Sometimes a family is a destructive gigabear, a museum, two costumed superheroes, one of their siblings, one uncostumed superhero, that guy’s friend, and an office that has a lot of powerful stuff in it. Val has a new phone who this. Milo swears everything is normal. Aggie knows a guy who knows about a hammer.
Housekeeping
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party...
Eric: Am I promoting winter holiday creep by singing these songs in November? But we have a winter D&D campaign, there needs to be like an excuse for that. Ugh, okay, fine. What happened on Join the Party was our merry band of powered folk braved the blizzard and made their way to the Modernism Museum to save Lucas and turn the power back on to the city. Along the way they had their car built into by the Giga Bear slowly inched around what seemed to be the gigaba in a different car, cleared a traffic stop and got in the face of Emily Slaughter and the Upcountry Keepers and saved a snowbound citizen all for the gram. At the museum, Milo threw off his costume to convince Lucas that he had no idea what was going on, while Aggie and Val, a.k.a. Preserver and Vulcani, square up against the Giga Bear who burst into the museum with anger and abandon. Welcome to the season finale of Join Me Outside. Let's get the party started.
[Theme music]
Eric:I don't know if you've been in a city during a blackout, but it is the absence of light that freaks you out. You spend so much time seeing lights, trying to use blinds to block it out when you're trying to sleep, the random street light that comes on, that goes right in between the cracks in those blinds, that goes right in your eye when you're trying to sleep. But in a city when there's a blackout, it's just nothing. And darkness is the absence of light. I mean, that's a science thing. I love science. We all love science. We know that.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: So but it's strange you feel the fact that there's nothing there and in a blizzard on top of that, you don't hear anything other than the whip of the wind cutting through every single snowflake like it's a shuriken in the sky. Unfortunately for Milo, Val and Aggie, or Vulcani, the Preserver and Milo.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: You also hear the growl of a 10 foot bear stepping towards you with the jacket of your beloved science mentor, slash teacher slash mayor in its claw. Let's roll for initiative.
Julia: Uhh.
Brandon: Ugggh.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Uh, Milo is Milo, so he can't roll for initiation so I guess he's out of the fight. So he's going to sit this one out.
Eric: Yeah, that's how it works.
Julia: I rolled a 7.
Eric: Wonderful.
Amanda: I got a dirty 20.
[Everyone ooo's]
Eric: Dirty 20!
Amanda and Julia: [In sync] Nasty 20!
Amanda: Awww Julia! Companions from the cradle.
Brandon: Your boy got a 17 +2 for a 19!
[Everyone cheers]
Eric: alright, cool.
Julia: This is boding well.
Amanda: For everyone but Val.
Brandon: It's not good when I roll well Julia that's not a good sign.
Julia: Mhm, mhm.
Eric: You don't want Brandon to start because there's a cascade of effects.
Julia: It's true, absolutely true.
Eric: alright. Incredible, alright. So Aggie, you are starting right now, Vulcani and the Preserver, you're right in front of Dr. Morrow's office. Milo is currently phasing through the door using gaseous form or going ghost, as it's colloquially known. You're face to face with the bear itself. To your right is the break room where Lucas is, theoretically, if he was a smart and obedient lad
Brandon: And he is!
Eric: And he is taking shelter. There's also the offices that Milo and Lucas work at. And the door from the alley that you came in from on your left between you and the bear is a door leading to the main area of the museum where you would have your first floor exhibits. Just like the general stuff like this is where the giant T-Rex skeleton goes, but not like the "oh, look at all this pyrite." It's like, oh, here's like some stuff to introduce, MMFFC. So you're going for
Julia: Every time it just gets worse.
Eric: No that's what it is this time!
Julia: No, I know just teasing.
Eric: And yeah, that is the orientation you're first. So right now the bear is bearing no pun intended, bearing down on you. It is growling and getting seriously close to a danger that you do not want a massive bear that is angry at you being that close to you.
Amanda: Yeah, so I'm going to take off my very sharp hat and throw it at the bear, this is the reversion of darts. So I'm going to make an attack.
Eric: Yeah, do it.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Does a 24 hit?
Eric: Yeah, that hits!
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: I got 4 points of damage, jeeze.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: And then I'll do my second attack.
Eric: Yep.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Does a 15 hit?
Eric: A 15 does not hit.
Amanda: Beans.
Eric: That's alright. That's 4 points of damage. I do like you're keeping your distance still, like oh!
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: In the forest. We were in the forest. You keep your distance from bear.
Amanda: Do I have the sense that there is something magical happening on this bear or is this bear a either natural or like bred predator?
Eric: Interesting. Yeah. Role a nature check for me.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Is it a science bear or a regular bear?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It's a bear wearing glasses.
Amanda: Cool, I got an 11.
Eric: Okay, so let's go over the stuff that Val discovered before when you looked at the bear the first time, the one that munched your truck and the bear that was standing in the road in your new car that you were driving around, those two bears are exactly the same. Those were the same bears. This bear is larger than the normal size of a black bear in upstate New York. You also don't know it to be this aggressive towards people.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Especially if Dr. Morrow was blasting off with her superpowered rocket skis. Why would it chase her? And then why is it here now if it hurt Dr. Morrow with the jacket and its claw? Like, what is it? What's happening here?
Amanda: Yeah, but it seems like this is just that this bear itself is like a different kind of creature, not like somebody has enchanted a regular bear.
Eric: I think with an 11 nature check, you just like "what is going on with this big bear?"
Julia: What is this bear's motivation.
Eric: This bear has some strange motivations. Right now, it's Dr. Morrow and it hasn't acted yet. So I think that although you hit it and I think that you would, like, take your hat off and toss it at the bear like a Frisbee, like a dangerous Frisbee and, like, blocks it merely with its hands. And it cuts it for 4 damage, which is not a lot to a giant bear. It's not even trying to attack you. It's just, like, pissed, like it hasn't acted yet, but it's like it's just angry.
Brandon: Do you think it had some like childhood trauma? That's not- that's gone untreated, you know?
Eric: Milo, we're going to have to figure that out on your turn, okay?
Amanda: And just to wrap up in true Amanda indie indie style, I'm just going to say to the bear
Amanda (as Aggie): Did we do something wrong? Can I help you?
[Brandon laughs]
[Eric roars]
Julia: With your emotional trauma bear!
Amanda: If we have something you want, just tell us. I know you're bear and all but like point?
Eric: t's just roars in your face again.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Alright. Let's go to Milo. It is your turn. So I think that since this happened right before initiative, unless you want to stay in gaseous form, you can just pop out of it and you can be a regular person.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Yeah, that's fine. So you're a regular person now standing in Dr. Morrow's office, Dr. Morrow's office, as you can imagine, is an eclectic mix of lots of stuff, like there's a chandelier in there, but also she has like there's like a White House style desk in there and there's a chandelier. But also there's like a lawn, there's lawn furniture in there. And there's a holographic window which is currently looking out into a very sunny sky.
Brandon: These are some choices Dr. Morrow made. Alright. Can I use investigation to see if I find the emergency turn on the power to the city switch?
Eric: Yeah, go ahead. You know she would have a giant emergency turn on the power turn on the city switch.
Brandon: I know. I mean, if you had the ability to do that, why would you not?
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Well, that's a 3.
Julia: Oh bud.
Eric: Okay, with 3, you're looking for a switch and there's no giant turn on the city power switch. She has a bookshelf and you throw open all the books and there's no, like, secret switch in there. You look under her desk, there's no switch. There's none of that.
Brandon: Hmm. It wouldn't be magic, right? It would just be a normal switch.
