Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #246-01: staff members should strongly encourage all campers to participate in their age group’s summer musical. Regardless if they are pop-u-lar or need to be more chill, this is the perfect opportunity for campers to go the distance, let the sunshine in, and become one singular sensation.
Rule #256-02: you must have a driver’s license to drive the surrey with the fringe on top.
Sponsors
- D and Tea, where you can save 15% by signing up for a subscription at dandtea.com
- Twenty Sided Store, our friendly local game store! Use code JTPCAMP online or mention Join the Party in-store for 20% off your first order.
- BetterHelp, a secure online therapy service. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty
Find Us Online
- website: jointhepartypod.com
- patreon: patreon.com/jointhepartypod
- twitch: twitch.tv/jtpsidequests
- youtube: youtube.com/c/jointhepartypodcast
- twitter: twitter.com/jointhepartypod
- instagram: instagram.com/jointhepartypod
- tumblr: jointhepartypod.tumblr.com
- merch & music: jointhepartypod.com/merch
Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: The best friends ran their errands. Phoebe binds and kills Frederick the Frog for good, enchanting her bow with his skin and frog facts. Carrie-Ann and Les meet Avery, a camper who lived for so long underneath the big gym, they fused with the stuff down there. Carrie-Ann, for one, was pretty freaked out by that. Avery gave her the first camp handbook, which had a series of symbols written in the back of the book: An eyeball, a log, a tombstone, two quarter rest symbols, a four leaf clover, a paw, a tree, a sun and a wall. Is this finally the time we're going to have a musical episode? Let's get the party started.
[theme]
Eric (as John Bonez Bones): [on the P.A system] Good morning campers. This is John Bonez Bones with the morning, morning, morning report. Pew pew pew!
Julia: It's a report now, wow.
Eric (as John Bonez Bones): [on the P.A system] I am professionalizing a little bit more. The lunch today is meatloaf.
Julia: Waffles.
Eric (as John Bonez Bones): I feel no way one way or another. No, it's just meatloaf. I know it's so weird.
Julia (as Phoebe): Is Springer okay?
Brandon (as Les) Uh. Did Springer get fired?
Julia (as Phoebe): What happened to Springer?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Did Springer get broken up with?
Eric: (as John Bonez Bones): [on the P. A system] Springer. Everyone stop checking in on Springer, they're fine. And also, everyone gets excited about the Saber Wing Musical.
Julia: Oh no.
Eric (as John Bonez Bones): [on the P. A system] The highlight of the summer drama season.
Julia: Oh no.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as John Bonez Bones): [on the P. A system] We still don't know what the musical is. But I hope it's interesting. The Prince of Egypt, good. Wicked, bad. I don't like it when they pretend to fly.
Eric (as John Bonez Bones): [on the P. A system] Just makes me feel bad.
Brandon: [laughs] Is he jealous?
Eric: (as John Bonez Bones): [on the P. A system] Yeah, of course, I'm jealous. All humans want to fly. What happened when you look out the window, and you look at birds, and you're like, I wish I was that. Instead of this human coil I'm stuck upon.
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda: I do wish that.
Julia: Same mood.
[birds in the background]
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: What would Springer's version of the pre-show cellphone announcement being—I guess doesn't apply at camp, but like does Springer do this sort of like—
Eric (as Springer): Hey kids, stop it.
Amanda: Good.
Julia: That's it?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And then it's like it was In the Heights, Springer says it in Spanish.
Brandon: [laughs] I know Springer says it in front of Hamilton, it's old English.
Amanda: Old American, Brandon.
Eric: I say the true thing. That does happen In the Heights
Julia: Brandon just lying again.
Brandon: What would Springer do if they had to wrap it, in front of Hamilton, Eric?
Eric (as Chef Springer): My name is Springer over here to say. I love the revolution in a major way.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: That’s right.
Brandon: Didn't really get the cell phone message across. But that sounds like a—
Eric (as Chef Springer): Put your cell phones away. Stop it. Les, stop talking. We're about to start.
[Eric and Brandon laugh]
Eric: Alright. The Saber Wing Musical is the highlight of this summer. This is when the oldest age group, they really flex their muscles after doing years and years of experience doing musicals at camp. They really try to blow it out as much as possible. Hey, what musical are they doing?
Julia: Eric, I was going to ask a different question, which was, what musical did we do when we were Saber Wings?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Oh, that's a great question. What musical did you all do when you were Saber Wings?
Julia: My Fair Lady.
Amanda: Good.
Brandon: That's pretty good.
Amanda: Good. And this year's The Music Man.
Brandon: Yeaaah.
Amanda: Classic.
Julia: A claaassic.
Brandon: One of the only ones I know.
[Brandon and Julia laugh]
Eric: Now, can I offer you an exchange? A musical version of the movie Die Hard?
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Sure.
Julia: Is Die Hard out yet?
Eric: Yes. [laughs] Yes it is.
Julia: Hmm. Interesting. Sorry. I have a question. Because now Eric has put it in my head. Do they do musicals like that-- Do you remember the viral video of the little kids doing a musical version of Scarface?
Eric: Yeah, probably. Yeah, I think it's like that.
Julia: Yeah. Okay.
Amanda: They can't afford real rights. So why not? So then what was our, what was our movie? Did we do the Matrix and just did a lot of like slo-mo bullet fights?
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: [sings] Guns, lots of guns.
Amanda: [sings] Work is a trap.
Julia: [sings] The red pill or the blueeee.
[Brandon and Amanda laugh]
Eric: [chant] Red or blue? Red, red or blue?
Eric and Brandon: Red, or blue? Red, red, or blue.
Amanda: Pick one.
Brandon: [chant] Ochre, or peach. Oc—
[everyone laughs]
Eric: Nope. Brandon, you're confusing fiction and real things again. That's a real musical, that really happened.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Eric: So what are the three of you doing to help the Saber Wings put on their musical?
Amanda: I think Carrie-Ann has single-handedly taken over sets and carpentry because she sure is not going to allow anybody else to get near the weird person embedded in the walls under the auditorium.
Julia: Make sense.
Brandon: Wow, they have a name, Amanda.
Amanda: Yeah, it's Avery. And if I say that name too many times, we might suddenly have a haunting on our hands.
[Brandon laugh]
Julia: Terrifying.
Brandon: Could Avery be the—like if we did um. What's the—oh shit. Once Upon a Time in the Woods or whatever the fuck it's called. That one—
Julia: Into the Woods Brandon?
Brandon: Yeah, Into the Woods. Uhhh. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood in the Woods.
Amanda: Hmm
Eric: Tarantino directing Into the Woods.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Can Avery just be the tree in the background? That'd be great.
Amanda: I mean, we know every theater has a ghost. We should have seen this coming seriously.
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda: But you know, Carrie-Ann is single-handedly getting all the like sets and backgrounds, and any props that are stored under the stage, because she will not let anybody else down there.
Eric (as Avery): The butcher papers right there. You're so close. It's underneath the stop sign a kid stole at some point. Avery became a bad Nic Cage.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Julia: Phoebe surprisingly is in charge of the choreography.
Brandon, Eric, and Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: I wish you wouldn't guess. But Phoebe did take dance classes and was almost on the cheerleading squad.
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: So she's actually quite versatile when it comes to like, movement.
Eric: I like it. Great. What does that look like?
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh five, six, seven, eight.
[Eric and Amanda laugh]
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric: And a bunch of kids go, step to the right, step to the left.
Julia (as Phoebe): Grapevine!
Eric: Put your hands up.
Eric: Great—
[Eric and Brandon laugh]
Amanda: Julia I was about to say grapevine! Box step. Reverse box step.
