Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #1041: Although it is easy and understandable that staff members may misplace personal items, it is tantamount that we keep our eyes on our things. You never know if your misplaced keychain could become the final piece of a magical doomsday device or integrated into a part-organic, part-inorganic beast that lives under our very feet.
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: We have some stuff we have to take care of before we go off on another adventure. Carrie-Ann tries to confront the director about Steven saying that Director Löw lost the whistle, but she blows up at Carrie-Ann for talking to Steven in the first place–
Eric (as Director Löw): And he's just trying to get in your head and you wouldn't know because you're just a teen.
Eric: Phoebe swipes some baking soda while Springer has their back turned and grabs a branch from the tree outside the cafetorium. Wonder what that's about? But everyone's talking about Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe. Jennii and Conway think Phoebe is weird. Carrie-Ann and Les talk about how to apologize to Phoebe for Les being weird and Les and Phoebe talk about their feelings without being too weird. Let's finish up these errands, shall we? We got to get the party started.
[theme]
Eric: Carrie-Ann and Les, after you're eating your boxed lunch, you were looking around for Phoebe, see if she wants to be around for figuring out what is going on with the director and the sheer cliff face and you do not– you don't see her. She's nowhere around where you would usually find her. And Les you run through Phoebe's entire schedule in your head, and then you memorized–
Brandon: Yeah, silently.
Eric: Silently in your head and Phoebe is not where she's supposed to be.
Brandon: This is not important to the plot or anything you just said. But I do want to just note that like Les ran through the lunch, the box lunch and now he's into his granola bar stash.
Eric: Oh for sure.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: We've already established that Les eats a Michael Phelps-ian amount–
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: –of calories during the day.
Brandon: Exactly.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So you said that she had a branch from the tree and she said it was about periods?
Julia: God damn.
Brandon (as Les): Oh. I–yeah, I mean, that's what she said.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Because then there's something I don't know. And I have to ask about it.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, wait, is that not right?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, I don't—someone must not have told me because I don't—I don't know but um. I think it's probably best if we like you know put our presents, my very good presents I definitely got you guys like back in the cabin and maybe we can do something else but yeah, I just you know, the last thing you want to do. Bother someone's letter.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Sure. I heard um. I read a book about some Indigenous Native Americans that [laughs] when people who menstruate, would menstruate in their group of folks, that they would like to give them like the best cat-like cabin lean-to thing.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Sure.
Brandon (as Les): And be like, yo, this is like your time to shine. Like a spa, spa to indigenous, indigenous spa, you know?
Eric: We cut to Carrie-Ann's health class that she took in seventh grade. And Mr. Mueller, who is the gym teacher, who wears a one-size-too-tight, pink polo shirt, and very, very short, athletic shorts. And has five whistles around his neck say–
Eric (as Mr. Mueller): Don't have sex. Just don't do it.
Julia: Is he okay?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, they didn't cover that um there. No.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. No. I didn’t mean it.
Eric (as Mr. Mueller): Don't ask me questions. It's gross.
Brandon: And then all of his veins pop in his head.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Mr. Mueller): You couldn’t hear that from my voice?
Brandon (as Les): Uh. So like yeah, we can just like um, we can just do this thing. Uh– I was gonna see, maybe swing by. I was thinking maybe we swing by the trippers and see if any of them-- the trippers cabin, see if any of them have like—uh, maybe camera we can borrow or like something, some knowledge or I don't know, maybe they won't, but.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Are there um. Are those things where you like, you can use a binocular and like see to a rock or something?
Brandon (as Les): Maybe. Yeah, like X-ray goggles?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. I don't know. But we can definitely see.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, just don't look at me, or else you'll see what's all in my pockets.
Brandon (as Les): Is it, hey, Carrie-Ann?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah?
Brandon (as Les): Is it pocket almonds?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [irritable voice] Only one of them has almonds in it. Only one.
Julia: Always pocket almonds. That’s the thruline of our campaign, is pocket almonds.
Eric: Hell yeah. Yeah, you guys can, y'all can go to the– you can go to the Trippers for sure.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I didn't know if it will be helpful or not. But um, because obviously like we really need to, I guess probably talk to Steven. I don't really know. But like um.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, I want to go see the rock face and I think if we can get any supplies to do that. That'd be awesome.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, at minimum, I would like to grab a camera from the photographer.
Eric: For sure. Well, here, here's my– here's my thought. And this is kind of how the Monster of the Week works, is that this move that you have, Les, is that like you have a bunch of people who can help you, right? And this is like regular human-ass knowledge, right? There are other games, like Heart, which is by Grant Howitt’s game development studio, where like they have different like warrens, or areas where a kind of show the vibe of what's going on in this place. This is a place with humans in it, this has this vibe to it. So it's like the trippers would give you less amount of knowledge, like Monster enthusiast, you would get from books, if you want regular equipment, maybe you can find something interesting if you really dive in there. And you spend that time doing that. However, if you want to go into weirder places, it's way, way more of a risk-reward, right? You're going into a place that might tell you more uncovered knowledge, like secret knowledge, but you're definitely putting yourself in danger. So it's up to you. And I think that like since now that we're in into a little bit of mini mystery here, there is like a time clock element involved about what you want to do to prepare, to go do these things.
Brandon: Amanda, do you think we should run by the trippers and get a camera and ask if they have an experience with like disappearing images or whatever? Or like hallucinations? Or do you think we should go seek Steven or something, I don't really know? I mean, the ultimate risk is to like, go see if there's something underneath the gymnasium, like you were saying.
Amanda: I think the trippers are really good at like, tactical negotiating things that you might encounter out there. But like, investigating further, feels like not their specialty. I am really interested in like this history of the camp as a place to train Monster Hunters. And I think that wherever those records are, they might have tools or a guide or a code or just some kind of evidence of like, what people used to know and like negotiating all of this stuff.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: So that I think is a little bit more likely to be successful.
Brandon: Yeah, let's do that then. I love that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Let's break into the gym.
Brandon (as Les): Fuck yeah. Oh let's do it.
Eric: Hell Yeah.
Brandon: And then Les and Carrie-Ann, tried to do a secret handshake that they've never talked about before and it’s a mess.
Eric: Very funny. Uh. Yeah. You can—you can head over to the gym. I think the gym is it's near the front of the camp. It was built relatively recently to show off that they had a big gym for a bunch of people to play basketball all at the same time. If you want to have a giant dodgeball game, you got to do it in the big gym.
Brandon: Hmm. With basketballs?
Eric: Well, listen, they also invested, the money was earmarked for dodgeballs. And there are like three good dodgeballs now and maybe you have to use a deflated basketball for dodgeball as well. [giggles] But, you know, so yeah, y'all are heading to the big gym. There is like a storage space but it's more of a crawl space. It's literally underneath the gym. Like on the outside there is a, there's like a cellar door unit.
Brandon: Beautiful.
Eric: That goes underneath the gym, which is where you keep all of it. It's also so gross and nasty. As you, you two are so jazzed up that you're going to heist in there. There might have used to be a lock, but now it is just so scary. There is no need for a lock. Do you know what I mean?
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann, Wait.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What?
Brandon (as Les): Do you have a recent tetanus shot?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, I am up to date on all of the things I could possibly encounter at camp.
Brandon (as Les): Wonderful. Alright. Let's go.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Julia: Polio, smallpox.
Eric: I think you open the, you open the cellar doors y'all walk down. And the cellar, the way in is probably three, three and a half feet tall. You cannot walk in there.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um, Les not to like put you on the spot. I do think that this basement is not like big enough, um for your height. Is that okay?
