Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #101: if you’re going to pick a fight with someone or something, at least make sure you’re one standard deviation larger or smaller than them. If you’re smaller, you’re going to get crushed; if you’re bigger, you’re just punching down.
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: A giant monster fight has broken out between Bonezilla and a massive Stone Johnnie. It's a Clash of the Titans, a Kaiju size proxy battle between Steven and the defenders of camp. But the best friends need to get to the bottom of this before there's no camp left to defend as they're working against the clock. The more real-life time the players take, the more likely the Kaiju fight will destroy someone or something precious. After protecting the kids preparing for their musical, Carrie-Ann charges into the woods to confront Steven. And Les and Phoebe run toward the director's office while cutely holding hands. It's Bonezilla! Aaaaah! Let's get the party started.
[theme]
Eric: Alright, we're back in it, with the Bonezilla and the Stone Johnnie fighting each other above you. And then we—we move the camera down to ground level and see Carrie-Ann sprint off towards the woods. And Phoebe and Les in each other's arms?
Julia: Yeah, we’re hugging and also running.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah. Hugging and running at the same time. I also have my timer. So which is at five minutes, which I'm starting now. Who would like to do what first? Who wants to go first?
Julia: Phoebe and Les burst into the director's cabin. And then Phoebe realizes that they're still holding hands and then goes–
Julia (as Phoebe): Egh!
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Then let's go.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Like we weren't doing anything.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: We weren't kissing.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: It's the opposite of a power move. We weren't kissing.
Brandon: [laughs] It's a—it's a weak move.
Eric (as Director Löw): Honestly, I think it's fine for me that I—I like it when campers announce they're not kissing. It makes me feel better, makes me more comfortable. So I'm happy with it. Can I help the two of you? What uh—do you need anything?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, Hi. So there is a giant Bonezilla and a giant jones uh—a giant stone Johnnie that I think is Assistant Director Z.
Brandon (as Brandon): What?!
Julia: (as Phoebe): And we wanted to know if we could help. Yeah.
Eric: Um.
Brandon: And then we get a That’s So Raven flashback in Les's brain, where he puts all the clues together and it's like, oh shit he's not a werewolf.
Julia (as Phoebe): I—Les, I gave you all those werewolf romance novels that you would realize that Assistant Director Z definitely isn't a werewolf.
Eric (as Director Löw): Phoebe, Assistant Director Z is the fire marshal. I told you when you look in the staff handbook, it says the exec— it says that the uh—the executive team of staff is going to just take care of any and all emergencies and for all campers and staff to stay in place.
Julia (as Phoebe): Right. But the original handbook says that the emergency marshal is in charge of keeping the camp safe with the camp defenses.
Eric (as Director Löw): What original staff handbook?
Julia (as Phoebe): The original staff handbook.
Eric (as Director Löw): Why do you have an-- Where—why and where do you have an original staff handbook?
Julia: And Phoebe just like it's like in Phoebe's backpack and Phoebe's like—
Julia (as Phoebe): I—I left it in my cabin. But I—I know for a fact that that's what that says.
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann– Carrie-Ann got a copy of it from eBay. Um.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Eric: Incredible. Phoebe will you manipulate someone? And uh Les, I need you to help out.
Julia: Okay.
[dice roll]
Julia: I got a 9.
Brandon: I got a 5 - 1 for 4.
Julia: Shit. Oh no. [laughs]
Eric: Oh no, let me look at what happens.
Julia: You make it worse, don’t you?
Brandon: I did just fill up my experience bar though.
Eric: There you go.
Amanda: There you go.
Eric: You expose yourself to trouble or danger without helping.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Okay, well, I didn't need help. So that's fine. Everything's fine.
Eric: How– How do you expose yourself for trouble or danger? I would say, um.
Julia: Les is in trouble but Phoebe's fine. [laughs]
Brandon: I just like trip standing still.
Eric: Yeah. [laughs]
Amanda: That's fine, but Les, you really shouldn't let your CIT pod break up like that.
Julia: I was gonna say Les like knocks over like a fancy vase.
[everyone laughs]
Eric: Les you just gesticulate wildly and you hit a vase off of the shelf. And it crashes. You'd be like, Oh—
Julia: The mummy was in there. The mummy’s soul.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah you see a soul comes out of the vase to be like, Les can you wait outside, please?
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon (as Les): Uhhhhh.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhhh. I would really appreciate it if Les was here for moral support.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I also need to ask you about um, uh—I just a—long story short, I followed you into the woods. I followed you through the path of the Stone Johnnies.
Julia: Les [laughs] No. you're making it worse [laughs].
Brandon (as Les): But I did see you go into—
Julia: Phoebe-- [laughs] Phoebe just slaps a hand over his face like, no!
Eric: Aw! Shit!
Brandon (as Les): [muffled voice] I saw you go into a wall--
Eric (as Director Löw): Les you're following— you're following me?
Julia (as Phoebe): Les, no.
Eric (as Director Löw): Les, please go outside. This is a separate issue. I will talk to you about you following me in a moment.
Brandon (as Les): Actually technically I wa—I was following Director Z, it wasn't—er—uh AD Z it wasn't you, but yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Also Director, do you think it's safe that he waits outside while there's a giant kaiju fight?
Eric (as Director Löw): Yeah. Well just to stay— if you stay under the awning, you'll be fine.
[Julia and Brandon laugh]
Julia: She probably his magic or something protecting this cabin, but it's the funniest shit I've ever heard. Yeah, don't worry about the Kaiju fight. If you stay under the awning, you'll be fine.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Also, the timer just went off.
Julia: Oh, fuck.
Eric: So I need one of you. I need one of you to roll plus weird.
Julia: I got it.
Amanda: Oh God.
Eric: Okay. Also because, because a 10 was rolled before, you get a negative 1.
Julia: Okay, well, I rolled an 11 - one is still a 10.
Brandon: Yeah, babyyy.
Eric: Hot damn. There you go. Alright, you're gonna get negative 2. Whoever rolls it next is gonna get a negative -2
Julia: Fuck [laughs]. So something gets destroyed but in a cool way and nothing, and nothing bad happens.
Eric: Yeah, something is epically but not that really that big of a deal, is crushed in the fighting.
Julia: Uh Eric, It's gonna be the loop de loop slide.
Amanda: Yaaaay.
Eric: NOOOOO.
Amanda: That was my thought.
Eric: Incredible.
[Brandon laugh]
Julia: It's already so dangerous. Let's destroy it for the campers.
Amanda: Exactly. Kind of better. It's kind of better.
Eric: Incredible. Uh, Brandon, how does it get destroyed?
Brandon: Um, let's see. How does it get destroyed?
Julia: The words bone boomerang just jumped into my head and I hate that.
Brandon: Yup. Yup. That's it.
Amanda: That's very good.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: The Bonezilla breaks off one of its fingers or like one of its like, it's the—what's the front part of the arm called?
Julia: Oh, the tibia?
Brandon: Yes. I don't think it is a tibia. But that's what I call it, in my brain too.
Eric: So break off its tibia. Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. And then uses it to throw at the giant Stone Johnnie, but it wildly misses. And on its return, it comes back and hits the back half where—you know how there's a split in the slide.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Remember [laughs].
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: So it crushes the one side and then the Godzilla sees when it's done and then uses its foot to smash the other side. To finish the job.
Eric: After the Bonezilla smashes the slide and goes [dinosaur roars]. You see that a bunch of ghosts of carnival workers come out the slide. [laughs]
Julia: Nooooo [laughs]
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Oh no.
