51. Join Hands VIII

We’re on the final level of the OTA. We know what we’re looking for. Let’s see what we find. Milo unboxes. Val bluffs. Aggie reflects. Eric brings pizza.


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Cast & Crew

- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Multitude: multitude.productions


About Us

Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.

Transcript

Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.

Eric: Multitool and Vulcani negotiated with the Sommelier, asking her to stand down in return for $30,000 of Vulcani's money, allowing the Sommelier to come to the final rumble with Gutenberg and an unnamed favor in future from Multitool. Kilonova and Lou poked around the Human+ Resources Department on Oubliette 2. Unfortunately for them, some employees left out a bunch of altered items touched with Delta radiation, allowing them to form into the mushroom horde and attack the intruders. Fortunately, Multitool and Vulcani burst in and the four of them were able to take that thing down. And now, we descend to the final level of the OTA, Oubliette 3. Let's get the party started.

[Join the Party theme music plays]

Eric: You know, I'm wondering if this elevator is a little confused why there are more than two people in it because somehow the party isn't split. Everyone's together now, so the elevators like, Who are these people? What's happening here?"

Brandon: Is the elevator sentient, like audience member aware of what happens in this podcast?

Eric: Hi, I'm the elevator. Whoa, I'm really enjoying the podcast so far.

Brandon: I gave you a 5-star rating on iTunes.

Julia: This is the first sentient creature you've created that doesn't immediately have an existential crisis, Eric, and I appreciate that.

Brandon: That's true.

Eric: Maybe it's just not talking about it. It's not comfortable with you yet.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: Yeah, so all four of you, the three members of the LTC and Lou, the smartest person in Laketown city, regardless of whatever you might be saying, are riding down in the elevator down to Oubliette 3.

Brandon: Eric, is there someone saying that Lou's not a smart person in Laketown city, because I'll take em'. I'll take them on.

Eric: Can you imagine how many people would say that Lou, as a teenage girl in high school, how many people are saying that she is not the smartest person in Laketown city. It's many. The number is many, Brandon.

Brandon: Line em' up. Line them up. Let's go.

Julia: You've been on the internet, Brandon. You know how it is.

Brandon: That's true.

Eric: Brandon, can you roll a D10 for me?

[Julia hums in disagreement]

Amanda: Dangerous.

Brandon: I got a 3, Eric.

Eric: Yeah. 30 people right now, like, are saying that they're smarter than Lou who live within the boundaries of Laketown city. And I shouldn't have said people, I meant men.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: Grown adult men.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: So, yeah, you're descending down to Oubliette 3. How's everyone doing? Is everyone enjoying themselves?

Julia: Killing, you know, things have gone pretty well for me as a whole.

Brandon: Cool, thanks. Thanks. Milo's good. Pretty much good. Except for the fact that he has a blind murderous rage going on in his brain.

Eric: Hmm. Interesting.

Julia (as Val): Do you want to talk about that?

Brandon (as Milo): No, I did not want to talk about that, Val.

Julia (as Val): Are you sure? Cuz', like, we talked to the Sommelier while we were upstairs.

Amanda (as Aggie): She was very reasonable. I certainly made a lot of strides.

Julia (as Val): Yeah. We, like, came to an agreement where everyone is gonna win in this situation, and it's excellent.

Brandon: You two have never seen the amount of white in Milo's eyes that you're seeing right now and uh.

Brandon (as Milo): What? Hey, what the fuck?

Julia (as Val): What do you mean what the fuck?

Brandon (as Milo): You-- The? The Sommelier, the person that tried to kill this young child here. No offense, Lou.

Eric (as Lou): Alright. There needs to be someone. I'm literally a part of this operation.

Julia (as Val): Yeah.

Eric (as Lou): I can't just beat-- I'm not like a toddler who wandered into this elevator right now.

Julia (as Val): Yeah, no, like, yes, she tried to endanger both yours and Lou's lives, but also, like, she has a lot of dirt on us and I would like to not be tracked by the government.

Amanda (as Aggie): And more immediately, she had us cornered and was about to turn us in or alert more security forces, so what we've done is ensure that none of our visit today will be on record with security cameras and that we also have an ally in taking down Gutenberg.

Brandon (as Milo): What ally? She tried to kill Lou. She's no ally. Look, most importantly, did your deal preclude me from killing the Sommelier?

Julia (as Val): I believe we told her that no harm would come to her.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.

Brandon (as Milo): Okay. Well, unfortunately, your deal is going to have to be made null and void once I get out of this room, but nice job, like, doing a double cross. Good job setting that up.

Julia (as Val): I mean, Milo, No, she has to make sure we're not on the cameras or anything like that.

Brandon (as Milo): Well, she'll do that and then I'll punch her a lot.

Julia (as Val): I mean, you can certainly try, little man. You can try and punch whoever you want here, but we'll see.

Brandon (as Milo): I'm feeling attacked right now when I'm trying to stick up for the people that tried to get killed by a wine expert.

Julia (as Val): Lou, just to clarify, you're fine, right?

Eric (as Lou): Oh, fine. I– Well, here's the thing. I'm of two minds here. My full body was pinned to destroy by a full refrigerator from 1954. They probably still ran on something that gives people cancer if you get, like, you take the milk out too many times.

[Brandon chuckles]

Julia (as Val): Uh-huh.

Eric (as Lou): But on the other hand, Kilonova did save me and I'm not destroyed so like, I theoretically, I do want to be avenged, but only if I'm, like, not there. Like, if I was dead for that to have happened.

Julia (as Val): May I-- may I ask a follow up question?

Eric (as Lou): Yeah, yeah.

Julia (as Val): Would you like to be avenged at the sake of us getting probably, like, you know, black hooded, taken away by the US government?

Eric (as Lou): This feels like a leading question, so I'm going to-- I'm going to abstain.

[Brandon chuckles]

Julia (as Val): Okay.

Eric (as Lou): I just, you know.

Brandon (as Milo): How do you feel about rough edge, Lou?

Eric (as Lou): That's so similar. Those two things they're, like, the same. They have the same root word. I am missing-- Milo, I appreciate what you're doing. I feel uncomfortable when people give me birthday presents. So like, I'm not going to tell you to-- to not avenge but, like, you don't have to. It's-- you don't have to do that.

Brandon (as Milo): Lou it has nothing to do with you anymore so...

Eric (as Lou): I could-- I could tell.

Brandon (as Milo): Here's the thing, why don't we just sit in silence until we hit Oubliette 3 and then we'll do the thing. Get out of here. And we'll talk about later. Okay? Deal. Great.

Brandon: And Milo crosses his arms.

Julia (as Val): That went well.

Amanda (as Aggie): As long as your one-person deal includes a clause that you won't kill the Sommelier until we have a chance to talk about it, that sounds good to me.

Eric (as Lou): You just, like, do it later. Like, who's just, like, you could, like.

Julia (as Val): Lou, no suggestions right now. Milo made a great idea that we just shut up and we sit here until we do our job so...

[Brandon chuckles]

Amanda (as Aggie): I have a time sensitive thing for us to look at which is.

Amanda: And then Multitool pulls out of a very long side pocket, the painting that Danny made. It's rolled up and she unrolls it.

Eric: Yeah, you unravel the painting, which is funny because it's, like, you're bringing a painting back into a heist. That is the tropes here, we're inverting the tropes. You unfurl the painting, where it looks like the aviator glasses, which is what you're looking for, on a pedestal with a single light hanging above it. Are you-- you're wondering if it's on this level that you're going to?

Amanda: So, what the painting does is tell me if the thing I'm looking for is on the floor that I'm on now, so I'm going to wait until the elevator clicks onto Oubliette 3 and then ask the painting if it's on this level.

Julia: Should we wait for the doors to open because maybe there's, like, multiple doors and this will tell us which door it is?

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: It is what rooms specifically it is not the floor, so that's a good-- that is a good point, Julia.

Amanda (as Aggie): Okay. Alright. Great, so this will give us a sense if the item we need is in the next room, so I will keep this at hand and let me know when you guys think it's a good time to use it.

Julia (as Val): Tight. I also got my glasses so I can, like, see into a room.

Amanda (as Aggie): If your glasses failed to help us find more glasses. I'll be uh, it'd be ironic.

Julia (as Val): Pretty disappointing, wouldn't it?

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, yeah.

Eric: It's a real– it's a real Scooby Doo situation like your glasses get knocked off and then you say oh my glasses.

