The Nephews aren’t waiting around to get busted again; they’re making their move. Can the party notch their first win in the secret town bunker of these secretive townies? Milo burns up. Val moves into a dorm. Aggie asks for backup.
Housekeeping
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party…
Eric: Val, Aggie and Milo talk out their options with Dr. Morrow. Will they be a secret strike force or full-fledged superheroes with masks and capes? Dr. Morrow tries to ease their fears, ensuring that regardless of what avenue they choose, their private identities will be as protected as possible and they’ll have her support. She introduces the party to Dez, gravel-voiced Research and Development engineer on staff, who introduces some wild items to compliment their choice. As each character looked into their own past: Milo receiving a comic book by his dad around the time he was adopted, one of the many times Aggie saves her younger siblings from danger, and teenage Val fighting bullies on the streets of New York, they decide to pull on the mask and be crime-fighting superheroes. So, who needs to be crime-fought? Do you? Let’s get the party started
[Theme music]
Eric: The three of you are standing around a tree in the Historic Lake Town district, it kind of looks like a regular tree, it's lost all of its leaves blowing away in the harsh upstate New York wind October is finally bearing down, and you're gonna have to wear like a jacket over your sweater if you're going to go outside now. There might be snow, who knows? But it's you almost feel like it's coming, it's like inside of your teeth, and your bones now and it's 11:00 P.M. and you're standing in front of a tree, and you do not understand what you have to do next. We flashed back 24 hours ago in Dr. Morrow's cabin where she has laid out blueprints of Laketon with the Nephews super secret underground lair, pretty much underneath everything.
Amanda (as Aggie): I know ice cream money can't pay for a lair like this what was this?
Julia (as Val): Sure you know the ice cream money?
Amanda (as Aggie): It's—it's dirty money, it's all sticky I don't know what to tell you.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): That is definitely what they mean by dirty money, you sweet sweet summer child.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh is that what they mean by money laundering too?
Julia (as Val): Yes, that's cleaning the money, exactly right!
Amanda (as Aggie): They're actually made of cotton. I don't know if you knew that but the currency is really fiber based and not paper based so.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Aggie there's an incredible point everyone knows this isn't butter pecan or it's some kind of genetically modified butter pecan.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): I don't get the joke…
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): You're right, it's not ice cream money. I was thinking about putting a bunch of money in a washing machine and I got distracted but let's we ought to—let's pull back
Eric (as Dez): Uh if you guys are gonna get distracted like this should like set up a whiteboard or something?
Julia (as Val): I would love a whiteboard, thank you for always thinking ahead.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah that'd be great!
Eric: Dez presses a button on their metal prosthesis, and it's just like it's a purple like hard light white board it's like a like a smart board you could draw on it.
Julia: I love Dez so much.
Eric: So Dr. Morrow continues:
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): This wasn't here recently, Aggie you make a good point, I don't know it wasn't there during the last land survey that we've done throughout the city. This was built recently, and we don't know how, and we don't know why we just know that it's bad.
Eric: Aggie can you make a history check?
Amanda: Yeah.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: An 8.
Eric: Um yeah, there's been some construction in historic Laketon, but nothing major usually it was just like to fix like a lighting pole. or put in uh the first stop sign.
Brandon: The first stop sign?!
Julia: Only one stop sign.
Eric: Yeah it was a really big deal. Ordinarily you wouldn't need stop signs, but then the city lobbied, and then it was putting the first stop sign, and it was a huge deal.
Brandon: That's wild!
Eric: There was a clambake to celebrate it.
Julia: I'm so proud.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): As you can see that we don't have an entrance, or an exit but we do have an idea that there could be a hidden one somewhere maybe just take a look around see if you see anything strange. What I need you three to do before we can give you tights, and a domino mask, and even cooler weapons for you to fight crime with. We need to clean up the goon element here we can't have Nephews running around when we're— I don't know trying to capture a snow ape running around in the tundra of the woods or something.
Brandon (as Milo): Is that a thing we're gonna have to do?
Julia (as Val): It is concerning that you know, your first thought goes to snow ape and not, I don't know robbers or something.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No we're going above and beyond that. Listen, I don't want to speculate on super villains, I'm not the great comic book publisher Action Stories.
[Amanda laughing]
Brandon (as Milo): Nailed it.
Julia (as Julia): So close to copyright infringement there but alright.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Listen don't tell them that I talked about them, they they're very litigious, but I just go off what I know. I'm sure there's a snow ape running around somewhere. So you three get in there figure out what's going on, how this is made, and clean up the mess, and don't worry I'm sure that you won't have a rocky road.
Brandon (as Milo): Wow… wowza…
[Julia groans]
Amanda (as Aggie): Gonna move right past that one, what do we do when we apprehend them?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That's a good question, I don't know what do you what do you guys want to do?
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean turn them over to the police ideally.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! That's a good idea! Yeah!
Brandon (as Milo): Was that not your first instinct?!
Amanda (as Aggie): Do we have to explain anything? We put a note on their chest like a lost child?
[Eric and Brandon laugh]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No that's good! Yeah, yeah, if you tie them up, call 9-1-1 and then write a little note, they'll love that.
Amanda (as Aggie): I don't think they will love that but I will take your word for it.
Brandon (as Milo): You don't have like a secret like like red phone that goes directly to the chief police or anything?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): People have red phones to call me. I don't have red phones to call them.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay…
Amanda: Aggie’s a little starstruck, that's a really good line.
[Eric laughing]
Julia: It's very good, no question.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Milo I could give you a red phone to call me whenever you'd like.
Brandon (as Milo): I would love it!
Julia (as Val): Don't, don't do that.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It's not an actual red phone I guess you could just in your phone you can put a contact that says “red phone.”
Brandon (as Milo): Well if you're not going to give me a red phone, then I don't want a phone.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): On your actual phone. I'm not going to buy you a samsung and then I'm the only contact in it.
Brandon (as Milo): My phone's not red, so I don't know what we're doing here.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): But if the contact said “Red Phone” you would know what it is, and then it would be like a secret.
Julia (as Val): We could just get him like a red case for his phone, just a thought.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh that'd be cool! Yeah! Oh I like that I could mail— ooo yeah!
Brandon (as Milo): But then I would call other people it wouldn't be a phone directly to you, so what's the point?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Alright [Eric laughs] I can get you a burn— there could be a burn— alright here's what we're gonna do, Milo I will buy you a Cricket Wireless burner, I will paint it red, I will give it to you, and now then when I give it to you I'll say “only use this for emergencies” but then i'll wink how's that?
Brandon (as Milo): I would love that, yeah.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay remind me in like two weeks. Just give me— in two weeks remind me about this.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay!
Brandon: And Milo takes out his phone, and types a note in.
Eric: [Laughing] Brandon I expect you to write this down as a note so you remind me in two weeks.
Brandon: Oh I already am.
Eric: Okay good.
