The Council is waiting. Everyone is there.
Housekeeping
- This is the last episode of House Party. An epilogue will be coming out in two weeks (12/10/2019), with a giant Afterparty After the End of the World two weeks after that (12/23/2019). Get your questions in now.
- Join the Party is not over! We will be starting a new campaign after this one ends. Tell your friends.
- Our Patreon page and patron-only Discord will stay as active as ever, so join up now if you’d like to be the first to hear about updates on the new campaign.
Multitude
- Grab your tickets now to see us live in Austin on February 27, 2020! Head to multitude.productions/live today.
- Did you know our NYC podcast studio is now available for rent? Check it out at multitude.productions/studio, and read how we built it on our Medium page.
- Get your Join the Party enamel pins, Eric’s Labor Party modules, and new merch for all Multitude podcasts at multitude.productions/merch! Our TeePublic (jointhepartypod.com/merch) will remain up through the end of January 2020.
Sponsors
- Twenty Sided Store, the best indie game store in Brooklyn. Get 20% off your online or in-store order with code JOINTHEPARTY.
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Find Us Online
- website: jointhepartypod.com
- patreon: patreon.com/jointhepartypod
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- instagram: instagram.com/jointhepartypod
- tumblr: jointhepartypod.tumblr.com
- music: brandongrugle.bandcamp.com
Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master: Eric Silver
- TR8c (Tracey): Brandon Grugle
- Inara Harthorn: Amanda McLoughlin
- Creative Contributors: Connor McLoughlin, Heddy Hunt, Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that everyone from seasoned players to true beginners can enjoy. Where else can you get adventure, intrigue, magic, drama, and lots of high fives all in one place? Right here.
After each episode we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play Dungeons & Dragons and other roleplaying games at home. We also have the Punchbowl, an interview series with people pushing D&D forward creatively, communally and socially. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party…
Eric: The party challenges the Triumvirate gods to get the chance to fight the Council of Bright and change the fate of the world. Unfortunately for them, the gods got to pick the challenges.
The god of creation D’var challenges Alonzo to an art conjuration competition. You know regular stuff. D’var paints with an experienced flurry, but somehow get sidetracked from some disturbances in the crowd. Alonzo, on the other hand, gets in the zone.
Eric: And then there’s fifteen Alonzo’s in sync dancing their fucking hearts out.
Eric: Inara’s challenge against the god of the living Adamah is less of a game and more of a negotiation. The god asks Inara to give something up in exchange for easy passage. And Inara gives up what she prizes most of all.
Inara: I can give you my calling. I’ll leave the Assassin’s Guild.
Eric: As for Tracey and the god of death Ze’ol… well, there was a game of High Card that Ze’ol was trying to play, but Tracey was more concerned with fulfilling his ultimate destiny and blowing Ze’ol’s head off. He slotted five batteries into his blaster and loaded up the most powerful shot imaginable but… at the last second, Adamah steps in.
Eric (as Adamah): Tracey I know what’s going to happen next. You’re going to take a shot wide left, and you’re going to destroy everything except for Ze’ol. So I’m going to make you a deal.
Eric: In exchange for blowing up Ze’ol, Tracey gives up other people’s memories of him. If they beat the Council, only Inara, Alonzo, Greg and Oatcake will recognize him.
Wow, what’s that? It’s boss battle music. Let’s get the party started.
[theme music]
Eric: Back in reality, in the highest room, in the biggest castle, in the most confusing place possible, you two hear big band music coming from down the hall. The Council of Bright is having a party. It looks like you’re invited.
Brandon (as Tracey): Duh… I lost my invite, did you get yours Inara?
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, I just assumed that kinda got lost in the mail? You can’t really have a party without inviting us, right?
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, it’s kinda rude…
Amanda (as Inara): I know. Champion of the Realm, I mean, what the hell?
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah!
Eric (as Alonzo): I don’t…I was locked up recently, so I do not know really what’s happening at the moment.
Amanda (as Inara): Using humor to lighten the situation, Alonzo.
Eric (as Alonzo): Cool. Okay, cool. Great. Um, so what are we doing? Are we just, are we all just hanging out or?
Brandon (as Tracey): Uh, we’re going to go um, trap the Council back in its astral prison forever and for all time.
Eric (as Alonzo): Nice. Cool, cool, cool.
Amanda (as Inara): Mhm.
Eric (as Alonzo): Cool, I like that.
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, and saving the world, and fixing and righting everything and being the god-like champions that we are.
Eric (as Alonzo): Cool, I like that.
Amanda (as Inara): And then, you know, the fame and fortune. You know, attention. That kind of thing.
Eric (as Alonzo): I’m a big fan.
Brandon (as Tracey): Tea. Making a lot of tea.
Eric (as Alonzo): [slightly confused] I mean…I guess. Yeah sure, okay. Yeah, great. Uh…okay. How are we doing that? Again, I’m just going to…I’ve been, I’ve been a little out of the loop lately.
Amanda (as Inara): Uh, why don’t we check in with Franny. Just to warn you Alonzo…she…
Eric (as Alonzo): Who?
Amanda (as Inara): …is a little bit different. Oh, that’s right, you don’t know Franny! Aw, it’s been so long!
Brandon (as Tracey): [while chuckling] Oh, well then she’ll seem normal to you!
Amanda (as Inara): She’ll seem really normal to you, just know that that is weird.
Eric (as Alonzo): Why, uh, I have another follow up question, why is uh the Bachelorette and a contestant on the Bachelorette also here?
Eric: And then Chad says,
Eric (as Chad): I was here for love!
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: And Brink also says,
Eric (as Brink): I was also…I think I was there for love? I…It’s not very clear to me anymore.
Brandon (as Tracey): You weren’t…
Eric (as Brink): I don’t think I was.
Amanda (as Inara): Nope, I don’t think so.
Brandon (as Tracey): You found it!
Eric (as Brink): I guess.
Amanda (as Inara): [hisses] Tracey!
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon (as Tracey): Oh, am I not supposed to know?
Amanda (as Inara): [conclusively] Okay!
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda: Inara pulls the bag of talkin out of her pocket um and opens it up.
Eric: Alright the jewelry bag jingles a little bit, and um, you’re looking in on Franny. Who is now fully dressed like Mary Poppins.
Amanda (as Inara): [distraught] Franny?! What happened!?
Eric (as Franny): [muffled, still not herself] You know, child, it just sort of happened to me. I wasn’t trying and now all of a sudden, I have an umbrella!
Brandon (as Tracey): I do prefer this to the no pants situation from before.
Eric (as Franny): Now I have too many pants! It just pinafores all the way down!
Amanda (as Inara): Uh, Franny…?
Eric (as Franny): Pip pip!
Amanda (as Inara): So…
Eric (as Franny): I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say!
Amanda (as Inara): Don’t worry, I can talk instead. We…
[Eric laughs heartily]
We kind of and temporarily killed Ze’ol. Oh, yeah…Chad, Brinks, that is what happened.
Eric (as Chad): Uh...oh! That seems bad for the foundation of our universe!
Brandon (as Tracey): I have his head in a jar though.
Eric (as Chad): That also seems bad for the foundation of our universe.
Brandon (as Tracey): Well…
Amanda (as Inara): It wasn’t my call, but you know, here we are. Isn’t that adulthood, aren’t I right? Franny, can you drop those extra items through that we left with you? The Mouthpiece and the Boots?
Eric (as Franny): Poppet! I can do you one better!
Eric: And, uh…
[Brandon giggles]
Amanda: [whispers] This is horrible.
Eric: The jewelry bag is kind of on a side table and you see that Franny leans over and puts something down and just the clinking of a cup and a saucer…
Amanda: It’s horrible!!
Brandon (as Tracey): Do you have tea?!
Eric (as Franny): It’s all I drink now! I hate it, I hate what my life has become!
Brandon (as Tracey): Oh I like this Franny.
Eric: And, uh, she…
Amanda: I grab Brinks’ hand for support.
Eric: [chuckles] She puts her hand into the jewelry bag and that you can see that the hand is now coming out at you. And you can see her elbow, and just her full shoulder, and Franny like pushes her way through this jewelry bag.
Amanda (as Inara): [hesitant] Oh…I…oh…
Brandon (as Tracey): This is bad…this is bad.
Eric: And then Franny fully ends up on your side of the world, her foot is a little stuck and she has to jingle her little old lady Mary Janes. But, eventually she, uh, she lands carefully in front of Inara.
Amanda (as Inara): Um, great to see you. Items though?
Eric (as Franny): Oh! Hold on.
Eric: And she climbs back.
Eric (as Franny): I’m just kidding! Humor keeps me young.
Eric: Her dress has pockets, and she takes out the…
Amanda: Not all is lost.
Eric: Very, they’re super deep pockets and she takes out the Boots from one pocket and the Liar’s Mouthpiece from the other.
Amanda (as Inara): See honey, I told you! Not all is lost.
Brandon (as Tracey): What do we do with them…? They like click together like a puzzle?
Eric: Why don’t you both make an Arcana check?
[dice rolls]
Brandon: [excitedly] 16 + 2 for 18!
Amanda: [sadly] I got a 7.
Eric: [chuckles] Um, Tracey with an 18 you can’t figure this out on your own. It…the way that you put this all together, is that somehow, hopefully by getting the Council of Bright to stay in one place for an extended period of time, you will be able to trap him once again with the astral prison if like you’re making the Concentration spell and have all five of the items together.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Yeah. The only person who could be able to do this is Franny. She’s the only one with enough innate like magic running through her? Like cosmic magic? The fact that she has been inviting all of this uh Undying Light energy, she seems to be the only one who can hold this together for you.
Amanda: She’s pretty much like pickles in it.
Eric: Yeah, she’s just like brining…marinating in the energy of the universe. So she seems to be the only one who can concentrate and be able to get all of this done.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Other people may be able to do this, but right now all you got is Franny.
Eric (as Franny): And that’s the end of that!
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: So Franny uh, takes the other items from you and tucks it into her oversized grandma purse and says,
Eric (as Franny): I’m going to hold onto these for you, and when we get there, I will take care of it. Don’t worry.
Amanda (as Inara): Take care of, like, the imprisoning the Council thing?
Eric (as Franny): Absitively!
Brandon (as Tracey): You know you can’t kill him right now, so…just-just the prison.
Eric (as Franny): Killing him? Even if I wanted to send him to the Great Beyond, I wouldn’t be able to in the first place.
Brandon (as Tracey): Okay.
Eric (as Franny): Wouldn’t be good. Death is not good enough for him.
Amanda (as Inara): We could not agree more. I’m glad to hear you say something so metal.
[Brandon giggles]
Eric: So yeah, that’s pretty much all you have to do. Basically, the point is, you’re going to have to get him to stay prone in some way for a whole turn.
Amanda: Can…okay. So if you were a rich monarch, I don’t know, Brandon…?
Brandon: I am.
Amanda: What would you want to do with your time? Would you get really bored and beg for your mom and dad to buy you an arcade cabinet and they’re like no, just go to Döove and Böosters. And then maybe they make you a little secret door to Döove and Böosters?
Brandon: Probably.
Amanda: Can I roll Investigation on secret doors that are, I don’t know, kenku-sized?
Eric: Uh, yeah…you can totally investigate for it. Gotta be a high roll though.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Is a, 28 high enough?
Eric: [cackles] Oh, holy shit!
Brandon: Seems like a pretty high number…
Amanda: It seems, I don’t know, I mean, I’m not a math major but that seems pretty high.
Eric: [resigned] Okay…[chuckles] um, with a 28, so your party is skulking down through the hallway, getting closer and closer to this big band music, and you’re-you’re putting your hands out looking for a secret door.
Amanda: Uh huh.
Eric: And, um…Inara you’re hand pushes against the wainscoting at the bottom and your hand like catches on something. And you pull it up and it reveals like this very small secret door. Uh, it’s like one foot tall, but like, it’s very very very narrow.
Amanda: I open it and put my eye up to it.
Eric: You put your eye up to it, and you see that there is a uh there’s a bunch of trick mirrors everywhere. Someone has fitted a bunch of mirrors just inside of this tiny compartment so that only if you’re looking right at it, you can see a message that’s on the far back wall. Only if you have your eye really pressed to it, as close as you can. And it says, ‘Why are you looking at this? You have more important things to do.’
Brandon: [laughs] Why did someone take the time to install that?
Eric: And then from directly behind you Inara, you hear the sound of a banjo.
[banjo plays]
Amanda: I turn around to look.
