Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Epilogue: If you have a question about any of these rules, talk to the head of your department. Only under grave and unusual circumstances should these questions be escalated to the Assistant Director or Director. They’re busy doing camp stuff.
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, GM: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Les Proenneke), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Carrie-Ann Price), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Phoebe Cooper), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into the Camp-Paign, our Monster of the Week story set in a weird and wild summer camp, or marathon our D&D games with Campaign 2 for a modern, sci-fi superhero game and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Phoebe and Carrie-Ann recover in the nurse's office from their terrible gelatinous ooze burns. The Moose in the Woods tells Phoebe to demonstrate her ultimate terrible nature power, which she does by healing Carrie-Ann with some incredibly gnarly magic healing, that leaves a tattoo of Phoebe's hand and Carrie-Ann's shoulder which only continues to freak Les out more about Phoebe's terrible magics. As Phoebe recovers, Carrie-Ann and Les decide that they need to get some more information about the adults and set up a plan to spy on the director and Assistant Director Z. It's a stakeout, people! Time to get sneaky. Shh! [whispers] Be quiet. Steak out. Let's get the party started.
[theme]
Julia: I feel like Decommissioned Willie like saw too much and they like MIB mind-wiped him.
Amanda: Gravity Falls McGucketed him.
Eric (as D. Willie): I forgot what I did this morning. Oh, yuck.
Eric: Alright. So the Raven called thrice at 9 PM What's the plan here? What are we trying to do?
Amanda: Phoebe, do you think you woke up in between? You know, like, 7-ish and 9-ish or are you off for the night?
Julia: I don't know. Eric, what do you think? Would I have woken up in that time or you think I'm conked out?
Eric: I want to say probably not. That's what I think is the causation from this is I think you're out.
Julia: Okay, that's fine.
Amanda: Okay, cool.
Eric: Phoebe, you were just still fully asleep after extenuating yourself. And you're just having a dream where you and you and Jane are holding hands. And both of you are two inches taller.
Julia: Hold on, there's a loud car going by.
Brandon: And then there's a loud car going by in your dream.
Amanda: I had a dream that I had to hold a celebrity cat during a trial involving the Cats' intellectual property the other night.
Julia: Wow. That's cool.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: That's real cool.
Eric: Dreaming the good dream.
Amanda: It was good.
Eric: It was really cool.
Brandon: Amanda, what the fuck?
Amanda: Great question.
Julia: I think Phoebe in her dream is like-
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm so tall already. But also, this just feels right.
Eric (as Jane): Phoebe, I think we're a power couple now and I'll stand up for you all the time. Even when I think you're wrong. I'll talk about it to you later, but I won't say it publicly.
Julia (as Phoebe): Wow.
Eric (as Jane): I love that you know how to read.
Julia (as Phoebe): No one's ever said that to me before.
Julia: You know, Phoebe's next time she sees Jane is going to forget that that was a dream and-
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Julia: -not reality.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm glad you like that I can read.
Brandon (as Jane): I bought you a book, can read it to you?
Julia (as Phoebe): I know you like that.
Eric (as Jane): Hey, Phoebe. I don't mean to be rude. But what?
Eric: Alright, so yeah, y'all do y'all in the woods?
Amanda: Yeah, as soon as there's like lights out and kind of locked up for the night in the infirmary. Karianne is gonna sneak out the window, and try to break into the administrative headquarters of camp to try to get into the filing cabinet or any kind of records that the director has in her office.
Eric: Cool, cool, cool. And then Les, what are you up to?
Brandon: Well, first things first, can I look in my Book of the Damned and see what the closest sort of like I imagined like there's like a WebMD sort of like plugin, plugin attributes here. And-
Amanda: You'll get a big graph in the back-
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: -of the book like a logic puzzle.
Eric: Appendix D.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Just has various index in there.
Brandon: Symptom lookup.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: So like, I assume, at some time, if I'm wrong, it's some sort of like, the book would tell me it's some sort of like werewolf-fy wolfman thing, or what is that?
Eric: Yeah, yeah. So here's the thing about Assistant Director Z. And I'm mostly gonna say this fictionally you remember that series? The Bailey school kids that was like vampires don't drink pink lemonade?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And like, it was pretty obvious that the monster or the monsters they were talking about because it was a children's book, right? It was like Frankenstein doesn't like he's not lactose intolerant. And then there's literally like, an eight-foot tall guy with bolts on his neck, like with green skin.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: The thing about ADZ is that you could pin a few different things on him, right?
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: The incisors as we've said before, that could be wolfman stuff, and they could also be vampire stuff. There's also general like monstrous things you could apply to him as well. But like, could he also just be like 6'6" and super jacked and hairy? Maybe. He's also like a super good swimmer. I also am imagining like just a full montage of a few different things that you've seen him do. Like you've seen him swim the entire length of the waterhole in like 10 seconds. You've seen him climb, it would be like, Oh, it seems that there are the extra basketballs are at the top of the gym. And there's like a storage thing. So you've seen him like literally climb on the outside of some storage stuff, and just grab it and then come down. I don't know, there's a few different he could be from the creature of the Black Lagoon, where he could be wolfman. He could be vampiric, there's a few different things here. So I don't think you can pin one exactly on ADZ.
Brandon: Yeah, that's fine. I think I would take all of those ideas and see if there's anything in common between them. I'm looking for something that I can use as bait, or at least something I can use to know his movements, or his like proposed movements. Like, would he go find a snack of milkweed or something? You know what I mean?
Amanda: Like when he's off shift? What is his routine?
Brandon: Yeah, exactly. So I can set up my tracking early start tracking him.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And if nothing is there, if I can't get anything from the book, I will at least start by going to his cabin area hiding, figure out if he has left or not by waiting. Do I look in the window, see if he's like, you know, the lights are on or whatever it is. If he's left, then I can just start looking for footprints and like, moved bushes and you know, like actual tracking stuff.
Eric: Cool. Cool. Okay. Yeah, I would say from the book, because you don't have a real good bead on what kind of monster you think ADZ is. You can't get like milkweed or dogwood or wolfsbane. Like you can't use that. You get what you can say from the few things that I said vampiric wolfman stuff or courage from blood and goon is that they do congregate in groups and create families and they do have intimate relationships with those-
Brandon: Disgusting.
Eric: They have intimate relationships with, like in with the communities that they create. But I do think that if you want to hide you can do that. For sure.
Brandon: Yeah, I think I would hide outside of his cabin. See if, I look for signs of life. And then if I don't say anything within, you know, 10/20 minutes, then I'm gonna start actually like actively tracking.
Eric: Cool. Cool. So yeah, you're gonna be up in the bush?
Brandon: Up in that bush.
Eric: Cool. So you're doing this separately? Yeah.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Okay. Carrie-Ann. You need to sneak out of the building first.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay. I'm gonna need all enact under pressure for that.
Brandon: Just so Julia don't get bored, can you just every now and again, just give us a dream sequence that you're having?
Julia: Okay, cool.
Amanda: I got a 7 for act under pressure.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: So the key for us to give me a worse outcome hard choice or price to pay.
Eric: Okay. You're trying to sneak out of the nurse's office and you, you do not, yeah, you're allowed. You are allowed getting out of that. How are you allowed as you try to sneak out you're intentionally not using the front door. What did you do?
Amanda: Yeah, yeah. No. The windows have been painted shut because they're screened. It's like a screens convalescence porch. And so I try to I like crank or slide up the window pane. And then I go to like shift up the screen. And I'm like-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): [sounds of effort] Huhh, Uh! Uh!
Amanda: And then what I end up succeeding and doing is just like fully pushing the screen out of its frame. It doesn't find it is just nailed it's just there.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: And so I punch a hole essentially through the screen by accident.
Eric: Cool. Great. Alright. Wonderful. That's good to know. Wonderful. Yeah, Phoebe, you wake up. Phoebe, you just straight up wake up.
Julia (as Phoebe): Huh?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): We're gonna say that a bird did it but a bird didn't do it, it was me.
Julia (as Phoebe): It was a raccoon.
Brandon: You wake up with Carrie-Ann like literally here in your face.
Julia (as Phoebe): Carrie-Ann, that was the biggest raccoon I've ever seen and it broke in and then it ran around for a little bit.
