Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #64, Addendum Q-4: If you are lost in the woods and are not sure if your companions are the same people that you began your journey with, disregard all previous rules and run.
Sponsors
- Support “Starseekers’ Guide to Draken Star” by our friends at Dungeoncast by backing their Kickstarter at jointhepartypod.com/dungeoncast
- Inked Gaming, our go-to shop for gaming supplies of all kinds. Get 10% off your order at inkedgaming.com/jointheparty
- BetterHelp, a secure online therapy service. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty
Find Us Online
- website: jointhepartypod.com
- patreon: patreon.com/jointhepartypod
- twitch: twitch.tv/jtpsidequests
- youtube: youtube.com/c/jointhepartypodcast
- twitter: twitter.com/jointhepartypod
- instagram: instagram.com/jointhepartypod
- tumblr: jointhepartypod.tumblr.com
- merch & music: jointhepartypod.com/merch
Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: It's time to pick up some loose ends and finish some mysteries we haven't quite solved. Phoebe is resolute in kicking Frederick's weird frog butt but misses her chance when she charges into his domain where he has ultimate control and freely kind of beeps and boops through walls. But that does lead the best friends to a different unresolved mystery. As the camp's main water source, the brook that comes from the woods has turned blood red and is flowing backwards. The CIT plus stowaway Boo charge into the unknown to figure out what's going on and maybe figure out who created the Arcano-mechanical waterhole monster in the first place. Remember all the way back in the first mystery? That was cool. Les runs into an adult living in the woods, Mavis Beacon, who teaches typing. But as she like, all the way there? Carrie-Ann sticks close to Boo, who is still arguing about Dan Brown novels. And as Phoebe gets hopelessly lost in the woods, she hears the voice of Charles, the forest spirit out loud and sprints into the overgrowth to find him. I don't have anything interesting to say. Let's just get the party started.
[theme]
Eric: Phoebe, you start sprinting into the overgrowth, and after you make it like 10 feet in, you say–
Eric (as Charles): Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. How do you know that this isn't Steven trying to do a trick on you?
Julia (as Phoebe): I just know in my heart, I guess? You know like–
Eric (as Charles): Okay fine. Yeah, it's me, you were right.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Eric: You keep sprinting forward, and the glow, the blue glow of your magic is getting brighter and brighter and is illuminating your path through the unmarked woods. You gotta make it over a hill and you look down and the first thing you see are mushrooms. [Phoebe gasps] There's these little, these fungi all the different types of fungi. Julia, tell me some cool fungi that lives in the woods.
Julia: Chicken of the woods. Old Man of the woods. Deceptive milkies.
Eric: Hell yes. Me too, as well.
Julia: Jack o’ Lanterns.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Julia: Destroying angels, hedgehogs.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Black trumpets. Lion's mane.
Brandon: Julia, I think the hedgehogs are just hedgehogs.
Julia: Yeah, maybe.
Eric: All of these weird and wild mushrooms that look like things and look like things you don't recognize. You're like face-to-face with them. And as you look down there, they're kind of like, tiered, like on the top of a sandcastle. You know, when you have the wet sand in your hand and you make like the little spires on the sandcastle, and you look down because you're looking at a massive pair of mushroom and fungi’ed funged, fungi antlers, and you're looking down on the oldest absolute goddamn oldest moose you've ever seen in your entire life. It is standing in a little bit of a ravine and it is 25 feet tall, big milky white eyes, and-- or I'm gonna say this to Julia and not Phoebe because I think Phoebe is overwhelmed by it. Maybe the skin in the first sloughed off in some places and you've seen a little bit of bone? But Phoebe is too busy being taken in by this incredibly massive moose that then like shakes his antlers and one really weird mushroom falls on the ground and it pointed it looks up at you with milky white giant like the size of a very very very large apple each eye. Brandon, I'm so sorry but I did it to hurt you, and says–
Eric (as Charles): Phoebe, I really need you to start relying on yourself.
Julia (as Phoebe): Your beautiful
Julia: Phoebe starts crying.
Eric (as Charles): I don't– I don't have a lot of experience with this. So I hope–
Julia (as Phoebe): So majestic.
Eric (as Charles): Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate I appreciate that. You look…[silence] Uhh… you look your bones are the proper proportions for your species.
Julia (as Phoebe): Thank you. Yeah, I grew ‘em myself.
Eric (as Charles): Hell, yeah. Nice. Cool. So I wasn't anticipating running to you but hello–
Julia (as Phoebe): Is this awkward? Did you not want to meet yet? Like is this? Is this not the part in my hero's journey where I meet you?
Eric (as Charles): Oh, you know, whenever the journey had does and when we go the winds as they blow--
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): Yes.
Julia (as Phoebe): Co–cool?
Eric (as Charles): So what are you? Are you? What are what are humans? Are you okay? How was your fee– the part of your brain that has developed so you have self doubt and feelings?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Eric (as Charles): How was that?
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, that's like a big part of my brain.
Eric (as Charles): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Very developed.
Eric (as Charles): Oh, yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Maybe too much.
Eric (as Charles): Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): Are you? Is it okay? Are you doing okay?
Julia (as Phoebe): I mean not like super great-- better that you're here now, you know? Like sometimes you just need like, you know you can do things for yourself but you just need the like reassurance of others around you.
Eric (as Charles): What? No, I'm a 25-foot moose. So I don't encounter encounter that a lot.
Eric: As the moo– as Charles knocks over a whole tree and starts eating the leaves off of it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Is it Is that like a lesson that you're trying to teach me? That if I stop relying on how other people see me and how they make me feel that I can become more one with nature?
Eric (as Charles): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah!
Eric (as Charles): Yes.
Julia (as Phoebe): You sound super certain. So that makes me super certain.
Eric (as Charles): Yes, I am super certain as I'm the SPIRIT OF THE WOODS!
Eric: As the blue the blue energy just surges.
Julia: Just radiates off of him? Awesome.
Eric: Yeah, surges.
Eric (as Charles): Of course, so, yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. Do you have a task for me or something so that I can, you know, keep the balance of the woods aligned, and then find my way out of here?
Eric (as Charles): Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): Um, so. I mean, I was just to check because like, my eyesight, and nose sight and mouth sight is not great. Is the water of the of the stream? Does that look red to you as well?
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, yeah. And it sucked when I was in it earlier.
Eric (as Charles): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): A small child pushed me in there and then I was like, I should show dominance over the small child, but he is a small child.
Eric (as Charles): Oh, you fell in?
Julia (as Phoebe): I was pushed.
Eric (as Charles): Okay
Julia (as Phoebe): Is that not good?
Eric (as Charles): We'll see. We'll see.
Julia (as Phoebe): Well--
Eric (as Charles): Yeah, so just watch out. I guess just watch out if you see any fairies in here, just watch out. You know, who super hates the humans or the fairies who live in the woods. Specifically, they're like, kind of, I guess, manager. I don't want to say king or a leader or elected president. Maybe their president. Greenbrook? Do watch out for him. He really hates the campers at Camp Diogenes. You should really watch it. You should really watch out for him.
Julia (as Phoebe): Do you? Is he associated with the water turning a weird color?
Eric (as Charles): I would say probably. I'll give you a hard probably.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. Do you know what he would be adding to the water to make it all funky?
Eric (as Charles): Oh, yeah. Like fairy excrement–
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh! Gross!
Eric (as Charles): –and squirrel parts and stuff. Yeah, they're real. They're real. Good badnik. No-goodniks.
Julia (as Phoebe): Why would they do that? Just to like mess with us?
Eric (as Charles): Oh, yeah. Cuz like the fairies hate the campers.
Julia (as Phoebe): Right.
Eric (as Charles): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): Because you pull their wings off. And you like, and you pretend that they're– they’re balls and use them for your sport.
Julia (as Phoebe): Excuse me? I don’t do that–
Eric (as Charles): And then and then you ask them for three wishes, and they don't have that.
Julia (as Phoebe): I've never asked anything for any wishes.
Eric (as Charles): Well I’m not-- You know, I know you personally. I know everything. You don't do that. But human children do.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): Yeah.
Brandon: You know everything Phoebe does?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah. Yeah. We have that emotional connection. So you know everything I do, that makes sense.
Eric: I'm imagining Brandon and being in the Statler and Waldorf seat, just looking at this scene. Brandon's a muppet also.