Eric: Valentine, it’s just kind of standing there looking at you. And Tracey you turn around and Valentine is just standing there.
Brandon (as Tracey): [surprised] Oh my god, where did you come from?!
Eric: Everyone is just like, oh my god!
Amanda: Valentine I’m so glad to see you. You’re about to do, I don’t know, the biggest battle of all of our lives. If I walk out alive, I’ll be pretty happy. We need all the reinforcements we can get. We need Autumn, we need Tammy and Taylor. This is bigger than…than anything. Send anyone you have.
Eric: Valentine thinks for a moment and opens their mouth and in succession, makes the sound of a rope ladder being unfurled and then a window breaking and then over exaggerated sneaking feet, and then you going, ‘Valentine’! and then Tracey going, AHHH!
Amanda: Not going to lie, not sure how to interpret that, but um, thank you. I know you will do your best.
Eric: And then they open their mouth again and you hear the sound of like ten doors closing at the same time.
[doors clicking shut]
Brandon: Are there already reinforcements, is that what they’re saying? Did they bring them?
Amanda: Or there’s no way we can do this, so all of the doors are closing behind you. [chuckles] I can’t tell.
Eric: Here’s the deal, here’s my secret. Because you rolled so high, Valentine had been sneaking behind you the entire time. Valentine followed you out. There’s no way to get reinforcements. They climbed up on the rope ladder, broke the window and were sneaking up behind you.
[Brandon mumbles in understanding]
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Um, over loudspeaker you hear the Council of Bright says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [over speaker] Oh! If only all of my party guests could come! Then we could really start this shindig off! If only…
Amanda (as Inara): Go fuck yourself!
[Eric sighs]
Brandon (as Tracey): There will be no sneaking.
Amanda (as Inara): Let’s go.
Eric: Alright. So, your band of, it’s not even fair to call you all misfits at this point. Of…
Amanda: We belong together Eric, even if nowhere else.
Eric: Of square pegs for round holes.
Brandon: [chuckles] Chads.
Eric: Just all of you Chads. You walk down this long hallway…
Brandon (as Tracey): Inara, are we going to say anything cool when we walk in or?
Amanda (as Inara): Uh, I don’t know, I haven’t been thinking about it that much.
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, I haven’t either. I don’t…I don’t know.
Amanda (as Inara): How about like, stop the music!
Brandon (as Tracey): I like it. Drop, drop, drop the mic! [mumbles] That doesn’t work…it’s not, it’s nothing.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda (as Inara): Your…your reign is over. And then make it rain blood.
Brandon (as Tracey): I like that a lot.
Amanda (as Inara): Okay.
Eric: So as you two are communicating [laughing] trying to figure out sick things to say as you walk into the door, each step you take, the sound of the big band music just gets louder and louder and louder. It’s like every few feet they’re adding a new instrument. There’s another horn in the horn section. There’s another stand up bass now. There’s two drummers, then three drummers.
[big band music plays]
Brandon: It’s too many drummers!
Eric: It’s a lot of drummers! And the giant steel doors at the end of the hallway leading into the Council of Bright’s room…
[big band music escalates]
it’s like the bass and the big drums are bouncers and they keep pushing you back at the 1 and the 3 drop.
[big band music steadily gets louder]
You push open the doors and this room is much bigger, much bigger than any of the other you’ve been in before. You look at the ballroom and you’re walking in on one side of a theater in the round.
[big band music melodies]
It’s the stage in the center of a futuristic theater. There’s just balconies that are flying high into the ceiling, that are spinning out at heights you can’t make out details unless we had binoculars or fancy opera glasses.
On the outer rim of the room is a scrum of rudimentary warforged, just metallic faces, and unblinking lights just melding all together, looking at your ragtag team walking into the arena. In the middle of the rafters, each with their own glowing music stand, is a 50-piece band with way too many repeating instruments. So you’re right, there are too many drums. And in the center, on a glimmering stage, is the Council of Bright. Sitting on a throne of metallic limbs, lounging on many fluffy pillows below it.
[ragtime big band music intensifies]
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Do you like my throne? Get it? It’s a metaphor.
Amanda (as Inara): My girlfriend wore it better.
Brandon (as Tracey): I don’t get it!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Cause they’re…
Brandon (as Tracey): Can you explain it?
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Cause my reign is on…is on. Built on the back of..., built on the work of the warforged?
Brandon (as Tracey): I don’t…was it supposed to be clever? I don’t get it exactly.
Amanda (as Inara): I thought those were arms and not backs?
Brandon (as Tracey): Did you workshop it before you did it? Seems like you didn’t?
Amanda (as Inara): Did you design it yourself? Oh no. Sorry.
Brandon (as Tracey): Seems kind of unstable honestly, did you make it yourself too?
Amanda (as Inara): Doesn’t seem very comfortable is that why all of the pillows are there?
Brandon (as Tracey): Does your butt hurt a lot, is that why you need so many pillows?
Amanda (as Inara): Sorry about your butt.
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, your butt sounds bad.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [yelling] MY BUTT IS FINE!
Eric: On his right, just bent over, is a searing furnace with an automated hammer and anvil and conveyor belt, is the warforged from the furnace below, who escaped you.
[music continues to pick up]
And to his left, you see that there is something underneath a very heavy velvet curtain.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Well, well well. It seems that all of you have crashed my party. And only one of you…
Amanda (as Inara): [interjecting] You invited us.
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, I mean you said on the loudspeaker earlier that you wanted us…[stumbles] is, it to come? I RSVPed!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Well only one of you had an invitation, and that was you Tracey. And you seem to have shoved me away for your…
[music pauses dramatically]
So called friends. Was it worth it?
Brandon (as Tracey): Kind of, yeah. They didn’t do any crimes. You did a bunch of them.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): I wouldn’t call them crimes, I would call them making the world a better place for all of us, including, especially you. Especially the family.
Eric: And at that point, all of the warforged around are like clapping in time. They’re like,
Eric (as warforged): Yeah! Yay, they said us!
Brandon (as Tracey): Um, yeah that’s exactly what was happening. We were making the world a better place for everyone.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Well it sounds like you thought that when you incited this whole thing.
Eric: And then the whole audience goes, [dramatically] oh!!
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, no. I deserve that one. Um…
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): And you, Brink! I guess your invitation came late but you still managed to show up. That was nice of you to come. Cool hat.
Amanda: I make eye contact with Valentine who's behind me and sort of nudge my head to the right as if to say like, why don’t you try to sneak around them?
Eric: Valentine nods and…
Brandon: Eric rolls 1 and Valentine falls over.
Eric: Valentine nods and starts to sneak away into the uh warforged audience scrum. Brink uh steps forward with her silly hat and says,
Eric (as Brink): That’s right! It is a silly hat! But I need it, so that you can’t take over my head anymore. You jerk!
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah!
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah!
Amanda: [matter of factly] And then I throw a dagger in his throat.
Eric: [cackles] Okay, I'll give you the surprise route.
[dice roll]
Amanda: 22.
Eric: Um, that’s a hit. Uh, why don’t you make an attack roll and I’ll give you your sneak attack damage as well? Cause you surprised even me. At this point I should just know you’re going to throw daggers.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda: 20 points of damage.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Would you say he’s surprised? Because then I autocrit.
Eric: Yeah. I’ll give you the autocrit. That’s fine.
Amanda: So that’s 24 points of damage. That’s roughly how many HP points I have left.
Brandon: [laughs] Oh, we’re screwed.
Amanda: Oh…yeah. What if Chad just sits on him?
Brandon: Maybe we could convince…maybe we could convince the Council that Chad is the newest and latest gel pillow?
[Amanda oohs]
And then like, he has a bad butt apparently so it would be good for his butt.
Amanda: Yeah! I’m sorry to hear about that.
Brandon: I know.
Amanda: I’m sorry about your butt.
Brandon: I’m sorry about your butt. And then Chad can engulf him from the butt up.
Amanda: That’s very good.
Eric: No, wait, the sneak attack does…[short pause] you’re right it just doubles the 20. I need to stop just letting you act because my people don’t think, so you get 40 points of damage.
Amanda: Thank you.
Brandon: [chanting] 40 points, 40 points, 40 points! 40 points of damage!
Amanda: [joins in chanting] 40 points! 40 points! 40 points! Of damage. Boop.
Eric: Alright, so…
Amanda: That’s when I booped him and got 40 points of damage.
Brandon: Maybe we can convince the Council that Chad is a sentient pile of Neosporin.
Amanda: [intrigued] Oh!!
Brandon: Rub it on the dagger wound.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: I don’t think that’s what it is. At all. While [chuckles] you’re doing that, while Brink and the Council of Bright are having their tête-à-tête, you're just like standing there and you’re just like, thwump!
[dagger flying through air]
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: You throw the dagger just out of nowhere and it’s heading right for the Council of Bright's throat and as it gets to the platform where his throne is, you hear a loud, ping!
[metallic clanging]
As the dagger bounces off of an invisible barrier. And you see like energy surrounding where the dagger landed goes, bloub, bloub, bloub, bloub, and like reverberates out.
Amanda: Does the shield look at all weakened after that?
Eric: You definitely [laughs] you definitely did some damage I’ll say that.
Brandon: Does it look 40 points weaker?
Eric: It looks 40 points weaker I would say!
Amanda: [laughs] If I had to put a number on it, you know.
[everyone chuckles]
Eric: Like it doesn’t crack, cause it’s an energy barrier.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: And the Council goes,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): At this point, I should have just assumed that you would throw a dagger at me and I’ll be less surprised next time. But what is it about being a master of warforged makes you think that I can’t just build things that would protect me huh?
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, you built…
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): I can, all the time!
Amanda (as Inara): You built this whole house to keep you away from the people you’re supposed to be ruling huh?
Brandon (as Tracey): I don’t think a master of warforged wouldn’t be able to be able to control a warforged. Hello!!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Well I should not have invited you to my party, but now…I INVITE YOU ALL TO DIE!!!
[intense music plays]
Eric: Roll for Initiative.
[dice rolls]
Brandon: Tracey laughs at that line.
Amanda (as Inara): How long…how long was he working on that one?
Eric: Cause that line is extremely good. Um, why don’t you guys roll for yourselves first?
Amanda: Alright. Well I got a 10.
[dice roll]
Brandon: I also got a 10.
Eric: Inara has better Dex than Tracey so Tracey goes second.
Amanda: Uh, Brink got 6 + her modifier.
Brandon: I’m rolling for Chad.
[dice roll]
Chad got a 3.
Amanda: So did Valentine.
Eric: Yep.
Amanda: + their modifier.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Franny got a 7.
Eric: Franny GOT…JESUS CHRIST.
Amanda: You know...
Brandon: I should have rolled my green dice for Chad. I’m a fool.
Eric: Um, let’s see. And then…
Brandon: It would have been a 2, so…
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Oh, you didn’t roll for Alonzo!
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: And Brando why don’t you roll for one more as well?
Amanda: So for Alonzo, that’s 6.
Eric: Jesus Christ guys!
Amanda: Sorry I used all of my juju on 40 points of damage before Initiative even started.
[Brandon chuckles]
Brandon: That one, whomever that one is for, got a 15.
[Eric mumbles something]
Well that seems bad…
Amanda: Eric looked delighted and that’s always dangerous.
Brandon: It’s always bad.
Eric: Wonderful. The Council is still fuming at you and is standing up from his throne and is stomping his feet and is like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [screams frustratingly] NO! THIS IS NOT HOW…I had a big thing planned and I’m going to do it now! Guys, c’mon out!
Amanda (as Inara): Are you walking that way because your butt hurts?
Brandon (as Tracey): How are you even walking when your butt hurts so bad!?
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): MY BUTT…
Amanda (as Inara): You can sit down!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): IS FINE!!!
Eric: And, the Council like points towards one of the other sides of the arena, and like a portcullis opens up and Holmes and Watson as proudly as possible walks in. Unfortunately, Holmes does have a dagger buried real deep in one of his eyes so he cannot…
Amanda (as Inara): That’s where I left it!
Eric: [chuckles] So he can’t walk in as proudly so he’s kind of like leaning on Watson who silently leading his talkative friend inside.
Amanda (as Inara): Sorry about your face!
Eric (as Holmes): I cannot see exactly…my depth perception is all messed up now. So I’m going to do a lot to take you out. Because of that, I need my eye back and I’ll take yours for me. Isn’t that right Watson?
Eric: Watson just shrugs…
Amanda: So I’m hearing that he’s going to have disadvantage on all of his throws.
Brandon: That’s what I heard too.