Brandon (as Les): Yes. [sighs] If I get down on my belly, I might be able to wiggle like a lizard or a snake in there.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric: It's the thing you've always wanted in your life.
Brandon: To be a snake.
Eric: Being a snake
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So um, let's look for any like evidence of Monster Hunting, anything about like disappearing walls, any skeletons or watermelons just like anything we can find that will give us some information because no adult is talking to us.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Eric: Hell yeah. I would love it if both of you role + Sharp, and I'm going to average it out for reading a bad situation. Remember Les' mind is so boggled by monsters that is what he thought it was. You have a -1 to Sharp, ongoing.
Brandon: Great, so I have a 0 total on Sharp then.
[dice roll]
[Brandon gasps]
Brandon: I murdered this role. What'd you get?
Amanda: Got devil’s titties, baby.
Julia: [gasps] Oh.
Brandon: Oh shit.
Eric: Oh my god.
Brandon: I got 11. I got a 6 and a 5.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Jesus Christ!
Amanda: I got a 12 +1 for 13
Julia: Damn y'all.
Eric: Holy shit. Alright, y'all, you get three questions on the read a bad situation one, because you rolled so well. Usually, this is advanced, but I'm gonna give this one to you. As your third question, you can ask me another question after I give you the information of the first two.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Because y'all, y'all both rolled so goddamn well. I'm gonna give it to you.
Julia: Damn.
Brandon: Well, we should definitely do that. Are there any dangers we haven't noticed, right?
Amanda: Yes. And I would say what's most vulnerable to me as in like, okay, so if they constructed this gym fairly recently, it's near the front of the camp, and they like tossed a bunch of stuff in storage, you know, to alleviate closet space in other places, like, I would characterize what's most vulnerable to us is like, if a couple of nosy CITs who shouldn't be down here are looking for evidence of things that the camp wants to cover up, like, what's most vulnerable to us?
Brandon: Yeah, it's like a vulnerability to the camp. Yeah.
Eric: Cool. Okay.
Brandon: Um. But that's only two.
Amanda: Right.
Eric: And then you, you. The third one, you can wait until after I say it, and you can ask whatever question you would like.
Brandon: Cool. Okay.
Julia: Dang.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Great. As you are on your hands and knees crawling into the bowels of underneath the gym, I would say the things that there are dangerous, we haven't noticed that it actually becomes more cavernous as you get closer in there. It seems like what started out as like a manmade structure, starts to build out and becomes more irregular. But you start to see that like, sports equipment are embedded in the sides of this crawlspace. Like–
Amanda: Like a cave wall with a lacrosse stick coming out of it?
Eric: Exactly. [laughs] That is exactly what I'm talking about.
Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: You know, that common thing that we all know about.
Julia: Hmm. Yeah, everyone knows about that.
Eric: So it's like the wall has like formed around a bunch of hockey sticks that are pushed over to the side, and there's like a net, that's like hanging down from the top if you wanted to pull a hockey net out from the top, and much like a cave, uh It's dangerous. And you all should be careful about cave-ins. It seems pretty unstable with the combination of wood, or rock, and stuff that is holding this thing together.
Julia: And it's a good thing that you have someone in there that can push his body to the limits of human capability.
Amanda: It's true. It's true.
Eric: In terms of what is the most vulnerable to me, I think in terms of looking at big, how big and cavernous nature, and as you go further and further in, and Les. Luckily, for Les' back, it starts to get a little bit taller, as you get further and further in, you still need to stay pretty hunched. But you get more and more space. Is that like, it seems that it's going, you know, when you look at rocks, or when a geologist looks at rocks, or maybe when you're looking at fossils, and there are only certain fossils in certain places, because of how they're putting–
Brandon: The layers of the earth.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: The layers of the earth. Yeah. As you go through underneath the camp, the stuff starts to change. It seems like the outermost, our sports equipment, and then as you get farther in, it's like things from plays. So there's like paint cans, and there are old microphone stands. And there's like a big thing of butcher paper that has Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat painted on it.
Brandon (singing): Ochre and, Ochre and, Ochre and, Ochre.
Eric: And uh, like some sets, so it seems like as you go further in, maybe you're gonna get to a era or wherever it place in–
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: –where you would get to files and information. I think they need to get closer. Every so often, there's an errant folder, or maybe the imprint of what used to be a filing cabinet.
Amanda: Um. I realize we have one more question to ask. But Eric, I leveled up between the last session and this one. And the move I took is from the mundane playbook. It's called What Could Go Wrong? And that means that when I charge into danger without hedging my bets, I hold 2.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: And I can spend 1 to inflict harm on something.
Eric: Right.
Amanda: Reduce harm on an ally, or act under pressure and do better at acting under pressure.
Eric: Great.
Amanda: I think Carrie-Ann, as soon as she clocks that we're going from kind of like the gym stuff to what came before the gym, is gonna, like, hurry towards the back of the cave and try to get to the origin.
Eric: Yeah, dude. Absolutely. I like that.
Amanda: So Brandon, if you want to ask that final question, go for it. But I think Carrie-Ann, as soon as she puts together this is kind of timeline like she's going toward the source.
Eric: Hell yeah. How about I would say that, yeah, if you're staying and, you're looking around and taking your time, you can get this question. So Carrie-Ann, yeah. 100% you do not get the answer to this last question.
Brandon: Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Ca-Carrie. Oh, God. Carrie.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): It's fine.
Eric: [doing echo sounds] Echo. Echo. Echo. It’s fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. And then you hear some bats go [imitates the sounds of bats] or whatever bats do.
Julia: No, that's what bats do.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: That's what Batman does.
Julia: A 100%
Eric: He jumps down and he goes. [imitates Batman] and then he flies and then he gets to you.
Amanda (as Batman): I’m named this because I'm scared of them.
Julia: That's true.
Brandon: So I can ask you anything right or it has to be related to those questions?
Eric: It has to be related to the idea of looking around and reading what's going on.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: So like, you can ask me a question that's not on this list, but you can't ask me something that you wouldn't understand from some sort of observation. It doesn't just have to be eyes, you can like, especially because it's you, you might have some sort of like, kit on you to figure it out. But it doesn't need to be observational from where you are at this moment.
Brandon: Got it. Um, does anyone have any-- I have a few ideas, but I don't like any of them very much. So if anyone has ideas, let me know.
Amanda: I think he can ask for the best way out of this like, how to shore up the structural vulnerability.
Julia: Best way out, I think is good if you're going to be pulling something out of the wall, and definitely, the structure is going to get messed up. So like–
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: –the quickest way out once that happens.
Amanda: Or the safest way out.
Brandon: Okay, cool. Yeah, that's what I was thinking anyway. So I thought that was boring.
Amanda: No. No. No. I think it's useful.
Brandon: All right. yeah um. Well, yeah, I'm just gonna ask what's the best way out.
Eric: Cool. From what you understand of cave systems and spelunking as of what this has turned into, you can definitely go out the way you came, as long as there's not a cave in. But there's probably another way out. I don't know if you know what it is necessary, but I bet if there is an issue, there are a lot of cave systems, especially because it's this combination of like, manmade and natural things. There's probably a quote-unquote, “Emergency Exit”. That might be easier than backtracking.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And I think that if that comes up as you find it, you will get that information. Maybe there's a thing that like, I don't know if this is true of caves, but like, the rocks might also flow in different directions towards entrances, like exits and entrances, and there's a bunch of like, turn-offs in different directions. It's not just straightforward.
Brandon: Cool, okay.
Amanda: Yes. Maybe Les is like taking in the surroundings and realizing you know, that there's a logic to it. There's a pattern to it. I can probably you know, use this to help me find my way later if I had to.
