Brink reveals herself as the turncoat who put everyone else in danger. This is bad. Inara takes an eye for an eye. Tracey chops the unchoppable. The party doesn’t forget.
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- music: brandongrugle.bandcamp.com
Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master: Eric Silver
- TR8c (Tracey): Brandon Grugle
- Inara Harthorn: Amanda McLoughlin
- Creative Contributors: Connor McLoughlin, Heddy Hunt, Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that everyone from seasoned players to true beginners can enjoy. Where else can you get adventure, intrigue, magic, drama, and lots of high fives all in one place? Right here.
After each episode we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play Dungeons & Dragons and other roleplaying games at home. We also have the Punchbowl, an interview series with people pushing D&D forward creatively, communally and socially. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time, on Join the Party…
Eric: The party ventures into the basement to look for the second prophetic item. They walk into a massive underwater cavern, home to an eternal anglerfish who loves riddles.
Brandon (as Tracey): [still quietly] You’re talking to a fish.
Eric (as anglerfish): You’re all talking to a fish when you think about it.
Amanda (as Inara): Aren’t we all fish in some ways Tracey?
Eric: The party guesses the anglerfish’s riddle after much incorrect deliberation, and they get a chance to ask the anglerfish a riddle in return.
Amanda (as Inara): Um, what infects most humans and makes them more likely to get hurt and often ends in death, but is something people seek?
Eric: Okay, I want you to make a Performance check, cause this is oral performance.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Brandon, what is that?
Brandon: Oh, let me…oh it’s a fucking natural 20!!
Eric: Oh my god!
[Amanda squeals, Brandon cheers]
Eric: Because of the dice gods, the eternal fish is stumped, and gives them their prize: a key for...some door. In the next room, Inara, Tracey, Chad, Captain Alex and Brink have to cross a rickety rope bridge across a yawning chasm. Inara crosses with Brink, but as Inara is securing the bridge for her friends, she’s pushed into a furnace room, guarded by little warforged bombs. Who would do such a thing? Maybe the woman who’s been possessed by the big bad villain?
Eric: She looks at Tracey and Chad who are running across the bridge, she says,
Eric (as Brink): I’m sorry. He’s just…he’s in my head.
Eric: And she points up at the stalactites above you and she casts Shatter.
Eric: Get it? It’s a cliffhanger! Let’s get the party started.
[theme music]
[siren-like electronic pulsing]
Eric: Here’s where you stand. Inara, you…
Brandon: [interrupting] Eric, is that a pun because I’m not standing?
Eric: Yes, it is.
Amanda: I’m in danger.
Eric: [snorts in laughter] Inara’s been recently exploded.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And Tracey is currently hanging into an immeasurable pit, uh, with Chad around your body. And, uh, you’re holding onto Captain Alex who is now an elk, and you’re holding onto her from, by one elk…foot.
Amanda: Now…
Brandon: At least it’s not the antlers, you know.
Amanda: Don’t-Don’t you think an octopus would have been lighter than an elk? And clingier?
Brandon: She’s a giant octopus though.
Eric: She was running across the bridge, that’s what she turned into an elk.
Amanda: True, true.
Brandon: But she would be more suctiony, so she probably would be able to hold on better than an elk, yeah. There’s no opposable thumbs.
Amanda: Oh well.
Brandon: Well, I guess neither does an Octopus. Eric, let’s move forward.
[everyone laughs]
Eric: [still laughing] Alright, well we’re still in Initiative, so we’re just going to hop back in. The last thing that happened was Tracey…
Brandon: Acting very heroically.
Eric: Acting extremely heroically. And now, it is now Inara’s turn.
Inara, the furnace is out. There are five soaked tiny exploding warforged, uh, in the room. And the door is closed behind you.
Amanda: Well first I’m going to dash forward to where the smelting was occurring and try to get a glimpse of whatever item the warforged is working on.
Eric: Sure! Why don’t you make an Investigation check?
[dice roll]
Brandon: [deeply] And you see Tracey’s face looking back over you…
Amanda: Oh I’m sorry Tracey, what was that…?
Brandon: That is a…[short pause] Eric I have a question. You know, I’m not good at math right?
Amanda: What comes after 19?
[Eric chuckles]
Brandon: So if you put a 2, and then a 0 after the 2, what does that make? What number is that?
Eric: That’s a 20.
Brandon: Oh, oh okay.
Amanda: [confidently] Yeahhhhh!
Brandon: I think it’s a natural 20 then.
Eric: Okay. Uhhh…so you run over and you see that the warforged just dropped this massive hammer.
Amanda: If only I could have gotten that on the Dex check, huh?
Eric: If only! Uh, you look over and you see that there is another squat warforged they’ve been working on. You look at this kinda like, unworked lump of metal and wood that’s going to come together. And you can see that there is a fuse on the bottom of all of these warforged that is currently unlit.
Brandon: Somewhere from across a different room you hear a pang of Tracey’s jealousy.
Amanda: [chuckles] That they have a tail?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Uh, it’s unfinished at the moment, like it’s not really made out to look like all of the other ones yet. It seems like a lot of banging, a lot of forming still needs to be, uh, be made. It’s kind of a lump of wood, a lump of metal are kinda just contained on top of each other.
Amanda: Uh huh.
Eric: But, with a nat 20, you look deep into what you think was going to be the face. Man! That thing looks a lot like Tracey…
Amanda: [under breath] Yikes…
Brandon: Are we sure it’s not a candle?
Eric: [chuckles] I’m sure it’s not a candle.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Now that you’re done being exploded, on the other side of the room there is a giant vault. There…There is like the turning gears, there is one big one and one small one. But there is also like a big key hole right in the middle.
Amanda: Well conveniently I have a key on me, don’t I?
Brandon: You do!
Eric: Well, well, well.
Amanda: Do I have motion left to walk over there?
Eric: [contemplating] Uh…
Amanda: I’m just kind of doing a drive by the way, of the warforged station, like running past it toward the back of the room.
Eric: Yeah, this is a furnace room. You have a lot of movement, so…you got plenty of time.
Amanda: Yeah. Let’s go over there and use the key to open the vault.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I was just imagining in my head, um, Tracey taking a nice bubble bath with these little…little warforged guys. Candles all about the room.
Amanda: Aww, sweet.
Brandon: It’s very relaxing until they explode.
Amanda: Right, it’s like a big…a big thing of bath bombs, that would smell so good.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Pretty wrapping paper. But there’s a 1 in 12 chance that you get a ba-bomb instead.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon: [laughs with Eric] It’s like shishito peppers, is that what they’re called?
