Like college graduates, they’re thrust into the world with all the knowledge and no idea how to apply it. Aggie leans in. Val catches up with the family. Milo gets lunch.
Housekeeping
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party,
Eric: Our powered friends tackled the Volcano challenge, grabbing three orbs before the time ran out. And that’s all that happened. Well, Aggie got blasted by a lot of lava, Val stole a corgi, and Milo refused to be jump scared. And Clippy was there. And they ignored a nice old man. The usual. But they did it! And learned a little bit about themselves along the way. [singing] And now we’re living in the Lake Town City world and I'm a Lake Town City girl la la. Let’s get the party started.
[Theme music]
Eric: After your training at the Fun Danger Zone/Little gym/palladium emporium—
Julia: Okay!
Eric: Of training—
Brandon: Oh wow this is getting better and better!
Eric: Yeah it does uh Dr. Morrow has released you from your training for the day. So in game mechanics all of you have gained half a level. If we were playing an experience points type game or we were playing an RPG or you were playing Pokemon, Brandon—
Brandon: I choose Julia!
Julia: [Like a Pokemon] Julia Julia!
Eric: Your experience points are half oh my god—I just got distracted by figuring out what Julia's pokemon name would be like “hey whuta-fu-du-ah forget about it”
Amanda: Let's say you just permitted Tom Nook to build you a basement, you are halfway to the 3 million bell loan.
Eric: Yes and the leveling up that we do in between sessions, kind of in between arcsl those are like full levels up but that doesn't take away from the experience points that you have from doing training. So if you lean into the things that maybe you're not so good at or you make some very important plays, I will give you the other half of your experience and you will get a full level up.
Amanda: Ooh a bonus level up!
Brandon: Cool!
Eric: Wonderful so after Dr. Morrow has you know read out your strengths and your weaknesses and your CO2 release, and your max heart rate, and how much you hit that—
Brandon: 12.5%! What up!! I don't know if that's anything…
Julia: I don't think it is.
Eric: Brandon here's the thing it was never anything so you're fine.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: And your max threshold. The three of you sweaty, can go out back into the world and do what you want to do. I would say that this is about probably late afternoon evening, we didn't say like what day it was so I kind of giving you free reign to kinda do whatever you want here. Brandon remember Milo can only speak in barks, and does understand the sounds of animals at this point.
[Brandon laughing]
Brandon: This is very interesting. I have some ideas. Is there a zoo in Lake Town City?
Eric: Yeah you can go to this do you just want to go Milo goes to the zoo for the rest of section 14. We'll wipe that just imagine whatever it is, and we'll go to the next character. But yeah the three of you can kind of go about your day I think Dr. Morrow says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I really appreciate all of you taking the time to do training, and I think there's more to do here. I hope that it wasn't just keying in on your flaws, but enhancing uh the things that I know that you're good at, and what I want to show the city to do. Because you're so much better than Emily Slaughter, I just want everyone to know that.
Brandon (as Milo): Thank you!!
Amanda: Aggie tears up.
Julia (as Val): She sucks.
Amanda (as Aggie): Speaking of which, I think that we need to at least reach out to her to make sure she doesn't become like our super villain, um so I am going to text her and meet up for coffee or something see if I can just smooth things over.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh man her last name is Slaughter, she'd be such a good supervillain, we have to stop this!
Amanda (As Aggie): Yeah I think all the ingredients are there.
Julia (as Val): Solely because of the name, no other reason.
Amanda (as Aggie): And like just being really good at ebay is— makes me think that she's untrustworthy so—
Brandon (as Milo): Uh yeaaaah, yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): No offense Milo.
Brandon (as Milo): N-noone none take— none taken.
Eric: You know what she's keeping in that Google Calendar is a scheme no one that organized is using it for good.
Amanda: I totally agree with you.
Julia: Something to say with your partner sitting next to you?
[Brandon and Amanda laughing]
Eric: She's like Em—
Amanda: Julia, it's role-playing, we play other than ourselves!
Julia: Alright.
Eric: And Dr. Morrow finishes up after you guys all shit talk Emily Slaughter for like 10 minutes. just imagine and then like we kind of just end on it and she's like
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): And that's also why I don't like her, I would love to set up— I would like to set up another training for the three of us I think that we made some really good progress and uh Aggie if you want to bring Quinn just to help fill in some information for her, I'm definitely happy to do this, and I think that the sooner we do it the better.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah I'll see if she's around, like I said she is she's filming something somewhere but I'll double check to make sure.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No problem.
Eric: Alright so what do you what do you guys want to do?
Amanda: I'm going to text Emily and say “oh hey my phone broke sorry I didn't return your texts. Do you want to grab coffee tomorrow?”
Julia: “My phone broke for three months, sorry I never texted you back.”
Eric: Well let me clarify this are you what is your strategy here for that text? Do you want her to actually think you broke your phone? Do you want her to think that you're lying to make her feel bad that you came up with such a bad lie? Like what is the what's the motivation here?
Amanda: I think it's just to say something nominal to address the fact that our last text was from like three months ago, and it was like call me back. Ideally I would like for her to believe that I'm at least making an effort to excuse myself, you know? Even if it's a lie.
Eric: Let's just do raw charisma then.
Amanda: I mean they're both 0 babe.
Eric: Oh okay.
Julia: I'm glad you leveled up your charisma so it's not a negative anymore.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Uh well it's a 4. So I'm going to use a luck point—
Eric: [Laughing] You’re gonna use a luck point on this, that’s amazing.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: That's a 6.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Emily is unflappable!
Amanda: That was my last luck point fam, just so we're all clear.
Julia: Oh boy okay.
Brandon: You can— you could take a nap or something.
Eric: Aggie then sleeps for 18 hours until the meeting.
Amanda: I'm meeting her tomorrow.
Eric: Yeah that's fine. I think Emily texts you back and says
Eric (as Emily): Sure sounds great! Cat smiling emoji
Julia: Bad, bad, bad sign.
Brandon: That is a bad emoji.
Amanda: Aggie stops as she’s walking
Amanda (as Aggie): Guys, is the cat bad? Not the cat, this one?
Brandon (as Milo): Yes!
Julia (as Val): Any cat emoticon is bad.
Eric (as Emily): Yeah where do you want to meet up? I know this great matcha juice bar that is super close to my apartment we should go there!
Julia: [Laughs] Ohh power play.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh I usually just go to Mountain Brews you know it's connected to Mountain News in historic Lake Town.
Eric (as Emily): Oh uh— I don't I can't find my sky tram pass, so if you could come to me that would be super helpful.
Julia (as Val): Power play!
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay how is 11:00 A.M. tomorrow?
Eric (as Emily): Oh I have a phone call at 11:00, can we make it 11:45?
Brandon: Woooow.
Amanda (as Aggie): Let's just say noon then no worries.
Eric (as Emily): Oh noon’s great!! exclamation point exclamation point heart eyes cat.
[Julia groans]
Amanda (as Aggie): Guys I don't think this is gonna go well.
Julia (as Val): No, no it is bad.
Amanda (as Aggie): Val what are you doing at noon tomorrow?
Julia (as Val): I gotta walk some dogs in the morning, but like after that it should be fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): I don't think that I should show up with more than one person in terms of the power play, and making her feel like we're on even ground. Even though we're not and I'm better. Um but could you just like be kind of nearby?
