14. The Errands I

Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #101: Attack the hardest thing you have to do in a day first thing in the morning. As Mark Twain said, “If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. Wait… your job really eating frogs? Jesus H Christ, really? This was metaphorical advice about being productive!”


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Cast & Crew

- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Multitude: multitude.productions


About Us

Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.

Transcript

Amanda:  Last time on Join the Party.

Eric:  I feel like, I just need to like do a list of everything that happened in the last episode because it was absolutely wild. So Phoebe met Charles who was a desiccated moose with mushrooms and fungi growing all over him, but it was in a regal, magical way, and Charles was very Charles but Phoebe was bowled over by the fact that he was actually real. Carrie-Ann yelled at a fairy who was pouring their poop in the river, which was actually the thing turning it that color, that's not sanitary. Carrie-Ann and also that Steven who told her that the director was hiding things from her, especially the fact that the magic whistle that supposedly kept Steven outside of camp was missing. Les and Phoebe eventually ran into each other in the woods and realized there were two Boos, one of which turned out to be an Arcano-mechanical changeling. Phoebe solved that, by pulling the soul out of one of the Boos, the one who was fake, and then she followed up by doing that to the real Boo who was real, who did not like that. Les challenged Greenbrook, the leader of the fairies to a fairy decathlon, which ended in a foot race, but right before it began, Bigfoot charged out of the woods and killed a bunch of fairies with razor-sharp teeth, which gave Les the confused and unsettling boost that he needed to beat Greenbrook and end the fairy decathlon victoriously in an 80s movie style montage. [sings] Because he's hungry like the wolf! Okay, last episode out of our system, what do we got now? Let's get the party started.

[theme]

Eric (as Bones): Good Morning, campers! It’s John Bonez Bones with another morning, morning, morning, and now it's been— it's been 40 times I've done this summer so far. So if you have been waiting to do things this summer, you better get in there right now. Get up on water skis, learn how to woodwork. If you've been afraid of holding mercury in your hand, you better get over that right now. 

Julia: No, they shouldn't. 

Brandon: This is before we knew the dangers of mercury. 

Amanda: Yeah. Yeah. 

Eric (as Bones): It's not dangerous, that's just what the mainstream media has to say. And if anyone wants to do hatmaking, we have a new instructor who walked in from the woods.

Julia:  Oh, no! Oh no!

Eric (as Bones): Okay, so don't let this summer slip on by. There's only a few more weeks left for you to not have to go to school, listen to your parents or be the person that all the kids know you as at school. You probably known as like Big Cheese or Stinky Friend. Also if you see Phoebe, you should stay 10 feet away at least. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  What?! Why?

Eric (as Bones):  You’re scary.

Julia (as Phoebe):  [speaks in a quavering voice] Okay.

Eric (as Bones):  Remember when she made all those boys sticky? Didn’t like that. Also, shouldn’t have said it like that.

Julia (as Phoebe): You can’t prove I did—-You can’t prove I did that.

Amanda:  Oh no.

Eric (as Boo):  This is John Bonez Bones signing off. Carpe diem. Seize the camp. 

Brandon:  I think John Bonez Bones is maybe scraping the bottom of the announcements barrel a little bit.

Eric:  He did this 40 times in a row. Brandon, I'm not scraping at the bottom of the barrel, John Bonez Bones is scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Brandon:  I know. I would never doubt you.

Eric:  Hey, friends. 

Julia:  Hi.

Eric:  How we—How we doing? How we doing?

Julia:  Oh, you know— a boy  just on the announcements, told everyone in camp that no one should go near Phoebe. So that's cool, I guess?

Eric:  I mean, you did make a bunch of stuff explode and Boo had been telling everyone—

Julia (as Phoebe):  No.

Eric:  That his soul was pulled out of his body by a CIT. 

Eric (as Boo):  I'm not gonna say who, but you could probably guess.

Julia:  Well, first off, children are very imaginative. And also you can prove that Phoebe had anything to do with the exploding syrup.

Brandon:  I think the saving grace, Julia, is that John’s Bonez Bones comes on at like 6 AM or 5 AM every morning, so no one hears these.

Julia: Okay. Fair enough.

Brandon: That’s true. 

Eric: That’s why he has the job in the first place.

Amanda:  Scrubbing sleepies out of their eyes. Yeah, throwing pillows.

Eric: I think we did say this was like the alarm for everyone. 

Amanda: Wake up call. Yeah.

Eric:  This is the equivalent of the rooster. 

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: You really need to hear through it. A lot of kids going–

Eric (as a Camper):  No. Stop.

Eric:  So that's true. Only a few people heard it. But there are a lot of people who are running on the track at 6 in the morning and were showering and we are like–

Eric (as Early Campers):  Hey yeah, I should stay away from Phoebe, she freaks me out.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): She's my best friend and I love her. Seize the camp. Seize the camp. 

Brandon: Seize the camp. [laughs]

Amanda: It’s like Carrie- Ann chanting as she walks by herself to breakfast.

Eric:  Carrie-Ann as you're walking to breakfast, there are like 20 other campers who are surrounding Boo and Boo’s saying–

Eric (as Boo): Okay, so I'm gonna have my spirit go into the special treat shop. If anyone wants anything particular if you want a sticky hand let me know. If you want Buncha Crunch, let me know. If you're one of those kids who can only have orange juice because of your diabetes, let me know. 

Brandon: Oh.

Julia:  That's very thoughtful of Boo. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Boo?

Brandon (as Devin):  Are there any ice cream bars in there?

Eric (as Boo):  Shut up, Devin. No—

Brandon (as Devin):  Okay.

Eric (as Boo):  There's no freezer in the special treat room.

Brandon (as Devin): Sorry. 

Eric (as Boo): You should know that Devin!

Brandon (as Devin) I'm so sorry, Boo. Please forgive me.

Eric (as Boo) It’s okay. I’ll haunt your dreams by taking my spirits out at throwing at you.  

Brandon:  I think Boo started a new religion.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Right? Hey Boo. Are you— are you talking about borrowing your mom’s–

Eric (as Boo): Scatter!

Eric:  And all the campers run away other than Boo. A few go through your legs, one jumps over you. using you as like—

Amanda: A vaulting—

Eric: As a vaulting mechanism. 

Julia: Yeah. Grab them Carrie-Ann, grab them. 

Amanda:  Carrie-Ann is too thunderstruck, she’s like–

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Camp-lore is evolving as I stand here. Amazing.

Eric (as Boo): Hey, Carrie-Ann, what’s up?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Are you threatening to borrow your mom's keys again and sneak into the kitchen and the treat room?

Eric (as Boo): No, I'm using my newfound powers of being able to separate my spirit from my body to do it.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  You know, I never want to crush a child's dreams, but like, it can be bad to tell other kids you know that—that they can do things that they can't do, you know?

Eric (as Boo): That's really interesting. I'm just trying to follow my dreams.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Because like of course, we want to do what we say, and say what we do, and be what we are and be what we say. So you know if you can't actually do that maybe just think about like not not saying that, you know? 

Brandon: Did Carrie-Ann get that motto wrong? 

Eric: No she did.

Amanda: She’s riffing baby.

Eric: No, she did it. She itarized that she itarized it on.

Julia:  Yeah, she's crushing it. 

Brandon: Yeah. 

Eric (as Boo): Okay, Carrie-Ann, I won’t. Don’t tell my mom that I’ve— I wanted to do that. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  But it's okay to have like thoughts and stories like that's fine. 

Eric (as Boo): Well, can I ask you something?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Uh, anything?

Eric (as Boo): Did Phoebe really separate my spirit from my body and that I saw it, because I definitely saw my whole body from outside of my body and Phoebe was holding me.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Phoebe would never do that. But Boo, as we get older, different things start happening to our bodies and different like thoughts, you know, start coming up and that's– that's probably totally okay. And like, you can go talk to you know, one of the nurses if you have any questions.

Brandon (as Les): You just had anxiety, buddy. 

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric: Is that dude, let's just walk up and say that?

Brandon: No. 

Eric: And be like–Sausage time. 

Julia:  Get that bacon. 

Amanda:  Think about a sausage patty that’s waffle ironed though. 

Julia:  Oh the crisp. 

Amanda:  I know, right?

Eric (as Boo): Okay, I’ll think about that. Thank you, Carrie-Ann

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Anytime, bud.

Eric (as Boo): Can you hold this for me? 

Eric: As he puts the watermelon rind in your hand. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Boo, where did you get these? 

Eric (as Boo) It’s a secret.

Eric: Boo runs away inside.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No. No. No. Secrets are bad. Secrets are bad at camp! No secrets at Camp!

Brandon: Boo just yells “Scatter!” and runs away by himself.

Eric (as Boo):  Scatter!

Eric:  And he runs again.  Hell yeah. Alright. So I mean, we haven't really talked about the timeframe of what's been happening in Camp. It's all kind of loose. Camp is generally like 8 weeks. I feel like we've been doing this for a little while. So I feel like we're firmly like two-thirds of our way through camp. What was everyone's favorite part of camp so far?