Eric: Yeah, it’s…[laughs heartily] it’s shishito pepper…[continues laughing] most of them are good, but one of them is a ba-bomb!
[everyone laughs]
Alright, so you stick the key in…
[rattling of the key in the keyhole]
And you turn it as hard as you can…
[turning and clicking sound]
And it just, it unlocks and the metal gears spin out.
[grinding of gears]
One spins off to the right, one spins out to the left and unveils a lot of empty shelves. Except for…
Amanda: [interrupting] EXCEPT FOR ONE!?
Eric: Except for one…
Amanda: [excitedly] YEAH, it’s all I need!
Eric: Where on the bottom left, covered in dust, is the compass.
Amanda: I’m going to grab the compass, please.
Eric: Smart. Probably for the best.
Amanda: Yep. Tuck it on the inside pocket of my tunic where I normally keep Oatcake’s treats.
Brandon: [giggles] Don’t give that to Oatcake.
Amanda: No, I’m going to cover in treats so that if someone like sniffs me they can’t really tell.
Brandon: Mmm…
Amanda: But it’s in that inner pocket, put two treats on top of it. I’m ready for whenever Oatcake comes back, give her the treats, give her Ze’ol to chomp on.
Brandon: Yeah, I like that.
Eric: That’s fair. Alright, well there you go. Good job!
Okay. It is now Brink’s turn.
Amanda: Come on girl! Come on. Come on…
Eric: She walks over to Tracey’s, uh…Long Arm of the Law.
Brandon (as Tracey): [urgently] BRINK!! HELP!?! Pull us up!
Eric (as Brink): [hesitantly] You know, Tracey, I…you know I like you and all, and I like the-the…
Brandon (as Tracey): WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Just pull us up!
Eric (as Brink): I like the ooze you hang out with, uh, and I like…
Brandon (as Tracey): [yelling] That seems pointed!
[Eric laughs]
Eric (as Brink): And, you know, Captain Alex, you’re pretty cool too. But yo, I gotta do what I gotta do, so…
Brandon (as Tracey): [more insistent] WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? JUST PULL US UP!!!
Eric (as Brink): So sorry!
Eric: And Tracey, make a Perception check.
[dice roll]
Brandon: [quietly] Perceiving how much of a jerk she is…
[Eric chuckles]
Amanda: How much potential there still is in our relationship…
Brandon: [chuckles] 5. So I don’t know anything about anything.
Eric: Alright. So Brink goes silent for a little bit. And, what’s your AC?
Brandon: Depends. Am I holding my shield?
Eric: [short pause] No. You’re [laughs deeply] You’re holding…
Amanda: [defensively] Your shield is probably on your forearm, you’re running into danger.
Eric: I don’t think so…what’s your AC?
Brandon: Without my shield, it’s 14.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: But with Chad…what is it?
Eric: 14.
Brandon: What’s Chad armor worth?
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: Don’t we have some little like…
Eric: [chuckling] It’s actually bad for you.
Amanda: [defeated] Noo…
Eric: So, uh, you hear Brink go silent for a moment and she’s just like, no.
Eric (as Brink): Yeah, no. I…I can’t do it. Nope, I’m not going to do it. I know…I know better. I can’t. I CANNOT do it.
Eric: And then…
Brandon (as Tracey): [more forcibly] Do…do…GIMME YOUR HAND. DO WHAT?!
Eric: It’s now Captain Alex’s turn. I’m going to roll a Nature check [chuckling] to see if she can turn into something better than an elk.
Okay. So Captain Alex tries to uh…[laughing] Captain Alex, uh, bleats at you. I don’t know. What sound does an elk make?
Amanda: It’s like a bellow.
Eric: She goes,
Eric (as Captain Alex): [bellowing] MEHHHH.
Brandon: They speak in a Canadian accent Eric.
Eric: [slightly Canadian-like] Oh! [laughing] The elk just bleats at you, and she says,
Eric (as Captain Alex): I can’t…I’m stuck. I…I’m stuck as an elk! I can’t get myself out of this! Tracey, you’re going to have to pull me up! Unless you want me to try and climb over your body…is that a thing you want?
Brandon (as Tracey): I…I don’t think that’s a thing that anyone wants!
Eric (as Captain Alex): I mean, I can just try and run up your body and get up there.
Brandon (as Tracey): I mean…yeah. Try…try, I don’t care, whatever will work!
Eric: As an elk she has a strength of 3, so I’m going to see if she can run over you and Chad and run directly straight up and see if she can make it.
[dice roll]
Well, she rolled a nat 1. Alright, so Captain Alex tries to run up your body, as an elk, as a last-ditch effort to get up there. You can feel her hooves are just pressing up… [chuckles] trying to scramble up your legs and up Chad. But she just can’t hold onto anything with elk hooves. So…she slips as soon as she steps onto Chad.
Brandon (as Tracey): [desperately] ALEX! Grab my hand!
Eric: And…she’s falling. I need you to make a Dexterity saving throw.
Brandon: To try to grab her?
Eric: To try to grab Alex.
[dice roll, followed by long intake of breath from Brandon]
Eric: [in reaction to Brandon] Oh! What did you roll?!
Brandon: Well, I rolled a 5.
Eric: I also rolled for Captain Alex, and she rolled…a 3.
Brandon: So I win, so that means I save her!
Eric: So…
Brandon: In this contest where she was falling and my hand…
Eric: You reached your arm out to grab Captain Alex’s hand, or hoof, and she tries to extend as far as possible as an elk. And you touch the bottom of the hoof, and she can’t reach out, and the hoof falls from your hand.
Brandon (as Tracey): [desperately] ALEX!!!!!
Eric: And she’s falling.
Amanda: You know what they say though, elks…
Amanda and Eric: [in tandem] Always land on their feet.
Brandon: You know what they say about elks…[chuckling] 4000 HP points.
Eric: It is now, uh, the little red warforged turn, and they’re currently, they’re currently soaked.
Amanda: [laughing heartily] The little warforged that could!
Brandon: Don’t make a joke at this difficult time!
[Eric makes incoherent exclamation]
Inara, you hear the spark of a lighter turn on. And you look back and you see that two of the little warforged are trying to, trying to like light a fuse. It comes out of their thumb. And they put it back on their fuse…
[spark igniting]
And they’re relit. Uh, you also see that one of the warforged falls over, and just crumbles into pieces.
[crashing metal]
Amanda: [chuckles] Oh no! Sorry little guy.
Eric: [chuckles] So you now have two little warforged that are off, and two that are now on. And they look at you with weird jack o lantern faces and say,
Eric (as little warforged): [high-pitched robot voice] COME HERE! COME HERE!
