The cherry blossoms are falling and we are changing to a new theme song to demonstrate the changing of themes. Ok, the podcast isn’t, but the anime based on the manga based on the podcast is. Milo gets answers. Aggie grabs a table. Val is burning up inside.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party...
Eric: Dr. Morrow has finished analyzing the truffles and is ready to share. She thinks this fungi brew in the wake of the diaphragm discovery. They absorbed the delta radiation floating around, which was the same radiation that gave the original Laketon residents their level up and VLT three, eventually their powers. So if someone eats a truffle, it will give them a massive boost for normal folks. It will just kind of improve their best quality. But for powered individuals, this is a super charge. Dr. Morrow also revealed that she captured Bones Botti and his crew in her pantry. That was helpful to everybody. It wasn't? Oh, okay. Aggie still isn't sure what's going on. Danny Milo asks Dr. Morrow if she fucked his dad and Val got attacked by Guttenberg. Who was Brett the camera guy the entire time? Let's untangle and then rectangle in the entanglements. Let's get the party started.
[Theme music]
Eric: This is going to be a little bit different of an entanglement, this is like early spring to late spring entanglements, so it's like you're changing the theme song of an anime which changes like once a season. So this is like in the middle and now we're going to like a cherry blossoms themed. It's like we're going from winter fully into spring. We're going from like in like a lion, out like a lamb fully. And we're going to montage through some spring scenes. And then there's that one line that is inexplicably in English that's like "rock and roll!" And then a bunch of Japanese.
Julia: Kiss, kiss fall in love.
Eric: Yeah. And then just like lots of cherry blossoms, like go by as we take a panning shot of the three of you and January looking out over a sunset. All of you are wearing short sleeves Milo fully back into his cargo shorts. It's perfect.
Brandon: Oh, hell yeah.
Julia: I thought he refuses to wear shorts. I thought that was the thing.
Brandon: Oh yeah, you're right.
Amanda: His light cargo pants.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: He's got like six pocket pants or whatever.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Eric: So earlier Milo pushed into Dr. Morrow lab after everyone left. Milo you turned on the quote unquote unhackable the quote unquote unhackable burner phones.
Brandon: Why are you putting quotes around it?
Eric: Oh, no reason. And then Brandon you came in with "did you fuck my dad?" Great. Thank you.
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda: That's right.
Eric: Incredible. Thank you so much.
Julia: Brandon the single fuck for that episode. Not me.
Eric: Yeah. That's our PG 13 rating. It's Milo come again and saying "did you fuck my dad\?!"
Brandon: Actually I think your one fuck in PG-13 cannot be sexual- a sexual fuck.
Eric: That's right.
Brandon: So we're, we're firmly in the R territory now baby.
Julia: Mmmm hell yeah.
Eric: There was a writer who came in from the 1920s Borscht Belt and was like, what if you say shnup, "did you shnup my father?"
[Brandon laughing]
Julia: There we go solved all of our problems.
Amanda: That was a real like the beam where like when one of your hands is giving your other hand a handshake. That was that joke.
[Eric and Brandon laughing]
Eric: I'm so self-conscious now.
Amanda: Oh, no. Why don't I make a bad joke?
Eric: No, no. I feel great. I'm still
Amanda: Okay okay.
Eric: I'm really juiced from recording earlier, so I was just dealing with it.
Amanda: I was going to say a non-sexual fuck sounds like college.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Oh boy.
Eric: See that was good. That was very good.
Amanda: Oh okay.
Eric: Oh man. Wonderful. Okay, so Dr. Morrow had her mouth, her mouth was open for a second and then she closed it and like thought about it for a moment and smirked to herself thinking "well this was bound to happen I guess." And then she said,
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay, I can answer some questions, but I want to make sure it's secure.
Eric: And she type some things in. And then the Faraday cage lowered and then the conversation sputtered out on the phone.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): You know, if I'm going to. Reveal to someone who I work with about my sexual conquests, I want to make sure that there's no communication, no one is listening in, you know what I mean? It would just be embarrassing and then it would get leaked and then I would have to go on upstate New York, TMZ. I'm sure that they have region - I haven't been keeping up, but I'm sure they have regional offices everywhere, so. Okay. I under-I also shouldn't have said sexual conquests in front of you
Brandon (as Milo): I was gonna ask, did you just say my dad was a conquest?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No, no, no, I shouldn't have said that. I said that because that was a funny thing for our podcast.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: Then Milo looks at the camera.
Amanda: OH NOOO.
Eric: Milo makes a Jim Face.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Milo I owe you answers. And I understand it's complicated because one of the first things you said to me was "I read all of your biographies, even the graphic novel." So I want to be straight with you as Cassandra the person and not Dr. Morrow the heroic, amazing life's changing scientists,
Brandon (as Milo): You forgot visionary.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Mmm. I think that would be a little goest to call myself a visionary, but thank you I appreciate it. True and I- listen, I'm joking, I talk too much when I'm nervous. Milo please ask me truly whatever questions you like.
Brandon (as Milo): Um, well one one question was what's why. Why, why not. Why do Dad and not tell? Um.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): You probably this conversation - honestly this situation I, I wasn't ready to be like "hey I know that you just signed on to my superhero initiative, but also I dated your dad on and off for years in the 80s and 90s." Like, I don't think that was a way to start a conversation. I wasn't- you know? But yes, that's what your father and I, we were. Oh, man, I was not paramour's, I guess, on and off for throughout for a little while there he is, smart and kind and. Very fun to play.
Brandon (as Milo): Don't get me wrong, I know why you dated my dad. He's a- he's a catch.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): He's a he's the best I would in the beginning, I wanted to be on stakeouts with him just because he was the best at it. But then it was like, "oh. Oh, no. Oops."
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, a couple more questions.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Sure. Sure.
Brandon (as Milo): One, have you, like, been following me since I was adopted or is this just a coincidence?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Uhh, I mean, this not to sound glib, but. In the way that being Facebook friends with someone who you dated at some point, you know their life and look at it when maybe it's one a.m. and you drank a bunch of G and T's, and sometimes you're like, what happened to that guy? So, yes, but in the regular way that we're all kind of following each other in the 21st century, to be to be honest, I, I think you understand.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I get it.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): So I guess the answer is yes. I did know of you for for a while. I knew that Hank had adopted, which I always thought I thought was wonderful. And I saw when he posted things and when - he posts quite a lot. So I do know and -
Brandon (as Milo): I talked to him about it, it's too much.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): But for someone who works in cyber crimes, to some extent, he sure does post a lot of photos on Facebook. On the Facebook.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah. He forgets to, like, wipe the location details as well. He's I look, I'm not his boss, but if I were, you know.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yeah. Good thing he's so good at what he does. No one will ever call him.
Brandon (as Milo): Yes. Yes. I'm speaking about what's the deal. Do you work for the government. Like what's or like I mean, I know you work for the government, but like well what's the what's the what's secret there? What's what's with all the secrecy and not telling me stuff?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Which government are you talking about. City, state, federal, galactic. I was joking that last one was a joke.
Brandon (as Milo): Well hey Dr. hold it, pause. Was it a joke, though?
Eric: Brandon make an insight roll.
Brandon: 8 +9 for 17.
Eric: Man Milo wants to believe really badly, doesn't he? No, Dr. Morrow is joking. She talks when she's nervous but
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): You know, even if we saw something that might be a UFO, would we even know what it was?
Brandon (as Milo): That's a good point, solid point. I love that chapter in your in your book.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Thank you.
Brandon (as Milo): If we looked in the sky and saw a UFO, would we know what it is, even?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It was a really important forward to add after 2005.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, I have two real questions to ask you, and then and then we can get out of this weird cage.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay, thank you. You know, a Faraday cage is in a real cage. It's a metaphorical cage.
Brandon: It's not a metaphor. It's a it's a literal like it does do things.
[Eric laughs]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Like I'm in a cage of my emotions. I guess it is a cage.
Amanda: It's a cage you can't see.
Eric: It has a cage when you think about it. Yes.
Amanda: If you think about a man, we can always see our cages, but they're there.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay. Are you ready for the hard questions?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh, um okay. [Inhales deeply] Yes, yes. Yeah, yes.
