eric (as Bones): [over the PA system] It’s been one week, no, that's a different reference. I shouldn't be listening to what Phoebe is saying.
Eric: Before we get into whatever hilarious monster-related high jinks we're going to get into I heard it's someone's birthday, and my birthday I mean level up.
Amanda and Julia: Ooooh!
Brandon: Does that mean we get to hear Julia’s song again?
Julia: Happy level up to you. Happy level up level two, but we're not level two now, we’re some other level.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric: Oh, good. It's like I put $1 in the tip jar at Cold Stone Creamery. This is perfect. Now, Julia, I have a question for you–
Julia: What’s up?
Eric: It seems like you've leveled up recently and now you're leveling up again.
Julia: Hey, man, I keep failing. What do you want from me?
Eric: No, that's fair. Remember, you level up according to the amount of failures you've had. Phoebe had some experience.
Amanda: It has– It's a metaphor, man.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: How many times have you leveled up? What level are you technically now?
Julia: This is my third level up.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: Yes. So what I'm going to be doing is I'm going to be taking +1 to Charm.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: So now my Charm is at 0 instead of -1.
Amanda: Nailing it.
Julia: And I'm gonna let you guys in on a secret thing. I'm only two experience away from leveling up again, and I have plans.
Amanda: That's amazing. I've leveled up three times and I am one away from leveling up for my fourth time.
Eric: Oh my god, you two have failed so much.
Amanda: Oh, you know it, baby.
Brandon: Well, Eric, I am at least twice as good apparently as these two because this is only my second level up. But I took another one of my searcher moves because they're all really fun. And I took a thing called The Things I've Seen.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: When you encounter a creature or phenomenon–
Eric: Phenomenon doo doo doo–
Eric and Julia: Doo doo doo
Brandon: –you may declare that you have seen it before. The Keeper may ask you some questions about that encounter, and will then tell you one useful fact you learned and one danger you need to watch out for, maybe right now.
Eric: Perfect, that’s wonderful. Are these in synchronicity with some of your other times and you saw a thing? Like can you use them at the same time?
Brandon: I think so. Like yeah, my Ockham's Broadsword when I first-- only when I first encountered something.
Eric: Okay. So it's the opposite, either you did see it before, or you've never seen it before.
Julia: Whoa.
Brandon: Oh, yes. Correct.
Julia: Brandon's covering all his bases.
Eric: That's cool. No, that's tight as fuck. I love that. See, this is why playbooks are so interesting. It's just like building stuff out about how, how much of an archetype, your particular character is, depending, or if you choose moves outside of your archetype. If you want to mix it up.
Brandon: Yeah, it's really sad that I roll so well because I'll never discover many more of them.
Amanda: It's almost like Brandon and Eric had a really insightful conversation about that on August 12, 2022, in the Party Planning for patrons of Join the Party pod, patreon.com/jointhepartypod, and Party Planning.
Julia: Interesting.
Eric: Okay, I think it depends where y'all want to start, because I know there's some stuff that was not resolved after the Puzzle Cleric kind of fucked all of your shit up. So we can figure that out. Or we can introduce the mystery, whatever you would all like to do. But I can tell you the mystery does have to do with people not being able to go in the waterhole.
Julia: So, you guys can play with me in the space and allow me a yes or no on this one. But–
Eric: Julia, we're doing Monster of the Week, we're not doing space. So– I don't want to play with you in Space. I have to come up with oxygen mechanics right now, and I told you not to do that.
Julia: Right. Okay, that's fair. I'm sorry.
Brandon: Amongst us.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Thank you, Brandon
Brandon: That’s a reference for the teens.
Julia: Hey, I want to kill that frog. How does everyone feel about that?
Eric: You want to kill the frog?
Brandon: I feel great about it.
Amanda: I'd love to kill the frog. I also really want to know where the source of the tunnel went in the watering hole.
Brandon: I do think they might be related because I have a sneaking suspicion that this frog based on Eric's description of it as a quote-unquote, “unnatural creature” that this frog might be like some kind of mechanical thing ala Nessie, our friend from the watering hole.
Julia: So do you guys want to go kill the frog together?
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Depends if you want a team or not. I mean, this is a vendetta but well, we'll gladly support our best friend.
Julia: It is a vendetta and I do want to win something off that frog in conquest.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I'm also worried because I did almost die, not because of the frog, but because of the cube.
Amanda: Sure, sure.
Eric: What I would say is I think if you want to go check out underneath the rich big girls' cabins donated by specific family number 5, you could go do that. I would say that this would just be a move for you to go investigate it.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: If you want to bring everyone, everyone can be involved. However, I would say that Phoebe would have to lead that and do a specific role, and then y'all can help. But you would then be exposing yourself to danger. And as Brandon said, Do you want support? And honest question, would Les and or Carrie-Ann go and do it if that would happen? So I feel like we gotta go. We have to negotiate that.
Julia: Right. I think this was more I wanted to pose that question to you guys as players before I initiated the conversation in character. That make sense?
Brandon: Yeah. I was answering as a player. Yeah.
Julia: Okay, great.
Amanda: Yeah, happy to do it. Maybe Phoebe and Les could do it, as Carrie gives the letter to the director. Or if you want us to go all together. I'm totally down.
Julia: Yeah. Since you and I almost died when we tried to tag team it in a two-person scenario. I think the three-person scenario would be best.
Amanda: Yeah, let's do it.
Brandon: Here's what I would say with, with Les. I think if you phrase it to Les as killing the frog, I don't think he would be on board for that. I don't think he wants to kill any cryptid.
Julia: No, I think Phoebe is gonna frame it as like this thing is still a danger.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: And it harmed us to the point where we needed to seek medical help. And we're capable. Imagine what happens if people who aren't capable ran into those things again?
Brandon: Oh, yeah. That's very convincing, I think he would, Les would be like, you know, why don't we get help from ADZ or something?
Julia: Yeah, no, I think I think Phoebe would make the point being like, ADZ already helped us with that, and then it's still out there, and we know it's still out there. And it seems like, for better or for worse, a lot of the people in charge of camp are good at saving people but not finishing the job.
Brandon: Hmm. That's a good point. Yeah, I mean, you know, we know we're up against now we can make a plan. I'm sure there's some knowledge we can gain from the book.
Julia: Now that we know it's an ooze.
Brandon: And a frog with a top hat.
Julia: Fucking frog.
Eric: No, Brandon, he doesn't have a top hat.
Julia: I'm so mad at the frog.
Eric: Brandon, you can't just WB-ify my monsters. You can't just say that he's going to go, “Hello, my lady. Hello, my darling”. No, that's not what happened. That's not what happened.
Brandon: Let's do it.
Julia: I think Phoebe's just like–
Julia (as Phoebe): Let's scope it out, and if there's something more pressing, we can always come back to this. But I think that frog are a danger and it's really scary and I don't want the rest of these children getting hurt, and the ooze, also the ooze, that's another thing.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Let's see what's down there. And maybe if there's a tunnel we can take to the bottom of the watering hole or wherever that tunnel went, all better.
Julia (as Phoebe): That water was coming from somewhere.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Right?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, maybe it's all connected
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): If the walls are like covered in blood then we know what's happening and we can be like hey, the water– the water is blood, blood is water.
