In the wake of the charity auction robbery, our Lake Town City residents need some time to think. But someone else wants them to act now. Milo bids. Aggie gets interviewed. Val remembers high school.
Sponsors
- Shaker & Spoon, the subscription cocktail box that will level up your drink-making game.
- Twenty Sided Store, the best indie game store in Brooklyn. Pick up Masks using code JOINTHEPARTY for 20% off your online or in-store order.
- BomBARDed, an all-bard real play podcast.
Find Us Online
- website: jointhepartypod.com
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- tumblr: jointhepartypod.tumblr.com
- music: brandongrugle.bandcamp.com
- merch: jointhepartypod.com/merch
Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party…
Eric: Goons storm the charity auction at First National Bank of Lake Town City. Y’know they’ve hit a few banks a few times, this should all go according to plan, right? Uhh, not so much. Val straight up tackles a guy, Aggie runs down the criminal hitting the vault, and Milo uses his ghost magic to nab ‘em. Other than that nothing that strange happened… Well someone riding on a chromatic reflective motorcycle rode into the bank and called themselves the Knight of Mirrors and Tuna turned into a panther and ran around the city. But it’s just another ordinary evening in the LTC, I’m sure the next day will be just as normal. Let’s get the party started.
[theme music]
Eric: So this is day two in Lake Town City, welcome!
Amanda [singing]: Lake Town City!
Julia [also singing]: Lake Town City!
Eric: Where all your dreams come true!
Brandon: Bah bah bah bah bah!
Eric: ‘Cause of science!
Amanda: Listen, we make the show for artistic fulfillment, but also if there’s not an animatic of the trailer educational video for Lake Town City, I’m going to cry.
Eric: It doesn’t even need to be, like, drawn, it could just be a recorded screen of someone doing a powerpoint, I’m fine with that.
[Everyone laughing]
Julia: Absolutely fine to me!
Amanda: With the occasional pointing.
Eric: All you need is a capture card and a power point. That’s all you need. This is great, alright! Uh after the auction what do you all do? Cause Val got the suitcase off of their hand, and Aggie I guess got the shit kicked out of her a little bit. Amanda: Yeah, I’ve got four hit points left y’all. So I’m gonna go straight home, pet Sushi and have a lil’ cheese and go to bed.
Eric: Fair. Brandon: Does Aggie feel weird eating sushi now?
Amanda: No.
Julia and Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: It has never occurred to her.
[Everyone laughing]
Julia: Does Milo feel weird eating tuna?
Brandon: Milo has never liked tuna, when he was a kid there was a lot of tuna casserole involved— Julia: Not even like a filet of tuna or like a tuna roll? Brandon: Uhh, he’s not a big sushi person but maybe if he goes to a fancy place and gets like a tuna steak, y’know?
Amanda: When Tuna’s really pissing you off you could be like “you know, I know what I’m having for dinner.”
Brandon: [laughing] Stare them in the eyes as he eats some out of the can.
Julia (as Milo): We’re BOTH suffering here.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: Well, this could be a time because Tuna turned into a panther. So what’s Milo doing?
Julia: Hey whaddup with that?
Brandon: I mean, Milo’s gonna run after Tuna for a little bit. He knows that after a little while Tuna gets tired and disapperates, essentially, but for the time being he’s gonna run after Tuna and make sure that Tuna doesn’t destroy anything too valuable.
Eric: Okay, just make a flat dexterity roll for tracking.
[Dice roll]
Brandon: 12!
Amanda: Ooo!
Eric: I think with a 12, you can follow Tuna around, Tuna the panther, and there’s some mischief happening, I think if you had an angry panther running around a city for an hour, just like knocking shit over, and people are very confused. I think with a 12 though you can’t really do anything about it, you can follow but you can’t stop them.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I think that people are taking video of the panther, like there is a literal panther running around and it happens for an hour and it’s wild, and then as soon as you see Tuna the panther is on top of a pretzel cart, eating all the pretzels in there, and then poof! Disappears.
Brandon: The video headlines are like “Panther Goes to the Highest Spots in City? And Knocks Things Over. Weird.”
Eric: [laughing] “Panther Growls at Hotel Staff as it Runs to Penthouse at the Lake Town City Grand.” Amanda: If any of the flower beds in the museum are disrupted I am going to be pissed.
Eric: Nah, I think just general mischief, uh, but yeah people definitely see the panther and video tape it and stuff. Julia: Does Lake Town City have a zoo?
Eric: Probably, I think that some people assume that the panther is from the zoo, it’s like the Average Bear headline is like “Panther Escapes from Zoo, Zookeepers say Not Ours!” [Everyone laughing]
Brandon: Zookeepers say “shrug emoji”
Eric: [laughing] Zookeepers shrug emoji? So no one knows where the panther came from which is strange.
Julia: Then it just becomes an exposé on exotic pets.
Eric: Yeah, yeah! It’s like everyone just throwing shit on the wall, there’s a bunch of memes of the panther.
Amanda: There’s a definite, like, obligatory mention to the potential giant mountain lobster in the lake.
Eric: “I can has pretzel?” it’s Tuna on top of the cart.
Brandon: This is like the moment in history where average bear society, whether or not to be hard journalism—
Eric: Well no, there’s average bear and then there’s Average Bear Reports which is where Tegan, keep up. Tegan has a different job. Alright so—
Julia: Tegan’s a professional, god dammit! Eric: Tegan went to j-school, they worked at the Washington Post for a while and now they’re at Average Bear Reports. Alright so you all go to bed and that is gonna be your long rest so you all get your hit points and stuff back!
Everyone: Yay!
Brandon: Oh I get my spell slots!
Amanda: I get my luck points, and my key points.
Eric: You have so many points. Julia: I can just rage more.
Eric and Julia: Scree!
Eric: Alright, let’s start with Val. So Val, it’s Friday, so you might have a different job or you might just be running errands today, but uh what are you, what do you do? Julia: It’s dog walking.
Eric: Ahh it’s dog walking. Amanda: Yay!
Eric: So we have [laughs] we have a montage of you walking like twelve dogs at the same time, very good. Julia: There’s one bernese mountain dog that is pretty much as big as me.
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Brandon: Does Val get in an argument with any dog?
Julia: [laughing] Sometimes! Sometimes the dogs don’t move and they have to be like Julia (as Val): Ay Bruiser! Let’s get it goin’, c’mon! We have to get Charlotte back to her parent’s house in like twenty minutes! Brandon (as Val): We talked about this!
Julia (as Val): [laughing] We talked about this! Eric: Bruiser we talked— [starts laughing] so Val do you wanna use one rage at the dog park? Asking so I can keep notes.
Julia: There are dogs picking on one of the smaller dogs, like one of the new puppies that hasn’t been acclimated to the pack yet, and Val picks them up and just like in their shitty raggedy sweatshirt just like zips the dog up, like baby bjorns them.
Brandon and Amanda: Awww!
Amanda: Extremely good. Julia (as Val): S’ok Moxie they’ll, they’ll learn to love you.
Eric: You get a text from Dom Five. Eric (as Dom Five): Uhhh hey, uh, come on over. When you get a chance.
Julia (as Val): I can stop by later, can I get some of your mom’s cheesecake?
Eric (as Dom Five): What? Okay. Eric: Finger pinch emoji. Julia: Three finger pinch emojis back. Eric: Um so, you finish up with the dogs and you head over to Dominic’s and Dom is back in his office. Julia: I walk in.
Eric (as Dom Five): Oh uhh we gotta celebrity here! Oh it’s so good to see you! Wow can I get an autograph? Should I take a photo with you and put you up on the wall? Cause I — you and Al Pachino would look really good together side by side, I think.
Julia (as Val): Yes we would! What are you talking about?
Eric (as Dom Five): Oh well, so you haven’t been… I guess, I didn’t know I guess I’m so cool with the social media now— Julia (as Val): I woke up two hours ago, I walked some dogs, and I came here.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Dom takes out his phone and pokes on it a little bit and shows you a video of you kicking the shit outta these goons.
Amanda: Yas Val!
Eric: There is also the part where you’re vibrating so.
Julia: It looks out of focus.
Eric: Yes, it definitely looks weird to the human eye especially recorded on a phone. Eric (as Dom Five): Uhh I didn’t know you could fight like that. Maybe I should uhh, I got, we got other stuff for you to do. I could always use more people for—
Julia (as Val): Well first off, I don’t advertise that y’know, we’re going around fighting people all the time.
Eric (as Dom Five): I mean, I do all the time. Julia (as Val): How do you own a business?!
Eric (as Dom Five): I’m… I’m uhhh part of this community and uh people respect me for it.
Julia (as Val): Oh sure, sure.
Eric (as Dom Five): Val, cool, uh would you like to do that professionally?
Julia (as Val): Like boxing?
Eric (as Dom Five very high pitched): I uh I mean if you don’t wanna that’s fine! Julia (as Val): I like walking dogs, I like making pizza, I like sometimes yelling at your customers to know how to order pizza, I like making deliveries.
Brandon: I like feeding pizza to dogs.
Julia (as Val): I like feeding pizza to dogs! Whenever you throw out pizza, I feed it to the dogs. It’s probably not good for them but they love it.
Eric (as Dom Five): Okay! Alright well uh, I’m gonna keep ya in mind, just so you know! Julia (as Val): Keep me in mind for what? Eric (as Dom Five): Okay, uh did the thing happen uh uh alright?
Julia (as Val): Did you get a chair delivered to your house or what?
Eric (as Dom Five): Yes but I wanted to ask you first, oh sorry do you want me to brag and bring up the receipt for you? Julia (as Val): Yes please!
Eric (as Dom Five): You wanna look at my email? You both a champion boxer and you also hack into the mainframe? You’re the brains and the brawn apparently, I dunno where I fit in anymore.