Julia: That's true. Brandon is a muppet.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I wish guys, I wish.
Eric (as Charles): Okay, well, it seems like you need to go off into the woods.
Julia (as Phoebe): No. Okay, so yes.
Eric (as Charles): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): So my, my quest that you were giving me is to make sure that this fairy guy, Greenbrook, is less of an asshole-- or are you telling me I need to like negotiate a peace between the campers and the fairies?
Eric (as Charles): Whatever you think is best, Phoebe. However you want to deal with the situation. He’s just kind of messing up the water and we don't like it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, so let's just solve the problem with the water. That's the quest.
Eric (as Charles): Yeah. Well, I shouldn't you know, I shouldn't say President because it's not really a voting system. It's more of like, whoever does a contest and wins. That's how they're elected.
Julia (as Phoebe): What's the contest usually?
Eric (as Charles): Depends what they want to do, what they're good at.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): So–
Eric (as Charles): So like, if you if you want to do like a, like a flying contest who can get to the highest point of a tree fastest you could do that.
Julia (as Phoebe): I could be the king of the fairies.
Eric (as Charles): If that's something you wa– I mean, you are just a you know, you are like the representative of the spirit of the woods. And that's the most important thing that you have going on.
Julia (as Phoebe): Right. But I could also be king of the fairies.
Eric (as Charles): I mean, if you want to carry two things at the same time, and you think that you're able to split your time enough, I don't know how if those-- if you want to have two full time jobs on top of being a CIT, it’s up to you?
Julia (as Phoebe): Well, you know, like, if I've learned anything from Carrie-Ann is that you can always delegate power. So you could like be the person who's in charge and then you say, hey, when I'm not around, here now you have to do that, make the hard decisions.
Eric (as Charles): Oh, I'm getting a premonition as the spirit of the woods. You shouldn't take on too much. Because you've got a full time job, being the representative of the spirit of the woods.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. I just think like as a Chosen One, I might be able to shoulder both responsibilities but if your judgment tells–
Eric: I disagree being your mentor as the Chosen One!
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, okay.
Eric (as Charles): Okay, you run off now. Run along now.
Julia (as Phoebe): Can one of my friends be the President of the fairies?
Eric (as Charles): Sure. Now I have to go eat my entire body weight in leaves and sometimes meat. I don't remember what moose eat. This is Eric speaking. Okay. Have fun!
Brandon: Wow. It’s wild this moose can channel our Keeper too that's so cool.
Amanda: So cool.
Julia (as Phoebe): Chuck? I just want to say before I go–
Eric (as Charles): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): It was really nice meeting you in person.
Eric (as Charles): It was really nice meeting you too, as well. I’m proud of you.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm feeling very confident now.
Eric (as Charles): Good. Go run off, Chosen One!
Julia: Phoebe just turns in a random direction and starts running.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Alright, friends, well, why don't you roll another navigation of the woods.
Amanda: Hey, Eric.
Eric: Yeah?
Amanda: This is great.
Brandon: That's two two, right?
Eric: This is two.
Julia: Alright. I got a 7 this time. So SUCK IT woods.
Amanda: I got a 6.
Brandon: You boy got two ones. So 4 total.
Amanda: Oh, no!
Julia: Wooo!
Amanda: The devil’s butthole.
Brandon: Do I mark experience during this thing?
Eric: Yeah, you mark experience for sure.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Alright. So we got to 7 and two failures?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Ho bo– Ho boy.
Julia: Ho boy.
Brandon: Ho boy. The forest lights on fire and we are trapped inside.
Eric: Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty bad. Let's start with Pheebs here. Phoebe, you're able to you're able to find the trail again after running sprinting in a random direction.
Julia(as Phoebe): I followed my instincts. The nature will tell me where to go.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Can I use a luck point?
Eric: Yeah, dude.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna use luck point change to 12.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Damn son.
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, I think I want to do that too. Can I do that too?
Eric: You want to do that?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Sure. Do it.
Amanda: I got Boo with me. I can't. I can't not.
Brandon: I want to win these woods.
Julia: Brandon, what happens when you use your luck points? Because I don't think you've used one yet.
Eric: Yes. I want to know your luck move, both your luck moves.
Brandon: Yeah. So when I spend a luck point, my first encounter comes up in play. [Julia gasps] It could be a flashback, a new occurrence or related event.
Julia: Yes!
Eric: Hell yeah! It was Bigfoot, right? Hell yeah. I think you're you rely– you're relying on your tracking skills, definitely here. And I think that you are trying to follow the path, you say that there is a the brook is in front of you where the stream is in front of you, and you're trying to follow the path. And then you get turned around because it keeps going. The flow of the water keeps turning in different directions, especially like as it goes around bends and things and used to you get turned around, and you trip as you're following the water. And you look down and the reason you've tripped is that you've stepped in a in a footprint.
Brandon (as Les): Oh.
Eric: And you look down and it's a it's a big, honkin bigfoot footprint. And it is leading in the exact opposite direction you're currently walking in.
Brandon: So I see more than just one?
Eric: Like, you see, like three, three in a row.
Brandon: Okay, I'm gonna quickly just take out some plaster of Paris and do a quick–
Amanda: I was. Brandon, I was gonna joke let's start mixing plaster. I'm so glad you're just doing it.
Brandon: Of course. Yeah, it takes a little bit of time to dry. So I'm gonna like get some sticks to like, fence it off a little bit.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And after I do it, I'm gonna just start walking the direction that these footprints are leading
Eric: Brandon, also because you rolled a 12 I want to give you something valuable or helpful. But I think because you rolled a luck point, I tell you you would now have I love this. You have a full real bigfoot print.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: I think that like this is probably the best realest, bigfoot print that's ever existed ever.
Amanda and Julia: Wow.
Brandon: Fuck yeah. In his mind. He's already racing them all the like, quote unquote, journals that he's going to submit
Amanda: Oh, yeah. What's my title gonna be?
Eric: Hey, can I tell you something that you maybe Les, you didn't know before? Bigfoot has that thing where the middle toe and the big toe are like the same length?
Julia: Whoa!
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: You know?
Brandon: Yeah, that's a new discovery.
Eric: Yeah. And he has like a really, really scrawny pinky toe.
Brandon Yeah, I mean, you know. It's really about how you use this this pinky toe.
Julia: Shut up.
Amanda: It’s just a little peanut.
Eric: It's because he wore heels for so long and it really kind of like scrunches your feet. Brandon make a joke– made a joke about a penis.
Brandon No, I didn’t. I was just talking about balance
Eric: Alright Carrie-Ann, what is, remind me what is your move? You're luck move?
Amanda: Well Eric, it says something goes really wrong for my sect, an ill advised project or a disastrous operation. Whatever it is it’s better than getting Boo hurt.
Eric: I'm gonna see if I'm gonna put that keep that in my pocket. I'm going to take away your valuable or helpful thing because you already you luck rolled to 12. So I'm going to take that away.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: How do you control Boo for this time as you're walking through the woods?
Amanda: I am going to use the bungee cord that I keep in my cargo shorts at all times. To bungee like those kids backpacks that have a leash. I'm just gonna bungee Boo and to my belt.
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: I love that. So he runs away and then bounces back.
Amanda: Boing
Eric (as Boo): No! I hate it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Boo. You had the chance to walk on your own and you lost it. So come over here. Don't lick the bucket. But we're gonna go and look at this weird bucket of fairy stuff.
Eric (as Boo): No, I want the bucket, I want to keep my watermelon rind in it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh look. Do you think you can throw acorns at that branch until it falls down?
Eric (as Boo): Probably. He! He! He!
Julia: This is how we can tell you're an older sister, Amanda. I haven't– that would never occur to me.
Brandon: Yeah, me either.
Amanda: There you go Julia.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: So yeah, as as Boo is on a 24 inch bungee cord throwing acorns at a tree. I'm going to try to like peer into the bucket and do a little investigate.
Eric: Yeah, the bucket is all nasty. It's nasty. There was something gross in there.
Amanda: Gross.
Eric: Yeah, like blood but also something else. Les as you after you get your plaster cast of The Bigfoot tracks and you follow them you hear–
Eric (as Boo): Eh! Eh! I'm gonna knock it down! Eh! Eh! Eh!
Brandon (as Les): Oh no. I– Oh, no.
Brandon: Is it? Is it within eyesight? Do I see them?
Eric: You hear it, and you can go after it if you'd like.