Julia (as Phoebe): Blood in the water, water’s blood. Makes sense.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Honestly, I still drink it, someone want me to dare to drink it. Do you want to dare me?
Julia (as Phoebe): I mean, maybe later. It’d be kind of cool.
Brandon (as Les): No.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): How much do you think I can drink? How much how much blood water do you think I can drink? Like a gallon?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Like two?
Julia (as Phoebe): Like the milk challenge.
Brandon: Les looks at Carrie-Ann sideways and starts looking at this book to see what things will drink blood.
Julia: Vampires.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Just dare me, just dare me. I'll do it. Dougie! Dougie! Dare me!
Eric (as Dougie): No! I'm asleep, stop!
Julia: It’s part of the flirting ritual that’s happening.
Eric (as Dougie): Get out of here!
Eric: And he throws pillows and all of you. Les, you look in your book. And it says under vampires. It says people who think vampires are cool.
Brandon: It says vampires on Tumblr teens.
Eric: Yeah–
Eric (as Les’ book): Throughout all of civilization from those who have interacted with the Dracul, there are plenty of people who think it's neato to drink blooded and emulate that. Whether it's for dare or they're covering up their deepest desires.
Brandon: Is that my book voice? Because I fucking love it.
Amanda: I love it.
Eric: Yeah, no, I assumed that was the book voice.
Julia: Yeah, incredible.
Brandon: I fucking– that's the best thing I've ever heard.
Eric: Listen, sometimes I just start talking, and then it happens, and that's a cool thing that I do. Okay, here's how I think this is gonna go, Phoebe, since you're leading this, you need to generally Act Under Pressure of what's going on.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: If either of you, Les, or Carrie-Ann want to contribute, you're still there. But if you want to contribute, you're going to be like even more involved in what's happening here. So you can choose to make a roll as well to fun– make Phoebe's roll more fungible
Amanda: Gotcha.
Eric: However, that can be positive or negative. So it's up to you.
Julia: Let me roll first and see how that goes.
Eric: No, no, no, no.
Julia: Oh, no?
Eric: In fact, it is the opposite.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: In that, you all need to roll at the same time–
Julia: Okay.
Eric: –if you decide to contribute or not.
Julia: This is on me. I don't want to put you guys in more danger mechanically, let me see how I do. And–
Brandon: No, this is a team effort.
Amanda: Team effort.
Julia: Alright, does the book have information on the ooze that we can use to set a trap or something to that effect?
Brandon: Yeah, that's exactly what I was about to say, Julia.
Eric: Brandon, I would then encourage you to read a bad situation.
Brandon: Cool. Yeah, I'm gonna do that and sort of like look up information and then use my cryptid hunting gear, if appropriate.
Julia: Great.
Brandon: To set up a trap or at least like some kind of safety mechanism.
Eric: Cool. Okay. And then Carrie-Ann, are you going to do anything?
Amanda: Um, if we're in our cabin, gathering stuff, Dougie's throwing pillows, Les is poking through his book, I would love to dash to the Director's Office on our way over to the girl's cabin, is that okay?
Eric: Well, here's what I would say, if you think this is gonna be a short conversation, “Hey. Here's a letter.” do it and you can see what happens. Let– you'd have to figure out if you can do both. Does Carrie-Ann think that this is going to be an easy and short conversation that can be done?
Amanda: Yeah, she’s simply returning a lost letter to the director.
Julia: Oh, oh!
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Carrie-Ann–
Eric: This is fucking incredible.
Amanda: How– why would it be more complicated than that?
Eric: Alright. I need a roll. I need you to roll. All right, Carrie-Ann I need you to roll 2 D6 -2 right now.
Julia: Wow.
Amanda: I don’t know why I have a minus but fine. 9 - 2 for a 7.
Eric: For a 7.
Brandon: That’s not bad.
Eric: That’s not bad.
Julia: Not a fail.
Eric: That's not bad. As everyone is kind of figuring out whether or not they want to go below the rich cabin.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'll meet in five minutes. I'm just gonna run to the director’s office right there.
Eric: Right, and -2 is Carrie Ann's ability to understand adult situations.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: That was the–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, what’s the problem?
Eric: That's the move. I– yeah. So you run over to the director's office.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What’s the problem?
Eric: The air conditioning is blowing so loud, then it's really hard to hear.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: The director has like an air conditioner on the floor, an air conditioner window unit. And like three fans that are strategically placed around the room. It is blowing her papers a little bit in different directions. Because it's like there's a, it's a wind off the sea that's going in multiple directions.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And much like Odysseus’ ship upon the Aegean Sea, it's going all which way from all which type of winds.
Amanda: Damn.
Julia: Hey, Eric.
Eric: Yeah?
Julia: Great reference.
Eric: Thanks
Amanda: Damn, honey.
Eric: Sometimes I say things that come to my brain. So she has a lot of things weighted down with like various things. There's paperweights, does that paperweight have an eyeball in it? Sure looks like it.
Julia: Sexy.
Eric: Pretty cool. Pretty neat.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Director Löw, hello. Good morning.
Eric (as Director Löw): Good morning, ah– [in a louder voice] Good morning, Carrie–
Eric: She’s shouting over the air conditioning.
Eric (as Director Löw): Good morning. Carrie-Ann, I'm kind of busy today, and it's– you should be drinking water. Are you drinking water?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, I actually just made a bet about how much water I could drink against Dougie Juice. But it was actually just a ploy to get both of us more hydrated. So you know always thinking
Eric (as Director Löw): Good. Water drinking contests are the best way to get campers to drink. This is the only day of the year you can use beer games to promote water drinking.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What's beer games?
Eric (as Director Löw): Nevermind. What's up?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, when we were in the bouncy castle thing? I found a letter with your name on it, and I just wanted to bring it by. I would have done it yesterday. But I thought there's a lot happening and a lot of like, people giving each other looks without saying words and I learned that when that happens, I shouldn't probably say anything. So I just didn't say anything. But I kept it, I tucked it under my pillow so no one will take it, here it is.
Julia: Oh, Carrie-Ann.
[silence over the air-conditioning noise]
Eric: Think Director Löw turns off some of the air conditioners. Now it's like it feels even more quiet in her office. Because it was it had the–
Amanda: My ears are ringing, yeah.
Eric: She takes a letter from you and says–
Eric (as Director Löw): You got this from the bouncy castle?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, it has your name on it. That's why I thought you wanted me to win. So I will see you first. Should I put it back or?
Eric (as Director Löw): Thank you Carrie-Ann, I– I appreciate you bringing this to me.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, it was really easy. I have to pass this cabin like 10-12 times a day, so it's really fine.
Eric (as Director Löw): Alright, that's it. Go drink water.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, yeah. Um, do you have an extra walkie talkie by the way? Just because in case there's like, anyone faints or like is too hot or there's like water drinking contests. But then there's throw-up?
Eric (as Director Löw): I don't– Carrie-Ann, I don't. Go do, go look at some– I don't know. Go tell someone to go do something.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No problem. Okay, goodbye.
Julia: Ah, sweet baby child.
Amanda: Then she ran back to meet in front of the cabin.
Eric: Great.
Julia: It was a chill conversation. I don't know why we were all stressed out about it or anything.
Brandon: I don’t know, yeah
Eric: The director said thank you and then goodbye and told you to go do something.
