You wonder what it’s like, being at camp before the other campers show up. But you’ve also never been on staff before, so you’re diving into the deep end. It’s all different now. Meet Phoebe, Les, and Carrie-Ann.
Camp-Paign Merch
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
[peaceful nature sounds]
Eric: Our first shot is of a dirt road. The growth of leaves have finally erupted on the trees that are sidelining this road. There is nothing else. You might hear the chirp of a few birds, maybe the low call of a creature - could be a cow, could be something else - off in the distance. But what we finally hear after a few seconds is the rumble of a yellow bus coming towards the camera. After that, after the rumble of the bus, we hear from the open windows coming from on the left side of the bus we hear-
Eric (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I would die!
Eric: And the right side of the bus you hear-
Eric (as Campgoers): For Camp Die!
Eric (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I would die!
Eric (as Campgoers): For Camp Die.
[Brandon cackles]
Eric: And then as the bus kind of goes over the camera as we like, see the undercarriage of it and we flip around and now Brandon, very important, the sides of the people cheering switch sides.
[Brandon giggles]
Eric: We are seeing the yellow bus just barely, barely getting under the covered bridge of the entrance of Camp Diogenes and we know it's Camp Diogenes because of the large sign over the covered bridge that says, 'Camp Diogenes: Do what you say, be what you do.'
Julia: Oh, that's so good.
Eric: In between the name and the motto are four images. One of a dog's paw print, one of a pine tree, one of a stone wall kind of a 3x3 stack of offset stones, and finally the sun. And then of course, Fortunate Son plays like we're in a Vietnam movie. [hums Fortunate Son]. And that is when the title card comes on screen. “Join the Party Presents: The Camp-Paign Episode 1: The Ice Breaker”.
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: Yeah!
Julia: Woooh!
[theme]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I would die!
Everyone: For Camp Die!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I would die!
Everyone: FOR CAMP DIE!
Eric: Alright, sports fans, summer camp-ites, and people who like being outside, I am your humble Keeper, Monster Friend and Camp Counselor, Eric Silver, and we're starting a new campaign, baby!
Everyone: Wooohooo!
Brandon: Eric, what's a Keeper? Is that like a dungeon man?
Eric: Uh, yes.
Amanda: Is that- Is that like a goalie in a fictional sport, which I've always thought was the sexiest position available on that team?
Eric: Yeah, it's what Amanda said. It's the thing that Amanda said.
Julia: That makes sense.
Eric: I am the Keep- The Lore Keeper, the Monster Keeper.
Brandon: Oooh!
Eric: And that's where weekly we're going to address the monsters.
Brandon: So instead of our GM or DM, I'm gonna start calling you our K.
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: Interesting, bold strategy.
Amanda: That makes it sound like Eric is a party drug and I'm kind of into it.
Brandon: Or I can call you Special K, your choice.
Amanda: Even more like a party drug.
Julia: With red berries!
Eric: Julia, you took it right out of my mouth. I come with berries.
Amanda: Well, there it is.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Real red berries.
Eric: Real red berries. Now, you might have heard of these previous episodes that we're doing Monster of the Week, a different game system that we did before, which was the one with the Dungeon and the Dragons. Don't worry, we are going to go back to that, maybe when we do something- when we do something else. But for now, we are going to play this. We are also new to the game system and I've spent quite a lot of time trying to teach this to myself, teach it to our players here and to make sure it is accessible for everyone to understand. So if you don't know how to play Monster of the Week, that's fine, we don't either. And we're going to make sure to do it with you. And if you do know how to play Monster the Week, wonderful. We're very excited to play a Powered by the Apocalypse game, which I think really does fit the podcasting boom of TableTop RPG media, especially Monster of the Week, which is literally like a Monster of the Week TV Show. So we were comics before and now this might as well be Supernatural or The X Files or Gravity Falls in my head.
Amanda: So into it.
Brandon: Something that the audience may not know about Mr. Brandon here, is that Supernatural was his favorite TV show for many years.
Julia: What?
Eric: I didn't know that.
Brandon: I started watching the Supernatural day and date of the first episode, like-
Eric: Whoa!
Brandon: -Wednesday at 7 when it first came out.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: I was there in front of my TV watching it, watched it on the premiere date and time for like, a decade maybe?
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Brandon, I have a question, and it's like, are you okay?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Great.
Brandon: No, I loved it. I mean, I was very sad at the finale, but I won't spoil anything, and I won't tell you why.
Amanda: And as bisexuals, Julia and I have just a bone-deep connection to the X Files.
Julia: That's true.
Amanda: Where life goals or wife goals is Mulder and Scully, so couldn't be more excited for this one.
Julia: I'm also a huge Gravity Falls fan. So these are all things that we love.
Eric: Yeah, Gravity Falls and Over the Garden Wall, but for summer are my two touchstones here.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: While also pulling from Supernatural and X Files as well. So I'm very excited for what we have in store here.
Amanda: Oh, my god, so tasty.
Julia: Whoo!
Eric: The first thing we're going to do since this is our first game session, we are going to do some scenes after this. But the first thing that I would love to do is to have each of you introduce your characters. We are going to follow the way that you're supposed to introduce your characters in actually Monster the Week. You're supposed to do before your first episode, no one else does this, people play for fun and don't do it in episodes. So before your first game, you would do this. So we're gonna go around and everyone's gonna introduce their characters. So first, we're going to start on the playbooks, which is what we call them, we call them playbooks, we don't call them classes. On the playbooks, there's like a 'Getting Started' section. So we're going to do the kind of the look section as we meet each of our characters.
Amanda: Well, I'm so glad that you opened this episode, Eric with the yellow bus hurtling down the dirt road because the person leading that chant who's been leading it for the roughly 90 minutes that the bus has been driving. The-
Eric: When it picked all the kids up at a Denny's parking lot.
Amanda: Exactly.
Eric: Exactly.
Amanda: Yeah, I was gonna say Applebee's, but Denny's also totally true.
Eric: Everyone put your breakfast fast-casual restaurant-- family oriented restaurant in here.
Amanda: Ever since the pickup location, Carrie-Ann Marigold Price has been leading this chant, tears streaming down her face, looking out the window and inhaling the breeze like her life is just beginning. Because for her it is, because there's no life outside of camp. There's no identity without camp. There's no purpose. There's no goal. There's no reason to live, if not for Camp Die.
Eric: Oh, hey, Amanda, do the first letters of Carrie-Ann Marigold Price spell anything?
Amanda: They sure do, they spell, CAMP. And if you were to point out that on her birth certificate and her school records her middle name is Rose, she would say, "You're a liar" because who would give their kids the initials CARP when it could be CAMP?
[laughter]
Amanda: So it's another flower and it's a Marigold and her name is CAMP! It's been written in the stars, people. She is going to be Camp Die one day!
Eric: Amanda, can you spell Carrie-Ann's name, and what are their pronouns?
Amanda: Yes, C A R R I E-A N N. That's her first name Carrie-Ann. Marigold like the flower. Price, P R I C E. She is a young woman, she's 13 years old. She has a strong body. She's wearing kind of thrift store clothes. I would put it somewhere between archaic and unfashionable here in the playbook because everything, everything in her wardrobe, it's like, she's cosplaying as a student for the rest of the year. Everything she is and does is about camp. So lots of like cargo pants, cargo shorts, utility like socks and sneakers, and a huge collection of vintage T-shirts that she has straight up stolen from pool sides and lockers and lost and founds over the years of her time at Camp Die. Her entire summer wardrobe is Camp Die shirts throughout the ages.
Eric: Oh, yes. I– I like the idea that like there's always some combination of those four images, but it's in some various orientation of them with different types of fonts-
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: -indicating what year it is.
Amanda: They like updated the paw clip art to include nails one year and she has a bunch of pre-nails shirts that she finds really, really satisfying. She thinks she's cool, and that's enough for her.
Julia: Incredible. Probably towards the back of the bus and not as enthusiastically screaming as Carrie-Ann is, is Phoebe Cooper. P H O E B E Cooper, like the job.
Brandon: Phoebe Cooper? I love it.
Julia: Phoebe Cooper. Thank you.
Eric: Oh god, god, Julia.
Julia: Shout out to the people who got the pun.
Eric: Why can you just give me a second? Julia, just hold on one second. [off-mic] FUCK! DAMN IT!
Julia: If I don't make a character's name that is some kind of pun, I've made a mistake here.
Eric: That's fair.
Amanda: [whispers] What's the pun?
Eric: D.B. Cooper was the guy who jumped out of the plane.
Amanda: [whispers] Oh, I see. Yes, thank you, thank you.
Eric: Yeah.
[Brandon cackles]
Julia: Stole a bunch of money.
Amanda: Excellent.
Julia: She/her, she's sitting at the back of the bus and probably has like a very big backpack full of fantasy books sitting in the seat next to her. Not another person, a bag full of books.
Eric: Julia, can you give me the titles of three of those books?
Julia: Sure. The Owl’s Messenger.
Eric: One.
Julia: The Salts of The Sand.
Eric: Two.
Amanda: Oooh.
Eric: Perfect that you did the format, I was hoping for that.
Julia: And then Eric, remind me what the name of the fictional book series that you came up with was?
Eric: Oh, Knights Collide.
Julia: And Knights Collide.
Brandon: Three.
Amanda: Oh, my god incredible.
Eric: Perfect.
Amanda: Effortless, stunning.
