You can’t do a heist alone; you gotta get a team together. Aggie considers a Bansky. Val appeals to teens. Milo gets jump-scared.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes three Tuesdays a month.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Hank Lane has some explaining to do, which he will only do in the Secret Office of Technology Assessments, bunker/dad room in the Stewart's gas station. Hank tells the LT3, that there are some powerful tech that they're keeping in the OTA that can aid them in the fight against Gutenberg, a souped up pair of Val's unknown glasses that can identify if someone is a pixel construct or not. The only issue is, you'll have to steal it from the research lab deep under the OTA building downtown. Sounds easy? Well, probably not because you can't get seen because this would, you know, blow back on the new superheroes who shown their faces. And you know? Superhero dad related to superhero who's running for mayor, so you gotta keep it secret. Let's go steal some secret underground government tech and get the party started.
[JTP Intro Theme Music plays]
Eric: So, Brandon, I'm sure that you hired Steven Soderbergh to set up this whole episode. And whatever the guy that Steven Soderbergh uses as his composer, because, like, I just need- I need, like, Ocean's 11 specific heist music here, and if it doesn't sound like it, I'll know. And so, just, like, I'm sure that you're doing this as people are listening to it.
Brandon: Um, yeah, I think it was a good use of JTP funds that we spent or that I spent without asking you. Can you just give me an example because he asked for, like, comps. Can you, with your mouth, just, like, give me some examples of what you mean by that?
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Maybe-- maybe we'll just use it and loop it or something if we run out of money.
Julia: Please remix it. Please remix it.
Amanda: Yeah, well.
Julia: Brandon, Brandon, remix it.
Amanda: First of all, Eric, you have to close your eyes and picture Brad Pitt chomping on chips, like, behind you in the, like, surround sound.
Eric: True.
Amanda: That will really get you in the space.
Eric: Sure. Well, I have Sour Anthony playing the role of Brad Pitt here. Constantly eating his fucking munchie mix out of his old ziploc.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hey you guys, you wanna do a heist?
Eric: With a big munchie mix. Unfortunately, the only song I have in my head is the Mission Impossible theme song and I don't want that.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: What I don't want is [Eric hums the Mission Impossible tune], because, like, what I really want is, like, some bongos and a slide guitar, so it's jaunty and also secretive at the same time?
[Brandon hums in agreement]
Brandon: So a Country-Caribbean heist song.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: Calypo.
Eric: Yes. If you can just tell-- if you can just tell, yeah, put some steel drums in there too. If you could just tell Steven Soderbergh and Steven Soderbergh's composer, just to throw that together for a podcast.
Amanda: I mean, could we get Steely Dan. Like, have we thought big enough?
Eric: Oh, let's get Steely Dan in the mix.
Brandon: Who writes for Rihanna? Let's get them.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: It's Umbrella but as a-- as a heist song.
[Ominous music]
Eric: Hey, you guys want to get the fucking gang together?
Julia: Sure!
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Let's go!
Eric: Luckily, Dungeons and Dragons, you already have a gang to start with. We have the heavy, and we just cut to Val punching someone in the face.
[Julia grunts]
Brandon: Is it-- that's like a two page splash panel?
Eric: Yeah, 100%. Everyone gets whatever splash panels they want for this as I'm throwing to this. So, we have Val, The Heavy, and you just, like, fucking punch through a person.
Eric: [Julia grunts]
Eric: We have The Inside Man, and it's Aggie looking through a fucking card catalog.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: With her very long fingers?
Amanda: Yeah, and make them really flat, so they go through the card catalog easier.
Eric: And we have The Explosions Expert, but it's, like, ghost hands reaching from the ground to fool people. It's explosions, but of your soul.
Brandon: I thought that was gonna be Tuna.
Julia: Does that mean Milo's gonna do a terrible cockney accent the entire episode?
Brandon: Hello governor --
Julia: Oh no.
Brandon: -- ready to do some heisting aint it?
Amanda: Cheadle?
Eric: Alright, let's get this stuff together for heisting the Office of Technology Assessment, shall we?
Amanda: Sure.
Brandon: We shall.
Eric: So, here are the little sort of, like, game mechanics I want you to think about as we're doing this here. As you are prepping this, I think that you would be able to get two items and two people to help you with this heist. We can add just, like, information on top of it as just kind of like the frosting to this heist cake. As you're prepping this, you have a few days before as Hank said, all the Office of Technology Assessment is doing a field day with their families. So, there's gonna be a skeleton crew on one day, this weekend in particular. I want to remind you, though, that you need to keep this under wraps in many ways. The Office of Technology is a secret government body. And one, they have ears everywhere, you could only assume. And two, people want to heist them for the R&D and secret things that they have within their building. So, you're not the only people who've done this before and they're prepared for attacks in various ways. Okay? The other thing I want you to remember is that Hank, although has given you this idea, and has burned down the Secret Dad Bunker.
Brandon: Nah-uh-uh. Hank didn't give us the idea.
Eric: That's true. He suggested it out loud. And you were standing there and --
Brandon: Yup.
Eric: -- then burn down his dad bunker and save time with-- with an old school 1950s-esque flame thrower ala Fahrenheit 451 movie.
Brandon: Thank you for the correction.
Eric: I saw that movie in, like, a literature to cinema class I took in college, and like, man, old movies, weird.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Right?
Julia: Sure are.
Brandon: There's one more where there was a train coming at me. It was so weird.
Eric: Shut the fuck up, Brandon.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So yeah, one of those flame throwers. Hank can only tell you so much, because remember, he left his job a few months earlier from when he suggested this heist to you. Remember, Milo-- Brandon, I don't know remember if you did this, but you called your dad in the middle of the night and told him he was running for mayor.
Brandon: Oh, I don't think so.
Eric: No.
Amanda: Sounds like Milo.
Brandon: Play the tape back. Play the tape back.
Eric: Let's all wait as Brandon edits that moment in here.
Brandon: Steven Soderbergh, can you play the tape back? Thanks.
[Julia laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, it was like a ripple sound effect. Like a wind chime, xylophone sound effects and then a ripple on the screen and then we see you do it in sepia tone but this time your'e dressed old timey.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: You're wearing a hat in this. You weren't wearing a hat before. So, Hank-- Hank left pretty much immediately after he was thrown into the mayoral race for, you know? Conflict of reasons and secret stuff reasons. So, he cannot tell you exactly what is in the building. Brandon, the offices that Milo went into the first time as we're referring back to when you went in during the time loop arc, those are the offices above. That's like, the regular kind of, like, cubicle and gray and halogen lights portion of the OTA where people,you know, do work and don't know how Zooms work and bring cakes in for people's birthdays.
Brandon: Where, like, grade schoolers go on field trips and stuff.
Eric: Exactly. I think that you can get information there if that's what you're looking for above. However, below, the place that Hank was talking about that had, like, the R&D department, and had, like, secret shit, that is below the building.
Amanda: Do they just call it, like, the archives and on the elevator?
Eric: Uh-huh. So, below it is the-- the archives rooms. I would say that, like, since he's left, you know, he was pretty high up at the OTA. I mean, he wasn't running it but he was, like, a manager of an account and that account was Laketown City, I would say. They probably shifted some stuff around and he can't exactly tell you what is in there and what you could be facing as you go in there.
Amanda: I just want to say right now before we learn what it actually looks like, that I am picturing a real kind of Monsters Inc situation with a vast cavernous space. Like a laundromat tracks and just, like, lots and lots of cubes of dangerous shit being brought all around.
Julia: I love that.
Brandon: I love that.
Julia: That's a great image.
Brandon: And just so many doors, they're not on the laundry rack. They're just there.
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: I'm gonna write down all this stuff.
Amanda: There's bats?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: There's bats flying around at all times. Someone let bats in in the early 90s. And no one should get some one bat and then there's, like, 20.
Julia: Yeah, it was one pregnant bat. Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, that's why all the signs on the back of the bathroom stalls that say like, "Don't flush too much at once." It have, like, a little bat on it.
Eric: That's very funny.
Brandon: That's cute.
Eric: The point is, we don't know what those are. We're just speculating. We're all just having fun here. So, you have two items, two people that you could try to put together for this heist. What do you all want to do?
Brandon: Alright, everyone huddle. Let's huddle. Julia, why aren't you huddling?
Julia: I'm huddled. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Here we go.
Eric: Steven Soderbergh, get in here on the huddling.
Julia: So, Val had that discussion with Hitomi about the, like, college teen superhero --
Amanda: Hell, yeah.
Julia: -- support group thing.
[Eric and Brandon hums in agreement]
Julia: I think that it would be a good idea that as a distraction or excuse for us to get into the OTA offices to basically create some sort of field trip with those young adults so that they can act as a way for us to get in and a potential distraction because a bunch of young adults with superpowers that they don't have a lot of control over; a very chaotic moment.
Brandon: I love that idea.
Amanda: I love that so much. I wonder if Room and Wyvern could join the group, so that we can have some inside agents in that team.
Julia: That's also, yeah, Room, Lou, and Wyvern would be a good combo, perhaps.
Brandon: Do we think, I guess this would just be a role, but do we think they'd be, like, well, we have a field day that day, so maybe we'll schedule for that following week.
Julia: I think we could schedule it, and then just show up and be like, "Oh, we messed up the dates, but we're here already. And we already have something planned for that next week. Would you mind showing us around anyway?"
Brandon: [in a high-pitched voice] Yeah, I packed my lunchable!
Amanda: Totally. I think that's a smart idea.
Eric: Hold on. I want to-- I want to--
Julia: What did you say?
Eric: Yeah, Brandon, who was that and what did you say?
Brandon: That was the young adult person, Stan Lee.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: No, that's bad.
Julia: That's someone.
Amanda: That one is taken. That one is taken.
Brandon: Codename: Oreo, and their superpower is they can fuse two-- two items together into one thing.
Julia: That's cool.
Amanda: That's pretty cool. Like the forge in Stardew Valley.
[Brandon hums in agreement]
Eric: I love Stan Lee and I love his power and kind of hard coming up with NPCs on the spot, huh Brandon?
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Amanda: Yeah
Brandon: I didn't volunteer to be a DM Eric. I know my limitations.
Amanda: That's why Brandon contracted Steven Soderbergh. That's why you do the NPC.
Eric: That's true.
Brandon: Exactly.
Amanda: But no, Julia, I think that's a fantastic idea. I love it. If we can get Lou and Wyvern in on the mix, I think all the better. For my part, I would love to steal Brian Roper's credentials, and see if through either his People's River or day job. He's, like, the closest person I know to kind of municipal government and the OTA as a body. So, you know, maybe the swipe card will work, maybe it won't, but I want to just kind of show up at his office and poke around.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: Smart.