Brandon: And young children.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia (as Phoebe): We're releasing a lot of ghosts today.
[Brandon laugh]
Eric: Yeah. Alright, I think you both are on the 10. So I think that it's fine. I'm gonna keep this at 10 minutes.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So the next one is going down to 7.
Julia: Okay.
Eric (as Director Löw): [nervous laugh] What— No. Was that the sound of the Camp property being destroyed?
JULIA (as Phoebe): Oh well there is a giant Kaiju fight happening, as established.
Eric (as Director Löw): That's true. And we had— we are on top of it. The camp has deployed its proper channels to take care of it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, but a cabin and now a slide has been destroyed. Maybe we as CITs can help.
Eric: Julia, remind me, what were you manipulating uh the director about?
Julia: Oh, to forget the fact that like Carrie-Ann didn't steal this original handbook and also um.
Eric: Right. That you have the handbook.
Julia: Right. That I have it on my person
Eric: Okay, that's fine. It's still a 7 to 9. They'll do it, they'll believe you that—that you have the handbook and not look into it. As long as you do something for them right away to show that you mean it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhhh, like I said, we want to help if there's any way that we can help. We are almost adults and so we deserve that responsibility to help. Help.
Eric (as Director Löw): You said that Carrie-Ann got it on eBay?
Julia (as Phoebe): Carrie-Ann got on eBay.
Eric (as Director Löw): Did she spend her own money or does she use camp property camp money?
Julia (as Phoebe): She definitely didn’t— why would she use camp money, for something that's for her own personal collection?
Eric (as Director Löw): Carrie-Ann might requisition on behalf of the camp and then spend $2,000.
Julia (as Phoebe): She didn't.
Brandon: She has a camp expense card. [laughs]
Eric (as Director Löw): She might have stolen my camp-- my camp credit card from my wallet. I've used it on eBay.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): You think she would steal from you? You're like basically her mom.
Eric (as Director Löw): Does Carrie-Ann think I'm her mom?
Julia (as Phoebe): No, not like-- metaphorically Director, you know?
Eric (as Director Löw): Phoebe, does Carrie-Ann have things going on at home, you need to tell me if that's true.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Not that she—I honestly I've never heard anything about her home life, camp is her home life.
Eric (as Director Löw): [sighs] Okay, just—you know there are things in the— there are things in the staff handbook–
Julia (as Phoebe): I don't even know she has siblings.
Eric (as Director Löw): There are things in the--
Julia (as Phoebe): Does Carrie-Ann have siblings?
Eric (as Director Löw): There are things in the original staff handbook that are out of date. And I just don't want you to take any of those things verbatim. But I need—I guess yes, there is an emergency marshal that we uh— we designated it as ADZ because he does the fire and the emergency marshaling, yes. So what—what—what do you —Yes?
Julia (as Phoebe): Director, I feel like I asked a direct question as to whether or not he was the giant stone Johnnie outside.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Director Löw): No, he is not the giant stone Johnnie outside.
Julia (as Phoebe): Is he controlling the giant stone Johnnie outside?
Eric (as Director Löw): [sighs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Secondary question, where is he?
Eric (as Director Löw): Phoebe, I can't just—[sighs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Why is it when we ask you questions, usually just don't want to answer them?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Director Löw): Because Phoebe you are still a CIT and you don't need to know all the answers just yet. It's my responsibility to keep all the answers here so you don't have to burden yourself with all of them.
Brandon: From behind the door you hear [muffled voice] That’s suspicious.
[Julia laughs]
Eric (as Director Löw): It's not suspicious. It's called being staff.
Julia (as Phoebe): I am staff.
Eric (as Director Löw): You're almost staff. You're in a liminal space in which you can burn staff. Phoebe if there's something that you're—I—I just [sighs]. Yes Assistant Director Z is controlling the Stone Johnnie, which is why I know it's all in— He is controlling the stone Johnnie which is why I know everything is happening and he's doing it in the staff lounge.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, thank you for your help, Director.
Eric (as Director Löw): However remember you don't have access to the staff lounge because you're a CIT.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): Thank you, Director.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Eric (as Director Löw): Great. Now please send Les in.
Julia (as Phoebe): Les come in here and I'm not leaving.
Eric (as Director Löw): Fine.
Brandon: Before Director Löw had finished her sentence, I was already walking in the door. I had my ear at the door.
Eric (as Director Löw): [sighs] Les, why were you following me?
Brandon (as Les): I wasn't, like um again, I wasn't following you. I was following ADZ, and I uhh—I thought ADZ was a werewolf. So I was trying to figure that out. Clearly, he was a giant Stone Johnnie now um. I don't know how I can see that for.
Eric (as Director Löw): He's not. I just—I said just said he's not.
Brandon (as Les): I heard what— I heard what you said, but I have a book that says otherwise. So um, I need to know like how?
Eric (as Director Löw): Can I see that?
Brandon: Oh, no, I don't have it on me. Sorry.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, no, I don't have it on me. Sorry.
Eric (as Director Löw): Which book?
Eric (as Assistant Director Z): Whi—whi—which book?
Brandon (as Les): Which book are you talking about?
Eric (as Director Löw): I'm talking about the book you walk around the monster your monster manual that you work or walk around with?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I don't have it on me. I ran. I—I was it—it was in the um, the play hall thing. What do you call that? An auditorium?
Eric (as Director Löw): Cause like my—you know, my grandfather knew Charles Forte. And actually, they spent a lot of time talking and Charles Forte didn't know everything. Charles Forte had a—had a way of thinking about monsters that I don't know if always fit together with the way the actual world works. And I could correct some of those things for you if you ever wanted to be too.
Brandon (as Les): Interesting. So now um, uh.
Brandon: I turned to Phoebe and say—
Brandon (as Les): We have to get her fired. Is that a thing?
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhhh.
Eric (as Director Löw): Les, I'm right here, I'm truly right here.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): I think we have to go.
Brandon (as Les): Tell the—how did you—how did you get behind a stone wall?
Eric (as Director Löw): What?
Brandon (as Les): What was behind the wall? The cliff? Tell me! Tell me!
Eric (as Director Löw): No.
Brandon (as Les): Tell me!
[Julia laugh]
Eric (as Director Löw): I don't have to tell you everything. That's how se— that's how being staff at camp work. I'm sorry. No.
Brandon (as Les): Fine. I don't need your help anyway. I'll go open door my dang self. Phoebe, let's go.
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay, great.
Julia (as Phoebe): Alright, let's go.
Julia: And we're like—Phoebe grabs Les's hand and runs out the door [laughs]
Eric (as Director Löw): Are you guys gotta go kiss?
Brandon (as Les): No.
Julia (as Phoebe): No.
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Director Löw): Have fun.
Julia (as Phoebe): Kissing? No. No.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): We won't have fun doing that.
Eric: No one would ever have fun doing that.
Julia (as Phoebe): It would be joyless and unpleasurable.
Eric: No.
[Brandon laughs]
[Julia laughs]
Amanda: Solemn only.
Eric: Only solemn kissing.
Brandon: Christian kissing.
Julia (as Phoebe): We will leave room for Jesus.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): And also Bigfoot.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: You must be one Bigfoot foot away from each other while kissing.
[Julia and Brandon laugh]
Eric: That's the rule of camp that says, that's the funniest shit I've ever heard. That's incredible. Carrie-Ann, what are you doing?
Amanda: I am running recklessly into danger, attempting to find Steven. I am running through the woods yelling—
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Steven, get out here! I'm not scared of you anymore.
Eric: Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop. You see we're also running through the woods majestically, of course, is Jennii on Conway.