Eric: Yeah. Dr. Morrow doesn't deal in like magic magic, right. Like this is not a power- is not a super power switch. It's just like a big science switch.
Brandon: Yeah, I don't have detect science... So.
[Julia laughs]
Eric: If you did like magic, I'll let you do it, yeah, yeah. If that's what you want to do for action.
Brandon: Okay, yeah. I'm going to use detect magic parentheses (science magic)
Amanda: Science is magic when you think about it.
Julia: It really is.
Eric: What is your, what's your detective magic look like?
Brandon: I think nothing changes actually in the real world, but Milo's vision sort of like inverts in colors.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Love it.
Amanda: Cool!
Brandon: Everything goes like grayscale except for the if there is a magical item or a science item. Except for that.
Eric: I think it's great, yeah. I think that there is looking at her desk in the bottom left drawer in the big presidential desk, you see that there is a box that has like a few scattered magical science items in it.
Brandon: I'm going to rip open that drawer and open the box.
Eric: Yeah, I think in that drawer you see that there is a, like, an Army style lunch pail. It's just like that army green with the latch on it and throw it open. And you see that there's a keyring that has, you know, like a clicker on a car. There are three of those and one is tagged red, one is tagged yellow and one is tagged blue.
Amanda: Eric, why do you do this to us?
Eric: Also inside of the lock box there is a locket, it is more it's a simple locket. It's ovular, not ornate. It's very, very simple and a simple gold chain. And there is an ID card for the Office of Technology Assessment.
Amanda: Oh, shit.
Eric: That says Cassandra Morrow, it was issued in 1985. And Dr. Morrow looks the same.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, that'll do it.
Eric: It's almost like the gray streak in her hair is like a little less pronounced. But other than that, she looks exactly the same.
Brandon: I just look at the car and I'm like,
Brandon (as Milo): Dang. Alright.
Eric: Well, alright. I'm going to we'll come back to you, Milo. I think that with all that stuff. That is your turn.
Brandon: Eric, before we move on, that was a spell that I just cast.
Eric: Thank you, alright roll on it. Listen. We're shooting for not a five, not a five or below.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Well, that's a 3.
[Everyone cheers]
Eric: Let's goooo! Let's reset you Brando and let's have Amanda, while Brandon's resetting, why don't you roll one d10 for me.
Amanda: Oh! Okay.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 7.
Julia: Here come the hehehehs
Eric: Oh okay, this is interesting.
Amanda: Is that better or worse than the "he he he?"
Eric: Brandon, please roll one d10 for me.
Julia: Uh oh.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Oh 10!
Eric: Oh okay! So I like the idea that your vision is still stays in grayscale. It's like you, you have your sunglasses on inside and it doesn't adjust yet. So while you maybe you keep this vision on for a little while longer while you're looking over this keychain and then you see that the hand in the middle of your chest, if you were looking at heat vision and then like a creature comes into the frame and all of a sudden it's like red and green and yellow and like, "what is this? I can't I can't tell it's a cat?" But it's definitely hot. So then the the arm in your chest reaches out and it's also looking it's also like scanning for things and then it twists it's wrist like it's grabbing something and closes its hand. And Milo, you heal for up to 40 points of damage.
Julia and Amanda: Wooaaah!
Brandon: Oh good! That is helpful.
Eric: So I assume this fills you up all the way, right?
Brandon: Yes, it does, I'm up to-
Eric: Alright, so you're back. You also see, though, as you feel energized, it's like the hand is grabbing something out of the air and you see, like little poles of spirit coming from various directions around the room. And Aggie and Val, man, I don't know if you were outside for too long, but you just like or it's like the energy, the adrenaline is coming out of there,
Julia: You bastard.
Amanda: Bastard.
Eric: And a Val and Aggie, each of you take 10 points of necrotic damage.
Amanda: Delicious.
Eric: It's really hard. We're doing athletic stuff in the cold.
Brandon: Does the bear also take necrotic damage?
Eric: Ummm.
Brandon: I think so.
Eric: Roll an arcana check for that bud.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Fuck. 6.
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: I don't- man I bear is strong huh?
Amanda: This really is the attitude with which I approach nature. I'm just like "an that ducks majestic, man that squirrel's doing its thing. Man that bird is so cool."
Brandon: Man that squirrel is really strong.
Eric: That squirrel is just kicking so many butts.
Amanda: It's running up. Amazing!
Eric: It's wild. Alright. It is now the bears turn.
Julia: Yeah, feels right.
Amanda: Eric, can we just skip this part?
Eric: So the bear is going to rumble forward and it roars at Preserver when you ask if it's doing okay, and it's going to bite ya!
[Dice rolls]
Eric: 22 that hits.
Brandon: But it's a love bite.
Eric: So just like a really nice really nice bite.
Brandon: So it heals The Preserver.
Eric: Okay, you take 13s of damage.
Amanda: I have 7 hit points, family.
Brandon: Oof.
Eric: Preserver. You're also stuck in the bear's mouth. You are currently grappled. So it has you look like it's carrying its cub.
Amanda: I'm sorry?
Eric: It is like it has you in its mouth but then it doesn't approach Vulcani, it turns to its left. It is looking at the wall in between it and the main area, and it starts swiping at it with its claws, massive bear paws and claws. Alright, with the Preserver in its mouth, it turns to its left and just slams into the wall, one with one, paw, on onto the other paw. And it just burst a hole into the main area, into the lobby on the first floor. Hey, Aggie, you know, that's probably bad for buildings.
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda: It is! A building like this would have a lot of structural support, and probably just a partition wall for the hallway would not be like structurally important, but it's not good.
Eric: It's not good.
Julia: It's not good.
Eric: It isn't good. Do with that information what you will.
Amanda: I'm currently in a bear mouth with 7 HP, so I will file it away for later contemplation.
Eric: Yeah. Of a bear then takes a step through the hole it just made in the wall and runs into- I don't know does a bear gallop? Gallops into the main area. Vulcani, you see the door to the break room open and you see Lucas' pokes his head out, and he says
Eric (as Lucas): Hey, uh just want to check in. Was that was that an explosion? What was- alright, is everything okay?
Julia (as Val): It was a giant bear. Why don't you go back into the break room?
Eric (as Lucas): Oh, it was a giant bear. Okay!
Eric: And Lucas closes the door.
Julia (as Val): Great. Barricade yourself in there. But like chairs and stuff, if you're able to move the soda machine, maybe put it in front of the door.
Eric: Lucas says,
Eric (as Lucas): I'm not able to move the soda machine, but I can throw all of these plastic chairs in front of the door.
Julia (as Val): Great. It's probably not going to do much, but it'll do somethin' . So
Eric (as Lucas): I'll do something, okay, thank you!
Eric: Alright. We are now on Vulcani.
Julia: So this thing is like looking for something. Otherwise it would have attacked me.
Brandon: [Menacingly] Blood.
Julia: Well, thank you Brandon.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: I should probably get you out of its mouth, huh Amanda?
Amanda: That would be great.
Julia: Okay, cool. So I'm going to go and I think rather than taking my attack actions, I think I'm going to try and just like pry the bear's mouth open.
Eric: Hell yeah!
Julia: Cool. Bonus action to go into a rage, and then I will do that.
Eric: Wonderful. So yeah, you're going to follow it into the main area?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: So as you run in the main area, it sounds like they're gearing up for some sort of anniversary for Dr. Morrow. There's a banner that says "Happy" and then big space "anniversary Dr. Morrow!"
Brandon: Morrow-versary.