Julia (as Val): I dunno, I haven’t won any titles yet or anything.
Eric (as Dom Five): Oh man, I love you like a child but fuck, go fuck yourself! Truly fuck yourself! I cannot believe…
Julia (as Val): Go fuck yourself! Is this what you wanted cause—
Eric (as Dom Five): Yeah that’s literally all I wanted! Hey! What was with the panther?
Julia (as Val): [laughing] I don’t fuckin’ know!
Eric (as Dom Five: Oh okay, I just figured I would ask. Julia (as Val): Okay, I’m gonna grab some lasagna and some cheesecake, I’ll see ya later!
Eric (as Dom Five): Alright see ya later. Julia (as Val): Not paying for ‘em!
Eric (as Dom Five): Never do.
Eric: And you go over and you’re spooning lasagne into a tupperware that you have. Julia: Yup! Absolutely and I bring it upstairs.
Eric: Yes, absolutely and you get a text message from a number that you don’t recognize, and it says. Eric (with a slightly higher voice): Oh my god Val! Hey! This is Emily, Emily Slaughter it’s so nice— I saw you in the video!
Julia (as Val): Who in the fuck are you? [Everyone laughs]
Brandon: Finger pinch emoji.
Eric: Finger pinch emoji, um so Julia this is what I want to ask you: how long did Val live in Lake Town City?
Julia: So Val’s dad bought the cabin in Lake Town City as a wedding present. Eric: Like back in the early 80’s?
Julia: In the early 80’s before the incident, and Val’s mom would go up there just to like get away from it all, or sometimes it was a little hot so you didn’t want to be around the city cause y’know the feds come knockin’ on your door you don’t want— Amanda: Took a long drive.
Julia: Yeah you just wanna take a long drive.
Eric: It’s like hey why don’t you uhh go up to Lake Town just for a week or so? It’s fine! Amanda: Gets you outta the house!
Julia: And so when the incident happened that’s when Val’s parents separated mostly because of the quarentine and stuff, but they were kinda like on again off again because no one ever really gets fuckin’ divorced in the Catholic church. Um and so Val was kinda born as a result but lived full-time with their mom but spent summers down in New York City with their dad.
Eric: Okay. Julia: Until they were like sixteen or seventeen probably.
Eric: Okay so how do you think Val associated with the other people who were living in the historic Lake Town District?
Julia: Not great, I picture. I feel like they were always the outsider cause their mom was not a Lake Town City original, necessarily. Or not Lake Town Original, she was only up there every once and a while and the fact that she happened to be there for the incident was a surprise to everyone. Eric: Coincidental, really.
Julia: Very coincidental! For sure, so I think either was distanced or distanced themselves from most of the Lake Town City proper people.
Eric: Okay, alright, so with Emily texting you.
Eric (as Emily): Oh no, it’s Emilyl, we grew up, well we were kind of neighbors. I saw you in the video from the auction and I just had to reach out. It’s wild what happened to you.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. I-I mean there were other people there too, it wasn’t just me.
Eric (as Emily): No I know, I recognized your face and your cool hair so cool hello!
Julia (as Val): Thank you.
Eric (as Emily): It’s good to see you again! Julia (as Val): My hair is cool, thank you.
Eric (as Emily): You know what? Tonight I’m actually having a group of people together, all these people who grew up in the original Lake Town, and from there, you should come by! It’s gonna be really fun seeing all these people again, there’s gonna be free beer, some snacks, um it’s kinda like, I have this friend who has this warehouse space on the boarder of Industry City and Thornhill, it’ll be really fun! You should come by.
Julia (as Val): There any bands playing?
Eric (as Emily): There can- uhh, yeah! Yes! Your favorite band is going to be there.
Julia (as Val): Grift Store?
Eric (as Emily): Yes absolutely! I love them, Johnny Crash too is like wow! Julia (as Val): Okay, um you know what I’ll see if I can swing by. Eric (as Emily): Yeah? I would really like to see you, just to catch up and have us all catch up together, it’ll be sick. Julia (as Val): Mmmalright maybe.
Eric (as Emily): Okay, and hey 9:00 P.M.
Eric: And she sends you a dropped pin with the address.
Julia: I don’t respond. [Laughing] playing it cool!
Eric: Alright, let’s check in with Aggie! Aggie, you have your meeting with Tegan today.
Amanda: I mean it’s not so much a meeting it’s more like I told them where I’m gonna be, if they wanna stop by that’s cool, but if they don’t show up I’ll only be quietly disappointed instead of fully disappointed.
Eric: Instead of out loud disappointed. Where did you tell Tegan you wanted to meet?
Amanda: I didn’t, I just said I’d be on shift all day at the museum. But luckily, no middle schoolers to talk to today so Aggie wakes up as normal, pudders around, waters the plants, feeds Sushi. Then when she’s all dressed and ready to face the day her normal uniform makes her feel really you know, confident, and this is the armor she puts on to face the day. Goes out to the Mountain News to pick up her paper and coffee and roll as always. Eric: Alright you go over there and Mickie has all of it in a paper bag. Eric (as Mickie): Alright here’s the order, I don’t wanna mess with you today.
Amanda (as Aggie): Big night for news huh?
Eric (as Mickie): Yeah, uh, I learned a lot about my city, and crime, cats, large jungle cats. Uh I also you know something that I didn’t learn was the years of krav maga apparently that you know how to do.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh what?
Eric (as Mickie): Oh are we just gonna skate by on that? You kicking the shit outta some goons, pretty cool! You know, I thought you were a boring person, and then I thought you were cool, but then you’re owning your boringness so now there’s like a level of boring, and a level of cool, and then another level of boring? But below that a very deep well like an oil spring of cool.
[Brandon laughing] Amanda (as Aggie): [almost hesitantly] Thank you, Mickie uh.
Brandon: That was the story of a small Texas town in west Texas.
Amanda: It’s almost like I’m a double decker opened-faced sandwich of boring on cool toast. Is that what I’m getting out of this or…?
Eric: Yeah it’s like a parfait of cool and boring layered, but the bottom layer is just this well of hot fudge of cool.
Brandon: Julia should we take a break while they figure this out?
Julia: I am so hungry now.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know it’s not so much of that, it you know — growing up, lots of siblings I had to make sure they weren’t roughed up too much at school so uh, it’s just something I don’t know something I like to do you know. I like to stay in shape and it’s is what it is!
Eric (as Mickie): Alright, uh I’m going to sign up for the krav maga capoeira tae kwon do lessons from you I’ll exchange for bagels, great I’m glad that we have it locked down. I’ll see you tomorrow at 5:00 A.M. I’ll have a gi on.
[Everyone laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): You know me, I just wanna try to keep everybody safe and happy and calm. If someone comes in with a mask on trying to rob a bank and I’m the only one around, I’m gonna do what I have to do.
Eric (as Mickie): Apparently. Oh you know I added something else to your order.
Eric: Mickie points over to the few chairs within the Mountain News and Tegan is sitting there with their—
Amanda (as Aggie): JESUS.
[Julia laughing]
Eric (as Tegan): It’s not my fault you didn’t notice me. Cause [laughs] I’m also wearing, as I’ve said before, my statement piece: turquoise jacket.
Brandon: Do they wear this jacket everyday?
Eric: All the time. Perpetually.
Julia: How bad does it smell? Eric: It — you think they don’t take care of it? Julia: I’m just wondering! Eric: Tegan Murphy of Average Bear News.
Amanda: I think Tegan probably always smells of sandalwood or some shit.
Julia: Are they just a fanfic character? Or?
Eric: Listen, that’s not canon! That’s Amanda’s headcanon of Tegan.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh, hop in the truck if you wanna see what I do everyday, come see my morning rounds.
Eric (as Tegan): Okay! Sounds fun.
Eric: Tegan hops in the truck, at first Tegan hops in the bed and is like Eric (as Tegan): Is this wrong? Is this not what I’m supposed to do? I don’t know anything about working about anything. Amanda: Aggies sits in the driver’s seat and just shakes her head slowly.
Brandon: Are they trying to seem relatable and down home?
Eric: [without skipping a beat] Yeah! Hundred percent!
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: So they hop in the cab and Tegan takes out a recorder. Eric (as Tegan): You know, I am trying to write an article about you, can I record this?
Amanda (as Aggie): Again, anything… Um… Amanda: And Aggie looks down at the recorder.
Amanda (as Aggie): Um…
Eric (as Tegan): It’s not on yet.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh! Uh I mean do I have to say off the record or how does this work?
Eric (as Tegan): No I was just gonna ask you before I could turn it on, is this okay? I’m writing about you, I’m not writing about the institution. I think that you’re interesting.
Amanda (as Aggie): I just - listen I’m just, I’m—I’m uncomfortable with that, I live in a small town, have a small job, and I’m the least famous of my siblings by far, and I kind of like it that way to be honest.
Eric (as Tegan): It’s cool listen, it’s one article. Please? Amanda (as Aggie): But isn’t it a whole just viral, and it’s on the internet, and then everyone gets it to their phone.
Brandon: Has Aggie used the internet before?
Julia: It’s like a TikTok I hear?
Amanda: Aggie’s great with a beeper.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric (as Tegan): Kind of, I guess? Listen, you know if you don’t give me anything interesting, I won’t write about it. But you gotta let me give it a shot. Pleaase? This is my reporter trick. Pleaaaase?
[Brandon laughing] Julia: So professional!
Eric (as Tegan): Pleaaase? Amanda: Aggie smiles despite herself.
Amanda (as Aggie): I-I see what you’re doing.
Eric (as Tegan): Okay, so I’m gonna start recording and the recorder is now on.
