Two questions, both alike in dignity: What’s going on in the alternate universe? And how is Milo going to escape? Aggie talks to herself. Val looks to the other side. Preserver needs to sit down.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: The LT3 and Lou made it to the final level of the OTA, where the sunglasses to see Gutenberg’s constructs are being kept. Milo and Lou immediately went searching, while Aggie and Val felt pulled toward a vault on the other side of the room. Inside was a mirror, showing a reflection of Aggie. But it wasn’t a reflection, it was Preserver - the other Aggie from a different timeline. With time pressing down on them, and the OTA showing up any minute, the LT3 tried to push their way into the mirror, into the other timeline, but something was keeping Milo out. As well as his frustration with his other super colleagues at the moment. What’s on the other side? And do they all have evil mustaches? Let’s start the party! That’s what they say on Party Joiners, the show you’re listening to.
[Join the Party Theme music plays]
Eric: Hey Brandon. Hey bud.
Brandon: Hey, what's up? I'm having a great morning just, like, super chill. You know, nice sunrise, just beautiful, very peaceful, calm. There's a dough in my backyard.
Eric: Oh, that's nice.
Amanda: Oh!
Brandon: There wasn't really I'm just--
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: Sorry, Brandon, you haven't put your uh, your Dungeons and Dragons vision on. You should probably put that on.
Brandon: Okay, let me-- let me just like.
[fiddling noises]
Brandon: Oh, fuck!
Eric: Yeah, so Kilonova has 10 hit points. You are still down in Oubliette 3 in the Research and Development Department. Five portcullis have slammed down in front of you, separating you from the elevator. And a voice has come over the speaker system, saying the security measures have been activated. And, you know, like, when you don't change the battery in a fire detector and, like, that chirp happens every 15 seconds.
[Brandon hums]
Eric: Like, that's happening too just on top of it.
Brandon: God. That's the worst part of this.
[Eric chirps]
Brandon: That's the worst part of this.
[Eric chirps like a fire alarm]
Brandon: I'm waiting for you to do it again. Yeah, fuck you.
[Amanda and Eric laugh]
Brandon: Okay, so I have a plan.
[Eric chirps like a farm alarm]
Brandon: Fuck you.
Amanda: Sorry, Brandon, you can't edit the podcast anymore because Eric has just, like, you know, organically really just pepper in the fire alarm.
[Brandon chuckles]
Brandon: Milo is sort of takes-- I'm going to murder your stupid ass.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: Milo is going to sort of take stock of what's happening. Can I assume? Well, I don't know, so I'm underground, right? Fuck.
Eric: Yes, you're an Oubliette 3 all the way pretty far underground. You can still make checks and everything. I also want to-- to imagine that there is, like, what's happened? The-- remember how we talked about Pizza for the whole last episode?
[Brandon hums in agreement]
Eric: That was the director figuring out that something's up and activating the security systems.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: You can still assume that everyone is still at the park, I want to put in your head, maybe from what you've learned from your dad, at his job is, like, you know, sometimes national security when your a secret government agency, people make choices about what amount of information is out there or not, so you don't even know of whether or not all the agents are rushing back to the building. Like, the only thing you know for certain is that the security measures on Oubliette 3 have been activated. You can also still make perception checks and look around a little more. But right now, like, you, all of your friends are in the mirror, you're at 10 hit points, and there's that chirping.
[Eric chirps]
Eric: That keeps happening.
Brandon: God, I want to hit something really harsh.
Eric: They really should have changed--
Brandon: That stupid sou-- My fire-- my smoke detector's battery ran out, like, literally like a week ago. And so, it's like fresh in my fucking brain.
Amanda: Aw.
Eric: Yeah, that's really--
[Eric chirps]
Eric: --unfortunate for you.
Brandon: Okay, so here's my thought. I am going to look around, do a perception check to see, we're underground, so there has to be some kind of ventilation somewhere.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, do a perception check for me.
[dice clanks]
Brandon: 13?
Eric: Alright, I think with a 13, you look around, you realize there aren't cameras down here. And you also remember that, like, there was not a camera before when the director tried to check in on what was happening. Put together, there wouldn't be cameras down in the Oubliettes because that's where the secretship happens. Why would you willingly have evidence of that? So, you haven't been made, necessarily. I think that there are-- you look around and you see that there is, like, a very small ventilation system. There's also, like, sprinklers up at the top as well. You don't know, like, if that is for because this is the research and development department, because this is where they do research is more of like a science lab thing. You know, like, you see that there's an eye wash over the far corner just in case. You also notice with a 13 though that um, hey, is this-- is the ceiling lowering a little bit? Is it getting a little closer?
Brandon: Oh fuck. I don't think so, Eric. Actually, I looked at it Eric, it's not.
Eric: Oh, I mean, like, with a 13 it's you're right, it's not.
Brandon: Fuck.
Amanda: Damn it.
Brandon: I was trying to reverse psychology onto you. Okay, so what Milo is going to do, how far away would you say is the vent?
Eric: I would say this is the size of a gymnasium, so it is pretty far away.
Brandon: 20, 20 feet.
Eric: Yeah, like, it's a pretty large room. Yeah.
Brandon: Cool. Okay, so what I'm going to do is pull out the Tuning Fork of Sonic.
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon: Movements. I'm trying to give it a cool, a cool big name.
Eric: Yeah, tuning fork, I like it.
Brandon: I'm going to smack it on my thigh, so it starts vibrating. And create a sonic version of myself 30-feet away, right up next to the vents.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: And I'm going to go up there.
[Eric hums]
Brandon: Going to trade places with that. And then as soon as I get up there, cast gaseous form and turn into a cloud.
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: Wonderful.
Julia: The classic go-to.
Amanda: Look at that action economy.
Eric: First, I want you to make a dexterity saving throw really quickly.
[dice clanks]
Brandon: 11 + 3 for a 14.
Eric: Okay, you're-- if you're gonna go into gaseous form, I would love for you to roll in your, your spirits surge, yeah.
Brandon: 7, so I'm up to 4.
Eric: Okay, you're up to 4. I'm gonna roll.
[dice clanks]
[Eric laughs mischievously]
Eric: Oh, buddy. Oh, buddy, I rolled a Natural 20, unfortunately, this was a wonderful, this is wonderful.
Brandon: For what? What did you roll against?
Eric: Wonderful thing. I rolled against whether or not the ceiling is covered up that vent or not as it is lowered down. So, you teleport your way out there, you turn into gaseous form. And then, like, the ceiling has lowered past the ventilation system, which is dangerous, they shouldn't do that.
Brandon: I was gonna say this seems like an against code.
Eric: No, definitely, Brandon. 100% Maybe they don't love the person when the security systems are activated to, you know.
Brandon: Breath.
Eric: Breath. So, the facility has lowered below the ventilation system, I would say that it is now, like, one level down the ventilation system and it's getting-- the room is getting a little bit smaller. I will say you were still in gaseous form, though, if you would like to stay in gaseous form. And you can hang-- you are hanging up above that ceiling.
Brandon: Okay, I think I'm going to do the same sort of maneuver here.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Use the tuning fork, go out of gaseous farm, land on my feet, probably break an ankle. Use the tuning fork to get as close to the elevator as possible. I know there's the thing in front of it.
Eric: Hell yes. I love that. First of all, I just want to say.
[Eric chirps]
Eric: Then.
[Brandon screams]
Eric: You can use the tuning fork and again you create, like, a sonic version yourself. It goes [wobbling noises] and you go through the first portcullis. Then you smack into the second one. As you smack into it, it like reverberates out, like, it's-- you make a drop in a pond. Like, as you hit it, it, like, is almost liquid on the outside and vibrates out from where you hit it. Please make an arcana check for me.
[dice clanks]
Brandon: Oh, that's a natural 20, my dude.
[Julia gasps]
Eric: Hell yes.
Brandon: I thought it was 0 for a second, I couldn't see the two. I was like, Fuck!
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Eric: I will just tell you explicitly what's happening here. Maybe your dad told you about this, this thing that they were working on. They've been working on a material that is adaptive to superhero powers. And the way that this works mechanically, is that each one of these portcullis, you have to do a different thing to get through each one. So, if you teleported using sound through this one, you cannot use that again through the next thing.
Brandon: Oh, cool. Okay.
Eric: So, that is explicitly what's happening. Because you rolled a Nat20, the ceiling is still, like, lowering slowly and you are still at one-- on one level here. You can also see the ceiling is still lowering regardless of you being in the hallway, like, let's flip over to the mirror. Let's go to the alternate universe, where Lou, Val, and Aggie are fallen in a-- in a heap on the floor of the Preserver's lab. And the last thing Preserver said under her breath was.
