Finally, an actual party on Join the Party! Though I guess it’s a gala, and we have to plan it first. Aggie and Amanda are the same. Milo watches the ducks. Val considers the trolley problem.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party…
[Intro Theme Music begins]
Eric: It's summertime, baby! Let’s wear our shorts and sleeveless leather jackets. Teagan got laid off from their job at Average Bear, under mysterious venture capitalist circumstances. But, Multitool was there to pick up the pieces, though she did not reveal her secret identity. Val checked in with their mobster dad in New York City, who said he didn't know of any mob folks involved with the one-up mushroom trade. In fact, it's pretty legal because the FDA doesn't check what's in any of that stuff. That's a true story. I didn't make that up for the podcast. Milo died, willingly, guided by the Actuary and reconnected with Tuna, with help from the one and only God of Death, Anubis. But, who cares about love and family and what happens in the afterlife? I hear there's some festivities to plan—or, as I like to say, let's get the party started.
[Theme music ends]
Eric: I'd like to imagine that this issue, this episode of Join the Party begins with a shot, or at least, a panel of, like, a deep mahogany table. And, then you hear a thump, as a big leather bound book called How to Have a Successful Gala—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Like, embossed with, like, gold filigree. And, like, there's a picture of January, but, like, a wood cut version of like January holding—[laughs] holding a tray that has, like a champagne flute and flowers on it, that's, like, pressed into the leather of the book.
Julia: Was it written by January? Did January spend his own hard earned dollars to put together this book?
Eric: Yeah, below and it says, (as January) “By me, January T. Morrow”.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Incredible.
Brandon: What does the “T” stand for?
Eric (as January): None of your business!
Brandon: See, that's funny. I was gonna say, and then, you look down below the image, and then you see “Oh, what's that? It's written by Amanda McLaughlin? Weird…”
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: You know, actually in is written—well, we have to put Amanda into the world. So, Amanda's written the How to Have a Successful Gala book.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: It’s by Amanda McLaughlin.
Amanda: Our world has no podcasts—
Eric: Oh!
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: —that's what makes it a true utopia.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: Eric really liked that joke, but was sipping his iced coffee the same time—
Julia: Had to clap.
Eric: Let—let me be over enthusiastic now. Woo! Um, yeah. And the pages, like, flip open. And go, [makes page flipping noises], and we are open now, zoomed in on an image of January, saying (as January) Yeah, I mean, we have so much to plan. I mean, where do we want to get this going? I think we do it in a few weeks, just to really make sure we're still capturing—we're still capturing the hype of the—the idea, I know that things have been pretty quiet in the summer. So, we all want to get this going. You know, we just had a—yeah, I can make an itinerary. (Normal voice) And, January's like beeping and booping on a MorrowPad—
Brandon: In a book? [Laughs]
Eric: Inside of the book. And, now, we are, like, zoomed in—now, the structure is done. We are zoomed in, and now we’re in—
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Brandon, can you sound design a really corny or, like, somehow just like, orally represent, like, that ripple iMovie effect where, like, you ripple from one image into the other? That would be great.
Eric: Like an audio version of a star wipe?
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be great.
Brandon: Yeah, it's just gonna be the sound of a star wipe [laughs].
Eric: That sounds great! That's perfect. Alright, so I'm gonna come a little bit out of character. Hello, I’m DM Eric, talking to all of you guys.
Brandon: Oh, hey, Eric!
Amanda: Hi!
Brandon: Thank you so much! This campaign has been great!
Eric: Oh, thank you so much! I appreciate that. So, Amanda, because this was your/Aggies idea. Let's—we're gonna have a Gala here. Do you—explain the Gala. What exactly are we trying to do here? And, just, can you fill in the details a little bit more now that, like, Milo is not getting his soul taken out and put back into his body, like, restarting a bad router.
Brandon: Can you guys believe that Milo chose to do that? That's such a wild decision. I would have never made it.
Amanda: Yeah. What truly astounds me, is that my colleague Brandon brought that energy and idea to our D&D game—
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: I didn’t do that! It was Milo!
Julia: Mhm, mhm. Blame the character…
Eric: No, that was Brandon taking control of NPC’s to give Milo cover that someone else said it to Milo—
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Amanda: No, it was excellent. And, I think that what Aggie is concerned with is the fact that this was, like, the first opportunity or instance of somebody doing a sort of, like, Dr. Morrow, you know, found objects installation or retrospective. And, as we've gotten to know her more over the last, you know, year of campaign time, um, no idea of her own influence over the world or responsibility for bad things that may result, as the result of science—
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: So, modeled off of successful, you know, amnesty and gun buyback programs, I think that having a splashy sort of fundraiser event—I'm sure Aggie has attended some as part of, like, the Forest Service, you know, people doing just, like, a Gala for no reason to raise money. And, even if Dr. Morrow was willing to put in money, like, that's great, but I think it's important to have the optics on behalf of MorrowCorp, that they are taking this seriously and to kind of spread awareness among the community and, like, give the media an excuse to cover it because no one cares about anything unless you can have flashy photos.
Eric: Interesting question. Here's a DM follow for you—do you want this—this is a MorrowCorp thing, or is this the City of Laketown City?
Amanda: I would love for this to be an independent community organization—
Eric: Great.
Amanda: —with funding, certainly, from MorrowCorps, if they want to kick in, that's great, but Aggie will, like, take a deep sip of herbal tea, and then text Emily Slaughter if that's what it comes to. I think it's important to have a lot of sort of buy in from a bunch of different people on this.
Eric: Okay, cool.
Brandon: Now, just real quick. What was the name of the Forest Ranger Gala is it something with trees and paper? Paper the trees? Give paper back to the trees?
[Julia laughs]
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: That's how that works.
Eric: The Give the Paper Back to the Trees Gala, 202X: Save the Mockingbirds.
Julia: They just take leftover reams of printer paper and gently lay it on the trees. Be like, “We gave it back to you!”
Brandon: Let’s talk about cash money, Julia, come on!
Eric: It’s recycled
Amanda: I like that.
Eric: Okay, so, I like the idea that is like an independent thing. It's, like, a superhero coalition thing, I guess, is what you're going for—
Julia: Concerned citizens.