Amanda (as Aggie): So um… This is uh Lake Town. You might know that uh Lake Town City, before it was this big uh destination before Dr. Morrow, and the Morrow Corp diaphorum and all that, uh it’s just a little lake town where people come and live all year ‘round and then in the summer, people come up and the whole tourist economy. So this is what I do I’m a caretaker of Original Lake Town. There’s this museum down here where kinda Main Street and the lake meet and Main Street is now a historic district as well so there’s all kinds of fascinating protections I can tell you all about with the facades and the look of the thing and the old businesses and all that. Umm and I live on a cottage on the property of the museum, and every morning I just make a round around the lake and make sure everything’s alright. There was a panther incident last night as you may have seen, so just wanna make sure there was no damage or panther… poop or… you know. Or whatever else. Pretty boring.
Eric (as Tegan): [laughing] This is great stuff. This is so good. I’m sorry you’re so riveting I’m going to write about all of this, this is gonna be awesome. So do you like your—
Amanda (as Aggie): So I’m gonna have to fix a toilet later, so if you wanna come figure that out—
Eric (as Tegan): No it’s gonna be great, um so do you like doing this?
Amanda (as Aggie): It’s very fulfilling, I want to be of service and it’s great to help make sure that the folks that grew up with are being taken care of, even those who don’t have family around. Eric (as Tegan): Oh! Okay, um, you know it’s funny everything you’re talking about is Lake Town, Historic Lake Town District. To the outside it looks like this preserved place and that’s the thing, it’s like everything stays the way it is. But there is another thing that I’ve noticed that kind of connects everyone. You notice that everyone looks super good for their age?
Amanda (as Aggie): Uhh, what do you mean?
Eric (as Tegan): Oh, you know I’ve just been going around and talking to people, like the Ropers, you know the Ropers, so sweet.
Amanda (as Aggie): Ahh with the toilet you must have heard. Eric (as Tegan): Oh believe me, they told me all about it. Yeah but like they’re like in their eighties! But they don’t look a day over fifty-five. Amanda (as Aggie): I think it’s something with that mountain air, you know. It’s uh it’s just a balanced lifestyle, good diet, go out on your constitutionals, and do your brisk walks, and it’s something people really like! Eric (as Tegan): You know even your parents look amazing too. Like no older than thirty-five. I’ve seen them, I looked up some old newspapers and they look amazing, they look the same way they did in ‘85.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry… Did you like… Research me?
Eric (as Tegan): Yeah, oh yeah. I’m a reporter, it’s kinda the stuff that I do, but yeah!
Amanda: Aggie pulls the truck over.
Amanda (as Aggie): No, I mean how-how did you hear about me what are you trying to get out of this?
Eric (as Tegan): Nothing! It’s an interesting place, I just wanna know, must be the mountain air why everyone looks so good and why all of their children are so cool and successful. Including you!
Eric: If you wanna know more, make an insight check.
Julia: Amanda, at the same time can you also do an investigation check? A smell investigation check to see what they smell like.
Amanda: That was an 18 insight.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: And a 9 investigation.
Eric: [laughing] Okay, 9 investigation: it could be sandalwood? I don’t even know where you, I dunno I’m not that good at it. What do you wanna know about what they’re thinking, just ask me a question and I’ll answer it.
Amanda: Does Tegan know the truth about the incident?
Eric: With an 18 you can tell that with these probing questions, they’re doing the thing where they want you to say the the sentence confirming suspicions. So with an 18 I’d say that they are leading questions to suggest that they might know what they’re talking about, but they are also being very coy.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know, Tegan, all I know is I was very fortunate to grow up in a place like this. My siblings are very fortunate to have found stuff that they’re good at that makes them proud. Lots of Olympic athletes, by the way, come from this town, lots of famous artists, there are a ton of people who have gone onto academic careers from Lake Placid and Saranac, and Keene, and Burlington. All over the map, but I’ve found something I’m good at that makes me happy, and that is you know, making sure the folks from my hometown and the buildings and the history is preserved.
Eric (as Tegan): Alright, good answer. I guess this is my stop, I’ll be in town for another few days. Let me know if you want to hang out.
Amanda (as Aggie): Again I’m in contact with the museum, the historical board, city government, lot of good facts they can give you. I’m just a groundskeeper.
Eric (as Tegan): Alright.
Eric: Tegan grabs the recorder, turns it off and opens up the door of the truck and says
Eric (as Tegan): Also you kick ass, I knew that. Amanda (as Aggie): Did the Ropers speak that highly of my plumbing skills? Because to be honest with you they just want company, there was nothing wrong with the toilet.
Eric (as Tegan): Aggie, uh recorder’s off, it’s cool.
Eric: Teagan hops out and walks away. Your beeper immediately blows up and it’s coming from Emily Slaughter. The Slaughters were a family who was also living in Lake Town at the time so you recognize the name even if you haven’t seen her in like years ever since you two graduated from NCSS, you haven’t seen her since graduation. So you got a text. It says
Eric (as Emily): Aggie! It’s Emily Slaughter, what’s up? I saw you on the news!
Amanda: Aggie stares at it for a moment and makes sure in her head which one of the Slaughter siblings Emily is, and then replies
Amanda (as Aggie): oh! great to hear from you, are you back in town? Eric (as Emily): Yeah, I moved back a little while ago. I really wanted to get all the kids from the neighborhood back together so I’m having a Historic Lake Town meet up later tonight. 9:00 P.M. if you want to come! As someone who’s still here, I think it’d be great to pull everybody together. Amanda (as Aggie): oh were you trying to book the museum? because those requests have to go through the website, we could definitely do something but maybe not with such short notice.
Eric (as Emily): Lol, computer emoji, um, no I actually have a spot my friend has a band over here and knows like a warehouse space over like where Industry City and Thornhill meet. We’re gonna meet over there, free food, some beer, I think it’d be cool just for everyone to hang out again.
Amanda: Aggie deliberately types out
Amanda (as Aggie): neat. Amanda: Period. [Julia chuckles]
Amanda (as Aggie): i’ll try to make it.
Eric (as Emily): I hope to see you!!!!!
Amanda (as Aggie): should i bring anything?
Eric (as Emily): Just yourself! And any of your friends who you know are still around from the neighborhood.
Amanda (as Aggie): thank you for including me. Eric (as Emily): Finger guns emoji.
Brandon: Does Aggie type in perfect punctuation? Julia: [whispering] Of course.
Eric: You know it!
Amanda: I can’t decide, I think it’s full punctuation, with all lowercase.
Eric: Nice!
Julia: Bold choice, and I appreciate it.
Eric: Let’s cut over to Milo! What up Milo?
Brandon: What up!
Eric: Well you had an adventurous day before!
Brandon: Very late night.
Amanda: Hey Milo why do you talk to ghosts bud?
Julia: Hey Milo what the fuck?
[Everyone laughing]
Brandon: Is that weird y’all?
Eric: Apparently, uh so, you have a to-do list today, don’t you?
Brandon: I do. Eric: So you still have the $500 in a manilla envelope that Mr. Brewpot gave you, what do you wanna do?
Brandon: Well, uh, Milo’s morning starts with his Darth Vader alarm clock going off, playing the Imperial March.
Eric: Of course. Brandon: As it does every morning, because mornings are evil.
Julia: Checks out.
Brandon: And slams it down, and realizes that once again he has fifteen minutes to get to work!
Eric: [laughing] Of course.
Brandon: So Milo decides to skip the shower, and gets ready, and just tries to hoof it over to the museum.
Eric: You take the express gondola.
Brandon: Mhm.
Amanda and Eric: Sky tram! Eric: Alright so you walk into the museum then the first thing you see is Mr. Brewpot like speed walking towards you. Brandon: I speed walk back and I say
Brandon (as Milo): Hello Mr. Brewpot, good morning, how are you doing welcome, have you had coffee, did you see there’s pastries in the employee break room? Here’s your envelope full of cash, I didn’t get the papers no one got the papers, no one got anything last night. But I will go back if there’s another auction in the meantime, I have a tour in like five minutes, is there anything I can do for you? If not, I’m gonna leave!
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Milo, uh, are-are you okay?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah! What do you mean?
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): What do — I know I’m a dad, but I’m not that unplugged from the news, are you okay? There was a panther! Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, there was a panther for everyone in the city, what are you talking about? Why would it impact me?
Eric: Okay I’m gonna get you to make a deception check to dupe this nice man who cares about you.
Amanda: Brewsky’s dad.
Julia: [laughing] There’s a panther for everyone in the city!
Brandon: Um, 11 - 1 for a 10.
Amanda: Ohh.
Julia: Oh god, bud.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Listen, Milo, if you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s fine, I don’t care about the money. Are you okay?
Brandon (as Milo): Talk about what?
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Uh, the bank robbers and the panther where you were!
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, they came in and I booked it out of there! I didn’t stick around. Amanda: I’m just really glad I’m not the nervous talker in this campaign anymore.
[Everyone laughing]
Brandon: It’s a managing up strategy.
Amanda: Oh yeah, it is.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Listen Milo, uh, I’m glad you’re safe but what… Are you okay?
Brandon (as Milo): Again, yes. I didn’t get much sleep last night because I was a little wound up after a bank robbery happened at the auction I was at but, I’m fine. I’m gonna get some coffee.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Okay…
Brandon (as Milo): I’m sorry for disappointing my manager for not getting the thing they wanted.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Alright, have a good day son.
Brandon (as Milo): Here’s your tie back.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Thank you.
Eric: Mr. Brewpot walks away with a very confused look on his face, and he goes back to his office. Julia: This poor man.
Eric: So what’s the plan?
Brandon: I’m gonna start by going around my morning rounds and just like flipping on light switches, turning on exhibits and go over to the sarcophagus thing, and have a lil light chat you know.
Amanda: They’re sleeping off their big night.
Brandon: I don’t know, we’ll see.