Eric (as Preserver): Does my hair really look like that from the back?
Eric: And pulls you and like.
Eric (as Preserver): So, I just-- I just wanted to know um, what was the plan? I'm more than happy to have guests, but what was the plan here so that we can all get on the same page of coming in to where I am. I just want to know what-- what was the idea happening here so that I can help you achieve that plan, which I'm sure you had when you dropped.
Julia (as Val): Mostly was just to lay low until the government stopped looking for us in the lab and then we would try to go back, maybe? I don't know.
Eric (as Preserver): Interesting.
Amanda: I think Multitool is just, like, stood up and just looking at Preserver. Like, touching her face, like, touching her hair. Looking at her lab coat, checking in her pockets.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Aggie): What's happening here?
Eric (as Preserver): I don't-- Do you need something from me?
Amanda (as Aggie): Isn't this weird for you also?
Eric (as Preserver): It is weird for me, but I am making a mental note of all the differences between us and not expressing that because we're obviously dealing with a thing right now.
Amanda (as Aggie): I agree with Vulcani here. We have to lay low for a little bit. There was security right on our tail and I guess our colleague stayed. Listen, I got to know.
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, I know. I know him that's-- that's Milo. I know. I know him. I know all the things you know.
Amanda (as Aggie): Where are we?
Julia (as Val): Milo, sorry, hold on. Milo stayed behind? Why?
Amanda (as Aggie): It's a good question. I'm just saying he's not here right now.
Julia (as Val): Lou, are you okay?
Eric (as Lou): I feel it's likely you got off a roller coaster. I just need to.
[Lou vomits]
Julia: Oh, okay.
Brandon: Oh no. Poor Lou.
Eric (as Lou): Sorry. Was that-- did you need that for something? I could fix it.
Eric (as Preserver): No, it's-- no, it's fine. Don't. Just leave, just leave it.
Eric: Yeah, you're looking around, this lab looks a lot like Dr. Morrow's lab except it's very nicely put together. Like, again, all of the books are in proper places. It's all very clean. There's, like, shelving in places where there weren't shelving before. There's a corkboard with lots of stuff are hung up on there. There's, like, one-- one hook and then the kind of just, like, on the wall, which doesn't have anything on it. And then Preserver puts her hat on the hook be like.
Eric (as Preserver): I don't want anyone to get cut. Just, if we're dealing with that this is kind of a safety precaution.
Julia (as Val): Cool.
Eric (as Preserver): So, you're here in my universe?
[Val hums in agreement]
Eric (as Preserver): Interesting. Should we share information about what each is different about each of our universes? Is that what you do in this situation?
Julia (as Val): I feel like that would take a lot of time? I don't know.
Amanda (as Aggie): I need to know what happened to your Vulcani. Why were you so freaked out to see Milo?
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, those are two separate story, which would you like first? Just-- I just would love to be clear about what-- and the-- what is the best order for me to tell the stories to you so that I can do it and we can exchange things--
Julia (as Val): No, I'm here so maybe, like, we can talk about me real quick.
Amanda (as Aggie): That Val one.
Eric (as Preserver): Okay. I'm going to put my bladed hat back on.
Julia (as Val): Why?
Eric (as Preserver): Just in case.
Amanda (as Aggie): No one is going to punch you. We can't even get home without you.
Eric (as Preserver): Well, if I didn't know that Vulcani was still going by Vulcani here. They go by Vesuvios. And they are the most wanted person in Laketown city.
Julia (as Val): Dope. That's okay. Huh?
Amanda (as Aggie): How-- how'd that happen?
Eric (as Preserver): Well, usually when you run the organized crime syndicate that reaches over the entire eastern seaboard, that would make you public enemy number one. I don't know if there's a different way to determine criminals in your universe.
Amanda (as Aggie): But. So, when we-- when we touched hands on the mirror, that sounds kind of silly, but I'm going with it. I-- Did you get my memory exchanged too? Like, do you know? When did-- when did those paths diverge? What happened?
Eric (as Preserver): I remember everything up until, if you're talking about a time loop or a time shark, I don't remember any of that, but I remember --
Amanda (as Aggie): It was May 1st.
Eric (as Preserver): -- April 30th. Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): So, everything was the same until then? You know,
Eric (as Preserver): I remember-- what I remember, I was there. I was in that thing and then we switched. So, I remember, when I was there, that uh, those times when I was with there, and then when we swapped, I'm not-- I'm still looking into the time mechanics of everything. I'm still a little behind working-- I've been working on some other stuff, so I haven't gotten my whole head around, but I remember everything you did when before we switched.
Amanda (as Aggie): So, you just got plunked into a universe where suddenly Vulcani is evil?
Julia (as Val): I don't know if I would call that evil. I mean, doing crime doesn't make you evil.
Amanda (as Aggie): Has a different job.
Julia (as Val): The world is not black and white.
Eric (as Preserver): There needs to be something in between being totally evil and having a different job like they decided to work at a different grocery store because it was $2 better and they could sit down. Like, maybe there's something in between.
[Julia hums]
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: I would like both of you to make constitution saving throws please.
Julia: Oh fuck yeah.
Julia: [dice rolls]
Julia: 16. 10 + 6.
Eric: God, you have +6 constitution saving throws?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Let's fucking go.
Julia: That's what I put my stuff in. Strength and constitution.
Eric: Let's go.
Amanda: 6 + 2 for an 8.
Eric: Alright. I think at that point, Aggie you have a deep pain in your side enough that it makes you crumble over. Makes you unsteady on your feet. You can just-- you can just take three points of damage, of psychic damage.
Amanda: Feels like getting off easy compared to the whole situation.
Eric: Yeah.
[Julia chuckles]
Eric: I think Val you feel you, like, you know, from being, you know, turning 30 when all of a sudden your body just hurts every so often.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric: It's more like that. And Lou is like.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, do I? Why do I hurt all of a sudden? I don't like that.
Julia (as Val): It's growing old, you know?
Eric (as Lou): Am I old now?
Julia (as Val): No.
Eric (as Lou): Am I old now?.
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
Julia (as Val): No, Lou, you're fine. Don't worry. I think Vulcani is gonna turn to the Preserver and be like. So, were you like a scientist in this universe? Are you, like, helping out Dr. Morrow and Dez? Like, what is the situation?
Eric (as Preserver): But truly, just before we start, I do want to get to that, did you three not notice your skin going translucent for a little bit?
Julia (as Val): I super didn't.
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
Julia (as Val): I was really focused on vibrating the mirror.
Amanda (as Aggie): When did that happen?
Eric (as Preserver): Right immediately. Right, right then. Did you not see that? You didn't see that?
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
Eric: I think the Preserver takes, like, a remote out of her pocket and then switches a screen to, like, a security camera that's right above you. And like, you can just see all three of you, like, glow a little bit and go translucent. I think of different parts of your body. Aggie, I think your whole body just went, your skin just went translucent and you saw your bones and your organs.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: And like, your kidney, maybe, where your kidney is there was, like, a big light flare up there.
Amanda: Don't like that.
Eric: For Lou and Val, they just like skin translucence.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, I don't think we can stay here long.
Eric (as Preserver): Oh. Yeah, no, that uh. I think that-- that definitely makes sense. I guess, like, we can just. I guess I could try to run through as much as possible. Just whatever you'd like. If you told me about your university, I'd tell you about my universe.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. I mean, hit us and we'll tell you what the alternatives, I guess, are?
Eric (as Preserver): No, that's good. I guess we'll, like, exchange questions. I don't know how much time we have.
Julia (as Val): I mean, it doesn't have to be like an open forum. You could just tell us stuff and be like, "Oh, that's different."
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, I should start with the first one. Is Dr. Morrow dead in your universe?
Julia (as Val): No.
Amanda (as Aggie): No!
Julia (as Val): Super not actually.
Eric (as Preserver): Oh.
Eric: Brandon. What? Hey, Brandon, what are you doing? What are you up to?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So, Brandon, you are on the other side of the portcullis, the ceiling is still coming down. What do you do?
Brandon: How many more portcullis are there between me and this elevator?
Eric: 4.
Brandon: 4 more?
[Brandon sighs]
Brandon: Fuck.
Eric: You could say that the other one-- the one behind you is open. Maybe you've, like, because you vibrated through it it's like up. So like, there are just four more left. You felt like you're stuck in between the two like an oyster cracker between the wall and the oven.
Julia: Sure, I think we've all experienced.