Julia: Phoebe like throws like a water glass down.
Julia (as Phoebe): And it knocked over my water and then I don't then I went back to sleep after it left.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Phoebe, you're so smart.
Amanda: I like kiss my index finger push it on her forehead.
Eric: Incredible. Carrie-Ann, your, yeah, you could get out that way. Phoebe as you turn back you see there is there is another water glass on your side table with a cup with two Advil in it and a note that says, "You're fine. Go home tomorrow. from Nurse Whippet.
Julia: Phoebe just goes-
Julia (as Phoebe): How do you do that?
Eric: And then there's another note below that says, "Go back to your cabin."
Julia (as Phoebe): Right now?
Julia: And Phoebe like covers her eyes and then looks again.
Eric: And then there's another note that says, "No. Tomorrow. Go to sleep."
Julia (as Phoebe): Can you tell me how you do this?
Julia: Covers eyes again.
Eric: You look there's a mirror in the room and there's like a blood painted on it that says, "No.".
Julia: Phoebe goes-
Julia (as Phoebe): Terrifying, but I get it.
Eric: Okay, wonderful so that you two are both in the woods. I'm gonna give you a -1 to your roll Carrie-Ann here.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: Les, are you using your tracking gear yet? Or you're just trying to be sneaky?
Brandon: Right now, like, I would be just sort of being sneaky, trying to like peek into the window without being seen.
Eric: Okay, both of you give me act under pressures then.
[dice roll]
Brandon: And I assume that I cannot use my just another day. Because is this due to a monster phenomenon or mystical effect? Would you say?
Eric: No.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Because that's like when the things are done to you, but you're trying to do to it?
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.
Eric: Yeah. So both of you give me an actor under pressure.
Brandon: Okay, so I have a -1 to cool. [dice roll] Oh, fuck yeah! Eric, I think I'm too good at your game.
Amanda: What did you get?
Brandon: I think it is an easy game for babies.
Eric: I also want to say I didn't invent this as evil hat. I'm also, if you want to try to win my story, that's fine. What did you roll?
Brandon: I got a 12. But -1 for 11.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Hell fucking yeah. Alright, great.
Julia: Did you roll the devil's titties?
Brandon: I did.
Julia: Double titties! You did it.
Amanda: Yey! I didn't, I rolled a 6. But what I would like to argue, Eric is that this is part of my move sacred oath, which is that I find myself to a single goal, which is I have to model camp values at all times in order to defend camp. And then I'm supposed to get plus one and any roles that directly help achieve the goal. So I would like to argue that this is my quest. And that's what I'm trying to do. I'm breaking a rule. Yes, but I am modeling camp values, doing what I say saying what I do protecting camp and others won't. So you want to make so I'd like to move from a 6 to a 7 on this.
Brandon: Judge rules?
Julia: Please, Daddy Camp. Please give her the mixed success, Daddy Camp.
Brandon: Her routine was flawed but beautiful. What do you think the judges will give her? A triple axel flawless with slight stumble on the landing.
Eric: Okay, here's what happens. Now, I'm going to say no, because you you're explicitly I mean, you're trying to get dirt on your mentor. Although you are following the letter, the spirit of the law in your emotion. What's the thing about being an initiate? They don't ever being a rogue FBI agent.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: They don't care about the spirit of the law. They care about the letter of the law.
Amanda: Right.
Eric: So I would say no.
Amanda: So that's a miss, I'm going to mark experience and level up at the end of the session.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. Hell yes.
Brandon: What a good consolation prize.
Eric: Les, I would say that as you're waiting outside of Assistant Director Z's cabin, no one shows up, you're very ensconced inside of a bush, it is quiet. There's nothing there.
Brandon: I've got like the green paint under my eyes.
Eric: However, you look around. And I think as you set up some of your tracking gear, remember, some of it is still cracked. But as you're setting up your tracking gear, you're looking around and doing a check of the entire area, you see that there is a carn nearby that you didn't notice, remember a carn or Inukshuk or a Stone Johnny as they call it in this area, there's a Stone Johnny setup. Remember, it is like a it's a stack of stones that are kind of set up to indicate the right way to go when you are on a hiking trail. Or some other thing like if you were at like a fork in the road, there would be a Stone Johnny on the right side to indicate that you need to turn right here. And that's the hiking path that you need to go.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: So you see that there is a path, there's a Stone Johnny setup, that seems to be leading out farther into the woods that you didn't that you didn't notice. Because you're kind of like I guess near the nurse's office. This is kind of like the quote-unquote executive wing, I guess of the camp. You know what I mean? We're like all of the higher-ups and the directors in the office staff where they have individual cabins that they live in, kind of farther away from the campers. So you see that there's a there's a row that goes deeper into the woods with a Stone Johnny there.
Brandon: So to clarify, you said no one shows up but also there's no wood inside of the cabin that I see.
Eric: You don't hear any movement and either outside or inside the cabin. And he knows that there's a Stone Johnny there.
Brandon: Cool. So after Les realizes that, after a certain amount of time, no one has moved in the cabin and no one's walked in or out of the cabin. He's going to start doing his tracking. And he's sort of like looking down at the ground and sort of like putting his hand lightly over the dirt to see if there's any disturbed earth that has been recently disturbed and he's like feeling it and feeling it moving along very slowly so don't miss anything trying to hear stuff and then he like his toe run smack into a Stone Johnny and it's like oh, I guess it didn't it didn't need and he's gonna follow the Stone Johnny along.
Amanda: We're leaders a clear path leading toward- Oh, this path.
Eric: In terms of paths that I didn't notice, and yeah, as you walk down the path and you see the it's leading farther and farther into the woods, and maybe just from the headlamp that you have on illuminating what's in front of you just the Stone Johnnies are leading just forward every time there's like a, there's an unclear part of the path, you can check out the next one and you're just keep following.
Brandon: Cool. I have my net gun now just in case by the way.
Eric: Wonderful. Carrie-Ann. You're trying to sneak up on the director's cabin? What does it look like when you’re sneaking up?
Amanda: Good question. I think Carrie-Ann thinks that sneaking means standing very quietly and fairly conspicuously behind an object. And so I think her version of sneaking, is like dashing from sort of tree to lamppost to tree like I'm a villain and a Scooby Doo. And making of course, a lot of noise and disturbing a lot of plants and earth and grass. As she like dashes from, you know, behind the pole of the porch to one tree to another tree to behind an old phone booth. That's our tiny library over to the corner of the director's cabin.
Eric: Sure. And then you hear–
Eric (as Director Löw): [sigh] Carrie-Ann, did we have a meeting that I forgot about?
Eric: You whip around, and the director with her hand on her hip and jangling a bunch of all of her keys around is standing behind you.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I am so much better and I wanted you to be the first person to know that. That I am ready to come back to work and camp so hard.
Eric (as Director Löw): Oh, that's right. No, we don't have a meeting because you're you had burns all over your body and now you're better?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, look! See?
Amanda: And then I like stretch out my arm.
Amanda:
(as Carrie-Ann): I was defending camp and helping camp and beating that scary frog in the basement that we need to talk about. So I figured you'd want me to debrief right away.
Eric (as Director Löw): Scary frog.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Fredrik the Frog, about two feet tall. really insulting, like living in some kind of ninja gym under the Flycatchers' cabin, I don't know if you knew about that. But like, I have a lot of notes. And I wanted to just make sure that we could, you know, like, compare them. Because there's a lot happening and I don't again, know if you know about it, but if you don't, then that's fine. Because like we can do something about it. But if you do know about it, then I'm kind of like, huh?
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay, alright. You know, can we just can you please slow down for a second? I don't there was a frog. No, I haven't heard about a lot of this stuff. And I was hoping that you would fit you would be in the nurses' with nurses' cabin and recuperating, but you're fine. I just-
Amanda: Eric, I think this would be a great time to use one of my moves called mentor.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Which is when I have a mentor in the sect, which is the director.
Brandon: That's, I think that's generous.
Amanda: Well, she's my mentor. I might not be her mentee. It's a one-sided mentorship. Yeah. When I asked her for help or information after roll + sharp.
Eric: Okay, I love it when there's a move to tell me what to do.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Yeah. Oh, amazing. Okay, so that's 9 + 1 for a 10.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah.
Amanda: Which means I get an answer to my question. No problem.