Brandon (as Milo): What else have you lied to me about, what aren't you telling us and do? Am I going to be able to trust you? That's all one question, by the way.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay, I want to answer the last part first. Yes, of course you can trust me. I can't tell you everything to make sure that you're good at doing your jobs. My job is to filter all of that stuff out and only tell you what you need to know, not in a keeping things from you way, but to not overburden you with the mundane terror of living in this year, I'm not keeping anything from you, are you talking about the Thornhill thing?
Brandon (as Milo): What Thornhill thing?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh, there is a while there where I was I wasn't mayor- I just stepped back from my mayoral duties kind of in the in the early in the late 2000s, just because I wanted to do something else. I didn't want to be mayor for a second. And I worked with them for a little while and they. You know, you can see if you see me going to a coffee shop they gave me, one of those key cards are a permanent and always has 15 dollars on it from Thornhill Coffee. Oh, and they always let me go in the bathroom whenever I want because I'm a gold platinum superstar bean-you-grind-user. I can't remember all of those in a row, but that's. Yeah, I decided some work from them. And if you found out about that, you know, at the time there was a lot of things that you sell out to companies, but I think feel like in the we've kind of changed and what it means to sell out, sometimes you got to do that grind, no pun intended for the coffee. Was that what you were talking about?
Brandon (as Milo): I was just asking generally, but that must be really cool that you have a card that I wish I had one of those.
Eric: Brandon do you want to do? Do you - are you satisfied with this answer or do you want to do an inside check? Like, is that a secret or is that like the secret, she says, to cover up the other secret.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: So I'll let you roll with disadvantage, with insight if you'd like, or you can just move on.
Brandon: I do want to roll.
Eric: Yeah, sure. I think that if you're trying to this is a real interesting roll because it's I don't know what I don't know. So I'm going to have to give you a disadvantage on this insight. But I think that if you get over a 15, I think that you can see whether or not this is like the secret that she does over the secret. But then again, you don't have to act on it. This can just be like, oh, I know. She's lying to me.
Brandon: Right. Okay, here we go.
Julia: I mean, that is a really interesting, like just small factoid that we would know whether or not she was mayor or not mayor for a period of time, and if she worked for Thornhill, I guess we would maybe know that.
Eric: I will say that is true. Maybe I'm retconning my own self. But like, maybe she did take a little bit away from public servant life to just like get a little bit of cash, like, entirely possible.
Amanda: In my mind, it's like, is she dangling a little appetizer secret and making us think it's the big meal?
Eric: Exactly.
Brandon: Well, unfortunately, we won't ever know because I got a 12 and a 2. So 2 +9 is 11.
Eric: Oh, but yeah, I think that yeah. You're relieved that you didn't have to press Dr. Morrow more and you take that secret.
Brandon (as Milo): Alright. I'm going to get out of your hair, but one last thing,
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Mhmm?
Brandon: Milo takes out of his phone, the regular one that is hackable,
Eric: Okay,
Brandon: And-
Amanda: Almost comes pre hacked even.
Brandon (as Milo): Look, I want to and I do trust you. I get why are you and my dad wouldn't want to share your your romantic life with their with his child. A little weird.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yeah, absolutely. But I do need you to be honest with me about this.
Brandon: And Milo shows her the photo of the coffin pod thing tech pod from the museum that he uncovered.
Brandon (as Milo): There was a dead guy in here and he said that he was working on something with you and he was he got killed in this. And that's I don't want that to happen to me or, you know, Aggie or Val.
Eric: Dr. Morrow takes your phone and holds her face very still for. Like a few moments. And then takes a big, deep breath in and says.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): When you're working on. Something dangerous like this. Have you ever seen the fly from within? Do you see the fly with the beautiful man from Jurassic Park?
Brandon (as Milo): Jeffrey Goldblum?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yeah, Jeff - Jeffrey Goldbloom. I intentionally ask them to make it like this so it might look a little less. Scary. When you mean dead guy. Was there a body in there or was what do you I'm talking to someone like you. What did you mean?
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, I mean, I met, you know, his eternal existence and ghost form and yeah, I don't think anyone else at that museum saw, but there definitely was a skeleton in there.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh, my God. I guess. I asked them to take care to take it away so fast, we I didn't know there was anything. His name was Nate Nemetz, he had been working for us for a few years in our research department. He loved Pokemon.
Brandon (as Milo): Who doesn't?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): He loved it so much I never understood it and I always thought it was interesting that he was working on while we were working on with Pokémon, I regret what happened to him every day and I'm glad you were able to talk to him one more time. If you're able to I don't I wish you could tell him I'm sorry.
Brandon (as Milo): He seemed okay, so if that, you know, calms you a little bit great, yeah, but did you tell OSHA or like anyone was there some contractual reason you didn't have to report it?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It no, it was it was reported. It was. In a way, when you're working on a secret clearance project, you tell the people you need to tell and. That's it's. He got - we were running a test and he got trapped inside in a way that I did not know whether or not would - it's what it's just what happened and -
Brandon (as Milo): Was this with the office, was this with another organization or was it just you?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I- um.
Eric: She's conflicted in what she wants to say to you, like the actual answer is too long and complicated to say so she says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It was it was all of our problems. It was all of our fault. It was an accident. People were. As we've said today, the Delta radiation might seem like a panacea for all of our problems of the involve working with the environment and energy, but it's still dangerous. It's still radiation. It was dangerous, but in a way that science is always dangerous and you take the precautions, he was stuck inside when we ran a test and. He he didn't come out. I do feel bad if you want me to, if that's what you want me to say, I of course I do.
Brandon (as Milo):: No you don't need to - listen you don't have to, like, confess to me.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I'm not I'm not I'm not confessing. It's it's something I think about every day.
Brandon (as Milo): I guess what I'm getting at is. Is my dad involved with that?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It's it's complicated. Possibly somehow I - if you're asking me whether about he knew what we were, that we were running dangerous experiments, the answer is yes. Did he sign off on them and tell me to go do them? No. We thought that by exposing. Things other than humans to Delta radiation, they could be better like we had started seeing with the folk of Laketon and although that seemed unsuccessful at the time and it was too dangerous, and after what happened to Nate, we stopped working on it. I'm sorry you saw this. I know you deserve an explanation, I-I have one that's that's it. And. It's. I haven't seen that in quite a long time, and sometimes I don't - it's. Science is all about moving forward. You take bad experiments and you take wrong hypotheses and you throw it out in favor of new ones. And I don't look backwards enough, I guess.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, I hear you, it must be difficult to to live with that. Maybe, yeah, maybe, maybe work on mice first, you know?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It's honestly. We were working on something smaller. But he got trapped and we stopped.
Brandon (as Milo): What? Do you want to expand upon that or.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh, you know. For a lab in Lake Town City. Might as well work on mountain lobsters.
[Amanda and Julia make air horn noises]
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, well. I would ask that in the future, you give us all the available information that you can and let us decide how we want to react to it.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I understand. Listen, I don't know what you know, and I have forgotten more than some people learn in a lifetime, so and I don't say that aggrandizing, I'm saying that it's the the way the world that I live in. So I'll tell you everything. But what we're all doing you. Me, you, Val, Aggie, Dez, January, your father, it's all dangerous, and I told you that from the beginning, but we do it because we want it to be better now so.
Brandon (as Milo): I agree. But don't put Dez in danger.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Sometimes it's not my choice.
Brandon: As Milo walks away, he takes out his phone and texts dad and says "we should have dinner again soon!" And then reaches in his pocket and hangs up the on hackable, untraceable, perfect flip phone.
Eric: Wonderful. Okay, let's go to Aggie. The cherry blossoms flutter across the screen as a Milo is standing in front of Dr. Morrow's house. What are you doing? Where are you going?
Amanda: I think Aggie trying as much as possible to stick to her routine, to go about her daily life, to check in on her neighbors, to do the thing that she was doing for years before this all became gestures to just everything became part of her life. But about day four, she woke up one morning, said fuck it, and then got on the high speed train to New York.
[Julia gasps]
Eric: I can only imagine Aggie loves trains.
Amanda: Aggie loves trains. She has not taken this one to New York very often. So she is kind of like looking around wide eyed with excitement, like nose pressed against the glass, and then she rubs it off with her sleeve so that no one has to clean it after her.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: I think that you're you're whizzing by. You are now past Albany. You are now in the Hudson Valley. You are like an hour outside maybe you pass Goldens Bridge where your lovely Dungeon Master grew up, his formative years. And you're going you're like forty five minutes outside of Grand Central and you get a text from Danny and Danny says,
Eric (as Danny): Oh, Guggenheim's so boring. Finally done. Where do you want to meet?