Julia: That's the most polite she's been to you ever.
Amanda: Yeah, we're basically on a first-name basis. So–
Eric: Because you give her a piece of mail that have her first name on it?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: That's very funny. Alright, Carrie-Ann, you did actually have a really quick conversation with the director. So you can go you can be a part of this as well.
Amanda: Hooray!
Eric: Good. That's exactly what I wanted to happen. Fuck yeah, dude. That’s a good roll.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I don't know why adults do the thing where they stare up into the ceiling and then say my name and then wait and then say something unrelated. It's like it happens a lot to me, but I don't really know what it is.
Julia: Wow.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Well, anyway, let's go drink… water.
Eric: Okay, Carrie-Ann. You're gonna hustle over the cabin. So the three of you are back at the rich girl– the big rich girls' cabin. All the campers are lusting over Les nearby. Les, would you find that distracting?
Brandon (as Les): No.
Eric: Okay, great. Just letting you know.
Julia: He’s like, “why would I find that distracting?”
Amanda: He hardly notices.
Eric (as Brenda): Les, it’s me, Brenda. Remember me from last time?
Brandon (as Les): Hey, Brenda.
Eric (as Brenda): Hi. [giggles]
Brandon (as Les): Of course, I remember you. You're a lovely, lovely camper that I'm very excited to continue this summer with and all of you.
Eric (as Brenda): You said I was lovely. [giggles]
Eric: Great, thank you. Good check-in with Les. Alright, yeah. So let's do it. Carrie-Ann. What would you do in this situation?
Amanda: I think for now, I'm going to wait and spring into action when needed.
Eric: I'm gonna say this is gonna be all at the same time.
Amanda: Oh okay.
Eric: I know that usually, we allow you to roll help afterward–
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: –because it's kind of an excursion, and we're all doing together, if you want to roll help, you have to do it simultaneously.
Amanda: I misunderstood I thought there might be like kind of rounds of combat or like as the situation unfolds, but yeah–
Eric: No, this isn’t Derblins and Derblins!
Amanda: Okay. Carrie-Ann is going to, of course, lend a helping hand so she is going to roll + Cool to help out and give Phoebe +2 if it succeeds.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: And I'm rolling act under pressure?
Eric: Yeah, you're rolling act under pressure.
Julia: Which is Cool, right?
Eric: Which is, was cool.
Amanda: Is cool.
Julia: Cool
Eric: Yeah, so everyone please roll at the same time.
[dice roll]
Amanda: I got a 7. So, Julia, you get +2.
Julia: That's great.
Eric: Your help grants a +1 but you also expose yourself to trouble and danger. Sure.
Julia: Brandon, what did you roll?
Brandon: I rolled a 9 + 1 for 10.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: Awesome, and with Carrie-Ann’s +2, I rolled a 14.
Brandon: Oh, fuck yeah.
Eric: Holy shit.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Alright, while we do this, Les, as you're poking your head down there because remember, you've never been down there by yourself alone. Why don't you ask or read a bad situation questions for me.
Brandon: So because I got to 10 I get to ask 3 of them. I got what's my best way in? What's my best way out? Are there any dangers? We haven't noticed? What's the biggest threat? What's vulnerable to me? Most vulnerable? And what's the best way to protect the victims? So dangers we haven't noticed, probably, right?
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Yeah. I like what’s the best way out? Because if there's a secret way out, I'd love to know that.
Brandon: Yeah, I agree.
Julia: And then what's most vulnerable to me? I think it's also a very good one.
Brandon: What is that referencing in the question like, is it saying like, what on me is vulnerable?
Julia: Like, what are these thing’s weaknesses?
Eric: Yeah, what are its weaknesses. What is the big red button I should be hitting?
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: What's the tum of the bridge?
Eric: Yeah. What is that? What is the tum with the big bandage X on it?
Brandon: What's the best way out? What's the most vulnerable to me? And are there any dangers we haven't noticed?
Eric: Great. The best way out? I would think that as you hop down there, and the three of you are casing the joint, I would say that there is no in or out, it is just the entrance from the cabin.
Brandon: Unless you're Frederick.
Eric: Unless you exactly, unless you're Frederick.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Well, that confirms that then it's a Frederick thing and not a walls thing.
Eric: Yes. I think there's a lot there's like a one-minute sequence of you all rubbing yourself up against the wall for secret passages. Or like Les, you're tapping every single individual brick.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. Like, like looking for a stud.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Carrie’s, like shining a flashlight parallel to the wall trying to like see any like, fissures.
Eric: Yeah. I would say any dangers we haven't noticed is that you were talking about something, some water is blood-like, correct? So I would say to that, that the pool you're looking at the pool, and it's all jacked up from what you all did with the ooze, and there was a noose in it. So it was all green. And maybe there's like some leaves in it. Like when you leave a pool uncovered. That's just like some stuff floats in. But there is a water fountain over there. And I think that Carrie-Ann, in your, in your–
Julia: Quest to hydrate.
Eric: Thank you, in your quest to hydrate, go over the water fountain, you drink it, and it's a real bloody and nasty.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, guys, this. This water is affected too.
Brandon (as Les): Don't, don't, don't drink it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No one's dared me yet. Why would I ever drink water or else I was dared to? Come on!
Julia (as Phoebe): That’s totally fair, Carrie-Ann. Good point.
Eric: It's a great, it's a really good point. I hadn't thought of that.
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann, I don't want to tell you how to live your life. But, you do need to drink when you're thirsty. Just like that's just like a rule of human.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): When I'm thirsty, I eat another waffle and drink apple juice.
Julia (as Phoebe): That makes sense.
Brandon (as Les): Okay, that’s fine.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm sure a doctor would think that's the smart thing to do.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Why would the Camp feed eat us and all waffles if that's not how we're meant to eat?
Julia (as Phoebe): Exactly. That’s what I’ve been saying.
Eric: And the other thing, what's most vulnerable to me? As you're looking around, maybe you have your bow and arrow out maybe all your– all of your weapons out and you're looking around. You're waiting for something to jump at you and Phoebe, you feel something on your foot.
Julia: I look down at it.
Eric: And he looked down and some, it looks like wax paper at your feet and there's like a piece of paper pinned to it.
Julia: I read the piece of paper. Is it a note?
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Okay.
Eric (as Frederick): Frog fact: Frogs shed their skin periodically like most animals, but they don't slough it off and leave it behind. Frogs actually push this shredded skin into their mouth and eat it. Though I did do that for you because I’m leaving you a present so you will remember how you failed. XOXO Frederick.
Brandon (as Les): What an asshole.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. This doesn't count though as thing in Conquest. I am going to take it, this fuck, but okay–
Eric (as Charles): Phoebe, one of the lessons you need to learn is finders keepers, losers weepers.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, Chuck, but does this count towards my thing to enchant my weapon?
Eric (as Charles): I don't. Yes, yes.
Julia (as Phoebe): You told me!
Eric (as Charles): Yes.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): I don’t make the– I told you I'm not the referee. I just, I didn't make-- I'm not the judge. I didn't make up the rules.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): It's your own personal journey.
Julia (as Phoebe): I know. But like you're the one who's putting me on the journey. So maybe you have some advice on the steps.
Eric (as Charles): Phoebe, I need you to start thinking for yourself a little bit more. You can’t just check in with Charles, whatever you'd like.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon: That moose is an asshole, too. Maybe in this universe, all animals are assholes.