Eric: Uh, the Council says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Well you didn’t think that the master of all things in this realm and the other realms wouldn’t have a few things up his sleeve, wouldn’t he?
Eric: And the Council of Bright reaches underneath his throne, and pulls out a big lantern, glowing with energy. Similar to the one that Johnny had on the ground with him before. He says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): You’re not the only one with god magic on your side.
Eric: He points the lantern at Holmes and Watson. And like this orange energy beam just shoots out from the lantern and like engulfs the two warforged lieutenants and like they both start to grow.
Watson literally gets bigger. All the bricks that compose his body literally start to expand and he even manages to like get more of them somehow? And he now stands at a cool 10 feet tall.
Uh, Watson on the other hand, the only thing that gets bigger is the cannon in his chest. He gets sleeker and more pointed and really the whole cannon just fills up everything that used to be his entire like thorax area, his entire chest area, is just one big cannon. Now there’s like an extra sight on it and it crackles with extra energy. Um…
Amanda (as Inara): You should try that on your butt!
Eric: [chuckles] This souped up Holmes says,
Eric (as Holmes): Well Darlin, I want to try this, on your butt.
Eric: And he’s going to fire some big ol shots at Inara.
Brandon (as Tracey): That’s inappropriate, she’s a child!
Amanda (as Inara): Also no one calls me darling except my darling! You’re doing to die today.
Eric: And Brink’s like,
Eric (as Brink): EVERYONE HIT THE DECK!!
Eric: Holmes is gonna attack…
Amanda: 10. Oh so many HP points.
Brandon: Oh yeah, we’re all going to die.
Amanda: Well for the realm.
Eric: Uh, what’s your AC?
Amanda: 14.
Eric: So with the massive blast, they look like soccer ball sized balls of energy just shoot out towards Inara and like, all of them seem to be on point. Unfortunately that point is 3 feet above your head and all 5 of the shots go into the wall behind you. And Holmes is like,
Eric (as Holmes): [confidently] I GOT HER! I got her right between the eyes!
Brandon (as Tracey): You definitely did, and you should top firing in that direction because she’s very dead!
Eric: Uh it is now Watson’s turn and Watson is going to take a step forward and the bricks start rearranging. It’s not the bear it’s not the squirrel that you saw before, it is 6 spindly legs and a giant thorax and a big tail with a point at the end. And…you’re looking at a giant scorpian my friends!
Amanda: That sucks.
Eric: And that giant scorpion is going to run, spend a dash action to get all up in your business.
Amanda (as Inara): [whispers] Tracey, it’s like a poisonous butt!
Eric: [cackles] Uh, this turn I want you to both make Arcana checks again.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: Natural 20.
Brandon: 17.
Eric: [exhales] Good job Inara. Good. For. You.
Brandon: [singing] She gets magic powers! She’s a god now!
Amanda: [singing] I can fly and also kill things at will!
Eric: Inara you take a few steps back from the blazing shots that have fired over your head and realized that you should probably figure out a strategy. And you’re looking around and everyone is panicked. And you remember some of the things that Adamah said to you. There is always a deal to be made.
So you realize that there is somebody who can help you. Someone who might also be able to harness all five of the items. You keep talking about you’re very hurt all the time. And if only you knew someone who would be able to help you out who is a strong maternal figure in your life. And only wants what’s best for you, including bagels.
Amanda: Maria!
Eric: You hear in your head,
Eric (as the Speaker): Inara...are you, are you choking? You need to chew your bagels. My dear!
[Amanda laughs]
Amanda (as Inara): That was a really sick burn Maria good job.
Eric (as the Speaker): Thank you, I’ve been practicing.
Amanda (as Inara): I’ve also been practicing listening and I think maybe this is growing up because I realize I should have done a lot more of it. So, um, can you help me now please?
[Eric laughs]
Eric (as the Speaker): Um, maybe, hopefully? Where are…where are you?
Amanda (as Inara): In the Council’s mansion. Where the capital used to be. You remember us getting, you know kind of blown up. Uh, trying to fight him. We have Chad, and Franny and Brinks and Valentine, and…doing our best not to die.
The Council is…is enveloped in some kind of bubble and we’re trying to break it down, but I think it’s going to take a while. We had the items, we have Franny and I think she knows what to do, but we can definitely use some help.
Eric (as the Speaker): That does sound fun. I don’t have the…oh! Hold on.
Amanda (as Inara): Oh, uh also, Tracey killed Ze’ol. Doesn’t seem permanent but just so you’re aware. That I guess could cause some problems, yeah.
Eric (as the Speaker): : That does, yeah, sound like something Tracey would do.
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, I know. I did my best.
Eric (as the Speaker): I’m not very surprised. Well, um. Oh! Oh wait hold on! It just seemed to send me the directions. I’ll be right there.
Eric: And at that point you hear a boom behind you.
[booming sound]
As the two giant doors fly open and the Speaker with her massive purple gauntlets have punched the door open.
[Amanda cheers loudly]
And says,
Eric (as the Speaker): I’m here to clean up, as it were.
Amanda (as Inara): [screams] THAT’S SO GOOD MARIA!!!
Eric: Uh, and she holds up her hands. And I want both of you to heal 16 points of damage as she casts Mass Healing Word on both of you.
Brandon: Sick.
Brandon (as Tracey): MARIA!!!!!
Eric (as the Speaker): This does seem like a formal setting, I am the Speaker. If any-any time other than now the Speaker would be good, a representative Speaker of Adamah’s. The Speaker of the Five true Concentric States, uh, Consortium. Any of these things really. This would be the time to call me the Speaker.
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, but then I couldn’t say, how can you solve a problem? Call Maria!!
Eric (as the Speaker): Well, I…I do understand how fun that does sound. Again, I think any other time other than now Speaker would still be appropriate. You could say Speaker has come to clean up or…
Amanda (as Inara): Madame Speaker!!
Eric (as the Speaker): Are…okay! Yeah!
Brandon (as Tracey): Speaker Maria!
Eric (as the Speaker): Not…you you’ve ruined truly the balance of gods in this entire world so Tracey we’re going to have to talk later.
Eric: The Council again stands up and says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): I’M THE ONLY GOD HERE!!! WILL IT, EVERYONE BOW TO ME AND ALL OF THOSE THINGS! When you attacked me, I got increasingly flustered and I did not like that.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Inara, it’s your turn.
Amanda: So with my Assassinate mechanic, I have advantage if my target hasn’t taken a turn. Did the Council take a turn?
Eric: He’s not taken a turn, that was a legendary action to soup his two attempts.
Amanda: Okay, so I’m going to shoot my longbow at the Council’s shield.
Eric: Great.
Amanda: With advantage that’s a 19.
Eric: Yeah, that hits. So you do get the sneak attack because you do have advantage.
Amanda: Alright. [reading out, adding damage] 1…7…11…14…17…21 + 7, 28 points of damage.
Eric: Alright, there we go.
Eric: How do you fire this arrow, how is it Assassinate?
Amanda: I sort of inspect the surface of the shield. Does it kind of like a soap bubble effect or does it kind of only go into visibility?
Eric: I think that when you hit it now it is and when you get a good look at it is kinda of shimmering. I mean, it does look like stage so there are massive spotlights on the Council right now.
Amanda: And the gels are like 6 and 81?
Eric: Exactly.
Amanda: And the Rosco scale effect?
Eric: You nailed it, that’s exactly what I wrote down, which is wild.
Amanda: So even though I know it will hit the shield, I still want to sink what I think will be a failed shot, so I draw my bow out of my pack, get down on to one knee, and shoot sort of up at an angle, under his ribcage to his heart.
Eric: wonderful. It’s again, right on the money, you do 20- another 28 points of damage. Not as bad as the dagger before, but, uh, it definitely does more damage to that shield that’s surrounding him. He goes,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): HA! I knew you would do that, that’s why I kept my shield up, obviously!
Amanda: I’m just going to get into a bit of a defensive stance standing a little bit in front of Brink and just spend the last bit of my turn to say to Chad, Brink, and Tracey,
Amanda (as Inara): We need to concentrate on getting that shield down. Once we do, Franny can go forward and that’s what we gotta…that’s what we gotta focus on.
Brandon (as Tracey): Alright.
Amanda (as Inara): Franny, also if you can drink some of that Light with straw go for it.
Eric (as Franny): It’s like sipping a tea in the middle of the night. You can do it, but really what are the benefits?
Brandon (as Tracey): What are you even saying anymore?!?
Eric (as Franny): I don’t even know!
Brandon (as Tracey): It’s like another language!
Eric (as Franny): Child I don’t even know!
Amanda: Can you tell us anything about this light? Is it beneficial towards Franny or is it like weaponized for the Council?
Eric: No this is like weaponized, they’re like overclocking roboboys. Tracey it is your turn.
Brandon: Can you describe the stadium a little but for me? Like, is there…?
Eric: Imagine it’s a theater. There’s a theater in the round. Where there’s a big circle and the stage is a raised circle within the larger circle. And everywhere around are warforged of different classes, and you know…
Amanda: Rank.
Eric: Yeah, rank.
Brandon: So is it like a little point on the stage where you can get up without having to get on the bubble? You know what I mean?
Eric: The outer ring of the stage is not protected by the shield.
Brandon: Great. So Tracey’s going to dash over to that edge of the stage and hop up.
Eric: Okay, before I list you some opportunity attacks from the giant scorpion. [short pause] Uh, what’s your AC?
Brandon: 16.
Eric: Alright you get bitten once by the claw of this thing. You take 6 points of damage.
Brandon: Cool, great. So as Tracey is rushing over he takes that blow in stride and sort of like shrugs it off.
Eric: He’s clogged by a giant scorpion and he’s like, Aw, it’s fine!
Brandon (as Tracey): You’re an insect, I don’t even know!
Brandon: And Tracey is going to rush over to the stage and jump up on the stage and he’s going to appeal to the crowd.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: SO he’s going to hop along the stage, and he’s going to start raging and get himself to start glowing all orange. And he’s going to turn to the crowd and say,
Brandon (as Tracey): Warforged brethren! Too long have you been under the thumb of this maniacal weak human. Stand with me, take your own fate into your own hands. He is no god, he is a simple man. If I can kill a god, you can too!
Brandon: And I hold up Ze’ol’s head in a jar.
[Amanda imitates crowd cheering]
Eric: And the Council of Bright is like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Ew! Gross!
Eric: Um, okay.
Brandon: So what I’m trying to do, what I want to do to get them on my side and then I would like to direct them to pop the energy wall before us.
Eric: Oh, that’s going to be tough. I think that the Council isn’t going to take this lying down. The Council says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Do not talk to the imposter! He came over and thought that he was one of the family, but he left as soon as the tough got going! Why would we believe someone who doesn’t want to stay with the family?! Absolutely not. Throw out this, throw out this heathen! This turncoat, this kind of a big old jerk. Absolutely not.
Brandon (as Tracey): You know? He’s not wrong.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): You are a big jerk, I knew it!
Brandon (as Tracey): [impatiently] It’s my turn, it’s my turn!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): I nailed it!
Brandon (as Tracey): I-I started this. This is my fault. I wanted to meet you all. I wanted to be with you. And he was the only way to get that done. But I realized that he’s a liar, a manipulator, a false prophet and doesn’t have any of our best interests at heart. I am not saying that I want to lead you, I am here to give you your own freedom. If I can do it, you can too.
Eric: Alright I’m going to give you advantage on this roll. But the Council has a +7 to their Persuasion, so good luck.
[Brandon snorts]
You can also use Persuasion.
Brandon: Okay. [pause while rolling] So, I don’t have to get them all at once.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: So I am open to just like getting a few at a time here and showing through our heroic exploits, gaining more followers.
Eric: Okay. So I rolled a 24, what did you get?
Brandon: A not that!
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I got a 10.
Eric: Alright [laughs] So…I would say with a 14-point difference you’re not going to be able to convince any people on your side, even though you have the head of Ze’ol. I-I think that a lot of these warforged who are there are like truly newly made.
Brandon: Yeah, I know.
Eric: Or whatever they are when they are in the astral prison. They don’t actual have a sense of what it is.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: So they’re just like, [laughing] someone in the crowd is just like,
Eric (as warforged): [uncertain] That jar is gross! Why do you…why do you have a head?
Eric: And then the Council is like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): I know, it’s gross, right? So gross!
Brandon: And I yell to the crowd,
Brandon (as Tracey): You know, that’s okay! I’m not expecting you to follow me. I’ll show you what a free warforged can do.
