The trio race to complete Emily Slaughter's obstacle course before the rest of the powered competition. But who said they're working together? Aggie remodels. Milo gets a hand up. Val picks up the slack.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time, on Join the Party…
Eric: Our party tries to recoup after the wild day they had and go about their normal lives. But I guess nothing is really normal anymore… All three of them get invited to a mixer thrown by local busy-body Emily Slaughter at a cool warehouse in the hipster district. The mixer isn’t what it seems when Emily reveals her own power, her deathness with a glowing purple katana. More of the guests reveal their power including Sour Anthony, a glowing man with a wild voice, and a chill bro who can turn into different animals and speak. Emily gives everyone the opportunity to make $10,000 if they go with her on a mission to clean up the city, but first they need to compete on this America Ninja Warrior-style obstacle course, more like Lake Town City Powered Warrior! Am I right? Let’s get the party started.
[theme music]
[suspenseful techno music]
Eric: You are in a warehouse on the edges of hipster-ville, Emily Slaughter has offered money for you to take down The Nephews with her, but first y’all gotta run the weird obstacle course that she put in this warehouse!
Amanda: How big is this warehouse?!
Eric: It’s very like, it’s the size of a warehouse!
[Eric laughing]
Amanda: There was a horse there we didn’t notice right away!
Julia: It’s a big warehouse!
Brandon: At least the size of a horse.
Eric: Alright, I want everyone to start by rolling initiative.
Julia: I established in the last episode that I’m already in a rage.
Eric: Fine.
[dice rolling]
Brandon: So am I, I’m also in a rage.
Amanda: 18!
Eric: Like personally?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: 11.
Brandon: 14.
Eric: Okay,
Julia: That’s a good roll for you, Brandon!
Amanda: Good job!
Brandon: Wow! It started off strong!
[Julia laughing]
Amanda: I’m sorry that you waste all your good rolls on initiative.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: That’s true, that’s actually 100% true.
[dice rolls]
Eric: HAH!
Amanda: Oh no, it’s that thing where Eric does something we can’t see, laughs and then types a lot.
Julia: I’m hoping it’s a 2 for Sour Anthony.
Amanda: Fuck Sour Anthony.
Julia: Fuck Sour Anthony!!
Eric: Alright, so the way that initiative is going to work for the obstacle course, because you’re not fighting each other, everyone’s going to be running the obstacle course at the same time. Your initiative is pretty much gonna say where you are in this race of the obstacle course but I’m going to basically read out what the obstacle is and you can all decide if you wanna make any rolls or if you just wanna go ahead and just fuckin’ do it. I can tell you what exactly it takes to do said obstacle, if you get stuck in a stage you will be hung back and you’re gonna be separated out of that part of the initiative. But everyone who’s on the same stage is going to go together.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yeah so Emily starts by saying
Eric (as Emily): Last one there is a rotten egg!
Eric: Then just starts running and it’s that thing where like one person runs so everyone’s feet just go “huuuuuhhh!” And just starts running, so Aggie you end up breaking out in front of Emily and you are out in first. Emily is in second, Milo you’re in third, Val you are in fourth, and coming up the rear you have Gordon as a dog just a floppy basset hound running behind you —
[Everyone laughing]
Amanda: Awwww.
Eric: Sour Anthony is still floating, not as fast as you think he would and Aggie, you turn around and you see that Fritz was trying to break like trying to leave, but then his competitive spirit took over and so he's like
Eric (as Fritz): (in a lower gruff voice) Oh I’m a professional athlete I should definitely win this.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: So he’s bringing up the rear and hoofing it now, but he’s starting from the door so he’s pretty far behind from everyone now.
Julia: Impressive!
Brandon: Sour Anthony can propel himself while floating?
Eric: Yeah!
Brandon: So he can fly?
Eric: He can fly, but right now he’s just choosing to hover and it seems like hovering is less fast than running.
Julia: Interesting…
Amanda: I hope that Sour Anthony over time just evolves into Bitter Tony.
Julia: (laughing) Jesus.
Eric: Alright so the first stage of the American Ninja Warrior obstacle course STAGE ONE! Is just one of those I don’t know if any of you have watched American Ninja Warrior but there are those pads that are on a diagonal and you have to jump from one pad to another pad. Unfortunately though, you know how in American Ninja Warrior everything has water on the ground?
Julia: Mmmhm!
Eric: I don’t know if Emily just didn’t have enough time to set this whole thing up, but there’s like one pad you might have on the ground. You know like in cheer how the padding should be there but it’s really just hard floor, it’s like that.
Brandon: Seems fun.
Julia: Seems real safe.
Eric: Everyone’s gonna roll acrobatics rolls.
Amanda: Can I first cast sanctuary on myself?
Eric: Sure, what does that do?
Amanda: It basically wards me against any attacks or harmful spells, if they come at me they have to make a wisdom saving throw. If they succeed then they are immune from my sanctuary for a full hour, but if they fail they have to choose a new target or lose the attack or spell.
Eric: Cool, so what does it look like when you cast sanctuary on yourself?
Amanda: I’m the same way that there’s little sparks that kind of hovered between my hand and Fritz when I healed his bruise, it’s almost like it starts at the top of my head and kind of ripples downward as if I am being I don’t know, scanned but a laser, only instead it’s like a little rows of orange sparkles that are moving down my body briefly.
Eric: I like that you’re out in front going oh let me put my buff on and it’s cascading down. Yeah that’s intimidating definitely. Does anyone else want to do anything before we hit this obstacle?
Julia: I wanna Hulk-jump over them.
Eric: You wanna Hulk— how!? What exactly is that?!
Julia: You jump on the first one and then just like big squat and then leap over the rest of them.
[Eric laughing]
Eric: Okay! Val you can do yours with strength but your dc is going to be much higher than everyone else’s.
Julia: That’s fine!
Eric: Milo, what’re you doing?
Brandon: As we run up to the obstacle Milo’s eye color changes and he feels that—
Eric: Oh! He’s goin’ ghost!!
Brandon: He feels that energy pulse within him then center on his stomach and then casts entangle for the two people in front of me grasping weeds and vines—
Amanda (as Aggie): MILO!
Brandon: Right from the ground in a twenty foot square starting from the point within range—
Amanda (as Aggie): What did we ever do to you?!
Eric: OH TWENTY FOOT. Twenty foot square! Alright!
Julia: Jesus.
Brandon: For the duration these plants turn the ground in the area into difficult terrain and a creature within the area must succeed in a strength saving throw or be restrained by the entangling plants until the spell ends.
Eric: Alright so I think everyone’s gonna have to make— INCLUDING YOU! You know you’re gonna have to pass through it too!
Brandon: No I’m not, I’m gonna run around it, I cast it I know where it is.
[Eric and Brandon laughing]
Eric: [laughing] He’s gonna run around it.
Julia: I don’t know if you can run around it when it’s uh—
Brandon: It’s only twenty feet! It's not that big. I’m sure the people behind me probably also see it.
Julia: I like the idea of Milo—
Eric: Twenty feet is very— IT’S LARGE!
Julia: I like the idea of Milo being like I’m not gonna do this, and then walks around it.
Brandon: It’s like three red shells where the people in front of me don’t see it cause I’m gonna cast it right below them but the people behind me probably will see it as they come up and just run around it.
Eric: That’s interesting, okay so the three people in front as you pass forward what happens if they fail? Do they get stuck?
Brandon: Yeah they get entangled until my spell ends or they can use their action to make a strength check and on a success they can free themselves.
Eric: Okay cool, so let’s start by doing that the only people in front of Milo are Aggie and Emily. So let’s do strength checks for them.
[dice rolling]
Julia: I love that the competitive nature is coming out real early in this one, huh?
Milo: It’s not me, I can’t control it!
Julia: Suuure.
Amanda: [defeatedly] I got a 6…
Julia: Aww.
Eric: Well Emily also rolled a 1.
Julia: Oh jesus.
Brandon: So they had to beat a 13.
Eric: So yeah, I think Emily and Aggie are just sprinting ahead trying to break out and Emily is like
Eric (as Emily): Aw yeah! Aw yeah everyone wants to do this, this is so great!
Eric: Then all of a sudden in front of the obstacle, just grasping ghostly hands are coming up like
Eric (as ghost hands): [in ghostly tease] oh no you can’t go! [laughing] You’re not gonna be able to participate!
Brandon: They’re not talking—
Eric (as ghost hands): OooooooOOOO! Amanda (as Aggie): [sarcastically] Mr. I left before the ghost shit started happening, okay.
Brandon (as Milo): [panicked] I’M SORRY! IT’S NOT ME, I CAN’T HELP IT! I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING!