Julia: All speaking animals are assholes. Okay, Phoebe's just going to take that, and then like–
Amanda: Carrie-Ann hands you a doggie bag.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: To the like darkness of the American Ninja Warrior gym goes–
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm gonna be back, Frederick. And when I do come back, we're gonna play a game of How Doth the Little Crocodile, and we'll see who wins.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Phoebe, that was sick.
Eric: No one's there to respond. Because no one else is there.
Julia: Great. That's fine. Alright.
Julia (as Phoebe): Let's go. I am so hot, guys. Can we go to the spring?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon: Yeah. Wait, you mean the waterhole? We're not supposed to go to the waterhole.
Julia (as Phoebe): No, not the waterhole, the spring above the waterhole.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, yeah. That's a great idea.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, because that's probably not bloody.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Because if that’s full of blood–
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Let’s do it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): –that's bad.
Eric: Phoebe, I also want to tell you that we'll just do this quickly that if you want to use this to enchant–
Julia: Attune my weapon?
Eric: Your bow, you can.
Julia: Alright, I'm gonna do that.
Eric: Yeah, so Phoebe you can, you can like adorn it with I don't know you do the crafting animation from every MMORPG or from Skyrim
Julia: I twist it into the bowstring.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: I love it.
Eric: It's kind of hard because they were like two little lumps where the big eyes are supposed to be. So it kinda like stick out, but–
Julia: I cut around them with my kitchen knife.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Now, Phoebe, I don't want you to change your mind here. But can I offer you this other alternative, instead of doing this? If you were to go hunt this frog later, you could hunt it while wearing its own skin.
Julia (as Phoebe): That is dope, and I will in fact probably taunt it with that at some point in the future.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Love it.
Eric: So I think that this gives you this makes it ma– your bow is magical.
Julia: Wooo!
Eric: Which kind of ignores some regular stuff and also looks tight as fuck.
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia: Can you just remind me of the tags for the bow?
Eric: Yeah, I think it was just like ranged harm 1, and also like reload because it only has like one, one arrow. So that I would give you the tag of magical which kind of can ignore some like defenses or, or does like particular damage tight.
Julia: Tight. Thank you.
Eric: No problem.
[theme]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. I only have two words to say, apple crumble. That's it. I really want an apple crumble. If anyone's listening and knows me and sees me in real life. Please send me an apple crumble. Amanda, if you're listening, I would love one. Welcome to mid-roll. Make me an apple crumble. This is your final announcement for you to send in your Bones Mail I'm going to say whatever you would like as John Bonez Bones some people have already reached out which is great. I suggest reaching out to us via social media either @jointhepartypod on Twitter @jointhepartypod on Instagram or you can email us at hello@jointhepartypod.com, please. I'll say whatever you want within reason as John Bonez Bones you just got to send it in before we record the after party which is usually on Thursday. So two days after this episode comes out. I need them before then. 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That's like a 300 over 300 hours of episode, which is more what can you do for 300? I feel like you get to become part of a master of what you're doing. If you're at 300 hours more than 300 hours. Imagine you are teaching yourself to woodwork as you're listening to episodes of Spirits, then you're going to be pretty close to becoming a Woodworking Master. What are their most recent episodes, the one with Mara Wilson was incredible. Listen to Mara Wilson talk about how her house was spooky. dive in to spiritspodcast.com or search for Spirits wherever you download your podcasts. We are sponsored this week by the Starseekers’ Guide to Draken Star, a 5th edition compatible campaign setting book based off of the Dungeons and Dragons podcast super quest saga by the folks over at Dungeon Cast. 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[theme]
Eric: So yeah, you want to check out the waterhole?
Julia: Yeah. Cuz it's probably like, not also bloody and great and a good way to cool down.
Brandon: We're gonna go to the spring, but I'm sure we're gonna pass by the waterhole on the way there.
Julia: Right, the spring.
Amanda: Like, do we need to go to the waterfall first and then trace up where the spring originates, or do we know where the spring is?
Eric: I think the easiest way to follow the spring is you got to start at the waterhole.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Let's do it. Yeah.
Eric: So to remind everybody from the earliest episode– Last time on Join the Party– Remember, the thing that you have discovered, although you were not able to maybe run this down, was that the water of the waterhole literally comes from the spring in various ways, right. Like it looked superficial before that like a little spring kind of dribbled into the waterhole, and that was cool and sick. But as Les was deep sea diving, Les discovered that there was like a larger channel up from the spring that actually led down into the waterhole.
Brandon: Right.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: So it's like truly all the water from the waterhole comes from the spring definitively.
Brandon: Love it.
Eric: Also, I want to remind you as you walk up, and as campers are panting and sweating, you see two campers, like kicking a soccer ball to each other and they both fall over because it's so hot.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Drink some water!
Eric (as camper): No.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric (as camper): Okay, fine.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I dare you.
Eric (as camper): Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): Double dog dare. That means you have to drink double the water.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric: A lot of kids are also running around in their swim outfits, their swim trunks and swim tankinis, the one pieces.
Julia: True.
Amanda: Trajes de baño, we know.
Eric: Yes. Thank you. Because they're like, every so often you see one of the kids run up to their counselor and be like–
Eric (as camper): Can we go on the water yet?
Eric: And they're like–
Eric (as counselor): No! It’s been five minutes. I'm so hot.
Brandon: I was gonna say also, I'm sure if we had time, at least Les would have changed it to his his like tank top and swim shorts, and–
Julia: Yeah, I feel like we're all just in our–
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: –swimsuits already underneath our clothes because it’s summer.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, you're right, you’re right.
Amanda: That’s probably like over 90 protocol.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I mean on all all those TV shows everyone has like the I'm super hot outfits that they wear.
Amanda: I was gonna ask earlier like, does Les have a cut off tank top and all the campers pray for a really hot day so they can see it?
Brandon: Hey, Amanda? Yes.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Les is on a crop top tank top and also like 80s or 70s short shorts is like, muah!
Brandon: 100%
Julia: Chef’s kiss.
Brandon: That's exactly what it is.
Amanda: What does Phoebe wear?
Julia: Oh, I think Phoebe has like one of those like very flowy tank tops on top, and then just like some jean shorts.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Like cut off jean shorts.
Amanda: I think Carrie-Ann’s got board shorts and, like cut off camp t shirt that she bought cut off, please. She'd never cut the sleeves, come on, never.
Julia: Of course. Never.
Amanda: Come on.
Brandon: Love it.
Eric: Hell yes. Yeah. So I think that all of you make the long trek across camp all the way over to the waterhole again. It's actually pretty upsetting when there's no campers at the waterhole, it just looks really barren. And not even the incredibly cool loop de loop waterslide, it looks upsetting when no one's using it. You know what I mean?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Though, it also looks like it's from hell, because all of the water in the waterhole and the water on the water slide is a deep red.
Amanda: Hate it.
Julia: Can I go and like touch it and see if it has like the viscosity of blood?
Eric: Sure. Yeah. Who wants to investigate a mystery?
Julia: I'll do it.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: It's + Sharp, right?
Eric: Uhh, yeah + Sharp
[dice roll]
Eric: Unless Les has like a move you want to do.