Amanda (as Aggie): Let's meet at that twenty four hour place down by the, the, the show with brooms.
Julia: Hm?
Eric (as Danny): What?
Amanda (as Aggie): The- the
Eric: Danny texts you "what??"
Amanda: Aggie did some Googling and then writes back Veselka by STOMP.
Eric (as Danny): Ohhhhh. You old.
Amanda (as Aggie): The ads are everywhere!
[Ambient street noise]
Eric: Wonderful. Alright. You are heading down. You are in Grand Central. Do you take the subway to Union Square. You are walking down to Veselka down Second Avenue. It is early spring in New York City. It's like a balmy 55. People are wearing just denim jackets out and boots. It is, I can say is like the weekend. So it's a little busy. But if you're there like two and three, it's like just the traffic of people going forward. And it is busier than Lake Town City in that way. Yeah, it's like it's so strange being in one city, another city. They do feel so different. You've done this a few times so you can see when things change in New York City. And off of like 12th Street and Second Avenue, which you're on the corner that you're passing as you're going down to Veselka, there's a new Italian place. It opened up and there is some street side dining. Make a perception check for me.
Amanda: Oh boy.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: A 21.
Eric: Great. With a twenty one. You see that someone got a like pasta dish with sausage and an early spring veggies and there may be some tubers in there. And you see that the waiter is leaning over the pasta and has something in his hand and he's going to grate it over the pasta.
Amanda: I grab it out of his hand.
Eric: You just reach over and grab it out of his hand?
Amanda: Yes!
Eric: Yeah, make a dexterity roll for me.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: A 17. Seventeen.
Eric: Okay, you're going to grab it. I'm going to roll at twenty right now and I'm going to roll on whether or not the thing you're grabbing is a truffle or a magic truffle.
Amanda: Do it, man. Alright, fuck me up!
Eric: High 50% magic truffle, low 50% not regular. Oh, my God. That's an 11.
Amanda: Yeaaaaah!!!
Eric: You grab it and you take it for this, like 23 year old guy who's working Saturday at 2:30. He's like,
Eric (as Waiter): Oh, excuse me, I need that.
Amanda (as Aggie): A pigeon pooped on it, you didn't see? Embarrassing.
Amanda: And then I keep walking.
Eric (as Waiter): Like, no ma'am, excuse me.
Amanda: I'm just going to attempt to like, disappear in the crowd.
Eric: Yeah. Make a stealth roll.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: A non-natural 20.
Eric: Oh, dirty 20. Okay with a 20, yeah-
Amanda: If only someone else could pick up these Chad dice from jointhepartypod.com/merch you too will roll well!
Eric: With a dirty twenty the waiter needs to go back into the restaurant and then come out the actual front door and no one is stopping him because it's a truffle.
Amanda: I like put my hair up and take my jacket off to look different. Jason Bourne style.
Eric: Yeah. And you disappear into the crowd. You take a look at it and this looks like the truffle that Dr. Morrow had. It's a little bit smaller. It's obviously been shaved. So maybe there's like half here. But now inside you see that the it is this like deep, deep midnight blue with like maybe a little like like stars in the sky, almost.
Amanda: Aggie stares of the truffle in her hand and then closes her hand around it. Looks around for sort of somewhere to put it like this is not something you just put in your. It like, would you like you to put like a diamond or a radioactive thing in your pocket? So she looks around and seeing someone taking their dog out walks over and is like,
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, hey, can I umm.
Amanda: Just and then, like, gestures to the bags.
Eric (as Pedestrian): Yeah, sure. Do you want one of my dog poop bags?
Amanda: Aggie opens her hand slightly to make it look like your hand is full of poop.
Eric (as Pedestrian): Oh, my God. [garbled disgust noises] Oh, that is so gross. I hate to say this on the floor, and I hate it in your hand.
Eric: they give you a back yeah.
Julia: Oh New York.
Amanda: So I guess puts the truffle in the bag, puts that in her in her inner jacket pocket, zips the pocket up.
Eric: Around you, you hear like people talking like
Eric (as Pedestrian 1): Hey did some woman just steal a truffle from an Italian restaurant?
[Brandon laughing]
Eric (as Pedestrian 2): Only in New York, baybeee!
Amanda: Aggie makes sure her hair is different, keeps the jacket off and keeps walking.
Eric: I think that you can power walk down to the Viselka and Danny is sitting in one of the tables in the back there. It is definitely busy. As for Viselka is always busy. But is this like bustling Ukrainian diner, you can get anything from both Eastern Europe and traditional American fare there. It is delicious. You got to get these stuffed cabbage. I missed it so, so much. Oh, sorry, Danny is not sitting because you need your whole party because this is how much I forgot about restaurants.
Amanda: There with, like, disapproving Ukrainian ladies staring at him like where is the rest of you your party?
Eric (as Danny): Like my party. She's coming right now. She's coming right now.
Eric (as Waiter): [In a Slavic accent] You need the entire party, I'm sorry.
Eric (as Danny): She's going to be here in like five seconds, I'm telling you.
Amanda: I, like, cross the front of the restaurant in like two leaps like,
Amanda (as Aggie): Danny. Be nice, please. Hi. Thank you very much, we're ready.
Eric (as Waiter): Yes here, there we go.
Eric: And you're led to a table in the back, which is like very much wedged right into the back. And you have like two inches of space and the waitress slides two menus to you and says
Eric (as Waiter): We have Borst, but you knew that.
Eric: And she goes back.
Amanda: I look up and I look at Danny. How does he seem?
Eric: Danny seems good if he's in New York, he's doing business things. So he obviously came from the Guggenheim, as he said,
Eric (as Danny): Ugh, the Guggenheim, it's so spirally. Why don't they get stairs?
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Wow. He's like cold.
Eric: So he's dressed very sharp. This is like his artist outfit, like very expensive black jeans and like a leather jacket and a nice button up underneath. No tie, open collar. He's both casual, but he's also like I I'm a professional.
Amanda: He's like in a professional setting. But it's a power move to not have a tie.
Eric: Yeah, exactly. I'm like as soon as he comes over, he's like,
Eric (as Danny): Oh my God, I can't believe my shirt still tucked in.
Eric: And he like pulls it out and before he sits down.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. Thank you for it for coming to see me. How's, how's business stuff. It's, it's like a silly business annoying trip. Or do you get to do some interesting things?
[Ambient restaurant noises]
Eric (as Danny): Oh you know, always silly business, annoying trip. But you know, I got to bring back I'm really looking for new-
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry I, I can't sit here and listen. I'm sorry.
Eric (as Danny): Oh okay. I was going to say some charming things about tourism, things I was going to do but alright, okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): You have waived the right to small talk when you sold the painting to the mob. So how, uh, where did you think that painting was going huh bud?
Eric (as Danny): Alright. Yeah, let's just say that out loud, okay?
Amanda (as Aggie): I am not going to enjoy my borscht with just this atmosphere of secrets and tension so.
Eric (as Danny): Okay, um
Amanda: My reasoning and phrasing it that way is I want to know if there's more than one. I want to know if he knows I'm talking about.
Eric: Make an insight check.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Oh what's that. What's that. Nice drawing on this. Join the Party Pod branded die. Is it our logo for a nat 20? It is.
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: I think you say that and Danny is flummoxed and he's like
Eric (as Danny): Uh, uh, uh okay.
Eric: And then he takes like a big breath and then he just like starts crying.
Brandon: Oh no.
Eric: Tears. And he's like,
Eric (as Danny): I don't know, I hit you. I just can't deal with this. It's I didn't know about the time. I just thought it was like a bunch of Italian people like what it's like they do it and I don't like it when [sniffles] the - first - when - you - just yell at me, it's not.
Eric: And there's like a crash of like someone dropping a bunch of soup over there and like people eating like
Eric (as Danny): [Hyperventilating] I don't like it when you get used to tell me and you're so mad at me and I don't like it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay.
Amanda: I put my hand on Danny's hand and I look in his eyes. I'm like
Amanda (as Aggie): deep breath and deep breath out, which we have done before.
[Eric shakingly breathing in and out]
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, deeper and deeper and deeper.
Eric (as Danny): I don't like when you yell at me.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, you're grown man and a father.
