- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.

- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman

- Multitude: https://multitude.productions

About Us

Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.

Transcript

Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!

[theme]

Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.

Eric: Let me just list off some stuff that's happened in the last few episodes. Umbi almost died multiple times, Audrey used her immunity from the diamond knot consortium of all the world's governments to protect herself, I don't know if that went well. The sniper was Threelips Archimedes Sevens then threw Threelips into the ocean and Troy was okay with that. The pirates assembled for the meeting were run out and zombified by zombie pirates. Kid Cervantes shot holes through Audrey's fleet. Salix was massive, but then was laid low by the zombies. Who knows what's happening with him. Lustrous is just somewhere I don't even know. And then the pot that Audrey the Rotten Queen was planted in was shattered, releasing a weird nasty sap that has set its sights on more destruction, especially killing you know, the three pirates that destroyed its containment system. The party's over, let's clean up.

Eric: 1.4 nautical miles away from the island with the pirate meet and the big whale things skeleton and we're the place where all those zombies died and fell apart and turned into mulch. A captain is leaning over the side of his ship, observing the island from a telescope. I think that we've gotten ray tracing and our JRPG, we were up to the newest Gen so it's like we see the eyelid in the telescope.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: And we see the reflection off. It took the programmer so long to get that right. The engine did not want to work with that.

Brandon: It no longer works on the switch, it's just too powerful.

Eric: No we can—we couldn't put it out for a switch it's way worse. It chugs. Your switch is sounds like one of those Boeing's that like fall apart in the air, it sounds like that.

Julia: That makes sense.

Eric: The entire time.

Amanda: I was gonna say my like 94 desktop but—

Eric: They're same.

Brandon: They kind of similar though Amanda so you know.

Eric: The Boeing 747 also run on Windows too fast.

Julia: Same technology.

Brandon: They probably do honestly.

Amanda: Clippy, looks like you've a problem.

Brandon: Looks like you're trying to install a door.

Eric: Looks like--

Amanda: Did you mean for this window to be a door? Oh, he really likes this one.

Julia: We broke him. We broke him.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): Yar. This is terrible. But at least we're going to get paid. Alright. Switch the sales we don't need—we don't need to keep it up anymore.

Eric: Up at the top of this pirate ship, there is a flag you—we have not seen before. It is four skeleton hands holding on to each other, each of I'm grabbing the other's wrist in a you know, four of them covered together and some sort of diamond pattern. In each of the skeletons are different color. One is white, one is yellow, one is red, and one is the dark royal purple. You know, each of them signifying a different color of the four Verda Stello flags.

Julia: Tough.

Eric: Also, what kind of bougie motherfucker has colored pirate flags. Like what are we doing?

Amanda: Right? Did he embroider it?

Julia: You have to pay for those dyes? Do you know how expensive other colors of dye are.

Eric: You know how fast that's gonna bleach in the sun, like, come on. Come on.

Brandon: Do you think that we have some sort of like, chlorophyll technology in this world where it's like, the dyes and the colors are like way more steadfast and like they get recharged by the sun?

Eric: Yes, and does this make printer ink less expensive or more expensive?

Brandon: Oh, Eric, it's so much more expensive.

Amanda: It's basically like tattoo.

Julia: Well, it's because like it's people have to donate their blood, like a bunch of indigo people had to donate their blood to make sure you had the color cyan. Go fuck yourself.

Brandon: It's like a horseshoe crabs situation.

Eric: That is so dystopian. If we were doing something else, there's like an entire group of people who created like a monk cult, because they have to like sacrifice their blood for printer paper.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: Be like—

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): Yar, at least we're getting—at least we're getting paid.

Eric: And this flag, this colored flag the diamond knot flag is being swapped out just for a black privateers flag.

Eric (as Sailor): Captain Pinebeard?

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): Yes. What is it?

Eric: We're looking at the captain who is just a big pineapple man, with a big pineapple beard.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: It's you.

Eric (as Sailor): Captain, tell me again, what we're gonna do with the money?

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): Aye, we're gonna divide it equally. We're going to take the -- we’ve been taking the jobs that we're going to take. And it was worth it so that each of us are going to come—come about our goals in the way that we wanted. Like, for example, you sailor, what are you going to do with the money?

Eric: Hey, Amanda, what is this—what is this pirate on the ships got to do with the money.

Amanda: Yeah, this is a is an aloe plant, and he's going to invest in this thing that the guy from his hometown was selling him, which is like a boat, but instead of water, it flies through the air. And there's no prototype yet, but like with this one investment, it's gonna— it's gonna change the world. It's gonna change the world.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): Aye, sounds like a brilliant disrupting invention.

Amanda (as Aloe Pirate): Thank you, Captain.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): I—and you the third mate, what are you going to do?

Eric: Julia, what is this pirate gonna invest their money in?

Julia: I think this is a little like Roly Poly bug kind of dude, and he's like,

Julia (as Roly Poly Pirate): I'm gonna give it to my mom so that she could finally have her dream retirement of selling pizza out of a truck.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): That's definitely gonna make your mom love you the most out of your 17 siblings.

Julia (as Roly Poly Pirate): Yeah.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): And you the lowliest tiniest cabin, boy, what are you going to do?

Eric: Brandon, what is the lowliest tiniest cabin boy going to do with their money?

Brandon: Eric, I legit was gonna say this is just a tiny little leaf.

Eric: Brandon, I didn't want to— I didn't mean to give you what you were going to do, but I felt like I knew what you were going to do.

Brandon: Yeah, I'm predictable now, this is not good.

Amanda: No, it's just Brandon coded.

Eric: No, it's your Bran—it's Brandon coded. This little leaf has a bunch of guns.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: True.

Brandon: The little leaf says—

Brandon (as Little Leaf): Aye, I'm gonna buy more guns.

Julia: Good for him.

Eric: It's like when you flip over a leaf and on the bottom side is like the most terrible bug you've ever seen in your life.

Brandon: Oh, it's like a two headed green folk. Yeah, like two sided greenfolk.

Amanda: Oh, that's cool.

Julia: That's a symbiotic relationship.

Eric: Oh backwards, oh and on the back is oh is a terrible bug that like kills you in seconds.

Brandon: Yeah, like on the front side is the cute little leaf and he says—

Brandon (as Little Leaf): Aye thanks for the money.

Brandon: And he turns around he says—

Brandon (as Little Leaf): I’m gonna fuck you up with these guns.

Amanda: Okay, if Umbi dies, Brandon remember this guy.

Julia: Remember the character, write it down.

Eric: I like them, I like them, I like them. Be like—

Eric (as Kid Cervantes): It's a good thing that we incorporated as a collective. A workers coll— workers collective of as privateers. It kind of aligns over the bad things that we've done and the money we've taken— taking things for, because our collective action means more than who we profited off of right—right sailors?

Julia (as Pirate): Aye.

Amanda (as Pirate): Yeah.

Brandon: Guys, do we want to join the diamond knot, what are we doing?

Julia: Sounds great.

Amanda: Sounds good.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): What is— what is that what's coming closer? It's coming, it's coming fast.

Eric: The Spyglass moves and is catching something moving very, very quickly through the sea. It is a sale of dried mulch, kind of like you know like a like a roof, that's a mud roof that is kind of stretched out put together with old bones and riding upon this Greenfolk made raft with a sail open is Kid Cervantes with an angry look on his face coming faster and faster towards the ship.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): I— turn! It's coming closer, it's closer.

Eric: And in the background you see the destruction of all of the zombie ships behind and even more a diamond knot ships burning behind him.

Julia: Hot.

Brandon: Fuck them up, fuck them up, Kid fuck them up.

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): Turn, turn the port! Starboard, whichever sides faster.

Eric: And then we hear [destruction noises] as we zoom out, and the ship has needles going through the entire middle, and then one side just slide into he water with all of the cargo inside of the ship and on top and all of the Greenfolk pirates—

Brandon (as Little Leaf): Oh, no.

Eric: — falling, tumbling into the sea splashing and falling below the waters. But of course, because—and the engineers did such a good job with this because this is the dissolving belt. We can see everyone below the water as it's so clear as nothing grows in there. We just see everyone reaching up trying to swim as the contents of the ship settle to the bottom of the sea.

Julia: But his mom's pizza retirement.

Brandon (as Little Leaf): I got fucked up by guns.

Eric: Captain Pinebeard falls, splashes into the sea, struggles in the water drowning and grabs onto a floating piece of jetsam that is going by. And it bumps up against Kids Cervantes his raft and he says—

Eric (as Captain Pinebeard): I— what are you doing? Why would you do this to us?

Eric: Kids Cervantes wordlessly leans down and absolutely domes this motherfucker.

Brandon: Shit.

Julia: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: And continues on his way cutting. A narrow awake through the sea. And now we see all you're watching everything kind of fall into the sea. As we can see everything's really totally crisp, totally clear water of the dissolving belt. And there is a current that is pulling and taking the cargo to wash up on the shore. We kind of see that there are like be big dark shadows of sea monsters. Swimming riding this current just as the cargo kind of whips alongside of it. Like little barnacles sticking onto the side of a giant turtle. Hey, that was—that was a pretty fucked up before, right? In the last episode.

Julia: Pretty fuck up, yeah.

Eric: The last episode, that was wild.

Amanda: You say Eric let's do a pirate campaign, and then you expect no one to die and got very close.

Brandon: Remember when you killed Salix and also you killed my new favorite character of all time, little leaf with bug on the back.

Eric: At this point, you should know that if you create an NPC out of nowhere I might immediately kill them.

Brandon: Bullshit man, bullshit.

Julia: It's fair.

Eric: I killed my own guy.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: I can't believe Kid Cervantes would do that to Captain Pinebeard.

Brandon: I can, he's cool.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: I can. Yeah, it was very competent.

Eric: I can't believe Captain Pinebeard thought that by his small action of worker collective kind of allied to the fact that he took money from the diamond knot. I thought that was rude.

Amanda: It's almost like no amount of good PR can outweigh sort of like terrible action.

Eric: I just don't know why he liberal washed him being a privateer for the diamond knot.

Amanda: He did.

Julia: Hey, man, nothing's black and white, it's all shades of grey.

Amanda: Is it red washing, do you think? When you like us you know worker power to like an excuse for ultimately capitalist acts?

Eric: I think it's— I think it's Rose Washing because the rose— the symbol for the Democratic Socialists.

Amanda: Oh yeah.

Eric: Yeah, so listen, y'all— y'all did a bunch of stuff. This is gonna kind of be a different sort of skill tree episode, because there is some stuff that we want to do that we are at a crossroads. But you can see that we are not at the hold. Especially as the three of you look around and everyone's just kind of like picking themselves up after a pirate zombie invasion.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: It's like this isn't my house.