Eric (as Emily): Oh bullshit!
Julia (as Val): Suuuure.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): [in a Kermit the Frog voice] Oh that’s bullshit! I just [garbled words]
Brandon (as Milo): I can’t control it!
Eric: A twenty foot square is very big and if you’ve seen American Ninja Warrior, you need to go to the entrance of it, so everyone who is behind, I’m gonna give advantage on being able to go through because it’s not like you can avoid it but I think that if you know what’s coming you’d be able to do it so I’d even say that everyone behind also is going to roll strength saving throws including Milo, with advantage.
Juila: So I have a question,
Eric: Yes?
Julia: Rage gives me advantage already on strength checks, do I roll double advantage?
Eric: [laughing] No. You’re gonna roll with advantage.
Julia: Ah damnit.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: So that is a 12? That’s a 12. I shouldn’t have blessed your dice before this.
Brandon: I know, I rolled an 18. It’s all Julia’s fault for blessing my dice.
Julia: Mmmhmm.
Eric: Alright so even before the obstacle course happens, Milo throws down this patch of ghostly hands and Aggie, Emily, Val, and Gordon the dog are all held there.
Amanda: God damnit.
Julia: Aww fuckin’ Sour Anthony, floated over it didn’t he?
Eric: Sour Anthony floated right over it, and as you’re all held there, Fritz just kinda like plows he lowers his shoulder and plows his way through.
Julia: Bastard.
Eric: So now Milo, Sour Anthony, and Fritz are all going to attempt the obstacle of jumping. Everyone make a dexterity roll.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Oh jeeze.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: Yep. I got a 5 +2 for a 7.
Eric: Alright so [laughing] immediately Milo you’re like
Eric (as Milo): Aw fuck these guys I’m gonna do that.
Eric: So you try to hop from one, then you hop to the other and immediately your feet slip off as you try to jump from one to the other.
Brandon (as Milo): Yup! This seems right!
Eric: You just beef it super hard
Julia (as Val): I don’t believe in karma but that was karmaaa!
Eric: You also take seven points of damage.
Julia: Ooooo!
Eric: You just go face-first on the not so soft ground.
Amanda: As we’re trying to take ourselves out of these ghostly hands, I turn to Val and go
Amanda (as Aggie): I like you bud.
[Eric laughing]
Julia (as Val): Right back atcha!
Eric: At this point Sour Anthony just glides right on through, doesn’t even touch anything.
Julia (as Val): Hey that’s cheating!
Eric (as Sour Anthony): [Kermit voiced] Oh hey! It’s literally the only thing I can do, I think it's okay.
Julia (as Val): That’s cheating!
Eric: And Fritz definitely hops from one to the other.
Eric (as Fritz): [in a low gruff tone] Oh that’s right I’m an athletic person.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Alright so now Sour Anthony and Fritz are onto the second obstacle, and the five of you, Milo, Aggie, Val, Emily, and Gordon the dog are all stuck here. And then Milo you gotta run back around.
Brandon: Or do it?
Eric: Yes you do.
Brandon: I mean, hang on, they didn’t tell us any rules, they didn’t say that up front.
Eric: Alright
Brandon: I have a way around that—
Julia: You wanna cheat your way through?!
Eric: You wanna hop— you have to hop back onto the thing so if you wanna try to hop back onto—
Brandon: Well I have other magic you know.
Eric: Sounds dumb and bad.
Julia: Magic sounds dumb.
Eric: Oh first before you do this, roll your spirit surge roll please.
Brandon: Oh! Yeah!
[Dice rolling]
Julia: OH MY GOD.
Brandon: I got a 1.
Amanda: HE GOT A 1! BRANDON! You brought this on yourself!
Eric: Alright, please roll a d10.
Julia: Jesus.
Amanda: Good lord…
Brandon: Oh it’s really funny.
Amanda: I know there’s no stakes at all to this but I still wanna win.
Brandon: I got a 3.
Julia: Uh oh.
[Eric laughing maniacally]
[Amanda and Julia joining in]
Eric:Oh you doofus, okay so the ghost hand that is coming out of your chest has now shot the grasping hands on the ground and you’re looking back you’re so satisfied with yourself and you beef it and take 7 points of damage. But the hand doesn’t go away—
Brandon: You’re putting a lot of cockiness on Milo that doesn’t exist.
Eric: I think Milo was pretty stoked with himself is that not true?
Brandon: No!! No!
Eric: Then why did Milo entangle people?
Brandon: He doesn’t have control over his power yet. It just happens. It’s cause he—
Julia: Brandon the player entangled people not Milo the character.
Brandon: Yeah cause he wanted it to happen in his head but he doesn’t know how to do it, it just happens cause the spirits understand what he wants so—
Eric: Do I control Milo as an NPC, you control the spirits that flow through him?
[Julia laughing]
[beat of silence]
Brandon: No I control both of them—
Eric: Alright so the spirits inside of Milo want him to win very badly.
Brandon: Yes!
Eric: So he shoots the grasping hands out and now the hand shoots directly below at Milo’s feet. It’s kind of like scanning him upwards and downwards, and unfortunately—
Brandon: Is this like a TSA pat down?!
Eric: You know it seems like it and you’re like
Eric (as Milo): Uh what’s it doing…
Eric: And you’re like
Eric (as Milo): Thanks ghost in my chest!
Eric: Then you start running and you can’t, you can’t move your legs.
Brandon: I’m just frozen?
Eric: You’re frozen in place.
Julia: Oh my god.
Brandon (as Milo): Great!
Amanda (as Aggie): Serves you right!
Eric: Unfortunately if this was initiative I’d say you’d be frozen in place for three turns.
Brandon: Three turns?!
Eric: For three turns!
Brandon: Can I still like do things?
Eric: You can still do things, you just can’t move. So right now you’re just in the middle of this obstacle course staying there. Do you want to do something else with your magic?
Brandon: Well that means no I’m not going to because I’m gonna try to keep them frozen.
Eric: Okay alright so now everyone is going to make strength saving throws you have to beat a 13.
Brandon: Mhm!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Alright well I rolled a 14, so I’m not even gonna try— actually I’ll roll, I get advantage on strength saving throws.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I got a 9.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Oh okay yeah, I got a 2 on the second one so…
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I’ll spend a luck point and reroll that.
Eric: Alright.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: So total was a non nat 19.
Eric: Nice.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I got a 21 after rerolling
Eric: Aw hell yeah dog.
Julia: Ohh yeaah.
Eric: So unfortunately dogs have bad strength—
Amanda: Awwwwww
Eric: So both of you and Emily are now broken out so now you three are going to make your dexterity rolls to get past—
Julia: I would still like to Hulk-jump over.
Eric: That’s true, okay.
Julia: Um I actually, I’m gonna be nice. I’m gonna as I’m Hulk-jumping over —
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I did good, don’t worry about me!
Julia: Great, I’m going to grab Milo and like throw him over my shoulder.
[Eric bursts out laughing]
Julia (as Val): I like you better than Sour Anthony!
[Amanda and Eric laughing]
Julia (as Val): So we’re gonna do this together!
Eric: Alright so first I wanna see if you can make the Hulk-jump.
Julia: Alright, can you tell me what the DC is or nah?
Eric: Uhh I’ll give you, what’s your strength modifier?
Julia: It’s a 5,
Eric: A 5 okay,
Amanda: Oh mine too!
Eric: Alright I’m gonna say this is a DC 18 roll.
Julia: Okay!
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Well I hit DC 18 on my first roll.
Brandon: Nice!
Eric: Alright, I’ll give that to you! Now I want you to make a slight of hand roll cause I think you’ll be able to grab a nerd, but I want to see if you can hold onto him so make a slight of hand roll.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: That is a 17 +3 so a non nat 20.
Brandon: NICE!
Eric: Hot damn.
Amanda: Ayyyy!
Eric: Emily got a 19 so all three of you now are just jumping like oh I know how to do this! You’re jumping from side to side—
Julia: Except me!
Eric: Val what does this look like?!
Julia: I just squat down real low, and my legs vibrate extra, extra fast, and I just leap to the last one.
[Everyone laughing]
Amanda: A standing leap?!
Julia: While grabbing Milo—
Brandon (as Milo): This is extremely impressive!
Julia: While throwing him over my shoulder.
Brandon (as Milo): I owe you like thirty!
Eric: That’s amazing, alright well you’re all moved on from obstacle one, and I’ll give you I think you’re out in front now. With Milo—
Julia: Hell yeah!
Eric: Cause that was pretty sick, and now Aggie and Emily, I’ll give you Aggie you’re out in front of Emily and you’re now done with obstacle one.