Julia (as Phoebe): Charlie Brown.
Eric: And then John McClane goes here.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Oh my god, who's the kid that plays the cop? That would be a great role.
Julia: I shot a kid.
Eric: Well, because it's because it's a Saber Wing Musical. I feel like they do. And this happened to my camp all the time. They really tried to blow it out as much as possible. So it's like Reginald Veljohnson's character. Like literally, there's a second stage like on the other side of the auditorium.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: Or of the of the big gym.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: So like they set up like a one. It's like a real theatre in the round situation.
Amanda and Julia: Wow.
Brandon: Please, Eric, get it right. It's Reginald Jean Valjeanson.
[Julia giggles]
Eric: Brandon again. You're mixing up fake and real people. Brandon, I'm concerned, did you take the blue pill this morning?
Brandon: [sings] I took the blue pill and now I'm here.
Eric: Now I know kung fu. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: I know that this is the oldest age group, but I am just picturing like five and six-year-olds sort of like playing office drones in the background in like the beginning of the Matrix sort of scene setting.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: You know, before we burst through and they're all in like, rags and fishing nets and being like, I have a buzz cut and I work on a ship.
[Brandon and Amanda laugh]
Julia: Amanda, how long has it been since you saw the Matrix?
Amanda: A few months?
Julia: Okay.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: I don't want to know. Oh, I do want to know, yeah. I think during the scene where Neo bursts forth from the—the cell. Somebody just has a garden hose with like their thumb over it.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Incredible.
Brandon: [laughs] First child nudity in any camp play.
Eric: Uh—What's up?
Brandon: But it’s just the ass.
Eric: What's Les doing? Well, how Les is contributing?
Brandon: Uhhhh. Les? I'm not 100% sure, because Les definitely can't sing. Like for sure, Les can't sing. Like he's kind of the person who is there for like moral support, but like in order to have a job, he like—does the like catering for lack of a better word, like the craft, like the snacks and making sure everyone gets lunch.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: And make sure no one—like anyone who needs water while they're on stage, makes sure stays hydrated.
Amanda: Brandon, Les is the Assistant Stage Manager.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah that.
Eric: I like that. I think it's funny.
Brandon: [sings] Can you tell which of us has never been in a play?
Eric: You can just run up snacks to people. I think that's okay.
Julia: Brandon, you're the one that's like feeding the little kids their lines when they forget them at the side of the stage.
Amanda: That's right.
Julia: Being like, “I shot a kid. That's your line. I shot a kid.”
Brandon: And then during the first actual showing at the stage, he's off on the side stage repeating all the lines like wordlessly, with a tear rolling down his cheek.
Amanda: Exactly. Exactly.
Eric: You memorize everyone's lines, to feed them lines?
Amanda: Yes. Yes.
Julia: That's so sweet.
[Brandon giggles]
Eric: I shot a kid [laughs]
[Julia laughs]
Brandon: Something, something steak, girl in a red dress, something.
Julia: Okay, hold on. [laughs] Which play are we doing? Cause it's—is it Die Hard? Or it is Matrix?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: You guys pick the Matrix as campers. This is currently Die Hard.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: You were right.
Brandon: Oh, we're actually doing Die Hard, I thought we were gonna do whatever Amanda suggested.
Amanda: No, no, but Eric because Jane hurt his leg. Is he the director? Who's directing this play?
Eric: Yes. Usually, Jane directs, but this is actually going to be one of the counselors of the Saber Wings, who is Claudius Doom.
Julia: Wooow.
Brandon: That's a fucking cool name.
Eric: Yeah. He is five-four. He wears a button-down every day. It is usually a Hawaiian shirt, but now it is a flowy blouse.
Brandon: You gotta.
Eric: It’s a flowy white blouse. He's wearing jumpers because he thinks that's what directors are supposed to wear.
Julia (as Phoebe): Did I date him in high school? What's happening here?
Eric: Yeah you dated him before Jake. Yeah. He had his hair slicked back and he’s got glasses on the chain.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Claudius Doom): Alright, people we're gonna take this from the top. Russians, I need more—you know, I need more vague Eastern European accents. John McClane, your feet hurt. There are glasses of jump around. Also, are you're gonna shave your head before? Great, great, wonderful.
Brandon: Now, is it a problem that neither I nor Les has ever seen Die Hard?
Eric: No, it's not a problem.
Amanda: Brandon, I mean, it's a personal problem, but we'll let it slide.
Julia: We'll figure it out.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Claudius Doom): Hey, CITs I need you here right now, everyone. Hey, CIT, CITs.
Eric: And this is all the three of you. And of course, the group of other CITs, are a lot of kids that are working to help get this Saber Wing Musical to come together. So Jennii, and Conway, and Dougie Juice are all there as well.
Julia (as Phoebe): Guys, guys, before we joined the group. Did you guys know that Conway and Jennii are dating now?
Brandon (as Les): What?!
Julia (as Phoebe): They're dating.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, I kind of figured.
Brandon (as Les): What?
Julia (as Phoebe): I saw them holding hands.
Brandon (as Les): Oh. My. God.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Wow. Wow. Wow.
Brandon (as Les): That's the—that's the biggest news I've— I've heard since—that's the biggest thing I've seen and or heard or—or experienced since we started going to camp.
Julia (as Phoebe): It's big camp news. Big camp news.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You know, I thought we understood Conway after like all of the stuff that we realized, but now I realized that, that kid’s a mystery to me, man.
Julia (as Phoebe): They're—they're a fascinating person.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric: I love it. Jennii and Conway come bounding in from outside, and through like a garage door. It's like “Sorry we were kissing.”
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): I was about to ask if they were kissing.
[Amanda and Eric laugh]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What a power move.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann has like a notebook of power moves and writes that one down.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Dougie Juice rolls out from underneath the bleachers with a pillow.
Brandon: I was gonna say like the one thing that got Dougie Juice out of his bed is apparently, uh musical. Which is pretty cool.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Dougie do you have carbon monoxide poisoning? I've been reading about it. It makes you sleepy.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): What?
Brandon (as Les): Have you been seeing ghosts? Or hearing voices?
Julia (as Phoebe): That's also carbon monoxide.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Dougie): You three are so fucking dumb. All of you, individually and as a group.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Sure. Sure.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): Alright. Hey, everyone. Come on, collect. Listen, I need all six of you to get it in gear. We have less than 24 hours before the musical is supposed to go on, and we are having serious, serious problems.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh. I would like to say that all of the cast has now mastered the grape vine, so I think we're in a good place when it comes to choreography.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): Phoebe di— Phoebe did Bob— Bob Fauci just teach them the grapevine? No, it was the grapevine, then they extended their hand out really—really dramatically, well that was happening.
Julia (as Phoebe): And they did a great job with it. I don't see what the problem is.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Claudius Doom): Yes, Les, you're holding your hand up.
Brandon (as Les): Uh yeah. Doctor, doctor, Director Claudius Doom, umm Triple D? Is it bad that I ate all the fake blood? It tasted— it tasted good. I put it on top of the brownies. It tasted real good.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): I want you to go outside and vomit post-haste.
[Julia and Brandon laugh]
Eric (as Claudius Doom): It's the least of my problems. Does anyone else have any issues that I need to know because I'm stressed—I am having it up to here!
Eric: And it comes up to like Les's nipples where he's holding his hand.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Sir, that's inappropriate.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): I'm not holding up to his nipples. Also, I'm like—
Julia (as Phoebe): Why did you put your hand right next to Les when you did it?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Claudius Doom): I'm also 17, I—do not call me sir. Come on. How am I gonna get into NYU Tisch with this buffoonery happening?