Julia: She has kind of like mid length mousy brown hair, darker eyes, and she’s like a medium build for her age again, like a 13-year-old girl. She's wearing, like a too new, too blue denim jacket over a graphic tee, that says Springfield Library Reading List, and then it's just a big owl with a big thumbs up, and like khaki shorts. And she is having not the best time on this bus. Last year, you know, she definitely had a bunch of people around her chatting and all of that, this year kind of sitting by herself. And things are weird and she's just glad to be at camp because maybe things will be less weird at camp?
Eric: Maybe? I'm sure, I'm sure.
Brandon: Across the aisle from Phoebe the bebe Cooper, you see a boy who maybe looks a little bit too old for his age, if that makes any sense?
Julia: Like he was cast in a Hollywood High School TV show?
Brandon: Exactly. Yeah.
Amanda: Frantically shave his stubble between takes.
Eric: There's real strong Martin Starr in Freaks and Geeks energy, it's like this child is 6'5.
Brandon: And has too many muscles for being so skinny, you know that kind of vibe? Very odd. But this young man's name is Les Proenneke. L E S P R O E N N E K E, pronouns are he/him and he is wearing very functional clothes, he's a very functional man. Kind of frumpy, lots of like earth greens and brown earth tones. He's got like nylon, quick drying pants that are convertible into shorts.
Julia: Naturally.
Amanda: So good.
Eric: Perfect.
Brandon: And like a polyester light hoodie that's rainproof and his-- next to him, you see his hiking backpack. And you can see sort of like a rain shell for that hoodie popping out of the backpack. And you can also see his pretty ugly, but very functional hiking boots in his backpack because he's wearing his Jesus strappy sandals, that are hiking sandals. And always just, you know, it's probably-- what is it outside right now, Eric? Like, you know, 72? 74?
Eric: Oh, yeah, for sure.
Brandon: He's definitely wearing a beanie and he always wears a beanie.
[Eric laughs]
Julia: Natch.
Brandon: And he is reading a book titled, if you were to zoom in on it, The Book of the Damned by Charles Fort.
Eric: Incredible. Alright, we got Carrie-Ann we got Pheebs, and we got I'm already nicknaming you better- better-
Julia: Cool.
Eric: And we’ve got Les. Wonderful. All right. Well, now that we know each of our characters, I think this is time for us to talk about our playbooks and you talk about our stats and moves. So again, playbooks instead of classes. Now everyone go around, and we're going to talk about our playbooks and what kind of like archetype of this particular medium that we're playing that kind of tell-- like is for you?
Amanda: Yeah, so I am playing the 'Initiate' playbook for Carrie-Ann and the description on my playbook is, "Since the dawn of history, we have been the bulwark against darkness. We know the evils of the world and we stand against them so the mass of humanity need not fear. We are the flame that cleanses the shadows.” And this is the melodrama and sense of responsibility Carrie-Ann feels toward Camp Die. There is nothing she wouldn't do for it. And no rule she wouldn't follow or break in order to protect what she finds highest and dearest to her, and that is preserving camp against the forces that would take camp away from her.
Eric: I like this is supposed to be like you're part of a monster-fighting society-
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And we’re like, no, it's for camp.
Amanda: No, she's self-elected. There's no one else except for the staff members for whom this is a summer job. And Carrie-Ann shows up more serious than any child has ever been about camp and making camp happy.
Eric: Yeah, so what we're going to do first and we're gonna talk about our stats. So the first thing you do is for Monster of the Week once you figure out what your– your person looks like and what your playbook is, you pick your stats from a list. You do Charm, which is what you use to manipulate someone. There's Cool which you use to act under pressure or do help out, to help someone else. Sharp, which is to investigate a mystery or read a bad situation, kind of the Perception and Investigation of Monster the Week. Tough, which is kick some ass or protect someone, self-explanatory, and Weird which is what you use to use magic or some other like unexplainable circumstances.
Amanda: Intuition, something like that.
Eric: Exactly. So we're gonna get into that shortly. So, Amanda, what are your abilities? And then we'll talk about your move.
Amanda: Yes. So Carrie-Ann is Charm is zero is flat, she's okay at manipulation. Cool and Sharp are both 1, so she is pretty okay at acting under pressure helping out investigating a mystery, reading a bad situation. -1 to Tough not- not the person you want to call on to kick ass or protect someone. But 2 to Weird. And like Eric said, normally that has to do with magic. But we are going to be using some alternate moves from Tome of Mysteries, Brandon and me specifically. So Carrie-Ann's Weird move is going to be to trust her gut, consulting my instincts about what to do next, so that's +2 to weird.
Eric: Yes, and when you do that, you kind of like, read out exactly what it is and we will be sure to read out those moves as it happens. Amanda, what are your class-specific moves? What does the Initiate get?
Amanda: So the Initiates starts every session by basically getting like a side quest from my sect. So the administrators and the staff members of camp, when I'm in good standing with them, I roll plus Charm at the beginning of each session. And if I get a 10 or above on my 2 D6 roll, they give me useful information or maybe some help in the field. If I give 7 to 9, they give me a mission, a side quest associated with the mystery. And if I do it, I'll get help or information. But if I miss they asked me to do something bad. And if I fail or refuse an order, I will be in trouble with the sect until I atone. So that's my first move. Secondly, I have a secret oath, binding myself to a single goal. And I have to forsake something, the examples they give are anything but bread, water, alcohol, lying, sex, think about like classic atonement. And then when I keep my oath and work toward this goal, I get to kind of mark experience quicker. So my oath is "No rule breaking." I follow the letter of the law because I don't want anything on my permanent record preventing me from getting the full-time camp counselor and eventually camp director position that I have forecast for myself at 22, come on, people!
Julia: That’s so early.
Amanda: Finally, I have a mentor. So the Director of Camp is willingly or not my mentor, I can contact them for info. And then Helping Hand to so I have kind of like extra buffs when I help out someone else in my party. And then finally, in terms of my gear, I have a big ring of keys that I've pilfered, stolen, and copied from staff members throughout the years.
Eric: Yes, that’s a– it's a weapon.
Amanda: That I use as a weapon like picture keys between my knuckles that I can punch somebody and a flare gun, which I have for help or for shooting as a sort of medium-range missile at people nearby.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright, Julia. Why is Pheebs having such a hard time?
Julia: So Phoebe's playbook is the Spooky which is, “I can do things. Things that normal people can't but there's a price I haven't paid in full yet. But the bill is going to come due soon. It's best I don't tell you anymore, you get too close, you'll get hurt.”
Brandon: No, but Julia, read your character's--
Julia: I'm sorry. That was just like me like, monologuing about my life and my choices?
Amanda: Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Eric: Julia, we're recording, why are you talking about yourself?
Julia: I don't know. I just felt like maybe you guys would want to hear the monologue that I was planning on doing for an open mic night like–
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: That seems cool, right?
Amanda: That's good. That's good.
Julia: But yeah, this is very much the like, mysterious force has given me powers and probably comes with the cost-- I feel like it's the warlock of Monster of the Week-
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: -for our D&D fans. And yeah, I get some really cool interesting stuff with that. But first, let's talk about my ratings. So Phoebe has a -1 to Charm.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: A -1 to Cool.
Amanda and Brandon: Oh, no!
Julia: +2 to Sharp. +0 to Tough but we'll get to why that is later and +2 to Weird.
Amanda: I'm sensing a theme that we're all pretty weird.
Julia: We're all pretty weird. We picked weird playbooks guys. We did it.
Brandon: No, but are our characters weird? That’s two.
Julia: Yes, also that.
Eric: Brandon, if you do it a third time, it's comedy, Brandon. Yeah, so you're Weird specifically. So the reason why we're doing different types of Weird is that Julia can do magic.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: The Spooky gives you magic powers. So the move that you get is just Use Magic, which is a specific type of thing you get to do in Monster of the Week. It's like I'm gonna try to do something supernatural and then you get to do it.
Julia: Yeah, exactly. And I have some really cool moves that are specific to the Spooky as well. So the three that I chose were Premonitions, which is basically at the start of each mystery I get to roll Weird, and if I roll high enough I get a detailed vision of something bad that has yet to happen. And I can add +1 forward to prevent it from coming true and mark experience if I stop it. On a 7-9, I get a clouded image of something bad that is yet to happen and I mark experience if I am able to stop it, and then on a miss I get a vision of something bad happening to me specifically, and then the Keeper holds 3 which is basically a one for one penalty that Eric can dole out to me at anytime.
Amanda: Sounds high stakes, love it.
Julia: High stakes. The other one that I picked and because my Weird is so high is very useful to me is the Big Whammy, which is I can use my powers to Kick Some Ass, so I roll Weird instead of Tough and that attack does 2 harm close obvious ignore armor which is great but on a miss, I get magical backlash.
Eric: This is a real, yeah, it is some real Warlock stuff in that like you can't punch but like your magic can punch.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Which is very- feels very true.
Amanda: I sense some- some like Wild Magic surge vibes and you know that's my favorite.
Julia: You thought Brandon was chaotic in the last campaign, wait until Phoebe gets out. And then finally I have Jinx which is basically I can encourage coincidences to occur in the way that I want I roll Weird and then it gives me different options depending on how well I roll, such as interfering with another hunter helping another hunter interfering with a monster minion or bystander, inflicting harm, having targets find something that you left for them, or having those targets lose something that you will eventually find.
Eric: The magic in Monster of the Week is very kind of like, I don't know, like witches in like Bewitched or something, how they can just like do whatever.
Julia: It's very, like Carrie in my mind.
Eric: Yeah, Carrie.
Amanda: You know? Like the classic Stephen King novel.