Eric: I was gonna say, yeah! You haven’t seen Tuna like you assumed that Tuna was messing with your alarm clock but you just set it incorrectly this morning.
Brandon: I mean, they’re a cat you know, they do what they want. They go their own way, they come back, who cares.
Eric: Especially a ghost cat!
Brandon: Also it’s Tuna, who cares about Tuna you know.
Amanda: I care about Tuna!!!
Eric: The audience cares about Tuna!!
Amanda: Tuna’s my favorite PC!
Brandon: Here’s the secret, Tuna’s a real dick.
Eric: It’s not a secret, bud! Alright you go over to the weird science experiment and—
Brandon: Yeah I kinda lean up against the glass enclosure with a cup of coffee in my hand, and real chill just like fiddle with a light switch and I’m like
Brandon (as Milo): Well you know, I couldn’t find the key. Is there any other way to get you outta there, uhh Mr. Ghost Friend? Oh sorry, how was your night, good morning, how are you?
Eric (as voice): It was baaad, cause I’m sitting here and I can look at my own skeleton, that’s a bummer.
Amanda: Oh no…
Brandon (as Milo): Hey what was the last thing you remember?
Eric (as voice): Um…
Eric: I do want to make you roll on this, if you want to try to endear yourself to the spirit a little more, I’ll give you advantage, but I think you need to make a persuasion check for them to talk to you.
Brandon: Okay. [Dice rolls]
Brandon: That’s a 3!
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 14!
Eric: Okay, I will let you get the 14, you gotta endear yourself more to the spirit.
Brandon (as Milo): You’re look so radiant this morning!
Amanda: [laughing]
Brandon (as Milo): Can I tell you, I’ve never seen a better looking ghost.
Eric (as voice): What?! Uh, can you see—
Brandon (as Milo): I’ve never seen a ghost
Eric (as voice): You can see in here?!
Amanda: Roll again with disadvantage!
Brandon (as Milo): [Laughing] Um, okay no, I was bullshitting you but you sound wonderful, I’m really looking forward to becoming a friend—
Eric (as voice): So you didn’t get the key…
Brandon (as Milo): … a confidant, I did not! No one got anything from the auction it was attacked by weird masked robbers, is there another way to get you out? Was not my fault, I didn’t want to not get the key.
Eric (as voice): And where is this? Where am I?
Brandon (as Milo): Well, you’re in the MMFFC.
Eric (as voice): Uh okay, um.
Brandon (as Milo): Which is the science museum, you know?
Eric (as voice): Are there no emergency keys buried in your archives or you don’t know any other way to get your hands on them like someone must be selling one of these, everyone had one.
Brandon (as Milo): Ohh! Okay, yeah I didn’t know if it was a specific key or if it was like a replica key basically.
Eric (as voice): Yeah every employee of Dr. Morrow had one to make sure to shut down the science if the science went bad. Is this too rudimentary for you? I can slow it down a little bit.
Brandon (as Milo): I don’t know why you’re getting aggressive at me?
Eric (as voice): [screaming] I’VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS THING I DON’T KNOW WHAT— [trying to calm down] mmmm, you know what. You can find — look up on the internet, have you used eBay before?
Brandon (as Milo): [chuckles] yes.
[Eric and Brandon laughing]
Eric: Alright so, I think that’s all you’re gonna get out of the spirit at the moment.
Brandon: Alright, well I’m gonna spend the rest of my breaks during that day searching through the archive, looking on eBay coyly asking my manager or anyone else who might know in the museum about who could have a key who used to work with Dr. Morrow, see if I can find any—
Eric: Which one do you wanna do the most? Which one are you gonna lean into?
Brandon: I mean he’s gonna go where his skill sets are which is eBay.
Eric: So at first I wanna make you do an investigation check for the internet but you are skilled in eBay.
Brandon: I am proficient.
Amanda: That’s one of his languages.
Eric: You’re proficient in eBay, so you can add your proficiency bonus, an extra +2 to this thingy.
Julia: So many years trying to find a genuine Mark Hamill signature.
[dice rolling]
Eric: Lots of fake ones out there.
Brandon: What was it?
Amanda: 13
Brandon: Yeah!
Julia: That’s a 15.
Brandon: Uh that rolled under Amanda’s chair but total, that is 13 +3 for 16.
Julia: Oh 16, nice!
Brandon: While he’s at it, he’s also gonna try to find a 64 lunchbox, it’s the one with only bones on it.
Eric: 16 you dig around on eBay for a little while but you do find a key which is for auction.
Brandon: I just wanna say out loud, I’m the only one within like a three-mile radius that know how to use any search filters, so.
Julia: That’s important.
Eric: This has like “Vintage, Real” in all caps, “VINTAGE REAL HISTORIC SCIENCE KEY!”
Brandon: Not haunted!
Eric: Yeah! Not haunted!
Julia: No, it’s definitely haunted.
Eric: And there are five minutes left in this auction.
Amanda: Oh no!
Eric: Right now it’s at like $110.
Brandon: Okay, well I’m gonna load up my sniping program, and enter my max bid, I think I could reasonably get away with $200 bucks from my extra cash I have laying around.
Eric: No 200 is good, okay. So with a 15—
Brandon: I’m not gonna bid immediately, I’m gonna wait til the last one to two seconds and then my program’s going to bid my $200.
Eric: No definitely, for sure, I’m gonna give you advantage I think there needs to be a roll, let’s make it wisdom and again, let’s give you advantage cause you have the sniper program.
Brandon: Alright, well I also have proficiency in this so it’s gonna be a +5.
Julia: Oof!
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Wait proficiency in — oh right, eBay.
Brandon: And advantage.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Oh. God.
Julia: Please.
[Eric laughing]
[Dice rolls again]
Brandon: That would be a 22, 17 +5
Julia and Amanda: Ooo!!
Julia: Beautiful, the tray did wonders!
Eric: So you put your sniper program in and you’re ready, you have your $200 bid, and you’re ready, it fires up, and you just refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, and you just see—
Brandon: Excuse me, I don’t refresh, it auto refreshes.
Eric: Oh the auto refresh program refresh, refresh, refresh, refreshes, and the auction is over and it goes to with a bid of $201.13. You lost the bid.
Brandon: With a 22 I lost the bid?!
Julia: Did you roll a nat 20—
Eric: I rolled a nat 20, can you see that?
Amanda: I do see it, yeah.
Eric: It’s true.
Amanda: It’s the kraken on top.
Brandon: Wow. Okay. I have an eBay Premium membership so I can see the screen name of the person who won the bid. Eric: Oh yeah, so it is someone named SergeantSlaughter1991.
Brandon: That is a very aggressive name to put online. So his break is almost done but he’s gonna quickly clear all the cache and history from his work computer, cause he’s not buying lunchboxes on company time.
Eric: No, not at all.
Brandon: That’s ridiculous, did I win that one?
Eric: No that’s fine, I’ll give you that one. Oh and you get a text message! It says
Eric (as Emily): Hey! Milo, this is Emily Slaughter, I saw you on the news! Wild right?
Brandon (as Milo): I wasn’t on the news. I didn’t see that. Send me a link!
Eric: So this is my question, Brandon how long have you lived in Lake Town City?
Brandon: So this is how Milo’s history goes he—
Amanda: Lil’ something like this! Hit it!
Brandon: Lil’ something like this his parents were married and living in Lake Town proper at the time of the incident, and a few years later they had Milo, but they felt that they couldn’t care for a child at the time so Milo was adopted by a single father. The father lived in Lake Town City but as they got you know, older and older he had to move further, and further out to find affordable housing and get closer to his jobs, as they were closer to New York City. So Milo’s lived in Lake Town City like the outskirts for most of his life but he doesn’t really know the inhabitants much of the proper Lake Town, like he knows them because everyone does. But he doesn’t necessarily have close personal relationships. But he has been here for you know almost thirty some odd years, so people know him, he’s a good bowler, and he’s the educator at the science museum. So he has a lot of face time with people.
Julia: Ayy single parent household high five.
Eric: So you never lived in Historic Lake Town proper.
Brandon: Milo did not.
Eric: Milo did not, okay. I’m trying to think, you would know Emily cause Emily is kind of a busy body, she’s like around. As much as you’re like around at bowling stuff, she’s putting together some sort of like benefit, or some sort of party. But you know her family has lived in Historic Lake Town for a while.
Brandon: Yeah, and Milo you know goes to Lake Town City to go get ice cream, and as a teenager fuck with the giant mountain lobster. Like he knows the people around town.
Eric: And she’s definitely lived here for a while, I think the city is small enough that you can like know people, like as people who are around. You might have had her contact in your phone already.
Brandon: Oh yeah, I totally did. Milo’s the kind of person that definitely is good at people, that’s why he’s an educator. So he knows how to talk to people, it’s not like he likes necessarily to be super social but he’s very good at it.
Eric: Sure, yeah so Emily texts you.
Eric (as Emily): Lol, okay, whatever. Y’know we haven’t—
hBrandon (as Milo): SEND ME THE LINK!
Eric (as Emily): Okay fine!
Eric: She sends you a video, an Average Bear article and there’s definitely at least video that’s like “Unknown Man Shot Spirits Out of his Chest. LOL OMG.” There’s a short video that’s from Twitter, that literally shows you the hand reaching out of your chest that changed Tuna.
Julia: I really hope it’s a Boomerang.
Eric: Yeah it’s a Boomerang of it yeah.
[Everyone laughing]
Amanda: Ooo.
Brandon: I text back in all caps
Brandon (as Milo): OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED RIGHT AFTER I LEFT, I MISSED THIS.
[Amanda and Eric laughing]
Eric (as Emily): Lol okay, um hey a bunch of people from Old Lake Town are gonna meet up tonight. I thought it’d be really cool if you came by, I mean I know you don’t really know most of these people, but you’ve always been around, and you know you can meet a bunch of my friends.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah that sounds awesome!