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (Carrie-Ann): There were a lot of real crystal champagne glasses back there. So you know we're—we're good set-wise. We're getting cocktail tables like, I don't know what they used to do here with fundraising wise, but lot a—a lot of stuff back there.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): [sighs] Do something with it Carrie-Ann, take them out!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [sighs] Claudius.
Brandon (as Les): Um. This, I wanted to make this joke a while ago, but I just wanted to hard cut to Carrie-Ann as camp director at the age of 38. And she walks into the cafeteria for the first time to welcome the campers and she says “we were kissing”!
[Amanda and Eric laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, also on the notebook is, carrying a large coffee.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Being a single mom, wearing a lot of keys, and multiple lanyards. It's just a description of the director really.
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hope she hasn't find that because that won’t be creepy.
Julia (as Phoebe): No, not at all.
Julia: And then it's— it's all descriptions of the director and then saying sorry, I'm late. I was kissing.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: [sings] One of these things is not let the other.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Claudius Doom): I'm—let—I'm having it up to here!
Eric: And now it's up to like Les's neck. He’s on tiptoes.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): I want to take a walk. I gotta take a walk. I'm taking a walk.
Brandon (as Les): Take a walk. Take a walk.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): We're taking five.
Julia (as Phoebe): Do you want to give us a to-do list before your walk or we're just—
Eric (as Claudius Doom): [shouts] I WON'T! FIGURE IT OUT!
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Hey Dr. Doom.
Brandon: And he—Les throws him a Capri-Sun for his walk.
Eric (as Claudius Doom): Thank you.
Eric: Drives out of there. He'd be—he tried to puncture that Capri-Sun and he's walking out the front door, you could see it's like these big, these like gym double doors they can get propped open and you can like see him out of this little hallway outside, and then you hear [dinosaur roar] and a giant bone dinosaur foot just comes down and slams into the ground.
Amanda: What?
Brandon: What?!
Julia: What the fuck?!
Eric: Phoebe, give me your premonition.
Julia: Sure.
[dice roll]
Brandon: Eric, did you think it would take us 18 minutes to get to this point? [laughs]
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah.
Julia: I got an 8.
Eric: What do I do? What do you do on an 8?
Julia: The great fucking question Eric, hold on.
Amanda: Oh, baby.
Brandon: Sondheim. That's his name.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: There we go. Good job, buddy.
Eric: There it is.
Brandon: I couldn't remember.
Julia: You get clouded images of something bad that has yet to happen. Mark the experience if you stop it.
Eric: Clouded images, yeah.
Julia: I did just see a giant bone claw come out of the sky.
Eric: Yeah Phoebe. I mean I think, [background instrumentals] you see that, and then immediately you're in your head. It's all dream-like, It's like your hand is moving like you're on slow shutter speed, and everything's all dreamy. And then you see that you're in a building and the roof gets ripped off. And then you see the same bone dinosaur foot just slammed down on you, and you wake up before you die.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhhhhhh…
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: All six CITs run out. And so to all of the campers, as they are looking up and they see a like 30-foot tall, bone skeleton dinosaur. It kind of looks like vaguely like a T-Rex, but with somehow longer opposable arms, just kind of stomping around going [dinosaur roars] One of the campers runs out and says–
Eric (as Camper): Oh, no it's Bonezilla!
Eric: And runs away.
Eric (as Phoebe): What?
Brandon (as Les): What?
Julia (as Phoebe): Is that something that's—Is that a real thing?
Brandon (as Les): I gotta rush over to Dr. Doom and see if he's okay.
Eric: Oh, he's fully flattened. He looks like a pancake. He's dead.
Julia: WHAT?!
Amanda: WHAT?!
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: Carrie-Ann, you have a—your walkie-talkie goes off in the pocket that you have from the director.
Amanda: I'm gonna like hold my arms out to try to like usher the kids back in, as I like hold the walkie-talkie to my ear, like I'm a suburban mom with a corded telephone.
Eric (as Director Löw): Hey, Carrie-Ann, it's Director. So we have a little bit of a situation. Seems like there’s--
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Claudius is dead!
Eric (as Director Löw): Yeah. That seems like, that could seem like something that would happen. Um. Listen, there's a Bonezilla walking around. We're gonna try to get something to figure that out. But can you just like, keep the kids in, who are doing the musical inside of the gym?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yes!
Eric (as Director Löw): That'd be great.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh my god.
Eric (as Director Löw): Yeah, yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Uh, everyone goes inside right now. Uh, there are extra brownies in there.
Julia (as Phoebe): We're gonna have a candle lighting ceremony before the play. Everyone get inside, and we're gonna get into a circle and light candles.
Eric (as a Camper): I'm gonna say all my feelings.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Exactly.
Julia (as Phoebe): Great.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): If you have a crush on someone and you didn't tell them yet, now's the time, start thinking about that, okay?
Brandon (as Les): I heard that candle-lighting ceremonies work best in the, in the basement, right?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, Les, no.
Julia (as Phoebe): Not in the crawlspace with the creepy person.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Not in the—not in the basement. We don't want to go in there. No, we're gonna just go on the stage.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, cool. Okay,
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Hmm.
Brandon (as Les): We're all gonna die.
Eric (as Boo): I'm gonna say things too. I'm gonna say things to kids I haven't spoken to, but I gotta tell them I love them.
Julia: Okay, Eric, I have an idea. And guys play with me in this space and tell me if you think this is a good idea.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: We're going to do the candle lighting ceremony, and we're going to use the kids’ energy to use some big magic.
Amanda: Yes we are.
Julia: To create like a protective dome over the theater.
Amanda: Yes we are.
Eric: Great. Great fucking idea, Julia.
Amanda: Yes, we are. And I am going to go into the crawlspace and ask Avery for help.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Before you do that, Carrie-Ann, let's do your beginning a mystery move.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Does Les have a beginning of mystery move now?
Brandon: Yeah, I would like to use the move, I have called the things I've seen. When I encounter a creature or phenomenon. I may declare that I've seen it before. The Keeper may ask me some questions about that encounter, and then will tell me one useful fact I learned, and one danger I need to watch out for.
Amanda: What a life this 14-year-old has led.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: As we know, Les has watched the TV show Digimon and so has seen a bone dinosaur before.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Well, I actually asked Brandon this a few days ago. Because I was anticipating this, was that like a lot of the things that they feel like Charles Forte and the monster-figure-outers are kind of like. “Hey, is this popular culture thing, a real thing or not?” And I asked Brandon if Les believed in Godzilla or not. So I wanted to know if you've done any research or if you've seen a Godzilla, like looking into Kaiju-sized creatures before.
Brandon: Yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, because obviously, like any 14-year-old boy, you know, loves the Godzilla movies, along with lots of many other people of other different genders. Godzilla movies are agender and everyone loves them.
Julia: It's true.
Brandon: But—
Amanda: Godzilla is actually its own gender.
Brandon: Uh-huh, exactly.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: So he's definitely seen all of them. So he would have like looked up, like what's the like mythology or like, you know, the lore around it? And I don't think he just like scientifically, like, how would a creature like that survive again. It is sort of the same problem of like, food source problem.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: But maybe he like— maybe he went to like a Godzilla themed theme park or something. And like, saw Bonezilla. And, you know, assumed it was mechanical. But I don't know, maybe it wasn't.
Eric: I like you go into a Godzilla themed theme park. Because I'm sure that exists somewhere or did at some point.
Julia: Naturally.
Brandon: Yeah. He went to Japan with his family when he was like, 12.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. And they only went to Godzilla-themed things. I like that.