Eric: Okay, so what ask a question.
Amanda: My question is, why is all this weird stuff happening within camps' walls not a problem? Because you said about the wall and about Steven and about that whole thing. That whatever agreement you have, it stays outside the wall. But there's been a lot of stuff in the wall. Why?
Eric (as Director Löw): That's a very good point. Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yes. Nailed it. Self high five.
Eric (as Director Löw): Oh, Carrie-Ann. I want, I [sighs] Carrie-Ann, one day when you're an adult and you meet someone who is very excited about so many things. You're going to have a war within yourself where you're going to be happy that they're so excited but you're also going to want them to turn it down 50%. But you also got to ask yourself should you be telling a child to should you be telling someone this exuberant to turn it down 50% And then you were mad then you're hurting because you're old and you have things that you have to do and responsibilities but you'll, you'll be there at some point.
Brandon: In my head for a second I imagined the Director and Carrie-Ann the top of the plateau overlooking cap and saying everything the light touches will be yours.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann also thought that that was what was going to happen and she's dressing a little bit disappointment right now.
Eric: Hey, do you want to come to a plateau? Director Löw says-
Eric (as Director Löw): Come, alright, let's let's sit on the pole. Let's sit on the steps here.
Eric: And uh...
Amanda: (as Carrie-Ann): An formal mentorship meeting, yes!
Eric (as Director Löw): Carrie-, Carrie-Ann, please!
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Oh, sorry. Was that an outside? I thought- I thought that was an. Okay, sorry.
Eric (as Director Löw): Come. Just sit to sit down.
Eric: As you walked over to the front porch of the director, of her cabin. All cabins just kind of have like an informal porch you know and there's a pretty large wooden steps lead up to her cabin. She pats one of the stairs and welcome to you to sit.
Brandon: It's wearing a t shirt instead of a tux? Informal.
Eric: And then Les, hey, let's just died. It's super weird. And next episode we're gonna meet Brandon's new character. That's-
Brandon: Oh, come on. That was a funny joke.
Eric: I knew I thought it was really funny when Les died. I thought that was great. It was good. When Les, just unresolved died.
Eric (as Director Löw): Sit down.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I am trying really hard to not come on too strong.
Eric (as Director Löw): No, it's fine. It's fine. I'm just I am tired. It's okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, no, it's your You're right. It's nighttime. And it's important for burnout and morale that that I don't you know, I don't treat other people as if they have the same schedule and energy that I do.
Eric (as Director Löw): I appreciate that.
Eric: Carrie Ann, you hear a buzzing in your ear. isn't like a mosquito is completely a little too close. And then the director reaches out incredibly fast and slams that mosquitoes like-
Eric (as Director Löw): Oh, I don't want to get you to get a bug bite on your ear. That's sorry that I'm doing my I shouldn't be momming, you like I am Boo. It's hard. But-
Julia: Oh, no.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann is holding in the reaction.
Eric (as Director Löw): If that's what you want it okay. Alright. So Carrie-Ann, ask, ask me the question again. What is it? Why are things, why do weird things happen at camp even though I said that the weird stuff happen outside of camp?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah. And like, why is that? Okay.
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay. So you know, and I know that you might have learned this in middle school, I guess I'm not sure what they're teaching there yet. Like all people on the scale of the world have everything, right? The, the entire universe, and even the earth, right? He's there, like, people are just a tiny, infinitesimal blip on all of it, right? And there are things in the universe and also on Earth, that were here long before us. The dinosaurs. Yes. But, you know, there are things that maybe were around even before then or after, then it's still live now, right? Okay. So, as people, we are part of the way, we are just one road bump on the highway of everything, okay? And we need to respect that because we are just a road bump. Lots of people think that they're the car driving on the highway. But that's not humanity. That's not where humanity is. So camp has been around for quite a long time since the 1880s. But there are things that have been here much, much, much longer that we need to respect. And we are just a part of we're we're on the highway. We're a roadside marker, a bump, we're just one of those, right? And so the wall is there to keep us from Steven. And from the various things that Steven controls and his friends and his various plans. And we've been keeping Steven away for as long as like humans kind of been in this area. Whether there was a line drawn in the sand like line drawn in the dirt, or a line of salt, or the wall once it was built that's Steven. However, inside the wall, things still live here. And they sometimes they hurt us for sure and that's dangerous. And it's our responsibility of staff members to protect the campers. But they do live here and all the things that don't hurt us live here. Okay. Also, the whole thing about Camp Diogenes is if you're coming here, part of the fun is figuring out what lives here and being part of those experiences. Like what, Carrie-Ann, what is your best memory as a camper at Camp Diogenes? What's your favorite thing that happened to you?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Diving for mussels in the swimming hole?
Eric (as Director Löw): Okay, that's a good one. Where do you think the swimming hole came from? Where do you think the waterhole came from?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Umm, like a mine or something that the camp's founders bought, bought the camp from?
Eric (as Director Löw): Kinda. But only kind of. So when the campers are here to have to figure it out, there are things, right? You remember I wasn't joking what I said in the firt on the first day during staff week. Remember, Diogenes said, we have to lead by action. And you have to be a living example. You can't read this in a book, you have to be out here. And I don't know if the camp attracted the weirdness or the weirdness was already here. But I suspect from our place on this earth, that it was here, and the camp functions within there, whoever founded the camp, whoever really founded the camp, knew that and wanted kids and teens and the CITs to experience that, and to learn and to grow.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): So the thing that I've dedicated my whole life to so far, of like, preserving the institution of camp at all costs, is not the point of camp. The point of Camp is to do camp. Like camp lives in our hearts forever?
Eric (as Director Löw): Yes.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): And my job is to help kids stay safe, and have adventures?
Eric (as Director Löw): You know, it's hard when you try to put words to a feeling, you know? And it sounds silly. When you say it like that, I guess. But yes, on some level? Yes. I mean, we do need to defend it. And there are good things and bad things that live here. And it's hard to tell the difference between the two. Yeah. But you know, we have a, there's a system, and we all fit together and we want everyone to have a good time.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): But like shouldn't shouldn't I know about the system? Like shouldn't? Shouldn't we know what's there and what we should be doing? Because it's, you know, my first reaction when I see a thing is like, Ah, I gotta get rid of that. But if it's, if it's my colleague, or like, my neighbor, shouldn't we be introduced?
Eric (as Director Löw): Carrie-Ann, we're not doing a scientific study. We're neighbors. You don't write down everything you know about your neighbors so that you make sure to interact with them properly.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I'm pretty sure you do.
Eric (as Director Löw): You- if the neighbors found out you wrote down all the things-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, no, no, no.
Eric (as Director Löw): -that you did and said about them.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That is, that is like one of the things where it's like, Carrie-Ann, that's there has to be an inside thought, because if it was outside thought it would be crazy.
Eric (as Director Löw): But you do, it if you do it, but then they find out about it.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Director Löw): Right.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay.
Eric (as Director Löw): Yeah.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Okay. Okay.
Eric (as Director Löw): And if the neighbors lived here for 1000s of years before you-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Then like were the neighbor when you think about it.
Eric (as Director Löw): Yeah, exactly.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric (as Director Löw): And then maybe they might have a right to kind of like, figured that they might know how to figure out that we've been writing down in a journal everything about them. And they'll have some questions.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Yeah.
Eric (as Director Löw): Like what if your neighbor also was the ground that you were founded was the was also your house?
Julia: What if?
Brandon: What if your neighbor was also your house?
Eric (as Director Löw): You know?
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): That's true.
Eric (as Director Löw): So it's about, okay? so don't worry so much about figuring it out. Just do it. Just be camp. I know you already are camp, but you need to keep just being camp.
Amanda: Tears streaming silently out of my eyes.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Absolutely. I can do that. Yes, mom, ma'am, Director. Thank you.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann runs away.
Eric (as Director Löw): It's okay. It's Carr- bye!
Amanda: Carrie-Ann runs away.