Eric (as Emily): Alright cool! I’ll see you tonight. It's at 9:00 P.M. and it’s at, well I’ll drop you a pin. Eric: She drops you a pin for the warehouse in between Thornhil and the industry area.
Brandon (as Milo): Awesome thanks, hey thanks for inviting me. Can I bring anything?
Eric (as Emily): Oh bring yourself, bring any friends — or I guess you don’t really know as many… I’m just trying to get as many Lake Town people around so… Brandon (as Milo): Yeah well thanks for including me this time, and for always including me in the Lake Town OGs y’know? I appreciate it. Eric (as Emily): Yeah of course! I want you to meet all these people, it’s been a while.
Amanda: Val brings their own tupperware to parties.
Eric: To save the snacks.
Julia: [laughing] Yes! It’s to take home, not to bring anything.
Amanda: Yes, exactly.
Julia: Cool cool cool.
Brandon: Three minutes later Milo texts back.
Brandon (as Milo): Hey have you been on eBay?
Eric (as Emily): Uh, yeah, I mean, it’s been around for a while for sure, why what’s up?
Brandon (as Milo): Cool, see you tonight!
Eric (as Emily): Okay, bye. Lol, weird.
[Music]
Amanda: Hey, it’s Amanda, to me there’s no form of love more tangible than “oh I made you some food for you last night and I left it in the fridge” and now I don’t have to cook this morning because my smoothie is already made! Hell yeah. This is your pre-prepped breakfast, welcome to the midroll.
First, THANK YOU to everyone who has joined our Patreon in the last week: Emma, Samantha Starr, Lucas, Lisa, Angie, Krista, Ryland, Al, Kelly, Jasmine, Chris, Elizabeth, Clara, and Hitomi.
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We are sponsored this week by Shaker & Spoon. This is a craft cocktail subscription box that sends you everything you need to make 3 kinds of cocktails, perfectly proportioned to use up one whole bottle of that month’s spirit. You get beautiful recipe cards—I keep them all, they are so pretty—designed by world-class bartenders to show you the range of what that spirit is all about. And the custom bitters, syrups, and other supplies Shaker & Spoon sends make 4 of each recipe with no waste. This is a great way to improve your skills and try new craft cocktails from the comfort of your own home, without buying a bunch of full-size syrups and ingredients up front. Like, I never drink vodka, but the April Steeped in Vodka box showed me how versatile vodka drinks can be. There were so many limes, and the drinks were amazing! So do yourself a favor—or send the best gift ever—by signing up for Shaker & Spoon. Get $20 off your first box at shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty. That’s shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty
We are also sponsored by Twenty Sided Store. I’ve talked before about how very into jigsaw puzzles I am, and recently I have been tearing through a bunch of new ones. I stocked up earlier this year at Twenty Sided, which has a great selection of puzzles of all sizes. I’m not always up for a multi-day 1,000 piece monster; sometimes I want a 250 or 500 piece puzzle to do over the course of an evening or a couple of days. And my favorite part is always trading those puzzles with my grandma for whatever she recently completed. So get your puzzle trading club started now! Visit twentysidedstore.com and use code jointheparty for 20% off online orders or pick up.
Finally, we want to shout out our friends at BomBARDed. This is a musical D&D Podcast adventure that features Dallas/Fort Worth band Lindby playing as an all-bard cast. Dungeon Maestro Kyle leads these lovable bards through their education at Strumlotts school for bards and the misadventures that they encounter along the way. Everyone brings real instruments to the table to perform their bard spells and each episode provides a new song composed by rolling chord dice! Also, all of the songs the bards create together AND the original backing tracks that are composed for each episode are available on their band camp page at http://bombarded.bandcamp.com. Check out http://bombardecast.com for more info on the show, or just search “BomBARDed” whenever you get podcasts.
And now, let’s get back to the show.
[Music]
Eric: It is now later that night it has come up on nine o’clock. Are y’all going to the meetup?
Brandon: I am, yeah, Milo is. Milo’s gonna do some internet research to try to figure out what else SargentSlaughter has you know posted on and tried to figure out if it is Emily.
Eric: I don’t know with the investigation, yeah you can do it, and it’s all like Lake Town memorabilia. You’re like “yeah that’s definitely Emily”
Amanda: Aggie arrives ten minutes early with yearbooks, pop, and pretzels in hand.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: Val shows up half an hour late, but not before texting their mom a picture of a selfie that they took when they were dog walking earlier with the dog in their sweatshirt.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric: That’s great, I think at the— Julia: Do I get a reply?
Eric: Your mom’s like. Eric (as Val’s mom): Awwww! Eyes emoji, dog emoji.
Julia: Beautiful.
Brandon: Milo’s gonna show up fifteen minutes late, with a six pack and some lunchbox that he imagines Emily might want.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Like a Monty lunchbox?
Brandon: Yeah like whatever fandom she’s into you know?
Eric: Oh yeah, like a vintage Monty lunchbox?
Amanda: Some like old gift shop overstock.
Brandon: Yeah, but like rare. It’s got a mistake on it, it’s like a mistake printing.
Julia: Monty’s just a shade off of the real thing.
Eric: Monty’s blue for some reason? So weird.
Amanda: Is the six pack from Lake Town City Brewing?
Brandon: Yes of course, of course Milo always buys local.
Amanda: LTCB?
Brandon: Yeah!
Eric: Alright, okay great? [laughing] Awesome, all of you guys. Julia: Good world building guys! Start with pizza and breweries!
Eric: No it’s great, I love this, I don’t have to do anything this is awesome! Alright, you all walk over to the warehouse, Aggie when you show up, it’s just Emily. You’re definitely the first person there. You probably know her as well, she’s kind of a busy body, cares a lot about the history of Lake Town. She’s dressed very like she just got off of work at a place that adheres to business casual. She’s probably wearing a pink button down, with a sharp blazer over it, and she has like cool sneakers on under her flowy pants, and she’s like Eric (as Emily): Oh Aggie! Thank you so much for coming!
Eric: She give you a big hug. I don’t know when the last time you saw her is, probably like year and years ago.
Amanda: Yeah I probably ran into her parents around town. Eric: Yeah, definitely.
Amanda (as Aggie): Emily, yeah! I’m glad you’re doing this, it’s great to see you, I brought some of my year books actually from elementary school in case, I dunno. I thought it’d be fun, I can put them back in the car but—
Eric (as Emily): No! Cool! Listen you’re so, it’s your job! Sounds great, it’s awesome!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah! No—
Eric (as Emily): Thanks so much for coming!
Amanda (as Aggie): What have you been up to?
Eric (as Emily): You know? Just this and that, and lots of stuff of always planning something.
Brandon: She’s definitely a drug dealer.
Julia: Oh totally.
Eric (as Emily): No it’s great, I have to receive other people, but it was great to talk to you!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah sure! I’ll just put these in the kitchen, if you need anything take the garbage out that’s you know…
Eric (as Emily): You know it’s kind of like a warehouse so like put it wherever’s not dirty.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh yeah, I don’t get out here much but it’s definitely wow.
Eric (as Emily): I hear the concerts are fun, and loud so I’m down, sounds good to me.
Amanda (as Aggie): I’m more of a quiet with my cat type. But yeah.
Eric (as Emily): Yeah.
Eric: I think later when Milo shows up there’s like more people there, you see some people from high school, some people you’ve fallen out of touch with. This has the vibe of like a tenth high school reunion. Brandon: Milo’s walking through and saying and waving hi to folks
Brandon (as Milo): Oh Anthony! Here I got this sour, I think you’ll like it! Brandon: He gives him the beer from the six pack.
Eric (as Anthony): [in an off-brand Kermit voice] Oh thanks man, I thought I was only gonna have to drink the shitty stuff they got from the keg. But like thanks for the—
Brandon (as Milo): Nah, I remember, I remember!
Eric (as Anthony): Yeah they call me Sour Anthony.
[Everyone starts laughing]
Julia: Now I need to know what the Lake Town City equivalent to a natty light is.
Eric: I think it’s just a natty light.
Julia: Okay that’s fair.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Yeah they just have Natty here it’s stupid. You know Sour Anthony loves Sours.
Brandon (as Milo): Well you know what they say about me I’m the beer rescuer!
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Yeah, stop creeping on my Instagram, man.
Eric: He socks you on the arm, and then Val you come in late. There’s a decent amount of people, I think they got like thirty kids. Again, it’s not like a high school reunion and I say “kids” it’s like your peer group. So everyone’s around your age or some people who are siblings of people you might have gone to high school with, other people from the neighborhood for Aggie. Val do you like any of them?
Julia: No, not really.
Amanda: Oh no!
Julia: Val is kind of like the Eleanor Shellstrop of their high school where it’s like they did not want to be involved in any cliques whatsoever, they were not there to make friends. They were there to get their degree and go to SUNY LTC, that’s it.
Eric: Just go and then get out of there.
Julia: Just gotta get that communications degree, Val also notes as they walk in that this is not enough people to mosh with.
[Everyone laughing] Eric: I want all of you to make perception checks to see if you recognize anybody.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: I got a 9 +5 for 14! Eric: Alright.
Julia: I also got a 14.
Amanda: 23.
Julia: Daamn, perceptive!
Eric: We’re gonna go low to high so we’re going to start with Val here, Val you see Shannon Redwine is here, and she uh—
Brandon: Her last name is Redwine?
Eric: Her last name is Redwine. Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: It’s an old Irish last name, Brandon, don’t be offensive.
Brandon: Does she like red wine?
Eric: Probably, uh she—
Julia: Does it go to her head? Brandon: Is she tired of that joke?