Amanda: Is there an oyster cracker stuck between the wall and our oven?
Eric: There might be. Isn't everyone in everyone's home?
Brandon: There's always says is. Yes, I understand.
Eric: Thank you, Brandon. I appreciate that.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: I think Tuna is also like.
Eric (as Tuna): What are we doing? What are you up to?
Eric: Tuna is also still glowing and has, like, the hands, and the mouths, and the eyes like pushing out of their body still. So, you have +2 to your AC still that's still running and Tuna is like a real scary demonic cat right now. Tuna's just like.
Eric (as Tuna): What are you doing? What are you up to?
Brandon: Milo sees no difference between this Tuna and the other regular Tuna, so I don't know what you're talking about.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Okay, I'm gonna do a couple things real quick in a row for ya, DM. Ready?
Eric: Do it.
Brandon: I'm going to turn to Tuna and say.
Brandon (as Milo): Hey, Tuna.
Eric (as Tuna): Yeah, what's going on?
Brandon (as Milo): Could you maybe, like, go through this portcullis real quick and, like, open it from the other side. Maybe, like, unlock it for me?
Eric (as Tuna): Okay, that sounds good.
Eric: Tuna just, like, prances through as you see, like, a hand push out of their butt as they go through there and then, like, the portcullis goes up, and be like.
Eric (as Tuna): Okay, that sounds fine.
Eric: So, now you see that the next portcullis in front of you has, like, this liq-- that liquidy-like surface of a pond texture as well. And also, it's glowing and purple and, like, weird translucent, so you can't use those powers to go through it anymore.
Brandon: Right. Okay. Well, here's the thing as I'm running out of spells real quick so...
Eric (as Tuna): Do you need help? Do you need help? Like, if this is kind of like a hint system in one of those video games you're bad at, can I help you with that?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, do you? Do you know how to get out of here?
Eric (as Tuna): No, but I can, like, give you, like, some more spells, but uh, and some-- and some things.
Brandon (as Milo): Sure.
Eric (as Tuna): Okay.
Brandon (as Milo): Tuna, if you have some knowledge of what's happening, I need you to share it with me.
Eric (as Tuna): I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's happening, but like, maybe Anubis can, like, help. Do you want that? Is that good for you?
Brandon (as Milo): But I have to die. I could die. I could die.
Eric (as Tuna): I mean, would you want that? I could do that. I'm really good at that.
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, yeah, I mean, I love Anubis. I would, anytime Anubis could come, can come hang I'm down.
Eric (as Tuna): Okay, hold on.
Eric: And then Tuna sits back. Sits back like a little gentleman, and then holds his two paws up. And then the paws get very, very large and scary and dangerous. And the claws are, like, the size of swords. And there's like.
Eric (as Tuna): Okay, you asked me to do it. Slash, slash.
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia: Remember how you didn't want to go through the portal because you're like, "I was gonna die!"
Eric: Right. I rolled a 19 and a crit on the dice.
Julia: Did he just fucking die?
Eric: So, you're dead. You're done. You're out. That's more than 10 points of damage.
Brandon: Okay, wonderful.
Eric: Hey, let's go over to. Let's go swapback to...
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: Eric, I just wanted to say I didn't necessarily want to. It doesn't matter. This is great. I just want everyone to know I could have, like, done it to myself. I don't know why Tuna felt the need.
Julia: Well, I wonder the way you treat them.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Their whole personality leads me to believe that maybe this just a little treat for them.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Just waiting for it for a long time.
Eric: Yeah, we're gonna swap over to Val and Aggie.
Amanda: It's just like a performance of Boeing Boeing at a community theater. Whoo!
Eric: That is a reference for only Amandas out there.
Amanda: Okay, alright.
Julia: Oh, and me. Yeah, I got you.
Brandon: Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, but I like it.
Eric: So, Preserver said.
Eric (as Preserver): So, is Dr. Morrow dead in your universe?
Julia (as Val): Super not.
Amanda (as Aggie): No!
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, yeah, that could be a large difference of why our things are so different.
Amanda (as Aggie): When did that happen?
Julia (as Val): Uh, how did she die? What happened?
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, some six, seven. Some amount of time ago.
Amanda (as Aggie): You gotta do better than.
Eric (as Preserver): I've spent a lot of time down here, time just kind of to me is different when you're just working all the time. Dr. Morrow, just say uh, made a bet with all the billionaires on the world saying that she could defeat a black hole. And the only way to do it was to create a black hole, so she did and then she got sucked into that black hole and she's gone.
Julia (as Val): What?
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah, you would have thought in our line of work it would have been, like, a whole thing but it would have been like epic fighting villains sacrificing yourself, but no. Dr. Morrow just kind of sucked herself -- sucked yourself into a black hole that she created in her own. Actually, right over there.
Eric: And she points to, like, a work desk that's, like, on the other side of the lab.
Julia (as Val): And it's just still there?
Amanda (as Aggie): It's still here?
Julia (as Val): She's the only thing that got sucked out? Whatever.
Eric (as Preserver): Well no a lot of other -- all of the things in her lab also got sucked in there. I, none of this stuff is hers. This is all mine from home.
Julia (as Val): Okay, what happened to Dez? Where's January?
Eric: That's a good question. I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw please.
[Julia chuckles]
[dice clanks]
Julia: 24.
Amanda: 13.
Eric: Uh, 4 points of psychic damage. Both Lou and Aggie also, boom, doubled over on the ground. Lou is like.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, I'm too close to where I threw up. It hurts.
Julia: Oh, no.
Amanda: Aw.
Eric: And again, Val, you've noticed that their skin went translucent again as well. You assume yours did as well, but you're such a beefy boy that --
Julia: That's true.
Eric: -- you're fine. You also saw another, like, organ glow. This time it was, like, right in the chest as, like, their lungs kind of glowed up there.
Julia (as Val): Aggie, your lungs look cool. I don't know what... I don't know if that's a compliment or not. They look cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thanks I uh.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm gonna try to hold on to that if I need to, like, try desperately to stay corporeal. I have so many questions about our family. Does, oh boy. Ah.
Eric (as Preserver): Wait, so is Dr. Morrow still alive where you are?
Julia (as Val): Yes.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): What she... Is she still leading the team? What's? What happened?
Julia (as Val): We kind of broke up with her --
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Julia: -- after she decided not to be mayor anymore.
Eric: Wham. Preserver just, like, makes a hole in the wall with their fist being like.
Eric (as Preserver): That's fine. I'm sure you had your reasons and that was cool. Uh, fine.
Eric: As she pulls her fist out [whooshing sfx] just, like, big crater in the-- in this metal wall that she punched.
Julia (as Val): That's cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): January? Dez?
Eric (as Preserver): January is theoretically somewhere looking for where Dr. Morrow is. He was convinced that she was still out there because there's another side to black holes, so maybe she was just randomly put somewhere in the universe.
Brandon: Hawking radiation.
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Sure.
Eric (as Preserver): Whoever said. I don't know who said. I'm not really sure who said that. I don't know where that came from.
Julia: Floating through the mirror.
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah, so wherever January-- wherever January is, I don't know. Dez uh, Dez still works with me.
Julia (as Val): Okay, well Dez knows something about time streams and shit like that, so that's helpful.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): We got to grab him before something happens to Lou. I'll be okay, but she's a high schooler.
Julia (as Val): She's also the smartest person in Laketown city where we come from.
Amanda (as Aggie): That's true.
Julia (as Val): So, like, she might be able to help too.
Eric (as Preserver): Uh, no one is smarter than Dr. Morrow. That doesn't make any sense.
Julia (as Val): Oh, fucking Lou is.
Amanda (as Aggie): Got a lot-- got a lot to learn.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Lou): I am but I'm just-- I'm giving five right now.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Do you need, like, crackers, sparkling water, something like that?
Julia (as Val): Like a Gatorade.
Eric (as Preserver): I mean I can do one better is do you want me to.
Eric: Preserver looks at Multitool.
Eric (as Preserver): Do you want me to, like, is it cool if I do my thing because you don't have.
Amanda (as Aggie): That's right.
Eric (as Preserver): You don't have any more?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, she-- she can heal shit.
Julia (as Val): Oh fucking hey, we need one of those because Milo never heals us.
Amanda (as Aggie): That would have been helpful, right?
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Julia (as Val): I know he has those spells he just never fucking does it.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: Wow,speak ill of the dead Vulcani.
Julia: You're fine. You just didn't come through the mirror.
Brandon: I'm dead on both planes right now
Eric: Tuna is sitting on your-- on your body's face just, like, kind of curled up.