Julia: I can't see without my glasses. Was that a good Velma impression, everyone?

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: It was a very good impression of Velma. You nailed it. Let me try. Let me try. Oh, my glasses! Was that good?

Julia: That was great.

Eric: Thank you.

Brandon: This is a really long elevator, huh?

Eric: They all are. They all are, Kilonova. They all are. Yeah, that is where the elevator finally docks slowly and says.

Eric: [in a robotic tone] Oubliette 3, Research and Development.

Eric (as Aggie): Why don't we start with that one?

Julia (as Val): We didn't know what they were called.

Amanda (as Aggie): I know.

Julia (as Val): We also-- also came down the thing so...

Amanda (as Aggie): I know

Eric: The doors open. And once again you are in front of something that Brandon you'll be familiar with. There is a met-- a very thick and strong metal door with, like, interlocking teeth, but it is in front of you instead of all the way down the hall like it was on Oubliette 1. This one is kind of, like, right in front. I don't know if you've ever been to, like, a building that has, like, an apartment, which is the entire floor of a building. It is so strange and disorienting. It's like you step out in the elevator and then all of a sudden you have to go into another door and, like, what was the point of this in the first place?

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: But it's, like, it's like there's only, like, a very small area for you to step out but in, like, the foyer or the courtyard, in front of this door. Next to it, there is a keycard panel for you to scan something with.

Julia: Cool.

Brandon (as Milo): Lou, you got this one? Should use Dr. Morrow's thing here?

Eric (as Lou): If you use that one, I think it will register as Juddd. As uh, Juddd Judddkins. 10 Ds, so you can uh, you can use that one.

Brandon (as Milo): I guess let's see if Juddd has access.

Brandon: And I swipe the card.

Eric: [in a robotic tone] Accessing Juddd Judddkins, Security, Eye beams.

Amanda: Oh, yeah.

Julia: Cool!

Eric: And then it seems that, like, the keycard panel is kind of, like, thinking for a second, and then, like, a speaker comes out of the wall, and then you hear the trilling of a phone.

Julia: Oh, I don't like that. I ducked to the side in case it's got video so they don't see my face.

Eric: It is not video. It is just a speaker.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: And then a camera comes out.

Julia: No!

[Eric chuckles]

Eric: Yeah, and then the trilling of a phone. After a few rings, you hear the sound of a phone getting picked up. You hear, like, cheering all around. There's some wind kind of whipping behind you. And then you hear.

Eric (as Director Winters): [speaking over the phone] Mr. Juddd. Sounds. I can't hear you over the what, bounciest pie eating contest happening behind me. This is Director Winters Vicvor.

[crowd cheers]

Eric (as Director Winters): What are you doing down in the research and development level?

Julia: Okay. I have a +3 to performance. Should I just fucking go for this?

Amanda: Yes.

Julia: Someone give me a help action to make, like, static noises in the background. I don't know.

Brandon: I'm gonna cast guidance on you.

Julia: Great.

Amanda: Yeah. And I'll um, I'll give the help action if I can and just kind of, like, blow wind over the mouthpiece of the phone.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Lou is also going to be like.

Eric (as Lou): He seems like a real dick.

[Amanda laughs]

Julia: No, I remember Juddd.

Eric: Cool, so you get guidance and you'll also get advantage.

Julia: I'm, like, putting on my Juddd impression.

Julia (as Val): [impersonating Juddd] Director, the security and power to the building went down and, you know, I'm always on top of this kind of stuff because this is my job, so I figured I would go down to the-- the Oubliettes and make sure that there's a uh, visual pat down. You know, have visual access to make sure everything's on the up and up.

Eric: And Lou mouths to you.

Eric (as Lou): Say something bad about women.

Julia (as Val): And you know, those– those two freelance women? You know, I understand why you had to-- why you had to hire them, but I just didn't think that they were up to the task.

Eric: I love freelance women.

Brandon: Can't have another 911 here on our hands.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: I'm not saying that.

Eric: Have you heard that jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams? Incredible. All right. Yeah. Give me a roll, Julia.

Julia: Great.

Eric: You have uh.

Julia: And I'm rolling performance, right? Not deception?

Eric: Uh, yeah, yeah that was a performance.

Julia: Okay.

[dice clanks]

Julia: Thank God I had uh, so I rolled a natural one, but I also rolled a 15 and now I'm going to roll my guidance, so it's an 18.

Eric: Okay, 18 total.

Brandon: Dear god, I can't believe you rolled a Nat 1 on that.

Eric: It's a good thing Aggie was making static noises that really pushed you over the head. Alright. Alright, so here is what is going to happen. I'm gonna roll an insight check for Director Winters Vicvor, so there's a moment of static and the director says.

Eric (as Director Winters): Well, I don't necessarily appreciate the comments about women you consistently have and we've talked to you about this, but I guess that's fine. That's fine. I will give you remote access. Please let me know if anything happens and I can recall people from the field.

Julia (as Val): [impersonating Juddd] Yes, director. I'm sure I can handle it, though. It's uh, it's totally fine. I got my eyes on the prize if you know what I mean.

Brandon: I am a man after all.

Eric (as Director Winters): That sounds satisfactory to me. Please keep me posted.

[cheering fades]

Eric: And the speaker pulls away and the doors open.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, good job.

Brandon: Good job, Julia.

Julia: I did it!

Brandon: I'm telling you that. Milo is still silent and grumpy.

Julia: That's fine.

[Amanda chuckles]

Eric: You walk inside and this again, a very, another very large room. This is-- this the size of the entire office. This is just all one big room. You can't really make much of anything out because everything, every single surface is covered with cardboard boxes.

Amanda: No!

Eric: It's just boxes and boxes and boxes piled into– in various configurations. Some there's, like, a big pile in a pyramid in the corner. There are some tables and chairs and there are various sizes of cardboard boxes everywhere. Boxes, boxes, boxes. It's not even the same cardboard. It's like some of them are, like, you know, when you pack and when you're moving and you go to the grocery store and pick up, like, the thing that food is packed in. Some of them are, like, in like a grid-- like something that came from grapes. And another one is, like, used to be, like, a carrying beer and one was pretzels. And then some of them are just, like, from literally say FedEx on them, but just boxes and boxes and boxes. It is piled high and cardboard as far as the eye can see, in like a massive, massive room. Like, pretty much the size of a gymnasium. Something you do see over on the left is, there is a, what looks to be like a bank vault. A very large door with a very, very large, like, turn the whole thing with your entire body lock, something that, like, someone will put their ear to and whistle and be like, mmmh they really shout out the big bucks for the good lady. And they're referring to the-- to the lock as it is.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: Here is how this is going to work. I rolled an insight for the director.

Julia: Uh-oh.

Eric: I have a clock here. And a clock just means, like, it's like a pizza pie. It has different uh, certain number of segments. And you can fill in those segments to demonstrate, like, until an event happens, right? I have created a clock here based on if the director thinks something is up. And there are a certain number of segments. Every time you want to look for something, you can use an action, and it will fill up one of these segments. When you roll, if you roll on the dice, an 18, 19, or a 20, the segment will not fill in.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: It is up to you about what exactly it is that you're looking for. You can use either investigation or perception checks. Perception checks are going to be looking for something while investigation is looking for, like, information or, like, zooming in on it. You can also-- you can use spells or whatever to enhance these things.

[Brandon hums in agreement]

Eric: I can also tell you how long some stuff happens. Lou is not going to count. Lou can just kind of, like, help you guys and give one of you advantage or can, like, use her big brain to help you do something.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: There's also plenty of stuff in here, I guess, to give you a little bit of context. The boxes are filled with stuff, so you can look for things that is not just the uh, the sunglasses the-- or the MacGuffin itself. There's also information is some, you know, some of these boxes that you kind of paw through. There are, like, papers and documents and, like, manila envelopes and binders and stuff. So, if you're looking for information, you can also look for that. You can also examine the bank vault, if you would like to, but examining it will take an action.

Julia (as Val): Okay. So, Aggie, I don't want your painting to not get used, should we bring you up to, like, the vault door and see if it's beyond the vault, and if it's not, don't even bother with the vaults just get the item that we came for?

Amanda (as Aggie): That's what I was thinking.

Julia: Okay.

Brandon (as Milo): Smart. I can get into the vault, if we decide that that is what we need to do.

Julia (as Val): Right.

Amanda (as Aggie): Cool.

