Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook Rule #5: Always follow the chain of command. It is as follows: Director, Assistant Director, Head of Age Group, Springer, House Demon, Senior Counselor, Junior Counselor, Spirit of the Pines, CITs, Camper With Most Gumption, Tallest Camper, Sport Staff, Birds, Bears, Talking Snacks, Fish.
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
[Theme music]
Eric (as Bones): [via the PA system] This is John Bonez Bones with your weather report, weather report, weather report here on the PA system. It's gonna thunderstorm, guys and gals and pals. So we’re gonna do what we always do here at Camp Die, we're gonna go on the field and get it all muddy and we're all gonna be muddy. But make sure that you go by age back into the shower house to clean yourselves up. We don't want anyone being trampled over while they're in the shower house, which is a strange artifact of that it was like fine in the 70s. And it wasn't weird that everyone was just showering together. We’re children, it's fine. So make sure to watch out for your other friends when they're going to the shower house to clean off the mud. And also, there are teeth in the mud on the field. So watch out when you are sliding. That’s John Bonez Bones with your weather report. Watch out for thunderstorms.
Julia: Did you say teeth?
Eric: What?
Julia: Huh?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: What? Huh?
Eric: Huh.
Amanda: Like in the way that bedrock is the teeth of the earth or just like loose teeth?
Brandon: Bedrock is a teeth of- hold on. I gotta unpack that one. Bedrock is the teeth of the earth.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Amanda: Think about it.
Eric: Amanda, I really appreciate you taking the heat off of me by saying that.
Brandon: What is the layer beneath the bedrock? Is that just the bones of the earth?
Julia: The gums!
Amanda: Well, I know that teeth aren't attached to your skull but it feels that way. It's like- It's like bones from just the very inside which is the skeleton are just coming out to the top somehow and that's what bedrock is like.
Brandon: Yes, okay, yes.
Amanda: It should be covered by the earth which is the duvet on top of the bed. But instead the bedrock is out.
Brandon: Not to mix metaphors. But the bedrock is the blanket lining and teeth of the earth.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Oh my God.
Eric: Everyone, just think about how your teeth are bones you can see?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Just think about that for a second.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: That's pretty cool.
Amanda: Yeah. And Carrie-Ann writes in her notebook, teeth underline, underline, underline. She has like a very thick spiral notebook that she's divided into alphabetical sections and under F for Field, as well as a cross-reference under I for Inclement weather, she is writing about watch out for teeth when mud sliding, going in order. She's making her own handbook about the camp because-
Julia: Incredible.
Amanda: -who knows what documentation’s existed before her.
Brandon (as Les): Uh, Carrie-Ann. When you find those teeth, can you can you share them so I can look them up in my book and just see where they're from?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, definitely.
Brandon (as Les): Cool, thanks.
Julia (as Phoebe): Also, like make sure that they're actually teeth and not just like weird-looking rocks, I guess?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, I– I'm not really sure if this is like a metaphorical or a biological teeth situation. But in both cases, you know, in terms like health and safety, you know, I think it's really important. So we'll just make sure they don't you know, like, expose the skin of any of our campers and you guys can go ahead and investigate. That'd be fun.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Thanks.
Eric: As you are all discussing teeth, there is like a sizable group of campers that are kind of just staring over at the three of you. Like-
Eric (as Campers): [under his breath] Are they, are they talking about teeth? What are they talking about? What are those CITs doing?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Has anyone stepped on a tooth today?
Eric: They all just kind of look at you and they clam up.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You're not in trouble. If you need us, we're here.
Eric: And they all run away.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): They heard me, they know, they know.
Eric: That’s true. Hey, I heard we have some birthdays and by birthdays I mean level-ups to talk about here on the podcast.
Brandon: [sings to the tune of Happy Birthday] Happy level up to you. Happy level up to you.
Julia: [sings to the tune of Happy Birthday] Happy level up to you. Happy level up to level two.
Brandon: Ah, fuck. Fuck, that's a good one. FUCK!
Eric: [sings to the tune of Happy Birthday] Feliz compleaños Level Up. Alright, who's leveling up here?
Amanda: Me!
Brandon: Me!
Julia: Not me.
Eric: Tell me about it.
Amanda: This is my second level up and I'm going to take an improvement to Cool so I go from 1 to 2 which is my maximum.
Julia: Dang.
Amanda: And that applies to Act Under Pressure and Help Out.
Brandon: Sick.
Eric: Oh, man. Carrie-Ann's so juicy with stats.
Julia: Help Out is very helpful, so thank you.
Amanda: You're welcome.
Brandon: You just grab Carrie-Ann and squeeze her and just like juice comes out with a sponge. So juicy.
Eric: Gross.
Amanda: And I go-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm helping!
Brandon: You said it, Eric, because you're gross, alright.
Eric: It's still gross. I still agree.
Brandon: I also leveled up and I chose to take another move from my playbook. And I took a move called Occam's Broadsword. And the effect is when you first encounter something strange, you may ask the Keeper what sort of thing it is. They will tell you if it or the cause is natural, an unnatural creature, a weird phenomenon or a person, and I gain +1 going forward dealing with it.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: And Eric, we talked about the sort of like rules in sandbox of this if you want to-
Eric: Yeah, so it's the first time that you see like, a particular weird thing. So for example, if you saw Conway in their Kelpie form, you would not be able to do this because you've already seen them. But the +1 forward, this is very much like the moves urging you to do story things, is kind of the way Monster of the Week works. So the way that it's worded it +1, to dealing with the thing, I think that you only get +1 forward if you like, do immediate action, and deal with it in like a tangible way.
Brandon: Yeah. So like if I tried to put the Kelpie in a net, or something.
Eric: Yeah, like you're if you want to catch something, if you want to fight something, if you want to save someone, you got to like act on it immediately.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Do you also get an actual broadsword, Brandon, or is that just part of the name?
Brandon: I do, but it's the size of a razor, so it's a really small sword.
Julia: That’s funny.
Eric: It's just a lot of Les walking into Scooby Doo episodes and unveiling-- unveiling like, like monsters to be like the farmer from the beginning of the episode.
Brandon: That's Greg. That's a farmer. That's Daphne in a mask.
Amanda: And that's a fog that'll steal your soul.
Eric: It's gonna be a lot of Brandon being like, hey, Eric, is that guy in a costume? And I'm like, yeah, it is.
Julia: Yeah, that’s Jim Cummings doing a Cajun accent.
Eric: Alright, wonderful. So it is, you guys all live in this? I guess we never talked about this. You all live in the same cabin? Do you think that there are like CIT cabins? What do you think?
Julia: I feel like there's maybe like, so each of the cabins is split into age groups, right?
Eric: Yeah, like for the campers.
Julia: So I picture almost like a like alcove for the cits who are working with that specific group of campers?
Brandon: Yeah, would there be like, wouldn't we be near our group of campers that we're working with? I don't know how this works in real life.
Eric: So sometimes, like you would have specialty staff would be live-ins in cabins. So like you would have like one of the swim staff with live, like to help like, supervise when they're not doing swim staff stuff, like there would be a live-in for that cabin. And like the CITs, when I thought about CITs, they were kind of like their own age group.
Brandon: Gotcha.
Eric: That was the way that I that we dealt with it is like, the oldest age group were also the CIT, so I'm kind of changing that a little bit for us. So I thought that like either there would be like, all of the CITs would live together in like a divided bunk.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Or you can live with the campers. But I think though the CITs here, though, all of the CIT cohorts kind of like do everything. So it might be a little bit different.
Julia: Yeah, okay.
Amanda: Maybe, we have a cabin where we all live and Julia, I like just the word alcove. And also all it implies. And so maybe it was, you know, it used to be used for something else. And so we have almost like, not exactly rooms to ourselves, but like little nooks with like, a little curtain. Like a bunk bed with a desk under it.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: You know, so we can, we have graduated to a little bit of personal space.
Julia: More privacy than the rest of the campers get.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: And there's a big sign above the door that says no co-mingling.
Eric: I do like that. I remember from my camp, there used to be a judo hut, where it was like just a hut that had like a lot of, you know, like the gymnastics pads on the floor where they taught judo.
Amanda: Oh, I bet it smells.
Eric: But then it turned, they turned it into a boy's cabin because they needed it for- because there was more campers.