Julia (as Val): Sure? Like I'll walk the dogs over there would that work for you?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah just just to be in the vicinity, and if I need you guys I'll call you.
Julia (as Val): Sure.
Amanda (as Aggie): Or how about this, I'll send you one of those cat emojis.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I don't need your passive aggressive cat emojis!
Amanda (as Aggie): As the signal!
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric: At this point Tuna is now sitting on your head Aggie and says
Eric (as Tuna): Oh well it would be so fun if we were invisible, and just like kind of sat there like we were in a magical inflected Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie.
Brandon (as Milo): Tuna—Tuna, Tuna go away.
Eric (as Tuna): Okay
Brandon (as Milo): Tuna flash!
Eric (as Tuna): Okay okay fine.
Eric: And then there's like an audible poof, and Tuna disappears like Tuna is Salem in Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
Julia (as Val): I'm just saying the cat seems like it did have a good idea though.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh did it? I wasn't listening did it?
Eric: Sorry, hold on when Milo says “I didn't understand what Tuna said” you hear [dog howling noises]
Julia: Oh god.
Amanda: Whoops.
Brandon: God damn it.
Amanda (as Aggie): As fun as that sounds Milo no offense, once more, I think that the odds of the situation up if you and Tuna were present are much higher.
Brandon (as Milo): You know? That— that
Brandon: And then Milo goes on a very intelligent tirade about how Aggie makes sense, but he appreciates their friendship and is mildly hurt but understands the process but it's all in dog language so I don't have to say it.
Eric: It's just like one long howl.
[Howling]
Amanda: I just nod.
Julia: Like a beagle.
Eric: Wonderful alright yeah, so now you have a noon tomorrow with Emily Slaughter, Milo and Val if you want to do stuff before then we can uh come back around to the meeting with Emily Slaughter.
Brandon: I think I'm going to text my dad and see if he has time to like grab lunch or dinner tomorrow.
Eric: Yeah sure! It's weird you're typing and it's just woofs— no I'm just kidding.
Brandon: I like to go to his office if I can, but sometimes they don't have visitors.
Eric: That's a wonderful idea why don't you roll just a straight up d20 for me?
Julia: Mysterious.
Amanda: Luck roll! Luck roll.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 15.
Eric: Yeah you uh why don't you start this text conversation with your dad?
Brandon: Okay Milo pulls out his phone, as he's walking away from the group and texts his dad and says
Brandon (as Milo): Hey, you have time to have lunch tomorrow at the office?
Eric (as Hank): Oh hey bud!! (two exclamation points) We'll have to check if the CIA isn't going to bring sandwiches in, but it seems fine!
Eric: And then the okay emoji three times.
Brandon: Great yeah, Milo just like thumbs up reactions his text.
Eric: Nice your dad then sends you an article explaining that sharks are actually smarter than humans but they need to be below 100 feet in the water to keep their brains together, and once they go too far up they're just consumed by bloodlust, and he says
Eric (as Hank): PRETTY COOL!!!
Brandon: I read it and I don't sleep the entire night.
Eric: Let's roleplay Milo's insomnia just real quick!
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: Okay well it just goes like this we soft cut into him on the couch clicking through the episode choices of Star Trek Next Generation until he chooses one that's not scary and then watches it on repeat over and over again.
Eric: You watch the tribbles episode for five minutes, and then turn it off for five minutes—
Brandon: Excuse me Eric that's original series!
Eric: I know, I was making a different reference!
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Wow I'm so glad Brandon fully sound designed that little vignette of Milo in dreamscape on the couch.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon: I know it's beautiful right? It sucks that I had to cut it!
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Amazing, Val what do you want to do?
Julia: I'm going to go to Dominic's.
[Amanda gasps]
Eric: Oh wonderful you just want to go see Dom 5?
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: Do you uh give him the heads up?
Julia: No he's a restaurant owner, so obviously he's gonna be there.
Brandon: Julia do they have like a pizza of the day?
Julia: No what are you crazy?
Brandon: Okay so it's just like the classics?
Julia: Yeah—
Eric: [In a thick New York accent] The pizza of the fuckin’ day is the pizza I give you on the fuckin’ day!!!
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda: That's correct sorry.
Eric: That was Dom 7, he really came out strong.
Amanda: He’s like 4 years old!
Julia: Dom 7 is like 5 years old four years old.
Eric: Yeah, yeah oh yeah 100%, 100% I'm glad we're all on the same page, we've been playing this game for long enough this is good, excellent. Alright yeah you're gonna head over I think by the time that you get back all the way to Little Italy because there was a delay on the skytram because some geese were sitting on the lines
[Amanda aww’s]
Eric: [In a New York accent] These fuckin’ Canada geese coming here making me late. [Regular voice] yeah I think that you make it over to Dom's I think after the dinner rush so it's a little bit later into the night. You walk up and uh you don't like see anybody inside, there's a sign on the inside of the door that says Dom's is closed for an event “get your pizza somewhere else you jamokes”
Julia: Well I'm gonna let myself in because Val's an employee.
Eric: For sure, for sure so you go in. Yeah it's um ordinarily I think if you there was an event like the tables would be pushed back, you'd have the catering trays and the little flames underneath and everything will be set up. But it's just like nobody's here now, the staff not another customer is just like you don't see anybody as you walk into the pizzeria.
Julia (as Val): Some fuckin’ event.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: I think Val's just gonna wander back to Dom's office, I guess?
Eric: In the back in Dom's office Dom is leaning against his desk like watching a Mountain Lobsters game on his tiny tv that he has up in the corner.
Julia (as Val): So are they winning?
Eric (as Dom 5): AHH! Val—Val, you need to— you can't just walk in when the door is locked and it said “hey p—” there is a sign that says “hey people don't come in” you can't just come in and ask me casual questions.
Julia (as Val): Well it did say “hey go get your pizza somewhere else” and I'm not here to get pizza.
Eric (as Dom 5): Is this is this a not somewhere else does is there a sign is there a neon sign replacing the sign that my great grandfather carved out of a wood he brought over from the old country saying “somewhere else”
Julia (as Val): I don't know how to answer that question because you know the answer already so I'm just going to be like “hey what's up” oh you can tell me if they're winning or not.
Eric (as Dom 5): Yes also okay get— get Val get out of here.
Julia: Can I do an insight check real quick?
Eric: Yeah for sure I just want to see what's up classic Dungeons and Dragons move!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Okay um it's a 14 +3, so 17.
Eric: Okay you've known Dom for a while Dom's the kind of person when he's nervous he can't sit still like he sits for 30 seconds and he stands for 30 seconds, and then like he'll put his foot up on a chair for 30 seconds, he'll stand in a different part of the room, and you feel like you saw him in the middle of this like choreographed dance of trying to keep his nerves down. He has a hand jammed into his pocket, and it's like he's holding on to something in his pocket.
Julia: Sure.
Julia (as Val): So what's the event tonight?
Eric (as Dom 5): Oh you know uh one of those western peoples wanted to get some “authentic Italian food” and I'm like “okay” and then they canceled at the last minute. So you know you don't have to work it—it's cool it's fine.
Julia (as Val): It sucks you lost out on a lot of money then probably tonight because you know we're usually pretty busy during the dinner rush huh.