Eric (as Director Löw): I- Carrie-
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. Team Join the Party is just coming back from our vacation. So we are once again recording this a little bit in advance and something I have started to do on vacations that makes me feel both old and like a life hacker is traveling with my own pillow. There is absolutely nothing like putting my head down on my own pillow, in the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn, wherever I'm spending some time while I'm away from home. And listen, I know what I require to have a good day. And that begins with not tossing and turning all night long on a pillow that's wrong for me. So next time you head somewhere, consider throwing your pillow in a tote bag and drift off to dreamland in a new place with kind of part of your own bed traveling with you. Welcome to the mid roll. It's memory foam. Like we said, we are coming back from our vacations. So if you have joined the Patreon over the last week and change, you will be thanked in the next episode. 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And this week I would like to tell you all about Spirits. This is a show that I started with Julia in 2016. It's a history and comedy podcast focused on all things folklore, mythology and the occult. Much of it touches on feminism, queerness, modern adulthood and why the stories we tell each other as human beings are still significant. It is so much fun as Julia tells me a different story from mythology or folklore over drinks each week, we have touched on everything it feels like in the almost 300 episodes we have released so far. From the history and mythology of franchises like Lord of the Rings and Wonder Woman to modern urban legends to a roundup of Werewolf stories from around the world. We did a couple recently on the origins of stories like Beauty and the Beast, and how that's not just Disney, there's some messed-up mythology beneath it all. So dive in at spiritspodcast.com or search for Spirits wherever you download your podcasts. We are sponsored this week by Backblaze. 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[theme]
Eric: Well, Phoebe, it doesn't seem like you're going to get any sleep because of the nurse looking over you and the lightning that strikes every time that she talks to you. So is there anything you want to do while you're just kind of hanging out?
Julia: Yeah, I think that Phoebe has been holding on to that bow and arrow from our previous session. And it's really been thinking about like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, it was it was really cool when I kind of shot this and felt like a wizard. So it would be neat to be able to do that all the time.
Eric: I would like the idea that you, you reach towards your backpack that has the bow and arrow in it. And you see like a flash of the frog saying-
Eric (as Fredrick the Frog): You are not the Chosen One. That's not what I thought.
Eric: And you go, ugh!
Julia: And then Phoebe very uncharacteristically is like-
Julia (as Phoebe): No, I, I think I am.
Julia: And then grabs the bow and arrow.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright.
Julia: The quiver and the bow.
Eric: What would you like to do exactly here? Let's talk this out.
Julia: So, Eric, I would like to use magic. I don't know if this is big magic or not for a permanent effect.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: But I would like to enchant this weapon.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I would like to imbue it with the fundamental nature magic that I have been harnessing through Charles the moose god.
Eric: Right. Right. Right. Which is definitely his name, and he's fine with that. That's all fine. Okay, yeah, I think this would be something like Big Magic, I think to set the parameters here. Especially I don't think you've done anything like this before. And you don't have a book from the Cedarhurst Library that tells you what it is. Unless, do we come up with a different name for your library?
Julia: It's the Springfield Public Library.
Eric: It's- I was so close, Cedarhurst-
Julia: You we're really close.
Eric: Cedarhurst is two towns down on 684.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: Yeah. So I don't know if you have a book on that. So I guess it will just try to figure out how the spirit of Charles flows through you here.
Julia: I mean, Phoebe has a lot of books about a lot of YA romances and also magic so I think maybe we could do like a couple of like, I don't know cross-referencing and stuff like that.
Eric: Sure. What are you pulling from? What what did you, what did you get from one of your YA, one of your YA novels?
Julia: So I think there's part about like a magical like summoning circle that is from a YA sapphic romance about like teen witches is in a high school. I think there's another part about feeling one with nature and the universe from a druid style, Chosen One saga, and then there's another one that is about like a chosen magical weapon from a magical kind of Paladin knight story.
Eric: Oh, you mean from Sapphire Academy, A Leaf on the Wind and Knights Collide? Of course.
Julia: Yes, correct.
Eric: Okay, great.
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Thank you, Eric.
Brandon: Knights Collide, the sapphic one?
Eric: No. It was the ordinary one.
Julia: No, Sapphire Academy. I saw what you did there.
Brandon: Yeah, thank you.
Eric: I didn't really like Sapphire Academy because they took all of the lesbian romance out of it. So when they might have just called it an academy.
Julia: Oh, the adaptation was so bad.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Because they took all of the lesbianism out of it.
Amanda: And then it's like what are we even here for? Come on, people!
Julia: What are we even here for?
Eric: I did like the– the two main characters touched hands at the end of Part 2, but that was it.
Julia: They like embraced and then a flash of light happened and we didn't get to see them kiss and that was my problem with it.
Eric: Yeah, you can tell that it was ADR like someone recorded voiceover later that said, oh, sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I sneezed, and I feel like that was a studio note and I didn't like that.
Julia: I did not, not a big fan.
Eric: I thought it wasn't good. Someone was I have a lot of sway at Universal.
Amanda: Yeah, they did. They did crowdfund a follow up web series, though, feature length film that got a million dollars on Kickstarter. So-
Julia: that was cool. The kiss in the beginning with the kiss. Yeah.
Eric: The first line is actually I didn't sneeze this was real. Alright. Why don't you roll magic and let's see what's happening here.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Big Magic! Big Magic! Big Magic!
Julia: Okay, so that is a 7.
Eric: Okay, 7. So it works imperfectly, choose your effect and a glitch. The Keeper will decide what effect the glitch has. Okay. What does it look like here when you're enchanting the bow and arrow?
Julia: So I think that Phoebe has crawled out of the bed, and I'm sure the nurse has something to say about that.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: So Phoebe has like taken a Sharpie out of her back and is drawing runes on the floor in a big circle.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: Dear Christ almighty, that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard, Julia.
Julia: It's fine.
Amanda: Love it.
Julia: And then places the bow and quiver in the middle of it, and then places her hands on the outside of the circle and says very quietly-
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, Charles, the moose god, we're going to channel some of the power of nature. So I can use it all the time because I as we have established and maybe the Chosen One.
Eric: Wonderful. I think with a 7, it doesn't matter that you like in cabins at summer camp, like you write your name on the cabin. I like them like the last night so that your name is there and you're like, Eric was here in 2007. And I just like the idea that you wrote Phoebe. Phoebe was at the nurses' cabin.
Julia: Phoebe did a spell.
Eric: Phoebe was that the nurse's office did a spell in [mumbles]. The mushrooms and the fun guy. This bioluminescent glow are starting to surround the bow and arrow and they grow taller and taller and the bow itself starts to glow with the blue light as does the arrow and I'm going to give you a choice here, Julia.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: The glitch here is either you have enchanted it but the bow is harder to use or you cannot finish the spell and you got to find something to help you out.
Julia: I think I am going to take I can't finish this spell and I need to find something to help me out because I love a quest.
Eric: Cool. I like that. If you've done the other one there would have been a literally like a really big fucking mushroom on the bow right where you have to hold it and it would have pressed your hand they would have given you a really weird callus. So I think that is glows and the mushrooms grow around it. And then they kind of recede and the bow doesn't look any different. And Charles says-
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Your magic calf you will have much to learn still for or in order for you to enchant your chosen weapon. You must, I don't know like you have to go to have a big victory first and take like a thing from it and apply it there you need to have a trophy of your victory over the elements of the world and in order to ensure that your chosen weapon.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, that seems weird and counterintuitive from a big old moose. But sure?
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): It's not what not everything is all you all humans are so human-centric. It's not always about hunting. We, you take things old animals and plants take things from each other all the time. It's like a tree growing through the skull of an antelope-like that's, that's cool. And that's the trees trophy, you know?
Julia (as Phoebe): Do you want me to be like a crow where I just kind of collect shiny things? Is that good?
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yes. Yes. Let's talk let's use animal to we can meet each other on animal terms.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yeah. So yes, get something shiny but you want to have defeated it. And then you can achieve your way then you can share your bow and arrow.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Brandon: I love the idea that every time a crow grabs something shiny it's because it defeated an enemy.
Eric: Yeah. Brandon you don't see the XP that a crow gets when it picks up like a watch from a table?
Julia: 100 pops up over their head.
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): So yeah, you have to do that for you. You're too young. You're you're just baby. You're barely a calf stumbling out from the amniotic fluid of your magic mother. It's so weird. Humans can't walk a walk through they're born and other weird things about humans.