Julia: No, no, it is not.

Eric: I don't live here at all.

Brandon: This could be my summer home though.

Julia: Oooh, interesting.

Eric: So we're— there's gonna be a little bit different here because there are some things you can do here at the skill tree. But there are some things that you can't. Because you're not at the hold. But first things first, because I forgot to say this before, and I just thought of it today, I want you all to level up to level 11.

Amanda: Oh, baby, I get some stuff.

Julia: Don't we all, don't we all.

Amanda: Troy's not gonna have zero wisdom or intelligence anymore. I can tell you that much you know.

Eric: Hey, hey. Wow, you're all so powerful and I'm so scared.

Amanda: Hooray.

Brandon: You should be. We're gonna fuck you up with Numbi.

Eric: No.

Julia: Numbis.

Amanda: The numbus.

Eric: The numbus.

Julia: That's what happens when one of Umbi's limbs falls asleep, he gets to the numbis.

Amanda: At any given morning, Julia, he just rolls the D 4 and that quadrant, it's the numbus.

Brandon: That was really good, Julia.

Julia: Thank you.

Eric: You have to roll twice when there's a storm coming. So we're gonna level up and— but we're also going to do our experience that we usually do during the skilled trade. However, since all of your various friends aren't here, you can't do it. And also I don't think you got any new— you didn't get any new amber during this arc.

Julia: Well, give me a second, give me a chance sir, to try to scrounge up some amber.

Brandon: I mean, it's got to be some dead pirates around here with their like bags.

Amanda: Oh, yeah.

Julia: 100%

Amanda: We'll definitely loot.

Julia: So many people got killed.

Eric: Okay, everyone roll—everyone roll an investigation check right now.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: 19 for Troy.

Eric: Jesus—

Brandon: Oh, 19 for Umbi-oh.

Julia: Oh, fascinating. Well, technically, it's a 21, but I did roll a Nat 20.

Eric: Alright, okay. Jesus Christ.

Amanda: Hooray.

Brandon: So I think we might get some amber.

Eric: Alright, you gu—you guys want to route around in people's pockets?

Amanda: Yes.

Brandon: Yeah.

Julia: I think like what Cammie would like to do is send Nonny to scamper around some of the dead bodies and just see you know, what's going on around there?

Amanda: Yeah, I think Troy's gonna drag them all toward the skeleton of the whale for a dignified send off in the way of the Crags. And if any amber falls out of the pocket, so like obviously just pick them up because it would be disrespectful not to.

Julia: Yeah, of course.

Eric: Sure. You put all the dead bodies in a pile.

Amanda: In a row, in an orderly row so that they can be returned to nature by being fueled.

Brandon: And then Umbi walks around and he's just like kicking the bodies to rattle them to see if an amber falls out and he's singing.

Julia: He knows what the sound is.

Brandon: And he's singing—

Brandon (as Umbi): —Winners, takers, losers we—

Brandon: What is it?

Julia: Finders keeper, losers weepers?

Eric: No, no, no. What you said, no. Wi-- winners, takers is much more aggressive.

Julia: It says winners are takers.

Eric: That sounds like what's it— like a professional wide receiver has that as his Twitter bio.

Brandon (as Umbi): Winners take, losers die.

Brandon: And then he kicks a body.

Eric: I like that. I mean, honestly, that's the equivalent of an old man going around with a metal detector.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Just doing it. No, that's fine. Alright, fine. Cammie gets two amber and Troy and Umbi just get one.

All: Yay.

Eric: You all rolled really well. I don't know what to tell you.

Julia: We did it.

Eric: Okay. So at this point, I think this is the same as like in any JRPG where you have to loot bodies, but there's like one NPC who's like I don't think you should do that, but it has no bearing on the mechanics. It's just like the— is like this is the meta commentary of what we're doing in the JRPG.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: And it's Havana. Havana is the one that's being like, I don't think you guys should do that.

Eric: Havana is trying to reconstitute bodies out of the mulch.

Julia (as Cammie): Havana, I will not revive those. I won't do it.

Eric (as Havana): No, I would— I would probably say you shouldn't.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.

Brandon: It looks like a snowman with like twigs coming out of it.

Eric (as Havana): I was missing some key elements of anatomy.

Julia: Cammie also puts a hand on Havana's shoulder and goes—

Julia (as Cammie): Isn't it nice to know that when you're brought back to life you can still die?

Eric (as Havana): I want to say yes and no at the same time.

Julia (as Cammie): That's fair.

Eric (as Aubergine): You know, there's an expression that we have in the— in the forest, where every experience you go through is a little death but also a little life. It is le petite mort, but also that it's what we call orgasm.

Julia (as Cammie): Wow.

Amanda (as Troy): That sounds confusing. And not— not just for me but like for others.

Eric: I was just realizing that I didn't put Millie in the in the initiative from before.

Julia: Oh, that's okay, she is busy.

Eric: But she was probably doing like weird kills that I'm not allowed to show because they would raise the rating from teen to mature.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: She was doing like really messed up stuff. Like if the Joker would do it, that's what she was doing.

Brandon: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: And you look up in its Aubergine with a—with a cool scar across one of his eyes and a jo—and a very large but jaunty hat tipped just to the side.

Brandon (as Umbi): Aubergine!

Julia (as Cammie): Aubergine! Or Francois!

Amanda (as Troy): I missed you.

Brandon (as Umbi): Francois, my best friend. You got—you got your identity and more horny, apparently.

Eric (as Aubergine): I am accepting more about myself. Did you see me on the— on the horse? I was so wonderful riding the horse.

Amanda (as Troy): It was amazing.

Brandon (as Umbi): It was glorious.

Amanda (as Troy): Seriously. And like I miss you, but I'm happy for you, and it's difficult feeling.

Julia (as Cammie): I must have been a shark at the time that you were a horse. I don't really remember that.

Brandon (as Umbi): That's because you're not really a great friend, so.

Amanda (as Troy): Okay, whoa.

Eric (as Aubergine): I think at this time I speak to both of you.

Brandon (as Umbi): Uh-oh.

Eric (as Aubergine): I need to, Cammie—

Julia (as Cammie): We're getting broken up aren't we?

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah we are.

Eric (as Aubergine): —Umbi. You're both very dear to me.

Brandon (as Umbi): That's a lie.

Eric (as Aubergine): And I both— and I both have different relationships with both of you, and I would say you are both best friends to me.

Brandon (as Umbi): Best implies one, you can't have more than one best.

Eric (as Aubergine): But you know, it is like a tier system.

Brandon (as Umbi): Am I on top of the tier system?

Eric (as Aubergine): Like a par—like a— like a—like a pyramid of friendship.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, who's at the top?

Eric (as Aubergine): Where best friends is a level of the pyramid, bud.

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, who's at the very, very tippy top?

Eric (as Aubergine): Myself.

Julia (as Cammie): That's fair. I understand that. I'm also my best friend. But also everyone else is my best friend.

Eric (as Aubergine): How are you supposed to love yourself? How are you supposed to love so— yourself if you're not supposed to love somebody else? Can I get an amen?

Amanda (as Troy): Amen.

Julia (as Cammie): Amen.

Eric (as Aubergine): Amen.

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I'm a— I'm of the older generation where we were taught to hate ourselves, so—

Julia (as Cammie): That’s sad.

Eric (as Aubergine): That's fine. I understand. It is one of the things I like so much about you, Umbi.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Eric (as Aubergine): But I need to tell you both, that I am finding something that is outside the friendship. It is fraternity, brotherhood. And I think I tell you, I need to tell the captain. Troy.

Julia (as Cammie): Wait.

Brandon (as Umbi): Hold on.

Eric (as Aubergine): Troy, I'm going to have to leave the island. I'm going to have to leave the Sea Whip.

Brandon (as Umbi): No.

Eric (as Aubergine): And join the brothers instead and find my true self. It turns out, I was revolutionary leader, leading against you and your family.

Amanda (as Troy): Sure.

Eric (as Aubergine): It is very interesting how our lives are intertwined like this. We are destiny friends, which even you might say is higher than best friends as the Parthenon.

Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.

Brandon (as Umbi): I wouldn't.

Amanda: Troy looks uncertainly at Umbi and Cammie.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, sorry, guys.

Brandon: Umbi's doing like a cut your throat symbol.

Julia: Cammie goes—

Julia (as Cammie): —this is fair. This is the path that you were taken on, sure, sure. Okay.

Amanda (as Troy): I mean, we're really going to miss you. And I mean, you know that I'm not like for all the things that like Hyperion is doing right?

Eric (as Aubergine): Of course I don't. But I think hopefully, at one point we might need to duel to provide lives to each other.

Julia (as Cammie): That'd be fun to watch.

Brandon: Sorry, can you take that one more time for me again, Eric?

Eric (as Aubergine): I think at one point we are going to have to duel to prove that to each other.

Brandon: Oh no. I met could you do it-- say the word duel properly.

Eric (as Aubergine): One time we are going to have to du du du duel for each other for our future and for us what's—we ask them what they do.

Eric: I'm imagining you're standing like in low tide sand, so like water is just like dribbling on your feet, coming in this entire time just pshhh, every once in a while.

Brandon: The body of a little leaf and Monster combo floats upon the sea.

Eric: The little leafs body float— floats onto the beach.

Amanda: Troy turns it over with his foot and goes aaah.

Julia: Cammie goes, is there an amber?

Amanda: No, not in this one.

Julia (as Cammie): Ohh.

Brandon: John Flick, is that good?

Julia: That's a cool name.

Eric: That's pretty good.

Amanda: Good.

Eric: Especially because it's holding a gun, but three times the size of his body and it's waterlogged unfortunately you can't use it.

Brandon: Yeah, you can't use it, it’s rusted already.

Amanda (as Troy): Aubergine, we're really gonna miss you. Is there anything-- should we like send your stuff from the hold anywhere or?

Eric (as Aubergine): No I can get it to myself.

Brandon (as Umbi): No, I think it's gone already, I think right?

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): You did kind of leave it behind unprotected so that means it is stolen.

Eric (as Aubergine): That's fine, I took the most important things with the— with me which reminds—

Brandon (as Umbi): Your two best friends.

Eric (as Aubergine): And all of my designs for my outfits.

Amanda (as Troy): Good.

Julia (as Cammie): That too.

Eric (as Aubergine): And everything else I would just leave

Julia (as Cammie): Aubergine, you are going to lead the best dressed mercenaries this side of the hold. And I'm proud of you.

Eric (as Aubergine): I am proud too. Thank you for letting me follow a dream I didn't even know I had. The thing I was known for before were terrible, bloody, ruthless, cold hearted kills.