Amanda: Where’s Fritz?
Eric: Fritz and Sour Anthony are onto obstacle two!
Amanda: Gotcha.
Eric: Which you see there is like an army crawling tunnel in front of you, and it looks just kinda like a very oversized version of like those trampoline obstacle courses that you might have at a state fair that you can run through and it’s oversized so you have to army crawl through.
Julia: Ookay.
Eric: Is there anything that the three of you wanna do before you go in there?
Amanda: How does it compare to the dog version of the agility course tunnel?
Brandon: Thank you!
Eric: Thank you, it’s like that, yeah. Let’s say it’s like that.
Brandon: It’s like a dog agility course.
Julia: It’s a shame that Gordon didn’t get through the first obstacle.
Amanda: I know.
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda: Poor Gordo, never thought I’d say that.
Eric: Can the three of you tell me your HP?
Julia: Ooo yes, uh 32!
Amanda: 24.
Brandon: 14!
Eric: 14…
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: Okay yeah so you’re coming up on the army crawling portion is there anything you would like to do you just wanna barrel through?
Julia: Hmmm.
Amanda: Can I do a perception check on the architecture of this challenge? So folks may not know that I have a power called superpower which means I get more details on perception checks of either floor plans or like building engineering.
Eric: It’s literally a super power.
Brandon: That’s very funny and good!
Amanda: But the problem is that if I pose as a super to get into a building that I shouldn’t be in I have to roll and if I fail I have to actually fix something in that building for that person.
Eric: Yeah that’s the only other way you’ll be able to get in yeah.
Julia: [laughing] That is extremely funny.
Amanda: But in this case I’ll make a perception check?
Eric: Yeah make a perception check for how this fits into the warehouse, that’s great.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: Ooo good, that’s a 19 +4.
Eric: Okay 23, this was definitely put in very quickly I don’t know if the person knows its up to code and if Emily did it, it’s like did Emily run this before?
Amanda: Right.
Eric: It seems like it’s still very new and nice. It doesn’t seem like Emily probably ran this before, it’s just like Emily getting it in there as quickly as possible.
Amanda: Okay, so do I see any obvious points of weakness where if I could say pull out one of the lincoln logs the whole thing would collapse?
Eric: Yeah you can see that if you look up there are some things that are hanging from the roof, I think there is one in particular in front of you, you see that there is a speaker that’s playing a—
Amanda: She rigged up an AV system?!
Eric: Yeah there’s a speaker that’s playing into the army tunnel it—
Amanda: What’s it playing?!
Eric: Right now it’s playing Enya which is like “sail away, sail away, sail away”
Brandon: That’s very relaxing.
Amanda: What a strange mood.
Eric: Yeah it’s incredibly relaxing.
Amanda: Julia looks so offended.
Julia: I’m so confused.
[Amanda laughing]
Eric: I think with a 23 if you wanna ask one more specific question, I can give that to you. Are you looking to take something apart?
Amanda: Yeah, I think I’m going to try as I’m going through to pull it down on whoever’s behind me.
Julia: Hey!
Eric: Interesting, okay, I will give that to you as you go through because the way that it’s set up I just don’t think you have a good sense of—like it’s supposed to be a surprise as you go to each one. So I can’t tell you the next one but if you do wanna, I can give you advantage if you’re looking for something to fuck shit up.
Amanda: Sure. The four people I’d like to finish are Milo, Val, Fritz, and me and—
Julia: Same.
Amanda: I’m gonna try to kind of throw the tunnel so that I stay behind those guys but in front of the others.
Eric: I will say related to the speaker you see that it’s just like really cracked concrete on the floor except for one spot that definitely looks a liiiittle depressed.
Amanda: Okay, I’m gonna avoid that one.
Eric: Okay, do you other two wanna do anything? Milo you have two more turns of not being able to run.
Brandon: When Val moved me it didn’t break the spell?
Eric: I assume you have him over your shoulder?
Julia: Yeah, I think I’m gonna switch him over to backpack mode.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: Gotcha okay okay.
Eric: So now you and Val are synonymous at the moment, so you can still do stuff, you just can’t move your legs.
Brandon: I am going to use my wild companion and try to get Tuna back in this game.
Amanda: Tunaa!!
Brandon: I’m gonna say
Brandon (as Milo): Val this is gonna be weird don’t-don’t hold this against me, TUNAAA PLEASE HELP!
Julia (as Val): Why are you calling for a fish?
Brandon (as Milo): It’s my cat… Uh oof you’re not gonna be able to see them, it’s fine but they are there I promise!
Eric: Tuna pops up on your left shoulder. I would say Val you can see that there is now this really stretched out orange cat on Milo’s shoulder.
Amanda: So Tuna on top of Milo on top of Val is what’s happening?
Eric: Yeah! It’s literally a Tuna sandwich.
Brandon: So Val can see—
Brandon and Eric: [realizing the pun] OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: You almost ran over that joke!
Amanda: It’s open faced and Brandon is the cream cheese!
Eric: So now all of a sudden there’s a cat.
Brandon: So Val can see them?
Eric: Val can yeah.
Brandon: Oohh okay.
Julia (as Val): What—what is? There is a cat?!
Brandon (as Milo): You can see my Tuna?
Julia (as Val): There is a cat...
Eric (as Tuna): [Whining] I was stretching. I was asleep. What do you want?
Julia (as Val): This is kind of adorable.
Brandon (as Milo): Hi Tuna welcome back we’re in the middle of an obstacle course here I would really like your help maybe you can find some shortcuts maybe you could like I don’t know knock some people over, trip them, I dunno. Apparently Val can see you now, so maybe you can also trip some people who knows?
Eric (as Tuna): [Groggily] I just woke up tell me one thing to do also meeoow.
[Everyone starts laughing]
Julia: This is adorable.
Brandon (as Milo): Meow?
Eric: Tuna looks over at Val and is like
Eric (as Tuna): You can see me?
Julia (as Val): You’re extremely cute.
Eric (as Tuna): Thank you, that’s all I ever wanted—
Brandon (as Milo): Don’t Val, don’t, no no no no no.
Eric (as Tuna): Please Val, keep going I love it.
Julia (as Val): So adorable I will chin scritches after we finish this obstacle course.
Eric (as Tuna): I hope that is a thing that is possible okay—
Julia (as Val): I will try my best I am very strong.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric (as Tuna): Just give me one thing to do.
Brandon (as Milo): Can you just find like an, I dunno shortcuts or like an end obstacle course button.
Eric (as Tuna): Oh yeah, uh.
Julia (as Val): There’s also a terrible man named Sour Anthony if you wanted to mess up with him, that would be fine with me. I know I’m not your owner? I guess?
Eric (as Tuna): Listen nobody owns me—
Brandon (as Milo): Nobody owns Tuna.
Julia (as Val): Okay, nobody owns you, no one can own a cat I understand that. That is what my grandmother always said.
[Amanda laughing]
Eric (as Tuna): I am my own person. I’m so sleepy.
Julia (as Val): You’re also a cat.
Eric (as Tuna): I’m sleepy. Okay I’ll go check it out. Brandon (as Milo): Welcome back from being a panther bud.
Eric (as Tuna): What is that weird music that’s playing?
Julia (as Val): It’s Enya, and I don’t like it.
Eric (as Tuna): Oh is that why I’m so sleepy?
Julia (as Val): Yeaah. Eric (as Tuna): Don’t listen to that.
Eric: Then Tuna just hops off and kind of just disappears.
Julia: I’m gonna cover my ears before I go crawl into the thing.
Brandon: I’m gonna do the same also my symbiotic entity um when I awaken my wild shape I get 3 temporary hit points per level I have in that class so I get 9 temporary hit points.
Eric: Very good! Good job! Okay so the two of you are gonna go through.
Julia: Yes, with ears covered.
Eric: Alright, Emily is also going and is behind you, and you two are ahead.
Julia: Is Emily also covering her ears?
Eric: Uhh no, Emily is not covering her ears.
Julia (as Val): You made this obstacle course!
Eric (as Emily): I didn’t run it first, I ordered it!
Julia (as Val): You ordered it wh-where on the internet?!
Eric (as Emily): I’m just trying—I’ll just, hey listen I can explain to you later I can just go on ahead if you want me to.
Julia (as Val): Okay fine, nope, I’m going.
Eric (as Emily): Alright, cool.
Eric: So Emily tries to push past you, how are you taking Milo with you?
Julia: He’s on my back—
Eric: Oh he’s on like a backpack.
Julia: Yeah, and we’re just crawling.
Brandon: And every crawl he’s like
Brandon (as Milo): I won’t. Forget. That. You did this. For me. I promise! Thank you.