Brandon: Yeah, he's using his mind palace to remember the geography of this cave.
Julia: Well, glad for him.
Eric: The hockey pucks they go here next to my sneakers. Hell yeah. Alright Carrie-Ann, you charge forward.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Eric: Uh. What are you looking for, specifically?
Amanda: I am looking for the end of the cave. I am trying to go as deep as I can until the objects run out to see what the first one was.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: I'm picturing like, you know, how you go to a Natural History Museum sometime. And there is like, a timeline of, you know, from all the species we have now back to like some, you know, the original algae's that crept out of the sea.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Like I'm picturing this almost as going backward in the timeline of the history of camp or at least camp’s garbage, which is part of camp too.
Eric: True.
Julia: That’s true.
Eric: Can you run past and there are candy bars that haven't been made for 100 years?
Brandon: Charleston Chews.
Amanda: Exactly.
Eric: Yeah, there are books and there's–
Amanda: Like an old, old-timey bathing suit.
Eric: Yeah, there's a whole time thing. There are old-timey bathing suits. There are some like posters teaching children how to go under their desks in case of nuclear war.
Amanda: That'll never be relevant again.
Julia: Too real.
Eric: And you sprint forward, and I think that the in the caves does end there. It kind of cul-de-sacs at the end and opens up into this very large cavern at the end, and you see that there are all sorts of things in here. It almost feels like a collage. If someone made an artistic collage of what it's like to be at camp. There is just everything here. There is sports equipment, there are clothes, there are plates, there's firewood, there's like there's a half of a car is kind of jammed in there. And I think it all kind of ripples away from one entity in the middle. And it seems like there is a person that is kind of ensconced–
Julia: What?
Eric: –in the middle of this cavern.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann falls to her knees and goes–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [gasp] Diogenes?
Brandon: The God of Camp.
Julia: (laughing) Amanda! Diogenes.
Eric (as Mystery Person): [weak voice] I haven't heard someone say that name in countless numbers of years.
Julia: What?
Eric (as Mystery Person): Who-who are you?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): My name is Carrie-Ann Price and this is going to be my camp one day.
Eric (as Mystery Person): Oh, you also go to Camp Diogenes.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann):: Yeah.
Eric (as Mystery Person): So do I.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Really?
Brandon: What?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I haven't met you before. I'm, I'm a CIT.
Eric (as Mystery Person): I was a CIT as well.
Julia: Oh hell no. Get the fuck out of there.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Like how long ago would you say?
Eric (as Mystery Person): Time doesn't mean anything down here, below the gym. It could be last year or from the look on your face, it seems like more than that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um. What's your name? I kind of made an assumption there and I'm working on not doing that so much.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Mystery Person): [sigh] No one has asked me that. [sniffs] I don't– I barely remember. I think it's-- Am I, Diogenes? No, I'm [unsure] Avery.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Hi. Hi Avery. I'm, I'm Carrie-Ann.
Eric: Carrie-Ann, as you get a better look at this person, ensconced in the wall. You see like, ribcage and legs and face and their skin stretched over it. But really they are a part of this cavern wall but also a part of the objects that are in there as well.
Amanda: Yeah. Avery hasn’t been alive for a long time.
Brandon: Spirits of camp.
Eric (as Avery): [coughs] I'm Avery.
Brandon: Dust being coughed up.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: When you don't talk for X number of years, what– I don't know what else can do.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Eric: I can't do that when I wake up in the morning. I can't just say stuff.
Brandon: Yeah, every time Eric wakes up in the morning, he does cough a little bit of dust.
Eric: I go–
Morning Eric: [coughs] Help me.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um, Avery I can't really think of like a good way to say this. But um, are you dead or what?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Avery): No, I'm still alive. Kept alive by the spirit of camp, I supposed.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I can't tell if I think that's cool or bad. [echoes]
Eric (as Avery): No, I think my understanding is that it's cool and good.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann) Um. Okay. Do you, do you like, need anything?
Eric (as Avery): No, but it seems that you need something.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, I just um. I kind of forgot what I came here for. On account of I didn't anticipate any, of this happening. I guess I was looking, you know, for something cool from like, the beginning of camp. To see, you know, if I could just like learn something or, or do something like extra credit. I– I kind of um. I kind of messed up I have to make it up to the Director.
Eric (as Avery) Yeah, definitely. Absolutely. Do you want to make camp a wonderful special place? I want that too.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. I just um. I just think given recent events, I probably should, um should not talk to you. So I'm just gonna. Yep, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go.
Eric (as Avery): Are you sure?
Amanda: And Carrie-Ann starts stepping backward.
Eric (as Avery): We seem like similar people. You seem like–
Brandon (as Les): [in a faint faraway voice] Carrie-Ann?!
Eric (as Avery): –you seem like someone who–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Ca-caw!
Brandon (as Les): [in a faint faraway voice] You alright? Who are you talking to?
Amanda: (as Carrie-Ann): He–Help.
Eric: Yep. Les, you come charging up and you also see Avery in person.
Brandon (as Les) What the actual fuck.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric (as Avery): Do you also go to camp? I'm a CIT.
Amanda: Are they wearing anything?
Eric: No. Well like the body, I would say no. But like, they're also whatever secondary sex, features are worn away. It is just you know, torso and face and maybe legs, maybe arms, but like they are not outside of the wall. Like their arm ends at the elbow where there is a bookshelf, or maybe like in where their stomach would be if like out of a deflated basketball. And you know, they're really stuck in the wall.
Julia: Like that one guy in Davy Jones' Locker, in the Pirates of the Caribbean.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Exactly like that. Yeah.
Brandon: Um, can I do the-- I'm trying to decide which one I want to use.
Eric: I would do the one you haven't seen before. I don't think you've seen this before.
Brandon: Okay, cool.
Eric: If I were to make a suggestion.
Brandon: That's good to know, thank you. Uh. Yeah, so then I'll use my Ockham's Broadsword, which is when I first encountered something strange, I may ask the Keeper what sort of thing it is, and they will tell you if it or the cause is a natural and unnatural creature or weird phenomenon or a person, and then I gain, +1 for dealing with it.
Eric: I'm going to say person and also natural and also a weird phenomenon.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Or at least maybe natural and person. This is definitely a person. Something happened here. I don't think it's messed up though. It's not with dark magics, necessarily.
Brandon: You say the cause isn't a weird phenomenon?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm trying to say, is like this, it's not untoward necessarily what, what has happened here.
Brandon: Cool. And I don't like visibly seeing any signs of like robotics or anything, right?
Eric: No, no, no, no.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: The one thing it's not is definitely unnatural.
Eric (as Avery): Are you hiding out because-- is it the end of summer again? Are you hiding out to not go home?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, no. Is that what happened to you?
Eric (as Avery): That is. My– I didn't have any friends–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, god.
Eric (as Avery): –and my family didn't understand me and camp was ending. So before the last bus left, I snuck down here under the gym. And I've been subsisting on pretzels and a dropped apple core or two and the gym I guess the gym, I subsist on the gym as well, and the things that are camp.
Julia: This is the most cautionary tale for Carrie-Ann I've ever heard in my entire life.
Amanda: It's Carrie-Ann's Ghost of Christmas Future. Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. Seriously.
Eric (as Avery): But I wish if the only camp was a little longer, I could have figured out how to, how to tell my family what I needed. If only I could have, if only I could have done more to make camp better.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, I’m so--
Eric (as Avery): I– It's where I must have failed.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So, um. [whispers] So Les the–
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Yeah?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann) The thing that Steven wants to make summer last forever and I'm getting really similar vibes right now.