Eric: Um, because nothing happened, I’ll let you attack normally.
Brandon: Cool, yeah. So Tracey’s going to…he’s already raging, so he’s going to turn around and two-handed ax attack the bubble.
Eric: Great.
Brandon: He’s also going to recklessly attack cause it’s his first attack.
Eric: Yeah, do it.
Amanda: [cheering on] Yeah, Tracey my boi’s so reckless!
Brandon: Which give me advantage.
Eric: [also cheering on] Oh-Oh, my boy’s so reckless.
[dice roll]
Brandon: Twe…18 to hit.
Eric: Okay, that hits.
Brandon: So he’s going to swing his ax down on the bubble and then seamlessly throw it back in the hilt on his back, and then pop his left arm cannon out and shoot the bubble as well.
Eric: Okay.
[dice roll]
Brandon: Well I…got a crit 1 shot on my cannon.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Okay, so I’ll roll damage for that.
Eric: Cool.
[dice roll]
Brandon: 11 damage.
Amanda: Nice job.
Eric: Alright, yeah. I think it was, it was pretty cool making a passionate speech and then your whip out ax and just slash him with it and it just bounces back. But you’re too busy trying to play to the crowd. Maybe you try to do a trick shot with your cannon. Now there’s a hole [laughing] just in the roof and you kind of see the sky, which is now just a permanently maelstrom of just terrible terrible clouds because you know, it’s the end of the world.
Brandon: And I yell out to the crowd,
Brandon (as Tracey): [announcing] I have mercy on this man!
[Amanda and Eric laugh heartily]
Even though he doesn’t deserve it. This is the freedom of choice I have!
Amanda: Extremely good.
Eric: So dumb. So, um, on the Initiative count of 10, he’s going to use another legendary action, turns toward the warforged at the hammer and anvil, and he’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [annoyed] Can you do something? I…the fact that you didn’t die in the furnace, I...is beyond me, can you do something?!
Eric: And he’s like,
Eric (as forge warforged): [jolted into action] Oh, yeah. Okay!
Eric: And then he just starts…
Brandon (as Tracey): [yelling] You don’t have to listen to him!
Eric (as forge warforged):No I think I do, he’s my boss!
Eric: And then he just starts slamming down on all the metal.
Amanda (as Inara): [yelling] Take over the means of production!
Eric: And uh, I’m going to roll…[woos in reaction to roll], and Tracey you see coming down the conveyor belt, and comes off of this automated neofuturistic hammer and anvil are seven pint-sized warforged that like come up to your knee. But they all look up at you and they all open their mouths and they have these jagged teeth. And they’re like,
Eric (as tiny warforged): [high-pitched] Are you our brother?! Are we all related?!
Brandon (as Tracey): Yes, we are!
Eric (as tiny warforged): I want to come give you a hug!
Brandon (as Tracey): Okay! I love hugs!
Eric: I don’t think you’re going to like this hug, and uh, those minions are going to run at you, and they’re all going to start biting at your ankles. I’m going to roll for all of them.
Brandon: It’s like, you know, when your young cousin is like a little too rough…
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: When they roughhouse.
Amanda: Still love them.
Brandon: You still let them, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, gotta work it out.
Brandon: And then when they’re adults, you tell them to kill their boss.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Only two of them managed to bite at your ankles. The other five are just [laughing] jumping all over you like they were your little cousins.
Brandon: [satisfied] Yeah.
Eric: But two of them get some meaty bites in your ankles and you take 7 points of damage.
Brandon: I talk half as much.
Eric: Okay, so there’s just 3 then. Now on the battlefield surrounding Tracey on the stage there are seven little robo-minions. It is now…Valentine’s turn. So Inara, what is your plan with Valentine.
Amanda: Before we knew there was a shield there, my hope was that Valentine could sneak around the side of the stage to…try to attack the Council or have something crash down upon him. If there is like a giant curtain or a stage piece or a light that someone forgot to safety-cable to the rafter, I think that Valentine letting that thing crash down upon the bubble and trying to like inflict some damage would be ideal.
Eric: Alright, that sounds good. So let me make a sneak for Valentine.
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: [sighs] Oh man, I rolled a crit 1.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: For Valentine, okay. So Valentine I guess when you last saw them was sneaking their way through this scrum, this audience of basic level warforged. And um…
Amanda: warforged. Sorry, that was just a little joke from me about lumber.
Eric: [laughs] Just common, commonly warforged. And um, I thin with a natural 1, Valentine gets so distracted by the strange voices that are coming from all of these.
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: These like half-formed voice boxes.
Amanda: I don’t blame them.
Eric: You hear,
Eric (as warforged): [repeating] Ew! What is that? Ew! What is that? Ew! What is that!
Amanda: Listen, Valentine is just collecting more and more things to put into their arsenal of self-expression, and I cannot blame them.
Brandon: It’s all vocabulary.
[Eric chuckles]
Amanda: If Valentine should choose if they are discovered to say something deeply disconcerting to the Council that would be even better.
Eric: If someone were to say something deeply disconcerting, someone would definitely repeat it and say it.
Amanda: Mhm.
Eric: It is now Franny’s turn. So Franny, uh…if like,
Eric (as Franny): Poppet! Aw, what, how-how can I help? What can I do?
Eric: Do you want Franny to attack the Council or do you want her to deal with the-with the minions that are running around you?
Amanda: I think the priority has to be with the bubble.
Eric: Okay.
Eric (as Franny): Oh! I’m not much for damage right now at the moment poppet, but I know of someone who is!
Eric: And she reaches into her big bag, and she pulls out the jewelry bag again…
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And she like stretches it as wide as she can, and now it’s like her size stretching it, and it’s now like a ten-foot hole. And she throws it on the ground, and she says,
Eric (as Franny): [yelling] You know what to do! GO!!!!!
Eric: And you hear flapping. And a voice that you have not heard in so long, that graces beautiful across your eardrums, you hear,
Eric (as Stoneface): Hey! Anybody order a special delivery!?
Eric: And Stoneface just holding a giant boulder and uh, a flock of bombilates flapping behind them. Each one of them holding a pouch with a rock in it.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Flaps behind him and they zoom towards the Council of Bright. I’m going to make an attack to see how many times they get.
Brandon: His voice is as smooth as pomade through your hair…
Amanda: It sure is. It’s as smooth as a satin bomber jacket.
Eric: [laughs in response to roll] Alright, Stoneface and the bombilates do 18 damage.
Brandon: Yay!!
Amanda: Yay!!!
Eric: So all of the rocks stop and they each bounce off of the shield, and the Council is just like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): I don’t understand the joke. What’s happening here?
Brandon (as Tracey): [rebutting] You’re the joke!
Eric (as Stoneface): Hey! Someone like you wanna come over and help your friends cause when your friends need help you help them! Hey! See you later, I gotta go back to like you know…saving all of Fidapolis simultaneously. I’m a hero.
Brandon (as Tracey): Oh-Okay! Thank you!
Eric (as the Speaker): So good to see all of you, it’s been so long!
Amanda (as Inara): It’s so good to see you man!
Eric: And the bombilates fly back in the hole and Stoneface is like,
Eric (as the Speaker): Oh Franny! Hold on one second, I got something for you!
Eric: He’s wearing a backpack…
Amanda: So good.
Eric: And he pulls something out and it’s glowing and it’s just this low glowing light. And you see it’s this little flask full of Undying Light juice.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: And he throws it to Franny, and Franny just snags it out of the air and immediately just like pops it open and she’s like,
Eric (as Franny): [laughing heartily in delight] Ah!! Hahaha!
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: And then she pours it down her mouth and she just like, you like see her just like settle. She looks like she feels comfortable again. She looks around and says,
Eric (as Franny): [in her deep, back to normal voice] Okay, it’s time to take this guy out.
[Amanda and Brandon cheer joyfully]
Brandon (as Tracey): Yay Franny you’re back! We’ve missed you!
Eric: And she rips off the dress and she’s wearing the same muumuu she was wearing before.
Amanda: Yeahhh!
Eric: And she’s just like,
Eric (as Franny): I’m still not wearing pants I’m sure…is that okay?
Brandon (as Tracey): It’s your warm muumuu!!!
Amanda (as Inara): As you should!!
Eric (as Franny): Let’s take him down!
Eric: It is now Brink’s turn. So Brink makes eye contact with the Council of Bright. She pulls all of her courage up and says,
Eric (as Brink): I’m not afraid of you. You can’t get in my head anymore.
Eric: And the Council says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Well…I bet I could try.
Eric: Brink is going to resist with advantage with her silly hat.
Amanda: Yessss. Come on honey.
Brandon (as Tracey): This is silly.
Eric: She rolled a natural 20!
[everyone cheers]
Brandon: Not so silly now is it?
Eric: Still pretty silly. So the Council is like concentrating and like looking at her in the eyes and she says,
Eric (as Brink): What? What’s the problem? My silly hat is too great for you? You can’t get in?
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): No, I’m going to keep trying. I can do it.
Eric: So for now with a nat 20, uh the Council of Bright will no longer be able to possess anyone during this fight.
Amanda: [cheers] Good job!
Brandon: I turn to the crowd and say,
Brandon (as Tracey): Is this your fearless leader, who has no power over anyone else except for you?!
Eric (as warforged): Ew, that jar is gross. Ew!
Brandon (as Tracey): [defensively] It’s a god’s head! Okay…
Eric: Let’s do another . So I’ll give you advantage again, and the Council once again has +7.
[dice rolls]
Brandon: I did get a 17 this time.
Eric: Hm. The Council did once again win. The Council got a 19 so less of a separation. So maybe, the fact that you had to like you said, you have literal proof that he’s not as powerful as he thought. So maybe some of the warforged are like,
Eric (as warforged): [mumbling] Oh…huh. Well…
Brandon: Yeah, planted a little seed of doubt.
Amanda: It’s all it takes.
Eric (as warforged): That guys that ran away, hm, seems to have some evidence. Grumble grumble grumble.
Eric: It is now Alonzo’s turn! Uh, Alonzo turns to Inara and says,
Eric (as Alonzo): Inara! What do I do? I don’t know how to do [chuckles] I don’ know how to do anything! It turns out this guy was the one giving me magical powers the entire time. What do I even do?
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah Alonzo, you do know. Before any of this happened, you were a prince and you were really good at being one.
Eric (as Alonzo): That’s true.
Amanda: I hand him my short sword and say,
Amanda (as Inara): Got at him bud.
Eric (as Alonzo): Okay, so I should just…okay. Um…I don't know if stabbing, I don’t know, I wasn’t really good at stabbing.
Eric: He turns around looking around frantically and he’s like,
Eric (as Alonzo): Hey, what is that one the ground?
Eric: He’s going to use a, disengage action to not get attacked by the scorpion and runs 20 feet to the left and looks down and is like,
Eric (as Alonzo): Hey look! There’s a battery right here!
Eric: And he picks it up and he’s like,
Eric (as Alonzo): Tracey do you want one of these?
Brandon (as Tracey): Get…yeah, I do! Thank you!
Eric: Alright. Make a Dexterity saving throw.
Brandon: To catch it?
Eric: Yeah.
[short pause]
Brandon: Are you sure it’s not a Strength saving throw?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: No, [laughing] it is definitely…yeah… [macho-like] Oh I’m so jacked! I can direct this, I can grab this right out of the air!
Brandon: 11?
Eric: Yeah, you had to beat a 10.
Amanda: Alright!
Eric: So Alonzo throws the battery towards you and now you snag it out of the air, and now you have another battery.
Brandon: Sick! So now I have 1 battery.
Eric (as Alonzo): Hey…maybe there…I’m pretty good at finding things! Yeah, I was just walking around James’ pantry and I would like find stuff. I can just find stuff if you want? Do you want me to find stuff?
Amanda (as Inara): That sounds great!
Eric (as Alonzo): Okay great! I’ll find stuff!
Brandon (as Tracey): When you find more batteries, throw them my way!
Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah, absolutely! On it!
Brandon (as Tracey): Thanks!
Eric (as Alonzo): I feel useful, guys!!! Guys, I’m useful!
Amanda (as Inara): So proud!
Eric: Chad is going to attack the giant scorpion.
Amanda: Just a big old hug, butt first.
Brandon: [chanting] Butt first hug! Butt first hug!
Eric: Chad gets all tangled up with the scorpion. Um, they’re tussling but you can't see that anyone is necessarily winning at the moment.
Brandon: I mean it’s Chad.
Eric: It’s Chad just like,
Eric (as Chad): [battle-cries] YAAAAAH!!! I’m a human, I’m going to defend my friends!!!