Brandon: Uh yeah. [laughs]
Eric: Yeah, I think the thing that you learn, is that Godzilla, once all the death, the destruction is out of the way. Is like, either it's a creature who has a problem, and is like, hey, stop doing this bad thing to me. Or it's another creature that's being controlled by something else. So they're—when you're dealing with Kaiju, or monsters of very large size, they always have a reason for what they're doing. However, you can't ask them because they're too busy being destructive monsters.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You know what I mean?
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Eric: So I think that is the thing, is like, there's always a reason of what's happening here. And it's usually very concrete. And I don't want to say simple, but it's straightforward. Like for Godzilla, it's like, Hey, you guys dropped a nuclear bomb near me. And I'm pissed. Like, can you overfish the waters, you know?
Brandon: And he is like—
Brandon (as Godzilla): Stop with the nuclear arms race, roar!
Eric: Right. Exactly. And there's also always wanton destruction that happens.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Did you like my impression, Julia of Godzilla?
Julia: It was great. It sounds like every Godzilla movie I've seen. So, makes sense.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Wonderful. Okay, yes. Let's go back to the things y'all wants to.
Amanda: Uh, I roll a 7 on my beginning of sect move. So I have to get admission associated with the mystery. And if I do it, I'll get info or help. Is this one, keep the kid safe?
Eric: I would say that the, the director would say.
Eric (as Director Löw): Hey, try to keep everyone calm. We're figuring this out. I don't know any other skeleton guy that's existing here. So if you want to go deal with Steven, I would love it if you did that. That would be really help—that would be very helpful to me.
Julia (as Phoebe): Shit.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'll add it to my list. Sure.
Eric (as Director Löw): Thank you.
Brandon: [laughs] Oh, getting sassy.
Eric (as Director Löw): Sorry, Carrie-Ann I didn't hear you. It sounds like someone else took the—took the walkie-talkie from you?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, it was Dougie. Um, no problem, bye.
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay. [laughs]
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So that's—that's a little another cram for you, is that was like hey, skeleton, skeleton. That's probably bad.
Brandon: That just sounds like—like someone putting a pattern together. That may not necessarily be a pattern. Yeah.
Amanda: We'll see.
Julia: The director who knows more than us about stuff.
Amanda: I do also just want to say that um, Carrie-Ann went to the lost and found in between when we first met Avery and now—and got a children's backpack in the shape of a turtle shell, and is wearing it with the old camp handbook inside it. So as soon as they get all the children in there, she is going to reach back, she's like been doing arm stretches to train herself, to like take the book right out of her backpack without taking off the backpack, exactly. Like when you are able to like itch between your shoulder blades. And she furiously pages through to see if there's anything to do with skeletons or dinosaurs or monsters.
Eric: Sure. Why don't you investigate a mystery here?
[dice roll]
Amanda: Yes, baby. Alright. I got 10 plus 1 for an 11.
Eric: Wonderful.
Julia: Youuu.
Brandon: Wow.
Eric: Beautiful. Good job.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: I also can tell you since this is a phenomenon, you get some different questions that you get to ask. The questions are usually what happened here? What sort of creature is it? What can I do? What can hurt it? Where did it go? What is it going to do? What is being concealed here? A lot of those you can't really do because you already know what it is. There's a big Bonezilla happening, right? The other questions you have are, how is the phenomenon doing this? What could fix it, cure it or slow it down? How far does the effect reach, and what will be affected next?
Amanda: What do you guys think? We got two questions here.
Brandon: What will be affected next will be helpful.
Amanda: I think maybe how's this phenomenon doing this? Like if—like if there's something animating or agitating the creature.
Brandon: I take mine back. Yeah, I think we should do the first two. How is it doing this and how—what would fix it or slow it down?
Amanda: Sound good to you, Julia?
Julia: Yeah, I think so. Cause I don't think how far does the effect reach is useful in this scenario.
Brandon: Because it's the stride of one Godzilla? [laughs]
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Right. And like the—the only like, I can make an argument for what will be affected next in that like what will be targeted next, but because Phoebe's goal is to make sure these kids don't get fucking murdered by a giant Godzilla, I think that's less of an issue for her. So the first two definitely.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Uh wonderful. I'm going to keep these in our pocket once we resolve this and once you find more, but I will answer them very shortly. What I really want to do is, I want to do this big magic with Phoebe.
Julia: Yeaaah.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. I absolutely love the feeling of wearing an outfit that's all black because I am a New Yorker through and through. But then because it's cold enough outside, I can just pop on a beanie and a scarf as my pop of color. And I feel stylish. I feel like I have a composed outfit on. But in reality, I'm just keeping my neck and my little ears warm. Welcome to the mid-roll. It's finally getting chilly. Thank goodness. First and foremost, thank you to the fine beautiful people who joined our Patreon over the last week. Alerted toast, Adam, Mikael, Rob, and Alchemist, your support on Patreon not, not just you five but all the people who support us on Patreon is what allows us to make Join the Party as our job weekly with no bad Tuesdays in sight. It's been almost a year since we went weekly if you can believe it. And as we wrap up the campaign and go into campaign three, we're not taking off any time, your support lets us put in the work now to make sure that when we launch an expansive, impressive ambitious new project, you get the chance to enjoy it without interruption. And listen, if you can't get enough Join the Party in your life. You gotta join Patreon. All Patrons get Party Planning our bi-weekly bonus podcasts where we play games, give advice and just have a good time with one another, just for Patrons. You can get ad-free episodes, bloopers, and even one on one time with Eric or a private one-shot with all four of us. It's so good. But best of all, in my opinion, is your golden ticket. All Patrons get to the single best place on the internet. And that's Join the Party's Patreon only Discord people. Every hour of the day, there are people in there sharing recipes, pet photos, stories, links, advice and just having a good time. It is truly one of my favorite things about my job, is checking Discord first thing in the morning. I love it. Join us, it's worth it. patreon.com/jointhepartypod. It is a great day to check out another show in the Multitude collective because pretty soon a bunch of us will be traveling, we'd be visiting family or friends or heading home or seeing your friends travel and head home as you stay where you are. And it makes me really contemplative. And I love to listen to Next Stop when I'm in that kind of mood. This is an audio sitcom that Multitude made in 2020, written by Eric directed by Brandon, and Assistant directed by Julia directed it, you know what I mean. All about the turbulent time in your mid to late 20s. When everyone's changing around you, and you're kind of worried you might not catch up. Across the 10 episodes of the first season, all of which are available for you to marathon now. We follow three roommates who deal with life stuff, work, relationships, friendships, and more. They grow together as a unit no matter what life throws at them. And listen, I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother recently that just like slammed me over the head with the fat phobia and I was like good lord, and Next Stop instead, is a solidly 21st-century sitcom, but gives you something to laugh at without punching down. It's truly a thing that I so appreciate about Eric's work and about the kinds of things we make here at Multitude, is it makes you laugh without laughing at someone and punching down. Listen, check it out search for Next Stop in your podcast app or go to nextstopshow.com We are sponsored this week by D&Tea which our lovely community Manager Roo has been buying and loving for years. They make incredible teas that are also incredible value for your RPG session. Listen a huge four-ounce bag of tea is just $15 and they even have a discount for subscriptions. But the thing that makes it particularly tasty, pun intended for Join the Party listeners, is that they are themed. So if you are going to be playing in a tavern, you can get tavern brawl tea, or you can get the Underdark and chill tea which has an earl grey bass with lavender and vanilla notes. You can buy it for