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Do we need to like, do we need to end this person's life? Like are they suffering?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um.
Amanda: Brandon, let me know if you think otherwise. But I think my main plan would just be to like, try to pull them out and then do CPR or something like see if they can survive that.
Brandon: Yeah, I think um, I think well one, I think we just ask them first.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: But, two, I think-- can Les pull out his um, I was gonna say, Ecto Cooler [giggles]. Can Les pull out his EMF reader and just sort of like see if this is a ghost? Or–
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Because like ghost is still technically natural. So–
Eric: Right. I would say that no, this is not a ghost. This is a person.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Who is alive? And I would say as you take a look at it, It seems like it's being and as Avery said, is subsisting on living and being down here and being a part of the gym.
Eric (as Avery): Let me help you. I just want to be helpful. If only–
Brandon (as Les): Okay.
Eric (as Avery): I don't–
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Carrie-Ann.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann) Yeah. What's up?
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Let's get some, let's get some questions first.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): And then we'll see if they need help.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): For sure.
Brandon (as Les): Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Well, how I'm. How do you want to help? What if a supernatural being were to say like, oh, you can make summer last forever, and therefore no one ever has to leave camp? Would that be a thing you would say yes to?
Eric (as Avery): If that was possible, that would be wonderful. We could all be at Camp forever. And be happy. I wasn't able to do that on my own, and the camp took me in.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann is making like kind of no, no, no gestures at Les.
Eric (as Avery): Why? What's the problem? Isn’t that what you want as well?
Brandon (as Les): Um. No, nothing's wrong. I would love to be at Camp forever and ever. Um, speaking of, while we're here--
Eric (as Avery): It seems like-- don't you love to camp?
Brandon (as Les) I love Camp, it's so good.
Eric (as Avery): I don't understand.
Brandon (as Les): I love to camp. While we're here doing it forever. Have you ever heard of anything like um the delusionary–
Eric (as Avery): Wait. Wait, you like going home? Do you have good home lives that you can go back to?
Brandon (as Les): No. Not at all, I want to stay at Camp forever.
Eric (as Avery): Okay. I'm not talking— it's the—I understand you, I've been alive long enough to understand sarcasm. Hold the other—you, my friend.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah?
Eric (as Avery): In the– wearing the Camp Diogenes shirt. You love to camp. Would you want to be in a camp forever? Do you– do you have something good to go home to? Is that the whole thing?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, I feel like I would be being mean to my mom and dad who are perfectly fine if I said um no, but the thing is, that people who um, people I trust keep telling me that I need to love camp less, um and but--
Brandon (as Les): No. I'm Les.
Julia: Ba-dum-tss!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Also, that I need to love, that I need to be less into camp. But, then the people who say things like hey, don't you want your wildest dreams, are sort of scary skeletons? Um, not you. You know, that's not at all, no offense. That's not, I'm not describing you, I'm describing other scary skeletons I met in the past.
Eric (as Avery): I'm not a—I'm a part of the camp itself. I will tell you what you want. I can help you. What would you like?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Are you like okay?
Eric (as Avery): Yes. This is all I ever did.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Are you happy?
Eric (as Avery): Wonderful! I'm a little lonely, but I get to hear–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Sure.
Eric (as Avery): When I get to hear the plays, and you're all very talented. No, everything's great.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So like you don't need–
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Ask about the thing. Ask about the thing.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Huh?
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Ask about the wall and the thing and the camp director and the thing. And the hallucination that Steven did.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, so um, do you like, do you know about Steven?
Eric (as Avery): Yes. I know about Steven.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Well, how?
Eric (as Avery): I hear things. And Steven has been around when I was at camp and still am at camp.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um, how do we like to make sure he doesn't take over? Because he's trying really hard to do that.
Eric (as Avery): I cannot say. It's a question– He, well, of course, we're all, we're fallible as people. I'm sure the director is doing what's best. But if all the directors of Camp have lost their way, then maybe Steven knows best.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): How did they lose their way?
Eric (as Avery): That’s what humans do. They lo– sometimes they lose their way as they drop their wallet in between the bleachers, and then I have it here. This is Billy's wallet. I have it. He has 20 bucks in here. It's mine now. You know, people leave their scrunchies and their sweatshirts–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric (as Avery): –and things that are valuable to them and it falls.
Brandon (as Les): What are you gonna do with 20 bucks? What?
Eric (as Avery): Anything.
Brandon: Buy a gumball? Because we don't know what fucking year it is.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric (as Avery): It could be. I could get, an egg cream or an N-64
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Avery): 20 years from now, or 20 years in the future.
Eric (as Avery): It seems like, I understand you're suspicious of me, but maybe the Directors don't know.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No. It's not that. No.
Eric (as Avery): How can I—do you need something? Can I help you? Well, I have, there are so many things. I don't need all these things. Do you want $20?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I guess like, no thanks.
Eric (as Avery): You're right, I don't need this. Here, hey, here you go.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, no.no.
Eric: And the wallet was on top of the bookshelf and it gets shoved off and falls at Les' feet.
Julia: Woah.
Eric (as Avery): Take that it's yours.
Brandon: Yeah, I pick it up.
Amanda: Yeah. $20. It's like $80.
Brandon: Les raises his hand too.
Eric (as Avery): Tall guy.
Brandon (as Les): Am I allowed to talk? You didn't really let me ask a question.
Eric (as Avery): You are, you were just being sarcastic before, so I felt like you weren't taking me seriously.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, no, I'm taking you seriously. Um, so like, so like, I saw the—who was the director when you were uh not in the part of this camp, this current form. Who was the director?
Eric (as Avery): Oh, that's a wonderful question.
Brandon (as Les): Was it Director Löw?
Eric: No, no, I, it's been so many Directors have gone by, I don't remember who. who was my–
Brandon: That's okay.
Eric: –Director.
Brandon (as Les): I just wanted to make sure you know, she wasn't there.
Eric (as Avery): There have been-- no, there have been years and years of directors, countless people come through and run the camp.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh.
Brandon (as Les): Is this like, like a place for like? No, it doesn't matter. Okay. Here's the mission. I'm on. I saw our Director walk through a wall. What is that?
Eric (as Avery): Interesting.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Like in the woods you know?
Eric (as Avery): I have not seen that. But I've heard of it.
Brandon (as Les): What?
Eric (as Avery): Well the camp tells me?
Brandon (as Les): What has the camp told you?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): How can’t the camp talk to me?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Avery): You can. was I– I mean, this is I, It's only happened to me before. So you could just hang out here and see what happens.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'll definitely visit you. Yeah.
Eric (as Avery): Thank you. I appreciate that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): For sure.
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Carrie-Ann, no, no.
Amanda: She crosses her, her fingers behind her back.
Eric: Well, it seems like you're all taking me seriously. Well, I only know what the Camp knows and a lot of that comes through osmosis through the old Camp handbooks.
Brandon (as Les): Hmm.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I have a lot of those too. I just, I guess what I want to know is like what, what is Camp for and who knows what is best for camp?
Brandon: (as Les): But also the more tangible thing that I asked, and I want to know the answer to.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, yeah, yeah. No. That first. That first. Yeah, sorry, sorry best friend.
Eric (as Avery): What is Camp for? That's a big question. No one knows. We have to do what's best for ourselves, and as a community of people come together for the summer. Who knows? Have fun, grow, and learn. Who’s to say? I can show you something you might not have.
Eric: Something else falls out of the bookshelf that’s over on one side, and it's the first Camp Handbook.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann dives for it before it hits the ground.
Eric (as Avery): It's bound in leather. It's written on like parchment with ink, and it has the beginnings of a lot of things that you remember, Carrie-Ann.