Eric: It's a Morrow-versary! They should change- they need to change that banner. It seems like there are some interactive displays here and also very flashy ones. So there's like a replica of the city right in the middle. That's like one hundredth of the size. I know that that's not actually what it is, but like it's like one thousandth of the size. There's also like a giant sandbox. And it seems like there's this big, like, hive looking thing over to the left.
Julia: [Trying not to laugh] Can I make an investigation check to see if the bear is looking to get the honey out of the hive?
Eric: It is not it's not an actual bee hive.
Julia: The bear doesn't know that the bear's intelligence probably isn't that high.
Eric: If you want to if you want to do an investigation to see if the bear is looking for something you can.
Julia: Yeah. It's not going to cost me anything, it's a free action.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Well, it's technically a 0.
Eric: Well, that bear thinks that hive is full of honey, so it must be going after the hive.
Julia: Okay, it makes sense. Thank you. Alright. I'm going to just try to pry open this bear jaw of like a circus performer.
Eric: I love that. Alright. So I guess we're going to do a strength competition against each other.
Julia: Cool, I get advantage on those.
Eric: Uh oh, for me.
Julia: Alright, here we go.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Okay, so I rolled a 19, but then I rolled a 17 +6 so a 23.
Eric: Great, yeah, Vulcani gets their lava gauntlets in between the bear's jaws and you're pulling at it to let the Preserver out and you open it enough that the Preserver is able to slip out and you tumble to the floor. Amanda, you're no longer grappled. And I think that you you have your hands on the bear right now, Julia, so you can do whatever you like.
Julia: Can I take an attack?
Eric: Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Julia: Oh, great, awesome!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: So that's an 18 +6.
Eric: Yeah that hits, that hits yeah.
Julia: Okay, great, great, great. So let me roll my two d6.
[Dice roll]
Julia: Okay, so it's 7 +2 is 9 +3 is 12.
Eric: Bang! Alright yeah a 12. I like the idea of maybe there's still some hot heat left in the gauntlets and you're scorching the bear's face.
Julia: Yeah!
Amanda: Aw.
Julia: Well I feel a little bad but not that bad.
Eric: It growls and tries to swipe at you with its big bear claws because it does not like having a hot face.
Julia (as Val): Hey, don't eat, my friend.
Eric: Hey, hey, don't do that. Alright. At the bottom of the initiative, you hear banging on the front door of the museum.
Julia: Quinn no, Quinn.
Eric: Quinn's like
Eric (as Quinn): [Muffled through the door and echoing] Hey, can you let me in? The front door is locked!
Eric: Then bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Eric (as Quinn): I got a really good spot for the car! It's like three blocks away and not close enough so that there will be that much damage from the museum, but we won't have to walk so far when we're done.
Julia (as Val): I mean, that is a good parking job.
Amanda (as Aggie): Quinn, it's dangerous.
Eric (as Quinn): Okay, if you can't let me in, I'll find another way around.
Julia (as Val): It's not what we meant!
Eric: And you hear thump thump thump thump.
Brandon: Oh, God.
Eric: We are back to Aggie's turn.
Amanda: Okay, first, as I tumble out of the bear's mouth, I'm going to kind of like clutch my own sides. Like I have a stitch and have little orange kind of sparkles come out of my fingers as I heal myself.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: So cute.
Brandon: Glitter heal!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Oh 6. So I got 12 +2 for 14
Brandon: Nice.
Julia: Yes!! Good heal baybeee!
Eric: Wonderful, yeah. I like the idea that there was like teeth imprints from the bear having you in its mouth and you wave your hand over and it's like gone.
Amanda: And then I'm going to yell so that hopefully Milo can hear me through the door as well.
Amanda (as Aggie): I don't think all this wall breaking is good for you know, structure. So Milo, figure out that switch and then Vulcani, we got to get out of here.
Amanda: But I also want to let Quinn in.
Eric: You can get up and go over to the door, but you won't have a full action because you healed yourself, unless-
Amanda: I mean opening a door is a free action. Right?
Brandon: Well, it's as if it's a normal door. I think it's a free action.
Eric: It is normal. Yes, it is a normal door. Yeah. You can still have your movement so you can get up and just open the door. It's just the front door to a museum.
Amanda: Yeah now that I am no longer bleeding from the sides, I'm just going to get up a stumble a few feet forward and unlock the deadbolt to open the door and say,
Amanda (as Aggie): Quinn just just come in.
Eric (as Quinn): No I got it! [Eric makes more sticky thumping noises]
Amanda (as Aggie): This building might be going down and there's a giant bear inside! FYI.
Eric (as Quinn): Oh, hell yeah! [more thumping]
Amanda (as Aggie): Can you rescue our friend Lucas from the break room?
Eric (as Quinn): Yeah. Where's the break room?
Amanda (as Aggie): Back middle!
Eric (as Quinn): Got it!
Amanda (as Aggie): It's the end of the hallway when you come in the side door.
Eric (as Quinn): I heard you the first time. I got it! It's fine, I got it!
Julia: Val goes
Julia (as Val): That's a good mission to give her. Excellent job. Great delegating.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thanks Vulcani.
Amanda: I whisper as I then slump against the door.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Incredible. Alright. It is now Milo's turn. So you are now holding the key ring with the three key fobs, one red, one yellow and blue. You also have the locket and the ID card, which are still in the lock box.
Brandon: How far am I from the bear?
Eric: The bear is pretty far from you. I mean, you're all the way in the back of the museum and this is all the way in the front. So enough that, like, when you go back to your offices, you're not worried about going, "ugh, everyone's the worst!" And people hearing you in the main are if you were in your office, for example.
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: I would know what's in the main area. Right? Like what? Little exhibit things.
Eric: Yes, you would!
Brandon: What's in there? Non temporary stuff from the anniversary.
Eric: Make a history check for me.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 10.
Eric: Okay, with a 10, you know, there's the big replica of the city in there, which is cool because it has like working electricity and stuff, which is really cool. There's also a bigger version of the do you remember back in Dr. Morrows office, which she called it the Golem box, it looked like a little sandbox and you were able to shape things out of the sandbox. There's not like a bigger version of that, which is really cool. And the big fly Jeff Goldblum thing that you saw the ghost in, you thought it was going to get put out there, but you're not sure if it is actually in there or still in storage, which is the storage room, which is to the right of the museum.
Amanda: Julia just made the most fantastic face.
Eric: Hey, I don't think Val has seen the Fly, so I would describe that as a beehive.
Brandon: Would there be an equivalent of, like, dinosaur bones in this museum?
Julia: Are you going to try to reanimate a dinosaur, you son of a bitch?
Brandon: Absolutely Julia.
[Blows a raspberry] Let me roll on that.
Julia: Roll a luck check to see if there's a dinosaur in the museum somewhere.
Brandon: Like maybe there's like a robot or something that like like an early version of a robot that Dr. Morrow made. Or maybe there's like-
Eric: Yeah, no, that's a grea idea, no that's a really interesting idea. So, there wouldn't be any organic material, no, because it's not a natural history museum, but if you are putting out things from Dr. Morrow's, just General Times, if you looked in this, maybe in the storage area, there would be some old robot stuff that she was getting into. There was a whole thing in her biography that she got like super into robots when the movie iRobot came out. And she's like, "that's not how it works!!" And she had to, she was trying to prove that. So there might be some stuff in the storage area for sure.
Brandon: Would I be within 40 feet, 30 to 40 feet of the storage room if I just ran there?
Eric: Yeah, if you ran around.
Julia: Because it's the one that's right next door to where you are currently right?
Eric: Yes, it is. It is the room that's right next to you.