Amanda: Can I take a look at the plans before we leave and investigate them?
Eric: Yeah absolutely! All of you can do an investigation check on the plans.
Julia: Okay.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Ooh! That's a good roll.
Amanda: That is a 14 for me.
Brandon: I got a 15 plus one for a 16.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: If you’ll recall Eric, with my superpower I do get more details when I inspect floor plans, or the exteriors of buildings.
Eric: That's right that's a good point.
Brandon: That is the best power of all time.
Amanda: Thank you Brandon!
Julia: I rolled an 18 but -1 so it's a 17.
Eric: Okay so 17 and Milo got a 16 but Aggie you got your 14. Yeah okay let's start with Aggie, and then you two I will give you details as you go through so you will not be surprised about what's happening. But Aggie you can ask one question while you're still in front of Dr. Morrow in the flashback.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah where's the best place to enter this maze?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Great question, we have a run on a tree. Aggie have you noticed any strange-looking trees? Like you know when they take cell phone towers and they put branches on them to make it seem like it's a tree?
Amanda (as Aggie): Sure it's on it's on I-90, yeah.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yeah, yeah you know the one um have you seen anything like this around?
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean there's the tree that's definitely dead and no one's chopped down there's that one.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yeah start with that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay it's right outside the library so let's uh let's meet there tomorrow night?
Julia (as Val): Sure.
Brandon (as Milo): [Hesitantly] I've never been to the library can you give me directions how?
Julia (as Val): You are the nerdiest person I have ever met in my entire life. How have you never been to a library?!
Brandon (as Milo): I'm a fandom nerd! Not like—
Eric: I thought Brandon meant that specific library, I'm like “okay well he goes to the Industry City one obviously”
Amanda (as Aggie): Do you know where Ma's is? It's like four doors down.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay cool, thank you.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay—
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh no they took down the sign of Ma’s so he might not recognize that…
Brandon (as Milo): I know where I know where Ma’s is.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay it looks different now it just kind of looks like a building. Just want to make everybody aware!
Eric: Alright so before we hop back to the present, is there anything that you explicitly want to do immediately after leaving Dr. Morrows before you all go home go to sleep or whatever?
Brandon: Hmm, I would like to try to find out more about Dr. Morrow in terms of how trustworthy they are, and if they're legit.
Eric: That's a good question, so I'm giving all of you a flashback for you to use during this mission. So whenever there is an opportunity like you wanted to prepare something or you wish that you had done something during the day before this mission, I'll give you the opportunity to like do one skills check, set up a situation, and you have to use like a certain expend a certain amount of your HP depending on how involved it is or not. We're pulling this from Blades in the Dark, game nerds out there.
Amanda: It's like “oh no Brad Pitt's trapped in the casino! How ever will he get out? Oh wait, earlier today George Clooney paid off a guy.”
Eric: Exactly so that's how you do it like a heist, but this could be like oh I bought this thing, or oh I talked to this guy, or I intimidated this person. Something you would do the day before. So Brandon, for this specific thing, if you are in a situation where you need to know this, you can set up you talking to the spirit who you met in the museum. But now as you're leaving if you just like want to talk to someone or I'll just let you do an insight check
Brandon: Yeah it totally makes sense, and I think I will save the big one for later if I need it. But I think on the way out yeah I'll talk to January and ask them like
Brandon (as Milo): Hey January do you like your job? :ike are you treated well? Is this a good place—is this a good workplace do I need to call OSHA?
Eric: [Laughing] Alright roll an inside check.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: AHH! That one went off my table...
Julia: Go get it.
Brandon: Weeell!
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: That's not good.
Brandon: I do have a +5 to insight and that still gives me a 9.
Julia: Oh buddy.
Eric: Okay so remember insight is just how well you are seeing into their soul, like you have to just believe what they tell you or not you know whatever you know whatI'm saying so with a 9, I think January would say:
Eric (as January): Yeah! I love Dr. Morrow! I don't know who else would hire a rabbit, and then bring them to consciousness, and then treat them like they were a partner, and a peer uh you know I don't it's hard you know– it's strange but you know my people, we're really endangered in this area, especially just the way the climate change goes you know? My fur doesn't change if it is snowy, or not snowy and I'm still brown or white you know they could really get attacked by predators, and Dr. Morrow brought me in gave me a purpose.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah.
Eric (as January): She's great! I know you think she's great too!
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I'm a huge fan I mean I got that t-shirt from her tour in ‘89 handed down to me.
Eric (as January): Oh yeah that's vintage that's when she did like an old style like World's Fair road show, and showed off all of her stuff. It was called the World's Fair Too: But This Time I'm Doing It by Dr. Morrow.
[Everyone laughing]
Brandon: Yeah it was— I heard it was wild. I wish I could have been old enough to see it for myself, but um that's great to hear, yeah! I'm glad that you know, that you like living here.
Eric (as January): Hey, I'm glad. I know that she can be pushy sometimes and it's just really cerebral, but I'm glad that you're doing what you can to make the world better.
Brandon (as Milo): Thanks, I—
Eric: And he like hops over to you and like nuzzles you a little bit—
[Amanda and Julia gasp and awww]
Brandon: How soft is January?
Eric: Pretty freaking soft. But I will say it's like fur is soft, but also that's a good suit!
Brandon: Yeah, yeah it's like supple, it's really supple fabric.
Brandon: Yes an italian wool?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Only the best. I also like the implication of what you just said there is Dr. Morrow hired a rabbit, and then awoke it.
[Everyone laughing]
Julia: She's like “you know what I need? I need someone to help around the house, let me just get this rabbit. Oh the rabbit kind of needs a little bit of intelligence, huh? Alright well it's awakened now, and now I have a man servant a he’s a bunny servant!”
Eric: She was choosing the rabbit first, and then she like “I'm going to awaken this thing but first need to pick the rabbit I'm going to do.”
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: There's like a year of cutscenes where she's just like January get me tea, and it's just a cuts to a rabbit.
Eric: Okay so now we're back to the present and the three of you are standing around this dead tree and Aggie you notice that there's one branch on the dead tree that looks still alive.
Amanda (as Aggie): So do we think we should pull this branch?
Julia: Val's already pulling it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Great!
Eric: Alright so you pull the branch, and from the middle of the trunk is a keypad, and it says “password” and there are five digits it's like a 1980s laptop just like folds out of the trunk and it says “password” and then the five digits, the green on green screen.
Julia (as Val): The likelihood of it being ice cream is very low right?
Brandon (as Milo): Probably.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): It would only be ice cr, but I thought of that too.
Julia (as Val): But like I was saying you know if you take out the e's and the a's and the whatnot, then you could probably spell ice cream right?
Brandon (as Milo): Is it like a flavor of ice cream do you think?
Julia (as Val): No mint mint needs another one…
Amanda: Aggie counts on her fingers a lot of flavors.