Brandon: Is it human leather?
Eric: Maybe.
Brandon: Oh, shit.
Eric: You’ll have to look at it. Maybe.
Eric (as Avery): So if that's helpful, I'll a, and you all, you promise that you're doing what's right for Camp and–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Always.
Eric: Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were at Camp forever? For all of the kids that don't have somewhere to go back to?
Brandon (as Les): Yep.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, um—
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann, it's fine.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): My heart says yes. And my brain says no.
Brandon (as Les): It's fine, let's just get the fuck out of here.
Eric (as Avery): You're doubting me?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, no, no, no, not at all. I just, I need to learn to take in the wisdom you know? And I just. I'm gonna-- listen, I'm going to sleep with this right under my pillow–
Amanda: And Carrie-Ann is taking more steps backward.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): And I'm gonna just like osmosis and just like you said, all of the knowledge and the stuff and then I'm going to come and give you like a book report about it.
Eric (as Avery): Okay. I thought we were, are we? I thought we were friends.
Brandon (as Les): We're best friends.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): We're best friends.
Brandon (as Les): We're best friends!
Julia: Phoebe somewhere is like.
Julia (as Phoebe): Excuse me?
Eric (as Avery): I don't know about that.
Eric: I would like for both of you to act under pressure.
[Julia grunts]
Amanda: Alright. I'm gonna spend one of my holds to get a + 2 to this.
Eric: Do it.
Julia: Hey, Eric.
Eric: Yeah?
Julia: This voice is great.
Eric: Thank you.
Amanda: This is great.
Brandon: Can I use just another day? Is this due to a monster phenomenon or a mystical effect?
Eric: Yes, it is.
Brandon: Great. So I get to roll + Weird instead of Cool.
Amanda: Amazing. So I roll the 6 + 2 cool is an 8 + 2 from my move–
Eric: There you go.
Amanda: –it's a 10.
Eric: Great.
Brandon: So actually, I think I got the same thing. So I rolled 7 and I add 2 for Weird which is 9, and then I have a +1 to dealing with this thing for my Ockham's Broadsword.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: God damn! Hey, we're playing monster of the week, baby! Hot damn!
Julia: And Brandon likes to say, this is a baby game.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: A baby game for babies.
Julia: An easy, baby game.
Eric: Well that's helpful because you both look up and an entire scoreboard is falling down from the ceiling. And both of you— both of you dive out of the way.
Brandon (as Les): Shit.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, we gotta go. Let's go, Les, let's go.
Brandon: Uh. we're gonna start dashing to the exit. Is there a better way out, Eric?
Eric: Yes, you can. You can go back the way you came, or there is a, you can take a left. There's another exit, basically from the cavern. It's basically like–
Amanda: You like to feel a little breeze, you're like see a little moss or something?
Eric: Yeah, I'm trying to think of the funniest thing that would be in front of you.
Brandon: Is it a fire exit sign?
Eric: Yeah, that would be pretty funny. You feel a breeze coming from the other cavern, and there's a fire, yeah. That's-- Brandon, that's very funny. Basically, there's a fire door–
Amanda: Great.
Eric: – on the far end of the cabin over there.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That's what this are for.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, fire stands for um, Flee. Immediately.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Right.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Run Extra. Run. Extra
Brandon (as Les): Extra. Run. Extra. [laughs]
Julia: You guys got it. Nailed it in one.
Eric (as Avery): Come down whenever you want. I was a camper like you, and I still am. Man. This. I thought bonding with camp would be good, but this? I guess I really scared those people away. Shit.
Brandon: Are we doing good, or do I need to? uh, no limits run the fuck out of here?
Eric: No, you're fine.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: On your way out. Les, you see that like there's a whole like, there's like a bunch of old office supplies as well. There's like a fax machine. And there's like some paper and you look down and you see that there was a full ream of Avery printer paper and labels.
[Brandon wheezes]
Amanda: Fuck you. Fuck you.
Brandon (as Les): Uh. Okay, um.
Eric (as Avery): Come back. We could talk more.
Brandon (as Les): Fuck alright.
Brandon: And I, I think we just keep running and get the fuck out of here.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. No, I'm, I'm running until we get back to our cabin, yeah.
Eric: Yeah you bust out.
[Theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. Eric and I were out over the last two weeks getting married to each other. We're dating in case you didn't know. We're married now. And I just have to say that I have never thought of falling autumnal leaves as nature's confetti until I saw them swirling around me as we were getting nup’ed. And I have to recommend that you forevermore refer to falling leaves as nature's confetti. Welcome to the Midroll. So golden in the sun. First and foremost, thank you to all of our newest patrons. There are so many of you and thank you very much for being patient with your thank yous. So welcome to Madjazoo, Amy Lynn, Moira, Jess, Crow, Dakota, Herbacio, Kimberly, and Erin. Thank you so, so much for giving some money every month to one of your favorites, I hope podcasts are supported by people like you. Produced by independent podcasters making this their job somehow in this crushing economy. Thank you so very much. 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You can watch my best friend Julia and me go through our entire 20s together over the 300-plus episodes we've released over the last almost 7 years, there is so much to enjoy. Whether you are here for analyses of mental health and mythology or just some creepy modern ghost stories. I promise we have something for you, dive in at spiritspodcast.com or search for Spirits in your podcast app. We are very excited to welcome a new sponsor this week. It's Green Leaf Geek who makes handmade curated dice and gear for geeks. They ship worldwide, what up Europe? I know you're always asking for those sponsors that ship worldwide. Here you are, go to greenleafgeek.com And check out something, there are very excited to promote right now. Their fourth annual ADVENT-URE calendar, get it? It's like Advent plus adventure, a 24-day countdown to whatever you're celebrating during the winter season, that has five whole sets of dice and a lot of other surprises, all in one extremely cool gift box. You can save $5 off any purchase of $15 or more with the code JOINTHEPARTY. And hey, if you're listening after the sort of like late fall and early winter season, that's okay. You should still go to greenleafgeek.com Because they are so cool. I'm sure you've seen some of their designs over the internet. They have polyhedral, polyhedral sets of dice and to the key fish crit sets, I'm sure if you see those, you'll have seen them on Instagram or Tumblr. Gosh, they're so pretty. They have been mentioned on all kinds of fabulous RPG shows including ours. So once more go to greenleafgeek.com and enter code JOINTHEPARTY to save $5 off any purchase of $15 or more. We are also sponsored this week by D&Tea, which Multitude Community Manager, Roux has been buying and loving for years. They make immersive teas for your RPG session. And that's not just a semi-pun on the fact that you steep the dried leaves of plants to make tea. It is immersive. So if you're going to be playing in a tavern, for example, they have a tea called Tavern Brawl that makes you feel like you are there. If you're in the Underdark, there Underdark and chill have an earl grey base kicked up with lavender and vanilla to make it perfect for your session. Something they also do, that I think is so sweet is that orders of three or more teas come in a super cute gift box that also includes a dungeon map on the inside. So you can you know reuse the box and have something fun to save it from getting recycled too soon. Listen, whether you get it for yourself, or for fellow members of your party just to feel like you are hanging out and have ambiance as you listen to your favorite RPG podcast. Maybe this Join the Party is helpful to us, or a gift for your GM, you gotta check it out. Every tea is only $15 for a big four-ounce bag with a lot of portions of tea, trust me. You can save 15% when you sign up for a subscription at DandTea T E A .com. That's DandTea.com. Where subscriptions come with 15% off. And finally, we are welcoming back our very first sponsor to the show. That's right. It's your friend and mine. It's my home away from home. It's Twenty Sided Store. It's the only place where you can get Catan and see a movie and eat the best soup dumplings in Brooklyn all within two square blocks. So many of you have told me that on your first trips to New York or to Brooklyn, you have made it a point to go to Twenty Sided Store, they love it and so do we, because co-owners and co-founders, Lauren and Luis who are also partners in life, love, and gaming just like Eric and me, were the first people to support Join the Party when we launched our very first sponsor, and it means the world to welcome them back to the show. Now they have even set up a brand new code to last us through the Camp-Paign. 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[theme]
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann, [panting] did you see the Avery paper in the—
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Well?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, was that like a malicious spirit that um, that like just looked at whatever was nearest and named itself, like a fire extinguisher or whatever?