Julia (as Phoebe): I always thought that too. I always thought it was like, why can I run as soon as I'm born like a giraffe that like falls out of its mother's like uterus.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): It's very helpful. You do need to do that.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Also another thing what is that squishy part of the top of babies? human babies? What? What is that?
Julia (as Phoebe): Heads? Are you talking about their heads?
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yeah.
Julia: It's because our brains are really big and like our brains keep growing when we're babies and so it can't be too hard otherwise the brain can't grow.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): And you guys can't walk when you're born.
Julia (as Phoebe): This seems counterintuitive again like it's not great.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yeah, I– I'm not sure. It's humans are fascinating.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Well, I hope we get more time to talk about whatever your deal is. But while you will continue to grow on your magic journey, going from calf to fall born, magic hero, diviner of the nature spirits.
Julia (as Phoebe): I feel like if anyone should know what my whole deal is, it's you. But-
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Oh, I know you just I just can't tell you because then it's a that would give you what it would be cheating.
Amanda: That's insider trading.
Julia (as Phoebe): I have a little over time through the hero's journey. I get it. Yeah.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yes, I've heard about insider trading.
Julia (as Phoebe): I don't know what that is.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): I didn't really hear, I just there were a bunch of guys wearing polos on an-
Julia (as Phoebe): Who in the forest is talking about insider trading?
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): There were three guys in a canoe-
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): -with polos and I heard them talking about it.
Julia (as Phoebe): It's not like a fox had like gotten really into stocks.
Brandon: [sings] Fox stocks. It's a fox stocks. He likes to buy the stocks.
Julia (as Phoebe): So it wasn't it wasn't a fox that was into stocks. Got it. Okay.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): No, no, it's what Brandan said it was that. It was that.
Amanda: I like the idea of Charles reading like parenting manuals and trying to like be a better sort of mentor to Phoebe. That's just my headcanon over here.
Eric: How do you raise, So You're Expecting a Chosen Hero?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): So no, you have to fight. You have to thread your own path. I am only the sun in the sky that you use to divine your own the use to follow your own way. I cannot tell you the way in which it goes. You need to look at the rock and see the way see where the moss grows. You need to listen for where the river flows. You have to, well, when the sun's gone. You can't use it for navigation anymore, but you get it.
Julia (as Phoebe): Like the stars?
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yeah, the star that North Star moose can't really tip our heads up all that much. So I don't do that.
Julia (as Phoebe): Oh, that's really sad.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): It's not sad if it's just the way our necks work.
Julia (as Phoebe): But like that means you can never like see the stars.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Damn, Phoebe. I never thought of it like that.
Julia (as Phoebe): I mean, sometimes I look up at the moon and I'm like, wow, that could be me. So like I just, I feel bad. If you've never experienced that.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Well, Phoebe, I just want you to know when you're looking up at the side of the stars. There's always a mouse that's looking up at the stars at the same time.
Julia (as Phoebe): [sings] Maybe far away or maybe real nearby.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): What is, what is that?
Julia (as Phoebe): That's that's an American Tail. It's about a it's about a mouse, it's looking up at the stars and singing.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): I have so much- I have so much to learn from you. And I wish-
Julia (as Phoebe): I feel like roll a VCR or something into the forest so we can watch it together. Would that be cool?
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): I would love that. That'd be great. Maybe I could ask that Fox about the trading-
Julia (as Phoebe): Who talks about insider trading. Yeah.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): He has a computer so maybe we could do we could figure that out.
Julia (as Phoebe): I don't know what that is.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): It's the size of the entire forest.
Julia (as Phoebe): Wow.
Julia: We should add this scene.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Okay. So yeah, so yeah, you can't, you can't enchant the bow and arrow, just so you know, you're gonna give me like a trophy.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'll go kill that frog maybe and get a trophy from him because he sucks.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): That could work definitely.
Julia (as Phoebe): Great.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): That's not one of my frogs, just remember. It's not one of those.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah. We talked about that.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yeah. Because that guy sucks and I wouldn't allow that.
Julia (as Phoebe): He sucked.
Brandon: And then lightning and thunder crashes.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Well, that was weird that weather happened. So yeah, no, you either you have to take it out or anything. It's just like we could you I want you to do something for you. You'd love to do it for us. Like I want you to do your own thing.
Julia (as Phoebe): I have to be a little bit more selfish in my life, I think. So-
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Definitely, definitely.
Julia (as Phoebe): Yeah.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): The way the river, the way the river is selfish so don't pick and stop the way that it flows.
Julia (as Phoebe): That's true. I can be at the river.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): And I can be the moon.
Eric (as Charles the Moose God): Yeah.
Eric: And then there's a crash of lightning and Phoebe you look up and you've been on the ground asleep for the last two hours.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay, good talk.
Brandon: Just like a bottle of Advil spilled out there. She-
Julia: Spells out. Get back in bed. Yeah.
Eric: Exclamation point.
Brandon: Fun fact: Les, did come out of the womb just like trying to run and falling over.
Julia: It makes it
Eric: Man, you really did do puberty that early, huh, man? Wow. We never talked about that Les is part giraffe, he has the little nubs on his head.
Amanda: I think Carrie-Ann loudly jumps back through this the whole of the raccoon.
Julia (as Phoebe): Ahhh! A racoon!
Julia: Knocked over another waterglass.
Julia (as Phoebe): Got in and ran off.
Brandon: This raccoon has a vendetta against water glasses.
Eric: Yeah, and other water glass pops up next to Phoebe.
Julia (as Phoebe): How does she do that?
Eric: There's a bolt of lightning outside even though there's no storm.
Julia (as Phoebe): Cool.
Eric: And someone's like oh heat lightning and you see illuminated on the wind of the mirror written in blood is go to sleep.
Julia (as Phoebe): I'm trying. There's just these really wild raccoons.
Eric: And then you see another crack of lightning and it's you too, Carrie-Ann.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): I mean, that's new, but I'm not gonna question it. Okay.
Julia (as Phoebe): I think Nurse Whippet's a ghost.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Great. Love that.
Brandon: This is not important, but for the past 15 minutes while we've been talking about this, do you guys know the Cher song Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I've been singing in my head, [sings to the tune of Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves] kids, teens, CITs.
[laughter]
Eric: Alright, Les. So you're following the path of the Stone Johnny's, right?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: You're going deeper and deeper into the woods. The canopy of trees are blocking out any starlight or moonlight above you. And I assume you still have your your headlamp out. Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, I started by like a hand covering it to sort of like diffuse the light and really just not giving him my position.
Eric: Cool. Can you make a cool roll for me?
Brandon: Notoriously my best skill.
Julia: None of us are cool.
Eric: Hey, I heard you're really good at the stupid baby game. So like-
Brandon: Eric, I'm really good the stupid baby game. I got a 10, -1.
Julia: Wow!
Eric: For a 9, for a 9. Okay. I'm using a roll for someone else upon you. So I'm using a custom roll upon you. I'm just gonna tell you that roll is called who made this mess? In that the director has the ability like most moms to just show up behind you when you're not noticing. So because you rolled a 9, because you rolled a 9, you hear their footsteps coming behind you. And you're able to use your your great tracking skills. Director Löw is walking quickly down the path behind you. Power walking in her in her white mom Keds coming towards you.
Brandon: It's like when you're 11 and you try to very gently put your plate into the sink and walk away and your mom from across the house goes, "Put it in the dishwasher!"
Eric: Yeah, exactly. Yes, exactly. Or, or like you drop a carton of milk and it's everywhere, and immediately your mom's like, "I have to clean this up!" And you're like, "You weren't in the room. How did you know?"
Brandon: I'm gonna very quickly dive into the brush right just off the path as quietly as I can.
Eric: Alright.
Amanda: That's what all the stretching was for.
Julia: We finally figured it out stretching for a full episode, now it comes to fruition.
Brandon: And just to fuck with Dougie Juice, but that's a secondary benefit.
Amanda: I'm picturing you guys know like, like an ice hockey where like the puck kind of pops out from like a stack of pucks when you like pay the money to start the game.
Brandon: Sure.
Amanda: Like there's a stack on the bottom and like one comes up to surface level. I picturing that Dougie Juice's pillows and they're just like endlessly replenishing so he can continue throwing pillows at the rest of the staff. And then somehow, some way the pillows like dissipate when they hit the floor.
Brandon: I love that.