Eric: And he just kind of throws himself at Watson.
Brandon: So not only if he engulfs people does, he you know, they take acid damage, but he also has a sword in him that can also stab them at the same time.
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: Exactly. Exactly.
Amanda: True, that’s true.
Eric: That’s 100% true.
Brandon: Chad’s our best fighter.
Amanda: Chad’s so good!
Eric: Alright, so now it’s the Council of Bright’s official turn. And he’s just ticked off and he says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [determinedly] I’M TICKED OFF.
[Amanda laughs]
Time for me to unveil my secret weapon!
Eric: And he goes over and whips the velvet curtain off and there is a giant turret with three different gun modules ready to fire. And then he sits down in a little seat which is also made out of metal arms, and he puts a pillow down and he sits down in it…
Amanda: Is he just like sitting in the giant palm of a hand?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Gross.
Brandon (as Tracey): Had to get another pillow, don’t you?! How’s your butt?
Amanda (as Inara): Too afraid for hand-to-hand combat? Would that hurt your butt!?
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): My butt is fine!!
Eric: He activates one of the modules and it glows red and he trains it on Inara again.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Inara, do you look sick? Because it seems like you’re burning up.
Eric: And he fires three shots of scorching ray at you. So what is your AC?
Amanda: 14.
[dice rolls]
Eric: Alright, only one hits, but unfortunately it was a nat 20. So you’re going to take…18 points of damage. If you want to use your reaction you can have that. Your evasion.
Amanda: Alright, I’ll do that.
Eric: Alright, so you’re going to use your reaction. So you, although…this real tasty fireball levels right at your chest, you still manage to pull off to the side and take half of that damage. So you only take 9 points of damage.
Amanda (as Inara): Don’t worry, my butt’s fine! Unlike yours.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Well I wasn’t trained at it because that would be bad military tactics.
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah…okay.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): You jerks!
Brandon (as Tracey): Warforged brethren! Do you want to need a pillow, every time you sit in a chair?! Like a coward!?
Amanda: No…
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Shut up…[laughs] Don’t listen to him, I’m a military tactics specialist!
Amanda: [mumbles] People who sit on pillows are not cowardly.
Brandon: Nah that’s what Tracey thinks, I don’t think so. I like to, I love to sit on pillows.
Eric: Brandon is 100% for pillows.
Amanda: If I could live in a hamster wheel that was just padded that would be great.
Brandon: Absolutely I would do that.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Um, it is now Holmes’ turn.
Eric (as Holmes): Well I gotta hit something one of these days and I’m going to take them out and I’m going to do it. Hey Tracey, I heard you over there! I’m going to fire at you!
Brandon (as Tracey): Bet you can’t!
Eric (as Holmes): Don’t move! Do you promise? Don’t move!
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, promise!
Eric: So he’s going to fire 5 times at you, but again he has disadvantage because he only has one good eye.
Brandon: Right. 16 is my AC.
[dice rolls]
Eric: Alright. Tracey, because you jeered back at Holmes, the echo locates onto your position and he hits your twice.
Amanda: Brutal.
Brandon: I didn’t know he was a bat.
Eric (as Holmes): Well when one of your eyes goes out one of your other sense gets heightened and now, I can echo-locate!
Brandon: Okay he’s a dolphin!
Eric: 36 points of damage.
Brandon: Well I have that.
Eric: 36 divided in half is…do it at home kids.
Amanda: 18.
Eric: 18!
Brandon: 18 points of damage.
Eric: Give it a second.
Amanda: How’s the podcast?
Brandon: Yeah, you’ve got to be like 36 divided by 2, is…? [long pause] Good job kids it is 18!
Eric: That’s right! 18 points of radiant damage!
Alright now it is Watson’s turn. Watson is going to scrap up with Chad. The scorpion gets two claw attacks into Chad. They’re really ripping into teach other and Chad takes 18 points of damage. If he was a human, which he is, that’s a lot of damage.
Amanda (as Inara): That’s alright Chad, hang in there!
Eric (as Chad): I’m trying my best, I’m defending!
Amanda (as Inara): You’re doing great bud!
Eric: Oh yeah, okay so on that count, the Council of Bright was going to use his legendary action. He’s going to turn towards the forge warforged and say like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Hey! Get more, get more guys going!
Eric: And he’s like,
Eric (as forge warforged): I…ran out of pieces! I have to go get more raw materials!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): You should have had them here!
Eric: So he can’t refresh that legendary action anymore.
Amanda: So relatable.
Eric: It is now the Speaker’s turn. The Speaker is going to go over to Franny and is going to take all 5 of the items away from her.
Eric (as the Speaker): Franny. Thank you so much for being the maternal presence for this whole group since I’ve been gone, but now I think I can take over and really be the person that Adamah and the rest of the universe wants me to be what I expect to be as the Speaker.
Eric: And Franny says,
Eric (as Franny): I don’t know shit, I guess I was just turned into like a grandma at one point. Go ahead I’ll have more fun sitting on my ass anyway.
Eric: Uh, so now the Speaker has the items. She is more connected to the godly presences than Franny is so you would have a better time getting that done. She is also going to magically conjure a javelin and just throw it at the Council of Bright as her spiritual weapon. Just to see what happened, just to help out.
Amanda: Did Maria do track and field in her all women’s college?
Eric: Yeah, you can have that one.
[Brandon laughs]
Um, yeah, she hits and it’s going to do another 7 damage as this magical javelin again pings off of the shield. The shield is looking bad. Uh this is now Inara’s turn again.
Amanda: Um, so I’m going to use my rogue cunning action which bonus action in combat to disengage from the scorpion.
Eric: Sick.
Amanda: And then I will run up to the stage kind of just behind where Tracey is, hopefully block my line of vison, and as I get close, I’m going to slide in between Tracey’s feet and stab the shield with my short sword.
Eric: Wonderful, okay.
[Eric yelps in surprise and then laughs]
Amanda: It’s just me! Chaw!
Eric: Okay, I will give you, if you hit this, I’ll give you sneak attack.
[Brandon gasps in response to roll]
Amanda: I’m sorry, what is that Tracey?
Brandon (as Tracey): That is a 2.0. Naturally!
Eric: Oh my god! This was so risky there were also little roboboys around you! Oh my god I can’t believe you pulled this off. Yeah. I’ll give it to you. Gimme that damage.
Amanda: Alright. [clears throat] Let’s get all my dice ready. Okay. So we got 2 + 6…9…13…17…19…25!
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And its doubled.
Eric: [surprised] 25 x 2!?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: JESUS CHRIST! 50 DAMAGE! Oh my god…
[Amanda and Eric make chaw sounds]
Amanda: I’m filled with love and inspiration seeing Brink stand up so wonderfully against the Council. I feel so supported and loved by all our friends who have shown up to help us. I’m so glad Franny is back to normal and in her wonderful inspirational muumuu, and I’m just ready. I’m ready to win. I feel like we can finally do this.
Eric: Alright. And with all of that excitement running through you, you slash through the shield, and it just like audibly pops,
[loud echoing pop]
You even see like the energy, like a soap bubble, even the pieces of it disperse into the air. The Council is like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Oh…hey! Hey! What’s going on!?
Eric: So you did so much damage that the bubble only has 26 points. You still have 24 points of damage. Where do you want to direct the 24 points of damage? It has to be the people who are around you, so it has to be collection of robotykes who are surrounding Tracey, the Council himself, or the warforged? The warforged forger. Forged warforged.
Brandon: Warforger.
Eric: The warforger, of course.
Amanda: Very good, very good. I would like to direct them at the Council unless you think otherwise Brandon because I want him to be stunned and vulnerable for this ritual.
Eric: How do you like continue the attack so you slash through the shield and…how do you hit him?
Amanda: In his kneecap.
Eric: [laughing] You just like literally continue the slash and just get him in the kneecap?
Amanda: It was like a thrust into the bubble and oh yeah, it went into his kneecap.
Eric: [cackles] Alright, I love that. Good. Um, that’s fun.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Yeah you definitely get him in the knee and he’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Oh! This turned out a way I didn’t want it to turn out!
Amanda (as Inara): Get used to it bud!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): No! I will not get used to it, I refuse to get used to it!
Eric: Okay. So we’re going to take a break from Initiative for the moment. The Council is now bleeding from the knee, and Inara he gets in your face and just pushes you away, just to give him a little space. He’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [sighs] I assumed that all of my creations would be able to hold back this ragtag bunch of bolts that all of you are. But it sounds like I need to do something a little more drastic.
Amanda: Can I punch him in the nose?
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Make an attack roll.
Amanda: 8.
Eric: Even with the shield down you can’t bop him on the nose, no.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Um, alright. You’ve pushed me to this. Tracey there are so many things that you don’t even know about yourself. What powers you, what is the core inside of you. How you are even made. I could have shown you all that. Was it worth it? Was it worth it trying to separate from the family? You had one and you just ran away, was it worth it for you?
Brandon (as Tracey): I don’t need to know where I came from, because I know where I belong.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): That’s cute. I’ll show you what the power inside of you can actually do.
Eric: And he uh, rips off of his tunic, you can see that he has ceremonial tattoos that are carved all over his chest that match yours. The same swirls…
Brandon: WHAT?!?!
Eric: The same swirls, they’re tattoos but they’re also like deep? It’s like they’ve been carved into his skin just like what’s been carved into your skin. And he holds the lantern above his head,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [commanding] Undying Light. Undying Shadow. It’s time for our pact to fully come to be. I will take both of you on, empower me. Let me be a fusion of the light and the dark. Let me be more than I actually am.
Eric: And he throws his arms down, and it’s like an EMP pulse booms…
[reverberating echoing boom]
Through the entire room. Tracey it’s like you get a hard reset inside of you. It’s like you go black for a second and then you immediately come back on.
Inara, you get pushed back just from the force of this thing, 10 feet. And you fall off the stage and you look around and you see everyone is kind of like on their ass. And it’s very dark in this room. It’s because before the main source of light were the eyes of the warforged that were everywhere, but now, all of the warforged have gone dark.
You can see that Chad is only one that didn’t get pushed over because he doesn’t have legs. The giant scorpion, he’s still tussling with it, but he’s not pushing back. You had your eyes trained on Holmes before, because all he wanted to do was fire energy bolts at you, but he’s now just like classic robot like hunched over at the waist. And you see that every single warforged in the room, the warforger on stage, the little boys that were surrounding Tracey, they’re all bent over at the waist.
You see that this energy literally the energy of all these warforged, and Tracey as you come to you see this now, is like circling around the Council of Bright. And his tattoos are now starting to glow orange. And he starts to grow. Not him actually, but the energy around him is expanding. Like his arms are starting to fill out with bright energy on one arm and this darkness energy, the shadows filling up the other arm. And his legs are expanding, and he just keeps gaining the mass of the light and the dark surrounding him. And now he’s just this monstrous version of himself. He has a gaping mouth and eyes standing 20 feet tall, dwarfing all of you.
[music slows]
The Council has reached his final form.
[midroll begins]
Amanda: Hey, it’s Amanda. The lead-up to a holiday is so exciting—planning menus, booking travel, making a private bingo card of iconic family behaviors. And then holidays are a blur of food and sports games and cheer! But then comes time for my favorite part of all, and that’s leftovers. Maybe you use pumpkin pie filling to make pancakes, or pan-fry stuffing into some kind of french toast, or make a pot pie with sides and turkey as your filling, or my favorite, stack up an incredible leftovers sandwich. Welcome to the midroll. I saved you some cornbread.
We have three very important housekeeping items to let you know right at the jump! Stay with me folks!
First off, this is the last episode of House Party. Oh god oh god oh god I know. But JTP is far from over. Two weeks from today we’ll be releasing an epilogue, and two weeks after that, a gigantic Afterparty about the entire campaign. So get your questions in! It’s going to be a huge spoilery masterpiece, so tweet us, email us, or leave your questions in our patron-only Discord. And after that? Well…you’ll just have to wait and see. We’re cooking up some very good stuff for campaign two.
Secondly, we are doing a live show in Austin, TX on February 27, 2020! It’s the day before my birthday and I am extra extra excited. JTP and Spirits will both be doing full-length live shows, and your ticket gets you into both. The more people come to our live shows, the more shows we get to do, so join us by grabbing your tickets now at multitude.productions/live
And third, we are changing merch providers! Our brand-new character pins of Tracey, Inara, Oatcake, and Chad are available in the new Multitude merch store. I’ll tell you that the Chad pins are wining right now, but I’m very curious to see what happens over the next few weeks. This is where all future JTP merch is going to live. That’s multitude.productions/merch. But we’re leaving the Teepublic store up until January 31, 2020. So if you want to grab any of our stickers, shirts, totes, pillows, or anything else that the Teepublic store has to offer, there’s many designs, many products, there’s a lot of good stuff you can get there. Head on over to jointhepartypod.com/merch before January 31.