Julia:  Definitely not drowning in the Lake–

Eric:  Good one.

Julia:  Almost twice now. 

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon:  I don't think it as much as exciting this happens. So I think probably the plaster footprint. You know, it's probably pretty exciting.

Eric: Sure. Yeah. Well, that's fair.

Amanda:  I'm kind of torn between, like, finding out all the secrets behind the place that really makes me me and that I see the rest of my life being like, inextricably tied to and also ADZ, like, I caught him changing once and he had no shirt on and briefly. 

[Julia gasps]

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): And it was. It was pretty, pretty monumental.

Julia (as Phoebe): Carrie-Ann why didn't you tell us about this?

Brandon (as Les):  Was he hairy? 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Um, I didn't feel like it was my place to tell you about him, but it was sick, dude. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Oh, so cool.

Brandon (as Les):  Was he furry?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, no, no more than a regular— I don't know. That's —that was the first chest I saw, so I don't really know how to compare it.

Brandon (as Les):  Is it normal that he just has like fucking like dog wolf hair all over him? I don't know.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I wasn't really focusing on that. It was more like all of the skin that was normally not—not there before. I was pretty frozen, to be honest.

Brandon:  I know what you meant. But in my head, it was like normally he has no skin.

Julia:  [whispers] He’s a skeleton.

Eric:  I also want to emphasize after Brandon's great joke, that he does not have wolf fur all over his body.

Julia:  No, not a werewolf, bud.

Eric:  He’s got a rather regular to like— on the human scale of hairy, he’s a hirsute.

Brandon: Sure, Eric, sure. 

Julia: This man is not a werewolf.

Brandon: Sure, Julia, sure. 

Amanda:  Not a werewolf, just a guy.  

Julia:  How disappointed are you going to be when he's not a werewolf, that’s what I want to know. 

Brandon:  I mean, I'll throw my computer out the window, it’s fine.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: The only way to tell who's Les and who's Brandon, is one of them is 6’2.

Julia: Can confirm.

Eric: It’s the only way. Uh, my favorite part was Inter Camp. When Camp Diogenes fought the Wolf Hill Camp of Learning and Enrichment Center for Good and Upstanding Children.

Julia: I love that. 

Eric: Yeah.

Julia:  That was a fun time that didn't happen on Mic. 

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah. It was super dramatic when you all wanted the last second playing water basketball?

Julia:  Yeah. 

Amanda:  Oh.

Eric: Do you play? It's like basketball but in canoes and kayaks. 

Julia: Oh.

Brandon: Oh, that's fun.

Julia:  I like that. 

Eric:  Yeah. And it happened and you won at the last second and everyone cheered.

Julia:  Incredible. 

Amanda:  Hell, yeah dude.

Julia: It's— it's our teamwork that made the dream work.

Brandon:  Yeah, totally. It'd be like, soccer level of scoring, you know?

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Like two to one kind of thing.

Eric:  Oh, for sure. It's a low-scoring game, but it’s a beautiful game. [laughs]

Amanda: [laughs] In fact Eric, I think a low scoring makes it even more beautiful.

Eric:  That’s why it's beautiful. 

Julia: That’s true.

Brandon:  Yeah.

Eric: There's a lot of players on the field. The pitch? Is it still a pitch even if it’s in the water?

Brandon:  The Kings game is what they call it.

Julia: Yep. 

Eric: That's true. Because only kings could afford to have their horses go out into the water, maybe drown.

Julia: The horse is standing on a canoe.

Eric: Yeah. That’s why it’s the King’s game.

Julia: Makes sense. 

Eric: So it's about two-thirds of the way through the summer. And a lot of stuff has happened to all of you. Where are we at here? What do we-- what are we trying to do? How is everyone feeling? Is anyone motivated to go do some stuff? This isn't one of those episodes where we don't have a mystery. And I just want— I want you all to just vibe—

Julia: Cool.

Eric:  And feel what you want to feel.

Julia:  Well, Eric, today's a Tuesday, right? 

Eric: Oh, yeah, it’s Tuesday.

Julia: Which means the Springer's are doing meal prep over at the cafetorium?

Eric: Oh, yes.

Julia: And that's one of my side jobs.

Eric: Oh you work with Springer?

Julia: Yeah, that's why I have big knife, remember? 

Amanda: That’s right.

Eric: [laughs] That's why you brought your big kitchen knife from home. 

Julia: Yeah. 

Eric: So on Tuesdays, that is actually—that’s Springer's day off. So Springer does a ton of meal prep in the morning so that Springer can have the whole day like lunch and dinner are set, and lunch is usually eaten outside, it's kind of boxed lunch and all the cabins pick them up and then for dinner, it's kind of like a barbecue cookout. So someone else mans the grills while Springer is– is cool in their heels doing whatever it is that Springer does.

Julia: Hell yeah.

Brandon: They’re grilling waffles?

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric (as Springer): I don't know why you think that I only do waffles, it’s the only equipment I have with the Camp.

Brandon: I went like a ham—like a cheeseburger with a waffle bun. I also thought of for lunch, like a peanut butter and jelly and banana folded into a waffle. That's just delicious. 

Eric (as Springer): That sounds great. Do it on any day—- that's not Tuesday. 

Julia:  Let them live. 

Eric (as Springer): This isn't like one of those things where your teacher lives and works at the school. I have life, I play bocce, I have friends in town.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Go Springer.

Brandon (as Les): I don’t know why you’re shitting on the waffles now all of a sudden, Springer.

Eric (as Springer): Les, get out of here! I'm cleaning up!

Julia (as Phoebe):  Les, let Springer live, alright?

Brandon:  The Ghost of Les fades away.

Eric:  Why are you, why are you a ghost?

Brandon:  Because I wasn't actually Les. I was just Brandon questioning.

Eric: Listen. Every Brandon, every time you say something, you're in the scene now. So there you go.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon:  No, the difference is, well I do my low voice baby, and that’s how you’ll know.

Eric:  You can hear on mic that you're not 6’2.

Brandon:  I— I  Brandon I'm 6’3. That's the difference.

Eric: Oh, that's the big thing. Cool. So yeah, Pheebs, I guess you're— you're helping Springer box up the lunch. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Yep. 

Eric: What's up? What's up?

Julia (as Phoebe): I don’t know, I'm like chopping up some vegetables and stuff for the little box lunches, like little bite-sized carrot sticks and celery and that kind of stuff.

Brandon:  How's your julienne, looking good?

Julia:  Yeah, it looks pretty tight. I'm not gonna lie to you. 

Brandon: Nice. Nice. 

Julia: Phoebe's pretty good with the knife.

Eric:  Brandon, I don't want to be like super rude on microphone and I know that you have a lot to think about but like her name is Phoebe. That is like, you know, we've done a bunch of episodes so far, so yeah.

Julia: Wow.

Brandon: I'm so sorry. It's really, really upsetting. 

Eric (as Springer): You know Phoebe. Phoebe, I appreciate that you brought your own knife before and for the majority of the summer, I thought it was strange. But I'm glad we all justified it by you working in the cafetorium with me.

Julia (as Phoebe): I just really enjoy the kind of mindless task. It's very like meditative to like just cut up vegetables and stuff like that. So thank you for letting me do that, Springer.

Eric (as Springer): No problem. I find it meditative to leave camp for 24 hours, which is Tuesday my day off.

Julia (as Phoebe): Totally fair and I appreciate that for you. If–if you want, I could help finish up here and you can just go do whatever it is you do when you're not at camp.

Eric (as Springer): Good. Thank you for respecting my boundaries and not asking me. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Of course.

Eric (as Springer):  Unlike the ghost of Les who was here earlier.

Julia (as Phoebe): You're an adult and I shouldn't question what you do when you're not around children.

Eric (as Springer):  Thank you, I'm glad you know that now. I'll tell you. I gotta warm up my bocce arm. I got $200 riding on getting balls close to other balls.

Julia (as Phoebe): That's incredible. Can you teach me how to play bocce one of these days?

Eric (as Springer):  Well, maybe when you're old enough and we could go [laughs] We could not be here together. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Sounds good. I love it.

Eric (as Springer): All right. See you later. Deuces.

Julia (as Phoebe): Bye, Springer.

Eric (as Springer): Buh-bye.

Brandon: I don't know why but in my head, this isn't— this isn't canon, but in my headcanon, Springer goes off to like their second fun job they actually enjoy, which is like the fanciest of cocktail bars.

Julia:  Incredible mixologist Springer.

Amanda:  Like coffee sommelier, you know? 

Eric: Yeah.

Amand: I love that for them.

Brandon:  Same voice. Same voice.

Julia:  It's very jarring and like a setting like that.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric (as Springer) Let me just reach it. Let me just open up the cloche and you can see all the smoke coming out of your cocktail.