Julia: Did they lose Dougie Juice?
Eric: Dougie Juice is not there.
Julia: Oooh.
Brandon: Oh no.
Julia: They sacrificed Dougie Juice in the woods.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Can you guys lure those guys away from here?
Eric (as Jennii): Sorry—what guys?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Eh—You know the—the giant bone Godzilla that's imperiling camp and just kill one of our colleagues?
Brandon: Did you use a requisition form to get rid of Dougie Juice? [laughs]
Eric (as Jennii): I don't know what you're talking– it's not my responsibility to– why don't you– your group does—does that? Phoebe has weird powers, Phoebe could just throw up flares of the use of your hands.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Then what are you doing?
Eric (as Jennii): I'm going to take down Steven.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm going to take down Steven.
Eric (as Jennii): Uh. None If I get there first.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): None if I get there first!
Amanda: And then I grabbed Conway's tail.
Eric: HA HA HA.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Holy shit. Alright. That's gonna be—I mean that's a violent move, is that kick some ass?
Amanda: So I would love to use my move, what could go wrong?
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Uh. My new move is where I hold two when charging into danger without hedging my bets.
Eric: You a 100% can do that.
Julia: Woaaah.
Brandon: That's incredible.
Amanda: And one of the things I can spend, one of those holds to do, is to get a bonus to act under pressure. So I would love to use act under pressure to like vault myself onto the back of Conway.
Eric: That's fair. No, that's fair. Okay, you want to vault yourself onto Conway, yeah?
Amanda: Yep. Alright, so.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Okay. Amazing. I rolled a 10 + 2 + 2.
Brandon: Yeaaaah.
Amanda: So that is a 14 for act under pressure.
Eric: Holy shit. Oh my God. It’s just that you're rolling so high.
Amanda: I do what I set out to do, baby.
Eric: No, you. A 100% do it. Yeah. What does it look like?
Amanda: I think with a burst of speed. You've never seen Carrie-Ann's legs move so fast, they almost blur. But she's been training for uh this day, and she—to defend camp with all her might. She puts on again a burst of speed, catches up to Conway and Jennii, grabs Conway's tail goes—
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Sorry!
Amanda: And then uses it to vault herself up behind Jennii, onto Conway's rump.
Eric: Yeah. [kelpie sound] And as Conway rears back and you pull yourself on, on to the uh leafy green back [laughs] the seaweed back of Conway. I need you to kick some ass because Jennii is trying to shove you off immediately.
Julia: Woah.
Amanda: Alright.
[dice roll]
Brandon: I really do like how you sort of blended the horse and the water together for the sound effect.
Eric: Yeah. [kelpie sound]
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: That's what a Kelpie sounds like Brandon. It's all I know.
Brandon: I know. It's great.
Julia: Says that in your book, Les.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, that is unfortunately a 6.
Julia: Oh no.
Eric: That is a 6. When you fail, um yeah, I think—yeah you—you pull yourself up and then Jennii immediately shoves you off the back of Conway. And like Jennii pulls Conway around and says—
Eric (as Jennii): I don't need anyone getting in the way of me taking care of what needs to be taken care of.
Eric: And Jennii goes–
Eric (as Jennii): Yah!
Eric: –to Conway, and Conway runs you over for 3 harm.
Amanda: Alright, well, luckily I'm going to use my last hold to reduce the amount of harm taken by 1 . And because I have armor, it's just the 1 harm for being whatever by a kelpie, who is my colleague.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: [sing] Kelpie Colleague. It's the new sitcom coming to NBC
Amanda: It is.
Eric: Also I want you to take negative 1 forward. Negative 1 for your next roll, uh because you got run over by a horse, and that fucking sucks.
Julia: [sings] Carrie-Ann got run over by a kelpie.
Amanda: Sure.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: [laughs] Really Julia cause I was thinking, [sings] Carrie-Ann my wayward son!
Julia: Oh it's very good.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: As Jennii and Conway gallop into the woods, being like—
Eric (as Jennii): Stay away from this. I got it.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann was gonna lay there winded and go—
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Ow. Charles? I know you're not my guy. But are you out there?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Uh, the timer just went off. I need another wanton destruction [laughs].
Julia: Oh God. I think it's Brandon's turn.
Brandon: Yeah I'll—
Eric: Yeah, Brandon
Brandon: Plus weird?
Eric: Plus weird, please.
[dice roll]
Brandon: Uh-ha! That's an 11 + 2 for 13, minus two for 11.
Amanda: We’ve never rolled better.
Eric: What?—oh my God. Jesus Christ. Alright.
Julia: Hey, suck it. Nothing good in camp is gonna get destroyed.
Eric: Oh you're right, negative 3 right now. Fine. That's good. So yeah, what—what is another thing that gets destroyed epically?
Brandon: Um. Okay, here's a fun one. I think what happens is just for like a split second, the stone Johnnie gets swiped by the Bonezilla's tail. But it's like a near miss. But the Stone Johnnie does sort of lose its balance for a second.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: And puts its foot back to gain its composure and it hits the crafting—
Julia: The Art Barn? Nooo.
Brandon: Um, house, but when it—when it does so, confetti and beads just go everywhere.
Eric: Oh yeah.
[Julia and Amanda laugh]
Brandon: And it’s beautiful.
Eric: That's right. The Art Barn is totally destroyed [laughs].
Julia: Noooo.
Amanda: Oh no.
Brandon: No one was in it, of course,
Julia: They had just gotten that shipment of confetti and beads into for next week's project.
Eric: Absolutely. That's absolutely incredible. Alright, let's go back to Phoebe and Les, what—what do you want to do?
Julia: Uh, Phoebe is currently breaking down the door to the staff cabin.
Brandon: Yeah, I think uh Les's, Les is going to use his No Limits to help.
Julia: Yeah. Phoebe, Phoebe big whammies the door open.
Brandon: Yeaaaahh.
Eric: Hey, hey, here's the thing y'all.
Brandon: Power couple!
Eric: As you, two are running to go break down the door of this. You have absolutely no idea where the staff lounge is. You've never heard of it. You don't know where it is. You've never been in it. You know that your staff have been there sometimes to go to the staff lounge.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, it's probably the stupid thing behind the wall isn't it? Fuck.
Brandon (as Les): Yup. 100%.
Julia (as Phoebe): Alright, we can do this. I believe in us.
Eric: Yeah. Also, I'm setting the timer to seven minutes.
Amanda: Does Les piggyback Phoebe?
Julia: Great.
Julia (as Phoebe): Les, can you track down where that wall was again you think?
Brandon (as Les): Absolutely. I left uh markers.
Julia (as Phoebe): If I give you help.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I—well—I left markers on the trees. So I know the route here, follow me.
Julia: I'm going to—before we do, I'm going to jinx Les.
Eric: Sure.
[dice roll]
Julia: Uhh I rolled—
Brandon: Is that a good thing?
Julia: Yes.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: I rolled a 9.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Brandon, it’s how girls show that they're interested.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Julia: And the hold that I'm going to choose is help a hunter giving them + 1 forward by interfering with their enemy.
Eric: I'll give you that. That's fine.
Julia: Yeah. Okay.
Eric: Uh that makes sense. That makes sense.
Brandon: Into it.
Julia: So Phoebe like, Phoebe does get on Les's back for a piggyback ride. And like gently like, pat his head.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: And like all of a sudden Les can like see the path more clearly.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Uh, Hey, Les?
Brandon: Uh-huh.
Eric: You are now touched magically, how do you feel about that?
