The heist continues and everything is going according to plan I don’t know why you would assume otherwise it is all good and fine and orderly stop looking at me like that. Kilonova meets his fans. Multitool birdwatches. Vulcani finds worker solidarity.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: The heist of the OTA is on. Vulcani led with the envoy of college students distracting the super-powered guards, who you might know are Hardbody and the Sommelier and new idiot, Juddd Judddkins. Kilonova and Lou slipped in undetected using Transport via Plants and a Tree Giant. And Brandon, the player, remembered he still had Dr. Morrow's key card, which then led them in the elevator. While that was happening, Multitool hopped up onto the second floor and slid into a supply closet, where she found orientation packets with a map of the building and a coin with Tuna's face on it. But as she tried to sneak around the second floor, a massive Golden Eagle attacked. Still doing new cliffhangers even 48 episodes in. Let's get the party started.
[JTP Theme Music plays]
Eric: Hey, Amanda, I have a quick question for you.
Amanda: Uh, sure.
Eric: On any of the animal shows that you use as comfort television for you to soothe, you know, the whole thing of what's going on in the world.
Amanda: It's my whole thing, yeah.
Eric: It's your whole thing.
[Brandon snickers]
Eric: Have you ever seen a bird wearing glasses or a tie?
Amanda: No, I have to say that is a unique sight that I have conjured in my mindscape.
Eric: Okay, so that didn't show up on Discovery Channel's The Zoo?
Amanda: No, no, I've also never seen, like, a TikTok or anything from the POV of your a sheet shaped woman on the floor staring up at a eagle that appears to also be some kind of covert agent whom you attempted to grapple but failed at.
Eric: Interesting, interesting. You-- There's no Tiktok POV; this golden eagle is my manager and we're about to have a review?
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: There might be. There might be by now but at the time of recording, no there's none.
Eric: As of time we're recording this TikTok does not exist. Thank you for explaining what Multitool is currently up to at the moment. You are laid out in a sheet as a golden eagle, maybe even larger than a golden eagle. I think, like, hey, if you're the kind of person who knows the size of a golden eagle, it might be about 150% that size is the eagle. Eagle is wearing a little-- little.
Brandon: That's big.
Julia: It's an eagle.
Eric: It is big. It's a big eagle. They're wearing horn rimmed glasses perched upon their little eagle-- eagle nose beak, and wearing a red manager tie. And after you've been slashed by big ol' eagle claws, the eagle says to you.
Eric (as Agent Golden Feather): Um, yeah, I don't think you're-- you have clearance to be up here. Unless you are a new hire who I haven't met yet, but I get emails telling me when people join up, so I don't think that I have missed you, so you must be an intruder. And as an agent, I must take you up.
Julia: Eric, I have a question.
[Eagle caws]
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Eric: Sorry. Yes, Julia.
Julia: My question is, you've mentioned that this eagle is wearing a manager's tie.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: How do we know that it's a manager's tie? Is it because of the, like, fanciness of the tie clip? Like, what's happening? Why is he wearing a tie clip if he's an eagle? There's nothing to clip the tie into. There's no shirt.
Eric: Interesting. Interesting. Yes, because of the tie clip, it designates a level of power because plebes can't afford a tie clip.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: And you only get that by having at least 2 to 2 1/2 hours of sensitivity in managerial training.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Okay, thank you for answering my question. I appreciate it.
Eric: Yes, I will say to the players and the audience, this is Agent Golden Feather. However, Aggie you do not know that.
Amanda: Yeah, um Aggie is just gonna play dead.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Just possum it.
Brandon: Just pretend that your fucking mat. Like a rug.
Amanda: Yeah, no. Multitool is just gonna stare up at the ceiling, not even at the eagle itself, mutely. And just wait for a beat.
Eric: Interesting. I'm now looking of ways--
Amanda: How to fight off an eagle attack?
Eric: How to fight off an eagle attack. Yeah.
Julia: Is it like a T-Rex where it forgets that you're there if you stop moving?
Eric: Here's very funny. I looked up a question on Quora. What should you do if you're attacked by a bald eagle? The first thing, this is from Larry Dixon whose "Worked with many bald eagles over the years."
Julia: Sure.
Eric: Says to be completely honest, the first thing I do is wonder what is wrong with this bird? You know what? Why don't you make an animal handling check? Or a nature check?
Amanda: The thing is I did get a 7. I rolled a seven on nature.
Brandon: That's bad.
Amanda: Do I know anything about eagles? I don't think I've ever come close to one in my job. I probably just, like, coexist with them in the forest.
Eric: Yeah, I think with a 7, I would say you didn't-- you missed the day when they did raptor handling at the New York State forestry. You went fishing that day.
Eric: Yeah. Okay.
Julia: It's a workshop.
Amanda: Well.
Eric: So, I think that if you're laying on the ground still, you hear.
Eric (as Agent Golden Feather): Um, hello. I don't know if this is something that I've missed, but during my time with humans, I can tell when they're paying attention to me when they are making eye contact. Now, for me, this is usually when I would snatch the soul out of a mouse or another prey at some point. But I've-- it just seems like you're not paying attention to me. Are you okay?
[Eagle caws]
Amanda: Aggie's gonna attempt to grapple him.
Eric: You're going to try to grapple again?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Alright. In rug form, you try to wrap him up?
Amanda: Still in sheet form. Yep.
Eric: Great.
Julia: Oh boy. Oh no. Aggie
Amanda: 17.
Eric: I got a 12. Yeah.
Amanda: Yes!
Eric: So what does it look like here?
Amanda: Like when you're snapping out a blanket or a sheet to, like, put onto your bed. You just like ploof it out in, like, hope that it covers the whole bed.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Yeah. So, Aggie is going to start rippling from all outside corners of the sheet.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: They all lift up and then floomped down in, like, a parachute in elementary school gym class.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: The middle poofs up and grabs the eagle out of the air.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I just smelled our elementary school gym. Is that weird?
Amanda: Yeah, yeah. Go raccoons.
Eric: Okay. What is your AC?
Amanda: My AC is 15.
Eric: Ok that is a 16 hit. Agent Golden Feather has a power. Oh, pronounce any pronouns. But again much like January.
Amanda: No god, no gender. Just--
Eric: Just people pronouns. Even when grappled, they can attack because they have such large claws.
Amanda: Sure, sure.
Eric: So, you take 18 points of slashing damage.
Amanda: Well, I do have stretching dodge, which means I get half damage from attackers I can see as a reaction because my body can stretch back to accommodate the attack.
Eric: Alright, nine points of slashing damage. Great.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: And I can assume you can see something you are truly wrapped around.
Amanda: I can. I can. That takes me up to 72 hit points.
Julia: Hey, what a great monk build.
Amanda: Thanks!
Eric (as Agent Golden Feather): So, still grappled but Golden Feather's slashing inside of you and says. Unhand me, I am a respected member of the Office of Technology Assessment and you cannot cage me like the, well, I'm not going to finish that because it's going to be just a meaning for me.
Amanda: So, Multitool learned this with her-- with her siblings when they were young that when you-- when you bundle up somebody who's acting out you do it so that Aggie's face is facing outwards because otherwise they can really, like, poke you in the eye or the mouth, or the nose or something.
Eric: Smart. Smart.
Amanda (as Aggie): So, her face is facing outward. And so, she says, "I'm not really sure how to handle this situation. I did not expect to run into anybody. I-- there is either something that I need to do and what I'm going to need from you is just to not interfere with me for the next, like, maybe half hour. And so, either we can, you know, stay here together as-- as I figure that out or, you know, I can, like, put you in a room or something. I'm-- I'm a little at odds to be honest and that's not a feeling I have very often." I mean, while I have Golden Feather grappled, I'm going to use my sheet construction move, which you can-- which you can find out in-- in capes jointhepartypod.com/merch. And I'm just gonna attempt to, like, lovingly swaddle him, by which I mean slightly constrict him and deal two times my martial arts die plus strength or dex, whatever is higher. So, that's D8 * 2.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: That's 13 damage, please.
Eric: Sure, yeah, you squish that bird up real good.
Amanda: I just-- I'll just gently-- just swaddling him. Like preparing a falcon for flight.