Brandon (as Milo): We are also dealing with like teenage boys, so it could be 4 20 69, who knows?
Julia (as Val): It could just be penis, you are correct.
Amanda (as Aggie): It could just be boobs.
[Eric bursts out laughing]
Julia (as Val): [Nonchalantly] Can we try penis? How do we feel about using penis?
Amanda (as Aggie): I feel like boobs first is a better bet yeah I let's uh let's try it.
Julia: Do we have an indication that if we put the wrong password and some alarm is going to go off somewhere?
Amanda: Yeah can I investigate the keypad to see if any of the letters are more worn than others?
Eric: That's very good, do an investigation check.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 16.
Eric: The eights and the zeros are very worn.
Julia (as Val): It's boobs! You got it right! I can't believe it, good job guys!
Amanda: I type in eight zero zero eight five.
Brandon: That was the most pain I've ever seen you in, Eric.
Amanda: Eric looks like he had a really bad meal.
Eric: It's not— it's not even that, it's just like here's a little peek behind the screen here, sometimes you make puzzles and you see what your players do, and then you say like oh that's such a good idea, I really like that! So you guys were suggesting I had like ice cream ideas and I had really sweet things for Ma's but Brandon made a very good point that they're idiot boys. So I rolled to see if it was going to be a lewd password or a not lewd password and I rolled an 8. And then I rolled against Amanda's intelligence checks to see if they could disguise the fact that they were putting that in, and I rolled a 4. So I'm just like yes it boobs.
Julia: There we go! I love the background, thank you for that.
Eric: Like you knew originally it was like Ma's or something, and then someone reprogrammed it because they couldn't remember it and it became boobs.
Amanda: Like w-f-f-l-e.
Eric: Yeah I couldn't wait to the afterparty. I had to tell you that.
Amanda: Alright so I type it in.
Eric: Yeah! [Laughing]
Brandon: Classic Yabby move!
Julia: Yabby.
Brandon: Really Jimmed it up.
Amanda and Julia: [In sync] Really Jimmed it up!
Eric: He really jimmed it up. He was a real Jim jam, like I assume this is all just in character. I find that very funny. But as you're talking about that yeah the trunk of this dead tree just kind of descends into the ground, and then it goes [noises that allude to stairs appearing] as stairs just like pop out of the spiral that the platform lowering down has created.
Amanda: So we're basically stepping into a tree trunk that contains now a spiral staircase.
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Extremely cool.
Amanda: I've always wanted to do this.
Brandon (as Milo): What do you think the likelihood of Keebler Elves in here is?
Julia (as Val): I would say very low it okay.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, so we definitely have to do the crime thing then?
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): If anyone's hungry we should deal with that now.
Julia (as Val): Did everyone not eat a full trail lasagna before they came here? Or was that just me?
[Everyone laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): I really need to get on your like meal your dinner distribution.
Julia (as Val): Listen I burn a lot of calories you know vibrating and stuff, and sometimes you just need to eat you have to you have to carb up.
Amanda (as Aggie): No Ii'm jealous, that sounds great!
Eric: Val seems like the kind of person who like forgets to eat, and they’re just like “oh I haven't eaten in 26 hours!” and then eats an entire lasagna.
Julia: Yeah!
[Amanda and Eric laughing]
Eric: Amazing.
Brandon: Eric as we go down the stairs, can I roll a stealth check to see if either of the other two see me put on my batman mask?
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Yeah, roll a stealth check.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Can I roll perception, I guess?
Brandon: I did get a 17.
Julia: Oh I'm gonna roll perception, I have a 0 to perception, so this will be fun.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: I did get a natural 20 though!
[Everyone cheers]
[Brandon laughing]
Julia: So—
Eric: [Laughing] Oh my god.
Brandon: You like know the make and model of this mask, and where I got it from like—
Julia (as Val): The fucking George Clooney mask, are you serious? Get out of here with that shit! We're heisting!
Brandon (as Milo): I thought we might— I didn't want to be on the internet again, you understand.
Julia (as Val): Oh oh oh, so if there's pictures they're just gonna be like “look at this ghost batman who came and broke into a tree underground!”
[Eric laughing]
Brandon (as Milo): That's a good point…
Julia (as Val): You're already gonna already be on the internet, my bud.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah…
Brandon: And Milo slides the mask off.
Julia: There we go. Thank you. We’ll get cooler masks eventually, if we do this job well.
Amanda (as Aggie): So—
Brandon (as Milo): I don’t think there's any cooler masks than Batman’s but whatever.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): So I have a flashlight I can go first, and if we see any danger coming just I don't know make a make a low noise. Because I feel like element of surprise is the important thing for us here.
Julia: Can I do a flashback?
Eric: Yeah Julia what would Val like to do during the day I would like to contact River Greens.
Amanda: Ooooh!
Eric: Amazing okay, how would you like to contact him?
Julia: I have his phone number I think, I took his student ID that's what I did.
Amanda: Oh yeah, that’s right.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I'm gonna just show up to his dorm then.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: Okay yes if you want to show up to his dorm, you will have to give up 20 percent of your HP.
Julia: Yeah it's fine, I could do that.
Eric: Alright cool how many uh HP is that for you?
Julia: So I have 32.
Eric: Yeah so just give up 7.
Julia: Okay cool so that means I'm down to 25.
Eric: Wonderful, okay‚—
Amanda: Still more than me.
Brandon: Yeah still more than me!
Eric: So yeah you go to SUNY LTC and I feel like you you're at his dorm, you're rapping on his door.
Julia: Just pounding on it,.
Eric (as River Greens): [Muffled] Oh, oh shit! Hold up, cop, cop, cop!
Eric: And there's like a bunch of rummaging, and there's just like the smell of kush is really just coming through.
Julia (as Val): Listen you gotta share if you got weed in there.
Eric (as River Greens): [Hesitantly] N-no?
Julia (as Val): Yes, open the door open. Open the door.
Eric (as River Greens): Oh who is it?
Julia (as Val): Open the door.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as River Greens): Okay…
Eric: You see River Greens opens the door, he's wearing like a bucket hat right now, and a Dave Matthews t-shirt yeah that’s tie-dyed.
Amanda: Yes!
Eric: It's from the Crash Into Me tour.
Amanda: Wait can we can we do a little round robin here as to the posters on the wall?
Eric: Oh yeah absolutely Amanda you go first.
Amanda: It's definitely the pink soap fight club poster.
Eric: Perfect.
Julia: Ahh you took mine. Uhh Bob Marley.
Brandon: I mean there's gotta be that Godfather or Scarface poster in every college store.
Eric: There's that poster that's always that one of those two women kissing?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Do you know what I'm talking about?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: There's one really specific one that's yeah
Julia: It's in like black and white, I know.
Eric: Yeah, a hundred percent. Thank you, yeah River Greens has opened the door and behind him is the two other college students who were with him in the woods, and they both just— everyone just freezes.
