Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook Rule #14, Addendum B: If a staff member is not present or does not properly adjudicate a stealing matter, the one stolen from will administer “summer justice.” Whether you want that to happen or not is up to you, but summer justice will come.
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Someone's been stealing jewelry, money, candy, and other valuables from campers cabins and lock boxes and the best friends are on the case. A Kingfisher cabin is pinning it on loner Zev. Les and Carrie-Ann tried to sort through the mystery but are waylaid by Jennii, Conway and Dougie Juice and the fact that the witnesses were 12-year-old boys. Zev pulls Phoebe aside and pleads his case. He would never have done this because he's protecting a big secret: He's a preteen werewolf. Zev swears Phoebe to secrecy but runs off when Phoebe's magic gets out of control. As the best friends pull on the thread of the mystery, it really looks like a werewolf is behind the robberies and some other attacks on campers. But we have another problem. Three identical men are speeding towards camp in a pickup truck and they are pissed. Let's get the party started.
[theme]
Eric: There is a ruckus coming down the road towards the front of camp. And you have investigated two cabins that have had their valuables robbed. What would the three of you like to do?
Julia: Phoebe is going to take off for the cover bridge because she knows that Zev is there. And also because she had that premonition earlier that bad news was coming for the bridge. So I think she's extremely nervous that something bad is going to happen to poor Zev.
Brandon: That's fair. That's fair. Are we like splitting it up then?
Julia: Yeah, I think, I think it's probably best if we split up and look for clues for lack of a better phrase.
Eric: Zoinks.
Julia: In the words of a talking dog.
Brandon: Ruh roh.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, I feel like the stuff could be anywhere, this creature or person could be hiding anywhere. I think we have to draw them out. Do you have any valuables? Like valuable metal or money back at the cabin? I've sunk all of my money into vintage camp wear. So, I know it's valuable, but I don't think someone else would think it's valuable.
Brandon (as Les): Hmm.
Julia: Les seems like he maybe like collects old coins
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Because if not--
Eric: Damn, what a fucking burn.
Julia: I'm not wrong.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): For like your-- some of your equipment? Because if not, I'm just gonna go to the director and be like, I need some jewelry and I'll explain later.
Julia: I need to borrow $1,000 of the camp money.
Brandon: I don't think I have any valuable equipment. But like, can I just add that I collect coins? Eric, is that okay with you? I like that.
Eric: What I want to- no, I'm not gonna say that.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Here's my here's Monster of the Week-- Here's some Monster of the Week stuff I can offer, right? Is that we have-- there is a valuable thing that has been shown Conway's bracelet, right? And Jenny has already pack-bonded you into protecting it.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Also, you can go to the director, you can also try to just route around in places that have been established that has stuff. Like if you might remember from a world building episode, hey, let's just look under the auditorium and see if there's some stuff there, right? All the way in the back, just kind of there. So there are a few different options here. Like there, there are different pros and cons, right? You're currently not in great standing with the director. But Director definitely might have something valuable. The situation with Conway, as spelled out by Jennii. But you might strike out looking in the auditorium.
Brandon: Or it might take too long.
Eric: And then you just
Amanda: Waste time, yeah.
Eric: -and then you just wasted time. Right. So you got-- you all need to make a choice here.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, what do you think? Should we ask Conway to come with us and put them down in the clearing in the forest and like hide in the trees?
Brandon (as Les): Well, I don't want to put Conway in actual danger. But I think we could talk Conway into letting us borrow their bracelet.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): From what Jennii said, it sounded like if they took it off, something bad would happen, which I have to admit I am extremely curious about, so I'd be pretty into finding that out.
Brandon (as Les): Huh. Yeah, let's see if we can get that bracelet off.
Eric: Alright. Wonderful. So we're gonna-- Phoebe is sprinting towards the Covered Bridge. Let's figure out this plan, right? So there's a funny thing at camp where you just run into random people, but you see them like across camp. Because this is like a giant field, right? You can just see for miles. So I feel like you could shout down the other group of CITs as you see them, and I think Jennii, Conway and Dougie Juice, come back over to you and Jennii says-
Eric (as Jennii): So have you found any leads? Do you know who's been taking things?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Well, we know it's not a camper, and we're pretty sure it's a creature. They just attacked one of the kids in the Flycatcher cabin. Phoebe is doing some reconnaissance, making sure Zev is okay. But we need to like circle up and lay a trap. So I know I have an emergency 20, that's all the money I bring to camp, because camp’s all the money I need. Does anybody have like valuables or money or Conway, maybe you could like lend us your bracelet. Again, not to put it in danger at all. But just to make sure that we can lure this thing out. I think once we see it, we can deal with it. But until then, it's just going to keep attacking cabins one by one.
Brandon (as Les): Have any of you read the Book of the Damned before?
Brandon: And Les opens his book.
Brandon (as Les): So this is clearly probably a werewolf and we need some bait. And I think Conway you're, if we follow these steps, as outlined here, we could be able to not only like, verify that werewolves exist, but also maybe capture one and we need your help. Basically, I'm asking for a favor that then I can repay in the future.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Or if somebody has like $1,000 like or like maybe-
Brandon (as Les): Or that yeah, whatever.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Dougie Juice says-
Eric (as Dougie Juice): I'm not giving you $1,000 that I definitely have.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You don't have to give it to me, you just have to put it in a clearing in the forest and we'll all hide in the trees and then jump out whenever the thing is. Don’t you want to do that? Doesn't that sound more fun than watching a bunch of kids vomit as they stargaze?
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Yes, I do want to Looney Tunes this but I'm not going-- but I'm not going to like give you 1000 of my dollars.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Just 100 is fine.
Eric (as Dougie Juice): No, no!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You're not giving it to me, you're gonna put it on like a fishing line.
Brandon (as Les): Dougie Juice, do you have money?
Eric (as Dougie Juice): Look at me. Of course I do! These were, these were $2,000 on stock X. You see these shoes? They look like literal lions! Come on! And I'm wearing them!
Brandon (as Les): Well, I don't think we can. I don't think we can like put a credit card out in the forest. I don't think that would work. So-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Wait, how do we make sure that these shoes are legit? Can you, can you show me the tongue or whatever?
Eric (as Dougie Juice): No! Stop!
Julia: Unless it's like a platinum card. I'm not here.
Eric: Amanda's hurting my feelings.
Amanda: No, because if he takes it off, I will grab it and run into the forest.
Eric: Do you want to try to manipulate him to take off his shoes?
Amanda: Yes!
Eric: Alright, yeah. Manipulate.
Julia: You're gonna steal this boy's shoes.
[dice roll]
Julia: You're gonna to steal his shoes, Amanda?
Amanda: Alright, I got a 7.
Brandon: Oh, shit.
Eric: Okay, with a 7. Here's what I'm gonna say as Dougie says-
Eric (as Dougie): No, you can't have my shoes.
Eric: But I think that Conway then offers their arm out with their hand on the bracelet and offers it. Jennii says-
Eric (as Jennii): Yes, this is pure. This bracelet is pure silver. Conway is willing to be the bait. If they can hold on-- if they can hold on to the bracelet. But they can like, you know, offer it out like it's a tasty morsel of something, you know?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. Let's go over to the clearing behind the cabins. Conway, pretend you're like taking a nap or whatever. But we'll actually zip tie the bracelet to your hoodie. You got the thumb hole thing, right?