Amanda (as Troy): But now you know that you love clothes.

Eric (as Aubergine): And I also love clothes now.

Amanda (as Troy): I think that's great.

Eric (as Aubergine): I am also killernista and fashionista at same time.

Brandon (as Umbi): You can use the clothes to cover up your bloody kills.

Eric (as Aubergine): It is something I am incorporating and then something that now my my my brothers in arms are going to have to learn about me. There's something I need all three of you to know, something that I have learned about you from my time and being amne—amnesiatic. And also as refinding myself.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Eric (as Aubergine): The three of you are doing something important and interesting, and dare I say, world changing?

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Eric (as Aubergine): And I we—and people might deny it because of the things that they have to do for their own— for their own goals for them to see their own dreams. But as someone who has seen themselves outside of themself, and how you say gone back into myself, I know that you are going to do great things and continue to do it, never forget that.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, bud.

Julia: Cammie starts crying immediately.

Brandon: Yeah. Umbi starts crying and he says—

Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck you, man. Fuck you.

Julia (as Cammie): That was beautiful.

Amanda: Troy, his lip quivering, goes in to give Aubergine a firm handshake.

Amanda (as Troy): You were released from duty, it was a pleasure.

Eric: Aubergine, salutes, holds the salute up and says—

Eric (as Aubergine): Thank you, Captain Troy. Thank you best friends. I will see you again. I'm sure our paths will cross. Just if I can leave you with one thing, no matter what anyone says, they are just selfish haters. You guys are really great.

Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.

Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.

Amanda (as Troy): I remember that.

Eric: I'm hoping that this is going to be like the new inspirational quote from Join the Party and everyone's gonna start cross stitching it on pillows—

Brandon: Putting it on a mug.

Eric: — and putting it on posters. Be like—

Eric (as Aubergine): No matter what the haters and losers say.

Julia: Great. Cammie pulls Umbi aside is like—

Julia (as Cammie): Okay, what—since when is Troy captain?

Brandon (as Umbi): I don't fucking know.

Julia (as Cammie): What's up with that?

Brandon (as Umbi): I don't think—do we have the mutiny?

Julia (as Cammie): I don't think it's a mutiny if Troy doesn't think that he's captain. Troy, do you think your captain?

Brandon (as Umbi): It's a psychological mutiny.

Amanda (as Troy): Captain is French for best friend, right?

Brandon (as Umbi): Yep, it is.

Julia (as Cammie): Yes.

Amanda (as Troy): So, yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. You know what, Troy? You’re captain of Aubergine's heart.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, there you go.

Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, I don't know if I like that one either. I want to be captain of his heart.

Julia (as Cammie): You know what Umbi, you got to take the hits when they come, you know?

Brandon (as Umbi): That's fair, that's fair.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.

Brandon: Eric, there wasn't really a good time to ask for this, but could you give—ould you give Francoise here his— his signature death movie is called the French Tuck?

Eric Yes. A 100%.

Brandon: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Eric Yeah, you can still keep going on Aubergine, it's fine.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: You knew him. It's like it's cool nick-- amnesiac nickname that he had.

Brandon: Yeah, it's his nom de plume.

Amanda: Nom de guerre.

Julia: Nom de guerre. Good—good point. Good point.

Brandon: Nom de Aubergine.

Amanda: Nom de…vegetable? I don't know vegetable in french.

Julia: Vegetable.

Brandon: Nom de crudités.

Eric: The purple menace. Okay, so immediately cutting back from that emotional cutscene that we just had. So you now have four pieces of amber.

Julia: Nice.

Eric: Plus your experience point, right?

Julia: Yep.

Eric: And here's where you can do. Because Orello is there, you can use one Amber, to bring someone from the hold to you. It can be one of your friends, or one of the other various things that are in the hold. But you got to bring them to you. You got to spend an extra thing to bring it to you.

Julia: Okay. What is eliminated right now from our kind of standard level up from the hold, because we don't have the right person or resources.

Eric: There are some things you definitely can't do, right? You can't do monster wrangler, because you're not there.

Julia: I—can I spend money to bring the monster to us, the big crab?

Eric: I don't think so because the big crab has not been— has not been wrangled. And you can't do lords of the manor because you're not there, right?

Julia: Right.

Eric: However, the putts and puppets pirate palladium, you can improve upon it, if you would like to. You can also do ship shape, which is where you can improve upon the ship. You can bring the Magnolia folks to you, but they are currently like building stuff up over in the hold. You can improve upon Doctor doctor because he's medical, so you can kind of up that if you would like. Also you can do dig and roll if you'd like to. And you can see if someone can bring something back to you. But you have to use two points for that. And of course there's Gloria. So you can bring these people to you, or you can do the regular stuff that Orello always does, which is that you can spend amber for Orello to go figure somebody out for you. It's kind of just like an enhancement of that.

Julia: Okay.

Brandon: What do you think Orello is doing while we are killing all these pirates, zombies?

Julia: Hiding.

Amanda: Hiding. Yeah, for sure.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: Maybe like helping himself to the lunch spread for day two that we never got through.

Julia: True. We go inside and you just see Orello like surrounded by the remnants of every sandwich that was ordered for lunch.

Eric: He made a fort out of the lunch tables. It just like there is deli meat everywhere.

Julia: Hell yeah.

Eric: You don't have to use—you can hold on to your amber too, there's just one XP point you have to use.

Brandon: I would love to do-- I think it could be fun to bring Gloria here and maybe get some weapon upgrades or something? That's a good option. I'm always—as you know, I'm a dig and roll boy.

Julia: Of course.

Amanda: I think given last episode, it will be useful to improve Havana.

Julia: I was going to agree with that.

Brandon: Yeah.

Julia: I was going to agree with that. I'm also concerned about future ship combat so I think doing shipshape would also make a lot of sense.

Amanda: Yeah. If it were up to me I would dump like two on Havana, two on the ship.

Julia: Ooh, interesting. Okay.

Eric: Ooh, that's cool.

Brandon: I don't know that we need two on the ship, because we did—we've already done one on ship.

Julia: Well, we only have increased the Harold bonus, we have not done ship HP or ship attack yet.

Eric: Correct.

Brandon: Gotcha.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: Is it worth then spending the extra for Gloria?

Amanda: I think bringing someone to us now unless we really need them is not necessarily the best use of the amber.

Brandon: Sure.

Julia: Yeah. Okay.

Brandon: Let's definitely do at least one shipshape and at least one doctor.

Julia: Yes.

Amanda: Cool. Anything else would require a like import amber?

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: Right.

Eric: An import-- an import fee. Yeah.

Julia: I think it's worth holding on to our Amber then for the time being.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Yeah.

Julia: And I also think that you know, worst case scenario we can give one to Orello for a clue, a lead for our next story arc.

Brandon: Here's my pitch, one for Doctor Doctor, one for shipshape, give one to Orello and maybe do another one on Doctor Doctor and then keep one or keep two.

Amanda: What would our ask be for Orello?

Julia: Let's hold on to that one until we get to talk to him and see kind of where we want to go storyline wise.

Brandon: Yeah. But I think learning some more about the diamond knot would be—

Julia: Could be—

Brandon: — good.

Julia: Yeah. Or to see if he has any clues as to where our final so far uncalculated key is.

Brandon: Oh even better. Yeah, yeah.

Amanda: Yeah, so let's-- let's lock and load shipshape and Doctor Doctor.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: One each, please.

Eric: Alright, wha— which one do you want for shipshape?

Julia: I think HP would make the most sense right now for us.

Amanda: Agreed.

Julia: If only because I think our maneuvering and attack is genuinely pretty good just the way that we tend to tell those stories and use the mechanics.

Brandon: Yeah.

Julia: But I do get nervous about the HP, so increasing the HP would be ideal.

Eric: Hell yeah. Alright. Let’s throw some body armor on the—on the sea whip. We get that— we get the really nice like cutscene where it's like we're Sil and Harold are like moving around the ship really fast.

Amanda: Like a dust cloud.

Eric: Banging on it with hammers.

Brandon: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: And now the sea whip has cool like coral armor around it.

Julia: Eric, can I—can I yes and you and for flavies.

Eric: Sure.

Julia: Can we have used some of the whale bone, whale monster bone.

Eric: Oh sure.

Julia: To better improve the ship.

Brandon: Hell yeah.

Eric: Honestly, Julia I had the thought I'm like how is this going to look like shit, and now this is how we're gonna make it look like shit, is we're gonna add a weird— we're gonna add bones to it look—make it look like it got destroyed by a monster.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: A desiccated corpse, yeah.

Julia: I love it.

Eric: Cool, cool, cool.

Julia: Like the ship is just has whale bone ribs now.

Eric: Oh, that's cool.

Amanda: Like rib as the prow like jetting out of the sea. Yeah.

Eric: That's very cool. Alright. Well, for this medical soup up, I am going to ask the three of you. What would you like Havana to concentrate in? It's almost like we zoom out and then there's like little icons surrounding Havana and being like, I'm going for my super doctorate. There's an icon that looks like a skull that's broken in half. To be like would you like Havana to look into bringing people from the back from the brink of death?

Amanda: Probably that one.

Eric: Would you like Havana to concentrate in having stronger healing potions? Would you like Havana to concentrate in nutrition and making people hardier? So yeah, would you like Havana to specialize in resurrection, in stronger healing or making you all hardier folks.

Julia: Resurrection!

Brandon: No, I think healing, right?

Julia: Okay, my problem is let's assume one of us goes down.

Brandon: Right.

Julia: And fails our death saves.

Brandon: Right.

Julia: We would like to come back from that, correct?

Eric: It is just like little like stick figure icons of like Havana like a big circle, like leaning down with defibrillation paddles on a—and I don't want to tell say anyone, but it's is—the figure is very Umbi shapes.

Amanda: I think in a pinch we would rather have resurrection than healing potions.

Julia: Yeah, cause I have healing. We're okay in that regard. Worst case scenario.

Brandon Well, we weren't last time I mean like this thing is like I —my thought for dealing healing is healing can save you from death as well.

Julia: No, healing can save you from— can bring you back up from zero, healing cannot take you once you fail all your death saves or if we got hit by a big major one like Troy and Umbi almost have.

Brandon But think about like how many times someone's died, full out died versus how many times we need healing. We need healing a lot more than we do need death.

Julia: I know, but I just am concerned because we've gotten very close to full death several times now.

Eric: I also want to say there's also some, like, new actions that Havana can do as well depending on it. Because it's not just like, does resurrection or doesn't do resurrection. Because you know, Havana can't do resurrection necessarily. I think that's why they're like defibrillator paddles. It's like saving someone from the brink of death, as opposed to like healing, having stronger healing stuff where like Havana goes to pharmacy school and becomes a pharmacist.