Brandon (as Les): [panting] Yeah. I think so.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, no. There's something really bad down there huh?
Brandon (as Les): Maybe. Maybe we should flood it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That's a great idea.
Eric: [laughs] shit.
Brandon (as Les): But first, first things first. Let's uh, let's see what the fuck is in that book.
Amanda: Yeah. Can we like sit somewhere really sunny? I feel like bad stuff doesn't happen in the sunshine.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon (as Les): That's true.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Cool.
Brandon (as Les): I know. I know that exactly. Vampires don't like sunshine, um, and other things, ghouls, goblins.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Where do you, where do you sit?
Eric (as Carrie-Ann): Dougie Juice?
Brandon (as Les): Dougie Juice.
Amanda: Yeah, uh maybe we'll just like sit like on the side or behind the cabin, like maybe just outside the back door in a sunny patch of grass.
Eric: Sure. As you're flipping through this manual, a lot of things have changed. Other things have stayed the same.
Brandon: [laughs] Ain't that always the way Eric, with life?
Julia: Ain’t that just how it be?
Eric: Listen, I mean, it's not. Here's the thing, Carrie-Ann, some of this text is exactly the same in the current hand book which is wild, like full, I would say at least two-thirds of it are the same, if not verbatim, exactly the same in written and this thing.
Amanda: We've established that Carrie-Ann owns as many old campaign books as she can get on eBay.
Brandon: It's true.
Amanda: So it's clear to her what text is the same and what's not.
Eric: Exactly. There is an entire section on like, the learning, teaching, and administration of monster hunting. That like Camp Diogenes was also to prepare citizens of the United States to fight against like, supernatural menaces.
Julia: Whoops.
Eric: However, I would say it's not like we're training the newest set of Ghostbusters. It's more like, in the way that like, oh, I guess we all need to make sure that United States citizens can go off to war. It feels more antiquated than it does like a reveal, you know?
Brandon: Yeah. So it's like, when you read the text out loud, it has like a Trans-Atlantic accent. That's how you know that it's like antiquated.
Amanda: Yeah, it's like how scouts and to a larger extent, the school system just trains us to be like, capitalistic sort of workers.
Eric: Exactly, yeah, exactly.
Amanda: To give output. Right.
Eric: It's like or like the Presidential Fitness exam, was like to make sure everyone was ready to be drafted.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It feels more antiquated than it does anything else.
Amanda: I see.
Eric: There is something written all the way at the back of the book. There's like a few blank pages for you to take notes, and there is some iconography there.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann gasps–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Marginalia!
Brandon: And Les is like–
Brandon (as Les): What’s that– what does that mean?
Julia: Excuse me? God bless you?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, it's like notes that people leave for each other books per se.
Brandon (as Les): Marginalia?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): I think he made that up Carrie-Ann [laughs]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Nah.
Eric: So there it seems to be some crude symbols that are written here, in a row. There is an eyeball, there is a log, and there is a tombstone. There are two quarter rest symbols. And then a four-leaf clover. A paw, a tree, a sun, and then a stone wall. Three by three bricks of a stone wall.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon (as Les): Okay, so we have to see–
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): –the wood on top of the grave. Wait for a second.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Then look for a four-leaf clover, and give that Clover to a bear.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): The bear will climb the tree towards the sun.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Uh-huh.
Brandon (as Les): And then the stone wall will open.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): But we don't want the stone wall to open
Brandon (as Les): Shit
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So we should never pick any four-leaf clovers.
Brandon (as Les): You're right.
Julia: NEVER.
Eric: Let's cut to Phoebe.
Julia: What's up?
Eric: Phoebe, you lock the door to the large flycatcher cabin after tricking all the campers to run out for some Reese's Pieces. What do you do? You're back, listen, this is the third time you've been here. You're very familiar with this cabin at this point.
Julia: Phoebe goes over to the trapdoor, opens it up and slides down the ladder into the American Ninja Warrior gym.
Eric: The old, old gym. I think at this point, there's like a, there's like a $5 IKEA rug over the trapdoor.
Julia: Oh, yeah. Gone.
Eric: Yeah, you just slide down there.
Julia: Great.
Eric: As you land, you hear your footsteps echoing throughout the entire old gymnasium. The water in the pool is undisturbed and even grosser than the last time you were in there. There's even more dust all over the old archery equipment and the Ninja Warrior gym-- The obstacle course over on the left is untouched and still has like a dust outline of Carrie-Ann falling. There’s still like an outline in the dust from the last time that someone has moved their way in, though it still is, other than that dust, quite clean.
Julia: Great. So what Phoebe is going to do is in a big circle around where she landed where the ladder is, she is going to make a circle of the baking soda.
Brandon: Smart.
Amanda: Yey!
Eric: Hell yeah. How big? Tell me about it.
Julia: It has to be pretty big because Phoebe is going to make an additional circle inside of that circle.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: With a piece of chalk that she found.
Eric: In what color is it? Is it sidewalk chalk?
Julia: It's light blue.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah, dude. Do you write your name in big letters in there as well?
Julia: Yeah, of course naturally, that's how magic works. You have to write your name in big block letters.
Eric: Yeah, or then the devil won't know who it is.
Julia: Right. And so Phoebe is kind of crafting this circle similar to the one that she had made when she was resting and trying to create her magical bow and arrow. And she takes out a few of the pieces of wood that she had hacked off of the giant branch that the squirrel gave her.
Eric: Oh, the sovaĝa trees, yes.
Julia: Yeah, from the sovaĝa tree, and kind of crafts them into a circle themselves.
Eric: I want to say that this wood is incredibly hard. So like, do you, do you like magic up your hands to do it?
Julia: No, I think maybe with some twine or something like that.
Eric: Oh fuck yeah dude.
Julia: Kinda just bends pieces together. Like I said, crafts it. Crafts it.
Brandon: Normal magic.
Eric: Yeah, you don't have to use magic for it. That's fine.
Amanda: Ropes are magic when you think about it.
Brandon: Uh-huh. Exactly.
Julia: Yeah, and so she places that in the middle of the chalk circle, and takes a few steps back and pulls out her bow and arrow.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: And kind of under her breath, starts muttering.
Julia (as Phoebe): How doth the little crocodile, improve her shining tail and pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale. How cheerfully she seems to grin, how neatly spreads her claws and welcomes little froggies in with gently smiling jaws.
Julia: And she nocks and draws an arrow and electric icy blue energy starts lighting up the circle.
Amanda: Yeah dude.
Brandon: Yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Kill that frog. Kill that frog. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.
Eric (as Frederick): [echoey voice] Did you know, a group of frogs is called an army because we are covered in green camouflage?
Brandon: Is that true?
Eric (as Frederick): Probably, Les who's here now.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: And Phoebe lets loose the arrow.
Eric: [laughs] You fire the arrow and it lodges itself firmly in the side of the gymnasium. And then you see like someone moving a broadway curtain out of the way, Frederick the frog riding atop his gelatinous ooze slides in.