Julia: Val just looks like
Julia (as Val): Are you two useful?
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): Are you two useful?
Eric: One of them puts a bong down, and the other one is holding their breath perceptively.
Julia (as Val): That is not an answer to my question, you can exhale the smoke now.
[Eric exhales loudly into the mic]
[Brandon laughing]
Eric (as college student): No!
Julia (as Val): You're not useful?
Eric (as college student): Noo…
Julia (as Val): Okay you can leave then, goodbye.
Eric (as college student): Okay, bye River!
Eric: Two of them run out.
[Brandon and Amanda laughing]
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric (as River Greens): Oh yeah hey, um person from the woods. What's up?
Julia (as Val): Alright, you seem like a nerd, you seem like you have some technological understanding of things.
Eric (as River Greens): Oh yeah? I guess so, yeah.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Amanda: [Mockingly as River] I did make a bong from an apple once.
Julia (as Val): That is not the kind of quality of work I'm looking for, not the craftsmanship I am looking for but I appreciate it nonetheless.
Brandon: I didn't hear that clearly I definitely thought you said “I bought my bong from Apple”
[Amanda and Julia laughing]
Julia (as Val): I need to know if there are people in a certain vicinity of me, sometime in the near future, and because you know everyone's got a cell phone nowadays, and everyone always has it on their person, I think you're the kind of person who could you know be able to tell if there are other cell phones in the immediate area, you understand what I'm saying?
Eric: Oh interesting alright so Val, what do you want?
Julia: Val wants to create like like be able to track phones within the vicinity so they know if they're coming upon a person underground.
Eric: Wonderful okay that's interesting, this is a tall order for a college student. Make a I wish there was like a technology role.
Julia: We can do arcana?
Eric: Yeah I was gonna say do an arcana roll, with the DC 15 you'll get something that helps you with the DC 20 you'll get the thing you're looking for.
Julia: Okay.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: I got an 18.
Amanda: Oooh!
Julia: Damn that’s close.
Eric: With an 18, he’ll be like
Eric (as River Greens): You know, I'm not that smart, but I have something that might be able to help you out.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric: And he takes out walkie-talkies. They look like they're modified from— it's like someone got them surplus from a construction site, but then like spray painted them like party colors, and it's just like “Party Talky!” on it.
Julia: Oh boy…
Brandon: What do you use that for?!
Julia (as Val): Do I want to know what you have been using these for?
Eric (as River Greens): It's to talk to each other in loud parties, if you're separated then you can all meet up and do sick things together.
Julia (as Val): Oh okay because you know people sometimes get social anxiety at parties because it gets too loud and overstimulating, got it, alright, let's do it!
Eric (as River Greens): Um well the thing is, is that if you're not on the right channel, you can hear other people's conversations.
Eric: So he switches the channel, and it's picking up like the campus security and they're like
Eric (as Campus Security): [Over the radio] Yeah, I got them, they're running down to the dining hall. I can catch them there.
Amanda: [Laughing] What's happening?
Eric (as Campus Security): They all smell like super duper smell like weed, I got them.
Julia: Val's gonna take them out of his hands, and be like
Julia (as Val): Thank you for your service, I will return them in a fortnight.
Eric (as River Greens): No it's fine you could just keep them, just don’t come back.
Julia (as Val): Okay, I can't promise I won't come back though. You gotta fucking behave yourself.
Eric (as River Greens): No please don't come back.
Brandon: Was that Val trying to connect with the kids by saying fortnight?
Julia: No.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Not even a little bit.
Eric: Amazing, alright so Val, you have these walkie-talkies I would say that he gave you two.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So they are just regular walkie-talkies, and also I'll let you do another arcana check for you to pick up like the radio frequencies that they might be using.
Julia: I'm gonna give it to someone else who might have a higher intelligence than me then.
Brandon: I have plus three to arcana.
Julia: Oh hell yeah I'm gonna hand one of them to Milo, and explain what they do as much as I can.
Brandon (as Milo): Why is it painted and say Party Talky on it?
Julia (as Val): Because it's for parties did you not go to college? I think you probably get to college?
Brandon (as Milo): I did! I—I didn’t go out much— uhh…
Julia (as Val): Okay!
[Transition note]
Amanda: Hey it's Amanda, I feel like you're either the kind of person who when you find an item of clothing that works for you buys it in every color or you're a person who has yet to hear the wisdom that when you find an item of clothing you really like you should definitely buy it in every color, this midroll is brought to you by t-shirt dresses.
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And now, let’s get back to the show!
Eric: For both Val and Milo you know where you are. So this is like this entrance hallway and there's like a main hallway that leads to the rest of the underground area, and there are a few different just general larger rooms branching off from there.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: It's more of a bunker than it is like a hideout there's not like a garage in one area, it's just like there's one big room, and there's another big room and there's one end secret entrance from the tree.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh man this is just like GoldenEye.
Julia (as Val): That— that's a James Bond movie... yes?
Brandon (as Milo): Well yeah, I meant the video game, but yeah.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric: So yeah you need to go down one hallway, and then there you take a left, and then it kind of branches off into two larger rooms.
Julia: Alright do we want to use the walkie-talkies real quick just to check to see who's around?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Okay cool.
Eric: Both of you make arcana checks.
Julia: I rolled a 14 -1 so it's a 13.
Eric: Okay cool.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: I rolled a 13 +3 for 16.
Julia: Hell yeah I'm glad I gave it to you.
Eric: Ooo, hell yeah. Okay yeah so Val you're switching around on all the channels, and you can't really hear anything. Bu Milo you are switching around, and you hear one channel you get to the the back end of a conversation, and you hear what a guy go
Eric (as Goon 1): [Over the walkie-talkie] I don't know why do we still need to stand here? Over.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as Goon 2): [Over the walkie-talkie] You don't have to—you don't have to say “over” every time, it's a walkie-talkie I know that. Yes you do just stand there, it's you— we're on high alert so you three stand in the hallway, I'm gonna be back, I'm gonna be in the back.
Brandon: Okay I relay all that information to my teammates.
Julia (as Val): Well there's a back part, that is good to know.
Amanda (as Aggie): and if we don't see anybody in this hallway, there must be another hallway.
Julia (as Val): Hmmm okay.
Amanda: When we were looking at the plans, did we get a sense of how extensive this is? Does it seem like it's just the two rooms in one hall, or did we see more evidence of a bigger footprint?
Eric: So there's there's like an L shape which is the entrance coming down, and there's a hallway and then you take a left and there's another hallway, and then there are theoretically two rooms on the end there.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): I guess let's head toward the back then.
Eric: Okay you guys poke around the corner, and you see that there are three guys just standing there in various states of alert. It's like they've been standing there for a while, and they're like looking down their shoes, and like messing with each other and like pushing each other a little bit. So there's just three guys standing there.
Brandon: Is there like a door that we have to get through?