Amanda: Aw.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: It's hard for you to breathe. And then like.
Eric (as Preserver): I don't even know what the effects are but if Lou.
Eric: Lou looks bad.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I don't know. You two weren't there when she got crushed by our refrigerator.
Amanda: That's true.
Eric: But like.
Julia: Yeah, but she's fine.
Eric: Her HP is not great.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): Please she's first priority and you can tell us what happened to Milo while you're at it.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. Please.
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah, that's I-- Okay, I'll do. Let's see if I can do that and this is usually not my job in the--
Amanda (as Aggie): Wait, who's on your team? Are you working with fucking Emily?
Eric (as Preserver): I [stutters] I need to do one thing at a time. I-- You are, I didn't know I was so stressful in the other universe. You're gonna have to --
Julia (as Val): Aggie, why can't you multitask in this universe? What happened?
Eric (as Preserver): I have to --
Amanda (as Aggie): I spend all my time preserving shit and not doing shit I guess.
Eric: -- do one thing at a time and I do that 100% the way that it is. You don't do one thing by itself. Thank you.
Eric: Okay, here we go. What do you think Preserver's healing looks like Amanda? Do you think it's different or you just think it's the same?
Amanda: I think it's probably a lot more ritualized. I think she probably has, like, a cloth or a balm or salve, to put on people or maybe just, like, a lot of-- kind of meditation that she has to do to get into it. I imagine this is a lot more laborious for her than it was before.
Eric: I like that. I like that it's laborious, or it's ritualized. So, she, like, puts her hands over Lou, and it takes a while for her to get, like, warmed up, but like, the energy that's coming out, the lights of this is stronger. It is brighter than you are ever able to do in your timeline, so Lou-- Lou is healed for a good amount of damage. Lou looks a lot less beat up. Like, Lou lifts up her shirt a little bit and there was just, like, a big bruise that went, like, from her ribcage down to her thigh on her, like, the right side of her body. And you can see it just, like, fade away right in front of you.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you.
Eric (as Lou): Be like, Look, you can see IceCorp. The name which was embedded in my body, but now look, it's gone.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you.
Eric (as Lou): From the refrigerator.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, no I got that.
Eric (as Lou): I don't have a tattoo that says IceCorp.
Amanda (as Aggie): You're too young for a tattoo. When you're older.
Eric (as Lou): You're not my mom. My mom also would say the same thing, but you're not my mom.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay.
Eric (as Lou): You can be my mom if you say I can get a tattoo.
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): That's not how it works.
Julia (as Val): Can I be your parent? No. Get-- I'll bring in to a guy I know.
[Eric chuckles]
[Amanda sighs]
Eric (as Preserver): I don't like-- I don't like anything of what's happening here.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you, that was really helpful. Can you tell us what happened to Milo?
Eric (as Preserver): What? Well, you asked me so many things. What is the thing you would like me to say next?
Julia (as Val): What happened to Milo?
Eric (as Preserver): Okay. Um.
Eric: We're gonna switch over to Brandon.
Amanda: Shit.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Of course we are.
MIDROLL
Eric: Brandon, you're back in the Anubis' place. The shag rug carpet on the ground. The white nothingness that stretches-- stretches everywhere. You see that Anubis has set up the living room, which is where Anubis has, like, the-- the big L-shaped couch that the three of you, you, Tuna, and Anubis watched Ozark on. And uh, the TV has static on it right now. Tuna is-- is on top of one of the parts of the L-shaped couch just, like, purse, like a little loaf like cats usually are. And Anubis is holding the remote control and saying.
Eric (as Tuna): Milo, you're late. Did you bring snacks?
Brandon (as Milo): Milo sort of, like, stumbles in and, like, rushes in and says. Anubis, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to rush you. Like, you're the god of death, you know, no one rushes the god of death but like I'm in a-- I'm in an upstairs. I'm dead on the ground and a security thing about to be discovered. And that can’t happen. I brought you a DVD. It's a new show called Yellowstone. It's like.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): It's like Ozark but different. And um, I did not bring snacks. I forgot this time. I have a few crushed up, like, peanuts in my pocket if you want them but, like, I probably wouldn't. I need help. Can you help?
Julia: What is with our team and having nuts in our pocket?
[Eric laughs]
Eric: It's a delicious snack.
Brandon: Lots of protein. You know,
Eric (as Anubis): I've heard of Yellowstone. There's so much death in that and you wouldn't think it because there are horses and things but no. You can just sit down, we're gonna-- we're gonna watch something.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Eric (as Anubis): It's helping. I promise.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, I sit down.
Eric (as Anubis): Alright.
Brandon: Milo sat out loud. And as he sits down like a weirdo.
Eric (as Anubis): Are you com? Are you comfy?
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, I would love it if you had a blanket.
Eric (as Anubis): I mean, which one would you like?
Eric: As Anubis, like, reaches down into nothingness and opens something up and it's like a chest. Like, a full, like, pirates chest. And it's just overflowing with different types of blankets. There's heavy blankets, and light blankets, and wool blankets, and soft blankets and knit blankets. And like, blankets that are-- that are, like, they're not knit. They're, like, sewn in that way that it's like you can see the opposite coloring of it.
Eric (as Anubis): So yeah, you can just take a blanket.
Brandon: Milo grabs the fluffiest softest, fairly, like, heavy blanket that is magically doesn't shed anywhere and puts it over himself.
Eric: Make a dexterity saving throw.
Brandon: Goddamnit.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: JYou jinxed yourself. Picked a heavy blanket.
Brandon: Natural one. Is that bad?
Eric: Yeah, that's pretty bad. Anubis has +7, two dexterity, so as you reach out to get that blanket Anubis' big paw, jackal paw just [whooping noise] on top of your head as you reach out for the blanket be like.
Brandon (as Milo): What? What?
Eric (as Anubis): Do I want that one? No, I don't, you can have it.
[players laugh]
Eric: Just doing some cat role playing while we figure out what's happening in the story.
Amanda: This is why the people helped us go weekly, Eric.
Eric: I hope so. I hope so. That's what we were looking for.
Eric (as Anubis): No, you can have it. It's fine.
Brandon (as Milo): Thank you. And Milo curls under it, so you only see the stuff, like, right above his top lip.
Eric: I love it. It's comfortable. Tuna curls up in your lap as the cherry on top of this couch Sunday. And Anubis says.
Eric (as Anubis): Okay, we're gonna watch something, but you have to watch the whole thing. You can't look away, alright?
Brandon: Okay, are you gonna fuckin' I was trying to think of the fucking novel and I-- in my head I said Orange is the New Black and that's not the name of the novel.
Julia: Clockwork Orange.
Brandon: Close. Close.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Anubis): No, it is not a Clockwork Orange situation, bhut I'm saying you should watch the whole thing.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Eric (as Anubis): Okay.
Eric: Anubis uses their big paw and pads down on the power button. And I don't know if you would have even seen it, but I guess for, because we've all lived in the fiction. You're looking into this lab, into Preserver's lab. This is the same security camera that Preserver had just thrown on the screen for the other folks. But yeah, you're taking this in for the first time. You're looking down on it. There is, you see Aggie and Val and Lou is, like, next to a weird spot on the ground, which is weird. And then there's someone who looks a lot like Aggie, wearing a big rounded hat with a blade on it and wearing a lab coat who is kind of, like, gesturing kind of around the room.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh cool. Is this your, like, AU fanfic video thing?
Eric (as Anubis): I'm still working on that, you know that.
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Anubis): No, you just need to wait and watch.
Eric: So, let's swap back to the other timeline, to Preserver's lab.
Julia (as Val): What happened to Milo?
Eric (as Preserver): I didn't put this together until right now, until we had touched hands in the mirror. Do you want me to talk about anything else? I can.
Julia (as Val): I would love to know what happened to Milo and then we can discuss other things.
Eric (as Preserver): Sure. Do you know the knight?
Julia: Also, I think Vulcani turns to Multitool and just like.
Julia (as Val): Aggie, I'm sorry. I don't mean to talk so rude to the other you.
Amanda (as Aggie): I would talk a lot ruder to her. Go for it.
Eric (as Preserver): Do you know, do you know who the Knight of Mirrors is? Apparently, the Knight of Mirrors is a sentient motorcycle. It's not an actual body on there.
Julia (as Val): What?
Amanda (as Aggie): What?
Brandon (as Milo): What?
Julia (as Val): For real?
Amanda (as Aggie): No, no. Stop distracting us. I want to know about Milo.
Eric (as Preserver): Is that what happens in your universe?