Julia (as Phoebe): Woah.

Eric:  Yeah, Phoebe you're in there. What do you—what's up? What do you want to do?

Julia:  So Eric, where does kind of Springer do all the prep for the lunch that they're not here for?

Eric:  Sure. I think that there is like a back kitchen. It's kind of like one long hallway into like this kind of just shunted to the back behind where all the campers can see. Like every once in a while when the— when the doors are thrown open for like, I don't know, some sort of buffet that happens only once every few weeks. Campers are very, very much want to get a secret peek inside of there, but it's really just like, I don't know, it's just like a really grimy kitchen, you know?

Julia: Nice. 

Eric: I'm sure everything was chrome and shiny at one point, but it's definitely not. There's lots of splatters and lots of stains everywhere. There are very high cabinets that people cannot reach without very large ladders which feels very upsetting. Springer tried to get everyone to say, “Yes, Chef” to them at one point but that didn't work. It's kind of— It's a lot like that. So it's just like a lot of bowls and plates and a very very extra large sink to throw as many bowls and stuff as possible. And there's also like three incredibly large washing machines which washes all the stuff. All like the plates–

Julia:  Very cool. 

Eric: –and stuff the campers use.

Julia:  I think what Phoebe is going to do is Phoebe's going to finish up the prep work. You said they were like box lunches, right? So Phoebe kind of like doles out the little boxes for the box lunches. And like put them on a tray to take outside, because I think everyone eats outside like they come and gather their box lunches outside of the kitchen, right? 

Eric: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All the counts are one of the responsibilities of the CIT’s and the counselors have to come pick up the big box that has the box. And Julia, just really quick, what's in the boxed lunch?

Julia:  It is like a little nut butter and banana sandwiches, with the crust cut off and in diagonals. And then the julienned vegetables as well as a little side of either blue cheese or ranch for people to dip their veggies into.

Amanda:  I’d fucked that up right now. 

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: That sounds good. 

Amanda: It’s adorable. 

Eric: Yep.

Brandon: Sounds delicious.

Julia:  Yeah, very, very simple stuff. Very easy to make for bulk for the campers.

Eric:  Yeah. So you can stack them up, they all just go and like big cardboard. I mean, like banker boxes, you know.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: So that the counselors can pick them up, and eat them wherever they want throughout camp.

Julia:  Great. And I think before Phoebe leaves the kitchen to bring those outside. She's going to rummage through the pantry real quick. And then grab like a big bulk pack of baking soda.

Amanda: Cool. 

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: Yeah. 

Julia: And then just put that in her backpack and then grab the boxes and then bring them outside.

Eric:  You're gonna make— you're gonna make a big thing of cupcakes later?

Julia: Yeah. 

Eric: Oh, cool. Great.

Brandon:  What? What? What? I am genuinely searching my brain for what you could be doing with baking soda.

Amanda:  I'm so excited. 

Julia:  Phoebe packed less books this morning in her little backpack to make sure there was room for that baking soda.

Brandon: That's a big deal. 

Eric:  Hell yeah.

Amanda:  It's hard for you.

Eric:  I love that.

Julia:  And so then Phoebe takes the box of boxed lunches outside and there's like probably like a big tree with some picnic tables or something right outside the kitchen.

Eric:  Yes, that's actually something I wanted to tell you about.

Julia: Okay.

Eric:  You know, they're in boxes. So you can like eat them in the cabin or eat them like if you want to go up on a hill or you want to go to like— you want your lunch to be like an activity for you and your campers. But the main place that people eat their box lunch is outside the cafetorium. There are a bunch of benches and it's underneath this giant tree that is outside of the cafetorium. It's been in here for generations, and he's only gotten bigger and bigger and bigger. What's really cool is that this is the kind of tree that only grows in this area of the camp. It's called the sovaĝa tree. It's a combination between an oak tree and kind of a willow tree in that it is very large and green and has very large leaves. But like a willow tree, it hangs down a little bit. So it creates the perfect amount of natural shade that you would ever imagine to be in a place where you're outside for the majority of time.

Julia:  That sounds beautiful. 

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: I want to sit under it with PB and J right now.

Julia:  So good.

Brandon:  PB and J waffle.

Eric:  So this one is the big— this one is by far the biggest one. And like on, you know, there was probably a map of camp somewhere. Or maybe it's like on a t-shirt, or it was in a brochure and stuff, next to the cafetorium, there's always a drawing of this big shady tree outside the cafetorium, and some little— like stick figure campers who are always just sitting there with like smiles on.

Julia:  Is this the kind of tree that like it's tradition to maybe carve your initials into at the end of summer or something like that?

Eric: I would not say in this one. I think it's a little more sacred than that.

Julia: Oh, okay.

Eric: Because it's funny you say that you want to carve stuff into it because the sovaĝa tree as being classified as the hardwood tree. Another reason why it's so great, is that you can't like pull branches or bark off of it, in that even if you wanted to carve something into it, you wouldn't be able to, because it is so hard and sturdy.

Julia: Cool. Interesting. I think Phoebe is going to drop off the box lunches onto the picnic table there, grab one for herself, and then walk around to the far side of the tree and kind of sit against the trunk and eat her little sandwich. And then after she's finished eating her little sandwich, she puts a hand on the bark of the tree and is like—

Julia (as Phoebe): Hey, tree. Uh–Good to see you. It's been a minute, we haven't hung out in a while. But I just wanted to say I could really use your help with something so I'm going to call upon my voice with the power of nature and if you could potentially give me a piece of you so that I can make camp safer, I would appreciate it. 

Julia:  And can I use my dark negotiator feat, a new feat that I've taken now?

Brandon: Oh.

Eric: New move. 

Julia: To basically I can roll to manipulate someone, but not just on a regular person but rather like a minion or a monster or in this case, a tree. 

Eric:  Yeah. Okay. Let's do this. I think that that's fine. I think this is a general extension. Because you did just take this as you being part of the monstrous thing and you as a magical creature and you're communing with Charles. Why don't you roll it and we'll see what happens?

Julia:  I'm rolling charm, correct?

Eric:  Roll plus Charm.

Julia: Okay.

[dice roll]

Julia: That is a 10. Oh, yeah, boy. 

Eric:  Straight rolled a 10?

Julia:  I rolled a 10.

Eric:  Oh my god. Okay. Yeah, you talk to the tree. And as you—

Julia: You’re like, yeah you talk to the tree, alright. 

Eric: Yeah you talk to the tree. I think that up in the tree, you see that there is a; there's a squirrel. And the squirrel is not a regular squirrel. It is dark black with a white streak running across its belly–

Julia (as Phoebe):  Hi. 

Eric:  And it has deep blue eyes, and it looks down at you, and then it bares his teeth.

Julia: Phoebe goes—  

Julia (as Phoebe):  You have beautiful eyes.

Eric:  And then he— And then he’d opens its mouth and quasi smiles at you. And you see just like sharp as a drill bit, are its front, two front teeth.

Julia (as Phoebe): Wow. And beautiful teeth. So nice, pearly white.

Eric:  And then it scurries into the tree and then you hear, bfffftttddddd

Julia (as Phoebe) Woah!

Eric: And I think at that point, you see a large shadow come over you as you're looking up at the tree. And you hear–

Eric (as Jennii):  Phoebe, are you talking to that tree? 

Eric: And you turn around and it is Jennii and Conway who are holding hands and looking at you.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Are you guys dating now?

Eric (as Jennii):  What? We're just holding hands at camp and now we're dating? I mean, the answer is yes–

Julia (as Phoebe):  Great.

Eric (as Jennii):  –but also weird that you made that assumption.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Mostly I just wanted to read the social cues that were happening here and make sure I got them right.

Eric (as Jennii):  Phoebe this was a thing for me to you, is that reading social cues? You don't read aloud social cues. It's like if you were reading a book and you keep it in your head. That’s just,  I want you to know that.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Sometimes it's fun to read out loud though. So other people can confirm that what you're reading is correct.

Eric:  Conway stops the foot twice and goes [blowing raspberry]

Julia (as Phoebe): Cool. uh —-

Eric: Horse jokes. Horse jokes. Horse jokes.

Amanda: [laughs] Oh Conway threw a shoe. We're gonna be late to swimming practice tonight. 

Eric: Conway's foot is very sensitive because their whole leg is actually like a fingernail. So, what do you think about it?

Julia (as Phoebe): Uh— Yes, I was talking to this tree because as you know, talking to plants helps them grow big and strong.

Eric:  And then you hear a [loud booming sound]  As a very large branch falls to the ground right to your right.

Julia:  Phoebe just grabs it and drags it away be like,

Julia (as Phoebe): I gotta go, later!

[Everyone laughs]

Eric:  And they, and they look up and they see the squirrel go [excited squirrel sounds]

Julia: And Phoebe waves like–

Julia (as Phoebe):  Thank you!