Also, hey hi hello to our newest patrons: David, Bess, Sheri, Gail Ann, Cate, Emily, Hidde, Enrique, and to Lada, who upped her pledge like a true champion of the realm! After listening to this episode don’t you want to scream about it with other JTP fans?? I know I do. So you can pledge just $2 to get access to our Patron-only Discord, among other amazing benefits, at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. That Discord will be hopping even in between seasons, so it’s a good time to join.
We are sponsored again this week by our friends at Hero Forge. If you listen to Spirits you may know about my complicated stance on centaurs. But that is the newest creature available on Hero Forge, and I have to admit, these centaurs slap. Hero Forge offers fully customizable tabletop miniatures with dozens of fantasy races and thousands of parts to choose from. Their easy-to-use design tool lets you build your perfect miniature online using a fully 3D, in-depth character creator right in your web browser. Whether you’re making your rogue teen or, yes, a centaur, this is where you go to get minis in D&D, so visit HeroForge.com to start designing your custom miniature today.
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And our thanks to Twenty Sided Store in Brooklyn, NY for supporting this and every episode of Join the Party, whose co-owner Lauren Bilanko is our resident Master, Dungeon Master. We bring her your D&D questions, like this one from listener Meghan, which tugged at my heartstrings: “What advice do you have for someone starting D&D by playing a rogue?” Master Dungeon Master says, “Have fun! Rogues can take many forms. Choose expertise in a skill that defines your character and is in line with your background. Not all rogues are thieves, and not all thieves are alike. Think about why your character is sneaky and how you would most often use your skills to your advantage. Don't forget your dice! A second d20 and a couple extra d6's will come in handy for your sneak attack ability.” Pick up your sneak attack dice—you’ll need six of them folks, 6 d6s—at Twenty Sided Store. Get 20% off using the discount code JOINTHEPARTY, in store or online.
To everyone who’s joined us on this journey: thank you. We love you. And now, let’s get back to the show.
[midroll ends]
Eric: He leans down to you, and then says, what sounds like a hundred voices at once, he leans down to both of you and says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): [deeply, intimidating] Welcome…to my final form.
[electronic action music plays]
Amanda: Can I try to boop him?
Eric: Do a Dexterity roll.
[dice roll]
Amanda: 24.
Eric: Yeah! You boop him right on the not-nose that he has.
Amanda: Anything happen? It worked with the dragon, so...
Brandon: Cuteness will always outdo evil.
Eric: No. [laughing] Inara, unfortunately nothing happens.
[Amanda laughs]
Franny is just like,
Eric (as Franny): Oh fuck. This is bad guys, this is bad.
[Amanda laughs]
It shouldn’t be like this, this is really bad.
Eric: And the Speaker takes a step back and goes,
Eric (as the Speaker): [more eloquently] Oh…fuck.
Amanda: Oh no…
Eric (as the Speaker): It’s going to be a little bit harder to hold him down isn’t he?
Eric: Everyone is just gaping up at this massive version of what the Council of Bright now is. We’re going to jump back to Initiative. It is now Valentine’s turn, it is Initiative count not. It’s a bunch of your people, so what do you want them to do? It’s going to be Valentine, Franny, Brink and Alonzo and Chad.
Amanda: Can we tell what kind of damage he’s vulnerable to?
Eric: Um…
Brandon: It’s not booping, we know that.
Eric: It’s not booping.
Amanda: Do maybe a History check from the books we were researching before we got here?
Eric: I’m…well…let’s make an Arcana check because there is nothing in the history books that says that he can make an infertile pact with two energies at the same time to create himself into a monster.
Amanda: 10.
Eric: With a 10, he’s got a lot of energy swirling around, I mean, probably not radiant and dark damage but you probably get some hits in on him.
Amanda: Cool. I would love for Valentine to cut the cable of anything heavy and suspended that might not be properly attached, so maybe that’s like one of those big curtain rods going across the stage that falls down on top of him. Maybe that’s a very heavy light that was improperly cabled?
Eric: Alright so I’m going to roll for sneaking. It's dark in there, so I think it might be a bit easier to do.
[dice roll]
Yeah. So Valentine is now getting up on the catwalk, let’s see, uh, what they can find.
[dice roll]
Yeah. Valentine rolled alright, so I think that they found like a pretty bif light and cuts it down and uh, it falls on top of the Council of Bright monster. Now, he can literally reach up into the catwalk and try to just to swat at Valentine. They dodge out of the way and says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Ew! Gross…that’s weird.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: The light is going to fall and give 14 points of damage.
Brandon: That’s a pretty good light.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: I mean…it’s just a light falling on top of him, it’ll hurt, but he’s a massive energy monster now.
Amanda: Hey, gotta start somewhere.
Eric: Yeah, it is now Franny’s turn.
Brandon: What is Franny capable of?
Eric: She can do lots of magic.
Amanda: Do you think she can do like a block or an End Spell or something like that to sever his connection?
Brandon: Yeah…
Eric: Yeah, sure, talk to her about it.
Amanda (as Inara): Franny, this guy is a jerk, the Undying Light must love you a lot more than him!
Eric (as Franny): I mean I don’t know, I’ve just been kinda drinking it, I haven’t been really commuting with it all that much.
Amanda (as Inara): Well…I think you have something inside that will let you commune. Why don’t you try to interrupt this connection or…or have it help us instead?
Eric (as Franny): Okay. Uh…yeah yeah yeah…uh ...okay. Um. Hey! [short pause] Undying Light, I guess, uh…what’s up? It’s your friend Franny. Uh…you’ve really been so supportive of me for a long time and you’ve kept me alive for so long and I feel like we’ve really had a good connection from all of you floating through me and you saw what happened to me when I didn’t have you so…I would like to pledge myself to you if that’s a thing that you’re like, still looking for and you’re interested in? Uh…what do you say? Uh, can you help us out with this guy because he sounds like a butt.
Eric: [laughs] Making an Arcana check for Franny.
[dice roll]
Okay. Franny rolled a 17, so I think that she’s trying to commune with the Undying Light still? Its probably going to take her a little while to like maybe get through or see if this, they respond, but she feels like she has a connection there and that she’s going to try to take as much cover as possible. Like really move the focus on this connection here. It looks good, looks good though.
Uh, it’s now Brink’s turn. Brink turns back to Inara and be like,
Eric (as Brink): WHA?!?! WHA…?? Somehow, in our live together, this is still the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to us. What-what do we do?
Amanda: What can she do?
Eric: She can move really well, she can sense the presence of illusions, and oh she can see shape changers not in their original form. Actually, that’s interesting. She’s like,
Eric (as Brink): Hey, um…I know that this all wild, but you know the guy’s still in there.
Amanda (as Inara): Can you try to hit him?
Eric (as Brink): I mean, we can all try to hit him, it’s just like, you know um, there’s a person inside. He’s not a monster, he’s still a man inside of there. So you can still do all the stuff that you can do to a guy. Like he’s not a god, Tracey was right, he’s just a man.
Amanda (as Inara): Where is he inside the illusion?
Eric (as Brink): Probably, probably right in the center there. Like imagine this was a big ol snowsuit? He’d be like in the middle.
Amanda: Okay great.
Eric: It’s now Alonzo’s turn. Alonzo’s going to hit the deck again and he’s going to look for more things to help you guys. He says,
Eric (as Alonzo): Hey! Hey Tracey! Tracey!
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah?
Eric (as Alonzo): Catch!
Brandon (as Tracey): Oh, okay!
Eric: Make a Dexterity saving throw.
Brandon: 13 + 1 for 14.
Eric: Alright 14, you hold your big hand up, and 2 more batteries hit right into the meat of your palm.
Eric (as Alonzo): I’m going to run away now!
ES T: Nice work!
Eric (as Alonzo): Thanks! This is weird!
Eric: He runs over to Holmes’ body and he like uses it as protection. It’s now Chad’s turn, and Chad bless his heart, Chad is just going to run at the Council.
Amanda: Do it buddy.
Eric (as Chad): I’m doing it…for my friends!
Amanda (as Inara): Chad jump! It’s in the middle!
Eric: Chad’s going to…[chuckles] Chad’s going to run over to the Council and as hard as possible just like…concentration. He’s defending his friends, he’s defending the realm, and uh he takes his sword and like slashes it at the feet of the Council of Bright. Like he gets, he slooshes up to the stage and just swings his sword as much as possible and it cuts into his shadowy foot there. And the Council is going to take 10 points of damage.
Amanda (as Inara): Good job Chad!
[everyone chants for Chad]
Eric: It is not the Council of Bright’s turn. The Council of Bright leans own and gets like face to face with Chad. If, you know, Chad had a face.
Amanda: That’s a weird thing for you to say about a person.
Brandon: Yeah, all people have faces.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): What exactly is going on here?
Amanda (as Inara): Pick on someone your own size!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): How about I just pick on all three of you?
Eric: He holds his palm at the three of you and just shoots out a blast of Light energy. I need all of you to make a Dexterity saving throw.
Amanda: 23.
Brandon: [monotone] 6.
Eric: Alright so Inara you save, so you fully get out of the way and I think you get no damage if you avoid?
Amanda: Uh uh, yep.
Eric: Alright, Chad and Tracey take 31 points of damage.
Brandon: Uh…well…how does death work again?
Amanda: How many points do you have left?
Brandon: Uh, 0.
Amanda: So do you pass out?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Okay so Tracey on your turn you’re going to make Death saving throws unless someone heals you. Chad is still standing, I think that Chad has still, even though he’s taken the full brunt of this damage he’s still trying to get in front of you and defend you. So when you go down, Chad just scooches in front of you. He’s like,
Eric (as Chad): YOU WILL NOT TAKE DOWN MY FRIENDS.
Eric: It’s now Initiative count 20, and Holmes and Watson are now down so the Council is going to use a legendary action and he’s going to…
Amanda: Why don’t I get some of those?
Eric: [chuckles] He’s going to use his left leg, which is also light, and he’s going to extend it out, and he’s going to spray light all throughout the room. And the light feels like a substance? It’s almost lie you could float something on top of it if it was there. And he doesn’t say anything else about it, he just kind of sprays this light, this heavy light everywhere in the room.
Brandon: Gross?
Amanda: Gross.
Eric: It is pretty gross.
Brandon: What does Valentine say?
ES V: Ew, gross!
Eric: It is now uh, the Speaker’s turn. I think she’s going to heal Tracey.
[Amanda and Brandon cheer]
Alright Tracey you get healed for 26 points of damage. So yeah, you pop backup.
Brandon (as Tracey): Ach! What did I miss?!
Eric (as the Speaker): More of the same really, uh, I’m, uh, the Speaker it’s nice to meet you.
[Amanda laughs]
Hello.
Brandon (as Tracey): [hisses trying to pronounce Speaker] Sss…ssss…ssss.
Eric (as the Speaker): Say it. That’s it, you can do it Tracey.
Brandon (as Tracey): I’m screwing with you Maria, I know it’s you. Thanks so much for healing me!
Eric (as the Speaker): If only to save the world I guess…again which it seemed like you caused?
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah!
Eric (as the Speaker): Oh, okay. Yeah, more of the same. As it were.
Brandon (as Tracey): As it were…
Eric (as the Speaker): All the same. All as said well is same.
Brandon (as Tracey): Do you want to kill this big monster?
Eric (as the Speaker): That sounds good, I would love that. That would be so good.
Brandon (as Tracey): Let’s do it.
Eric: Uh, Inara, it is now your turn.
Amanda: So Valentine’s light trick, would you say that they dislodged any ropes or cables that may have come down from the rafters?
Eric: Uh, you know I’m going to roll to see if Valentine did that and use that as Valentine’s turn.
[dice roll]
Yep, Valentine is a good ol friend and Valentine throws down some ropes for yeah.
Amanda: Awesome. So I’m going to grab onto one of them, swing to another, and then use my momentum to swing as close as I can get to the middle of the Council’s body. Stab him with my short sword.
Eric: Okay, why don’t you make an Acrobatics check first.
Amanda: 18.
Eric: Okay, yeah. With an 18, you’re definitely able to pull down on all of the ropes and flip over and get to the meat of the Council of Bright.