Eric: I like that. That's interesting.
Brandon: Yeah, I think this, you know, I don't know how effective it will be or if it's dangerous, but I think having Tuna go in and get some recon, maybe swipe a, yes, swipe a card or swipe something useful, would be good. And we can sort of gain some insight onto, like, at least where sort of where to go once we get in.
Eric: Sure. Brandon, this is when I put on my DM hat, and I will tell you--
Brandon: Make up an NPC.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Remember what I said earlier, that the OTA is a secret government body that's always watching, I want to tell you, although that would be incredibly effective, because you're sending a ghost cat into steal something for you. If they get caught, that would be a bad and definitely would, I don't want to say raise some alarms, but I guess, would start that process of what that would look like. Especially because Tuna was Hank's cat.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: And people who worked with Hank are gonna be like, "Why is Hank's cat here who died, but also is the cat of Hank's child's Kilonova?" Like, this would be the-- high risk high reward on this one is my warning as your-- your game master here.
Brandon: Right.
Julia: And we do also know that they have the ability to, like, see things that aren't there or see things as they are.
Eric: Right. Also, remember, because this had literally happened to you before. If they use the tech that you are stealing, as Amanda pointed out, they might be able to see invisible ghosts.
Brandon: Yes. So, let's discuss the ideas. I will say that Tuna has a +4 to stealth and I can also cast Pass without Trace so they can have, like, a 14 to stealth. So, it's like, straight up a sneaky slinky cat.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I'm trying to think what else I could do. Something-- Is there something with the museum or something, like, a normal job? I guess I'm famous, so I can't really do anything.
Julia: You could see maybe if the OTA wants to, like, donate things from their archive to the museum.
Amanda: Or I think Julia, you and I are on the exact same page, but the other way around. You could say like, "Hey, the museum found something we think belongs to you. Or this could be bad/dangerous. Do you want to assess it and deliver it?"
Brandon: And then stick in the truck on the way back?
Amanda: Yep.
Brandon: Oh, that's good. I like that. I think these are all great ideas.
Eric: Some other ideas I want to suggest is that if you want to go on the item thing you can go to a person who creates items, maybe Dez or Lou or Dr. Morrow if you feel like confronting an ex. Or you can try to buy it in a different way, if that's something that you want. Also, you can recruit whoever you'd like. Julia to that point, if you want to recruit the entire college class, that would count as one unit as a bunch of teens.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: But then you would have another person on top of that, and you can kind of pick whoever you'd like.
Julia: Sure. I think in this scenario, Lou might be more useful than Wyvern.
Brandon: In most scenarios.
Julia: Just in terms of power set, I guess?
Amanda: Yeah, for sure.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: I agree completely. And I think it's a great idea to talk to Lou. I wonder if Lou is, like, under-- Well, I don't know if they know who Lou is, but if they do who Lou is, she's definitely gonna be, like, under massive surveillance.
Eric: Lou is using her real name. However, they do not have her face, because she keeps shifting her face using, like, face flopping VR augmented reality technology.
Julia: But if she's using her real name, like, wouldn't they have her, like, address, and like, pictures of her from school and stuff like that? Maybe she hacked those and, you know, they're not accurate or whatever. I don't know.
Brandon: Oh, yeah. She might have some kind of Faraday cage or something.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Who can say, I guess is what I would say to that.
Julia: She's the smartest person in Laketown city, so I give her a lot of credit.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: True.
Eric: Very, very true.
Brandon: I think we should go visit Lou. For sure.
Eric: Hell yeah. You can also do all these together, your characters can do them individually, so whatever,--whatever you'd all like to do, you have a few days.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: I would like to leave that to you guys and do something on my own. Is that okay?
Julia: Yeah, that's fine.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: I was going to also be, like, since this is the thing that my girlfriend asked me to do, I think I will talk to the teens on my own.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I'm gonna go chat up Lou then.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Yeah, that'd be great. Okay, and then I want to visit Danny.
Eric: Oh, really?
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Eric: Nice. No, you know what, actually. Hell yeah. Over the last few months, as Danny has become the toast of the art world, Danny is currently living in Banksy's apartment in New York City because Banksy just fucking loves that shit, man. He loves that whole steeze he’s doing.
Julia: Does Danny know who Banksy is?
Eric: Yeah, I know who Banksy is. Do you not know who Banksy is?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Banksy is a bunch of artists who all go by Banksy, but I won't tell you who they are. One of them is a dolphin.
Julia: So, who-- which Banksy owns the apartment?
Eric: The collective Banksy.
Julia: Okay, the entity known as Banksy.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. The plural singular noun Banksy.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So, I think that, yeah, Danny is super hot right now. I think the fact that someone has come out and said that they have powers is bewitching to the art world in a way that, like, it is confessional. I think also, someone figured out that Andy Warhol had super strength and just never used it.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: That's incredible.
Eric: So it's like, in a long tradition here, and I think that everything's going very, very well for Danny right now. So he just, like, is hanging out in Banksy's apartment if you want to go to New York City.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, I'll take the train down one morning and have that moment in the movie where you pan up from, like, the post-it with the address up to the building and I'm just like, "Holy shit."
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: And ring the single doorbell.
Eric: It's really weird because you show up and you look at the address and you look up and like, Ellis Island? Is that-- Is that a joke? And you look up, it is the Statue of Liberty.
Julia: What?
Amanda: Whoa.
Eric: And then you go in and there's an elevator, opens up at Lady Liberty's feet and then it goes down.
Amanda: And sideways? And his apartment is in Hoboken?
Julia: Hoboken, oh, no.
Eric: People think it's in New York City but it's actually in New Jersey. I can't decide if I want this to stand or if I was joking, but I, like, I've lost myself in here. Yeah, you stepped in the elevator, goes down and sideways and around and you are somewhere else in New Jersey or New York City.
Amanda: All I know is I crossed under the path train, so who can say?
Eric: The elevator doors open. And I think it's just like-- it looks like a plane hanger with just, like, weird shit everywhere. Like, there's a statue of a banana, just kind of in the middle of everything. And then to the right is, like, a kitchenette. And then there's, like, a bunch of couches stacked on top of each other. You can't sit in it because it's, like, a testament to capitalism. But then there is, like, a lazy boy next to it, which obviously Banksy does use and Danny is walking up an art installation, which is a Stairmaster that is constantly going but it looks like-- like an old school style escalator. Like, what you would find it in the 1950s mall. But like, it's facing the wall and written on the wall is the American Dream. Like, at the top, so you're always just looking at it as you're walking off the Stairmaster.
Brandon: Hey, guys. Hey, Eric, go away for a second.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Amanda and Julia, is Eric the next greatest modern artists?
[Amanda laughs]
Amanda: It's compelling.
Brandon: Should we get a studio space, like a gallery space? I think we should.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: The gym next door to my apartment just sold a bunch of workout equipment. I feel like we could do this now.
Brandon: Yeah, I'm here. Let's do it.
Amanda: It's possible.
Eric: As you walk in, there are speakers attached to this escalator that are just the audio of 1990s children's toy commercials. So, you walk in and it's like, "Crossfire, get caught in the crossfire." And as the doors open, Danny, like, turns it down and be like.
Eric (as Danny): I don't know why Banksy sets it so loud. Like, we get it.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Danny): Like, this is really a hat on a hat on-- on a statue of Ronald Reagan on a hat.
Brandon: And then he points to that next to him.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Outside of the room. Yeah, it's a statue of a hat on a statue of a hat of a statue of Ronald Reagan with an actual top hat, with actual mercury on the top hat.
Amanda (as Aggie): I don't think I can stay here. Can we, like, go somewhere?
Eric (as Danny): Yes, I am incredibly-- well, I hate everything going on here. However, the Art Press Ravenous hasn't anything to talk about since Basquiat passed away. There are on me a lot, so I think we need to-- I have to hide out here for a little while. How are you?
Amanda (as Aggie): I was coming to check on how you are but it seems like the answer is better.
Eric (as Danny): Oh, yeah. No, it's great. I'm--. They made me a genius again.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow, I didn't know they could do that.
Eric (as Danny): Yeah, they-- the Gu--. In the Guggenheim below the building is a crown that says, "Super genius" on it and they gave it to me.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow. How are-- how are the kids? How's your wife?
Eric (as Danny): Wonderful. They're all incredibly competent and smart and love me and I'm terrible. And they're beautiful and amazing.
Amanda (as Aggie): That sounds about right. Yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Danny): Yeah, so the usual. The Chicago School System both-- gave both of my kids crowns that said, "Super genius" on it as well. Unrelated, they're doing that instead of gifted and talented programs.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, that seems both better and worse. I get it. Listen, I-- I wanted to come a, to apologize for, you know, outing us having a power. I realized I kind of-- I had that discussion, you know, with-- with all of you and Ryan was very eager to talk about perhaps more press for the family. And I, you know, to be honest with you, Danny, I should have thought more about the impacts that my actions would have on others, which is never a sentence I thought that I would ever say.
Eric (as Danny): Oh, are you saying that you did one thing selfishly for the first time in your life, and then it blew up in your face and had consequences?
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean, has that happened to you?
Eric (as Danny): Yes. No, yes, it has. But don't worry, I have a-- I have something to remind myself of that. And he points to the ceiling and written in white paint on the ceiling is; "Your life is just a movie, this is characterization" written in, like, very big letters on the ceiling. The entire ceiling.
Amanda (as Aggie): Did you do that?
Eric (as Danny): No. This was one of the Banksy.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow.
Eric (as Danny): The Banksy. It's a-- it's a noun that's both a plural and a singular that encapsulates all types of people. Maybe not people, also, one of them I know confirmed as a dolphin. Don't tell anyone.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sure.
Brandon: Listen, I know that Patreon and the patron relationship is a metaphorical thing but if we have any actually super wealthy listeners who wants to take Eric as their patron.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: I'll just come up with shit for you. I'll wake up and just be like, "Yeah, what do you want? What do you wish existed?"
Julia: What would be good for you?
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Alright, well I wanted to check in just on you, like, as your sister and make sure you are okay. And I mean, I would offer you by the way my couch to stand on Laketown city but mom and dad are here now. And mom totally brought reporters to my door one morning before I woke up. Pizza was more than happy to, like, hang out with them, so useless guard dog but god, so cute.
Eric: I love the idea of just, like, Pizza belly up with, like, a bunch of your stands just, like, rubbing.
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Eric: Rubbing the belly. And then, like, someone like, "Oh, I'll groomed Pizza" and then has, like, one of those grooming brushes and it gets, like, Pizza's hair and sells it on bad eBay.