Eric:  Phoebe as you're dragging the branch away, you hear Jennii say--

Eric (as Jennii):  I don't like what's happening here. Things are getting a little too weird at Camp Diogenes.

Julia (as Phoebe): Your significant other is a water horse, so uh—

Julia: And then Phoebe runs away. 

Eric (as Jennii):  Just more of an excuse to braid their hair.

Brandon: [laughs]

Julia (as Phoebe): That’s true. I get that.

Eric (as Jennii):  Phoebe’s so weird.

[theme]

Eric: Hey, it's Eric. Usually, I begin these midrolls by saying something that's peaceful, or something fun to think about, which is kind of like a break in the action. So I'm going to use the thing that I find most nice and good and peaceful in the whole world that I've been doing the entire time. I've been doing Join the Party. Man, Amanda is the best. Welcome to the mid-roll. Think about how great Amanda is. Everyone just do it. See, that's why we're married. Oh, she's looking at me and she’s making, making a real face. She’s so nice. First and foremost, thank you to all of our newest patrons. We will thank you when we get back because Amanda and I just got married and we have to lay down for a second. But the party never stops in our Patreon only Discord. So you gotta come check it out. We're the best people on the internet. We promise. We did a poll. Everyone said so. For just $5 a month, you can join us and hang out, rave about the most recent episodes, post photos of your food, post photos of your pets, talk about games, talk about whatever. We're here for you. patreon.com/jointhepartypod. It is a wonderful day to check out one of the other shows here at the Multitude Podcasts Collective. I want to tell you about games and feelings. Games and feelings is an advice podcast about games. Join me, question keeper, Eric Silver, and a revolving cast of guests as we answer your questions at the intersection of fun and humanity. Since you know you got to play games with other people. And we're talking about all types of games, video games, tabletop games, party games, laser tag, escape rooms, game streams, Dungeon Dragons, podcasts, the companies or the workers who make these games, anything and everything that you can think of. How do you convince someone who's only played Monopoly to pick up that new board game that you grabbed at your local game store? Is an escape room a good third date? What makes a video game cozy? And do we have recommendations? We can answer these questions. If you like what you hear and want to level up your emotional intelligence stat. Subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts. Games and feelings, new episodes every other Friday. We are sponsored by Quest Friends!, a supernatural comedy actual play podcast by five best friends using a custom Powered By The Apocalypse system inspired by Owl House and Gravity Falls. This is the first time I'm hearing of this. This sounds freaking incredible. It features Necromon, who are ghostly Pokemon—It’s Pokemon?!  If you just pick Necromon, which are ghostly Pokemon that say their names backwards. Like a possess crab, like book with a taste for snails and a colossal fighting mushroom with big fists and a bigger heart. That sounds about right. 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And the Bone Witch can only help you as much because he only has Bone Witch powers, but your in, and then she's like, Oh, I have this friend who works in like fairy magic, and that will help and you're like, okay, cool. Do I have to give bones and they're like, no, no, just like your firstborn. You're like, okay, well, I guess that's not me. So I have to have a child first and then do it. Is that like would the copay, is you got to give the child and they're like, no, you can just promise your child, and then you do it. But then it turns out that your child doesn't just get taken. I don't know if it's trying to keep up appearances. But then you have this changeling in front of you, who's like your child, but like really weird, and is that better? Is that what you need to do, to deal with a weird baby fairy child in front of you when you can just use BetterHelp for therapy that feels better and an easier solution to solve your problems. When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. It's better H E L P.com/jointheparty. And now back to the show.

[theme]

Eric:  Hey, good roll, Ghoulia.

Julia:  Hey, thanks. 

Eric:  Hey, what's—what's going on with the— with—-with our good friends Carrie-Ann and Les?

Brandon:  What time is it? Eric?

Eric:  I don't know what time is it?

Brandon:  It's still pretty early morning, right? Like we haven't really started our daily activities yet?

Eric:  Yeah. I mean, if—I think.

Amanda:  Still lunch prep, probably what; like 10:30 or something? 

Eric: Yeah. Yeah.Yeah.  

Amanda: People can grab their sammies and go. 

Eric: Yeah. Okay. 

Brandon: Well, it's Tuesday. 

Eric: Yeah. 

Brandon: And I think Les know— 

Amanda: Did we all know it was Tuesday before the recording, no one told me it was a Tuesday. Was I supposed to have a Tuesday activity ready?

Brandon:  And I think Les, unknowingly has sort of memorized Phoebe's sort of daily weekly schedule. 

Julia: Interesting.

Brandon: So I think Les knows that it's Tuesday, so Phoebe is probably in the cafetorium. So he's gonna— he's gonna head that way.

Eric:  Yeah, sure. Hey, how do you know that um—Where Phoebe is at all times? Are you like writing it down? Are you just like committed to memory or you think about it when you go to sleep?

Brandon:  You know, Eric, he's like, 14. 

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon:  These questions are the questions of a 14-year-old. And there are no answers.

Eric:  So it's the late— the final one. You replayed it in your head when you go to sleep. 

Julia: Wow. 

Brandon: Yeah. 

Eric: Sure. Yeah dude, you— are you trying to? What are you trying to do? How are you doing it?

Brandon:  I think Les is like walking across the field to the, to the cafetorium area.

Eric:  Are you sprinting to die? Are you sprinting as fast as possible or are you just like slowly loping?

Julia:  Those are the only two options.

Brandon: I think like slowly loping because he's sort of like, in his head and sort of like, repeating back, like mumbling to himself as he walks across the field.

Eric:  Yeah. What are you mu— What are you mumbling? What did he say? 

Brandon:  Well I think, maybe he shows up, he gets there and sees Phoebe with an entire fucking tree branch.

Eric:  Phoebe’s draggin the branch, that's very funny. Yeah, you hear Jennii talking to Conway and you hear Jennii say. 

Eric (as Jennii): Camp Diogenes is getting so weird. And I don't know what is going on with Phoebe. Some of this— this place is getting a little too strange.

Brandon:  And Les feels that deep into his bones. And I think Les is gonna sort of call out to Phoebe. Actually, I think Les is gonna stop in his tracks and be like–

Brandon (as Les):  What the fuck Phoebe. 

Brandon:  He’s gonna be like–

Brandon (as Les): Uh, Phoebe did you? Did you cut that down?

Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, Les. Hi. Uh– no, a squirrel gave it to me. 

Brandon (as Les): Cool. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Mhm. 

Brandon (as Les): Um.

Julia (as Phoebe): What's up?

Brandon (as Les):  I just wanted to um, come bring you, uh this book back, that you lent me. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Did you read it?

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, it was the umm. The roman—the Bigfoot romance book. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. I thought it was really good, umm.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Really?! 

Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I really liked it. I liked how they, they found Bigfoot and then—

Julia (as Phoebe):  And then Bigfoot married them at the end. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. And—

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  Along the journey, they realized that they were in love with each other. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  And I especially liked it when Bigfoot didn't rip their heads off.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Right. Yeah. No, Bigfoot was like really nice. Bigfoot like gave a really nice speech at the end and like, got ordained and everything, which I think is really like sweet of Bigfoot. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. Who would’ve know that Bigfoot was Jewish, but—

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  Here we go.

Eric:  Well, Brandon, thank you for remembering that all my NPCs are Jewish.

Julia:  They’re all Jewish.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, I well– so I actually wanted to like uh— so umm. Hmm. Hmm. We saw that, right? like hmm. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah, like Bigfoot, like fully devouring a bunch of fairies? Yeah, that did happen. I think.

Brandon (as Les):  Now, we're all of those things robots?

Julia (as Phoebe):  No. I, I would honestly say 99% of them probably weren't robots. 

Brandon (as Les):  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Eric: The blood was glittery if you remember correctly.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah. I'm like, typically like oil and stuff. Because like robots are made of oil, right? That's not glittery, usually.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, robots are made of solidified oil is what I've learned in shop class.

Julia (as Phoebe):  No, I mean, like their blood is usually oil. 

Brandon (as Les):  Oh, right. Yeah. Okay.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  Well, I think, what I learned in shop class was wrong then.

Julia (as Phoebe):  You should talk to your shop class teacher because that doesn't sound right.

Brandon (as Les):  Remember in the 1970s when they let children play with what's taught in school?

Julia (as Phoebe):  I don't know if that's 20 years before our time or 20 years after our time.

[Everyone laughs]

Julia: That’s my favorite joke in this campaign. 

Eric:  Good shit, good shit.

Brandon (as Les):  So like, can I like So like umm. Can I like uhh. Can I just talk at you for a second? I'm a little like uh — Yeah, can I— is, would you mind?

Julia (as Phoebe):  I'm like a really good listener–

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  –because I don't like talking a lot.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah.

Julia (as Phoebe):  So yeah. Talk away.

Brandon (as Les):  Okay, well like—-

Julia: Phoebe puts down the big branch.

Julia (as Phoebe): It’s getting heavy. 