Eric: Make a perception check, everyone make a perception check.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Okay well I got a 7 so...
Amanda: 9.
Julia: Also a 9.
Eric: Yeah at the end of the hallway there is a—
Amanda: You know what can I use luck point?
Eric: Yeah use luck point!
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: 12.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: Yeah at the end of a hallway, at the end of this hallway it just takes a right so you cannot see where it leads.
Amanda (as Aggie): What if we put one of the walkie-talkies back by the entrance, and use the other one and turn it up really loud, and then use the other one to sound like we are someone at the entrance?
Julia (as Val): Oh like I like that.
Amanda (as Aggie): They’ll run past us we can try to get them as they pass.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I like that or we don't even have to get them, if we can sneak past them, if Milo makes us all into shadow people like he did at the bank.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, yeah we can—
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry Milo was that not you? Am I getting you confused with somebody else?
Julia (as Val): I'm sorry was that was that another shadow person with a panther?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah that’s a good point. I definitely can't do that…
Julia: Wink!
Brandon: And then uh Milo starts getting prepared to cast the spell okay.
[Julia laughing]
Eric: Cool so you want to cast pass without a trace first?
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: I think we see that first, yeah.
Eric: Okay cool, so yeah Milo you can cast pass without trace and please roll in your spirit surge.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Holy shit I got a 1.
Julia: Seriously?!
Amanda: Ayyy!
Eric: Oh my god.
Amanda: I mean it's bad, but also it's fun.
Julia: Well it could be good, we don't know!
Brandon: So pass without a trace will give you a +10 bonus to stealth checks, by the way.
Julia: Great.
Brandon: And uh we leave no tracks or other traces of our paths.
Amanda and Julia: Excellent.
Eric: [Laughing] Oh my god.
Julia: Oh god, I'm so nervous.
Eric: Please roll a d10.
Julia: Oh sweet baby jesus give us a good one.
Amanda: Big money.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 8.
[Eric chuckles]
Amanda: Oh no, Eric's laughing.
Julia: I don't like that. T
Amanda: I hate when he laughs.
[Amanda laughs nervously]
Eric: Alright! [he bursts out laughing]
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: [High pitched] Okay! [Laughing] So Milo you cast pass without trace you connect with the spirit realm, you put your two hands on Val—
Brandon: I get consent first.
Julia (as Val): Yes you may touch me, it is okay.
Eric: You put your hands on them, and all of and you look down and all of you just look like shadowy to you. It's like your opacity got turned down, and now you can pass without trace. And both of you, you start smelling smoke and where Milo is touching you is getting very hot.
Amanda: I step back.
Eric: Milo, you look down and everything on your body your all of your clothes are smoking, and you see that little embers are popping up around like a campfire is starting. Brandon for the next minute everything you're touching is just on fire—
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: And you see that like the hand that comes out of the portal in your chest, it makes the motion like it's turning on a zippo lighter it like flips it open and sparks it, and then you just go fwoom and everything you're touching is a flame.
Brandon (as Milo): Uuuuhhhh this has never happened before!
Julia (as Val): You are… on fire.
Amanda (as Aggie): New plan, just run toward the back.
Julia (as Val): You are on fire, and that is very intimidating slash distracting, so let's do that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah run in circles tire them out!
Brandon (as Milo): They can't see me so I’m gonna stand here, and they're gonna think it's a fire, and you guys go.
Julia (as Val): How about you also light them on fire, just a great suggestion by me.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah yeah yeah! Just their clothes, there's a fire extinguisher outside, you'll be fine yeah!
Julia (as Val): It'll be fine! Stop, drop, and roll, it's all good!
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah sure I'll do that…
Julia (as Val): You don't have to stop drop and roll, you are not in pain correct? Just to clarify?
Brandon (as Milo): No it's just weird.
Julia (as Val): Great! Let's make sure those guys catch on fire then.
Amanda: It's the appearance of fire but not actually burning them right?
Eric: Milo you're not getting hurt. However, those men would. These are actually on fire.
Brandon: Yeah. So I'm gonna gingerly walk towards a space where there's nothing flammable, and then I'm gonna place a walkie-talkie down and I'm saying
Brandon (as Milo): Alright someone yell “fire” in the walkie talkie, and then we'll go!
Julia: Val just goes “FIRE!” and then runs.
Eric: You look down at the walkie-talkie and it is now melted. So when Val says fire it's like
Eric (as Walkie Talkie): [Low volume and muffled] Ire!
Brandon (as Milo): That's enough right?
Julia (as Val): Yeah it's probably fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh let's just run!
Julia (as Val): Okay!
Amanda: What a good idea.
[Eric laughing]
Eric: Oh amazing, okay you hear one of the guys around the corner goes
Eric (as Goon): Hey do you go do you smell something?
Eric: And they’re like
Eric (as other Goon): Yeah! Oh there's fire!!!
Eric: And they run towards Milo, they’re like
Eric (as Goons): Oh it's a fire we have to go get oh what do we do why is there a fire down there?!
Eric: And they're just yelling, I need the two of you to make stealth checks.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: I got a nat 20.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Fuck that's a 26?
Julia: I got a 31 technically.
Eric: Amazing, so yeah they don't notice you two at all. Val and Aggie, they just run past you they're running and they're like
Eric (as Goons): Oh what what did you have me— tell us what we were supposed to do?! Do we stop drop and roll if we see fire was there fire?!
Brandon: And I'm gonna start doing like jumping jacks to make the fire seem like it's getting bigger.
Eric (as Goon): No it's growing!! It's growing!
Eric: Okay so I'm gonna roll, this is important Val and Aggie are down the hallway.
Amanda: I'm gonna yell over my shoulder trying to replicate the goon I fought earlier
Amanda (as Aggie trying to mimic Goon 2): [Higher pitched voice] Oh get out of here guys!
Eric: Oh make a charisma roll.
[Brandon laughing]
Julia: No, guys!!
[Dice rolling]
Amadna: A 19, uhh plus…
Julia: No plus, minus.
Amanda: 18.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Alright 18 does it! So I need to roll about whether or not these guys follow directions enough that they're going to leave, but with an 18 I'm gonna make the dc 15. So they need to make charisma checks, and they all have 0 for charisma they need to roll above a 15 to stay with Milo. Because Milo I'm telling this to you as Brandon. Brandon this is only happening for a minute, and then eventually it's just going to be you.
Amanda: Yeah well that gives us what? Five turns? I think we can get it done.
Julia: Yeah!
[Dice rolling]
[Eric laughs]
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Or 10 turns because each turn is six seconds?
[Dice rolling]
Eric: Alright, yeah so I rolled a 4, an 11, and a natural 20.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Ooooh, oh no.
Eric: So two of the guys book it, they're like
Eric (as Goons): Oh we're gonna go, we have to go get the water from outside! We're getting the water from the lake!
Eric: And they run out, they're looking for like a bucket and then one of the guys like
Eric (as Goon): I know! I can just smother it!