Eric: Yes, she’s definitely tired of that joke, she was very popular in high school, and she was a big ‘ol bully to you. Big jerk, but she’s definitely there with some sycophant friends around her, and you can say that she hasn’t really changed so much since high school. With a 14, Milo, you see that Sour Anthony has a beer in one hand, but he also has a ziplock bag of just like snacks he brought from home and he’s been housing it like all night, like popping little somethings, like chips or something from the ziplock into his mouth.
Brandon: As Milo’s walking back from the table where he put the six pack he passes Anthony and grabs a handful.
Eric: Make a slight of hand check.
Brandon: It’s not slight of hand, he’s being bold about it. Eric: I know, make a slight of hand check.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Julia: They’re drugs. [Dice rolling]
Amanda: Oh noo.
Julia: They’re drugs, Brandon.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: You know, drugs you can smack.
Brandon: You know, just pills, pills, pills. Okay, 10?
Eric: Hmm, I think with a 10 you like tap Sour Anthony on one shoulder and he like looks away and you grab a few from the bag before he noticies and then continue on your way. Cause he was like surreptitiously eating it a little bit, it’s not like secret, but it’s more like “I brought this and this is mine” sort of way. It’s like you know Brad Pitt in the Ocean’s movies? Like he’s always just like snacking on something.
Amanda: It’s not for anyone except for him.
Eric: Exactly.
Brandon: But Milo is the kind of confident where he’s kind of like “I gave you a beer now we have a deal, so I’m gonna walk past you, take your snacks and you can’t say anything about it.”
Eric: Did you wanna just try to take it from him?
Brandon: Well, yeah, cause it’s not like he actually wants a snack, he’s just saying that this is how I bond with Anthony.
Eric: Okay, yeah, you just try to go up to him and grab a snack.
Brandon (as Milo): What up, Anthony?
Eric: And immediately he covers it. Eric (as Anthony): [Kermit voice] Hey uh uh, Milo you know this is my - uh I need this for uh, I brought this from home man, I only have a few.
Brandon (as Milo): That’s fine man, it’s okay, it’s okay! Send me the recipe later?
Eric (as Anthony): Yeah definitely! Do I still have your number?
Brandon (as Milo: Yeah, you should! It hasn’t changed.
Eric (as Anthony): It stays the same, that’s cool!
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah it hasn’t changed since, uh, the sixth grade.
Eric (as Anthony): Okay so I’ll just text you! They’re real good, it’s just they’re the only ones I have and I have a very sensitive stomach!
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, send me the recipe! I’ll make you some next time!
Eric (as Anthony): Okay!
Amanda: Sours and puppy chow only.
Eric: With a 23 I would say, I’m gonna give you two. Amanda, notice that there’s just like a horse in there?
Amanda: What?
Julia: I’m sorry?
Eric: There’s a horse in the warehouse.
Amanda: Where?
Eric: In like the back corner.
Brandon: Is it hiding?
Eric: It’s not like it’s hiding, you assume it’s for something but it’s just like there’s a horse here. Amanda: Is it okay?
Eric: Yeah! It’s fine, it’s just tied up and it’s kinda handing out.
Amanda: Does it have clean water and hay and a little bit of food?
Eric: It looks fine, but it’s just like there.
Amanda: That’s strange, okay, great!
Eric: The other thing you see, you see that there’s a guy with sunglasses on even though it’s dark, and a hat pulled down over his face and it’s for the mountain lobsters.
Amanda: Mountain lobster’s hat, and I don’t recognize them at all?
Eric: They’re trying to like look a little incognito, but you see that this person is trying to look inconspicuous. Amanda: Great, I stride over, stick out my hand and say
Amanda (as Aggie): Aggie O’Hare, nice to meet you!
Julia: But Amanda, there’s a horse loose in this warehouse.
Amanda: I’ll get to the horse, Julia, I’ll get to the horse!
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: He’s a guy with a well-maintained big beard. He’s trying to stay kind of low with a jacket up like Eric (inconspicuous person): [With a low gruff voice as the inconspicuous guy] Hey, hi uh, [A beat of silence.] Eric (as inconspicuous person): nice to meet you.
Eric: He shakes your hand.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry it’s just I know a lot of people around here, I kinda know everyone in town, who’d you come with?
Eric (as inconspicuous person): Uh, you know, I, Emily invited me so. You know, Aggie, it’s nice to - nice to, you don’t have to—
Amanda (as Aggie): No I just wanna make sure everyone feels welcome, and just like say hi and stuff. If you’re uncomfortable I can go, I just wanted to say, and yeah.
Eric (as inconspicuous person): Okay, uh
Eric: He looks around like over both shoulders.
Eric (as inconspicuous person): Can you, can you keep a secret?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah…
Eric: They take off their sunglasses and you realize that this is Fritz Brightstone, who is the leading scorer of the Mountain Lobsters. He is like a local celebrity, in the way that if I don’t know if this is a basketball reference, but it’s as if Damian Lillard was walking around Portland. They’d be like “oh shit, that’s Damian Lillard!” you know? Like he’s a local celebrity. You would know that the Brightstones also had a house here. But you didn’t know him because he immediately like, with hockey it’s like you immediately go into the juniors year juniors, and then he was like in Russia when he was 15 for a while.
Amanda: Like in Canada constantly.
Eric: Yeah and then he got drafted by the Mountain Lobsters now he’s their leading scorer, he’s around your age.
Julia: His name is Fritz Brightstone?
Eric: Yeah, Fritz Brightstone.
Amanda: Cool, cool.
Eric (as Fritz Brightstone): Yeah, so Aggie, just like, you know don’t tell people I’m here.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, no, yeah no, that’s tight I think I knew your parents and your siblings and stuff back in the day. I think you might have trained with my brother Ryan, he’s a snowboarder and a swimmer, and is always over in the training facility over in Lake Placid and like yeah, no, that’s great!
Eric (as Fritz): Oh wow, Ryan. No, no I know Ryan, we go way back he- did he ever play hockey? He picked up a stick, we were doing it for fun and we were all just playing hockey together and he was so good.
Amanda (as Aggie): He was always that way, you know, my parents made him pick two sports to concentrate on—
Eric (as Fritz): And they let him pick one with snowboarding?!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, he made a strong case and I think it was mostly for chicks to be honest with you, but uh, you know.
Eric (as Fritz): Classic Ryan, classic Ryan.
Amanda (as Aggie): He has the medals to prove it.
Eric (as Fritz): Yeah, for sure. Hey your parents sound sick, they must be very- I bet you were allowed to do whatever you want and you just like had your wild shit and then you came back for government stuff, yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know, that’s kinda how it was. I’m the oldest of the seven of us so I kinda kept the other ones in check, but you know, I’m the only one still here and, hey how’s the new stadium? It looks really sick from the outside.
Eric (as Fritz): Oh hey, can we just not, listen we can talk later, just don’t talk about the hockey stuff here. Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, okay!
Eric: And at this point Emily is like Eric (as Emily): Hi everybody! Hello!
Eric: She’s trying to get everybody’s attention, and then Fritz like slinks off to try and stay incognito.
Amanda: I give him a little nod.
Julia: I have a clarifying question.
Amanda: Yeah?
Julia: Does Ryan compete in both the Winter and Summer Olympics?
Amanda: He sure does, Julia, because Ryan doesn’t believe in the off season.
[Everyone laughing]
Julia: Good, I like Ryan.
Eric: Hundred percent, Ryan O’Hare is a monster.
Amanda: Yes, checks out.
Eric: Yeah so, Emily gets everybody’s attention
Eric (as Emily): Hello, hi everybody! Thank you so much for coming, I know this was on kind of a short notice but I wanted all of us to get together and to see each other, and you know just kind of hang out. I think you’re all kind of wondering what you’re doing here and I can say you know this is a place where all of us kind of know each other, and it’s kind of cool, and you know we can talk about Lake Town things and stuff. It’s nice to see all of you! Yeah! Lake Town!
Eric: Everyone kind of just does a tepid applause.
Brandon and Julia (as audience members): Wooo! Yeah!
Julia: Very low applause. Eric (as Sour Anthony): [in a Kermit voice] Aw hell yeah dude!
Amanda: [chanting] Moun-tain-lob-sters-moun-tain-lob-sters! Brandon: [joining in] MOUN-TAIN-LOB-STERS!
Amanda: [makes a bird cawing noise]
Brandon: What?!
Eric: Did you just caw?
Julia: I think it’s a bulublu.
Eric: [laughing] Yeah! Blululubuh, yeah you take all of your fingers and you put it near your face and go “bllululbul!” It’s very loud when you get ten thousand people in an arena.
Julia: Lot of spit.
Brandon: Uhhh.
Eric: Yeah, they uh, yeah.
Amanda: The whole stadium is a splash zone.
Eric: [laughing] The fan section is called “The Splash Zone”
Amanda: But it’s every section.
[Eric continues laughing]
Eric (as Emily): You know honestly, with there such a great turnout, I really just wanted to say, I think the people who are here, like the children of Lake Town and representatives of Lake Town City, I always thought that we were not better, but I always had a good feeling about all of us. I love our community, and I love all of you, and I think we can do something that’s really good for this town, and for this city! I’m just gonna come out and say it, uh… I can kill people with a sword.
Amanda (as Aggie): Umm… Brandon (as Milo): So can everybody!
Julia (as Val): Yeah, that’s what swords do.
Eric (as Emily): No, uh—
Amanda (as Aggie): I thought you were gonna run for mayor! This is unexpected. Eric (as Emily): I mean, yeah, eventually, but I you know while I was running all of this stuff, and I have always been really good with a sword, like moreso. I know that’s a weird thing to say in 2020, but like I’ve been studying the blade. But it’s serious—
Julia: While you were watching anime!