Julia: That's great. I love that. Can you also get out of the vault with an item or?

Brandon: I assume when for in the vault, I can open the door, because if you're inside the vault, can't you, like, open the door from the inside? Otherwise, wouldn't that be crazy? I don't know. I don't know how vaults work.

Eric: I mean, can-- I don't know if there's, like, a ghost proof measure. I think the assumption is that either the doors open or the doors closed, but I mean, maybe, maybe not. I don't know.

Amanda: Let's see if we need to fuck with the safe first.

Julia: Yes.

Amanda: I think if everyone's cool with that, I'll start there.

Julia: Yeah, let's do that. And then that can inform the direction that the rest of us is going.

Amanda: Cool. I think without even really pausing or looking around that much, Multitool is going to stride to the back of the space and pull the painting out in front of the bank vault.

Eric: Great. Please make an insight check for me.

Julia: Is the painting lying to you?

Amanda: That's a dirty 20.

Eric: It's a dirty 20. What do you get on the dice?

Amanda: 18 +2.

Eric: 18. Alright, that does not take a segment. Congratulations.

[Amanda and Julia cheers]

Eric: You've already nailed that dirty 20. So, you pulled the painting out and did Danny give you any instructions on how to use the painting?

Amanda: He sure didn't, so I'm going to unroll the painting, kind of hold it up in my hands like a dinner plate that I'm trying to, like, that we're serving platter that's too big for me. And then I go.

Amanda (as Aggie): Um, excuse me is uh, is the item which I seek, these sunglasses herein depicted inside this uh, this vault?

Julia: Thank you.

Amanda (as Aggie): Anno Domini. Thank you. Amen.

[Brandon laughs]

Brandon: And you do the sign of the cross.

Eric: In Excelsis Deo.

Amanda: In Excelsis Deo. Thank you and then I make eye contact with Val.

Julia (as Val): Val just kind of shrugs like, "Eh, it probably works."

Amanda (as Aggie): Well, worth a try.

Eric: A chorus comes out and starts singing joyful, joyful, Lord.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: So yeah, you hold the painting up and I think you are trying to, like, feel what Danny feels. Like, what-- what is pulling you-- what are the-- what is a whirlpool of time? How is it pushing you towards your destination? And I think that you– you realize that there, the sunglasses are not in the bank vault. However, you are feeling pulled towards what's in the bank vault. The current of time is pushing you. You're not, like, paddling this boat. You are not doing this, the tide itself is pushing you towards what's ever inside of this bank vault.

Amanda: I try the handle.

Eric: Yeah, the handle is firmly locked.

Amanda: Shit. I think after trying the handle I kind of, like, shake myself out of my trance and I say.

Amanda (as Aggie): I think the glasses aren't here but I know something is, so I want to get in there.

[Brandon hums]

Brandon (as Milo): Well, I'm here to find the glasses, so I'm gonna look I guess.

Julia (as Val): Sure. I have good sleight of hand and also a criminal background. Can I try to open the Bank Vault?

Eric: Yeah, with sleight of hand? Yeah, absolutely.

Julia: Sure. Why the fuck not, right?

Eric: Sure.

Julia: I don't know. Can I get, like, a help action or something? Or?

Amanda: I definitely this is what I want to do, so I'm happy to dedicate my energy to helping here.

Brandon: Julia, I want you to know that I want to help you, Brandon, as a player, as a teammate, but Milo is not in the teammate mood right now.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Val just turns to Milo be like.

Julia (as Val): Help me with this.

Brandon: He's already looking at uhh.

Julia (as Val): It seems important, Milo.

Brandon (as Milo): I'm looking for the glasses. Why are we here if we're not looking for the glasses?

Julia (as Val): I don't know. Aggie's being pulled by, like, St. Anthony to find a missing item and now I feel compelled to help.

Brandon (as Milo): Well, St. Anthony doesn't exist. It's all Anubis. I'm gonna keep looking into these boxes. And Milo turns around.

Julia (as Val): There's, like, literal historical evidence of St. Anthony. I don't care what you say Milo.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric (as Lou): Was St. Anthony a band that got famous on TikTok?

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Aggie): Lou please help Milo. Keep him out of trouble.

Eric (as Lou): Okay.

Julia: Oh boy.

Eric (as Lou): Milo, let's go-- let's go look for some stuff.

Brandon (as Milo): Cool.

Amanda: Aggie's gonna lay her ear to the door Julia and that'll be, like, the form of my-- of my help action of trying to be, like, Do I sense anything?

Eric: Great.

Julia: Like, expand your ear real big?

Brandon: That's smart. I love that.

Eric: I love that.

Amanda: Yes.

Julia: I have a +5 to sleight a hand. Let's see how this goes.

Eric: Yeah, with advantage, let's go.

[dice clanks]

Julia: I rolled a 13 twice so it's an 18.

Eric: Okay, with an 18, you cannot safe crack this thing. I will say though as you get your hands all over this thing and, like, but I just-- the Scooby Doo-esque nature of you two pushed against this thing. Once you get a little bit of distance from it and you're not face to, like, your face is not directly on the bank vault, you see that there is a little coin slot right in the middle of the bank vault.

Julia: I put my tuna coin in there.

Eric: Hell yes.

Amanda: Hey!

Eric: You-- you slot the tuna coin. You can hear it as it rolls and it goes.

Eric: [in Tuna's voice] Open sesame.

Eric: As you hear the coin just roll in and bounce. Like, there seems to be some sort of, like, arcade machine style, like, loop de loop inside as you hear the coin rattle through. And then you hear a click and--

Brandon: And the alarm goes off!

Eric: Yeah, yeah, right.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: You hear a very satisfying click. And the door creaks open.

Julia (as Val): We did it. At least one fucking ghost helped me.

Brandon: You hear from the other side of the room.

Brandon (as Milo): Do you call muddy ghosts? What are you talking about?

Eric: Why don't you just put a regular nickel in the bank vault? Is that, like, a trick you've learned from?-- fom Little Italy? Is that in a mob movie I haven't seen?

Julia: Yeah, you tie a nickel to a piece of thread and you put it in and you pull it back out.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: Is that how you don't leave bruises when you beat someone? I just whip them with a nickel. Incredible. All of that together that would count for one piece so that's one piece put in the pie.

Amanda: Eric, can you just-- just for, like, clarity just like the podcast um, can you just say, like, one bite of the pizza pie?

Julia: It's a pizza pie!

[Amanda stutters]

Amanda: Can you describe it that way?

Eric: One slice of the pizza pie

Amanda: Pizza pie.

Eric: While that's happening, Brandon, would you like to be doing something? Do you want to look around for something?

Brandon: Yes, I would like to do a couple of things here if you allow me. One, Tuna has advantage on perception checks that rely on smell, so I want to have --

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: -- Tuna look around. I assume Lou will be looking around and then I would like to cast Detect Magic and just sort of like, get a vibe from I know it's just gonna be like, everything is glitterful.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Glittery. But I want to sort of get a vibe of, like, the schools of magic. So like if one is, I don't know what the.

Julia: Investigation magic.

Brandon: Investigation the magic.

Eric: Yeah, that's fine. First, I want you to roll on your spirit surge.

[dice clanks]

Brandon: That is an 11. We are good.

Eric: Great. I will give you advantage on a perception check for you to look around on stuff. I will say, I will give you an extra bonus. I'm looking for something particularly stinky, but I don't think that smells will help you, necessarily here, but I will honor that you are using Tuna to help you. Lou is also going to help you as well, so I'll give you an extra bonus because I can't give you a triple advantage.

Brandon: Cool.

Julia: Triple advantage. Triple advantage.

Eric: Yeah, so maybe-- why don't you make a roll for perception for me because you're looking for something? And you're looking for the sunglasses, correct?

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Alright.

Brandon: 16 + 9 is 25. Plus whatever bonus.

Amanda: Thanks.

Eric: That's right.

Brandon: I have a good perception.

Eric: I forgot that your perception is so good. Oh, holy shit.

Julia: Perceptive motherfucker.

Eric: Yeah, I'll give you an extra 5. I'll bring that up to 30.

Brandon: That's the height. Hey guys. Hey guys, shut up everyone. That's the highest I've ever rolled ever.

Amanda: Yay.

Julia: I'm so proud of you.

Eric: That is a 30--

Amanda: Wait, if we're negotiating here, uh, Hi, Eric, Welcome to Dragon's Den. The superior Canadian version of shark tank.