Julia: And people just weren't doing judo anymore.
Eric: I like the idea that it was like a building for something else-
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: -then got turned into the CIT cabin.
Amanda: That's really good.
Eric: I think it's very funny.
Julia: I like that.
Eric: Yeah, what was I wonder what the old thing was?
Julia: It might- it might just be the judo hut. That's very funny.
Eric: The judo hut?
Amanda: Why not?
Brandon: Maybe one of the people that works at the camp now used to be the judo instructor. And they were hired originally to be the judo instructor. But now they have like a cooking assistant job or something, you know.
Eric: Wonderful. I'm gonna write that down the cook-- The Head Head of cooking is also used to be the judo guy.
Julia: So is that uh-
Eric: Oh, no, it's Springer. No, it's not Springer. It's like there's like- an activity is cooking.
Julia: Okay, so like teaching cooking and like campfire cooking stuff.
Eric: Yes, exactly.
Julia: Not in charge of cooking for the camp.
Amanda: That’s really good.
Brandon: Alright, you guys are going to judo chop your carrots next. I think judo's defensive. I don't think there's any chopping.
Julia: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: It's so funny. It's like it used to just be this shed and now that there's still all the gymnastics pads in the corner
Julia: We just throw each other against them.
Eric: Yeah. They never, they never moved. It's just in the corner but there's also like a ton of bunk beds in there too.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And there's definitely holes in the wall, right?
Julia: Hundo p.
Amanda: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, the roof- there's like a little steam vent between the roof and the wall just a few inches to let the smell out and let the air in. I mean, I imagine like we have used those mats, like that's what we use to make the partitions. If it was a judo hut then it's probably a big open room, right?
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: So maybe we use those mats and we've like rigged them up to the rafters you know, to make like kind of room dividers, but probably at least a couple of times during the summer, we just pile them all in the middle the floor and jump off the bunk beds, you know, and like dive onto them.
Brandon: Yeah!
Julia: 100%
Eric: Absolutely.
Brandon: How many mats do you want to jump on? I could do 3. Well, I can only do 2.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Well, I'll try 1. Don't do 1, that's gonna kill you!
Amanda: My bones are brittle. I need 4!
Eric: Dougie Juice wakes everybody up in the morning by jumping off of all the mats stacked above each other onto a whoopee cushion.
Julia (as Phoebe): Dougie, please, Dougie, no!
Eric (as Dougie): Get up, nerds! Time to wake up! I'm going on a run, see you later! My knees are shot because I grew too much too fast.
Eric: Hey, Les. Hey, bud.
Brandon (as Les): Hey, what up?
Eric: How are you feeling? Um, now that you know monsters are real, what's up with that?
Brandon: Well, you know, he spent his entire life sort of trying to confirm that they are real and has never really had a strong piece of evidence and never really seen anything like straight on directly in the eyes-to-eyes realm. But now he has. So I think he's a little panicked. It's like that thing where you like, it's like a dog catches his own tail, you know? Like you work so-
Julia: You know.
Brandon: Yeah, what do I do with this tail now?
Eric: No, I'm imagining Les has a tail, and he’s holding it.
Brandon: So I think like his first thought is like, fuck do we need to like, get protection for ourselves? Like, what if I run into one of these things again? Like I don't know what to do. I have information but I don't know how to like protect myself and the campers from these things.
Eric: For sure. I think Les has been like obviously fretting about this. You're just walking around camp and you're just like, what if a werewolf, what if a werewolf attacks? What do I do?
Brandon: Yeah, I'm just like, mumbling to myself. What if werewolf? What if? What if? What if?
Eric: There's a very loud knock on the judo hut door. Just like slam slam slam as the lightning strikes and there's thunder behind it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Bed inspection, I knew is what happened. Quick, quick hospital corners, hospital corners!
Brandon: In my head, there's a doorbell on this cabin that says, "Hi-Yah!" as you press it.
Amanda: It's very good.
Julia: Oh, no.
Eric: The door, door slams open. And there's another crack of lightning.
[Brandon as Les screams in shock]
Eric: You see a 7-foot-tall figure silhouetted at the door. It says-
Brandon (as Les, in a high-pitched scream): WEREWOLF!
Julia: The highest Les' voice has gone.
Brandon: I know
Julia: In like three years.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, buddy. You know how you told me to tell you if your voice cracks? That was one of them.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Eric: And from the door for the large silhouette, you hear--
Eric (as AD Z): Could I talk to Les quickly?
Amanda: Phoebe and I make eye contact.
Brandon: I noticed that it's-
Eric: It's the Assistant. Yeah, this is Assistant Director Z.
Brandon: Z.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah Z, here or in public sight? Or should we just make sure in front of everyone?
Eric (as a CIT): Ooooh they’re going off to go somewhere private.
Eric (as AD Z): No, we're no, we're not.
Brandon (as Les): That's illegal.
Eric (as AD Z): Just I didn't say, I didn't say that. Everyone here is the one who's making it weird.
Brandon (as Les): I know. I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to everyone here.
Julia: Phoebe gently raises her hand and is like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Is Les in trouble?
Eric (as AD Z): No, Phoebe. Also, Phoebe, I know during the orientation, we said raise our hands. You don't need to raise your hand anymore.
Julia (as Phoebe): We were just in a group setting and I had a question so I just raised my hand because that's what I was conditioned to do.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Good job, Phoebe. That was smart.
Eric (as AD Z): Okay, Phoebe, we'll work on that. We'll-- I'll set up some self-actualization classes in a little bit don't, it’s fine-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Phoebe, let's go untuck Jennii's top sheet corners that way she gets in trouble.
Julia (as Phoebe): I don't think that that's what he's here for. But like, if you want to do that we can.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Thank you. I would.
Eric (as AD Z): I want to be very clear. I am not here to look at anyone's beds. That's not what I'm here to do. You're all putting this on me. I just want to talk to Les really quickly.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann opens her notebook and crosses out in under B for bed inspections.
Brandon (as Les): To be fair, you do have that, that kind of presence. You know, just like the you’re in trouble presence. That's just kind of your vibe.
Eric (as AD Z): The only person who's in trouble here is someone who doesn't feel like they can talk to me, Assistant Director Z.
Julia: Phoebe is immediately like-
Julia (as Phoebe): [under her breath] Oh, shit, I'm in trouble.
Eric (as AD Z): Les, you could just, just- let's, no just me, just come out here. It's fine, fine.
Brandon (as Les): I'm right behind you.
Brandon: I'm gonna grab a hoodie and trail out after.
Eric: I think you're just like huddled underneath the kind of like the small overhang in front of the door of the CIT cabin/Judo hut. Which Assistant Director Z's hand is like brushing up against the top of it. And like the majority of him is just soaked in rain. And he seems okay with it. He's still even though you're, you've been six foot tall since you were nine years old. You still get to bask of the overhang of this giant man.
Brandon: In Les' his head he checks, mentally checks of a list. It's like Alright, Assistant Director Z cannot be any form of monster that can't get wet. Check.
Eric (as AD Z): Oh, don't worry about me. I’m wearing extra extra waterproof-- I have an extra waterproof jacket that keeps me protected from the rain.
Brandon (as Les): I wasn't worried.
Eric (as AD Z): Okay, well, I did see you write down that I'm not wa-- that I'm not wa-- that I am waterproof and I can't- I'm Les, I'm concerned.
Brandon: I said it mentally.
Eric (as AD Z): Les, I'm concerned. I saw you mentally note me. Les, I'm concerned, your- your- your fun-loving attitude has changed a little bit over the last few days and I wanted to check in with you.
Brandon (as Les): Whaaaaat?! Nooooooo!
Eric (as AD Z): It's things, it's things like this where I've never heard your voice go that high before. And I've heard it go high multiple times over the last few minutes. So I just wanted to check in with you to make sure that you're doing alright, because it's my sole responsibility to defend the emotions of my- of my CIT and staff members.
Brandon (as Les): Honestly, can I be honest with you, AD Z?
Eric (as AD Z): Always.
Brandon (as Les): Well, I realized recently that I don't have any way to defend the camp or the campers in case I run into a bear or anything else in the woods. I just have my, I just have my walking stick.