yourself, for your party, for your GM, or as a gift for friends. Everybody loves something that's like a little bit nicer than they might buy for themselves, and this is an affordable but ala so lovely thing that you can buy your friends. And if you get three or more bags of tea, they have an adorable gift box with a dungeon map on the inside. So you can, you know keep the box and save it from the recycling a little bit longer. Trust me you're gonna love it. Go to DandTea , D A N D Tea.com. Where subscriptions come at 15% off if you sign up for a recurring subscription of tea. They have been so great to work with, trust me you are going to love it. I know I do. DandTea D AND Tea.com or click the link in the description. We are also sponsored by Twenty Sided store in Brooklyn, New York. This of course is Join the Party, the oldest sponsor, and one that we are so excited to welcome back to the show. I recently remembered that Catan is a good game and wanted to look at expansions and buying a copy for my house because somehow I don't have one. And you know where I went. I went to the Twenty Sided store. You can shop in the actual store in beautiful Williamsburg Brooklyn, or shop online for games, puzzles, gaming gear, notebooks, dice, dice bags, and swag, they are so fun. Co-owners and Co-founders Lauren and Luis were the first people to support us back when we launched. We've done live shows at Twenty Sided store, we use their swag. I use their tote bag for groceries like all the time. And it means the absolute world to send you their way to support them. You can use the code JTPCAMP, all one word for 20% off your first purchase online. Or if you go in person, just mentioned Join the Party and they will give you that discount. Again that's in store in Williamsburg, Brooklyn mentioned Join the Party or use the code JTPCAMP for 20% off your first purchase at twentysidedstore.com. And finally, the show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now I— when I'm not sure what to do in combat, right when we're playing D&D, I look at my character sheet. When in Monster of the Week. I'm like, Ha, what do I want to do next? I look at my playbook. And I wish that that was available for my mental health as well. Because there are times where I'm like, oh god, does everyone feel this way? Is this normal? Is this how it should be? Why? Why is this so hard for me again and again and again? And I wish I could flip to some handy reference manual and check it out. But you know, what I do instead is take notes on things that confuse or frustrate me, and then I talk about it with my therapist. And as an introvert who doesn't like to leave her house and also needs to talk to my therapist at kind of strange hours, either in the morning or in the evening, or on weekends. I so appreciate the flexibility of BetterHelp. As the world's largest therapy service, BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online, plus it's affordable. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with a therapist, and if things aren't clicking you can easily switch to a new therapist anytime it couldn't be simpler. No more waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's Better H E L P.com/jointheparty. And now let's get back to the show.
[end of midroll]
Eric: So Phoebe so you're doing the candlelight, like the all—the all these 13-year-olds are running around getting ready to tell each other their crushes. And you—everyone pulls out candles.
Amanda: There are battery-operated candles, I must say.
Julia: Yes. So I think everyone has little battery-operated candles that Phoebe hands out, and is like everyone's—
Julia (as Phoebe): Sit in a circle, alright.
Julia: Phoebe then grabs some of the fake blood that Les was eating earlier, and starts drawing like circles and symbols around the kids.
Amanda: Great.
Brandon: That’s metal as fuck.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Yep. Very good.
Eric: It is just red cornstarch. But it is pretty funny.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. Corn syrup and chocolate syrup.
Eric: And sweet—and sweet and delicious treat. I think from-- as you're arranging the kids, the other group of CITs, Jennii is just like.
Eric (as Jennii): What? What's happened? What are—what's happening here? What are you doing?
Julia (as Phoebe): It's the candle lighting ceremony Jennii, you've never did one of these before?
Eric (as Jennii): Mine doesn't involve blood on the floor.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh, It's just for ambiance. Okay, Jennii?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Jennii): If we're sacrificing a camper you need a form.
Julia (as Phoebe): We're not sacrificing. What?—Wait, what form do I need to sacrifice a camper?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Wild thing to say. Wow.
Eric (as Jennii): The sacrifice requisition form.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, well we're not doing, Jennii.
Eric (as Jennii): Oh my God you— the three of you don't know anything oh.
Julia (as Phoebe): Jennii, you've been keeping forms from me?!
Eric (as Jennii): No. It's all the same forms. Oh my God, we're not dealing with this. Conway let's go.
Eric: And Conway turns into a kelpie, and Jennii just does a full running start and hops up onto Conway and Conway goes [neighs] Runs around, gains speed, pulls Dougie up on the back of the kelpie and Dougie's facing backward.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Where are you guys going?
Eric (as Dougie): We're going to save the camp!
Eric: As Dougie Juice gives you all, all three of you both middle fingers and rides out into the camp.
Brandon: Now I'm going to turn to my friends and say.
Brandon (as Les): Look, I don't want to quarrel here but um. I'm pretty sure Jenniifer and Dougie Juice are going to be stuck to that horse.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): So I don't know what they're gonna be able to do. [laughs]
Amanda: Did any of the campers notice?
Eric: No, they're too busy writing down their crushes on pieces of paper.
Julia (as Phoebe): And the lights are off, and the candles are on, they can't see that.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Also all of their eyes are glowing purple, so that will also probably--
Julia (as Phoebe): That also not like super helping with their visual cues here, but.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um. I'm going to just let our downstairs neighbor know what's happening here so that they're not disturbed. I'll be right back, okay?
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, okay.
Brandon (as Les): Uh, do you—are you—you feel safe and cool. You—are you good?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh yeah, yeah, no, we figured out that the stage, that the trapdoor in the prop room goes right down to that—that area so, be right back.
Brandon (as Les): Okay cool. Alright. Just shout uh if you—if something goes wrong, shout uh.
Brandon: Eric, what's a line from Die Hard?
Eric: Say, Ho, ho, ho.
Brandon (as Les): Uhh. Yeah, just scream ho, ho, ho if you need help, okay?
Eric: Or yippee ki-yay, motherfucker. That could work too.
Brandon (as Les): We can't use that language at camp.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, no, that's a very good point. Hey, Les, that's on me. I'm not being a good role model. That's on my bud, that's on me. As you're running out there, Phoebe, you've arranged the campers. There are like 50 campers here, that is way more than enough life energy to start creating a large dome. I don't know for—hey, for all the Jews out there. This is like a—it's like a big sukkah hut. It's a dome, but it's topped with leaves and vines.
Brandon: Oh cool.
Eric: And you can kind of see the sky through it.
Brandon (as Les): Hey, Phoebe.
Julia (as Phoebe): What's up?
Brandon (as Les): Um. I know, I know that I've been, let's say, less than helpful in the past about your magic, but I just want to say that--
Eric (as Camper): Your name is Les. That's funny. I love— [laughs] I love Jeremy.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): But uh, I want to say that I—I am supportive of you and you're kicking ass. And um, would it be helpful if I'd made spooky noises? What would be…?
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh. Do you want to lead the kids in a rendition of [sings] as we go on?
Brandon (as Les): [sings] Go on…
Julia (as Phoebe): [sings] We remember.
Brandon (as Les): [sings in a high pitch] We remember, all the times we’ve had together.
Julia: And all the kids start singing that. And that's what keeps the—the spell going. [giggles]
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric: As long as they're still singing the graduation song, which I think is five hours long.
Brandon: That's right.
Eric: It should be fin—It should be fine. They should be able to protect them all.
Julia: Phoebe finds a boom box that has a skip in it, then it just keeps replaying that song over and over again on the CD.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: That's true. That's true. Um speaking of—I do just want to— this is not important to the story or anything or to the character. But I did come up with tomorrow's headline for the camp newsletter.
Eric: Great.
Brandon: And it's Director Dr. Zoom Defeated by a Dastardly Dead Dino. And I was pretty proud of that.