[loud thump sound]

Brandon (as Les):  So like, like, I came to this camp, and uhh— I really like you're wanted these weird things to be—to be real. And then uhh things have been happening. I, you know, I'm, I'm not sure. I got this plaster at bigfoot's foot but like, then everything was a robot. And then we met that guy, the Puzzle Cleric, and he's excited about this being like a monster training camp thing. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Hmm.

Brandon (as Les): And then— uhh. And then ADZ has like sharp teeth, and I'm pretty sure if you; if you took off fish off his shirt, he would be furry with like wolf fur. 

Julia (as Phoebe): No, Carrie-Ann— Carrie-Ann said that--

Brandon (as Les): I can’t confirm that but—

Julia (as Phoebe): Carrie-Ann said that, when she saw him shirtless, it was just like normal man hair.

Brandon (as Les): She saw him shirtless?!

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah. 

Brandon (as Les):  Whoa. Like intent, like— did he know? [laughs]

Julia (as Phoebe): [laughs] I think it was like an accident. But she did get a good look.

Brandon (as Les):  Dang.

Eric:  Do we cut; we cut the Carrie-Ann, and Carrie-Ann, was this a Porkies situation that you were looking through a hole in a wall? Or did you stumble in?

Amanda: I think I needed to return something to his cabin or like caught him walking out of the showers, like as he was like, pulling the shirt over his head. Like time slowed down, and every frame is burned into my brain forever.

Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I mean, I get it. Like, you know, we did a workout once. And yeah and like—

Julia (as Phoebe):  So has everyone seen ADZ  shirtless but me?

Brandon (as Les):  Probably, yeah. I mean, it was just you know, like, occasionally we do like a morning workouts, because like he's my trainer sometimes you know. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Oh. That’s cool.

Brandon (as Les):  It's, it's pretty nice. We–you know, we've been building a relationship; a rapport relationship, but still he— like, has like sharp teeth and umm; could be fur, I don't know. And then I don't think I told you this, but, I saw Director Löw, like, walk into a rock face and then disappear behind it.

Julia (as Phoebe):  What?!

Brandon (as Les):  And then like, I saw Mavis Beacon who teaches typing, like build robots. And like, I'm pretty sure that whatever those fairy robot things, I—they can't be real. So I'm just gonna assume that they're robots. But like somehow they also controlled Mavis’ brain waves and Mavis built at least the other things. I don't really know, it's umm. See, this is the problem, is like—I didn't really even think that magic was actually real, or like weird shit was real like aliens are definitely real. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.

Brandon (as Les):  We probably haven't been visited them but like, everything else was like, come on. And like uhh. And so I'm kind of confused now, and like, I don't know if this is a camp to like, train us, to hunt monsters or are we the monsters or is this some kind of a big test thing, I'm not sure. And like— I came to you because like, I don't know if Carrie-Ann is taking this part of camp seriously. We all know Carrie-Ann’s taking the rest of the camp seriously. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah. Carrie-Ann takes camp seriously. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, we're like really cares, only cares about getting Director Löw’s job which, like, more power to her, like, I want that too–

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les): –but like–

Julia (as Phoebe):  I don't know if anyone's ever thought of this phrase before, but Carrie-Ann is like a girl boss.

Brandon (as Les):  Yes. Yes. That makes total sense. I love that. That's perfect. We should tell everyone about that. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah. 

Brandon (as Les):  Maybe make some shirts or hats.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Cool. 

Brandon (as Les):  But like, so I wonder—

Amanda: Carrie-Ann’s crying without knowing why.

Brandon (as Les): But like, so I wanted to come to you. Because like, so I gotta— I gotta ask like, are you something weird? Not that— I don't mean like you're weird or anything, like, I don't think you're weird. I think you're actually super cool and like fun to hang out with. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Thanks.

Brandon (as Les): But like, honestly, I'm a little; little scary, you know?

Julia (as Phoebe): Uhh. So I mean— I don’t, we're definitely not the monsters in like, the scenarios that you laid out. It's not like we're monsters or anything like that, that would be silly. And like, too on the nose. Umm.

Brandon(as Les): How would like; how would we know if we’re the monsters? Because do monsters know that they are monsters? Do they call themself monster? Do they have another name for what they are?

Julia (as Phoebe):  I mean, I don't know. And like, the fact that we don't know is probably like a good thing. 

Brandon(as Les): Yeah.

Julia (as Phoebe): You know?

Brandon (as Les):  Hmm.

Julia(as Phoebe): Because like, if we did know, then we would know all the secrets. And then if we knew all the secrets, then all of this would not be so confusing. And there's like, there's something to be said about life being confusing sometimes, you know.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Where we don't have to have all the answers in order to enjoy the summer.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, yeah. I don't really understand that. But I understand it intellectually. I’m gonna meditate on it.

Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. Great. Yeah. I mean, I know like, I know, like, a lot of weird stuff has happened this summer, comparative to every other summer we've spent here. But maybe that's just like, what growing up is?

Brandon (as Les):  Maybe, but also like umm. But also; also, you healed some people. And he pulled a little boy’s soul out of his little boy body.

Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, I did do that Les, that did happen.

Brandon(as Les): And like; I don't mean to like. This isn't me like critiquing or anything, but  you do talk to someone or something often that I can't see or hear.

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah, I mean, like, Les, you freaked out over a bunch of fairies getting eaten by Bigfoot? I don't know. I don't know how I feel about like telling you, yeah, I can heal people, and there's a moose god in the forest that talks to me sometimes.

Brandon (as Les): Okay, that's fair. You know, that's also sort of-- [clears throat] Also sort of why I wanted to, to come talk to you because like, I— [sigh]  I'm sorry about all that. I feel like I've been like weird to you and rude, and umm, it was—- it was my own stuff. Like I— I'm just trying to figure it all out and like, there's nothing wrong or weird with you. Umm. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Thanks, because the morning announcements did say otherwise, and that wasn't cool.

Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I heard that. Do you want me to talk to Bones?

Julia (as Phoebe): I mean—-no, I feel like that'll just make it weirder.

Brandon (as Les): Maybe you can put something in the suggestion box and just have him like–

Julia (as Phoebe): But he like reads those and then he says the opposite. So. That's not cool.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, well—

Julia (as Phoebe):  I—

Brandon (as Les):  Go ahead. Sorry.

Julia (as Phoebe):  No; uhh. Thank you for—for saying that. Because it means a lot and you know, when I'm at camp I get to be something that I don't get to be at home and it's nice to–

Brandon (as Les):  Oh yeah.  

Julia (as Phoebe): –not feel like that. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. That makes sense. I haven't thought about it that way. Yeah. Umm.

[crows calling in the background]

Brandon (as Les):  Although, you know, I'm, you know. For what it's worth, I'm sure you're pretty cool back home too, umm. 

Julia (as Phoebe): I did almost make the cheerleading squad. So like that was—-

Brandon (as Les): Oh, nice. 

Julia (as Phoebe): It's pretty cool. 

Brandon (as Les): That's awesome. 

Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah. The one girl fell when I tried to hold her. But I'm pretty sure that wasn't my fault.

Eric:  Cut to the girls' locker room at Phoebe's Middle School, where 6 girls are all saying–

Eric (as Amanda M.):  So this is all just a joke, right? Like we're in Phoeb– no matter how Phoebe does, she's not getting on the squad. 

Eric: And you can see Phoebe in the gym like through the open door. Like practicing jumps.

Amanda: [crying voice] Nooooo.

Julia: Cut to Julia for crying for some reason. Weird, huh.

Eric:  I’m just imagining Phoebe, in the same thing she's wearing at camp, but just maybe jeans like holding pom poms and going–

Julia:  Yeah. 

Eric (as Phoebe):  Alright so I guess this is like a Y.

Julia(as Phoebe): Give me a Y. Give me an M. Give me a C. Give me an A. What's that spell? 

Julia(as Phoebe) and Brandon(as Les): Ymca.

All: [laughs]

Julia: Goddamit Brandon. 

Eric (as Amanda M.):  Yeah she's not, no, we're on the same page, don’t worry. 

Amanda (as Melissa R.):  We're gonna be like really nice about it right? Because we're not bitches.

Eric (as Amanda M.):  No. We're gonna be nice and she's not going to know until like on the bus later.

Amanda (as Melissa R.):  Exactly. 

Eric (as Amanda M.):  Yeah. Exactly.

Julia: It's weird, there was a bus crash later that day.

Eric (as Amanda M.):  I'll see you later on the bus, Melissa R.

All: [laughs]

Amanda (as Melissa R.):  I’ll see you later Amanda M. 

Amanda:  Why did I use my own name after I called that girl a bitch?

[everyone laughs]

Eric:  I even set you up to say a different Melissa.

Amanda (as Melissa R.):  See you, later, Melissa B.

Eric: They’re all named Melissa.

Julia: They are.