Brandon (as Les): Well, we know we don't want to do that. Because then if we want the bracelet to be able to actually come off just in case it needs to come off. We don't want to put Conway in actual danger.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, Conway, would you rather lose a hand or the bracelet? Because I'm getting the vibe that maybe-
Brandon (as Les): That's the question.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Maybe it's- maybe it's the hand.
Eric: Jennii says-
Eric (as Jennii): What? Either, both. Let's do the trap.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Great.
Eric: Conway just nods hard.
Brandon (as Les): Jennii, can you not talk for Conway, please?
Eric (as Jennii): Uh, Conway-- We have a relationship where I can speak for Conway and that's fine.
Brandon (as Les): No, that's not true of anybody. Conway, can you please-
Eric: Conway puts their hand on-- their arm around Jennii and looks at you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, Conway, go take a nap in the clearing guys. Let's, let's go. Let's go ring the field and wait quietly.
Eric: Let's do a trap here. Okay, here's what I'm gonna say right? What is both of your Cools?
Amanda: Well, that's a 1, Eric.
Brandon: -1 for me.
Eric: -1? Okay.
Brandon: But if I act under pressure, I do get to roll + Weird so it's +2.
Eric: Okay, this is gonna be a roll on behalf of the group. I'm gonna say that because you're an average between the act under pressure roll and your Weird, but there are four of you hiding so I'm gonna subtract one so I'm gonna give you +1 to this. Roll and act under pressure for this trap working. Okay? All of you are in the bush are hiding in bushes. Conway is pretending to sleep in a clearing. And it's like-
Eric (as Conway): [pretending to sleep] Mee Mee Mee Mee Mee
Amanda: Like Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream
Eric (as Conway): [pretending to sleep] Mee Mee Mee Mee Mee
Eric: Yeah. 100% Right. Which of you is gonna roll this?
Brandon: Can I like set up a trap camera like from my cryptid hunting gear like I want to make sure I have evidence of this thing if we get to see it, you know?
Julia: Like a trail cam?
Brandon: Absolutely.
Amanda: That's fun. You're gonna-
Eric: That's fine. I'll just give you that for free. So whatever happens here, whatever goes down this will be recorded for your on your personal thing, absolutely.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Amanda: And I'm gonna have like my mace and my flares like one in each hand. I want to be up a tree and have the others be at ground level. Just in case.
[Brandon exclaims a battle cry]
Amanda: Exactly. And to answer your question, Eric, I should not be rolling, because I'm rolling poorly this session.
Brandon: Okay, I'll roll.
Julia: Statistically, that means you should be rolling higher in the next few
Amanda: Oh, boy.
Eric: Let's see how this trap goes.
Amanda: Brandon's really juicing those die. Yep.
[shaking die then rolls]
Brandon: What do you say a + what, Eric?
Eric: +1
Brandon: Got a 6 + 1 + 7, baybee!
[cheering]
Julia: Oh, thank goodness!
Eric: Wow. Okay, here's what happens. All of you are all in your various positions, right? Conway is snoozing, fake snoozing, right? Maybe Conway actually fell asleep. It goes from fake snoring to like the real like, [peaceful snore] like real-- like a real snore and then Conway has actually fallen asleep because it's so delightful just waiting there.
Brandon: They're like in a sunbeam dappling through the trees.
Amanda: Yeah, moonbeam.
Julia: Aww. So dappled across their face.
Eric: Like the moon is fully out and the stars are shining brightly-
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: -and Conway, this is so peaceful for them. They're laid out, their arms outstretched with the bracelet dangling.
Julia: I love this for them.
Amanda: There's just like a bluebell tickling their ear. There's a dew drop on their nose. There's like a little field mouse tying their shoelaces in a prank.
Eric: Cool. Alright. You're all standing there. And you're all waiting with bated breath. It's been like 30 minutes, right? And then you hear some soft clucking, like [clucking]. And you see walking into the clearing is like a two-and-a-half-foot tall bird. It has large wings and a hooked beak, long legs, and sharp claws on their feet. And it's radiating, the bird is radiating a very soft light off of its gold and silver wings. And it also has a big full belly. It's like it has a beer belly right now and it's walking slowly. Like it's kinda like clomping slowly, as only like turkeys and other flightless birds can do, it’s kind of just like awkwardly clumping towards Conway.
Julia: I can't believe you would use the Cryptid Compendium against me.
Eric: Oh, you know I did, baby. You are all frozen being like, what is this?
Amanda: I didn't expect a bird, that's for sure.
Eric: Like a light, is lit like if there is a nightlight inside of it.
Brandon: I'm like furiously, silently trying to find the page of the book with this in it.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, as you open it up. It says Alicanto. This is a bird that loves to munch on metal.
Brandon: Yummy.
Eric: It clomps forward and then it goes down and it sniffs the bracelet, it sniffs it again. And Conway is fully just snoozing right now and pulls the bracelet off of Conway's wrist, right? And it's like about to chomp into it like it's eating a doughnut, right? As the bracelet is pulled off of Conway's wrist, Conway like sits up quickly and then stands as they quickly turn into a horse that is covered in grass and seaweed.
Julia: Yeeeees!
Eric: Just like as fast as possible, like we went from person to horse immediately.
Julia: This makes me so happy.
Amanda: How dare you listen to Episode 2 of Spirits Podcast.
Julia: I am so happy.
Eric: And Conway the horse, the green horse goes brrrr! and rears up. It is chaos. What do you do?
Brandon: I started flipping to the next page to find out what the fuck this thing is.
Eric: Green horse. Green horse. Green horse.
Amanda: Green horse.
Eric: That is. The only thing that comes up is Kelpie. This is a horse that is usually a protector of water, of lakes and rivers and is covered and that's like that is seaweed. Or I guess if it's a lake, it's not a seaweed, but you're debating that in your head.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: It's like lake weed.
Amanda: I'm going to whip off my sweatshirt, my camp-branded sweatshirt from the 80s and drop out of the tree attempting to catch this bird like a chicken that's gotten loose in a bedsheet.
Eric: Alright, do it I think this is kick some ass.
Amanda: Yeah. Am I good at Tough? Not really. Well, I rolled a 6 on the die +0.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: But I'm gonna use my first luck of the campaign.
Eric: Hell yes. Let's go. Okay, so when you use luck, it's like you crit, it's like you got to 10+. What happens when you use luck every single playbook has some amount of luck.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Or has like a luck to move.
Amanda: So I get to change my roll to 12 however because I'm an Initiate, something is gonna go wrong for my sect, an ill-advised project or disastrous operation.
Julia: No, not the camp.
Eric: Wonderful, I'm gonna keep that in my pocket.
Amanda: Eric just put that right into his pocket.
Eric: In my little shirt-- in my little shirt pocket. You turn into a 12. So you kick some ass, you get to do damage but you also get an extra effect, you gain advantage-- you can take +1 forward to give +1 forward to another hunter, you can inflict extra harm which I don't think you're going to do, you can suffer less harm because when you kick some ass they hit you back, or you can force them where you want them.