Brandon: I do want to do maybe the things I've seen. So when I encounter a creature or phenomenon, I assume this is a phenomenon.
Eric: Yes, this is a phenomenon.
Brandon: I can declare that I've seen it before. The keeper may ask me some questions about that encounter, and then the keeper will tell me one useful fact I learned and one danger I need to watch out for.
Eric: Cool. Yeah. What was the last time you saw water that was blood?
Brandon: Yes. So Les says–
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I mean, I've definitely seen this before. I was tracing down some like Dan Brown shit. It turns out it was just some weird, some weird stuff. Nothing to do with religion or anything. But uhh–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Is that your friend?
Brandon (as Les): What?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Is that your friend?
Brandon (as Les): Dan? Dan Brown?
Julia (as Phoebe): At school? Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): No, famous author Dan Brown.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, did he write a book?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): A few. Yeah, I have them if you want. I mean, they’re pretty good. Pretty good.
Julia (as Phoebe): Ehh.
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe has better taste than me. So maybe listen to Phoebe.
Julia (as Phoebe): I mean, it just like, you know, I really thought that there could have been more hot demons in it. And, I don't know. It just wasn't my cup of tea, I guess. Like not my journey personally.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I guess it wasn't your cup of blood. But yeah, I went into this like a church that was having some plumbing issues and went down into their basement and it it turns out, it was just someone was just like trying to prank them. You know, with like, food coloring and and like chocolate syrup. You know?
Eric (as Church prankster): And I would have gotten away with it too. Without you meddling nuns and this boy who believes in monsters.
Julia: I want to see that episode of Scooby Doo.
Brandon (as Les): To be clear, I was not hired to investigate this mystery. I was just snooping.
Julia: The nuns are just really into it, though. They’re like, sure little kid, go for it.
Eric: Sister Josephat led you into the church to figure out the mystery.
Julia: Because you were just so tall. She's like, it's a miracle.
Eric: Yeah, yes, we're-- What do I tell you?
Brandon: So now you tell me one useful fact I learned and one danger. I need to watch out for
Eric: Sure. Don't drink it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cool.
Eric: Even if you think it's not blood, even if it's red. Don't drink it. That's a danger. Don't do it.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I learned that if like I was worried that it was by why– I still was still thinking it was so I learned that you should definitely shouldn't drink blood. Because you don't know where it came from. Could have could have lots of like diseases or parasites or something. Just don't drink it.
Julia: Don't drink blood. You don't know where it came from
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What have you know where it came from? Can you drink it then?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I mean, like, you know, blood pudding’s a thing, right? But–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, good. Okay, phew. good.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Eric: I have so many questions for Carrie-Ann, apparently.
Brandon: I do too.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: I was like leading down and about just like scoop some water up with my hand and then I stopped.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Oh, I'm still gonna touch it.
Eric: No, that's fine. Other thing that you want to know, I think the reason why you track this down is that when water looks like this, whatever, if it's blood, or something else, it doesn't flow correctly, which is important for when you are tracking something you know how usually the rule in camping when you're lost, just follow water and you'll end up with the big water?
Brandon: Right.
Eric: It doesn't flow correctly. So you can't rely on your tracking skills as well.
Brandon: Interesting.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, so I also learned that the the like syrupy stuff wasn't flowing the right way in the pipes so like yeah, don't trust this stuff to like, give you the right direction you know?
Eric: So Phoebe, as you touch it, I would say that it is neither the good clear water of the waterhole nor is it blood or fake blood. It's kind of like water but it's grainy. There seems to be something in it. It's like, you know, when you go to the beach, especially on Long Island, but I know in the various places, maybe all the way up in New England, when like there's stuff in the water. There's just like a lot of junk in it like whether it's algae, or seaweed or salt or trash. It like doesn't feel good. It's like you're walking through rice pudding a little bit.
Julia: Right.
Eric: It feels like that.
Julia: Alright, cool. So it's like a slightly gelatinous?
Eric: I wouldn't say gelatinous more like, there's just particles in the water.
Julia: Is it almost gritty? Or–
Eric: I would say gritty. Yeah.
Julia: Interesting.
Amanda: Can I read a bad situation? Because this isn't how the watering hole is supposed to go, and the watering hole is an important part of camp.
Eric: Sure. Give me, give me a + Sharp.
Amanda: Alright, I got a 5 + 1 for a 6. So that does mean I get to level up at the end of the mystery.
Julia: Yay! Do you want to help action, Amanda? Because if I bring it up to one, then you at least don't totally fail.
Amanda: I would find that helpful.
Julia: Great, and I'm right next to you anyway by the water. So it makes sense.
Eric: Yeah. If you want to, you are exposing yourself though.
Julia: That's fine. Remind me what the thing is for help–
Eric: Help out. You do plus cool.
Julia: Plus cool. Well, I just upgraded that to a 0 instead of a 1. So good luck, us. [dice roll] That is a seven.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Ah, thank you. Good. That brings me up to passing grade.
Julia: Yay.
Amanda: So I get to ask one question. And I would like to know what's the biggest threat here?
Eric: I would say the biggest threat is as you're looking into the water and you're surveying everything. I would say that like–
Amanda: Do you want to know what Carrie does?
Eric: Yeah, like what does it look like when Carrie-Ann surveys?
Amanda: Carrie-Ann gets down on her town right, right in it right next to the watering hole. Puts her nose like one inch above–
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann, no, drink it. Carrie-Ann.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm sniffing!
Julia: Phoebe's just holding your legs to make sure you don't fall in.
Amanda: Yeah, and I'm just sniffing it and I'm looking across the surface of the water. She read a book about how you when you sand walls to paint them you have to like look sideways wants to see any imperfections–
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: –and like looks up at the trees, looks around for like wildlife. Like just trying to see this is not this is supposed to be an oasis of cool and there’s supposed to be you know, birds and squirrels and you know, you like throw your sunflower seeds at the chipmunks and stuff like that. None of that's happening. And so she's just looking around from the perspective of the water to be like what is happening? Where's it coming from? Something is wrong.
Eric: Sure. Why don't you roll your initiate move here?
Amanda: Ooh, yeah. Alright, and then a real + Charm. [dice roll] Oh, excellent. Okay, I got a 9 which means I get a mission associated with the mystery and if I do it I get some info or help.
Eric: I know what it is. Okay, wonderful. I’m gonna hold on to that. Phoebe, can you give me your premonitions?
Julia: Yeah, hold on [dice roll] Oh that is a seven great what do you get was 7.
Eric: Great, what do you get with 7?
Julia: I get clouded images or something bad that is yet to happen, mark experience if you stop it.
Eric: Wonderful. Here's what happens. Carrie-Ann, you're so close to the water, right?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: And Phoebe, you're holding are you holding your feet to keeping her from falling in. Carrie-Ann, you wouldn't be able to tell from any farther away but you can see that the water line is actually dipping down very very slowly. Oh, and you can see that there's a little bit of a current that seems to be going in like a counterclockwise way, back up up the creek.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: So it's like draining back up into the spring?
Eric: Correct.
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: Interesting
Eric: And as you're noticing this and you're you're so close you're concentrated watching the water line you hear–
Eric (as Boo): Angels and Demons is my favorite movie. How dare you!
Eric: And out of Les’ backpack climbs Boo.
Julia: What?!