Brandon:  Incredible. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les): Well umm— my umm; my— my therapist has told me that you can't just apologize. Like you do have to show, like action is important. So like, I would love to you know, work on that umm, and sort of, you know, show you that, I— yeah, I don't. I—I'm sorry, and I don't mean, I don't mean to make you feel different or other so like umm.  Yeah, but that will take some time. But in the meantime, did you-—you made these—- you made these carrot sticks?

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yeah, yeah. I— I've been practicing a lot at home about with like my julienne and—

Brandon (as Les): Dang.

Julia (as Phoebe):  And the other knife skills that I can't name right now. Mincing—

Amanda: Brunoise.

Julia (as Phoebe):  I don't know that one yet.

Brandon (as Les): That's— that’s dope though. Umm. Can you show me how you do that?

Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, yeah. I have to—I have to go take care of a thing related to periods right now. But when I get back I can show you because—-

Brandon (as Les): Oh is that what the tree branches for?!

Julia (as Phoebe):  Yes. 

Brandon (as Les): Oh, okay. I get it now.

Julia (as Phoebe): But when I'm done, Springer lets me use the kitchen. So I could, I could show you some like cool; cool knife technique stuff and like how to—- how to debone a chicken.

Brandon(as Les): Oh, yeah, that'd be—- that'd be sick. 

Julia (as Phoebe):  Cool.

Brandon (as Les):  Cool.

Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.

Eric:  I've now realized in that Les thing, so that's the case because probably in your crunchy family, the menstruating people probably use a branch for something.

Amanda and Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: Natural. Right.

Eric: Like [laughs] That's a real good character work I fucking love that. [laughs]

Amanda:  People make you know, bark, you know, infusions and tinctures for easing cramps and stuff. That's the thing. 

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: Les. Les. If there's one thing as your sisters and your mom, all look at you at the same time. There’s one thing to know—

Julia: More or Les? 

Eric: Yeah, More and your mom. If there's one thing to know, is that if a woman is starting to set up a lean too, you leave her alone and leave some chocolates.

Amanda: [laughs] Yeah.

Brandon(as Les): Umm yeah, so Les is gonna walk away. At some point, he would like to also try to figure out what the fuck is going on with that Director Löw cliff face thing.

Eric:  Yeah, for sure. Hey, what's— what's Carrie– what's our good friend Carrie-Ann up to?

Amanda: Yeah, Carrie-Ann this morning went for her waffle, yelled at Springer umm, about how good Phoebe is. Just yelling in everyone's direction about how good Phoebe is. 

Eric:  You got really hyped up about Bones this morning. You got a really good jog.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. She’s my best friend!

Julia: Best friends!

Amanda: And she's gonna like write on a couple different napkins and also a waffle and put it in the suggestion box that say you owe Phoebe an apology and then underline it many times. It does look pretty deranged.

Julia:  Did you cut out little like magazine clippings so that they didn’t recognize--

Amanda: I did yeah for visual interest! Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.

Julia: Yeah. 

Amanda: Umm. And why?

Brandon:  How did you— wait, no. How did you write on the waffle? Was it with chocolate chips? Was it with syrup? With a pen?

Amanda:  Brandon, Brandon, with a sharpie. With a Sharpie bud, you're overthinking. Sharpie to a waffle. Sharpie can write on anything. 

Brandon: That's true.

Julia:  [sing-songy voice] When Sharpies on a waffle, you can eat Sharpie anytime.

Amanda: Exactly. Exactly right.

Eric:  [sing-songy voice] You can send letters anytime.

Amanda:  And then she is going to drop by the main office and see if the director is in.

Eric:  Yeah, I think it's as we've established, it's Tuesday at 10:35. So I think the director is definitely in her office.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, hey, Director Löw. How's—how's it going? Good morning. Hello. I waited; see, I got up early and I wanted to come meet with you early, and I waited until you were in your office.

Eric (as Director Löw):  You’re right. Uhh you’re right Carrie-Ann, you respected the rules that were set out for you. Hello, how are you doing? Wonderful day here at camp.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Everyday at camp is a wonderful day, as you already know, but today's a particularly wonderful kind. 

Eric (as Director Löw):  Hmm.

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann):  Um, I—-

Eric (as Director Löw):  Did you—Hey, did you shove a waffle in the suggestion box? 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I—I mean it fit in the slot, so I didn’t shove–

Brandon:  I thought it was a toaster.

Julia: It’s a good point. Good point.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I don’t know, but I thought it would give Bones, uhh John Bones a little more, just like, little snack, a little interest when he's going through his suggestion box later.

Eric (as Director Löw):  I don't know who that is. Carrie-Ann, what—-what do you want?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): The guy does the announcements everyday.

Eric (as Director Löw):  Okay. Alright, Carrie-Ann, why—- 

Julia: Oh God! No. No!

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Is someone speaking into the loudspeaker? Don't you hear them every morning? 

Eric (as Director Low): I—- I  don't know. Carrie-Ann, what—what is it? What do you need?

Brandon: Holy shit.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I mean, I need to borrow your keys. I need to go into the storage space under uhh into the gym, I just need to take care of something.

Eric (as Director Low):  Carrie-Ann, these aren’t. I can’t just—-

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I-I’ll be super fast. I’ll knock it over the back and lock up later.

Eric: Umm… Okay, I'm gonna need you to manipulate someone, because they have the— the director would not give these to you, just—just because—

Amanda: Sure.

Brandon:  Does the director have the keys?

Julia:  She’s the keys. She's missing the whistle.

[dice roll]

Brandon:  The whistle. Thank you. 

Eric:  Remember the director has all her stuff on a big lanyard that she keeps around her neck at all times.

Amanda:  I'm marking experience.

Eric: Oh no!

Amanda: Because I did roll a 2.

Julia: Oh no.

Eric: You roll a 2?!

Amanda: Uh-huh.

Eric: What is your Charm?

Amanda:  Well, Eric, it's 0.

Eric:  Oh, baby. You roll—you rolled snake eyes?!

Amanda:  I rolled snake eyes.

Julia: Damn.

Eric:  You rolled the devil's eyes?!

Amanda: I rolled the devil's butt cheeks? I did.

Julia:  That really should be 6-6 should be the devil's butt cheeks. 

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric: That’s true. We should just switch them.

Julia: Damn.  

Eric: On a miss, your approach is completely wrong. You offend or anger the target.

Julia:  Oh, no.

Eric:  I think the director says.

Eric (as Director Löw):  Carrie-Ann, I'm not just gonna let you. These are my keys. It has all my important stuff on it. I can't. I can't let you have– I can't let you have them and run– run away with them. Like, what if I? I can't just loan. I can't loan my keys to a camper. I'm sorry. 

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann): Oh, what if you like, lose maybe something important when you're loaning the keys to someone? Do you ever loan the keys to someone? Because I just– that's interesting.

Eric (as Director Löw):  No, I never loaned my keys. They’re on; it's on my lanyard on my neck for a reason. And it has all my important stuff on it. Look, it has the—--this the key to the front gate of camp, this is the key to the special reward shop, which Boo is always trying to steal from me. 

Amanda  (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.

Eric (as Director Löw):  And of course, it has the whistle. The—Carrie-Ann, the whistle of that keeps camp safe.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): How do you– by the way? Do we like, does anyone else have one? Like how do we earn one? Is that like a reward? How do I get it?

Eric (as Director Löw):  Carrie, It's not a– Carrie, we went over this during staff week. This is the whistle that was passed down from the directors that keeps the camp safe from Steven. There's only one and it's very important.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, I was umm. I was trying to avoid embarrassing you or me. But umm... Steven talked to me when I was in the woods the other day. And I was trying to make him stop. And he told me that you were going to lie to me about whether or not you had the real whistle. And I was like, no, she wouldn't ever lie to me. And so I was gonna take it and like just go and look around and make sure that it was, but umm... I just, I didn't want you to think that I would think that you were not telling me the truth. But then I thought well, if I say something then, then Steven will like will know that I believe him and part of what he's saying. But I'm saying and not because I think he was right. But because it's, I want you to know that he was trying to lie, and like manipulate me and get me to like, do something wrong. And I will never do anything wrong. I just want to protect camp.

Eric (as Director Löw):  [heavy sigh] Carrie-Ann, I told you never, ever, ever talked to Steven. Of course, he's trying to manipulate you. He's a trickster creature! But if you talk to him, it's all, it's only lies. Every single thing he says is a lie. 

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah. 

Eric (as Director Löw):  Do not talk to him!

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann):  And I didn't believe him. But he was being really believable. So like, you don't have to tell me about it.

Eric (as Director Löw):  [angry voice] Of course he’s believable, of course, he’s belie— Carrie- Ann, when I tell you to do something, is not like—- you don't need to like figure it out later. I need you to believe me that what I say is right. So you don't need to go experiment for yourself. If I say hey, Carrie-Ann, you're not ready to drive. You don't get to like go behind the wheel of a car and like do the 80 on the highway to figure out if I'm telling the truth or not. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, but he say—-

Eric (as Director Löw):  [shouts] Carrie-Ann, I'm the adult and you are the CIT and I need you to never talk to Steven ever!