Amanda: Yeah, I think like a true, like, for-the-community benefit type situation. I'm sure there are people in Laketown City kind of doing similar work, can maybe—
Julia: There’s Mona Ideal.
Amanda: There’s Mona Ideal, who is doing some community organizing, maybe she can give us some tips. But, I think that if Aggie mentioned this to Emily, Emily would take it over. And, that sounds great, because Aggie does not want to talk to or call people.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: And, having—having Emily sort of like spearhead the organization is great. But yes, point being, I think it's, you know, multiple superheroes coming together to prove that you know, this is important. And, whether you're a supervillain or you are a person who has stumbled across or realized that you're, you know, younger sibling bought on eBay an artifact that may in fact be dangerous, let's just make the city safer by giving people a, you know, consequence free way to just turn that stuff in.
Eric: Great. I love that. I have a little mechanic here, about how we're going to put this Gala together. However, would you like to get—buy in from other people first? Or, do you—would you like to roll, of how to do a successful gala, the mechanics first?
Julia: Why don't we plan the gala, and then Emily Slaughter can be our, like, invite all the people person—
Eric: Sure.
Julia: —so that we have control about like what the evening looks like. And, then, she can handle the like people part of the—the gala.
Eric: Great.
Amanda: I couldn't agree more. I think group projects are Aggie’s absolute bane of existence—
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: —and planning the thing and then telling people it's happening. We can all just be like, great and not have to be involved in, you know, decision making by committee.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Eric: And, you have January and all the resources of MorrowCorp and whatever Dr. Morrow will give you at your hand. So, I think that what I would like to do here is, what skill do you think your character would contribute to planning this gala? If you're going to make a role for it—and please be honest with me, that you're not just trying to do your best thing. I don't think insight will cut it here. So, like, what do you think you're doing to help put this thing together? What is your strength?
Amanda: I think Aggie’s would be persuasion and convincing businesses to donate things and people to get on board. Because, wouldn't it be a shame if you are—are seen to not be supporting this important bipartisan initiative?
Eric: Great.
Julia: Can I intimidate people into getting in line and feeling like they have to come donate for, like, the sake of the community?
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: That sounds wonderful.
Eric: Sure. That sounds great.
Brandon: Um, I would like to do something with animal handling—
[Amanda and Julia laugh]
Brandon: —but, I don't think that would be there—
Eric: I don’t know—
Brandon: I think probably what Milo would do, as the newly minted Laketown City's most famous resident—
Julia: [Laughing] Forgot about that—
Brandon: —after Aggie abdicated. I think, probably history, something about like the town and, like, pulling out his connections within the town to, like, get people involved or get people to go and donate or whatever it is.
Amanda: Well, I think you'd also have a good sense of where Dr. Morrow’s detritus was put, like, was there a landfill or was there a warehouse—
Brandon: Oh yeah, that’s true.
Amanda: —was there like a smaller, you know, lab that she had before she built her house? And, yeah, are there, like, stores of these artifacts or recycling companies that we could reach out to?
Eric: I love both. I think this will work great. I also want to ask Brandon, before you do your first role, now that you have been, as previous Eric has said, restarted like a bad router, you're using your—your Level 10 ability that you can shift your ability scores in one way. Can you just tell me what that is?
Brandon: Yeah, so, because I was restarted like a bad router, I get to raise one of my modified numbers. So the +1, +2 by 1, by subtracting 1 from another modifier number. So, what I did was, I had a constitution of +2. So, I took that down to +1, and then I changed my charisma from -1 to 0.
Julia: Oh, thank god—
Amanda: Hell yeah!
Brandon: A negative in charisma.
Eric: Excellent, because you lowered your con, you're gonna lose 10 HP, because that's, you know, how leveling up works. But, you did just get 25% of your HP back. So, what do you at with your HP?
Brandon: I am now at a total of 63.
Amanda: Oo, nice!
Eric: Perfect. I love that. Okay, now that we've answered all those questions, will all of you roll that thing you just told me?
Julia: Can we add our fame modifier to this?
Eric: Yes, you may add your fame modifier.
Julia: Nice.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Aw, bud, 26! 17 + 7 + 2.
Amanda: Woah.
Brandon: Eric, would you say my modifier’s now +2 for fame? Because, I'm more famous than Aggie?
Eric: I would say it's 1, because you still did all of those things before. [Laughs]
Amanda: And, is mine still +1?
Eric: Yours is still +1. I think you Milo and Aggie’s being the same now, because Milo was a public facing person. But, now Aggie is just, like, still incredibly competent. So, I like the idea that you're famous close.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: I rolled 17 Persuasion.
Eric: Great.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: I rolled a 10 total for History.
Julia: Oh, no…
Eric: Wonderful.
Brandon: Hey, that's 50%, you know!
Eric: That's not bad! It's not bad. Alright, here's how this is gonna work. There are a bunch of components to planning a gala. And, I would like to tell you some of those components that I think goes into planning a gala, right? The first is you need to find a venue that's mandatory, you definitely need to do that. That next ones are a little softer to make sure that your gala goes well, you need to get buy-in from powered folk around the city. You got to get the word out. And, I would love to ask who exactly you're trying to get the word out to, we can answer that question. And then four, what are you going to do to raise money? There needs to be some sort of activity at a Gala. Like, why are people coming to the Gala? In the paper—the trees—save the mockingbirds one—
[Julia laughs]
Eric: —there was a massive collage that everyone contributed to. And, it was actually turned into a big collage of a tree that turned into a mockingbird. And then, there was an artist who like put that whole thing together. And, it was really beautiful. And, like, that's what people came together to do. So, you do need to have a thing that you're doing. If you do three of these things well, this gala is a success. If you do all four of those things well, this is a great success and this—you're going to raise a ton of cash.
Brandon: [Pauses] Do you want to do the Borat voice, or should I?
Eric: [Borat voice] Great success!
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So, we're gonna—we can play this out. This is gonna happen, I guess over the next few weeks, as January said, we're gonna do this sometime in mid-July. So, we can just, like, pick scenes out that you want to do as you were trying to pull this whole thing together.
Julia: Suggestion—should we use the MFCA as the venue? Because, one, already associated with Dr. Morrow, good. And, two, I love a museum gala or anything where it seems like the Riddler is going to appear and, you know, try to rob people—
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: I love that.