Eric (as Dom 5): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah um [beat of silence] yeah uh Val I'm just gonna tell you this one more time get out of here. Unless you don't and then, that's fine but I want to tell you that I told you to get out of here.
Julia (as Val): Okay well I did come and I wanted to talk to you about some things that, you know, maybe I had been a little reluctant about in the past and now you don't seem particularly interested in those sort of things so, it just seems a little odd to me, that's all.
Eric (as Dom 5): Well what kind can you be more specific or what kind of things?
Julia (as Val): It's the kind of things you're not specific about—
Eric: When you say that the door opens and like there's a little bell over the door so it's just like [bell chiming noises] and you hear
Eric (as random voice): Hey uh can I get just whatever pies you have really I'm not picky just give me the just give me the pies!
Brandon: Is this me?
[Eric laughs]
Eric: No, yes Milo is in there.
Brandon: No, no Brandon is this Brandon?
Eric: Yeah, yeah Brandon! Yeah Brandon showed up.
Amanda: Brandon would not go through a door with a sign on it.
Brandon: That's a good point that's a good point.
Julia: Do I recognize the voice?
Eric: Yeah that is a voice you recognize that is uh one that takes you all the way back to when you were eight years old, and uh someone who that gets you both a Barbie Dream House and a very very large Hot Wheels track and that is only connected to your aunt Minerva last seen roaming around in the Baltics looking for toad legs as your as your as your mom would call them.
[Brandon laughing]
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Dom then immediately stiffens up like tries to smooth out his short sleeve button down and wipe the flour off of his pants he says
Eric (as Dom 5): Oh uh you know uh Aunt Min, I wasn't uh I wasn't anticipating you to come so uh so on time.
Eric (as Aunt Min): [With a clear, almost posh voice] When I was studying with the gurus in the deep rocky mountains, I knew that time is all we really have. And then I said but we also have our things and they kicked me out.
[Brandon and Julia laughing]
Eric: Val you walk out and your Aunt Min—
Julia: Val doesn't even like walk out at first, Val just laughs.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Dom you have company?
Eric (as Dom 5): Oh you know it's just uh you don't— you know I don't want to wait—
Julia: Val just pokes their head out and be like
Julia (as Val): Sup Aunt Min?
Eric: So your Aunt Min to me she looks like Angelica Houston now. Like broad face and incredibly like severe bangs, but someone that you've looked at and be like “oh you've been beautiful your entire life, and this is just like another form of you being beautiful” like she was beautiful in the 70’s and she's like a different type of beautiful now. One that has like layers on it it's like those places where you put wallpaper just over and over and over again, but every single wallpaper is like gorgeous and $500 a roll.
Julia: Yeah that's just the general vibe of the Marconi family I feel like.
Eric: Yeah absolutely, she has a scar that runs from her shoulder to her elbow on her right arm, right now she's wearing kind of just like a simple black dress. But there is a massive shawl like one that covers at least 33% of her body at all times, the color of good red wine that's just like shifting and moving and you can never really see her hands because it's always covered in the shawl. And it it's cold it's December and like she's only wearing a dress and a shawl.
Julia: Big vibe when she sees you it's like our storm cloud passes over her face for a moment like what Dom has another proof there's somebody else here, and then she recognizes it's you and says
Eric (as Aunt Min): VAL! [Beat of silence] Oh come on, come here, come here, come here, come here!!
Eric: And she just opens her arms up to you.
Julia: Big old hug!
Eric: She like grabs you by the shoulders be like
Eric (as Aunt Min): Oh you've— you look so big you're so strong, oh who are you— who are you punching? Who who's getting the other other side of these fists? Like come on!
Julia (as Val): Everyone who deserves it, you know how it goes.
Eric (as Aunt Min): That's— I do actually absolutely know how it goes! Absolutely, absolutely oh it's so good to see you!
Eric: At this point Dom’s just like
Eric (as Dom 5): Uh and can I get you anything can I get you anything do you uh uh do you want the uh—
Julia (as Val): The woman asked for some pies, Dom you could give her some pies.
Eric (as Dom 5): Uh yeah I'll just start working on some pies.
Eric: And Dom dumb runs to the back there's no kitchen to the back.
Julia (as Val): That's uh, okay that was his office.
Eric: Aunt Min pulls a table to the middle of the room and pulls up two chairs and offers you to sit down.
Julia: Okay and I do.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Oh Val, is so good to what this is such a wonderful surprise. I couldn't have thought any of the multiverses this, the other one the one that the devil controls, the one that Jesus Christ our lord and savior controls, I wouldn't have been able to think that I would have such a lovely surprise. How are you? Tell me everything!
Julia (as Val): I'm good you didn't know that I'm in Lake Town City like full-time now?
Eric (as Aunt Min): No I did, I just I'm more like the surprise of you being here right now in this moment that we have with each other.
Julia (as Val): I live like right upstairs.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Another surprise!
Julia (as Val): I works here.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Wonderful surprises upon surprises next thing I know Jimmy Hoffa is going to jump out from underneath this table and tell me where he was his entire time.
Julia (as Val): I mean you know who's to say?
Eric (as Aunt Min): Who is truly
Eric: And she grabs your face
Eric (as Aunt Min): Who. Is. To. Say?
Julia (as Val): I mean if anyone could tell us it would probably be you right? Like you'd be able to see it.
Eric (as Aunt Min): If only honestly if only it worked like that. [sighs]
[Beat of silence]
Eric (as Aunt Min): If only…
Julia (as Val): So what are you doing in uh in Lake Town City?
Eric (as Aunt Min): Yeah oh you know the way that the the we follow the winds and sometimes the winds take you in the place you didn't expect. I put my sail up for my sailboat and it took I thought it was gonna take me to New York City but it took me all the way up the Hudson River, and here I am.
Julia (as Val): Is that a metaphor or did you get a boat?
Eric (as Aunt Min): A little bit of both. Sometimes as I learned from the guru at the top of the highest peak in our wonderful state of Oregon. Sometimes a metaphor is just as much not a metaphor. It sounds better in sanskrit, I'm sorry it's the the translation as we said it's not. So what no— I want to know what's how what's going on with you? How are you?
Julia (as Val): I'm you know, I'm good just doing— doing my thing working mostly.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Mhm, and whatever—what are you doing what are your jobs?
Julia (as Val): Well I make pizzas for Dom, I walk dogs every now and again, I do like that I am a person with a van I help people move things, and uh you know Postmates, I do that sometimes.
Eric (as Aunt Min): I don't what is that it is.
Julia (as Val): Like people who are too lazy, or can't leave their apartment they text me and then I pick them up either groceries, or take out food or sometimes condoms.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Mhm, mhm, got it, necessary. That's necessary work if people can't go out and get condoms for themselves, someone needs to provide for them.
Julia (as Val): That's what I'm here for.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Well Val, you seem like so you're so resourceful, and you're so you're so smart, and strong, and kind, and I just I hope that you're finding what makes you happy. You're finding your purpose.
Julia (as Val): Thank you I I think I am!
Eric (as Aunt Min): I you know sometimes you do all these things at once and you think that the sum of these things are going to come together and be one thing, but sometimes they're just little pieces and it's a jigsaw puzzle that doesn't actually come together. So I want you to know that I hope that you have a full puzzle inside of you.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Okay I—I think I understand that metaphor pretty well, and I think that my puzzle pieces are gonna come into a full picture.