Eric (as AD Z): That's a good point. We definitely don't want any bears around harassing any of the campers and I think that's a good thought to have.
Brandon (as Les): I was watching-- Have you seen the great history show called Alone before?
Eric (as AD Z): Yes, it comes off. It comes on after Forged in Fire.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Eric (as AD Z): That's my favorite television show. Because I love seeing the different ways that people can make things that will hurt things.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, I love it. Yeah. Yeah.
Eric (as AD Z): About the human ingenuity. It's about the human condition.
Brandon (as Les): It is.
Eric (as AD Z): Don't worry about the other thing I said.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Human condition is about iron. Well, in Alone, I heard and saw that black bears can make really weird sounds and they're very fast and I think there's probably black bears here. And you know, obviously I'm a little scared of them.
Eric (as AD Z): Is there anything else you're concerned about?
Brandon (as Les): Well, Springer said that we were low on bacon in the Mess Hall. And that's a little worrying to me, because I like to put the bacon in the waffle.
Eric (as AD Z): First of all, I want to point out that you're the reason why we're low on bacon. Fine, but also self-created problems, like a lot of our problems, we create them ourselves. Is there anything going on?
Brandon (as Les): Bacon pancakes, bacon bacon pancakes.
Eric (as AD Z): Okay, is there anything going-- I know you're just speaking because you're nervous, is there something going on at home or your personal life that is happening here? Because I just want you to be able to feel like you can open up to me and that we can get down to the root of what the issue is. Is there something else you're concerned about? In yourself or in the woods or the woods of yourself?
Amanda: Woah.
Julia: Meta.
Brandon: How much does AD Z know about like the big obvious things like the robot in the, I guess he wouldn't know about that because it went underwater, right?
Eric: Maybe, he did pull Jane away.
Brandon: That's true.
Eric: And did see some of that stuff, but I don't know if Les knows. Let me give you two obvious points. One, adults are stupid and don't believe in monsters and stuff. On the other hand, he is the Assistant Director of this camp.
Brandon: Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): AD Z, can I-- can I level with you again?
Eric (as AD Z): It still stands, my man.
Brandon (as Les): Okay. Well, first, I'm a little bit concerned about my second cousin once removed, Carrie-Ann.
Julia: What?
Brandon: Remember that we're like second cousins?
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Brandon (as Les): She's been making a lot of notes in the notebook. And I am concerned that she's not really experiencing camp in the way that she hopes to and tends to experience camp as opposed to just like writing about camp, you know?
Eric (as AD Z): Sure.
Amanda: Damn, Brandon, read to filth.
Julia: Whoa.
Brandon (as Les): But on the other hand, do you think that like, monsters are real? Because I do. And I have this book that says they are and I'm scared that they are.
Eric (as AD Z): I do think monsters are real and it's something we need to be aware of.
Brandon (as Les): Are you one of them? You’re taking way too long to answer this question.
Eric: I think that as Director Z makes at face that you the only only the way that like a teenager says something blunt to you that like you wouldn't say in conversation, like, "Hey, how's the divorce, Diane? Fine?"
Brandon: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Eric: He just makes like that screwed-up face like I can't believe you just said that in a conversation with a person.
Brandon (as Les): AD Z, AD Z, I'm sorry. Clearly, you're wet. Most monsters don't like to get wet. I'm sorry.
Julia: Famously, monsters don't like to get wet.
Eric (as AD Z): I am concerned about the monsters that we have here at camp. And no, I do not consider myself to be one of them. Because the real monsters are those who don't listen to each other.
Brandon (as Les): Rich. Yeah.
Eric (as AD Z): And support each-- yes and support each other here at Camp. You know, if there's something you're concerned about. If you're worried about defending camp, I know that you're very handy. I've been talking to Frankie, and I think there's something that I can help you with. I used to have-
Eric: How would he go? How would you characterize this thing?
Julia: Are we, are we just going to ignore the fact that this man says “I don't consider myself a monster?”
Brandon: I know! I know!
Eric (as AD Z): I used to have a well, a weapon for protection that I used to have in camp. It shot-- it was a net gun. It was very cool. I don't have I'll, Les, I'll be honest with you. I miss it very much because it's awesome. I had it during staff week. I don't remember where it is. But if you do find it, you feel free to make that yours. And you can-- and if you can find my net gun, that's fine.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, thank you. I'll take a look for it. And real quick. Think fast!
Brandon: And can I flick a silver coin at this man real quick?
Eric: Yeah, sure. I'm sure you have that in your monster tracking gear, right?
Brandon: Right. Exactly. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, he snatches it out of the air. He was like-
Eric (as AD Z): Is this? Is this what the kids are doing? I feel like I'm being, I'm being pranked.
Brandon (as Les): It's a challenge coin. And I challenge you to have the most fun you can camp.
Eric (as AD Z): I will.
Eric: And he looks at it and he puts it in his pocket.
Brandon (as Les): Great. Can I have that back actually?
Julia: That’s not how challenge coins work.
Eric (as AD Z): Oh, I'm sorry. I– I'm very overwhelmed that I called a weapon cool to you and then you throw a coin at me, guy
Brandon (as Les): Well here, AD Z, it’s not, it’s not really a weapon--
Eric (as AD Z): It's protection from bears, it's protection from bears.
Brandon (as Les): I would never-- I would even if the monster I'm never going to actively hurt a thing. I'm only going to try to protect myself from it. And it from itself and maybe learn more about it you know.
Eric (as AD Z): Well, please don't fire them at monsters because we can just talk to them and figure out what the root of-- what the root problem is from people who we feel like don't listen to our feelings so don't, please don't shoot the net gun at monsters just at bears and other types of wildlife.
Brandon (as Les): 100%.
Eric (as AD Z): If it's only if you're that, but yes, if you find it you are more than happy to have that on your person.
Brandon (as Les): I will be more than happy to take that, thank you.
Eric (as AD Z): Well, okay, here's your coin back.
Brandon: And then Les' hand singes a little bit? Oh no.
Eric (as AD Z): Just stay cool, Les. You know, it doesn't help anyone for you to get stressed out if you're the one in the situation that can help them the most.
Brandon (as Les): Thanks, I'll, yeah.
Eric: He gives you a real strong dad pat on the shoulder and you take one harm and you-
Eric (as AD Z): Oh, you know what, while you're all here, if cohort C is still here, I would really love it if all of you could run something down for me.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, come on, come on in and I'm gonna hit the doorbell to gather everyone.
Julia: Hi-yah!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Team Friendship!
Eric: Yes. #TheBestfriends.
Julia: They opened the door and then Carrie-Ann and Phoebe are like by Jennii bed like, and it looks fine. It looks good, but it's not hospital corners and they're like [evil giggles]
Amanda: I switched it to go like under instead of over and I'm like [evil giggles]
Julia (as Phoebe): So embarrassing.
Eric (as AD Z): You have Cohort C so could go check out the Flycatcher cabin, the nice one. It seems like they're having a furniture issue. Can you just look at-- look into it and see if there's something we need to do there. If they're missing a bed, if they need more beds. They weren't very clear in the requisition form that we got from the staff members. So it'd be-- it would be wonderful if you could check that out.
Julia: Phoebe raises her hand again.
Eric (as AD Z): Phoebe, yes?
Julia (as Phoebe): Are we Cohort C?
Eric (as AD Z): You’re Cohort C, yes.
Julia (as Phoebe): We're the Best Friends, is that the same thing?
Eric (as AD Z): Oh, is that, that’s officially your name?
Julia (as Phoebe): That's what we were told.
Eric (as AD Z): Okay. The Best Friends, please check out the nice Flycatcher cabin, please.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I will and Assistant Director Z?
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as AD Z): Everyone needs to stop raising their hand. You can just- it's, we've, we're not in a meeting it's, it's fine.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): It is an audio medium and so-
[laughter]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No, Assistant Director Z, if we need to is it okay if we go into like the crawl space and the storage from the plays and stuff? I know that there's some like furniture down there like is that where we should get it from if they do need something new?
Eric: Yeah, Carrie-Ann, why don't you do your Initiate move, and then Phoebe, give me your premonition roll.
Julia: Great. I rolled a 7 + 2 for a 9.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: And I've got a 7 + 0 so I get a mission associated with our mystery, if I do it I'll get some info or help and if I don't I get into bad standing again.