Eric: We're very much moving away from superhero stuff where you- you can only do specific things as your powers, and now it’s just, Phoebe's magical. Yeah, that's just how it-- how it do.
Julia: Yep, yep, that's true.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: Yeah, so I think for my gear, my options were like, all guns and then big knife so I guess I'll pick big knife. So Phoebe has like a kitchen knife because sometimes Phoebe helps with the kitchen and all of the– the waffle making accessories, like the prep for the waffles.
[giggles]
Eric: I do love the idea that like they let- that you brought your kitchen knife from home because all the knives are terrible.
Julia: Yeah, Phoebe's got a really fancy like, Japanese folded metal knife that she keeps in her bag and that's not weird. I just learned how to filet fish.
Brandon: Is it me?
Eric: Yes, Brandon, it's your turn.
Brandon: So I am from the Tome of Mysteries, as Amanda said before. I am The Searcher. And my little quotation that describes my playbook reads, "There's still so much to be discovered and explained even now, perhaps only one event and 1000 is true weirdness, but I'll investigate them all to find out."
Eric: But Brandon, what does it say on your playbook?
[Amanda giggles]
Brandon: That three, baybee!
Eric: That's three, it’s comedy! We did it.
Brandon: So Les' ratings start with Charm at +1. And then I have a -1 to Cool, which again has a reason like Julia, and then a +1 to Sharp, a 0 to Tough, and a +2 to Weird, we're all big weirdos.
Julia: Big ol’ weirdos.
Eric: This is so great.
Amanda: No one's tough.
Brandon: And going on to my moves. So, my first move that I get is called First Encounter. One strange event started me down this path sparking my need to discover the truth behind the unexplained. And I chose this one to be a cryptid sighting. So my event that I am using for Les here is a– I'm gonna say real, but you know what I mean - event but a lot of people report one specific person I forget their name, but they reported that they were tent camping in the wilderness. But in this case, Les was tent camping in the North Cascades in Washington State around Stehekin and when he was sleeping, he had a run-in with a potential Bigfoot.
Julia: Whoa!
Brandon: From the inside of a tent, you could see an open hand with an opposable thumb, which is strange. And it sort of like, hit the tent and sort of collapsed it down a little bit. And so, Les crawled out really quietly, lit a fire, but it was gone by time he got out obviously. And for the next probably 40 minutes or so, you could tell something was probably out there but couldn't see it. But something did throw pine cones at Les while he was sitting there.
Julia: Not the pine cones.
Brandon: Mm-hmm.
Eric: Did Les know that it smelled like Sasquatch booty?
Brandon: No, that-
Eric: Was that a part of it?
Brandon: You're thinking of the stink ape.
Eric: Oh, I get. I get it.
Julia: Skunk ape, yeah.
Brandon: Skunk ape.
Eric: No Stink Ape, totally different.
Julia: Stink Ape-- Stink Ape is up in the Northwest and Skunk Ape is down in the Southeast.
Eric: Exactly, totally different. Totally different.
Amanda: The mountain lobster of the season. Yeah.
Eric: They have a similar ancestor but they split kinda like 5000 years ago.
Julia: It's the scent glands in the ass that helps you know what it is.
Eric: It's where the scent glands are.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: And as a replacement for my Weird move, again from the Tome of Mysteries, an alternate basic move is called No Limits. When I push my physical body past its limits I roll + Weird and I get to do feats of physical strength. Nothing like supernatural think more mother who lifts a car off their baby with adrenaline, less-
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: -you know, throw a planet or something, you know?
Amanda: Is that what- is that what Guy Fieri does when he goes on a- on a like road trip and then eats a bunch of, I don't know, quesadilla with onion rings as the tortillas?
Brandon: And as he's eating them, he says-
Brandon (as Guy Fieri): No Limits!
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Guy Fieri): That's out of bounds. I rolled a 12.
Amanda: A 13? Guy, how'd you do that on a 2 D6?
Brandon: Now my final two moves. The first one is called Just Another Day. And this is what I was talking about with my ratings. When I have to act under pressure due to a monster phenomenon or mystical effect, I roll + Weird instead of + Cool. So I'd role +2 instead of +1, which is very helpful. And my final is called Network, I gain an ally group of others who had experiences similar to my first encounter, perhaps they’re a support group or a hobbyist club. And me and Eric decided that these will be The Trippers and Eric can explain what The Trippers are. But in my head, their specialties include a caver, a diver, a boat man/rafter, a photographer, and a botanist.
Julia: I love a botanist.
Eric: Yeah. I like the idea we're gonna get into it, but I do like the idea of these are all like, all these are like college students who like, did something fucking weird. It's like, yeah, me and my family go to caves. It's cool. Is what we do. We do it on spring break. It’s fine.
Julia: We're a cave family, you know, big spelunkers.
Brandon: Les is definitely that kid in high school that like, seemed way too well put together and mature for a high schooler because he happened to have a hobby that was way outside of what anyone normally would do.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: And then that puts you into contact with other weirdos from other high schools across the state that do the same thing.
Amanda: Yeah, I felt that way about a girl that played double bass in band.
Brandon: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: It's like you know something I don't.
Eric: Hey, where's Les? I wanted to dance with him at the eighth-grade prom. Oh, he's- he's in the woods with Skunk Ape. Sorry.
Brandon: Yeah. He's literally hanging off of a cliff right now on a mountain.
Amanda: Smash cut.
Eric: Smash. Smash cut, he's wearing a bow tie, which is very impressive. And hit me with your gear, bud.
Brandon: Yeah, I finally my gear. According to the playbook. I get a laptop, a car, a motorcycle, a camera, binoculars, two sets of investigation tools, and one self-defense weapon. I am going to scrap the laptop because that's cheating. And then instead of a motorcycle, it'll be a dirt bike.
Julia: Nice.
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: Because I am a child.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: And then for my investigation tools, I picked cryptid hunting gear, which can include anything from a trap camera to plaster of paris for making molds of prints. “Cryptid bait”, which I'm calling in quotations, Whistlegrass, rope, etc. And then for my second tool, it's a historical documents and witness reports of strange events. And that is my copy of The Book of the Damned by Charles Fort. Which details many strange things, it's like an encyclopedia for strange events. And then for my self-defense weapon, I picked a walking stick, which is one harm.
Eric: The cool thing about the walking stick-- like that one's we didn't like come up with that one. That one's in your playbook. What's the tag on it?
Brandon: Innocuous.
Eric: Innocuous that like you can just have it at all times and no one will think that you like have a giant kitchen knife, for example.
[Brandon cackles]
Brandon: Who would have a giant kitchen knife as a camper, that sounds weird.
Eric: Yeah, that's wild.
Julia: She's weird, I don't- I don't know.
Eric: Yeah. So I think we touched on this before but everyone I think is 13 or 14 because the kids who are on the bus are young adults in fact, because they are going from eighth grade into ninth grade. And hey– you guys want to come with me into the-- into Camp Diogenes?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: We do.
Julia: Oh, yeah.
Eric: Jump into this book, it's not cursed!
Brandon: [in a plumber tone] Here I go!
Julia: Whooohooo!
Eric: It's a me! Alright.
Amanda: Campio!
Eric: [giggles] Campio.
Julia: [in an Italian accent] Campio!
Brandon: This is all a ploy for Eric to get us trapped in this book.
[gasp]
Eric: Yeah, I need your souls and it's because I, my third twin is stuck in the-- in the Shadow Realm and I need to get them out.
Amanda: Eh, fair.
[everyone agreeing]
Brandon: You could've just asked, we would have all agreed.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I could just have all your souls? Dammit!
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Shit.
Amanda: It's the least we can do.
Julia: Just polite asking, you know?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: You never know.
Amanda: I've got souls to spare.
[wheezing]
Julia: Though I feel like taking souls is more of a like, ask forgiveness than ask permission kind of thing.
[everyone laughing]
Eric: True.
Julia: Personally.
Amanda: You know, Julia, that's one of the things that you learn in your first job that they really should teach you in high school like talk about practical skills that would have been really useful.
Eric: I need to learn how to do my taxes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And I need to know how- if it's okay to take the souls-
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: -of my friends.
Amanda: I know!
Julia: Exactly.