Eric: She then immediately like suddenly grabs your hand and holds onto it very tightly.
Julia (as Val): Hello she looks into like the middle distance and she says
Eric (as Aunt Min): Who's Agatha?
Julia (as Val): I don't know anyone named Agatha. Is that Agatha Christie? Is Agatha Christie trying to contact you because I love her mysteries.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Aunt Min): Huh no, I guess not.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Okay well you know if you need anything I'll just be in Lake Town City for a little while.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Doing Aunt Min things. Uh Val if you could be such a sweet porcelain doll found inside of a treasure chest buried at the bottom of all of the seven seas, if you could just go get Dominic for a moment and uh we have some
[Beat of silence]
Eric (as Aunt Min): Intimate things we have to discuss.
Julia (as Val): Sure.
Brandon: Gross.
Julia (as Val): That's— that's fine, sounds good I'm gonna go get him.
Eric (as Aunt Min): Thank you.
Julia: I get up from the table, and I go to the back to Dom’s office being like
Julia (as Val): There's no pizza here.
Eric: Dom is just like going through papers and like pulling a manila folder together he's like
Eric (as Dom 5): Oh yeah, yeah, yeah don't it's fine, uh yeah yeah I'll tell you I'll take care of it sure yeah.
Julia (as Val): Hey Dom?
Eric (as Dom 5): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?
Julia (as Val): You remember the chair?
[Beat of silence]
Eric (as Dom 5): Whe— yeah yeah the chair.
Julia (as Val): You remember the money that I took to pay for the chair?
Eric (as Dom 5): Uh-huh.
Julia (as Val): You remember the suitcase that the money was in?
Eric (as Dom 5): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Remember me giving it to the guy even though it was uh attached to my wrist via handcuff?
Eric (as Dom 5): Mhm?
Julia (as Val): You know he had to open that bag in front of me right?
Eric (as Dom 5): Mhm.
Julia (as Val): And obviously you put what was in that bag into that bag.
Eric (as Dom 5): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): I want to know where that came from.
Eric: He just stands there for a moment like he doesn't know what to say. His mouth is literally open and then you see he's looking over your shoulder and Aunt Min is standing behind you and walked up like a jungle cat. And you see that she's holding an onion in each one of her hands, and she gives one to you Val and she says
Eric (as Aunt Min): You know in france you can determine how much snow is going to fall that winter by looking at the thickness of the onion skin.
Eric: And she pulls like what can only be described as a to-go butcher's knife—
[Brandon and Julia laugh]
Eric: Out of her pocket she throws the onion in the air and just slices it in half and she shows it to you and she like points out the skin on the outer rim and on the inner rim and she says
Eric (as Aunt Min): This is pretty thick. Snow's coming a lot of snow this year. Val I have to talk to Dom.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Aunt Min): We'll talk soon.
Julia (as Val): Have a nice night!
[Transition note]
Eric: Hey it's Eric can I talk about the cold weather for a second? Now there are many people out there who get sweaty at the first sight of heat rolling towards them, and I am one of those people. It's like I try to explain this to people like my brain is an old computer. If you run too many things on it gets hot, and then you know it has to give some of its ram over from computing power to just running the fan, and then the fan goes like waaaah! It's super loud and the computer doesn't run nearly as well. That's like my brain when it's hot out like 40% of my brain is devoted to running the fan inside of myself, and trying to find air conditioning as soon as possible, so it's cold I finally feel like my full self is engaged and I'm like a real person. Welcome to the midroll take out all your sweatshirts y'all it's fall!
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And now, back to the show!
Eric: So Milo after a long night of you barking at squirrels
Brandon: Okay hold on, I'm gonna stop you there. I speak dog I am not a dog.
Eric: I'm joking!
Brandon: I did bark at Tuna just to like annoy them
Eric: And then Tuna's like
Eric (as Tuna): I understand you.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: the next morning you wake up and you look at yourself in your bathroom mirror and the ghost hand is no longer covering your mouth.
Brandon: Oh thank god!
Eric: Uh so yeah you head over to your dad's office uh where is it and what do you what does it look like?
Brandon: They try to keep it sort of low-key obviously, because it's not necessarily something that's acknowledged. It's probably like on the very very edge of College Park it's like in the nice district like where maybe the professors live. And it looks like uh sort of just like a non-descript building, like if you passed it without knowing what it is like you probably you might not know what it actually is but obviously everyone in the town is like “oh yeah that you mean this building yeah!”
Eric: Yeah no I don't really know what's in it I thought it was gonna be an Old Navy for a little while but I guess not.
[Eric and Brandon laugh]
Brandon: They do have like a couple of like just hanging pants outside just to confuse people.
Eric: Just to confuse people. It just says “sale!” But it doesn't say what the sale is for, yeah. But you go inside and I guess like you take the secret elevator or not the real elevator that goes down, and you're now in the office of Technology Assessment on the wall is like kind of the you know the U.S. seal but instead of holding like vines and arrows it's holding a magnifying glass at an ethernet cord.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: I think it's like pretty open plan like desks like imagine it was like a 1960s ad agency, but instead it's also like an open plan it's like someone just pulled out all the walls. So your dad's sitting at just like this really nice desk and some like old like really brown and like cushy leather chair, but you can see him like from 100 feet away, and he's seen—
Brandon: That’s the worst of both worlds!
Eric: Truly truly and he gets up he's like
Eric (as Hank): Milo!!!
Eric: And he runs over and gives you a big hug.
Brandon: Yeah and it's a good hug!
Eric: He says
Eric (as Hank): So I have some intel
Eric: And he pulls you in close and he says
Eric (as Hank): There's a new Vietnamese place nearby and I think we should hit it up.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh is it is it like a money money laundering scheme or?
Eric (as Hank): I mean we can pretend it is but I think that it's a good deal.
Julia: No, it's just delicious.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay I'm down! I'm down, let's go! Okay!
Eric: Your dad gets you both bahn mis but instead of chicken pate it's like guacamole. Like really good guacamole okay.
Brandon: Milo takes a bite he's like
Brandon (as Milo): I'm not sure about this one.
Eric: Your dad is like halfway done with his he's like
Eric (as Hank): It seems pretty good! I think it's great to me!
Eric: Your dad then says
Eric (as Hank): Uh Milo where is the winter coat that I got you? It is so cold!
Brandon (as Milo): Is it?I guess I didn't really— it didn't really feel that cool to me that's weird.
Eric: Your dad takes a hat out of his pocket and holds it up to you.
Amanda: Awww peak dad.
Brandon (as Milo): Thanks.
Brandon: Is it like a beanie hat?
Eric: Yeah it's a beanie and it has like the Office of Technology Assessment like seal on the front/
Brandon (as Milo): Thanks dad and I put it next to my spring rolls.
Eric (as Hank): Milo you know for a fact that's not what hats are for.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Eric (as Hank): I will send you the scientific the scientific studies that say what hats are for.
Brandon (as Milo): Can you? That would be delightful.
Eric (as Hank): They keep your brain in. Literally.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh crap.
Brandon: And then Milo puts the hat on quickly.
Eric (as Hank): Yh yeah so hey so well yeah what's going on? How's uh how's MMFFC? How's everything what's going on you know things are good generally Lucas says hi.
Eric (as Hank): Oh nice!