Eric (as Agent Golden Feather): The American government does not negotiate with terrorists.
Eric: As flapping wings wildly inside of you. Let's cut to our good friend Milo.
Brandon: Milo is in conversation with Lou just about how the American government often says they don't negotiate with terrorists, but then they do negotiate with terrorists frequently. And it's often to the detriment of the American people. For no reason he just thought about it.
Julia: Being inside a government building.
Brandon: Right.
Julia: That thing kinda like-- that thought comes up.
Amanda: It comes up.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah. Lou says, "Are you just, like, telling me something you saw on Reddit?"
Brandon (as Milo): Look, Lou. I talk when I'm nervous.
[Eric laughs]
Eric (as Lou): Like, we could just watch TikToks and just wait for this elevator to keep going down.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, could you show me how to-- how to do a TikTok or how to, like, how to tick and tock?
Eric (as Lou): Oh, God, no. I don't want to.
Julia: You can't force this child to make you hip, Milo. You just can't.
Eric (as Lou): It's-- Listen, if I was trying to put my thing onto you, that would be doing you a disservice. And also, I don't want to.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): That's fair. That's fair. We'll just-- we'll just stand in silence until we reach the level.
Eric (as Lou): Ah, yeah, this is going on for a while, huh?
Eric: Yeah, I will say this elevator has been going down for, like, a full minute at this point. Just to orient you a little bit, you will start at level one. And then there was B1 and B2, which I guess it quickly kind of passed by in regular-- at riding an elevator. One level, two levels went by after a few seconds. And then, like, for, like, a full minute, you just keep going down to HS; the last floor here. And eventually, the elevator slows and stops with, like, a quiet finality. And the voice inside of the elevator says, [in a computer generated voice] "Cassandra, welcome to HopScotch. Please show your ID card at the other side." And the doors open up. And as you and Lou step out, you are stepping out onto this kind of, like, shiny black lacquered floor. But you don't step out too far because the black lacquer-- the floor only goes a few feet forward as you're looking out into just kind of infinite darkness below. Except for, in kind of descending order, 10 feet in front of you, there is a what I can only describe as a large concrete cube. Kind of floating in the air in front of you. And then below that and farther away from that is another concrete cube, just kind of floating in the ether in the space down. And then again that repeats down and out another concrete cube and down and out another concrete cube and a final down and out concrete cube. There are five in total. And then below that is another black lacquered floor with another kind of elevator door with another key card scanner and a elevator button that only goes down.
Brandon: Okay, so almost like quazi stairs, but ominous stairs?
Eric: Yeah, it is a floating staircase, but they're not stairs in that it would be easy to walk down. You would have to jump or fly or do something to get from one to the other. You cannot just safely walk from one. I want to say that there just seems to be like the only light that is on is kind of just, like, I don't know, it's almost bioluminescent coming from the ceiling. So, it kind of just like a low glow in here. And also, each of the concrete cubes are kind of emitting its own little glow as well. I don't know if you've ever been inside of, like, a bioluminescent cave, but it's cavernous. Both from the nature of how big this room is, and also the yawning portal below these concrete slabs.
Brandon: Okay, Milo is going to, like you see in every movie, just, like, take a coin out of his pocket like a quarter or something.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: And just like, flick it, and try to hit the first concrete stone block square thing.
Eric: Sure. Hey, Brandon, can you roll to see if you have a quarter in your pocket. I'm just kidding. You don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. We're having-- we have fun here.
Brandon: That's right. I got a fuck you.
Eric: Oh, it's weird. You only have a hay penny in your pocket you big fucking nerd. You only have a Star Trek challenge coin in your pocket that you have at all times?
Julia: That feels correct.
Eric: That has Piccard's face on it. You want to flick it at the concrete cube or you just want to flick it into the yawning portal?
Brandon: I want to flick it at the concrete cube first. Okay, well there's no seconds but, like, I just want to see if I step on this cube am I gonna, like, be eaten by a concrete venus flytrap?
Eric: Sure, I will say, so what I said before, it is a far distance away which would be a little difficult to flick at. Why don’t you make an investigation check?
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And that is how you're testing it in that way.
Julia: It's very kind of you to not make Milo overhand throw this coin.
Eric: Yeah, I thought. Listen, man, sometimes you don't have to be fucking diegetic as a DM, you could just be holistic in that way.
Brandon: I got a 17 + 1 for 18.
Eric: Wonderful. As you flick the Picard challenge coin at the first large concrete.
Brandon: It's a goddamn quarter.
Eric: As you-- it also has-- it has Piccard's face on it which is weird.
Amanda: He would never imperil his challenge coin like that.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It is dense. It scratches off in the sound of pavement, of a coin hitting pavement. It goes ding ding ding and then just falls. And you listen for the sound of the coin hitting bottom and it doesn't come. But no, the concrete doesn't move. It doesn't vibrate where the coin hits the concrete. It doesn't, like, ripple out. It is just, like, it is emitting its own glow, but it seems to be just a very large concrete cube floating in front of you.
Brandon: Okay, okay.
Eric (as Lou): I think Lou looks over the side and says, I'm-- I need to do something very scientific. Can you just hold on one second? Hello [echoes]. Air voices reverberate through the cavern and down into the infinite nothingness below.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Lou): I just -- I had to do it for science.
Brandon (as Milo): Thanks. Hey, Lou.
Eric (as Lou): Huh?
Brandon (as Milo): Do you have anything that could get yourself over there easily? Or? How do you-- How are you? How are you doing?
Eric: Sure. I'm gonna say that Brandon this would be the chance here. The things that I have for Lou does not have anything that could safely and easily get them across. However, you do have that one item that's kind of floating around, so if you wanted Lou to have, let's say, a very good working Jetpack, you could. That would be something that is up to you, but currently I do not have anything other than being, like;
Eric (as Lou): I did pretty okay, running the mile. I guess I could just try to jump it.
Brandon: I think-- okay, I was trying to avoid doing two spells because I don't want to roll my thing twice but I think I'm just gonna cast Gaseous Form twice, once on myself and once on Lou.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And just kind of float over there.
Eric: Sounds good. Give me two rolls here.
Julia: At least you reset recently.
Brandon: Right. I'm-- I'm still at one.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: That's a 3.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Oh, Brandon.
Brandon: And that's a 7.
Julia: Oh, thank God.
Amanda: Phew, okay.
Eric: So what are you up to now?
Brandon: I'm up to 3.
Eric: Wonderful. Okay. What does it look like when you turn someone else into ghost vapor?
Brandon: You know how, like, if you get a thing of dry ice in the mail, and you just kind of put it in a glass and it's sort of, like, sublimates from a solid to gas. It kinda looks like that. Looks like they're almost melting, but not into liquid directly into gas.
Eric: I love that. Yeah, you skip a stage of matter. I love that. Here's the thing about Gaseous From, quite slow. You can only move 10 feet every round, which is six seconds.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: So, I guess you're just gonna fly through this infinite chasm?
Brandon: Yeah, it's gonna take a bit. We can be gaseous for an hour. But yeah, you're right. It does take six seconds to move 10 feet, which is actually pretty fast but...
Eric: yeah, so you and Lou are spirits flying through the air here. And I think you're-- you're pretty far flying here. I guess if you fly in a straight line, maybe you're above the second concrete cube. And that is when you see that the elevator is coming down to HS here.
Brandon: Behind us?
Eric: Behind you. Yeah, the one that you came out of. The elevators coming down.
Brandon: That's-- that's rarely good.
Eric: And as you float forward, B1, B2 are passed and the long second is clicking down as the elevator descends down to HS.
Brandon: Can we, like, sort of try to get some coverage by this block? You know what I'm saying?
Julia: Yeah, like, hide under the block, so you're not visible. Hopefully.
Brandon: Yeah, I don't think we'll be able to get there fully but, like, I do want to start moving that way.
Eric: Okay. Yeah. You're like, uh-oh what's coming? You're gonna try to hide behind the concrete block?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Cool. I think that as you float your way down as fast as you're 10 feet per action can go. And the doors open up and out steps one long leg cutting through a little black dress.