[midroll]
[calming sound and theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. As a kid, my family was one of those where we would like leave these, you know, baseball game an inning early so that we didn't get caught up in traffic, you know, on our way out of the parking lot. Or we would go to dinner at 5 PM instead of 6 so that we didn't have to wait in a long line and that really stuck with me as an adult. Such that if there's something fun happening in my city, like a festival or a parade, my first thought is like, too crowded. I don't know, you know, what a, is there gonna be lines like, No, thank you. But I have friends who are very good at, you know, convincing me to do touristy things to do stuff that is popular, but it's popular because it's fun. And so something very summer is taking the ferry over to Governors Island here in New York City and experiencing a really amazing urban park, and something that I probably would not do on my own. But you know what, sometimes that half hour ferry line is really worth it. So today's midroll is brought to you by doing a thing that has a line because sometimes the line, that means it's good. First and foremost, thank you to all of our newest patrons, Eric McKay Artemis, Misha, Rachel Spencer, Rob Skye, Ali, and Keith, we're so glad that you have joined the Patreon just in time for the Camp-Paign. We have put in months and months of work into preparing this summer campaign for you learning a whole new game system and of course, teaching it to all of you as we go along. We can put that kind of time and effort into Join the Party because of the support you give us on Patreon. We couldn't do it otherwise. We get to make a ton of exciting bonus content for you as well. Party Planning episodes every other week, bloopers, character playlists, and of course a thriving community of other Join the Party listeners in our patron-only Discord. There is nothing like opening up Discord the morning of a new episode release and seeing all of you talking about it. So if you want to join them fun and support the show and tell us that you are happy and excited about the work that we're putting in in the summer to come, please join us at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. Now with this episode Camp Diogenes is officially open and that means so is our merch store. That's right people, as of today, you can pre-order your Camp Die hats, shirts, posters and logo stickers. Plus download a copy of that incredible summer camp theme song that was in the beginning of this episode. We are so obsessed with this merch. Zoe did such a good job turning Eric's vision of the camp logo into a reality. You can get a dad hat with the logo embroidered on the front. I'm extremely camp vibe t-shirt. I can just see Carrie-Ann wearing it and now I am going to wear it as well. A spooky poster all about Camp Die. And of course, a vinyl sticker that you can put on your water bottle, laptop, cooler. Basically, anything you take with you on your summer adventures, your Gameboy, I don't know put it on there. preorder them now and pick up the theme song today at jointhepartypod.com/merch. Did you know that Join the Party is part of the Multitude podcast collective. And I think you'll really like one of Multitude other shows, Next Stop. This is an audio sitcom. It explores the turbulent time of your mid to late 20s When everyone's changing around you and you're a little bit worried that you might not catch up across the 10 episodes of its first season. Next Stop follows three roommates through work relationships, friendships, and more. We watch them grow together as a unit no matter what life throws at them. It is so wholesome. It definitely reminds me of all those classic sitcoms I grew up watching but there is updates for the 21st century gives you something to laugh out without punching down which is a real Eric Silver special and he indeed wrote and created it it was directed and edited by Brandon. Executive Produced by me and casted and assistant directed by Julia. Season One is out now. So search for Next Stop in your podcast app or go to nextstopshow.com. Perfect road trip listening. Today we are sponsored by United By Blue. This is a clothing and outdoor accessories company that focuses on sustainability and ethical product sourcing for every product purchased United By Blue removes one pound of trash from oceans and waterways. That's the blue in the name because we're all united by the blue of this planet. They are my favorite place to shop for clothing and accessories for outdoor summer hangouts. Like this amazing 32 ounce insulated water bottle that I use to bring cocktails to the park. There's many straws, a reusable utensil kit, a picnic blanket, there's so much to make outdoor summer hangs really, really comfortable. They're also a Certified B Corporation, which means that they stick to certain standards of ethics and sourcing and treating their employees which is amazing. Check them out and get a special discount at jointhepartypod.com/ubb. That's jointhepartypod.com/ubb. We are also sponsored by NordVPN. This is an easy-to-use VPN, Virtual Private Network that lets you browse the internet safely and freely. You connect with just one click or enable auto connect for zero click protection. Every time I use a public Wi-Fi network, I make sure my VPN is on it is great for privacy and security. They have more than 5000 servers in 60 countries. So you can either find a server near you for better speed or connect to a faraway location to freely explore the internet. NordVPN is the fastest VPN out there. Trust me, I have tried a lot of them and they work on every major platform. Windows, Android, iOS, Mac OS, and Linux. Even your Android TV supports NordVPN. Very cool. Grab your exclusive NordVPN deal by going to nordvpn.com/jointheparty to get a huge discount off your Nord VPN plan plus one additional month for free. It is completely risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Finally, now a word from our sponsor BetterHelp. Life can be overwhelming and a lot of people are burned out without even knowing it. Symptoms can include lack of motivation, irritability, fatigue, and more. I know I've definitely felt this myself. We associate burn out with work but that's not the only cause. Any roles in life whether that's being a friend, a family member, a caretaker can lead us to feel burned out and weekly therapy is one of the ways that I help deal with and prevent burnout in myself. And I do my therapy through BetterHelp because it is cheaper and more convenient to do than traditional in person therapy. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anybody on camera if you don't want to. It is much more affordable than in person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty that's better H E L P .com/jointheparty and now, let's get back to camp.
[theme]
Eric: Guys, we're back.
Brandon: We're back, baybee!
Eric: Alright, so I think 12 of y'all jump off of the bus. And you are the CIT class of this summer at Camp Diogenes. CIT stands for Counselor in Training. This is kind of like the in-between, the liminal job you have between camper and staff member, which you are starting after ninth grade of high school and then going onwards depending on how long you stay there. Carrie-Ann, you will be- as you stay forever. You are on the precipice of the rest of your life.
Amanda: Yeah. Why are you, why do you have a weird tone? That's my plan.
Eric: I'm the narrator, you can't talk to me.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. Alright.
Eric: I'm narrating. Piss, shit shit. So when you're supposed to do-- you know the camp, you've all been campers here before-- you hop out as the bus parks in the-- in the parking lot, which is next to the very large field that is kind of the central element of Camp Diogenes. And I think you see a bunch of staff members who you recognize in the middle and the director shouts out to you and says,
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright, everyone put down your- put down your stuff in the CIT cabins and then we're gonna meet back here in 10.
Eric: You split up on the Boys' Hill, on the Girls' Hill, which on the left and right of the camp, and you can throw your stuff down. As you walk by you also see all of the other cabins for all the other campers. You see that they're kind of like staff cabins, where they hang out and some of the specialty staff kind of all sleep together in that area. A lot of the counselors sleep in the cabins that they are assigned. And here are the different cabin groups. So this goes from 8 to 13 or 14 depending on what grade you are. The youngest kids, the eight-year-olds, are the Cardinals. And then there are the Orioles, the Goldfinches, the Flycatchers, the Kingfishers, and the Sabrewings.
Amanda: They kept getting cooler.
Julia: I love Kingfishers.
Amanda: I love them.
Eric: You're all in Sabrewing last year, and that is kind of your final-
Amanda: Wait, wait. Can I- can I just- can I ask? Okay, Brandon and Julia on the count of three, we're gonna do the Sabrewing salute. Okay, ready? Let's just- let's just see what happens here. Okay. Alright, ready? 1-2-3.
[salute self-Fx]
[hearty laughter]
Eric: There are a lot of hand movements quickly. It worked. Combination of a bird and a sword, absolutely.
Amanda: I'm living my childhood dreams.
Eric: It's important to notice the last time that a lot of you saw each other was at the last day of camp Saberwing, I guess special like, event or activity, where you ended up going to the Locks, which is on that we talked about in the worldbuilding, which is a little bit outside of camp. And you all-- everyone got like a lock, and they put it out on a fence that was out there. And they kind of wrote their name and a little- and a little note on there. And everyone was very, very upset, very sad. They were also-- you were there all night. So we were like 2/3 AM and you're just like, “I'm never gonna have friends ever again” sort of thing.
Julia: We just kept singing, [singing tearfully] "As we go on-"
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: [singing tearfully] "We remember-"
Amanda: One ukulele missing a string.
Eric: You're doing that and then immediately go into eighth grade, like Jesus Christ.
Amanda: Lots happening.
Eric: Yeah, there's a lot going on. So you all throw down your stuff and you will hustle back to the main field, the center field and you all sit down as the staff members here are going to kind of orient you because this is the first day of CIT week. This is before the campers show up and you kind of get a few days of like team building activities and like education. A lot of the staff have already been here. There was a staff week before this and now this is CIT week and then the campers are going to come in the next few days-- in kind of like next week. Next Monday if today's Wednesday. So standing in front of you is the director. This is Director Löw. L O with an umlaut W. She's a 5 foot 2 white woman, she is pale but flushed. So she's always like a little bit red. She uses radiating energy coming off of her skin and also just her general intensity. She has a round face and stocky, but you cannot push her over whether you are a person or a stiff wind. She is low to the ground, has a good center of gravity and no one can push her over.
Amanda: That's really nice to say about me, Eric.
Eric: I know you're tall. She's short.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Yeah, she's wearing a flower print button down which reminds you of maybe your grandmother's wallpaper. She has so- so many lanyards on her neck and she also has a keychain which also has lanyards coming off of it which is incredibly impressive. She's holding a clipboard which is overflowing with papers and her messy hair is kind of like pulled up into a bun and there is a paintbrush and a yellow pencil keeping it in place.
Julia: Incredible. Real Miss Frizzle energy.
Eric: Standing next to her is a visage that you all remember, because if you were out past your curfew, you do not want to see the towering 6-foot 10 shadow lurking in the darkness. This is the assistant director, Melchizedek Nebuchadnezzar, but everyone knows him as Z.
Julia: So you're gonna spell that for us?
Brandon: What a fucking badass names.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Oh, my god.
Eric: They're both biblical names.
Amanda: I was gonna say, are those medieval demons, Eric?
Eric: Those are both biblical names. So it's spelled the way as it was translated from the Bible. Melchizedek is also the name that Marquez gave his character in Join the Team.
Julia: Beautiful.
Eric: And I really- I just love that and Nebuchadnezzar spelled as again, look those up. That's what they spell like. But everyone knows, knows him as Z because of the z's in both his first and last names. Head of Activities. He's Latino with dusky brown skin. He has very, very thick black hair and a thick black mustache. He has a straw cowboy hat on his head and a checkerboard red and white button-down shirt. But everyone knows that the thing you remember the most about Z is his incredibly sharp incisors. Is he a vampire? Is he a werewolf? Is he just a guy who has sharp teeth?
Brandon: This reminds me of those books that's like the vampire drinks lemonade.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Or whatever.
Julia: The Wayside School books, is that it?
Brandon: Yes. Thank you.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: As the assistant director, he is kind of like, in charge of the kids. So he's technically head of activities. So like he knows the schedule, he knows where things are. And he's also in charge of like, discipline as it is at a camp but you know, so he's the one who got to does the rounds after curfew.