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [on a low voice] Okay. I have been practicing driving golf carts because I knew it would be—-

Eric (as Director Löw):  [shouts] Carrie-Ann!

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): A necessary—-

Eric (as Director Löw):  [shouts] Carrie-Ann! Carrie-Ann! Carrie-Ann! This is not a conversation. You betrayed my trust. You talk to Steven, this the second time it's happened this summer, which is more than I can say of anyone else I interact with the camp, and I don't and, Boo is acting very strange and it feels like that's part of your doing, somehow.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, 'cause he kind of told me that he gets his watermelons from Steven. So um, if I were you, I would just like look at that or something.

Eric (as Director Löw):  Well, I know he doesn't because he listens to what I tell him to do, unlike you.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): He has never listened to a single instruction I've ever given him, okay? I'm trying my best. I'm just telling you this. If this is the thing that you say stands between Steven and camp and Steven getting into camp and messing it all up. I thought it was important. I guess I was wrong!

Eric (as Director Löw):  Yes Carrie-Ann, you're wrong. I know this. I'm the director of Camp. I know.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Fine. 

Eric (as Director Löw):  Carrie-Ann, I really need you to leave my office right now.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I'm taking the day off and you can't stop me because I don't get paid.

Brandon: [laughs] Power move. Girl boss.

Julia:  Wow. Girl boss.

Brandon: Girl boss.

Eric (as Director Löw):  Fine.Carrie—- Go. Carrie-Ann, go. 

Amanda: Carrie-Ann is gonna cry. And she turns around and storms off past the cafetorium, grabbing a lunchbox so she goes and she is going to walk out to the watering hole and sit on the very top of the slide with her legs dangling over the slide part looking over camp thinking about some stuff.

Eric:  You drop a slice of carrot and it rolls down the slide. Does a big loop de loop and drops in the water.

Brandon:  Does anything come up from the water to eat it?

Eric:  Well, it's not there and Carrie-Ann leaves.

[gasps]

Eric: It was a bird, a bird got it? It was a seagull.

Julia:  Oh, that’s cool bird.

Eric: It was that one singular cool bird, the one that goes ca-caw! Hell yes. Okay. What, uh, what was out; what’s up, friends?

Brandon:  I think after Les leaves Phoebe and sort of thinks about everything and has his lunch and does a quick, you know jog around the track and stuff. He's gonna try to search out Carrie-Ann, who is either at the watering hole or back in the cabin at this point.

Eric: You may even be at the watering hole. I like the scenic outlook being with terrible giant slide.

Brandon:  Okay, cool. Yeah, I think, he would go to the waterhole to rinse off after taking the jog, and so he sees Carrie-Ann and he's like– 

Brandon (as Les):  Hey, hey, cous.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I don’t want to talk to anyone.

Brandon (as Les):  Oh, you okay? 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  No. 

Brandon (as Les):  What's go– what's going on? Do I need to come up there? 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  No, I don't think it’s structurally sound.

Julia:  That’s true.

Brandon: That's true.

Eric:  There's a sign, there’s definitely, I don't know why I never thought of this. There is a guy; like you know, one of those like signs that are a person holding—

Julia: Like you must be this tall. 

Eric: You must be this tall. There's also another thing that says, also don't have two people on it at the same time. It's dangerous. It's like the creature from the Black Lagoon for some reason it’s, is figuring out how tall you are and he’s holding multiple signs.  

Brandon:  Love it.

Amanda: Carrie-Ann gonna sniffle as she climbs back down the ladder.

Brandon (as Les): What– what’s going on? 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [sniffles] Umm.

Brandon (as Les):  If you want— if you want talk about it, if you want talk about it we can just like, play game or something, you know?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, it's important for my character journey that we talk about, and I, I was trying to tell the Director about what Steven had said to me about is; about maybe her whistle wasn't the real whistle. And I just, I told her that in case it wasn't, and then she yelled at me. 

Brandon (as Les) What?!

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, she's never yelled at me before. And it was, she says, she's an adult, so I’m a kid who doesn't know what I'm talking about. Then she told me I had to go, and I said I'm taking the day off. But I don't. I don't want to have the day off. Bones said this morning we're 2/3 of the way through camp and I messed it all up. And at this rate, I'll never be director!

Brandon (as Les): Man. I'm sorry. That sounds like it was rough. And also, I don't— sounds like the director was mean for no reason.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, and listen, I know I'm; I know, I'm intense. But if she doesn’t like it then who—-

Brandon (as Les): No!

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Then who will? 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, it sounds like you had a legitimate concern that you were bringing up about the safety of camping.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les): She didn’t listen to you.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm not like, Oh, give me only blue popsicles because they're the best and then it makes your tongue blue. And that's pretty cool. I didn't say that.

Eric:  Cut to Dougie Juice, walking up be like;

Eric (as Dougie Juice):  I only eat blue popsicles. Everyone knows that. My dad called and said, I'm allergic to everything except for it not blue popsicles.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I didn't say like, every time you meet me, babysit your kid, which I don't even know if that's part of my job, Then uhh– then he runs away like almost dies. I didn't say that. I didn't say any of that stuff. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I  said, there's a thing that happened and it might be dangerous.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, no— I; yeah, it's awesome. Like, it's super unfair that she puts the Boo, babysit on you. That's not part of your job. And like, yeah, there's a handful.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Look, I want to impress her. I want her to love me.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. Man. Wait, love you?!

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah. Like; like a boss loves their employee.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, I get it. Yeah, well, I don't think you have—- you have to take the day off if you want to. First of all, but second of all, like Yeah, that sounds like maybe she was having a rough morning or a rough week or something and took it out on you for no reason. Like that doesn't, I don't think you did anything wrong.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Thanks. I know I lied to a bunch of campers and said we weren't cousins, but I take it back. You're a good cousin.

Julia: Oh, no.

Brandon (as Les):   That's cool, man. Like, what are cousins anyway? Except for like, you know? Friends.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Like, bunk mates but like on a family tree? 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, exactly. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Anyway, sorry. I talked a lot about me—- are you okay? What are you doing out here?

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, no. Umm. Well, first of all, thank you for sharing with me. I appreciate that. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  Best friends, but no I feel kind of guilty now, I want to come well, it's gonna take a swim in the watering hole real quick, but I also was trying to find you because I was gonna ask you for advice and but umm. Yeah. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, nothing makes me feel better than telling people what to do. What?

Eric: At that moment you see a seagull dive and grab Carrie-Ann’s carrot.

Brandon (as Les):  Wow, it was a majestic seagull huh? 

[seagull sound] [coughs]

Brandon: Got a cigarette in his mouth.

Julia: How does it fly and smoke at the same time?

Amanda: Skills.

[seagull sound]

Amanda: It will like, do the thing where it holds it and talks out of the corner of its mouth.

Julia:  Incredible. 

Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I mean, so I went and talked to Phoebe this morning about everything. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Oh.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, I apologized. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Woah.

Brandon (as Les):  Because you I know you've been too nice to say it, but I've been like a real jerk to Phoebe. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah…

Brandon (as Les):  Because I've been; yeah, it's just cause,  I've been like scared you know about everything that is happening.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  To like your body or?

Julia: Jesus Christ.

Brandon(as Les): No. Well, it's scary to get this ripped, you know. 

Brandon:  And then—-

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Sure.

Brandon:  Les—

Eric:  [shouts] BOOOOOO!!

Brandon: And then Les shows his guns.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Les, we’re cousins, that’s gross. 

Brandon (as Les): [laughs]  That was a—that was a little jape. 

Eric:  From across camp Brenda goes–

Eric (as Brenda):  [in a faraway voice] Oh my God it’s happening.

Brandon (as Les):  This actually, ADZ has been helping me with my workout routine so yeah. But uhh. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  That's great. 

Brandon (as Les):  Anyway.

Amanda:  Carrie-Ann inside her mind is like, I should devise a workout routine and get closer to more staff members in camp. Great. Yes. 

Julia:  Damn.

Brandon (as Les):  Carrie-Ann. Carrie-Ann, you went glassy eyed there. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Oh yeah. No. It was great, great. Sorry. I just—yeah, I haven't very present for you guys because of my whole thing but yes, yeah, okay, yes, you. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, I just wondering if you had any ideas to like, what I could do to show Phoebe that I think she's cool and like fun to hang out with and like, like, not weird. And really like, you know, show—show her that I'm sorry, and everything's good. And like, I think the things that make her different are cool, unique you know, not like what fucking Bones said on the fucking announcement today, you know?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. No, that was terrible. I sent so many suggestions, one of which was a waffle. I think that's what started us off on a wrong foot. I knew I probably shouldn’t do it, but anyway it's pretty nice.

Brandon (as Les):  Hey, Carrie-Ann. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah?