Julia: [Laughing] Oh no.
Brandon: I'm gonna do a flashback.
Eric: Okay.
[Eric and Julia laughing]
Brandon: So my flashback is gonna be a planning session between me and Tuna in the night before.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: So we're going to make plans for every possible contingency we can think of. Because the only two people in the world that we can count on is each other!
Amanda: And even Tuna's 50/50 on that one.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: So a couple of the moves we came up with is like Tuna sits behind someone's ankles and I push them over, and they trip. Or um—
Amanda: This is an adorable.
Brandon: |Yeah some other ones that I can't think of right now, but that's the one that Tuna is going to remember what to do. So I'm going to use my wow companion and call on Tuna.
Eric: Okay give me— first of all give me 10 percent of your HP. I think like trying to get Tuna to pay attention is enough for 10 percent of your HP.
Brandon: Yeah it's fair, it is 21, so we'll take 2 or 3 away, I guess?
Eric: That's pretty close, yeah. Just do 2, 2 HP.
Brandon: Okay, so the idea is that I don't have to tell Tuna what to do. I just call in Tuna and they assess the situation, and they like to go to plan F for fire or whatever.
Eric: Got it. Okay so now make an animal handling check to see if Tuna was paying attention.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: Because this is in the flashback, like Tuna is like stalking around your room, and like you don't know if Tuna– like cats you don't know if they're actually listening to you, or not listening to you.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: I got 14 +5 for 19.
Eric: Nice! alright, so 19 Tuna’s like
Eric (as Tuna): Okay when would there be fire? That doesn't—
[Eric laughing]
Brandon (as Milo): I don't know Tuna but if there's a fire underground, we're all going to be screwed! So why don't you listen?
Eric (as Tuna): Mmmm the only fire I care about is the fire that warms up milk. Mrrow.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: But Tuna was paying attention, so where we flashback so now you do the do the wild shape, and uh this goon is about to smother you so I'm gonna do a grappling check they're gonna grapple against each other about whether or not Tuna can distract this guy.
Brandon: Great yeah, and I kind of want Tuna like try to push them over so they hit their head and like go unconscious.
Julia: Conk ‘em out.
Eric: Best case scenario yeah. Okay
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Tuna head butts him in the butt.
Eric: What's Tuna's dex?
Brandon: +2.
Eric: Okay so yeah you see Tuna poofs behind the guy, and he's trying to like sneak up on him and jumps on and goes RAAAR! and he goes AAHH! And he falls over all three of you are now just in a dog pile, pardon the joke. He is now trying to smother you like with his—
Brandon: Like with a fire blanket?
Eric: Yeah like a fire blanket, he's trying to put you out just with his whole body, also Tuna did push him into the fire so Milo you take three points of damage. But this goon takes five points of damage.
Julia: Nice
Eric: And Tuna is now distracting, he's now like confused. So let's go to Aggie and Val.
Julia: She's running.
Eric: You're running down so you take a right, and you're at the end of this hallway, and there are three rooms.
Julia: Are the doors open to any of these rooms?
Amanda: Yes is there light? Is there noise that we can sense?
Eric: Both of you make a perception check.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: 17
Julia: 16
Eric: Okay in all three of them, it doesn't seem like anybody is in there. On the one on the left, which is like a storeroom that has lights on, you know that there is actually nobody in there.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: The other two, you're not sure if you just can't hear anything, or there isn't someone in there but you know that the guy on the on the walkie talkie is in one of these rooms. That's all I can give you from standing if you don't want to approach the two doors.
Amanda (as Aggie): Split them up?
Julia (as Val): One second do you— how do you feel about stealing stuff from bad people?
Amanda (as Aggie): Great, that's my favorite thing to do.
Julia (as Val): Awesome, let's go right their storage real quick because they had some cool goo guns and stuff before, and I think that would be fun.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah let's run in there.
Eric: Amazing okay this is a very nice looking storeroom, I don't know which of them is like a Marie Condo aficionado, or just really loves Ikea but like everything is on pegboards.
Amanda: Incredible, I want to live here.
Eric: There's like a lot of nefarious things there's like rope, and like the shields, and some of the stuff that you saw from like the bank robbery. Is there something specific that you two are looking for?
Julia: I feel like one of those shields would be kind of cool we could use it as like a battering ram style that could be fun.
Amanda: Yeah and I think any kind of detection equipment, night vision goggles, sonar like sensory radar type thing.
Eric: Okay both of you make investigation checks.
Amanda: Like thermal imaging.
Eric: Yeah.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: I got a 15!
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: A non-natural 20.
Julia: Nice!
Eric: Wonderful! Okay Val, you see that they also have some of those ray guns that you saw from the bank robbery, and Aggie as you are looking around and I don't think that they would have like thermal detection, or like night vision because they're kind of just like goons. Like they're not that sophisticated, they only need the things they need. But you do see that like there's a lot of scientific stuff in here, like weapons like you're looking at you see that there's the ray gun that Val was talking about, and they have the shield, and there was that jet pack, and you don't really understand and then you see on the shield on the inside there's instructions. It seems like it's just like a rod iron shield that you're supposed to just hold it up. But then you look at the instructions, and it's like “To the idiots: one: hold up the shield. Two: don't get hurt, duh” and then below it where there would be like a name it's like there are three lines that look like a river.
Julia (as Val): It's fucking River, I know it! River Greens.
Amanda: I'll grab the shield.
Eric: If you hold the shield you get +2 to your AC!
Amanda: Alright!
Eric: The instructions, there's like a thing below it that says “if you don't want to carry the shield: One: jam it in the ground. Two: don't get hurt.” So you can like jam it into the ground, and use it as cover, which gives people a disadvantage on attacks against you if you jam it on the ground. It's surprisingly lightweight for something that's supposed to be like rot iron type.
Julia: Can I have one of those sick ray guns then? Eric, please?
Eric: Yeah you can grab a ray gun!
Julia: I would like a ray gun.
Eric: Yeah it's surprisingly heavy, but there's another set of instructions that it says “one: pull trigger. Two poof.”
[Everyone laughing]
Julia: Is this the same kind of ray gun that was in the briefcase that I carried to the First National?
Eric: Oh that's a good question because I did talk about the weight. Roll an investigation check.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Okay it's a 16 -1 for 15.
Eric: The weight seems similar.
Julia: Okay interesting.
Julia (as Val): I’m gonna hold onto this.
Eric: You can't say for sure, but you've felt this before. Alright let's go back to the man on fire, and Milo so the man is on fire—
Amanda: Can I do a quick flash back?
Eric: Oh Aggie, do a flashback.
Amanda: So I would like to flash back to that morning. Aggie got up a little bit earlier than usual and got double her usual order at Mountain News—
Brandon: Two newspapers!