Brandon: Question, Eric, is this really to our skills? Are we just throwing out options first?
Eric: You guys—because of the—your—the skills revealed the options that you have here.
Brandon: Gotcha.
Eric: That—what—the things I can lay out to you about how you're having a, [Borat voice] Great success! So, we're gonna have to explore all of these during the session to figure out how the actual gala is going to go, during this planning phase. So, you can do it in the museum. If someone else wants to look into another thing, we can see if the if people are going to go for the museum, if that's legit. And, we're going to answer these questions as you guys kind of play out some stuff. And, you'll—we'll do roles and we'll figure that shit out.
Brandon: Yeah, I was going to also suggest the MMFC, because I'm sure the museum would—
[Amanda and Julia laugh]
Brandon: It's not MMFC?
Julia: No.
Brandon: Because, the Museum would want to donate their, like—instead of money to, like, donate their resources. You know, like, their venue or whatever they need.
Amanda: Totally.
Brandon: A secondary option would be the Gaga Institute, which is something we've never done to before, which could be fun.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: It could be fun. I think we can also ask students at Gaga to do like portraits, like speed session portraits, that could be a fun kind of reward or reason to donate money.
Julia: Silent auction!
Eric: A silent auction of Gaga—of Gaga things. I love that. Okay, I think maybe we can all come up with these easier, but do you any of your characters feel attached to these particular activities? I guess to roll on them, or does anyone feel strongly about this stuff?
Amanda: I don't mind talking to the Upcountry Keepers about it, because I think this is, you know, a thing that Aggie really cares about and will swallow down her pride and talk to Emily. So, I can handle that one.
Brandon: I think, depending on the venue. I can either do the venue, or—because Milo is the most famous resident of Laketown City—
Eric: [Laughing] I like that you’re just saying Milo is—it's like, oh yeah, that guy who works with the museum, celeb. Best celeb. Not—not the sports player, not the hockey team, not Al Gore, not Amanda's famous siblings, it’s Milo. Milo Lane.
Brandon: Can’t even go for a basic Timbly Tumblies box without getting stopped for a selfie at this point.
Eric: I love the idea that you're going to—you're going to a Tim Hortons and you just see a shadow behind you and you turn around and it's Al Gore, who's, like, in my head, is seven feet tall.
[Julia laughs]
Eric: And he's just like, (as Al Gore) Milo, your doing so much for the community by teaching people about science. I just want to shake your hand.
Julia (as Al Gore): Going the good work.
Eric (as Al Gore): Doing the good work.
Brandon: That's exactly what happened. And, that's the opening paragraph to Milo's memoir.
[Julia laughs]
Brandon: So, he can also get the word out if we decided to go for a different venue. But—
Eric: Cool.
Julia: Okay, I think I could—I could partially also do the, like, talking—well, no, Amanda, you're going to talk to powered folk, like the Upcountry Keepers, right?
Amanda: I'd be equally happy doing the, like, donate things for the silent auction, do the rounds to businesses. So, if you prefer to do that, I'm happy to let you do it.
Julia: Yeah, I'm kind of split, because I can either go, like, get restaurants to donate food from Little Italy to the thing, which is good. Or, I can go talk to students. [Laughing] Because Val's great at talking to children.
Eric: I will say, let me—let me help you with this. You guys can do all this stuff. I think Val does go to Little Italy to ask people for food donations. I think you guys can do things just to get the Gala going. And, like, that's all fun color. I'm talking just about these specific activities. You could also assign someone else to do one of these activities if you'd like. I just need you all to claim one.
Julia: Sure.
Amanda: So, here Julia, why don't you do the powered people, and I'll do the stuff for rich people to do.
Julia: Cool. Yeah, I'll intimidate the powered people. That's fine.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: For sure.
Amanda: Yeah, I'll do the businesses, and—and people donating shit to make money. And, I think January will be great at getting the word out and sending beautiful invitations.
Brandon: Well, he's a rabbit.
Julia: He is the voice of the sky tram, though.
Amanda: Yeah, he can record a commercial.
Brandon: Yeah, but he's a sentient rabbit.
Amanda: Yeah, but he could use the mail!
Brandon: Do we want him talking around town—[laughs]
Amanda: You don’t have to talk to people, you can mail and email them
Julia: We can also just get Dr. Morrow to, like, record a message that plays on TV or the radio being like, come to this Gala.
Eric: I like the idea that all three of you are like arguing about this, like, in Dr. Morrow’s house somewhere. And, then you hear like paper cups falling over and you look over and Carmen has just like thrown another Tim Hortons coffee across the room—
Julia: Oh, yeah. Carmen exists, why aren’t we using Carmen? This is literally her specialty.
Eric: She’s like, (as Carmen) What are we talking about? Marketing? without me? I'm right here.
Julia (as Val): You've just been very—you seem like you haven't been getting good coffee lately. And, I don't know what's changed, and—
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): You're right, Carmen. We didn't even know enough to know that we needed your expertise. So, really, you know, ground floor, we'd love for you to spearhead the communications getting the word out about this Gala.
Brandon (as Milo): Carmen, is January a rabbit?
Eric (as Carmen): …yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): Thank you!
Eric (as Carmen): Was that—
Julia (as Val): No one was disagreeing with you, Milo! I think if a rabbit told me to go to a gala, I'd go to that Gala double.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Incredible. Okay, as I think Carmen is—is going to take care of this. So, let's ask this. Let me ask this question on behalf of Carmen, who do we want to get the word out to? Who do you want to come to this thing? Because, it is a party, if you want to say, hey, there's a party happening on the skytram, everyone come on through, that's your choice.
Amanda: No…
Julia: Well, I think we're being like straightforward about what the point of the party is, which is for people to bring their Dr. Morrow trash so that doesn't hurt anyone. And, then, also we're raising money so we can recover Dr. Morrow trash in the future.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: I think we're raising money to, like, give us the capability to take people's items in. I think the odds of a supervillain crashing the party if people bring weapons is very high.
Julia (as Val): That’s fine—
Brandon (as Milo): That’s the point!