Eric: Okay, as you’re army crawling through, you’re about halfway through and you’re covering your ears as best as possible. The Enya is like getting louder, and you come out and you see like both Fritz and Sour Anthony and just laying on the ground.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Noo! I’m—
Julia: I’m gonna crawl over them.
Eric: [laughing] Alright that’s fine by me!
Julia: Yep.
Eric: Okay make just a strength check just to see how easy it is for you.
Julia: I get advantage on this!
Eric: Do it!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Alright that was a 14 which is a 19 and then a natural 1 so I am glad I got initiative.
Eric: Yeah with a 19 you’re able to just move on past as you go past them you two notice they’re both snoring.
Julia: Yeah that feels right.
Eric: Fritz has a like a real dad snore he’s like [deep snoring noises] but Sour Anthony goes
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hurr hmmm drrrmmm.
Julia (as Val): I’m very glad I met your cat because he gave me the idea not to listen to the Enya even though I wouldn’t listen to Enya anyway!
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: I only listen to pop-punk covers of Enya, that’s the only time I listen to Enya.
Brandon (as Milo): Just don’t tell Tuna that, don’t inflate their ego, please.
Julia (as Val): They’re an extremely good cat.
Brandon (as Milo): It’s-it’s… They’re not.
Eric (as Tuna): Who’s always around cause I’m a ghost cat!
Julia (as Val): I love that.
Eric: Emily is less dexterous at getting pasted these two grown men bodies that are ahead so she’s stuck, so you two are now ahead.
Julia: Wooo! How’s Aggie doing?
Eric: Yeah Aggie, wassup?
Julia: I’ll come and get you.
Amanda: What is the tunnel made out of? Is it nylon like the good good border collie agility courses?
Eric: Sure yeah, let’s make it nylon.
Amanda: In that case I approach the sleeping heap, I am going to crouch up a little bit and yank the speaker out of the ceiling. But I’m also going to use a ki point to use step of the wind and dash forward as a bonus action.
Eric: So you’re inside of the tunnel and Enya’s playing, how do you want to do that? Because it is like a piece—
Amanda: Oh I see, it’s like an inset speaker?
Eric: Yes so it’s in the thing.
Amanda: So then I am going to punch it.
Julia: [excitedly] I was going to say punch it!! Punch it! Punch it! Punch it with your bare hand!
Eric: I’m gonna come up with an AC for a piece of electronic technology, which I’ve done twice in this campaign already now!
Julia: Mmhm!
Brandon: I’ll tell ya Eric, speakers are not very robust.
Eric: Nope! It is not high AC.
Julia: Hit it right in the drum?
Eric: Make an attack roll.
[Dice rolls]
[Julia gasps]
Amanda: That’s a natural 20.
[Everyone cheering]
Julia: Yeess!
Eric: Alright, just describe what it looks like.
Amanda: I want to punch the speaker out of its place so high that it goes up and with a Looney Toons falling sound, falls on the back half of the nylon collapsing the entrance to the tunnel.
Brandon: And there’s a tiny explosion.
[Brandon and Julia make quiet explosion noises]
Eric: Yeah it’s in the air and the speaker holds up a sign that says “Help” and it falls on the ground. Yeah absolutely I mean it's a nat 20 that’s exactly what happens. I think at that point you also hear
Eric (as Gordo the dog): Woof! Woof woof woof!
[Everyone awwws]
Julia: What a shame for a sad pup.
Brandon: The one thing Gordo could’ve done well.
Amanda: Ideally the hole where the speaker was like drapes over the heads over Fritz and Sour Anthony so they can still breathe.
Eric: Yeah they’re fine, they were just asleep but when you punch out the speaker the music stops, and Emily’s kind of stuck in there, but you used step of the wind—
Amanda: I do.
Eric: You’re just out and poppin’. Sour Anthony and Fritz both wake up and they’re all kind of tangled up together.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry guys!
Julia (as Val): Good job.
Eric: Alright uh—
Brandon (as Milo): I didn’t do that one I promise that wasn’t me!
[Eric chuckles]
[Transition music]
Hey, it’s Eric. Have you ever found an old videogame that you never beat? In my case, Super Mario Sunshine came back into my life thank you to Haney on Twitter. And it’s really, really hard. Like I’m dying so many times per level, and getting so many Game Overs which I haven’t done in anything on my Switch. And I remember not getting far as a kid also. So I am now sympathetic to me in the past and now I have a new thing to challenge me. Welcome to the midroll! Give your 13 year old self a cookie into the past.
First, THANK YOU to everyone who has joined our Patreon in the last week: Jack, Cecelia, Adam, Thomas, Joshua, Pia, Will, Tiffany, Eden, Ruth, Alexandher and Zikopiko!
And thanks to Sean for upgrading to an Annual plan! This is a new feature on Patreon where you can sign up for a full year of membership for a 16% discount over pledging month to month. You’re probably hearing us say this a lot on the Multitude shows, but we are truly grateful for each and every person who supports us on Patreon. You literally make it possible for this to be our jobs, and we could not do it without you. Whether you’re pledging for yourself or as a gift, whether annual or monthly, know that your support makes all the difference for us at Join the Party. To get access to some great bonus content and our Patron-only Discord, join us today for as little as $5 a month, that is what used to be one iced coffee every month at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.
ALERT! WE MADE A NEW THING! RPG CityPlanner. If you listened to our Pregame episodes, you know I hacked a game together for the players and to build Laketown and LTC together. Lots of you liked that system, so we made it into a free PDF for you to read and use at home! You can find a link to the web version or download the PDF on our new resources page, at jointhepartypod.com/resources. There are also links to the articles we’ve published on DMing and D&D podcasting, including some old blog posts that we haven’t made public before. That’s all at jointhepartypod.com/resources
There’s also been a ton going on at Multitude! We are co-producing a new show with Mike Schubert, or as you may better know him, the guy from the Jersey Mike’s arena episode of Campaign 1. Meddling Adults is a whodunnit podcast benefiting charity. Every week over its first season, Multidudes and friends will try to solve a children’s mystery from beloved sources like Encyclopedia Brown, Nancy Drew, and Scooby-Doo. It is actually pretty hard, and you can hear me compete against Amanda on Episode 2, and I swear a lot, and it’s coming out tomorrow. And whoever wins each episode gets to choose the charity we donate to that week, so it’s silly competition for a good cause. Search for Meddling Adults, not like the Olympics but like getting into trouble, Meddling Adults wherever you get your podcasts, or go to meddlingadults.com
We are sponsored this week by BetterHelp, a secure online counseling service. They connect you with licensed counselors through their secure app, letting you message with your therapist and schedule live phone or video sessions. You can also message your counselor in between sessions if you’re worrying about something or think of a topic you want to cover in your next call might be something you need to deal with now. Because BetterHelp wants to help you find the best therapeutic match possible, it’s easy and free to switch counselors if you need to, and the hardest part about getting into therapy is finding someone who you can connect with. And BetterHelp is also more affordable than traditional counseling, with financial aid also available if you need it. You can get 10% off your first month of counseling by signing up at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That’s better h-e-l-p . com / jointheparty for 10% off your first month. Better h-e-l-p . com / jointheparty.
We are also sponsored by DungeonCrate, a monthly RPG subscription box designed to enhance your tabletop experience. It’s always so exciting to open the box each month, which looks like a treasure chest because obviously it does, and it’s not a mimic it’s a real thing, and find amazing and useful items like metal coins for gameplay, tabletop terrain, minis, pins and patches and buttons, dice, and of course original encounters that can be played in any campaign setting. You also get access to their monthly digital crate and discounts to their online store if you join as a member there’s that to look forward to as well! Make sure you check out dungeoncrate.com, and claim your $5 discount on NEW subscriptions with code JOINTHEPARTYDC. That’s dungeoncrate.com, code JOINTHEPARTYDC for $5 off new subscriptions.
Finally, we are also sponsored by Hero Forge. Hero Forge offers fully customizable tabletop miniatures. with dozens of fantasy races and thousands of parts to choose from. Making a mini is one of those signs that a new character is real, and it’s a step you can take easily and affordably with Hero Forge. So visit HeroForge.com to start designing your custom miniature today, and check back often: new content is added every week. You can even be a chef, that is dope. That’s heroforge.com.
Alright, let’s get back to the show.
[Transition Music]
[Suspenseful techno music]
Eric: Alright so now it goes Val and Milo are definitely on ahead, Aggie is behind, and third Emily, Sour Anthony, and Fritz are kind of stuck in that big fourth section, and Gordon the dog is having some trouble there in the back.
Julia: Whoops.