Brandon (as Milo): He wanted me to to do your secret handshake that you two apparently have, which I'm pretty sure was just him like trying to screw with me, but I you— know I don't know whether or not that's true so.
Eric (as Hank): Oh Old Lucas Skywalker yeah absolutely!
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Eric: And then he does it like in the air and it's intricate like hand movements, and then there's a lightsaber portion.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh great so that is real um—
Eric (as Hank): But don't worry Milo, Milo yeah I'm your father.
Brandon (as Milo): That's true thank you.
Eric (as Hank): It was a reference to the Star Wars movie.
Brandon (as Milo): Right, the emphasis was wrong so I didn't catch it.
Eric (as Hank): Sorry.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh that's okay uh you know it works good, um yeah I've been you know I've been sick a few days, so I've been having to call in a few days. But really what I wanted to um ask you about well— I just want to have lunch with you because you know you pick the best places dad—
Eric (as Hank): Thank you it's all I really want to hear! It's—it's so you know you spend so much time raising a son to grow up to be such an upstanding member of society, but all you really want, all parents really want is the affirmation that the small things they do matter so thank you Milo!
Eric: He's already finished the other half of the banh mi.
Brandon: And Milo sort of like slides the thai iced tea away from his dad because clearly he's had too much caffeine.
Brandon (as Milo): It's actually funny that you asked about work though I I came across a thing um that came in like a new artifact came in I want to ask you about if see if you had anything about it.
Eric (as Hank): Oh yeah?
Brandon (as Milo): There was this like uh it was really cool it was like this big um sort of like science tomb?
Eric (as Hank): OH!
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah I'm pretty sure— we're pretty sure it came from like Dr. Morrow’s lab like we put in Dr. Morrow's exhibit so I from what we think what we've like unearthed is like it was an experiment she's she was working on. But um there was potentially some like covered up let's say accidents if you know what I mean?
Eric: Yeah your dad is like in full “thinking about this” mode he has his eyebrows— I feel like he has really bushy dad eyebrows, they're like so furrowed right now
Brandon (as Milo): And you I mean you know I love Dr. Morrow, I've been liking Dr. Morrow since I was you know six. So you know it's hard for me to think about anything negative about her, but like it's made me really wonder like what's the real story on the doctor? Is there stuff she's hiding? Are people getting hurt around her experiments? Do you know anything like that?
Eric (as Hank): I don't have anything off the top of my head I mean I can look into it but Dr. Morrow I mean she's I can't imagine. I mean, I know she's in power and everything and you know power corrupts absolutely, and everything that's the entire basis of my job with the doctor. I mean she's she has a good head on her shoulders she looks out for everybody, I mean I wouldn't have this job without her she created the office OTA. So I just I'm not saying you're not right, I just I I can't believe that she would be involved I can't imagine she would be involved in any of that. Or if I mean that maybe it's just not the whole story. I mean science tombs— it seems—
Brandon: Oh can I roll an insight check?
Eric: Sure!
Julia: On your dad?? On your dad, Brandon?!
Brandon: This is Brandon doing it, Milo would never roll an insight check on his dad.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 7 +7 for 14.
Eric: Okay with a 14 ask a probing question, and I'll answer truthfully.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, yeah yeah, I assume dispatch I mean we've—we've read all the biographies on her, but like I think I would think if anyone around town would you know be aware of any you know like rumors, maybe like there's some like whispers around the building that like people are scared to talk about, is there anything along those lines of—you know there is any reason that like I shouldn't trust her? As as as like a citizen of course, you know.
Eric (as Hank): No I mean no I don't I don't think you shouldn't trust her. She's great I mean we don't have anything on her at all. Like it would be I guess it would be kind of strange if an office that she made would investigate things on her. But like I haven't— I haven't seen but you know I haven't seen anything. There's nothing I guess? For the sake of rigor and data there should be but I guess there's there's not. Huh. I don't know I don't but like that could mean anything that could be there is nothing or there is the occam's razor version of this is that there is nothing because there is nothing. But right you know.
Brandon: Milo pulls out his phone and shows uh his dad the photo of the science tomb which is now the official name it's capital S capital T trademark.
Brandon (as Milo): Would you be able to like look this up in the database? Like is there any you know, or maybe ask around?
Eric (as Hank): You know that's funny you know what this looks like this looks like um— there was like an old run of like weird science comics in the 70’s and 80’s and there you know whenever they had something where they were turning human into not a human you know like part human-part fly, part human-part dog, how part human-part dinosaur. Always kind of look like this.
Brandon (as Milo): Part human part dog?! That's wild why would anyone— that would be weird.
Eric (as Hank): Do you uh you're you know hey do you ever run into Dr. Morrow at the at the the MMFFC?
Brandon (as Milo): No she doesn't like not at the museum like she doesn't uh—it's like it would be like uh Paul McCartney coming to the Paul McCartney exhibit.
Eric (as Hank): Sure yeah yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): Like it's just kind of lame I've seen that it's we it was weird he was like “oh bruv! Look at all me songs!” And everyone was like “what”
Brandon (as Milo): Oh no she obviously came to the dedication, with sure for like all of four seconds cut the ribbon, and left and I'm you know I've run into her on the street once or twice but no.
Eric (as Hank): Oh wow yeah, you know I know we you've been to some some dinner parties before I mean if you want to talk to her, I can introduce you.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah that'd be great!
Eric (as Hank): Sure yeah yeah! I'll get that together! Okay alright um but yeah Milo look into this.
Brandon (as Milo): Um maybe don't mention the death thing. I mean the accident thing.
Eric (as Hanl): Sure.
Brandon: And Milo looks around the restaurant.
Eric (as Hank): Right uh yeah yeah, no but yeah no that's fine. I think at this point Tuna pops up on your shoulder Milo and he's like
Eric (as Tuna): Daddy!!! Daddy hellooooo!
Eric: Tuna is going to make a jump at your dad.
Brandon: Uh yeah I quickly cast hold person and keep Tuna on my shoulder.
Eric: Oh my god what's the spell save on that?
Brandon: 15.
Julia: Alright come on, Tuna come on!
Eric: Beans I rolled a 2. Oh can you do a spirit surge for me my friend?
Brandon: Yeah!
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Yeah 10!
Eric: Oh okay, you're fine yeah but I will up my number by 1. Yeah Tuna like tries to do a leap from your shoulder to your dad's shoulder and then the ghost hand comes out of your chest and grabs Tuna out of the air, so there's just the ghost hand is holding Tuna as Tuna's doing like the cat thing they're like [angry cat noises] and your dad just like
Eric (as Hank): Yeah so they they really gotta change the coffee maker it's starting to taste really bad.
Brandon: And I just take a long sip of my thai iced tea.
Eric: [Laughing] Alright scene!
[Transition note]
Eric: Allright let's do Aggie and Emily Slaughter! So um like a block down the street from this really really new condominium is this juice bar a juice bar/matcha bar that's called JUICE!
Brandon: Jesus.
Julia: Right.
Amanda: I think when Aggie wakes up that morning, she'll text Val to confirm and say you know if you could just be around the block from or something that would be super helpful.
Julia: There's like a dog park probably like down the block from it or something like that.
Eric: For sure, for sure.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I do like the idea that you're gonna grab all the dogs and run over.
Brandon: Don't, don't let the dogs get into the fight.
Amanda: They’re in a dog park, they’re safe!
Brandon: Must protecc.