Amanda: Real, the vice principal that runs detention energy.
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Oh, 100%. But for camp.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: There are more people standing there but we will get to them in a second. As you're all sitting down-- Oh, Director Löw's first name is Friday, but you are never ever, ever, ever supposed to call her Friday. She's just Director Löw to you.
Julia: How many times has Carrie-Ann called her Friday?
Amanda: Once and I will never do it again.
Julia: Whoa!
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: Real like, you said it and then she whipped around at you and be like-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yes. On Friday I am very excited about the pasta we're having for lunch.
Amanda: Yeah, I think it's when she like told me that I was in fact accepted as a CIT and it was like–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Friday. I'm so happy we're at this stage of our relationship.
Eric: And she's like-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): That's right, Friday is pasta. We'd have pasta every Friday for lunch. You're right.
Eric: She's just like, giving you an opportunity to like, just ignore it. So, there were some other people standing up there but as you are, as you all sit down, Director Löw launches into her introductory speech and says–
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Hello CITs!
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Hello.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): You're not birds anymore. You are CITs, it's incredible. Again, give, give yourself a round of applause for being here. [everyone claps] Alright, Carrie- thank you. Thank you, Carrie-Ann.
Julia: Are we like sitting on benches or are we just like criss-cross applesauce on the ground?
Eric: Oh, criss-cross applesauce on the ground.
Julia: Excellent.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): The first thing I want to say as-- before we even started another summer here at Camp Diogenes, is that you are ready to take what we embody here at camp and it is going to be part of your body, it is your in your bones, in your brain. And you're going to impart that onto campers, that is your job now. I want you to remember who this camp is named after by Diogenes, the philosopher. He modeled himself on the example of Hercules and believed that virtue was better revealed in action than in theory. Diogenes taught by living example and we should also teach by living example. There is an idea at camp called, 'in loco parentis'. Has anyone heard of this before? Does anyone know what that means?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): No.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Yeah.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Phoebe, what does that mean?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): It means that like when someone's parents aren't here, we act as parents for the children?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Exactly. It is a Latin term that means in the place of the parent, it is actually like a legal term, that when we are counselors, or when-- when kids go somewhere without their parents, someone needs to be enthralled, we're responsible for them. But that's the different-- that's the thing that is different about not being parents is that we can give them experiences that they can't have, when they're being watched by the people who literally created them. We're giving them an opportunity to be a little bit different. I don't know if you've heard of this, maybe on Tumblr, they love that. But when-- but once upon a time, Plato said that all men-- that humans were featherless bipeds. So Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken, and said, "Behold, I brought you a man." So the thing is, that we need to remember, is that campers don't know what a human is defined as. They're figuring that out. And we need to give them the opportunities to figure that out and eventually through example, they will realize that you're not-- we're not talking about chickens. We're talking about people. And that's the opportunity that you are-- that we are able to do. Does anyone have any questions before we begin, before we keep going?
Brandon: This is an audio podcast, you'll have to say something about raising your hands.
Eric: That's true.
Julia: Sorry. Phoebe, like, very timidly raises her hand.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yes?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): So do we like, actually have to pluck chickens? Like is that- is that something that like, is going to need to be done? Because I don't-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): No. No, Phoebe.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I don't think an eight-year-old should be plucking chickens.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Phoebe, we're not actually plucking chickens. No, it was a metaphor.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Oh, yeah. I'm also- also I mean, are we going to serve chicken in the– in the– in the mess hall? Because that– that could be potentially confusing for them as, they mix the metaphors in their tiny little, little brains? I have some proposed changes to the Mess Hall and also other operations. Is that-- is this the right time to do that?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): No Carrie-Ann, we'll- we'll talk about this later. And Carrie-Ann, please wait until you're called on.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Sorry.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yes, Jennii?
Eric: A raised her hand waiting to be called on is Jennii, two N's two I's because I'm double the fun and everyone likes multiple I's because I have two, everyone knows that about me. That's what Jennii says when she describes how to spell her name.
Eric (as Jennii): I have two, two N's for double the fun and two I's because I have two eyes.
[Amanda cackles]
Amanda: I love her.
Eric: Jennii wearing various shades of pink. She has a ton of freckles splashed over her tanned skin, as she must have spent a lot of time outside. But she’s a white teen. Her outfit is his various shades of pink. There's like a mauve and there's like a dusky rose and like a pink shirt. And like a bright pink hat with a very high up do, as high of an up do can go through the back of that hat. And she says-
Eric (as Jennii): Carrie-Ann, that's a really great, that's a really great thing that you pose. But I think that what we should really be focusing on is maybe-- is maybe expanding the nature and ecology programs that we have here. I don't want anyone to get confused as well. But if we learn how to raise the chickens, then we'll be able to figure that-- that we'll be able to make that a good-- a good metaphor.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah, I love that. Thanks. Sorry. Yes.
Eric (as Jennii): You know what? Why are you saying sorry to me?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just so excited to be here.
Eric (as Jennii): I'm also excited, too. I want everyone to know I'm also excited. Thank you.
Eric: Jennii, Jennii sits down.
Amanda: Is she another CIT?
Eric: She is, Jennii is another CIT, yes. Director Löw says-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright, now there's no questions.
Eric: And then you hear-
Eric (as Boo Löw): [in a raspy rascal voice] I have a question.
Julia: Oh, my god.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: And holding on to direct your Löw's hand the entire time is her– is her son, Boo Löw. You've seen Boo running around over the last few summers because they are, they’re like a staff kid?
Amanda: Is he kind of grew up to love IPAs. You gotta tell us now, Eric. Or else it’s entrapment.
Eric: I can't- I can't tell you. Boo also have a very round face and a chubby cheeks much like his mother. And he's constantly carrying around a watermelon rind. You've seen him have it no matter what. As he has been running around and he currently has a watermelon rind at all times. Because he will hold it up to you and say-
Eric (as Boo Löw): Have a smile. I don't need this. Do you want it?
Amanda: The same one?
Brandon: Rough. Rough kid
Eric: Might be, they might be the same one.
Amanda: Oh, no. Alright on my list guys are things you have to check out that might be enchanted, 1) Z's teeth, 2) this watermelon rind.
Eric: He's wearing overalls over like a very small Camp Die shirt from a few years ago. The overalls have holes in the knees and one in the chest. You gotta-- you just gotta keep wearing them. If it's yours, you can see like, the shirt through the overalls.
Julia: How old is he about?
Eric: He is eight now.
Julia: Ah, so it's his first real year at camp.
Eric: This is his first real year at camp. Exactly.
Julia: Wow.
Eric (as Boo Löw): I have a question. Where am I sleeping? Can someone show me to my cabin? I go to sleep at six. I use all my energy fast.
[giggles]
Amanda: Eric, why? Why did it take you four years to roleplay child, this is going to be so much fun.
Eric: It's great. And his mom says-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): No, we're going to do this. Babe, Boo, we're going to do this later. Don't worry, you actually, one of your CITs here we'll be able to show you. And also you- you actually already know where your cabin is. Because you were able to put it down when the staff were here, remember?
Eric (as Boo Löw): I know, I just wanted to ask a question for you, Mom.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright. Thank you. I appreciate that, Boo. Alright so, I think this is a great time to introduce the person who's going to be overseeing everything here. Why don't you give-- everyone give a round of applause to Jane.
[applause]
Eric: Standing next to the two directors is Matthew Jane. You might know-- you might have known him. He was staff for the last few summers and he was at camp so you might-- you might know who he is. Matt Jane. I had to look up this quote from Superbad because I was looking for how to embody-- there was a part where like, Michael Cera was talking about all this all the people that Emma Stone's character had dated. And he's like, "He's the sweetest guy. Have you ever stared into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles." And that is how you get the vibe from Jane.
Amanda: J A N E?
Eric: J A N E. Matt Jane is Korean. Did I try to Google John Cho as a teenager? Yes, I did. So just try to envision that as your face cast. He shaved his head when he showed up to camp a week ago. So it's starting to grow. And it's a little prickly. It's the type of thing that like, you know, when you were 13, you were like can rub your hand through someone's hair like, Oh, it feels so good and also, do you want to date? I wish we could date. A Camp Die hoodie over a tank top very short shorts, which is a warm smile for all of you. And Jane says,
Eric (as Head of CITs Matthew Jane): Hey, it's so nice to meet all of you. You might have seen me around as a Kingfisher counselor for the last few years. But now the director-- director Löw and Z and Boo have promoted me to Head of CITs! So I am going to be here as your- I'm going to be here with you. If you have any questions, you have any ideas, you want to bounce something off me, I'm here I really want to make all of you grow this year, this liminal space that we have in between camper and staff. You're finally seeing that even being a staff member doesn't mean that we don't stop figuring out what's best for us at camp. That's why people are here are, here for so long. You know, you had to be a staff member through high school. And then a lot of people come back when they're in college because they find something about Camp Diogenes that they love, and that makes them better. So I'm here to help you find that in yourselves. Oh, really quick thing. I want you to start right now. Before the campers show up, don't call it Camp Die. We're gonna go Camp Diogenes. If we say it, then they say it. They say Camp Die, it's just it's fine if they do it like when we're not around or if they because they're kids. But you know, we really want to make sure to model that. Is that right, Tater Tot?
Eric: And he leans down and he pats his Border Collie on the head.
[audible gasps]
Julia: [whispers] Oh, no!
Eric: Black, gray, and white with like the blue eyes.