Eric (as The Sommelier): And the Sommelier says, "Well, no one has seen Doctor 'former mayor' Cassandra Morrow in months now, so I don't know how she ended up down here. Whoever is using this ID card I think it would be a good time for them to reveal themselves and talk to me so they don't get involved in something that they shouldn't get involved in.
Brandon: Hey, team. Do we trust the Sommelier or no?
Julia: No! Hell no, dawg.
Amanda: I trust her as far as we can pay her which is, like, up to an hour at a time.
Brandon: That's true.
Julia: And we aren't so lucky that she'll roll one on her rate card again so...
[Brandon laughs]
[Eric hums in agreement]
Brandon: Do you think she'll take a Picard challenge coin as payment?
Julia: Oh hell no, my guy. No.
Amanda: I'm sorry to say I don't think that's valuable to anyone apart from Milo.
Brandon: So, Milo's gonna rotate towards Lou and with one gaseous finger just go.
[Shushes sfx]
Brandon: But not-- not literally just for funsie.
Eric: No, it's CGI Gaseous Form finger and like,
Eric (as The Sommelier): "Well, I was giving you a chance to give yourself up. But now I guess I'll reveal that I was looking at the security cameras, and I do know who went into the elevator, so this would be your chance to reveal yourself before I kind of own your whole shit. So, I'm gonna count down from 5. 5."
Julia: Did you Pass without Trace?
Brandon: No.
Eric: While you snuck to the elevator, I rolled perception for everyone in the security room and everyone failed looking at the fireworks from that college student.
Julia: Love her.
Eric: Other than the Sommelier who noticed you on the security cameras and then saw Dr. Cassandra Morrow's ID card go down to HS.
Brandon: Okay.
[Brandon giggles]
Julia: We really didn't think this through, gang.
Brandon (as Milo): Milo's gonna reorder himself like a skywriter just right. Eat my ass and then start floating slightly the other way.
Eric (as The Sommelier): Interesting. Interesting. Okay.
[Amanda and Julia laugh]
Julia: Geez.
Eric (as The Sommelier): Fine.
Julia: Jesus Christ.
Brandon: I just wanted everyone to know on this call that I didn't mean that in a weird sexual way.
Julia: Well, now it is.
Brandon: I just had to make a parting joke.
Eric: The Sommelier is going to--
Brandon: See, here's the fun thing that you may not know Eric from not looking at the form. I have resistance to non-magical damage and advantage on strength, dexterity and constitution saving throws while in this form.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: As a gas? Wow.
Eric: That sounds great.
Brandon: I can pass through small holes, narrow openings, and even mere cracks.
Eric: That's an interesting thing. I'm gonna roll using the Sommelier's power. Give me a second.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: Cool. The Sommelier, obviously, because the Sommelier's power is pulling things out of her body. The Sommelier has a very deep cut V from the bodice of her little black dress, which she then plunges both hands into her chest and pulls out an oversized box vam and says, "Okay, I guess we're doing this," and turns it on as the wire, like, snakes out of the back and she keep pulling it out of her body, which is then attached to a small generator, so then it whirls to life.
[Whirring noises]
Brandon: And then gives us a speed boost to the other side?
Eric: I don't think that that's how that works. I would say that the air going faster would be disorienting and bad.
Brandon: Disorienting. Okay, it's not going to disperse me into like, like, it doesn't kill me. Right?
Eric: No, it wouldn't kill you.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Eric: No. So, I will say for air related things I think this would cancel this out, so please make a constitution check. Just regular please. It would impose disadvantage on air related things, so this would just be a straight up Constitutional.
Brandon: Gotcha. I got 9 + 1 for 10.
Eric: Wonderful. Lou rolled a 7. So yeah, both you and Lou are then blown severely off course. You are blown fast and far, all the way over to the left side of this cavern. Very far, far away from the concrete blocks and it's just still going. You can't, like-- the fan is still on. And now it's just like whirring and loud and be like,
Eric (as The Sommelier): "Again, it seems like you're in a bad position. I guess I could turn off this fan and we could talk but you said I should eat your ass. I don't think you know what you're doing. Why don't we just take a second and I can explain."
Brandon (as Milo): Well, now I'm in a cloud and I can't-- Okay, alright, alright, alright. Milo's going to sky write. "Turn fan off. LOL. Let's chat."
Eric: Are you lying?
Brandon: No, I've got nothing else to do and Lou can't do anything either so...
Eric: Alright, I'm gonna roll an insight check for the Sommelier if she thinks you're lying or not.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Alright. Well, she rolled a 2.
[Brandon cackles]
Eric (as The Sommelier): Alright, I want you to know I'm not fucking around here and I'm just-- I can pull a vacuum out of my-- out of my butt so you can eat my ass. I have a literal-- I'm literally working for the government. Don't fuck with me. The Sommelier turns the fan off. Fly to the first concrete slab and we'll talk. If not, you're going inside the vacuum.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, well Milo and Lou just start, like, floating towards but fuck the Sommelier. We're gonna go to the closest concrete block and then unturn into gas. You're going to try to vacuum up a solid person?
Eric: The Sommelier can see you, right? Like, I don't think you're-- You're not invisible, yeah? You're a misty cloud.
Brandon: Right, right. I just went, like, in the darkness or whatever, or I was thinking, the darkness, but I mean.
Amanda: I mean, you could just float if you're off course, right? If you're against the wall of the cavern, you could float back towards center and --
Brandon: Right. That's what I was thinking.
Amanda: -- then just like pop into person and be like, Oops, little early.
Brandon: Yeah, it might not be the closest concrete block, but like, we're going back towards the middle and then forward, and then we're just going to pop back into physical form when we hit the nearest block on that path.
Eric: Okay, if you want to go to the nearest one, you'd be on the third one. The Sommelier did say/ask for you to go to the first one. Are you going to do it anyway?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Make a deception check.
Brandon: Cool. Cool, cool. My best skill has a +0, baby
Julia: Oh, boy. Oh, buddy.
Brandon: Hey, Eric.
[Eric hums in question]
Brandon: How does a Natural 20 sound to you?
Julia: Fuck yeah, bro.
Amanda: Whoa!
Eric: Rude.
Amanda: Classic Brandon.
Eric: Rude. I think yeah, I think enough to get the two of you to have to skin, like, disperse yourselves amongst the bioluminescence. Yeah, and you-- you can end up on the third one.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, so we pop back into physical form. Milo says, "What's up?"
Eric (as The Sommelier): I need to be more aware of your ghost powers if you can fool me like that. That's on me. I underestimated you because you're a fucking boob.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): That's fair. That's part of my whole thing, being underestimated.
Eric (as Lou): And Lou is like, "Why did-- Why? What's happening? Who is that?"
Brandon (as Milo): If I-- if I let the Sommelier think that she's in control then we have an advantage.
Eric (as Lou): Oh okay.
Brandon (as Milo): It's a trick.
Eric (as Lou): Okay, yeah, no, let's do it. Ah, I'm just a regular high school girl here with Kilonova. I don't have any-- I'm not good at anything.
Brandon (as Milo): Nailed it.
Eric (as Lou): Ah!
Brandon (as Milo): Nailing it. Killing it.
Eric (as Lou): Killed it. Nice.
Eric (as The Sommelier): Sommelier just from the other side and says, "Oh, okay. So, thank you for stopping. What? What are you doing here?"
Brandon (as Milo): What are you doing here?
Eric (as The Sommelier): I work here. What are you doing here?
Brandon (as Milo): I also work here!
Eric (as The Sommelier): No, you don't.
Brandon (as Milo): Shit!
Eric (as The Sommelier): The Sommelier, like, again, reaches into her chest and pulls out a clipboard and says, "I have a list of everyone working here today. You're not on it."
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as The Sommelier): You're not Vulcani and a bunch of SUNY Laketown City students though. I should have seen that one coming. What are you doing here?
Brandon (as Milo): We're on official superhero business. Are you just, like, freelance security because, like, we'll just pay you better if you wanted to, like, turn around.
Eric: Make a persuasion check.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: I'm so nervous right now.
Brandon: I'm also gonna cast guidance. Only 14 total.
Eric (as The Sommelier): Okay. 14. I think the Sommelier says, "I don't think you can afford me now that this weird dark money that Dr. Former Mayor Cassandra Morrow was giving you is gone. I don't know what money you're going to be giving me.