Amanda: They’re able to roam on their own if they needed to.
Julia: Exactly, I'll probably take Moxie because she's the smallest, and all the other dogs are gonna pick on her if I leave them.
Eric: Fair, fair. Okay so yeah Val you're within you're definitely within range and you're with the dogs. Aggie tell me what it's like for you to show up?
Amanda: Yeah I will drive across town begrudgingly. I hate coming over here, and I have not been to Thornhill in ages, and I haven't been this far outside historic Lake Town since the warehouse incident as I refer to it in my brain. So I will grumble and parallel park on the street after circling a couple of times, and be in the juice bar a few minutes before noon.
[Upbeat lighthearted pop starts playing]
Eric: Yeah as you walk in there's somebody standing like right inside the door that's like
Eric (as Greeter): Welcome to JUICE! Would you like to try this blueberry concoction?
Amanda: Aggie holds up her hand.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm not going to purchase anything, but my companion will.
Eric (as Greeter): Okay that's a weird way to talk to someone who works in an economic establishment but alright.
Amanda (as Aggie): Do you have a small black coffee, nothing else in it, no boosters or whatever?
Eric (as Greeter): Uh why would we have that caffeine sludge in JUICE!
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay how about a do you have environmentally friendly bottled water?
Eric (as Greeter): Absolutely ma'am! You can just order at the front, I'm just here to give you blueberry concoction!
Eric: And they're holding up like little tray of the little cups that have like a dark disturbingly navy blue drink in it.
Amanda (as Aggie): No thank you but I appreciate it.
Eric (as Greeter): Alright! Well if you want uh a new thing that we have on the menu, there is a a delish, there's a delicious new mushroom boost that you gotta try!
Amanda: Aggie is sweating.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh okay I'll think about it.
Eric (as Greeter): [Laughs] Okay so I rolled to see when Emily showed up, and I rolled in at 20. So Emily is already sitting in a table next to the window, and she's holding up a very deep blue navy smoothie, and like a bright yellow smoothie and she's holding them both up to you and she's like
Eric (as Emily): Oh Aggie— over Aggie over here!
Amanda: I give a little shrug to the employee at the door and walk over to the table.
Eric: Emily says
Eric (as Emily): Oh yeah I uh I just I love coming here, I'm just I'm such a regular these these both seem so good to me the blueberry concoction, and I guess this one the the name of it was just “yellow” but it was bold and underlined, so I either one if you want to try it!
Amanda (as Aggie): You are a braver woman than me.
Eric: So she gives you the yellow one.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you, what do I owe you? I should I have cash or—
Eric (as Emily): Hey Aggie come on between two women in this rough and tumble [whispering] powered [regular voice] business that we're in together come on we need to look out for each other!
Julia: Why are you whispering? You literally told the the newspapers what your name is! Damn you, Emily Slaughter.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: I will push the smoothie gently to the side and put my hands like flat on the table like fold it over each other.
Eric (as Emily): Oh you gotta try— you have to try it it's just gonna bring you all the energy you'll never have to have caffeine again! It will literally make you poisoned to caffeine like it will feel like someone is injecting you with poison if you even drink a latte.
Amanda: Aggie’s shirt’s beginning to get sweat stained.
Amanda (as Aggie): Listen my mother would never forgive me if I uh let food come before an apology, and I just want to say that I'm sorry that I didn't get back to you and you know whatever real excuses there were you know you made a real effort, and you reached out and I hope that you don't think badly of me, and I just wanted to you know say that uh first.
[Beat of silence]
Eric (as Emily): [Sighs then inhales] Thank you I really appreciate that. There is— you didn't really even have to apologize. I mean what it's it's silly it's really silly you just don't— you don't have to. But thank you, I accept your apology.
Amanda (as Aggie): Good I mean I want to know how things are going like what are you guys up to? I've seen the press that's like wow!
Eric (as Emily): Oh my god you saw that wow thank you so much I think that we're just doing a really good thing for the Upcountry Keepers, and I feel like we we're trying to really just make the city a better place, and if people won't come together, and you know fight for what's right and use their powers for good, that's just really what we're doing here and something that we're communicating with. And like you know the police chief, it really happened when they got that commendation, and the mayor really loves it, and I think that it's really good. Thank you!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah no I mean like how are how are you guys working with all those other agencies? That seemed overwhelming to me, kind of the idea of like doing something alongside what other agencies are already doing? You know me I'm just like a government employee, and you know rank and file is definitely the the name of the game.
Eric (as Emily): Oh my god, don't ever apologize for not knowing something I just like I am so happy to tell you.
Amanda: Aggie’s knuckles flex.
Eric (as Emily): Yeah no, I mean we're just over coordinating with everybody they give us some tips, and they point us in the direction I mean we do a lot of our own kind of rounds, and everything. But I think that they're just happy to have us around and will put us in the place that we need to. Like they see us as an extension of them, and that we just want people to believe in us and honestly that's that's all we can really ask for.
Amanda (as Aggie): No for sure has anyone have like reporters trying to get in touch like I don't know like Average Bear or something?
Eric (as Emily): Oh I mean— oh my god I didn't even ask you, like what is going on with your family? I didn't even know they were going to ask you about— I didn't even know they were going to put you in the same article that you know that Average Bear article.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah no. You may guess that it makes me kind of uncomfortable and I um you know, I don't want that kind of attention, my siblings have their own thing, and my parents and I just I'm I'm different than them. You know and so to see our name in print like that was was kind of a nightmare. And it's—it kind of threw me.
Eric (as Emily): Stop right there. Aggie the things that you're doing are so important. They're honestly the most important, and the fact that you're putting yourself—just because like you're one of your siblings uh it knows Kacey Musgraves, and another one like had won a bunch of X Game medals, like what you're doing is so incredibly important and the fact that you're putting yourself down like that it just it actually like it's as if I was drinking coffee right now. it's it's literal poison in my body.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow I I'm sorry I suggested Mountain Brews, I didn't— I didn't know your stance on coffee—
Eric (as Emily): No. I know I love coffee. It's just like now it's just like in Hamlet, someone poured poison into my ear, and then I expire, and someone should just take me off someone just take me off to a nunnery right now like come on.
Amanda (as Aggie): You do seem more energetic than any coffee drinker I've ever met.
Eric (as Emily): Thank you, you know it's that honestly, that boost— like you just gotta get those boosts it's the the mushroom boost they have here is so good it's like honestly they called it truffle boost but I don't know if it's truffle boost, so I think they just settled on mushrooms. I told them if it's not actually truffle they're gonna—
Brandon: Aggie, blow up the building, blow up the building! Get out!
Julia: Yeah it's bad! Get out of there!
Amanda (as Aggie): You know could you could you ask them about the mushrooms? Because I would love to suggest that same supplier for Mountain Brews. Do you know, do you know where they get them from?
Eric (as Emily): Oh no I don't. Listen, you don't want to ruin the magic.
Eric: Val make a perception check for me?
Julia: Oh god yeah.
Eric: Aggie you too.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: 5.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: 8, can I use a luck point? I mean it's been— I've had a long rest, right?
Eric: Yeah you can use a luck point.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: Oh yeah 18!
Eric: Yeah Val no you're good, Moxie and Rufus are really getting at it, so like you got to separate them.
Julia: Alright I gotta write down Rufus on my list of dogs.