Brandon (as Les): Oh no, but I want to I want to chase after Bigfoot. Oh, no!
Amanda: Chase your bliss, bud.
Eric: I will say that there's only three steps. There are only three.
Brandon: I know. I know. I know. I know.
Eric: So it's up to you. You can continue and run for Bigfoot.
Brandon: No, it's very distressing for Les but he needs to go the number one thing you know in the woods is that you need to stay together no matter what. Even if you see a Bigfoot, you know?
Amanda: Damn
Brandon: Especially if you see a Bigfoot actually.
Eric: That’s a good point.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: So yeah, I'm gonna head towards my best friends. Well, one best friend and one little child.
Eric (as Boo): Eh! Eh! Eh! I knocked it down.
Eric: Spo–spoing!
Eric (as Boo): Les! Les! You’re here.
Eric: Sproing! And Boo eats it, falls on the ground.
Brandon (as Les): Boo, you are in so much trouble. Do you know this?
Eric (as Boo): Not as much trouble as people who haven't read Angels and Demons.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What if we do a little book club and every time you want to run into danger instead you come read Angels and Demons to me?
Eric (as Boo): Okay but fine you have to come to my cabin twice a week and we talk about the intricacy and the religious themes of–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric (as Boo): –of Angels and Demons.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You know there's nothing I would like better than to be in Friday's I mean your cabin.
Eric (as Boo): First of all, I don't live with my mom. Everyone knows that. Second of all, my mom is still sad and I feel like that was your responsibility. And three, if you could get me one of those multi multi whips that Silas has I would like that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What if in crafting class we practice making like a like a double keychain. You know how you can like use beads to make like a lizard out of beads?
Eric: Boo turns to Les.
Eric (as Boo): Les, can you give me one of those whips that has multiple whips on it?
Brandon (as Les): No, but I can get you grounded for the remainder of camp.
Eric (as Boo): I hate you. You guys just suck.
Julia: Phoebe was there she'd be like–
Julia (as Phoebe): It’s a cat-o-nines tail.
Brandon (as Les): Hi Carrie-Ann, I'm glad I found you. I have so much so much to tell you Look at this fucking print I just made.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [Carrie-Ann gasps] Wait, you just do you for real?
Brandon (as Les): For real.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That’s huge! It’s like your whole thing.
Brandon (as Les): I know.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh my god.
Brandon (as Les): Can you tell I am ecstatic?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You know, I couldn't tell but I think later we'll just we'll like celebrate. In the meantime, not to like harsh your buzz or whatever. I think there was like, like guts and poop in stuff in this bucket.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, gross.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I found like I don't want to say–
Amanda: And then I cover Boo’s ears with both hands.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [whispers] –a fairy. [in her normal voice] Just like pouring this junk in the river and then yelled at me and then left. So I think I found out what's happening at least.
Brandon (as Les): Hmm Okay, that was a little far fetched for me, what's uh, but I love it. I'm excited to investigate it. We should definitely find Phoebe first though.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah
Brandon (as Les): I think we should definitely start making some noise one, in case bears. Two, maybe Phoebe will hear us.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): So Boo, Angels and Demons is a bad book.
Eric (as Boo): No! You’re just doing it to hurt me now!
Brandon: I just want Boo to scream.
Eric (as Boo): Ehhh!
Amanda: Boo! Tell me about Chapter one? What's the plot?
Eric (as Boo): That's a great question.
Eric: Alright, Phoebe here’s–
Julia: Cutaway. I was, I knew, I knew it was coming.
Eric: You rolled 7 to 9, yeah?
Julia: Oh, yes, I rolled a 7.
Eric: Alright, roll a D6 for me.
Julia: Rolled another 6.
Eric: You rolled another 6, wonderful.
Brandon: Dang.
Eric: You find the path again and you find another stream that's leading you back up as it's reversed. And you hear–
Eric (as Boo): Help! Help!
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Boo): Help me.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Julia: I approach.
Eric: You look up and up 10 feet is Boo holding his watermelon rind, and he is stuck up in a tree.
Julia (as Phoebe): Hey, Boo. How'd you get up there, bud?
Eric (as Boo): Phoebe, I was afraid of the bears, and then I went in the tree.
Julia (as Phoebe): Did you find Carrie-Ann or Les?
Eric (as Boo): No, I didn't see them.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Julia: Can I read a bad situation?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: I don't want to give away the fact that I as the player know that this is probably not Boo.
Eric: I don't know what you mean.
Amanda: Mine might not be Boo.
Julia: That’s true. Alright, so roll Sharp.
Brandon: I mean, all you got to do is ask the plot of Dan Brown's Chapter One of Angels and Demons.
Amanda: Or is it an unholy creature that loves Dan Brown? It could be either one.
Julia: Boo boo boo. Your girl is totally fucked. I'm gonna mark experience because I've rolled Snake Eyes.
Amanda: Oh no!
Eric: Oh Jesus, for read a bad situation?
Julia: Yeah. Which means I misread the situation entirely.
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Brandon and Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: I want to ask you a question my friend, Pheebs.
Julia (as Phoebe): Hey, what’s up.
Eric: What's most vulnerable to you?
Julia: Phoebe's most vulnerable in that she knows that if something happens to Boo, her best friend Carrie-Ann is going to be affected by that.
Eric: True.
Julia: And so Phoebe will do what it takes to make sure that Carrie-Ann does not get in trouble. And if that means helping Boo, then Phoebe is going to help Boo.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Aww… Best Friend's
Eric: Boo says–
Eric (as Boo): Help me. I can't climb down by myself so I need you to hold me in your arms and then bring me down.
Julia (as Phoebe): I don't know if I can get that high up in that tree.
Eric (as Boo): You can or then I'll be here lost by myself forever.
Julia (as Phoebe): Boo. Boo. What if I hold out my arms and I do a cool magic trick and then I catch you.
Eric (as Boo): I don't know how much I like that.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, but it's a cool magic trick like in Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.
Eric (as Boo): Oh, that's my favorite book. Okay. You're gonna ask Christ to bless you and you're a cleric?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, kinda.
Eric (as Boo): Okay.
Brandon: Quick show of hands. Has anyone here on this call actually read are some watched Angels and Demons?
Julia: Oh, hell, hell no, my guy.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. I read the duology on the beach in Florida visiting my grandparents because it was the only book in the CVS.
Eric: I read The Da Vinci Code a bunch of times and I never read Angels and Demons.
Julia: Phoebe is going to basically kind of wave her hand and create kind of a magical trampoline, almost a net in which Boo can fall into and then Phoebe can catch underneath that.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Something to slow his fall.
Eric: Yeah, like you're making a net or something. I think that's cool.
Amanda: Like a cat's cradle.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Alright. Let me roll Weird.
[dice roll]
Julia: 12.
Eric: 12? That's really good.
Julia: Yeah. So on a 12, the magic works without issue and I get to choose my effect. And basically, my effect here is I'm doing a thing that is beyond human limitations.
Eric: Sure. I like that. Phoebe, yeah, you you knit this magical trampoline or net. I like that. It's a trampoline.
Julia: Kids love trampoline.
Eric: Or like it's a fireman's parachute that feels like a trampoline.
Amanda: It's Multitool.
Eric: Yeah. I like that. And Boo says–
Eric (as Boo): I don't want to get down.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, Boo. But you know, what's really fun, and I think that we get to do it camp, but we could do right now? Just us?
Eric (as Boo): What?
Julia (as Phoebe): Trampolines.
Eric (as Boo): That's true. We're also Where did you get this?
Julia (as Phoebe): I asked the forest to make it for you. And it did.
Eric (as Boo): What does that mean?
Julia (as Phoebe): Sometimes the forest does us favors because it's really cool and nature is magical.
Eric (as Boo): Do you have a relationship with the forest?
Julia (as Phoebe): I mean, we all have a relationship with the forest, don't we?
Eric (as Boo): Okay, but I can't create nets out of my hand.
Julia (as Phoebe): Not yet.
Eric (as Boo): What?
Julia (as Phoebe): Just sometimes you read a lot of books, and then you talk to nature and then nature's like, oh, you seem cool. I'm gonna let you do cool stuff.
Eric (as Boo): Listen, I know when people are lying to me, like when my mom lies to me that she's not upset and that she doesn't know who my dad is. Don't lie to me.