Amanda: I'm going to force them where I want them. I want this bracelet out of this Alicanto's mouth and I want the chicken safely ensconced in my sweatshirt. Does that count?
Eric: If you want to put them in your sweatshirt, you can. I was trying to decide if that's allowed in terms of what you forced them where you want them.
Brandon: Eric, sorry. Also, I get when I saw a new type of creature. I immediately get to ask them investigate a mystery question. If that helps you, Amanda.
Amanda: Oh, yeah, you should do that.
Eric: Sure
Amanda: And then we'll decide what to do.
Eric: Yes. As you're flipping through you were looking at your book and you're reading the alicanto. Would you like this to be-- oh, you get one for both? Because the alicanto and the kelpie? Yeah. Why don't you ask one for both, while you're flipping through.
Brandon: So I can ask Amanda. What is it going to do for the alicanto? What can hurt it? To do what is being concealed here? Where did it go? What happened here? What sort of creature is it, what’s gonna hurt it. Are any of those helpful for you, Amanda?
Amanda: I like to know what's being concealed here regarding Conway. Apart from the fact that-
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: -they're a kelpie and then for the Alicanto, I think what can hurt it?
Brandon: Okay. Yeah, I'll ask Yeah. What could hurt it for the alicanto? And then what's being concealed here for my best friend, Conway?
Eric: Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, I'm really sorry that there is someone more interesting than you at camp now and it's Conway
Eric: Alright, for the alicanto, what can hurt it? It's just a bird. It's also especially a bird because although it cannot fly when it's eaten metal recently, that's why it has a big pot belly, is that it can't fly away. So it's actually particularly vulnerable at this moment. You don't need to hurt it necessarily. You can just like, kind of shove it to where you need-
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: -to where you need it to go.
Julia: Amanda, can I make a quick suggestion?
Amanda: Of course.
Julia: Carrie-Ann's probably trained in like CPR and stuff like that, right?
[Amanda agrees]
Julia: Heimlich maneuver on a bird?
Amanda: Mhm. Yeah, that's a great idea.
Julia: Yeah. Okay, great.
Eric: So you can force it where you want to, you can force it into like, into the area where everyone is so that they can grab it and put it in a net.
Amanda: I'm going to keep the bird in my sweatshirt, poke its head out the sweatshirt, neck hole and attempt to do the Heimlich maneuver on the bird.
Eric: Okay, you still need to do damage to it. So I think you can just grapple it. That's fine. Alright. So you force it where you want it, keeping it in your sweatshirt. It does have claws. So it is going to slash you for 2 harm. However, do you have armor? Because you're wearing a heavy jacket?
Amanda: I do. Yes, 1 armor heavy.
Eric: Okay, so since you're you have armor that's reduced to 1.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Just because I didn't say this before we clear everyone's harm if you're under 4 in between sessions if it's long enough, so we kind of cleared all this. So you're back to 0 in terms of harm. So you take 1 harm.
Amanda: On it.
Eric: That shit hurts. I'm giving you a -1 forward on your next roll because you're getting slashed underneath your armor because it's, that's how you're securing it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Ow!
Eric: What's being concealed here? Kelpies are dangerous to humans. Because if you touch a Kelpie, you get stuck to it.
Brandon: That's bad.
Eric: That's bad.
Amanda: They do drag you underwater and you do die.
Eric: Exactly.
Julia: Yes, they’ll eat ya.
Eric: Kelpies are not just grass horses or water grass horses. That is the big danger here and like that's what Kelpies would do when they're malicious creatures. So you want to stay out of the way and actually, I'm gonna give you a +1 to a roll because Conway the Kelpie is going to stampede, is going to run away because they are a horse. So both of you, to avoid the stampede, please roll tough.
Brandon: Cool, cool, cool. Allright, no, not cool, tough. Ha-ha!
Eric: This is the Kelpie's custom move, this is like you need a roll to avoid someone doing something to you.
Amanda: I got a 6, unfortunately.
Brandon: Oh, I got a 7.
Amanda: -1 is a 5.
Eric: Okay, that's with the +1, Brandon?
Brandon: No sorry, then that's 8.
Eric: That's an 8. Okay, here's what happens. The stampeding kelpie just storms away. Carrie-Ann, you're not able to get out of the way. And like I guess you just get bowled over by the stampeding kelpie and you are stuck to Conway. So you are getting hauled away. With an 8, Les, you were able to dive out of the way but now you're directly in the path, like the alicanto gets out of Carrie-Ann's sweatshirt and you are like face to face with the alicanto and it lashes you and you take 2 harm.
Brandon: Great.
Julia: This is going real good guys.
Brandon: Yeah, this was a great plan we did.
Julia: Sorry, I'm not there.
Eric: You are also in range of the alicanto if you want to grab it. So Les, you and Dougie Juice and Jennie, Jennii and Dougie Juice like covers both of you in a net. And the alicanto-- as you were scrambling with the alicanto. You can kind of like back your way out of the net. Carrie-Ann you are stuck to Conway that is trampling away towards the waterhole.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm fine, just get the bracelet!
Brandon: I mean, I'm not gonna let Carrie-Ann get carried away by this kelpie so I'm going to push my body past physical limits with my No Limits move and just run so fast after this kelpie, and on the way there, grab the bracelets out of the alicanto's mouth.
Eric: Yeah. You're able to do that because it's grabbed. Yeah, you're starting to sprint after the the kelpie that is storming away. Let's roll on it.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: That's + Weird.
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Hey, Eric. I really like how you're a small mysterium have bigger mysterium is inside of them.
Eric: It was like a little mystical.
Brandon: It's like a little kinder egg.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
[dice roll]
Julia: Do any of you guys remember Wonder Balls as a-
Brandon: Fuck, yeah.
Eric: Julia, I remember the entire theme song.
Julia: [sings] What's in a Wonder Ball?
Eric and Julia: [sings] Yummy nestle chocolate with candy shapes inside oh i wonder wonder what in a wonder ball!
Eric: Yeah, I got you.
Amanda: Those are great.
Brandon: I got a 10. 8 + 2. So that means that I just do the thing.
Amanda: Ey! That's great!
Eric: Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Okay, so you're keeping up with the kelpie you're running as fast as a horse which is-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, you're running as fast as a horse. Tight as fuck.
Eric: Carrie-Ann. You are stuck to the kelpie. You, I feel like you just have a hand stuck to the side.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Ah!
Eric: Alright, what do you-
Amanda: No, I think it's my butt and my back.
Eric: Your butt and your back is stuck to the side of the kelpie. And it is-
Amanda: Like I'm a saddle bag on the kelpie.
Eric: Alright, what would you like to do? I think both of you are, although stuck, what would you, what do you do like to do?
Brandon: I mean, I'm gonna try to throw the bracelet onto the kelpie.
Amanda: Yeah, or throw it to me and I can just like stick it to it.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that.
Amanda: Because I'm already stuck so you shouldn't touch it.
Eric: Awesome. Why don't we do, let's do an act under pressure move for Les and then Carrie-Ann, you help.