Julia: Brandon. Brandon… Brandon.
Eric: That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I'm glad you did. Before we move on. I just need—I want to set the scene here and answer your investigative mystery questions. Because it's important that this dome comes up because the roof is ripped off of the gymnasium.
Julia: We did it.
Eric: And then you are like face to face with the Bonezilla that goes [Bonezilla roars]
Brandon and Julia: [sings] As we go on, we remember.
Julia (as Phoebe): [sings] All the times we--
Eric: It's going to the club down on the beach. It's like gnawing on the big dome. And that's when you see, BOOM! Just a massive right hook out of nowhere from a giant stone hand.
Brandon: Yeaaah.
Eric: Which is attached to what I—what kind of looks like the size of a pyramid with like arms and legs attached to it. And it's a giant Stone Johnnie.
Amanda and Julia: Wow.
Brandon: [chants] Kaiju fight. Kaiju fight.
Eric: So it's a cairn and the inuksuk that we've talked about. It's usually when you're hiking. There's like a stack of stones and the shape of a pyramid to indicate which way you went. Les saw this when he was walking into the woods.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: To find the secret hideout that the director went into. But this is a giant version of it, that is just as big as the Bonezilla that comes in with a massive right hook. And here is the phenomenon. Here's what's happening. It's not just that there's a Bonezilla, it's that two giant monsters are fighting each other in the camp. The Bonezilla versus the giant Stone Johnnie.
Brandon: Just like Die Hard. Let's gooooo!
Eric: So how is the phenomenon doing this? It's that's—that's what it is. It's a fight and it's causing wanton destruction. Because you answer this question. I'm now going to tell you the custom move that I've come up for this.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: The move is called Wanton Destruction.
Julia: Oh God. Jesus Christ.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: It's when the— [laughs] when the dinosaur throws away wonton wrappers that he's done.
Julia: Oh, no.
Eric: Yeah. No, that's when I go to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, Brandon.
Brandon: [laughs] There you go. That's the joke, there you go.
Eric: That's true. And I have to roll two D6 to see how full I can get.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So I'm going to set a 10-minute timer. When the timer goes off, one of you must roll plus weird, and whoever goes, it can't repeat until everyone else goes, right? To determine the destruction of this Kaiju fight. On a 10+ something epically is destroyed, but it's really not that big of a deal. And it just looks really cool.
Julia and Brandon: Okay.
Eric: On a 7 to 9, a beloved person is in danger. You're going to roll out a D6 to figure out who, and you can either save them or if you can.
Julia: Oh, no.
Brandon: Oh no.
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: They're in danger. That's like the soft moving. They are in danger, okay?
Amanda: Eric, get Tater Tot the fuck out of your mouth.
Julia: Eric you're not allowed to kill Tater Tot. You're not allowed.
Brandon: No. Tater Tot is safe, right?
[silence]
Brandon: Eric.
Julia: Eric you have to talk.
[Julia laughs]
Brandon: Eric!
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: On a 6 or less, the building you're currently in, is in immediate danger and you need to take action or you're going to have a problem.
Amanda: Damn.
Eric: Okay? So I'm gonna start with a 10-minute timer. Once I'm done explaining this and I answer your questions.
Brandon: Apropos of nothing. I just want to say that like, this is like important to like my very contract. But like I just want to put in a clause, that if a dog dies ever, I quit.
Amanda: [laughs] We're 2 for 2 so far on dogs not dying in our campaigns, so.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: True. Okay, what could fix it, cure it, or slow it down, right?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: So I would say to slow it down. They are massive creatures and you are a teens.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: So, the only very large distractions will catch their eye. In terms of slowing down, you have to do something pretty epic. However, since it is a fight, it's not like you're doing this alone, right? It’s about, do you want to aid the Bonezilla? Or do you want to aid the Stone Johnnie, is kind of up to you. I also want to say to add to what Les figured out from his other move, which is that of course, there's a reason why these creatures exist, right? Who's controlling them? Why are they here and both the stone johnny and the Bonezilla have a guiding purpose, whether it's their own guiding purpose, or they're being controlled as an avatar for something else.
Brandon: Alright, Eric, you don’t have to answer this, but I'm sure my co-players, I am curious if the—that person I found in the woods, was also involved somehow, or was that only—
Julia: Mavis Beacon teaches typing?
Brandon: Yeah. Or if that was only mechanical, I don't know.
Eric: Maybe. If she is in the woods, you could go find her. I also want to say the timer will go down as the epicenter of the fight stays localized within the camp. Currently, the timer is at 10. And it does descend over time.
Amanda: Worst stuff happens as the fight stays near camp.
Eric: More and more Wanton Destruction happens as it continues. Yes.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: Gotcha. I have a Hail Mary that I just thought of. I could go and try to find the big feet people, and go to try to win them over to our side and help us.
Amanda: Could be fun. Could be very dangerous.
Julia: I think for Phoebe, she wants to find whoever is controlling the Stone Johnnie. And like, give assistance in that way. Because obviously, that person is probably using magic, and Phoebe's like–
Julia (as Phoebe): I use magic too. I can help.
Amanda: Yeah, I mean, Carrie-Ann and Avery can stay and hold the fort down in the auditorium since we have a bit of a working relationship. But I think Phoebe if there's any chance that Steven is involved and animating one of these two forces, it's worth either opposing him with the aid of whoever is animating the Stone Johnnie, which seems like it might be a protector of camp, or I don't know, maybe he can be persuaded to help.
Brandon: You know what? I changed my mind. I want to do—yes, I love all this. I want to run up to the director. And just lay it all on the table that I saw them go behind a stone wall, in the Stone Johnnie path, and maybe that's connected. And maybe there's something in that chamber that will help us or tell us a little bit of something.
Amanda: Do it.
Eric: Cool. In what order do you want to do all that? I think that the first thing we should do maybe is Carrie-Ann because she was on the way.
Brandon: Sure.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Boom. Alright. The timer starts now. 10 minutes until the next wanton destruction.
Amanda: Alright. So as the kids are sitting on the stage beginning to tell each other uncomfortable truths about their feelings. Carrie-Ann is going to um, at the back of the stage wall is a little closet that holds all of the like props and breakables and you know, like swords and things that we use for plays, and in there is a trapdoor. She's going to open it up and whisper down.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Hey, hey, Avery, can you make your way up here at all?
Amanda: And stop and listen and see if Avery can shift the mountain of stuff to come any closer.
Eric (as Avery): No. What?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Avery): I'm literally a part of—what? No. That's my whole thing.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, I'm just— I'm kind of supervising some kids up here. So I can't come all the way down. But um.
Eric (as Avery): Okay, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Eric: And you hear some ruffling and some rustling. And then you see that like a big tube of tennis ball cans.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: Like are taped to each other. And it kind of goes all the way, and you got to put your ear up to me like
Eric (as Avery): I can't hear and talk at the same time. Also, I'm extended as far as I can. There's a bumper of a—of a golf cart in my ribs.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I love this invention. So smart. We will definitely like to pass notes and stuff at a different time. Um, I'm just gonna say over.
Eric (as Avery): Please do.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): We can't speak and talk at the same time. [laughs]
Eric (as Avery): Oh, sorry. Okay. I'm listening.
Julia: Gotcha.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm gonna say over when I'm done. Okay, over?
Eric (as Avery): That sounds great, over. It's like having friends. I love it over.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Avery I am your friend, over. Okay, I understand that you're probably having a visual reaction I can't see right now.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, um. So basically there's like a giant skeleton dinosaur fighting what looks to be one of those giants like, like cairns from the—the woods, um so.