Julia (as Phoebe): I don’t know anything about that. I don't– I don't know anything about that–
Eric (as Boo): How can you do magic?
Julia (as Phoebe): And it’s definitely not that weird Puzzle cleric guy. I don't know. I just can. What do you want from me, Boo?
Eric (as Boo): Tell me the truth.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm trying to help you.
Eric (as Boo): I just want the truth. If you can't, if you're gonna lie to me, I'm just gonna stay in the tree forever.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Boo): And then I'm gonna die up here.
Julia (as Phoebe): And you'll just stay in the tree until Carrie-Ann comes and gets you out of the tree because at this point, I'm getting very frustrated with you and you pushed me in the water earlier.
Eric (as Boo): Alright, well, I’m gonna stay here then. I will say the tree forever until you tell me the truth and why you can do magic. Bleh.
Julia: Phoebe just sighs and looks up at the branch and Phoebe’s gonna roll jinx to see if she could break the branch that he's on.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Do it. Good.
Amanda: I think we need a Text Tone pack of Eric going heh! and Julia going huh.
Julia: I rolled an 8.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Which means on a 7 to 9 hold 1, and it allows me to interfere with what a monster, minion, or bystander is trying to do.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: With Jinx because it's a mix success, it's just one thing?
Julia: Yes, it can be 2 when I roll higher but with Jinx it's just 1.
Eric: Okay, so you want the you want the branch to break?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Alright, that's fine. If a branch breaks and Boo goes–
Eric (as Boo): No!
Eric: And falls on the trampoline, and then immediately bounces and flies right towards you.
Julia: Great and I grab him .
Eric: And hits you in the chest and all the wind is knocked out of you. Please take 1 harm for me.
Julia: Great.
Brandon: And your face gets all wet with watermelon juice.
Julia: [whispers] Fucking kid.
Brandon: It’ll get sticky later.
Eric: That's not what happens in my story. As you know that's not what happens.
Brandon: Sir, Eric, sir, I'm sorry.
Eric: I'm so it's not what happens in the story. Phoebe does not get sticky with juice.
Brandon: And then Boo’s wearing a top hat and with a cane.
Eric: That's not what happened.
Brandon: And sings the WB song.
Eric (as Boo): Hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my sunshine gal.
Amanda: Incredible
Julia: It's somehow worse in that voice.
Eric (as Boo): Alright. Can I hold your hand as we walk through?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yes, Boo, you can hold my hand.
Eric (as Boo): Okay. Now your hands all sticky from watermelon juice.
Eric: You see I put it in anyway. That's called, yes, and. That's called the yes, and.
Amanda: Eric, are you sure? Yes, and is it when you specifically say no, your thing is stupid. Here's the thing I like instead.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Are you sure?
Eric: Alright. I will like everyone to one last time navigate the woods.
[dice roll]
Julia: Oh, finally. [sighs] Alright. I rolled an 11.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Yey! That's a 9 for me.
Brandon: Oh, I got a 10 plus 2 for 12 total.
Amanda: Guys, good job!
Julia: We did it!
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: We did it.
Eric: Les and Carrie-Ann, how are you? Are you trading off who has Boo now?
Amanda: Boo is still bungee corded to me. I think I maybe showed or gave Les the bucket? I don't know. Unless you want like take any samples or you know, collect that at all.
Brandon: I have it on a stick as far away from me as possible.
Amanda: Good. And I think just together we're like making noise and slowly walking, probably downstream to see Phoebe.
Eric: Cool
Brandon: Yeah, we're just trying to find Phoebe.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: The way you I hope Phoebe knows this. The way you find someone in the woods is you find the water source and you stick close to the water. And if everyone knows that, then you follow the source of the water then you go down and you find each other.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Except when there's blood in the water because then it might get turned around.
Brandon: That's true. That's true.
Eric: Yeah. Les, you're walking forward with the bucket and Boo is walking next to you giving you like a real play by play like a cliff notes version of Angels and Demons.
Eric (as Boo): And then my favorite part is when the demons come and then the angels are there and you but it's a pictogram that Tom Hanks needs to do and fix–
Brandon (as Les): Right.
Eric (as Boo): –and it's like it's on the side of a church but they don't know what the church because it's underground.
Brandon (as Les): Right. Boo, what are the themes of the book that's what we really need to–
Eric (as Boo): Lost and then finding religion and also mysteries.
Brandon (as Les): You know, I'm not going to lie, Boo, your reading interpretation skills, critical reading skills, far above your age.
Eric (as Boo): Thank you. I appreciate that. Do you want any watermelon?
Brandon (as Les): No, thank you.
Eric (as Boo): Okay, also is it bad if I feel like my bungee cord leash isn't being pulled anymore?
Brandon (as Les): What?
Brandon: I'm gonna whip around and see if Carrie-Ann is still there
Eric: Carrie-Ann’s gone.
Brandon (as Les): Fuck!
Brandon: I grab onto Boo immediately. Pick him up. Just make sure he doesn't run away.
Eric (as Boo): I wasn't gonna run away.
Brandon (as Les): I know you're not gonna run away.
Eric: And then Les, you hear Boo is right in front of you and then all for the distance you hear–
Eric (as Boo): I'm running away.
Eric: Bursting through the woods is Boo, followed by Phoebe.
Julia: Who just grabs Boo as soon as they come into the clearing being like–
Julia (as Phoebe): [irritated] No! You're not.
Brandon (as Les): Uhh… Pheebs?
Julia (as Phoebe): Les, hey.
Brandon (as Les): I'm so glad to see you. But why do we both have Boos?
Julia (as Phoebe): Hmmm… That's interesting, huh?
Brandon (as Les): Fuck.
Eric (as Boo): This seems like a real predicament only created by the America sweetheart, Dan Brown.
Julia: Phoebe's gonna grab the one that she has by the collar and is going to use magic.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And one of my effects for use magic is to banish a spirit or curse from a person, object or place it inhabits.
Eric: Oh, sure.
Julia: Alright, so I think Phoebe just reaches down and grabs where she has Boo by the collar and magic surges into her hand. And when she pulls back up, it's not pulling out the fabric of Boo’s shirt, but rather at what she thinks is a spirit that is potentially inhabiting Boo in this moment, or taking the form of Boo.
Amanda: Cool
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Boo says–
Eric (as Boo): Why– why-- don't do your magic stuff on me. Don’t do it.
Julia: I rolled a 7 + 2 is 9.
Eric: A 9? Okay.
Julia: Which means that my magic works imperfectly, I choose an effect and also a glitch.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I just want to say for the record, as I see this happening, as it's about to happen, Les is going to hit the deck and like lay on top of my Boo to make sure he's protected.
Amanda: Somewhere a Kingfisher swoons.
Julia: Do you want to choose the glitch, Eric? I always think that that's fair and more interesting when you get to do it.
Eric: Yeah, sure. You know, Les, it's really a good idea that you hit the deck. Because as you are pulling the spirit out of Boo, you're pulling this like yellow energy out instead. It's like spirits aren't supposed to be that color. That's how spirits work. And instead, you look down and it seems like out of Boo’s back, this Boo’s back, you're pulling a battery, very similar to the arcano battery that you saw with the waterhole monster that explodes in your face and you take 1 harm.
Brandon: Oh my god
[theme]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. I love the day that you get to pull out your fall and winter clothes. It is definitively chilly season, which you I've talked about before. I love chilly season. But there's something especially living in the Northeast. In New York, there's something called False Fall, which is where it's below 60 degrees Fahrenheit for like, two days and then it immediately goes back to 85. But you are pulling out your clothes because you know is officially chilly season. And you get to look at all of your sweatshirts and sweaters and long pants. And you're like, I have so many clothes. And you are living like a king. You had like one shirt, one peasant shirt when you were a peasant. And now I have so many textiles that we fought wars over and learned how to distribute mercantile all over the globe. And now look at all these sweaters. Welcome to the Medrol I am a king. Look at my purple sweater, you could tell that it is from the fact that I have a purple piece of clothing. First and foremost, thank you to all of our newest patrons. I am currently on vacation right now getting lemarried. So if you just joined, we will thank you soon. But that doesn't mean that you can't join the patron only Discord that are part of Join the Party for just $5 a month you get access to that Discord plus bonus audio, a whole other podcast called Party Planning, where we kind of just do whatever and amuse each other. We hope that we amuse you too. It's all of your Join the Party friends hanging out just being guys and dudes. Then there's ad free episodes at $8 a month if you don't want to listen to this, which I understand because the lot or you can get video content for Party Planning at $10 a month and see our beautiful faces. You might be surprised which one is Amanda. I am Amanda that this has been Amanda this whole time and more and more and more as you go up the tiers. Check it out patreon.com/jointhepartypod this is how we're able to make the show. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It is a wonderful day to check out one of the other shows here in the Multitude collective. I'm gonna run command Queer Movie Podcast. It is starting to get into Oscar season I am already planning out my Thanksgiving we're going to start watching all the Oscar movies when they're officially coming out. But sometimes you need to be reminded of all the gay lesbian bisexual trans people, and plus people that are in movies all over the cinematic canon. That is where Queer Movie Podcast comes in, which is a queer movie watch party hosted by Rowan Ellis and Jazza John, join them as they research and rate their way through the Queer Film canon one genre at a time from rom coms to slashers contemporary arthouse cinema to black and white classics. Queer Movie Podcast is a celebration of all things. And I want to get this right 12345 A's gaaaaay on the silver screen. New episodes every other Thursday. I really hope they end up talking about Bros. Queer movie by guest, listen.