Amanda: So then my attack roll is 21.
Eric: Yeah, 21 that hits.
Amanda: Alright, so Trace can you count my 6’s?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Alright so start with 7 + this is the first one, 8, 10, 12, 13, 16, 18.
Eric: Wonderful, alright, Yeah 18 points of damage, that’s great. You swing over.
Amanda: And finally I’m going to actually stay on the rope just to see if that gives me any vantage for any other reason, but I’m also going to throw my bag of tricks down to Alonzo so just in case he doesn’t find something on the floor, that can be his failsafe for what to do on his turn.
Eric: Wonderful, I love that. Yeah you throw it down and I think Alonzo’s been pretty like, on the ball, and he just like grabs it. He’ll be like,
Eric (as Alonzo): What do I…what do I do with it?
AM T: If you don’t find something just open this up, toss this up!
Eric (as Alonzo): Okay!
Eric: Uh, I love that, that’s a really smart move. Tracey it’s now your turn.
Brandon: Okay, so when I went unconscious my uh rage ended.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: So I’m now able to cast spells and what Tracey is going to do is turn to uh the Speaker and say,
Brandon (as Tracey): Speaker I got your back. Thank you.
Brandon: And I’m going to cast Sanctuary.
[Eric hums in understanding]
So I ward a creature within range against attack until it’s spell ends, any creature that targets the warded creature with an attack or harmful spell must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, they must choose a new target or lose the attack.
Eric: Smart, alright. So what does it look like when you cast a spell like that?
Brandon: So Tracey, um, has gully sort of gained control over the magic he’s able to produce. So all the sickest on his body start to glow orange and all sort of coeless into one form of energy and then come out of his left arm and then out of his cannon and sort of shower of orange sparks that cascade down upon the Speaker.
Eric: Interesting. That’s beautiful. And then what do you do? Are you going to move or are you going to say where you are?
Brandon: Yeah, I’m going to dash over to the turret.
Eric: Okay, nice. SO the turret is still on the, is till on the stage so you’re still kind of within range.
Brandon: Oh good, so I’m within 40 feet?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Great, so I’m going to go sit down, I’m going to throw the pillow off the chair…
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: I’m going to sit down in it.
Amanda: Fuck pillows! I love pillows so much.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon: So Sanctuary is actually a bonus action, can I shoot the turret?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: [cheering] Shoot the gun! Shoot the gun! Shoot the gun!
Eric: So you can do one of two things, you can do…
Brandon: Tracey does consider for a moment how he can fit this turret on his arm.
Amanda: Mhm.
Brandon: And then thinks better of himself.
Eric: So there are three different things you can do for the turret. Uh fire shot, like what was done to Inara, which are three different shots. You can do one big shot which is a force shot that pushed them back as well. And you can do an acid shot which is uh…if you miss still splashes back and could poison them.
Brandon: Yeah, I’m going to try a force shot and hopefully I’m going to aim it at his feet so he like stumbles and falls over hopefully.
Eric: Awesome, okay. Make an attack roll, just use what you would usually use for your cannon.
Brandon: You’re sure it’s not less Strength?
Amanda: It is pretty strong.
Eric: Well it’s not your Strength, you’re literally aiming it.
Amanda: [scoffs]You’re pretty strong to fire the gun so hard.
[dice roll]
Brandon: It don’t matter because I got a non-natural 20!
[everyone cheers]
Eric: Alright, that hits. Good job. So I want you to roll another d20, and I’m going to roll damage for you.
[dice rolls]
Brandon: 15.
Eric: Damn, alright, your force shot does 18 points of damage.
Amanda: Niceee.
Eric: He’s looking…he’s looking kinda hurt for monster made of light and energy. Looks pretty hurt.
Amanda: Nice dance Tracey. I love that.
Brandon: Tracey does the robot.
Amanda: Yep.
Brandon: I don’t know how to do the robot.
Amanda: Doing great man, whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.
Eric: The fore of the force blast also pushes them back and uh it’s like you’re like I said there is man in there. So it’s like he’s on, or he’s in a mech made out of darkness and light and he stumbles backwards and he falls back off of the stage and lands on his butt.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: So he’s now prone.
Brandon: Was there any pillow underneath it?
Eric: There was no pillow.
Brandon: Oh no!
Eric: He’s hurt, his butt hurts.
Amanda: What was the bruising damage?
Eric: [laughing] 18 points of damage. He falls over.
Brandon: Can I try something? Just talking?
Eric: Yeah, what’s up?
Brandon: Tracey has never communed with the Undying Light, which is the force that gave him life.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: So I think Tracey, as he shoots this cannon, and after the Council falls on his butt, Tracey is going to internally prey to the Undying Light.
Eric: Alright, we’re going to come back to that because that’s interesting, but I want to put a pin that. It’s now Valentine’s turn.
[dice roll]
Everything is going wrong up in the catwalk. It’s like the fact that this large, giant being has been crashing things around. Valentine has been trying to take care of themselves. They don’t do any damage this turn. It is now Franny’s turn, and Franny is going to continue to commune with the Undying Light. And also, Tracey is also going to commune with the Undying Light at the same time. So what do you say to the Undying Light?
Brandon (as Tracey): Look I know I haven’t really been a devout believer, and I’m not sure I believe in gods or monsters, but…we are intertwined, and in this moment of convenience for both of us, we could explore what it’s like to actually become one.
Eric: Interesting. Make a Religion roll. I’m going to make an Arcana for Franny.
[dice roll]
Brandon: I got 18.
Eric: Alright well Franny rolled a 4, so that’s good. SO you’re thinking about it, you’re thinking, communing. You’re seeing that Franny is also thinking about it, and she’s not. She’s like…
Eric (as Franny): I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be thinking about. There’s this juice I drink, it’s like preying to Mountain Dew.
[Brandon laughs heartily]
The two of you are really bonded in this moment and like the relationship that you all have with the Undying Light and even the part that you’ve seen in the Undying Light in the wrong hands in the Council of Bright, and how at least Johnny tried to do good with it. And you look up at the Council and like, he looks a little thinner? And maybe you’ve been used to the fact tat now there’s a monster like running around, but he looks less strong and less defended.
Brandon: Great.
Eric: So uh, I wonder what that did do?
Brandon: Interesting. Interesting.
Eric: It is now the legendary action from the Council of Bright. And the Council of Bright looks at Franny and is like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): WHAT…? You drink this stuff?! Are you drinking this? This is the lifeblood of power and you use it like its soda!? I cannot believe that. You do not deserve to be here on my stage.
Eric: And he points his dark hand at Franny, and Franny is going to have to make a Charisma saving throw!
Brandon: She’s really charismatic!
Amanda: She is, and her muumuu gives her advantage!
Brandon: It does, it’s an advantage muumuu!
Amanda: Every time you wear a muumuu you advance on all checks!
Eric: An advantage muumuu? Um…
Brandon: [with gritted teeth] Don’t you touch my Franny! I’ve grown to love her!
Eric: Franny says,
Eric (as Franny): Yeah, it’s delicious. Sometimes, I make a float out of it. Like I put ice cream…[laughs] with it and it just tastes so good.
Amanda: Uh huh, uh huh. Sometimes she goes to the movies, buys a soda, and then uses her flask to spoke it right there in the movies.
Brandon: She does do that.
Eric: The Council keeps holding out his massive dark hand and just like nothing happens.
It’s Brinks’ turn! She also has like a bow, she’s just going to try to fire.
Amanda: And she knows exactly where to aim.
Eric: Well she just rolled a 21, so she does know exactly.
Amanda: HEYYY!!!
Brandon: And she’s at a safe distance.
Amanda: My honey doesn’t need me, she’s got this!
Eric: She does 8 points of damage. Good job.
Uh, it’s Alonzo’s turn. So Alonzo’s going to look around for something…
Eric (as Alonzo): I don’t know why…the Council is really bad at keeping stuff together. I found another battery! Tracey do you want it?
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah, toss it my way!
Eric: Alright, Dexterity saving throw again.
Brandon: 11.
Eric: Yeah, he throws another battery and you grab it out of the air and no Tracey you have four more batteries.
Brandon: Yeahhh.
Eric: Alright. It is now Chad’s turn.
[Amanda and Brandon chant ‘Chad’]
I think Chad is going to try to attack him.
Amanda: Yeah!!!
Brandon: God, Chad is so brave.
Amanda: He is so noble, he’s the best warrior!
Eric: [laughing] Uh…Chad misses.
[everyone laughs]
It’s just too much! He’s just a brave warrior swinging his sword and, but he’s also an ooze.
Brandon: You know, to air is human.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Exactly. Imagine like a Chad postal stamp that they’re going to issue after our bravery.
Brandon: Oh my god.
Eric: And again the Councils like…
Amanda: The whole thing is Chad.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): I don’t…what is happening here? This is sad, are you making this monster do this? Cause this is just embarrassing.
Eric: And Chad’s like,
Eric (as Chad): I’m no monster! I’m a hero!
Eric: He’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Please can someone tell him, that’s sad, it’s really sad.
Amanda (as Inara): Shut up!!!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): You’re his friends…I can tell him. I don’t think he’ll believe me cause I’m also a kinda of terrible monster creature, but I’ll tell him.
Amanda: I cast Mage Hand and put it over his mouth.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Eric: Alright its the Council’s turn. I’m not cruel enough to have to play out me having a conversation with somebody else to break to Chad that he’s not a human. I can’t do that.
Brandon: He is a human though, I don’t know what y9ou’re talking about.
Amanda: It must be a lie. Good people don’t lie, Eric.
Eric: No one is really talking about it, Chad could be a half-elf.
Amanda: He could now.
Eric: He could be. Uh, it’s now the Council of Bright’s turn. And now the Council holds out both of his hands, the light hand and the dark hand and swirls it around. And in the floating heavy light somethings being made. Its like the lightness and the darkness are being sewn together and it’s this huge body. This huge cylindrical body and you see that there are flippers on one side and a long tail at the other side. And then a gaping mouth. And then the Council pulls his big energy arms back and that circularity is just ripped off and all you see is a skeleton. And you’re looking back at the bone whale. Who is now floating through this hard light. And now I’m going to add the bone whale to the Initiative.
Brandon: [groans] That’s how I feel.
Eric: Alright, it is now the Speaker’s turn. Uh, what do you want her to do?
Brandon: Start the ritual.
Eric: You want her to start it?
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: Okay. So she’s going to move as far back as possible, back towards the door. And she’s going to lay all 5 of the items around her in a circle. And she’s going to hold her arms down and concentrate. Do you want to target where the Council of Bright is right now, or do you want to target on the stage? Where do you, where do you want it? Like imagine this is a big ol circle.
Brandon: Oh oh! Like to fall into?
Amanda: I think the stage because then we can like taunt him back to it.
Brandon: Yeah, or we could just do it directly behind him, so when he falls over…
Eric: So right now, he is standing directly off the stage. Would you like it to be where he is standing or like the middle of the stage?
Brandon: He’s going to return to the stage, right?
Amanda: I think so, yeah.
Brandon: So the middle of the stage?
Eric: Okay. So you see this 10 x 10-foot circle expand on the ground and its filled with the purple light that you’ve come to associate with the Council and with the gods themselves. Similar to the light of the uh, Astral prison itself. And you can see that the Council looks down and like he’s caught in it. He’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): You’re just going to lay a trap? You think I’m just going to stand here? That’s it? No wonder you let me out. It was so easy for me to trick this uh, teenager to let me out the first time.
Brandon (as Tracey): I’m like…I don’t even know how old I am!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Not you! The guy, the man! The man you called Champion. This guy’s 19! Of course I convinced him he had magical powers! Remember when you were throwing ice around? Yeah? That was me! He thought he was a sorcerer! And that’s how I let you out, I tricked your Champion! You think just a regular trap is going to hold me? Absolutely not.
Eric: And it is now the whale’s turn.
Amanda: Every player’s favorite sentence.
Brandon: The whale goes into the sea…and eats plankton.
Eric: Okay, I need all of you to make Constitution saving throws.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: 16.
Brandon: 18.
Eric: Okay! So, the bone whale swims over through the hard light over to the stage and conjures lose like really nasty fish and birds that are just flying around in this miasma of zombified flesh. And it’s pretty nasty! Uh, you guys take only 7 damage. Uh, also the Council takes 7 damage because the Council’s within the miasma of nastiness and Chad takes 14 damage.