Amanda: Eric, I'm dying.
Julia: No! You can't– you can't give us hot teen. You can't give us-
Eric: Hot teen John Cho and a dog. Yeah.
Brandon: This is a dog cast now, baby.
Eric: So when you-- just imagine when you say Camp Die and then Tater Tot goes-
Eric (as Tater Tot): Woof! Wooof!
Eric (as Head of CITs Matthew Jane): Just imagine that Tater Tot is barking you every time you say Camp Die, you just keep that in your head. Is that right? But you know Tater Tot, you wouldn't bark at anyone and unless they need it, they wanted you to right?
Eric: And Tater Tot have immediately flaps on their back and Jane gives them big, big belly rubs. Don't worry, Tater Tot is available, this is an exclusive perk for all CITs, Tater Tot is here for belly rubs at any time.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Oh my god.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Like, excuse me?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): [exasperated] Yes, oh. Carrie-Ann
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Can you– can you give me a more literal definition of that? Because I don't-- I don't. I just-- I would rather know sort of the rules and limits.
Eric: Director Löw puts one hand on her forehead is like oh my god is happening, it's starting.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Like, within reason, if Jane says that they're asleep, or they don't want to be bothered, then Tater Tot is off limits for the time being. I'm sure you can ask Jane if that's the case, right?
Eric: And Jane says-
Eric (as Head of CITs Matthew Jane): I'm around most times, do not try to pet Tater Tot when I'm asleep.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Okay, thank you. Yes, that's very helpful. Okay. Yes.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Great. Okay, so I think that we're gonna get more into camp philosophy, but I know that all of you know each other, but a lot of stuff might have happened to you while you were at school. So we're gonna go around and we're gonna play two truths and a lie as a quick icebreaker for all of you. So does anyone want to go first? Who wants to introduce you start to introduce themselves?
Julia: Dead silence from all us.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): This wasn’t in our orientation packet.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright, you know what, let's um, I'll just pick someone, how about Doug, why don't you go first? And he says-
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Alright, okay, that's fine.
Eric: And you turn around and there's just like, you know, Doug when he was a camper, but like, this dude is seven inches taller than when you last saw him.
Julia: Oh, bud.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Hey, I'm Dougie Juice. That's what I want you to call me this summer if that will be all great. I'm Dougie Juice and that means you. Two Truths and a Lie. One, I grew like six inches over the year. Two, I-I-- one time drank three bottles of Mountain Dew in a row, and by bottles I mean, like the 64-ounce ones. And three, they know me at the supermarket as the kid who buys all of the Oreo cakesters that they have at a time so they put it aside for me. So which one is which one do you think is is a lie?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Did-did you actually like did you grow more than six inches?
Eric (as Dougie Juice): I mean, like is that your guess? Is that-
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): That's my guess.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Okay
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah, I second that.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): It's probably the Mountain Dew one, I think.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Oh, Les, you fucking nerd. You don't think I could drink all that Mountain Dew? Wrong, did it. It was great. It's actually I grew seven inches. So the other people were wrong. There you go.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Cool.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I can tell the extra inch is there. Yeah.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann fist bumps Phoebe.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Great.
Eric: Dougie Juice switches his hat from backwards to forwards and backwards again. And be like-
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Alright, I introduced myself. Great.
Julia: Is he about to catch a Pokemon?
Eric: Yup. Director Löw says-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Hey, Doug. Dougie, Dougie Juice? Don't call the CITs nerds.
Eric (as Dougie Juice):Okay, fine. Sorry, Les. I shouldn't have called you a nerd.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): It's cool. It's totally fine.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Okay, so I can call you a nerd?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I literally don't care.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Les, don't let him call you a nerd.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Great. Okay. Good to know. Thank you. Everyone heard his consent. I'm gonna do that. He actually likes that. That's good.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright. Does anyone else want to, does anyone else want to introduce themselves?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah, I can go. I umm. Hi, Carrie-Ann. Okay. One my- my initials spell CAMP. Two,
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Whoa!
[Eric laughing]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I-- I found on Ebay with my new debit card of vintage Camp Diogenes handbook for staff from 1970. I brought it with me, it's in a waterproof bag. You can– you can read it if you want but I will need collateral.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Wow. That's really specific.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Third-
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Like, what kind of collateral are we talking about for that?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): The thing is precious to you as it is to me.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Oh.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): And third, I have tattoos of-- of all the birds of the cabins. Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): So I think it has to be the tattoo one, right?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Because like, I don't think legally anyone's allowed to give you tattoos as a 13 or 14-year-old?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): It's almost- it's almost certainly the tattoos ones. Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yep. But I will one day. That's just my dream.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): That's, that's super cool, Carrie-Ann.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah. Thanks.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Great. Thank you.
Eric: Director Löw is just like-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Oh my God. Alright. Yeah. Does anyone else want to go? Hey, Conway, you're-- you're kind of quiet. You want to say something?
Eric: Conway is sitting with– with an oversized black hoodie on jeans that might be one size too large from them. From the little that you can see of Conway, and you've always known this about Conway, is that Conway has green skin. It's just like a little green. It's a little tinted green. And Jennii says-
Eric (as Jennii): I will be able to-- I can do this for Conway. Don't worry. Conaway doesn't want to say anything right now. So I'll be able to-- I can help.
Eric: And Conway gives like a thumbs up to Jennii.
Julia: Conway's got real big trans energy, and I appreciate it.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And Jennii says-
Eric (as Jennii): Okay, here's this is-- this is for Conway. One, Conway has green skin because they ate too many asparagus. And it's like when you eat too many carrots, you turn oranges like that but for asparagus. Two, Conway has three sisters. And three, Conway has green skin, because they're part plant and they have chlorophyll inside their body.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): So-
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): At least- at least two of those are, are wrong. So I don't-
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I mean, it's got to be one of the green skin ones, right? Like-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Does asparagus do that?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): No, it does not.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I feel like if it was asparagus, then their pee would smell really bad and I feel like that's the thing that we would know. So-
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Why would you know what their pee smells like?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): It just feels like a thing that would come out.
Eric (as Jennii): Conway, do you want me to say what your pee smells like?
Eric: And Conway shakes their head, no.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I'm just saying.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): That’s fair, honestly.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): That's my guess.
Eric (as Jennii): It was the chlorophyll one.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Oh, so it was the asparagus. Okay.
Eric (as Jennii): It was the asparagus.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Oh, cool.
Eric (as Jennii): Yeah, that's what happened. That's what happened
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I don't think that's right. I just thought-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Con, I'm sorry. Sorry, I brought up how your pee smells. I'm sure it's normal.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): This got weird.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Okay. Great. Les, why don't you go? Can you, why don't you do your truth, your Two Truths and a Lie?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Yeah, I can go. Oh, yeah. Hi. Yeah, my name is Les. I'm excited to be here.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Is that one of the truths or a lie?
[Amanda laughing]
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): No, that's just my- that's just my state of being. One, I've climbed Mount Elbrus. Two,
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Where is that? No one knows where that is.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Dougie. Dougie. Can you let- let- Les continue, please.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Thanks. I've climbed Mount Kinabalu. And three-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Les, if they're all about mountains, it's gonna be a little bit boring.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I've climbed-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Okay.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): -Carstensz. Two Truths, One Lie.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I mean, did you not climb one of the mountains you said you climbed?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): That would be inherent in the game. Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): The middle one?
Eric: If you would like to do a roll, you can. You can like, make a move.
Julia: I'll roll Sharp, I guess.
Eric: What move, what move do you want?
Julia: I want to investigate a mystery.
Eric: Absolutely.
[Amanda laughing]
Amanda: First roll of the game, baby!
Julia: Alright so, it's 2 D6 and then I add my-
Eric: You add your Sharp. Yes.
Julia: So it's a +2 for sharp for me.
[Rolls dice]
Julia: No, no, I got a five.
Eric: Yeah. You gotta 5?
Amanda: Can I help you?
Julia: If you want.
Amanda: Can I like stare into Les' eyes and have him repeat the three names?
Eric: Yeah. Why don't you- you can use Help Out.
Amanda: Okay, so I will Cool to see if it works. [dice roll] Okay, so that's a 5 + 1 for 6. Sorry, Julia. I failed.
Julia: It's okay.
Amanda: I'm going to mark experience.
Julia: I've never heard of any of these in all of the books that I've read. And so Phoebe's just like-
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): The middle one. Yeah.
Eric: Alright. Well, both of you fail. So you both mark experience.
Julia: Whooo!
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: What does that mean, Eric?
Eric: So when you fail, like an all monster- in all Powered by the Apocalypse games, the way that you get experience is by failing, by missing your rolls. So here's the thing I get to do something against both of you because you both failed your roll and you kind of expose yourself to that. And I think-
Julia: We're doing great.
Eric: And I think both of you like get- both you as you said you got up to try to get Les to say it into your eyes about what it is and both of you like have gotten out up better staring at Les and I think this prompts Assistant Director Z to say-
Eric (as Assistant Director Melchizedek “Z” Nebuchadnezzar): CITs should know when it is time to speak and when the-- when you need to give one of your fellow staff members the opportunity to talk.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Sorry, sorry.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I'm sorry.
Eric (as Assistant Director Melchizedek “Z” Nebuchadnezzar): Les, which of these mountains was the tallest?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Umm...
[two beats of silence]
[giggles]
Julia: You have to make Brandon Google.
Amanda: Brandon J. Google, more like.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Well-
Eric (as Assistant Director Melchizedek “Z” Nebuchadnezzar): Can you tell me in descending order from tallest to shortest?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Well, unfortunately, it's- it's irrelevant because Mount Elbrus is in Russia, so I can't go there.