Brandon: Uh. I mean, obviously conflicted, but you know, he is uh, trusting his friend Phoebe now. So I think you know, he just let it go.
Eric: Yeah, there are so many things that you can just let go if your crush when you were 15 just did it to you.
Brandon: Yeah, that's a deep man.
Eric: Yeah. Okay, here's what I'm gonna say, Les. As you head into the woods to try to find the markings, you see some of them, but you don't see all of them. And of course, the stone Johnnies that we're leading your— leading your way are no longer there. So I'm going to just give you—what is your weird?
Brandon: + 2.
Eric: Alright, yeah. So I give you roll + weird because you're navigating a strange situation. And you can add plus 1 from Phoebe.
Brandon: Great. Oh, God, I got a 4 + 3 is 7. So I barely succeed.
Julia: Well, still in middling success. So, that's something.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda: Is there a lot of friction? Do Les's legs get really hot?
[Julia giggles]
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Or the branches get in a lot. And so you get harm from like, like scratches and thorns.
Eric: Yeah, I think that that, that's it.
Amanda: Like forces propelling you a little bit.
Eric: Right. As you're trying to navigate your way, you're not able to do a tradition—you know, you're usually able to like find your way through. But now you're kind of just like pushing through the woods. And you're like, you have to push your way through, like branches. And you kind of maybe you tripped down uh uh—a hill a little bit, and it hurts. So I think both of you take 1 harm.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: As you push through and get scraped up as you go—go through the woods, but you do end up back at the clearing with the stone face wall.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay uh. And you tried to open this and it didn't work last time?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Uh. Yeah. I mean I just used like a physical force, which just didn't work. So maybe something magical. I don't really know.
Julia (as Phoebe): Let's try some magic.
Julia: And Phoebe just like slaps a magical hand on the wall and sees what happens.
Eric: Sure, what do you want to do?
[dice roll]
Julia: Uh let me roll first. Ooh.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: That's very good. So I'm going to use magic and one of the use magic options is—so there's like a thing where I can like bar a place or a portal? Is there a way that I can use magic that would allow me to open a barred place?
Eric: Yeah, I'm looking at the effects of magic here. And I think one that might be interesting is communicate with something you do not share a language with.
Julia: Right. And I also took dark negotiator as my last playbook effect. So I would be able to charm basically something that does not speak my language.
Eric: So it's not a monster necessarily.
Julia: Right.
Eric: But I think that what you're getting is that, there is a way to open it. It is magical in some way. But there has—there probably like some sort of passcode or some sort of thing that you need to do or say to let yourself in?
Julia: Okay, first off, I rolled for use magic, I rolled a devil's titties, so.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, there you go.
Julia: I rolled a 14.
Eric: Yeah, you crushed it. You absolutely crushed it. I would say definitively, there's some sort of magical aura that’s around this thing, and you need a password to get it.
Julia: Okay, um. Phoebe is gonna look around. And do you remember the squirrel that was in the tree that Phoebe used?
Brandon: Oh, my God.
Amanda: I do.
Eric: Yeah. That's right.
Julia: Phoebe go—
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhh. Squirrel friends. Hey, uh any squirrel friends around right now?
Eric (as Squirrel): Yeah, what do you want?
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Hey, hi, it's great to see you. Thank you for helping me the other day. Can you do me a favor and tell me what–
Eric (as Squirrel): Oh no, that wasn't me. That was my brother.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, okay, well, thank him for me and I would appreciate your help today. Do you think that you could potentially tell me what the like passcode or password is to get into here is?
Brandon: Now what does it sound like for Les, Eric? The squirrel?
Julia (as Phoebe): Cheep cheepidity, cheep, cheep, cheep. Cheep, cheep, cheep cheep,cheep.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Squirrel): Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheepity cheep.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cheep, cheep, cheep,cheep.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Squirrel): Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cheep.
Eric (as Squirrel): Cheep.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cheep
Eric (as Squirrel): Cheep.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cheep.
Eric (as Squirrel): Cheep. That was my brother. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Also the timer just went off.
Julia: Fuck.
Eric: So I did another wanton destruction roll. I also need a - 3 attached to this roll. Yeah, whoever wants to roll.
Brandon: Let's go in the same order.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Well, I have - 1 on my next roll. So I shouldn’t do it.
Julia: Oh, okay, so I'll go.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
[dice roll]
Julia: Uh. So I rolled a 7.
Eric: A 7. Alright, I need a D6, because a beloved person is in danger.
[dice roll]
Julia: 5.
Eric: It's a 5.
Brandon: If it is Tater Tot, I riot.
Eric: Here's the thing, you three are not near, you three aren't—
Brandon: No we're not.
Eric: Nearby— you three aren't nearby at all. So you see a bunch of young campers that are being led to the water hole and they're all wearing like swimsuits but you know since they're on by— they're there by themselves, they all dress themselves. It's like one of them— two of them were wearing socks.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: One of them is wearing just an over—with like underwear with just a long shirt.
Amanda: No.
[everyone laughs]
Eric: And then that's when you—that's when you hear [dinosaur roars] whereas the stone Johnnie, has the Bonezilla over its head and then throws it and then all the kids go–
Eric (as Campers): AAAAAAH!
Eric: And run out of the way. But the only one who's standing there is Boo.
Julia: NO!
Brandon: Shit.
Eric: And you see the giant skeleton go wham! And slam into the ground.