Eric: Why do we have a Canadian version of shark tank?

Amanda: Follow me. Follow me.

Julia: Because it's more d&d focused. Come on.

Amanda: It's more, not even Julia. You're two steps ahead of me, because it's nicer um.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Can we trade Brandon's +5 to his final result for a +2 to the base roll, so we don't trigger a pizza pie?

Eric: No, no.

Julia: Okay.

Amanda: That's very Canadian of you.

Brandon: I liked that negotiation, though. That was smart.

Julia: Can you apologize like a Canadian would for saying no.

Eric: Oh, I'm sorry, but I just can't make it happen.

Julia: Okay, great. Thank you.

Amanda: Alright.

Eric: No, I'm giving you the numbers towards the roll, but not towards taking the pizza pie away.

Amanda: Okay.

Eric: That is two pieces of pizza pie, but that is a 30. I will say that there is a number of, like, collective perception checks we are looking for, for finding the sunglasses.

Brandon: Okay.

Eric: But for individual rolls you-- you-- you might find something neat as you do it. For example, as you're digging around with a 30, you kind of make your way to a big pyramid of cardboard boxes that it's kind of, like, stacked up in the corner and you're looking around and you're pushing through. And you see that there is a um, there is a ring kind of just, like, jammed in the bottom of one of these cardboard boxes. And it seems to be lying on top of a dossier. The ring is made out of iron, but each is an individual strands of almost, like, string are being, like, braided together in terms of this ring with this kind of like almost, like, a mobius strip. Like an eight twisting on itself around this, like, pretty chunky, ring.

Brandon: Cool, cool ring.

Eric: It's also lying on top of a dossier that says this is the Infinity ring.

Amanda: Oh, that's me very wide eyes.

Julia: Like Gremlin. Gremlin, I just want it.

Brandon: Oh my-- my mind went straight to Mario Kart 8 where I get to use infinity bonus items.

Eric: Yeah, you actually-- it's sponsored by Mercedes, so you get to ride around your Mercedes, whatever you want. Yeah, if you read the dossier, it seems like someone found this ring in the bow of a massive oak tree that is kind of, like, at the end of a forest that burned down. The forest seemed to have fairies inside of it, which is why they were investigating it. And it seemed like there was a power plant, kind of went up and lit the forest on fire. And that's what the– the Infinity Ring-Ring gives you good luck. And it seems to be the last. The only thing to sort of suggestion that there was maybe there were fairies here. Maybe they weren't. Who knows? Mechanically, I'll say the Infinity Ring, when you roll an 8 on the dice for D20s, you automatically hit or succeed as if you just hit the AC or the DC of whatever you're doing.

Julia: This is the perfect Brandon item.

Amanda: Yeah, it really is

Brandon: Sick. That's cool as fuck, I want it but Milo is no fool. He's seen Lord of the Rings. He is going to take one of the pieces of paper from the dossier and, like, make a makeshift envelope, put it in the envelope, and then put it in his pocket.

Eric: Cool. Wonderful.

Amanda: Love to see it.

Julia: Should take the whole folder because we want the blackmail on the OTA.

Brandon: Yeah, I'll take the folder too, but that I'm less scared of.

Julia: Fair.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.

Brandon: No ring race coming for me, baby.

[Julia cheers]

Eric: Incredible. So yeah, that is happening while you two are figuring out the thing with the bank vault. Now here's what happens when the bank vault opens.

Amanda: I do just want to say that before the door swings open, like, as soon as Aggie kind of hears the click of the lock. Um, I'm just gonna throw my arms around Val and give them a quick hug.

Julia (as Val): Thank you? This was very nice.

Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you. Sorry, that's weird.

Julia (as Val): For what?

Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry, just thanks. Just thanks for believing in me. I don't know. It's stupid. Goodbye.

Julia: Val starts to cry.

Amanda: Yeah, great.

[Everyone laughs]

Julia (as Val): Why would I not believe in my friends? Of course, I would believe in my friends. It's like tears of fire.

Amanda (as Aggie): Shut up. Sorry.

Eric: Oh, incredible. I think both of you are kind of, like, standing outside of the bank vault as it just kind of swings out on its own. I think we see a comic book panel from inside of the bank vault as we, like, see it open.

[ominous music plays]

Eric: And we see your faces, like, waiting for whatever's inside. And there's only one thing inside of this bank vault. With like, the halogen lights kind of just, like, beating down on the dank concrete that you've seen everywhere, especially in the basement of the OTA especially, especially in the Oubliette of the OTA. It seems like this will be securing lots of stuff. But again, there's only one thing in this room. It is over on the other side of the room. It is a full size mirror with a stand and it props itself up. It's like, tall and rectangular. You know, like when you see a tarnished mirror and, like, as an antique, you know, like, sometimes it's a little warped in our heads. Like those weird splotches over it, so it feels-- seems like it hasn't been cleaned in quite a lot.

Amanda: Like leaded glass or something.

Eric: Yeah, like it's leaded glass. Yeah. And the outside, you see that it's rimmed with gold. Inside of the mirror though, you don't see yourselves. You're looking into a mechanical workshop, or, or an office of some sort. And there is a woman with red hair, who has her hair up, but you can't really see a lot of it because there is a big hat. A big circular hat, which is covering the majority of it. She seems to be leaning over something and wearing a white lab coat over an army green jacket and suit pants.

Amanda: Multitool takes a couple steps closer.

Eric: Would you like to spend a pie here trying to figure out what's happening?

Amanda: Definitely. There's no-- there's no question in my mind.

Eric: Alright, roll a D20 for me.

Amanda: That's a 9.

Eric: Okay, that's fine. That was just for the pizza pie. Three pieces of pizza. You two step inside, and you can get closer. And as you step into the bank vault, there's nothing really in here. It's like surprisingly echo-ey. Anything that the woman in the lab looks up and well Aggie, you're looking at yourself.

[Midroll SFX pings]

Eric: Hey, it's Eric. I want to give a shout out to all of my iced coffee stands out there regardless of what the weather is like, it's cold, it's rainy, it's snowy, you still get the iced coffee. I am one of you. You are-- we are all one, we're together as a people. I love iced coffee and I love drinking it no matter what time of the year it is. Hot tip, put maple syrup in as your sweetener to your iced coffee, will change your life. Welcome to the midroll. See, my coffee is right here. First and foremost, welcome to our newest patrons over at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. We are so happy that you are here. Keep on coming in. We are still driving to our goal of 600 patrons. If we can get to 600, we will be able to release the giant comic book cover of all the PCs and NPCs for Campaign II. We are commissioning it, we know who's going to do it, it's going to be great. This will also be a free digital download for all patrons and available to all of you no matter what your status is to purchase as a physical poster in our merch store. So, go to patreon.com/jointhepartypod, become a patron, or tell someone to join up if you already are, let's get to 600! I also want to say that there are phone wallpapers from Human+ Resources in the Join the Party merch store. This is exactly the posters that I made for the players to show what was going on in Human+ Resources in the last episode, and I think you would like that if you want to, you know, make your phone background a little spookier and make sure that you're not running into any, you know, weird time stuff. Also, January Dice, go to jointhepartypod.com/merch and pick that stuff up. Remember, if you're a $10 patron, you can always get 10% off all merch. Look in your emails for the link and password to that super secret store. I also think you should check out the other shows that are part of the Multitude Collective, and I think you'd like The Newest Olympian. Is Percy Jackson the YA series we should have been reading all along? Join Mike Schubert, first time PJO reader on his quest to find out in The Newest Olympian. Each week, Mike chats with a longtime Percy Jackson fan to cover a part of the series. They'll recap the plot beat by beat, dive into the Greek mythology of the story and sing the praises of Percy's snark. Are you a PJO fan? Are you reading it just for the first time? Well, it's gonna be here for both of you. New episodes are every Monday. Search for The Newest Olympian in your podcast app, or go to thenewestolympian.com to start listening. I am very very excited to read an ad for my favorite software. That is Notion people! People always ask me how I put together my notes for Join the Party. I used to just kind of write it in a formless document, but I finally got organized with Notion. Notion is an all-in-one team collaboration tool that combines note taking, document sharing, wikis, project management, and so much more in one space that's simple, powerful, and beautifully designed. I think the best thing about this, especially if you're doing notes for a creative project of any kind. Everything is very modular. It's like imagine you're slotting little blocks in to your document, but that makes it really easy to insert, like, lists of stuff or screenshots or photos or links so that it's all kind of in the same document but they don't mess around with each other like you would if you were putting it just into a general text document. Notion allows you to slot all that stuff in and keeps all my organization together because DMing is pulling from, like, 10 different places that all have different formatting styles. I could talk about this forever, but I need you to go learn more and get started for free at notion.so. That's notion.so to help you take the first step towards a more organized, happier team or, you know, creative project today. We're also sponsored by Athletic Greens. I'm surprised every single winter how dark it gets so early, and how sleepy I get immediately. It turns out I'm like a plant which is probably, like, why Amanda likes me in that I am a plant and I like the sun. Our environment affects us in all kinds of ways and lots of people take multivitamins or supplements to help make their bodies get all the nutrients they need to stay healthy. If you take supplements and multivitamins, it's important to choose one with high quality ingredients that your body can easily absorb because you might also be a plant and that's why Amanda also likes you. To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/jointheparty. Again, athleticgreens.com/jointheparty to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. And finally, this podcast is sponsored by Better Help Online Therapy. Relationships take a lot of work, a lot of us will drop anything to go help someone we care about, like someone or maybe one of your friends has gotten really into bone magic lately. And they've been living in the woods by themselves for a long time, and they think they're a therapist. I would drop anything to run into the woods and go help my friend out who is dealing with all this bone magic and has been calling themselves the bone witch. We'll go out of our way to treat other people well and, you know, fight skeletons and fight, like, the giant bone monster that is defending her house, but how often do we give ourselves the same treatment? Would you run to the woods for yourself? You should, but you don't have to run into the deep scary woods, you can just use Better Help. This month, Better Help Online Therapy wants to remind you to take care of your more-- most important relationship, the one you have with yourself. Better Help Online Therapy offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to you and you have to go anywhere in person. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. And, you know, you can exchange that person because finding a good therapist is harder than finding a good partner and I don't know what that says about life and the way that things are structured. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used Better Help Online Therapy. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help and Join the Party listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's B E T T E R H E L P.com/jointheparty. And now, back to the show.