Brandon (as Milo): Ah. Well, it seems like we're at a bit of an impasse here.
Eric (as The Sommelier): Yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): Can I-- would appealing to your sense of superhero-dom do anything for you? Or is that just past gone here for you?
Eric (as The Sommelier): Have you been paying attention to this podcast?
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): Well, you know, you and your-- your cool duo here, it would-- it would be terrible to have your do become an uno.
Eric (as The Sommelier): Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah. No, you can't appeal to my sense of superherodom. I think you're wading into something that you don't want. And your dad set you up for something that is a little over your head.
Brandon (as Milo): Well, tell me more and maybe I'll stop.
Eric (as The Sommelier): Oh, so your dad did set you up for something. Interesting. Got him.
Brandon (as Milo): No, I literally just said tell me more and I'll stop.
[Eric laughs]
Eric (as The Sommelier): So... So, you admit it? Your dad did set you up for something.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as The Sommelier): If you go and I know you're not supposed to be down here. And this would be very bad for you and for your dad if someone noticed it. Luckily, it's me with a flexible moral compass. And I'm letting you know if you keep going you're not gonna like what you see.
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, are you gonna try to stop us?
Eric (as The Sommelier): Is that a risk you're willing to take?
Brandon (as Milo): There's not much to risk if you-- if you ask me. Got him. Lou, I got him. Lou, I got him.
Julia: Oh my god. This is a great negotiation that's happening here that none of us could do anything about.
Brandon (as Milo): Look, are you gonna stop me or not because we're gonna keep going otherwise.
Eric (as The Sommelier): I will if you go.
Brandon (as Milo): Alright, I'm gonna cast Wall of Stone and put her in a cage.
Eric: Alright.
Brandon: I'm gonna make five non-magical walls of solid stone bring into existence around the Sommelier. 6 inches thick, 10 by 10.
Eric: Hell yeah. What does that? What does that look--
Amanda: Wall of stone.
Eric: What does that look like?
Brandon: It's a wall of stone but it's in flavor text in our universe. It's that tent circus-like motorcycle cage thing, but with spirits --
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: -- so they're just like a cage of spirits.
Eric: I like that. Yeah, they're-- the spirits are just zooming around her. Are they on motorcycles still?
Brandon: Yeah.
Garbled talking:
Julia: Hell yeah, dawg.
Brandon: It's like a-- What's the name of the motorcycle boy?
Eric: Evil Knievel?
Brandon: Nick Cage. Ghost Rider.
Eric: Oh, Ghost Rider, yeah.
Brandon: We're like Ghost Riders.
Julia: We went for two different things there, gang.
Eric: The motorcycle boy did not think you meant Nick Cage. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, this cage encircles the Sommelier and says, Oh, it's a strong choice. Okay, and she pulls, like, an arc welder out of her back and then just starts, like, trying to melt the cage as the spirits surround her. But you know, it's gonna take a while.
Brandon: I'm excited because each panel has an AC of 15 and 30 hit points per inch of thickness.
[Eric hums in agreement]
Brandon: So, 180 hit points.
Eric: Yeah, she's gonna work on it.
Brandon: Alright, bye. And I'm going to call upon Lou's magical jetpack here, that's science jetpack and let's-- let's just get to that site quickly.
Eric: Okay, do you want-- do you want Lou to have the Jetpack as your last item?
Brandon: Yeah, that's pretty badass.
Eric (as Lou): Cool. I yeah, I think Lou says, "I did like being a ghost, but I think let's-- let's do my thing for a second." As Lou like--
Brandon (as Milo): I'm down. Let's go.
Eric: Yeah, Lou-- In my head, Lou's always just, like, wearing a cool backpack and keeps pulling shit out of the backpack.
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Eric: But at this point, it's like a Jansport that has, like, her initials on it and she slaps the initials and then just, like, it just, like, turns into like a-- like a standard issue like the ideal jet pack you're envisioning in your head. And she scoops you up and holds you like a-- in a fireman carry as she just kind of [zooming sfx] over the concrete blocks.
Brandon: Now, Eric, I did forget to roll my Spirit Surge so...
[Eric hums in agreement]
Brandon: 17. Man, these dice are so hard to see. I'm terrified every time I roll them.
Eric: Okay, what do you got?
Brandon: Up to four.
Eric (as Lou): Okay, wonderful. Yeah, Lou zooms you over to the other side. I think you go to the elevator and, like, you just see flames and, like, sparks are just coming over from the other side of this cavernous room. And she goes, "Bad choice, man. Bad choice. You could have just paid me off, man. You could have just done that."
Brandon (as Milo): You said I couldn't afford it!
Eric (as Lou): You could have gotten money somehow.
Eric: I want to be pointed out, my D--. Your DM didn't say that. The Sommelier said that.
Brandon: That's fair. That's fair.
Eric: So yeah, you go over to the other side. It's another elevator similar there. It goes down with another key card.
Brandon: Swipe that card, baby.
Eric: Hell yeah. Once again, it says, "Welcome Dr. Cassandra Morrow," and it opens up and inside the levels now say, HS, which you now know is HopScotch then it's O1, O2, O3.
Brandon (as Milo): Lou you got any preference? Or should we just go one by one?
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, you can go-- we can go to the next one.
Brandon (as Milo): Let's go to one.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, let's-- let's unveil some government secrets.
Brandon (as Milo): Let's do it, baby and Milo presses O1.
[Midroll SFX pings]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. This has been a really wild week for us at Join the Party. I know, I usually talk about something else, which is great. But all of the listeners on Patreon and everywhere else, you're all incredible. I just wanted to take a second to say that. Welcome to the midroll. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Well, we all stepped it up for the Patreon. We got nearly 100 patrons in only a few days, and the number just keeps going up. Let me just give a quick recap of what is happening over on the Join the Party Patreon: patreon.com/jointhepartypod. We hit 500 patrons in, like, 10 hours so Join the Party will be going weekly starting right now. We also hit 550 patrons, so we're putting on Patron Party; a live free show just for patrons with games, live Q&A and more. This isn't a regular live show. This is gonna be real fun. We haven't scheduled that yet, so you can join up and be a part of it. Get ready. Patrons, look out for details in your inboxes as we chose to schedule that. If we hit 600 patrons, we're commissioning a giant comic book cover of all the PCs and NPCs of Campaign II. This will be a free digital download for patrons and available for everyone for purchase as a physical poster on our merch store. So, go to patreon.com/jointhepartypod, become a patron so you get that patron live show, get us to 600 or above, or tell someone to join up if you're already a patron. It's incredible. We also want to remind you that January Dice are out right now. It's in the merch store. Go check it out. The dice are beautiful, and we hope you really enjoy them. So, patreon.com/jointhepartypod, become a patron, go to the merch store: jointhepartypod.com/merch. And if you're a $10 patron, remember, you can get 10% off all merch. Make sure to check your emails for the link and password. I think you should also check out the other shows that are part of the Multitude collective. And if you like what me and Brandon and Amanda and Julia do, I think you'd really like Next Stop. Next Stop is an audio sitcom. The show explores the turbulent time of your mid to late 20s when everyone is changing around you, and you worry that you might not catch up. Across the 10 episodes for a season, Next Stop follows three roommates' trials through work, relationship, friendships, and more. They grow together as a unit no matter what life throws at them. This was written and created in the tradition of classic sitcoms, but Next Stop is solidly 21st century. Gives audiences something to laugh at without punching down. It was written by me, edited and directed by Brandon, executive produced by Amanda, and casted and assistant directed by Julia. Season one is out now, 10 episodes. Search for Next Stop in your podcast app, or go to nextstopshow.com We are sponsored this week by Munk Pack. Munk pack offers low sugar keto friendly bars, which are plant-based, gluten free, and non-GMO. They have a perfect snack for anyone who's trying to eat better, or cut back on sugar or in carbs without sacrificing taste. Snacks are kind of an ambiguous food group, you know? Like, it's not really a meal, but sometimes you just want to eat something without ruining your dinner which is going to be later than four o'clock time. You just need something to eat and you can reach for a Munk Pack and it's delicious. I really like the chocolate sea salts. It is exactly what reminds me of, like, the granola bars that my mom used to get me when I was in, like, middle school and she was still packing my lunch. So, you can get 20% off your first purchase of any Munk Pack product by visiting munkpack.com and entering our code [jointheparty] at checkout. Get started, just go to munkpack.com. That's M U N K P A C K.com and select any product then enter the code [jointheparty] at checkout to save 20% off your purchase. Munk Pack, snack it up. That's not their tagline, but what if it was? That'd pretty good. Munk Pack, keep it in your cheeks like a chipmunk. We are also sponsored by Athletic Greens. Every single winter, I'm surprised of how dark it gets so early in the day. In New York, it's not going to get darker before 5pm for, like, until next time it gets cold. But still, the sun sets at, like, five and I just want to go to sleep. Our environment affects us in all kinds of ways and lots of people take multivitamins or supplements to help make sure their bodies get all the nutrients that they need to stay healthy. Sometimes I just scream into the night and that doesn't work a lot of the time. If you do, it's important to choose one with high quality ingredients that your body can absorb, so check out Athletic Greens, which is a convenient way to get lots of supplements just in one scoop. Get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with the first purchase at athleticgreens.com/jointheparty. Again, that's athleticgreens.com/jointheparty. And finally, this podcast is sponsored by Better Help Online Therapy. Hey. I'm turning the chair around. Now I'm backwards and you can-- you can tell because my voice sounds a little different. We talk of BetterHelp a lot on the show and this month we're discussing some of the stigmas around mental health. For example, some people think you should wait until things are unbearable to go to therapy, but that isn't true. Therapy is a tool to utilize before things get worse. And it can help you avoid those lows and the opportunities where you can't go anywhere else, so you have to turn to, like, bone magic to try to change your things because you just don't want to be sad anymore and you want to get out of bed and you think that a witch with some bones is gonna do it. No, if you had therapy, you wouldn't have to turn to the bone witch in the first place. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't have to. And they don't have to see your room, which is, like, I don't want to show you my room even if you are my therapist. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you could be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours and it's really easy to switch therapists. Give it a try and see why 2 million people have used BetterHelp Online Therapy. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Join the Party listeners can get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/jointheparty. And now, back to the show. I wonder what's gonna happen. I'm sure it's gonna be good.