Brandon (as Les):  I'm so fucking proud of you. That's fucking good. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Oh thanks man. Maybe this is my next era; is breaking rules. I’m just gonna say, I’m thinking about it. 

Brandon(as Les): You gotta break rules to figure out which ones are the good ones, you know? 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Wow. Yeah.

Brandon (as Les): Yeah.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  No, okay. Umm. 

Eric: Carrie—Carrie-Ann takes her playbook, the initiate, out of her pocket and rips it up.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah, no. So, like you just—-you want to apologize to your colleague and best friend, right. Like that's the—that's like what you're going for?

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, like also maybe spend some time with Phoebe, you know?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Because you've been kind of ignoring her. And that puts our like a triumvirate, like three legged stool type thing kind of imbalanced, because it's important that the three of us remain best friends and no one is more best friend to each other than with the other person, right?

Brandon (as Les):  Right. Exactly. So I gotta make up for time, you know?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.

Brandon: Julia over here trying to say something.

Julia: I’m like fully blushing.

[everybody laughs]

Julia: I don’t know why I’m just like. Wow. Oh, my gosh.

Eric (as Phoebe):  Oh my God, Les wants to spend time with me. Oh my god. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah, no, I mean, listen, I think what's—what's the thing that made you uncomfortable before? It was Phoebe, you know,  doing her nature thing, right?

Brandon (as Les):  Well, yeah, I mean, it wasn't really—- see that's the thing like it wasn't actually, I was just like, projecting onto Phoebe, because Phoebe had like that, the sort of like thing. I mean, you know, like the scar on your shoulder.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  Like, you know, my leg.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  My like tattoo. Yeah 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah tattoo. Which if I haven’t told you, by the way. Fucking cool as hell.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I think so too. Umm.

Brandon (as Les): Umm. But yeah, like I was—-I was just projecting. Because, like, you know, I got here thinking that, like, aliens were probably real, but like, it'd be dope if other things were real, but then things actually became real, and that's kind of scary, and I'm not sure, I wasn't sure if I could handle that. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  And like, Phoebe was lumped into that. But that's not fair. Because Phoebe's not like the same thing as like, yeah–

Brandon:  Brandon pulls up his notes. 

Eric:  A Bigfoot with incisors.

Brandon (as Les):  Phoebe is like not the same thing as you know, Mary Celeste or you know, the Battle of Los Angeles or whatever. The me—- you know, the meowing nuns?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  No.

Brandon(as Les): Okay. Well, the point is, the metaphor is like, that's not like, like, those are actual weird things that don't make any sense. But Phoebe makes a lot of sense, you know?

Eric:  We cut forward 30 minutes after you explain the meowing nuns.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  [laughs] Yeah, no, I– I think that— I think—- I think it would be really nice one, just always get her snacks. You can do that marshmallow thing, or she can like you can roast it for her and she takes the marshmallow off.

Brandon (as Les):  Have you? Have you? So you know, those marshmallow ropes that they have now? 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  No.

Brandon (as Les): They make like marshmallow ropes, and you could just put that on a s'mores rod thing. And you could just make a fucking rope of a smore.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  That sounds sick. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  It also— it will remind me of a snake losing its skin, if there's more than one. When you like, take the skin off. 

Brandon (as Les):  You know that's true, and now it’s gross.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  It could be cool, it could be creepy. Depends— yeah whatever you want. I— I think it would mean a lot to Phoebe. If you like, if you saw her use her, you know [whisper] powers. And then you said like, that's dope Phoebe.

Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Okay. I didn’t know that.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I think it would mean a lot to her. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah.

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann): Cause when you helped get Conway back into person form, we were both like that’s dope, Les. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  And umm you know, I think— I think when sometimes when you're uncomfortable around Phoebe, when she is like, doing Phoebe stuff like that's— that's kind of what might make her feel bad now. Not that she's told me she feels bad, but just like I'm guessing from that.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah. Yeah. Cause like I—yeah. It's not that I feel uncomfortable. Like it's yeah, yeah. So I gotta make that clear. I got it. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks, Carrie-Ann that makes sense.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Anything for my best friends. As long as nothing ever changes in our relationships. I'll be totally fine.

[Julia snorts]

Brandon (as Les):  Right. Exactly.

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. Oh, thanks for helping me feel better, excited to feel useful to my friends and not just to camp.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, totally. Hey, Carrie-Ann, also, like, when you run this camp, it's gonna be fucking, like popping off, you know?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Thanks.

Brandon (as Les):  None of this super bullshit where people yell each other over, like, safety concerns, you know?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, because we'll start with a week long safety drill, where everybody learns how to be safe at camp.

Brandon (as Les): Yes.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Because if someone ever died at camp, it would endanger all of camp, and I would die too.

Brandon (as Les):  Exactly. I'm looking forward to it. I also made you this hat that has Girl Boss, do you like it?

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Whoa. Oh, my God. I love it.

Brandon (as Les):  It was Phoebe’s idea too.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Thank you both. Whoa. Now I’m gonna make you presents. Okay.

Brandon (as Les):  By the way, in the interest of best friends. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah. 

Brandon (as Les):  I told Phoebe today and I haven't told you yet, that the other night. I fell asleep in the woods. I didn't tell Phoebe that part. Don't– that was embarrassing.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Oh, sure. Yeah, no, that's fine. 

Brandon (as Les):  Like not on a tent.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I would also embarrassed but I was supposed to be doing something for work and then I like fell asleep in it.

Julia: Wow, shade.

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So when we made those plans the other night, that was actually when I fell asleep. But like I was doing the thing, I promise.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Okay. 

Brandon (as Les):  Uhh but I. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I would have beeped you for help, like we talked about, but I didn't need any help, so. 

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah.Yeah. Yeah. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  I saved the day, it’s no big deal. 

Brandon (as Les):   It was pretty impressive. But what I did see, is that director sort of like, walked through a cliff face, like, oh, like a sheer wall of Earth. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  What?!

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah, and then I touched it and like, nothing happened. I couldn't— It was just like a wall again. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Where was it? 

Brandon (as Les):  I— well, I marked it with some, some trail markers, so like, we can go find it. But like, I—

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  We should do that tonight.

Brandon (as Les):  I think we kind of figure out like, how to get into it first, because like, I don't—

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  But then yeah, then we got to go do the thing.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah, that's so weird. Because the other day when– when we were in the woods with the blood and the Bigfoot and stuff like that. Steven tried talking to me. But he made it look like he was inside the wall of camp, but really, he just made a fake wall. 

Brandon (as Les):  Ohhh.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  And so like, if there's all kinds of stuff that isn't what it looks like, and then you touch it, and then it's not really it. Like—

Brandon (as Les):  Woah. I'm suppressing the amount— the part of me that wants to freak out. Because we had that talk. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Class. Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  That's cool.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  No, that's yeah, we gotta just channel it into like, doing stuff.

Brandon (as Les):  Action, yeah.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Alright, well, we should go. Let's go see what Phoebe's up to, see if she wants to join. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah. 

Brandon (as Les):  Umm. Fuck yeah. Let’s just do it.

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann): But like, right now the balance of our presence in our friendship is off like you gave me a present, you and Phoebe and I didn't know that.

Brandon (as Les):  Sure. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  So I have to give you guys a present. So I am going to do that first. 

Brandon (as Les):  Okay.

Amanda(as Carrie-Ann):  Maybe you can like tell Phoebe the whole like, oh, when you do stuff that freaks me out, doesn't freak me out. And actually, it's really cool, la-la-la

Brandon (as Les):  Yeah.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  And then and then maybe we can like, go look for it.

Brandon (as Les):  Okay, sounds good. Now, I—I'm never gonna say don't give someone a present.

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  Yeah.

Brandon (as Les):  But Carrie-Ann, you know that presents aren't like a transactional thing, right? Like they’re gifts. 

Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):  That's what you think.

Amanda:  Carrie-Ann runs away.

Brandon (as Les):  Cool.

Eric:  Carrie-Ann, after you make sure to pull your presents together.

Amanda:  Yeah, it's like an extra bandana. Like some fresh socks that I hadn't opened.

Eric: You wrote Les on it. 

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah. You two. I think Carrie-Ann, you, and Les meet up and you're looking around for Phoebe. And you cannot find Phoebe anywhere, because Phoebe, you kick open a cabin door and you see the campers from the new massive cabin. And Brenda says–

Eric (as Brenda): We weren't gambling, it was we-we- I brought this game from home. We were playing craps.

Julia:  Phoebe reaches into her backpack and pulls out like a full bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and just tosses them outside and then raises her eyebrows.

[everyone laughs]

Eric: All the girls jump up and run and they say–

Eric (as girls):  Scatter! In that direction. 

Eric:  And they run out the door.

Julia: Great. And Phoebe closes it behind her and locks it.

[end]


Transcriptionist: Kristianne

Editor: KM