Amanda: Hate that…
Eric (as little warforged): HEY, COME HERE!
Eric: It is now Tracey’s turn.
So Tracey, Captain Alex is just into the black.
Brandon (as Tracey): [yelling, more desperately than before] ALEX!!!!!
Eric: You’re covered with Chad, and you’re still hanging by the Long Arm of the Law.
Brandon (as Tracey): [shouting] ALEX, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!
Eric: You don’t hear anything.
Brandon (as Tracey): [whispers under breath] God…damn it. Chad, can you-can you slime up my arm? Is that a thing you can do?
Eric (as Chad): Uh, yeah! I can try.
Brandon (as Tracey): Please do.
[dice roll]
Eric: Yeah, [laughing] Chad rolled very, very well for Dexterity and he like slips up your arm and is now standing at the precipice.
Brandon (as Tracey): Great!
Brandon: I’m going to try to reel in my arm then?
Eric: Okay. Do a Strength check.
[dice roll]
Brandon: [frustrated] They’re so bad! 11.
Eric: Uh…you. [stops to think] Okay…hm.
Brandon: Don’t do me dirty! I’m very practiced. I know how to reel myself in, it only takes a 10 or above.
[Eric cackles]
Amanda: Yeah, it’s automatic.
Eric: With an 11, I think that you, yeah. It’s like when a seatbelt is stuck, you’re trying to like pull on it. And I think it pulls you up off the cliff. You are safe, but you are hanging on the edge of the cliff.
Brandon: I got my other hand, on the…
Eric: On the precipice, yeah.
Brandon: On the precipice. Okay. Cool, great. That’s all I was trying to do.
Eric: So you’re stuck there, so you’d have to use your movement next turn to get back up, but you are now, you can still use an action.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: And you see that Brink is standing over your arm with a sword. And you can see that she’s struggling with her own hand to like, come down on your arm.
Brandon (as Tracey): [yells] CHAD! Tackle her please!!
Eric (as Chad): ON…ON IT! YEAH, HEY!
Eric: Chad shambles over to where Brink is and struggling with her sword and tries to like fully get on top of her and make her float around on the inside of himself. Uh, Brink immediately turns to Chad with uh, glowing purple eyes.
And you see that someone is back in control because she deftly takes a step away from Chad before Chad can engulf her.
Brandon: So finally with my last action, I’m going to try to pull myself up, all the way up, onto the ground, so I cannot be in danger.
Eric: That sounds good, yeah. So you’re now fully back on the ground, your arm is still attached to the stalagmite, but you are now safe.
It is the furnace warforged turn and…[short pause] Inara you like look around to see, like, where the warforged who is manning the furnace, and uh…you don’t see anything, you don’t hear anything. Nothing happens.
Amanda: Just the slow ticking down of the fuse…
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Mhm.
Eric: Inara it is now your turn.
Amanda: I’m going to just run out of this uh vault back to the entrance to get back to my friends.
Eric: So you just want to try to like run past them?
Amanda: Movement-wise, yes. I want to run past them to the door.
Eric: Okay, make an Acrobatics roll to see if you can avoid them making attacks of opportunity against you.
[dice roll]
Amanda: That is a…15.
Eric: Yeah! [laughing] How do you avoid these like, little bombs that are walking towards you?
Amanda: I tumble over them. I somersault over them. In an arc. Land on the other side of the…of the furnace.
Eric: I like it.
Amanda: And continue to run.
Eric: I like it.
Brandon: Coolest shit that no one will ever see.
Amanda: Yep, no one. Ever.
Eric: I like it. Alright…
Amanda: Not even Oatcake. Not even Oatcake!
Eric: [laughing] You’re like, oh! I did a sick thing!
Uh, okay. And then you push the door open…
[door creaks open]
You see that Brink is tangled up with Chad, Tracey is arm-extended, pulling himself up from the edge of this cliff. And Captain Alex is just nowhere.
Amanda: I am still holding onto Mr. Sippy from my first flooding of the furnace room.
Eric: Mhm.
Amanda: And I’m gonna just going to go ahead and point it at Brink and Chad, and say,
Amanda (as Inara): Geyser.
Eric: Who are you doing it to?
Amanda: I’m doing it at Brink. Like a, like a doge that has been too excited to meet another doge.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon: You push that doge off a cliff.
Eric: You push the doge, um…
Amanda: I’m aiming for the sword in particular, I’m not trying to like push her off the cliff or push Chad off the cliff, but I’m trying to…
Eric: You’re trying to disarm her?
Amanda: Disentangle this, yeah.
Eric: Awesome, okay. Make an attack roll.
[dice roll]
Amanda: 17.
Eric: [exhales] Yeah, her AC is lower than that. Alright. Yeah, you knock the rapier with a blazing shot of water.
[water spraying]
Just knocking the rapier out of her hand.
[sword clangs when hitting the ground]
And she looks at you. Now, with these glowing purple eyes. And says,
Eric (as Brink): I had to.
Amanda (as Inara): [shouting] Get out of her head!
Eric (as Brink): I think we can all just stop and take a second…and reflect on how the Council of Bright actually helps people. Instead of hurting people.
Brandon (as Tracey): [hopelessly] Inara! Captain Alex fell!!
Amanda: Inara can’t even process what Tracey is saying right now, she’s so focused on Brink. And with her hand still extended, holding Mr. Sippy, she casts Mage Hand and tickles Brink’s side.
Eric: That’s interesting. [unsure] I guess Sleight of Hand check for tickling?
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: Yeah!
[dice roll]
Amanda: 19.
Eric: [quietly] Alright. I’m going to try and resist that.
[dice roll]
Well, [chuckling] I rolled a 5.
Amanda: Well…sounds, I’m no mathematician, [laughing] but that sounds lower than a 19.
Eric: So what are you trying to, what are you…?
Amanda: I’m trying to disrupt the Council’s hold on her. I’m trying to distract her and distract him enough to bring her back to the physical lived reality of her body and not the remote mind-control of the Council.
Eric: Okay. You’re little Mickey Mouse hand goes out towards Brink, and you tickle her.
Amanda: She hates it.
Eric: She hates it so much!
Amanda: Yeah! But here we are…
Eric (as Brink): [annoyed] Hey! This…this is a very…I’m taking…! Excuse me, I’m taking over the world, can we not tickle me right now?!
Eric: And then, uh, when she opens her eyes again, she’s back to her regular eyes.
Amanda: [satisfied] Yesss.
Brandon: I can’t believe all it took was for me to tickle…
[Amanda laughs]
For me to tickle myself and I would have been rid of this.