Eric: We are sponsored this week by Starseekers' Guide to Draken Star, a 5th edition compatible campaign setting book based off of the Dungeons and Dragons podcast super quest Saga by our friends at the Dungeon Cast. This is a Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition expansion filled with new player options, customized skills to fit the future setting and all the tools any GM would need to bring their campaign to life in Draken Star, a setting where science fiction meets high fantasy. Hey, look at these people who don't work at Wizards of the Coast doing interesting and innovative things. Thank you. It is set in the far future have always wants a classic fantasy world civilization has now spread across the many planets of the known galaxy. You gotta check out the setting book, there's a new class, there's new subclasses there's new backgrounds and features custom spaceship designs with rules for travel by ether light and ship to ship combat over 100 custom monsters from across the galaxy. We are big fans of the Dungeon Cast here all the way back to the beginning of Join the Party. And we very much want this book to be kickstarted you have until the morning of October 30th less than– well, I'm recording this and it's 22 days from now. So whenever it is I'm whenever you're listening to it, you have to kick start this by October 30 He got to tune in. To learn more about the project preorder your book and show your support visit jointhepartypod.com/dungeoncast, or click the link in our episode description that has jointhepartypod.com/dungeoncast. We are sponsored today by Inked Gaming, if you don't have a friendly local game store that you couldn't go to, why don't you make the internet your friendly local game store and check out Inked Gaming. Everyone has a go to shop where they give their mouse pads, their play mats, their dice bags, and all the other gaming goods. And Inked Gaming can be that for you. It's a one stop shop built by and for people who love games, one incredibly cool thing that they do is they make custom products, so you can personalize it with your own unique designs. So if you're looking for a gift for your game night crew, a GM a friend or just a way to make your own gaming setup a little bit cooler, you gotta check them out. And if you don't have something to personalize, they hire indie artists to make art for their stuff. And that money goes back to the artists so ethical and cool. I didn't know there was the whole package for you, Join the Party listener, you can get 10% off, all you have to do is go to inkedgaming.com/jointheparty and use the promo code, JOINTHEPARTY at checkout, this discount will automatically apply to your order. It's that simple inkedgaming.com/jointheparty and use promo code JOINTHEPARTY at checkout. And finally, now a word from our sponsor BetterHelp. Therapy is a really useful tool when there are problems in your life that you're not sure how to solve. Maybe, I don't know, you decided to put your wedding in the middle of Fall season because you know, it's gonna be really pretty everywhere. But then you realize that the Jewish holidays are around there, And that's stressful. And then a lot of stuff is happening around you. And it's really hard for you to keep all of your stuff together and the person usually talk to you about this. He's also dealing with the same exact stuff, so you don't really have anyone else to talk to. And that is where BetterHelp comes in. You just all therapy is is getting someone to like be an objective person for you to talk to. It's not that complicated. And I think we build this up in our head because we think like sharing our emotions is as deep complex stuff. No it’s sharing your emotions. You don't have to give an arm and a leg or have the bones of your arms and a leg up for you to get good therapy. When you want to be a better problem solver and want someone to talk to you about your problems, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. That is better H E L P.com/jointheparty and now back to the show.
[theme]
Brandon: When I hear that explode I get up throw Boo you know in my backpack real quick or like you know carry him with one arm at least and rush out to Phoebe to make sure she's okay.
Eric: Phoebe, your face is covered in soot.
Brandon (as Les): [frantic] Phoebe, Phoebe, are you okay?
Julia (as Phoebe): Ow.
Eric: And the blasts seem to have blasted whatever kind of like skin, quote-unquote skin on this Boo’s back and it's just met– it's just metal plating welded together and there was a battery pack that exploded.
Julia (as Phoebe): It was a Boo robot, I probably should have anticipated that but–
Brandon (as Les): A Boobot. Yeah, I've heard of these.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah. The Boobot.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann is seething that she’s missing this.
Brandon (as Les): I don't know if-- I met someone in the woods who might have made this.
Julia (as Phoebe): What?
Brandon (as Les): Mavis, right?
Eric: Mavis Beacon who teaches typing.
Brandon (as Les): Her name was Mavis. She was the coolest person I've ever met in my life but–
Eric: Just really quick, her name is Mavis Beacon, and she teaches typing.
Brandon: I–
Eric: No, I'm just letting you know.
Brandon: Oh okay.
Brandon (as Les): Her name is Mavis Beacon, and she taught typing.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric: Thank you.
Julia (as Phoebe): That's really oddly specific and probably something you don't need to say.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Anyway–
Brandon (as Les): That's what I thought too.
Julia (as Phoebe): So you think she made this? Why do you think she made a Boobot?
Brandon (as Les): Well, she was building like a robot with like, like a dinosaur with like welding tools.
Julia (as Phoebe): What?
Brandon (as Les): But we can figure that out later. We do need to find Carrie-Ann and figure out what the blood is in this river is first I think.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, it's fairy poop and also squirrel innards.
Brandon (as Les): Oh! Did you just taste that in the water or something?
Julia (as Phoebe): You know, it was all over my body. But I can't say that I tasted it.
Brandon (as Les): Oh!
Brandon: And Les takes one half step back.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yep. Yep, that's how I'm feeling. I'm gonna wash your towel before I give it back to you, I promise.
Brandon (as Les): You know what? [clears throat] You know what, Phoebe, you could just keep that towel.
Julia: Oh okay, that's really nice.
Eric: Les, I'm also going to tell you now that you know that there are fairies involved. And there was a duplicate robot of a child. This isn't just a Boobot, this is a robot changeling.
[Julia gasps]
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: What happens when you make a duplicate robot of a child? It's a robot changeling.
Brandon: Heck yeah.
Eric: And there are various involved robot changeling.
Brandon: Yeah.
[hums a theme]
Eric: Thank you, Steven Soderbergh. I appreciate the reveal.
Amanda: That’s the noise that happens in Ocean's 12 when they're planning and doing a heist, he goes– [hums a theme Ocean’s 12 style]
Eric: With like a sitar or something it's from Ocean's 12 when they're doing the first heist in the movie.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: So Les, I feel like you would have put that together, so I would get I'll give that one to you.
Brandon: Cool. Yeah, I'm gonna look at my book and mark that as seen!
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia (as Phoebe): And also heard.
Eric: I would also say, y'all should look out for young people who might get swapped out. Oh. Keep that in your monster brain.
Brandon (as Les): Okay. Alright, let's, let's try to find Carrie-Ann now, she was literally just behind us. Boo, can you keep yelling for us? Just make some noise.
Eric (as Boo): Uhh…
Brandon (as Les): Tell me about the use of metaphorical language within Angels and Demons.
Julia (as Phoebe): Boo, also when’s your birthday?
Eric (as Boo): Oh, like, February.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm sorry.
Eric (as Boo): How did you know that I was the real well, that was the real the real Boo.
Brandon (as Les): I didn't.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, good. Good.
Eric (as Boo): So you didn't know that?
Brandon (as Les): Me?
Eric (as Boo): Like, Phoebe how did you didn't know that? You just did it.
Julia: Phoebe just kind of like smiles and is like–
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, I just kind of did it.