Julia (as Val): —that’s why we're gonna be there.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, no.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Well, regardless, I think rich people should go, and I think, like, local politicians, like, community leaders, like the head of the schools, the head of different groups—like, I think that would be a useful in terms of like social influencers, you know.
Eric: Cool.
Julia (as Val): I do like the concept of, if you bring Dr. Morrow trash, you get a free ticket in, like a free meal ticket or whatever, a free drink ticket.
Amanda (as Aggie): I think it's gonna break bad so hard, but I find it a very entertaining concept.
Brandon (as Milo): Maybe it's two different things where it's like there's the dinner, buy a plate or whatever inside or whatever you decide on. And then like the buyback program, outside or whatever, and yeah, if you bring an item, you get a free Gaga painting or whatever.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): I do think it's very important to state that, like, in all Laketown City functions, everyone who is a citizen of the historic Laketown District does get a free VIP pass.
Julia (as Val): Hell yeah.
Eric: Hmm, yeah, that’s just baked into everything. If you don't do that, people are gonna get mad at you.
Brandon: Mhm.
Eric: I think January hops over to a whiteboard and he’s like—[laughs] is like jumping up and drawing like a flowchart of everything. So, it's like, (as January) Okay, so the program itself I guess we're calling “Dr. Morrow Trash Buyback”? [Laughs]
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): I think—I think it'd be better to be, like, “Scientific Waste Reclamation Program”, maybe, I don't think that it should be “Dr. Morrow has a bunch of shit everywhere and now we're taking it back from you” program
Brandon (as Milo): Well, yeah, that's too long of a title!
Julia (as Val): You just put fancy words on what is basically the same thing, though, Aggie.
Brandon (as Milo): it's “Dr. Morrow Trash and Shit Buyback”
[Eric laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): All I'm saying is the Forest Service cares very deeply about the specific words that I use when—when posting notice boards, and I am very tired of getting yelled at but that kind of stuff so I'm just trying to kind of get ahead of it.
Julia (as Val): Okay, okay.
Brandon (as Milo): January, I'm sorry—you’re a hare, not a rabbit. I apologize.
Eric (as January): Thank you. You guys are still making it weird, we've known each other for like a year now. Can we just not talk about it? If we just—if we just not talk about it, it would be so much easier
Julia (as Val): All right, whatever Aggie—whatever fancy words Aggie wants to use for the program, we can use.
Eric (as January): The program can exist for, like, the money you were gonna raise in—the Gala’s the money that goes to getting that program going to setting up the amnesty. I don't—I also agree, I do not think people should be bringing, you know, discarded, scary science refuse to that. I don't think we should encourage it. I think people are going to do that anyway, and then we’ll be like, eh I probably shouldn’t have this, you know, for example, guitar that throws people through walls at, while we're wearing dresses, for example.
Julia: Well, can—can we get Dez to like, come up with a neutralizer or something. So, when people bring the scary science trash, he can you just spray it down and then it's not going to hurt anyone?
Brandon: The SST. The—
Brandon and Amanda: Scary Science Trash.
Eric: Scary Science Trash, yeah. January, thinks for a minute and says, (as January) Oh, wow, that's actually really—okay, wait, hold on. (Normal voice) And, then January scampers away and brings in a magic eight ball and puts it on the table, says (as January) Okay, nobody touched this. Aggie, give me the bear spray.
Amanda (as Aggie): I handed it over.
Eric: And January takes the bear spray. And is like (as January) Alright, everyone close your mouths. Don't look. Don't Breathe in.
Amanda: Aggie pulls up the cowl of their costume.
Julia: Val puts on their sunglasses.
Eric: Carmen opens a window.
Brandon: Milo stands there. And waits.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Yeah, (mimicking Milo) I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid of death—
Amanda (as Aggie): Goes to death one time…
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Meets definitely St. Peter one time.
Brandon (as Milo): [Laughs] Not St. Peter, it’s Anubis.
Julia (as Val): Milo, don't start with me!
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: January sprays down the magic eight ball. And, there's just like a cloud of this purpley smoke that surrounds it. And, then it gets dispersed as a wind comes from the window that Carmen opened—[laughs]
Amanda: So smart.
Eric: —and sweeps it out. And, January picks up the magic eight ball and shakes it and says (as January) Oh, just try again later. Okay, actually—yeah, no, that's a really good idea. Like that.
Julia (as Val): You’re welcome.
Brandon (as Milo): What?
Eric (as January): So, turns out that the spray that Dez put together for Aggie works on the science trash. It's not just on—it’s not just on people—
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, this is not just a normal magic eight ball. I was very confused about what you were doing.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as January): No, this is one of those things. It's a magic eight ball.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wait, what? What did it do?
Julia (as Val): It's more scary science trash, Milo.
Brandon (as Milo): [Whispering] SST!
Eric (as January): Oh, you know, (Normal voice) January looks around.
Amanda (as Aggie): Man, you’re making it weird now! You’re making it weird!
Julia (as Val): [Overlapping] Can we roll Arcana on it? I don’t know?
Eric: Yeah, if you guys—yeah, make it an Arcana check.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: [Laughs] Nat 20!
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: Woo!!
Eric: Did any—did anyone else get a Nat 20?
Amanda: No, 17.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Oh, you want me to roll too?
Julia: Why not?
Eric: If you want to.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Oh my God, I got a Nat 20, no joke!
Julia: Aww, yeah!!
Eric: The Chad dice! The fucking Chad dice!
Amanda: The Chad dice likes the dramaaaa!
Eric: I think you two are like, “Well, I know Dr. Morrow pretty well. And, if it was a magic eight ball, I bet this thing can tell the future.” And, then you realize that they we just dealt so much stuff with time, that, like, it was probably a laser of some sort, wasn't it?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Yeah. Like, if it's, like, anything, but “try again later,” than it just shoots a laser. Brandon: Then you get lasered in the face.
Eric: Yeah, like, you can shake it, and it looks like a magic eight ball but then it actually you're you actually look at it and you realize there's like a little like what looks like camera lens inside swirling around in the in the blue water and you're like oh, if it aligns then a laser shoots out.
Amanda: Ah, great.
Julia (as Val): Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Seems useful. Scary science trash.
Eric: [Laughs] If you need a secret laser, yeah.