Amanda: And went over to— exactly! And went over to the police station and she walks in to see Brian Roper on duty and sort of was like
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh hey like you got five minutes? Come outside, they gave me double coffee so I thought I’d bring one over for you.
Eric: He mimes adjusting his suspenders with his thumbs as he stands something like
Eric (as Brian Roper): [With a gruff voice] Uh Aggie!
Amanda (as Aggie): Listen, Brian I am going to be doing an inspection tonight, and I might flush out accidentally some ne’er do wells so I don't know if you would find it appropriate to park outside the library, I don't know about 11-10? And you see some kids running at you, well just ask them one question and I think they'll admit to some criminal activity pretty quickly.
Eric: Amazing, roll charisma with advantage.
Julia: Dumb teens.
Eric: You can do uh persuasion as well.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Ugh, it's only 11.
Eric: Okay with 11. Yeah Officer Roper takes the coffee, and the bagel and the Aggie blotter from you he looks at it and is like
Eric (as Brian Roper): You know Aggie this seems a lot more like your beat, you're picking up uh just ne'er do wells running around, I see— I read the Aggie blotter every week—
Amanda (as Aggie): You don't want easy callers that's that's on you. I'm just I'm just giving you a heads up man.
Eric (as Brian Roper): Alright uh what time?
Amanda (as Aggie): Alright, let's say 11:05.
Eric (as Brian Roper): [Smacks his lips] Huh okay.
Eric: Alright so Milo you're dealing with this guy just on top of you, and Tuna is on top, you're like struggling.
Brandon: A Tuna sandwich you might say.
Julia: Jesus.
[Amanda groans]
Brandon: Yeah! Thank you, thank you!
Eric: You hear “Freeze! LTCPD!” And then you hear “oof” as someone shoulder checks the guy off of you.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And you see there's this cop—
Amanda: Brian! This is not what we talked about!
Eric: This cop just standing over you like
Eric (as Brian Roper): What-what is happening?
Eric: And Milo you look down, and you are naked except for uh your underwear.
[Brandon laughing]
Brandon: Am I visible though? I still have pass without trace on.
Eric: Oh that's right! Roll stealth!
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Well I got a 17 +2 is 19, +10 is 29.
[Everyone cheering]
Eric: Oh wow, he's just like staring down at you and—
Brandon: I freeze because I don't know if he can see me or not.
Eric: This cop is like
Eric (as Brian): I—was there a cat here? He's like looking around and Milo, he does not see you but Milo, you are nearly naked that is confirmed.
Amanda: I bet there's some clothes in the store room!
Brandon: And cold. I'm a little chilly.
Eric: Officer Roper is dealing with the goon who is on top of you, so yeah you can uh you can do whatever you want.
Brandon: Yeah I mean I'm gonna slip back past them, and and go back to join my friends.
Eric: Yeah so you see the two—
Brandon: Sans clothes.
Eric: Yeah you run over there and then Milo is standing there just in his underwear.
Amanda (as Aggie): I think I saw a jumpsuit in there.
[Eric and Brandon laughing]
Julia (as Val): What is your underwear made out of that it was the only thing that didn't burn off your body?
Brandon (as Milo): It's—it's uh… Batman inspired underwear, it's bulletproof… it's flame proof.
Julia (as Val): Jesus, my man, my dude.
Eric: [Laughing] Kevlar underwear!
Amanda: That's very cool.
Brandon (as Milo): It’s kevlar underwear.
Eric: Amazing, okay yeah there is a jumpsuit in the storeroom if you want to pop that on.
Brandon: Yeah I immediately quickly and shamefully put the jumpsuit on.
Eric: Amazing.
Brandon: What’s it look like?
Eric: It's just like a mechanic's jumpsuit. You can see that like there's some rudimentary costumes in here, but it's just like sweatshirts with big hoods, and like and this is a mechanics outfit that just says Steve's on it.
Brandon: Gotcha.
Julia (as Val): Alright so uh the other two doors?
Amanda (as Aggie): We can just kick them down?
Julia (as Val) We can just open them up and see what happens. Alright cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah so I'll take the far right one, Val you wanna take the middle one?
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay and we'll kick it down on three.
Eric: Yeah alright, both of you make an attack roll against these doors.
Julia: Sure I'd like to go into a rage before I enter if that's cool.
Eric: Smart.
Julia: Cool.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Uh I got a three so I'm going to reroll with a luck point.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Why amIrolling so many nat 20s?! What is happening?
Amanda: Dang!
Eric: Damn!
Amanda: I got a 19.
Eric: Alright Val, you kick open the middle door, and it just like poofs it's like you're in a karate movie, it just like opens up and then you hear “OOOH” and a body crumpling the floor, and you look around and it's Yabby from the bank heist. Yeah he's like
Eric (as Yabby): Oh what why would you do this to me?
Amanda (as Aggie): Eat dirt, Yabby.
Julia: So dumb.
Brandon: Don't make sexist passwords.
Eric (as Yabby): I didn’t— how did you know I put boobs?
Julia (as Val): Who else would it have been?
Eric (as Yabby): Any of us! We all thought it— was we all thought it was funny!
Julia: Can I just put him immediately into like a sleeper hold or something?
Eric: Yeah grapple them.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: We'll just do a grapple check.
Julia: It's just a strength check right?
Eric: Yeah and I can use dex cool.
Julia: And I get an advantage on that.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Jesus what is happening?!
Brandon: Did you get another nat 20?
Julia: YES!
Amanda: Dang!
Eric: I rolled a natural 1. You immediately just get him in a hold. I don't know— describe what this looks like to me!
Julia: It's just like I got him up in a like a full nelson, like my arms are under his armpits, and then holding him around the neck.
Amanda: With a Val backpack, how adorable.
Eric: Yeah and Val you can just easily carry them around if you'd like.
Julia: Yeah that's fine.
Eric: Okay I think immediately, he's just like
Eric (as Yabby): Don't! Don't I'll give you whatever you want! Just don't go in there!
Julia (as Val): Oh well we're going in there guys!
Eric (as Yabby): No I told you not to! Please don't go in there, please I told you not to please!
Julia (as Val): Yeah he gave us the perfect place to go, so we're going in there!
[Brandon laughing]
Eric (as Yabby): Please don't!
Amanda: Was there anything in my room?
Eric: Yeah with a 19 you kick open the door, so yeah the the rest of the hideout down there seems to be like it was dug out, there is like rudimentary trying to put like an underground base together. But this is really like it seems new, it's shining it's like chrome everywhere, and it's freezing in there. It's like someone built a walk-in freezer just attached to the rest of the this underground bunker. And Yabby is like thrashing against Val like
Eric (as Yabby): Don't—don't go in there! Please don't go in there!
Eric: When you walk into an underground freezer you would think you would see like hanging stakes, like meat like in a Rocky movie but there's only one thing in here. At the far side of the room in a large cylindrical— I guess container is the only way to describe it, with her hands pressed up against the glass, and peacefully laying there is what looks to be a 65 year old woman, with gray hair tied up in a bandana, and Aggie his is Ma of Ma's Ice Cream shop.