Amanda: I think Brandon we would use the healing one— the pharmacist more often but I will be upset if we don't have “help bring back from death” when we need it.

Julia: Yeah. And we're also we're seeing resurrection. I'm thinking like mechanically like the spell revivify.

Brandon Yeah.

Julia: Which is like the “you died and we're gonna bring you back to life within like the last”—I don't remember how long it is, it's like minute or hour or something like that.

Amanda: We can also spend two Amber on both.

Brandon: Actually, that's not a bad idea.

Amanda: If we wanted to, could we spend two Amber upgrading Doctor Doctor?

Eric: Yeah, you can do both.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: Sure.

Julia: Cool.

Amanda: That's my boat. If we want one for ship, two for Havana one for Orello if we need it.

Eric: The only thing I would say is that if you're going this hard into it, like you can't—Havana can't multiclass like the— you're— Havana is a doctor through and through at this point. And I think narratively that makes sense because Havana doesn't want to fuck with magic anymore. But yeah, you can definitely do that.

Amanda: That's fair.

Eric: Because I think that you y'all in a mecha-- like JRPG mechanically, y'all really shut off any sort of like magical upgrades for Havana.

Julia: I don't think this time like we're missing out on anything particular by doing that, you know what I mean?

Brandon:: Yeah, I think that's a good—that's a good plan.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: Cool. Alright. So you want to use two on Havana right now?

Julia: Yes, we will.

Amanda: Yes, please.

Eric: Alright. So that's your XP and one Amber. As you choose two icons the— bringing people back from the brink of death and going to pharmacy school.

Julia: I really like the idea that we like smack the air around Havana's head, he's like what are you doing?

Eric: It's like I was talking to you and the three of you looked off into space. I mean—

Eric (as Havana): The wha— do you need me to do? You know all of this, all these mulchy dead bodies are really giving my doctor brain a workout. I'm really learning a lot.

Julia (as Cammie): That's what I was saying about, isn't it interesting that you can be brought back to life and then still get killed again?

Brandon (as Umbi): That's what I call it when I steal from the dead bodies, learning a lot.

Eric (as Havana): Umbi, respectfully do not compare you and I.

Brandon (as Umbi): I'm sorry. Is it embarrassing for you to compare yourself to me?

Eric (as Havana): It's embarrassing when you say something that's like against the Geneva Convention. And then you're like me and Havana do that.

Brandon (as Umbi): Man, I'm sorry. I'm so much cooler and smarter and better, it's fine. I'm sorry, man. I'll try it—I'll try not to be such a bright light in the darkness that is life.

Julia (as Cammie): Damn, gottem.

Eric: And Havana reaches into his white coat and gives you a lollipop.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh can I have one? C’mon!

Eric (as Havana): Oh, who wants lollipops?

Amanda (as Troy): Me.

Brandon (as Umbi): I want the other one, I want the other one.

Eric (as Havana): I ha—I have brickle berry, and green apple and mystery.

Amanda (as Troy): Mystery.

Brandon: Do they—do they have eyeballs on them and faces?

Amanda: Like little worms inside?

Eric: Yes it is. Yeah, yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Brickle berry.

Eric (as Havana): Alright, Cammie get brickle berry, Troy get—

Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.

Brandon (as Umbi): I'll take the other one, what's the other one?

Eric (as Havana): Green apple for my oldest and nicest—

Brandon (as Umbi): Green apple.

Eric (as Havana): — patient.

Eric: He—because you've leveled him up so much Havana has charisma also goes up because he has better bedside manner. Incredible. Alright, so here's what Havana can do now.

Julia (as Cammie): People don't even comment on the fact that he's a male doctor anymore.

Amanda: No.

Julia: He just curious himself.

Eric: He's such a good doctor.

Julia (as Cammie): End of statement.

Eric: So yeah, here's what Havana can do. Havana can now use revivify, you're absolutely correct Julia. Where Havana can bring someone back if they've died within a minute. Taking out some defibrillator paddles and going [electric current noise] with electricity. Also a Havana now has chunkier heals. So even bigger potions. As we've learned we didn't e— you didn't really learn this but vantage doesn't have magic, Havana only has potio—healing potions but can administer them either on the—try to throw them to somebody or putting them in their mouth like we learned with Umbi before.

Brandon: Can he give them to us as like items to have on hand as well?

Eric: Yes he can, yes he can.

Brandon: Tight.

Eric: And you can also like I think that Havana has a pool of dice as well if you kind of take the time to take items from him and you can kinda distribute them into different size potion bottles.

Amanda: Cool.

Eric: Cool. You did it.

Amanda: Cute. Love it.

Eric: Yeah. The thing about potions though is that you need to use an action to drink them. So it's like if you're dead or incapacitated you can't drink them.

Brandon: Right.

Amanda: Now that Troy is so into knitting can he crochet macrame each of us like you know like a weapon holster that goes on your shoulders and that it dangles in your pit? Can we do that but for healing potions?

Eric: Yeah sure.

Amanda: So that if someone goes down each of us knows where the potion is to like uncork and—and pour.

Eric: No, that's stupid. I hate that.

Brandon: I like it a lot.

Julia: I like it so much.

Eric: Okay. Yeah. No, of course.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: There are D&D games out there where people say that.

Amanda: I know.

Eric: Is that crazy?

Julia: Wild.

Amanda: Roll a dex check for how good you macrame.

Eric: Oh, your macrame fucking sucks, so um, the potion breaks when you best need it.

Amanda: Macrame is gay so, no.

Eric: Hey fellas, is it gay to do macrame in your D&D campaign?

Julia: Yes.

Brandon: Only if you make yourself like a— like a— I don't know how, I don't know.

Amanda: Well, if you identify as gay while macrameing.

Eric: Or do you kiss a man when you're done with it?

Amanda: Okay.

Brandon: Let's try to think of like some sort of kissing aid. Macrame yourself some sort of kissing aid.

Eric: I respect you because I went right to Dick Holster and I appreciate you. I appreciate you, Brandon.

Brandon: I was actually gonna say GIMP outfit and then I decided not to say that on the microphone.

Amanda: That's fair.

Eric: That's fair. That's fair. That's fair.

Amanda: Now, I am imagining a pride parade with leather daddies but they're all wearing like crochet, that be really cute.

Julia: That’d be hot.

Eric: Is crochet daddy a thing, it should be.

Amanda: Should be.

Eric: Should be.

Brandon: Should be.

Amanda: Eric, if you're brave enough.

Eric: Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Julia: It really depends on how tight that knit is, huh?

Brandon: Eric, we add another Amber to Havana, well, can he become like crochet daddy or—

Eric: A Bra—I gonna have to check my rule book. I have to check the Hippocratic oath that I've taken.

Brandon: Thou shalt not crochet and--

Eric: Thou shall not, thou shall not fuck it up.

Amanda: Julia, the—the size of the knit and therefore how suitable it is for outdoor activities, it's called the Overton window.

Brandon: Oh, that's good.

Eric: That's pretty fun Ju— Amanda, that's pretty funny.

Brandon: They measure the knit size in nip size.

Eric: Nice, nice.

Amanda: Nice, nice.

Eric: Nice, nice. Hey Brandon, good job.

Brandon: Thanks. So I got a gold star?

Eric: Yeah. Brandon, here's a gold star.

Brandon: Yay.

[theme]

Amanda: Hello, hello it's Amanda. Welcome and thank you so much to our newest patrons Will and Full Metal Gundam, both excellent names. We are only able to make Join the Party because of our patrons point blank. If you like the show, and you have room in your budget to support us with your money every month, we would love to have you at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. We thank you for your contributions with things like our patron only discord full whole-esque the best place on the internet. And additional biweekly podcasts like party planning. I really loved one that went out last Friday for Eric's birthday, and all other kinds of things like ad free episodes and hundreds and hundreds of bonus posts from the last few years. And if you can't support us with our money, then you should tell a friend about the show that is so helpful. If you text somebody and say hey, I love this podcast you would love it too. Here's the episode to start with and recommend that they start with Episode one from Campaign One which teaches you how to play. Episode one of Campaign Two if they're into Lake town, city and time loops and workers rights and all other kinds of biz, or maybe it's Camp Diogenes. Maybe it's the Camp Paign, which is season three in your podcast app. Which they can get through even quicker or maybe they should join in before Campaign Three really kicks into high gear which let me tell you it's doing. Thank you so much for all of your help. Thank you so much for sharing the show and thank you especially to our patrons at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude lots going on as always. And guys, the podcast I love most to listen to and relax and tend to my planss is Pale Blue Pod. An astronomy podcast for people who are overwhelmed by the universe but want to be its friend. Every single episode I learned and I get like the tinglies about how I am a small creature on a big planet but in a really cool way. Astrophysicist Dr. Moiya McTier and comedian Corrine Caputo demystify space, one topic at a time with open eyes and arms, and also open mouths from so much laughing and jaw dropping. Check out new episodes every Monday wherever you get your podcasts, that's Pale Blue Pod. We are sponsored this week by Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. This is a show exploring anime and all the ways that it shows up in our world. The hosts discuss the latest in news updates and deep dives on the shows and pop culture that you love if you're a fan of anime. Which if you're listening to Join the Party, there's a higher than average chance that you are. From breaking down the Anime Awards, to analyzing Godzilla minus one, to discussions with musicians and latest breaking news, you can stay up to date on all things anime with Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. They had an episode about Final Fantasy VII Rebirth I found really interesting. And I really listened recently to the One Piece episode just because it is so relevant to this campaign. So go ahead, check out Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect wherever you get your pods. And finally we are sponsored this week by Volante Designs. An incredible independent small business that makes gorgeous gear that makes you feel like a TTRPG or video game main character. They make such incredible pieces I have seen them out in the wild, have seen them at cons. And I have to tell you the real thing really beats the photos that you see online which are incredibly gorgeous to begin with. Whether you want to wear items inspired by an officially licensed from Star Trek or Assassin's Creed or Devil May Cry, or you just want to check out their beautiful original lines, they are so good. Volante Design team is a pleasure to work with. They're ethically sourced and manufactured and they're made for quality. If like me you're trying to buy fewer things and buy ones that are made ethically that are quality that you'll want to repair and last few your whole life, It is Volante Designs, you gotta check them out. They've also been kind enough to offer us and you 10% your entire order. Use the code JoinTheParty for 10% off your order. That's JoinTheParty all one word at volantedesign.us. Volante Design, stay badass. And now let's get back to the show.

[theme]

Eric: Folks, you have two Amber left. You can even pocket it, you can us—you can do whatever you want. You can bring somebody to the island or you can like tell me to fuck myself and I guess I will.