Brandon: Scary science trash is also a good superhero name for Milo [laughs]
[Julia laughs]
Amanda: I love it.
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: That’s his tag on Tumblr. That’s what people call him on Tumblr.
Eric: Great. If you want to encourage people to bring scary science trash, Dez can work on making more of the quote, unquote bear spray to do it. Aggie, make a History roll for me.
[Dice Rolls]
Amanda: 8.
Eric: Julia, Brandon—make History role with disadvantage.
Julia: Well, that's not gonna go well.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Okay, that was actually really good roll first time. Alright, so a 3.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Ya boy got an 18 and a 15 + 5. So, that's a non-natural 20.
Julia and Amanda: Wow!
Eric: Jesus Christ. Okay. Milo, you remember, there was a moment that happened all the way back when Aggie got the anti-bear spray in the first place. Dez and Dr. Morrow looked at each other. Like, on the low. and then Dr. Morrow said, (as Dr. Morrow) You know what? We're gonna do it, (Normal voice) and gave Aggie the bear spray.
Amanda: Oo...
Eric: So, you remember that, like, weird look, they looked at each other right before that happened.
Brandon (as Milo): Hey, Jan?
Eric (as January): Yeah? Yeah, dude?
Brandon (as Milo): I just remembered something. Back when you were giving, ah, Aggie this bear spray. This magical bear spray. Dr. Morrow and Dez gave each other a weird look. And, like, at the time, I was so enraptured by being next to Dr. Morrow that I didn't think about, you know, the fact that she has faults—
Eric (as January): You're such a stan. You're still such a stan. Wow.
Brandon (as Milo): Wouldn't you be though?
Eric (as January): I know. I literally took her last name.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: Aggie gestures at the board, the words “SCARY SCIENCE TRASH” written in capital letters.
Eric: Yep.
Brandon (as Milo): Do we need to be aware of anything possibly dangerous from this anti-magic bear spray?
Eric (as January): No, I don't think so. I mean, we thought it was for—I mean, what's interesting—I'm glad that we tested it. We thought it was for powers only. It didn't—it like also works on stuff. So, that's pretty cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): Huh. Okay.
Eric (as January): You know, experimentation, the—the blood of science is what is said.
[Amanda and Julia laugh]
Eric (as January): It’s the blood of the scientific method of experimentation.
Brandon (as Milo): That's what they say!
Amanda (as Aggie): Sure.
Julia (as Val): Okay, good to know.
Eric (as January): It's—I'm glad we tested it. It's very cool. Didn't think of it until you suggested it, Val. Awesome.
Amanda (as Aggie): So, I think if the main focus is the gala, and then out, you know, in front of the museum, like, if we get that street closed down, or something, like, then we can just have a tent. And, as long as Dez feels comfortable getting some kind of, like, you know, spray or maybe some like an additional, you know, safe disposal containers to put the stuff in, we can just have that open invitation for people—I don't think we need to, like, incentivize them. Again, I am deeply suspicious of this whole endeavor. And, I would like to, you know, have a manageable number of people coming through.
Eric (as January): Yeah, I mean, we can give them, like, something cool. They don't have to come inside or anything. I think it's fine. It's, like, two different things happening. They’re just happening at the same time. I think that's cool.
Julia (as Val): Has anyone ever seen this show called Warehouse 13?
Brandon (as Milo): No.
Eric (as January): No.
Julia (as Val): Silence from the crowd [laughs]. Well, on the show, they—like, it's these two people, and they collect, like, magical artifacts from around the world that are, like, hurting people because they're being misused. So, like, when they're going in there, collecting these items, they have these little baggies that they could put the item in, and then it neutralizes it. Can we do that instead of the bear spray? Because, now I'm worried that, like, because the bear spray works on power, someone's gonna steal it from us, and then use it on us and that we can't fight.
Brandon (as Milo): Can we impregnate the plastic with that fog, or whatever, you know?
Eric (as January): Yeah, spray it down. I'll talk to Dez, I'll see what's up with that. Yeah, no problem.
Julia (as Val): All right. I trust Dez.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon (as Milo): What network was this show on? Because, I want to watch it.
Julia (as Val): I think it was on Sci-fi?
Brandon (as Milo): dope.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, it feels right. I used to—my dad didn't really have like cable when I was visiting him in New York, or, like, the room he would put me in did not have cable, even though the rest of the house did. It was weird.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: It had—[laughs] I like the idea that it had Network TV and HBO, but no cable.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): We didn't get NBC, but we did get HBO.
Eric: Yeah, no Nickelodeon, but we watched Sopranos together, and I was much too young to watch that.
Julia (as Val): Oh, so much.
Eric: Okay. I think that—that—that works, and the Dr. Morrow team are going to take care of this with—Carmen's going to hit it up to all the other people. Oh, Carmen has one more thing is like, (as Carmen) So, just before I start, like, working on this and making a whole marketing plan and making like, I just—I taught myself Photoshop recently it was, it was easy.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow.
Eric (as Carmen): It's like, I feel like I have magic. I feel like I'm just like—just like all of you. But, for photoshop—
Brandon (as Milo): Hey, it's not magic. Don't undercut yourself. You just have talent. Smarts. Skills.
Eric (as Carmen): No, I just feel I feel powerful. I feel like the—I feel like a goddess who knows photoshop.
Brandon (as Milo): Has someone checked Carmen's coffee?
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): You can get literally anything now. That's what Photoshop is.
Eric (as Carmen): Exactly the—I can transform reality into whatever I want it to look like, which is kind of like being a goddess. So, should I—that's what Photoshop is, we're trying to get the buyback. And, we definitely want rich people to come to take their money. So, we can, because people aren't altruistic unless they get to pretend like they're philanthropic and they get celebrated for that. Blah, blah, blah. but like, so, we want other powered people to show up. Is that a thing that we're interested in?
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I'm going to reach out to the people that we know in the community and stuff like that, if you have other people that we haven't like talked to yet, like more power to you Carmen, like, invite them. But, I'll go talk to, like, the Knight of Mirrors and unfortunately, Emily Slaughter and her shenanigans.
Eric (as Carmen): Sure.