Eric: Who then pushes Phoebe into the water.
Julia: What?
Amanda: No!
Brandon: What the hell?!
Eric (as Boo): How dare you
Brandon (as Les): Get– get– what? Get out of a backpack! What do you doing, don't push her!
Eric (as Boo): I am out of my bag out of your backpack. I already did the thing you wanted.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, hold him!
Amanda: And Carrie-Ann swoops in to help push Phoebe out.
Eric: Phoebe as you're in the water. You hit the water and everything around you is like a dark red, which is so upsetting and disturbing, and you feel-- this isn't like your other premonitions. This feels like you're already living it. You feel lost. You feel like you don't know which way is up because you don't understand the colors that are around you. It doesn't look like real life and like someone through a sepia tone filter over it and you can't figure out, you've used color for so much to figure out how everything works and you can't figure it out, and this feeling is sticking with you and you're like, uh-oh this is going to happen again to me.
Julia (as Phoebe): Great.
Eric: The color is going to change and you're going to be lost.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cool.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: And a hand is then extended it to the red water for you.
Julia: And Phoebe grabs it and pulls.
Amanda: Yeah, I pull her out.
Brandon: Yeah, I'm gonna rush over and help–
I’m like–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Spit! Spit! Don’t swallow any water!
Eric (as Boo): Dan Brown is a national treasure. I read all his books multiple times.
Brandon (as Les): Boo! Stop talking right now. Go sit down on the grass right there.
Eric (as Boo): No, I hate all of you. Why would you talk about America's sweetheart like that?
Eric: As Boo runs into the woods.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I gotta get him.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, let's go.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, that little child is so lucky that I like him.
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe, are you okay?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe, here take my towel.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm just, ugh, God.
Eric: Brandon, is this because you go everywhere with the towel?
Brandon: Mhm.
Eric: Okay, great.
Brandon: I've been waiting to say that for like 20 minutes
Julia (as Phoebe): I just feel so gritty right now and not like the cool like, like sexy YA novel kind of way.
Brandon (as Les): The mascot?
Julia (as Phoebe): What?
Eric (as Boo): No, no one's able to follow me. My mom has been upset for multiple days and I feel like you're all involved.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Boo. If you get lost or hurt your mom is gonna kill me.
Eric (as Boo): Good! Ehh!
Eric: Boo hustle hustles into the woods. That is your challenge that Boo knows that his mom is upset and you need to do something to make, at least get something that might be make her feel better.
Amanda: Great.
Julia: Is he going in the direction that we were gonna go?
Eric: Correct. Yes.
Julia: Okay, that's something at least.
Eric: He is running– he's like scrambling up the hill leading into the woods as the brook kind of, I guess it's trickling or it's not streaming anymore.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It's kind of like going back up the brook.
Julia (as Phoebe): That's messed up, man.
Amanda: Yeah, Carrie shares her observation of course about the river flow and is like,
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, how could you not notice a 55 pound child in your backpack?
Brandon (as Les): My book is really heavy. I don't know.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, my god.
Julia (as Phoebe): I mean, look at him, Carrie-Ann, he's so tall.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Do you have like a watermelon in there too? To lure him back?
Brandon (as Les): That’s actually a good idea. Yeah. I assume there's not a literal watermelon in my backpack, Eric?
Eric: No, there is not. Congratulations. This is what-- your child is one cursed magic book of weight.
Amanda: Eric, can I try to manipulate someone?
Eric: Yeah, who are you trying to manipulate?
Amanda: I would love to try to manipulate Boo and say–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Hey, you want to go get watermelon and candy from the– from the commissary? Want to tell me more about about your friend, Dan?
Julia (as Phoebe): National Treasure, Dan Brown.
Eric (as Boo): America's sweetheart, Dan Brown!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, I don't know him.
Eric (as Boo): No!
Eric: I don't think you're gonna be able to charm him. Because Boo has already run into the woods. I think the only thing to do is run–
Julia: Because Boo is a monster or a minion of some kind.
Eric: No, Boo is not a monster minion of some kind.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: You have to-- you have to run after him.
Amanda: Very well. Let's do it.
Brandon: No, can I? I don't know what moves up but just like use my hunting gear to sort of like track him so we know the right direction?
Eric: That is a great question. Good idea, Brandon. I actually have a move for all of you that I've created for this mastery.
Everyone: Oooh!
Eric: This is called The Woods. To navigate the woods everyone rolls + Sharp. Les, you get an additional +1 because you're good at tracking.
Brandon: Yey!
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Before you use this roll, you may all use other moves to possibly aid you in this roll. But of course much like everything else, you're exposing yourself to more danger or things accordingly. So I will tell you what happens when you roll the various things. Each of you need to roll individually because you need to navigate the woods as it is.
Julia: Sure.
Amanda: Sure. So one of my moves a Sacred Oath meaning that when I'm pursuing my goal of upholding camp I get +1 forward. I think keeping Boo safe is like the most direct version of this that I have in front of me.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Of like keeping my standing and keeping the director proud.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: So I would love plus one forward on anything related to keeping Boo safe or following him.
Eric: I would not say lowkey going through the woods necessarily gives you +1 but you can keep that if you're directly helping Boo–
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: I will give you +1 that that for sure.
Amanda: Got it
Eric: But just remind me as you're doing it.
Brandon: Julia's vibing
Julia: Just vibing and and keeping it tight because your girl rolled a 5.
Eric: Nice. Alright.
Julia: Mark experience
Eric: Mark experience, please.
Brandon: I'm not going to use any other move, I'm just gonna roll my straight up +2
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: Devils titties. I got a 12 + 1 for a 13.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Nice!
Brandon: Oh, I got a 5 + 2 for 7. So it makes mixed success.
Eric: Okay, wonderful. We'll go into descending order here. And we'll start with Carrie-Ann, because Carrie-Ann rolled a 13. The 13, you follow the trail and you keep the group together.
Amanda: Oh great.
Eric: Choose a characteristic close to you. Is there someone who will not get lost? I'm going to disqualify Phoebe because Phoebe failed. Did you want Les to stay close to you or do you want Boo to stay close to you?
Amanda: Boo is my priority, sorry guys.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: That’s right.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: We get it
Eric: Alright, as all three of you sprint Into The Woods. Les, you're incredibly long legs gets you way ahead of everyone else–
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: –and Phoebe you're incredibly short legs gets you way behind everyone else.
Julia: I don't have short legs. I have normal legs.
Eric: I– well listen, it's all relative.
Julia: Normal legs!
Eric: Sorry, let me rephrase this, Phoebe, you're incredibly bookish legs, makes you find everywhere everyone else--
Julia: That’s fine.
Eric: And Carrie-Ann, you're so laser focused on Boo that you're just running after that screaming child who has memorized positive reviews of Angels and Demons and the Da Vinci Code–
Julia: Oh, my god.
Amanda: Great.
Brandon: He’s reciting Amazon reviews like in by memory as he's running through the woods.
Eric (as Boo): This is five stars. From 1000 books a day expert, Dan Brown captivates you from the page one and the mysteries are not too hard, like the liberal elites.
Julia (as Phoebe): What?
Eric: Because you got over a 12, Carrie-Ann, as you're running through the woods, you grabbed the back of Boo’s shirt, and he's swinging wildly.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Boo): No, I want to be alone!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Too bad.