Amanda: Hilarious.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Not good eBay, Brandon. That's the one that Milo likes, bad eBay is different.
Brandon: BadBay.
Julia: EvilBay.
Brandon: Oh yeah. The E stands for evil. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Several electronic.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: There's evil Bay and electronic Bay. Milo likes electronic bay.
Brandon: Right.
Amanda (as Aggie): But I-- I'm actually here to ask for your help. We have to, so we are going to a place where we need to get something. And basically, we're-- we're heisting a bad government agency and it's extremely inscrutable how we're going to get in there, what we're going to do, what's down there. Like, we literally don't know what to expect. And that could potentially be a dangerous situation, so I wanted to know, if you felt like, you know, kind of getting into the zone and perhaps thinking about what might happen down there. And listen, if you don't want to collaborate, that's fine, but just out of the spirit of this whole situation, and Aggie looks around the-- Okay, Eric, give me two more objects that are in the room.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Well, first of all, Amanda, I want to applaud you on how much you've grown as a tabletop RPG player. Hot damn. Danny says.
Eric (as Danny): Wait, so is this. Is this a metaphor? Heisting a shadowy government organization?
Amanda (as Aggie): No, it's literally happening. But also, I mean, the metaphor really works itself, doesn't it?
Eric (as Danny): I would say so. And he points to the doorway, which as you pass by, there is a old tiny projector playing a movie by Steven Soderbergh. But it's called Ocean's $11 Billion in Debt. And it's about-- it's about heisting the government to eliminate student debt, et cetera.
Amanda: Excellent.
Julia: Where they got George Clooney to act on it, too.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: It's just four hours of loop of just black and white shots of George Clooney taking money out of various objects.
Eric: Brandon, honestly, correct.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: It's just like, it's George Clooney, like, walking through the West Wing set, and just, like, picking up any object, and there's, like, $100 under it, and he puts it in a briefcase. There's like a lot of that.
Brandon: It's on loop.
Eric (as Danny): Oh. Uh.
Amanda (as Aggie): Like, listen, I know that the inspiration strikes to you sometimes, but I also know that you, you know, you have ways that you sit down and you're like, you have your time and you're, you know, the kids are taken care of, and, like, you're ready to work. And I don't know, like it-- it seems kind of silly that-- that I-- I want to, like, do more with you. I want to-- I want to-- I don't know, I want to be closer, I want to be friends. And I-- you're-- you're busy. But if we could do this thing together, I would find it kind of cool. It would be very useful for me so, you know, I'm-- I'm here hand-in-hand, I will owe you, like, at least 10 hours of babysitting. And that's per child, by the way, so that's five together.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): It's a double order. You know I'm great at it. Did you-- did you get any irreparable bodily harm to you as a kid? No, that was because of me.
Eric (as Danny): No, though, the last time you did this, both of my children had blue eyes for two weeks, which I'm not sure how that happened. But fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): What?
Eric (as Danny): Oh, so you didn't notice the chemical explosion that happened in their room. Okay. Yeah, so that's devaluing in front of me.
Amanda (as Aggie): Hey, they were 14-months-old. How do they have access to chemicals?
Eric (as Danny): Great question. I'm--
Amanda (as Aggie): We're only 30 and 31.
Eric (as Danny): I am the bad parent in my relationship.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So, can you say more specifically, mechanically, we've talked about these paintings and how the painting kind of, like, is a slow whirlpool pushing the reality of what happens to in a way. What are you trying to get? What would you like the painting to do? Or what is the scene that you want Danny to focus on?
Amanda: I would love him to paint me a cross section of the underground levels of the OTA. I just want an insight as to what's down there. Or I would say, like, the context of the item that we're looking for, whether it's like a room, a lighting, a smell, some kind of clue where, mechanically, as we explore what's down there, either we have some sense of the lay of the land, or we kind of know where to focus.
Eric: Hell yeah. Why don't you roll a D20 for me, and I have Danny's kind of like, superhero modifier in my head. The thing that he does, and I will add that to that and tell you how this goes for you.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: My head when Aggie mentioned the niceness stuff, Danny like slowly shoved a painting of Aggie and Danny hugging behind him.
Julia: Aw!
Amanda: Oh, Brandon.
Julia: That's so cute!
Eric: Yeah, now it's peeking out behind the hat on a hat on Ronald Reagan on a hat statue.
Amanda: So, I got an 8. Can I use a luck point?
Eric: Yes. However, I will say if you use a luck point on this, I will say that this rides towards the heist itself. So, if you want to use it, I would say that you only have two do in the-- in the heist.
Amanda: That feels worth it for me. So, I'm going to reroll. I'm actually going to use my Chad dice.
[Brandon chants "Chad dice" repeatedly]
Julia: Come on, Chad! Come on, Chad!
Amanda: Chad gave me a 2, so an 8 it is.
Julia: Oh, boy. Chad!
Brandon: Fucking Chad, come on.
Julia: That's so close to a Nat 20 though.
Amanda: I know.
Eric (as Danny): Danny thinks for a moment. He says, "You know what, I do want to get out of this whole thing for a second. Let's uh, let's go to the-- let's go to the roof." And he pulls, like, a bell man's rope that just kind of, like, in the middle somewhere in the middle of a hanger. He pulls on it and then, like, a rope ladder tumbles from the ceiling. He's like, "I can just do this by myself. You-- you're fine, right?"
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh yeah, I'm just gonna do the old one too. And I, like, stretch up to the top of the roof. And then offer up one hand down below to like, help lift Danny yp.
Eric (as Danny): Rude. Okay. Now they're gonna know I use the rope ladder. You could have done that before, but fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): We've done this since we were kids. I don't know. I don't know. It's just how do you become friends with your siblings after they're just your siblings? I don't-- how do we do that?
Eric (as Danny): I don't know. I don't know why I was mean to you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm keeping myself from Charlie horsing to you right now.
[Brandon and Julia laughs]
Eric: The roof is totally bare. It's just gonna, like, the corrugated iron of this airplane hanger, except written on the top in very bold black paint. It says-- it says, "This is not Banksy's house" on the roof.
Amanda: How is that secure? Why is no one concerned about security of knowing where people live?
Brandon: It says it's not Banksy's house.
Eric: Yeah, but it's not-- it's not Banksy's house.
[Amanda groans]
Eric: And you look over and the Statue of Liberty is very far away as you're somewhere in Hoboken.
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Why did I get to Hoboken?
Eric (as Danny): And I think that's set up there. There's, like, a Adirondack chair and a easel with the paint on it. Standing and look out kind of on the Hudson River in all of New York City. And you sit up there for a while. Danny takes kind of a while to get into the mode. He's, like, "This isn't my house. Like, I-- it's like, it's like I'm wearing--
Amanda (as Aggie): Do toy want me to, like, not watch? I can, like, go get food.
Eric (as Danny): No, it's fine. I just like-- it's like I'm wearing someone else's pajamas. Like, I don't-- I don't like it. It's not mine. He takes a while to get into it. Finally, like, the wind kind of, like, whips up. And you see, like, just a bunch of, like, paper and plastic bags and whatever other detritus from Hoboken is kind of swirled up. And Danny, his eyes have just gotten totally white. And then he just starts painting, it slowly starts to come together. And it's a lot of just, like, darkness, I guess, in the room. Like, he's just painting with, like, a lot of like, midnight blues and blacks and grays and everything overlaying and overlaying. And it's like gets, like, to the point where all of the paint starts to pile up on itself. They get that, like, textured look. And more and more and more of this canvas is covered up by black. And then you realized that start-- he's starting to paint down with, like, yellows and whites. And you see that there is, like, a single halogen bulb coming down on a pedestal with a pair of sunglasses on it. These are aviator sunglasses, and it's incredibly sparse. There's, like, nothing else in there. It's just all of this, like, layered blacks and grays as except for just these incredibly chrome aviator sunglasses. And he kinda, like, shakes himself out of it like, "Oh, okay. I mean, is this helpful? Is this good for you?"
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes, yes, it is.
Eric (as Danny): Cool, should we hug?
Amanda: And I hug him.
[Brandon gasps]
Brandon: It came true!
Amanda: And then wrap my arm-- I make my arms long to hug around to myself as well.
Julia: Aw!
Eric: Okay, these are going to be one of the team's items. Amanda, this item, you need to carry it with you.
Amanda: The painting?
Eric: The painting.
Amanda: How big is it?
Eric: It's like a full sized painting.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: You can refer to the painting once and it will tell you whether or not the item is in the next room.
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: You know, now you know you are looking for aviator sunglasses. It seems to be on a pedestal maybe. Maybe that's just metaphorical. But you can refer to this painting and see if it is in the next room.
Amanda: Wow, okay.
Eric: You can also make an insight check to determine whether or not you believe that this painting is giving you the right information. But of course, I will not tell you if it is true or not.
Amanda: Alright.
Brandon: But you rolled a Nat 20 on that hug painting, so you know that's real.
Eric: Wonderful. So, Aggie is hugging herself and her brother in Hoboken on Banksy's house. Wonderful. Yeah, you want to go-- you want to go find Lou?
Brandon: Yeah, and I'm gonna go through the museum gift shop on my way over to Lou's place. Obviously, we've talked about it beforehand, I'm not just going to show up.
Julia: Do you know Lou's place though?
Brandon: I texted Lou or called Lou or something.
Eric: Wonderful. Interesting. What is uh, what-- what was that?
Brandon (as Milo): It was, "Hey, Lou! It's Milo. I'm the guy that you met that one time that has the ghost powers. I wanted to-- I found this cool thing at the museum that I thought you might like. I just wanted to bring it over and yeah, can I come drop it off?
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, she texts you back. "Sup, d00d." D O O D.
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: Love it.
Eric (as Lou): D00D, and then a ghost emoji. "Yeah, you're not meeting my parents, so let's meet somewhere else."
Brandon (as Milo): Cool. Sounds good. Mlo, and Lou, and Room. Milo and Lou and Room.
Julia: Your friendship is MiLou.
Amanda: Aw!
Eric (as Lou): Oh, is Room coming too?
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, they can.
Eric (as Lou): We get only meet a few places. That's fine.
Brandon (as Milo): They don't need to but if they want to come.
Eric (as Lou): No, now Room-- Room is seeing this text message and is coming.
Brandon (as Milo): What's up? What's up, Room!
Eric (as Lou): Takes a photo of I guess they're, like, in the woods. And there's just, like, a bunch of trees everywhere. And then just, like, in the middle is Room giving the goofiest fucking face.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Like.
[Everybody laughs]
Eric: Like he was mid burping or something.
Julia: I love it.