Brandon: Okay, so I think what I'm going to do is I think Milo, at this point hears Aggie yelling at him and everyone to get out. And I think he's realizing that they're in danger, so I'm going to run from Dr. Morrow's office to a storage room and look for the robot, I need like big bulky robot.
Eric: Okay, so you you throw open the door to Dr. Morrow's office and you run by, and you go into the storage room. In the storage room, there's a bunch of just like random junk in there, things that you're going to put out there but didn't work. It's kind of just like also the place where all of the employees store stuff that they don't want to deal with and put downstairs, because there's also heavy stuff in there.
Brandon: Like a pile of Lucas's Switch cartridge boxes.
Eric: Yeah, there's a lot of Lucas orders, all of his Amazon boxes.
Amanda: A lot of joycons that got sent to the graveyard.
Eric: Things that Lucas was supposed to mail and then just put in the storage room. So in there you do see that there's this, like, bulky and blocky robot. It's like a child drew a robot. But this came to life. It just built out of rectangles. So it's like the torso is rectangular, there are like little buttons on it that are rectangular, its head is square with like rectangular eyes, a little mouth and little claw grip hands and like very rigid, like there are no knees on these legs. And like the feet are like, oh, I can't draw feet. Let me just put a box on there. So it's just a blocky robot that's currently powered down and still has a smile plastered on its face. Also in there you see there is the Jeff Goldblum Hive thing that you thought was going to get put out, but I guess it just didn't happen yet.
Amanda: The one the spirit was in?
Eric: The one that the ghost was in, correct.
Amanda: Ooo.
Brandon: Well, I think that's interesting, but Milo wouldn't because he'd be like, oh I guess they haven't put that out yet. But I am going to cast animate dead on this robot friend.
Amanda: Yes!
Eric: Incredible ah yeah. Let me bring up zombie stats and let's do it.
Brandon: So Milo cast the spell and if you were in the room with Milo you would see a soul like a black, purple and dark green sort of soul flow from his chest into the robot friend, and it comes to life.
Eric: Incredible, alright yeah. For those of you playing at home, we're going to turn this robot the stats of it is just regular zombie, but the robot whirrs to life and goes do-do-do
Eric (as Robot): [With a robotic and static voice] Hello, I am your good friend Beep-Boop. That is my name. Do you want to learn about robots?
Brandon (as Milo): I always thought robots didn't go beep boop. That's weird. I don't want to learn about robots, but can you go fight the bear out there please?
Eric (as Beep-Boop): Oh, Friend, can you please point me in the direction of the bear?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah. So if you go straight and then you'll see a big hole in the wall, go through that hole and then you'll see the bear and you don't have to like, kill it, please don't kill it. But like try to, like, restrain it or or at least like quiet it somehow.
Eric (as Beep-Boop): Absolutely. I'll work on it. After that, we'll talk about how Dr. Morrow really invented the three laws of robotics, and Isaac Asimov is a big cheater.
Brandon (as Milo): And the secret fourth law!
Eric (as Beep-Boop): The secret fourth law is "Be cool"
Julia: Nice!
Eric: Roll initiative for the for the robot Brando, for your good friend Beep-Boop.
Brandon: Is there any additions to it or is it straight?
Eric: It's negative 2.
Julia: It's extra sad, aww.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: That's 15.
Eric (as Beep-Boop): My legs don't have knees.
Eric: Okay, yeah! I'm going to say that your action. Are you carrying the lockbox?
Brandon: Yeah. Everything in the room I just took with me.
Eric: Cool is the bear's turn now. It is going to attack our good friend Vulcani with its big mouth because it did not like having singed face.
Julia: Checks out.
Eric: I assume a 26 hits?
Julia: Mmmm, yeah I guess.
Eric: Yeah, yerp.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: You take 10 points of piercing damage which I assume is halved?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: And now you are now caught in the in the jaws of the bear. The bear has you by the by your leather jacket and is dragging you along.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: It runs to the far wall, which is behind the hive thing, and it is going to smash at that wall now.
Julia: By the stairs?
Eric: This is the wall in between this main area and the break room.
Julia: Oh, God, Lucas.
Eric: And let's do a contest, Val, strength contest.
Julia: Alright.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Thank God for advantage. 15 +6 for a 21.
Eric: Alright, I got 17 +6.
Julia: Aw fuck-
Eric: So here's what happens. So this bear jaws you and grabs you in it's giant mouth. It smells terrible. You feel it's hot breath go running down the nape of your neck as it's like separating your jacket from your body.
Julia: How dare you?
Eric: And it runs over to the wall in between here in the break room and first try to smash it with its hands, with its claws and its paws. And it doesn't really seem like it's doing the job. So instead it smashes you, it whips its neck back, throws you against the wall, and you burst through the wall. Now with the rubble and dust surrounding you and you are covered in now chairs and looking up at Lucas, who says,
Eric (as Lucas): I did- I was just blocking the door. I didn't know I had to go block the other walls too?!
Julia (as Val): Yeah, well, neither did I, ow.
Eric: Val you take another 15 points of bludgeoning damage, but you halve that to 7.
Julia: Not doing too hot, guys. Not doing too hot.
Eric: Hey, Aggie. Two walls have been destroyed.
Amanda: That sounds manageable in this setting.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It's now the robots turn the robot, like, does a salute to Milo. It starts, like, straight allegedly trying to run towards the bear. Milo, you see it run towards the hole in the wall and it's about to jump through. And then you see, like, something zooms into its field of vision and, like, hits it in the head.
Brandon: What?
Amanda: No!!
Eric: It's like a child being hit by a drone.
[Julia laughing]
Brandon: Oh, you know, that common occurrence on a child gets hit by a drone.
Eric: You should be watching more YouTube videos. It happens more than you think it does. And Milo, you're looking at this thing and it's perfectly round. I don't know if you've ever seen a picture of a Bob-om from the Mario series. Yeah, but this is perfectly round, but has these, like, very vacant drawn on eyes and very cartoonish feet, but there's very detailed dragon wings. It has like veins and stuff in it.
Brandon: It's like someone spent a little bit too much time on the wings and not enough on the body.
Eric: And not enough in the eyes and the feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's, like, "I want to make this a circle, and I also wanted to have sick wings!" So it flies right into the robot and they're like
Eric (as Beep-Boop): Danger danger drone in area everyone, all public, please move out of the way.
Eric: And this flying drone thing is just slamming into it. Also at this point I went, I want Aggie to make a perception check.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I only got a 10, but this does fall into my proficiency of superpower, so I should get more detail on this perception check than average.
Eric: Okay, yeah, so I think that you hear this slam and you're looking around for it. I'll give you yeah, if you want to use your your superpower, you can do it. This is a really old building. This must have been one of the first buildings that were built in Lake Town City. I don't know if it started out as a museum or like this first floor used to be like a kiwanis lodge or something and then it got, like, added on to. This is a really old building that's been there when it was still Laketon. If four or five walls get destroyed and then only with a 10, I can't tell you if it's four or five, this thing is coming down.
[Transition note]
Eric: Hey, it’s Eric. Amanda made me a bunch of chili and it’s really all I can think about right now, and I really wanna eat it, and it’s very delicious. So I’m just giving thanks for people who make food for other people. Which is kinda the core for good relationships that I find all over the place, and holidays and everything as we get closer to Thanksgiving, the holiday that is truly all about making tonnes of food for other people, and being around them when you can’t do the latter so at least I hope you’re cooking something super fun. Or really weird. And maybe it’s huge and delicious, I just hope you’re still doing something special. Welcome to the midroll, it’s a vegan chili so it has carrots but it’s still delicious!