Eric: And you also run into something that is valuable or helpful. What is it, as you're running through the woods?
Amanda: Can I like get a glimpse of the spring further toward its origin so that we can like double check our direction if the water flow is a little bit thrown off, and there's like the distraction of Boo, I just want kind of confirmation that we're heading in the right direction.
Eric: I'll give you that.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: That is not valuable or helpful. That's regular. That you you have that with a 12, you're on a path and you are still on the trail of the of the spring.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Is there something else that is valuable or helpful that you want to read into?
Amanda: Do any of the trees or birds or mushrooms are they acting different?
Eric: That's a great question.
Julia: Carrie-Ann finds a magic mushroom.
Brandon: Carrie-Ann is high for like 12 hours.
Julia: Carrie-Ann hangs out with a caterpillar.
Eric: Is that part of your like camp training?
Amanda: I have a journal about like how tall the dandelion should be on the fifth Monday of camp, you know? And like what color the mushrooms should be and exactly what kind of what layers of birdsong like sound like camp to me. Is something different? Like as I stand there, just hold Boo out like like a wet cat.
Eric (as Boo): Ehhhh!
Amanda: Is anything different? Is anything wrong?
Eric: Well, I think the main thing that's wrong is there is like a two foot tall fairy with big old monarch butterfly wings who was pouring a bucket into the spring.
Brandon: I thought you were gonna legitimately say, well, the main thing is wrong is that the water is blood.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: No, because I'm not an asshole, Brandon. Yeah, you look up there's like a fairy. Straight up Tinkerbell ass fairy, monarch butterfly wings, who has like a regular bucket and it's pouring some red stuff into the spring.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Hi, I'm Carrie-Ann you shouldn't be doing that.
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): I'm Monarch butterfly fairy and you don't get to tell me what I can do and cannot do.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Aren't you out of season? Shouldn't you be migrating down from Canada right now?
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): I couldn't make it to Canada, I had work.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, but um, what's that stuff you're pouring in?
Brandon (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): I ran out of PTO.
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): None of your business. It's fairy stuff.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I actually work here at camp and you are taking away the main source we have to keep our kids cool and safe.
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): Oh, you work in the camp where they hid-- where they catch butterflies in jars and then keep them in large wooded structures and then don't feed them? Sounds bad.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I don't think we do that.
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): I disagree.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, well, I'll make sure they don't because that’d be messed up.
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): Thank you. I still don't like you. So I'm ending this conversation.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That's fine. Cuz just like pour your red stuff elsewhere?
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): No.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Is it like blood?
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): Get fucked, moderately aged, not yet a woman but not actually a girl human.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Excuse me, don’t remark on someone else’s body.
Eric: And then the Fairy drops the bucket and flies away.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Hey!
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): Fuck you!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Whoa!
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): I'm at work! Don’t talk to me while I’m at work! Its customers. I'm not customer service.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): The customer’s always wrong when you’re a bad fairy!
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): [as he gets farther] Humans are the worst!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Come down here and tell that to my face!
Eric (as Monarch Butterfly Fairy): No, how about no?
Eric: As he gets farther and farther away, just flies away. But they did leave the bucket. They dropped the bucket, they dropped the bucket.
Julia: What’s in the bucket?
Amanda: I'm gonna look at the bucket, and then look at Boo and say–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Are we going to tell your mom about any other words you heard today?
Eric (as Boo): [as he’s panting] I was too busy screaming, I didn't hear what was happening. Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Excellent. Okay.
Eric: Boos eyes and fists were clenched so hard and he was screaming that he didn't hear any of that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Best friends?
Amanda: And I want to like echolocate.
Brandon: And yeah, my ears perked up like a dog.
Eric: Oh, y'all not hear that.
Brandon: Oh, really?
Eric: No, y'all do not hear that.
Julia: I'm very lost. I don't know about you. I'm very lost.
Eric: Best friends, friends, friends! They echos into the woods. Maybe a bird goat goes ca-caw!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Best friends?
Eric: Let's see what's going on with Les. Hey, Les. will you roll a D6 for me?
Brandon: Just one? 3.
Eric: Great, Les, as you're sprinting forward, because you know, you're only two speeds are crawling on your belly and sprinting as fast as possible.
Brandon: Yes, you gotta conserve energy for vast bursts of movement.
Eric: Yeah, and you bust through the undergrowth. And you're actually at the base of a very large tree. And you look up and there is like a Swiss Family Robinson looking tree house–
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: –up in the tree. And I say that because it has, like, you know, all those technologies that are recreated with plants but are not technologies? Like there's a pneumatic tube that's going all over the treehouse. There's like a winch that goes up and down.
Brandon: Yeah!
Eric: There’s is a TV that's made out of wood that has two squirrels fighting in it.
Julia: Incredible.
Brandon: That's cool as hell.
Amanda: Actual dream.
Brandon: Oh, I know. Yeah, me too. Less is immediately thinking of the Swiss Family Robinson tree at Disneyworld.
Julia: Yeah, 100%.
Brandon: And it's very tempting do I– does he see anything? Like any life forms or anything besides the squirrels? Like is there any movement? Or is it just sort of like, it seemed empty right now?
Eric: Not up in the tree. I think at the base of the tree you do see some sparking. Like some lights that seemed to be like around kind of– the tree is quite big. So it's kind of on the other side, you only see like the the illumination of some actual, like, mechanics going on, like real, real mechanics. And you hear the banging of like, hammer on metal.
Brandon: That's weird. Can I go investigate the direction of that?
Eric: Yeah. Do you want to like sneak up? What do you want to do? You just want to like walk over friendly, how do you how do you want to do it?
Brandon: I mean, out in the open like, I'm not going to try to be a threat but cautiously–
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Like slowly, footsteps.
Eric: Yeah, I think you walk over and you see there is a person with a, like a big welding mask on trying to weld some metal together.
Brandon: Les says very loudly.
Brandon (as Les): Hello! Umm… Hi? Hello?
Eric (as Mavis): Oh, hold on. I gotta turn off the blowtorch. It's super loud.
Eric: She screws up the blowtorch.
Eric (as Mavis): Hold on, stranger.
Eric: Lifts the welding mask of any of this. You see, this is a black woman with a shaved head. She's wearing like cover a full coveralls and a cut off T shirt underneath, and she pulls like a really, really loud and decorative bandana off. And pats her face. And she says–
Eric (as Mavis): Oh, this is incre-- I wasn't anticipating another other person. This is great. Hello.
Brandon (as Les): I wasn't either. What’re you building? It looks cool. Can I kind of look?
Eric (as Mavis): Oh, yeah, you know, it's something I'm just kind of tooling around with. You know, do you remember the movie? Jurassic Park?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. It came out either in 20 years, or 20 years ago.
Eric (as Mavis): Exactly. Yeah, I'm kind of doing that.
Eric: And you're looking at it and it's just like the top half of a T Rex.
Julia: What?
Eric: Like a mechanical T Rex.
Brandon (as Les): You're, you're just making a dinosaur?
Eric (as Mavis): Yeah. You know, I'm just like, it's just kind of what I'm doing and kind of what I'm putting together. Hi. Oh, it's super nice to meet you. I'm Mavis Beacon.
Eric: And she extends her hand to you.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, super nice to meet you.