[theme]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. I am currently wearing a flannel that is lined with fleece. I want to give a special shout-out to clothing and blankets that are lined with fleece. I do always want to feel like I'm in bed regardless of where I am. Welcome to the mid-roll. Winter Clothing is so comfy, shout out to winter clothing and being cold in the northern hemisphere. I have two wonderful announcements to share with all of you. We have a new piece of merch in the merch store. These are stickers of Grumfungo, everyone's favorite AI-generated Pokemon, saying trans rights. This is our new fundraiser, which we're doing to benefit Trans Lifeline. If you have been watching the stream at twitch.tv/jtbsidequests. You know how much we love Grumfungo, and how much we know that we love that he benefits trans rights. If you haven't been watching the stream, just get on board. He's a wonderful grumpy little Pokemon, and he's saying trans rights. All profits are going towards Trans Lifeline. Pick up some stickers, and cover a bar or a monument that you think should have more trans rights on it. You're not going to be disappointed. Go to jointhepartypod.com/merch to pick up some stickers or check out the links in our episode description. Or maybe you've seen it around on our socials. Get a Grumfungo stinker, Grumfungo says trans rights. We are also going to be at PAX Unplugged. The premier non-video game gaming convention is in Philly and we're gonna be there, from December 2nd through 4th, come through. We're gonna have those Grumfungo stickers. We're gonna have a bunch of Join the Party stickers. I'm doing Games and Feelings live show, we're going to have a Multitude booth. Come hang out. It's gonna be me, Amanda and Mischa Stanton, and Roux of Multitude, it's going to be wonderful. Please come through and say hi, December 2nd through 4th in Philadelphia, Pax Unplugged. I also want to give a wonderful shout-out to our newest patrons, Jacob, Pinecone, Jackson, and Jennine! Your support on Patreon, lets us do this as our jobs weekly, with never a bad Tuesday. And you don't have enough Join the Party in your life, you gotta join the Patreon. All patrons get Party Planning, our bi-weekly bonus podcast where we play games give advice and have a really good time with each other only for patrons. You can get ad-free episodes, you can get bloopers, and you can even get one-on-one time with me to talk about your home campaign, and give you advice about what to do and how to talk to your players. But best of all, you get to join our Discord which is the only good place on the internet. Every hour of the day, seven days a week. People are sharing recipes. They're sharing pet photos, they're sharing their RPG stories, their links, and their advice. It's really one of the best places on the internet. So consider it patreon.com/jointhepartypod. It is a great day to check out another show here at the Multitude collective. Today, I'm recommending Queer Movie Podcast. Listen, I can't believe they got that name either. But it's very impressive and it tells us exactly what we're getting. Hosted by Rowan Ellis and Jazza John, join them as they research and write their way through the Queer Film Canon one genre at a time. From rom coms to slashers, contemporary arthouse cinema to black and white classics. Queer Movie Podcast is a celebration of all things gay on the silver screen. Recently, they've been doing a really, really good job of staying contemporary. There are reviews of Bros. There are reviews of Fire Island, there are reviews of Heartstopper. I think it is a wonderful idea to join up if you want someone talking about cinema in this way, which is something you can't get from the uh slew, the swath of straight white guy podcasts about movies, you get that here. New episodes every other Thursday. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. We are sponsored today by Inked Gaming. Everyone has a go-to shop where they get their mouse pads, their play mats, their dice bags, and other essential gaming goods. Inked Gaming can be that for you. It's a one-stop shop built by and for people who love games. One incredible thing to think about is that they make custom products. So as we're thinking about presents for the winter holidays, you can think about them for your friend, your GM, or anyone to just make their game set up a little bit cooler. If you like what I'm hearing, and you want to check it out, you can use a 10% off discount code that they make just for us. So go to inkedgaming.com/jointheparty and use the promo code, Join the Party at checkout, and you'll automatically get the 10% off. That is inkedgaming.com/jointheparty and use promo code Join the Party at checkout. We're also sponsored today by Shaker & Spoon. Whether it's hot outside or cold outside, all I want to do is be inside my apartment and read, and have a little drink, feels a little fancy. And I can feel like a little fancy lad inside the apartment. There's something about like adjusting the temperature outside and inside now that it's getting cold. And I've gotten really accustomed to like to the warmth and the cool at the same time. And Shaker & Spoon can help you with that, but with cocktails. Shout out to Shaker & Spoon, a fellow Brooklyn-based small business that helps you learn how to make handcrafted cocktails right at home. Their boxes come with enough ingredients to make three different cocktail recipes developed by world-class mixologists. All you got to do is buy one bottle of that month's alcohol and you have enough to make 12 drinks at home. They are one of our longest-running sponsors and a gift that I bought for people including myself many times over the years. So get $20 off your first box of cocktail goodness at shakerand spoon.com/jointheparty. That is shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty. Finally, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Sometimes they wish that life came with a user manual. Like figuring out the best time to put your air conditioning away and take out your warm clothes. But then it's warm for a while and you're just kind of sitting there and you don't know if it's worth it to put your air conditioning back in the window, instead of like just dealing with it. And you've been looking forward to cold weather for so long. It feels like you are giving up something that you've been looking forward to. And if someone could just tell me that it's fine to just put the air conditioning back in the room because you'd rather be comfortable and then be right. That would be nice. Instead of a user manual. The only thing that humans have is therapy. And the best way to get therapy in an easy and affordable way is with BetterHelp. As the world's largest therapy service, BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online, plus it's affordable. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with a therapist. If things are clicking you can easily switch to a new therapists anytime, it couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's betterH E L P.com/jointheparty. And now back to the show.
[theme]
Julia: Can we do anything?
Eric: Nope. You got— y'all are not nearby.
Brandon: Maybe Boo uh, maybe when it slammed into the ground Boo was between a rib?
Amanda: Hopefully.
Brandon: Maybe Boo is also— I'm pretty sure Boo is like an immortal reincarnation of some demon thing, so.
Julia: Yeah, I did—I did pull his soul out of his body, so we can always just put it back. It’s probably fine.
Eric: And you see after a moment after the dust clears, and the—the T-Rex wiggles itself up and stands up getting charges at the Stone Johnnie. You see that uh, a wispy soul of Boo—
Julia: Noo.
Eric: Comes out and he looks like Casper the Friendly Ghost and says—
Eric (as Boo): I don't like this at all.
Julia: Oh God.
Brandon: Oh no. Eric, you didn't think about the possibility that you need to kill your own characters, did you?
Eric: No. I did. I don't know, I love it.
Julia: Your favorite—your favorite character.
Eric: I just didn't think that this character uh— has the ability to separate its soul from its body.
Julia: He certainly did before.
Amanda: Guys it's just—just flesh wound. We'll heal the body, he'll be fine. Don't worry about it.
Julia: Yes, it’ll be fine.
Eric (as Boo): Does anyone have a vessel I can inhabit?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Boo): Anyone? [echoes].
Brandon: [chants] Put a man a watermelon. Put him in a watermelon.
Julia: No. He just finds a little Stone Johnnie and puts himself in that.
Amanda: Oh that's a great idea, Julia.
Eric (as Boo): Okay, I'm gonna go swimming, hold on.
[everyone laughs]
Eric: Alright, we go back to Les and Phoebe. Phoebe, you're talking to the squirrel.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep cheep.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: I'm also going to keep, this is going to stay at 7 minutes. I'm gonna set the timer.
Julia: Alright. We gotta be faster with our scenes. God damn it. [giggles]
Eric (as Squirrel): Uh. Yes, what are you looking for?
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh, the past code or the password to lead us into this uh stone wall here?
Eric (as Squirrel): Oh yeah, they—they would they said some stuff. I don't know— I couldn't. I don't know English or I don't know human— the human language that you use.
Julia (as Phoebe): Right.
Eric (as Squirrel): But you know what I—whoever it is like they would say something and then they would stop for a second, and then they would say something else.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Squirrel): They go like da da da. Stop. Stop. Da da da.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] I would die for Camp Die.
Julia (as Phoebe): I would die for Camp Die.
Eric (as Squirrel): No, it wasn't like that. It was like—
Julia (as Phoebe): No.
Eric (as Squirrel): Well it was kind of like that, but like there was a specific kind of stop in the middle.
Brandon: Was it the—the Monday night football? Is that what I'm hearing in my head right now? [laughs]
Eric: No, it's not, It's not, it's not that.
Eric (as Squirrel): Yeah. [laughs] I like what I wa—when I watched the Bengals.
Julia: Oh, oh, it's, it was—it was dadada dot dot dadada?
Eric: Yeah, something like that.
Brandon: Ooohh.
Julia (as Phoebe): Eyeball, log, tombstone. Four-leaf clover, paw, tree?
Eric (as Squirrel): Uh—well, I don't know what that is.
Julia: Can I say that to the wall?
Eric: Yeah, what do you wanna say?
Julia: I want to say—it's either—
Brandon: It's totally clover.
Amanda: Clover. Yeah.
Brandon: Right?
Julia: Right. Okay,
Eric: You're looking—so you're looking at the symbols right?
Julia: Yeah, because there's a qua—there's two quarter rests in there.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: So I think if I say like—
Amanda: Good Julia, good.
Julia (as Phoebe): Eyeball, log, tombstone— clover, paw, tree.
Eric: Nothing happens.
Julia: Okay, let me try.
Brandon: Okay, is it eye—like it might be one syllable for everything, so eye, stone or tomb?
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: Eye, log, tomb.
Amanda: Grave.
Brandon: Grave.
Eric: Here's what I said is like—the—the squirrel said—
Eric (as Squirrel): Yeah, it was kind of like— it was what you said. But the—the rest in the middle it would—they stopped for a second so it might be like the thing you said.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. Uh.