[dice roll]
Brandon: So I get to roll weird instead of cool on that.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: Yeah, and I got a 9 on my help roll. So you get +2 to whatever you roll.
Julia: Damn!
Brandon: Oh, it don't even fucking matter. I got a 12 + 2 for 14, baby.
Julia: Damn! A 16!
Eric: Jesus Christ, what the hell? Oh my god. Alright. Yeah. What are you doing? What are you doing here?
Brandon: I'm not even fucking like breathing hard. I'm just like, chillin’ right next to Carrie-Ann. And I just like, you know, like, it's a fucking Sunday stroll in the evening. I just hand off the bracelet too Carrie-Ann and Carrie-Ann takes it away from there.
Amanda: Yeah, and I will-- Since I'm already stuck to the horse, I'm not worried about touching it. So as it is galloping, I am going to just slip it onto the horse's hoof.
Eric: You reach down as it's storming down. Honestly, this would have been incredibly dangerous getting your hand, one of you getting your hands underneath a galloping horse.
Amanda: I'm already stuck, baby.
Eric: But you, you reach down because you both rolled so well and you are able to slip it back on the horse. Immediately, like, Carrie-Ann you fall, you fall off.
Amanda: The momentum carries me forward.
Eric: Yeah, it's almost like a pop. Like all of a sudden, Conway the horse turns back into Conway with a sweatshirt and you're no longer stuck. So both of you go just like skitter out on the grass. And you both have nasty, nasty grass stains.
Julia: That was sexy, guys. I just want to tell you as someone not in that scene, incredibly sexy.
Amanda: Thank you, Julia.
Brandon: And I just like slide onto my side and then like pop back up to my feet right next to them. Perfect landing
Amanda (as Carrie-An): Les, I'm pretty sure I like girls, but that was awesome.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon (as Les): Hey, I get it. I like girls too. It's great.
Amanda (as Carrie-An): Aren't they? They're great.
Julia: Phoebe's just like-
Julia (as Phoebe): I feel like there's a conversation that I should be there for. It's not-- it doesn't feel like it's a premonition but it- is it?
Amanda: It's just the best friend-monition. Your best friends are hanging out without you. You get a best friend-monition.
Brandon: I love that. I am gonna go into my book and just like check off kelpie and check off alicanto.
Eric: Hell yes. Okay, let's head back to Phoebe. Phoebe, you're sprinting over to the Covered Bridge.
Brandon: The hard-cut comparison between Les running and Phoebe running is incredible on screen.
Julia: It's different. It's real different.
Eric: You're sprinting to the front gate. The gates are open which is-- which is pretty mysterious, because usually the gates are closed especially at night. We're literally for this thing and you're just caught in the lights of two headlights and you hear-
Eric (as Mystery Man): Who? Get out of the way!
Julia: Phoebe's just like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Whew. Deja vu. I'm sorry, you're not allowed in here right now.
Eric (as Mystery Man): Says who?
Julia (as Phoebe): Says... What would Les say? What would Les say? Says me, bitch!
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: And I would like to use magic.
Eric: Yeah, what do you want to do?
Julia: One of my use magics is bar a place or portal to a specific person or type of creature.
Eric: Hell yes. I cannot believe it's written right in here. Alright.
Amanda: That's amazing!
Julia: Alright here we go.
Amanda: Guys we should have been playing as 14-year-olds this entire time.
[dice roll]
Julia: Okay, so that is a 7 + 2 for 9. That means I get one glitch in this.
Eric: Okay cool.
Julia: So what I would like to do is I'm going to take like harm, I think? 1 harm ignore armor.
Eric: Wonderful. As you do this?
Julia: Yes, so I think what Phoebe does is Phoebe like grabs the gate and tries to slam it shut and like the magic from her fingertips like electrifies the gate almost, but also reverberates up her arms and shocks her.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Alright yeah, take 1 harm. As you're electrified, I think that your knees buckle and you're kind of like kneeling in front of the gate. You're definitely in a tough situation here.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Like as you slammed the gate shut
Julia (as Phobe): Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
Eric (as Mystery Man): Ey! We have had enough with this weird fucking camp. The Brothers Boudreaux need our things back and we do not appreciate new weirdos coming and taking our things!
Julia (as Phoebe): I've had enough of you, sir. Please go away
Eric (as Brother Boudreaux): Good one. Got me.
Eric: With the trucks still running they hop down on the road. They are all of equal sizes and wearing exactly the same thing.
Brandon: Oh yeah. And the camp is the weird one. Sure.
Eric: Yeah, they're wearing a tank top advertising a barbecue place down the street. And they're wearing jean shorts. And they're all carrying metal baseball bats and they start banging on the gate with their metal bats and it seems like your protection can only hold for so long as three grown men are trying to break it down.
Julia (as Phoebe): Ahhhh.
Eric: Be like-
Eric (as Brother Boudreaux): Let us in and give us back what you took!
Julia (as Phoebe): Sir. I'm a 13-year-old camp counselor in training. I can't do that.
Eric (as Brother Boudreaux): Okay then let us in and let us talk to your managers.
Julia (as Phoebe): I can't do that either.
Eric (as Brother Boudreaux): Yes, you can!
Julia (as Phoebe): You're threatening a child, sir
Eric (as Brother Boudreaux): The customer [bang!] is always [bang!] right!
Julia: Can I just manipulate them to feel bad and go away?
Eric: You can try. You can certainly try.
Julia: I certainly can. I have a whole -1 to charm but let's go for it, right?
Eric: True. This is related to your premonition though.
Julia: So I add +1?
Eric: Okay, you're gonna do it for this one?
Amanda: So they cancel out?
Julia: Yeah, this is my 1 forward, right?
Eric: Wonderful. Yes, you can use your-- I just want to know that you're using your 1 forward.
Julia: Great. I rolled a 9.
Eric: Okay, a 9. So you want them to feel bad for you?
Julia: I want them to feel bad about trying to like do me harm as a 13-year-old.
Brandon: A young child.
Eric: Okay, because it's a 9, these are aggressors these are monsters these are quote-unquote monsters as it were. You cannot-
Amanda: Eric, you know what? Toxic masculinity is a fucking monster, preach king.
Brandon: Fucking preach.
Amanda: Fucking preach.
Eric: So, with a 9, you can't manipulate monsters or minions as it were. So I'm going to say that they kind of they ignore you because you didn't roll a 10 and be like-
Eric (as Brother Boudreaux): I do not care, small young lady, young lady! You open the gate and let me come to the office and talk this out, so I can say what you gave back-- give back what you all took.
Julia (as Phoebe): I would be happy to have the director give you guys a call any day you want. But right now, I cannot let you inside because the gate is closed and I am not authorized to open the gate back up. Sorry!
Eric (as Brother): We will run this gate open. You know we will, we are the kind of guys who would do that.
Julia (as Phoebe): That's terrifying, sir. I'm 13.
Brandon: What did they take? What did they take?
Amanda: Yeah, what did they take?
Eric: As you're pleading with them, you see that a large claw and yellow eyes are coming out from underneath the cover bridge.