Eric: Val, Milo you’re gonna go first here you run up to two doors, and there is a sign above both of the doors that say “or don’t say anything at all” and on both doors you see that one has the comedy mask, and one has the drama mask.
[Amanda and Julia groan]
Brandon (as Milo): Uh um okay, Val hello.
Julia (as Val): Hello…
Brandon (as Milo): One, I have an idea, two, I have a second idea.
Julia (as Val): I love ideas, especially two of them.
Brandon (as Milo): One— well I have three ideas actually, sorry.
Julia (as Val): Okay three, even better.
Brandon (as Milo): One, I have a ghost cat. Two, I can turn into a shadow, and three, maybe we should wait for Aggie and just do this together?
Julia (as Val): Why don’t we have ghost cat investigate while we wait for Aggie and then we pick a door?
Brandon (as Milo): I like this thinking. TUNA!
Julia (as Val): Aww the adorable cat is back.
Eric (as Tuna): [in a grumpy cat voice] I’m still… I’m just as sleepy as before but I think it’s for personal reasons.
Julia (as Val): That’s fair enough.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh my gosh.
Eric (as Tuna): Get it? Cause I’m a cat and I’m always sleepy. I should be napping right now.
Julia: I reach out to give chin scritches.
Eric: You reach out and your hand just goes through nothing.
Julia: I try to be even stronger in chin scritch.
[Everyone bursts out laughing]
Eric: You flex and then it still just goes through.
[Julia groans frustratedly]
Eric: [mimicking Julia] Why can’t I give this cat pets?!
Amanda: Their form is so ripped!
Eric (as Tuna): Mmmm whatdoyouwaaant?
Brandon (as Milo): Can you just check out one of these doors, or both of these doors and just let us know what’s behind them?
Eric (as Tuna): Sure which one?
Brandon (as Milo): Uhhh… What do you think Val?
Julia (as Val): [Hesitantly] Comedy.
Brandon (as Milo): Let’s do Comedy.
Eric: Alright, Tuna hops through and Tuna says
Eric (as Tuna): There’s nothing there, it’s just a door.
Brandon (as Milo): Well beyond the door did you see—
Eric (as Tuna): There are more doors.
Julia (as Val): Oh… There’s more doors? I don’t wanna be in a maze.
Brandon (as Milo): Not really that funny uh…
Julia (as Val): I hate mazes.
Eric (as Tuna): It’s just it’s the same thing right after that.
Brandon (as Milo): Just door after door after door?
Eric (as Tuna): There’s three yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay um…
Eric: At this point Aggie is caught up and you can see behind, Emily, Sour Anthony, and Fritz are just pushing each other to get through and Emily is all
Eric (as Emily): I just think it’s really important for me to win because I really wanted all of us to do this.
Eric: And Sour Anthony is says
Eric (as Sour Anthony): [Kermit voice] No but I have great power so like I needed to show myself what I can do.
Amanda (as Aggie): You can call this off at any time, Emily!
Eric (as Emily): NO! I’M GONNA WIN IT! AND I’M GONNA SHOW ALL OF YOU WE’RE GONNA BE A GREAT TEAM TOGETHER!
Julia (as Val): So we’ve got these doors…
Eric: Yeah so Aggie is caught up, so you three are now firmly in first.
Julia (as Val): If you go through the Comedy one it’s the same thing through it.
Brandon (as Milo): I don’t really get it but I have an idea,
Julia (as Val): Okay!
Brandon (as Milo): I can turn us all into shadows, what do you think?
Julia (as Val): I would like to be a shadow, that seems kinda cool, I’ve never been a shadow before.
Brandon: So in reality this gives us a + 10 to stealth checks and we leave no tracks or traces of our passage. What does the sign say again?
Eric: The sign says “or don’t say anything at all”
Amanda: It’s hung over both doors?
Eric: It’s hung in the middle of both, it’s kind of hung as a banner.
Julia: I feel like there’s like a reveal spell thing, there’s some sort of secret words on the door?
Amanda: Does anyone know what lyric that it’s referencing?
Julia: Can I investigate the sign that says nothing?
Eric: Yeah! What do you wanna know?
Julia: I wanna see if there’s a secret message behind it or something… Ooo I don’t wanna investigate—
Eric: Why don’t you make an arcana check for this? Because this is kinda like it’s more like a mystery.
Julia: Also bad but alright!
Brandon: Can I try history or is it arcana?
Eric: Just make it an arcana check.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: That’s a 4 from Val.
Eric: Val, these are some nice words!
Brandon: 13!
Eric: 13…
Julia: There’s words though, we know that now.
Amanda: Can I do one more structural check?
Eric: Yeah.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: You wanna arcana too? How’s your arcana? Oh fff- jesus.
Amanda: I got a nat 20 again!
Eric: You got a nat 20 AGAIN?!
Amanda: Sorry that’s on me.
Eric: Oh my god okay so you can see that each one of these is sectioned off, like I said it’s not easy for you to see what the next one is. From what they had said, from what Tuna said is that this section seems only big enough for like three sets of two doorways three times.
Amanda: I see.
Eric: And you also think if the comedy door has nothing behind it, the other one probably has something behind it, also from your structural knowledge in the way things are put together. You wouldn’t just make the same thing, that’s like a teacher on a multiple choice test and the whole thing was A’s like no one would do that. So with a 13, Milo I would say this is attached to an axiom, you intuit there should be “... or say nothing at all”
Amanda: If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.
Julia: So nice. So go happy.
Amanda: That’s my guess.
Julia: That’s a good vibe, let's do it.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay yeah, I mean I can’t stop you Val, but I am gonna make us shadows if that’s cool?
Julia (as Val): Listen, I’m not gonna say no to becoming a shadow. Existence is terrible sometimes.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay fine.
[Brandon and Julia laughing]
Brandon: Milo thinks — hopes real hard
[Eric laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): I’ve done this once, I think I can do it again!
Julia (as Val): Okay, I believe in you bud, even though you can’t walk.
Brandon: and I cast pass without trace, me and all the creatures around me, my companions now have a + 10 to dexterity stealth checks, and I cannot be tracked except by magical means, and we leave no tracks or traces of our passage.
Eric: Alright, so now all of you are shaded and like shadows now, you’re skulking through.
Julia (as Val): This is extremely goth, and I’m into it.
Amanda: So we go through the Comedy door.
Eric: You open the Comedy door and you walk on through, and like Aggie said there’s a second one that looks exactly the same as the first one.
Amanda: There’s a choice of two doors.
Eric: Yeah there’s a Comedy door and a Tragedy door.
Julia: So I think we should do Comedy again right?
Amanda: Let’s do it.
Julia: Alright.
Eric: Okay, ummm.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Uh oh.
Amanda: Oh no he’s rolling something.
Eric: I want everyone to make constitution checks.
Julia: That’s not my specialty.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: God dangit.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 8.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: Oh my god.
Julia: It is an 8 for me as well.
Brandon: It was on the edge of 19 and then rolled a 3.
[Collective ohhhh]
Eric: So all of you, you walk through the Comedy door and there’s just tons of cobwebs as you walk through. It is just so nasty and all of you with an 8 are just literally just trying to hold yourselves together.
Brandon (as Milo): Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross.
Amanda: Uhhhh.
Eric: So you’re all kinda stuck in the cobwebs at the moment.
[Julia groans]
Eric: I want all of you to make perception checks.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: God dangit, that’s a 9.
Amanda: 15.
Brandon: 24.
Eric: Alright so hot damn, Milo you hear outside that someone’s selling hotdogs too, you also hear there’s an ice cream truck going by.
Brandon (as Milo): Y’all there’s a lot of snack vendors around us.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: So Milo and Aggie, you hear as the other three behind you are kinda fighting with each other as you’re stuck in the cobwebs and then you hear Emily say
Eric (as Emily): Hello left door! You look so nice today, right door I love your doorknob.
Eric: And then you hear the opening of the door and they’re running through.
Julia: Well that’s gonna make things a lot easier.
Brandon (as Milo): Guys I think I just heard Emily complement the doors? Which is a weird thing to say, not the band, the actual physical doors. I think we should try that next.
Julia (as Val): Oh no
Amanda (as Aggie): Your wood frame is very fetching!
Julia (as Val): Alright…
Eric: Alright uh—
Julia (as Val): I like the song Light My Fire!
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Oh wait not doing that one.
Eric: You look forward through the cobwebs and you see that the tragedy side on the third set of doors lights up blue.
Julia: Alright we go through that one.
Amanda: Yeah as soon as we can get out of the muck, that’s where we’ll go.
Eric: Alright so who do you think is your fastest person?