[Everyone gasps]
Amanda: No!
Eric (as Yabby): No don't! It looks a lot worse, we're trying to help her it looks a lot worse than you think it looks like!
Brandon (as Milo): It looks real bad!
Amanda (as Aggie): Is she sick what are you doing?!
Eric (as Yabby): Of course she's sick! We don't know what to! Oh yes she's sick!
Amanda (as Aggie): You didn't think to go to the foremost scientist in the world with this problem?
Eric (as Yabby): Yeah because Dr. Morrow's gonna listen to the Nephews, just like it's always been!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah she would!
Eric (as Yabby): No she wouldn't! I know that she wouldn't!
Amanda (as Aggie): You wanna bet?
Eric (as Yabby): Yes! No don't—no don't contact no!
Eric: You see that he like he's he realizes that he's yelling and he like catches himself, and you look over to the cylindrical container, and Ma's eyes open.
Julia: Creepy!
Eric: And she says
Eric (as Ma): What? I how—I didn't mean just I didn't mean to sleep this long, I thought I was just I was just trying to nap. What's—what's happening? Is this… Did I get stuck in the— in the walk-in freezer again?
Amanda (as Aggie): Ma'am, I believe your nephews were trying to help you, and preserve your life. Would you like us to seek medical attention for you?
Eric (as Ma): Aggie! Aggie, it's so good to see you I haven't— you've grown, you're— you're so I don't know, you look good you look so good!
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean, I miss your chocolate chip cookie dough.
Eric (as Ma): Yeah I meant yeah we haven't I even got a chance to really get my hands into the bakery in a while, can you tell your friend to put him down? Please?
Julia (as Val): No.
Eric (as Ma): Yabby just he doesn't— he talks he even I know, I think he just talks too much.
Amanda (as Aggie): Ma, I believe that they've kept you here against your will. We're here to rescue you and I want to ask you before I do something rash. But we are working with Dr. Morrow on some revitalization projects, and I think she could help.
Eric (as Ma): Ahhh, that stuck-up asshole.
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean if it's a stuck-up asshole who will save your life then you know?
Eric (as Ma): The boys were just trying to help, I know that they were. It's fine, it's it looks bad but, it's really fine. Can you let him go?
Julia (as Val): First off, apologies ma'am, but no. Because he is very loud and I'm worried he's going to run off, and make things worse.
Eric (as Ma): Yabby will you stay where you are?
Eric: And Yabby just very like he's just looking down at his shoes, and he's just like
Eric (as Yabby): Yeah, yeah Ma, I will.
Eric (as Ma): See he said he was gonna stay.
Julia: Val just whispers in his ear
Julia (as Val): I will destroy you if you do anything bad,
Eric (as Yabby): I’m not—
Julia (as Val): I will destroy you. Okay great I'm letting you go now.
Eric: I like the idea that like you're not that much taller than him would you have like six inches off the ground.
Julia: I'm probably shorter than him to be honest.
Eric: Yeah definitely, and he just like he lands on the ground, and then goes like stands over in the corner.
Julia: and Val continues like
Julia (as Val): Ma'am I don't want to speak out of turn or anything, but I also know that selling ice cream cannot usually afford this level of technology that's hanging out in here.
Eric (as Ma): This isn't— it's not ice cream money I can tell you.
Julia (as Val): Yes, I can see that, I know how much money an ice cream person makes. Where did all of this come from?
Eric (as Ma): I have a question for you, if you’ll indulge an old woman who's seen a lot. This is honestly wonderful, I love this. What are you three doing here?
Julia (as Val): Usually I don't prefer for my questions to be answered with a question.
Eric (as Ma): Fair, but alsoI'm the woman in an ice tray so I think maybe you'll afford me the kindness.
Julia (as Val): I'm not about to afford kindness to people who have you know, in the past tried to run me over with ice cream trucks, or um—
Brandon (as Milo): Rob a bank.
Julia (as Val): Rob banks while I was there trying to buy a chair. In general not feeling super generous right now to kind of sum it up for youI'm sure you're a very nice lady ma'am and I respect that, and I respect your age, and what you you know bring to our community but I would like answers.
Eric (as Ma): Well, that's fair. You seem like we would make a great pair, you and I. Ice cream and pizza.
Julia (as Val): Concerning that– okay.
Eric (as Ma): I just got— I got the are you not of an Italian descent?
Julia (as Val): So that means I have to make pizza? Okay.
Eric (as Ma): I have family from Sicily right from the time they were from Sicily.
Amanda: Tip of the boot.
Eric (as Ma): They’re right on the tip of the boot. Obviously my boys can't afford this. They've done their best, quite a lot, but they had help that's true.
Eric (as Yabby): Ma! Don’t tell ‘em! Don’t tell ‘em!
Julia (as Val): What did I say about you speaking again huh?
Eric: Yeah he looks directly down at the floor.
Eric (as Ma): Okay I know the jig is up Yabby. Most of you are in jail, it's–they're here for a reason. My boys got help from the only ones who would help them out.
[Ominous sci-fi music fades in]
Eric (as Ma): When you're down, when no one else will help you, the tide [voice distorts gradually] regardless rushes in, the water flows down from upstate from upland, and down, and the people's river [voice sounds entirely robotic] is here to wash everything away.
Eric: Val make a dexterity check for me.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Oh yeah well there there's the opposite spectrum of the rolls I've been rolling. That's a 1.
Eric: Oh Val thank you! You feel a Yabby move like move out of your range, and he like slaps something on the wall, and he takes his hand away, and there's a blue button with the case pulled up, and it goes “WAAH WAH WAH!” A voice comes over just like a PA system and it says “Ma escape plan activated” and there's a [whirring sound] as the the cylindrical container it hydraulics up, and then you see that from the ground the cylindrical container had metal legs attached.
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: And two compartments like bust out of the cylindrical body, and there are two arms.
Brandon: Oh my god.
Julia: God damn it.
Eric: And like they power up, [hydraulics whirring] and then there's a countdown that says
Eric (as Countdown): Five, four, three,
Eric: And the mech that Ma is in turns towards the wall of the freezer she turns around and waves to you three and says
Eric (as Ma): [Robotic voice] I'm sure we'll talk again soon, don't be too hard on the boys.
Eric (as Countdown): Three, two.
Eric: And then Officer Brian Roper just runs into the room he says
Eric (as Brian Roper): [Frazzled] Lake Town— Lake Town City PD— what?! What is that?!
Eric (as Countdown): ONE.
Eric: And the mech just busts through the ceiling like Super Mario just like leading with the fist, and it jumps through the ceiling of the walk-in freezer. There's just like a big hole leading up into the beautiful October night sky.
Julia (as Val): Why does ice cream keep fucking me what the hell!?
[Ominous music fades out]
[Theme music]