Eric: Listen, you can’t tickle yourself, you know that it doesn’t work.
Brandon: [in realization] Oh…!
Amanda: It’s not anomic.
Brandon: Is that the thing about robots, or?
Eric: [laughing] Yes, it’s robots only.
[Amanda laughing]
Eric: Humans can all tickle themselves and it’s fine.
Amanda: That’s Asimov’s fifth law; robots cannot tickle themselves.
[Brandon laughing, Amanda airhorns]
Eric: Alright. So now it’s Brink’s turn.
Amanda (as Inara): [concerned] Are you okay?!
Eric (as Brink): Yeah…I [coughs] Oh, it’s like I have, it’s like a terrible…like a hangover. [confused] I…I didn’t even have any fun with it. I…just, what did I…what did I do?
Amanda (as Inara): What’s the last thing you remember?
Eric (as Brink): You know, it kind of came in and out. I remember leaving with you and remember being afraid on the stairs. It’s like, patchy…it’s like, it comes in and out. And now I’m like here. Now…what’s happening?
Amanda: Can I do a Deception check?
Eric: Yeah sure.
[dice roll]
Amanda: 16.
Eric: Alright. With a 16, yeah. She’s telling the truth. The Council was in her head and she doesn’t remember much.
Brandon: Tracey storms up to Brink and shoves his cannon on her neck and says,
Brandon (as Tracey): [sternly] You go get Captain Alex, NOW.
Eric (as Brink): [confused] I don’t…where is she?
Brandon (as Tracey): I will push you off of this cliff myself.
Eric (as Brink): [upset] I don’t…I don’t know where she is, what are you talking about?! Where is she?!
Amanda (as Inara): Tracey, she was controlled by the Council. Brink, somehow Captain Alex fell, and I have a feeling that the Council through your body did it. But listen, there are two active bombs in there. We need to get out of here RIGHT now.
Brandon (as Tracey): [determined] Fine. But afterwards, if you don’t get Captain Alex, I’m killing you too.
Eric (as Brink): I don’t…I…where is she?! I don’t know where she is!
Amanda: Uh…I have a question.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: [chuckles] What if…what if we were all to curl up inside of Chad and he were to go over the void?
[Eric giggles]
What’s his like, falling damage? Would he like, bounce?
Eric: Uh…
Brandon: Is Chad a rubber ball?
Eric: You could go inside of Chad, but if you fell inside of Chad, you would in theory…not take falling damage. But you would take acid damage as you fell every 6 seconds.
Amanda: Would Chad take damage?
Eric: Chad would take falling damage, it would be considerably less. Also you would have to convince Chad that he was an ooze and you would have to be able to go inside of him.
Brandon: [chuckles] I hate that.
Amanda (as Inara): Well, uh…uh, any ideas on how we’re going to get out of here?
Brandon: What way did the bridge fall? Like is there any length of it left on our side?
Eric: Oh yeah! Why don’t you make an Investigation check?
[dice roll]
Brandon: [laughs] Eric, I’m a well-trained detective.
[Eric and Amanda laugh]
[confidently] 23.
Eric: Okay, that’s great. Inara, you also make an Investigation check.
[dice roll]
Brandon: Tracey’s detective skills are limited to things that he can see.
Amanda: 26.
Eric: Okay. If you had rolled below a 15, I would’ve been mean, and I would have said, you can try…there’s a rope that could, that might get you across. If you tried. But with a 23, I would say…it’s too dangerous to cross that way. Right now, that is not an option anymore.
But Inara, with your Investigation check, you remember the button that opened a compartment back where the, uh, furnace warforged was.
Amanda (as Inara): Guys, we uh…we gotta go through the other way.
Brandon (as Tracey): I don’t think we have any other choice.
Amanda (as Inara): I…what-what happened to Alex? How did she fall?
Brandon (as Tracey): [flustered] I don’t even know! She like looked at the ceiling and then it exploded and then we fell on the thing and then….Alex was gone and I don’t know where she went! I don’t know if she’s alive and I’m going to take you down with me!
Eric: You hear that there’s like banging coming on the…
[metallic banging]
On the big doors leading into the furnace. And it’s like the little warforged guys being like,
[garbled robots talking behind the doors]
Eric: I’m going to make a Strength check to see if they can open the door.
Amanda: Alright.
[dice roll]
Brandon: [laughs nervously] That…looks like a large number.
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: Oh my god. [laughing heartily] Okay. Alright, so I rolled with disadvantage because they were damp. So one of them rolled a 15 and you can see that one of the warforged like pushes it open, and is like,
Eric (as first little warforged): [high-pitched, robotic] I can count down from 5. 5, 4, 3…
Brandon: Tracey jumps the opposite direction and puts his shield over himself.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And then, the thing about the other one is that I rolled a nat 1…
[Amanda laughs]
So the other one, is also like,
Eric (as second little warforged): 5, 4, 3…[blows air, and laughs heavily]
[small explosion]
Amanda: [chuckling] Oh no.
Eric: And they just like…
Amanda: They both explode?
Eric: They both explode in the doorway.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: And you, it’s far away from all of you and you don’t take any damage.
Amanda (as Inara): Sorry little guys, but we have to run now.
Brandon (as Tracey): Let’s go!
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: So we’re going to run forward push the door open, run through the furnace room, and hit that button by the escape hatch.
[electronic chiming melody plays]
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And Tracey is going to keep Brink in front of him with cannon raised on her.
[melody fades into the midroll]
Amanda: Hey, it’s Amanda. Sometimes when you’re with an old friend, there’s this moment where one of you realizes that the other one is going to tell that story. You know the one, with the late-night adventure and the questionable decisions that seemed really reasonable at the time? And you tell it like it’s choreographed, with the injections and the dramatic pauses and the laugh lines. Somehow, even years later, it feels fresh every time. Welcome to the midroll. Your punchline still rules.
Welcome to our newest patrons: Caleb, Tobias, Tammie, Corey, Amanda, Aaron, Avi, Aiden, El Patey, and Stephen. There are apple cider donuts in the den just for you. One of my favorite parts of making the show is watching our patrons react to new episodes live in the spoiler section of our patron-only Discord. There’s even a channel for Afterparty questions, which we answer right there or save for the Afterparty after the end of the world we’ll be posting at the end of this campaign. You too can get access to the Discord and live blog your reactions along with all of our other benefits—like bloopers, NPC backstories, and more—by joining our Patreon family at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.