Eric: Alright, Carrie-Ann–
Julia: Wait, hold on. This one said February. What is the exact date? Because otherwise, I'm going to try to pull an arcane battery out of him too.
Eric: Boo doesn't know what his birthday is.
Phoebe: Boo doesn't know when his birthday is?
Eric (as Boo): I mean…
Julia: You don’t know-- Hold on…
Julia (as Phoebe): You don't know when your own birthday is?
Eric (as Boo): I mean, it's more like celebrate the whole month of February is my birthday month.
Julia: I'm gonna try to pull an arcane battery out of this one.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Alright.
Eric: Roll for it, roll magic.
Julia: Fuck! [dice roll] Ah! I rolled a 10.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I'm gonna drop Boo and hit the deck again.
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe, you gotta fucking warn me when you do this.
Julia (as Phoebe): He doesn’t know when his own birthday is, Les.
Eric: Phoebe–
Julia (as Phoebe): Just like the one thing you know as a child.
Eric: I don't know how to say this. But in the most like, Looney Tunes cartoon way possible. There is now like Boo’s body on the ground and you're holding Boo’s ghost in your hands.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
[Les SCREAMS]
[Boo SCREAMS]
Julia (as Phoebe): That didn't work out exactly how I was planning on it working out.
Brandon (as Les): [frantic] Put it back!
Amanda: Do you just like put it down?
Julia: Like very gently put it back down into the body.
Julia (as Phoebe): You need to know when your birthday is, that's like the one thing little kids know.
Eric (as Boo): My mom celebrates my whole birth month of February. That’s my whole birthday is the February the month.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon: I'm gonna grab Boo under my arm just to make sure he doesn't go anywhere.
Eric (as Boo): I'm having a day.
Brandon (as Les): I know. I'm so sorry, buddy. I think–
Brandon: I whispered at Boo.
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] I think Phoebe might be an angel and or demon.
Eric (as Boo): I could– yeah. It was like that part in Chapter 24 of Angels and Demons when Dan Brown spirit was separated but that he talked he talked to St. Michael.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Julia: You know the main character, Dan Brown?
Amanda: It's really good.
Eric (as Boo): It turns out that St. Michael's the water at the pearly gates, not St. Peter, that was one of the things that the Pope was trying to cover up.
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Yeah, yeah, I know.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: Julia’s never found a joke funnier.
Julia: That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. This is a mess.
Amanda: I love it.
Julia: I pulled a soul out of a child's body. This is such a mess. What am I doing with my life?
Eric: Shit fuck– Oh my god. Carrie-Ann–
Amanda: What up?
Eric: You turn around and the bungee cord that’s connecting you Boo is cut.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No!
Eric: It is just a clean– it’s just a clean slice. Like someone who's using the sharpest pair of scissors.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Who gave that child a pocket knife?
Eric (as Steven): Well, it was probably one of the fairies. Boo had a deal with one of the fairy folk. That's one of the things they do. They love to make deals, and it feels like one of the things you should know if you're out here in the woods.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, you want to make a deal where you leave Camp Diogenes and never come back? Jerk.
Eric: You hear the cartoonish stacking of bones on top of each other. As Steven is leaning casually with his sunglasses flicked down on his nose? And he's leaning against the stone wall.
Brandon: Just to clarify you do mean it he sounds like a xylophone when he walks, right?
Eric: That's exactly– what when they're putting the bones back together.
Brandon: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Eric: That's exactly it.
Julia: I also can’t believe it's taken us this long to question how he was wearing sunglasses when he has no ears or no nose.
Eric: Here's the other thing Carrie-Ann, Steven is leaning against the wall and is on your side.
Amanda and Brandon: Oh shit.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Why are you inside the wall?
Eric: I don't have to answer to you about anything.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Get out.
Eric (as Steven): No! In fact, I'm here to help you and I think you should take my help.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I will never help you.
Eric (as Steven): I'm a cool dude. All I want to do is help. He-he-he!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I pick up a rock and throw it at him.
Brandon: In a fucking safari zone.
Amanda: Yup.
Eric: Yeah, it goes right into one of his eye holes.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Heuuugh! Get out! I mean it!
Eric (as Steven): Alright, you want me to get out but I can tell you a bunch of secrets that Director Löw is keeping from you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): La-la-la-la-la-la!
Amanda: And Carrie-Ann like charges forward to try to like step toward him until she could push them over the wall.
Eric: Act under pressure.
Amanda: Hell yeah. [dice roll] Oh, yeah. It's an 11
Eric: Incredible. You charge forward and you run smack into something or you your midsection run–
Amanda: Like clotheslined?
Eric: Yeah, you get clotheslined in the stomach by something that is invisible that you didn't see before.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Ugh! Get out of here!
Eric: And you look down and after you touch it like pops into view and it’s the wall.
Julia: Oh, it was an illusion.
Eric (as Steven): Ah, see, Carrie-Ann. This is why I wanted to have a little tête-à-tête. Bone bone on bone with you. You know how because you're so smart you are you just you know exactly what's happening, and that's why I feel like I need to tell you the truth. I should be helping you out and keeping all the bad people who are trying to make Camp Diogenes go away. I just want to do what you want to do. I tricked you. I'm sorry but it's because you're so smart.
Eric: And the wall he was leaning on disappears.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You're saying nice things but I feel like it's a lie. So I don't really know what to feel.
Eric: He like leans on the wall like the peanuts do with his arms leading on it casually.
Eric (as Steven): Carrie-Ann, you– I know, I know. You were going to be director one day I've seen directors come and go.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, that's not news to anybody. I know that, too! Everyone knows that.
Eric (as Steven): Oh, you know who doesn't know that? Director Friday Löw who was intimidated and threatened by you and it's keeping a lot of secrets from you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That's not true. She told me I would be director one day.
Eric (as Steven): Okay, well, do you know where the whistle is?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): On her keychain where it always is.
Eric (as Steven): Nope.
Eric: Steven reaches into his eye to pull the rock out, and throws that away. And he pulls out and he's holding the whistle.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, so, toss it to me then if you think it’s so real.
Brandon: Amanda, you've never played a better 14 year old in your life.
Julia: Best 14 year old in the world.
Amanda: Thank you.
Eric (as Steven): That's– I'm not going to do that. Because that's definitely the whistle. And this is the main thing that y'all that you all use to keep you out. And the director didn't tell you that it was gone. What kind of mentor doesn't tell you that that happens?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I don't know.
Julia: Got real Jerry Seinfeld at the end there and I appreciate it.
Eric: What's the deal with Skeleton?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): One who was lying to me? Because I don't think that's a real whistle at all.
Eric (as Steven): Okay, you don't have to believe me, but I'm telling you the truth.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Fine. I don't believe you. Because you're evil. I'm going to kill you. And then I'm going to rule over camp for the rest of my life.
Brandon: Rule over camp.
Eric (as Steven): Carrie-Ann. I, I love I love the spirit. I love everything. But I think that you're working in the wrong direction. I think that you are in fact, hurting more things than you know. And you wouldn't do that. Because you want camp to thrive. Don't you want more summer? Don't you want it to be camp all the time? I can make that happen.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Just because we want things doesn't mean they should happen.
Eric (as Steven): I– who has been telling you that? That's exact. That's 100% not true. We want things that were probably right. And we should have them. You have spent your entire life wanting things, and people have told you no. And I'm the first person who can give you something that you might want.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): My mom and dad said it when I said we should move to camp.
Eric (as Steven): I figured. That makes a lot of sense that people who don't believe in you want to stuff your shine down. All I want to do is help you out. Listen, you don't have we're not best friends. You don't have to come over on this side of the wall or anything. I just want to help you out, give you the clarity you need to get what you want. And maybe if you think I'm a cool dude, we can figure it out going forward.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): If that whistle is so real, then give it to me. That's how I'll know that you're telling the truth.
Eric (as Steven): I'm not going to do that. I think instead you should ask. If you want this so bad. You got to promise me you're going to ask the director where the whistle is. And then she's gonna say I have it right here, and she's gonna show you a whistle. And I'm telling you the one I'm holding is the real one.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm not making any promises to you saw theory today. I've read books. Actually haven’t read many books but my best friend has read a lot. So I know things about books.
Brandon: You've read a lot of manuals
Eric (as Steven): Listen–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That's not books, that's hobbies.
Eric (as Steven): Listen, I don't want– I think there's a great thing that you're cleaning up, you're cleaning up the stream. I don't like what Greenbrook’s doing.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Who's that?