Julia: I'm trying to think of like what the– the right words for this or our them.
Brandon: It sounds like we had the right words. But Eric wanted more time in between.
Julia: Okay. so—
Julia (as Phoebe): Eye, log, tomb.
Amanda: Or a grave.
Julia: Or--
Julia (as Phoebe): Eye, log, grave.
Amanda: Beat, beat.
Julia (as Phoebe): Clover, paw, tree.
Eric: Nothing happens.
Julia: Fuck.
Amanda: That's paw, tree, sun, stonewall.
Eric: Let me say this again would—for what you said with the squirrel.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: You said, I would die for Camp Die. And the squirrel said I don't know, maybe it's like that. But you need more rest in the middle.
Julia (as Phoebe): I would die [two taps] For Camp Die.
Eric: The stone starts to rumble.
Julia: Great, we got it. Okay.
Eric: As the mouth of the cave opens up, you see that there are stone stairs leading down and into the stone wall. And there's like a torch. There's like torch handles on the side for like people to pick up torches. And there's like a little like firepit for you to let your torches up at the top.
Julia: Phoebe shoves the torch into Les's hands like—
Julia (as Phoebe): We got to go.
Brandon (as Les): Wait, Phoebe? Can you— do you think you can take care this part of yourself?
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh.Yeah, I guess?
Brandon: (as Les): Okay, here take the torch. I'm gonna go recruit some help, I think.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Okay, good luck. Uh, shout out “ho ho ho” if you're in danger.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): I don't know. I heard it was a die-hard thing.
[Julia laughs]
Julia (as Phoebe): Yippie Ka-yay.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Guys, the symbol says I would die for Camp Die just in case. I would die for Camp Die.
Eric: You're right. That is what it says.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Uh, where you go Les—where are you going?
Julia: Well, someone needs to protect the campers. So Brandon's got the right idea here.
Brandon: Yeah, so I need to find something that can stand up to these giant Kaiju and maybe try to contain them at least. So Eric, I, last game, got my experience bar up.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: So one of my improvements that I could take, was take a second first encounter move based on a recent mystery. So, I looked back at my first encounter moves and one of them is called Higher Power and it's something looks out for me. I started with extra luck.
Julia: Woaah.
Brandon: So my thought is that— remember when I went and beat the fairy folk?
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: In the—
Julia: And you became their president?
Brandon: I became their president? [laughs]
Eric: Right. Yeah.
Brandon: So either the fairy folk or the big feet, whichever one wants to help. If they respect me enough, or not. I'm gonna go try to find them. And try to convince them to help, and defend the camp with my luck.
Eric: Yeah, you're gonna use a luck to do that?
Brandon: Well, I assume I would like go up to them and try like manipulate them or whatever in the roll. But instead, I would just use a luck point and have it be a 12.
Amanda: To auto-correct.
Eric: It will auto-correct on it, yeah.
Julia: Uhh. Brandon, what a power move.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Here's the thing. You realize that Bigfoot just eats fairies so you can't do both. You got to pick one or the other.
Brandon: Well, yeah, that's I was asking you, whether you wanted it as the GM in game if you had a preference?
Eric: No, I would say the fairies for sure.
Brandon: Yeah. Okay.
Eric: Because like you did beat Greenbrook, in a fairies decathlon, which has 11 [laughs] —11 activities.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: That’s true.
Eric: Yeah, a hundred percent.
Brandon: Yeah, so I'm going to walk out to that or run over to that clearing. And just like stand up tall and yell—
Brandon (as Les): Uhh. Fairies of the clearing, uh fa—fairies of uhh the area around Camp Diogenes. Uh. I—I call upon you, as— as your humble leader and President-Elect.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: You see a bunch of like two-and-a-half foot folk with butterfly wings fly out, and be like—
Eric (as Fairy): Uh yeah, you're not the president. You just won—you're more like a famous athlete or a champion.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Fairy): You're—it's like—
Brandon: That's fine.
Eric (as Fairy): You're like Lebron James. Or Shaquille O'Neal, more like, which means you’ll—we'll listen to you. But like, you're not like— you don't tell us like how our government works.
Brandon (as Les): I mean, hey, honestly, that's good, because I—I would not be good at that, in that government position.
Eric (as Fairy): Yeah, you are on a cereal box though.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, that's great. Um.
Julia: The timer is running. [laughs]
Brandon (as Les): Oh, uh friends. So umm—
Eric: By the way, I need someone to roll a wanton destruction roll.
Julia: Fuck! [laughs] Brandon, it's your turn.
Eric: Plus weird, - 3.
Brandon: - 3? Jesus. Oh, look at that Eric, that's an 11 + 2 is 13 - 3 is a 10 baby.
Eric: God damn it! What the fuck guys!
Amanda: Yeaaaah. HAHAHA.
Julia: Not gonna—not gonna murder any other beautiful NPCs, not today.
Brandon: Not today.
Eric: If you get stepped on by a Kaiju, it's 5 harm. God fucking damn it. I wanted to hurt you. Fuck. Alright, what other cool thing happens and explodes
Brandon: Umm. What do y'all think?
Julia: I was gonna say the CIT cabin and all of Dougie Juice’s pillows exploded into giant feathers?
Amanda: The feathers? Yes. Same brain Julia.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon: Yeah, that's good. That's good. I like that.
Amanda: Brandon, he could do like what was Julia— what's the table smashing move?
Julia: Uhh. Just like throwing someone through a table?
Amanda: Yeah.Yeah.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: It's just the body slam through the table.
Amanda: What if the bunk beds, right?
Eric: Yeah. Yeah. I know.
Brandon: Yeah. I think the giant cairn sort of like, does a 180 movement and then grabs the Bonezilla by the head, and then flips them over to like slam them on the ground, but slams them on top of the CIT cabin. And it's just like feathers and chocolate chips rising [laughs]
Julia: Noooo.
Amanda: Yep.
Brandon: Rising into the air.
Eric: I do like the idea of the stone Johnnie leaning over and lording over the Bonezilla. And then the Bonezilla opens its mouth, and like a gout of flame comes out, they'll be like oh, it had this power too, noooo.
Brandon: It doesn't matter because it's stone, baby. Stone doesn't get affected by, by heat. It's fine.
Eric: That's true. If fucking Pokemon rules my guy.
Amanda: Mmmm.
Brandon: Mmm.
Julia: Pokemon rules.
Eric: Hell yes. Wonderful, yeah. And the fairies fly over.
Brandon: Yeah, and so I—I appeal to them. And I say—
Brandon (as Les): Umm, yeah, I— the camps in danger as well as everyone in it. Umm. I know this isn't your fight to fight, but if you have any, like care for the people of the camp, or even just like young children, we can really use some help. The Bonezilla is I think being controlled by Steven, and like we need to either stop Steven or stop the Bonezilla somehow. I'm not sure how to do it. But I figured you guys are ma— y'all are magical. So, you might know and you might be able to help.
Eric (as Fairy): Alright, that sounds fine. Greenbrook, our previous president who was president, he wasn't Shaquille O'Neal. He really—
Eric: I'm sorry. I have to set a timer for 5 minutes now.
Amanda: No.
Brandon: NOOOOO.
Amanda: Unless they distract it, lead it away--
Julia: Quickly, scenes! Quick.
Eric (as Fairy): So we—yeah, we hated that guy. He was so in league with Steven. And like, you know, the camp is fine. It's fine, though. It's fun to have kids around. We can steal their names and things.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Fairy): But we do need your permission to come into camp.
Brandon (as Les): You have it. I hereby grant you permission to enter camp.