Welcome to the newest members of our Patreon crew: Kimmie, Nicola, Ki and Shelby!
Thank you! You make it possible for this to be our jobs, especially in a year as tumultuous as this one. If you’re able to chip in, we want you to be a part of our community too! Today is a great day to join us for as little as $5 a month at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. Enjoy access to our thriving JTP Discord chat forum, bonus content from Campaigns 1 and 2, and so much more, at patreon.com/jointhepartypod
And if you haven’t checked your patreon in a while, do so! We made new tiers a while ago and a lot of you are still on the old ones, so you’re not getting those sweet rewards!
I’m so excited to tell you about something I wrote with Julia in a special JTP x Spirits crossover event: The Cool Cryptid Compendium, a system neutral manual with stats and descriptions of 20 different creatures from folklore around the world. D&D is built around monster slaying, but a lot of the time… you don’t want to kill the monster. What even makes something a “monster” in the first place? Why should we build our adventures around killing it for glory and gold? So in the Cool Cryptid Compendium, these creatures are more like strange and wondrous NPCs to dot your world. They have likes and dislikes, personality traits, and goals. They are complex and require more than hacking and slashing to interact with them. So no matter what game system you use, you’ll get inspiration for characters that are way more than just a big bad. It’s also beautiful, with illustration and design by Zoe Polando Ryder. All of our physical merch is on sale too, but mostly go to the shop to see how gorgeous this manual is. That’s all at jointhepartypod.com/merch
We’d love to welcome a new sponsor to the show: Awesome Dice. This is a fantastic dice shop with new sets added every month. They have dice sets, dice bags, a clearance section, and mystery boxes of dice too. They even recommend different sets of dice for the various D&D classes, so if you’re someone who likes to have different sets for different characters, you have to check it out. Their core belief is that the best part of any adventure is the friends that we make along the way, and the dice are pretty beautiful too. Head over to awesomedice.com, and use code jointheparty at checkout for a limited-time discount of 15% off your order. That’s awesomedice.com, code jointheparty.
We are also sponsored by BetterHelp, a secure online counseling service. They connect you with licensed counselors through their secure app, letting you message with your therapist and schedule live phone or video sessions. You can also message your counselor in between sessions if you’re worrying about something or think of a topic you want to cover in your next call. Because BetterHelp wants to help you find the best therapeutic match possible, it’s easy and free to switch counselors if need be. And BetterHelp is also more affordable than traditional counseling, with financial aid also available. You can get 10% off your first month of counseling by signing up at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That’s better h-e-l-p . com / jointheparty for 10% off your first month. Better h-e-l-p . com / jointheparty.
Finally, we are also sponsored by Hero Forge. Hero Forge offers fully customizable tabletop miniatures. with dozens of fantasy races and thousands of parts to choose from. And now they have full-color minis, too! We love our minis and we know you’ll love yours as well. So visit HeroForge.com to start designing your custom miniature today, and check back often: new content is added every week. That’s heroforge.com.
And now, back to the show!
[Transition note]
Eric: Alright, this is Lucas's turn, Lucas is like
Eric (as Lucas): Uhh Vulcani, I didn't catch your name. What's your name again?
Julia (as Val): Vulcani, you got it right.
Eric (as Lucas): Okay, Volcano uh what do-
Julia (as Val): No-
Eric (as Lucas): What do I do? What do I do? Is Milo okay? Did you see Milo?
Julia (as Val): Citizen Milo Lane is fine. Just go out into the hallway, someone is going to come get you.
Eric (as Lucas): Okay!
Julia (as Val): A very attractive someone.
Eric (as Lucas): Okay, neato! Alright. I'll definitely do that. Hell yeah dog. Let's do that.
Eric: You see him run out of the break room and run towards the side door.
Julia: Good.
Eric: So Lucas runs out of the break room, and now Milo. Yeah, you see, Lucas is heading towards the side door and he stops in front of the door. And he's not looking good. Either he's rattled or whatever made you feel better? You did some stuff, he's not looking good.So he's like,
Eric (as Lucas): What is hap- are you what is how are you okay? Is this a comic book? Are we in a comic book? You need to tell me if we are.
Brandon (as Milo): I think we might might be.
Brandon: But we also did not do a spiritual surge role for my last one.
Julia: Jesus, Brandon!
Brandon: I gotta play the game.
Julia: Do you have homework this weekend too?
Eric: Yeah roll it.
[Dice roll]
Brandon: It's a 6, no worries.
Eric: Yeah, it's fine, alright, you're up to 2. Lucas also then stops in front of you and says,
Eric (as Lucas): Milo. I need you to be honest with me. Do you know what's going on?
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, we're in the museum, there is apparently a bear and-
Eric: Lucas punches you in the side of your arm is like
Eric (as Lucas): Milo, you know what I mean. Do you know what's going on?
Brandon (as Milo): What do you mean? I don't know. What?! What are you referring to?
Eric (as Lucas): Okay.
Eric: And he continues towards the side door.
Julia: Lucas will remember that.
Brandon: I'm going to follow after him like I have to leave the room.
Amanda: And we thought the stormtrooper was the biggest threat to the friendship.
Eric: Well we'll make a note of that. We'll do that in your turn. Okay, Val, do you have your phone on you?
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: Val, you get a text message from a number. You don't recognize it. It says
Eric (as text message): If you need help. Say yes.
Brandon: If not, reply stop.
Julia: Is that going to count as an action if I say yes?
Eric: No, that's fine.
Julia (as Val): I mean, yeah!
Eric: They text you back a peace emoji, and then the spaghetti and meatballs emoji.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Oh now my palms are sweating!
Eric: Milo you see that the door to the side door is thrown open and Quinn, wearing her domino mask like drops down from above the door and like lands in front of the side door. And she says,
Eric (as Quinn): Okay, who needs saving? And Lucas says,
Eric (as Lucas): Oh, I if you have any time, I really like it-
Brandon (as Milo): We both do!
Eric: Make a charisma check for me, Brandon.
Julia: Oh, God, Quinn don't say don't say anything. Dear God.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 15 -1 for 14.
Julia: Okay, that's really good.
Eric: I think Quinn like takes a beat like looks at you and is like
Eric (as Quinn): Alright, I guess I'm saving two people today! Let's get out of here!
Eric: And she leads you out into the alleyway. It's not snowing anymore, but it's still really, really cold.
Brandon: Okay, we hold each other tightly for warmth.
Julia: Yes, smart.
Eric: Weird. Vulcani, let's go.
Julia: I'm no longer grappled because the bear threw me right?
Eric: Yes, you are no longer grappled.
Julia: Great. I'm going to just take normal attacks on this thing.
Eric: Let's go.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Alright. 18 +6.
Eric: That hits.
Julia: Great.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: 16 +6
Eric: Yeah that hits.
Julia: Two d6 bludgeoning and then two d6 fire, okay,
[Dice rolling]
Julia: So that is 15 on the first attack, 16 on the second attack.
Eric: Let's go!! Yeah. What does that look like?
Julia: You know, in that Mission Impossible movie where the guy just kind of like cocks his fists.
Eric: Yeah. How are you reloads his fists. Yeah, absolutely.
Julia: It's that except that they glow with fire because the fire gauntlets are on and Val just kind of like hops up on one of the plastic chairs that Lucas had thrown around the room and kind of does like a Superman punch down twice
Eric: Hell yeah dog!
Amanda: Brandon we shouldn't attack. Ever.
Brandon: I mean, I'm not I'm running away like a coward.