Eric (as Room): I think if Room's gonna be around and you guys are meeting, like, "Hey, you can just come over. I live out in Weston, but behind my house, there's like a four. There's kind of like a bunch of trees and forests that kind of just go everywhere. We can meet, like, there's a soccer field over there that we can-- we can meet up at."
Brandon (as Milo): Sweet. On my way. And when I say gift shop, I mean, I'm gonna go down to the basement in the museum.
Julia: Yes, that's what the employees called a gift shop.
Brandon: Yep. And as soon as anything small that I can nav.
Julia: Steal?
Eric (as Lucas): All of a sudden, like, Lucas jumps out and goes, "Freeze, time cops." And he's holding, like, 2 80s guns at you.
Brandon: Milo turns into a fog.
Eric: No, you can't do that every time.
Brandon: I panicked! It's a reaction to this point.
Eric: Please make a roll for me, my man.
Julia: Spirits surge, my guy.
Eric: Spirit surge roll.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Really? Really Brandon? Really?
Julia: Truly.
Brandon: I got a 1.
Eric: Beautiful, fucking beautiful.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: Brandon, roll a D10 for me.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Also got a 1.
Julia: Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
Eric (as Lucas): As you turn into a gas, you see, like, yourself filling the entire room. You are expanding to fill the space you're in. And Lucas is like, "Milo, this is not funny. [coughs] What are you-- [coughs] What are you doing? Brandon, what's the first animal you think of?
Brandon: Okapi.
Eric: Lucas has just turned into an okapi.
Brandon: Oh, fuck.
Julia: Incredible.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Talk about Exit Through The Gift Shop, am I right?
[Amanda and Eric cheers]
Eric: For those of you who don't know, an Okapi is kind of like half zebra half horse.
Amanda: They're so cute.
Brandon: And it's got a turquoise tongue.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: They're related to giraffes.
Amanda: I did a diorama on them in fourth grade.
Brandon: It's my mom's favorite animal, so I always think of it.
Eric: That's incredible.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah, so Lucas is now-- is now an Okapi. And he just kind of looks at you and flicks his turquoise tongue and then poops on the floor.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: I'm going to cast a spell magic.
Eric: You cast a spell magic. It did-- nothing happens.
Brandon (as Milo): I text Lou and I'm like, "Hey, Lou, do you have any, like, you know, potions or something, some science to get changed someone from an okapi into a human?"
Eric (as Lou): There's a few minutes of silence from Lou. And Lou says, "Yeah, I can figure something out. Can you give me more details?"
Brandon: I send a photo of an okapi to Lou, but it's not of Lucas. It's from Google Images.
Julia: Oh okay, I thought you're gonna be like, "Here's an okapi in a basement."
[Brandon laughs nervously]
Amanda: Also, I'm a gas.
Eric (as Lou): What about-- What about this Okapi? Are you at the zoo?
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, I thought you were just asking what's an Okapi. No, I turned my friend Lucas into an okapi.
Eric (as Lou): Bummer. Okay. Yeah, I can work on that. That's fine.
Brandon (as Milo): Thanks. Cool. I guess I'll bring Lucas over to you.
Eric (as Lou): Okay.
Eric: Brandon, please make a charisma check for me and you can add your fame modifier.
Julia: Because you're gonna walk an okapi through the city. You're gonna pick it on the sky tram.
Brandon: 10 + 0 + 2, so 12.
Eric: Wonderful. Yeah, so how do you get to this soccer field out in Weston?
Brandon: Well, Eric, I looked through my spell list.
Julia: Transport Okapi, third level spell.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: You do know a person with a van. And it's Val.
Brandon: That is true, but I know-- I know-- I know one thing in this life and I know that it's; Milo does not want to take shit from Val.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: Too true.
[Eric laughs]
Julia: I know one thing, and it's Val would roast him.
Brandon: Alright, well I have a spell called Wind Walk.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: And me and up to 10 willing creatures I can see within range assume a Gaseous Form for the duration.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: And will look like clouds. And we have a flying speed of 300 feet.
Amanda: That's really good, Brandon.
Eric: Please make a Spirits Surge. Please make two because you also tried to dispel magic.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: 16.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 9.
Eric: Okay, wonderful. Yeah.
Brandon: I assume the Okapi is willing because it's Lucas.
Eric: Lucas, the okapi, looks at you and flicks his turquoise tongue and then poops right on your shoes.
Brandon: I'm gonna take that as a yes. And then we turn into clouds.
Eric: I love that.
Amanda: Damn.
Eric: I love that.
Julia: Does it still look like an okapi? Like, is there's just a gaseous flying okapi --
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: -- flying through the city?
Brandon: If you were to see a cloud in the sky that look like in the shape of an okapi, that's what it looks like.
Julia: A very specific shape.
Eric: There's a Milo cloud and an okapi cloud.
Amanda: Very good.
Brandon: Soaring through the air.
Amanda: And then, 15 years later on the refrigerator of some former preschooler from Laketown city, there is in fact a photo they drew of the magnet with an okapi cloud and a Milo cloud.
Eric: I also rolled a 19. So, that also was the cover of National Geographic for that month; was a photo of those clouds.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Let's go.
Brandon: And they were like, "New cloud shape discovered." And Milo sees it in the the actual gift shop of the museum.
Eric: I like the idea that the National Inquirer bought National Geographic in this alternated universe.
Amanda: Oh no, that's dark.
Eric: It's very funny.
[Midroll music pings]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. This is the last episode of Join the Party in 2021. And I just want to say thank you, to all of you. This has been a wild year, continuing off a wild year before that, but Join the Party has always been something that we can remember. And I personally have been able to put a lot of creative energy into and love and all been able to, like, have a lot of fun with all the players and making this thing possible. It's been really good for me to have and I know it's been good for everyone else. And I'm sure it's been good for you. So for all of you listening out there, we couldn't do it without you. Thank you so much. This is the midroll. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year. Thank you to all of our patrons. We are recording this one in advance so our team can have some time off, so we are going to thank all of our fabulous new patrons next time. But hey, it's still a great time to become a patron of Join the Party. Start 2022 off right, let's lay out everything you get when you join the Patreon. You get our bonus podcast; Party Planning about being a better player and DM, and whatever the JTP folks wants to talk about. You can get the video version of that podcast, you can get the bonus campaign Join the Team, you can get bloopers, you can get playlists, you can get discord access. There is so much waiting for you, it is your time to sign up now, patreon.com/jointhepartypod. That is patreon.com/jointhepartypod. I also think you should check out the other shows that are part of the Multitude Collective. I think you'd really like Spirits. Now, you've heard of Amanda, you've heard of Julia, but instead of playing Dungeons and Dragons, what if they talked about mythology. Spirits is a history and comedy podcast focused on everything folklore, mythology, and the occult, told through the lens of feminism, queerness, and modern adulthood. Every week, our very own Julia and Amanda get together to learn about a different story from mythology and folklore over drinks. Everything, from the mythological origins of major franchises like Lord of the Rings, and Wonder Woman, to modern urban legends, to a round-up of werewolf stories from around the world. Start listening to any of the 250 episodes they've released over the last five years, so much to enjoy. Whether you're here for analysis of mental health and mythology, or creepy modern ghost stories told by real actual listeners. Dive in at spiritspodcast.com or search for Spirits wherever you download your podcasts. I would also recommend the ones that have me on it. I think I did a great job. We are sponsored this week by Inked Gaming. Inked is a company built by gamers for gamers and has been at the top of their game for supplying their customers with world class products since they first launched back in 2011, from play mats to dice bags to sleeves and dice, they are your one stop shop for quality gaming gear. They believe every gamer is an individual and is our mission to help you customize the way you play. Easy and affordable. All artists and creators featured on gaming receive a commission from product sold of their work, which is all you really want from your friendly neighborhood online game store. And as a part of their sponsorship for this episode, Teamed Inked has given us a special 10% off discount which we're giving to you. Head over to their site, inkedgaming.com/jointheparty, pick out some items and when you're ready to check out, use the code [jointheparty] to receive 10% off your order. That is inkedgaming.com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored by Brooklinen. These days your home may feel a little bit less like the refuge it should be because, you know, spent all that time in it forever and forever going forward. But you can up your comfort level with Brooklinen with all of your home good needs. Their goal is to create beautiful high-quality home essentials that don't break the bank. Brooklinen started with bedding but now offers all the essentials to make every corner of your home next level comfy. 5-star sheets were just the start and their collections of must-haves includes everything from dreamy decor, to cozy loungewear, to their new line of slippers. I will say, I have the sheets, I have the duvet cover for the blanket, and I have the sweatpants, and every single one of them is comfy-cozy. And I call it comfy-cozy because you can be comfy and you can be cozy, but you got to be comfy-cozy all at the same time. So, Brooklinen is going to help you with that and you can be just as comfy-cozy, all one word, as me. Get comfortable, comfy-cozy this season and save while you do it. Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code [jointheparty] for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. That is B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. and enter promo code [jointheparty] for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. brooklinen.com promo code [jointheparty] comfy-cozy. Finally, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Listen, the best way to think about therapy is through a bunch of analogies. We get our car serviced to prevent bigger issues down the road, we see the dentist for our teeth to prevent cavities and other issues. Going to therapy is like all of the above. It's routine maintenance for your mental and emotional wellness to prevent bigger issues down the road. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So, you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Why invest in everything but not your mind? This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and we want you to invest in your mind. And Join the Party listeners can get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That is B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/jointheparty and no, the bone witch cannot come because really, investing in your mental health is important. And I'm not going to make a joke about a magical hag who uses bones to foretell the future instead of therapy. So, it's pretty funny and I'm really appreciative that all of you like it.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: And now back to the show.
[Midroll music pings]
Eric: Hell yeah, yeah. So you-- you can fly through the air towards Weston. I think that you-- you pull up and you're kind of in a Squirrel Hill at Squirrel Hill fields out in Weston, where you can see that a bunch of preschoolers are playing soccer, but they're playing soccer in the way that children do, is that like, like, just imagine, like, 20 4-year-olds running at the ball all at the same time and trying to kick it.
[Brandon hums in agreement]
Eric: And Lou and Room are sitting in the stands. Lou has on the high school uniform that you saw her in at the party and Room is going, "Soccer! Beautiful game!"
Brandon: Game of Kings!
Julia: Is the school uniform one that's identifiable to a school in Laketown city?
Eric: Good question, make a history check for me.
Julia: Oh good. My best skill.
[Amanda laughs]
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Oh, 17 - 1 for a 16.
Eric: Wonderful.
Brandon: That's pretty dang good.
Eric: The answer is no. If you look closer at it, what you realize, I guess, after hanging out with Lou at the gala, it literally just says likem "Charles Xavier School for-- for mutants on it."