Julia (as Val): We don't know.
Amanda (as Aggie): We don't know.
Julia (as Val): We haven't unmasked them.
Amanda (as Aggie): Apparently, they have a wife and they take Date Night really seriously.
Julia (as Val): They did say that, I don't know if we believe them, but they did say that.
Eric (as Preserver): How can, how can a sentient motorcycle have a wife? That doesn't really make any sense.
Julia (as Val): Well, we don't know that they're a sentient motorcycle.
Brandon: Do you hear? I know I'm not here, but do you hear yourself? How does a sentient motorcycle have a wife? That doesn't make any sense? Do you hear yourself?
Eric (as Anubis): Anubis says yeah, that sounds, like, kind of a plot hole I don't believe it either.
[Amanda and Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Alright. What happened to Milo? Go.
Eric (as Preserver): Okay. If that's what you want to know, that's what you want to know.
Amanda (as Aggie): Why are you saying it like that? He annoys me like family but that means that he's like family.
Julia (as Val): Can't be any worse than me where I'm apparently a crime boss.
Amanda (as Aggie): Cool name though.
Julia (as Val): It is a cool name. Vesuvius? Fucking a.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Preserver goes over to the big computer and moves stuff around, closes a bunch of tabs, and just keeps closing, keeps closing, keeps closing tabs. And then finally, on the desktop and then you see Preserver kind of, like, go over and click on. Preserver uses Firefox, of course.
Julia: Obviously.
Eric: Preserver goes Firefox and brings up Instagram and brings up a user called Laketown Cindy 2005.
[nostalgic music plays]
Eric: And you scroll through and you see that there's a bunch of photos is from this one, kind of in her, in her mid 50s And there are a lot of photos of her just, like, doing mom things, you know? Like, taking a photo of, like, her.
Julia: Like, one of those wine and paint places maybe?
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Yeah, like wine and paint places.
Amanda: Farmers market.
Eric: Yeah. And then also, like, in the park that's next to Lake Champlain. There's a photo with her and some of her friends outside of the massive Monty statue that's out in the Welcome Center. And you'll see there a bunch of photos her with the guy, another guy who's kind of in his mid 50s and you start to look a little bit closer and you see that this woman looks pretty familiar to you, but you're never, I don't think you've ever met her before and then you, like, you identify something you're like "oh, those are Milo's eyes, and that guy has Milo's hair." And one of these photos are the two of them taken at a Star Trek convention.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Aw!
Julia: I didn't know nerdom was genetic, but let's go.
Brandon: Yeah, you love, you love to hear that.
Eric: And you start putting some of this stuff together and then Preserver says.
Eric (as Preserver): I, I didn't remember him until we touched hands, but something that Dr. Morrow told me to look out for was she knew that when the Delta radiation explosion thing happened, gave her one superpowers. The Delta radiation also kind of loosened the ley lines, the bonds that keep the mystic, the unexplainable, separate. And she knew right after the Laketon explosion, or a few years after the Laketon explosion, she knew that nearby, there was a family that had a baby boy. And this was one of the first children that had been born since the explosion happened. Much like what's happening to the three of you, his, after a few weeks, they noticed that his body parts would phase in and out. His skin would go translucent. His organs would glow. He was in terrible pain. The couple had come to Dr. Morrow, to ask them what to do. They weren't sure what was happening here. And then, one day, they told her that the baby was fine, but the baby wasn't here anymore. And Dr. Morrow said What does that mean? They said that overnight, a cat had snuck into their house. All the doors were closed, so I'm not really sure. They weren't sure how it had happened. And the cat perched on the crib of the child, of the little boy. And the cat spoke to the, to the mother and the father, to Cindy and to Ralph. And they, and the cat said and Dr. Morrow did the impression I don't know why, said [Tuna impression] I can take care of your child. The cat seemed to have been a representative of Anubis, the god of death. Anubis said I know. I don't know.
[players laugh]
Eric (as Preserver): You're and they said they, they were obviously alarmed.And then the Cat said [in a Tuna impression] not like that, really.
Eric: And then Anubis turns to Milo and says.
Eric (as Anubis): It really wasn't like that they just--. There's no real good way to do it. You know?
[Amanda and Julia laugh]
Eric (as Preserver): Anubis said that this child had been born in the wrong timeline. And Anubis could take him to the right timeline, but they had to give them up immediately. It was for the safety of their child, so they did what they had to do. The cat picked the kid up by the back of their little t-shirt and slipped out the window and they were gone, but the cat had said that he wouldn't be alone. He would find someone who loved him. And that Anubis would always look out for him. I'm now realizing that child was Milo. That cat was tuna. And I guess I always knew that Anubis was real. I never really.
Julia (as Val): No. He's not though, so that's, that's okay. That must be the difference in our timeline. Think again.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Aggie): Let's just call a new St. Peter while we're all together, that'll just go a long way.
Eric (as Preserver): Right. I assume. Yeah, Vulca-- no, Vesuvius is still incredibly Catholic here, so that makes a lot of sense.
Julia (as Val): I mean, don't be rude about it.
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Julia (as Val): Can I ask a follow up question? Did Dr. Morrow tell you what the last names of Cindy and Ralph are?
Eric (as Preserver): Well, yeah, you can look, you can look on here. This is her Instagram, her name, her name. And she, of course, she put her full name on it.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, because she's 50-years-old? Sure.
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah, yeah. This is it. Cindy and Ralph Fitzgerald.
Julia (as Val): Fitzgerald. Okay. Thank you.
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah. I wish Milo had been here to hear this, but you can just tell him when you see him again.
Julia (as Val): Sure.
Amanda (as Aggie): We will.
Julia (as Val): If he asks, you know, it's not my business to tell him whether or not. I don't know what his feelings are about his birth parents and that's fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): If he wants to know we'll make sure he does.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, of course.
Eric (as Preserver): Well, like, let him. Don't be like, Oh, on the off chance you asked he asked specifically if I --
Julia (as Val): No.
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
Eric: -- was involved in the whole thing and then you should, I just, I want to be very clear about what you're going to do.
Amanda (as Aggie): I do a lot more communicating than you it seems, and I got this. You might be surprised, but it is possible to have a sit down dinner with all members of our family without anybody breaking, screaming, crying, yelling or thrown up.
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, so our universes are very different.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah. The only family dinners I get now are with the team that I'm spending all the time running, so I don't get a lot of time to see them anyway.
Julia (as Val): So, who's on that team?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes.
Julia (as Val): Let's follow up on that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Eric: Hey, all of you make constitution saving grace, please.
Julia: Yeah. I'll keep doing it.
[dice clanks]
Amanda: I brought up my Inara dice. That's how shit I've been rolling.
Julia: 25.
Amanda: 13.
Eric: Cool. I rolled a 9 for Lou.
Brandon: Poor Lou.
Amanda: He's got a healer now.
Eric: Yeah, take eight points of psychic damage.
Amanda: Alright.
Julia: That's a lot.
Eric: Val take 4.
Julia: 4? I rolled a 25.
Eric: I know. You take half damage.
Julia: Boo!
Eric: Welcome to derblins and derblins.
Julia: I hate this.
Amanda: I hate that.
Julia: I'm not familiar with half damage. What's that like?
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Back on the couch, Anubis says.
Eric (as Anubis): So, do you want to watch Yellowstone? I don't. Is it like what's yellow? Is it like, is it like a gritty Yogi Bear thing?
Brandon (as Milo): What's ye-- Do you not know colors? Anubis, wha--
Eric (as Anubis): No, like what is the-- why is the stone yellow? How does that have to do with the plot?
Brandon (as Milo): It doesn't have to-- Anubis, hang on. Just give me three seconds please. Okay?
Eric (as Anubis): Okay.
[silence]
Brandon (as Milo): So, is Tuna always dead? I don't understand.
Julia: All cats are dead. They have nine lives.
Brandon: That's true.
Eric (as Anubis): No, Tuna is actually-- Tuna is my cat.
Amanda: Aw.
Brandon (as Milo): So, are you Hank Lane?
Eric (as Anubis): No, you're-- Hank Lane is your dad. He's a real, he's a person and he found a cat. And he found, and he found a baby boy at the same time. And then he adopted both of you.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay. Are, are Cindy and Ralph still kickin' around?
Eric (as Anubis): No, they don't, they don't.
[Eric sighs]
Eric (as Anubis): I don't know a better way to say it like, than like this but they don't exist in your timeline. You shouldn't have been born to them. It was the way, the way that the weird seas of time work. They don't exist where you are.