We are sponsored this week by Hero Forge! I have my beautiful, faux-hawked Inara mini in front of me now as I record this, and I am so amazed at the level of detail on her cloak and rogue pants. Rogue pants, the real thing! Hero Forge offers fully customizable tabletop miniatures, with dozens of fantasy races and thousands of parts and clothing items to choose from. Their easy-to-use design tool lets you build your perfect miniature online using a fully 3D, really in-depth character creator right in your web browser. If you are the kind of person who loves obsessing over these little details and world-building before you even like, build a campaign, you are in luck. This is the gold standard of minis, so visit HeroForge.com to start designing your custom mini today and check back often because new content is added every week.
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And now, let’s get back to the show.
[mellow chiming melody]
Eric: So you, uh, you hit the button, and you see this 4-foot tall door into, like a little crawl space…
[door creaks open]
Opens up. So you all need to like stoop in. Chad is going to go last.
Amanda: Not me man, I just have to look down.
Eric: [chuckles] Tracey, you’re stooped and you’re keeping Brink in front of you and you see that Chad is like,
Eric (as Chad): [enthusiastically] I don’t know! This might be too small for me, I’m going to have to real get down!!
Eric: Then he just like fits his ooze into the area.
Amanda: [chuckles] He becomes oblong.
Eric: Yeah, he’s like,
Eric (as Chad): Aww! This might hurt my back after this!
Amanda: [laughs] Threw out my human back, you know how frail they are. We are…uh…
[Brandon laughs with Eric joining in]
Eric: And you see that the crawlspace goes for about 100-feet and it opens up into this low-ceilinged room.
Amanda: Now that we’re briefly stopped, I’m going to pull the Thinking Hat out of my bag? And put it on top of Brink’s head.
Amanda (as Inara): Uh, so honey…I’ve been holding onto this. I don’t think it’s particularly your style, but you can pull anything off. It’s fine.
Uh, this may help you combat the Council, I’m kinda grasping at straws here…Trace, this hat was pretty friendly right?
Brandon (as Tracey): I have a cannon that will help you combat the…
Amanda (as Inara): [cutting Tracey off] Okay, mhm. Should have seen that coming. Yep.
Eric: So you offer the hat to her and she says,
Eric (as Brink): I…listen. I don’t even trust myself. I…I did something bad. Like, I, you shouldn’t be helping me. Why are you helping me?
Amanda (as Inara): Because I love you. And you’re also a liability alone, so we’re gonna-we’re gonna stick together for this one okay?
Eric (as Brink): Alright. I guess both of those things are fair. Thank you. Uh…I just [short pause], people are really good at controlling my head. So, I’ll, yeah. Okay.
Amanda (as Inara): If you feel yourself slipping, yell. Or squeeze my hand or something. We can help you. We know the Council and we’re trying to defeat him here. You’re not alone.
Eric (as Brink): Okay. I…[long pause] you know, the times that I feel the most alone, are funny, are when there are more than one person in my head. So, I’ll try. Okay.
Amanda (as Inara): Okay.
Eric (as Brink): I feel kind of silly putting on a wizard hat on my head during a dangerous time. Where-where did you get this?
Amanda (as Inara): [giggles] It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it later.
Eric (as Brink): Sure, okay. [short pause] Are you still going to point your cannon at me?
Amanda (as Inara): We are going to postpone all stories and also all adjudications until after we kill the Council.
Tracey, you trust me. Brink you trust me. Let that be enough.
Brandon (as Tracey): Alex trusted us too.
Eric (as Brink): [short pause] Yeah. She did.
Amanda (as Inara): Let’s focus on the mission, okay?
Eric (as Brink): Okay. Sure, yeah.
Brandon (as Tracey): [whispers under breath] I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.
[mellow chiming melody stops]
Eric (as Brink): Can we both do that? Or is that like a one…a one thing? Like only one person is allowed to do that?
Brandon (as Tracey): I probably have an extra ax I can give you.
Eric (as Brink): [quietly] Yeah okay. I appreciate it.
Brandon (as Tracey): [quietly back] Okay.
Eric (as Brink): Yeah, okay.
Brandon: Can I look around the room to see where we are?
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Always smart.
[dice roll]
Brandon: [snorts in response to roll] The answer is no. I got a 5.
Eric: [chuckles] Okay.
Amanda: [quietly] I would love to do that too.
[dice roll]
That’s like a 27 Investigation.
Brandon: You’re just showing off.
Eric: Alright, so with a 27 Investigation. Inara, you look around the room…
Amanda: I see blueprints in my head!
Eric: [laughs] You’re looking around the room and you realize you’ve seen something really close to this room before. Um, you recognize the color of the walls, you recognize the scratches that are in the walls. And you realized you saw it one floor up.
Cause this is the same room that you were almost pushed into from the chef only a little while ago.
Amanda: So how did the warforged get out?
Eric: The other thing you see, is that uh there is a panel to your right. Just with a big up button and a big down button.
Amanda: [excitedly] I brace myself to get one dagger and press the button.
Eric: [chuckles] Nice. The floor below you rumbles, uh…and the floor starts to rise.
[rumbling of the floor]
Uh, it’s not really an elevator, per se, it’s more like a lift. So the way that it works with your 27 is that like they would like push people in there and they would fall down into the furnace room, the bombs would explode. Bad things would happen to them.
[unassigning elevator-type music plays]
Amanda: Delightful.
Eric: And that’s what happens when you would be taken in there. But you can also go back up if you needed to. Back to the first floor.
[elevator music plays]
Amanda: Does it stop at the first floor, or does it…can it go up one more?
Eric: Great question. So, the floor continues to rise, and you’re getting closer to back to where you came from.
Amanda: You know, I think this is a good omen. An elevator that responds to you pushing the close door button is just a wonderful invention.
Brandon: Tracey falls flat to the floor and tries to…he’s scared.
Amanda: Aww.
Eric: [chuckles] That’s fair. Because, as you get farther up, you start to hear a different alarm.
[sirens blaring]
This one is not kind of just the clamoring and just chaos that happened in the kitchen before, [laughing] you are hearing an actual literal siren. Uh, because everyone in the mansion is on high alert. The warforged that escaped hit the button and everyone is freaking out.
And now you are on the first, you are back on the first floor. And the door that leads to this room is still closed. But you hear like,
[distorted, frustrated exchanging of words]
And then the dragonborn chef is like,
[louder, garbled exchange of words]
Brandon: He got French all of the sudden!
Amanda: Wow, uh…
Eric: It’s called character development.
Amanda: I’m just going to put one finger to my lips to keep everybody quiet and continue to press the up button.
Eric: Alright. As you push…
Amanda: I have proficiency with buttons, Eric.
Eric: [about to laugh] Push the button.