Eric (as Avery): They're called Stone Johnnies. It's in the glossary of the handbook.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um. I'm so sorry. I stayed awake reading until I fell asleep last night, but I did sleep um—
Eric (as Avery): How far did you get— how far did you get?
Amanda (as Avery): Um, I got about halfway, over.
Eric (as Avery): Oh. [laughs]
Julia: I forgot about the overs, over.
Eric (as Avery): Oh sorry. Over.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): It's okay, over. I forgive you, over. We're friends, over.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Avery): We're not—our friendship is over? Over.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, no, no, no, like, Oh, God. Okay.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: Eric is doing a little dance
Eric: It's an old-timey joke. Go ahead.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um. I need some help making sure that these kids don't get eaten by these big fights, slash is there anything that you know that could be causing it? I don't know like a pile of bones to become a big dinosaur, or a pile of rocks to become a giant, over?
Eric (as Avery): I don't know about anything specifically. I think if you look in the handbook maybe you could ask—maybe there's something in there.
Amanda: [whispers] Over.
Eric (as Avery): Over.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay yeah I'll do that um.
Eric (as Avery): Don't say oh— I—I can't rem— I don't even know what this is a reference to. What is this a thing? Why do you say over?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um it's like a thing in the military that definitely existed when you were a kid, whenever that was, over.
Eric (as Avery): Oh, we definitely hide—hid below desks and things. Yeah. Over.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, so um, I—what I just need is like, if there's anything trying to compromise the integrity of this building. If there's any like force in connection with the camp that you have forged over your um decades of being kind of one with camp, it'd be really helpful if you helped, like protect these children that I've been charged with, over.
Eric (as Avery): I can try. I can— hopefully, I feel the vibrations throughout camp. There are some large boys walking around, are those—are those trucks? It's like entire buildings are moving.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Can you sense where it— where the energy is starting?
Eric (as Avery): I can sense them moving around. It seems there's a massive tussle happening.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, is there any— Is there anything you want me to like have them go destroy because I feel like my friends could definitely lure them away? Like that camp across the lake. They're kind of bad, right?
Eric (as Avery): I can only—[laughs] I can't make them go across the lake. I only feel their senses here. But hopefully, I can keep them from hurting anyone who's— I hope I can keep them from hurting anyone who needs it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Thank you. Do you want some almonds? I have a bunch in my pocket.
Eric (as Avery): Yes. Send them through the tube.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: [sound of almonds dropping on the tube] And Carrie-Ann drops a handful of almonds in the tube.
Eric (as Avery): I'm eating these almonds, over. They're delicious.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, thanks. I'm gonna close the door, over
Eric (as Avery): They fell out the bottom of my body. I should have thought of that.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, well you can just eat them again. Never-ending almonds
Eric (as Avery): I can't. They're on the—they're on the ground, over. I can't reach them. Over.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, I'll try to send in like a cute hamster or something. I'll work on it.
Eric (as Avery): Thank you.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Squirrels are gonna eat the crap out of Avery.
Eric (as Avery): I'll name him Diogenes.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Great. Over.
Brandon: Oh my God. A cute little like squirrel named Diogenes, who's like the assistant helper person to Avery.
Julia: Oh I love them.
Eric: That's pretty cool. Honestly, that's pretty cool.
Eric (as Avery): Please do that. I love it.
Amanda: Okay, and then Carrie-Ann lays a little trail of almonds from the outside into the tube, in case a chipmunk or a squirrel runs by.
Eric: I'm going to say if Carrie-Ann rolls for Wanton Destruction, I will give you + 1 forward using the vibrations that Avery can control within the camp. Hopefully, you can keep from destroying anything uh, anything special.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: But only if Carrie-Ann does it. Okay, so what do you all want to do? I think Carrie-Ann also if you want to check the book, I think that might also help and you can roll for a sharp move as well. Any of you can roll for a sharp move, as you—as you're reading through the book.
Brandon: Can I toss my book to Carrie-Ann and be like,
Brandon (as Les): Cross reference.
Brandon: As I run out the door to find Director Löw.
Amanda: Will that help us or is that not necessary?
Eric: No. I think that— I think it's [laughs] no it's a lot— it's a lot of books. I think you have a very wide range of, of information here. Who wants to— I think someone else should investigate a mystery.
Julia: Uh. I'll do it.
Eric: Yeah. Phoebe loves to read.
Julia: Phoebe loves reading.
Brandon: Phoebe can read the fastest out of all of us for sure.
Amanda: That's true.
Brandon: Knows how to use an index.
Julia: + my sharp, that is a 10.
Amanda: Oooh.
Eric: I love the idea that you're—that Les is running ahead and Carrie-Ann is running backward while holding the books and flipping it as Phoebe’s reading it.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Oh yeah, we got really good at it when we were in the nurse's office.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Carrie-Ann very stable arms. Thank you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Thank you.
Eric: So again you have these two questions here, and since you rolled a 10, you can either ask me two questions that are written down or one of your—of your choosing.
Julia: Hmm. Flavor wise this is what I'm thinking, like maybe Phoebe can sense the like magical tether from either the Bone Godzilla to what's controlling it or from the Stone Johnnie to what's controlling that.
Eric: I think that's fair to tell you both because one is pretty obvious. Bones to bones, it is Steven who is behind this definitely.
Amanda: Yeah. Great.
Eric: Like you could see the Bonezilla is like um.
Amanda: Does he have like watermelon vines around his ankles?
Eric: Yeah, you— he has watermelon vines around his feet and ankles. But also he means—there's like a big shed where all the campers put there like, you know if you bring duffel bags, so they store them in a shed. And like, and repeatedly goes over there and like, stomps up the shed. And like,
Eric (as Camper): No my bags.
[Brandon and Julia laugh]
Eric: So definitely that's Steven.
Julia (as Phoebe): Carrie-Ann, follow the watermelon vines, that'll take you to Steven.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): On it. Fuck you, Steven.
Eric: [laughs] As you are—are hustling around this, I would also say that um. Sorry, I'm looking at the timer, I'm distracting myself.
Brandon: Yeah. You're wasting our time. It's fine.
Eric: Yeah, I'm wasting your time. As you're flipping through the manual, and near the back, there is an emergency section. And there are there's like, what do you do in case of a nuclear holocaust? What do you do if everyone turns into a vampire? What do you do—
Julia: Phoebe has a panic attack reading the first line.
[everyone laughs]
Eric: What do you do with the zombie apocalypse? And then you go like, Oh, here's what you do in terms of a massive Kaiju fight. The camp has defenses in case a massive Kaiju monster comes within the camp, please refer to your emergency— [laughs] refer to the emergency marshall, as designated in the camp, who has all of the plans and has control over the ultimate protection if a giant monster comes into campgrounds.
Julia: Now, Eric, would they have told us in CIT training who was the designated emergency Marshal?
Eric: That's a good question. Hmm.
Brandon: They did tell Les that he was the Kaiju marshall, but he just thought it was a fun thing that they were doing.
Julia: Because I have a theory as to who it is, and it's a person I will seek out if it was not told to us, but–
Eric: I would say they would probably go over this and it was just in terms of like fire uhh.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: Is like okay--
Amanda: Any event of a fire, you are in charge, get out your cabin out to the lake. And then at the end of the fire drill, the fire marshal is always telling you it's safe to go back.
Brandon: So Amanda, you're the fire marshal for Multitude.
Amanda: I was— I was the designated fire safety person when I worked in the bank.
Brandon: That's nice.
Eric: I was the fire safety person in my old job before Multitude.