Julia: Incredible Alright, cool. Thank you, Eric.
Eric: So yeah, they-- as you fly up, they're sitting on the-- on the stands watching this preschool soccer game.
Brandon: Well, we condense down into rain and then collect on the ground and then reform into people and an okapi.
Julia: Horrifying.
Eric (as Lou): Lou says, "Horrifying."
[Players laughs]
Brandon: Did you want me to take an okapi on the sky tram or?
Eric (as Lou): No, there was just a moment where you looked like jello, which I hate it. Yeah, what uh, what do you need though, buddy boy?
Brandon: And Milo gestures wildly at the okapi.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, okay. What? Can you give me some more information, please?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I went down to the-- what we call the gift shop. It's where the employees steal things that no one's gonna notice from the museum. And I was gonna bring you a present. And Lucas was down there. He's my coworker. He's my best friend. And he scared me cuz he's thought that'd be funny. And I turned into a cloud when I get scared now. And, you know, I think it really scared me. So I-- some, something happens. Something-- some ghost from outside, that'd be funny to pull a prank and turn Lucas into an okapi. So yeah...
Eric (as Lou): Cool. Neat.
Brandon (as Milo): How are you? What's up? How are you doing?
Eric (as Lou): Taking this all in, I’m liking it. It's pretty neat.
Brandon (as Milo): On the way over here, I was thinking of our friendship name and I was thinking MiLou, what do you think about that?
Eric (as Lou): No, sorry, I'm running the calculations of how to turn your friend back out from an okapi. That's good. Whatever you said, I agree. I agree with it.
Brandon (as Milo): MiLou and Room, MiLou and Room.
Eric (as Lou): Friend. Also the charisma check, I want to say that um, unfortunately, no one now thinks that you have an okapi sidekick anymore, unfortunately.
Julia: Have the small 4-year-old children noticed the okapi on the soccer field?
Eric (as a kid): That's a great question. At some point, when the goalies on both of the sides instead of just looking at the cloud and be like, "I saw-- I saw an okapi in the sky." And they look over like, "There's an okapi now with ghost-- ghost superman."
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Thank you. Thank you for that. That's what I needed in my day.
Eric (as a kid): I want oranges.
Brandon: I look forward to them telling their parents the story and the parents are like, "Yeah."
Julia: Sure, bud.
Brandon: And then going back to their other parent and being like, "I think our kid has too active an imagination. Is that a thing?"
Eric (as kid’s parent): Damn it, Donalds. Why are we talking about okapis and you don't love me anymore.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Oh, no!
Eric: Brandon, this is what happens when you create NPCs.
Julia: They have existential crisis.
Brandon: And then the partner slowly turns away from the room and tears in half two plane tickets to Aruba.
Julia: No!
Amanda: No! I don't consent!
Eric: This is scenes from our marriage.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: That's what happened from your charisma check is that Chad's family fell apart.
[Brandon and Julia laughs]
Eric: No!
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, I can work on some stuff. Yeah. What-- was there another reason that wasn't okapi related that you wanted to hang out? Or do you want to-- you needed me?
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, yeah. Um, I was gonna, I had some questions. So, you have, I don't know. Like, I thought I had some super secret burner phones, but I don't think that they work maybe. So, I didn't want to say anything over text or anything, but do you have any, like, you know, like, Faraday cage or something we can bubble we can go in that we can't be heard or seen or spoken at? Or, you know, some science?
Eric (as Lou): Sure. Yeah. Um, I-- I don't. Yeah. When do you need it by?
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, I meant, like, right now. Do you just have one of those on hand that we can talk to each other in?
Eric (as Lou): Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm juggling these two. I have okapi on one side of the brain and Faraday cage on the other side of my brain. Yeah, let me-- just just let me think about it. Lou gestures to Room and Room like, Room turns around and has a very, very, very small backpack on him.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: But really, it's just a regular sized backpack with Room sized straps.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: And he leads down and Lou is rooting around in there. So Brandon, here's what has-- here's what's gonna happen mechanically, is that since Lou is spending equal amounts of time trying to turn Lucas back from being an okapi. This is again, just the stuff that she has on hand. So I think that she's pulled, like, an alchemy kit out of her backpack. And is kind of like pouring tinctures together. And at the same time, she grabs, like, a little bobblehead of a corgi. Like, it's like a Funko Pop style. It's just like big head, like, big eyes. And she, like, pushes the Funko Pops’ head and it kind of, like, bobbles around. And you see the, like, almost imperceptibly, like, a dome kind of like comes out from the little corgi thing and covers the okapi and you and Lou, but Room is outside. And you see one of the children accidentally scores a goal because the other-- the goalie was looking at the okapi. And you see, like, Room clap and cheer, but you can't hear anything. So, Lou was like.
Eric (as Lou): "Yeah, no, just you can-- I can pay attention while I'm doing this. What's up? What do you need?"
Brandon (as Milo): Awesome. Thank you. Um, so we are going to-- the LC3 are going to go heist a government agency. The OTA, have you heard of them? Keep that on the down low, if you don't mind. But uh, yeah, we we're gonna see-- we wanted to see maybe if you wanted to come along if you thought you'd be useful, or if you didn't, then maybe if you have some kind of like invention, plans, thoughts, warnings, you know, something that might help us in the-- in this way?
Eric (as Lou): Sure. Yeah. Man, you guys are really hurting after, like, Dr. Morrow is out. I feel like you're trying to replace her with me. Like, filling that-- that scientist hole you have in your heart. As she like, pours a purple liquid into a silver liquid and it goes;
[Solution sizzles]
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, maybe we-- yeah, sure. That's a fair assessment. But no, I mean, we'd like you because you're you. You're awesome. And we want you-- we want you to do cool things and I want to do MiLou, you know?
Eric (as Lou): Yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): Skip to MiLou. That's our-- that's the name of our anime.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, um, okay. Well, why don't you say, like, two nice things about me? As she's like, swirling the liquid around in the test tube.
Brandon (as Milo): I mean yeah, you're the smartest person in Laketown city, but that's just kind of like a title now. Not necessarily a nice thing. I see. I get it. You got cool fashion sense. I love this-- this look. And you seem to make very genuine friendships.
Eric (as Lou): Aw!
Brandon (as Milo): It seems very nice.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, oh my god. You did that. No one ever does that. They just told me to fuck off. And then make with the science biz, chop, chop!
Brandon (as Milo): No.
Eric (as Lou): Alright.
Brandon (as Milo): I want to be friends! MiLou!
Eric (as Lou): Coming out so strong. Okay. Yeah, just hold on.
Eric: She reaches back into her backpack and pulls out, like, a giant baby bottle and pours the liquid which is now still going.
[Sloshing water SFX]
Eric (as Lou): And then like, is hand feeding it to the okapi, Lucas. And be like, Yeah, I-- if you want me to come along, I can. I also can just, like, give you-- kind of give you some stuff that you're-- that you're interested in. That-- yeah, whatever you need, man.
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, if you want to come heist and you feel like that's a good use of your time and you're-- it's not like, you know, too risky for you, we'd love to have you.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, no, I can just tell my parents I'm going over to Stacy's house.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, don't tell them you're going over to the superhero, Milo's house.
Eric (as Lou): No, I'm going to Stacy's house. There's no Stacy. It's worked out for a while.
Brandon (as Milo): I see. Yeah, gotcha.
Eric (as Lou): But no, I'm in for the heist. That sounds great.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I mean, I would love for Room to come along too but I think Room might be less good at sneaking. I don't want to make that assumption but it seems maybe.
Eric: Room starts jumping up and down to celebrate the goal and the bleachers just fall out underneath him.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Oh, no.
Brandon (as Milo): So, I don't know if-- if Room, you know, has a poker night or something that night or whatever but...
[Eric laughs]
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, no, that's fine. I can-- he can hang out. He isn't-- Stacy's-- Stacy's parents are sometimes love Room and sometimes hate Room, so that we can-- we'll we can facilitate that.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Eric (as Lou): Cool.
Eric: Hey, my man, make a stealth check for me.
Brandon: 12 + 3 for 15.
Eric: Cool. Yeah, I think you wrap up your conversation with Lou. And as she is bottle feeding Lucas, eventually, he animorphs out of an okapi and becomes, like, half-Lucas has I half-okapi at one point. As soon as he becomes Lucas he goes.
Eric (as Lucas): I hate being time cops!
Brandon (as Milo): Lucas, I am so sorry.
Eric (as Lucas): I'm gonna have to reckon with the fact that I can't taste in the same way ever again. And if I asked you to become an okapi, again, don't let me .
Brandon (as Milo): Deal.
Eric (as Lucas): Can I be an Okapi again?
Brandon (as Milo): No.
Eric (as Lucas): Damn it.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Cool. Alright, so you got another person on the squad. I would say you bringing Lou, you can also, if you want to keep that item slot open, you can-- Lou might have been able to, like, have put that in your bag already. Instead of trying to, like, talk to Dez and Dez would not have come with you on the heist.
Brandon: I'll MacGyver some shit out of chewing gum and more chewing gum.
Julia: Precisely.
Eric: Yeah, exactly. I will say, unfortunately, I don't know if you're going to be able to get your hands on Brian Roper's ship, because you ended up talking to Danny instead.
Amanda: That's okay.
Eric: Alright, Ghoulia, you ready?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. We go from color to ala black and white panel, as Milo is telling Lucas, he can't become an okapi anymore. And then it says, "Meanwhile," and we cut over to Val. Julia, what do you wanna-- what do you want Val to do?
Julia: So, Val is going to go to that superhero meeting at SUNY Laketown city that Hitomi had mentioned.
Eric: Sure thing.
Julia: Or rather Vulcani is going.
Eric: Oh, Vulcani is going. Okay. Good to know. Yeah, you're walking up through College Park. We've spent some time there, but I think we're actually going to go inside of SUNY LTC for the first time. Morrow University and SUNY LTC are very close to each other. Like, the entrances are, like, you enter on College Parkway. And on one side, as you turn and you look over in Morrow University, there are so many statues of Dr. Morrow just, like, speckled throughout the campus there. It's like someone only had their likeness and didn't have anyone else's likeness and said, "Alright, oops, all Dr. Morrows."
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia: Sure.
Brandon: Do you think Dr. Morrow has her own cereal in Laketown city? She probably does, right?
Amanda: It's probably like the Price Chopper brand of, like, falsified cereals, you know? What are they called?
Eric: Of like name brand?
Amanda: Like, a generic. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Generic brands. I like the idea that maybe they're a little, like, barrels of nuclear waste and they turn your milk green, like neon.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Julia: It's a real 90s choice.