Julia: And then I'd like to take my bonus action and do my battle rager armor.
Eric: Yeah, absolutely.
Julia: Cool.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: It's a 13 +6.
Eric: That hits!
Julia: Great one d4 piercing plus one d6 fire +3 strength.
Eric: Do it.
Julia: Alright, it's a 4 great.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: The 6 is a 2 so 6 damage +3. So that is an additional 9 damage.
Eric: Great.
Julia: And that's just a shoulder tackle into the bear with the spiked armor.
Eric: Hell yeah, I love that.
Julia: Also lights on fire because I get fire damage for all my melee attacks.
Brandon: Nice!
Eric: Incredible. I like the idea that the bear threw you through a wall. It's very superheroic, and with all like the dust and debris you get up and you're like, "it's fire time." And then you're like, BAP BAP!
Brandon: But we'll work on the catchphrase later.
Eric: Yeah. Alright, let's come all the way back around, and Aggie, it's your turn. So the bear is looking pretty messed up. I don't know if you're fighting a bear. It's, like, cut in places. It's fur is singed from tussling with Vulcani. It's not having a good time, but it is still visibly angry. You are now, Aggie. You're in front of the front door.
Amanda: Yeah, I am going to run over to the sandbox because I remember the smaller one from Dr. Morrows house, and do I sense like power here? Like, is this a functioning model?
Eric: Yeah, I think you run over there. There is a little placard on it and it says, "this is the golden box. It's like a sandbox, but it's alive. Make whatever you want and then it comes alive. But make sure it's touching the sand reservoir or then it won't be alive anymore. It makes sense!"
Julia: Amazing.
Eric: Dr. Morrow wrote that placard.
Julia: Checks out.
Amanda: I'm gonna crouch down and make a kind of sand sculpture in like vaguely the shape of a horse, like four limbs on a like a long, strong back, like a cute little head, as if it's like a robot who's, like, kneeling with its hands on the floor like a kid to ride it's back.
Eric: I like that. It's a drawing of a horse.
Amanda: Yes, but the point is that I am making a support beam for the building. So I would like ideally for this golem to sort of support the upper floors of the museum by expanding that gap in the wall until the fire department can come. Like, picture the Golem, like, lays in the hole in the wall and then raises up on its knees and hands and then it's back can support that beam.
Eric: Oh, that's really interesting. That's really cool. Yeah. Why don't you do sleight of hand and I'll give you advantage because you know how to build a structure?
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 15.
Eric: Yeah, you take this like it's just mud and sand somewhere between it smells like alive, not like the beach or like dirt closer to soil. How it's like something can grow here. It smells like it's alive. And I think you just shape it into the biggest thing that you can like. You're making a sandcastle, but you just start by just making it into a big pile of stuff. Eventually you get to do a pile that's nearly your size. And then this pile, like a one leg, kicks out of the pile and another leg kicks out of the pile. And this big mound with feet walks over to the hole in the wall that was originally made by the bear, the one that connected the back room to the main area, carolling this like sand, mud behind it. It walks over to the hole and like tries to push its whole bulk up against the sides.
Amanda: Awesome. I'm going to lay a hand on, like, the sand mud that remains in the box. And I say,
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you so much. I'm sending some reinforcements.
Eric: The mound almost imperceptibly, like nods at you, but without a head so it just, like, bends a little bit at its theoretical waist and and tries to hold that wall. I'm going to have the Golem will work on Aggie's initiative and I'll roll for strength to hold it up if shit starts to break that.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Okay, and then just to end my turn, I'm going to yell to you while Vulcani, I'm trying something with the building, but you got to get out of here.
Julia (as Val): I'm doing my best. I got to beat a bear first.
Eric: [Laughs] I have to punch a bear. You know, regular things.
Amanda: Is texting a free action?
Eric: Yeah, you can text! Okay, I am going to text one of my best friends from city council who is the city structural engineer who, like, approves building plan.
Julia: Adorable.
Eric: I like this. We are taking Julia's real world husband, and in this world, Jake works in Lake Town City because he was able to get better housing. So Jake and Julia live in LTC love it.
Julia: That's true.
Amanda: What a great crossover event.
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: I'm going to text him S.O.S MMFFC sustained structural damage in the blizzard. I need support right now.
Eric: Wonderful. Alright. Well, we'll see when he gets back to you for sure. You actually- no it's Jake.
Julia: It's immediate.
Eric: Yeah, immediately. Yeah, I gotta to do an impression of Jake on this podcast it's incredible. Don't worry. He sounds just like all of the other Italians.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Rip.
Eric (as Jake): Structural integrity? Aww they should've fixed the thing a while ago. It's been there since- ahhh I'll be there.
Brandon: Wow. I thought Jake was in the room for a second.
Amanda: Staggering.
Eric: Incredible. Alright.
Julia: Are you sure we're not married, Eric?
Eric: I mean, if all goes well, Hitomi, you never know. Let's go to Milo. So, Milo, you're now outside in the cold. It is you, Quinn and Lucas, who are standing in the alley and Lucas is shaking and cold. He's he's not wearing his jacket or anything and everyone standing outside. So Quinn is just like,
Eric (as Quinn): okay, so. I guess the saving part we should get out of here, huh?
Eric: She's like she looks at you, Milo, like "uhh what do we do."
Brandon: Can I do a, I guess, perception maybe? To see if there's any like- because we still don't know the origin of that drone yet, right?
Eric: No, you don't.
Brandon: Can I see anything like I don't know, maybe maybe whatever threw that drone has, like a car and parked that outside or something, you know.
Eric: Yeah, do a perception check on what's going on with that drone.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: [Singing] 7 +7 for 14!
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: Doot doot!
Eric: Yeah, Milo, you're looking around trying to look inconspicuous, I assume.
Brandon: You know, I'm like looking around like, what the fuck is happening?
Eric: I thought you were like whistling and being like, I'm not powered. It's okay now. Like whistling.
Brandon: Yeah it's a better cover than like, cool.
Eric: Yeah. You're looking around trying to figure out what to do next.
I think that you hear heavy wings flapping and he's like,
Eric (as Lucas): Wait a second. I know that sound effect, that's the sound that they do on all dragons and all fantasy shows. That's- what?!
Eric: You look up and you see two more of those drones, those circular things with the dragon wings circling around the roof like they're vultures or something. And Milo you know that there is a skylight up there.
Brandon: Okay, I'm going to turn to my friends here and say,
Brandon (as Milo): Look, I don't know what's happening. Person? Domino mask, I'm- hi, I'm Milo, can you take Lucas here to safety? And Lucas, I gotta, I got these things up there. I got to go warn them that they're going to get hurt.
Eric (as Lucas): But we should hold on. We should go together. Why would we individually?
Brandon (as Milo): I'll follow right behind you. But there's only one of us needs to be in danger. Just go with this person.
Eric (as Lucas): Why do you need to be in danger? That doesn't make any sense.
Brandon (as Milo): Lucas, I know the museum better than you do. I'm on the floor every day. Just like just go and I'll catch up, like right behind you. I promise.
Eric: I make a persuasion check.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Oh 14 though.
Eric: Okay, with a 14 Lucas looks at you in the eye. And whether or not he believes you, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, maybe he saw something, but he looks you in the eye and says.
Eric (as Lucas): Okay, Milo, I'm going to go with sticky hands here, and I'll be safe. Okay, good, good luck.
Brandon (as Milo): Oka cool, I'll be right behind you two. Don't-don't worry, you're going to be okay.
Brandon: And when I say that it is my incantation to cast a healing word, which is a bonus action-
Julia: [Whispering] Adorable.