Brandon: Does that cost an amber to do?

Eric: It does Brandon, it does count as amber, there are in game consequences.

Julia: I think let's hold on to it for now, and then we'll get a chance to talk to Orello and we can—

Amanda: Before we leave, yeah.

Julia: —decide what we want to do with it.

Brandon: Yeah, I agree.

Eric: Sure. Absolutely. While you're leveling up, Dr. Havana, and you're souping up the ship you see that Lustrous Recompense is stumbling down the beach. Kind of like just wrapped black silk all over himself. And he's just like, wrapped all the way around, wrapped around his wings. And he's just like, ripping his clothes as he is walking into the sea and then gets on his knees wailing and just lets the— lets the waves wash over him.

Brandon: Does he loved Salix and miss Salix?

Amanda (as Troy): Lustrous man, I know I'm so sorry.

Eric (as Lustrous): I'm sure that all of you have experienced loss in your life. But this loss is deeper, more hurtful and more significant than anyone has ever felt in the entire history of time.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh man, I know— I've never experienced any loss. I don't know. It's tough. Sounds hard.

Amanda (as Troy): Right before this, my ex best friend killed my— killed my Umbi, and so I guess that is less than— than you.

Brandon (as Umbi): It is, Umbi weighs significantly less than a tree.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh yeah.

Eric (as Lustrous): It feels unfathomable for me to lose someone like this in such a terrible way. I was very— I had pre-grieved. If Salix had been exploded or on fire or drownded but not zombied. I'm—this is the full grief that I had not prepared myself for. There's no amount of meditation and self discovery that allows you to understand what it's like to watch someone you like also five times as large as usual, to be eaten by zombies. It was like he was being magnified like I had opera glasses on in front of me.

Julia (as Cammie): Um, I mean maybe we can get him un-zombified potentially.

Amanda (as Troy): We can definitely try. And you know what, I think that potion only lasts so long. So I mean he will be regular size and not a giant zombie.

Brandon (as Umbi): And if that doesn't work, I can give you like a poison, and if you want yeah.

Amanda (as Troy): We can kill him, I guess.

Julia (as Cammie): You kill him yourself?

Brandon (as Umbi): You could join and you can kill him yourself, whatever you want.

Eric (as Lustrous): These are all beautiful yet totally fucked up things to say and I appreciate it.

Brandon (as Umbi): I also have potion of resistance, will that make you resistant to sad?

Eric (as Lustrous): No.

Eric: And he slaps it out of your hands.

Brandon (as Umbi): Nooo.

Julia: Shatters on the ground.

Amanda: Troy, thanks to his knees, next Lustrous, puts a comforting hand on his back.

Amanda (as Troy): Lustrous, I have been doing some reading and I have learned about this thing what is called retail therapy. Would it—would it help you to— to have an item of your choosing from the most exclusive, fancy, gossipy person we know?

Julia (as Cammie): That is true. He is all of those things.

Eric (as Lustrous): What is some?—what do you get for—what do you get for—what do you get for the rapscallion who has everything? Something from a gossipy bitch.

Amanda (as Troy): I had a feeling you might like it.

Brandon (as Umbi): Is that the same slogan you're now wanting people to cross stitch, Eric?

Eric: No, I like— I liked the first one, but that was pretty good too. I'm selling that one directly to Tiffany’s. TM, TM TM, it's mine TM, TM, TM, TM, TM. TM. Like—

Eric (as Lustrous): The three of you have a choice. So much has happened and yet there are so many things for where you whence to go on to next.

Julia (as Cammie): True.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Brandon (as Umbi): That's true.

Julia (as Cammie): That was an insightful thing to say about our situation.

Eric (as Lustrous): There's—you're— you're all just so—you're ni—you're nice. I like you.

Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.

Amanda: Troy looks over his shoulder, and sort of gestures like—

Amanda (as Troy): Should—should he come with us?

Julia (as Cammie): No.

Amanda (as Troy): No. Okay, okay.

Julia (as Cammie): Seems like he's got his own thing going on.

Brandon (as Umbi): I think it would also be tiring for Eric to make that voice for forever. I don't know.

Eric (as Lustrous): I would love to do the voice as much as you want.

Eric: I mean, whatever dawg, but it's fine. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

Amanda (as Troy): I do think Harold will be jealous.

Brandon (as Umbi): I think they would squabble a lot.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): He might start dating Orello though, so like he might be around. I don't know.

Amanda (as Troy): So Lustrous, item—item of your choosing on— on us, on me. Least I can do.

Brandon (as Umbi): That item could also be Orello himself. Wink. Wink

Amanda (as Troy): He's available.

Julia (as Cammie): He's very horny.

Amanda (as Troy): And wishes to kiss.

Brandon (as Umbi): A lot.

Eric (as Lustrous): I've been doing this long enough that I don't need wing people, but I'm fine thank you. That was a— that was a nice gesture.

Amanda: Okay, okay.

Brandon: All his wing people got dipped in gold.

Eric: Yeah.

Eric (as Lustrous): Just like my wings, they're gold.

Eric: Yeah, I don't think that there's anything he needs necessarily, but he'll wa—he will cry quietly behind you as you talk to Orello.

Julia: Cool.

Brandon: It's nice.

Julia: Can you give like Brandon like 10 minutes of just quiet crying noises so that he could put it in behind the conversation we're about to have?

Eric (as Lustrous): [cries] No, don't let them see you cry. No, let them see you cry. Do it.

Brandon: And another nine minutes. Oh, no, he's choking, he's choking.

Eric (as Lustrous): No, it was just some snot. Okay. [cries]

Julia: 8 more minutes.

Eric: [cries] Oh no, I have the hiccups. [hiccups] Yeah, you could turn that into 10 minutes, right?

Brandon: Yeah, totally.

Eric: Just lo— just loop that, just loop it.

Eric (as Lustrous): Please before you go, return to me. It just—I would like to talk to you before you go.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay.

Eric (as Lustrous): Give you an empowering speech and whatnot.

Amanda (as Troy): You got it.

Brandon (as Umbi): Of course.

Eric: And then a textbox appears, a text box appears above Lustrous head that says, talk to Lustrous when you're ready to leave the island.

Amanda: Nice

Julia: Cool. Cool.

Brandon: I hit X.

Amanda: I hit B.

Brandon: Oh no.

Amanda: Not yet, not yet.

Eric: Are you sure you want to hit B?

Amanda: No, no, no.

Eric: Amanda just threw out her sword.

Amanda: Did throw out my sword yesterday on Stardew by mistake.

Eric (as Lustrous): Here are your choices. I still am not sure where— I'm not sure where the key with a gaze and Archimedes went off to, but I'm sure both of them ha—both of them have determination and courage in their hearts so maybe somewhere?

Julia: Cool.

Eric (as Lustrous): You can try to find that terrible goopy sap, I think it went that way. I wonder what Kid Cervantes is up to, probably still destroying stuff. What an incredible, powerful guy. Or you can stay with me and you can continue the Conclave, there's still things that we need to work on.

Brandon: Isn't everyone dead?

Julia: Or left.

Eric: There's still people that are still around, you all three, Lucky Edie’s around.

Brandon: God damn it.

Julia: No.

Eric (as Lustrous): Wha—what did I say? Why are yo all mad at me?

Julia (as Cammie): Lucky Edie sucks. There, I said it.

Eric (as Lustrous): Why? Why?

Amanda (as Troy): She said something rude about you.

Eric (as Lustrous): About me?

Julia (as Cammie): She said something so rude about you.

Eric (as Lustrous): She said rude things about everyone.

Julia (as Cammie): Oh my gosh.

Eric (as Lustrous): And also if you go through life worrying if rude people say rude things about you, you're gonna get nothing done.

Julia (as Cammie): I'm not worried about it, I'm just saying like, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

Brandon: Rude comments is Lustrous Recompenes's foreplay.

Amanda: He respects her more. I just said it, I was like shit, that’s gonna make him respect her more.

Julia: He—she—also is she the only one that still left because she's the only one you listed?

Amanda: They all ran away, yeah.

Julia: And I don't want a meeting with her.

Eric: Just her.

Julia: Just her.

Eric: No, who's still here. Lucky Edie is still here, the separatists are still here.

Brandon: I mean Kid Cervantes, obviously.

Eric: Kid Cervantes is not here. He's over—he's in the—he's out in the sea. And yeah, no one knows where Archimedes and the key is but Drooz is still there, Drooz is hanging out.

Brandon: Oh good.

Eric: And so is, yeah, and Millie is—Millie is still there.

Brandon: Pass.

Eric: And Piney is still there, just kind of also rooting through people's pockets like the three of you.

Brandon: You know, I feel like us and Piney are just like two ships passing in the night. I feel like in another universe we would have been like best friends, you know?

Eric: Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): I tried.

Eric (as Lustrous): Come back when you're ready to make your decision, but I'll be here mourning [cries]

Amanda: Covers all the reflective rocks.

Julia: Hey, Eric, mechanically.

Eric: Yeah?

Julia: Is zombieism a curse?

Eric: No.

Julia: What is it?

Eric: It's like a power. It's an energy magic force. Because it's like, you know, necromancy as a wizard-- as a wizarding tradition, you know, and also the way that it's expressed. I think it's expressed very interestingly in Valda’s as its like its own thing. But it's more about like being able to control, lifeforce and then having things follow you. It's almost like you know, use the energy. You have the lifeforce energy and you're stitching it through a de-animated body you know?

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: And that's why all the— all the zombies fell apart when the pot exploded.

Julia: I just want to know if I can save Salix in any way.

Eric: You can un— you can uncurse the man. Sorry.

Brandon: Eric loves killing NPCs today, it's just like his flavored popcorn of choice.

Eric: You know what, baby, I love it.

Julia: But Salix.

Amanda: I know, poor guy.

Julia: But I want them back.

Eric: Just because he's a zombie doesn't mean you can't date him, Cammie.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: Judgy, judgy.

Julia: I mean, I think it kind of does.

Amanda: I don't know.

Julia: It would make intimacy very difficult.

Brandon: Or better? [laughs]

Eric: How, Brandon?

Julia: Yeah, Brandon, explain, how?

Brandon: More biting.

Eric: Uh-huh.

Julia: Go on.

Brandon: More biting, more better.

Amanda: Maybe that's cross stitch.

Brandon: Should we go talk to Orello first, or what do y'all think?

Julia: Yeah. Let's go talk to Orello first.

Brandon: What are you thinking, Amanda?

Amanda: Ah, I don't want to leave here without the key for a gaze.

Brandon: Right.

Amanda: And I think it's important we seek it. Those are my two priorities.

Julia: Okay.