Amanda (as Aggie): But, yeah—Carmen, I think it's important that people see that, you know, all of the—all of the powered people around, you know, want—want this to be safer and don't want to punish people for having stuff that could be dangerous, but give them a safe way to dispose of it, you know?
Eric (as Carmen): Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like, there's some—there's, like, some powered people discords, like, Laketown City Powered People discords—
Amanda (as Aggie): What?
Julia (as Val): What’s a discord?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Carmen): Oh, it's like, um…Oo, do you remember texting?
Amanda (as Aggie): Remember?
Julia (as Val): I mean, I still do it.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Carmen): Okay, so imagine you're doing all of that, but it's all in, like, one place.
Amanda (as Aggie): Do you not text, Carmen?
Eric (as Carmen): No, I only—I only WhatsApp.
Julia (as Val): Okay, that's basically the same thing, just in a different app.
Eric (as Carmen): No, but, like, one's green and one's not that.
Julia (as Val): Okay…
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh. I'm behind.
Brandon (as Milo): Huh.
Julia (as Val): Okay, so there's a powered person text group. Got it.
Eric (as Carmen): I can—I can—yeah, I can look into that. We can—there are places that people are. It's like a bigger—it's like a bigger thing. It's like a bigger text group. And, like, I can see if they’re—if they're interested in coming. If you want to, like, send invites to them, that they don’t have to, like, get tickets for.
Julia (as Val): Okay. Send invites. I’ll out talk to the four other people that we know. And, then we'll see what happens.
[Eric laughs]
Julia (as Val): I feel like you're doing the heavy lifting here. But, that's okay.
Eric (as Carmen): I'm really not looking forward to being older where, like, my friend—like my friendships—like my whole friendship circle, like, erodes like that. That's wild.
Julia (as Val): Okay—
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay…
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): How old are you, Carmen??
Eric (as Carmen): I'm 23. I know, I'm so old.
Brandon (as Milo): I'm like, 28 you're not that much younger than me!
Eric (as Carmen): Oh my god, it's so different.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Milo, that's like—that's like four siblings down the line for me. Trust me. Micro-generations are just getting shorter and shorter. It's—it's—I don't understand every other word out of Quinn's mouth, and she, like, talks for a living.
Brandon (as Milo): That's real.
Amanda (as Aggie): It's like, “Blah, blah, blah, can you fix my toilet? Blah, blah, blah.” And I'm like—and I'm like, “I'm a Forest Ranger. But, yes.”
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): I still have that ability.
Eric: Incredible. Okay, cool. That sounds spinning up.
Amanda: I would just like to suggest a quick kind of, like, inset panel smash cut to Aggie, extending her arm into Quinn’s toilet because, like, a hair straightener or something’s in there—
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Julia: Incredible.
Amanda: —and pulling it out and just being like, “Quinn, I'm going to make you a punch card, and every 10 times I have to do this, you need to give me half a million dollars.”
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as Quinn): Okay, that's fine. Could I—do you want to, like, FaceTime with Bradley Cooper? Would that be better?
Amanda (as Aggie): I don't know who that is.
Julia: What celebrity would Aggie do choose?
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: I think she's a big fan of Louise Erdrich, the novelist.
Julia: What?? Quinn doesn’t know who that is!
Eric (as Quinn): I know—do you want to—do you want to FaceTime with the woman who wrote Gone Girl?
Amanda (as Aggie): How about the public access TV channel, like, weather person? I mean, like, just a quintessential part of my childhood.
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Julia: Oh my god, Aggie…
Eric (as Quinn): I also don't know that person, ah…(Normal voice) So, there's a lot of that going on [laughs] okay—
Julia: We’re not even in the room, and Milo and Val are screaming, like “Aggie, what??”
Eric: Incredible.
[Transition sound]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. It is hot where I am right now. And, there is nothing I love more on a cold day than reaching into my fridge for some pre-chilled water or ice tea or ginger ale, and pouring it over ice in a wide mouth mason jar. I don't know what makes this particular kind of mason jar so much better than traditional shaped mason jars, but there's just something about it that—that is the perfect drinking vessel perfectly in the hand. Perfect to sip. The wide lids make me so happy. And, every time I get to use one at home, I just feel like, man, I could put full size pickles in you, or I could just drink some cold water. And, that is pretty magical. Welcome to the Midroll. Firstly, welcome to Meredith, Amanda Ralts, Fiona, Joshua, Maureen, Aaron, Julia, Timothy who have joined our Patreon since the last episode. This show is straight up made possible by our incredible patrons, and we couldn't do this without you. If you have $5 a month and want to support Join the Party, get access to all kinds of amazing bonus content, and, of course, join the best place on the internet, our patron only discord—where someone's friend just got a dog that looks just like Anubis, I'm not joking—do that at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. And, did you hear? We're doing a new digital live show next month! “Join the Party Live 3: LT3 Drift” is a brand new one shot set in Laketown City, featuring Vulcani and Multitool, Kilonova, and all your pals on August 26 at 8pm Eastern Time. Get your ticket now, because it also includes a video on demand VOD copy of the show that you can watch afterward. Whether you're attending live or catching up after, get your ticket now at jointhepartypod.com/live. Also, it's a great time to check out the other shows that are a part of the Multitude Collective. I think you would like Potterless which is a story of a grown man making his way through the Harry Potter series for the very first time. Each week, our host Mike is joined by a fan to poke fun at plot holes, make painfully incorrect predictions, and bask in the sassiness of the characters. All of the hosts here on Join the Party have been guests, as well—that could be a great place to start. But, there are over 190 episodes of Potterless to listen to, beginning with discussions of the books, and progressing to spin off material and popular fan made content. Search for “Potterless” in your podcast app, or go to potterlesspodcast.com to start listening. We are sponsored this week by HelloFresh. Their produce gets from the farm to your door in less than a week, which means fresh, high quality ingredients to you. They also offer the flexibility you need to easily customize your order on the app, change your delivery day food preferences, plan size, or even skip a week whenever you need. I recently tried their grilling bundle which includes baby back ribs and chicken cutlets, it’s perfect for bringing to your next barbecue. It was very easy to prepare, and makes planning for a group meal a breeze. So, go to hellofresh.com/jointheparty14, and use code “jointheparty14” for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping. That's hellofresh.com/jointheparty14 and use code “jointhe party14” for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp online therapy. When there are things you can't tell anyone or feel like you can't unload a family and friends and you just need to unload it, that is what therapy can be. And, BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So, you don't have to see anyone on the camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in person therapy, and you can start communicating with someone in under 48 hours. Unload the stressors, get some unbiased feedback, and you'd be pretty surprised what you might gain from it. See if it's for you. So, again, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and Join the Party listeners get 10% off your first month, at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's B E T T E R H E L P .com/jointheparty. And now, back to the show.