Brandon: And I'm going to heal Lucas for one d4, plus my spell casting modifier.
Julia: That's really cute.
Eric: Are you trying to hide that? Healing word is a word because the somatic components are verbal. The magic or the power of it still happens.
Brandon: Mm hmm.
Eric: I'm not going to let you do this without Lucas knowing it. If you want to try to heal it, that's fine. But you're going to have to try to hide it.
Brandon: Okay, well, what if I just put my arm on his shoulder and the magic comes out of my hand like the spirit flows from my hand into him via his shoulder?
Eric: Yeah, like if you want to try to if you want to pull him in for a hug to see if he doesn't notice, I'll give you advantage on that.
Amanda: Do it, do it.
Brandon: Yeah. Okay, I'll do that.
Eric: Okay. Yeah. Let's do arcana.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Well, your boy got a 22, is that good, Eric?
Eric: That is good. Don't be don't be mad at me. I'm building stakes. You keep trying to lie to this person, to his face! Alright. Yeah I think that if you pull Lucas in for a hug and he hugs you back very tightly and he says in your ear,
Eric (as Lucas): Just come back in one piece. I can't I can't beat you at video games if you don't come back in one piece.
[Julia awws]
Brandon (as Milo): You never beat me in a video game in your life.
Eric (as Lucas): You're such a fucking asshole.
Eric: And yeah you heal Lucas for
Brandon: 11 points.
Eric: Yeah. You release him from the hug and he looks much better.
Brandon: Yay! And then I'm going to turn around and dash back into the museum and I'm going to hop into the fray here in the main room and give the golem a high five on the way in-
Julia: Nice.
Amanda: +5!
Brandon: I'm going to cast dispel magic. I'm gonna cast it on the bear.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Any spell of third level or lower on the target ends for any spell fourth level or higher. You make an ability check.
Eric: Okay, so why don't you just roll the ability check plus your spell modifier.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Fuck. 12.
Eric: 12. Alright, I love figuring out what ghost power is for magic, so, yeah. What does this look like?
Brandon: Well, it definitely didn't work, right, because if it's fourth, or higher, my DC would have been 14 minimum. Yes. Okay, so visually what happens is Milo burst into the room, and he sort of just holds out both of his hands and yell
Brandon (as Milo): Stop!
Brandon: And you see sort of a burst of individual spirits fly out from like his chest and his two hands and encircle the bear like an orb of swirling spirits. And hopefully they like suction the magic out. But I don't think they do.
Eric: Yeah, I think that this is ghostly spirits and formed together. And try to spin around the bear and separate whatever Magic or arcana or whatever is happening here. And then you see the bear it pixelates. Like it goes from a 3D model-
Julia: Shit.
Eric: and then turns into like an 8-bit bear for a moment, like you're looking at it on an NES and then it pops back in with regular 3D graphics.
Julia: It's Gutenberg
Brandon: And Milo screams
Brandon (as Milo): Uh guys, did you see that?! It's a video game bear!!
Julia (as Val): What?
Amanda (as Aggie): I'll-I'll try my spray.
Eric: It is now the bear's turn. So now that the bear is turned into two 8-bit, you see that the its mouth then has stayed into its 8-bit form. It's, like, blocky and you see, like, some like gray pieces that are supposed to be its muzzle and then some black pieces as well. It's v its nose, a little white in there for teeth and it opens its mouth wide and you see that something is growing in there. It starts small and then it grows bigger and bigger and bigger. And it is this sphere that is hot and it's flaming and it's just coming out of its mouth slowly growing like it's a big bubble, like a bubble machine. And then a throw is the flaming sphere towards Milo.
Brandon: Great.
Amanda: I slide between the legs of the golem and spray my neutralizing spray, which is clipped to my belt at the bear.
Eric: It's funny because this was supposed to be bear-
Amanda: Bear repellent yeah!
Eric: Bear repellent it and it's very funny. This is flaming-
Amanda: I've done so many drills about what to happen if a bear crosses your hiking trail that I just like spring into action.
Eric: Yeah, the flaming spear is about to leave the bear's mouth as it's like growing to maximum capacity. But then Aggie just like sprays, sprays bear repellant in the air and it is like dispels in a cloud of 8-bit pixels.
Brandon: Wonderful.
Julia: Nice.
Brandon: Real quickly, before we move on Eric! Can I roll my spiritual surge!
Eric: Do it.
Brandon: That is an 8!
Eric: You're fine. We're up to 3. Alright, it is now the drones and the robots turn, I think, of the drone there. Still, that drone in the robot are fighting together. You see, it's like,
Eric (as Beep-Boop): Beep boop, can everyone, please stay back. This seems like something is attacking.
Eric: And then you see another- another one flies in, like flaps in heaven, you see, the robot is grappling with this dragon drone in the front and then it hits it from the other one comes in from behind. And then a third one flies in from there's, like, a window, I guess, on the far left, like coming in from the break room and it, like, smashes through that window and is just like flapping around and is try and then it will try to hit Milo.
Amanda: Sour fucking Anthony is behind this. I swear to God.
Eric: That is a22 to hit. It is three damage to you, Milo.
Brandon: Just assuming that hits me Eric? Alright.
Eric: It just, it just comes out and like bonks you with its whole body and then flaps away.
Brandon: Great. I'm like
Brandon (as Milo): Ow what!? Why?
Eric: Val, you get another text and from the same number and it says "duck"
Julia: I duck
Eric: And Milo and Aggie, you look around and you see Val hit the deck and then
Julia: Val warns everyone else,
Julia (as Val): Everyone else at the deck!
Eric: [Makes a loud bursting noise]A blast of blue energy fires through the window in the break room as it streaks through the hole in the wall and goes through the bear and hits the wall, the front wall where the front door is.
Amanda: We have at least two more walls. But hopefully the Golem offsets that somewhat.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: I dunno, Jake could be there in like five minutes, but we'll see.
Eric: Yeah, the blast of energy goes through the bear and the bear howls in pain. It's pixels get all rearranged for a moment. It goes like 8-bit than 16-bit then back to full graphics and it takes a whole lot of damage. It also then smashes into the front wall and creates a massive hole.
Amanda: Aw beans.
Brandon: Well, that's supposed to be helpful, or was that someone trying to attack us? I'm confused.
Julia: With someone say this bear's bloody or?
Eric: This bear is looking real bad, it's having trouble holding its form and it keeps, like, flickering to like different graphics, you know, like now then it's, like, an N64 words, just like 3D polygons. And then it goes to 2D for a moment and then he goes back.
Brandon: We need to get it bound to original Gameboy.
Julia: I'm going to kill this bear.
Eric: Vulcani, let's go.
Julia: Okay, cool. Doing my usual attacks.
Eric: Alright.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: 17 +6
Eric: That hits.
Julia: Great. 15 +6.
Eric: That hits.
Julia: Cool. So 12 damage on the first attack.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Second I- WOAHH!! Max damage so that's 17 damage!
Eric: Vulcani.
[Beat of silence]
Eric: Finish the bear.
Brandon: Yeah!! Yeah, they did!!
Julia: I think, you know, it's kind of dark in the museum right now and for a second, like the gauntlets darken and like, it just gets really dark and all of a sudden they light up and like, it's just crackling fire against the walls and big shadows and whatnot. And Val, just double punch.
Brandon: And Milo is terrified for a second.
Julia: Boom.