Brandon (as Milo): No. Yeah, I get that. Are they still around in the other timeline?
Eric (as Anubis): Oh, yeah. Like, they went to Legal Seafood two days ago.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Julia: Okay. Real treat.
Amanda: Real treat. That's Wednesday date night.
Eric (as Anubis): They each got both one cup of clam chowder and then shared it.
Julia: Aw.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: It's so sweet.
Eric (as Anubis): You can see. It is just on their Instagram. You can see that. Oh, I guess you can't actually with your, it was on their Instagram in the alternate timeline Instagram. Also, Instagram has two M's there.
Julia: Sure. It's Imstagram.
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Eric: That's where the M is, yeah.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Thank you, Julia. 100 comedy points to you.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: They can be redeemed at the Eric Silver arcade fair. You can get a sticky hand, you can get fun parties.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon (as Milo): So, they're fine then. They.
Eric (as Anubis): I mean, they're sad if that's what you're asking, but they wanted you to be, they wanted you to not. You don't remember. I didn't want you to remember but you, it was, it wasn't good. It hurt. They're sad, but they did what was right for you. And also, you got cool ghost powers because of it. Well, they didn't know that but, like, that was an added bonus.
Brandon (as Milo): Did I get the ghost powers from moving to the next timeline or did I already have the ghost powers and then I was just, the bad stuff went away in the other timeline? Or did you get the ghost powers? Or.
Eric (as Anubis): Well.
Brandon (as Milo): Please god don't tell me Tuna gave me his powers.
Eric (as Anubis): Well, you know how all, sometimes you know facts really quickly, but you've kind of, like, shaped your whole mind around knowing, like, Star Trek and things. And you just, like, know it really quickly when you go to bar trivia.
Brandon (as Milo): Like, you talked about in generally like everyone does? Yeah.
Eric (as Anubis): No, that's just, that's you only, that's your, that was what you got from your parents. When in order to keep, keep a small human baby alright, moving from one to another, you needed some extra help. So, I gave it to you. And yes, Tuna gave you ghost powers. You should be thanking Tuna.
Brandon (as Milo): Goddamnit.
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric (as Tuna): No, I'm just kidding. Meow.
Brandon (as Milo): Sorry, Anubis dammit.
Eric (as Anubis): No, it's fine. You can, you don't have to do that.
[Brandon chuckles]
Brandon (as Milo): Well, I guess I gotta say thank, thank you for looking out for me. Can I call you uncle Anubis?
Eric (as Anubis): If you don't call me uncle Anubis from now on, I'm going to take your soul from your body and you'll never live another day on the way here ever again.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): Alright, unc-ky.
Eric (as Anubis): I like it.
[players laughs]
Eric (as Anubis): Wonderful, a whole lot, but we have to keep,actually no wait, we have to keep watching. You can't watch. We can't watch Yellowstone yet.
Brandon (as Milo): That's fine.
Eric (as Anubis): Okay. I really wish you had brought snacks.
Brandon (as Milo): Do you want peanuts? I can give you fucking peanuts.
Eric (as Anubis): Why do you have peanuts in your pockets?
Brandon (as Milo): Why do you not?
Eric (as Anubis): Because I am a put together god.
Julia: Also, he doesn't have pockets.
Brandon: Anubis says as he licks his own fur.
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric (as Anubis): Don't look at me. No. I'm your uncle. I'm your uncle Anubis.
Eric: Let's walk back over to Preserver's lab.
Julia (as Val): Who's in the super team? Now, we're very concerned because you might be working with Emily Slaughter and if you say Shannon Redwine I think I have to kill you legally.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Preserver): Who is Shannon Redwine?
Julia (as Val): Okay, good.
Amanda (as Aggie): Excellent
Julia (as Val): That's a good answer to that question.
Amanda (as Aggie): Best thing you said all day.
Eric (as Preserver): Got it. Yeah. So after Dr. Morrow had been sucked into a black hole that she had made and, and January disappeared, I had to kind of clean things up. It's not just us versus the bad guys. There's something, there's something else here. There's a company called Supr. Supr.
Amanda (as Aggie): God, I hate it already.
Julia (as Val): They're run by a man named like John Press or Gutenberg or something?
Eric (as Preserver): Yes, you have John. Okay. John Press. Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): No, he just goes by John Press. He runs a for hire superhero company where all the super people show up. But of course, you know, they have surge pricing and priorities for different people so...
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh god.
Eric (as Preserver): It's...
Julia (as Val): You know, he's making them all with pixels, right?
Amanda (as Aggie): They're not real.
Julia (as Val): They're not real people. He's making them. Like, that's his superpower. He can make physical objects out of pixels.
Amanda (as Aggie): God, I just realized that means he pays no wages. He's even worse than I thought.
Julia (as Val): Oh god, he's getting so much money then.
Amanda (as Aggie): Ugh.
Eric (as Preserver): What do you mean his superpower is that he makes them? What was that
Julia (as Val): He's superpower, he can make, like, either from whole cloth or copies of things out of, like, 80s pixels.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, so it looks real but it's actually an illusion and they can appear, like, is there a situation where it's like oh, there's, like, a house on fire and then a guy appear just like a big fire hose and they can be made exactly for what the situation needs.
Eric (as Preserver): That happens all the time.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): One out of three times. It is explicitly like that.
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean, probably good for fires but, but bad for us. Yeah, no, he's just making them out of pixels. They're not real. Do they have like, like, silly names and no personality?
Julia (as Val): Like, Jack Hoover?
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Eric (as Preserver): We don't have that one. We...
Amanda (as Aggie): It's after the dam. It was about water. It was boring.
Julia (as Val): It was, yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): Well, I, you know, coming up with names is hard.
Amanda: Interesting in the fiction, interesting in our D&D but John Press doesn't have as much creativity as Eric Silver does.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Julia: We're just trying to burn Jack Hoover and the characters, not as the creations of Eric Silver.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Preserver): Yes, they do have terrible names that are on purpose all the time.
Amanda (as Aggie): They're on purpose. They're, they are single use names. That's, that's the point.
Eric (as Preserver): Oh my god.
Julia (as Val): Well, I'm glad we could reveal some interesting truths for you.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, no, I'm glad this went two ways. And we were in the bottom of the Office of Technology Assessment. Do you have one of those? It's like the CIA but for, like, government liaising around Delta technology and stuff. It doesn't matter. A clan, a clandestine office that Milo's dad, Hank, who raised him ran, and then he stepped down to ran for, to run for mayor after Dr. Morrow resigned, and I surprisingly outed myself as a hero, etc. It was a big dramatic day. We're very different. But we, we were there looking for an artifact that would help us discern who is real and who is pixel to help us in taking him down.
Eric (as Preserver): Do you have that technology here? Can I see it?
Julia (as Val): Well, we could have but Milo decided to stay behind.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes, he has it. And he's trying to get out of the OTA right now.
Eric (as Preserver): Okay, I can, I'll, we'll figure out a way to reverse engineer. That's okay. That's fine. Thank you. No, that is, that's really helpful. We didn't know where any of those people were coming from.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): That's, I'll tell the team as they're out. I'll send out information.
Julia (as Val): Right. Again, members of that team are?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, just real quick for us.
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah, no, I can give you.
Eric: Make a constitution saving throw as Preserver run, runs over, like, a filing cabinet and pulls out a pamphlet and hands one out to the three of you.
Amanda: 16.
Julia: 22.
Eric: You all save, so you take three points of psychic damage.
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: I'll read and go through the pamphlet really quickly. Preserver is now the, is the leader of a superhero team called the Preservation Society.
Julia: That's kind of awesome.
Eric: It's very like the fam, the Batman family thing. Like, it's very much like boots on the ground. They can't, like, do magic or, like, shoot fire. It's very much, like, beating people up. Their Preserver is kind of like the leader and Dez has taken into this Dr. Morrow stuff. You see that Dez is in a mech suit.
Julia: Cool. Whoa.
Eric: Which is just, like, he's already a big dude, but then there's, like, it's more of, like, an exoskeleton that is, like, just a lot of bands of metal kind of wrapped around him that end on two massive, like, blades that come to incredibly tiny points. His name is Okum.
Julia: Oh, I gotta tell him about that.
Amanda: That's fucking awesome.
Eric: Yeah. You see that Fritz with his beard and his wild blonde hair. It's kind of just, like, him in like, I don't know what to say more than, like, athleisure with like some like, you know, shoulder pads. He is North Star. And the last one is Emily Slaughter. Still u, still unmasked. Emily Slaughter looks a lot less girlboss-y. She's again, all in athleisure in a different way. Still with her purple Katana, but her name is Edge Case.