Brandon: She’s holding a dagger, don’t forget.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Um, the floor ceases to rise, and you see that the door opens, and it’s Holmes. And Holmes is like,
Eric (as Holmes): Well call me…
Amanda: I sink a dagger into his eye.
Brandon: I shoot my cannon.
Eric: [cackles] So we’re going to do a quick draw, so, make a Dexterity…everyone make Dexterity checks.
[Amanda laughs]
Not to see anything through, just a check.
[dice rolls, followed by Eric laughing]
Amanda: 14.
Eric: Alright, well Holmes for his quick draw, got a 10. So with a 14, Inara you have the first move. What do you do? So you’re like 5…
Amanda: I push my dagger into his eye and LEAVE IT.
Eric: [laughing profusely] So you like, get down on the ground and like, UGHH, got it!
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: [still laughing] I love that.
Amanda: I just faceplant, I just belly-belly flop onto the floor.
Brandon: It is not graceful.
Amanda: And I just stab him in the eye. Not at all.
Eric: Just right in his eye, and he’s like,
Eric: [sounds of pain] OHHH! Ugh, WHAT…WHAT IS HAPPENING?! I hate it.
Amanda: I try to push him backwards as I let the dagger go.
Eric: Yeah, you definitely, you got the jump on him. He is stumbling back as the floor continues to rise, and you are now out.
Amanda: Would you call this man surprised?
Eric: He is…confused, surprised, yes. Especially because you went first, yeah.
Amanda: Because that means that as an assassin, I assassinate him and I auto-crit.
Eric: Alright! Well, yeah, let’s roll some damage. So why don’t you roll…
Amanda: Sneak Attack?
Eric: Yeah, you roll Sneak Attack too.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: 20 +12 for the dagger, so 32.
Eric: [cackles loudly in reaction to roll] Oh my god…
Amanda: Just try me!
Eric: Alright, so you get down, and you just jam this dagger right into his eye, using the chest…
Amanda: With a twist, sir.
Eric: With a twist. His chest cannon is fully charged, he’s trying to shoot it at you. But he shoots it right into the ceiling.
[cannon blasts, followed by glass breaking]
And then some like, rubble hits him in the head. He’s like,
Eric (as Holmes): [flabbergasted] WHAT I SAY- I…I, OH I SAY! AHHH. GOD, AHHH. IT HURTS SO MUCH.
Amanda: Tell the Council there’s plenty more where that came from! Just try me.
Eric (as Holmes): Well, if you didn’t fuck up all my shit!
Amanda: Oh NO, the column’s gone. Sorry. Sorry. Can’t hear him.
Eric: And the floor rises.
[whirring of floor rising]
Alright, the lift continues to go up. Just like slowly but you all reckon with what Inara just did to an unsuspecting robot.
Amanda: By reckon you mean admire, right?
Eric: Yes.
Brandon: For a lift that was designed for death it’s weird that there is bossa nova music playing in the background.
Eric: Well on the way up, it’s actually very charming.
[Amanda sings a tune]
On the way down is the dangerous stuff.
[Amanda laughs]
So the lift continues up, and you can see, you’re slowly going into a like this fluorescent lit room.
Amanda: [sighs] Ugh, truly evil.
Eric: And you see that there is a young man who is kneeling, uh, his legs are held down by kind of just like, classic rot-iron chains. And he’s kneeling and he’s looking at something. You see that they, there are these three statues that are in front of him.
And uh, you can see as it slowly goes up and up and up that you get more details. The room is all white except for one window that looks out at kind of the rubble of Concentra. You see that the statues actually look very recognizable to you.
Uh, you see one of them is an old grandfather with malevolent eyes. Just googly eyes that are poking out and looking in two different directions.
Brandon: How does his neck look? Vulnerable?
Eric: Well, it’s a statue, so yes.
Amanda: I throw a dagger at the statue.
[dagger whirs through the air and meets its target]
Eric: You got it, because…
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Because it’s a statue, and it has no AC.
Amanda: Great!
Eric: Uh, but as you do that, the young man who is kneeling looks back and you recognize that face. It’s Alonzo.
Eric (as Alonzo): This is honestly the strangest way I thought I would see you all again.
Amanda: I run forward, and I hug Alonzo and then just like grab my dagger secretly and put it back in my hip holster.
Eric: It’s like the floor isn’t even put fully back up yet…
Amanda: Oh no, yeah.
Eric: So you’re jumping up to hug him.
Amanda: Yeah, I do.
Eric: Yeah, he’s really chained to the floor and he’s like trying his best to turn back around and hug you.
[jangling of chains]
Brandon (as Tracey): So are you okay?! Can we help? Like, what’s going on?
Eric (as Alonzo): I mean…as much as possible? I…they kind of have me locked in here.
Amanda: I start picking the locks.
Brandon: And I start chopping away at the locks.
Amanda: Yep. Nice. I’ll take the hands, you take the feet buddy!
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Eric: Um, okay. Why don’t you make an attack roll against the chains and Inara make your lock-picking check?
Amanda: Dex?
Eric: Yeah. So you have proficiency.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: That’s…a 10.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I got 17.
Eric: 10. Inara you take out your lock-picking…[laughs] you’re just like, I don’t want to look at the rest of the room! and you’re just immediately…
Amanda: [sings] I don’t want to wait!
Eric: [joins in singing] For Alonzo to get free!
So you’re just picking at it, and so like, every single one of your picks that you had snapped immediately.
[shattering of lock picks]
Like you put it in there, you don’t even twist it, its just like, [makes snapping sound].
And then, Tracey, you try to level the saw bone at the rod-iron chains and it just clangs off.
Brandon: [surprised] Really? With a 17? Dang, okay.
Brandon (as Tracey): [proclaims] These locks are the strongest of all, [stutters] the…person-kind?!
Eric: And you hear,
Eric (as statue): Well, I did spend a long time making them for you as you can see!
Eric: And you look up and there is a statue of just a big-chinned man, like most important object is the chin and pompadoured hair. Even, you can see it in the stonework, he’s wearing a polo-shirt, with a cardigan over it, and distinctly khakis. And boat shoes.
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: And the statue looks very proud of himself. And in the middle, you see there is a woman with bobbed hair, and just a sharp power suit with shoulder pads. And she just has a sneer on her face.
Eric (as D'var): [smugly] Yeah…I spent a long time on those chains! Obviously, we can’t change something like that now.
Brandon (as Tracey): D’var, can you let our friend go please? What…?
Eric (as D'var): Ah, yeah. You’re going to talk to great D’var the Creator like that?!