[Midroll SFX pings]
Eric: Let's pop over to Vulcani who is still standing at the front desk with Charlene. Now, Charlene in my head is now played by Nicole Byer but, like, Nicole Byer doing net-- like a network sitcom. So, Charlene is just like:
Eric (as Charlene): "I pay-- I paged agent Golden Feather but I'm not sure. I guess they're-- they're stuck in something. They don't usually do tours like this, so I don't know."
Julia (as Val): Maybe they're just not at the desk at the moment or something like that. You know what, what floor is their office on? Maybe I can go up there and I could see if I could bring them back down if you don't mind, you know, watching the kids for just, like, a second.
Eric (as Charlene): "Hmm, yeah, no, I think that's-- I think that's okay. Their-- their office is on level three. I can just scout scan you in, why don't you take--" And she types a little bit in the computer and prints out, like, a guest pass for you.
Julia (as Val): Thank you.
Eric (as Charlene): Like, alright, this will just let you go to level three but I think you can look up there. You can-- you can see their-- you can see their office.
Julia (as Val): Absolutely. Thank you so much. Charlene, you're a blessing and a wonder every-- every time I speak to you.
Eric (as Charlene): I very much appreciate that. If only-- If only my ex-husband thought that of me, am I right?.
Julia (as Val): He-- he is missing out.
Eric (as Charlene): He is!
Julia (as Val): We should get coffee sometime. Okay, I'm gonna go.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Charlene): That's fine.
Eric (as Juddd Judddkins): As you walk back to the elevator, Juddd Judddkins is now talking to all of the college students and says, "You know what, it is actually really-- it was, as long as you're able to display your power in a powerful way it's actually quite easy to get jobs like this. All you have to do you just walk in and say, 'Hey, I can shoot lasers out of my eyes.' And they're like, 'Oh, I love that.' And there you go."
Julia (as Val): Kids, I appreciate that you're learning a lot from Mr. Juddson? Was it Juddson?
Eric: Juddd Judddkins. Three Ds both times.
Julia (as Val): I appreciate that you guys are learning a lot from Mr. Judddkins here. I will be right back to begin our tour. Please don't go anywhere or disrupt anything.
Eric (as Juddd Judddkins): Don't worry, I'll take care of them and keep telling them my knowledge.
Julia (as Val): Excellent. Val, whispers to the closest child. Do not let anyone believe anything he says. Okay, alright I'll be right back.
Amanda: We're gonna have to do some, like, remedial career training and, like, you know, anti-education and unlearning when we get back.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: It's fine. It's fine.
Eric: Wonderful. Yeah. You step in, you scan the guest pass, it says, [in a computer generated voice] "Level three authorized." And as you go on up level three, as you step out, there's kind of like, you know, those little office signs pointing you in different directions. There's one towards the executive suites, there's the kitchen and there's also pointing towards the IT server room as well. If you go to the left, the executive suites are that way, to the right; kitchen, so more offices in the IT room if you so choose.
Julia: I'm gonna very quickly run over to that IT room.
Eric: Cool. You look around. Aggie is not here. You also don't see someone named agent Golden Feather. There's no one else up here. You'll go to the room that says IT. Door's locked.
Julia: I look for a key.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Is it-- is it like a keycard situation or is it like a legit key?
Eric: No, it's a-- it's a door with a lock on it.
Julia: Hmm. Is there like a little, like, folder thing outside the door that people would, like, put files in or something like that?
Eric: Sure. Make an investigation check.
Julia: Not good at investigation, but we'll see. Oh, I got a (16-1). 15.
Eric: 15. Yeah. There's a little, like, plastic shelf there that has a note, that attached to it says-- it says, "Jeff, um, stop losing the key. I've got a post-it on it."
Julia: Fuck yeah. Okay, great. I take that key and unlock the door.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: In the IT room it's kind of just like nasty and dank in there. There's, like, a few, like, servers in there. There's also, like, a desk that has some computers. There's also, like, a little mini fridge that smells real bad. And there's just like, there's just a lot of junk everywhere, too. You also see that there is a copy of SLAM comics on the desk laying out there.
Julia: Cool. I know what a server looks like, right?
Eric: Do you?
Julia: Probably. I feel like Val knows a little something about computers. I am dating a woman who is a coder.
Brandon: It's hard to live in 2020x and not know what a server, at least, vaguely looks like.
Eric: That's true. Well, sorry, I forgot one more thing. There's also a whiteboard where there is a March Madness style bracket that says, "Which superhero can kick which superhero's ass?" And there's-- there's just, like, a big March Madness bracket. There's cool supers, narc supers, bad people and question mark. The Supreme Emperor got farther than you think he would.
Julia: Where am I on that?
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Yeah, I need to know where Milo is too please.
Amanda: Yeah, Eric you just have to make this entire bracket, please.
Brandon: Yep.
Eric: Val got to the top four. They didn't finish it yet. Milo went out surprisingly early. And Aggie is also in the top four.
Brandon: But am I a narc? Is Aggie a cool-- whatever the list.
Eric: All three of you are in the cool supers edition.
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Brandon: Okay, great.
Amanda: Alright, guys, call the mission off. We're fine. We're fine.
Eric: Kilonova went up against the Knight of Mirrors in the first round and lost.
Brandon: Never do that. Yeah.
Amanda: Fair. Fair enough. Milo that's a defeat you can be proud of, you know?
Brandon: Yep.
Eric: I want to say I rolled a five for you, Brandon. I apologize.
Brandon: It's all good.
Eric: Make an arcana check in terms of tech.
Julia: 17 - 1. Great.
Eric: Great. 16. You do know what a server is also from your time with Hitomi and with Dr. Morrow, it's like a rack, you know, and there's just, like, a bunch of blinking lights and a lot of, like, kind of tech just kind of installed in there. There's a big red button. A bunch of wires, you know?
Julia: Oh, no, I want to press the big red button.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Oh, no. Okay, so what I would like to do is I would like to prepare an action.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Where I cast Burning Hands on the server and melt it.
Eric: Right.
Julia: If I don't like what happens when I press the big red button.