Eric (as Danny): I understand that it's fine for me to cry when things that are triggering happen to me fucked.
Amanda (as Aggie): In and out, Danny in and out.
Eric: The waitress brings over to borsht and which you didn't even order Danny just like drinks one fully.
Amanda: I slide my second one to him.
Eric: So he's trying to eat borsht also of the tears are going to get is very cropped beard now.
Julia: Have we all been there at Visalkas at two a.m. crying into our borsht haven't we all?
Eric: It doesn't matter what two it could be two a.m. or two p.m. but you will be crying. Yeah, and he's just like he's he didn't like that. His big sister just, just yelled at him and you cracked him. Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): So why don't you tell me from the beginning how this happened and we'll make sure that nothing like this happens or happened again.
Eric: Okay, when you're with your your nat 20 insight, I'm going to say this like as your dm notes, because Danny is currently crying and also eating borscht at the same time.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Danny explains a lot of things. He says that it's not by commission Danny doesn't necessarily control when he paints and requires like intense focus. Here's the comp that I was thinking of Eric of the DM. You know, in Heroes there is the person who painted the future and like you just happened to them. And like, it's not that kind of like, oh, he's going to foretell the it's not that like he goes black behind the eyes, but like in the way that art, although it is a participatory thing where it's like, you know, it's a muscle, I need to practice with it. To him a divine Inspiration really does touch him. And it is very complicated, which is why he was on a roof when you called him the first time and he was like, I'm fucked. That's why that's why he was mad at you when he was on the phone.
Amanda: He was in the middle of like a visit from his muse.
Eric: Right and then he had to scrap the whole thing. He doesn't do things a commission. He just kind of did it. But it is put up that people if it doesn't go in a gallery like people have to buy paintings. That's how jobs work. And like although he has all these fellowships, he does need to sell paintings in order for him to do his job. So he's like, oh, does hey, this was about Lake Town City. And like Italian, there was Italian groceries and stuff like who would like this? And he has like a broker who sells paintings from the people who he thinks might actually do it. So he didn't know about it, but then he found out that that's what happened and he felt so bad. He's like,
Eric (as Danny): how am I supposed to tell my kids that the mob bought one of my paintings? Cause if someone found out - what if someone found out, if they wrote it up? Like that would be so bad for everyone, so bad.
Amanda (as Aggie): They're still learning their colors. So I think you do have some time on that one.
Eric (as Danny): Oh they so many things. They're so smart.
Amanda (as Aggie): I have no doubt. Are they -
Eric (as Danny): No. Aggie.
Eric: And he grabs your hand and looks at you and says,
Eric (as Danny): No, they're so smart.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh no. Again?
Eric (as Danny): Even more so.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uhhhh. I know I've never really talked about this Danny and I kind of made some assumptions based on where she grew up. But what what's Monique? Her situation?
Eric (as Danny): Oh, no, she's from Chicago, so.
Amanda (as Aggie): No? They don't diaphorum?
Eric (as Danny): You know.
Amanda (as Aggie): Interesting.
Eric (as Danny): But here's the thing.
Eric: And Danny, like, really screws up his courage there for the second he says,
Eric (as Danny): um, so, you know, what would you say my power is?
Amanda (as Aggie): Is this a trick question?
Eric (as Danny): No, it's not, and-
Amanda (as Aggie): You're gonna start with the hiccups and the borsht, it's just you have a white shirt on and on, a little bit nervous.
Eric: Yeah, it's all splattered with borsht. This is one of that 20 inside. Does it ruins you.
Eric (as Danny): No, I'm serious. What would you think-what do you think my power is?
Amanda: Okay I would probably summarize it as emotional influence through your painting.
Eric (as Danny): Right. So that's true. But it's more like.
[Beat of silence]
Eric (as Danny): I paint the future.
Brandon: What.
Amanda (as Aggie): What?!
Eric (as Danny): So the thing about the future is it has it's like a whirlpool as much as you try to paddle against the whirlpool, eventually it will suck you in. So there is an inevitability to the future. It's what is actually what will or could or might happen. And that inevitability, whether it is going to happen or not, this is like a snapshot of the future. I cannot say whether or not it will. It does happen explicitly like that. And like this isn't a Dorian Gray situation where it changes, but like. Uhh yeah, yeah. So like you remember that painting that a painting of Central Park and the winter with the people, the people there, and they were like that couple that got engaged in the back, but they just seemed like two figures. Yeah. That couple got engaged like six, six months later I met them they're so they're so nice. They have three dogs.
Amanda (as Aggie): Who who held the dogs when they when he proposed.
Eric (as Danny): Oh the dogs weren't there yet. They happened eventually. The dogs were not in the painting. Are you going to get like this is I, I don't Edward-I don't Edward Hopper intentionally. It's just I guess it's the sketches of the the the the shades of the of what is in to come and who they are.
Amanda (as Aggie): Well that is why I mean I didn't want to think that you willingly did work for the mob, but seeing Little Italy so-
[Eric slurping]
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, that's not what the white bread is for Daniel. Please, you have a napkin.
Eric (as Danny): I know it was. Oh, no one has bought it has borscht on it, though. I'm so vulnerable.
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): No, I, I. Much of me wants to razz you, some of me is still mad, but I am mostly right now relieved that you didn't do this knowingly for the mob-
Eric (as Danny): NO!
Amanda (as Aggie): Knowing of seeing Little Italy refurbished and all like evolves like that. How why and how would you possibly paint that? Except that I guess that's why.
Eric (as Danny): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, here's what we're going to do. I need the name of your broker.
Eric (as Danny): Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): I need you to tell them to cooperate with me.
Eric (as Danny): Okay?
Amanda (as Aggie): And that I'm your big sister and they need to do anything they can to keep me happy.
Eric (as Danny): [Getting nervous] Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): I think you can really just channel this feeling into your performance and say, "I'm scared. My big sister needs to talk to you."
Eric (as Danny): No, don't- stop. No, stop. Okay, don't you - don't I get it, Monique's gonna be so mad at me.
Amanda (as Aggie): For telling me? Or because - you haven't told her?!
Eric (as Danny): Oh. No one can no one can know - it's so bad.
Amanda (as Aggie): Have you told anybody?
Eric (as Danny): No!! I am not. I'm not any of our siblings! You don't have to tell me that!
Amanda (as Aggie): Daniel. It is-it's sometimes hard to remember that.
Eric (as Danny): Margaret. Shut up. We are going to continue not talking about this, I want to do some research on the ground and if you see any very charismatic Italians in your presence, not like on television.
Eric: Oh, you mean Val?
Julia (as Val): Right here.
Eric: Val's right there.
Amanda (as Aggie): Or you paint anything near or of Lake Town City. I need to know about it.
Eric (as Danny): Yeah, absolutely.
Amanda (as Aggie): And don't let anybody give you truffles, man, don't don't fuck with those things. Not even - no.
Eric (as Danny): What.
Amanda (as Aggie): If you see a mushroom that's purple and shiny, don't fuck with it, okay? Don't let your kids fuck with it. Do they eat mushrooms? Is that on the list of foods that kids can eat now?
Eric (as Danny): There's no wildlife in Chicago.
Amanda (as Aggie): No but like dried or or baby food, ground up power smoothies, some stuff like that?
Eric (as Danny): No. Is this what is this like a new is this like a new foodie kick? Have you been listening to podcasts again?
Amanda (as Aggie): I sure hope it doesn't become a trend. I am working really hard to make sure it doesn't. I am helping Lake Town City stay safe and I learned about stuff that could be a threat to people. So I'm just giving you the tip. Didn't think my niece and nephew could get cuter or more terrifying, and yet they have and I'm going to talk to your broker next and try to figure out, I don't know how to stop this from happening again.
Eric (as Danny): Yeah, for sure. I need, like, a bunch of meat right now.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes.
Amanda: And then we signal for, like, a double 12th plate of pierogi.
Eric (as Danny): Two meat plates, deluxe meat plates, double sausage, please.
Julia: Mmmm!
Eric: And yeah, you guys tuck into your big meat plate and Danny is very nice. He's being very nice to you for the rest of the day. And then you see the cherry blossoms which don't fall in New York City fall.