[midroll sfx pings]

Amanda (as Aggie): Who-- who are you?

Eric (as Aggie): Who-- Where did you get my face?

[Brandon chuckles]

Amanda (as Aggie): Aggie, Danny, Aaron.

Eric (as Aggie): Cassie, Regan, Ryan, Kelly, Kelly, Quinn? Why? This isn't a mirror. This isn't a mirror at all.

Eric: Amanda, you're looking at yourself here. And you don't necessarily know who this is. There is a person who looks like you who is on the other side of this mirror who has a big hat that seems to have a blade that's going all the way around it.

Amanda: Sounds fun.

Eric: And wear-- wearing a white lab coat that says Dr. MM on it. You also don't recognize this lab or this workshop where everything is immaculately put together. It's like right angles on right angles, things inside of containers on shelving. Just everywhere. It is, like, is nearly picturesque, not a thing is out of place in here. And this person looked exactly like you. She takes a step and then another step towards the mirror and says.

Eric (as Aggie): I didn't see anyone. This mirror-- I've seen-- I've had this mirror for months. Where did you come from? What is this?

Amanda (as Aggie): I'm in the safe in the basement of a government building. What-- what does it normally show? This the first time I'm seeing it and you were just right there.

Eric (as Aggie): I think-- Hold on, before let's-- before we get ahead of anything, can you just? Who are you? Why do you look like me?

Amanda (as Aggie): I'm Margaret Mary O'Hare and I'm Multitool.

Eric (as Aggie): I'm Margaret Mary O'Hare and I'm Preserver.

Eric: And she takes another step and another step towards the mirror.

Amanda (as Aggie): Don't touch.

Eric: And she puts her hand up on the mirror.

Amanda: I bring my hand up to touch.

Eric: And I think of that moment when you touch, Aggie, you remember you were Preserver. Everything that we've talked about, everything that happened in the beginning of this campaign, you uh, this Aggie in this timeline, knows that you were Preserver and now you are Multitool and you two have switched places. And you now get to take a look at this Aggie in front of you. And you see that, like, this Aggie, like, this Aggie looks different than you. This Aggie has a stiff posture and again is wearing this lab coat has, like, not the same goggles that you have. But these are, like, science goggles. Like, just those plastic ones are put up in her hair. This Aggie also has a scar that goes down her entire right arm there as much as you can see underneath, like, the– the jacket and in the lab coat. And the Aggie on the other side of the mirror says.

Eric (as Aggie): Oh my. Oh my god. You're me. We're both Aggie.

Amanda (as Aggie): I don't know what to say. How's Sushi?

Eric (as Aggie): Sushi is good. How is Pizza? Does Pizza still like butt scratches?

Amanda (as Aggie): Of course, so do sushi as a guess, some things are always the same. Oh, so this is you? I mean, you have-- your Vulcani is the same Vulcani, right? And I kind of gesture over my shoulder.

Julia (as Val): Are there multiple of me? Do I also have a different name? Is it as cool as my current name?

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Aggie): Um, are you-- are you two-- you two are? Is everything fine there? Everything, you two are good?

Julia (as Val): What the fuck?

Amanda (as Aggie): Very good. I thought you were gonna say Milo fucked up because that I understand.

Julia (as Val): Cuz' he's currently very mad at us.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.

[Eric exhales]

Eric (as Aggie): I have-- I have so much. I have so much to tell you. I can't. I don't even know where to start. I want to ask you questions. I feel like I should be saying things to you. I don't. If only– if I had enough time to put together a chart. Or maybe, like, write all of this up. I just don't have the time. I don't know what.

Amanda (as Aggie): Write things up? What? Who are you?

Eric (as Aggie): I'm me. I'm me. I'm not-- you don't write things up? You don't make charts?

Amanda (as Aggie): No!

Eric (as Aggie): You-- it's like you don't even know how to use Excel.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Aggie): What? Okay, I-- we've snuck into the basement of the Office of Technology Assessment. That's where we are right now. Milo's dad used to work here and we are sinking in to find some other item to stop this guy called Gutenberg who's making pixelated constructs of superheroes everywhere and devaluing the good work that we're doing. I unmasked by the way, sorry if that fucks you up. I told everybody who I am.

Eric (as Aggie): Why would you do that? The whole point of being se-- having a secret identity is keeping it secret.

Amanda (as Aggie): It was a little impulsive. I'm getting a sense that maybe you're a little regressed version of me. Anyway um, I.

Eric (as Aggie): That--

Amanda (as Aggie): I am--

Eric (as Aggie): Why? Why would you say-- why would you say a thing? It seems like you decided to not be together at all. The whole thing was keeping it all together. You seem totally not together.

Amanda (as Aggie): You know--

Julia (as Val): Aggie stop being rude to each other.

Amanda (as Aggie): I am not going to be able to get in here again, so how, how do you have that mirror? Where can I get one?

Eric (as Aggie): I mean, you have uh, this mirror showed up in my lab only a few months ago. Do you have the same mirror? Does yours also have shark teeth all the way around it?

Amanda (as Aggie): What?

Eric: And if you take a look at your mirror the gold is as you've taken a step forward. Now you're seeing the gold on the outside of the mirror is inset as if it's inside of a shark's mouth. Like the gold teeth are, like, around it spread out, like, every few inches.

Amanda: Tight as fuck

Julia: Can I, like, look at it? Can we take this and leave with it?

Amanda: Is it, like, seven feet tall?

Eric: Yeah. It's a very, very large mirror.

Julia: Hey, I'm a very small but very strong person.

Eric: I'm just saying it's large. You would carry it, it's also a mirror so it is delicate, but that-- that's all I'm saying.

[Amanda exhales]

Amanda (as Aggie): I guess it was the time shark then.

Eric (as Aggie): The time shark. That--of all the things that we fought, we have never fought a time shark.

Amanda: I turn to Val.

Amanda (as Aggie): We fought a time shark, right?

Julia (as Val): I totally killed the time shark.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, maybe that's why. Do you-- did you work with Chide? With Dez's dad?

Eric (as Aggie): Dez never brought up his dad.

Amanda (as Aggie): Don't ask him. Let me tell you that much.

Julia (as Val): Were you caught in a time loop?

Eric (as Aggie): I don't know what you're talking about. I can ask Dez but he's out on a mission right now.

Amanda (as Aggie): Wait, why are you wearing Dr. Morrow's coat?

Eric (as Aggie): There is so much you don't know.