[midroll]
Eric:
Hey, it's Eric. You know what's making me happy right now is hydrating a lot. I love it when that sweet, cool, crisp water is flowing through my veins. I'm like 95% h2o. I am not someone who likes to drink a lot of water. I've only coming around on this recently. But like the least I can do is make my insides feel like a waterfall. And I can be with all you cool kids who pee 10 times a day. It's just nice. I think there has to be something about the straw. It's the straw that's getting me. Welcome to the Midroll. It's 32 ounces, insulated and never stops being cold and crisp. First and foremost. Thank you to our newest patrons, Courtney and Katya. We are so excited about the new benefits we just introduced on the Patreon we think you're going to love it. Remember $5 a month Party Planning. Ad free episodes at $8 a month. Video content at $10 a month and more and more and more. We want to give a special shout-out to our highest level patrons who are playing one-shots with us, the team, we already have two patrons, and we are so, so thankful for all of you. Also, Amanda and I went through the Patreon and retagged all of the campaign one Patreon content so everyone can see that, go all the way back to 2017 and check out our Patreon content at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. It is a great and wonderful day to check out all of the shows in the Multitude Collective because why not listen to more shows that are sound so good with people who are so enthusiastic about what they're talking about. Have you ever wondered what life would be like on a planet different from your own? Or how writers could create your favorite fictional world on wonder no more because we got the facts for you. In Exolore. Every other week, astrophysicist and folklorist, Dr. Moiya McTier, explores fictional worlds by building them with a panel of expert guests, interviewing professional world builders, or reviewing the merits of worlds that have already been built. You'll learn, you'll laugh, and you'll get an appreciation for how special our planet really is. Subscribe today by searching Exolore In your podcast app, or go to exolorepod.com. Dr. Moiya McTier is the single smartest person on the internet right now. And you gotta continue to consume more and more of her thoughts and content and knowledge. Today, we are sponsored by United By Blue. This is a clothing and outdoor accessories company that focuses on sustainability and ethical product sourcing. For every product purchased United By Blue removes one pound of trash from oceans and waterways. That's the blue in the name and how we're united. They are my favorite place to shop for clothing and accessories for outdoor summer hangouts. Like my new best friend, a big water bottle, we're new in our friends. They're also a certified B Corp, which means they're an ethical business. So check them out and get a special discount at jointhepartypod.com/ubb, that's jointhepartypod.com/ubb to check out United By Blue. We're also sponsored this week by Tank Tops, Tank Tops, let your armpits out. And now a word [giggles] And now a word from our sponsor BetterHelp. You don't wanna make my mind feel better? It's drinking a lot of water. It's so silly. But it's like, oh, I don't know how to take care of myself because everything is bad around me. So the only thing I can do is try to like make my little body a little bit better. But I don't want to like go to the gym because of the global pandemic. And eating is like one of the only good fun things I can do. So like, I'm going to drink a lot of water and it's going to be nice for me. And it's going to relieve a little bit of stress for myself that I am taking care of myself, right? But how we care for our minds affects how we experience life. So it's important to invest time and care into keeping your mind and your body and your life healthy. And one of the only ways you can do that is by accessing therapy and BetterHelp is one of the ways you can do that you meet with a therapist via phone, video or live chat, you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. So as soon as you want to do it, you can actually start getting the process going and you can switch to a new therapist for free if you need to, which is very important finding the right therapist. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty that's better H E L P.com/jointheparty. BetterHelp, have BetterHelp for your mind, bone witch and now back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Remember that the covered bridge is over kind of like a dried creek bed. So the covered bridge is useful. It is actually used and that is where you see Zev and his curly black hair. It's poking out and he's like taking steps like toward you and he's like, is he going to come out?
[Brandon chants “Zev”]
Julia: I think Phoebe just like shakes her head like-
Julia (as Phoebe): No, no, no, no. Don't. No, they already think we're weird. Don't. Please don't.
Brandon: Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Eric: If you want that. I will say you can mani- you, Zev wants to help you. If you want to manipulate him you have-- that is a manipulate roll.
Julia: So he wants to come out and help me?
Eric: Yes.
Julia: I don't want to put him in danger, I’m being a bad camp counselor.
Brandon: Eat the douches, eat the douches, eat the douches.
Eric: Gross.
Julia: The worst thing to eat, Brandon.
Brandon: That's true.
Julia: Gosh, I don't know, hold on. You know what, like I'm thinking, I'm trying to be true to the weird dark impulses that I chose for my tags.
Eric: Absolutely.
Julia: And I think that like Phoebe is like going to switch over from being very afraid of these men to being very mad.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Be like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Why, how dare you come to this camp and like threaten the kids that I don't know, I don't remember if I made a vow or like an oath or something like that when I said hey, I'm gonna take care of these kids. But what I'm gonna do-
Amanda: Carrie-Ann made you do an individual oath later on in our cabin.
Julia: Yeah, that's right.
Eric: We cut to the blood oath that Carrie-Ann made all of you do in the woods earlier
Julia (as Phoebe): But this is my job and if you don't back off I am going to have to do something that you will regret, not me.
Eric (as Brother 1): Oh, what is that? Oh, some 13 year old young woman is gonna do something-- is happening.
Eric: And they're banging on the gate and the gate is starting to open up from like the almost magnetic hole that your magic is holding on to all of them.
Julia: Great. I'm gonna slam the gate open and then punch one of them in the chest.
Eric: Hell, yes! How, what do you want to do?
Julia: Big whammy.
Eric: Big whammy, baby!
Brandon: Big whammy!
Eric: So let's explain the big whammy move.
Julia: The big whammy allows me to use my powers to kick some ass. I roll weird instead of tough. The attack has 2 harm close obvious ignore armor. On a miss, I get magical backlash.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: Hell yes. Okay, so you're gonna roll kick some ass. You're gonna do damage, but you're gonna roll + weird?
Julia: Yeah. [dice roll] That's an 11.
Eric: Whoo, baby! Okay, so you kick some ass, you choose one extra effect, you get to kick 1 forward or give 1 forward to another hunter, it’s you by yourself, you inflict terrible harms you could do +! harm, or you personally suffer less harm because they do have baseball bats, or you can force them where you want them.
Julia: Can I force them where I want them? Which is like, away from this gate?
Eric: Yeah, definitely. So explain-- what is the big, what is your big whammy look like?
Julia: I think it really just looks like Phoebe shoves her open palm out towards these men. And like she doesn't make physical contact with them. But like the pulse of magic that comes out of her body does and it pushes them backwards.
Eric: Absolutely. I think there's like there's bright blue lights. And then there you almost hear, feel like a hard gust of wind push the truck and the men sprawling backwards as like the truck skids out like it's a toy car. It is now like 100 feet back. I don't know distances--
Brandon: I'm gonna say, that's really far.
Julia: I rolled really well, Brandon, what are you saying?
Eric: It's like the truck is now like 10 feet back from the gate. And all the brothers are on their ass, they take 2 harm?
Julia: Yeah. And Phoebe just tells them-
Julia (as Phoebe): Office hours are from 9-4 except on Sundays!
Amanda: Yes, Phoebe!
Eric: Hell yes. I think you do take damage back as well.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: I think one of them throws one of their bats at you and it like, hits you with the legs.
Julia (as Phoebe): Ow!