Amanda: Yeah. I'm feeling kind of Captain Crunch vibes.
[Brandon hums in agreement]
Amanda: Like, it's Captain Dr. Mayor Morrow Crunch.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: And their little green things of Diaphragm.
Eric: Yeah. Oops, all Diaphragm is the one that has all the barrels of waste in it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then as you look at SUNY LTC, it's just like a very kind of like, nice University. The SUNY system, what you're talking about is the State University of New York System.
Julia: A real thing, the jewel of the state.
Eric: It's wonderful. And there are- there are colleges all over New York state but I guess you-- wherever you are listening. And in your, or in your country, you have a state university system, or maybe you live in Europe and things are better there. I like to imagine that, like, it's inset into the forest because, you know, College Park is all the way in the top left corner of Laketown city. So, I feel like they tried to keep as many of the trees as possible, so I feel like there's a lot of, like, walkways, or literally, like, a round forest. For those of you who've been to, like, music festivals, it's kind of like when there are places, like, very much off the beaten path. It's, like, all of a sudden, you're like, "Oh, am I just in the forest for 10 minutes?" And then you walk out and then you're like, there's a massive building, like, right in front of you. And that's the science building.
Amanda: Or one of those big Ren Fairs, that's like a whole town.
Eric: Yeah.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric: Exactly. Exactly. So, I think that, like, you walk past, like, a bunch of college buildings. And then there's one, I think that you walk about in the Student Union. That's, like, very much just, like, inset into the forest. And Hitomi is waiting for you out on the steps.
Julia: Also, I totally know the way because canonically, Val went to SUNY Laketown city.
Eric: That's right. I forgot. You have a degree in communications there, right?
Julia: I do.
Eric: Fucking hilarious.
Amanda: Did you spend any time at-- in the student union when you were there?
Julia: Oh, for sure.
Brandon: Played a lot of ping pong.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: I ruled that foosball table.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Please make a perception check for me.
Julia: I'm not good at perception though.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Ooh, I rolled an 18 though.
Eric: Hell yeah. You see the college student River Greens playing hacky sack by himself right in front of the foosball.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Val points at their eyes, points at River Green.
Eric: The hacky sack falls dramatically to the floor as River Green runs away.
Julia: Excellent.
Eric (as Hitomi): Hell yeah. Hitomi says, "Please don't scare the students when you come in like that. Do you know--"
Julia (as Val): He knows what he did.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hitomi): Your life is full of secrets and I love you.
Julia (as Val): I love you.
Eric (as Hitomi): Um, hey, so, okay, so I guess we just needed to get your-- we need to get you, like, a badge to come inside. I haven't heard from these the, like, the administrative department. There's a professor, like, the professor usually, like, shows up 10 minutes late because, like, this-- the professional advisor, so we can-- we can figure that out. Are you excited, are you ready to empower some children?
Julia (as Val): Oh, hell yeah. I love empowering children. I like them to feel like they are responsible for their actions and also that they are the future.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: You sound like an infomercial teaching someone how to-- learn how to play dodgeball.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric (as Hitomi): So yeah, you go in, there's, like, a security guard kind of set up there. Who's looking through and Hitomi's like, "Hey, I'm here for, like, the Powered Students Alliance Meeting. I think we should have a batch for Vulcani.
Brandon: PSA?
Eric (as Security Guard): Yeah, PSA. And he's flipping through and he's like, "Alright, let me look here. Let me see what we have registered here. Oh, that's a strange-- I know who -- You're-- your'e Vulcani?
Julia (as Val): Yes, I am the superhero Vulcani.
Eric (as Security Guard): Okay. Well, okay, we know we have Ms. Devi had put a badge aside for a superhero, but it says, I've written down that we have Hardbody.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I'm sorry, did they already pick that badge up?
Eric (as Security Guard): No, it's, like, it's right. It's here. But you're not Hardbody, you're Vulcani you have different powers. You have-- yours is--
Julia: Val just stares at him.
Eric (as Hitomi): Hitomi like, steps in front of you and says, "Hey, ah, that no, we-- this should be registered. I talked to Miss Devi earlier today and she said that she was-- she has all the things for Vulcani."
Eric (as Security Guard): Like no, it seems like we have Hardbody here.
Julia (as Val): They sound similar. Maybe you misheard?
Eric (as Security Guard): No, I don't think so. I never misheard anything-- anything before.
Julia (as Val): I would like to intimidation check. I think you misheard.
Eric: Yeah, do an intimidation check. Sure.
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia: Do I get to add my fame?
Eric: Sure.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: I only rolled a 13, but with my fame it's a +9 so it's a 22.
Brandon: Jesus Christ!
Eric (as Security Guard): Please, you're melting through my desk. Like, your hands have melted through it-- literally, like, your hands are on fire and are melting through the desk.
Julia (as Val): I apologize the SUNY system should probably pay for that. They're very generous with their grants.
Eric (as Security Guard): No, it seems like my desk is just gonna have a Vulcani hand hole in it. No, that's okay. I mean--
Julia (as Val): I bet the kids take pictures with that.
[Brandon snickers]
Eric (as Security Guard): Hopefully, well, now I recognize you from the TV. You're fine.
Julia (as Val): Thank you.
Eric: That's-- I don't know why. I will-- I will email her and make sure that is straightened out. Okay. Well, I guess you're going to be co-presenting with Hardbody. Are you okay with that? I mean, it sounds like Hardbody is invited. I didn't invite you, but Miss Devi must have got where we were, we, you know, we've been trying to invite different superheroes from everywhere. So, she must have just gotten her scheduling mixed up, so I don't know.
Julia (as Val): I guess we'll just do one presentation and then the other?
Eric: Yeah, I guess so. That's fine.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Hardbody): Who is ready to learn? Shannon Red Wine your high school bully aka now Hardbody after you having a Harley Quinn Poison Ivy relationship with the Sommelier a just fucking walks through a wall. Being like, "I'm ready to educate,"
Brandon: Like the Kool Aid, man?
Julia (as Val): That's property damage.
Eric (as Hardbody): Fine. Oh, Vulcani, you're here. Weird.
Julia (as Val): You're here. That's also weird.
Eric (as Hardbody): I didn't spend five years preparing for the TED talk that I haven't been able to do yet. For me not to be able to present at the same time as someone else. It's fine.
Julia (as Val): Why did you spend five years preparing for a thing that no one ever invited you to do in the first place?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hardbody): It's like you don't know what the secret is, and you're trying to be rude about it.
Julia (as Val): I am.
Eric (as Hardbody): I could tell her. Hi, um, I am Hardbody. I just-- it's with a capital H, A as in Ardbody, R as in Rdbody, D as in D in the Hardbody.
Julia: Dbody?
Eric (as Hardbody): Dbody. Oh, yeah, you go. Oh, yeah, I have-- I have the security right here. Watch out, this is Bolton.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Let's cut over to you two in front kinda just like in this nondescript college room. There's just, like, a bunch of college students kind of laid out on-- on various chairs and there's some beanbags. And someone has willingly sat on the floor because it doesn't hurt your back to do that when you're 19.
Julia: That;s true.
Eric: Maybe that's your superpower, being able to sit on the floor. Fuck. So Julia, please present.
Julia (as Val): Hello, my name is Vulcani. It's nice to meet you all.
Eric (as College Student): Hey, Vulcani, what's up?
Julia (as Val): What's up?
Brandon (as College Student): What's up Vulcani? I love you.
Julia (as Val): You're really cool. Appreciate you. So I-- it's been a weird year for me. I have been a superhero now for about a year. And I know better than anyone that it is a difficult position to be in when it comes to having powers that you might not have complete control over, you know? It's hard and putting yourself in dangerous situations is not the best idea when it comes to using your powers for what you probably will use them for which is for good. So, I'm here, kind of putting out feelers in order to see if any one of you would be interested in what I've been calling, like, A big super little super program. Because like, I know if I hadn't had the right kind of guidance as a superhero, and like, honestly, like, as a fucking queer, non-binary person, if I hadn't had the proper guidance when I was at, like, an impressionable age like you folks, then I don't know what I would have done. And I might not have turned out the way that I turned out. So, I'm here kind of offering my support, and to try to find interested parties in a program where you can learn how to use your powers responsibly. And without putting other people in danger.
Eric: Someone has taken a photo of you and on the internet, there's Vulcani says, "Trans rights," like meme going around for a little while.
Julia (as Val): Vulcani just points that person. "Fuck yeah!"
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Amanda: Bunch of people, like, raise their pronoun pins up. "What up?"
Eric (as Hitomi): Hitomi says, "Oh, wonderful. I-- that would be great. I mean, if you're looking, we're, you know, this would be a different thing outside of the college thing, but I obviously, I trust Vulcani and everyone else in the LT3 and the other superheroes that are here. And I think that's a wonderful thing. We'll get everyone's contact info. Does anyone have any questions for Vulcani? Or do you-- do you have anything else to say before we go to questions?
Julia (as Val): I was also going to-- someone raised their hand. Would they like to ask me a question before I go on to my next point?
Eric: Oh, is this Oreo?
Eric (as Oreo): Yeah, this is Oreo. Are you also able to help with, like, my calculus homework or?
Julia (as Val): Fuck no.
Brandon: (as Oreo) Okay.
Julia (as Val): Yes, person in the front there?
Amanda: (as a College Student) Um, does this-- does this come with credit? Can I get an internship?
Julia (as Val): I am not offering internships at this time. This is like a big brother, big sister, little brother, little sister program. Do you know what that is? It's a mentorship.
Amanda (as College Student): Do we get, like, community service hours to her graduation?
Julia (as Val): If you do community service, yes, I will sign papers saying you did community service.
Amanda (as College Student): Tight as fuck.
Julia (as Val): Cool. Thank you.
Brandon (as College Student): Can I do, like, a work study? Can I, like, answer the phones and get some credit or?
Julia (as Val): Again, I am not in a position where I can hire you for any sort of job.
Eric (as Hitomi): Hitomi says, Oh, I have a question.
Julia (as Val): Yes, Miss?
Eric (as College Student): Could you share, I guess a few things that you've learned over the last year or so about superhero-ing to everyone here who has powers for those of you want to go on the superhero track in your life?
Julia (as Val): Excellent question. Point one that I will be making.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): Your superpowers are more than what defines you. And also, they can evolve into different things. I used to just be able to vibrate and move really fast, now I have five powers. Can you imagine what would have happened if, like, I didn't know what I was doing and then I got fire powers? That would have been terrible. I forget the point of the question. What else was I saying?
Eric (as College Student): What are some of the things you've learned, Vulcani?