I shake her hands. Have you ever built like a water monster?
[Mavis breathes out]
Eric (as Mavis): [quietly] Water monster?
Julia: Plesiosaur?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, like a plesiosaur kind of thing?
Eric (as Mavis): I mean, I wish I was worried– maybe, you know, you just spend so much time out here and you don't you only have like a wooden clock and a squirrel clock. You only have the sun to deal with stuff and the sun kind of moves in different directions. It's hard for me to remember all the things that I have and have not done so I'm gonna give you a strong maybe.
Brandon (as Les): Yes. Got it. On that note, can I move in? Because this place is the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Eric (as Mavis): No, unfortunately, it is my house and only I'm allowed to live here. That's just like the kind of thing–
Brandon (as Les): Got it.
Eric (as Mavis): –that I have, I need to have my personal space. Listen, I didn't-- I spent a lot of time. I worked in a public high school for 50 years, teaching people typing.
Julia: Damn.
Eric (as Mavis): I was the typing teacher and this is my retirement. I'm just kind of in the middle of nowhere.
Brandon: Does was this person look like they might be, you know,
Julia: Seventy years old?
Brandon: Minimum in their 60s or 70s?
Eric: No, maybe 40, if that.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: So is that just a lie or they look really good for their age?
Eric: It's a good question, Julia.
Eric (as Mavis): Where– I listen, no one– I don’t remember the last time that that a person ran up on me like this? How did you make it through the woods?
Brandon (as Les): I mean, I have a lot of experience. I'm like, do you know Camp, you know your next Camp Diogenes, right? Camp Die?
Eric (as Mavis): Oh. I mean, yes? I'm gonna give you another strong maybe on that.
Brandon (as Les): Well, yeah, I mean, you are you're really close. And I am one of the the trooper so like, I take the campers out into the woods. So like, I know these woods pretty well.
Eric (as Mavis): Cool.
Brandon (as Les): I'm not bragging. Just like that's how I got through the woods.
Eric (as Mavis): No, it's fine. I didn't know that you had that power, that’s wonderful. I mean, could you can you help me find my way out?
Brandon (as Les): Can you not? I to-- Yeah, I can try.
Eric (as Mavis): Okay. What?
Brandon (as Les): Power?
Eric (as Mavis): Ability?
Brandon (as Les): Well, those are two that– okay, so the word ability, in my recollection has could like have two different meanings.
Eric (as Mavis): Sure. Listen, I wasn't an English teacher. I just did typing in tech, and I taught people how to use CAD. Do you know that? It's kind of like a design tool?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, it was either invented 20 years ago or invented in 20 years.
Eric (as Mavis): Yeah, exactly.
Brandon (as Les): That honestly, that sounds really cool. I want to be friends if you would like to. I would love to learn stuff from you. But in the moment, I do need to go find my friends. I think.
Eric (as Mavis): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): I think they were lost in the woods, too. We were chasing a little boy. But I can if you want to follow me I can try to get us out of here.
Eric (as Mavis): You know what, after you figure all of that out, why don't you just come back here and we'll– we'll be able to figure it out? You know if I live so close to camp. I didn't know. Camp Die, man. I remember that. Yeah, that's good. That's good stuff. I didn't know it was that close. Yeah, just just find your way back.
Brandon (as Les): Okay.
Eric (as Mavis): I gotta I got a lot of stuff I got to work on. I gotta finish this whole T Rex. I got to figure-- I need to, you know, requisition some energy source. I– there's a lot of stuff I have to do. So you did just come back.
Brandon (as Les): Okay. Yeah. It was really nice to meet you.
Eric (as Mavis): And it was nice to meet you?
Brandon (as Les): Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude of me. My name is Les.
Eric (as Mavis): Ha-ha! I took your name. It's mine now. Now my name is Les. I'm just kidding. I'm Mavis Beacon. It's nice to meet you.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I– I– You're cool. You're cool. I like you a lot.
Eric (as Mavis): Thank you. I like you too. Les. You seem like an upstanding young man.
Brandon (as Les): Thank you.
Eric (as Mavis): Man? Person? Thing? I'm gonna give you a strong maybe on that. Alright, I'll take care of I'll get to here a word come back now, you hear? Alright.
Brandon (as Les): Okay. Okay.
Brandon: Les is gonna sort of walk backwards out like about facing Mavis.
Eric (as Mavis): Alright, see you later.
Brandon: Can I like sort of try to make a mark somewhere like on the outside of this area?
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: I can either build a quick Stone Johnny or like do something to mark it?
Eric: Yeah, no problem.
Amanda: Yeah, buddy.
Julia: This woman is lost to us. She is in the weird time soup forest and we're never gonna see her again.
Brandon: Yeah, never gonna find her again.
Amanda: She is A Wrinkle in Time, Julia.
Julia: I mean, we like we literally saw this when you were trying to follow the director in and out of the woods. The Woods is soup, the woods is soup.
Eric: Speaking in the woods that soup, Phoebe.
Julia: Hey!
Eric: Oh, Phoebe. Can you roll a one D6 for me real quick?
Brandon: It's tomato bisque.
Julia: I rolled a 6.
Eric: You rolled a 6?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: The Woods is chowder. It's like pretty viscous with a lot of stuff in it.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: Like a like a loaded potato soup.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Just questionable seafood in it.
Eric: Phoebe, you are immediately all alone. You look around, everything is green. Every new you're not see anyone else. I don't know how, how Les, Carrie-Ann and a seven year old outran you but you just got too tired too fast because you read too many books.
Julia (as Phoebe): Famously, that’s why.
Eric: Famously, you're an endurance runner in that because you have the books out of your bag but you can't run you're not a sprinter you don't run after.
Amanda: Great arm strength for holding a book above her face in bed, but the legs, not so much.
Eric: Yeah, because you rolled a 6 or less, you do something that only makes this worse. What is it?
Julia: I pa– I panic.
Eric: Cool. What does that look like for you?
Julia: Phoebe probably just like wanders in a circle for a little bit, and then looks around the forest and then just sits down.
Brandon: Oh!
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh god. Oh, no. Nothing looks familiar. I forgot everything they taught us at tripper camp. Oh!
Eric: That's unfortunate. Phoebe, as you sit there you don't know how long you sit there because there's so many trees out here it just kind of blocks out the sun. You don't even hear the babbling of the stream anymore. You don't know what time it is or what time it is later on. It's just like you're just in the woods now.
Julia (as Phoebe): Chuck? I know you told me that I need to be a little bit more self-reliant and a go-getter, but I could really use some help right now.
Eric: Roll + Weird.
Amanda: Yeah. Love this
Julia: . Ooh, baby. That is a 12
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Plus 2 for a 14
Eric: Let's fucking go, you got the devil titties, too?
Julia: I got the devil titties!
Eric: Oh, damn.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Alright. Well, so you hear not in your head but out loud.
[Julia gasps]
Eric (as Charles): Oh, Phoebe, I told you that you needed to rely on yourself. You can't just lean, you just can't lean on me.
Eric: And it's out into the woods. There is, you are kind of on a path. But this is out in the woods off the path like through a bunch of overgrowth.
Julia: Phoebe stands up, like scrambles up, looks at the path, looks to where the voice was coming from and then just springs into the overgrowth.
Amanda: Yeah!
[theme]
Transcriptionist: KM