Eric (as Frederick): Oh, Phoebe, you've come back for more, and you're using my skin. That's wonderful. You must have learned the frog fact about how I shed my skin. Unfortunately, we've already determined that you're not chosen for anything. So I don't think we have much to talk about. I can tell you more frog facts.
Julia (as Phoebe): Nope.
Eric (as Frederick): Did you know that a frog can't keep its eyes open when we eat? That's interesting. That's because we need them when we're consuming prey, when a frog swallows food and pulls its eyes down into the roof of its mouth so we can see what's going on there.
Brandon: [shocked] WHAT?!
Eric (as Frederick): That's according to the American Museum of Natural History.
Julia: So Phoebe’s just gonna stand, kind of silently inside of this circle within a circle, and is going to pick up the crafted wooden circle that she's made out of the branches.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: And is going to wait until this thing gets closer.
Eric: Okay.
Eric (as Frederick): You're not responding, usually people love pop when they hear my frog facts. Did you not hear me?
Julia: Phoebe just remains quiet.
Eric: Okay.
Eric (as Frederick): Okay, I'll come closer, maybe you didn't hear me when I said you weren't chosen for anything.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Frederick): Bradwick, take me forward.
Eric: As the ooze sloorps forward while Frederick is riding the gelatinous ooze, he gets Frederick riding the gelatinous ooze, gets right up to the baking soda says–
Eric (as Frederick the frog): Oh, that's not– Bradwick does not like that. Seems rude if you're going to come down to my house.
Julia: And Phoebe is going to throw the circle of wood at Frederick the Frog, trying to lasso him more or less.
Eric: Hell yes.
Brandon: Fuck yes.
Eric: Okay, so Julia, you want to do the big reveal? Let's do the big reveal, yeah?
Julia: Yes, so–
Eric: Okay. Tell the folks at home what you're doing.
Julia: Excellent. So Phoebe is using Big Magic.
[Amanda gasps]
Julia: And in order to bind Frederick the frog, the chalk circle summoned him, but first things first, he needs to be bound, and because the sovaĝa tree is actually used to make this cabin. Frederick can only be bound by using the materials of the house that are currently in habits.
Brandon: Because it's a house demon. Yes.
Eric: Because Frederick the Frog is the house demon of this goddamn forsaken gymnasium.
Amanda: Yup.
Julia: Yes and so the only way to bind him is with something that this house is made of. So that is why–
Amanda: Damn.
Julia: –Phoebe got a branch from a squirrel.
Brandon: Fuck yes.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: I love this.
Eric: Alright. So here's the thing about Big Magic. You can get anything done if you have enough equipment and items and the time is right and the moon is in the seventh house in Monster of the Week, right?
Amanda: And Jupiter aligns with Mars.
Eric: Yeah, and it's the Age of Aquarius. Very important. And then like a bunch of people you weren't expecting on stage to get naked. And then that happens--
Amanda: They sure do.
Eric: And you're there with your grandma and it's a lot, there's a lot happening and you're never going to see Hair ever again.
Brandon: And your grandma's like.
Brandon (as Grandma): That's impressive.
Eric: Brandon, I can't believe you know what my grandma sounds like. Incredible. Incredible. So in terms of that's what Big Magic is. Pheebs, I still need you to roll a magic roll here, to figure out if you can let if you're going to bind our good friend Frederick the Frog.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Although you have all the components that you need and you compiled them, we still want a roll here.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: No whammy, no whammy, no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy.
[dice roll]
Eric: Roll + Weird
Julia: 1 is on the floor.
Brandon: If it's great, keep it.
Amanda: Devil’s titties! Devil’s titties!
Eric: No.
Julia: So that's going to be an 8 + 2 weird
Brandon: Yeah!
Julia: For a 10.
Amanda: Yeah. Our weird best friend!
Eric: The magic works for that issue. Choose your effects, anything we already know what the effect is, that you want, that you want to bind Frederick within the hoop. Yeah, what does that look like? Are you throwing it like you're trying-- like you’re at a carnival?
Julia: Yes, that's exactly it, honestly.
Eric: Hell, yes.
Julia: Phoebe kind of tosses it underhand and spiraling towards this frog.
Eric: Right as he pulled the frog from off the top of the gelatinous ooze.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, you lassoed, you tie them up. Somehow, magically, you might say. The hoop snugly fits around Frederick the Frog. As he struggles, there's like sparks of blue light, reminiscent of Phoebe's own magic.
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): What if I told you all the frog facts I know? I don’t like being-- How did you do this?
Julia: Phoebe looks down at the frog and says–
Julia (as Phoebe): You are an unnatural creature and by the laws of nature, you must be destroyed.
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): Frogs are very natural, we have teeth.
Julia (as Phoebe): You're not natural.
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): Bradwick, help me!
Julia: And Phoebe's gonna nock another arrow and pull back on the bow string.
Eric: Hell yes. You want to inflict, just straight up inflict damage?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: As this arrow hurdles towards the frog, you see a montage of Frederick and Bradwick in like pastel–
Amanda: No!
Brandon: –in watercolors.
Julia: Sepia, yeah.
Eric: What was that song from Toy Story 2, that was Sarah Mclachlan, it was like because she loved me.
Brandon: Yeah exactly.
Julia: [sings She Loved Me] Everything was beautiful, every hour spent together.
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: [sings She Loved Me] Lives within my heart.
Brandon: Getting ice cream, the ice cream gets trapped in the ooze.
Eric: Yeah, that, that arrow goes right in between Frederick's big old frog eyes.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: And there is a, there is a glowing blue arrow in Frederick's head right now. Bradwick the ooze makes an unholy noise only known from the terrible cries of those who do not have a mouth and tries to charge you for your baking soda defenses. I would like you to roll + Cool, and act under pressure. But I will give you + 2 because you have defenses to keep Bradwick from you.
Julia: Well, that would be a 10 then.
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: Fuck man. Bradwick tries to cross the line of the baking soda.
Julia: I feel like Phoebe reaches behind her and grabs the, still like has some stuff in it bottle of the baking soda and splashes it on Bradwick.
Brandon: Yeah!
Eric: Oh my god. Kick some ass, please.
[dice roll]
Julia: Yes. Oh my god, uh 8.
Eric: Okay, 8 yeah. Part of Bradwick sloughs off as Bradwick makes another unholy noise and tries to throw ooze at you. I think one gets you in the hand. You take 1 harm, but of course, it's ranged, so Bradwick cannot engulf you, do its engulf move.
Amanda: Dang.
Eric: I would say if you want to attack again, if you're doing another plus tough you get -1 forward on that as you got caught in the hand.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yeah. Frederick is crying out, be like–
Eric (as Frederick the Frog) [crying voice]: No, I thought I knew what I was doing. Why would you do this to me? I'm just a house demon here at the Kingfisher cabin, and sometimes people come down here and they find secrets and they might be chosen.
Julia (as Phoebe): Because I am chosen by nature and nature has deemed you not to be chosen.
Julia: And Imma big whammy that bitch.
Amanda: That's the stuff.
Eric: Do a big whammy and the -1 on that.
Julia: Okay, that's an 8.
Eric: Yeah, with an 8 you do, well, how much harm is a big whammy?
Julia: +2, ignore armor.
Eric: Hell yes. What does that look like here?
Julia: As we've established before, it is basically a punch, but then electric blue energy radiates off of Phoebe's body when it happens.
Eric: Sure. Phoebe, this is a full-on uppercut. Like straight out of Street Fighter. You were just catching Frederick the Frog, right, and his goddamn froggy chin. And as you do that, Frederick just explodes into green goo.