[Transition music]
Eric: Okay, we're going to roll Initiative here to see what—what order you guys are going to do this thing, as you start to plan this.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: 12. That’s with advantage, Jesus. Come on, dice…
Brandon: 8!
Amanda: 13.
Eric: 13! All right, so we're gonna go Amanda, Julia, Brandon for this. Which of the activities are you tackling?
Amanda: I am figuring out stuff for enticing rich people to donate.
Eric: Right.
Amanda: I think Aggie has never set foot in the Gaga, the performing arts high school, because those kids are incredibly intimidating to Aggie.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: And, the idea of electing to be seen terrifies her and baffles her. But, I think she's going to—in costume, as Multitool—request a meeting with the administration, the principal there, and also at the magnet school, just so that nobody gets in the rivalry and gets upset. But, I would love to request that both schools donate some student work, and we can use that as, like, silent auction fundraising pieces, and, you know, put the student's name and put them on the website and all that kind of stuff to help you know give the students some—some exposure.
Eric: Cool. That sounds great. Why don’t you make a Charisma check for me?
[Dice Rolls]
Amanda: Um, my rolls a 3, so I'm going to use a Luck Point and reroll.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Probably a good choice.
[Dice Rolls]
Amanda: I got a 4.
Julia: Oh my God—[laughs]
Brandon: What?
Amanda: —um, +1. Then, is this fame? I mean it doesn't matter, but 5.
Julia: Aww…
Eric: So, that’s a 6. Here's—[laughs] here's what happens. You try to email the two admin—like, whatever's on the website, you were like, “Oh, there's an email on the website it's, like, admin@themagnetschool.edu—"
Amanda: K12NY.edu?
Eric: Exactly—
Amanda: Oh, God—
Eric: [Laughs] Oh my freaking god. And, there’s one for the magnet. And then, they just, like, do not get back to—
Amanda: Oh, God…
Eric: Because—here's the thing. I'm going to reveal to you—no one—especially cuz school's out right now, because it's July—
Amanda: Oh yeah…
Eric: —no one is looking at this email, and someone was not looking at this email to start with, even when it was their job to look at this email.
Amanda: Didn't think about that. So, I think after like three or four or five days, somebody's like, “Oh, yeah, like let's like check in on Friday about our progress.” And Aggie’s like, fuck. So, finally, she takes out her phone and starts a group FaceTime with Danny and Aaron.
Julia: Oh!
Eric: Oh!
Amanda: And, Danny as a visual artist and Aaron as a world famous tattoo artist, I'm going to ask each of them for some sketches to donate to the gala silent auction.
Eric: Wonderful. How do you—how do you convince them to do it?
Amanda (as Aggie): Hey, guys, so I am, for the first time, asking you for help. I—I needed to do something for work, and I think I, um—I think I did the email wrong. And, I need some, like, famous shit that people will want on Instagram to raise some money for—for, like, a community project. Can you—can someone please FedEx me valuable drawings immediately? I really need them for work.
[Julia laughs]
Julia: “Please FedEx me valuable drawings immediately” is such a power move.
Eric: Incredible. What skill is this talk with your siblings? Is this just persuasion?
Amanda: Oh, Eric. Which of them is it? I think it is persuasion, yeah.
Eric: All right. I will give you do Persuasion with advantage—
Amanda: Fuck yeah, dude.
Eric: —because these are your—because you're asking them for help for once.
[Dice Rolls]
Amanda: Okay, 11 + 5, 16.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah.
Julia: Woo!
Eric: Okay. Danny huffs and puffs about it, and is like, (as Danny) Oh, I’m taking care of my kids, and, um, I haven’t been painting, and I have so much stuff— (Normal voice) But, ultimately he, like, pretends like he's not doing it, and it shows up, like, two days later. There's, like, three paintings that show up.
Amanda: I want sketches, specifically, so that they don't have emotional manipulation [laughs].
Eric: Yeah, if these are gonna be auctioned off to people, they're like incredibly stark.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Like, it's so vague, that if someone looked at them, and they're like, “I will end up in a forest!” Like, it's just vague enough that it's fine—
Amanda: “The sky is a metaphor!”
Eric: [laughs] Yeah, “The sky is telling my feelings!” And, I think that Aaron—we haven't really met—talked to Aaron all that much. But, I feel like Aaron's like (as Aaron) Oh, yeah! Absolutely! A chance for me to help out Aggie? Hell yeah! For sure! (Normal voice) And then, like, you don't get anything for like two weeks—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: And, like, the day before, like, some sketches shows up, and—like, with a PostIt note that says, (as Aaron) Oh, I didn't know that you're—that this would take so much time coming over from Germany. Didn't think of it. Here's some sketches that I kind of just put together. (Normal voice) And, like, it's like they were done on yellow—on a yellow pad. So, the lines are still on there. But like, incredible, incredible tattoo drawings.
Amanda: Nice. And, probably some finger paintings from the kids.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric: Okay, boom! We have some stuff that we're gonna—that we're gonna auction off.
Amanda: Woo!
Eric: Hell yeah. Some O’Hare originals.
Amanda: And, I think that Aggie just in the like, nervous days that Aggie was waiting for those emails that never came back, and then for the FedEx, she will just, like, go to various businesses and, you know, ask people to donate stuff, like a gift basket, or, you know, like, candles for the tables—
Julia: Yeah, I think—if I can, “Yes, and—” I think Val takes Aggie—like, in the Vulcani costume to a bunch of different restaurants in Little Italy, being like, (as Val) Do you guys want to donate like a—like a $50 gift card, or something like that?
Eric: And, they're like, (as restaurant owners) Vulcani! Anything for you!
Julia (as Val): Thank you.