Julia: I’m 30 speed, you’re also 30 speed?
Amanda: I’m 40 and I also have step of the wind.
Julia: So let’s do you.
Eric: Alright we’re gonna have a dexterity off to see which group of people goes on through. You still hear Gordon who’s rummaging around, he’s having some problems.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Okay
Amanda: I got a 15 for dexterity.
Eric: I got a 5!
Julia: GOOD!
Amanda: Ayyy!
Eric: So your group of three are now out ahead Milo you can walk again, the shadow around your feet are gone but now—
Brandon (as Milo): Oh thank the lord.
Eric: But now they’re also, the three of them are looking around like
Eric (as Emily): Where did they go?
Brandon: I had a shadow around my—
Eric (as Emily): Did they run away?
Julia: Yeah we got so scared of the cobwebs.
Amanda: We look back and all of the cobwebs are intact again.
Brandon: AHHH!
Eric (as Sour Anthony: Oh hey man, I can look around and fly around to see if I can find them.
Julia: Yeah he should do that [whispering] waste time.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Waste time, Sour Anthony! Waste time.
Eric: Alright you are now on the fourth obstacle, and it seems to be a raised platform, there are stairs that go up onto a raised platform that goes on for thirty feet, and then there are stairs that go back down. Kinda like a stage where you go onto a raised platform through stairs and then you walk through but it doesn’t seem like there’s anything there but you take the stairs down.
Julia: Don’t like that.
Brandon: Well I mean we’re shadows, they’re not gonna know that we went up there, so why don’t we go up there see what’s up there, and if we need to I’ll kill the spell if we need to.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Are you just gonna go up on the raised platform?
Julia: Yeah
Brandon: I also have stealth checks so maybe we do it stealthily!
Eric: If you wanna do it, you wanna do it stealthily?
All: Yes!
Amanda: We should go on the outside of the steps, that’s my professional recommendation.
Julia: Yeah the outside of the steps.
Amanda: Cause the middle is creaky.
Eric: Alright let’s do the uh, who has the highest stealth?
Julia: I’ve got 1.
Amanada: Uhh I have 5.
Brandon: I have + 2.
Amanda: + 10 for all of us.
Brandon: So you have + 15?
Amanda: Yeah.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: Aggie why don’t you roll on that.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: [Excitedly] I got a 27!
Eric: Hot damn alright, yeah they have no idea where you are, you might as well literally be the walls.
Amanda: I recommend that we go up the side of the staircase because it’s the quietest and if there’s any kind of proximity trap that’s triggered by us going up the middle of the steps I want to try to avoid that.
Julia: We follow Aggie!
Eric: Okay everyone make a dexterity saving throw.
Julia: [Quietly] aw, good.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Is it a trap? Did I sense it?
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 15.
Brandon: 18
Eric: Actually, yes you’re right! You do have danger sense! Remind me of danger sense again.
Julia: Advantage on dexterity saving throws for effects you can see such as traps and spells.
Eric: Effects you can see…
Julia: Traps and spells.
Brandon: This is the thing about danger sense, how do you see a trap?
Eric: Exactly.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Alright, I’ll give you advantage on that.
Julia: Okay.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: Brandon you’re helping someone in the future.
Julia: Oh thank sweet baby jesus, a nat 20!
Eric: Nice! Wonderful, yeah so as you all start walking up and you’re sticking to the side and Val you lose your footing for a moment, you dangle your foot out and you realize as you put your foot out to touch the actual platform there’s just nothing there.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: But with a natural 20 you gather yourself and all three of you are now scooting on the side.
Amanda: So we’re just walking across a blank platform?
Eric: Yeah but you have to — yeah you’re like walking on a stage but all of you are pushed up against the side, just scootin’ through.
Julia: Like a cliff.
Amanda: Alright.
Julia: Alright, cool cool cool.
[Dice rolls]
[Eric laughs to himself]
Eric: Alright you see the other group of three go by, they immediately just run up the front of the middle, Emily stops herself like
Eric (as Emily): Wait a second this doesn’t make any sense.
Eric: Sour Anthony is just floating, like he’s just floating and Fritz just puts his foot down and just falls into something. He’s like
Eric (as Fritz): Ahhh!
Eric: And just falls. Alright you are now at the final obstacle there are three punching bags there and each one says “Hit Me!”
Julia: [Without missing a beat] I hit it.
Eric: You just hit it?
Julia: I hit it real hard.
Eric: You hit it real hard?
Julia: I hit it real hard with my fist.
Eric: How do you demonstrate that you hit it real hard.
Julia: I just rear back, big fist—
Eric: Big fist!
Julia: Vibrate even more and then big punch.
Eric: Alright, I want you to make an attack roll.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: So it’s a 13 and then I add 5 plus my proficiency so it is a non-natural 20.
Eric: [Laughing] Well it’s a punching bag, so you definitely wallop it. I want you to make, what stat would you use to display your power here? Of you punching it super super hard.
Julia: I think it’s just athletics or strength? Or intimidation even maybe?
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Okay, okay, so how do you intimidate the punching bag when you do it?
Julia: I just, I mean mug it and then I punch it in the face.
Eric: Alright, roll an intimidation.
Julia: Okay!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: [Chuckles] It’s a nat 20.
[Everyone cheering]
Eric: Everyone is rolling so well! Alright how do you intimidate the shit out of this punching bag?
Julia: I just yell at it
Julia (as Val): YOUR SISTER’S PUSH-AH!
Julia: And then just punch it in the face.
Eric: As you connect with the punching bag the two of you see it almost like in slow motion you can see that the punching bag curls around Val’s fist, it flops around like a sausage and it springs back and it just comes off of the chain.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: It flies ten feet in the other direction and then a confetti cannon that goes off and now there’s confetti all over you.
Julia (as Val): We woooon!
Julia: We won right?
Eric: As you look back you see that the three other contestants and also a dog are running at you as fast as possible.
Julia (as Val): Hey Aggie, punch that one.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh yeah.
Julia (as Val): And I am going to punch this second one, because I do not have a lot of confidence in you, my good friend Milo.
Brandon (as Milo): That’s rude, but fair.
Julia (as Val): Okay!
Amanda: Yeah I just punch the one on the right.
Eric: How do you do it?
Amanda:I kind of look around nervously, rear my fist back and just punch it.
Eric: Okay, make an attack roll.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: So that’s a 7 + 5 for a 12.
Eric: With a 12 do you just punch it and then it comes back cause it’s a punching bag.
Amanda: I’m gonna use my bonus action to punch it again.
Eric: You’re just gonna punch it? Okay punch it!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Better
Amanda: A 16 + 5 for a 21!
Eric: Alright with a 21, you punch it harder this time it comes back and the fanfare that happened when Val did just doesn’t happen.
Amanda: Shit.
Eric: Milo do you want a shot at this? You have one before everyone’s catching up.
Brandon: Well here’s the thing Eric, we forgot to roll my spiritual surge earlier. I ended the pass without trace spell obviously when we got here. I did roll while Julia was taking her action—
Julia: Ohh noo.
Brandon: and I was gonna just be like oh obviously it’s not gonna roll so I just rolled it just to get it out of the way, I did roll a 1.
Eric: [laughing] Alright! Yeah let’s do it! No you’re right, you’re totally right roll another d10 bud!
Julia: Brandon why?!
Amanda: Brandon, do you just get all the chaos in your life out in dnd?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Is that what happens? Okay.
Brandon: I rolled a 4.
Eric: Alright with a 4 this time—
Brandon: There are good things on this table I promise.
Julia: At least you’re not frozen in place this time.
[Eric laughing to himself]
Julia: Oh no...
Eric: [Laughing] Alright so you suck all the shadows back up like for everyone it’s like they’re being colored back in, but again the hand in the middle of your chest stays and—
Brandon (as Milo): God — seriously? Again?
Eric: It’s like the shadows start wrapping around your hands and it wraps more and more and more, and your hands look like boxing gloves, they’re huge.
Brandon: Good, great!
Eric: So now when you punch for the next minute, you deal 1 d10 bludgeoning damage.
Amanda: How convenient!
Julia: Punch punch punch punch punch!
Brandon (as Milo): Someone’s looking out for me,alright.
Brandon: Eric will you give me shillelagh on this?
Eric: Yeah if you want to put shillelagh on it, I’ll give you the bonus to do it.
Julia: Milo’s just like
Julia (as Milo): Here’s Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk.
[Everyone laughing]
Brandon (as Milo): Here’s Bones and Spoke cause Kirk’s a dick.
Julia: Alright, fair enough.
Julia (as Val): I don’t know who those people are.