[Transition note]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda, this lovely Midroll break is brought to you by the mug of very strong tea that I am drinking at the moment, but more importantly, by electric kettles and folks live outside the U.S., you may be surprised to learn that in America we don't really have electric kettles. Americans, you may not know that electric kettles are amazing. They boil water so fast. It is good for when you want to make pasta and give the water a jumpstart or when you want to make tea and have your water at the right temperature and not like slop it out of a hot kettle from the stove. They're so good. I'm so glad they're in my life. And every time I use it, I'm like, oh man, what a good appliance. So that is the energy that I want you to start this midroll with, welcome.
First and foremost, thank you and welcome to several beautiful people who joined our Patreon in the last two weeks: Maurice, Ana, Michelle, Monica, Not brano delta, Inara, Trey, Amy, Bond James, Jemma, Tereza, Charlotte, Scott, and Jodi. And thank you so much to Paul, Michelle, and Laura, who upped their pledges! We're so grateful to each of you who make it a priority every month to support creators that you like, not just us, but whoever you support. We couldn't keep making the show without your support on Patreon. So thank you. Thank you. If you would like to join our Ryan family and check out bonus content like NBC playlists, which Eric has started making, I'm very excited to see January's. I cannot wait. You can get things like that. You get our discord, NPC stories, and ALL THE STUFF THAT’S BEEN THERE FOR FOUR YEARS OF PATREON. So if you’re able, please do join us for as little as $5 at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.
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[Transition note]
Eric: Let's check out our good friend, Val.
Julia: Eric, I had an idea, how do you feel about a Little Italy festival, kind of similar to the Saint Gennaro Festival, but the Lake Town City version.
Eric: Oh! The San Gennaro Feast!
[People chattering]
Julia: You know the San Gennaro Feast though, is in September, but in Lake Town City, I think they celebrate the Feast of San Marco.
Eric: Oh, what's that about?
Julia: So it's just like a like kind of weird Thanksgiving thing in Sardinia. It's particularly celebrated as like a Thanksgiving thing. All the shepherds, like, have a lamb to like to welcome in the season. And in Venice, it is a celebration where if you're like into someone or you're in love with someone, you give them a single red rosebud.
Eric: Adorable.
Julia: But I imagine it's just like big festival energy, much like the feast to San Gennaro.
Eric: Yeah, no, I love it. I think that Hitomi got you like a bunch of roses and also like a lamb burger. It's like,
Eric (as Hitomi): I don't know? What? Is this it?
Julia (as Val): It's sweet. I love this so much. Thank you.
Eric: Yeah. I love this. I think it's that night. This is real street fair energy. There's like booths and ten blocks in a row are blocked off and there's like carnival games and like you can buy arancini and sausage like you like in find places every few blocks. Also all the restaurants have their doors open. There are people milling about. There's like cotton candy and stuff. There's kids running around and people trying to keep up. It's like super packed. I think this is also a way just to reinvigorate the area because people are out spending money on food and stuff.
Julia: Yeah, exactly.
Eric: So you might walk by Dom's and they have just a bunch of jamokes who are working there, like making slice of pizza and they're messing it up. So we talked about something that that Val was very interested in doing. Tell me about it.
Julia: So I think Val ever since all of the Aunt Min stuff, the threatening of my mother and all of that has been very mad. Just just very, very mad.
Brandon: Why would that be? I don't understand.
Amanda: That's the secret Val's always mad.
Julia: Val is always mad and there's always that, like, low level of rage kind of simmering under the surface. But lately it's been like much closer to the surface, I feel like and Val pissed at the mob, Val's pissed that their neighborhood is being impacted by the mob. And Val is pissed that people think that the mob is the only thing that they can go to in order to feel protected and safe.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: So my plan was as like the festival is at its peak, belike,
Julia (as Val): Oh, Hitomi, go grab us a table at that other of the El Popo and I'll be right back. I want to pick up something for my mom for later.
Julia: And then Superman changed to the Vulcani gear.
Eric: I love that!
Amanda: All of the porta potties in Lake Town City, by the way, all gender.
Eric: And they're all not bad. They all smell fine.
Amanda: They're clean!
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: They clean them out once a day.
Julia: They don't smell like anything. And that's the best part.
Eric: It's called a MorrowJohn.
Julia: Great.
Amanda: No smell, no gender. Come as you are.
Eric: Yeah. Okay, so now Vulcani is out and I think that Vulcani as because you have the highest fame out of the three of y'all. So I think that you're like vaguely recognized, especially on your turf and in Little Italy. I think if people are posing for pictures with you, they're super happy to see you out there. It's a real, like Daredevil situation that you're just like the hero of Little Italy, which is a very funny thing to say out loud. And I think that you're maybe you're walking around and you see that there is a commotion happening like a block down.
Julia: They're already there.
Eric: I think that you see as you go up and it's like a booth outside of a different Italian restaurant, it's like a bakery. And they're also doing like cannoli and Italian bakery, but they're also doing some arancini as well. And you see that there is a guy standing there who like seven feet tall and two feet wide, a little hunched over and has a very wide stance. And he is eating arancini with one hand into his mouth and the other hand to his mouth. You look and you see he has like gray skin. And from the back you see that there are two horns that come up off of his forehead that's like over his is like buzz sides, long hair, back haircut. And he's yelling, he's like,
Eric (as Man): This is the worst arancini I've ever had. But why are you even doing this? Where do you get even fry anything?! Stick to cannoli! I deserve free things for it!
Eric: And he's like banging on it enough that, like, the whole booth shakes and just like still grabbing more arancini that's in front of him and stuffing more into his mouth.
Julia (as Val): First of all, they got a fry, the cannoli shells anyway, so they know how to fry things, second of all, did you pay for those?
Eric: He turns around and you see that he has this like very wide face, a wide nose. And these are horns are pretty pointy and pretty large, and they're coming right literally like up off of his head and he's like,
Eric (as Man): Oh, whoa oh oh, just someone who wants to have a good time, and eat some rice balls and now it's fucking Vulcani making everyone's time worse. Of course.
Julia (as Val): You can have a good time so long as you pay for it and don't cause a disruption.
Eric (as Man): Oh, I could cause a disruption here. This is a feast and I'm going to be feasting.
Eric: And he turns back around and starts eating more, reaching over the side and just pulling in more cannoli and arancini stuffing his face.
Julia: I think Val is just on this dude's back. Try to put him in a hammerlock like you don't turn your back on me!
Eric: Yeah. He turns around and pushes you back in the back.
Eric (as Man): Alright. If that's what we're going to do, what do you want to ask my name first?
[Upbeat techno music fades in]
Julia (as Val): I don't care about your name. It doesn't matter what your name is.
Eric (as Man): Well, I'll tell you anyway. And Steven, but, you know, all of my girlfriends call me bullshit.
Eric: And he charges that you.
Julia: He should. Go for it.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Wow!
Eric: Hey, hey, Julia. Let's have a goddamn superhero fight. Hell, yeah. The way that we're going to do it is going to be the same thing that we did with Milo and Cottonmouth. This match is going to be five rounds. We're going to choose the either athletics acrobatics or you can cast a spell and add to your spell save. We're going to roll each other and see who wins. And if you crit or you win by five points or more. We'll see if there's a knock out there. So how do you want to tackle. Let's do round one, baby.
Julia: I'll take my bonus action and go into a rage, if you don't mind.
Eric: Of course. Of course.
Julia: Cool, cool, cool. And then we're going to we're going to do some athletic stuff.
Eric: Alright. Yeah, we're going to do athletics, too. This is going to be a straight up fight. Also, when I thought of the name Bullshit, I giggled to myself.
Brandon: It's really good.
Amanda: Funny.
Eric: Thank you.
Julia: So I get advantage on those.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Hooo 18 on the first roll.
Eric: Oh, baby!
Julia: 3 on the second. Okay, so it's 18 plus my strength modifier which is 8 so 26.
Eric: 26 is good. I did crit.
Julia: FUCK.
Eric: So, so I do take that one but I'm since you roll to 26 I cannot beat the DC. So I think that you try to put them in a headlock and then Bullshit just like leans down and gets you with the horns and like that hurts and immediately shoves you off and be like
Eric (as Bullshit): Oh I'm so glad that I have these things. And it's not just going to be a straight thing, it's kind of like a stabbing situation as well. I gored ya!
Eric: Let's go again, round two.
Julia: Okay, I rolled a 7 and another 18.
Eric: Wonderful. So that's 26. I rolled a natural 1.
Julia: Oh hell yeah. Apparently my dice does not like it when I go above two rounds of this.
Julia: Feisty dice.