Eric: Aggie for a moment you're just like trying to stay present while Emily is talking at your face, and for a moment you see like a really big bird just like flew by above the window, and like you can see like the shadow of something like flying by just kind of cast down, really quickly though.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know what I I think I might have forgotten to feed the meter, Emily thanks so much for meeting me, I just, I'm glad we could clear the air, and like I hope you know that you know you have my number, and my phone is everything is fixed and stuff now. But if you need me you know I'm here, and I hope the same goes for goes for you!
Eric (as Emily): Yeah absolutely!
Eric: I feel like as you're getting up, she like grabs your hand and like pulls you back down for a little bit. It's like now you're like half seated half standing she's
Eric (as Emily): Like you know I really um I'm so glad that us talking was so great, and I just wanted to talk to— I'm like I know that you're close with Val and Milo. But you know we're still looking for a fourth for the Upcountry Keepers. And I think you would be amazing. We need someone who has that combination of both raw athletic power and like healing and support, so I just want to I want to put that on the table before you go.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'll take it under advisement, thank you.
Eric (as Emily): Okay because you know us [whispering] powered [regular voice] girls need to stick together.
Amanda (as Aggie): Definitely.
Amanda: And I take the yellow smoothie very gingerly, and rush outside toward where my car is parked.
[Pop music fades]
Eric: Yeah I think as you look up you see the shadow is gone, make another perception check I want to see, I'll make another here
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 18.
[Traffic noises]
Eric: You can see standing on top of the building Sour Anthony is holding like a digital camera.
Amanda: I flip him off.
Eric: And he looks up and he's like
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hey fuck you man!
Eric: He flips you off back.
Amanda: I flip him off with my other hand.
Eric: He flies like five feet in the air and flips you off with both, and then he drops the digital camera, and he's like AH! and he dives down.
Amanda: I text Val
Amanda (as Aggie): Sour Anthony's around so beware, do you need a lift back to Little Italy?
Julia (as Val): No I gotta walk the dogs unless you want the dogs in your truck.
Amanda (as Aggie): No I think that would be too cute and I just wouldn't get anything done, thanks for being back up, and just watch watch your back on the way home.
Eric: Artists please give us fan art of Val and Aggie and dogs in her truck, thank you! And all of the dogs look different!
Julia: Yes there's— hold on I'll list off the types of dogs that we have.
Amanda: Moxie’s in the cab with us.
Julia: there's Bruiser the burmese mountain dog, there's Charlotte giant poodle, there's Moxie the golden retriever puppy, and there's Rufus who's a bulldog.
Amanda: Adorable!
Eric: Amazing Val and Aggie can you both make nature checks for me?
[Dice rolls]
Amadna: Got a 6 so I'm gonna re-roll.
Julia: Oh I got a 17 -1 for a 16 bruh!
Amanda: 8.
Eric: Aggie you're good, Val later that night when you're making dinner. I assume there's something with onion, um you pick up an onion and you look at it again and you're like wow these skins are really thick.
Amanda: Oh boy.
[Transition note]
Eric: Later that night you three get a group text from an unknown number and it says
Eric (as texter): Hey, it’s Dez, you guys home?
Julia: Yes!
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: Hi!!
Eric: Wonderful Aggie you hear a loud engine vrooom and you look outside and Dez is a stride like a 1940’s style motorcycle like an army issue with like a sidecar, and in the sidecar there's a big sack of stuff.
Amanda: I uh head outside to greet him.
Julia: Dez is tech Santa Claus.
Eric (as Dez): Oh yeah, yeah I was just um I got finished with some stuff. But I wanted to bring over there, so.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you! Did you want any I have like leftovers? It's just Greek take out, but I mean it's really good.
Eric (as Dez): Well I uh— I only eat once a day and I eat like—I have my own thing.
Amanda (as Aggie): Respect.
Eric (as Dez): Yeah I think, so yeah just uh hey check this out.
Eric: He holds out something to you that looks like just an aerosol spray can and it says preserver on the side.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh amazing! What is this?
Eric (as Dez): Yeah so yeah, like don't—I can't really tell you like how it works or anything but uh, I think what are you saying about neutralizing, and stuff uh this will definitely help you with that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Amazing, thank you!
Eric: So Amanda this is neutralizing spray uh you can cast counterspell once a session.
[Julia gasps]
Julia: That's very good!!
Eric: You can also use ki points to juice it as you would with counter spell instead of using spell slots, so ordinarily you have to like roll a DC and all that stuff but you can use a ki point to automatically like wipe it. Also for all you d&d nerds out there don't worry I will be sure Amanda can in fact counter spell abilities.
Amanda: What is the range?
Eric: 60 feet. So it's like this is like bear mace, it's like if you spray it at them, or you can spray it at the spell or whatever and you'll be able to like neutralize it in the air.
Amanda: Very cool you should not get closer than 60 feet to a bear anyway so that makes sense.
Brandon: Very importantly, this is not a true aerosol there's no CFCs correct?
Eric: Oh no it's just like it looks like—
Amanda: Super environmentally friendly.
Eric (as Dez): It looks like a yeah so uh I mean, it's really just like air if you just push the air as hard as possible through this thing, it's all I can't really get in— don't worry about it.
Amanda (as Aggie): It's like electrical fields.
Eric (as Dez): Yeah it's like it's electrons.
Eric: And Dez smiles as he says it's like electrons.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thanks man and if you if you're in the neighborhood, you know you're welcome to stop by!
Eric (as Dez): Oh yeah thanks I appreciate it. Um okay.
Amanda: Bye awkwardly.
Eric: Not and yeah uh alright yeah and he pulls up in front of— so Val I don't know what you're expecting but outside you hear the revving, Val sticks their head out their window you look down and you see Dez on the motorcycle just waving to you and holding the sack out from the sidecar.
Julia: Cool Val's gonna like just jump down the fire escape.
Brandon: Nice!
Eric: Make a perception check.
Julia: Perception uhhh
[Dice rolling]
Julia: 7.
Eric: Hey the lights are off in Dominic's so I guess whoever was in there is gone.
Julia: Yeah that's usually how that works just because the lights are off.
Eric: Yeah so Dez is outside and says
Eric (as Dez): Hey uh Val I've been working on some stuff if you want to check it out.
Julia (as Val): Hell yeah man let's see it!!
Eric: Uh Julia do you know like what a Nintendo Power Glove looks like?
Julia: No but I'm gonna google it real quick!
Eric: Hold on yeah so for those who don't know the Nintendo Power Glove is a real thing that Nintendo used to sell it was an accessory for the NES, and it's like it's like you put on a baseball batting glove but then attached to it is a keyboard, and it looks very silly. But what he holds out to you they really look powerful they're like gauntlets, there's some padding there to protect your hand, and also there seems to be some sort of just like mechanical stuff attached here.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So he says like
Eric (as Dez): Yeah so when you put this on it kind of takes your thing when you know you're vibrating everything, it converts that from moving energy into like actual energy and just like uh yeah I mean it's pretty— I think it's pretty cool.
Julia (as Val): That sounds really cool!
Eric: So these are volcano gauntlets.
Julia: Oh hell yeah, hold on so writing that down.
Eric: You can add an additional 1d6 fire damage to all physical attacks both your punches, and your spikes.
Julia: Oh that is very cool!