Brandon: So I’m also gonna cast as a bonus action, cast shillelagh so that means I can use my spellcasting ability instead of strength as my modifier.
Eric: Great, yeah do it!
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 21.
Eric: Alright so you definitely hit it, let’s talk about it, what’s the relationship you have to the ghost in your chest? Cause like the hand has been coming out a lot, way more than I the dungeon master thought would happen like do you really not have control over this thing?
Brandon: Well it’s multiple things right like every time I roll a spiritual surge table, some other spirit within me is just brought out and has a desire to be in the mortal plane again and expresses themselves through that power. That’s what the idea is.
Eric: Right.
Brandon: Yeah I don’t really have control to stop them right now but like we saw casting without trace, I’ve done it before so I’ve sort of know the like levers to pull to get that one out cause I’ve done it before.
Eric: Interesting. It seems like this spirit in your chest using this portal, they have to know something cause it seems pretty conditional over what has been happening and again, I’ve just been rolling it just so happens that it’s happening. So you looked down at your punching bag hands and you see that the spirit really is like this ethereal, I even think this long fingered sort of long nailed iridescent, even hand is also there. It seems like it acknowledges you when it turns over and curls its fist into a fist. So it’s like all three of you wallop, you’ve got Spock on one arm and Bones on the other arm and a ghost fist in the middle—
Amanda: Captain Kirk.
Eric: [Laughing] And all three of your hands wallop the punching bag at the same time.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: The chain holding the punching bag just dissolves into shadow and it falls over. The confetti cannon goes PEW! And you’re covered in confetti.
Brandon: Milo takes a step back and high fives the two hands together and is like
Brandon (as Milo): Alright y’all, let’s do that one again later.
Eric: You still have these massive hands, so Aggie you have one action pretty much until these people are on top of you. Sour Anthony has flown up high and is coming down like an eagle strike bomb.
Julia: He’s the worst.
Eric: Fritz is just running as fast as his incredibly professional athletic body can, and Emily now has her katana out and is running with it dragging on the floor like in an anime.
Amanda: I’m going to — listen if hands fail, you move to feet, that’s what my mom always taught me.
[Everyone laughing]
Julia: I’ve heard that too.
Amanda: So I’m going to turn to the side and like side kick, like kickboxing kick the bag with my work boots on which are steel-toed by the way and very heavy.
Eric: Very good.
Amanda: And then I’ll use a ki point to use flurry of blows to make two additional unarmed strikes as my bonus action, so that is three kicks.
Julia: Doing big roundhouse kicks over and over again.
Amanda: Yeah yeah yeah!
Eric: So in steel-toed boots is badass. Okay make your rolls.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: So the first one is 21.
Eric: Okay
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 13.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: And a 19.
Eric: Alright, yeah you connect with all three.
Amanda: YAY!
Eric: So what does this combo you’re doing of kicks with your steel-toed boots look like?
Amanda: So I think the first two I’m just balancing on my left foot and kicking with my right foot, my arms up in fists in front of me and I go one-two. Then I go back down on that leg and spin around with the other one and do like a flying kick with my left foot.
Eric: Hell yeah, you shouldn’t be using steel-toed boots on this punching bag.
Amanda: Eric, you never know when you’re gonna be on an active worksite!
Julia: That’s true.
Amanda: You need toe protections!
Julia: She gotcha there.
Eric: So you just rip a hole in the punching bag and the confetti goes off PEW! And you hear a sound effect from the speakers somewhere go [bouncy fanfare music]
Amanda (as Aggie: I thought I destroyed you!
Eric (as Emily): There’s another one, there are lots of speakers, hey I rigged the whole warehouse for speakers but [deep exhale]
Eric: Everyone’s super out of breath except for Sour Anthony who then like dive bombs and hits the ground.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): [Kermit Voice] Oh hurt my head! I hurt everything!
Julia: Just deserved!
Eric (as Emily): Congratulations, you won! You won the obstacle course, I didn’t think that ready set go would get everyone to do it but here we are.
Eric: And then the dog running up, and Gordon just flops over on his dog back.
Julia: He’s just tired.
Eric: Yeah he’s tired, so yeah Emily’s leaned over in sweat, she’s sweat through the button down she wore that day and is like
Eric (as Emily): Alright yeah, great job! You’re really good at this stuff, I’m surprised. I dunno if you’ve trained or anything but hell yeah dude, sick, nice!
Amanda (as Aggie): Emily why did you have to do this? Why did you spend all this money— where did all this money come from where did this $10,000 come from?
Julia (as Val): Also what website did you buy this from cause I am very curious now.
Eric (as Emily): Honestly? American Ninja Warrior buys this stuff and they think they’re gonna be big and then two years later they don’t know what to do with it, so it’s very easy to buy off of craigslist when you know where you’re looking.
Julia (as Val): Alright.
Eric (as Emily): But you know around, that’s… Don’t worry about it. The point is that I think you three will be great when we take down The Nephews.
Julia (as Val): Oh yeah that was the thing we were doing.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh right…
Eric (as Emily): So just give me all of your, listen I’ll put us all on a text chain, you guys have each other’s phone numbers? You know what, I'm just gonna make a group.
Eric: And immediately you all get a text message that says “Crime Fighters” with an alarm emoji.
Julia (as Val): That is extremely conspicuous.
Eric (as Emily): Oh do you want it — I can change it?
Julia (as Val): Yes to something else, please.
Eric: Then it’s “Crime Fighterz” with a Z,
Julia (as Val): Nooo.
Eric: But now there’s a —
Amanda: A flower
Eric: There’s a flower
Julia (as Val): Remove Crime from the group—
Eric (as Emily): Okay fine I’ll work on it later, it’s fine! It’s great, it’s gonna be great. I’ll text y’all later. Hey other three, you other three you did such a good job but you know I might not need you now but I’ll text you. I don’t have any of your phone numbers, ooh I actually got a big blast I didn’t take down your phone numbers, they might have been deleted but I just uhh I can text you — I can find you on social. It’s cool.
Julia: I hate that.
Eric (as Emily): Uhh Gordon where do you put your phone when you’re an animal?
Eric: Gordon’s just still flopped over—
Amanda: Is someone gonna pet him? I don’t want to but someone should.
Julia: Nope.
Eric: Someone should pet this dog.
Julia: That is a man in dog form.
Amanda: True.
Julia: I am not going to pet his belly.
Eric: Gordon turns back into his tech-bro schlubby outfit that he has on.
Julia: Slightly better.
Eric (as Gordon): [With a nasally voice] Okay uh, well see ya later guys!
Eric: And Gordon just walks out with flip-flop sounds
[Everyone groans]
[Eric tries to make squeaking noises]Amanda: Before Fritz leaves I want to pass my business card and be like
Amanda (as Aggie): So this was bananas but if you ever wanna chat you know where I am look me up.
Eric (as Fritz): Yeah um, it’s embarrassing when I lose obstacle courses because I am uh… You know. I’m just a regular person, just so everyone knows.
Julia (as Val: S’ok I’m super strong so.
Brandon (as Milo): We all are! Just regular people.
Julia (as Val): Regular people, just super strong regular people.
Amanda: I give him a knowing nod.
Eric (as Fritz): Alright see ya, Aggie.
Eric: Fritz just stalks out.
Julia: I wanna know what his power is so bad, he’s the only one that didn’t reveal it.
Amanda: Me too!! I know!
Eric: Sour Anthony’s just flying around being like
Eric (as Sour Anthony): [Kermit voice] Aw well fuck you guys.
Julia (as Val): Fuck you Sour Anthony!
Amanda (as Aggie): Fuck you, Sour Anthony! You owe us some beer.
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Aw fuck you guys, I can do this myself I can fly, yeah I’m like Superman! Fuck you. Except for Milo.
Julia: I just let him leave cause I don’t want him to talk anymore.
Eric: He takes his bag and he’s just snacking on his thing.
Amanda (as Aggie): What are you eating?!
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hey! Fuck you dude.
Eric: And he just flies out
Julia (as Val): I bet his flight is powered by snack food.
Amanda (as Aggie): That’s what I think too!
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hey shut the fuck up it isn’t the snacks!
Julia (as Val): See! Fuckin’ told you!
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hey fuck you dude! I don’t go to your place of business and tell you how to eat.
Brandon (as Milo): Hey Sour Anthony it’s time to—
Eric (as Sour Anthony): Hey fuck you!
Brandon (as Milo): Hey it’s time to calm down! It’s time to leave.
Julia (as Val): Someone had too many sours.
Eric: Anthony just flies off into the night. Alright now it’s just you three and Emly you now are fully out of initiative. You can go home.
Julia: I stop vibrating.