Eric: Yeah [chuckles]
Eric (as Emily): But here’s what I mean.
Eric: And she has like a stage crew, and these two guys pull out a punching bag, and Emily walks over to a corner where she takes out not an anime man, but it’s like a katana and it glows purple when she touches it.
Eric (as Emily): Let me show you what I mean!
Eric: She centers herself for a moment and she focuses on the punching bag and she opens the katana and closes it, nothing seems to happen. But it’s like that anime thing where you look over and then half of the punching bag just falls off with a slash.
Julia: They move so quickly.
Amanda: Where it slides away.
Eric: Yeah and then the bottom half of the punching bag just slides down.
Eric (as Emily): That’s what I mean, I’m really good at swords. I didn’t know how else to say it, I think that all of us, uh… I think all of us are really good at stuff we have a power? I’m not exactly sure where it comes from, but I think all of us can do more than we say we can! There’s some weird stuff happening in the city, and I think we can do something about it.
Brandon: Milo leans over to Val and is like
Brandon (as Milo): Yo, are you buying this?
Julia (as Val): Who the fuck are you? OH!
Brandon (as Milo): Sorry… Sorry, what? Julia: Val just kind of look at him like
Julia (as Val): You’re that nerd!
[Eric starts laughing]
Julia (as Val): You’re that dude that when the police got there last night, you fucking raised your hands.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, that’s kinda what you do when the police get there…
Amanda: Aggie spots you two and walks around the back of the crowd and says
Amanda (as Aggie): So are we gonna talk about this… Like here? Brandon (as MIlo): Talk about what?
Amanda (as Aggie): What went down last night.
Julia (as Val): Prep school Emily? No.
Brandon (as Milo): What went down last night?
Amanda (as Aggie): Saw you become a shadow, bud.
Julia (as Val): We all fuckin’ saw you there turn into a shadow and also divine shit and whatnot.
Amanda (as Aggie): And are you - do you have super speed? Is that your thing? I’m Aggie, I remember you.
Julia (as Val): Yes, we talked. I punch stuff real good.
Amanda (as Aggie): Alright cool.
Julia (as Val): Cool, you also punch stuff real good.
Amanda (as Aggie): I do punch, but also I can like anti-punch like I—
Julia (as Val): That’s fucking cool!
Eric: [laughing] I can anti-punch.
Julia (as Val): I don’t know what that means but it’s very cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah chill, okay.
Eric (as Emily): Yeah I thought it was really important to bring this up because I think we all saw the news at the auction when those guys hit the bank auction, you know those three—
Eric: And then she points at the three of you and everyone turns around.
Julia (as Val): Where’s Grift Store?! [Everyone laughing]
Julia (as Val): I thought we were gonna see a band here.
Eric (as Emily): You three obviously have it, and I know that you have connections to Lake Town. Listen, all of us are similar, we all grew up in the same place, all of our parents look super good, and we have - I know we have something. It’s something that we can do together to fight off these guys! I think if we all work together and used our, I guess, what am I gonna call it powers? I guess, if we can all use our powers for good, then we can clean up the city and be something and do something! I don’t know um…
Eric: At this point I think a few people are just kind of walking out the back, and are leaving. We’re down to about twenty people now.
Julia: Does the horse leave?
Eric: The horse is still there.
[Everyone laughing] Brandon: Thank god they didn’t take the horse on stage.
Julia: I’m convinced that the horse is one of the people.
Amanda: Yeah, yes.
Amanda (as Aggie): So do you know why someone tried to rob the bank last night?
Eric (as Emily): Yeah, you know what? I actually have a good idea, I’m pretty good at digging stuff up, I kinda know a lot of people and I know who it was. There’s a gang of guys who are all calling themselves The Nephews, they’ve been hitting up the banks over the summer. But now they did something big, they were going after the auction for some reason and a few of the guys got picked up. Who knows if they’ll stay in police custody, but we can do something about it! Like this isn’t going to be the end of it, the police aren’t doing anything. The mayor is kind of just sweeping this under the rug, we can do something! Right?
Eric: At this point more people are kind of walking out the back, we’re down to fifteen people. Julia: I have a question.
Eric: Sure,
Julia: In the news articles that were posted, was there anything about the Night of Mirrors?
Eric: Yeah they did say there were like people kicking ass, I think that’s when you all got profiled, and the Night of Mirrors was as well like [in a newsperson voice] “there was a person on a motorcycle with mirrors!” and there was also a video, because they did kick ass as well.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh! Does one of you have a reflective motorcycle? Was that someone here?
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hey? What? What, that doesn’t make any sense!
Amanda (as Aggie): Someone rode through the robbery on like a sick motorcycle, right guys?
Brandon (as Milo): Oh! I saw that in the videos yeah!
Julia (as Val): [quietly] Yeah, it was pretty sick.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, Milo, you were there!
Julia (as Val): We saw you there!
Eric (as Emily): Milo, we know you were there! We all—
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah I was there and I ran out!
Eric (as Emily): Yeah, Milo I didn’t wanna put you on blast, but there were ghosts coming out of your chest…
Brandon (as Milo): [mockingly] Uh, okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): Listen, I’ll say it, my parents are in their sixties, and they look like they’re 35, and look I brought it.
Amanda: Aggie pulls out an elementary school yearbook and a high school yearbook and in all of them they have candids of families and kids at field day and at graduations and stuff like that, and she opens to one page with a group shot of her class, kids and parents and they look identical from 1996 to when they graduated in 2008.
Eric: Oh that’s great.
Julia (as Val): This is true, my mom is still very hot.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Yeah-yeah she is!
Brandon (as Milo): Wait... wait… hold up—
Julia (as Val): [Yelling] Shut the fuck up, Sour Anthony!
Eric (as Sour Anthony): No you shut the fuck up, Val! Julia (as Val): I will punch you in the face.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Oh I bet you will! Yeah come over here I bet—
Brandon (as Milo): Alright, alright—
(Everyone yelling)
Brandon (as Milo): Stop, STOP. Hang on, hang on!
Julia: I punch you in the face.
Eric: Alright, do you wanna get in the middle?
Brandon: Yeah, I’m trying to—
Eric: Alright so everyone’s gonna make [laughing] a strength roll—
Amanda: Not me!
Eric: Sour Anthony, I’m gonna roll for Sour Anthony.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: So that is a 13!
Brandon: Milo got a 2.
Amanda: Aww babe.
Julia: [laughing] We’re just gonna knock you down.
Eric: So order of operations, first you just, Val what do you do to Milo?
Julia: I think I just sweep him to the side.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, okay, okay, okay, I am getting outta the way now!
Julia: It’s not a rage,
Brandon (as Milo): You are very large and strong.
Eric: You try to get your—
Julia: I am very smol and strong.
Brandon (as Milo): You are very small and strong.
Eric: Very dense, like a neutron star! You try to get your hands on Sour Anthony, but he seamlessly moves backwards and you see that he’s levitating three feet over the ground.
Brandon (as Milo): Ohhh my god.
Julia (as Val): That is fuckin’ cool, not gonna lie. Eric (as Sour Anthony): I told you not to fuck with me! That’s what you’re gonna get!
Julia (as Val): Listen, I’ll fuck with you.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Sour Anthony ride again! Sour waves, baby!
Amanda (as Aggie): Is that your horse?
Julia (as Val): Just cause you can float doesn’t mean I can’t fuck with you, I’m just sayin’. Also Aggie asked a very important question, what is up with the fuckin’ horse?
Brandon (as Milo): There’s a horse?! Oh my god!
Eric: [laughing] The horse looks up and is like
Eric (as the horse): [with a cajun accent] Oh I did not think that anyone would be able to see me, I just a horse standin’ over here!
Julia (as Val): WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?!
Amanda (as Aggie): [surprised] WHAT?!
[Julia laughing]
Julia (as Val): I can deal with levitating Sour Anthony, I cannot deal with a talking horse.
Brandon (as Milo): I cannot deal with literally any of this.
Eric: At this point the horse changes again into a guy about your age who’s just like tech slacker as hell—
Amanda: Oh. My.
Eric: With a hoodie and sweatpants on, with flip flops, even though it’s fall.
Amanda (as Aggie): Man why did you open as a horse?!
Eric (as tech slacker): [Continuing in a cajun accent] I don’t know I just thought it would be a good idea as [it becomes nonsensical cajun fillers]
Julia (as Val): What’s wrong with your mouth dude?
Eric (as tech slacker): [thicker cajun accent] Look when you become an animal for that long, you forget how to English right.
Eric (as Emily): Yeah.. I know about the horse, I knew about the [sighs] I knew about the horse. Gordon, Gordon I told you to stop, for you to just be a horse and not talk about this.
Eric (as Gordon): [Nonsensical cajun fillers]
Brandon (as Milo): Alright, I am just gonna leave now… Um… This is too weird. Um.
Julia: Val just reaches over—
Eric: At the horse part lots of people have cleared out, so right now, Aggie make a perception check.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: 21!
Eric: Alright with a 21, you see that Fritz is still like lurking in the back, he had tried to walk out while everyone did but now he is legitimately lurking outside. He just had his head peeked in now.
Julia: When Milo goes to leave, Val grabs him by the collar and is like Julia (as Val): No no, ghost boy.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay! Small strong. Guess I’m staying ookaaay.
Amanda: Can I do like an insight check to see how trustworthy this crowd feels?
Eric: Yeah, you wanna do the crowd?
Amanda: Yeah, [dice rolling] 16.
Eric: Alright with a 16, what do you mean the crowd? Ask some questions.
Amanda: Would I be safe here admitting something secret? Does it feel like everybody is here to support each other, or does it feel like there’s a skittish or disbelieving energy?