Eric: Right. There you have the mission and then what is yours? What's your middling roll, Julia?
Julia: I get clouded images of something bad that has yet to happen, mark experience if you stop it.
Eric: Phoebe… [laughs]
Amanda: Never good when Eric says your name and laughs.
Eric: Phoebe, you're struck by an image of campers going to their respective shower houses covered in mud. And then all of a sudden they turn on the shower heads. And it's like, horror movie zoom in on the shower heads. And just like green goo, just comes out of the shower heads covering all the campers, and everyone screams and then you're back in the present.
Julia (as Phoebe): Something wrong with the water.
Brandon (as Les): What?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Phoebe, are you okay?
Julia (as Phoebe): Totally. Yes. I think like, utilitywise. You know how like sometimes like I've read this in books. You know how sometimes like, bad storms can make the water systems bad?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): I think we should like double check that to like-
Brandon (as Les): The septic tanks.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, I'm very worried about like the septic tanks.
Brandon (as Les): I didn't know you were so into plumbing. That's cool.
Julia (as Phoebe): My uncle is a plumber.
Brandon (as Les): Really? Oh, cool.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What's, what's his name?
Julia (as Phoebe): Luigi?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh.
Eric (as AD Z): I can't stop you from following your bliss. If you want to look at the septic tanks, please go ahead. That's fine.
Julia (as Phoebe): Thank you so much.
Eric (as AD Z): Yes, just if you just figure out the req, the requisite in there and-
Brandon (as Les): Sorry, AD Z, do you have the form that they filled out?
Eric (as AD Z): Oh, yes. Yeah, absolutely.
Eric: He hands over a creased wrinkled covered in mud and also it smells like Abercrombie and Fitch perfume as well.
Brandon: Oh, I didn't think the AD Z would be into Abercrombie and Fitch perfume.
Eric: No, it's not. It's not his. It's not his.
Amanda: I'm just picturing 11-year-olds packing like Body by Abercrombie cologne for camp.
Julia: Oh, god.
Eric: Yeah. And Assistant Director Z hands the requisition form over to Carrie-Ann and says-
Eric (as AD Z): Carrie-Ann, I would also like, if you could do an assessment of the councilors of this cabin. It seems like they're not holding up the end of their duties as members of staff here and I would really like to make sure that you get a full assessment of what it seems like. I can't Undercover Boss myself because I'm 7 feet tall.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That would be hard.
Eric (as AD Z): So it would be if you could be my eyes and ears there, that would be very helpful.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann is openly weeping.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I would love nothing more. I will have this report to you by the end of the day.
Eric (as AD Z): Great. Thank you. Alright. Well, everyone, have a good day. Stay dry as much as you can. I'm going to [pause] take care of things.
Brandon (as Les): What?
Eric (as AD Z): Alright, see you later.
Julia (as Phoebe): So specific.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): God, I want to be him.
Eric: Another crack of lightning flashes as he runs into the storm.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. We just got out of a heatwave here in New York City as in many other parts of the world. And there is no a time of the year where I walk outside my door and I feel a temperature of like 78 or 80 degrees Fahrenheit, and think, lovely. Then the day after a terrible heatwave. So I did that this morning. And normally, I walk out of my house and it's 80 degrees. And I think, oh my God, not again. But this time in particular, I was like, You know what, welcome at least you're not 90. So, welcome to the mid roll. Those shorts look great on you. We are so excited to welcome our newest patron Shana. Thank you for joining the hundreds of people who pledge a little bit of money each month to support independent art that they really enjoy. We are really enjoying making all kinds of stuff, never more stuff for the patrons than we are right now. That includes Party Planning every other week, you can get the audio of that for $5 a month or the video for 10. There's ad free episodes now at $8 a month for all of the Camp Paign and all episodes going forward, and so much more. Join us today at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. Did you know that we are streaming on Twitch every week. Seriously, the Join the Party team sees way more of each other than we ever have. And it's friggin awesome because we get to let loose and have so much fun in our side quests. This is where we the Join the Party hosts and sometimes friends build side quests based on audience prompts. You get to watch as we take your suggestions to build settings, items, plot hooks, NPCs, all kinds of stuff for you to use in your side quest or even maybe a whole campaign of your own or just to spectate and enjoy the jokes. There's interactive visuals and you should join us it's so much fun. Every Thursday at 6 PM, Eastern, there are weeks and weeks worth of videos for you to enjoy. at twitch.tv/jtpsidequests. The link is also in the description of every episode. 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For me therapy is a huge part of it because I get to take some time to talk about things that I might want to ignore that make me feel a little bit weird or uncertain or nervous. And when my coping mechanism is to ignore the thing that makes me nervous. Guess what, it just makes me more and more nervous over time. So I really appreciate that I get to meet with my therapist on my own time via phone or video chat or even live chat sometimes. And it's all through BetterHelp. I also got to switch therapists a few different times until I found someone I really jive with whose name is also Amanda. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's b e t t e r h e l p.com/jointheparty and now back to the show.
[theme]
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les?
Brandon (as Les): [whispers] Carrie-Ann, Phoebe. Wait, guys.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [whispers] Oh yeah, what's up? What's up?
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Circle up, circle up.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Did you? Did you guys get a look at his teeth? Were they still sharp?
Julia (as Phoebe): Um, I didn't re-look at his teeth because I have seen his teeth.
Brandon (as Les): Are they still sharp?
Julia (as Phoebe): I mean, I think so.
Brandon (as Les): Are they different, they didn't change?
Julia (as Phoebe): It wasn't I didn't know that there was a change and it's not like the Keeper also noted that like suddenly now they weren't sharp?
Brandon (as Les): No that's good because like if they change so that would mean that out like he could he had ability to like manipulate the teeth and that would mean he's a monster.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. Is there anything in your book Les about like gods of storms or thunder? Because the fact that like lightning struck and thunder played when he came in and left makes me think that maybe you know there might be something there. There's no roof there the roof isn't it doesn't connect to the walls in this cabin. So I heard I heard your conversation. Sorry. I guess. Okay.
Julia: What was the point of going outside then?
Brandon (as Les): Okay. Hold on, hang on.
Brandon: And Les is going to open his book. And he's like, alright, we got ball lightning, we got various weather phenomena, weather.
Julia: We got Ba’al, the god of lightning.
Eric: There's ghost lightning that only happens when someone dies. There's lightning that foretells the future. There's a big storm that's put together because everyone hates you. And it's a manifestation of you-
Julia (as Phoebe): No!
Eric: -feeling like you're ostracized.
Julia: Phoebe feels real sad all of a sudden.
Julia (as Phoebe): No.
Brandon (as Les): The only thing I see is the great thunderstorm of Widecombe-in-the-Moor in Dartmoor, Kingdom of England. From 1638, have you guys heard of that one?
Julia (as Phoebe): No, I don't--
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I think it might be a little too. You know, too ancient for the director but okay, no, no good. Good looking out.
Brandon (as Les): Well, they did think it was like it was like, ball like in the church, that killed a bunch of people and like people thought it was like the devil. You know, like-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Wow.
Julia (as Phoebe): That sucks.
Brandon (as Les): Who knows? But yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Is there also, is there anything like in your book about like, slime?
Brandon (as Les): Slime?
Julia (as Phoebe): Slime.
Eric: You flipped to the end of there's like an appendix and it's slime, and it's on like 200 pages.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I mean, you might need to be a bit more specific, like, but um, I can- I can start reading.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon: So I do actually, I wanted to pull from my list of fun, spooky things that I made.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: But I do actually want to look at my book to see if I know anything about lightning phenomenon, especially in this area, or like-
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: -related to the time of day or anything like that.
Eric: Yeah, I think from what you know about weather is just like, there are thunderstorms all the time at camp, and mudding and sliding in mud is always a big deal. Like, you know, kids never get the chance to get dirty in their real lives. So they just do it. So there are thunderstorms all the time and they come and go really fast because it's summertime and that's how it do.
Brandon: What if I cross reference sharp teeth with lightning?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Now you're thinking, Les.
Eric: Interesting, interesting. Well, Frankie supposes that the entire camp used to be underwater, and these are from ancient giant water creatures that were swimming all over the field.
Brandon: I share okay, I share that page of the book with my CIT friends here.