Eric (as Fairy): Whooooo! Let's all go on vacation boys.
Julia: That seems bad.
Eric (as Fairy): Looks like meat is back on the menu, boys. [laughs]
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: It seems really bad. Seems like, ‘we're gonna eat a bunch of campers, boys’ is more like it.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright, because the fairies have flown and I'm going to reset your, your negatives. So now no negatives when you roll on the umm—
Julia: Oh thank God.
Amanda: Right.
Eric: On the wanton destruction table.
Brandon: And they did they sort of like buzz around the Bonezilla’s head and confuse and distract it?
Eric: Yeah, for sure. But it definitely gets in front of the stone Johnnie, as well as the stone Johnnie’s sort of fl—uh, swipe it away. Um. You see a fairy goes up to an 11-year-old boy and asked him he wants a snack, and he said sure.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No one talk! Silent game.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann isn't there.
[Eric and Brandon laughs]
Eric: And he—he offers a Clif Bar to him and he eats it.
Julia: Nooo.
Eric: I'm sure that's not bad for the future. Let's go quickly to Phoebe. As Phoebe walks--
Julia: Oh, runs. She's sprinting down the stairs.
Eric: Phoebe is running down the stone stairs, you run down into a stone cavern, but they sure do try to make it look as much like a staff lounge as possible, with fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling, some old couches someone got from a garage sale. There's like an arcade machine in the corner. And also there are a few like magical objects that are kind of laid out on a big wooden table.
Amanda: Eric Silver loves giving us a buffet of magic objects.
Eric: Including.
Julia: Such as?
Eric: So I'd be like there are some swords, there's an amulet. There are like some magical earrings that look really strange. You look in a mirror and you can't see yourself back in it. And there's also um, a—I guess, like, a helmet with moose antlers on it. But you see—what you do see is that Assistant Director Z is sitting in the middle of the staff lounge, criss cross-legged, and he has his hands on a pretty large Stone Johnnie. It's about like, if someone moved a bunch of larger boulders there. But it's about— it's his size as when he's sitting down. And he's a deep concentration as he has his hands on this Stone Johnnie. You also see that there's like warm energy kind of flowing off of this Stone Johnnie. And you see that there's kind of like the top stone, the word protect is scribbled in charcoal.
Julia: Oh, I'm sure it is. [giggles]
Eric: Yeah, it is Julia [laughs] You’re fucking right it is.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Eric, what does his teeth look like?
Julia: Yeah, but you thought you could hide a golem for me? Sure.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Never. Ever. Ever. He's in deep concentration and he does not hear you come in.
Julia: Great. That's fine. Phoebe is not going to interfere with his concentration. But she is going to jinx him to give him plus 1 forward.
Brandon: Hell yes. Dude.
Julia: Let’s roll that bad boy.
[dice roll]
Julia: Uhhh. Great. That is an 8, so.
Eric: Hell yes.
Julia: I'm gonna use that one hold to give him plus 1 forward.
Eric: Great. Whoever rolls the next wanton destruction give yourself a + 1.
Julia: Oh yeah.
Amanda: Excellent.
Eric: Phoebe do you do anything else while you're down there or you just kind of, you shoot your energy into Assistant Director Z. And what do you do?
Julia: Phoebe like while channeling that magic, is going to look at that helmet and be like what up with that?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Yeah, I mean it is a—it's like kind of like your traditional Viking helm in the way that like someone made the helmet and then crafted the, the moose antlers onto it. They're very large, the moose antlers are like three times the size of the helmet itself.
Julia: Can I use investigate a mystery for this?
Eric: Absolutely.
Julia: Great.
[dice roll]
Brandon: Do you look on the inside and like on the tag is written the name Charles? [laughs]
Julia: 11.
Eric: You got— y'all rolling so fucking well.
Julia: Yeah dude.
Amanda: I don’t know what it is.
Eric: Jesus Christ.
Julia: Alright um. I want to know what can it do?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And what is being concealed here?
Eric: That's a good point. I also just-- that is the wanton destruction timer. I need someone else to roll.
Julia: Alright.
Amanda: I'll take this one.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Yeah,
Eric: So you get the + 1 from jinx.
[dice roll]
Amanda: So I rolled the six on the die + 2 for my weird is 8 + 1 from Phoebe is 9 - 1 is another 8.
Eric: Okay, so yeah, I need you to roll one D6, because one of your friends is in trouble.
Amanda: Oops. Jennii. Okay, 5.
Eric: 5.
Brandon: He said— he said friends, Amanda.
Amanda: I know right?
Julia: If you will say Tater Tot, I will murder you.
Eric: No, Tater Tot was not rolled on.
Julia: Okay, that means—
Brandon: Is he on the list though?
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: THAT MEANS TATER TOT'S ON THE LIST!
Eric: Yes. Uh, we cut over to a Kingfisher cabin. Who are the 12-year-olds, the second oldest, are kind of uh— all playing Never Have I Ever, and they all have like a few fingers up and then one of the campers says—
Eric (as Camper): Um. Never have I ever had as much fun as I am having right now.
Julia: Noooo.
Eric: And everyone goes. Oh, we are all friends. And then a gout of flame is coming—is coming towards the cabin.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: NOOOO.
Eric: It was like aaarrrrghhh, as this flame is coming towards the cabin.
Julia: I want one of the fairies to fly in and get them to leave or something.
Eric: That's a great—that's a good point. I don't know.
Brandon: That's so funny.
Eric: But you're not there to figure it out.
Julia: But the whole point of sending the fairies in was to help the campers.
Eric: Maybe we'll see how it goes.
Julia: Fuck.
Brandon: That's so funny. [laughs]
Amanda: That’s so stressful.
Julia: I'm so stressed.
Eric: Alright Phoebe, tell me the questions again.
Julia: I picked, what is being concealed here and what can it do?
Eric: Okay. Phoebe, I can give you both the answers if you put it on.
Julia: Fuck yeah, man. Put it on.
Brandon: Yeaaaah.
Eric: Phoebe.
Amanda: Phoebe is one with the forest spirit.
Eric: Phoebe, immediately you are transported into the woods. You're looking around and you see the tops of trees. You look down and you see like the leaves that have fallen on the ground and the—and the stones. You're just like firmly deep, deep into the woods.
Julia: When I look down do I see hooves?
Eric: You look around, you see the woods in all directions. You don't know where you are. And yes, as you look down you see hooves.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: Julia’s face right now--
Julia: Phoebe takes off and it's like—
Julia (as Phoebe): I—I'm furious.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Let's go to Carrie-Ann.
Julia (as Phoebe): Fuck this [laughs]
Brandon: Oh ADZ. What a champ.
Eric: Carrie-Ann, you are in the woods. You are-- have been run over by a horse recently [laughs] You pick yourself up, you're still charging towards Steven, or do you have any other idea?
Amanda: So I was– I was laying down winded in the clearing and I whispered Charles. Did anyone whisper back?
Eric: No!
Amanda: Great.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Actually that's a great question. When she whispers Charles, do I hear it while I'm wearing the helmet?
Eric: That's a great question. Uh, Carrie-Ann, roll weird for me.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Uh, that is a 10.
Eric: Oh my God.
Brandon: So I think yes.
Julia: You hear Phoebe scream.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'M FURIOUS!
Eric: Yeah you hear, you hear and then it comes out as [deep voice] I'm furious.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): ME TOO. GOOD.
Amanda: And then with that energy, Carrie-Ann jumps up and runs as fast as she can, out toward the stone wall.
Eric: Hell yes.
Brandon: Legend.