Eric (as Assistant Director Melchizedek “Z” Nebuchadnezzar): I choose that one.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Yeah.
Eric (as Assistant Director Melchizedek “Z” Nebuchadnezzar): See? Only by engaging someone else in conversation, you were able to deduce the answer that is something that both of you can– both of you can learn from, as we are-- as you are going to be staff members.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann pulls out like, a waterproof like, reporter's notebook and writes, 'deduce' and underlines it four times.
Julia: Phoebe just shrinks into her little denim jacket.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): That was weird. Phoebe and Carrie-Ann, I- I thought you guessed well. Thank you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Thanks.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I don't know what-
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Thanks, Les.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): There was nothing wrong with your guesses. It was a hard- it was hard.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Jane is watching so thanks for helping me save face.
Eric: You look up, Jane is not watching. Jane is petting Tater Tot, scratching Tater Tot on the chin.
Eric (as Assistant Director Melchizedek “Z” Nebuchadnezzar): I'll keep an eye on the two of you.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Okay, let's- Jennii you've already said you-- I guess you've already gone just- Phoebe, would you like an opportunity to go? How about you? Let's break- what's happened to you over the last year?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Just to clarify, I have the option of not going?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): No, you should- no, you should go.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Oh.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): You're getting a- let's break the ice. Come on. What are, do the two what-- two truths and a lie about the things that's happened to you over the last year?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I just want to say no one got my break the ice climbing mountains reference.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Oh. Oh, Les. That's great.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): That was really good. That was really good.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Thanks.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Really cool.
Eric (as Jennii): Really, hey, Jennii here with two N's and two I's. Conway and I both thought it was neat.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Thanks, Jennii. I appreciate it.
Julia: It's gonna be really funny that Jennii is like the mystical monster character and Conway.
Amanda: I know, Conway just ate a lot of asparagus. What do you want from them?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Okay, so this past year, I read the most books in my grade at the local library, and I got this cool shirt.
[Eric laughing]
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Is it- is it the one you're- is the one you're wearing?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Yeah. Yeah, with an owl
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I like it.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Thank you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): That's really smart, that sounds right.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I tried out for the cheerleading squad. Yay. [giggles] And I, I got a B in math.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Hey, I got a- I got a B in math too.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): That, that's awesome.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): So I don't know if that's the truth of the lie but like, B, B twins, you know.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): B twins. Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): And like, if you did try out for cheerleading. That's like really brave. So, good job.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke):Yeah, I'm gonna say it was the-- I'm gonna say it's the B because I- I think you're way-- you're too smart for B's I don't think you'd ever get a B.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Thanks. Thanks.
Julia: Phoebe just like, she can't look at anything, staring at the ground.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Thank you.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): It's definitely.
Eric: Hey, Dougie.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): It's definitely the one with reading. Because that shirt is not-- that shirt feels like a fake and you planned on to this whole thing. Sort of trick us during this icebreaker.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke):Hey, not everything is a conspiracy, I just want to clarify. Some things are just true.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: The writers of this TV show are winking. They're high-fiving each other in the writers room.
Amanda: In the writer's room. Carrie-Ann's fists are balled so tightly as she stares at Doug with daggers in her eyes.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Okay, it's not that one fine, whatever. Fine. Fine.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Did everyone guess?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Which- which one is it, Phoebe?
Eric (as Boo Löw): I think it's B because Bs get degrees.
Brandon: You're eight.
Julia: You’re eight years old.
Amanda: Where’d you hear that from?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): I don't I need to stop leaving. I gotta I- I don't know. I don't know. Eric (as Boo Löw): Also C's because that also rhymes the Ds also, so any of those get degrees.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): So it was– it was the B in math. I got an A-.
[cheers]
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Not too bad.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Smart. So smart.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Could have been worse.
Eric (as Boo Löw): A- also gets degrees.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright. Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): That's true, Boo.
Eric (as Boo Löw): I know. Phoebe, do you want this smile? You can have it.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I'm so good. Thank you.
Eric (as Boo Löw): Okay.
Eric: Boo's chewing on it.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw):Okay, now that we broken some ice, we are going to give you some time to settle in. We're going to meet all back together and kind of talk more about camp counselor philosophy. You're also gonna get a chance to meet Springer at some point, who is the head of food. There's another perk that you get CITs, if you ask 48 hours or more in advance, you can requisition some sort of late-night snack, which is pretty cool. But you gotta make sure to like agree as CITs together. Like the CITs I'll get one snack so if you ask far enough in advance, that's fine when you meet Springer?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): What? What is the-- sorry?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yeah?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): What is it? I'm-- what is the food policy? I'm always kind of hungry.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw):Yes, they-- the Mess Hall is open at all times for CITs and older, do not bother Springer when they are preparing the next meal. But there's usually like bread and apples and like nut butter for you to have whenever you're hungry. And if you talk to Springer, they're working on-- on our lunch right now. So you'll get a chance to talk to them later. Also, all of you are going to be start thinking about what your specialties are going to be. If you want to be a one on a counselor track, or on the specialty tracks like swimming, or I know Les specifically is doing the Tripping track.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Yeah.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw):Those are the people that are just doing the tripping track. The folks who take us out on our camping trips that all of the-
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Yeah.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw):-campers go out on.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): It'd be fun, you should all. You should all come.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Badass, dude.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Yeah, it's not there's no– there's no drugs or anything, of course.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Oh, okay.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): No, no, I mean, like tripping, you know?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Oh.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Oh.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Like, it's a weird name. But it's not that. We run a clean tight ship.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Frankie did say that you were going to make that joke and Frankie wanted you to know that they say Ha-ha, nice. She said that she was going to be neck deep in some mud and couldn't make this. I guess they were not-- they meant that literally. So you'll-- your-- Les you know, you know where to find them. So that's fine. But everyone start thinking about your specialties. And you know, before we break, I need to show you something. And Director Löw welcomes all of you to stand and then they start walking to the other side of camp. This is just Director Löw and Boo by themselves, Jane and Assistant Director Z kind of peel off to do the other things they have to do. Maybe howl of the moon, is that Tater Tot, is that Z? Who can say?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Guys, do you-- Do you think this is where we finally get to see like the secret like inner sanctum of camp that only only like CITs and staff get to see?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Is- is there a secret sanctum of camp?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I don't think- I don't I'm not sure there is one I don't mean to burst any bubbles. But-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): I mean, there's– there's got to be, right. Like there's got to be some kind of secret.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I mean, it is a camp.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): They always told us the secret was fun.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Phoebe, it's a camp.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): So, I don't know.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): It's everything.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Okay.
Eric: So, you guys kind of wind your way all the way through the big center field, you take a path that goes past the watering hole, the quarry where everyone does their swimming in which then there's like a little river, a little stream or spring that leads down into there. And you can see that the swim staff is setting up the new and improved waterslide that they got from Action Park-- they got from Action Park. It has a loop de loop in it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Sick.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Phoebe, we should– we should go do that. Carrie-Ann, let's, let's do that next.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): That sounds pretty cool.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): That's awesome.
Eric: Everyone is like gawking over it as you as you walk by and Boo says-
Eric (as Boo Löw): Come on, it's only a little bit further.
Eric: And you walk-
Julia: I fucking love this kid.
Eric: You keep walking and you kind of go past this like, outdoor auditorium. What would you call that like a band like-
Amanda: Amphitheater or something?
Eric: What is- what is the- amphitheater is what I'm looking for.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Because it's Greek, get it? There is an outdoor amphitheater, with a stage which when it's nice out, sometimes they do the plays in there. If it's raining, we do the plays in the big gym, which is kind of on the other side of camp. But as you walk up the amphitheater, like past the stage has all of the different benches it leads out into the woods. And that is when Director Löw kind of turns back around and starts like walking backwards and talking to all of you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): [whispers] I got to work on walking backwards speechifying, it's a crucial skill.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I hear it's like it actually like exercises different muscles in your leg than walking forward.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): That's wild.
Eric: I do love all you as kids, this is so fun, this is great. It's so much easier to be positive as children, it's so fun. So you’re walking, you kind of step through the tree line and you're very quickly in the woods as Director Löw starts talking to all of these CITs.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): So a big thing that you need to keep your eyes out for, and it's kind of the responsibility of staff is to figure out the boundaries of camp. You might have known that when you're inside of camp, you're not supposed to leave camp. Obviously that's for the safety of the campers. We also think about this for the staff as well. We only leave for very specific reasons. Unless you're going out on a camping trip or you are going out to the Locks which I know all of you were and only the last few classes of campers have been able to do. It's a new thing that we have been-- that we put around. But there is a boundary outside of camp under the road that you come down the dirt road of Fish Hatchery Road that kind of goes there that's the boundary and then at the front is the covered bridge. We have the wall- we have the– the quarry over on one side and but there is– there is the wall. And I'm sure all of you know about the wall, the wall that circles-- that goes around camp. And we and we told campers all the time that you can't go past the wall, even if you're running around in the woods, right?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Don't go past the wall even if you're running in the woods.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Exactly. That's, that's what I said.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): We really got to come up with a rhyming one.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): We can do better than that, I think.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Well, we want to keep it innocuous because there is a reason why we have the wall in the first– in the first place. It goes- it keeps, it helps us in but it also keeps things out.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): See? Secrets.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Is this- Director?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yeah?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Is this a secret?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): It is a-
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Are you letting us into a secret now?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yes, this is something that only staff know and now that you are slowly becoming staff, this is something that you need to-- that all of you need to know.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Carrie-Ann, I'm so sorry.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Yeah, good call. I apologize.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yes!