Brandon: Do we have to pick one, Eric or can we split up?

Amanda: Split up?

Julia: Can we split up and look for clues?

Eric: You can all do it at the same time, just do it and do it in whatever order you want, it's fine.

Brandon: Okay.

Julia: Alright, let's talk to Orello first and then we can.

Eric: Sure.

Julia: Go our separate ways.

Eric (as Orello): This is my favorite zombie outbreak that I've ever been a part of. I don't like that everyone left, but it was pretty cool.

Julia (as Cammie): Is it because you ended up covered in sandwiches?

Eric (as Orello): Yes. Does anyone want to Reuben?

Julia (as Cammie): No.

Brandon (as Umbi): Is it because zombies make for better lovers?

Eric (as Orello): No, I just had a great time. I finally had the wisdom and experience-- I had the wisdom and experience to enjoy life for what it is and it's being covered in deli meats.

Brandon (as Umbi): I get it, I get it.

Amanda (as Troy): Happy for you, man.

Eric (as Orello): Yeah. So wha— do you need anything? What do you need? What are you thinking?

Julia (as Cammie): What are you thinking?

Eric (as Orello): I'm thinking that I need to build up my clientele because a lot of them got eaten by zombies, and then the zombies died.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Eric (as Orello): The zombies mulched.

Brandon (as Umbi): First things first, I think—

Brandon: And Umbi turns to his crewmates and says like—

Brandon (as Umbi): —like, the other keys, is that our first priority, what are we thinking?

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. I mean, it usually takes you a while to find information, like at least an arc usually to find out information. And so maybe we should put you on that task while we follow up with some other things.

Amanda: Agreed. And I think if we can intimidate him from resourcing Audrey, that would be ideal.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, maybe don't give away those seeds anymore.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric (as Orello): So what do you need?

Julia (as Cammie): So we're interested in—we noticed no one here at the Conclave had the key that still hurts.

Eric (as Orello): Mm hmm. Yes.

Julia (as Cammie): We would like you with your infinite resources to try to find out where that might be.

Brandon (as Umbi): We've heard tell on the wind, that it might be in some sort of large cavernous thing that's alive and has spikes or something. But we don't know where that is.

Eric (as Orello): Oh, that's right. I heard of it. It was inside of a giant venus flytrap. And then an island giant venus flytrap, and then it went away and no one’s heard of it since then.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, exactly. I know. We haven't—we haven't heard of it.

Eric (as Orello): Ah, well what if you—

Eric: He looks around, he looks over one shoulder and over another shoulder and over another shoulder.

Brandon (as Umbi): There's no one here, what are you doing?

Eric: And over another shoulder.

Brandon (as Umbi): You only have two shoulders.

Eric (as Orello): Well, what if you gave me two Amber's and I could get on that right now?

Julia (as Cammie): How about no? How about you take one.

Brandon (as Umbi): How about you’re lucky if we give you one.

Eric (as Orello): Well, how about you give me two and then I can you know, you know that I deal in currency for things, and I can't give you anything for free but I could definitely keep it out very much so and keep my big eye open, before I have to tell anyone information I already have. And then I can say, oh, well this was already bought from me, I can't bring it to anyone else that was already—had already purchased this, but I hadn't checked in with them yet, you know?

Brandon (as Umbi): How about we roll an intimidation check instead?

Julia (as Cammie): How about you do the thing we asked for?

Amanda (as Troy): How about we forget how you sold weapons to Audrey the Rotten Queen what almost got us killed three times.

Amanda: And Troy is going to step forward to intimidate him.

Brandon: Hell yeah. Can we do the help action too?

Julia: Yeah. Can I give a help action?

Eric: Yeah, you get can all intimidate. Yeah, you guys can all intimidate.

Amanda: Okay, Well, with help I can have advantage?

Eric: Oh, sure. Yeah.

Brandon: Do it.

Julia: But we're all gonna intimidate or just Troy?

Eric: No, just Troy, just Troy.

Amanda: I just rolled a 19 plus 6 for 25.

Julia: Fuck yes, Troy.

Brandon: Look at those fucking gleaming muscles.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric (as Orello): Oh, well. Let me— I guess, it says in the fine print of all of my contracts that I have that—

Amanda (as Troy): Never signed a contract with you.

Julia (as Cammie): Never signed a contract.

Eric (as Orello): I do need to fulfill all of my obligations in who I'm supposed to bring information about things to. But I, you know, part of the other thing I have is that if people give me a better price, then for a better price for that other than on something that's on retainer, I won't have to bring it to the people who've already paid me for such information as it is.

Julia (as Cammie): So who already paid you for this information?

Amanda (as Troy): The diamond knot.

Eric (as Orello): Well, I didn't say it and you did.

Julia (as Cammie): And was Troy right in saying that?

Eric (as Orello): I—wha— what you said it and I when—I’m nodding. And maybe there's some other representative and maybe there is an agent of said person keeping me on retainer who is here who's coming to collect that information in 15 minutes and maybe it needs to be purchased away before that person comes.

Amanda (as Troy): But what would stop you from giving it the information to her after taking our amber also?

Eric (as Orello): Oh, I didn't say her, it could be anyone.

Julia (as Cammie): This is like someone who has one arm and a hook for a hand.

Eric (as Orello): Oh—I—well, you're describing someone who it could be. I guess. I guess. But you know this the rules of the ro— that I don't I— being on retainer I only give them the information and stuff I have as it is.

Eric: And you notice that Orello has been sitting, on your 25 intimidation, you realize that Orello has been sitting on a box that has a sheet thrown over it.

Julia: Can I make a suggestion to my players here?

Brandon: Wait, first of all who the fuck are we talking about? Who has the hook?

Julia: Lucky Edie, it's fucking Lucky Edie.

Brandon: Lucky Edie has a hook? I didn't know that. I didn't realize that.

Eric (as Orello): Hook blade. Whatever is the ki—whatever it's same.

Julia: Now, may I make a suggestion where we hide? We wait 15 minutes, we see who shows up and then we kill that person who is clearly an informant for the diamond knot.

Brandon: Well, yes that— that I think that would take time, so instead what if I pitch you we pay the two Amber to Orello, get the key that's probably in the box or at least something that will lead us to the key. Also get the information of who the informant is and then just go and kill them.

Amanda: Yeah, I like that one. I think we give him one Amber, his life and take the thing.

Eric (as Orello): If you give me two amber then I'll ha— then you'll be protected by the Better Business Bureau’s Clause.

Julia (as Cammie): That's nothing.

Eric (as Orello): And then you can just walk away with it.

Brandon (as Umbi): He made that up

Julia (as Cammie): That's nothing. I've never heard of a better business bureau.

Brandon (as Umbi): More like Orell-no.

Amanda (as Troy): How about we spare your life, give you one amber and take whatever you're sitting on there, bud.

Eric (as Orello): We could do this amicably. I don't— I don't wa—I don't really want that. We could do it amicably, and then I can say you bought it. Wouldn't you want that or would you rather me telling the people who are going to show up, who keep me on retainer that you've —that you've stolen it from me, which I'll have to tell them the truth.

Brandon (as Umbi): Can we just give them the two Amber? I'm tired of talking to Orello.

Amanda: Yeah, I'm fine with that.

Brandon: Not me Eric, that's Umbi. I love talking to Orello.

Eric: Umbi, fuck you, Umbi.

Brandon: I know.

Eric: Umbi—Umbi loses one amber, it falls out of his pocket. His amber falls out of a hole in his pocket.

Amanda: Let's do two, let's buy it and then whoever wants to come after us, can come after us honestly.

Brandon (as Umbi): We're buying your silence though, right?

Eric (as Orello): Of cou— I'll buy the truth which is that someone bought this from me before I got a chance to give it away and I never looked inside.

Amanda (as Troy): And if—

Eric (as Orello): Wink.

Amanda (as Troy): —if the other person says like, oh, who bought it from, is it an incredibly handsome prince captain.

Eric (as Orello): No, I would say nothing because obviously I keep all of my secrets if— it is in the code of being a merchant upon the seas that you don't reveal your sources, just like journalism.

Amanda (as Troy): What's journalism?

Eric (as Orello): Democracy dies in darkness.

Amanda (as Troy): Okay, I think he's—I think he's—

Brandon: Panicking?

Amanda: —hallucinating. Let's— let's do it.

Brandon (as Umbi): Here you go, bud.

Eric: Incredible. Orello takes your two Amber, and then we cut back to where we were in the beginning of the episode. The cargo is floating upon the massive current created by the sea monsters that are swimming through the dissolving belt. And the crates roll and roll and roll through the current until they smash into the side of the island that rolls and washes up on the beach.

Eric (as Orello): Boop boop boop doing my regular walkthrough as I look through everything.

Eric: Orello has a metal detector, he's just like looking through piles of mulch, picking things out. It's like—

Eric (as Orello): Oh, there's a necklace, I'll take that. Oh, that revolver looks interesting.

Eric: And then a box washes up on to shore. And Orello looks over one shoulder than the other shoulder than the other shoulder and the other shoulder, then the other shoulder.

Brandon: He only has two shoulders.

Eric: He says—

Eric (as Orello): Dibsies!

Brandon: Takes out a crowbar and pops it open. And we have that shot from inside of the crate of just something glittering, the gold reflecting on his face. And he goes—

Eric (as Orello): Ho, ho, ho, ho.

Eric: And now the three of you, that same shot reflecting on your face, and you see that there is a key inside of this crate. It is the same size as the other key, about two feet long. It fits in your hand, but this one's a little bit different, as covering the entire key around the handle? The face—

Brandon: The butt.

Eric: The butt.

Amanda: The tum.

Eric: The tum of the key are many many many metal spikes. This is the key that still hurts.

[everyone cheers]

Julia (as Cammie): I hate that he just had this. Doesn't it feel wrong that he just had—that he just found it?

Amanda (as Troy): Two Amber feels like a deal, I'm okay with that.

Brandon (as Umbi): So who was going to pick us up?

Amanda (as Troy): Oh yeah, we have the right to know under better business babes that-- butts what the— what the buyer is that we've—that we've beat.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, the babes from the Bureau.

Eric (as Orello): Obviously, you know, I can't reveal my sources, but it's someone who's kept me on a retainer for a long time. Who you might know and is worth —and as a rep-- agent of the diamond knot, they require me to give them information every day at to— at—at 3:44pm.

Brandon (as Umbi): What does it rhyme with?

Amanda (as Troy): Baudrey or Beadie?

Eric (as Orello): It rhymes with Schmucky Smeedie.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, so it's Audrey. Got it.

Julia (as Cammie): She is schmucky, you're right.

Amanda (as Troy): Orello.