Eric: Okay, great.
Julia: Great. I'm gonna hit the big red button.
Eric: You hit the big red button? Yeah, the server's turned off. Everything in the room actually just turns off, the lights. Does it ever-- you're just in darkness now.
Julia: Beautiful.
Eric: It just, like, everything is off.
Julia: Val leaves.
Brandon: It's really just a bunch of nerds who thought it'd be fun to turn, like, the light panel switch into just a big red button.
Julia: You know what, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna hit that big red button and everything shuts off and then I'm going to just burn that panel so they can't turn it back on easily.
Eric: Hell yes. Burning Hands so yeah, you just-- what do you do? Do you start your fire powers up like you're starting, like, a campfire?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: No, I think that it's just the one hand starts vibrating and then you kind of, like, the air shimmers like you see in when you're, like, looking at a stove or something.
[Amanda and Eric hums in agreement]
Julia: And then Val just presses a hand there, melts it, good to go.
Amanda: Love it.
Julia: I'm gonna head towards the executive suites.
Eric: Your hand, like, butter-- like a hot knife through butter just slooshes through all this technology.
Amanda: Flashback: Episode 43, Hitomis is like, "Yeah, you de-iced my car with your hands. I know you never touched the scraper."
[Eric laughs]
Julia: Can't prove that.
Eric: It's just one hand print. Very funny. Yeah, you now go outside and all of the lights are off.
Julia: I'm going to head towards the executive suites.
Eric: You had the executive suites. Going the other way, you see that there-- there's a big office with, like, truly the corner office looking out on all of downtown LTC and it just says, Head of OTA, Indun Linkurs Mikvor, the door is 10-feet-tall. It's extra big for extra big CEO.
Julia: It's hot.
Eric: There's also a bathroom, and there is a office for Agent Golden Feather. Smaller office. It's on the corner, it doesn't have a good view. But uh, you know, there's still big windows that you can look into, kind of it's like that whole open plan thing, how, like, it's not really an office because I can see into it and instead of a chair, there's a very large bird perch --
Julia: Cool.
Eric: -- in there.
Julia: I love that for them.
Eric: Like, hanging down from the ceiling. It's almost like a trapeze. It's the size of a trapeze, but it's just like a bird perch.
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Eric: Just gotta hanging there, swinging.
Amanda: I'm so jealous.
Julia: So obviously, they're not there. Right?
[Eric hums in confirmation]
Julia: Cool. Do I want to take this moment to try to get up to the roof? Or do I want to try to go downstairs and find this person? I think at this point, Val is concerned about, like, where this person might be. And it might just be easier to, like, get them out of that area if they think someone might be in there investigating. So, I think Val is going to go downstairs.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Yes, I know the elevators are probably not operating at this moment.
Eric: No, you'd have to go down the stairs.
Julia: Cool. I take the stairs.
Eric: Cool. Hey, make a-- make a perception check for me.
Julia: I don't like that.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: I don't see anything.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: What do you got?
Julia: I don't see anything.
Eric: What do you get?
Julia: A one.
Eric: A one?
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: A one.
Eric: A natural one?
Julia: A natural one.
Amanda: Oh.
[Eric sharply exhales]
Eric: Interesting. Now, you don't-- you don't see anything.
Julia: Okay, then I don't see anything and that's fine. Nothing bad's gonna happen at all.
Eric: Yeah.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: You're looking around for the stairs and you're just kind of like looking around. I mean, it's not dark in there because it's still daytime and the windows are open but, like, you're looking around and, like, Was there something beeping and ringing when you left the IT room? You have this nagging feeling in the back of your head being like, was there an alarm in there?
Julia: I feel like my DM would have told me if there was a blinking light or an alarm in there.
Eric: That's true. That's true. But like, you get the feeling was there one in there?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: That's what you perceive. You-- you-- you think you hear something coming from the IT room.
Julia (as Val): Well, I-- I made a wrong turn. Oops. Uh-oh, I thought I hit a button that I thought was the bathroom and trying to find this-- this person who's also a bird. Alright, I'm going to go back downstairs via the stairs because I don't have the use of the elevators anymore.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: It's an emergency.
Eric: Maybe there was something in the IT room, maybe there wasn't. I don't know.
Julia: Maybe there wasn't. Who can say?
Eric: Who can say? Alright, let's-- let's pop back to our good friend Multitool. So, you're still wrapped up around Golden Feather.
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: And I think at one point all the lights go off on the floor.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: (as Golden Feather) And that's-- Golden Feather says, "Wow, the-- the back-up security is finally coming in. You do your worst to me, villain, but the United States Government plans for every eventuality. Who are you working for? Which evil organization are you aligned with? Tell me!"
[Eagle caws]
Amanda: So, I am going-- Oh what are you rolling over there?
Eric: I attacked you again. I attacked you and just slashed you. Take 12 points of slashing damage.
Amanda: Okay, I'm gonna roll damage again cuz because he's grappled, still.
Julia: Also take half cuz you can use your reaction, right?
Amanda: Yes. Yeah, what's-- what's the damage?
Eric: Oh, it's 12 slashing.
Amanda: Okay, so 12 divided by 6. Yeah, divide it by half. That's 66 points of damage.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: I am--
Eric: You're gonna smoosh the eagle again?
Amanda: Yeah, so it's a 17 to hit. Oh, sorry. No, that's a 22 to hit.
Eric: Yeah, that hits.
Amanda: Alright. 7 points damage.
Eric: (as Golden Feather) Ah, how dare you squish me.
Amanda: Way to insult an injury. And then I would like to, like, eject Eagle. And like, send him kind of tumbling or flying or otherwise inelegantly, like poofing, you know, into a cubicle or down the hallway or, like, into a trash can or something funny like that, and then slip back out the window that I came in.
Eric: Absolutely. Let's do it. Okay, so I'm going to do a strength check.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It's gonna be a contest. What would you like to do?
Amanda: I want to shove that eagle under a desk so it takes him a minute to get out of it.
Eric: Okay, so you want to use dexterity to do that?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Okay, let's roll.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I did get a Nat 20 to shove the eagle under a desk.
Eric: I got a Nat 20 as well. Holy shit!
[Julia gasps]
Amanda: What do we do?
Julia: What?
Amanda: What do we do?
Eric: Let's roll again. Let's roll again.
Brandon: Holy shit.
Julia: What's happening?
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I got an 8.
Eric: You got an 8 total?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, I got a 10. Oh, you're like-- you're trying to toss the eagle out?
Amanda: Yeah. Does it stick to me?
Eric: No, the eagle-- he escapes.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Or the eagle tumbles out and then flaps their powerful wings and regains their standing perch on top of the cubicle.
Amanda: Can I try to slip under the door of the supply closet?
Eric: Yeah, I think so that's one if you want to try to stealth away, stealth away. I do have an advantage on perception checks and I have a +4.
Julia: Because of your eagle eye!
Eric: Because I'm an eagle. I have an eagle eye.
Amanda: I mean.
Eric: Just like Mr. Brightside.
Amanda: Can he outrun me though? Like, I'm gonna attempt to just, like, move as fast as I possibly can out the window?
Eric: Do you want to stealth away or do you just want to fucking book it?
Amanda: No, I just want to get out.
Eric: Okay, how do you do that?
Amanda: I'm going to yell, Oh no. And then as the piece of paper like-- like sifting on the wind slip under the door of the supply closet and then up out the window that I came in.
Eric: Let's do another dexterity check to see if I catch you.
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Eric: You have advantage because you slipped under the door.
Amanda: Okay.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 19.
Eric: After you release the eagle, the-- Agent Golden Feather perches on top of the cubicle and then you go oh no, and slide under the door and you want to go out the window?
Amanda: I do.
Eric: And as you do that, you hear [eagles shrieks].
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: The eagle slams into the door following you.
Amanda: Oh my god. I'm really sorry everybody. I love birds. I love eagles.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: As you slip out the window you hear behind you, he's like, "Boss, what happened to you?" And Vulcani as you come down the stairs and open the door to level two, you see Juddd Judddkins standing over the Golden Eagle trying to arrange feathers be like,
Eric (as Juddd Judddkins): Boss, what happened to you? Who did this to you?