Eric: And as you walk up to the wall, the wall as we talked about in the world-building episode is a stone wall, there's some mortar in some places. Other times it's just stacked. The wall also is not straight. It kind of snakes and warbles and takes curves in strange different places, kind of the around the majority of the boundary of camp like 60% of camp, especially in the woods area is surrounded by the wall.
Brandon: How tall is the wall?
Eric: The wall kind of comes up to-
Brandon: Sort of like a British rock wall kind of vibe?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, it comes up to everybody's kind of like midsection.
Amanda: Like waist high on a kid.
Eric: Yeah. waist high-
Amanda: Thigh high on adult?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, I would say you maybe even a little bit taller is that it's like, it's kind of at everybody's midsection, generally.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: And as you get closer, Director Löw says-
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Well, the reason we have the wall is because of this.
Eric: And you're now up a few feet away from the wall. And you see right on the other side is what I can only describe is a skeleton wearing sunglasses.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): What the f-?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): What?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Hey. What?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): What is that?
Eric: There is a six-foot-ish skeleton, wearing sunglasses kind of post it up into like a beach chair or a camping chair is hanging out on the other side of the wall. The skeleton is also wearing an old 70s Camp Diogenes crew neck sweatshirt, real loopy fonts and the color is faded.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann's fingers twitch.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Carrie-Ann, you can't take it off a skeleton, you're technically grave robbing.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah, you're right.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Some kind of cosmic law.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): You're right, you're right, you're right.
Eric: There are also rips in the old sweatshirt, and you can see the ribcage inside you also look down and kind of like jauntily crossed are the skeleton's legs and the legs and in pretty large hooves.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Oh my god.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Hey, what?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Is this like- um, like a sort of scare tactic? Because I heard about in high school with the programs where they show you like about drugs. Is that Is that what's happening here about leaving camp, because I already didn't want to leave camp like, can I never leave camp? I know we've talked about it before, but like can I just never, never leave?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Have either of you heard of the devil's footprints? Have you heard of this? I think that might be the answer.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I mean, I've heard of the devil?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Okay, so everyone, this is Steven.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Steven?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Steven.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Huh. So, that was his name.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Hold on, hold on. Let me before- hold all of your questions.
Eric: And you also look around and you see that around the skeleton around Steven. what looks to be like green uninflated beach balls. You know, have you ever seen like a beach ball that is not inflated. It was just kind of like bleh.
Julia: Blob.
Eric: Just kind of like sitting on the ground like, it's like a blob. But it's like, yeah, this is like it's green and with like dark green and light green stripes around it. And you see the– the skeleton reaches down next to it and pulls something off of a vine that is snaking around the beach chair that he is sitting on. It is large, it is bigger than any of your heads and you see it's a watermelon. And Steven takes it and puts it up against like, the skull face. And then it just starts to dehydrate. It just starts to crush in, smoosh down, and all of a sudden it looks like an uninflated beach ball that the skeleton throws on the ground.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Director, this– this can't be this is fake right? This is a prank to make kids fall in line? This can't be real.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Boo, were you eating that that can be good for your growth. It's like coffee, it will make you short.
Eric (as Boo Löw): No, watermelons are delicious, everyone knows that.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Carrie-Ann, does coffee make you short?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Oh shit.
Eric (as Steven): Hey, a new group of CITs. It is so nice to see all of you have moved on to this new phase of life. So nice to meet you. I'm Steven.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Steven, don't talk to the CITs
Julia: Phoebe raises her hand.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yes, Phoebe?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Steven?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Phoebe, don't talk to Steven.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I just wanted to know how he can talk without a tongue.
Eric (as Steven): Well, here's the reason why, is that years and years ago, the gods blessed me with this power. And I just want to give it to you! If you want to learn how to talk without a tongue, just come on over here. I’m able to do this right now.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Sorry. Wait, I have more questions-- were gods…?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Phoebe it’s a test! Phoebe it’s a test!
Eric (as Steven): Hey, Phoebe, come on over here. I'm gonna be able to show it to you.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Phoebe, you don't want to do that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Phoebe, don't do it.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Don't do it.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I-
Eric (as Steven): Phoebe, just hop on over. It's great. I'll show you all types of things.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Don't do that, Phoebe.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): See, Phoebe, this is why we don't talk to Steven. Okay, so here. Here's a– what's happening?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): I have a lot of questions.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Camp Diogenes is actually the first recorded summer camp ever. It was the first organized area. It was the first organized homestead devoted strictly to teens and kids being on their own during the summer and having some sort of education as it's happening. I know that we, we've bragged about that on the-- in the brochure, we've told that to your parents, but that's actually true. That's 100% true. And ever since the camp started so many years ago, this guy's been lingering around.
Eric: And Steven grabs another watermelon and pulls it off of a vine and then starts sucking the juice out of it.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): He's- he doesn't always spend all of his time here. He kind of roams around. Uh, lots of folks know him. You might have heard of him as Beelzebub or Coyote or just a satyr. He also got a starring role and those you know lions and wardrobe books so you might know him from those.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Oh, my god, is this Mr. Tumnus?
Eric (as Steven): Oh, there is a big guy with a– with a big beard telling me about that some fellow named Jesus who would just uh, we talked for a while and I guess that's what I ended up with. I never read the book, I don't have time to read it.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Also, one of you could also here he's one of the– the– they've known him as one of the horses of the apocalypse. Any of the- but we-
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): Sorry, hold on.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Oh my god.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Just hold the- Phoebe, all of your questions are going to be answered so soon.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): But the skeleton just said he didn't have time to read. I feel bad for him now.
Eric (as Steven): Phoebe, why don't you come over here and you teach me how to read? I don't know.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Don't do that.
Eric (as Steven): I was lying, I don't know how to read.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Don't do that.
Eric Eric (as Director Friday Löw): And I just need the help of someone to do that.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): But he doesn't know how to read.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Phoebe, picture the watermelon as heads, the watermelons remind me of heads. That's what he'll do to your head.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Phoebe, I'm telling you, stop talking to Steven. So, recently, you might have remembered as campers, you've heard of talking to-- maybe you've heard us talking about Steven and maybe you haven't. It's actually a name we've given to what's going on here. Because it's easier to say we have to go talk to Steven or do something with Steven than say whatever this.. He, I guess, is.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): [whispers] See, that's the secret.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Alright, Steven, why don't you tell the CITS what they, what you want?
Eric (as Steven): Hey, Friday, thank you all I want is it to be summer all the time. Wouldn't that be awesome? Would it be great? No school. It's warm. It's bright and the sun's out? No problems. Come on. Summer all the time.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Okay.
Eric (as Steven): Right?
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): That's kinda dope.
Eric (as Steven): Dope. We got another one. Les, I know you love that.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): I wasn't talking to you, Steven. I was talking to Carrie-Ann.
Eric (as Steven): See, Les loves that. Carrie-Ann, I know you love that. Jennii, Dougie Juice, Conway. All of you, you know, just- just- just let me in or come on over here. And we're gonna be able to figure it out, summer forever.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): You all see what the problem is here, right? This is what Steven wants. So we have precautions. It's not just up to you. The wall for example, we have other defenses, but it is your responsibility to keep an eye out. There are weird things that happen in these woods because of Steven, around Steven. Steven did it sometimes. You got to keep an eye out as part of your CIT training. It's important that I call- [sighs] yes, Carrie-Ann?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Could, do you want us to just kill him? would that be would that be good?
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): He's already a skeleton, Carrie-Ann, how can we kill him?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Take him apart, bury, burn the bones. Like, there’s stuff.
Julia (as Phoebe Cooper): That's true.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Yeah.
Eric (as Steven): Yeah, Carrie-Ann, Just hop on over here and let's do it. Let's go. Just five rounds. Come on.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Carrie-Ann, don't do that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Okay.
Eric (as Steven): Come on.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann Marigold Price): Okay. I was asking a question.
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): It's important that I brought you here so you see what's happening. And also, the other thing that Steven wants. The thing that the first campers and counselors figured out, that playing some sort of unearthly noise can keep Steven at bay. it had various instruments that we needed to use this, depending on the time and the place and what was appropriate. But now we have something like this. And the director reaches onto her keychain [instrumental music] and pulls one of the various lanyards and attached to that lanyard is a whistle, is a little gym whistle, but it's not silver, it is black and shiny.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Like obsidian, is that obsidian?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): It was actually carved out of a metal from a meteorite but very close, very good eye, Les.
Brandon (as Les Proenneke): Shit. I've heard that stuff will-- it-- it has some properties?
Eric (as Director Friday Löw): Yes, I'll show you.
Eric: And as the director puts the whistle to her lips. You see Steven stands up straight from his beach chair and he doesn't move or anything. The sunglasses are still a thing, jauntily affixed to his face. But you see on the other side of the wall, everything starts to die. All of the plants and the grass and the vines with the watermelons on them, start to shrivel into brown. You see that there are little bugs scurrying away and maybe like a-- maybe a chipmunk that is running away from the oncoming death that is rolling out. Behind him when it's just soil, it turns into like sandy gray. And then it reaches the wall and it stops. Director Löw puts it back in her pocket. And Steven sits down and Steven says-
Eric (as Steven): Well, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your CIT week. One of you is going to forsake the rest of the group and I'm really excited for the rest of you to figure that out.
[panicked noises]
[theme]
Transcriptionist: KM