[Amanda chuckles in excitement]
Julia: That's quite a name.
Amanda: Kind of awesome.
Eric: She has her hair pulled up into a very, very tight, like, ponytail that goes very high. I don't even know how you do that, it's just very impressive. But like her, there aren't, like, dangly charms on her, on her sword anymore. Like a child iPhone.
Julia: Like a keyblade.
Eric: Yeah, like, it's not like a keyblade anymore, it's just like a very powerful Katana. She shoves the pamphlet in your hands. And she says.
Eric (as Preserver): Can you tell me anything else before? It sounds like you're kind of deteriorating while you're here. Can you tell me anything more about John Press and things as we can kind of put it together?
Julia (as Val): He used to work for Dr. Murrow.
Eric (as Preserver): Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): He was terrible.
Julia (as Val): He had a grudge against her.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, his performance reviews were shit. And he has a total grudge against her. He tried to run for mayor and has tried to unseat her a bunch and, like, lost to her early on in Laketown city. And it seems like he is more public in your universe than he was in ours. He was more kind of covert and trying to unseat her, but if she's been gone now for a few months or years, then maybe there was less resistance.
Eric (as Preserver): Well, no, I guess no one knew that he had superpowers, so that's kind of a big thing to deal with. Val, can you tell me a deep secrets about yourself so I can defeat your evil version of you?
Julia (as Val): Um, no?
Eric (as Preserver): What are you allergic to?
Julia (as Val): I'm not allergic to anything.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Preserver): Are you a heavy sleeper?
Julia (as Val): No.
Eric (as Preserver): Who are your loved ones? Can you give them --
Julia (as Val): No!
Eric: -- an itemized list of names? It sounds like you still have the evil version with you here. It's doesn't seem to be any different. If you won't tell me.
Julia (as Val): Keep personal truth to a weird version of Aggie.
Eric (as Preserver): I'm not. If you won't tell me how to defeat you then obviously you're working for the Vesuvius as it is.
Julia (as Val): I didn't even know that I was a bad guy. What the fuck are you talking about?
Amanda (as Aggie): What makes, what makes Vesuvius bad?
Eric (as Preserver): Can you give me your mom and dad's first, middle and last names and social security numbers?
Julia (as Val): No. I don't even know my mom's social security number.
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, this isn't even helpful.
Brandon: You know your dad's though?
Julia: Yeah, because he doesn't have one. He burned it.
Amanda: Made up. It's all fixes, baby.
Eric: He burned it off.
Eric (as Preserver): Ugh, fine.
Julia: Like, fingerprints burned them off.
Amanda (as Aggie): What, what makes, what makes them evil? What, why are you saying evil? Why? I know I said it earlier but I was kind of rattled by this whole situation. Like, organized crime is an, is an infrastructure and there are things that are bad about it but I see a world where, where Vulcani is trying to, I don't know, like, steer it for good.
Julia (as Val): Am I. Did I try to stop by, like, bettering my city or something?
Amanda (as Aggie): Right.
Eric: Preserver goes back over to Firefox and Google's Vesuvius + murder.
Julia: Oh god.
Eric: And like, just hundreds of new stories popping up.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Vesuvius brutally killing people for their own gains. It sounds like Vesuvius is running just the Vesuvius family, which is all over cities on the Eastern Seaboard.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia (as Val): I do feel kind of bad about this.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): I know I personally didn't do it, but I do feel a little bit bad about it.
Eric (as Preserver): So, what are you allergic to?
Julia (as Val): I'm not allergic to anything. I am strong.
Eric (as Preserver): Who do you trust most in the world?
Julia (as Val): Do I also have fire powers here?
Eric: Clicks on one on, one article. Vesuvius burns 100 People in rival gangs.
Julia (as Val): I will say, I'm not immune to fire.
Amanda (as Aggie): And they really care about Little Italy.
Julia (as Val): I super care about Little Italy.
Amanda (as Aggie): Like, imperil a single cannoli.
Julia (as Val): Don't fucking threat Little Italy. I don't care if this isn't my timeline.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm just saying, like, if you appear to imperil a single cannoli I think they'd probably come
Eric (as Preserver): Interesting. Interesting. Okay, that's helpful. No, that is helpful.
Julia (as Val): Val just looks at Multitool. Fucking rude.
Amanda (as Aggie): What, what? What?
Julia (as Val): A little fucking rude.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry.
Julia (as Val): A single cannoli? Come on. I bet Vesuvius version of me has like, you know, bigger plans.
Amanda (as Aggie): Val, if I bought a cannoli in front of you and then dashed it to the ground, you would punch me in the face.
Julia (as Val): I would but that's a different story because I know you and that's fucking rude.
Eric (as Preserver): You two really, there. I fought Vesuvius a few times, very similar this whole thing going.
Julia (as Val): I love this.
Eric (as Preserver): It's just not. I'm just, just pointing that out. Okay.
Julia (as Val): This Aggie hugged me, like, 10 minutes ago. When was the last time you hugged Vesuvius?
Amanda (as Aggie): It was unusual.
Julia (as Val): It literally made me cry.
Eric: Make a constitution saving throw, please.
Julia (as Val): You should hug Vesuvius is what I'm saying.
Julia: God, I rolled another 1, so a 25.
Amanda: 9.
Eric: 11 points of psychic damage, 5 points of psychic damage. Alright, it's in again. Your, your body glows and Lou is like.
Eric (as Lou): I don't want to get healed again. I feel weird. I don't, I don't like it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, how do we get back to our timeline?
Eric (as Lou): Maybe we just push our well, I'll just, we push our way back through. I wouldn't come back here. It feels like that was a one time thing.
Amanda (as Aggie): Probably yeah. Shall we try?
Eric (as Preserver): Hold on.
Eric: And Preserver kind of, like, looks around their lab like they're looking for something. And then, goes to a filing cabinet that has, like, a smaller filing cabinet in it, that has a smaller filing cabinet in it and takes out a key fob and offers it to you.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you.
Eric: And the key fob is encircled in brown.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you. What's, what's this for?
Eric (as Preserver): Dr. Morrow always said to me that if anyone ever, if I ever got in trouble we should push this to get help. And then she, you know, jumped on skis and went away, and went away for five days.
Amanda: Astro bear?
Julia (as Val): She does that in our timeline too.
Amanda (as Aggie): She does that to us too. Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): Okay. That's good to know. I never pushed it especially after, I especially after, you know, she sucked herself into a black hole.
Julia (as Val): Right, because you weren't certain maybe it would open up the black hole too.
Eric (as Preserver): That's it. Yeah, so that was entirely possible, but if you need help, you should push this.
Amanda (as Aggie): I will take it but are you sure you don't want it? It sounds like things are kind of hard for you right now.
Eric (as Preserver): It's hard, but we, we got it under control.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, also, gosh. Multitool puts a hand on Preserver's shoulder. Danny's kids have powers, watch out for that. If you teach Quin about TaskRabbit, she'll call you only about half as much. And yeah, Ryan's kind of a dick. Good luck.
Julia (as Val): If you want to defeat me, I don't know what my situation is here entirely. If my Aunt Min's around me a lot, maybe remove me from her.
Amanda (as Aggie): That's a good one! That's a good one.
Julia (as Val): And also my dad. He's also a bad influence. And then like, like I said, the hug thing might help.
Eric (as Preserver): Oh, you mean? Oh, that didn't happen in your thing. You mean Auntie Minotaur the enforcer for the Vesuvius clan.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Auntie Minotaur now?
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah, she was turned into a minotaur. She's like 10-feet tall.
Julia (as Val): Fucking crazy. Alright.
Eric (as Preserver): You've never seen a minotaur where a moo moo, but it's pretty wild.
Julia (as Val): Well, yeah, but just, like, remove her from my presence.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, that'll help.
Julia (as Val): And also my dad.
Eric (as Preserver): But it was like, it's like a sexy one. A sexy moo moo.
Amanda (as Aggie): Is it, like, tattered? Like, I've seen, like artful rips and stuff?
Eric (as Preserver): Yeah, yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): There are big scarves involved too. She likes big scarves.
Eric (as Preserver): Yes, yeah, that's true. Okay, that's good to know. I will look into that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, like lure her away with, like, a lot of pashminas. She'll follow.
Brandon: Is Multitool into minotaurs? Is that what we're learning?
Eric: No, Aunt Min is just like a hot lady.
Brandon: Oh okay.
Julia: Also a minotaur.
Eric: She's a grandma who keeps it tight.