Julia (as Val): That taking care of your community and the people that you love is extremely important and should be the most important thing to you. And when you have superpowers you do have a responsibility to your community to do what is best for them.
Eric: In the back Hardbody raises her hand.
Julia (as Val): Does anyone else have any questions?
Eric (as Hardbody): Um, I have a question.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Hardbody): So, I love everything you're doing there, this is so great for you. But how do you make any money doing it?
Julia (as Val): I have jobs that aren't superpower related.
Eric (as Hardbody): Wow, so superhero-ing is your side hustle?
Julia (as Val): Man, we live in a society, I have to have a job.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hardbody): I'm so sorry that this has to be a side hustle, that is hard.
Julia (as Val): It's not a side hustle. It is a thing that I do for my community because I love it. It's like, you know, how some people volunteer their time to, like, clean up community gardens and shit like that.
Eric (as Hardbody): No, I don't.
Julia (as Val): Oh, you don't know what community service is, that makes sense.
Eric (as Hardbody): No, no. Well, thank you. Now I learned about it. I will look it up later.
Julia (as Val): How did you graduate college?
Eric (as Hardbody): Um, well, well, doing credits and things.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric: Alright, so if anyone wants to talk to Vulcani later, we can-- they can sign up. There-- they can sign up there on the back.
Julia (as Val): I will also be talking to your academic advisor about organizing a community superhero field trip in the next coming week if you are all interested, because I think that organizations like, say, Morrow Corp. and the OTA are actually very insightful in the history of how superheroes interact with our community. So, if anyone is interested in signing up for that, and seeing some cool offices at the OTA, you can also sign up for that as well.
Brandon (as College Student): Oh, hell yeah. I'll pay for Illegible.
Eric (as College Student): Oh, hell yeah, yeah, let's go on a field trip. That sounds great.
Eric: Yeah. And I think that you can-- you can go to the back. There's a-- there's a sign up sheet at the back there. Hardbody starts there-- their conversation. Do you want to listen?
Julia: I do want to listen to it.
Eric: You do want to listen to it?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Okay great.
Brandon: I do want to say that, like, 70% of the college kids are already at the things putting their names on while Hardbody goes up to the --
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Brandon: -- stage.
Eric (as Hardbody): Great. I'm so happy that we were-- I'm able to talk about after Vulcani. Vulcani is talking about a lot of things that I also believe in, but what I also want to talk about is, and why I was invited here is what-- what can you do to make superhero-ing your job? Now, it seems to be a little complicated, you think that you're-- there's just Batman there. And if you want, if you-- not all, we're not Batman, our parents didn't die and leave us tons of money. You do need-- there needs some amount of, "I need to have a job," also at the same time. So, here are some ways for you to be able to do this. One, you could join and have a benefactor similar to what the Laketown city three were doing. But then recently, that didn't happen anymore. And I feel really bad about that for you.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): For the record, any money that I did get from our "benefactor," I didn't realize until much much later.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hardbody): It's also confusing and also kind of a dark money situation, which we don't all want to be a part of. Another thing you could do is if-- as a freelance superhero that I am with-- with my business partner, the Sommelier, you can get up contracts where someone needs you to do things for them or protect a certain thing now--
Amanda (as College Student): Isn't that like being a mercenary? Like, isn't that bad?
Eric (as Hardbody): It's exactly like being a mercenary, but you got to get that hustle, get that back.
Julia (as Val): I have a question about how you morally choose your clients.
Eric (as Hardbody): Oh, yes, great question. I only choose good ones, which I check with my conscience. Thanks.
Julia (as Val): So you do research into these people and these shell corporations that are probably hiring you? I asked only because I know some of the former clients of the Sommelier.
Eric (as Hardbody): Great question. I checked, we do extensive research with our research team. And also, I checked with my conscience. And if I know what's good or not, then I can go there because all of us should be able to check with who we are to make sure that we know, like, what's good and what's the defending what's right and good. For example, working with the United States government is good because they're our government.
Amanda (as College Student): I’m pretty sure that’s not true.
Brandon (as College Student): I don’t think that’s right.
Eric (as Hardbody): Right. Great question.
Julia (as Val): You're in a room full of college students.
Eric (as Hardbody): And they all-- and they will work and we are all here in the state university system, which is set up this college for us– for us to have less expensive college. Sounds great. So, I can't talk too much of it, but I will say that I-- I have taken some government contracts and I feel very good about it. And I've been able to work with some very interesting people.
Brandon (as College Student): College should be free.
Julia: I'm looking forward to this finally when I get to fight Shannon Red Wine since she's probably the bodyguard for the OTA now. So, looking forward to that.
Eric: Make an insight check.
Julia: I got +4 to insight. So, I rolled a 14 so it's an 18.
Brandon: It's pretty good.
Amanda: Pretty good.
Eric: It's one of two choices. Either Shannon Red Wine is going over to the Middle East or she's probably working for the OTA.
Julia (as Val): I texted the other people in the LT3. So, Shannon Red Wine probably works for the OTA as a freelancer, just as a heads up.
Brandon (as Milo): Which one is that? Is that The body?
Julia (as Val): Hardbody.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, right. Yeah, that's how--
Julia: Eye roll emoji.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, gotcha.
Amanda: Aggie sends a heart and then says, "Fuck" and then sends the person making an X emoji. That's the one I meant.
[Eric huffs a laugh]
Brandon (as Milo): Find her kryptonite while you're there,
Julia (as Val): It's having morals, is her kryptonite.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): I don't know if I can find that in, like, mineral form.
Julia (as Val): I don't think so either.
Eric (as Hardbody): Shannon Red Wine is now wrapping up a whole section about sponsorships. And she says, "Alright. Well, if anyone has any questions, here is my email and I will definitely get back in touch with you. Great. Goodbye." And she just walks through the wall.
Julia (as Val): Can you stop doing that?
Eric (as Hardbody): It's the fastest way for me to be, stop impeding me.
Julia (as Val): The wall was impeding you.
Eric (as Hardbody): No, not anymore. I'm Hardbody with and H.
Brandon: What else would it be?
Julia (as Val): Val to the rest of the group, just like, "This is why you have to care about your community. Otherwise, people just make holes in your walls.|
Eric (as Hitomi): Hell yes. Okay. So I think, yeah, the students are signing up. Hitomi's like, "So how're-- Is this, like, you say that there's going to be a field trip, and then a bunch of people are going to show up and we'll just figure it out later or?"
Julia (as Val): I mean, I am going to ask the academic advisor and then if she says, No, then all I'm going to do is just bring these teams there anyway.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, for sure.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. Do you know her? Does she like you?
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, I mean, we've only talked on email. I've never met her in person, but I'm sure we can, like, find her.
Julia (as Val): Okay, well, you can help me convince with them.
Eric (as Hitomi): Cool.
Julia (as Val): She didn't show up to the-- the meeting?
Eric: Miss Devi? No.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Hitomi also tells you that there was like a– there's a friend of authorial advisor who is also, like, in a-- an adjunct professor who works on, like, plants and stuff, because he can make plants grow out of his body.
Julia: That's cool as fuck.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: And when someone says that to him, he said, It's not called science. It sucks. So and then Ms. Devi is the administrator who Kathleen Devi, you saw at the gala.
Julia: Right.
Eric: Can you make a charisma check for me?
Julia: Sure. Do I get to add my fame to it?
Eric: Yes, actually.
Julia: Cool, then it's a dirty 20.
Eric: Cool, cool, cool. Okay. Yeah, I think a lot of the students are kind of just like milling around afterwards. And a bunch of them just pees. A lot of them sign up, but also a lot of them take Shannon Red Wine's card, Hardbody's card, one of the students then hops on the ground, and then, like, a little skateboard of earth comes out. And he just kind of rides that out.
Brandon: Badass.
Julia (as Val): You're very cool.
Eric (as College Student): I know. Bye.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, Hitomi was like, "Yeah, I guess we can try to find Ms. Devi. I know where to find her office.
Julia (as Val): Sure. Sounds good to me.
Eric (as Hitomi): Cool.
Eric: I think they poke-- you guys poke around, you kind of walk through a few hallways.
Amanda: It's like a cute date where you point out to Hitomi, like, all the sights from your college years.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, she walked you on a few hallways and gets to Miss Devi's office. And it's like, Kathleen Devi, Coordinator of, like, extracurricular activities for the Student Union, and the doors closed and the lights are off.
Julia: I knock anyway.
Eric: Sure, nothing happens.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Why don't you make a perception check for me?
Julia: Not my specialty,. but we'll try.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: It's a 9.
Eric: Yeah, no one responded, because there's nobody in there.
Julia: Is there like a secretary for the office or something like that? That might be currently working?
Eric (as Desk Clerk): Yeah, I think there's someone who has, like, a high pony sitting at a very large desk, who says, "Please, I would really appreciate it if you didn't melt my desk."
Julia (as Val): Absolutely. Would you be able to help me by telling me where Miss Devi is at the moment?
Eric (as Desk Clerk): Oh, yeah. We just had a baby shower for Kathleen. I'm sorry that you missed it. She's gonna have the baby any day now. If you want to, like, contribute money to it. We haven't sent the card. We haven't sent her, like, a card or like a-- for Diaper Genie or whatever that is.
Julia: Val just guiltily slips a $20 bill in there.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia (as Val): Who is covering her academic advising or who is covering her student extracurricular advising in that time period?
Eric (as Desk Clerk): She might be doing stuff remotely, but I'm-- she might be still doing that. But you know, it's kind of just the professor's kind of take up the-- take up the mantle there.
Julia (as Val): Okay, cool. Thank you. I appreciate your time.
Eric (as Desk Clerk): Sure. Do you have her email? Do you need that?
Julia (as Val): Oh, yeah, that would be great. Thank you.
Eric (as Desk Clerk): Cool.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, she gives you, Hitomi's like, "Oh, yeah, that's the one I have."
Julia (as Val): Cool.
Eric: And.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I mean, let me see if I can track this science man down.
Eric: Yeah. He's just, like, in a biology lab and Hitomi walks in. Be like, "Hey, Dave."
Eric (as Dave): Yeah, that's fine. Whatever it is. Fine. I sign off. It's fine.
Amanda: Oh no.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Thanks, Dave.
Eric (as Dave): I don't know you are. Stop it.
Julia (as Val): Your plants look very scientific.
Eric (as Dave): It sucks. I hate it.
Julia (as Val): I just said scientific I didn't say cool.
Eric (as Dave): I'm just saying it sucks. And you see that, like, he's examining, like, spiky roses that are coming out of his forearm.
Brandon: I love Dave.
Julia (as Val): Alright. Cool, Dave.