Julia: And then Troy's holds out a hand to shake.

Eric (as Orello): Yeah. Oh, you have such a strong grip.

Amanda (as Troy): It's good doing business with you.

Eric (as Orello): It's rippling.

Brandon (as Umbi): Troy lotions up every evening when he goes to bed.

Eric (as Orello): Umbi please, leave something to the imagination.

Amanda (as Troy): And if you feel like celebrating your windfall with someone who is in mourning, so be gentle. Lustrous is over there. He's the one screaming in black.

Eric (as Orello): No, I think I'm going to have to um, skedaddle but pleasure doing business with all of you. I guess it's —it's 4 minutes to 3:44 so I'm gonna have to do that and then skedaddle.

Amanda (as Troy): Bye now.

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.

Eric (as Orello): Goodbye. Are you—are you going to stay here or is this gonna happen?

Brandon (as Umbi): Well was your meeting here or what?

Eric (as Orello): She—she's coming here, she's coming here.

Amanda (as Troy): Alright.

Amanda: Troy is gonna heft up the crate and the sheet.

Eric: Hell yeah, do it.

Amanda: And what, let's hoof it back to the Sea Whip?

Julia: Yeah. I mean, I think we should ward this thing and keep it somewhere on the ship and stuff like that.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: And then we can go talk to Lustrous Recompan. Reconpense.

Brandon: Reconpanse.

Eric: Recompence.

Amanda: Yeah. We'll— we'll have it back to the Sea Whip.

Eric: Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

Julia (as Cammie): So like we're gonna kill Lucky Edie though at some point, right? Like that’s a thing that’s gonna happen?

Amanda (as Troy): On sight, yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Great. I'm usually not pro murder by like for her, the exception will be made.

Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, were pirates.

Amanda (as Troy): The diamond knot has infiltrated the hold, that's a big deal.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh shit that's true.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, that's bad and she's always asking questions about what we're doing—

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Specifically.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh maybe we shouldn't kill her immediately, maybe we should torture her and see if there's any other folks.

Amanda (as Troy): Oh like keep her tied up in the hold of the ship so that we can you know kind of ask her things.

Eric: This is why you Millie and Umbi get along so great. They both love violating the Geneva Conventions

Brandon: We don’t get along so great, Eric. We don't.

Eric: I don't know. That's not what all of the fanfiction I've been reading thinks.

Amanda: Eric, it's that thing where like, you kind of resent what you see of yourself in another person. So where should we put the crate guys in the haunted office next to the mold?

Brandon: Yeah.

Julia: Yeah, we're gonna put it in the haunted office. Let me look at some— some stuff I can do first.

Brandon: Maybe write on it with Sharpie that says not a key.

Julia: We're not going to do that.

Brandon: Oh, right, we should write, this is a key, and then they'll think it's not a key. I see, Julia. Yeah.

Amanda: And then write wink. Brandon, can you—can you set some like, you know how we buried that bomb, but didn't connect the tripwire? Can you do that to like some of the windows? Because what if we get robbed the same way as before and people try to get into the external window of the captain's quarter. I feel like it'd be a good idea to rig something there.

Brandon: I don't think—I think it's a great idea. I don't know that technically speaking, I'm allowed to do that.

Eric: It's a very good point. I didn't update the skill tree necessarily, but you could do that. Harold can definitely hook that up for you.

Amanda: Okay.

Eric: If you— if you use an extra thing on that.

Brandon: Like a security system.

Eric: Security system. Yeah.

Brandon: That's fun.

Julia: Yeah. I also have a spell called protect threshold.

Brandon: Ohh.

Julia: That I could use and put on the doorway for the secret office.

Eric: Oh, you know, the ghost is protecting it, Julia, so I'm not gonna let you do that.

Julia: That's true. Yeah. Well, you know, I want to give the ghost some well deserved break.

Eric (as Ghost): I'm going on break. I got my union mandatory ghost break.

Julia: Well, maybe— maybe not because it's a 10 minute thing.

Brandon: The spook break, is that it? Is that smoke break?

Eric: That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

Julia: I assume you were talking about a poop break with that pun, but that's just me.

Brandon: Julia, do you think businesses give people poop breaks?

Julia: They should. I'm pooping on the company's time, baby.

Eric: What is it—what is it? My boss makes a $1, I make a dime, that's why I'm a ghost on company time.

Julia: That's why I'm a ghost, who's pooping on company time.

Amanda: The intersection of poop jokes, pro labor and pirate shit—

Brandon: That's the Join the Party way.

Amanda: —that's us, baby.

Eric: That's it. That's it—that's the Join the Party promise.

Brandon: If I made 10% of my bosses profit, that'd be— I'd be fucking so rich. Not my boss specifically, but you know, the corporate boss.

Eric: Brandon, that your—

Amanda: Am I—am I your boss or is Jeff Bezos your boss?

Brandon: No, no, no.

Julia: I think general boss.

Brandon: General boss.

Eric: Unfortunately, that— that pro worker chant didn't keep up with inflation. That's the best we have.

Julia: I will say this is a very cool spell because it really does play on to the fact that we do have a ghost who haunts that office.

Eric: Pretty good.

Julia: Because it says, for the duration an invisible eldritch creature stalks the warded portal.

Brandon: Okay. Yeah, we got to do that good.

Eric: Pretty good.

Amanda: So let's put it in the cabin, disguise it best we can, and then maybe Julia, you can set that spell while we go out to seek Kid and or talk to Lustrous?

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: Cool.

Brandon: Yup.

Eric: Lovely. Alright, folks. Yeah, if you're out of Amber, what do you— are you ready to go?

Julia: Yeah, we should go talk to Lustrous then—

Brandon: Recompense.

Julia: Brandon, just as an aside, do you want to leave Bartlett in the office since he has like infinite distance from you?

Brandon: I do.

Julia: Alright, cool.

Brandon: And say—

Brandon (as Umbi): You stay right here. Tell us if anybody except for this Eldritch Horror comes near you, okay?

Julia: This invisible Eldritch Horror.

Brandon: And Eric, what does he say? What does Bartlett say back?

Eric: He says “ca-cawk”.

Brandon: Oh, I like that.

Julia: I like that Bartlett now has Umbi voice.

Eric: He's mimicked your voice but he just went [crusty bird noise]

Brandon: I love that.

Julia: Squawk.

Eric: Squawk.

Amanda: So can we talk to Lustrous to wrap up our time here?

Eric: Yeah, you can walk over and press X on Lustrous. Lustrous says—

Eric (as Lustrous): Oh, don't mind me, I'll just be here rending more of my clothes to symbolize how much I've missed Salix.

Eric: Just rips an entire strip off of the sil—the black silk and it just reveals his arm.

Julia (as Cammie): That's so much money you just ruined. Okay.

Amanda (as Troy): I'm sorry, bud.

Eric (as Lustrous): Cammie, one day when you've gone through enough bad things that's ever happened to you, you’ll truly understand. I don't know if you're from— I'm from Open Fields where they're all very strict and repressive.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay.

Eric (as Lustrous): And I don't know what's happened to you or where you're from. Cammie Cassis, regular name, not like me who was a weird name.

Julia (as Cammie): It is a regular name, that's correct.

Eric (as Lustrous): But—what—you know if you— if you understand what it's like to be me then you may be you'll feel such hardship like I do. And you know growing up in a dogmatic terrible—in a dogmatic religious society you understand the repression you need to work through.

Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, do you want me to kill him?

Julia (as Cammie): No, he's just speaking from the heart. It's fine.

Amanda (as Troy): That would be bad. Yeah,

Eric (as Lustrous): My tears have mixed from my face and with the salt of the ocean.

Brandon (as Umbi): Delicious.

Amanda (as Troy): I'll think of you man every time I see a tree that is too big.

Brandon (as Umbi): So not to change the subject, sorry about your pain and stuff, but we need things from you.

Eric (as Lustrous): Oh, wait hold on that— wait, hold on. Oh, sungulls to me.

Julia (as Cammie): No, I hate sungulls.

Eric: And there are some-- and some sungulls fly down holding a letters in their mouth be like—

Eric (as Lustrous): These were addressed to you. I didn't know if you needed them before you went.

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Julia: I was picturing like they were gonna spell something out like at a football game, and I was like what the fuck?

Eric: Like drones during a firework show. Yeah, yeah. Now I don't know. They'll do— they do— they do pirate mail. I'm sorry Julia.

Julia: That's okay. No, I just thought it was really funny.

Eric: Dear--

Julia: They start to spell it out in the sky.

Eric: Cammie-- [sungull crows]

Amanda: Thanks for coming!

Eric: Love, Lustrous.

Brandon: Umbi takes out a sword and stabs one of the ones with the letter and takes it down.

Julia: Cool.

Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks. Alright. Great.

Brandon: That's how pirate mail works, right?

Eric: Damn, dude.

Amanda: Hardcore.

Eric: That one is addressed to you, Umbi.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I opened it, Eric.

Eric (as Archie): Dear, my spiritual leader. Umbi, last name. I have gone on an adventure without you.

Brandon (as Umbi): He knows my last name, come on.

Eric (as Archie): I have gone on an adventure without you. I have found an adventuring partner. If you wish to follow you may.

Julia: Oh, I hope it's not Threelips, oh let it not be Threelips.

Eric (as Archie): You may follow in my stead but I am leading in the way that I will have to. When I eventually step to the mechanical throne that is builder. You may follow me or not. But if you follow me you may— you must follow behind me. And if you follow me in anger, do not follow me at all because I'll, you know, take you down and stuff. Forever your pupil, Archimedes Sevens.

Julia (as Cammie): I wonder how the throne is mechanical? Like what part of it is mechanical?

Amanda: Oh yeah. Does it like rise and lower?

Julia: Does it just like do gears just turn on it but it's all for show.

Eric: It's probably that one.

Brandon (as Umbi): Guys, I— I have horrible news, we have to kill Archie.

Julia (as Cammie): Why?

Amanda: Brandon, can you —can you perceive anything to see if there's like Threelip’s blood on this letter?

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Why don't you do an insight for Archimedes?

Brandon: 18 total, 14 plus 4.

Eric: There is—and even you would know this as someone who absolutely did not pay attention to one thing Archimedes ever said. Is that out of line? I don't think that’s out of line.

Brandon: I didn't stop you.

Eric: There is no way, Archimedes would partner on an adventure with someone he's bested. Like that is literally below him.

Julia: Okay, okay.

Eric: And remember as we flashback, Archimedes literally took down Threelips and threw him into the sea.

Julia: Alright, who else is missing?

Brandon: I mean Kid Cervantes, so he's with Kid Cervantes probably.

Julia: Maybe.

Brandon: Possibly.