Brandon (as Tracey): [defensively] I said please!
Eric (as D'var): I know! I didn’t know you knew my name!
Amanda (as Inara): Are you pissed that the Council of Bright is about to destroy your entire world? Cause I am! And I’m trying to prevent that. No one else seems to be!
Eric: Now you hear, just a sharp voice of someone starting a meeting. Just like,
Eric (as D'var): Hey! Hey! Time is money, money is time! Power everywhere. Let’s, listen! We’re going to have a problem, we’re going to do it properly through arbitration, okay?! We’re going to work this out, we’re going to communicate, I’m going to throw some deals here, going to throw some deals here. We’re all going to work it out.
Amanda (as Inara): Mmm, that doesn’t work for me. Let him go immediately.
Brandon (as Tracey): D’var we’re friends! We-we did like the whole thing!
Eric (as D'var): Ah, listen. That was only a part of me. All of me has still gotta talk. Who are you, you are Tracem? I’m going to call you Stevie and that’s going to be easier for me to remember. Stevie? I don’t remember you. So who are you? I don’t know what’s happening.
Eric: And you hear another voice. One that Tracey, chills you directly to your core...
Eric (as Ze'ol): What? You don’t call first? You just come over? I could have prepped. Is…I have friends over. I can’t believe…this was happening?
Brandon: I run with my ax and level it into its neck.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: Listen, roll for it.
[Amanda laughs]
Roll to attack the Ze’ol statue.
[dice roll]
Amanda: Surely destroying an icon destroys the god, right?
[Eric snorts]
Brandon: I also flip over my raid-switch…
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: So that it is a…non-natural 20.
Eric: Alright. Even with a 20, you slice into the statue…
[metal clanging]
And it definitely cracks a little bit. Who would have thought the neck isn’t the most, uh, well put together part of the statue.
Brandon: I’m going to use my second attack.
Eric: [chuckling] Okay, do it.
[dice roll]
Brandon: 25 this time.
Eric: Yeah with a 25, you make another, [laughing] you make another crack in the Ze’ol neck. Stone, by the way, AC 17, so congratulations.
Brandon: And between swings, I say,
Brandon (as Tracey): [yells] Ze’ol?!
Brandon: Swing.
[thwack of metal]
Brandon (as Tracey): I’m going to take…!
Brandon: Swing.
[another thwack of metal]
Brandon (as Tracey): [exasperated, screams] YOUR HEAD!
Eric (as Ze'ol): [impressed] Hey! You made it very clear to me before, I can’t believe…
Brandon (as Tracey): [interjects, loudly] It’s going to be a trophy around my neck!!
Eric (as D'var): Excuse me. I don’t run meetings like this. People, you need to make an appointment with my assistant. Listen, time is something that we all can agree with. And time if is the thing that keep the entire life going forward. If you’d like to negotiate, we can negotiate.
Eric: And Alonzo is just looking around like,
Eric (as Alonzo): [calmly] Man…this is the weirdest chapel I’ve ever been in. A lot of things are weird, I mean, my life in general has been pretty weird lately, but this is pretty…this is pretty wild.
Brandon (as Tracey): Inara, Ze’ol is…is…this one’s assistant.
[Tracey snorts containing laughter]
Eric (as D'var): First of all, Ze’ol: terrible. Terrible assistant. Wouldn’t be good at it. But I have my own assistant! It’s more like, it’s more like we’re all in…if you think about it, you’re all interns for me.
Amanda (as Inara): [determined] Yeah, and you know that thing where, like, the people who are on the ground can tell when a business is about to fail way before the bosses can? Because we’re, I don’t know...actually working and producing something with our labor and we can tell you what’s going on down here? That’s what is happening right now.
[with purpose] We are at war. The world’s about to fall apart. We do not have time for fucking agendas. My agenda is saving the world, defeating the Council and then Ze’ol.
Eric (as D'var): And that’s fine. And we have, we have it on our agenda and we’re going to get to that! But first…
Amanda (as Inara): Well, bump it up lady.
Eric: [laughs] Make a…make an Intimidation roll against the god of living.
Amanda: Uh, that’s a non-natural 20.
Eric: Okay. She…I would say that she has high Persuasion. She’s a god.
[dice roll]
Alright. She also rolled a 20.
Amanda: Well…tie goes to the intimidator. That’s what I hear in capitalism.
Eric: [laughs] You see like the statue is like furrowing it’s brow at you, like,
Eric (as D'var): HEY! Security? Security! Can we get these people out of here?! Excuse me, can we just get them…is no one…? No one is coming?
Amanda: I pull the Pin of the Realm off my cloak and say,
Amanda (as Inara): [snarkily] I am your security, ma’am.
Eric (as Ze'ol): We can all resolve this. Even when something is created, we need to acknowledge its existence. [Pitchy squeal into words] I can’t just…I can’t just destroy something when the way that the world is working…
Amanda (as Inara): What do you need, a sacrifice?
Eric (as Ze'ol): [unsure sigh] Uh, YES. Yeah…I would like that. No! No…the way that we’re doing this. Listen…
Brandon (as Tracey): [aggressively] How about your head Ze’ol?
Eric (as Ze'ol): Ugh, I said. I’ll tussle right now! We’ll do it! Let’s take it up!
Brandon (as Tracey): [more aggressively] LET’S FUCKING GO!
Eric (as Ze'ol): LET’S GO, LET’S GO!!!
Eric: [laughing] Alonzo’s like,
Eric (as Alonzo): I hate this. I hate all of this so much. Listen, I had some time to read in here. I understand that everything is going terrible and the world is ending. Sometimes the only thing you can do is read the same you know, holy texts they have in the chapel that’s only close enough for you to reach to. I understand that it’s your three responsibilities to run the world. The creation, the living and the death. And obviously, if something wanted to change, that would be hard for you to deal with, right?
Eric: And all three of the gods just kind of like, go, [quietly] Hm. Yeah that’s right.
Amanda: Tracey and I exchange a loaded look, like…
Amanda (as Inara): Alonzo has never been this emotionally intelligent in his life. Kind of has made some real progress.
Eric (as Alonzo): Listen, hey…a lot of things have been happening to me lately guys.
Brandon: A lot of things happen when you’re chained to the ground for many years.
Amanda: I check on Brink and Chad. What are they doing?
Eric: [chuckling] Chad is confused. And Brink just feels like when there’s ethereal voices coming out of things. She just needs to be quiet.
Amanda: Smart. Good girl.
Eric: Uh…Adamah speaks up and is like,
Eric (as Adamah): That’s right! We gotta stay on track, there’s a schedule. It’s not…it’s not up to us if you all want to mess around and muck up reality as it is. We’re just here to maintain the things that’s happening.