[Brandon chuckles]
[ominous music plays]
Eric (as Preserver): Okay, let's, do you need my hands?
Amanda (as Aggie): Let's try. Everybody grab the mirror?
Eric (as Preserver): I, I don't know, but let's do. Can we do the vibrations again? Let's do the vibrations again.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, let's do that.
Eric (as Preserver): I don't know if that works, but it sure did seemed like a thing that worked, huh?
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Preserver): Alright.
Julia: It's almost like I rolled real well on those dice.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Preserver): Alright, two hands. Two hands. One Margaret O'Hare.
Amanda: I give her a hand a little squeeze and say.
Amanda (as Aggie): You're gonna be okay.
Julia (as Val): Oh, yeah, we should. Did you? Did you end up dating Tegan? They're cool. This version of Aggie dates them.
Eric (as Preserver): I don't have time to date.
Julia (as Val): Wow.
Amanda (as Aggie): That's a lie you tell yourself.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: She was dragged into mirror. The three of you tumble through as Preserver again, once again, gets into a perfect bent knees, 90 degree stance and, like, throws the three of you through the mirror as the three of you tumble out smashing the cardboard box that was encasing the mirror. And now, you also look up in the ceiling is, like, 10-feet above you when you all rollout. And that, and that is when Anubis says.
Eric (as Anubis): I think it's time to go. Tell them to press the key fob.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay. Yeah. Can I, yeah. Can I bring Hank here? Is that a thing that is possible without killing him?
Eric (as Anubis): I'll have to look into the bylaws, but we'll see.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay. Alright. Next time I'll bring Doritos? What are you into these days?
Eric (as Anubis): Yeah, thank you.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah.
Eric (as Anubis): Salty. Salty, over sweet always.
Brandon (as Milo): Of course. Of course.
Eric: Yeah. Anubis puts a big meaty paw on one shoulder and Tuna stays curled up in your lap. And then Anubis, like, pushes you in the shoulder and then you're back into your body and.
[whooshing noise]
Eric: And you see that everyone is all together again and was, and also the ceiling is 10 feet and coming down fast on your head.
Julia (as Val): Milo, why were you taking a nap? We have things to do. We gotta get out of here.
Brandon (as Milo): Press the damn key fob, please.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, and I press it.
Julia (as Val): How did he know about the key fob?
Amanda (as Aggie): I don't know.
Julia (as Val): Is this like 'cuz' he went to go see St. Peter and St. Peter was like, "Look into this, this glowing orb and now you can see what you need to do."
Brandon (as Milo): Shut up, Val. It's Anubis.
Julia (as Val): It's not fucking Anubis.
Eric (as Lou): I don't feel good.
[Lou vomits]
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh no.
Julia (as Val): Oh Lou.
Amanda (as Aggie): Despite, despite appearances, Lou was patched up. It's a long story.
Eric: And that's when you hear a thump from far off in the distance and then another kathump, kathumph, kathumph. And it gets faster and faster and faster. And then you just, like, a real loud, boom and boom. As something just, like, bursts through the portcullis. And you see that there is, like, a rather small mech suit. It has very long legs, very large feets and I guess two antenna that poke up out of the head. It's pretty, pretty large. And, you know, they're, they're like radars, so they look around, so it almost looks like bunny ears. And that is when the front of the mech opens up. And you see January sitting in the cockpit.
Amanda: Yay!
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as January): Being like, Is Dr. Morrow not here?
Julia (as Val): No.
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
Julia (as Val): We're in trouble. Can we get a ride?
Amanda (as Aggie): Is she missing?
Eric (as January): Oh, okay, everybody on.
Eric: And then you see, like, four jump seats come out of this, the side of the mech suit. Like you're riding sidesaddle on this giant bunny mech. Oh, also, it's, this is called the bunny. It's the Bionic Ultra Powered Neural Enhancement Yunit with a Y.
Brandon: Yay!
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia: Love it.
Eric (as January): Alright, strap in and don't let go.
Julia (as Val): Fuckin A. Let's do it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Lou, you got this?
Eric (as Lou): This is all gonna make me feel worse.
Julia (as Val): Lou, just hold my hand. If you fall off, I could just hold you.
Eric (as Lou): Okay. I'm gonna vomit on you.
Julia (as Val): That's, you know what, okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): You wouldn't be the first person to throw up on one of my pockets. It's fine.
Brandon: Milo picks the seat that's farthest away from Lou.
Julia (as Val): Wow, fucking rude, Milo.
Brandon (as Milo): Really? Really Val? [,:05:08] fucking rude.
Julia (as Val): Can I have my sunglasses back?
Brandon (as Milo): No!
Julia (as Val): Okay, fuck you. I'll take them later.
Amanda (as Aggie): January, is there any, any chance that, are there like, is there, like, trunk space and that's not a metaphor. Like, can we just pick up this mirror? Can you just, like, pop it in, like, a basket or something? It's, I promise it's, it's useful.
Eric (as January): Yeah, yeah. No, that's fine.
Eric: And you see that the bunny face, you realize, it just opens up. And there's like, kind of like a bike basket in the mouth of the mech.
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: You can just kind of slide it in there. and then close it back down.
Amanda: God, I missed you. God, I missed you.
Eric (as January): Do you know people don't talk about it because it's just like Golden Retrievers, but you know, it's really soft in a bunny's mouth as well.
Julia (as Val): That's incredible.
Eric (as January): People don't really talk about that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Can't believe it. Pretty good.
Julia (as Val): Could you, like, hold an egg in your mouth and not break it like a golden retriever?
Eric (as January): Yeah, but no one asked me to. I could.
Julia (as Val): Okay, do you want me to ask you to? We can find an egg later.
Eric (as January): Well, I, we just talked about it. It feels like you're doing it just because I wanted.
Brandon (as Milo): Can we fucking go?
Eric: You all strap in. And then like.
Eric (as January): Alright. I told you to hold onto your butts.
Eric: And then kazoom! And you're just, the rabbit hyper jumps through the hallway. Then just, like, springs up the elevator shaft as fast as possible. Kathump, kathump, kathump, kathump, passing past Oubliette 2, passing past Oubliette 1, up to hopscotch then a big, like, charge jump like.
Eric (as January): Hold on.
Eric: And it just jumped the entire distance of the hopscotch on the other side.
Brandon: Was what's their face?
Julia: Was the Sommelier there? Do we see her as we pass?
Eric: Oh, yeah. Oh that's right! Yeah, the Sommelier is just, like, sitting there and zip tied away and you see her for a second as the
Brandon (as Milo): Grab her! Grab her!
Amanda (as Aggie): Later, Milo.
Julia (as Val): No time.
Amanda (as Aggie): Later! January, don't grab her.
Eric: January. January wouldn't know so January has already jumped past. You see her for, like, a split second as January just jumps the entire distance of the. of the hopscotch. And then again, kathump, kathump, kathump, kathump, of the sides of the elevator up and the rest of the basement. And then back at the main lobby, just be like,
Eric (as January): Alright, we're gonna make our own hole here. Don't say anything.
Eric: And just turns upside down. Fucking pummels the side of the elevator as fast as possible to make a big hole out to the uh, this is, it is now nighttime in Laketown city. And you just jumped out into the Laketown city night. And now you're just, like, big leaps through Laketown city and you guys are heading north.
Julia (as Val): I text all the kids from this thing be like "Hey, sorry, I got delayed. Everyone, go home. We'll, we'll try again next week."
Eric (as Student): We went home hours ago.
Julia (as Val): Great. I'm so proud of you. You guys are independent people.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: I also make sure that the payment went through for the Sommelier.
Eric: Why, yes. You see that you are $20,000 less rich in your bank account.
Brandon: You see Milo, like, trying to reach over and trying to, like, press cancel on Val's phone real quick.
Julia (as Val): That's not how that works, Milo. It already went through.
Eric: And yeah, Milo you remember that the, the aviator sunglasses are in your pocket. The Hank-Bans.
Brandon: Milo puts on the Hank-Bans like he's in fucking CSI Miami.
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: As you put them on and you're jumping through Laketown city, you hear The Who start behind you. You put them on and you look around and it's a fall night in Laketown city. People are out and about, they're still doing stuff. And you look around and you knew that you were gonna see pixelated people, but I don't think you were ready to see that one in three people out in Laketown city are made out of pixels.
Julia: Holy shit.
Amanda: What?
Brandon: God damn it. Fuck.
Eric (singing): Won’t get fooled again!
[Join the Party theme music plays]
Transcribed by: John Matthew Sarong