Eric: So take, you take 1 harm.
Julia: Great.
Amanda: But you get, Phoebe, you're gonna have the coolest bruise in all of camp.
Eric: Yeah, just a big, just a big bruise. So they take 2 damage.
Brandon: Just wait till you get to tell Carrie-Ann and Les about this. They're gonna be so impressed.
Amanda: So jealous that we missed it.
Eric: Hell yes. And you still want Zev to stay hidden, right?
Julia: I think for now, I don't want to give these guys more of a reason to like come to this camp and try to, as they said before, "Get them kids."
Eric (as Brother): No more strange kids! First, the-- first the bust of our great great grandfather Barry Boudreaux gets taken and it's pure gold and it's our prized possession, first that gets stolen. And now this young woman has hurt us deeply. Why?!
Julia (as Phoebe): Have you considered that maybe someone who isn't a small child might have stolen your gold bust since it is made of pure gold?
Eric (as Brother): That doesn't make any sense. Only the weird kids from the camp would do that.
Julia (as Phoebe): I bet one of the guys, you probably bragging about it at the barbecue place that you have emblazoned on all of your shirts and someone from there took it.
Eric (as Brother): Oh, you've been to the barbecue place, what's it called?
Julia: I read their shirt.
Eric (as Brother): What's it called?
Julia: You're asking me what barbecue place is called out of character?
Brandon: I thought you were throwing it back at Eric.
Julia: It's called Smokin’ Bones
Eric: Smokin’ Bones. Here's the thing, Julia. Phoebe, here's the real fucking thing. That's-- It's just a picture of Steven. It's the skeleton with sunglasses on holding a big brisket on a platter.
Brandon: A smoked watermelon.
Eric: Yeah, it is a slice of watermelon next to the brisket on the platter.
Julia (as Phoebe): Have you met the skeleton that's on your shirt?
Eric (as Brother): See, weird kid saying weird things!
Eric: They run back to get in the car. One of them hops in the driver's seat, the other two gets in the bed and they rev the engine and be like-
Eric (as Brother): If you don't get out of the way you know what's gonna happen. It's truck o'clock!
Julia: God, what am I gonna do?
Brandon: Scratch their eyes out! Scratch their eyes out!
Eric: You can read a try to read a bad situation
Julia: Yeah, let's try to read a bad situation. I always forget that I can do actions that would help me figure out what to do.
Eric: That no, I just big whammy all the time.
Julia: I big whammy.
Eric: I also want to say that was my SAT strategy, was just big whammy. Maybe there's a question you don't know. Big whammy.
Amanda: Big whammy. Mine was guess C.
Julia: Ooh. Your girl rolled 12 on read a bad situation.
Brandon: Oh shit.
Eric: Hell yes. All right, you rolled a 12 so you get to ask three questions on the-
Julia: Oh shit.
Eric: -read of a bad situation list.
Julia: Great. What's most vulnerable to me?
Eric: Okay.
Julia: What's the best way to protect the victims? And what's my best way out?
Eric: Okay, wonderful. Remember, if you act on any of these answers, you also get +1 ongoing as the information is relevant. The best way out, I will say is like, don't die. Honestly, like that was this one's pretty straightforward. These guys are doofuses. They just want to get into camp to talk, to figure out what's going on, right?
Julia: Okay.
Eric: The best way to protect the victims which I would say is Zev, to have Zev not reveal himself is to take care of this yourself.
Julia: Right.
Eric: However if you are put into a precarious situation, Zev will overcome, it seems like you're handling yourself but as soon as that doesn't happen, Zev is gonna step in.
Julia: I love that for him.
Brandon: Scratch his eyes out. Scratch their eyes out.
Amanda: They can't think we're weirder, right? Like that's fine.
Eric: What's the most vulnerable to me? These guys are big fucking cowards. I think if you hit them again with something, they will run away and you won't have to deal with their, you won't have to kill them is what I'm saying.
Julia: Great. Love that
Eric: They will run away and so that might be an issue and they live close but you will not have to kill them to dispatch them.
Julia: Gotcha.
Amanda: A problem for Episode 6?
Julia: Um, I mean, if I want to scare them, I'm going to big whammy their car.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: I'm just gonna like make it so a dent forms of just like physical force in the bumper of their car.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Cool. What do-- what harm are you at, Julia?
Julia: 2 right now.
Eric: Okay, wonderful. I will say you are going up against a car so I will- they are threatening to hit you with your car with their car.
Brandon: Hey guys. I'm gonna say these guys, jerks.
Julia: They're real dicks.
Amanda: I'm gonna.
Brandon: Big jerks.
Amanda: Brandon, you made me feel really brave. I'm gonna go ahead and say it, unless you're a baseball player, don't be a grown man carrying a baseball bat.
Brandon: I agree.
Julia: Okay, so instead of big whammy, can I inflict harm with use magic?
Eric: Yes. So here's the thing right is like if you want to knock- kicking ass put yourself in situations that do damage.
Julia: Right.
Eric: Yes if you want to try to do magic instead. So you can like snipe them with magic instead of putting your-
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Instead of doing kick some ass you can do that but then you're exposing yourself to different issues.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: But they know she does magic, right? And you're not trying to do harm to the car, you're trying to scare him.
Eric: Right.
Amanda: So that sounds
Eric: Absolutely so do-- I would do magic, yes.
Julia: Okay great. I'm gonna use my first luck point because it just rolled a 4.
Eric: Oh hell yes. Okay, so what is your luck move?
Julia: My luck move is as I mark off luck boxes, your dark side's needs will get nastier.
Eric: Mmmm.
Brandon: I don't like the smile Eric just got us face.
Julia: Alright. So, with a-
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): Phoebe Cooper
Julia: Oh. Okay.
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): Men are not at the top of the ladder of nature. They are like small grubs eating the tree of the world from the bottom.
Julia (as Phoebe): Is it bears?
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): No. Phoebe? No. Enforce the hierarchy of the natural world.
Julia (as Phoebe): W-wolves?
Brandon: Hippopotamus?
Amanda: Squirrels? They seem nasty.
Eric (as Mysteriuos Voice): Phoebe, you can keep guessing I'll tell you what it is if you get it but really, enforce it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Julia: “I’ll let you know if you get it” is really funny from like a dark force.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: I'll let you know if you get it.
Eric: Alright with a 12, the magic works perfectly without an issue, you're using it-- you're inflicting harm 1 harm ignore armor magic obvious.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, you slam the front of the car making a massive dent. Little mushrooms pop up on the car.
Julia: Phoebe just goes-
Julia (as Phoebe): Chicken of the woods!
Eric: Like it's bursting forth from the engine and bursting out like out of the hood as the car is slammed backwards. The brother in the driver's seat hits his head on the steering wheel. The two other brothers like fly out of the truck. The brother who slammed his head against the the steering wheel says-
Eric (as Brother): I'm concussed. Let's get out of here!
Eric: As he spins the wheel and the brothers like try to hop in the truck and one of them falls out and they have to run after the truck is-- the truck speeds back down Fish Hatchery Road.
Eric (as Brother): Wait, brothers, help me!
Eric: And then Phoebe you feel a looming presence behind you.