Eric: Dougie Juice definitely bought like, I don't know if you can do this at Costco, but now I'm envisioning it like Costco sells a sack of pillows. Like 20 pillows.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: That like, as he's pulling out of the throw pillows and everyone to shut up.
Brandon: I'd be shocked if he couldn't
Amanda: Totally.
Eric (as D. Willie): Hi, I'm Decommissioned Willie and these pillows they make you go to sleep real fast. Wink. They're military-grade pillows. I'm waking with both eyes.
Julia (as Phoebe): He just keeps blinking at us.
Brandon: I'm Decommissioned Blinky!
Amanda: That's a psychic.
Eric (as D. Willie): Warning. I've Decommissioned Willie if you see someone calling themselves Decommissioned Willie that is a shapeshifter, not me. I will show you my decommissioned badge. I will show you my Purple Heart. The Decommission Blinky does not have one because it cannot recreate non-organic material like John Carpenter's The Thing.
Julia (as D. Willie): But only in the sequel/prequel!
Eric: Alright. Yeah, yeah. So you hop in the bush. The director power walks by you down the path and take the left following a Stone Johnny that’s there.
Brandon: Okay, I'm gonna wait. You know, just enough time for her to be just on the edge of where I can't see her.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And then she had like a headline on.
Eric: Nope. She uses she uses power walking through the dark.
Brandon: Weird.
Amanda: My favorite Fleetwood Mac album is Power Walking Through The Dark.
Eric: You know that I love that song. It's definitely about both Lindsey, Lindsey Buckingham cheating.
Brandon: Yeah, definitely.
Julia: It always is.
Eric: They always are.
Brandon: I think Les is going to take a little bit of a risk here turn off his headlamp, so he doesn't get caught, and just sort of like use his ears to sort of follow along behind-
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: -the director.
Julia: Like some sort of Batman.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Except way poorer.
Eric: As you're creeping forward, why don't you investigate a mystery for me?
Brandon: Alright, so my sharp is +1. I got a 2 + 5 for 7, +1 is 8. So a mixed success.
Eric: Alright.
Brandon: So I hold one, meaning I get to ask one of the questions?
Eric: Yes.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Ask me one of the questions here. You can also ask me like a permutation of something because you're not, you don't really know what you're seeing-
Brandon: Right.
Eric: -as you're walking up here. But I want to give you like, as you're sneaking up, I think that you end up coming to a little bit of a clearing. And I want to see about like, what Les is focusing on as you're sneaking up to the behind the director.
Brandon: Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna ask what is being concealed here?
Eric: Cool. Alright. So, you know, when you're, when you're in the woods, you just kind of assume, and this is just like for hikers, and have this problem all the time, right? Is that because you're walking in the woods? It's like, oh, what's your flat, right? And then all of a sudden, you find yourself on top of a mountain, then you have no water? And you and it's the sun setting? And you're stuck, right?
Brandon: Happens to me constantly.
Eric: You, Brandon or Les?
Brandon: Brandon?
Eric: Oh.
Brandon: Yeah, I shouldn't have moved to the Pacific Northwest, I get stuck constantly.
Eric: So what I think is that you're you've been walking through the village, and you've been following these Stone Johnnys. And you then you see, like the director kind of like in a little bit of moonlight as you're in this clearing. And there's like, I guess looks like the side of a mountain or the side of a hill, that is kind of like burst out of the ground. And then there's like more woods on either side of it. And like on top of it, you know, there's just kind of like, if for those, you were playing Elden Ring, it's kind of like you just walk when you're riding through the woods, and then all of a sudden, there's a mountain there. And you're like, why is there a mountain there. And then much like Elden Ring, what you see is the director places, both hands on the side of the hill, and a large part of the hill kind of recedes and moves away. And then the director steps inside, and the hill replaces itself.
Brandon: What!?
Amanda: Amazing. Oh, my god.
Eric: You watched this happen, the earth of the hill, like we're not rolling, this is not like Jesus stuff, like rolling the boulder out of the way, you know what I mean? And there's not like a dungeon necessarily, there's not a door. It's like the earth of the hill has moved out of the way the director has stepped inside, and then the earth or places itself. And what you can see from your perspective, is that like, there's no seam anymore. It's just hill again.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: This is a good game, I want to take a second to pull over. This is a good game, because if I made you roll for perception, this would have been so different. It would have been like, you know how in scenes when you like reveal shadows, like have a map as you discover it. But instead, I have dictated the scene based on the question you asked-
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: -which is sick. So I just want to say different game totally. And it really does change the storytelling just as it is.
Brandon: While we're pulled over. Can we go get some chips, and I'll go to the bathroom?
Eric: Brandon, you've peed three times. And we've been driving for two hours.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Use the bottle, we got the bottle, and I drank all that Snapple for you. So use it.
Brandon: I think what Les is going to do is wait, you know, a minute or two, then hop over and put his hands on the wall.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And then depending on what happens next out act.
Eric: Nothing happens.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: You just hear the sounds of the forest at night, and you're just touching grass as it is.
Brandon: So, when I put my hand on it, is it sort of warm? Or is it just the cold stone forest kind of thing?
Eric: It's just the Earth.
Brandon: Okay, so then Les is going to go back into the brush and just sort of like, do a stakeout and just see who comes in and out. If and when the director comes back out. So I can learn one, if the director is in, for lack of a better word cahoots with anyone else and two, if this thing has another exit or entrance somewhere else, or if this is the only way in or out.
Eric: That's a great question.
Julia: Oh, Brandon, if only you had a friend who could use magic to help you out with this.
Eric: And you trust them.
Julia: And you trusted that person implicitly.
Amanda: By the way very belatedly, just before she falls asleep. Carrie-Ann is going to doot one doot on the buzzer to let you know that she safely accomplish your mission.
Brandon: Sweet. Does Carrie-Ann know Morse code, do you think?
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: I'm going to Morse code back, "Great. I love you. LOL"
Eric: I love LOL in Morse code is so funny.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann is gonna stare at the ceiling. Like-
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Did I mess up my Morse code?
Brandon: Oh, you know what, Eric?
Eric: Yeah?
Brandon: When I first encounter somebody strange-
Eric: Great.
Brandon: I may ask the keeper what sort of thing it is.
Amanda: Yeah, buddy.
Brandon: They will tell you if it or the cause is natural and unnatural creature, a weird phenomenon or a person and I gain +1 for dealing with it. That is my Ockham's Broadsword.
Eric: Okay, that so you want to do the earth? The opening?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Ooh, this is a good question. I'm going to say it's somewhere in between natural or weird phenomenon.
Brandon: God, if you had said it was a person, I was gonna freak out.
Eric: Right, no. It's not a person. And it's not unnatural. I would say it's somewhere in between those two.
Brandon: Okay. Great. So I was just going to take a trap camera and pointed at the sheer side of Earth.
Eric: Sure, sure. Alright, I'm gonna ask you to read a bad situation. Because you're using your equipment. I'm going to say that if you want to ask a more specific question than what we have on the bad situation questions you can. However, because you are using your equipment and it was cracked from before, that's -1, but I'll give you the +1 forward so those cancel out.
Brandon: Great. So I just do my regular modifier for sharp?
Eric: Regular modifier for sharp.
Brandon: Great. I have a +1 to that. [dice roll] Eric, this is a stupid hard game that I'm bad at. I got a 3 + 1 for 4.
Eric: Okay, here's what happens.
Julia: Mark experience.
Brandon: Oh, thank you, thank you.
Eric: Yeah, make sure you mark experience.
Brandon: I don't know that because I don't have to do very often. So-
Eric: Shut the fuck up.
Amanda: No one saw this twist coming for the campaign, truly.
Eric: Here's what I'm going to read what happens here on a miss.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Okay. On a miss, you might misread the situation. Eg: everything is fine here, it will be totally safe to investigate alone, which is so funny. I thank you Monster of the Week. Or you might reveal tactical details to your enemies, which means the Keeper can ask the questions above of you.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: I'm going to ask you one question and then I'll tell you what happens, okay?
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: What's most vulnerable to you?
Brandon: I'll give you two different answers.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Physically, I think at one point early in Les' rock climbing career, he fell wrong and he busted his left knee a little bit. So that's definitely like, it hurts him when it rains, you know, kind of thing?