Julia: Excellent.
Eric: That just unforms and splatters across the wall. The ooze is then also destabilized and once again unleashes an unholy scream.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Horribles and unforms as well into another similar ooze, and all of it kind of like shuffles towards the pool.
Julia: Interesting.
Eric: It kind of just rolls, rolls away into the pool. And you hear somehow, on the wind:
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): Well no one even is the chosen one. This was all a lie in the first place and you suck!
Julia (as Phoebe): That's what you think
Amanda: Phoebe is gonna dip her arrows into the goo that was Frederick the Frog.
Eric: Hell yes.
Amanda: So good.
Julia: And then like look up into the, not the sky because obviously, she's inside. But look up and be like.
Julia (as Phoebe): That one’s for your Chuck.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Damn.
Eric (as Frederick the frog): You'll know it's me because each frog species has its own special call.
Eric: As you dip that arrow into the nasty nasty goo that was once Frederick the Frog, you get an extra attack which will do +1 harm.
Julia: Oooh!
Eric: So when you want to inflict harm using that one arrow, you get to use it once and it does 2 harm range magical.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Julia: Cool.
Eric (as Frederick the frog): Okay, I wasn't one of these, but the golden poison frog was, has the distinction of being the most poisonous animal in the world, so–
Julia (as Phoebe): Aren't you dead?
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): My spirit is still kind of bumping around in here.
Julia (as Phoebe): Alright, I'm binding your spirit here, so it can't go bother other people.
Eric (as Chuck): Oh yes, Phoebe, just fucking own him.
Julia: You got it, Chuck!
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): No, now I'm trapped. And I don't even get to go in and out of my cool frog body.
Julia (as Phoebe): Hehehe.
Eric (as Frederick the frog): I hate you.
Julia (as Phoebe): Good.
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Amanda: Damn.
Julia: Yeah. Phoebe just like, puts everything back in her little backpack and crawls out, let’s the rest of the Flycatcher girls back into their cabin, and then is walking back towards the Cafetorium.
Eric: All the flycatcher girls are going–
Eric (as Flycatcher girls): Ahhhhh! I can do anything. I could run a mile so fast, I’m Reese’s Pieces powered.
Brandon: They have like wrappers stuck to their faces in various places.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah. Incredible.
Eric (as Brenda): Get out of the way, Brenda's coming through!
Amanda: Incredible.
Brandon: I think Les and Carrie-Ann would be like racing out to find Phoebe to tell her about the book.
Amanda: No. Yeah, like, like book stuffed in, you know, our sweatshirt or like in our bag or something running to wherever she is.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, hey, guys, what's up?
Brandon (as Les): [pants]: Oh my god.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Phoebe! There's so much to tell you.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay
[Les and Carrie-Ann wheezing]
Julia (as Phoebe): You guys okay?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, um, we kind of--
Amanda: And then I look around like, you know, gesture Phoebe over to like, by a tree. You know, some semblance of privacy.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, we, um, we kind of like went under the gymnasium, um to the storage area. And I kind of like ran to the back of it. And we found a like camper who has been absorbed into the wall and has lived there for probably decades and kept saying things like, don't you want Camp to last forever? [Phoebe gasps] And if you, if we're friends then shouldn't we, like, you know, like, work together and like overthrow the Director, basically? And then I did have to tell him that we were best friends. But we are not–
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): –I just had to say that in order to get out of there. So if you felt like some kind of disturbance–
Julia (as Phoebe): I did.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): –like that was, I just wanted to get ahead of that. Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): And I found this book!
Julia (as Phoebe): Thanks for letting me know.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. And um.
Amanda: And then, uh, Carrie-Ann holds up the book and opens it to the last page with the symbols.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): And then we found a camp handbook. And it turns out that like maybe monster hunting, which is kind of like a thing people did, like starting fires and like making rope and like learning knots and stuff. But there are these symbols on the back and um, we needed to come to find you.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Also the director yelled at me, and I'm having a really bad day, but this is kind of making it better. So um, yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Do you want a hug?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Julia: Phoebe gives her a really big hug.
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, Phoebe, I really needed that. Thank you.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. Uh. Let's go figure out this weird symbol stuff. Les, do you still want me to show you how to debone a chicken?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I do.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay we could do that.
[End of Session]
Eric: So I didn't want to do the end-of-session stuff again, because we didn't have explicitly a mystery, but I think that I like the vibrancy in which we do stuff should validate some of this. Did we conclude the current mystery? I would say yes.
Julia: True.
Eric: At least for Phoebe. Phoebe got closure.
Brandon: That's all, yeah.
Eric: I'll take that. Did we save someone from certain death or worse?
Julia: No.
Amanda: I don’t know. Avery kind of did that to themself and they are so there, so certainly not.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Did we learn something new and important about the world?
Brandon: I think so, we learned about Avery.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah, and the first version of the Camp Handbook.
Eric: Yeah, that's big. And did we learn something new and important about one of the hunters?
Amanda: I don't think so.
Brandon: I don't think anything new, we like developed stuff, but yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I mean, that's too, that's fine–I think that's too, that's definitely fine.
Amanda: So we mark 1 experience?
Eric: You mark 1 experience.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Yay. Good job, team.
Eric: Good job everybody.
Julia: Yes, Bestfriends.
Brandon: Everyone put your hands in, and on the count of three will say eyeball, log, tombstone, two quarter rests, four leaf clover, paw, tree, sun, stonewall.
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah. I'm ready.
Eric: No, you don't. You go, eyeball, log, tombstone, and then you wait for two beats. And then you say four leaf clover and the other ones.
Brandon: Okay, ready?
Amanda: Okay, I'm ready.
All: Eyeball, log, tombstone.
Eric: Rest. Rest.
All: Four-leaf clover. Paw, tree, sun, stonewall!
[acoustics]
Eric: We cut to the Director's office, where she has a, has an old, like an old 1980s office phone in the crook of her shoulder balancing in her ear as she's looking at some papers. But she hasn't moved away because the voice on the other end is so loud. Like.
[1980s music in the background]
Eric (as Director Löw): Yeah, yes, Mrs. Johnson. No. I don't know what to tell you, that Jimmy turned into a big ball of fire, and now he wants to express himself as a big ball of fire. That's not, that's his choice. That wasn't. He found the Fire God. That's like, that's what I didn't. You know, I'll call, I'll call you back. We'll see. I'll see if I can get my hands on him. I'll put some torches out. Okay, great. Thanks, Mrs– alright. Buh bye.
Eric: Slam.
Eric (as Director Löw): Oh my god. Oh, fuck.
Eric: And she takes the lanyard off around her neck. She, she's like but she's playing with her keys. She's playing with all of the ID cards that she has from the various things she does around the camp.
Eric (as Director Löw): This is not what I thought it would be when I get to run a camp. God. If I had more if only I had more time. they told me, you only have, the camp is only eight weeks. And we could figure it out. We could get it right if we had more time. And Jimmy should not go home to Mrs. Johnson, definitely, God.
Eric: She flips around her ring of keys and holds the whistle.
Eric (as Director Löw): God, I shouldn't have yelled at Carrie-Ann, she's so annoying. Oh. she doesn't know better than me. I'm the Director. I'm figuring it out.
Eric: And she's squeezed her hand around the whistle when she opens it, and it's kind of just like all black soot in her hand. She says–
Eric (as Director Löw): God fuck. I just need the metallurgy hut to make me like four decoys. I keep, I keep crushing them when I'm mad about Carrie-Ann.
Julia: Specifically about Carrie-Ann.
[theme]