Eric (as Zev): I could have got em, you didn’t-- you didn’t give me a shot.
Julia (as Phoebe): You know what, Zev? Sometimes, as a camp counselor in training, there are some things that I can't let you as a camper do. But I bet now we can probably go look at the stars and the moon and stuff.
Eric (as Zev): Well, you know, I didn't do it, right.
Julia (as Phoebe): I know you didn't do it.
Eric (as Zev): Well, like who was stealing all the metal? Who stole their pure gold? That would be so soft. How can you get the definition of the face?
Julia (as Phoebe): You just can't, right? Like, science doesn't let you. I don't know. But I bet Carrie-Ann and Les and-- my best friends. I bet they know like something. You know, I bet they solved the mystery.
Eric (as Zev): Oh, hey, that feels. You know, for the first time since camp started, I felt reassured about what's happening here.
Eric: [transformation] As Zev turned back into a 12-year-old boy like with real post Incredible Hulk clothing.
Julia (as Phoebe): Phoebe just goes like, "Okay, we're gonna get you changed. And then we're gonna go up to that hill and we're gonna look at those stars. And also the moon. Is the moon going to be a problem for you?"
Eric (as Zev): No, I think I already transformed. It's actually not a moon thing. It's more like an emotion thing.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah. Big mood guy.
Eric: There are a lot of misconceptions about werewolves. You know what it's actually funny is that that was, the full moon being the cause of transformation was only part of the depiction of werewolves starting in the early 20th century. The first, it was actually for the first movie that depicted this was Frankenstein Meets the Werewolf in 1943. So like, that's a relatively new thing. I don't do that.
Julia (as Phoebe): So, did you get like bit by a wolf or scratched? Or is this like a genetic thing? Like-
Eric (as Zev): Sorry, we're gonna have to become better friends for you to unlock my dark past.
Julia (as Phoebe): You know what, I look forward to that. I really do.
Eric: Wonderful. I think we star wipe away and all six of you CITs are standing a little bit below on the big hill, where all of the Kingfisher and Flycatcher and Sabrewing boys because they actually were good boys this week--
Julia: Aw!
Eric: Get to watch-- go stargazing. A few of the non-binary folk did not want to play flashlight tag, so they ended up joining. There are also a bunch of boys that are spinning around looking up to the stars, and they fall over and one of them vomits all over himself.
Amanda: And all six of us go-
Julia (as Phoebe): Not cleaning that up.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Not cleaning that up.
Brandon: And Les and Carrie-Ann and Phoebe tell each other what happened, and then try to figure out with each other's patchy knowledge about how stars are a metaphor for puberty.
Julia (as Phoebe): Les, do you know what the thing at the top of nature is? I thought it was a bear but it wasn't.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, is this? Is it like a riddle?
Julia (as Phoebe): It might be a riddle. Oh, I'm gonna have to figure out a riddle.
Brandon (as Les): The only megafauna that still exists as a moose, but I don't know if there's like a strict hierarchy or anything.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That feels right.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. I will suggest a moose next time. Thank you.
Eric: Jennii goes-
Eric (as Jennii): What? Who are you talking to?
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm talking to the best friends, Jennii. I know. What did your squad get named by the way?
Eric (as Jennii): Oh, you know, the Raptors.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Hmm. Not the same.
Julia (as Phoebe): That's kind of cool. Not as cool as best friends-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No.
Julia (as Phoebe): -but pretty cool.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean-
Brandon (as Les): Doesn't carry as much emotion
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, you know about animals and stuff. Didn't packers like die out and aren't Best Friends Forever? Isn't that what I learned?
Brandon (as Les): Well, it depends on what-
Eric: Jennii pushes Les out of the way to say-
Eric (as Jennii): Oh, I'm actually we're actually talking about the bird type of raptors. Not like the dinosaur raptors. So that's what-- that's what Matt that's what Matt Jane said that he was talking about like the birds of prey.
Brandon (as Les): Hey, Jennii, hey Jennii, can you please not physically push me?
Eric: Jennii takes one menacing step towards you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You thought Conway, who is tough when they're mad? Don't try Les.
Eric: Conway giggles to themselves and goes [snorts like a horse].
Amanda: Good one, bud.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: And for the rest of the night, Les is going to sit next to Conway and just sort of like take out his book and be like-
Brandon (as Les): Is this right? Is this- is this true? Is this accurate?
Eric: Yeah, it's a lot of that. So you fully know about kelpies now.
Julia: Yay, we did it.!
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: You've listened to Episode 2 of Spirits Podcast, and you really, and they honestly, here's the thing, Julia got some stuff wrong. But I won't tell you what.
Julia: How dare you call me out six years later? Fucking rude.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Alright, this is the end of session part. First of all, did anyone level up?
Amanda: Not yet, but I might.
Julia: I might.
Brandon: I'm raising my hand very high.
Eric: Ooh, good job, Brampton.
Julia: Oh, Brampton!
Eric: Good job. So you will-- you'll have a new thing that you're going to do next time. But let's see how much experience I'll get from our end-of-session questions. First question. Did we conclude the current mystery?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Yes, it was an alicanto that was doing it. It wasn't Zev. Second, do we save someone from certain death or worse?
Amanda: Phoebe definitely saved Zev from bullying but also maybe being seen and hunted by those men. I would argue.
Julia: I would, I would say that, but that's up to the keeper here.
Eric: I think if we combine Conway's danger, in like if the alicanto ate the bracelet, plus Zev? I would say yes.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: And then did we learn something new and important about the world?
Julia: I would say so.
Amanda: I would say so.
Brandon: Yeah, we learned that at least two creatures exist.
Julia: And that there's something that thinks nature, I don't know.
Eric: Whatever's going on with Phoebe, we learned for sure.
Julia: Bears are not the top of nature.
Brandon and Amanda: Nor wolves.
Julia: Nor wolves. Might be a moose. We haven't decided that yet.
Eric: Yeah. Did we learn something new and important about one of the hunters? I think so.
Julia: Also, yes.
Amanda: I think so.
Eric: I think so. We learned that Les is superhuman, apparently.
Julia: Well, we also found out that Les went through puberty at 9 years old. So that also helped.
Brandon: That is true.
Eric: That wasn't even a burn. That's just like a truth.
Julia: No. That's true.
Eric: That's a true fact. Well, we said yes to 4 out of 4 of the questions.
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: So everyone gets 2 experience.
Amanda: I leveled up, baby.
Brandon: Fuck yeah!
Eric: Oh, another level up for Carrie-Ann!
Amanda: Eyy!
Julia: I'm excited.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright, so we're gonna get our new we're gonna get new stuff from both Les and Carrie-Ann next session, and then what do you at, Pheebs?
Julia: And I got 2 experience points.
Eric: Cool. Alright, so we're gonna level- we're gonna level up Les and Carrie-Ann because Carrie-Ann failed a lot.
Amanda: Sure did.
Eric: So, this is wild.
Julia: Sorry, bud.
Amanda: Tight.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Alright.
Amanda: Love it.
[crickets]
Eric: Carrie-Ann. You're given the alicanto to be dealt with in the net.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: What do you do with it? Who or where do you take it?