Eric (as Steven): He's the guy please the fairy– the president of the– I'm not really sure of their whole government system, but he's the leader of the fairies out here. And he's the one trying to get all the campers to go because he hates camp so much.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Blah, blah, blah. You think you can make me say like, oh, oh blah, blah, blah, do whatever. Ruin the wall or whatever, make summer forever?
Eric (as Steven): No, I don't!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm not stupid.
Eric (as Steven): Okay, let me–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I’m a CIT at Camp Die, I'm going to be director one day, and nothing you say or do or promise will make me disobey Director Löw.
Eric (as Steven): Okay, ask Director Löw where the whistle is. I can also tell you that Greenbrook will do whatever you want if you defeat him in the challenge, and I think you should defeat him in the challenge to save the camp. And I wouldn't have told you that if we're not if we're not good buds.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, but just because I take things that you tell me to help me doesn't mean that I believe you.
Eric (as Steven): Carrie-Ann, that's exactly what it means. Alright. Have fun. Blublublublublu
[Brandon screams]
Eric (as Steven): Just kidding. I'm still here. I'm still here. I’m just off the ground now. I’m still behind the wall.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What’s the deal with the watermelons?
Eric (as Steven): They're delicious.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Why does Boo happen all the time?
Eric (as Steven): Because they're delicious.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Ugh!
Eric (as Steven): And he's my son. No, that was a lie. If Boo was my son, he'd be a skeleton.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Why are you so obsessed with camp? Did you like die here or something you're trying to get reunited with like your bones?
Eric (as Steven): Sorry, Carrie-Ann. And those are things I only tell to my good buds, and you just said that we weren't good buds.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, we are enemies and we always will be. It's another kind of intimacy so you can tell me.
Eric (as Steven): That's not how– that's not how that works. You can come back, come back to the wall whenever you're ready.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): And you'll like leave us alone in the meantime–
Eric (as Steven): I'll tell you everything. I'll tell you everything. They will prove it it will prove to you that we're good buds..
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'll think about it.
Eric (as Steven): Okay, blublublublu. I'm just getting I'm still on the ground
Amanda: Carrie-Ann turns and runs away.
Julia: Carrie-Ann’s gonna betray us all.
Eric: I don't know what you’re-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Eric: Carry-Ann as you're running through the woods and as Boo is recounting the end of Angels and Demons to Phoebe and Les, you all break through the trees into a clearing of wildflowers of the brightest colors. The blueest blues and the purpleest purples and the yellowest yellows, and you see that there is a like a pool at the head of the brook. Where a bunch of fairies with with butterfly wings are pouring buckets of red slop into the brook.
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe, keep– get down, get down, everyone get down.
Eric: You see that there's also a fairy wearing an unmarked black baseball cap, a untucked buttoned down shirt and slacks that has moth wings.
Brandon: Is he kind of the fairy you'd want to have a beer with?
Eric: Yeah, exactly. Who’s floating around and looking over the shoulder of all the fairies who are pouring the red stuff into the stream. And he says–
Eric (as Greenbrook): [in a high pitched voice] Alright, we need to make sure we hit our quarterly--.[laughs] We need to make sure we hit our quarterly goals to keep boring. This the only way that we can get the company which is our company together of fairies. That's a group of fairies a company, to get all the kids of Camp Die out.
Eric: You all stumble into the clearing. Les and Phoebe and Boo turn and you see Carrie-Ann just kind of goes–
Eric (as Carrie-Ann): Ugh!
Eric: Bust through the woods.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhh..
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann, get down with us. Come on
Julia (as Phoebe): No, no, listen, listen, guys.
Brandon (as Les): What?
Julia (as Phoebe): If we challenge that manager looking fairy guy to a challenge, then we can be president of the fairies.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You said it not me.
Brandon (as Les): I don't– I don't want to be president of the fairies.
Julia (as Phoebe): Carrie-Ann, do you want to be president of the fairies? I have another job right now. So I can't take it but I feel like you'd be really good at it.
Brandon (as Les): What's your job?
Julia (as Phoebe): As a spokesman for the nature? No, don't worry about it. Carrie-Ann, you’d be an awesome president of the fairies.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les I think they'd really listen to a boy.
Brandon (as Les): That seems awful sexist.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Not to like point out that you're a boy but I, you– can't be me.
Julia: Phoebe looks at Les like–
Julia (as Phoebe): You're a boy. Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Fuck I mean, what kind of challenge like to would like a fist fight or like Tic Tac Toe game?
Julia (as Phoebe): I think it's just like whatever you want.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Shit.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Say say facts about about about Bigfoot.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah. Though, he might personally know Bigfoot, so I wouldn't like I wouldn't do that one.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh fudge.
Brandon (as Les): Okay, okay. I got Okay. Okay. I got I got I got.
Julia (as Phoebe): His name is Greenbrook by the way.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, thank you. I was trying to think of something to say. But that actually helped.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Greenbrook! Briarface! Your doom has arrived!
Julia: Phoebe goes–
Julia (as Phoebe): I like that you gave him a last name.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, that's really good. It's like establishing dominance.
Eric: We cut to Les reading in the book one night. That's like–
Eric (as book Les is reading): Everyone knows that you need to come to the fairy court with the most regal and with the most regal voice and accent as possible. That's the only way they will take you seriously.
Brandon: And you see Les, like highlight and underline that.
Eric (as Greenbrook): Hey, yeah, what's it to you? We're trying to hit our quarterly goals here.
Brandon (as Les): [in a British accent] You will stop putting your garbage into our, into–
Guys I went British for a second.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): It’s okay, it’s okay
Julia (as Phoebe): Focus up, focus up.
Brandon (as Les): You will stop putting your garbage into our water supply or my name isn't Les–
Julia (as Phoebe): No, don't, it’s a fairy– don't tell him your name.
Eric (as Greenbrook): Yeah, tell me your whole name.
Brandon (as Les): My name is isn't.
Julia (as Phoebe): Don't– don't even isn't it.
Brandon (as Les): Red Stream–
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): –Friar–
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): –hand.
Eric (as Greenbrook): Ah, It was pretty apparent to me you made that up. But that's probably for the best because I would have stolen your name. Alright. Well, if you you're coming up here with your claim to all everything we're doing here. You want to be CEO or president or chairman of the board of the fairies of this company. Well, we're gonna have to have some sort of contest to deal with that.
Brandon (as Les): I challenge you to a race! No flying.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Foot race.
Brandon (as Les): Foot race. I challenge you to a foot race!
Eric (as Greenbrook): Alright, hold on. I am to consult I have to consult the big book of rules and stuff to figure out who gets to challenge who, hold on.
Eric: And the fairy pulls out a comically large handbook out of his pocket.
Amanda: What’s the clipart on the cover there, Eric?
Eric: It’s a stock photo of like people in an office but they all have butterfly wings.
Amanda: Great
Julia: Incredible.
Brandon: Well, Les check out his book and like, you know, start looking through to it too.
Julia: A book-off.
Eric: Cool. Why don't you call me I think there's gonna be a manipulate someone because you want him to do you want this person to do what they want– What do you want.
Brandon: Great.
Amanda: Hell yeah, dude.
[dice roll]
Brandon: I got a 5 and a 5 + 1 plus one so 11.
Eric: Oh 11.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Greenbrook): Alright, that's fine. We're gonna do a foot race.
Brandon (as Les): Alright.
Eric (as Greenbrook): Tell me the parameters.
Brandon (as Les): The parameters are no flying is inherent in the name but I thought I would outline that just in case.
Eric (as Greenbrook): Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): Les, Les! You're going British again.
Brandon (as Les): Shit. Alright. We will– it's a quarter mile dash, and I'll pace it out real quick. We'll start from the head of the stream here and then I'll pace out insert number of pieces that are in a quarter mile.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Greenbrook): It's lucky I don't know if you knew this but it's a quarter mile just across the across the field here.
Julia: That’s a big field.
Brandon (as Les): Great. That is convenient.
Eric (as Greenbrook): It is. Now can I tempt you for doing a cool tricks on the on the awesome waterslide contest instead?
Brandon (as Les): No.
Eric (as Greenbrook): Okay.
Julia (as Les): As fun as that would be for the listeners know, no.