Eric: If you would like to take another piece of pie to talk to Preserver, I'll say, I will tell you where you guys can catch up, but you will have to take the time for you to figure this out. Brandon, yeah, do you and Lou-- you and Lou want to keep looking for the sunglasses?

Brandon: Yes.

Eric: Just do a straight up perception check for me.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: And then Lou will give you a bonus.

Brandon: I got a 14 + 9 for 23.

Eric: Alright. 23. That's gonna be another piece of pie. That is four pieces of pie. 23, I'm going to give-- Lou's gonna give you +3 for this one, so that's going to be 23 + 26.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: Another incredible roll. Brandon, can you roll 1D4 for me?

Brandon: Sure.

Julia: Brandon, I'm so proud of you.

Amanda: I'm proud of you, bud.

Julia: Really when we need you.

Brandon: Anger really motivates me, you know.

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: 3.

Eric: A 3, incredible. You kind of dispersed for it with that pyramid of cardboard boxes. You two are making quick work of stuff. Like, I don't know, like, are you, like, literally like, putting your hands through boxes and pulling things out? And Lou is just, like, systematically sorting things and do a taxonomy of like, 15, 16, 17 categories that no one else knows. It's like.

Eric (as Lou): It's fine. Just let me work. I got it. I got it.

Brandon: I love that. And I probably, like, had some, like, ghost scouts. Some small ghost scouts just, like, dispersed around the room and look for things direct me.

Eric (as Ghost Scout):  I didn't find anything.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Ghost Scout): Again, I'm coming back to you. There's nothing in here. Just some--it's just some weird stuff.

Eric: Yeah, we're looking through, you now uh, kind of our one over to a long desk that has a bunch of smaller cardboard boxes stacked on top of it. You see that there is one very long cardboard box as you're making your way through and you pull it out, and you see that there's, like, a very-- what looks like a very, very long tuning fork with a hilt on the end.

Brandon: Almost like a pasta thing. Like, a pasta tine.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's two tiny pieces of metal that are sticking up that kind of attach at a hilt, but like it's like someone just wrapped, like, tennis, you know, like, tennis wrap around the end of this massive tuning fork. And again, it's-- there's a uh, there's a dossier inside. They recovered this from Siberia, where this was humming inside of a frozen cathedral.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: Before they pulled it out, it was inside, literally sticking inside out of an organ where that was just, like, playing itself.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: And the entire cathedral was shaking every few seconds. Like, you would see, like, ice cascading off of the roof and falling down on the ground. And then they-- they recovered this. This is called the tuning fork. It does 1D10 piercing, 1D8 sonic damage, and you have-- it has 3 charges where you can spend them to either one, attack again or create kind of, like, and extra sonic version of yourself and move 15-feet and exchange places with the sonic version of yourself. It only has 3 charges, but if you can figure out a way to get the tuning fork, you know, wobbling again you can get those charges back.

Eric: That's dope as fuck. Milo is going to just, like, delicately put it through a belt or something, so it doesn't poke him. Um, I am going to from now forth call it the Tuna Fork.

[Amanda laughs]

Julia: Naturally.

Brandon: The tuna-eat fork.

Amanda: Cut to Milo five days from now using it to eat tuna from a can and not sharing it with Tuna the cat.

Brandon: [Julia hums in agreement]

Brandon: 100%, because he had hid my keys again.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: You guys have used four pieces of pizza, correct?

Amanda: Yes.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: Yes.

Eric: Alright. Cool.

Julia: I'm concerned about the-- the amount of pizzas deeply.

Amanda: I know. Me too.

Eric: Cool.

Julia: Can I do an insight check and see what I think how many we have?

Eric: Yeah, that's too--. How much the director believed that. Yeah, for sure.

Julia: Okay, sure.

Eric: Yeah, do an insight check.

[dice clanks]

Julia: Uh, 17 + 4. 21.

Eric: You thought you did a pretty good job because, you know, you rolled an 18.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: And then you were like, this isn't like pranking someone. This is the director of a secret government.

[Amanda laughs nervously]

Eric: Of a secret government office. I don't know if I impression of a dumb guy. I don't know how good it was.

Julia: I thought it was pretty good. I don't know.

Eric: They're probably really good, so I can't tell you but I think you were like, I'm worried what I did wasn't good enough is what I'll give you.

Julia (as Val): I'm concerned that we might not have a lot of time, so let's try to hurry it up people.

Eric: Okay, you have not found the sunglasses yet. And Aggie, you are standing in front of Other Aggie. You can use a piece of pizza to talk to each other and figure stuff out if you would like.

Amanda (as Aggie): What do you guys think?

Brandon (as Milo): I think it's up to you.

Julia (as Val): Yeah, I think it's totally up to you. I was also thinking about, like, taking this thing to go or seeing if we can break a piece off without ruining the magic and then take that back?

Brandon (as Milo): I'm all down for taking it to go.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, I think the best thing to do is just to take it. And if it breaks Julia, then, like, we can grab the shards and see if we can do something with it later. But yeah, I think we got to, we got to cut and run.

Julia: Cool. I also take a bunch of pictures of it just in case I need to put it back together again, or something.

Brandon: Smart.

Eric: Incredible.

Julia (as Val): Val was just like, Don't mind me. Sorry, Other Aggie.

Eric (as Aggie): I don't, I don't-- I don't like, Ah, Wha-- Can you-- can you really see how many blankets are you going to wrap this mirror in if you're going to transport it delicately? I have moved so many people. And I can tell you, you're going to need at least two, at least two if they're heavy. If they're heavy down blankets, you're going to need three rugs at least.

Julia (as Val): Do I seem like I have blankets?

Eric (as Aggie): Well, I don't know anything about what this-- Well, I don't know anything about what this-- what this Vulcani can do. Uh.

Amanda (as Aggie): Anything that they want to do. And we have a lot of cardboard around here. Can you cover your end in a-- in a blanket or something? That way if somebody sees this, they don't see anything? And just, like, be quiet. Like, can you mute yourself?

Julia (as Val): Like it's a zoom call.

Eric (as Aggie): This isn't, yeah, this isn't a la--. This isn't a laptop, I can't just mute myself. I'll be quiet. I'll tell and if anyone comes in, I'll tell them not to.

Amanda (as Aggie): Great. I'm going to dash out and try to find some cardboard, like, empty boxes or material. Anything that we can do to make this a little bit easier.

Eric: Sure. Yeah, I think that you don't have to spend any time. There's plenty of cardboard boxes around here. Would you like to make a survival check to pack this thing up?

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: Are you good at this?

Amanda: I'm great at it. My whole job is, like, packing and moving things all around the national forests.

Eric: No, I guess no, you're right. I'll give you --

Julia: And surviving.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amanda: Surviving, yeah.

Eric: What do you have for-- what do you have on survival?

Amanda: I got +2 to survival

Eric: Yeah, you add your proficiency to that as well.

Amanda: Okay, great, so it's a +6.

Eric: Because this is about packing, specifically.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: So, I'll give you +6 in this roll.

[dice rolls]

Amanda: Alright, it's a 17 + 6 for 23.

Eric: Okay, you're able to pack it up pretty well. Again, this is a mirror. It's still delicate, but you're able to, like, safely carry it. It's 8-feet tall and 2-feet wide, so it's still very large. Like, Val, you can carry it pretty easily. But after a while, your arm will get tired. Like...

Julia: I'll just go into a rage if I get tired. It's fine.

[Eric chuckles]

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, let's move it over to the elevator banks. That way we can.

Julia (as Val): Yeah, let's-- I'll just-- I'll take this. You are bad at looking for stuff than me, if you want to take my glasses they would help but if you want to take my glasses you're more than welcome to.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, I'll try. Thank you.

Eric: Cool. You're still at four pieces of pizza because you just kind of pack this up. You're putting this way for later. What would you like to spend time doing?

Brandon: I see Vulcania and Multitool come out of the vault and I just, like, put my hands up like.

Brandon (as Milo): A mirror? We never saw glasses. What are y'all doing?

Julia (as Val): It's extremely important. We will tell you about it in a second. It's a mirror to another timeline, Milo, and it seems important.

Amanda (as Aggie): You're gonna love it.

Brandon (as Milo): You're gonna help look for the whole thing that we're here for?

Julia (as Val): There was another Aggie in the mirror who we talked to.

Amanda (as Aggie): You're gonna love it. It's some Star Trek shit. I'm here to help you now. Where do you want me to look?