Eric: It's like you look up ancient Megalodon and it's like “Megalodon at the field of camp?”
Julia: Question mark.
Brandon: Question mark.
Amanda: This is amazing, Carrie-Ann is writing everything down.
Brandon (as Les): Carrie-Ann, I can get you a copy of this book if you want.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That will be amazing.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I got like six in case one of them, you know, breaks or falls apart.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Whoa.
Julia (as Phoebe): Can I have, I just really like books?
Brandon (as Les): Oh hell yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Can I get a copy?
Brandon (as Les): Hell yeah, Phoebe.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Amazing.
Julia (as Phoebe): Usually, I like fiction but this feels like… not that it's fiction, Les, I'm not saying that it's fiction, but it is like supernatural?
Brandon (as Les): Before we go do this, I have two important questions for you both.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe, I feel like we're all friends. Can I, can I call you Pheebs? Pheebs?
Julia (as Phoebe): Sure.
Brandon and Amanda (as Les and Carrie-Ann): Yes!
Julia: Phoebe just like looks like-
Julia (as Phoebe): No. People used to call me that and now they don't call me that anymore. But like it's really cool that people are starting to call me that again.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I love it. I love it. But only if you like it.
Julia (as Phoebe): No, I super like it.
Brandon (as Les): Cool. Alright. And Carrie-Ann, stay with me for this one. Ready? Carrie-Ann. CA abbreviation for Canada. Can I call you Canada?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Um, I'd rather you call me Camp but I feel like in the context of where we are and work, that might be a little bit confusing.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So would Carrie-Ann be okay? Is that an okay nickname
Brandon (as Les): Fuck yeah, Carrie-Ann's great.
Eric: Carrie-Ann's an abbreviation for my name and middle name and last name?
Julia (as Phoebe): What if it was Camp Canada?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, that is part of my expansion plan for when I take over the camp, so I would rather you not like you know, give that idea away to-
Julia (as Phoebe): Right.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): -Jennii, who definitely wants my job. So yeah.
Brandon (as Les): We'll make sure that doesn't happen. But cool, Carrie-Ann it is, I love it. I love it. It says cool fucking name. Anyways, got that cool hyphen in the middle.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Look at those corners, I mean.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Throw those corners in the fucking trash is what I say.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. Thanks. Oh, here's the form, by the way. And then I like spread out the form on top of Les’s book so we can look at it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Great.
Julia: What are they requesting?
Eric: Okay, yeah, this is for the new.
Brandon: Sorry, Eric. I forgot you're here for a second.
Julia: We were just like having a conversation.
Eric: That's fine. I'm chillin. I’m not doing anything. The mysteries just advanced like it's not a big deal. This is for the New Flycatcher's cabin. So remember, Flycatchers are kids who are going into 6th grade. This is for the girls' cabin. Here's the thing about why they call the New Flycatcher's cabin is that, like the camp recently got a big donation from one set of parents for their daughter and earmarked it so that the cabin she was going into, which they were going to be a flycatcher, needs to be better. The cabin needs to be better. They didn't actually execute on this for five years and their daughter is not a camper anymore. But there's one cabin that is so nice and so big. Like noticeably bigger than all the other ones and it’s also right next to the shower house and it has the breezeway that connects the cabin to the shower house. So like you don't get wet if you're running from your cabin to the shower house. In my head, this is just what happened at summer camp is like there were toilets in your cabin, but like you showered in the shower house together, like a big building had all the showers in it. Yeah. So that's just like I that's how I imagined it at this camp as well. But the Flycatcher cabin was super big really, really nice, very new. And of course then also right next to the bathrooms, just the way the cabins are set up, it's like it's like normal cabin, normal cabin, normal cabin, giant cabin, normal cabin, normal cabin, normal cabin. And the counselors are requisitioning more beds because they said that there are-- the old beds are disappearing, and there aren't enough beds for the campers.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon (as Les): So I'm more of an outdoor kid. Am I reading this word disappearing correctly? Is that like slang for something or?
Julia (as Phoebe): No, I don't think disappearing is-- I think disappearing is probably pretty literal in the sense.
Brandon (as Les): I smell something wrong.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I think so.
Julia (as Phoebe): I smell something funky. And I am also really concerned about the showers because they are so close to this cabin and if something bad happens, that's the nicest cabin. I think I'm gonna like go and try to check out the like water treatment facility here in camp and then I'll meet you guys over at that cabin?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, whatever you want. I suspect something that isn't just furniture walking itself out in the middle of the night is happening. And hopefully no campers are being scapegoated and bullied for it this time.
Julia (as Phoebe): Not this time. Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): We'll see.
Brandon (as Les): So right now I think we have two options right? We have one, someone is perpetuating an underground black market cabin-
Julia (as Phoebe): For beds.
Brandon (as Les): Bed selling ring or two, monster eat beds.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Now listen guys, I know, I know I'm intense about camp, okay?
Brandon (as Les): No!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Listen, I know, I know.
Brandon (as Les): No, Carrie-Ann. No!
Julia (as Phoebe): You’re just the right amount of intense about it.
Brandon (as Les): There's not a-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Thank you, both. You're very nice friends/best friends.
Brandon (as Les): Passion. Love it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Best Friends Forever. I would be the first person in line to buy a vintage camp bed for me to sleep at camp when I am not in fact I'd camp the nine months of the year I'm not allowed to be at camp. I think I might know if that was happening. So excellent thought, I think it might be the other option, unfortunately.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Are these beds edible? We don't even know, what are they made out of? Maybe it's made out of skin and bones?
Julia (as Phoebe): Metal?
Brandon (as Les): Metal.
Julia: Can I look at my bed and see if it's wood or metal?
Eric: They're wood. They're made out of wood.
Julia: Okay, they're wood great.
Julia (as Phoebe): So probably wood, right.
Brandon (as Les): Probably wood.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann like whispers the serial number from the Sears catalog to herself.
Brandon (as Les): I'm so sorry. I'm a little scatterbrained, seeing the monsters have really like messed with my reality. I don't know. Anything could be anything.
Julia (as Phoebe): Anything can be anything. Yeah.
Eric (as Dougie): Guys, I'm trying to sleep. I swear to God. PLEASE!
Julia: Who is that?
Eric (as Dougie): It’s Dougie, come on!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, okay. Okay.
Eric (as Dougie): Get out of here!
Julia (as Phoebe): Dougie, it's the middle of the day. We're allowed to talk in our cabin.
Eric (as Dougie): I grew so much, I need to sleep, I need to fix my joints!
Brandon (as Dougie): I need my 30 hours!
Brandon (as Les): Dougie, that's too many hours.
Eric (as Dougie): I need 12 hours plus 2 more hours a day.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Sorry, Dougie.
Julia (as Phoebe): Are you okay?
Eric (as Dougie): NO! It hurts all the time!
Julia (as Phoebe): Are you sick? Should we take you to the nurse?
Eric (as Dougie): My joints hurt all the time extra 'cause it's raining!
Julia (as Phoebe): Do you want some Aspirin or?
Eric (as Dougie): Shut up!
Julia: Alright, we leave then, I guess.
Brandon (as Les): Pheebs, you sure you're gonna be okay by yourself on the, on this, sanitation mission?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, I mean, nothing bad has happened to me when I was by myself at camp before so it's probably all fine.
Brandon (as Les): Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): Famously, nothing bad has happened to me while I was by myself at camp.
Eric: Pillows are being thrown at you from the other side of the aisle.
Brandon: Oh, I'm saying this-
Julia: So quietly.
Brandon: -as we're walking out. Yeah.
Eric: From 2000 feet away. You're getting hit by pillows. Yeah, wonderful. We want to split up?
Brandon: I think Carrie-Ann and I want to go to the New Flycatcher cabin.
Amanda: I'd be happy doing both parts together, we can stop by the treatment on our way.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Sure.
Eric: Yeah. Let's see the cabin first. Because the septic tanks are actually pretty far away from the rest of camp. It's like you have to go all the way up the hill and that's where the tennis courts are. And then you have to go up a- you have to cross the tennis courts and go up another hill and it's raining. So you have to go all the way up to the top of the hill. That's like all the way in the back behind the girls cabins.