The Council of Bright is looking not great. Like this energy is really falling off of him, now he’s looking a little ragged? Like he’s wearing a suit that’s too big. He’s still angry and puffing and firing at all cylinders but he’s not looking great. Inara it’s your turn.
Amanda: I’m going to rope swing and monkey bar my way across the stage toward the Council and then jump from a rope just straight into him to stab him again in the chest.
Eric: Dope. Alright, make an attack roll. Oh actually, make an Acrobatics roll.
[die roll]
Amanda: 21.
Eric: Okay. Make an attack roll.
[dice roll]
Amanda: 18.
Eric: That’s an attack. I would also say that Chad is still hanging tough in there, so I’ll give you the sneak attack damage.
Amanda: Good job Chad!
Okay 7 +…let’s start our count, 9, 13,17, oh hoho, 22. 28 points of damage!
Eric: 28 points of damage, holy shit. You, when you drive your dagger in, you feel like it’s connecting with a person.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: How do you get out of here? Are you just going to be stuck in the Council right now or do you want to try to escape as well?
Amanda: So I’m going to stab the sword into what I hope is his heart and then use the hilt of it as like a wall to jump away. So I want to jump off and roll on the ground more toward Brink and the party.
Eric: Sure, I think that’s a little dangerous. I’m going to make you make another Acrobatics roll.
[dice roll]
Amanda: 22.
Eric: Hot damn. Alright, yeah, you don’t take, I was going to give you falling damage and do a biffed it, but you rolled down and now where do you want to be?
Amanda: I wanted to tumble closer to where we ended up before we went on stage, so off the stage, sort of to the side. I’m like a triangle point between Tracey and the Council and myself off the stage.
Eric: That sounds great, alright. I’m going to use the legendary action from uh the Council. And Tracey I need you to make a Charisma saving throw.
[dice roll]
Brandon: 4.
Eric: Alright…so Tracey you are all ready to level this thing, just fire right out at the Council of Bright. And he holds his dark hand up to you and says,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): TR8C. I don’t think so.
Eric: And you pop…
[animated popping]
Of where you are sitting in the chair and now you’re sitting in a booth, back in the Cheesecake Factoryesque mansion from the Bachelorette Party.
Brandon (as Tracey): Oh no…
Eric: So you look around and there are chandeliers everywhere, you’re sitting in what looks like to be a kitchen area from the Bachelorette tournament and there’s just like nobody there. It’s just you. Sitting.
Amanda: Is the house wrecked?
Eric: Yeah, the entire mansion is totally wrecked. Like there is columns coming in from the ceiling a few feet over, like everything is kind of flooded a little bit. Just like tables and chairs are pushed over. You seem to appear in the only still working booth in this entire dining area.
Brandon: Tracey closes his eyes and prays to the Undying Light,
Brandon (as Tracey): [praying] If we were ever one, this is the moment I need you.
Eric: Make another Charisma saving throw.
[dice roll]
Brandon: 16!
Eric: Alright, with a 16, you think real hard about it and I think you see the carvings on your body glow. Not with the usual orange light, as before, but it’s softer. It’s warmer. You pop back into existence.
[popping sound]
Sitting back down on the turret.
Brandon (as Tracey): You didn’t even give me a pillow!
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): What…what are you doing back here?!
Amanda: The Council takes 10 sick burn damage.
Eric: [chuckles] SO you have all of your NPCs now, you have Valentine, Franny, Brink, Alonzo, and Chad. What do you want them to do?
Amanda: I think Valentine should do the same. I think Brink can defend Franny and…I think Chad can keep attacking, he’s been doing well. What do you think?
Brandon: Yeah, I mean, do we need to defend Franny?
Amanda: Or the Speaker, I’m sorry, from potential disruptions.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: This is true, sounds good. Brink’s going to hold her action, she’s going to run over to the Speaker and she’s going to get in front of her and hold her action in case anyone gets close.
Amanda: Yeah, and Franny should keep communing.
Eric: Right, Franny is going to keep communing. I’m going to do attacks for valentine and Chad then.
[dice roll]
Valentine tries to cut down another light, but it just crashes on the stage in front of him.
[dice roll]
Chad gets a hit, uh and then he rolls a nat 1, so he wobbles over to the Council was now standing, and says,
Eric (as Chad): I’m going to keep defending my friends!
Eric: And he’s going to do…
[dice roll]
He’s going to do another 8 points of damage. Yeah, the Council’s looking real messed up guys. Alright, it’s now Alonzo’s turn. You want Alonzo to look for a battery again?
Amanda: Or run away, right?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Alright.
[dice roll]
Brandon (as Tracey): Alonzo, you’re more than just a teenager!
Amanda (as Inara): You are the champion!
Brandon (as Tracey): You’re also a champion battery finder!
Amanda (as Inara): Seriously you’re so good at this!
Eric: Yeah, Alonzo is running around in the chaos just trying to avoid everything that is happening here. And it’s just too dark, he just can’t find anything.
Eric (as Alonzo): Guys! I’m so sorry, I can’t find it!
Brandon (as Tracey): You’re doing great!
Eric (as Alonzo): Alright…great!
Amanda (as Inara): Reach into that bag then!
Eric (as Alonzo): Okay.
Eric: Okay, let’s use the bag of tricks. So roll a d8.
[dice roll]
Amanda: 6.
Eric: Alright with a 6, Alonzo reaches in, pulls a ball of yarn, and says,
Eric (as Alonzo): Alright. Go! Animal! I…okay…uh.
Eric: And the yarn spins itself into a giant bore, with yarn tusks and just looking as fierce as ever. And the bore is going to run at the bone whale.
Brandon: Surf and turf! Surf and turf!
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Yeah, alright. It does some damage, like it barrels into the bone whale and kind of cracks it’s tail off a little bit?
[Amanda makes sound of disgust]
It’s a monster, it doesn’t really use it for swimming. But it is now attracting the attention of the bone whale.
It is now the Council of Bright’s turn.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Really? You think I’m just going to stand here? It is not going to go down like this.
Eric: He takes a full step to the left to be outside of the circle.
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): If you’re going to try to take me down, then all o you are coming with me.
Eric: And he harnesses the bright arm of his body and he like spins it up and like he’s winding up to punch something. But you can see that his fist is just glowing brighter and brighter and brighter and is becoming this larger and larger circle. This thing is so bright that you certainly can’t look directly at it. And he throws the circle out in front of him and it just bursts.
[loud burst]
Explosion of light. And I need everyone in this area, so you three Valentine, and Chad, are all going to have to make Constitution saving throws.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: Got a crit 1.
Eric: Oof, alright. Tracey what did you get?
Brandon: 13.
Eric: Alright. Everyone needs to take 37 damage.
Amanda: Well, I faint then.
Brandon: Me too…
Eric: So does…[sighs] Well, let me tell you what happened.
[music starts]
Inara and Tracey, both of you are blasted by this explosion of light. It’s so bright it hurts your h=whole body and both of you feel like your facilities are shutting down. And both of you wake up and you’re in a boardroom and your sitting across from Adamah, again.
Amanda: I slap the table.
Amanda (as Inara): This was not the deal.
Eric (as Adamah): Hey! Hold…hold on! Listen, I’m casual, this is me on the weekend!
Eric: And you can see she’s wearing like a tracksuit and it also has shoulder pads and she has like converses kicked up on the table, but they have heels, they’re like wedge heels.
[Amanda groans]
Uh, but she’s like,
Eric (as Adamah): Hey! I’m off I’m not working, that wasn’t me, I didn’t do it.
Amanda (as Inara): Getting some rest now that Ze’ol is out of your hair?
Eric (as Adamah): Yeah, you know. It’s a lot easier of a…you know my workflow just kind of goes a lot better.
Amanda (as Inara): And who do you have to thank for that again Tracey? I forget.
Brandon (as Tracey): It was me.
Amanda (as Inara): Oh, that’s right! It was you!
Eric (as Adamah): Yeah, that was you two. Well I figured someone would be able to put together that you don’t die because Tracey was waving Ze’ol’s head around in a jar. So…that’s the secret. Is that nobody can die. Luckily, not even your friend Chad over here.
Eric: You see that Chad now has an office chair floating inside of him and he’s like,
Eric (as Chad): How…what-what happened!?! Where are we?!I’m so confused.
Amanda (as Inara): Where’s the Council then? That should’ve taken him out too.
Eric (as Adamah): And it did, it definitely did. The only problem is that was more like…you need to imagine that energy, that pact he made…it was like an armor. Uh, he can’t wear his armor anymore, but he’s still running around down there.
Brandon (as Tracey): Send us back so we can throw him, throw him in the prison!
Eric (as Adamah): Oh yeah, for sure. I just um, I thought you would find this fun.
Eric: And she pulls down a [laughs] a projector screen just from where she’s standing, and um, she snaps, and it cues up. And imagine there’s like an above camera that’s filming the whole battle like it was a soccer match. And you see all of the cool stuff that you did. Inara flipping around, Tracey disappearing and coming back, and Alonzo throwing all of these batteries around and then just being so great.
And then all the sudden you see that there is this flash. Everything is white and you see everything comes back and all your friends are defending themselves. Like they’re putting their hands in front of their eyes, and uh, you see that the Council is now kind of back just to his regular form. He’s just a guy again. And he’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Oh! Well, I thought that would work better. Bye!
Eric: And he tries to run away. He turns on his heels to make a break for it and there is a hand reaching up from the ground and holding onto his ankle. And it’s just bright luminous white. And then you see he looks down and tries to shake it off and he takes another step forward and there is a dark hand that reaches up and grabs him by the ankle. It’s just these shifting shadows around it.
Adamah says,
Eric (as Adamah): Yeah, well. It sounds like you still have some friends aside of us three. Good job. We’re proud of you. Thank you for letting everything work the way it should be.
Amanda (as Inara): I’m not quite sure how to react to that, so can I go back to punching?
Eric: And she snaps her fingers,
[finger snap echoes]
And all three of you wake up back down on the stage and so does Chad. Chad wiggles so you know he’s okay. And um…
Amanda: Chad wobbles but he don’t fall down ya’ll.
Eric: It’s real. And the Council is now stuck, he can’t, he’s trying to kick as hard as he can, he’s back in his human form now. And he’s like, all of his clothes are like ripped. It was like his [laughing] silk pajamas he was wearing, just totally ripped. And he’s just pissed, he’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): Hey!! What, let me go! Let me go!!
Eric: And these hands, this one dark hand and one light hand, are just holding him as hard…holding him in place and he can’t move.
[fast-paced music]
Amanda (as Inara): Madame Speaker, the floor is yours!
Eric (as the Speaker): [sighs] I’ve always wanted you to hear the…are you two okay, are you both okay?
Brandon (as Tracey): We’re fine! DO the thing!
Eric (as the Speaker): I’ve always wanted to hear…
Amanda (as Inara): The floor is yours!
Eric (as the Speaker): I’ve always wanted to hear those words. Council of Bright, on behalf of I, the Speaker of the Concentric States, I banish you back to the Astral Prison where you belong.
Eric: And again she holds her hands out and the circle of items glows around her and the purple, and the purple circle envelops the Council of Bright once again. After a few seconds, you see that it starts to create like a literal sphere, like what was around Alonzo before, but right now they’re starting to build it. Like one strand at a time. The Council of Bright is just fighting and screaming upset that he’s back at you like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT ENDS! I AM THE COUNCIL OF BRIGHT! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY, I'M THE JUDGE of…
Eric: And you see that as more things come around, he becomes more and more muffled, he’s like,
Eric (as the Council of the Bright): No one can put me together! [more muffled] I’m the defender of warforged I created! [gets quieter and indiscernible]
Eric: And just totally muffled and is banging on the sphere. And uh, the purple around the Speaker fades away. She takes a step forward.
Eric (as the Speaker): Well…[sighs] I think for once, we did it. Glad that’s over. Does anyone want breakfast? I am so hungry.
Eric: Alonzo says,
Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah, I could eat! Hi, I’m back, hi! I’m back! I could eat, that would be great.
Amanda: I hug him.
Brandon (as Tracey): And as Inara goes over to hug Alonzo, Tracey ambles over and just lays his head on Inara’s shoulder.
Eric: Brink walks over and throws her arms around you, Inara. And Oatcake pops in and snuggles right in between you. And Franny comes over and gets like waist high on Tracey. And even Chad tries his best to try to not hug anyone too tight. And for once, it’s a good hug.
Brandon: We don’t even have to roll for it.
Eric: We don’t even have to roll for it.
[Amanda laughs]
[serene conclusive melody, eventually fades into theme music]