Eric: I think Emily’s trying really hard to make it seem welcome and open, and a lot of people who didn’t want to deal with this for whatever reason have left. So the people who are still here for the most part that you’ve clocked have already revealed themselves, and right now we’re pretty much down to Sour Anthony— Julia: Jesus.
Eric: The three of you, Emily, and Gordon the horse guy, and you see Fritz is lurking in the back. Julia: I am not starting a superhero team with Sour Anthony and Gordon, I’m sorry.
Brandon: It could’ve been like Porter Anthony. [laughs]
Julia: Could’ve been.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh is anyone drunk yet? Or sick, have like a cold, or the flu?
Eric (as Sour Anthony): No I’m good man!
Julia (as Val): I would love to be drunk right now.
Brandon (as Milo): I’ve got some beers over there, I brought.
Eric (as Emily): There’s literally a whole keg, I guess we’re all gonna share that.
Brandon (as Milo): Or some local IPA’s, porters, and stouts… Julia (as Val): I was gonna go do a keg stand real quick.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: You can definitely just do that, I’ll let you just do that, just hounding some beer.
Brandon: Constitution roll or?
Eric (as Emily): Listen, [sighs] I don’t know, this isn’t like comics, this is real like okay? But there’s some weird stuff going down, we need to take down The Nephews and no one would know better about them than us, like they’re based out of Historic Lake Town.
Amanda (as Aggie): No, I’m serious, any cuts, or bruises? Guy in the back, looks like you get into some scraps sometimes. Eric: Gordon steps up and he turns into a dog, and Fritz is like
Eric (as Fritz): Uh, should I do you want me to uh— Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah I just have to show you something, do you have a bruise on your arm or something?
Eric (as Fritz): Yeah, you know I kind of in my [pause] job… I get bruises…
Amanda (as Aggie): Don’t care what your job is buddy, just come here.
Eric (as Fritz): Okay.
Amanda: Aggies steps into the middle of the group.
Eric: Fritz steps forward, do you guys care to make perceptions check on this man?
Julia: Yes, yes, yes!
Brandon: Yeah! [Dice rolling]
Julia: I got a 10.
Brandon: 16 total!
Eric: I think with a 10, Val you don’t recognize this guy. Julia: Aw.
Eric: But with a 16 you’re like “why is this man hiding himself? He looks familiar” You get a sense he looks familiar.
Brandon (as Milo): Yes… I’ve seen you somewhere. Amanda (as Aggie): None from you, thank you.
Amanda: Aggie lays her hand on Fritz’s forearm which there’s a greenish bruise on the side of his bicep and there’s a little zap almost, like a spark jumping from an outlet, and the bruise slowly fades back to his normal skin tone.
Eric (as Fritz): Wow thanks, I really needed that, it was hurting, thanks… From my job. That I have.
Amanda (as Aggie): That’s a thing that happens to me!
Eric (as Emily): Alright, okay, we’re getting somewhere this is good!
Brandon (as Milo): Okay so your parents are the same people from thirty, twenty years ago and you heal bruises. Okay! Taking it all in alright.
Eric (as Emily): You’re taking it all in? You’re the guy who had a ghost hand come out of his body.
Brandon (as Milo): That… What?
Eric: She digs up the video and shows it to you happening.
Amanda (as Aggie): Ah! It’s the same jacket woah!
Brandon (as Milo): Look, I can’t do anything, I cannot do anything.
Julia (as Val): You know man, it’s cool. My aunt had the sight once, like back in the day, so if you talk to ghosts and shit that’s cool, that’s fine. You know?
Brandon (as Milo): I haven’t talked to any ghosts!
Julia: Can I do an insight check!
Eric: Yeah, do an insight check, I’m going to give you advantage.
Julia: Thank you!
[Dice rolling]
Julia: It’s a 12.
Eric: Here’s the thing, even with a 12, Emily is holding the video of Milo doing this and there is Milo. Like you saw him in person.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, okay, okay. Alright, alright, I cannot do anything I am not like y’all apparently. I do none of this, none of this is me.
Amanda (as Aggie): So what happens to you then?
Brandon (as Milo): I hear some people, and things happen, and there’s a cat.
Julia (as Val): It’s what I said my aunt had the sight it’s the same thing— THERE’S A CAT? There were no ghost cats with my aunt, I’m just sayin’.
[Julia laughing]
Eric (as Emily): Is that where the panther came from?
Julia (as Val): Oh yeah, what the fuck with the panther?
Brandon (as Milo): That was a mistake um…
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh—
Brandon (as Milo): But look, I don’t do any of it, I don’t have any of the things that you guys do.
Eric (as Emily): Listen, I just think we should do something and if anyone here wants to help me, I can pay.
Brandon (as Milo): Look, I-
Julia (as Val): Oh eh, pay?!
Eric (as Emily): I can pay, I have I— we choose three or four of you to come with me, I have $10,000 for each of you.
Brandon and Amanda (as Milo and Aggie): WHAT?
Julia (as Val): Are we talking like a salary position or is this like a commission thing or?
Eric (as Emily): I think it’s like commission while it’s happening, if we get this done and we kick their asses, then I think I can give you the full $10,000. Brandon (as Milo): Where-where did you get like $50,000 to just throw?
Eric (as Emily): Look I got- don’t worry about it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, I can’t quite do that. What is our commission on exactly? If we find stolen merchandise we’re gonna have to return it.
Eric (as Emily): No, I know, we’re gonna return it. We’re gonna put them away!
Brandon (as Milo): Where?! We don’t have a jail!
Eric (as Emily): We’re gonna take down The Nephews and we’re gonna like tie them up and then the police are gonna find them and be like [in a kermit voice] oh nice! Thanks for taking care of them! [Goes back to regular voice] that’s what we’re gonna do.
Amanda (as Aggie): That’s not how— Emily, I just, before I sign off on something like this, you know that keeping Lake Town safe is like my whole thing, but I gotta know why. Like these guys robbed the bank sure but I need to make sure that what we’re doing is for the right reasons and I dunno about breaking the law, but we’ll get there when we have to get there.
Eric (as Emily): Okay, fine alright, um. The Nephews before were just like some punks that were hanging out on the dock and scaring people who would come to Historic Lake— Aggie, you’ve seen them before, those guys that hang out on the docks late at night doing whatever, but they’re organizing. They have a name now and I think that has to do with Ma’s shutting down. But they’re into some weird stuff, but they have things, like where do these goons get tech like that? They get a jet pack? They have lasers and stuff?
Amanda (as Aggie): They did blow up a safe with a computer, that’s true.
Eric (as Emily): That’s, yes! That would be some of the weird stuff, I don’t know who they’re getting this from but they’re collecting money, they’re collecting stuff for something, I want to figure it out, and I want to take them down.
Julia (as Val): We’re all just cool handing people over to the cops? Because I’m not sure that’s a environment I want to be employed in.
Brandon (as Milo): Why?
Eric (as Emily): You can be gone by the time that they’re tied up, it’s fine.
Julia (as Val): You shut up.
[Julia and Brandon laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): That’s just what I’m saying we need to take care of our own problems but you don’t just jump to conclusions around here.
Eric (as Emily): Alright, fine, we’ll scope it out then we’ll take them down. That’s fine, we can use some more recon, I do need more people. I can’t just do this by myself this is all I know. Everything I told you is what I know. Amanda (as Aggie): Really gotta know who the mirror motorcyclist is because that person has infrastructure, you know what I mean?
Julia (as Val): Mmhmm
Eric (as Emily): I- yeah I don’t know who that is, but we can find that guy too. Let’s do it together! I can’t do it alone! Okay?
Julia (as Val): I’m not working with Sour Anthony. [Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): That’s my stipulation!
Eric (as Sour Anthony): [kermit voice] Hey that’s fine I didn’t wanna work with you anyway.
Julia (as Val): Fine, fuck you.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): I’ll work on my own! I don’t even wanna help you, I don’t wanna work with Val.
Amanda (as Aggie): Work on your own on what?
Eric (as Sour Anthony): I’m just gonna go work on my own thing, it’s fine.
Julia (as Val): What are you gonna do? Float at them?
Eric (as Sour Anthony): YEAH! I’m gonna fly!
Eric: And he takes more of his snacks and—
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Yeah I’m gonna fly and take them down.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay look, I don’t know how I can be helpful, but this does sound fun.
Julia (as Val): Maybe with some weird ghost shit I dunno. Eric (as Emily): I’ll take it, fine. Good enough, well, I’m great I’m glad so many of you want to be apart of—
Brandon (as Milo): You’re really good at eBay.
Eric (as Emily): Good I guess the ghosts will tell you about—
Brandon (as Milo): Can we talk later about that?
Julia (as Val): About eBay?
Eric (as Emily): about eBay?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I just have some questions.
Eric (as Emily): Uhh we can talk about—
Brandon (as Milo): Just do the power thing, keep going.
Eric (as Emily): Okay, I’ll do the power thing, okay so—
Julia (as Val): Is this your way of flirting? I’m just trying to get a read on you my dude.
Brandon (as Milo): Definitely not.
Julia (as Val): Okay, good.
Eric (as Emily): Alright we’ll talk about eBay. Julia (as Val): Cause I would be extremely concerned.
Eric (as Emily): Alright well before we go I do need to see what you all can do so um… Let’s all do something fun together, let’s do the obstacle course!
[Techno arcade music starts playing]
Eric: And then the lights in the rest of the warehouse come on and you can see that there’s like an American Ninja Warrior style set-up behind you. Eric (as Emily): I just need to see what you can do, so uh, how about the top four people who do the course wins!
Julia (as Val): Hey Slaughter? Why do you have so much capital? Where are you getting money from?
Julia: Eyeroll.
Eric (as Emily): Alright! Last one there is a rotten egg! GO!
[Suspenseful electronic music playing]
[Theme music]