Eric (as Lou): This mirror go-- Wait, hold on. And Lou, like, pushes over a box. And you see, like, a bunch of skulls roll out of it.

Amanda (as Aggie): Later Lou.

Eric (as Lou): Wait, another-- an alternate timeline exists?

Amanda (as Aggie): Later. Come on.

Julia (as Val): Yes, Lou. We will tell you about it later.

Eric (as Lou): God, I just ruined my skulls and bones pile. Damn it.

Julia (as Val): Look for sunglasses, Lou.

Eric (as Lou): I'm looking. I have a system.

Brandon (as Milo): We have been. What have you been doing?

Eric (as Lou): What have you been doing?

Julia (as Val): Talking to another timeline.

Brandon (as Milo): That’s not on task.

Eric (as Lou): I wish-- I wish I was doing that instead of looking. Damn.

Amanda (as Aggie): Milo, where would you like me to go?

Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I assume I can sort of, like, help guide in a better general direction than just random, Eric?

Eric: Yes, I will say that Milo has rolled a 56 total so far, so you guys can go, like, individually. Like, if you want Milo to go again, he can go again. And then, while you can decide what you want to do with your actions if you'd like to.

Julia: Milo seems like he's been rolling real well. I think I tossed him the unknown glasses and be like.

Julia (as Val): See if these help. You can see through stuff.

Amanda: Definitely. I definitely prefer to, like, do a help action or like bring boxes over to you to check or, you know, whatever would be helpful.

Eric: Okay, great.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: Brandon, you're gonna get +5 again, because you're using the-- you're using glasses and you're going to get advantage.

Brandon: Oh, sweet. Okay.

Amanda: Yeah!

Brandon: 15 and 4, so 15 + 9 is 19, + 5 is 24.

Eric: Wonderful. 24. Man, in total you have totaled 80, the number I was looking for was 70. You fucking crossed it, my man.

Eric: Ooh!

Julia: Fuck yeah, we found them.

Eric: Again, that was 24 that was over. I also want you to roll another D4. I will say though, because you had 15 on the dice, that is another piece of pizza. That's five pieces of pizza.

Brandon: If there's one thing Milo's good at and it's probably only one thing, it's precepting.

Amanda: You're good at lots of things, like hitting the spirits surge at the most dramatically inopportune time.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: It's your specialty, really.

Brandon: A 2.

Eric: It's a 2, wonderful. Yeah, you're rooting around in another-- like you've pushed over the boxes. I think that you just kind of look around and you see that there's just, like, a box like, on a chair and you're like, "Oh, fine, I'm just gonna look at the boxes." And you look in the boxes and you open it up. And you see that there is a sunglasses case.

[Brandon inhales sharply]

Eric: That says, Hank Bans on it.

[Amanda laughs]

Julia: Oh my god.

Eric: And in there, there is also, there is a glass bottle in the shape of a turtle shell. And like on the top of it, there's, like, a cork in it, and sees that there's like a-- like a silvery liquid inside that moves around quickly as you kind of slosh it around. There are also two dossiers in here.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: One, it says, “Literal bottle of mercury. Stay back. Watch out. Don't open it unless you know what you're doing.” It seems like this metal was sloshing around turtles in um, where-- where was Dar? Where did Darwin go?

Amanda: Galapagos?

Brandon: Galapagos.

Eric: In the Galapagos. Yeah, that this metal was kind of like swishing around in the water there. And they were and the uh, the OTA recovered it because people had been dumping, like, laptops into the water, and they would, like, wash up on shore and this kind of like metal kind of washed off of it. You have to see that mechanically, it gives you AC +1 if you, like, put it on your clothing. And if someone attacks you and they fail by 7 or more, you can retaliate with an action immediately.

Julia: Oh, I love that.

Amanda: Cool.

Brandon: If I, like, drink their mercury, if I like smear it on myself,if I just have it ?

Eric: You apply it to your clothing.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: There's also another dossier about the Hank Bans. It says they've been developing it based off of technology that Dr. Morrow had been working on that was brought in by a managing agent, Hank Lane. Hank said that in exchange that you had to name them after him, so they were Hank Bans.

Brandon: Classic, Hank.

Eric: Wonderful. That is five pieces of pizza, while you two are doing things, is there anything else you want? What do you all want to do?

Julia: We gotta go.

Amanda: We gotta go.

Eric: Gotta go?

Brandon: Yeah, sorry. I hold the sunglasses and I just say.

Brandon (as Milo): Don't worry. I didn't need help. I found it myself. Let's go.

Julia (as Val): Alright, great. We found a portal to another timeline. Let's get the fuck out of here.

Brandon (as Milo): Except for Lou. Lou helped a lot.

Eric (as Lou): I guess we all did things.

Julia (as Val): Proud of you, Lou.

Amanda (as Aggie): Proud of you, Lou.

Eric (as Lou): I helped.

Brandon (as Milo): Tuna was more helpful than y'all two.

Julia (as Val): Alright back upstairs. Let's go. Let's get the fuck out of here.

Eric: Alright. So yeah, you just want to go back in the elevator and book it out of there?

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: I think so.

Julia: Get the fuck out. It's not gonna be that easy, but get the fuck out.

Eric: Wonderful. Alright. Yeah, you're all going out of there. Yeah. How do you– How do you get out of here the fastest, I guess is what I would say.

Amanda: So, this elevator comes back up where the Sommelier is tied up, right? On the hopscotch level?

Julia: Right.

Amanda: We need to hopscotch across, and then get back out. So, let's just take it up to Sommelier and physically restrain Milo and make her help us get out.

Julia: Sounds good.

Eric: Interesting. That's an interesting thought.

Brandon: Yeah, definitely take Milo to the place where he wants-- the person he wants to fight is tied up.

Amanda: That's the only place the elevator goes.

Julia: We'll beat you over the head with this mirror. I don't give a single fuck.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: Sure. I think you definitely be how you want-- you want to deal with this.

Amanda: I mean, are there any other options? Like, can I, I don't know, get any sense if there are other exit options? Like, there must be a secret exit from this level, right?

Brandon: I mean, we could look in the-- keep looking at the boxes and try to find, like, a transport portal.

Eric: Right now, you can either run to the elevator and then that would be, like, your sixth pizza piece or and you can roll on it and see if that time counts. Or you can use that action to do something else and that will be your sixth pizza piece. You know what I mean? Like, you found the sunglasses, now you have to leave, but the-- the clock still goes. Like, you're still filling in segments into the pizza because that's how time work. So, you can decide what you want to do.

Julia (as Val): Aggie, what did it feel like when you touched the mirror?

Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, like, my-- my brain was being uh, split down the middle, like chopping wood. And suddenly I was aware of, like, a whole nother life that I lived alongside my own life before several months ago.

Julia (as Val): Cool. I was thinking, like, physically. Like it felt like a physical barrier, but are you okay?

Amanda (as Aggie): No, yeah, it just-- it felt like-- I felt like glass. Maybeit was a little warmer than I was used to but it felt like glass,

Julia (as Val): Because if we could just go through and then come back that would be, like, once the dust has settled that would be a whole thing. Plus, we get to do fun bizarro plotline, which would also be fun.

Eric: If you want to figure that out, you could.

Julia: Well, they do think we're on three, so if we went up to two, they might not check there right away. I don't know. But we don't have, like, short rest time. That's way too much time.

Amanda: Yeah, because if we-- if we get to hopscotch then we could go back out the waterfall or even up to the elevator and then, like, sneak out from the roof. Like, we could take the elevators to the roof. We could go out the lobby, we could do lots of things.

[Brandon hums in agreement]

Eric: I just want to say there is no indication that you the wa-- the waterfall was two-way.

Julia: Oof, that's even worse than hour fucked.

Eric: You kind of just, like, walked through something and then all of a sudden you're on hopscotch.

Amanda: Hmmm. Okay.

Julia: I think I'm gonna investigate the mirror and see if there is any way, shape, or form that by, like, Aggie pushing through we might be able to handle something.

Eric: Sure. Make an arcana check.

Julia: Fuck me. Alright, fine.

Amanda: I'll help you. Yeah, like, let me-- let me hold the mirror while you look at it and give you the help action.

Julia: Or like anyone else who has higher arcana check than me would also be very good at this, I'm sure.

Brandon: Yeah, I have a +5 I'll do it.

[dice rolls]

[Julia huffs a laugh]

Julia: I rolled a 19 though.