Eric (as Greenbrook): We could do a triathlon where we do a foot race, a knowledge race and some other kind of or a knowledge tests and some other kinds of challenges
Julia: And cool slip slide thing.
Brandon (as Les): A cool slip slide thing.
Eric (as Greenbrook): It’s a decathlon!
Eric: And then we–
Amanda: Montage.
Eric: We cut to a montage.
Julia: The fairies cheer at that. They go–
Julia (as Fairies): [in small fairy voices] Yeah!
Eric: Yeah, we do a montage of various things. Also a fairy decathlon actually has 11 events, so–
Julia: So many things.
Eric: So it's all tied up. Five to five.
Julia: Whoa!
Julia: Hold on, Eric, we need to come up with the other 10 things.
Eric: Yeah, what one is cool waterslide tricks.
Julia: Gotcha.
Amanda: Two is riddles
Brandon: Cryptid trivia.
Eric: Cryptid trivia three.
Amanda: It’s good. Knitting.
Brandon: Knitting.
Eric: Knitting. Flying race is one of them. Because there's a running race. There's a flag race.
Brandon: That one feels cheating, but alright.
Eric: Well, it's usually fairies who are competing in it because it's a fairy’s decathlon.
Brandon: There's a push up challenge in front of the girls’ cabin.
Eric: Alright, that’s 7.
Julia: Finding the coolest mushroom.
Eric: Eight. That's a good one. That's a good one.
Amanda: Yeah. Pollinating a flower because the bees are lazy.
Eric: Les won that one. That's wild.
Amanda: Yeah.
Amanda: Les did a great job at that one.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Nine. One is baking forbidden food.
Amanda: Good.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: That’s 10. And then 11 was was actually the traditional biathlon which is skiing and shooting.
Brandon: I would say it's just riflemanship.
Eric: Yeah, it’s riflery.
Eric (as Greenbrook): So it's all it's all going down like. This is finally the foot race. I can't believe this was last, I always lose this one. Alright, we're all ready? 3-2-1 go.
Eric: Les, I need you to make a roll for cool.
Brandon: Well, I'm gonna roll my no limits if that's all right.
Eric: Before that, I want you to roll + cool.
Brandon: Am I actually under pressure due to a monster phenomenon or mystical effect?
Eric: Correct.
Brandon: Alright, so I'm gonna rule posts weird instead of cool.
Eric: Do it, dog.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Well, I got a 3 + 2 for 5. But oh, it's fine, because I'm gonna use another luck.
[Julia and Amanda gasps]
Julia: Bigfoot is gonna come into play.
Eric: All right, here's what happens. Right as you see, hear go. You feel the unmistakable heat of magic charging up. And then you hear—
Eric (as Greenbrook): Oh, no! Our greatest enemy, Bigfoot!
Eric: And Bigfoot just fucking charges through the field.
Julia: What?!
[Les SCREAMS]
Eric: And forearm shivers, a bunch of the fairies, that were going to curse you and turn your feet into ducks.
Brandon: Oh my god.
Julia: What the fuck?
Brandon: And I would say Les is terrified of this. So he's running the fastest has ever run in his entire life.
Eric: You also see that Bigfoot starts eating a bunch of the fairies.
Brandon: Oh my god.
Julia: What?
Eric: And you see, and you get a real good look that Bigfoot actually has predator fangs, which you didn't know before.
Julia: Like mandibles like Predator or like, like a predator animal?
Eric: Yeah, he opens his mouth and there's another and I know that this is Alien. But there's another mouth inside of it that eats, shoots out eats the fairies
Julia: It’s the coolest thing ever.
Brandon: Now unfortunately, it does happen that Les is running. So when he does take out his camera to get a photo of this Bigfoot–
Julia: It’s blurry.
Brandon: It just just looks like all the other Bigfoot photos.
Eric: It's incredible. It's incredibly blurry. I also– your brain is so addled right now about what's happening here that like I don't know how we're going to recover from this but you can just, yeah, push yourself to the limits. Carrie-Ann and Phoebe, you just straight up see Bigfoot and Bigfoot is doing-- is eating fairies–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What the fuck?
Eric: And there's fairy blood running down his mouth onto his chest and it's glittery.
Julia (as Phoebe): What the fuck?
Amanda: Julia, if I may, I think we are standing on either side of Boo or like crouching down in the leaves and like each of us is using one hand to cover one of his eyes.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: I rolled a 7 + 2 for 9.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: I do it but I choose one consequence I suffer 1 harm take what -1 going forward, or I need to rest right now, which I will just take 1 harm away.
Eric: Here's what I'm gonna say. You are so goddamn addled with what you thought of real things about monsters. And like you are so compelled to like immediately you need to write, you need to rewrite a lot of the stuff that Charles Forte wrote because he obviously did not know what he's talking about. You're going to Sharpie just cross things out like a madman's journal and like write things in invisible ink and cross it out. I feel like everything you know about monsters is starting to be up ended in a way so I one of the hard moves I can give you is -1 on going. I'm going to change that to I'm going to give you -1 Sharp for the next mystery.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Because you are addled in what you understand as a tracker and as a searcher is has been totally upended by these fairies and Bigfoot and the fact that you saw Bigfoot twice. When you only saw Bigfoot one time that made you believe in monsters for the first place.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: How do you-- Yeah, how does that feel as you're sprinting across the field?
Brandon: Les is not thinking he's just yeah, like sprinting for his life at this point. And it just happens to be in the direction of that he's gonna win the race.
Eric: Some fairies are holding up like some tree root.
Amanda: Daisy chain.
Eric: Yeah, daisy chain that you've spread through and you just sprint all the way past it.
Amanda: You just keep going home.
Eric: Yeah, keep running. And much like an 80s movie. Would that end with a race to decide who owns the ski lodge at the end? It goes right into like credits mode, where it's like, [singing] I love you. Always and forever you and me, closer together– and then it does the final like postcard freeze frames on each one of you with like a little sentence on what happens next. And you see that there is Greenbrook throws his shoes down and huffs and there's a screenshot that says Greenbrook return the water back to normal but he still hates kids, especially at Camp Diogenes. Can each one of you give me a freeze frame for you and what you're doing in your freeze frame?
Julia: Phoebe's is bossing around the fairies to help them clean up things faster. And underneath it it says “Phoebe has found a new grown confidence in the woods.”
Amanda: Nice
Eric: Looks good.
Brandon: The freeze frame of Les is just from behind with dust kicked up from behind them. And thing says, “Les ran for 12 miles that day, and eventually returned back to camp after taking the long way around and took a two hour cold shower.”
Amanda: Carrie’s is dropping Boo off at his cabin later that afternoon. And the two of them like raising their eyebrows. Their heads tilted toward each other like exchanging a knowing glance. It said, “Boo never spoke of what happened that day, and Carrie-Ann never used the whistle again.”
Eric and Julia: [singing] I love you. Always and forever, near or far–
Eric: There then there's one of Bigfoot eating more fairies, “Bigfoot continues to eat fairies to this day. The reason why no one has seen a clear picture of him is because everyone is so reviled by the stench of flesh coming off of him.” And finally, there's one of Steven's skulls relaxing on the wall that says, “Steven said a lot of truths to Carrie-Ann and will continue to trick or not trick campers for the rest of his unnatural born life.”
Eric and Julia: [singing] I love you always forever, near or far.
Eric: Alright, do you want to do the end of session?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Did you conclude the current mystery?
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Sure did
Eric: For sure. Did you save someone from certain death? Or worse?
Brandon: I don't know.
Amanda: I think we saved Boo from being changelinged.
[general agreement]
Brandon: Yeah, I would say we protected you from getting hurt for sure. But I don't know if we said to him from death or not.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Not certain death but changelignified, that seems likely.
Eric: Well, even if this is a no the next ones are? Did we learn something new and important about the world?
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: Yes. And did we learn something new and important about one of the hunters?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: To Les, I don't think anything has changed. Nothing, nothing happened.
Eric: No, that's fine. That's definitely fine.
Brandon: So what do we mark?
Eric: Each gets two marks of experience.
Julia: Leveled up baby!
Amanda: Leveled up wahhee!
Eric: And I could just leave one thing for all of you. [singing] I love you always forever near and far and [mumbles sings I love you always forever lyrics] It's– it's free use because I'm so bad at singing it. [singing] I love you, always forever. I'm doing the macarena as I'm doing it.
[Eric singing as the theme fades in]
Transcriptionist: KM