Eric: Sure. I like the idea that like, unless you're literally pushing yourself to the brink, like as is your move. Like you're not great at running away? And like running?
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, there's a there's a hitch in your giddy up. Unless you're literally going off of adrenaline. I like that.
Julia: I love the phrase, there's a hitch in your giddy up.
Eric: Listen, man, it just comes to me.
Brandon: And then I think, emotionally, I think it's the reality that this thing, it's like a dog chasing his own tail, right? Like, it's the thing that he's been looking for and hoping sort of is real. But then actually it like appearing in front of him and becoming a reality is one, terrifying, but then two, it's not only like scary to have your worldview change, but also have it affect your like, personal relationships with people. And sort of just like, the fear of trying to navigate a relationship with friends with family, whatever it is when you know, something has changed fundamentally within that dynamic.
Eric: Sure. Yeah. Which is like, why you're so weird about Phoebe. And that big monsters exist. So how can you have like good relationships?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, I think that you're crouched down. Maybe you're thinking about that. And you're thinking about the net, the net gun, but from before, as you're so I'm assuming you're still holding it. And you're like, Oh, I got this because Assistant Director Z gave it to me, because he trusted me, but I think he's a monster. In what all the ways the monster whatever monster means.
Brandon: So, maybe this neck guns a trap? Maybe, maybe fires backwards at me?
Eric: Right, exactly. But also he told me to have it to protect others. So what is even if he is a monster, he's still trying to mentor me? Like I don't know what to kind of wrap my head over my head around that.
Brandon: Can you have a mentor if you're not a mentee?
Eric: Yes. Good question.
Amanda: Carrie-Annn Morse codes you, "Yes."
Eric: You're thinking about that and then you come out of it, and it's light out.
Julia: Whoa!
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Dog, you fell asleep tracking.
Brandon: God dammit.
Eric: I'm sorry.
Brandon: It happens. You know, when you go on a stakeout you're trying to be still in silence. And you know, he didn't get much sleep last night because he expended all of his energy and was really high on adrenaline from the escape attempt and yeah, it's a mess.
Eric: You're like covered in dew as well. So like all of your clothes are like a little bit wet, and like was a bird standing on my head while I was asleep?
Julia: Like a woodpecker.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Did I swallow one of my three annual spiders?
Julia: Two in one night?
Eric: Am I now spiders George? Am I the guy who spiders, smallest spiders all the time? Because I'm outside is that me? You like your start and you're like wake up. It's like it's sunny and your eyes are all crusty. And you feel still feel fine because you're a teenager and you can sleep wherever you want, right? But it's still like, oh, wow-
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Why did I do that you have like spicy mouth because you didn't brush your teeth before bed.
Brandon: Spicy mouth. I am going to take the track camera down. I didn't want it to be visible in the light.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And then head back towards camp, but on the way out just sort of like a last ditch attempt to sort of like, touch the sheer cliff.
Eric: You touch the sheer cliff, there's nothing, there's nothing there.
Brandon: You know what I actually am also going to do?
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Well, I think the Stone Johnnys would allow me to get back.
Eric: Here's the thing, bud. It's funny you say that. As you're walking back, there's a split in the hiking trail and you're pretty far out and as you get farther out you know it becomes less maintained. You don't see the Stone Johnnys anymore. The Stone Johnnys are gone.
Amanda: Huh.
Julia: Hmmm.
Brandon: So that's weird. So I think at every like fork in the road on the way back going to find this is like an old hikers trick that he does. He's going to face the Y in the road. Look at the left hand and the first tree you see if you're supposed to take a left then he's going to scratch out a little bit of the bark and just a vertical line-
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And Les is going to take a right then he does it in like a horizontal line.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Yes. Yeah, you can make those marks for sure.
Brandon: Great.
Eric: I think as you're making the marks you're doing this also to be like alright, I got to pretend that I'm like lost in the woods. And I think you're relying on that because if you would relied only on trying to reverse engineer going from camp to the clearing, you would have gotten lost. And you do get turned around a few times because you couldn't just do the opposite of when you walked out there. It's still kind of confusing without the Stone Johnnys.
Brandon: Yeah, cool.
Amanda: So past the past out is perhaps different than the path in and it's certainly unmarked.
Eric: Yeah. I think you also stumble out of the woods in a totally different area. Like you're not near the executive cabins anymore. You're kind of just like in the woods in the middle of the field. And, and Jane is like hobbling by on crutches. He's like-
Eric (as Jane): Buddy, you're gonna miss breakfast. Come on. You also. You are, did you sleep outside again? I told you not to do that to model proper behavior for younger campers.
Brandon (as Les): Have you ever heard you've probably heard of John Mayer, you know? If you remember his one thing that he wrote that was like sleeping in the woods is the path to enlightenment. Mm hmm yeah.
Eric (as Jane): Yeah. All right. Sounds good, buddy.
Eric: And he like holds up a forearm to like, as a big high five. It’s the best he can do.
Brandon: Les chest bumps his arm.
Eric (as Jane): What? Hey, where are they however your canoe floats Alright. Alright. Okay, last ones there well last one there gets the bad waffle.
Eric: As he crutches away from you.
Brandon: And then Les like kicks his crutches out from under him.
Brandon (as Les): I'm not getting the bad waffle!
Amanda: Oh.
Eric (as Jane): Whatever you need, man. Whatever. Find your bliss. Alright! I can be a part of it!
Eric: Just kidding He would never do that.
Eric: Alright. It's okay.
Brandon: In fact actually, Les like helps him get there faster.
Eric: Oh, yeah. Oh, you did the opposite.
Brandon: Yeah, Les is just a good, good dude.
Eric: Yeah, and then Jane hits you in the face with a crutch and says-
Eric (as Jane): Haha never let down your guard!
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: And this is canon. This is really happening. It hits you in the face and crutches away from you faster.
Brandon: You know what? I'm gonna let him win this round.
Eric: Respect. 100% Les got you, man.
Brandon: Alright, cool.
Eric: I think after a few days, Phoebe's finally let out of the nurses.
Julia: The nurses told me to go home today!
Amanda: Tomorrow.
Eric: Oh, that's right. The nurse-
Amanda: We're good as of tomorrow.
Eric: I forgot. I forgot the nurse wants to push you out as fast as possible. Yeah, the next day and Phoebe, you have to get out of the nurse's cabin. Nurse Whippet told you to get out of there.
Julia: Yeah, I go to breakfast.
Eric: Yeah. And then Nurse Jackson says-
Eric (as Nurse Jackson): Phoebe, what are you doing here? There hasn't been a nurse's cabin here for 40 years!
Amanda: Where are the non-binary kids sleep?
Eric (as Nurse Jackson): I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. It's not really haunted. You know, it's not really haunted. Hey, now that you two are CITs you know this isn't really haunted, right? That's just like a thing that we say to have the kids fall asleep faster. So that they stay in the rooms.
Julia: Phoebe just stares at her. And it's like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Right. Have a good morning.
Julia: They walked away.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): Nothing weird ever happened here. Goodbye.
Julia (as Phoebe): There was a raccoon in here last night. Just so you know.
Eric (as N. Jackson): Oh, I gotta- damn it. I gotta deal with that.
Brandon: Is this what all ghosts are saying when they're saying leave like when ghosts tell you to leave the house or they just like you’re fine, just take Advil?
Amanda: Maybe.
Eric: You stay in too much go hang out with your friends.
Brandon: Try karaoke. It's fun.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Inside here is probably scarier than out there.
Eric: It's true. There's blood on the walls is that worse than talking to your friend?
Julia: I think Phoebe goes to breakfast and goes to whatever table Les is at you know the best friends' table.
Julia: Yeah, best friends' table with a with a waffle and Phoebe's like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Morning.
Brandon: Where are you? Very importantly, Phoebe, where do you sit?
Julia: Like across from you? I think.
Brandon: Okay, good.
Julia: Yeah. And then I think Phoebe like from underneath her tray, pulls out a book and it's like–
Julia (as Phoebe): Les, I found this one in like the camp lending library. It's a romance novel about two Bigfoot hunters who fall in love while they try to find Bigfoot in Pacific Northwest and I thought you would like it.
Julia: Like slides it across the table.
Brandon (as Les): [awkwardly] Thank you, Phoebe.