Eric: So I crit fail. So now I'm going to say that the DC is 15. I'm going to roll a con roll here for my con roll. I'm using minotaur stats because of course I am.
Julia: And I need to roll a 12 or higher.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: Yeah, I rolled a 9.
Julia: So I get gored. He charges into me and I think Val kind of like, like takes that hit but then puts their arm around his neck and just kind of like falls backwards into a DVT. Like slams his head into the concrete.
Eric: Absolutely. So here's the thing Val because the thing is about Val is that you are both as dexterous as you are athletic. So it's like you're a Lucha Libre wrestler, like you twirl around them and pull them back into the DDT and you have them like backwords now and like imagine like a reverse headlock and you drop them down onto the booth. But as you do that and his head connects with the booth like something sparks and it's like and even looks like pyrotechnic in a way, something sparks and like flames go up around this guy and your arm and you as you lower him onto this booth and it just shatters. But also, like some things lightly go up in flames. Like there's there's flares going up around you. And you look down and you see that like your hands are on fire. This isn't from your gloves aren't happening right now. It's your hands. And you look down your feet are on fire as well. And if people are looking around you, they see that like your whole jacket is also up in flames. What do you say as this flaming hero takes down this literal piece of Bullshit?
Julia: I think Val just kind of looks down at themselves and then like exhales because it like feels like that rage that's been boiling underneath their skin for however many weeks now is like finally getting let loose. And they go just, you know, no. Microphone, just yell and like,
[Music fades out]
Julia (as Val): Listen up, Little Italy has been going for too long down the wrong path. We got people over by the docks trying to gentrify us. We got the mob trying to lean its weight on these restaurants here who are mom and pop stores, who have been here for generations and that ain't right. So I make a promise to you and to everyone else here in Little Italy. I got you back. You need something? Vulcani's got you. You don't need the mob. You don't need guys like this, you got me.
[Crowd noises]
Eric: I think that there's a moment of silence and you see that a door opens behind you and you realize you're standing only a few doors down from in front of El Pulpo. And the woman who runs the thing is holding her Tommy gun in front of her. And she says.
Eric (as Woman): Yeah, we don't need any of these things Vulcani is going to take care of us!
Eric: And she throws the gun on the flaming rubble of the booth from before. And then there's just a cheer as people around to start of cheer and a few other people, like throw some more cartoony guns on top of the flames. And everyone at this festival does cheer and hold you up. And they're like,
Eric (as Crowd): Oh, fuck, Vulcani, you can do all this shit! Let's go!
Eric: And running up on the outskirts of the crowd, you see Hitomi is looking out and is like holding a fried dough as is like
Eric (as Hitomi): Nice!
Eric: And just eats her fried dough.
Amanda: I love Hitomi.
Julia: Also Val gets let down by the crowd and like pulls out their wallet and just heads a couple hundred dollars to the people who's booth they ruined. And they're like,
Julia (as Val): I'm so sorry, I'll come clean it up tomorrow.
Eric: They're like,
Eric (as Booth Worker): Thank you. Thank you. You know, we have a festival, we have a festival insurance. So it's fine, it's alright.
Julia (as Val): I know. I know. But like, you know, until that kicks in, you might as well be able to, like, put your stall back up tomorrow.
Eric (as Booth Worker): Oh, I appreciate. Yeah. Yeah, cannolis whenever you want!
Julia (as Val): Thank you.
Eric: Alright. And that immediately transitions [singing] Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. The petals falling and we're doing the leveling up. And hey, Vulcani is taking a level of something else.
[Everyone cheers]
Julia: I took a level in Phenix Sorcerer!
Brandon: What?! That's a thing?!
Julia: That is a thing it is unearthed arcana. I get some real cool stuff, including ignite, which gives me the ability to start fires with the touch-
Brandon: Dope.
Julia: And something that I'm really excited for called Mantle of Flame, which is at the first level you can unleash the Phoenix Fire that blazes within you as a bonus action. You magically wreath yourself in a swirling fire as your eyes glow like hot coals for one minute, you gain the following benefits. You shed bright light in a 30 foot radius and dim light in an additional 30 feet. And any creature takes fire damage equal to your charisma modifier if it hits you with a melee attack within 5 feet of you or touches you. And whenever you roll fire damage on your turn, the roll gains a bonus to equal to your charisma modifier.
Amanda: Damn.
Brandon: Woof.
Eric: So I'm going to be extra hard on Julia about her action economy, but these things do stack and it's going to be pretty fun. Also, you have some fun first level sorcerer spells as well. Like I'm letting Julia have jump, but she can only cast herself. Sure. So like if she gets supercharged, like with flame. So we got a 8 barbarian, 1 sorcerer.
Julia: Yeah, my trips are light firebolt and true strike and then my first little spells are burning hands, jump on self magic missile and shield.
Eric: Yes.
Brandon: I like jump on self. I know it's just jump but [laughing]
Julia: Jump, on self, jump jump on self!
Amanda: Great choice.
Eric: Wonderful. Yeah. What, what's up with Milo and Aggie at level 9.
Amanda: Well I can walk on water now. Is that the kind of thing that you wanted to know?
Brandon: You're Jesus!
Amanda: I have unarmored movement, which means I can move along both vertical surfaces and liquids on my Tegan without falling during my move.
Julia: That is very cooooool! Amanda's Jesus now!
Amanda: I didn't ask for the throne. Sometimes it just comes to you.
Eric: Hilarious.
Amanda: And I have more ki points as well. So up to 9. They're equal to my level.
Brandon: Nice! For Milo, he got the HP increase. I have got my proficiency bonus up. So now I have a +4 and my spell saved is 17and my spell attack is +9, which is very cool.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: But most importantly, I got one 5th level spell slot and-
Eric: Oh god.
Brandon: These spells are wild.
Eric: So scary.
Julia: Give us a little sample, give us a taste.
Brandon: Well, two of the ones that I got for my class specific ones are called cloud kill and contagion. Cloud kill is like poisonous fog that I can make around any corner or any area. But contagion is cool. I just touch someone or a creature and then you're poisoned and you can have things like blinding sickness or filth fever or flesh rot or Mind Fire or slimy doom.
Julia: It's cool because these are all bands that used to play at the Sweet Tooth.
Brandon: Exactly.
Amanda: So sad. So sad.
Eric: I was actually in the Bind Fire. I played six string bass. That's a joke for Brandon.
Brandon: It was good, I liked it. And there are some other really cool ones, but I'll say most of them for in the game. But like one of them is I don't know, called awaken
Julia: Oh oh oh oh!
Amanda: Ahhh!
Eric: Brandon send them to me so that I can know what you want to do.
Brandon: No, never.
Eric: Ahh it's gonna be a surprise! Alright. Well so you notice that they only live once because we're going from early spring to late spring. We're not doing as much of a time jump. So we're going to end up in May, but I did want to do one little thing. Hey, folks, let's do a little entanglement. This one's going to be for all three of you. We're going to run this like a skill challenge this time. But since this is in fact, an entanglement, I need all three of you to roll one d6 for our entanglements table.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: 4.
Julia: I also got a 4.
Amanda: I got the "Oh No" Chad face, which means it's a 1.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Okay. So you have two 4's and a 1, what order would you like that?
Brandon: 4-1-4!
Julia: Okay! 4-1-4 feels right!
Amanda: 414. Sounds like an area code from which I would get spam calls.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Wonderful. Alright. You get a call from Dr. Morrow obviously on your MorrowTech phones. This is late April. It's starting to get a little sticky, but it's still like we're in upstate New York. It's like in the 60's. It's so nice outside to go for a walk or a picnic. But you should probably bring your sweatshirt just in case. And Dr. Morrow says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): LT3! Trouble the train station!
[Eric mimics the Batman cutscene tune]
Eric: Alright, you guys roll up to the train station. You see that like the Acela train and the bullet train and the metro north are all kind of streaming past and you're not really sure what's happening until you see, there's one train that looks like an old timey train, like the steam and with the big top hat and with a little chuga, chuga, chuga, chuga, chugas. And you see that there is a commotion happening over there because there are ten terracotta soldiers being led-
Julia: UGGGGGH. I was going to get on you about the top hat on the train, but nope, we got to think about this now.
Eric: With ten terracotta soldiers. As you hear
Eric (as the Emperor): [In a higher pitched nasally voice] My soldiers, go! We need what's inside!