Eric (as Dave): I get paid so little for this.
Amanda: So relatable.
Julia (as Val): Alright. Well, then our field trip is a go. Dave said it's cool.
Eric (as Hitomi): Okay. Yeah, no, it's fine.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Hitomi): Cool.
Julia (as Val): You met Kathleen. Devi didn't you? At the thing?
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): At the gala?
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, that's right. I had met --I, yeah.
Julia (as Val): This is a weird fucking question, was she visibly pregnant when you met her?
[Dice rolls]
Eric (as Hitomi): No, what?
Julia (as Val): Okay, maybe we should go find her.
Eric (as Hitomi): Sure.
Julia (as Val): Now I'm concerned.
Eric (as Hitomi): Wait, hold on. Wait a second.
Eric: And Hitomi goes on her phone and looks through like kind of like just like the-- the SUNY LTC website.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric: Flips through, it says looking for Kathleen Devi. It brings up, like, on the website, the photo, Kathleen Devi's in her late 30s. Has like very short hair that is graying, and it does say underneath that she's out for maternity leave. And she is also an Indian woman. But like, the person at the gala and the person on this website are not the same.
Julia (as Val): Hmm. Interesting. I think I turned to Hitomi and I'm like, "Do you remember the information for the other person that you met at the gala? Was it Robin Garcia?"
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, I mean, I can text him. He gave me– he gave me his phone number.
Julia (as Val): Cool.
Eric (as Hitomi): He's also like, doing, like, community stuff out in Weston so I can-- I can look him up and ask him about-- ask him about her.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, if he's doing some community service, maybe we can bring the teens to do some community service and somebody would fucking asking me for jobs.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, I mean, we can figure it out. What do you want to ask Robin? I mean, Hitomi can just text him.
Julia: I want to ask him how well he knows the woman who was claiming to be Kathleen Devi at the gala.
Eric: Sure. There's a bunch of texting back and forth because Robin really wanted to know how Hitomi was doing. And but then Robin talked about his kids for a while and it was just, like, it took a while. But then Robin said.
Eric (as Robin): No, I met her at the same time you did. We met at the gala and then we all shelter in place. We all went to that diner together to wait it out.
Julia (as Val): Okay. Not helpful unfortunately. I think val is going to turn to Hitomi and be like, "I think maybe you should, like, email the woman that you've been talking to who might be on maternity leave at the moment. And like, let her know that someone is claiming to be her."
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, no problem. I'll work on this.
Julia (as Val): Probably something that we should be doing.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, that's fine. This is so weird.
Julia (as Val): It's so weird.
Eric (as Hitomi): It is like-- it is like one of those true crime podcasts but it's not debt. It's fraud.
Julia (as Val): I've never listened to a true crime podcast in my life, so maybe?
Eric (as Hitomi): That's true. Well, a podcast is-- it comes from the word Ipod which and--
Brandon: Eric.
Julia: No, no, keep going. I want to know what it means.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Well, pod-- the pod in podcast comes from iPod.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Remember iPods?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: And cast is, like, you're casting it from the internet and that's where it comes from. I learned that Murph told me that.
Julia (as Val): Okay. Hitomi when you emailed this person the first time, did they remember that they had met you at the gala?
[Dice rolls]
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, they said I'm so happy you followed up with me. Let's-- I've actually we were organizing this stuff, but we need some contributors. We need some people to help. You know, like, I really hope she wasn't pregnant because, like, we got out of there-- we got out of there in a hurry. Like, we were-- we were like booking-- we were like booking it out of the gala once we realized that things were going-- we're going down. So, like, doing a lot of like, you know, we were, like, banging around corner. Like, running-- banging around corners and like.
Julia (as Val): Pregnant people can still do cardio, but yes, I understand your concern.
Eric (as Hitomi): I was just saying. Listen, my bird-- I don't have to get stronger because my bird bones are so light. But like, we were, like, running in there. And we were-- we were inside, like, we booked into that diner so...
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Hitomi): I don't --I don't know.
Julia (as Val): Okay. So my-- my chief thoughts here are maybe someone is hacking her email to correspond with you.
Eric: Sure.
Julia (as Val): Or-- or this was some sort-- or this is some sort of like there's two of her because I met people at that gala where there was multiples of them. And like this is the younger version of her or something.
Julia: (as Hitomi) Weird.
Julia (as Val): Weird.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, I guess that's just the thing. I should be expecting this more now.
Julia (as Val): Superhero shit. I know.
Eric (as Hitomi): Superhero shit. Yeah. No, I'll-- I'll look into this while you're, Hey, what are you doing coming up?
Julia (as Val): We're gonna go to the OTA to teach the kids about the history of Laketown city and superheroes.
Eric (as Hitomi): Nothing more than that?
Julia (as Val): I am bringing children to those offices. Certainly.
Eric (as Hitomi): I am making a partner you-said-you-wouldn't-keep-secrets-at-me face at you.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): That is true. I am also giving you plausible deniability in case the US government decides to bring actions against me and you are not an accomplice in this situation.
Eric (as Hitomi): Oh, I don't like that.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, me either.
Eric (as Hitomi): Okay. Love you.
Julia (as Val): I love you too.
Eric (as Hitomi): I plausibly maybe may or may not love you.
Julia (as Val): Okay well while you decide that, do you want to, like, maybe ask this person on maternity leave if you could, like, buy her some tea or something or meet her at a restaurant with food that she can eat? Not a --
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah.
Julia: -- sushi bar.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, no, I'll figure it out. Oh, because she's pregnant, right.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Hitomi): Because she's gonna have a baby. Yeah, no, I'll follow up on this. Don't worry.
Julia (as Val): Or maybe suggest a sushi bar and if she doesn't know she's pregnant, then...
Eric (as Hitomi): Oh, man, what if maybe I'll say we should go on a roller coaster together. And then that's how I fucking know.
Julia (as Val): Why don't you meet me at a bar and then we can get some coffee together?
Eric (as Hitomi): And then we'll perform some heavy machinery. Hell yeah.
Julia (as Val): Eat some-- eat some very raw young cheese.
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Eric: Hey, make a charisma check for me really quickly.
Julia: Of course. Do I also get to add fame?
Eric: No, not in this one.
Julia: Okay, well it's still a 19 because it's a 16 + 3.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: Not bad.
Eric: Wonderful.
Julia: Thank you dice
Eric: Hitomi is gonna follow up on this whole Kathleen Devi situation but you have your-- your.
Julia: I have my teens.
Eric: You have your teen. I think that it's the night before, now I think we're-- let's fast forward to the day before the heist.
Julia: It was the night before the heist.
Eric: And all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even ghost cat. Are you all, like, at a centralized location? Like, is this, like, we're getting all the stuff together? It's gonna be go time, you're gonna synchronize your watches. Like, where do you all meet up?
Julia (as Val): Are we all meeting up at Aggie's cabin?
Amanda (as Aggie): It is not safe any longer. My parents do live two doors down. Can't wait on me here anymore. No, no, thank you.
Brandon (as Milo): You can come to my place I guess but it's not really ready for– for people.
Julia (as Val): Do you guys just want to come to my place? Is this what's happening here?
Brandon (as Milo): No.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes.
Julia (as Val): Did you want to see the new apartment?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes.
Brandon (as Milo): I want to go on your new apartment. I heard that you make manicotti on Sundays so...
Julia (as Val): I make-- I make sauce and meatballs on Sundays.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, even better.
Eric: You've had to move that up by one day because the go time is on Sunday.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So you have to do it on Saturday. So yeah, I think that everyone is now-- everyone comes to Val's apartment. Hitomi is pouring everybody drinks. Lou has also shown up with a backpack that is so deep you can't see the bottom of it.
Julia (as Val): Excellent. Aggie, you can put your painting in there.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, I'm gonna roll it up. Yeah, I know it's, like, sacrilegious. But you know, I got to do it.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): While Lou walks in, Milo goes, MiLou!
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Lou): I need-- I need you to be less enthusiastic about being my friend.
Eric: Yeah, what are you all doing? How are you unwinding right before the Big Heist?
Julia: I think we're watching the oceans movies.
Eric: Hell, yeah.
Julia: All the CDs while we eat dinner.
Amanda: Yep, yep. Okay.
Brandon: Milo's drinking an alcoholic root beer.
Eric: Hell, yeah.
Julia: We're not serving alcohol to the teenage high schooler.
Amanda: That's true.
Julia: Sorry.
Eric (as Lou): Lou says. Yeah, I think you're watching it. Like, So what-- was George-- George Clooney has looked like this forever?
Julia (as Val): Yeah, pretty much since er.
Brandon (as Milo): I've always thought he had some kind of power. He doesn't-- he doesn't age.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, maybe he does.
Julia (as Val): Like Paul Rudd.
Brandon (as Milo): Yes.
Amanda (as Aggie): Or my parents.
Eric (as Lou): Weird? Are they from Laketown city?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Lou): Paul Rudd?
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
Julia (as Val): Paul Rudd is from Laketown city.
Amanda (as Aggie): He's from Westchester. I guess he could have been born here.
Julia (as Val): Could have been.
Eric: Paul Rudd now canonically went to Gaga. As the heist is kind of like at its peak if you're watching the original Ocean's 11 I think this is the part where Julia Roberts looks around and says, "I love you and it's a heist."
Julia: That's it.
Eric: Everyone loves that-- that moment. Val there's a knock at the door.
Julia: I look through the peephole to see who it is.
Eric: You don't see anyone.
Brandon (as Milo): Val, can you grab me another root beer while you're up?
Julia (as Val): No, everyone get away from the door for a hot second, please.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Julia (as Val): Cool. Once everyone is clear, I will open the door.
Amanda: Aggie's gonna stand slightly in front of Hitomi in case I have to do a shield situation.
Julia: Thank you.
Brandon: Same for Lou.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Make a dexterity check for me, Julia.
Julia: Sure. Can I bonus action go into a rage very quickly?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Alright. Cool. Just to be sure.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Oh, wow, that was really good. It's a dirty 20. 19 + 1.
Eric: Cool. How do you open the door?
Julia: I like, creak it open in case there is like, you know, a trap that's going to activate and see, like, if it goes off and then once it is open a little bit enough that my head can fit through, I poke my head out.
Eric: You crack the door open. And there's a very small package kind of sitting on your welcome mat. And there's a little note on it that says, "I'm being honest with you. Now I'm in it. Dad." And you open it up and there is a very small one-up mushroom inside.
Julia: So, he's now selling one-up mushrooms. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
[Julia screams]
[JTP Outro Theme Music]
Transcribed by: John Matthew Sarong
Edited by: Krizia Marrie Casil