Amanda: Okay.

Julia: Let's see what our other letters say.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: Maybe that'll help us figure it out.

Brandon (as Umbi): Guys, I have great news. We don't have to kill Archie anymore, I was wrong.

Julia (as Cammie): Awesome.

Amanda (as Troy): Good.

Julia (as Cammie): I like him, even though he doesn't remember my name.

Brandon (as Umbi): What's your name again? Gotcha. Troy, you're so funny.

Amanda (as Troy): Why am I in it?

Eric: There is a— this letter is—has been sealed and resealed various times. And it has all of those like you know, wait when you forward your mail to your new place when you move.

Brandon: Comes with like 17 stickers on it?

Eric: It has like 17 stickers on it. And it's— but it's not— it's not marked in any other way. It just like it's sees that you see like tons of stickers trying to find you here.

Julia (as Cammie): You should open it Troy.

Amanda (as Troy): Alright.

Brandon (as Umbi): You love reading.

Amanda: Troy like jumps a couple of times and grabs out of the sungulls.

Julia: Oh Cammie shoots it out of the sky with Eye of Anubis.

Amanda (as Troy): For some reason that's a line too far man.

Amanda: And Troy opens it.

Eric: There is a letter inside of a letter. This is on the back of like a restaurant menu. It says—to my dearest Prince in my heart, if not Prince in name. I thought you should know this. It was sent out to everyone on the privateer listserv. Vineyard.

Amanda: Hmm.

Eric: It wouldn't say commander because he would not say his name like that. It would just say Vineyard. And inside is a notice. For anyone looking for more privateer work, they are immediately staffing up to work on behalf of the diamond knot. Extra pay. Benefits? Keep all the treasure you find.

Brandon (as Umbi): Healthcare is death.

Eric: Healthcare? We'll cut it off.

Julia: So that's definitely what happened to the crew that we saw at the beginning of the episode. Got it.

Amanda: Yeah. Alright. So Troy shares it and shows it to his crewmates.

Brandon (as Umbi): Hmm.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. So I guess not everyone we saw was a zombie that was working for Audrey?

Amanda (as Troy): Maybe they didn't start that way, but maybe they are now.

Eric: You have another letter, it's not written in ink. It's actually just written like— it's almost like reverse Braille, you know how braille is all—is in—is raised bumps. They're all little holes that are punched out.

Julia (as Cammie): Kid Cervantes, got it. Cool cool cool.

Eric (as Kid Cervantes): This is the time when I call upon you. Meet me at the underwater prison. It's time we strike.

Brandon (as Umbi): Fuck yeah.

Eric (as Kid Cervantes): This is Kid by the way.

Julia (as Cammie): We got that, thanks.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Do we—do we know where that is?

Brandon (as Umbi): Underwater?

Julia (as Cammie): Helpful, Umbi.

Brandon: And then Umbie does a little jig.

Eric (as Kid Cervantes): You may a— PS you may find it on your own, or you can follow the trail of destruction that I leave behind me.

Brandon (as Umbi): God that guy's metal.

Amanda (as Troy): Love that guy.

Julia (as Cammie): That's hot.

Amanda (as Troy): Love that guy.

Brandon (as Umbi): So fucking cool.

Julia (as Cammie): Dope. Any other letters?

Eric (as Lustrous): No, just one from me out loud. Do you want to keep hanging out? We could like—we could hang out. We could—you could stay here.

Brandon (as Umbi): Is that the letter?

Julia (as Cammie): No. We have—we have stuff to do.

Amanda (as Troy): Can we— can we raincheck for like after we find the salmon and bring back the cascade?

Eric (as Lustrous): Yes. I must ask the three of you, if you look deep inside of your hearts, do you know what you would wish if you became face to face with the salmon?

Julia (as Cammie): Huh.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Amanda (as Troy): Almost.

Julia (as Cammie): Probably.

Eric (as Lustrous): Tell me, Umbi, what would you say?

Brandon (as Umbi): I'd say, first of all salmon, listen to the whole wish before you start doing it.

Eric (as Lustrous): Of course, of course. That—that's old school. That's an old school thing. You gotta make sure the salmon’s listening.

Brandon (as Umbi): Make sure to think of semicolons not periods. I would say first things first. Let's turn back on the cascade, baby. Semicolon.

Amanda (as Troy): You're right. If you had said it, I would have thought that was it.

Eric (as Lustrous): I say, I would have as well.

Julia (as Cammie): That’s the end.

Brandon (as Umbi): Exactly. Is that you get around that shit. This is why I'm so old, I know all the tricks. Um—

Amanda (as Troy): Wait, what if you wish for 100 wishes?

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, fuck.

Amanda (as Troy): WOAH!

Julia (as Cammie): Infini—Infinite wishes, Troy, infinite wishes.

Brandon (as Umbi): Is there a rule against that Mr. Pants? Oh no, Mr. Lust, that's what I called you.

Eric (as Lustrous): I don't—then, according to all mythology, I would assume yes, but I can't and I don't know what the salmon's particular predilections for wish refer—wish administration is.

Brandon (as Umbi): That's fair. Well, I would say turn back on the cascade and then semicolon, tell me all the history and—and stuff so I know all the stuff about everything and then can make the right decision.

Julia (as Cammie): But then it could die with you, Umbi.

Eric (as Lustrous): That's good.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I'm never gonna die. It's fine.

Eric (as Lustrous): You're not gonna wish that, you just—you just think it's gonna happen?

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, I lasted this long. Somebody's fulfilling my wish.

Eric (as Lustrous): Cammie, what would you wish?

Julia (as Cammie): I haven't thought about it as hard as I'm be. I guess so. I haven't thought about the exact wording. But I think I would make it so that like no one could ever like harm another person again.

Brandon (as Umbi): Boring, we're pirates.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay.

Eric (as Lustrous): And Troy, what would you wish for?

Amanda (as Troy): Truthfully, I don't really know yet. There's a lot of wishes in my heart, but only one wish can come out my mouth, you know?

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, that's real.

Eric (as Lustrous): I do know, I do. Well, Troy as much as your heart and your mouth, and now they're connected, you better figure that path out.

Amanda (as Troy): Good advice.

Brandon (as Umbi): Every time Troy eat something, it goes straight to his heart.

Amanda (as Troy): Woah. Is that what’s down there?

Eric (as Lustrous): Cammie, are you taking—you're taking critical feedback on your wish?

Julia (as Cammie): I mean, I didn't request it.

Eric (as Lustrous): That's why I asked if you were taking critical feedback or not, it's important.

Brandon: This is the first time the entire weekend that Lustrous has asked if someone wanted critical feedback.

Amanda: Death has changed him. Loss has changed him.

Julia (as Cammie): I don't know how I feel about what you're gonna say to me, but I suppose I can't stop you from saying it.

Eric (as Lustrous): The ramif—I wish is not something that can be treated lightly. It's—even if you think you're doing the right thing you might wish for something that's not right. Just think it through, even if it's your purest heart's intention, most times people don't care about that. They'll just do what you say.

Julia (as Cammie): Don't you think the salmon cares about that?

Eric (as Lustrous): I'd hope, but through this life, I don't know.

Brandon (as Umbi): I think if the salmon cared, he would have already—it would have already turned back on the cascade and shit so.

Eric (as Lustrous): Also Umbi,I think that if there's an a—I be worried in my—in my deep religious texts, I don't know if there's—if there's like a semicolon rule. They've been like churches that have split off—

Julia (as Cammie): Cause of semicolons, yeah.

Eric (as Lustrous): —a ro— that arose in Fall based upon this question.

Julia (as Cammie): They've taken different paths.

Eric (as Lustrous): Yeah, they have.

Brandon (as Umbi): The sim—the simschism. I don't remember that one.

Amanda: Yeah, the semischism.

Eric (as Lustrous): The semischism, that's right. I'd be concerned.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Julia: Stupid joke.

Brandon: Hey, I got Julia.

Amanda (as Troy): What would—what would you wish for?

Brandon (as Umbi): If you say your friend, I don't think that's what's really in your heart. Connect your heart to your mouth right now.

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Just like Troy.

Eric (as Lustrous): My heart knows that I'm someone who would never get the keys in order to even get myself there. That's what I know deep in my heart, but I think that you three can.

Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, man.

Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks.

Eric (as Lustrous): No matter what stands in your way, wish true, wish honest, and you know, do your best.

Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks.

Amanda (as Troy): I can do that. Thanks, man.

Brandon (as Umbi): You really turned a corner at the end here.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. If we see Salix, should we— should we give them your love or hate?

Eric (as Lustrous): Don't tell me. Just don't.

Amanda (as Troy): Dealer's choice. Got it.

Eric (as Lustrous): So where do you— where off to now?

Eric: And then the dialog box appears above Lustrous's head. Would you like to pursue Archie. Would you like to pursue Archie? Would you like to try to chase the weird sap ooze that came out of the pot? Would you like to follow Kid Cervantes, or do you want to stay with Lustrous?

Julia: Kid Cervantes.

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, I don't know about you too, but I feel like we've got— we've got to finish our part of a deal, you know?

Amanda (as Troy): Straight on till prison baby.

Julia (as Cammie): Kid Cervantes, Kid Cervantes, Kid Cervantes, Kid Cervantes

Brandon (as Umbi): Kid Cervantes, Kid Cervantes. A pirate is only as good as his word.

Amanda (as Troy): Let's go bust the prison, huh?

Eric: [confirmation boops] It's the arrow as you select follow Kid Cervantes.

Eric (as Kid Cervantes): Well, I think the path of destruction leads that way. You just set your cha— set your charts and your optical illusions for that.

Brandon: Can we hold up Michigan J Compass at the path of destruction?

Eric (as Compass): Bada boo doo doo doo it seems like he’s going that way boo boo boo.

Eric: Back at the wreckage of Pinebeard ship, you see that some pieces of cargo are too heavy to be caught up in the sea monster jetstream. We follow one piece of cargo this massive, massive, massive box that settles to the seafloor. With [boof] as the sand that distributes in all directions. The sun still streams down, illuminating something so deep. It's like dappled sun through a shady tree. And then you see something is moving, something is diving. The weird terrible sap ooze, moving like a jellyfish, undulates and squishes and squelches its way down down down. It reaches the cargo, settle it on the sea floor, envelops the front of it and just kind of like dissolves it, just gets into into the nooks and crannies and then consumes it from the outside. And then one side and the other side and the top. And then we reveal this big piece of cargo is is a very, very, very large key mold. And the ooze makes its way inside, slurps over and you see underneath, illuminated by the dappled light from the sky reaching to the bottom of the sea, you see that little daffodil buds are coming out of the ooze.

[theme]