Amanda: Yeah, I am going to take it out toward the wall, toward the edge of camp. And using the net and my sweatshirt, just sort of put it down covered in the net, sweatshirt, you know, there to protect my own arms. And I'm going to try to like tickle its belly, squeeze its sides. Give it bird seed. Anything I can to try and make it upchuck it's valuables.
Julia: Heimlich maneuver on the bird. This is what I'm saying.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna just increase. You know, I'm gonna try tickling it. I'm gonna try squeezing it a little bit and I'm gonna try like a full Heimlich maneuver.
Eric: I like it's like, I just love the idea of you behind the bird, giving it the Heimlich maneuver.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. it spits out like silver dollars and Sacagawea coins. And then it starts spitting out like gold chains.
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: And then finally eventually go. [squeals] And an entire bust of the Boudreaux ancestral father just comes out. But then it just like it starts to-- it feels lighter.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Like it feels good. Like you took a big burp and like it feels physically pretty okay. And then it starts pecking at the Sacagawea coins.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm going to grab it up again. And looking from left to right, to make sure that Steven is not within view. I will just kind of like chuck it over the wall. So my hands are not going to go over the wall. Just the bird.
Julia: Oh my god, I'm just picturing you. Have you ever seen those videos of the people trying to like rehabilitate birds of prey?
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Julia: And so like sometimes they just like throw the bird and the bird takes off and it's really nice. And I'm just picturing you doing the thing that sometimes also happens which is they throw the bird and the bird just falls to the ground.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Julia, 100%, that's what happened. The alicanto goes limp and then goes, [squawks] and falls right in front of the wall. And then behind you, Carrie-Ann, you see a light and you hear.
Eric (as Director Löw): Carrie-Ann. What are you doing?
Eric: As you turn around and Director Löw has like a big lantern like an old-timey lantern.
Brandon: The British are coming.
Eric: It has like a, like a big sweater kind of wrapped around her shoulders, t-shirt shorts, and then like big sweater.
Brandon: Sleep hat with the bobble at the end
Eric: She's not-- it’s not the middle of the night, Brandon, she's out for a walk.
Julia: Ebenezer Scrooge.
Amanda: Sorry, Brandon, not to sort of correct you. But like another option might be one if land, two if by bird, is just what I want to put out there for your consideration.
Eric: What day is it? Is it June 28th?
Brandon: You there, go by the biggest turkey in the storefront!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Director, great news, there was a whole thing with this bird that was sneaking in to eat children's valuables. They were like, I'm not going to use the B word. But like, it was pretty close to a bullying situation in terms of targeting one of the kids, you know, in the Kingfisher cabin.
Eric: Goddamn it, Amanda.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): And so, so we dealt with it, um, it was really like a group project really with, with Conway and Jennii. And like, of course us, the best friends. And so we took care of it, it was this alicanto just like a bird, kind of like flightless because it was so sort of engorged with valuables. And look, it's right there!
Amanda: And then a point down where a pile of chains and coins and one bust is covered in some sort of mucus.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): And like, who brought a bust to camp? Weird. So I just chucked it over the wall, and it's, it's good to go.
Eric (as Director Löw): Carrie-Ann, I really appreciate the initiative.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): You're welcome. You're welcome
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Hold for applause.
Eric (as Director Löw): But you know, this is actually on me, I was going to give you proper cryptid procedure training.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): I love training.
Eric (as Director Löw): And I was- I was upset.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): Is it in the handbook?
Eric (as Director Löw): Yes, this there is.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): A certificate?
Eric (as Director Löw): Carrie-Ann, can I tell you something?
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): Anything.
Eric (as Director Löw): The thing that I worry the most about in the world is Boo getting hurt. And I turn-- I put that on you. And you are old enough as an actual staff member, that I shouldn't be letting my emotions take hold. And I was really upset at you, that you were-- that you had swam, and you were putting Boo in danger. So I want to apologize to you for that. And then this week, in the first week of camp, I was going to train you in cryptid removal procedure but again did not get the chance and that's why we've kind of put ourselves in this tough situation here. So we don't put it over. We actually don't put it over the wall. We take-- I take it back I give it over to Assistant Director Z. And then he drives it out in the front of camp and kind of lets it out into the woods outside of the wall area.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): Ah, that makes sense.
Eric (as Director Löw): So again, I'm sorry, you're gonna have to tell me what happened to here sometime. This is, this is pretty interesting. This is pretty great.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): I would love nothing more than very regular one on ones with you.
Eric (as Director Löw): Yeah, we can. Yes, we can definitely do that. Why don't we start tomorrow? And I'll get you I'll do we'll do like a speed course of-
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): Accelerated training for advanced students?
Eric (as Director Löw): The accelerated training for advanced CITs
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): Yes! Excuse me.
Eric (as Director Löw): And future training course. Carrie-Ann, I guess I took this for granted. Why do you love camp so much?
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): Um, camp is everything to me. And I hope one day I can just mean something to camp.
Eric (as Director Löw): That is so sweet in, you know, one on one, so sweet. And maybe I should be looking for that instead of you in group situations. You're maybe-- you're more earnest than-- okay, all right.
Amanda (As Carrie-Ann): Um, one of my teachers once told me that I was like a, an individual size waffle maker versus like the four packs that um, that you find in commercial kitchens. So um, maybe that's maybe-- that's what he meant like, maybe better one on one versus in a group but like maybe I can grow one day to be to be like good for the group too.
Eric (as Director Löw): You're going to need to know that if you're ever going to be camp director one day so we'll work on that.
Amanda: [gasps] Carrie-Ann just like sits down.
Eric (as Director Löw): So Carrie-Ann, I'll take the net, just go hang out with your friends. It's-- go find Les and Phoebe. You're working too hard and I cannot believe I'm saying that to a 14-year-old.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I will work hard on working less.
Eric (as Director Löw): Oh Carrie-Ann. It's fine. Alright. Have a good night.
Amanda: I scoop up all the bounty and my sweatshirt and give her a little grin and run off.
Eric: Director Löw takes the net from you, just holding out in front of her as the alicanto was like squawking, borking, and the walkie-talkie on her hip goes off. It goes-
Eric (as Boo): [over walkie-talkie] Mom, where are my snacks?
Eric (as Director Löw): Boo, you're not allowed to use the staff walkie-talkie, that's only for Head Staff.
Eric (as Boo): [over walkie-talkie] Okay, but I talked to Alice and she said I could ask you where my snacks were.
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay, no tell-- please put Alice back on the walkie talkie you shouldn't do that.
Eric: She starts talking on the walkie-talkie. She turns around and the alicanto kind of sticks its head out from the net. And it uses its hooked beak to fish out Director Löw keys, and the jingles on the ground as it as it hits the ground but it kind of falls like a pile of leaves so it's softer, and Director Löw is saying.
Eric (as Director Löw): Boo, give back the walkie-talkie you should not be using it. Also, you had s’mores earlier. I'm sure you're getting it all sticky. You can't do that.
Eric: And the alicanto kind of roots around on the keys. And it finds something shiny, particularly shiny, and it's the whistle and it goes blop! And the whistle is gone.
[theme]
Transcriptionist: KM