Julia: Cute.
Amanda: Wow
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: I wanted to be involved.
Amanda: Cute.
Brandon: And that's why we're all dead and ghosts.
[everyone makes ghostly sounds]
Eric: Yeah. I mean, it's like okay, and then everyone makes sure that you check in with Assistant Director Z, who is the fire marshal.
Julia: That's what I fucking thought, bitch.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Unfortunately the timer for Wanton Destruction has gone off. Which of you would like to role plus weird?
Julia: Alright Amanda, roll for it.
[dice roll]
Eric: See and you got a + 1.
Amanda: Alright. So I rolled an 8, my weird is 2. So that is a 10 + 1 for an 11.
Eric: There you go, good job. Okay, so for Wanton Destruction, something is epically destroyed, but it's not that bad that it's destroyed. What is— What happens and what does it look like?
Amanda: Umm.
Brandon: May I suggest. This isn't fun, but a utilitarian one would be destroyed by the new showers, where all the ooze is coming out. [laughs]
Julia: I can say the new cabin. Yeah.
Amanda: I think it's a new cabin. Yeah.
Eric: It's the whole-- the new cabin is destroyed?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Are—where are all the campers?
Amanda: They're all—they—since they all have crushes on Les, they volunteered to do paint crew for the play.
Julia: So they're all in the theater.
Eric: [laughs] I love the idea, that the—what the camp— the younger campers are doing, they're like no, we don't want to do activities, we want to work with Les.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: All the actors look like when you get into your parents, like makeup drawer when you're like five.
[Julia laughs]
Amanda: Exactly. Like blue eyeliner and like one spot of rouge.
Brandon: I like it.
Eric: Does someone else want to describe the epic Kaiju fight that happens to destroy the cabin?
Julia: Does the Stone Johnnie have like limbs?
Eric: Yeah, he's basically like, it's a stone cairn, that she has like a stack of stones and then like arms and legs.
Amanda: I'm picturing Golett from Pokemon.
Eric: Similar, yeah.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm no expert here on this podcast. But I do think that one of us may be into wrestling.
Julia: So I—I was gonna describe it. Brandon, I appreciate the plug for my wrestling love.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: So I think that at some point during the fight, the Bonezilla, kind of swipes at the stone arm of the Stone Johnnie, and it like dissolves into basically a pile of boulders that smashes the new cabin.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeaaah.
Julia: And then it regrows the arm back.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Julia, is it more epic if it picks up the arm and puts it back on?
Julia: Yes. You know what, Eric? It absolutely is more epic if it does that.
Brandon: Yeaaaah.
Eric: Tabletop RPG storytelling, baby. That's how we do it. Oh, incredible. Alright, so I'm going to start the timer again. It is still 10 minutes. Mmkay?
Julia: Mmkay. Phoebe is going to sprint towards where the magic is telling her Assistant Director Z is.
Eric: Here's the interesting thing. Like if this was a murder board, you firmly made yarn between Bonezilla and Steven. Right?
Julia: Right.
Eric: I would not say that you have a sense of where the magic is. And where Assistant Director Z is.
Julia: Interesting.
Eric Yeah.
Julia: Can I use magic to see if I can connect those two things?
Eric: Sure. Yeah, absolutely.
Julia: Okay.
[dice roll]
Julia: That's a 9.
Eric: Oh, it's a 9. That's good. It works imperfectly, choose your effect and a glitch. Well, so what are— you're looking for, you want to find this kind of like ley line between the Stone Johnnie and Assistant Director Z?
Julia: Right. Like the magical tie between the two.
Eric: Cool. I would say, I mean, this one's pretty straightforward. I would say the effect is weakened. You know Assistant Director Z's in camp, but you can't find him. You don't know where he— you don't know where he is.
Julia: Interesting.
Eric: I don't know if like your Charles magic isn’t working— is on the fritz. Or you can't figure out where he is.
Brandon: Oh dang my Charles magic is on the fritz.
Eric: Actually what I would say is, oh no my fritz magic is on the Charles.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: You're checking in with yourself. You can't figure it out because you don't— you don't know where Charles is either.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cha—Charles?
Eric: You don't feel Charles's presence as strong as you right now.
Julia (as Phoebe): Charles?
Amanda: No.
Brandon: Charles is not in charge of what's happening?
Julia (as Phoebe): No. I— are you— are you there? Bud? Chuck?
Eric: You still have all your magic Phoebe, but you just don't know-- Phoebe, Charles is not like in your back pocket as he usually is.
Julia (as Phoebe): But um. I'm really worried about Charles now. No.
Eric Alright, where are all of you going? What's happening?
Brandon: I'm running directly to Director Löw's Cabin.
Eric Wonderful. Is—And everyone's in chase reading the book at the same time?
Julia: No, I think Phoebe is going to tear off and try to find like, I'm sure there are like locations that ADZ drilled into us, being like in case of emergency you can find me here, here, or here. So I think Phoebe is gonna just try to find one of those locations.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I have a theory but let's test this out first.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Phoebe, I'm going to kill Steven, okay?
Brandon (as Les): Okay, good luck.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh. Great.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Thanks.
Brandon (as Les): Aim true and aim fast. I don't know.
Julia (as Phoebe): If you see a giant magical moose in the forest. Tell him I miss him and I hope he's okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I will. Here's my radio just in case.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Amanda: And I'll pass Phoebe my radio, in case she can radio ADZ.
Brandon: Wonderful.
Julia: Oh, maybe then I'll try to radio ADZ first off, before I run off to like a secondary location.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, try it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh. Excuse me. I'm raising my hand, but over the radio. Assistant Director Z?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric The—the director comes on and says,
Eric: (as Assistant Director Z): Phoebe, only one of you per CIT group is allowed to have the walkie-talkie and that's Carrie-Ann for you.
Julia (as Phoebe): Right. But Carrie-Ann ran off to kill Steven, so I just need to know where ADZ is really quick.
Eric (as Director Löw): What?!
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhh. Director, is ADZ the giant cairn that's fighting right now?
Eric (as Director Löw): Phoebe we told you to call them stone Johnnie.
Julia: (as Phoebe): Okay, is he the giant Stone Johnnie that's fighting right now?
Eric (as Director Löw): Alright uh. Where are the three? Where are the three?
Julia: (as Phoebe): Uh. Right underneath the giant Stone Johnnie and the Bonezilla.
Eric (as Director Löw): Get out of there! Come to my—come to my office.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm trying to help.
Eric (as Director Löw): Please come to my office.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Director Löw): Oh God.
Brandon: Hey, uh Julia, I don't want to correct you or anything, but I'm pretty sure he's a werewolf, so I don't—they [laughs]
Julia: [laughs] Hey, Brandon, it's been my theory that this man is a Golem since like episode two, so shut up.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Alright, so I guess Les and Phoebe are going to go to the director's cabin.
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Okay, great.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: I don't— I don't want to put anything on you, Julia. But maybe as— as we're running towards the cabin and Les looks back and sees Phoebe running. Maybe he slows down and grabbed Phoebe's hands so he can help her run to the cabin faster.
Amanda: Time slows down and the acoustic cover of “As we go on” swells, as your fingers graze.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Phoebe gently squeezes his hand and runs behind him.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: You're drafting off of Les. [laughs]
Julia: Yes.
[Eric and Brandon laugh]
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: But in a cute way.
Amanda: From the woods Carrie whispers, I'm missing a moment and I don't know what it is, but I'm missing it.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric Incredible. I think that the two groups of you split off, Carrie-Ann, you charge into the woods, and with fingers interlaced, Les and Phoebe run toward the director's office.