Amanda (as Inara): But doesn’t that include eliminating a threat to the balance?!
Eric (as Adamah): Who says that he is threatening the balance?! He IS the balance.
Amanda (as Inara): The window out here!
Amanda: I gesture out over the rubble of the capital.
Eric (as D'var): Eh…reality is coming apart, time is fine. It’s fine…to us it’s fine. BUT.
Eric: Alonzo says,
Eric (as Alonzo): If you can do something for us, maybe it’ll push something a little bit into one favor? [confidently] I know there’s a way to do it. I know there is. There’s always a wager. If we wager something, will you let me out? Will you let us out and go…go deal with the guy…we’ll deal with whatever’s happening here. Is that okay?
Eric: Adamah comes back.
Eric (as Adamah): We need to have a conference.
Eric: And you hear all three of the gods, [laughing] huddle up in the Ethereal Plane, just like, mumbling and grumbling and mumbling.
Amanda: [uncomfortably] Again, are the statues moving or do we just sense this?
Eric: No, the statues aren’t moving. You hear the voices.
Amanda: Okay, good. Good. That would be creepy.
Eric: No that would be very creepy. And then eventually she goes,
Eric (as Adamah): [clears throat] Fine! If you three pass our three challenges, we’ll let the champion go and you can continue.
Brandon (as Tracey): What if we…what if we don’t want to play your game?
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, Ze’ol. Why don’t you come and join us in this compass right here?
Amanda: And I pull one out of my pocket.
[Ze’ol ehhs]
Amanda (as Inara): Come…Come battle us down in the Mortal Plane, see how you like it!
Brandon (as Tracey): There’s some rocks for you D’var! You love rocks!
Eric (as D'var): I do love rocks!
Amanda (as Inara): Adamah, I’m sure there’s like a really boring manual somewhere in this castle that you can really enjoy.
Brandon (as Tracey): Maybe a power suit in a different color? That you might want to inhabit?
Eric (as Adamah): Alright…okay. What a…well…
Amanda (as Inara): I’ve got this cool hat really regal, makes you look in charge.
Brandon (as Tracey): I’ve got this cool ax here that can go right into your neck there Ze’ol?
Eric (as Adamah): Okay! Hold on…alright. If we’re going to negotiate, let’s negotiate. Alright, D’var? Make it for me.
Eric: And then all of the sudden, a conference table just poofs in the middle of the room.
[table poofs into existence]
Amanda (as Inara): Okay, good. Now we can have a meeting?
Brandon (as Tracey): Snacks? [short pause] Any snacks, or…?
Amanda (as Inara): Oh, any snacks? Oh Tracey, thank you! I almost forgot. That would have torn us apart.
Brandon (as Tracey): Of course, how can I forget snacks?
Eric: And then…[snorts] a basket of bagels that pops on top of the…
[poofing of basket into existence]
Amanda: And then I grab Tracey’s arm.
Amanda (as Inara): We can’t eat it, unfortunately.
Brandon (as Tracey): [shouts] NOW IS…not is the time for bagels!!
Amanda (as Inara): How about I sacrifice my favorite thing in the world: bagels!
[Eric laughs]
Brandon (as Tracey): Bagels!
Eric (as Adamah): I’ve been watching you for a while now, watching you muck up around reality.
Brandon (as Tracey): [quietly] That’s creepy…
Eric (as Adamah): You two are a lot…there’s a lot happening here.
Amanda (as Inara): You know what we’re capable of then. So make me an offer that’s not insulting.
Eric (as Adamah): Okay…
Eric: The statue of Adamah has like, a very sleek handbag that she’s holding, and you see like the edge of stonework.
Amanda: [alarmed] It’s MOVING!? No!
Eric: Yeah. And you see that there is the medallion, it is no longer around Alonzo’s neck, you can see it is on this like, really sturdy chain and you see it spin just kind of lazily. Like not with any glowing or anything, but you can finally see it inert for the first time.
Eric (as Adamah): I understand you need this…you can have this. You can have the champion. Like, a great name. Branding…you always need branding. Have that, and we’ll let you go. Deal with the things that humans do.
If you win, and if you don’t…well. We’ll keep it the way it is, how’s that?
Eric: And Alonzo’s like,
Eric (as Alonzo): Mmm, I hate that. Can I not, do I have to…do I have to look at it? I’d rather not.
Brandon (as Tracey): No. Just close…close your eyes Alonzo, it’s fine.
Amanda (as Inara): you’re stronger than it. You proved that.
Eric (as Alonzo): True. Alright. [yelling determinedly] WE ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!
Amanda (as Inara): [unsure] Uh…I’m not quite sure we…?
Eric (as Alonzo): [confidently] I-I TAKE YOUR DEMANDS!!! ME AND MY FRIENDS BESIDE ME WILL TAKE IT!
[coming down] Sorry was that…was that not what I was supposed to do?
Brandon (as Tracey): Nah, nah it was great…
Amanda (as Inara): We typically don’t accept the first offer…
Eric (as Adamah): [excitedly] It’s a verbal agreement! You all heard it! I have two witnesses here on my side! Verbal agreement!
Eric: And you see that the floor that you’re standing on is starting to like smooth out. The edges of the lift that’s come in is just like smoothing out into white, to a white floor.
[crackling and creaking of the floor]
And if you look out the window, it’s like there’s a fog rolling in. You’re just going somewhere else. Someone is like, pulling a curtain over reality for the moment.
[distorted ethereal sound]
And everything, all of the white, all over this chapel, is getting like a little bit brighter and a little bit brighter. And you look back and you see that Chad and Brink are also like fading away, slowly, slowly into this fog. And Adamah says,
Eric (as Adamah): [loudly echoing] Alright. The regular rules. It’s our challenge. Handshake.
Eric: And you see the statue raises its hand, holds it out for someone to shake.
Eric (as Alonzo): Can I…can I shake it?
Brandon (as Tracey): You’re strapped to the ground…
Brandon: Tracey goes over and shakes the statue’s hand.
Eric: It’s a firm handshake. And a little too long.
Brandon: I’d assume…it’s stone.
Eric: A little too long too.
Amanda: Tracey, can your hand, can you hand just be limp?
Eric: [laughs] It’s just like a dead fish, a dead fish…
Brandon: I enchanté like a princess, yeah.
Amanda: Great, great.
Eric: Uh, and you see that his chains also fade away into that fog as well. And the gods of birth, living and death step forth from their statues.
[echoing steps reverberate, and fade]
[theme music]