Eric: You stop vibrating, you’re out of your range. So Emily says
Eric (as Emily): So yeah, I mean that’s all kinda all I had planned for today so—
Brandon (as Milo): Emily you throw weird parties. Has anyone ever told you that?
Eric (as Emily): Weird, but also good. That’s what the mayor said when I threw the gala for the arts high school. It was all Mapplethorpe themed.
Julia (as Val): What the fuck?
[Amanda makes confused sounds]
Eric (as Emily): It was called “Inappropriate”
Brandon (as Milo): Cool… Alright, okay…
Eric (as Emily): I had a real Piss Jesus there.
Brandon (as Milo): I’m gonna leave.
Eric (as Emily): Alright, fine see you later, Milo! I’ll text you!
Amanda (as Aggie): We’re gonna talk about where, why, how, all of this is happening at some point.
Eric (as Emily): Sure yeah! Listen we’ll catch up in a few days, I gotta check out to see when the best place to hit them is. [chuckles] It’s so funny talking like that, but we’ll take care of it yeah! It’ll be great. I'll text you!
[Beat of silence]
Julia: Val leaves and changes the group chat as they leave to “Not Friends”
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: I’ll walk out as well but saying on my way out
Amanda (as Aggie): Know that I’m only here cause I’m worried about what’s gonna happen if I’m not.
Eric (as Emily): Good enough reason for me! $10,000 and ten thousand files in pride. Best I can come up with.
Julia (as Val): I am here for the $10,000 just in case anyone has any questions or has any doubts.
Brandon: Milo turns around on his heels real quick and jogs up to Emily
Brandon (as Milo): Emily one more thing, um you are, you’re Sergeant Slaughter on eBay correct?
Eric (as Emily): SergentSlaughter1991! That’s my handle.
Brandon (as Milo): I’ll trade you this lunch box for that key you bought if you are interested.
Eric (as Emily): Uhh… What? Key? What key? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Brandon (as Milo): The old weird key, it’s a limited edition, it’s worth — it’s like four or five hundred lunchbox. C’mon we’re friends now I need the key, trades?
Eric (as Emily): Hmmm… Oh you mean this key?
Eric: She picks up her purse and rummages through it and picks out this big ornate pewter key that’s supposed to go into the emergency slot on Dr. Morrow’s science experiments.
Eric (as Emily): Oh you mean this one?
Brandon (as Milo): Yes!
Eric (as Emily): Oh! No. Also that lunch box? Is a fake… You can tell because if you look really close Monty has three antenna. It’s worth $50 at most.
Brandon: Milo feels some magic surge through him and he’s going to cast charm person.
Eric: [laughing] How many spell slots do you have?
Brandon: A lot!
Eric: So what do I do?
Brandon: You make a wisdom saving throw.
Eric: Okay what am I trying to beat?
Brandon: 13.
[Dice rolling]
Eric: Okay, what does charm person look like?
Brandon: I think this one’s energy is radiating from the top and the bottom of its body and a coalescence in the center but then shoots out the shadow of a person in aura form and sort of just envelops Emily.
Eric: Yeah that’s really cool it’s like the shadow version will listen to you and do whatever you want. So the shadow starts walking up towards Emily from behind and it’s like she turns back and sees it and waves her hand at it like she’s dispelling smoke and just goes
Eric (as Emily): Did you do that?! Can you not send your shadow monsters because you want this key?
Brandon (as Milo): Have we not talked about how I cannot do any of this I don’t do any of it.
Eric (as Emily): Okay but well, how about instead because I know you tried to do that, that was weird, how about instead I’ll give you the key but you don’t get $10,000.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, that’s fine.
Eric (as Emily): Alright, cool. Saves me some money.
Eric: And she hands you the key.
Brandon: Sweet,
Eric: There you go.
Brandon: I put it in my pocket.
Eric: Wonderful.
Brandon: How big is the key?
Eric: It’s like oversized, it’s pretty big like it’s definitely heavy and it’s sticking out of your pocket.
Brandon (as Milo): C’mon, Tuna.
Eric (as Tuna): Mmm I was here the whole time helping.
[Amanda laughing]
Eric: So yeah so Aggie, Val, you’re standing out in the parking lot, are you waiting for Milo?
Julia: I think Val just keeps changing the group text name.
Brandon: Milo has muted this chat by the way.
Julia: Yes. Smart smart.
Eric: It’s muted already?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Aggie’s turned her phone off.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Eric: Alright so yay, you guys are hanging in the parking lot outside of the warehouse I want you both to make perception checks with disadvantage.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Alright it’s a 2 for me.
Amanda: A 7.
Julia: We don’t see anything ever.
Amanda: No!
Eric: So you’re waiting for Milo, you’re both messing around with your phones, not really paying attention, you’re more trying to dunk on Emily in the group chat. You look up and you see there are headlights coming very fast toward both of you.
Amanda: I sort of instinctively put an arm out to try to move Val back with me like against a car.
Eric: I want you both to make dexterity saving throws.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Good luck, fam.
Amanda: I got a 9.
Julia: 13.
Eric: I want you both to take 16 points of damage.
[Amanda and Julia groaning]
Eric: As this car which is charging at you, as you try to get out of the way, it still hits both of you as you bounce off of it.
Amanda: Oh my.
Eric: And it quickly peels out, you see this thing is bigger than a car and it’s hard for it to get out of the way. This is an ice cream truck and it is speeding out of the way.
Julia: Is it a Ma’s Ice Cream truck?
Eric: Make a perception check.
Julia: It’s a 5, I’m gonna use my charger so when I use charger I use my action to dash and as a bonus action I make a melee attack or I shove the thing so what I’d like to do is as it’s turning kind of like it’s probably on its axis as it tries to turn I wanna try to shove it and push it over
[Eric laughing]
Brandon: That is the coolest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever heard.
Eric: Aww jesus christ, okay.
Amanda: I would like to join them as well, I’ll use another ki point to double my speed to dash as a bonus action and try to push it over as well.
Eric: So you both are going to make athletics checks, and I am going to make a strength check for a truck.
[Amanda and Julia laughing]
Eric: Let me look up what this could be. I’m gonna say an ice cream truck has +5 to being pushed over.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: Alright I got an 8 on my first roll, I’m gonna use a luck point and reroll that.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: On my reroll I got a 15 total.
Eric: Val what’d you get?
Julia: A 9.
Eric: I was gonna give you a weighted average because you two were gonna do it together, but unfortunately I rolled a 23 for the ice cream truck, and you did really poorly on your perception check too right? Yeah you don’t see any sort of markings on this ice cream truck, it’s dark, you’re in the middle of the warehouse district. The ice cream truck just peels out and bolted down the street.
Amanda: Would you say we dented it even though we didn’t push it over?
Eric: You know, that is a good question.
Amanda: Val also has a lot of rings on so maybe they scratched paint?
Julia: Oh I got the brass knuckles on.
Eric: Okay, I like that I think that you did pretty well. I would say that Val you got some ice cream truck paint on your brass knuckles.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: So hopefully we can identify the ice cream truck out and about in the city tomorrow.
Eric: Yeah it’s just all which unfortunately. You didn’t get any sort of details on it but your brass knuckles are covered in white paint.
Brandon: It’s a real Cinderella situation tomorrow.
[Eric laughing]
Brandon: Val is just like “nope! Nope!”
Amanda: Punching trucks all over town.
Eric: I want you two, Val and Aggie, to make perception checks.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: [Groans] 3.
Amanda: 21
Eric: Val you’re trying to tend to your brass knuckles, Aggie as you jump out in the street to try to figure out where the ice cream truck is going as fast as possible, maybe faster than an ice cream truck probably should. Down the street a motorcycle pulls up behind it and you see the glint of a street light on a mirror as both the motorcycle and the ice cream truck take a hard left about ten blocks down the street.
Amanda: Do I get the sense that the Knight of Mirrors is chasing them or aiding and abetting?
Eric: Chasing, definitely chasing.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Yeah, Milo as you come out of the warehouse you hear this whole giant commotion.
Brandon: I jog up to Val and Aggie
Brandon (as Milo): Are y’all okay?
Julia (as Val): We were just walking here and this truck hit us.
Brandon: I help them up.
Amanda: I lay a hand on Val and cast healing hands on each of us.
Eric: Okay wonderful, so roll on those.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: So Val gets 12 hit points back, and I get 7.
Julia: Oh hell yeah.
Eric: Nice, wonderful, good heals. So as you pull yourself up from the ground Milo is just jogging out and you hear Emily from behind you saying
Eric (as Emily): What’d I tell you? Streets are dangerous.
[Suspenseful electronic music]
[Theme music]