Eric: Carrie-Ann, you're heading towards a stone wall as you— you hit kind of like it's not like a clearing but it does stop before the stone wall. And you're about 30 feet out, as you see Jennii is at the stonewall and jumps off of Conway. As Steven is leaning coquettishly on the stonewall on one elbow. What do you do? You are dealing with Steven, so if you want a bit of information from your staff move, I can give it to you.
Amanda: Yeah. I also have the move what doesn't kill me, so I have plus 1 forward after taking harm and a fight.
Brandon: (singing) Makes me stronger!
Amanda: So, as I'm dealing with Steven I've taken + 1 harm in a fight. I have + 2 forward.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: I want to manipulate someone and I want to manipulate Steven to stop.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Here's the thing, Steven is a monster. It's very difficult to manipulate a monster, that's why Phoebe has a move that literally says you can manipulate monsters. You can try, he just may not give a shit at all. So that is my information to you.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Even when especially with Monster of the Week, throw yourself into the scene, and then we see who— who and how you can manipulate, if it goes your way.
Amanda: Yeah, I mean Carrie is gonna run to wherever Steven is and attempt to punch him in the face.
Brandon: Yeaaah.
Julia: Hey Carrie-Ann? Great.
Amanda: I'm gonna keep running and actually take out her flare gun, which is her weapon and when she's about let's say eight feet out from Steven, just shoot it directly in his head and see what happens.
Eric: Alright roll, roll to kick some ass.
[dice roll]
Brandon: If it goes through his head because he's a skeleton, I will cry.
Eric: Only if the dice say so.
Amanda: So I did roll the devil's ass cheeks.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Amanda: But I am going to—
Julia: Wait. Is that an on—is that two ones, or is that two sixes?
Amanda: No, it's 2-1.
Julia: Oh no.
Eric: Oh my god.
Amanda: I'm gonna use a lock point taking me from 3 to 4.
Julia: Oh, God.
Eric: No fucking way.
Brandon: Holy shit.
Julia: Yikes.
Amanda: On my Doom Scale out of 7 to auto-crit here. And I want to send the flare gun directly through Steven's skull.
Eric: Okay. So you have 10 points.
Julia: I'm stressed.
Eric: You get an extra effect, you get advanta— gain advantage, you get + 1 forward or you can get + 1 forward to another hunter, it’s just you by yourself, you inflict terrible harm, you get + 1 harm, you suffer less harm, or you force them where you want them.
Amanda: Yeah, I want to inflict terrible harm.
Eric: You're gonna inflict terrible harm?
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: How—What's the harm for the playground?
Amanda: 2 far obvious.
Eric: Oh, it's two.
Amanda: It's 2.
Eric: Oh, hey, you can do 3 harm to Steven.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Yeah, you shoot the flare gun right in his eye.
Brandon: Yeaaah.
Eric: And it starts burning, like burning up in there like—
Eric (as Steven): Oh, no, why is this happening to me right now? Well, I was doing something else.
Amanda: What I'm attempting to do is break his concentration. So if that helps us the Stone Johnnie gain any kind of advantage with Julia juicing Z. I don't care about Steven's harm specifically. What I wanted— what I'm trying to do is break that connection and concentration.
Eric: Okay, I think that you forced them where you want him.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Where you got the extra effect if you want to break his concentration, which is very important, as the wanton destruction just went off. Yes, he does take concentration for him to run the Bonezilla. So he's like,
Eric (as Steven): Oh, why is this happening to me?
Eric: And then back at camp as the gout of fire come [laughs] levels to level the kingfisher cabin. The Bonezilla, like you, know in a real Looney Tunes cartoon way, the Bonezilla, like falls apart for a second. It still reforms as to putting itself together, but with a xylophone sound goes [xylophone sounds] and falls apart. And that it has— its slowly starting to put itself together. So those kids are dead who were on fire.
Julia: Noooo.
Eric: But we're like, but we did stop the wanton destruction that happened again.
Julia: Eric. Eric, you can't kill kids.
Eric: Yes, I can. It’s monster of the week.
Brandon: You can kill kids but you can't kill dogs. That's the rule.
Eric And Julia: Yeah. That's a good rule.
Brandon: It's a good rule.
Julia: That's why there's a—does the dog die and not does the kid die?
Eric: Steven then goes—
Eric (as Steven): Ow. Carrie-Ann, I thought we were friends. I told you secrets about some people who didn't trust you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Now you're destroying the one thing I care about.
Eric (as Steven): What?!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Camp!
Eric (as Steven): Oh Camp Diogenes? That place sucks.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You suck!
Eric (as Steven): You suck!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Fuck you!
Eric: And bones come out of the ground. And it's almost like a stone sarcophagus or like Iron Maiden kind of comes out of the ground, opens up, and slams you inside and you take 3 harm.
Brandon: Dang!
Julia: Damn.
Eric: So you take—you get 1 less harm because of your armor.
Julia: Right. But she ain’t doing good already.
Amanda: No. So that brings me to 3 harm in total.
Eric: It's also like a bone cage that you're trapped inside. But it's like the size, the shape, and size of a Carrie-Ann body. You know, like a sarcophagus that you're trapped inside.
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: And you see—but you're still able to talk as Jennii and Conway in kelpie form is standing at the Stonewall.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [muffled voice] Guys help me. Defeat him. Punch him.
Eric (as Jennii): I, Hey Carrie-Ann? I'm trying right now. And you're just getting all up in the way. I told you to stop. And now you're here and you're— I like, I'm doing a tête-a-tête with Steven. [kelpie sound] So Carrie-Ann, can you just like butt out? Please.
Amanda: (as Carrie-Ann): [muffled voice] My name is Carrie-Ann Price. And I will always butt in!
Amanda: And Carrie slams her arms into the side of the cage trying desperately to signal to Avery if there's something she can feel through the vibrations of these bones of the camp earth to help.
Eric: Oh you can try. You can definitely try.
Brandon: Where's the point of inspiration, Eric?
Julia: That's a cool move.
Eric: I mean, it's incredible. I just like [laughs]
Amanda: It's fine. It's a hail mary.
Eric: Avery, you are so far away from Avery. I— and you're into the woods, which is outside and this is literally the outer bounds of what Avery can feel. And Avery threw themselves to help you. You struggle—you struggle and there's no one to help you. You are now just in a shitty, terrible situation. And Jennii says—
Eric (as Jennii): You know, Carrie-Ann, I know you're butting in, but I'm gonna take care of it. Steven, I accept the deal.
[Julia gasps]
Eric (as Jennii): I know you just said the Camp sucked. But that's not how it works.
Julia: Jennii.
Brandon: Jenniifer.
Eric (as Jennii): You're gonna like-- two more weeks of camp right?
Eric (as Steven): Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just come on over.
Eric: Jennii pets Conway on the head and steps over the wall. As Steven offers a hand, says—
Eric (as Steven): You know, my favorite part of the deal is that after I suck all the juices out of your body, it's like I'm a camper, so I can just come on in. And Jennii says—
Eric (as Jennii): What?
Eric: And Steven puts a hand on her shoulder and just sucks all the liquid out of Jennii's body. She's just a pile of skin and bones. And Steven's like—
Eric (as Steven): [laughs] I like the feeling of that.
Eric: And just his hair and his face start to grow back and you see deep blue eyes and a pointed nose and a brilliant white smile with like, shoulder length perfect black hair growing underneath of his—underneath his hat. He says,
Eric (as Steven): You know what? I want to do what everyone's always talking about. I want to go to camp.
Brandon: FUCK!
Eric: And Steven steps over the wall.
[theme]