Julia (as Val): Mr. Judddkins, did you hurt that majestic eagle?
Eric (as Juddd Judddkins): No. Did you hurt this majestic eagle?
Julia (as Val): I just got here.
Eric (as Juddd Judddkins): Golden Feather! Boss, who did this to you?
Eric (as Golden Feather): And on the ground the eagle says, "It was a stretchy lady. A villain of some sort. Who is working for...? I don't know. The Russians, probably.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Julia (as Val): So, we have to put out an EPB or whatever the fuck they called for a Russian villain. Got it. I will let the people know.
Eric (as Golden Feather): They took out the lights as well. Judddkins, get the lights on as soon as possible.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, Judddkins, get the lights on as soon as possible.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Juddd Judddkins): Okay, boss, I'll do it. It's fine. I'll go. Are you okay?
Eric (as Golden Feather): It's fine. Go turn it. Turn it back. Turn the lights back on. Judddkins, stop checking on me. I'm fine!
[Eagle caws]
Julia (as Val): Agent Golden Feather. My name is Vulcani. It's nice to meet you. I have an urgent quest for you, sir. You need to empower some teenagers.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Make a persuasion check with advantage.
Julia: Oh, fuck yeah, bro. I rolled an 18 and a 19 + 3.
Eric: Oh my god.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Golden Feather from the ground, kind of, like, looks up at you and adjusts his glasses with a big wing and says;
Eric (as Golden Feather): Just give me a moment to preen. I'll be down in a moment.
Julia (as Val): Okay, alright. Is there anything else I can get for you besides this group of young adults?
Eric (as Golden Feather): Watch out for the stretchy villain.
Julia (as Val): Right, the Russian-- the thick Russian accent, right?
Eric (as Golden Feather): Could be working with anyone, could be working with Gutenberg, could be working with the Russians, could be working with the Mars people. Anyone.
Julia (as Val): I-- you know what, I thought I did hear a very thick Russian accented voice when I was coming down onto this floor, so-- so I will let people know that that is something specifically to look out for. And if they don't have a Russian accent, then that's probably not the person you're looking for.
Eric (as Golden Feather): I can't say for sure, but I trust your instincts. Can you tell the powered folk in the security room about this?
Julia (as Val): Absolutely. I can. Yes.
Eric (as Golden Feather): Thank you. Well, I need to-- I have to find a snack. I need to get-- get my blood sugar back up.
[Eagle caws]
Eric: As the golden eagle flies past you, back up to level three to go to the mini fridge in their office to eat a snack.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Nice.
Julia: I feel like I did a lot there without having done anything and I am happy about that.
Amanda: Eric, as I slide out the window because I'm in sheet form, I want to use my Sail Away power.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Which lets me use-- which lets me use Step of the Wind to gain a flying speed equal to my speed till the end of my turn, and fly to the roof.
Julia: The roof.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright.
Julia: I want to see what's on the roof.
Eric: Yeah, you fly up to the roof. I like the idea you're just caught on the wind --
Amanda: Exactly.
Eric: -- and sail up there.
Brandon: It's beautiful.
Eric: Wonderful.
Amanda: Like, so many plastic bags.
Eric: Wonderful. How many key points do you have left?
Amanda: I had 4. These are two of my last four.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah. You fly up to the roof and I think that as you, like, kind of gracefully American Beauty plastic bag your way.
Amanda: Oh, I can be inelegantly tumbling. Like, whatever.
Eric: Oh yeah, you're just like, tumbling-- it's like you're tumbling forward on the air.
Amanda: I yelled at what's under door of a supply closet and out a window, so I think I'm just at best, like, tumbling upward.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Incredible. You, like, fly towards the roof and I think you feel yourself like going through a barrier. Like, it's like you're walking from one room to another. Like you're going inside all of a sudden as you cross over.
Amanda: Like, the energy, the pressure, it feels different in a way.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like, you know, you're outside and all of a sudden you go into, like, an air conditioned room and you feel the temperature is different. Like, it is becoming room temperature. And yeah, you kind of just, like, float onto the roof and lay out like a beach towel. You look around and you see that there are two things on the roof. One, kind of looks like coin operated binoculars.
[Amanda hums]
Eric: And you been, like, at an overlook, or do the Statue of Liberty or something and kind of, like, you see this one kind of perched right on the corner. So, you can-- that's facing out towards all of Laketown city. It seems to also be raised like a few feet, so you can kind of look around everywhere. It's not just, like, facing just one way.
[Amanda hums]
Eric: And the other thing that's up there is kind of, like, a large box that has, like, little slots in it. It smells, like, almost sweet to you but I don't think that's the thing you noticed because hovering above it is 3-feet-tall. A giant Bumblebee with a crown on top.
Brandon: It's Beyonce.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): And it turns towards you and says, "Oh, I got terribly lost. Can you let me down?" And you hear that in your mind?
Brandon: What the fuck?
Amanda: In my mind you say?
[Eric hums in agreement]
Amanda: Is this like a regular bee but very big?
Eric: It is a regular bee. It is three feet large.
[Amanda hums]
Eric: Tip to tail.
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: With a big crown.
Amanda: Oh yeah. Oh, yeah.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): And it says, "I was-- I was looking around and they were showing me the building. And I got all turned around and I'm all by myself. Can you help me?"
Amanda: Can I roll insight on this person?
Eric: Sure. Well, it's a bee. It's not a person.
[Brandon laughs]
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Oh my god. A 6.
Eric: 6.
Julia: Girl.
Amanda: I know. Someone help me. Exorcize these dice.
Eric: Hey, scary to see a big bee on the roof.
Amanda: Yeah, I mean it could have been--
Eric: That can talk to your brain.
Amanda: Uh-huh. Does it feel like they're trying to trick me?
Eric: I can't tell you that.
Amanda: You can't say? Yeah.
Eric: You're more. I would say you're freaked out there's a big --
Amanda: I'm quite freaked out.
Eric: -- bee on the roof wearing a crown.
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Brandon: I gotta say, I don't think the roof matters. It's-- if you see a big bee that's telepathic anywhere. It's gonna be scary.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. Big bee on roof.
Amanda: And is that-- is that a hive? A hive box?
Eric: It is. It's a hive box.
Amanda: How are the bees behaving toward this big bee? Because I trust a bee.
Eric: What bees?
Amanda: In the box, or is the box empty?
Eric: Box is empty.
Amanda: Oh, that's even worse. Okay.
Brandon: Oh, this poor bee.
Julia: She-- if she's a queen, where's her hive?
Amanda: Yeah, um.
Eric: But you're not thinking about any of that. You're like, "Oh, there's a big bee on the roof.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It says you're a six.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. I immediately think again, like, "Oh, can you hear my thoughts?"
Eric (as Big bumblebee): Yes, I can.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): Please help me.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm sorry then for how I first reacted. It's been a heck of a few minutes for me. How can I help you? What-- are you able to fly?
Eric: Amanda, I'm gonna say with your six unfortunately I would not say that you are this calm and collected.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: With a 6 insight, your insight is "Holy shit, there's a big bee up here!"
Amanda (as Aggie): What? What do I do? What would you like me to do?
Eric (as Big bumblebee): Help me. Can you– you just bring me downstairs, please.
Amanda (as Aggie): I can't get into the building.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): How did you get up here? I can't get out. We're staying in the visitor suites. I don't remember what floor it is. I'm just so turned around. I can't do anything for myself. I just rely on the kindness of strangers and my hive. I can't-- I have nothing without my hive.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, do-- How-- Can you get in? Like, did you got in via the roof?
Eric (as Big bumblebee): I tried but it's locked, also I don't have hands because I'm a bee.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, um.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): And I can't do anything for myself, people open doors for me.
Amanda: Yeah, um, Aggie's gonna pop over to the door. There's a door, right? Like, leading off to the roof.
Eric: Yeah, there's a door leading--- leading down.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna try the handle.
Eric: Yeah, it's locked.
Amanda: Does Aggie have the presence of mind to say, "Please hold, let me survey the situation to bee."?
Eric: Make a constitution check for me.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Chad coming through. That's a 12.