Eric: It's like Froom! And like it's like you're throwing gas on a fire. Like everything gets bright for a second. As you see, Val, just double uppercuts the bear and the bear. The like fades into pixels, it slowly goes from its muzzle. Where you slammed it all the way down and then it just, like, fades away and it's dark. Then you hear fwoom fwoom fwoom fwoom as the drones then fly up the stairs and fly away.
Brandon (as Milo): Thank God.
Julia (as Val): Nice!
Amanda (as Aggie): Dang!
Brandon (as Milo): Vulcani, you killed it! I mean, like you did literally. But also you destroyed this challenge in front of us!
Julia (as Val): I feel I feel less bad because it was a pixel bear and not a real bear.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, of course. Yeah.
Julia (as Val): But also I fucked that bear up huh?
Brandon (as Milo): You fucked that bear UP!
Amanda (as Aggie): They tell you not to punch bears in the face, but like I might want to revise my strategy now.
Julia (as Val): I think it's only if you have superpowers that you should punch bear in the face.
Amanda (as Aggie): And it was a computer bear with a debrief. We gotta get out here, though guys.
Julia (as Val): Alright, let's go.
Brandon (as Milo): Wait. No, I have. I got this box thing from Dr. Morrow's office. You try to turn the lights back on?
Julia (as Val): Let's yeah. Let's uh why don't you do some science investigation, see which one we should click. Then we click it.
Amanda: Can I roll in sight to see if any of them seem electrical or municipal to me?
Eric: Yeah. Insight for Aggie.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Dirty 20
Eric: Okay,
Julia: Nice.
Eric: You remember when we were in middle school and you had colors that you assigned for your folders to specific subjects.
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Everyone knows that anything that has to do with energy is yellow. That's just what it is. Energy is yellow, the parks are green, the roads are purple, like everyone knows that. So yellow is energy.
Amanda (as Aggie): Whenever the power grid comes in to city hall, they have very annoying yellow presentation materials. So I think it's got to be the yellow one.
Brandon (as Milo): Alright.
Brandon: And without thinking, Milo just slams his thumb down on the yellow key fob.
Eric: I think there's a moment where nothing happens and it's just like silent. And all you hear is the wind from outside, from the the doors that are open and the holes in the museum.
Julia: Val just goes
Julia (as Val): It didn't fucking work!
[Eric makes a FWOOOM sound[
Eric: And all of the lights go out of the museum and you see out through the hole of the wall like it slowly comes on like a wave over the buildings and the power is back to Lake Town City, and then you hear people, like, are running out of their buildings. They're like, "AHHH!! Yeah!"
Brandon: People love power.
Eric: People love having power.
Julia: Eric, can I make a very quick investigation check to see if I can determine who shot the thing through the door?
Eric: Absolutely.
Julia: Sweet.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Just before everything goes to shit. That's a 9.
Eric: Do you want to text the number back?
Julia: Yeah! Val just takes out their phone and is like.
Julia (as Val): Nice shooting, thanks.
Eric (as message to Val's phone): No problem. You owe us.
Julia (as Val): Debatable, can't owe anyone who I don't know.
Eric (as Message): Of course you do. I saw you at that concert and you always know family.
Julia: Aw fuckin Salamoni.
Amanda: [Gasps] Yes.
Eric: Does anyone want to resolve anything else?
Julia: [Whispering] I want the locket.
Brandon: No, I'm not giving you the locket.
Julia: You're not going to open the locket Brandon?
Brandon: No. I've already pocketed the lock on the ID card. Like I'm not showing that to them. These are mine.
Julia: You bastard.
Amanda: Motherfucker.
Brandon: I'm going to make sure I'm running like 10 feet ahead of Vulcani and preserver outside of the museum. So if Lucas sees me, I can keep going.
Eric: Cool Preserver. Do you and Vulcani do you want to like go outside in your costumes or not?
Julia: Vulcani will. But I understand that Aggie doesn't want to because she called someone.
Amanda: I think I'll accompany you outside in costume and then once I see the truck of my friend pull up I will sort of, like, duck somewhere.
Eric: Yeah. I think what you do doing you superhero shit, you can go and figure it out. All wonderful. Yeah. Milo, you run out ahead and burst through. There's already like the local 7 1/2 and a half news is there.
Eric (as Anchor): Sir! Sir! What happened in the museum sir!!
Brandon (as Milo): Vulcani and Preserver saved the museum! I saw them do it. There was a, there was a bear I think? Some kind of big furry thing. I don't really understand it. And some, some of it looked like something from Game of Thrones. I don't know. But I saw them do it. They took down the big furry thing Preserver, held up the building. It was amazing.
Eric (as Anchor): Oh, like. Oh, wow. Alright. Well, thank you, man. Thank you. Random man on the street. I'm Applejack Simmons here, at MMFFC!
Brandon (as Milo): I love Applejacks! They're my favorite cereal!
Eric (as Applejack Simmons): Oh, thank you. What?
Eric: And finally, you can get out of there by that point, Vulcani and Preserver, you can, like, just step out. You can step out the front door or the hole in the wall.
Julia: Yes!
Eric: Citizens are assembling in the news is there and the fire trucks are coming too.
Julia: Val's going to go get interviewed by Applejack Simmpons.
Eric: Oh, absolutely.
Eric (as Applejack): Oh, hey, we're here. Hey, this is Applejack Simmons reporting live from MMFFC, where something happened. Vulcani, Vulcani, I love your Tumblr! Can you tell us what happened here?
Julia (as Val): To be fair, it is not my Tumblr. It is just the people at Tumblr. Love me. There was an incident with a giant bear that was apparently not a real bear. Thankfully, we were able to neutralize the situation and hopefully we will be able to start putting emergency procedures to make sure that the building here at MMFFC is safe.
Amanda (as Aggie): Please, everybody, keep a radius, keep a radius.
Amanda: And then I'm just trying to clear a path for the fire trucks.
Eric: Yeah, the fire trucks pull of Applejack is just like,
Eric (as Applejack): Hey, let's all listen to the Preserver! Preserver know what they're talking about. Obviously, they wouldn't have that cool had if they didn't know what they're talking about. We're going to get out of here. Thank you to the Preserver, and Vulcani, for keeping us safe from the bear. That also explains that other giant bear roaming around. We know that there were there, so there are two bears?
Julia (as Val): We can confirm that there were at least one bear, at least one bear.
Eric: And then you see there's like a lower third is like at least at least one bear
Julia: says Vulcani
Eric (as Applejack): Well, we're getting breaking news. This is there is another giant black bear up near Dr. Morrow's house. We are now reporting that is not the same bear that is here in the museum. That would have been ludicrous. There are two different bears. Please keep this bear, which is a real bear. Please give it the respect that we all give nature here in Lake Town City.
Eric: Jake, from the building, it was up and he's like,
Eric (as Jake): Oh, yeah, we got to fix all of that. We'll take care of that. I like to 24 hours. No problem.
Amanda: I'm not even going to try to talk to him then because he knows what he's doing. So I'll just continue with Vulcani talking to the crowd and just kind of helping people disperse.
Eric: Yeah, I think that eventually the fire department gets it under control. They put up, like, bracers and stuff and they coax the the Golem back to it box. Unfortunately, they find just like a bunch of metal boxes scattered around the room. Here's the thing. Zombies don't have a lot of HP. So, yeah, there's like the various parts of Beep-Boop are just scattered down there. And if people maybe they can put Beep-Boop together in a 2.0. And as the snow finally settles, the winds stop whipping as people start putting the museum back together. And it's another December night in Lake Town City. It's cold and the wind chill gets really, really bad. But if you know what you're doing and you're prepared. I guess it's not so bad.
[Transition note]
[Theme music]