Brandon: And I eat my– my waffles.
Julia (as Phoebe): You're welcome. Okay.
Julia: Awkward silence after that, I guess.
Amanda: Carrie-Ann stomps in with two waffles sets it down.
Amanda (as Carrie-Ann): What did I miss?
Eric: Phoebe, as you're looking around after Les is done to having a conversation with you.
Julia: Phoebe was just like-
Julia (as Phoebe): This just like being in middle school all over again.
Brandon: God, I feel so bad, Julia.
Julia: I'm gonna make you feel bad, bro.
Eric: You look around the Cafetorium. And you see, like Zev's counselors are kind of like leaned over and talking to the counselors at the girls' cabin. And they're just like, fully just eating waffles from each other's plates and have their faces way too close to each other. While Zev is just like-
Eric (as Zev): Guys, come on I need to eat. I need to eat by waffle. I have to get big and strong. That's what my mom tells me to do.
Eric: And the rest of his cabin they have taken, taking his waffle away from him and like all putting their hands on it be like
Eric (as Cabinmate): Yes, Zev. You can eat my hand waffle. You love Head waffles, don't you? That I can call you that if you eat it. We can call you a hand waffle for the rest of the summer.
Eric: Like putting their hands and touching his waffle, Zev like-
Eric (as Zev): Come on.
Julia: Phoebe stands up and just slams her hands on the table, and it's like-
Julia (as Phoebe): Hey!
Julia: Les ducks down.
Eric: Here's the thing. The entire Cafetorium goes silent. They all stop eating and stuff talking to each other. They all look over from where the sound came from. And even Springer's like-
Eric (as Springer): Dang! That was a loud noise!
Julia: I think, I think Phoebe under her breath is like-
Julia (as Phoebe): The power of nature flows through me. The power of nature flows through me. The power of nature flows through me.
Julia: And then like all of this like syrup and like sticky components for everyone who's messing with Zev right now explodes in their faces with Jinx.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Do you need a roll on that?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Give me a magic roll.
Julia: That is a 7.
Eric: Buddy, let's fucking go.
Amanda: Yes, I love this.
Julia: I think I just do it in this one.
Eric: Yeah, you just do it.
Julia: Yeah. Okay, great. I hold one So yeah, basically all of those explode in their faces.
Eric: All of their syrup crafts just explode.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: And no they're all everyone in Zev's cabin other than Zev is just covered in various types of syrup, regular syrup, butter pecan syrup, blueberry syrup.
Brandon: Boysenberry.
Eric: Boysenberry syrup.
Brandon: Strawberry.
Eric: Strawberry syrup.
Amanda: Other berries.
Eric: Other berry syrup. Ecto Cooler syrup, which is green. So they're just all covered- they're all covered in syrup as the various craps just exploded.
Julia: and Phoebe goes-
Julia (as Phoebe): That's what happens when you mess around so stop it or else stuff like that's gonna keep happening.
Julia: And then Phoebe looks at Zev and is like-
Julia (as Phoebe): You good?
Eric (as Zev): Yeah, yeah. Phoebe thank you.
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay cool. If they fuck with you anymore let me know
Eric: And I think the entire camp wheels around on Zev's cabin and says-
Eric (as Non-sticky Campers): Oh shit! You're sticky!
Eric: Like beating on the table, they're just like
[Shouting sticky boys]
Brandon (as Non-sticky Campers): Sticky! Sticky! Sticky!
Eric (as Non-sticky Campers): Sticky boys. Sticky boys. Sticky boys!
Amanda: Are they called like sticky Dan and sticky Brian and sticky Isaiah for the rest of time?
Eric: I mean, for definitely, at least a few days. If not to say. And everyone is sticky other than that, Zev. And Zev was like-
Eric (as Zev): Wow, good. If only I had a Head waffle to mop up all this syrup.
Eric: And he takes one to just like wipes it on one of the kids faces.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: And then the whole campus is like-
Eric: (as Non-sticky Campers): Yeah!
Brandon (as Non-sticky Campers): Zev! Zev! Zev! Zev!
Eric (as Non-sticky Campers): Sticky boys! Sticky boys! Zev! Zev! Zev! Sticky boys! Sticky boys!
Amanda (as Non-sticky Campers): Zev! Zev! Zev!
Eric: Oh, I gotta go find an old wooden table and really get you that fully. And I think that goes on for like, a long time. All the counselors are like-
Eric (as Counselors): Stop. No, guys stop.
Eric: And like the various heads of all the age groups like hold their hand up, which is like the symbol of trying to be quiet and everyone's just like ignoring it as it's happening until Assistant Director Z goes-
Eric (as ADZ): Hey!
Eric: And then everyone gets quiet again, and says-
Eric (as ADZ): All sticky boys, please go outside. So we can hose you down.
Eric: And then everyone beats the table. Everyone goes--
[everyone cheers]
Eric (as Non-sticky Campers): Sticky boys! Sticky boys!
Eric: And finally, they’re all like ushered out of the Cafetorium and finally starts to calm down.
Julia: And Phoebe just like sits down and like slowly eats her waffle with like a little smile on her face saying-
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia (as Phoebe): Okay.
Eric (as Chef Springer): Guess I gotta stop making new syrup from my best friend Decommissioned Willie-
Julia: Oh, there you go.
Eric (as Chef Springer): Bring me the Ecto Cooler.
Julia: It's the only reason you can get ecto cooler now.
Eric: Because it's Decommissioned.
Julia: By the US government.
Eric: Yeah, you gotta get it from a military compound.
[silence]
Eric: So, we didn't run a mystery necessarily, because we were just like doing doing some stuff in Monster of the Week is that you usually couldn't for just doing stuff. You're supposed to have a mystery, but we add some mysteries of our own. So I still want to do the end of end of session questions.
Brandon: The mystery of friendship.
Julia: That is really the answer to these two sessions.
Eric: That's actually the name of this these episodes is the Mystery of Friendship.
Brandon: Got it.
Eric: Okay, so I want to ask the end of session questions. Did we conclude the current mystery?
Julia: No, because there was none.
Amanda: Not applicable.
Eric: No.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Even the ones we did sort of like tackle we didn't really conclude that.
Amanda: Not really.
Eric: Yeah. More questions than answers for sure. Did we save someone from certain death or worse?
Amanda: Not this time.
Julia: No.
Amanda: Unless you count Zev.
Julia: Not this time.
Amanda: Yeah, unless bullying is worse than death.
Eric: Bullying is worse than death. But I'm gonna say no on this.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: For sure. Did we learn something new and important or about the world?
Everyone: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, definitely. And then, did we learn something new and important about one of the hunters?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: I'd say.
Eric: Definitely.
Amanda: So we get to mark one experience.
Eric: Yeah. So we said two, we said yes twice. So we, you all get to mark 1 experience.
Amanda: We did it.
Julia: Yey!
Eric: Did anyone level up?
Amanda: I leveled up earlier. And this is the first experience on my next, my 4th level.
Eric: Hell yes.
Brandon: I'm one away.
Eric: Oh, then you should stop breaking this baby game and not rolling so well, Brandon. Alright. Well, listen, I only have one. I only have one thing to say to all of you. I told all of you that I had a secret that I wanted to tell all of you, right? And I will tell you at the end of the session, right?
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Yeah, I have I earned a secret treat after role-playing like a like a good co-host.
Eric: Yes. You've earned a little secret treat. Okay. Are all of you ready? You're all strapped in?
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: So this is a per? sort of personal secret?
Eric: Yeah. I love pomelos. That's my secret, it's not a personal secret. It's a game secret. You wanna hear my secret?
Brandon: Okay, yeah.
Eric: Hey, I didn't write any of that down. I didn't prep at all.
Amanda: Eric, my anxiety is so triggered.
Eric: Brandon just looks upset.
Brandon: Sorry, I blacked out.
Julia: I just heard a carnival noise.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I was on I was on a merry go round.
Amanda: Yeah, Brandon is still singing Cher in his head.
Eric: You all, yeah, you all told me the things you wanted to do. And I had Nurse Whippet it in my head already.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: But other than that didn't write anything down.
Amanda: Damn. I can't get over it.
[Julia sings Billy Joel’s Scenes from An Italian Restaurant]
[theme]
Transcriptionist: KM