Eric: Yeah, this bee is actually quite nice, so you're able to-- to take it in for a second. But it might-- you might. You're still bothered by the fact that there's a giant bee on this roof --
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: -- and the implications of that. And now you're thinking about, like, what does it mean for nature when there's giant bees?
[Amanda hums]
Eric: And if it's destabilizing everything and that's kind of formatting in your mind what this is.
Brandon: It means that nature's healing.
Eric: I don't know if that's what that means.
Julia: Is she gonna birth other giant bees? Like, what?
Amanda (as Aggie): Um, please hold. I'm gonna just survey the perimeter. See what our options are up here, okay?
Eric (as Big bumblebee): Okay, can I come with you?
Amanda (as Aggie): Sure and certainly. Yeah.
Eric: Okay. The giant queen bee buzzes next to you and it's like standing next to Vulcani. It's, like, the buzz is like-- is like vibrating you.
Amanda (as Aggie): Would you actually mind, could you see if you could just touch the door handle and, like, vibrate it open just with your whole--
Eric (as Big bumblebee): I tried. I can't do --
Amanda (as Aggie): No you tried that.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): I can't do anything for myself.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, sure. Okay, alright. Yeah, one second. And I'm going to walk over to the binoculars.
Eric: The bee is following behind you.
Amanda: That's fine. It's not going to get less unnerving I think whether their vision --
Brandon: Bee-nooculars.
Amanda: Oh, there you go. Or is there any text on it? Is the, like, coin slot labeled?
Eric: Yeah, if you're looking at the binoculars, it says "Coin operated spy binoculars. Just put your coin in and you can look at whoever you want."
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Does it say, like, 25 cents? Does it have any kind of marking next to the coin slot?
Eric: No.
Amanda: Um, from one of my many pockets, I would like to pull a quarter and try it?
Brandon: And you pull out a Star Trek challenge coin?
Julia: Challenge coin? Huh?
Amanda: I would never imperil my challenge coin.
Eric: Yeah. You want to pull out a quarter?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You try to put the quarter in and it doesn't fit.
Amanda: Okay, then I will nod and from a different of my many pockets put in a Tuna coin.
Eric: Yeah. As you put the tuna coin in, you hear kind of word of life.
Amanda: I'm gonna lean down to look into it. What do I see?
Eric: It seems like the cap is still kind of on the front of them, but they-- it's there--. Luckily, there are instructions written on it. It says, "Say who you want to spy on, and-- and we'll-- well, you could spy on them."
Julia: Who wrote this copy?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: And then below that it says Copyright Moral Corp.
Julia: Course. Of course. Fucking of course.
Amanda: Can I just whisper Gutenberg?
Eric: Sure. Make a perception roll with disadvantage because there's a very loud buzzing behind you.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It's hard to concentrate.
Brandon: What's that from?
Amanda: I did get a natural 1.
Julia: Oh boy. Why do we keep doing this on perception rolls?
Amanda: Can I use my last luck point on this?
Eric: Use your last luck point.
Julia: Do it.
Eric: I wouldn't make you reroll one of them, but you have to choose the lower.
Amanda: Okay, so using my last lock point, I'm going to reroll the natural one giving me a 16, but then a 7. So, 7 + 6 is a 13.
Eric: 7 + 6. is 13. Okay, as you whisper Gutenberg, and then you hear:
Eric (as Big bumblebee): What are you doing? What are you looking at? Can I see? Can you make space for me as well? That's the bee.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm gonna make a little space. Little space.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): No, I don't want to. I'm just really alone and scared. And as you're trying to keep it away --
Brandon: 4-feet?
Eric (as Big bumblebee): 13. Yeah, but there without your hive, I'm clicky and I need help, bud.
Amanda (as Aggie): I am. I promise I'm helping you. I just have to check this.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): Okay. I'll wait.
[Bee buzzing]
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And as you're doing that, the cap flips up. And you're looking at Gutenberg who is...
Amanda: If you say sitting in a sauna, I'm going to cry.
[Brandon laughs]
[Ominous music begins]
Eric: No. No, no no. I think Gutenberg is sitting in probably his favorite place ever, which is a oak paneled study somewhere with, like, leather chairs, and, like, a big library with books that's never-- that's never been opened. He's standing there with Triplicate. And they're both sitting in these big overstuffed leather chairs, right? But both of them have kind of their hands up. And they both look like they're-- like they're in concentration. And Gutenberg saying, like:
Eric (as Gutenberg): Do I do it like this? How do I? How do we put it-- put together?
Eric (as Triplicate): Like no, no. You-- You're thinking it's more of an art. It's more of an art than Remember, you're putting something new together. It's not like pieces. It's like-- it's a-- it's all of it together. This isn't science, it's art, right?
Eric (as Gutenberg): And if you're like, "Alright, I guess maybe if I do it like-- like this?
Eric: And you see what they're working on is sitting on top of this, like, kinda, like, facing the wrong way on a big oaken desk. It seems like they're putting a person together.
[Amanda hums]
Eric: Made out of pixels and, like, you see, like, the person accidentally has, like, three eyes that are all too big and it gets wiped away and then there's like the ears are, like, comically too small.
Eric (as Triplicate): Be like no one looks like that. I wouldn't look like that even with surgery which I would never get because I'm perfect, says Triplicate.
Eric: And that and you see them doing that and, like, working on this together for, like, 10 seconds and then-- then the binocular flips off and says [in a computer generated voice] "Insert coin to continue watching."
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, and a file that away, turn around, and say, Okay your highness, let's get you inside.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): How are you going to do that?
Amanda (as Aggie): We'll figure it out, ma'am.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): Fine, but carry me.
Brandon: Oh my gosh.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): I can't fly on my own. You need to carry me.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, I'm gonna hold out my arms and-- and let the giant bee come cradle-- cradle her like a baby.
Eric: The bee flies into your arms.
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: And it's still buzzing like you left an electric toothbrush wrapped up in a towel.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You are carry-- you are carrying it back. You're holding that and but the door is still locked.
Brandon: She's soft.
Amanda: Can I try? I think she's very fuzzy, probably. Can I try pressing the thorax against the handle and see if I can rattle it with her vibration?
[Eric snorts]
Eric: Yeah, make an animal handling check.
Amanda: Okay.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: This is wild.
Amanda: Damn it! These dice are banished. 6.
Eric: 6.
Julia: Banish the dice, Amanda. Banish them.
Amanda: Alright, goodbye.
Eric: It doesn't-- it doesn't vibrate. It doesn't work.
Amanda: Can I just do a perception check on the roof? I am outdoors so I should get my Lay of the Land.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Just on if there's any ways inside that I'm not seeing. Okay, so I'll do advantage from Lay of the Land. Okay, that's a 16.
Eric: No, there is no other way to get in on the roof.
Brandon: Have you looked for a key?
Amanda: I've not looked for a key yet, Brandon. That's a good point.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Aggie has no way of knowing that this happened but --
Eric: True.
Amanda: -- Amanda, inspired by her colleague Julia, tries to look for a key.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Is there one above the door, under the door. Check the door.
Eric: Make an investigation.
Amanda: On a string.
Eric: Sure. Make an investigation check.
Julia: i've gotten much better looking for keys.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: It's a 22.
Eric: Yeah, resting on the top door is the key.
[Amanda cheers]
Julia: We did it!
Amanda: I'm gonna grab it, cradling the bee with one arm like a baby. Big, big baby and-- and open the door.
Eric: Wonderful. Yeah, you descend the stairs and you are once again back inside the Office of Technology Assessment, but this time holding a big bee.
Julia: I'm on the third floor with Golden Feather.
Amanda: Well, under the stairwell and I'm going to just keep going all the way down and attempt to go to B1.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Bee 1?
Amanda: Bee 1.
Julia: That was-- that was a good one, Brandon.
Brandon: Thanks.
Eric (as Big bumblebee): As you walk down the stairs and you pass level three, the Queen says, "Is that the sound of a Golden Eagle feasting upon 11 field mice? Do you hear that?
Amanda (as Aggie): Does that-- Does that strike you as worrisome?
Eric (as Big bumblebee): No, I'm too tired. Take me downstairs.
Brandon: We're all the bee.
Eric: You continue down the stairwell while holding the Queen Bee.
[JTP Theme Music plays]
Transcribed by: John Matthew Sarong