Julia (as Phoebe): We can like totally slide back down though when we're done, which is kind of fun.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, shit. Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I love that. We can grab lunch trays. That'd be awesome.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, Carrie-Ann!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, cool. Let's wrap up this furniture thing quick and then we can go do that.
Brandon (as Les): Yes.
Julia (as Phoebe): I love this.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Best friends.
[Everyone repeats Best Friends]
Eric: Alright, everyone goes to the cabin. You know, there's nobody out as the rain is starting to come down harder, except for the various campers that are running around and sliding around in the mud on the field. And they're like-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Watch out for teeth!
Eric (as Camper): I feel so free!
Eric: And just like sliding face first across the field.
Brandon (as Les): Eh, not face first, not face first. Feet first.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Feet first.
Eric (as Camper): Screw you, I'm muddy. You can't catch meeeeee!
Julia (as Phoebe): Excuse me?
Julia: Accidental Jinx on that kid.
Eric: You watch a nine-year-old just fucking eat it.
Brandon (as Les): That's why we said feet first.
Julia (as Phoebe): We said feet first.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Maybe the teeth come from the people that go feet first and lose teeth.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, that's true.
Eric: Damn. Damn. Damn. You head over to the Flycatcher cabin. And inside you see that there are 10 girls in the cabin are kind of all just sitting in the middle of the cabin. And they're playing high-stakes poker with massive amounts of candy. I don't know where they got all this candy. You see one girl pushed like five Hershey bars to the middle and say-
Julia (as Phoebe): Whoa!
Brandon: Full sized?
Amanda: Full-sized?
Eric: Full-sized.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Damn!
Eric: And she said she says-
Eric (as Rich Flycatcher Girl): I call.
Eric: A bunch of girls throw down their cards. They go-
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Too rich for my blood. No.
Eric (as Brenda): I'm not gonna be able to compete with that.
Amanda: Phoebe like, hold her hands to cover everything that's happening in the middle of the room.
Julia: Just like covers Carrie-Ann's eyes.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): No, it's okay. It's not, it's not cash. So it's probably fine?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I didn't see a thing.
Julia (as Phoebe): I don't know.
Eric: Yeah, how do you want to enter? What do you want to do?
Brandon: Well, I think Les would go behind his two compatriots here and like timidly knock to make sure because you know, he's-
Eric: Oh, for sure. Yeah.
Brandon: It's a girls' cabin. He wants to make sure that he is not intruding.
Julia (as Phoebe): Everyone's decent Les, like I mean they are playing poker so like no one's--
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): La la la la la. Oh hey, hey girls um we're here about the bed, the furniture stuff. Can someone-- want to be brave and and stand up and raise your hand and tell us what's been going on?
Eric: They all look up at the three of you and they kind of like all dropped their cards at the same time. And someone like falls backwards and tries to cover all the candy that's on the ground.
Julia (as Phoebe): No one's in trouble.
Brandon (as Les): We're not here for the candy.
Julia (as Phoebe): Everything's okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I don't see-
Eric: They all have their hands up.
Julia (as Phoebe): Are you all volunteering to like give us information about what's going on with the bed situation in here? If so… you.
Julia: And then Phoebe just like points to one of them.
Eric: Yeah, none of them say anything and you as you point to one of the girls they say-
Eric (as Flycatcher girl): I… there's no bed situation. I don't know, I don't know what you mean.
Julia (as Phoebe): You know what would be like really helpful, truly helpful? Especially if we like walked into a situation where people were gambling with candy, which is not what's happening here.
Brandon (as Les): Cambling
Julia (as Phoebe): Nice one. You know what would be like really helpful for us to like kind of like definitely not see that thing that was happening is if you were like you know to be very forthcoming with information about the requisition that we were sent to ask about.
Eric: Pheebs, let's manipulate someone here.
Julia: Great, that's Charm, right?
Eric: Yes, it is.
Julia: Oh, boy. -1, let's go. I got a 6.
Eric: A six?
Amanda: Let me help you.
Julia: Okay, thank you.
Amanda: Alright, I got a 10 to help so you get a +2, Julia.
Julia: That's an 8.
Eric: That's an 8. Okay. Wonderful.
Julia: It's a mixed success, right?
Eric: Yeah. Mixed success.
Amanda: And in order to help I just I back you up and I'm like-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yup, just like the Mississippi rule where you drop something that you can eat it before five Mississippi's? If I don't if I'm at around the presence of rule-breaking for more than five minutes. I don't have to say anything about it.
Brandon: For a second. I thought you meant you were making up the state of Mississippi like the rule, the Mississippi rule is you can still gamble candy if as long as it's fresh or something.
Amanda: Yes, exactly. Yes. South of a certain latitude.
Eric: I think that all of the girls kind of look at each other surreptitiously like-
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Okay, one moment.
Eric: And they all give it a big huddle. And they
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): [whispering] Go okay, fine. No, no, it's fine. Okay. Yes, I'm going to ask her that.
Eric (as Brenda): I think we should do this.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Yeah, Brenda, [whispering]. Okay.
Eric: And they all like turn back around. They all stand up at the same time. And one of the girls steps forward and says-
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Okay, we'll tell you what's happening with the cabin as long as we get to ask Les a bunch of questions.
Julia: Phoebe looks at Les being like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Is that okay?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I guess I mean, I'm kind of an open book. What do you want to know? You want to learn like, knots?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): One, Les, how tall are you?
Julia (as Phoebe): It changes every year, right? Because I'm like, I'm- I'm consistently growing. So like-
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Ha-ha-ha! You're so funny!
Julia: Phoebe's like-
Julia (as Phoebe): What is happening?
Brandon (as Les): I don't know.
Julia (as Phoebe): What is going on?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Do they have a crush on him?
Brandon (as Les): 6'1 right now usually? Depends on the day, of course.
Eric: One girl gives another girl a Snickers bar.
Julia (as Phoebe): Damn it, guys.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Two, do you think-
Brandon (as Les): Do you want to learn how to tie some knots? I can teach you how to do that. Or like, like stake a tent.
Eric (as Brenda): I wanna learn how to tie some knots!
Eric: As three girls just barrel forward.
Brandon (as Les): Okay.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Hey, girls, girls, hold on, hold on. Two, do you think you're the cutest CIT?
Brandon (as Les): Uh...
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, people, we don't ask people about-
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): A deal is a deal!
Brandon (as Les): I personally believe that attraction is a form-- a function of the individual tastes of the person and also the inherent good qualities that the other person might possess.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Ha-ha-ha same. Three, what's your favorite sport to play?
Brandon (as Les): Climbing.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Cool, and four. Do you want any candy?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, you guys got any Take Fives?
Eric: A Take Five hits you in the face. One of the girls threw it so hard immediately, it was in her hand.
Brandon (as Les): Ow. Thank you.
Julia (as Phoebe): Can we also have a piece of candy?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): No.
Brandon (as Les): I'll split it with you all then. Who sent me the Take Five? Thank you? Who?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): It was it was me. It was great. Okay.
Brandon (as Les): What's your name?
[mumbles]
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Um…Jennifer.
Brandon (as Les): Thanks, Jennifer. I appreciate it.
Amanda: Jennifer's face turns as red as a tomato. Guys, why haven't we made Eric play 11-year-old girls before?
Brandon: I don't know.
Julia: It's the right decision.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Okay, so here's what happened. Is that um… Thank you, Les for answering our questions. We'll have more questions here and we want you-- We're going to tell our counselors that you're going to bring us some grilled cheeses late at night as a special treat.
Julia (as Phoebe): Excuse me?
Brandon (as Les): Grilled cheese? Grilled waffle cheeses.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Waffle. Yes, these, when it's all waffles, is just kind of, we just dropped the waffle part. It's a waffle.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Drop the waffle, get in the car. Sorry, that’s just for me.
Brandon (as Les): But it's very important to have y'all had a maple grilled cheese. It's extremely good.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Okay, we’ll definitely all try it, thank you, Les. Okay, um, so yeah, we've been losing a few of our beds and they're gone.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Like how-- physically how does that happen? Like do you go to bed in it and then you wake up on the floor?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Well, you know sometimes we like fall asleep in each other's beds at the same time.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Sure.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): And then like we and then we go back to our other beds and we're like oh the beds are gone, I guess then like Jennifer and Ryan are sleeping together now for the considerable future.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): And are like the mattresses and the sheets and stuff still here? Like is it just the furniture or does everything go?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Yeah, everything's gone. I don't know. I don't know where it goes. We told our counselors about it, but like they're off kissing their boyfriends and girlfriends so like they said, you know, we haven't seen them in like three days.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, where do they go to kiss?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): They, we don't-- they don't share their kissing spots with us but if you know where the kissing spot- Les, do you know where the kissing spots are?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Les, don't answer that.