Eric: As he turns around and you see now he has like a dragon helmet, and like a really big what you would think to be a king's cape. But it has like other dragons and other just like random Asian characters on it.
[Julia groans]
Eric: And it's silk is you see that the emperor holding a very large book with some glowing text, is directing the terracotta soldiers into the old timey train.
Julia: This guy's the worst.
Amanda (as Aggie): Just stop it with your whole thing.
Eric (as the Emperor): What? Oh, no, it's Lake Town City's Greatest Fighters, the LT3! No matter, I'll take care of them.
Eric: He flips through his book for a second and you see him reach into it like there's a secret panel in it. And he pulls out like like a device that just has a button on it. Then ten more soldiers appear, but they show up in pixels as they finally are rendered in and they're pixilated and they're in 64 bit. And then they are once again, like some glossy PlayStation five, also terracotta soldiers. So we're going to run this like a skill challenge where I need all of you to just do something. And we're depending on what the roll is. I'm going to keep track of how many successes or failures you do, and then you're eventually going to get some sort of score at the end, which will dictate how well or not well, you did against the Resplendent Emperor as he is now. We're going to do three rounds. Everyone is going to go once every single round.
[Suspenseful action music fades in]
Amanda: I would like to run up the wall,
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Across the wall and then down to be in front of wherever the soldiers are marching to.
Eric: Yeah, they're trying to storm the train. So, like there there's only a few small doors to get in front of it. So you're just like trying to get in front of them.
Amanda: Yeah. And I want to use my baton to like smack the head off of the first one and just like smack the heads like a baseball player until they stop.
Eric: Alright. Do an attack roll. I'm going to say to their AC is a little juicy. So because they've gotten better since you last fought them. I'm looking for a 16.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 14 +7 for a 21.
Eric: Yeah. You smack the head off of one. That's one success baybee! Alright. He's like,
Eric (as the Emperor): NO! I hate it when heroes get in the way. This is just like what happened when I wanted tenure.
[Julia laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Stop appropriating cultures my man!
Eric (as the Emperor): But I know so much about China and also generally Asia.
Eric: One success!
Julia: I'll go into a rage and punch some terracotta soldiers. That sounds fun.
Eric: Yeah. Do a punch!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Well, not great. It's 11 +8 19.
Eric: Let's get another success. How do you mess them up?
Julia: Oh just I think that Val you know goes into a rage. Full vibrating just kind of like pings into them like a ping pong ball against bumpers just going like boom boom boom boom boom.
Eric: I love that. That's incredible.
Brandon: Well I'm going to cast a new spell I have it's a level 5 spell that's called Geas. I just get to issue a command on the creature that I choose and they have to do it for thirty days.
[Eric laughing]
Amanda: Oh my!
Brandon: You do have to make a wisdom saving throw.
Eric: Okay, what's my wisdom saving throw?
Brandon: You got to hit a 17.
Eric: Okay, wonderful. Here's the thing about being a professor is that you're quite wise even if you don't have any charisma. I'm gonna roll +7. I rolled a 16 +7.
Julia: Oh, yeah, that'll do it.
Eric: So 23 with your new hand, you try to shoot out like some ghost energy around. I assume the Emperor?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Around the emperor's head. He's like,
Eric (as the Emperor): I planned for this!
Eric: The dragon helmet closes so you can't get in. He's like,
Eric (as the Emperor): I knew you were going to do that! You're going for my brain. My brain is my best part!
Eric: Alright. So that is one failure.
Julia: Do you know what's absolutely wild? If you cast that spell at level 7 or 8th level? It lasts a year. A full year.
Eric: I hate that. Alright. Wonderful. So who wants to roll a d6 for me?
Julia: Oop. I rolled a 4. I'm realling rolling 4's is on the 6 today.
Eric: Why don't you roll one more time.
Julia: Okay,
[Dice clacking]
Julia: 3!
Eric: 3. Okay, as the terracotta soldiers and the fake terracotta soldiers are pushing up against Preserver to try to get in the train, the Emperor pulls back and says,
Eric (as the Emperor): You fools, I knew you would come for the train immediately. That's why I thought ahead. And there's a bomb somewhere else in the city. You have to do something else. I know I've looked into the studies! You can't multitask. It's not possible.
[Brandon laughing]
Julia: Can I roll an insight check on that?
Eric: Yeah. All of you. All of you roll an insight check!
Julia: Great.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: 18.
Julia: We rolled a lot of 18's today. I got 18 +4, 22.
Brandon: I got 17 +9 for 26.
Eric: Wonderful. I also rolled to contest
[Julia gasps]
Eric: And I rolled a nat 1 and Chad is looking at me saying oh no.
Amanda: He just makes crit fails so much more pleasant.
Eric: It definitely does. I rolled two nat 1's during session.
Julia: You did roll a nat 20, too though so that's just feisty dice.
Eric: Absolutely. I love a feisty dice. So as this in between complication you realize that he's lying and there isn't actually a bomb and because he's like sweating and he's like looking around like trying to get confirmation from the other terracotta soldier and be like
Eric (as Terracotta Solider): Hey yeah. You tell them! There's a bomb, right?
Amanda: Like a bus is going by with the word like "this is a bomb movie" on it.
[Eric and Brandon laughing]
Eric: Yeah. Like, yeah, a train goes by with a billboard on it. Be like "this summer the bomb is coming to Lake Town City!"
Brandon: And all three of us look at each other.
Eric: And I will give you another success. Bang, bang. Let's see what happens. So the terracotta soldiers that are now encircling you and they're moving away from the train itself to fight you instead of figuring out what's inside of the train, what do y'all do?
Brandon: I assume Eric that they're all sort of in one area, right?
Eric: Yeah, they're all around you and like the circle.
Brandon: Okay, I'm going to cast confusion on the group of them.
Julia: I am in the middle of that circle.
Brandon: I'll cast it just so that all of us are outside of the ten foot radius sphere.
Julia: Great.
Eric: So, yeah, you can definitely confuse a few of them. So since they're constructs, and this is kind of like a charming thing, I'm going to say that they're going to roll for the save with advantage. What do I need to beat?
Brandon: You need to beat a 17.
Eric: Okay. They are not that wise. I'm going to give them +1. No, that's a 4.
Brandon: Yes!
Eric: 17 you say?
Brandon: Yeah!
Eric: I got it, my man.
Julia: Oh boo.
[Brandon groans]
Brandon: COME ON!
Eric: I'm so sorry. Alright. That is another failure as you try to confuse a bunch of terracotta soldiers and then they look at each other and they look at you as if to say, "well, we don't have human brains when you think about it so"
Julia: Gotcha there.
Eric: So there's another failure. You are three successes, two failures.
Julia: They're trying to get on the train?
Eric: A few are encircling you to, like, rough you up and then eventually you're going to try to get on the train because there's something on the train.
Julia (as Val): Aggie, have you figured out what's on the train yet?
Amanda (as Aggie): No, I can go do that if you want?
Julia (as Val): That, be cool to know what they want to get on there for. Maybe we can take it away so they can't have it like a game, a game of keep away. But with terracotta soldiers!
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm on it.
Amanda: Aggie like uses the emergency brake to put the door in manual mode and like it closes the door that she's at against the soldiers after punching another one in the face and then turns around and kind of looks up and down the corridor of the train. I would argue that my superpower, it's like floor plans of the train. I think I would know the general layout.
Eric: You look in there and there is like a twenty one year old boy inside who has long hair that's covering up his eyes and he has like a very large buster sword on his back. And he also is holding a case. He's like,
Eric (as 21 Year Old): What is happening? What is going on outside?
Amanda (as Aggie): Do you have something like valuable or dangerous there?
Eric (as 21 Year Old): I guess? I mean-
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm not like a cop man. There's just like people trying to get you.
Eric (as 21 Year Old): Oh, I understand. I'm a cosplayer and I guess he wants this?!
Eric: And he holds up the case. And inside is a sword. It's a katana.
Julia: Of course.
Eric: With like dragons on the hilt.
Amanda (as Aggie): Could I give you like five hundred dollars, and we use this as a decoy?
Eric (as Cosplayer): No, no, it's super powerful! This isn't a decoy.
Amanda (as Aggie): You said you were cosplaying!
Eric (as Cosplayer): I am a cosplayer, but I found it!
Eric: Make a charisma saving throw.
Julia: Oh, no.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Oh no indeed. I got a nat 1.