Brandon: Oh, okay. Nevermind.

Amanda: Yay!

Julia: It's -1, so it's only an 18 but...

Eric: Alright, well, you roll, you got a 19 on the dice.

Amanda: It didn't take time. Yeah.

Eric: It didn't take time.

Julia: So, I think I grabbed Milo be like.

Julia (as Val): Look, there's another Aggie. What if we, like, went in there? Can we do that?

Eric: Yeah, I like the idea of you, like, opening up the cardboard box and inside Aggie is just kind of, like, sitting there. Just knitting quietly in the corner. And be like.

Eric (as Aggie): You have Milo.

Julia (as Val): Yes.

Brandon (as Milo): What up?

Eric (as Aggie): Hi. It's good to-- I'm glad you're okay.

Amanda (as Aggie): What?

Brandon (as Milo): What? Of course I'm okay.

Amanda (as Aggie): Why wouldn't he be?

Julia (as Val): Okay. We'll handle that later. Other Aggie, is there a way that we can get to you through this mirror? What do you think? You've been investigating it for months apparently.

Eric (as Aggie): Why? I didn't know. I didn't know there was anything on the other side. I haven't pushed. I haven't touched it. I haven't pushed. I haven't been able to push my way through.

Julia (as Val): Have you tried to push your way through?

Eric (as Aggie): Of course, I've tested pushing my way through and experimenting with it. I have probed everything that I have in this lab. I haven't been able to push my way through, but I haven't had anything on the other side.

Julia (as Val): Lou. Lou, you're the smartest person in Laketown city. Can we with, like, the frequencies of the two Aggie open up a portal into the other timezone? Or what? Time zone. Yeah. We're going to fucking pacific.

Eric: Time zone?

Brandon: Pacific.

Amanda: Central baby.

Eric: Hell yes.

Eric (as Lou): I am just understanding whether or not time that-- I'm just understanding the timelines are a thing, but if there are two different opposite sides of the timeline, I guess theoretically, you could figure that-- you theoretically, you could figure it out and be able to, you know, nothing's impossible. Science is weird. Science has weird holes in it everywhere. So yeah, I mean, maybe? Maybe.

Julia (as Val): Great.

Eric (as Lou): Try it.

Julia (as Val): Aggie, put your hand against Other Aggie. I'm gonna vibrate it so that the frequencies align or something? And then we're all gonna fucking go through this mirror. Let's fucking go.

Amanda (as Aggie): This feels so dangerous. Uh, let's high five.

Julia (as Val): High five.

Amanda (as Aggie): Okay. And I hold my hand up to the Aggie, like, 12 inches back from the mirror.

Eric (as Aggie): I don't know if-- I am not sure about this. I just met you. I know you're me, but you're definitely not me. This is-- I don't know if that's something I want to do right now.

Julia (as Val): Do you want the other version of you to, like, suffer and get attacked by, like, the Black Ops government cuz' that wouldn't be fun for anyone.

Amanda (as Aggie): That's true.

Eric (as Aggie): No, I don't but I do just want to take some steps and maybe try to just figure this out. Look at the-- if we can look at the situation from a few different ways and I just get some time to research it.

Julia (as Val): Can we please? Please.

Amanda (as Aggie): I turn to Vulcani, Am I boring?

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Val): I don't think you're boring. No, no, I think this one's just very cautious. And I don't know how to talk to someone who's cautious.

Eric (as Aggie): I'm not boring. I'm prepared. People, I'm responsible.

Amanda: Multitool whirls around to, like, square her shoulders to the mirror and says.

Amanda (as Aggie): I triple dog dare you. 123.

Eric (as Aggie): Fine!

[Julia huffs a laugh]

Eric: The other Aggie also puts her hand up against the mirror. I'm gonna need all of you to roll. Just roll. Give me some D--. Give me some rolls. Give me some D20 rolls.

[dice rolls]

Amanda: 19.

Julia: I also rolled a 19.

Brandon: 8.

[Julia stutters]

Julia: Brandon!

Brandon: Oh!

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Brandon!

Eric: Did you put it on?

Brandon: Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I was just fucking around with the Lord of the Rings shit, but of course I would put it on. I want to use it.

Amanda: Do we just avert?

Eric: Brandon, I need you to roll a D20 for me right now about whether or not you actually put the ring on.

[dice clanks]

Eric: [Brandon laughs]

Brandon: You want to take a guess on what I got, Eric?

Eric: It's either a 1 or a 20.

Brandon: It's a 1, baby.

Julia: Oh, Brandon.

Eric: Yeah, you didn't put the ring on. It is definitely in that envelope.

Julia: Oh my god.

Eric: Alright. Okay.

Julia: Oh my goodness.

Eric: 19, 19, 8.

Brandon: That's fucking hilarious.

Amanda: I am in front of the mirror, so if anything bad happens, I can take it.

Julia: I'm holding it and vibrating it.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: Because I think that's going to help because I don't understand science.

Eric: Brandon, how much-- how much HP do you have?

Brandon: 23 temporary and 16 current, so 39.

Eric: Okay. Brandon, I'm gonna wipe away all of your temporary hit points and bring you down to 10.

Brandon: Cool.

[music plays]

Eric: As they move– move towards the mirror and as the two Aggies put their hands together, and I assume that all of you are-- all four of you are standing around the mirror. It physically starts to hurt you a little bit. Aggie, you put your hand through and I think that, like, if you two are pushing on each other, like, the game where you and your sibling will push out each other until the other one falls in the dirt, and you're just pushing on it. And then your hands slowly start to move through the mirror, as Val, you are vibrating to the frequency of the universe and of time, as you're pushing your way through. And Mi--and Milo and Lou are also getting sucked up in this. I guess you're all holding on to each other. And Milo as you get closer and closer to the mirror, I think it's starting to physically hurt you. Maybe it's from the poison-- from-- sticking from the monster back into it uh, into your-- your goo body or maybe it's something else.

Brandon: I mean, I'm super connected to this specific plane with the death so...

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no 100%. I think that you see that your skin goes translucent, and you see all of your organs inside.

[startled screaming]

Eric: And like it like, what and, like, certain, like, your kidney, like, glows and pushes against your skin a little bit as it's happening. And then you-- and then you go un-translucent again. And then, like, you feel physically tired. Like, whatever, there's-- the merging of the ghost powers and you, they're the same. Like, their energy together and the ghost powers are dimming a little bit as you're in there.

Brandon: Uh.

Eric: And while this is happening, Aggie, you continue to push through the mirror. And as the other Aggie then realizes what's happening and starts pulling you through. And remember the other Aggie is incredibly strong, so then with one good yank as she gets into full position. Like sturdy legs in perfect 90 degree angles, this Aggie pulls hard and all four of you tumble in through the mirror.

Brandon: Eric, here's what I was gonna say though. I think at the point where Milo starts feeling ill, Milo would say.

Brandon (as Milo): Fuck this shit.

Brandon: And then back, back out of the mirror.

Eric: Hell yes. Like, it's the-- it's the tail, right? And so, it's like Aggie is attached to other Aggie, and Val is attached to Aggie, and Lou is attached to Val. And if you're on the end, you're feeling weird and translucent. You're like, "Nope," yeah, you could-- you can just, you can fall off.

Brandon: Milo looks at his hands and see the translucency, like, start from his fingertips and go through his body and he sees his liver at some point. He's like.

Brandon (as Milo): Nope, fuck this shit. This was a bad idea. I'm not doing this. This is a mirror. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just gonna go. I have sunglasses. Bye. And Milo goes out of the mirror.

Eric: Nice. Yeah, you tumble off. And then the mirror, like, there's almost, like, a cracking of a mirror. Like you're just moving through it. And then Milo you see your three friends tumble into the mirror, standing next to Other Aggie in some other lab. And that's when you hear.

Eric: [speaker announcement] Security breach. Security breach. Research and development, Oubliette 3 is blocked out.

Eric: Wham wham. Wham. Wham. Wham. You look out the hallway towards the elevator and you see, like, five portcullis just, like, slammed down in the hallway leading out to the elephant.

[music stops]

Eric: I think on the other side of the mirror, the three of you are looking around in this lab. And Other Aggie says.

Eric (as Aggie): I hope my hair doesn't really look like that from the back.

[Amanda screams]

[Brandon laughs]

[Join the Party Theme music plays]

 

Transcribed by: John Matthew M. Sarong