Julia: Phoebe looks at Les.
Julia (as Phoebe): Do you?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Do you, do you get any clues when they come? So wait, they haven't been back in three days? Is that-is that true?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Yeah, we haven't seen them in three days.
Julia (as Phoebe): That is very bad.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): Why didn't you tell anyone sooner?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Because they told us that like some-- you know sometimes they're just gone kissing their boyfriend and girlfriend.
Julia (as Phoebe): For three days?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Well, they were gone for like two days before then they came back and gave us a pizza party and it was fine.
Julia (as Phoebe): What? That seems bad.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What are their names?
Eric: Oh, no, no, I have to come up with names for these counselors.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): It's Lana and Lanna with two n's.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Cool.
Julia (as Phoebe): And the Lana's aren't like out kissing each other?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): They might-- I don't-- they don't share that information.
Julia (as Phoebe): Well, you said that they were kissing their boyfriends and girlfriends and I'm just, I don't-- you know what? I shouldn't be curious about what the Lanas get up to.
Brandon (as Les): Hey-
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): That's true.
Brandon (as Les): -hey, Pheebs, it's cool to be curious, you can, it's fine.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): I'll remember that, Les, thank you.
Brandon (as Les): Hey, Jennifer. Thanks
Eric (as Jennifer): Cool Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Nice cool.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): So yeah, we've been missing other things, but like you know it's kind of fun like, you know-
Julia (as Phoebe): Another thing hold on, let's backtrack, what other things?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Oh like I don't know where some of my clothes are and we're missing like, we're missing our broom. And like the back door is gone. And all that stuff.
Brandon (as Les): The back door is gone?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Yeah, is that bad?
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah!
Brandon (as Les): There’s bears.
Eric (as One-Foot Flycatcher Girl): Also my foot is gone.
Eric: And one of them who-- and one of them you see has just like shows you just like a cauterized stump of their foot.
Brandon (as Les): What?!
Julia (as Phoebe): What? Is that like recent? Do you usually have a prosthesis, what's happening here?
Eric (as One-Foot Flycatcher Girl): No, I don't. Is this bad? Should I go to the nurse?
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, my god! Yes!
Brandon (as Les): Okay, we're gonna go to the nurse right now, I think.
Eric (as One-Foot Flycatcher Girl): Les, do you want to see it? You can see where my-- you could see my bone. Is it that cool? Do you like that?
Brandon (as Les): No.
Julia (as Phoebe): Two of you escort Macy to the nurse because this is extremely bad and probably hospital worthy I think at this point?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, cool.
Eric (as One-Foot Flycatcher Girl): No, then I’m gonna miss the mud-sliding!
Brandon (as Les): You know what’s cool? Safety. Safety and health.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Eric (as One-Foot Flycatcher Girl): Okay, fine. I'll go to the nurse. Ughhh...
Julia: Phoebe's just like standing here like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Is this what a panic attack is? Because I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Oh, also unrelated. Is this secret door that we found bad?
Julia (as Phoebe): What?! YES.
Eric: As they move the candy aside, and there's just like a trap door, like a basement trap door in the middle of the cabin that they were playing cards on.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, the three of you go to the nurse. The rest of you go mudding or whatever [cheering Flycatcher girls] We’re gonna deal with the secret door, I guess?
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, what Phoebe said.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, if I'm, if your counselors aren't backed by bedtime then go bunk with the younger girls, okay?
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Okay, bye.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): You can feed them candy and stay up too late.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): Okay, bye Les!
Eric: As all the campers run out and they all throw off their shirts and they're wearing their bathing suits underneath, fully prepared to go mudding. Even the girls who are helping Macy run out being like-
Eric (as Flycatcher Girls): We're mudding first, then the nurse.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): No!
Brandon (as Les): No.
Eric (as One-foot Macy): My bone’s exposed!
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm having way too many emotions right now and I don't know. Okay, trap door, I guess?
Brandon (as Les): Hey, Pheebs, Take Five.
Brandon: And then I give Phoebe my Take Five.
Eric (as Flycatcher Girl): You're so funny, Les.
Brandon (as Les): I'm just kidding, you can process your emotions however you want to process your emotions, it's fine.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Julia: I think Phoebe like just grabs the Snickers and starts crying.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So, this seems worse than we thought.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah. Okay, what do we know? We know. Take, beds gone, clothings gone.
Julia (as Phoebe): Foot gone!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Brandon (as Les): Foot gone.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Wood, wood things, it seems.
Julia (as Phoebe): Also clothes.
Eric: The back door is fully gone.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So like natural materials. Wood cloth bone.
Eric: Meat.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, that sounds bad.
Brandon (as Les): But not candy.
Julia (as Phoebe): Not candy.
Eric: Here's also a good point is that when you look at the other beds, the beds are nicer, the beds are metal here. They're new. They're new beds. They're not the old beds that you guys have in your cabin.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Like some Williams Sonoma-ass metal bunk beds.
Julia (as Phoebe): So metal and wood and flesh and bone and clothing.
Amanda: Can I investigate a mystery, is now a good time to do that?
Eric: Yeah. Someone can investigative a mystery. I think it's on.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Okay, I got a 9 + 1 for a 10.
Eric: Let's go, baby. To give, ask me 2 of these investigative mystery questions.
Amanda: Alright, Team Best Friends. What do we think we should ask here?
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: I think what sort of creature is it? is good.
Brandon: Yeah. Where did it go? Maybe? Or what’s it gonna do?
Amanda: Where to go, what kind of creature is it?
Julia: Yes. I think that and also what can it do? would be useful.
Amanda: I think knowing what the creature is won't necessarily help us on its own.
Brandon: Sure.
Amanda: So let's say, where did it go and what can it do?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Where did it go? Okay. Y'all pop open the trapdoor and you stick your head down. Use whatever the various flashlights I know you all have.
Brandon: Got a headlamp.
Eric: Oh, yeah. Les, Les reaches down with this headlamp. And you look down in there is like, the reason this cabin is so big is that there seems to be a whole other level down there, that is like dark and dank. And you look in with the casting the light of the headlamp, you see that there's like-- I don't know what to say other than it looks like there's a full like, American Ninja Warrior gym down there. Like there's a full gymnasium down there with various rooms and hallways and areas that you could poke around and it seems like there's an archery course there. There's like a gymnastic set. There is an old pool that has water in there you can still see. It is so big down there in the trapdoor.
Brandon: I'm gonna yell out-
Brandon (as Les): Hello.
[Amanda echoes]
Brandon: Thank you, Amanda. You knew what I was gonna say already.
Eric: What do you do here back is--
Eric (as Mystery Creature): [from afar] Ribbit ribbit.
Brandon (as Les): Nope.
Brandon: And I pop out of the thing.
Eric: What can it do? You poke around the cabin without girls in there. And you see that this place is super clean. Carrie-Ann and Phoebe you know, although boys cabins get nasty because they do not clean up after themselves, girls cabins, they like throw trash in places and they just like they it's like they're actively trying to make it disgusting. Like boys do it passively. But it seems like girls' cabins are actively disgusting. This place is so clean. There is no dust, there is no grime. You look in the bathrooms. The bathrooms are immaculate and they even said that their broom and their dustpan were gone. So that's also something, but you also see there are parts of the cabin are also destroyed and gone as well. Like you look at one of the toilets and like there should be a pipe that connects this to the rest of the water. It's just not there's no water and that toilet. Yeah, you look at the back door and fully there's just like a full piece of the cabin that's taken out. I think in terms of what it can do, is that it seems like this monster has destroyed and cleaned up a lot of stuff.
Brandon (as Les): Well, best friends. I think we solved this mystery. Let's go!
Julia (as Phoebe): What?
Brandon (as Les): What?
Julia (as Phoebe): There was a thing that ribbit-ed?
Brandon (as Les): No, was there?