Eric and Julia: Oh, no.
Amanda: I think it took all of Aggie brain to remember what cosplaying was.
Eric: Because it's a nat 1. I'm going to give you a failure. And also, you have - I'm going to make a hard move against you.
Amanda: Okay,
Eric: Gonna use a different parlance. There's something in the back of your head that says "that's a fucking tight sword. I have to use the sword and use it to be cool in front of other people. This is going to be so sick!" And Aggie you grab the sword and you have to use the sword. You don't have proficiency in swords and you have to use your strength.
Amanda: Can I try to end this effect on myself or is this just for-
Eric: For the rest of the one, you have to use the sword and you only get +1 to use the sword.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Alright. Yeah. So you are enthralled by this dragon sword.
Amanda: Aren't we all?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: I think Val is going to kind of rub the gauntlets together and slam them against the ground and do that thing where it's create a bonfire and do that in front of the door so that the terracotta soldiers can't get through.
Eric: I love it. Okay, I'm going to make a dexterity saving throw. Here's the thing. Not very dexterous because they're they're terracotta soldiers and they don't have knees, which is a problem for being dexterous. So I have 0. So what's the dexterity saving there? I have to do?
Julia: 15.
Eric: Great. Alright.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: Well, I rolled a 17, a bunch of them straight leg try to hope up over the fire that you create and that is another failure.
Julia: Wow. We are not doing too hot.
Eric: You have three excuses four failures. Hey, does someone else want to roll a D6 for another complication?
Amanda: Alright.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 6.
Eric: Oh, man.
Julia: Uh oh! Don't like that reaction!
Eric: Alright. With a six, all of you make charisma saving throws.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: [Whispering] A nat 20, bitch.
Brandon: Nice!
Amanda: Can I use a luck point or not now?
Eric: If you want to.
Amanda: Alright.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I'll do another one.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I rolled a 4 a 2 and a 2. Last luck point.
Julia: C'mon bud.
Amanda: Can't get worse. Alright. 18, thank God. +1
Eric: So nat 20, 19
Brandon: 8. 9 -1.
Eric: Oookay.
Brandon: Eric have I need to been rolling my spiritual surge, by the way. Or are these just like-
Eric: Oh no. This one doesn't count because it's it's kind of like this is like a boss rush or this is arcade mode. It's not campaign mode. No. Very good question. Thank you. Brandon you remember things and I appreciate it. Val
[Action music gets muffled]
Eric: You see the flames go up in front of the door and you see that a bunch of the front of the terracotta soldiers are like Minecraft, trying to Minecraft hop over it, and then everything stops for a second, like the flames, the trains going by. The air is still. And you see that 20 feet away from you. There is an older man in his 60s. He's a black man, is graying hair and thick braids that are held together by a a rubber band. He's wearing, like just some slouchy clothes. And like socks and sandals, he says,
Eric (as Man): Youngblood, you're not doing so good, are you?
Julia (as Val): I've done better, Sir.
Eric (as Man): That's fair. That's fair. Oh, I shouldn't have stayed this long. Okay, my bad. Buh bye.
[Action music fades back in]
Eric: And then everything starts again.
Julia (as Val): Nice to meet you- okay.
Eric: And it starts again. And the flames go up and you see the terracotta soldiers are jumping and the emperor is flipping through his book once again trying to figure that stuff out.
Julia: Uh, I want to take the book away from the Emperor. Alright. We're in the final round here.
Eric: Let me just - you just want to straight up do it?
Julia: Yeah. Want to take it from him. Just like my first entanglement.
Eric: Make a constitution saving throw to take the book away.
Julia: Con save?
Eric: Can't save.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: You go up to try to take the book from him and he's like,
Eric (as the Emperor): HAH! I prepared from last time.
Julia: It's a 16 +6.
Eric: [Laughs] Oh yeah. Alright, let's make a straight contest you against the emperor. He has -1.
Julia: Great. How's a dirty 20 taste?
Eric: Yeah. You you beat what I rolled. Yeah. You just take the you take a look away from him like.
Eric (as the Emperor): No I need that for things!
Julia (as Val): Yes I know. That is why I took it.
Eric (as the Emperor): Nooo!
Eric: Alright. Yeah. You get another success. Aggie, I think this would be a perfect time for you to jump in and you have to use the katana.
Amanda: I do. Yeah. I'm going to go out the escape at the top like roof hatch of the train and run along the train to wherever the Emperor is and then jump down with the sword. I do some just like spinning motions that like they don't look deft. I'm just like spinning it to try to catch his attention and distract him. But then I want to jump down and stab the book.
Julia (as Val): Milo like he's got a sword. Now watch out.
Brandon (as Milo): Whoa, oh.
Eric: Someone in the background is like,
Eric (as Random Person): Isn't a katana Japanese?
Julia (as Val): Yes it is.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes. There's no consistency to what he does.
Eric (as Random Person): Oh just checking.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. So make an attack roll. You only get +1.
Amanda: 17 +1!
Eric: Oh there you go! I'll give you the success. Yeah. You start this automatically in the book incredible!
Amanda: Yeah. I'm just like thrusting it up through the book so that I like speared on the sword and I'm going to like yank the sword back, try to take it like out of his arms reach as well.
Eric: Nice.
Eric (as the Emperor): No!! I wanted that sword!
Julia (as Val): We got to take Aggie to like a ren faire or something.
Amanda (as Aggie): I know it's not best practice to like fight with the artifacts, but I just I couldn't help myself.
Eric: And the twenty one year old from the train was like,
Eric (as 21 Year Old): Oh, was going to resell that on Etsy. Oh it's notoh- awww.
Eric: Milo. You get the final word.
Brandon: Alright. Milo is upset. You could say all of those attacks have been thwarted. So for his final move he's just going to his ghost arm is going to get massive and he's going to shove it into the ground and then cast erupting earth to pull up all of the ground underneath all of these terracotta warriors.
Julia (as Val): This is a nice train station Milo, no!!
Amanda (as Aggie): Just the asphalt, Milo just the topsoil!
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: Yeah. Anyone within the area must make a saving throw and I'm going to cast it at 4th level, by the way. So on a fail they take four d12 damage.
Eric: Alright. So they only have +1 because they don't have knees. Yeah. I roll the twelve. Yeah. And once again, Milo saves the day by erupting the earth below and the terrible ghost hands once again, just like they did in the warehouse. They come reaching out. But now it's like strange. It's like someone turn you know how Six Flags then turns into a spectacular in October. It's like someone spookified this train station.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah. That I think that you grab all of the regular terracotta soldiers. I think you pull them in because they are not dexterous. But the fake ones, the one the digital ones are able to move backwards at the end of the skill challenge. You have six successes and four failures. I think at that point, without his book or without the regular terracotta soldiers, the Emperor says
Eric (as the Emperor): My subjects, scatter!
[Music begins to fade out]
Eric: And he runs away and gets lost in the crowd. He like jumps in front of a of the of a train that goes like and then he disappears as the train disappears. But the ghost hands are still holding the terracotta soldiers, but they go like not limp because they're made out of terracotta, but like if they don't move anymore and then the digital ones kind of scatter into the air in a flurry of pixels. Aggie, you still really want to use this cool and sick sword?
Amanda: Can I, like, take it home and then realize it's evidence and then bring it in to Dr. Morrow the next day?
Eric: Yeah. Like later you have to make a charisma saving throw after like six hours a day. Like "why do I have a sword?" And yeah, the book is now speared and you can look it over. It's more like a general grimoire of sorts that he thought looked cool because he didn't recognize the language but is actually Gaelic.
[Julia groans]
Eric: So it was didn't even make any sense for. He's not very good at his profession, but, yeah, once again, you guys figured out what happened, but because of the 6:4success to failure ratio, the resplendent Emperor version two escaped.
[Julia groans]
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, my God, this guy will never die.
Julia (as Val): I hate this man so much.
Amanda (as Aggie): He is the worst.
Brandon: Milo realizes in the back of his head that he could put together a pretty tight haunted house Halloween this year.
Eric: It's the first time you realize that that he's like, "I have ghost powers, what if!" The cosplayer comes up to the three of you and says,
Eric (as Cosplayer): So that was gonna be five hundred dollars on Etsy. Which of you are going to give it to me?
Julia (as Val): No.
Brandon (as Milo): The LT3 away!!
[Theme music]