Eric: And Dez then tells you to hop into the side car, and drives you over to an abandoned lot like a few blocks away. He's like hey just like uh
Eric (as Dez): Look at a point like pretty far away from here.
Julia (as Val): Okay!
Julia: So I focus on like I don't know there's like a tire or something halfway into the lot.
Eric: You focus on it and then like a really small volcano plums out of the ground and like goes [blows raspberry] and like shoots lava everywhere and just like melts this tire.
Julia: That is extremely cool!
Eric: Dez like picks up a bottle that's on the ground and is like
Eric (as Dez): Hey uh focus on this.
Eric: And he throws it in the air, so then you it's like you move the volcano over like 10 feet, and then it shoots lava in the air and hits the bottle.
Julia: Oh that's extremely cool.
Eric: So mechanically you can cast create bonfire as an action once a day.
Julia: Okay great!
Eric: And since you're over fifth level it all it starts by doing 2d8, however if a creature or a thing you want to hit is 30 feet or less above the bonfire, ordinarily you just run it's a literal bonfire and you just run over it, but this is a volcano and it shoots lava into the air you can hit it out of the air.
Julia: Incredible!
Eric (as Dez): So uh can you you can like walk home or anything? I still got one more thing that I gotta do.
Julia (as Val): Yeah I mean I was gonna as a thank you I was gonna give you a tray of manigot so if you want to drop me off, I can give you the manigot but like—
Eric (as Dez): No, I eat once a day so.
Julia (as Val): You know it's already frozen so you just eat it whenever you want.
Eric (as Dez): Okay fine.
Eric: And he drives over to your apartment, and he takes it. Alright Milo you hear the same thing outside of your window [Eric makes revving noises]
Brandon: And Milo just assumes it's a motorcycle!
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: You got a text!
Eric: You get a text and it's Dez's face just blank expression looking at you
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: Terrifying uh I walk out my apartment, and uh walk up Dez, and I say
Brandon (as Milo): Dez like you can just say “hey I'm outside” and do you have to send me a weird sketchy selfie.
Eric (as Dez): I mean okay… Fine. Uh hey I got something for you
Brandon (as Milo): Wait I got something for you come upstairs!
Eric (as Dez): I have to the I mean can you get it and bring it back down? I gotta watch the thing here.
Brandon (as Milo): Actually that might be better, okay!
Brandon: So then Milo runs upstairs, and Dez sees like the front door open again, and nothing comes out but then you look down and there's like a two maybe one and a half two foot little model of the alien from Alien like animated walking towards Dez. And Milo runs out and is like
Brandon (as Milo): Look what I did!!
Julia: Horrifying.
Eric (as Dez): I admit, that's pretty cool like where, how did you get it to move? Was it ghost— ghost things?
Brandon (as Milo): it's ghost things.
Eric (as Dez): Oh hell yeah that's actually probably for the best, I was gonna ask you about that.
Eric: And Dez holds out to you two like black-black orbs that are about the size of bocce balls. They fit in your hand but it's a little bit spilling out. I don't know if this is like vanta black or there's something else that's sucking all the light but when you look at it it's just like dark.
Eric (as Dez): So uh hey can you run your uh your ghost stuff in here? There's like a thing there's like a little engine inside of it but I calibrate it to like be able to run on any sort of energy.
Brandon (as Milo): Sure yeah I'll give it I'll give it a shot cool I hold them and stare intensely at them and then hope for the best.
Eric: Yeah I think that you after you stare intensely at them, they then start to float up and then they start circling you in a slow orbit.
Brandon (as Milo): This. Is. Awesome. I'm a planet!
Eric (as Dez): I mean do you want me to tell you what else they do, or are you just going to—
Brandon (as Milo): Oh this is— there's more?!
Eric (as Dez): Yeah no there's more. So uh can you make them hit each other?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah!
Brandon: So Milo speeds one of them up a little bit more than the other one.
Eric: Yes then there's a very sudden look at this a space explosion is different than a regular explosion, you know like on earth we because of the way combustion works it's all fire and like red orange yellow just like bursting out in a burst. But a space explosion is like one is up and one is down because of the way there's like no gravity and everything so which one it just like moves, and it's like orange and purple and and white and blue,
Brandon: And there's no sound most importantly.
Eric: No there is no sound, it's just this and then nothing happens, you're just kind of standing there. And then you see Dez pick up a broken bottle on the ground and just hucks it at you.
Brandon (as Milo): AHHH WHAT DO- Dez!
Eric: And the bottle just passes through you and crashes into the wall behind you.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh. My. God.
Eric (as Dez): Yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): Am I invincible forever now!?
Eric (as Dez): It's— it's not forever. The engines are only able to hold it for a few seconds, but I think if you don't tell someone that you stuff can throw through you, it will be best for you.
Brandon (as Milo): That's awesome thank you Dez this is so cool!
Eric (as Dez): Yeah uh listen—
Brandon (as Milo): I know I don't understand your genius, but you should be getting a nobel prize.
Eric (as Dez): Honestly I don't understand how these work, so like let's just hope for the best. The doctor said it was electrons, I don't know.
Julia: It's all electrons.
Brandon (as Milo): I have some um just like leftover um uh thai food upstairs if you want some some food.
Eric (as Dez): Oh no I—I
[Eric bursts into laughter]
Eric (as Dez): No, it's just no I just eat—
[Eric starts laughing again]
Eric: Fuck you!!
[Everyone laughing]
Eric (as Dez): No I only once a day, and this was like my own thing.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay that's fine um yeah alright thanks for coming by!
Eric (as Dez): Hey I'll see you tomorrow.
Brandon (as Milo): Great!
Eric (as Dez): Okay bye.
Brandon (as Milo): Bye!
Eric (as Dez): See ya.
Eric: And Dez uh speeds off into the night.
[Transition note]
Eric: The next morning you three get a text from Dr. Morrow and she says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Hey uh listen, I set up a new program in the Fun Danger Zone Little Gym Explosion! Y'all come by, let's take care of it today!
Julia (as Val): Alright.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay yeah seems like you didn't have to type out the full name of the thing in the text, you could have just abbreviated it.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I’m still working on it.
Eric: I want every one of you to make either a survival or a nature check.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Survival and I rolled a 15.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I'm gonna use my last luck point.
Brandon: I did survival and I got a 12 +3 for 15.
Amanda: Got the same role twice uh survival is an 11.
Eric: Okay so all of you make a survival check, I think you all check your phones and check out your respective weather apps. I don't know which ones you have, and I'm sure it's finicky. I'm sure Milo you have a very specific one that you and your dad has rigged up to be exactly with the NOAA system.
Brandon: Absolutely.
Eric: You guys all get a check that says it's gonna be super cold today, and even for upstate New York Lake Town City stuff there is going it's gonna be super cold, and there might be some snow later tonight.
Amanda: Ominous.
Brandon: Beautiful.
Eric: Other than Milo, you and Val and Aggie have those apps that tell you like what to dress in it's like “hey make sure to wear boots, and a hat, and a scarf!”
Amanda: I've customized it so that it has pictures of all my flannels and their various weights.
Julia: It's very cute.
Eric: This is like the coldest day that you've had in this winter so far and in upstate New York honestly like there are two seasons there's July and there's winter so you've all done this before but put on your gloves it's gonna be a cold one.
[Transition note]
[Theme music starts playing]