Julia: I want to read a bad situation about the thing that ribbited down in the Ninja Warrior thing.
Eric: You gotta get closer, that's the best I can give you.
Julia: Well, I'm gonna stick my head in then.
Eric: You gotta get down there. There's a-
Julia: Is there like a ladder?
Eric: Yeah, it seems like this is the side of the complex here and there's like the ladder that's welded into the side there of just like the little monkey bars.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So you can head down there if you'd like.
Julia: I'm gonna do that.
Brandon (as Les): Oh, Phoebe, what are you doing? Don't do that.
Julia (as Phoebe): I- complex emotions.
Julia: And then Phoebe just like goes down.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): We got to know.
Amanda: And Carrie-Ann will follow.
Brandon (as Les): God dammit. Yeah, I'll follow.
Eric: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, all you, all three of you want to go down there?
Brandon: I mean want is a strong word.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, I think you, yeah you head down into the bottom secret gymnasium basement here. As you head down there, it is still immaculately clean down here you're looking for dust everywhere, there's none there. Also you look in the pool, pool seems fine. There's no like algae or nasty stuff or even like a stick in the pool down there. But yeah, those are like the three main wings and there's a lot there's some other stuff kind of just thrown out there. Is there something you want to investigate? There's like an archery course, a pool and like a gymnastics Ninja Warrior, kind of like obstacle course.
Julia: Okay, I do want to investigate the archery course. But there's also a secondary thing that I want to do, which is, when you were describing the cabin, you were saying that it had like a breezeway pass to where the showers are?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Does the footprint of this extend over to where the showers are?
Brandon: Good question.
Eric: Yes, it extends underneath.
Julia: Okay, I'm going to hit up the artery course real quick.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Because I want to look and see if there are arrows and stuff like that there, quiver and bow perhaps.
Eric: Yeah, you head over to the archery. Yeah, on like a little stand, there's a few different bows, and just fully tipped, ready to go arrows.
Julia: Tight. I'm gonna grab some of those.
Eric: Sure. Julia, you, you have a new weapon.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: You now have a bow and arrow. It is one harm, reload, far.
Julia: Great. I think Phoebe is like-
Julia (as Phoebe): I read a book recently that was like about a romance, about a girl who like does archery and is like really good at it. And then also she's like surviving the apocalypse.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Cool.
Brandon (as Les): Sounds like a good book.
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): Phoebe. Show them what you can do. Demonstrate your power on the top of the animal food.
Julia (as Phoebe): Hi.
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): Use your skills. Amuse your friends. Have them fear you and your abilities.
Julia (as Phoebe): Hi again. Sup?
Brandon (as Les): What? Who are you talking to?
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, I had- a I had the answer to your question before.
Brandon: Can we hear this voice?
Julia (as Phoebe): 'Cause it wasn't bears wasn't-
Julia: And Phoebe just keeps going.
Julia (as Phoebe): It wasn't a bear. It wasn't wolves. Les said moose?
Brandon (as Les): I did say, moose. Are you-- who you're talking to?
Amanda: Carrie-Ann like inches close to Les and it's just like-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Let her have this moment.
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): It's unfortunate you were not able to figure this out for yourself.
Julia (as Phoebe): So, it's not moose?
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): I didn't say that.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay. But it, so it is moose?
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): Phoebe do call a cool shot and amuse your friends, please.
Julia (as Phoebe): Alright, cool.
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): Demonstrate your power over them.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, heck yeah.
Eric (as Mysterious Voice): Make your friends kneel in front of your power, please. Phoebe, come on.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Julia: And then Phoebe just like, takes the bow and arrow and shoots it at the target.
Brandon (as Les): Ah!
Eric: Give me a Weird roll.
Julia: Cool. [dice roll] That is a 10.
Eric: Oh, you rolled a 10?
Julia: I rolled a 10.
Eric: Oh, hot damn. Alright, Pheebs. What does it look like when you shoot a bow and arrow? I think this is like-- it's fully an archery course. Like there's a place for you to stand on one side and there's like a bunch of different bull's eyes like in a row there. So what does it look like when you do this?
Julia: I think that it takes Phoebe like a couple of tries to like nock the arrow and pulling it back her arm is a little bit like wibbly wobbly because it takes a lot of upper body strength to shoot a bow and arrow. But then when it lets off, the arrow catches the same like ice blue electric energy that Phoebe's magic has been manifesting as, and fires directly into the target.
Eric: Yeah, I hit it right as a bull's eye, and somehow it hits the bullseye to the right and to the left of the target you are shooting at.
Julia (as Phoebe): That's cool as hell.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That's amazing.
Julia (as Phoebe): I must be really good at archery. I've read, I read so much about it that I must have just gotten really good at it. Like, like you know how like they say if you'd like put a book underneath your head before a test you like osmosis the information? That's what it must have been like.
Brandon: Les flips up in his book rapidly and says-
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe, are you a monster-- what?
Brandon: And he starts like flipping to blue.
Julia (as Phoebe): No, no, I just read a lot of books.
Brandon (as Les): What, and that gives you blue light power?
Julia (as Phoebe): Uh….
Eric (as Mystery Voice): Tell them, tell him yes, tell him it makes you powerful.
Julia (as Phoebe): Books make you powerful.
Eric (as Mystery Voice): No, damn it Phoebe.
Brandon (as Les): Yeah, I know that but like not in a literal sense.
Eric (as Mystery Voice): Phoebe, come on. Phoebe. Come on.
Julia (as Phoebe): What?
Brandon (as Les): I'm asking you a question, why are you saying what?
Julia (as Phoebe): I- because someone's telling me to come on and that's weird, right?
Brandon (as Les): WHO?
Julia (as Phoebe): I don't know. A moose, I think.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Does anyone have a crush on me? Because with all that’s happened the last five minutes I've just like-- I feel really good kind of left out here and it just, it's distracting me.
Julia (as Phoebe): Did you ask us if anyone has a crush on you?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm sure-- you know Dougie Fresh kind of like gives you the eyes sometimes.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh.
Eric: You cut back to Dougie Fresh and he just looks so angry.
Eric (as Dougie): Ugh! I just want to go to asleep.
Julia (as Phoebe): We're not anywhere near him.
Eric: It's a Family Guy cut away to Dougie Fresh-
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: -and then come back. Once again, you hear echoing through the gymnasium, you hear-
Eric (as Mystery Creature): Ribbit. Ribbit.
Brandon (as Les): Ah! Son of a Bitch!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay, we're coming after that. Who are you?
Eric (as Mystery Creature): Well, well, well
Julia (as Phoebe): Excuse me?
Eric: And you see, you see that a hole kind of just like stretches open in the side of the gymnasium, and out steps out like a two foot frog.
Eric (as Mystery Frog): Ribbit, ribbit. Well, well. It seems that you have discovered the wonderful world of the secret gymnasium underneath the cabin. My name is Frederick the Frog. And did you know that one gram of toxin produced by the skin of the golden poison dart frog could kill 100,000 people?
Julia (as Phoebe): I did actually know that, I read a book and I did it. I did a thing in sixth grade about poison dart frogs.
Brandon (as Les): Phoebe when you read that book did you also become poisonous? I'm very confused.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. Because from just the trend that seems like what would have happened, maybe.
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): Here's another fun fact, a frog completely sheds its skin about once a week. After it pulls off the old dead skin, the frog usually eats it. Did you know that?
Brandon (as Les): Why are you talking? What are you?
Julia (as Phoebe): Sir?
Julia: Phoebe raises her hand again.
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): Yes. Ribbit.
Julia (as Phoebe): What? This is a really interesting book report on poison dart frogs that you're giving us this moment. Uh….Have you been eating stuff in here besides your skin?
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): No, I haven't. But I know who has and it's a good thing the Chosen One came down here to save me.
Brandon: Les faints.
Julia: Phoebe's like-
Julia (as Phoebe): What? One more time, please. The words that you just said. Can you say those one more time?
Eric (as Frederick the Frog): Chosen One, save me!
Julia (as Phoebe): Uhhh...
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Do you have a crush on me?
Julia: That frog better have a crush on Carrie-Ann, that's all I got to say.
Eric: If Frederick the Frog doesn't have a crush Carrie-Ann, I'm gonna be pissed
[Theme Music]