Amanda (as Aggie): This isn't as easy for me. It's amazing.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, no, people just love me here.
Amanda (as Aggie): I feel like I definitely have a bond with a lot of, like, woodland creatures, but I can't get too close, because that’s, like, not good for the ecosystem and their behavior, you know?
Julia (as Val): Sure.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): So, I have the same thing, but it's just—it's just different. So…
Julia (as Val): Yeah, no, that seems like really respectful of you, and I'm sure the woodland creatures appreciate that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thanks. I'm a little jealous, but don't worry. It's—it's—it's cool.
Julia (as Val): Well, I can buy you a calamari whenever. [In bad Italian accent] Calamari!
Eric: [In bad Italian accent] Calamari!
Amanda (as Aggie): Why don’t—why don't they serve calamari on, like, a kebab shaped like a sword? Then you just like take them off the top and dip them and eat them.
Julia (as Val): They should do that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Right?
Julia (as Val): Why don't—(Normal voice) [Laughs] Val, like, runs to a restaurant nearby, (as Val) You should serve calamari on a sword!
[Brandon and Amanda laugh]
Eric (as restaurant owner): All right, anything for you, Vulcani! On it! (Normal voice) All right, Julia, what do you want to do?
Julia: I'm gonna go intimidate some superheroes to come to this event.
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: I guess I'll start with our friend, who is the Knight of Mirrors.
Brandon: Don't intimidate them!
Julia: Well, ah…intimidate, you know, can go various ways, you don't have to threaten someone's life in order to intimidate them.
Amanda: Like, wow, they're intimidatingly cool. I really want to be like them.
Brandon: Just their livelihood. Just their limbs.
Julia: What? No! My game plan for the Knight of Mirrors is, I'm going to go to them, and I'm going to be like, “Hey, it would really suck if all of these weapons were out there. You know? Like willy nilly…what if we were able to get more of them with your support?”
Amanda: Smart.
Brandon: I like it.
Eric: I just realized that the first time that Multitool uses their powers is cleaning out—
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Cleaning out a toilet, yeah.
Eric: Unclogging—[laughs] it’s unclogging a fucking pipe.
Amanda: Tell me that's not the first thing you do if you had stretchy arms—
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: [Singing] Good job, Amanda!
Amanda: —that, and picking up a TV remote that’s across the room.
[Eric laughs]
Julia: Incredible
Brandon: Amanda, that's absolutely not the first thing I would do, is unclog a toilet.
Amanda: Just saying!
Eric: I'm just like, I've been trying to think I'm like, wow, Amanda, let's try to find a way for you to use your powers. We're gonna introduce that you're like—yeah, unclog a pipe.
Amanda: You know…
Brandon: I—I don't think I would ever get up ever again.
Amanda: Yeah, I would dust my ceiling fan every day. Think about that.
Brandon: That's good. I like that—
Eric: Alright, you want to talk to the Knight of Mirrors first?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, I think that, once again, like with—[laughs] like when Milo tried to get buy in from the Knight of Mirrors, you need to, like, stand in a rough part of town, at like three in the morning and it's raining. And, like, that's the only time you can meet up with the Knight of Mirrors.
Julia: I thought that they had their contact now? We didn't get their contact?
Amanda: Yeah, we—we can text them.
Eric: Oh, they totally did. And, that's the only time they'll meet with you.
Julia (as Val): You know what? Fine.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I tell my girlfriend there's another Italian food emergency, and I go to a rough part of town at 3 am.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): Is that what you want?
Eric: Yeah, it's raining, it’s like—everything is slick in the way that, like, you know, good video games tried to make things look like it's raining, but everything just has like a little bit of sheen on it—
Amanda: Like LA Noir, or whatever?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, it's all, like, very Noir all of a sudden, and everything's like black with, like, slightly lighter gray lines around it. And, then, the Knight of Mirrors, in like full neon, just fucking speeding Fast and Furious around the corner.
[Soft rain noise begins]
Eric: They break by, like, doing, like, a quick spin—a quick 360 donut, and then, like [Makes car screeching noise] (as Knight of Mirrors) Yeah, what's up?
Julia (as Val): Hey, what's going on? How you doing?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Oh, you know. Defending the city.
Julia (as Val): Classic. Same.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Classic.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): So, listen, here's the thing. I know you're busy fighting crime and whatnot. But, my—my pitch to you is: crime would be easier to fight if people didn't have scary science shit, correct?
Eric: [Laughs] The Knight of Mirrors pops, like, one of those, like, a tablet, like, out of, like, the bag on the back of their bike and shows you a very formal looking evite. Like, it's the equivalent of like—like a very nice wedding invitation. You know, it's like—with the really nice cardstock and, like, the gold and the silver lettering, but it's on an evite it's, like, (as Knight of Mirrors) Yeah, I got it.
Julia (as Val): All right, Carmen hit you up. Awesome. Well, I wanted to make sure that I personally invited you, because you are, you know, a friend of the LT3, and your presence there would mean a lot to us.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Okay, I'll think about it. If I have time from, like, fighting crime, and—
Julia (as Val): Well, like I said, it'd be easier to fight crime if people didn't have scary science shit, right?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): You're right. You hit my—you hit my weakness. More crimes.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Yeah. There would be more crime. Or, there would be more accidental death, like, what happened at the—oh, no, that never happened. Never mind. Don't listen to me.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): What? What happened to you?
Julia (as Val): Nothing happened. There would have been a bomb, but we took care of it.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): What?
[Amanda and Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Don't worry about it. This is what I'm saying though, is if we weren't there to intervene, scary science trash would have would have hurt some people.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): You three are wild. And, I'm—and, I want you to know, from my general demeanor and everything you know about me, that's high praise.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Julia (as Val): Thanks. You're pretty cool, too.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): [Makes car whirring noise]
Val: Alright, later.
Eric: They pull away, go from 0 to 60 in two seconds, and throw a peace sign over their shoulder.
Brandon: I like to think that everywhere they go, like, as they're shooting down a street is just like, the darkness and, like, sheen just follows them.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah
Brandon: But like 20 feet to the side, it's just day.
Amanda: Yeah. That’s great
Eric: Yeah, there's regular, and then they have like an aura of extra darkness. And, then they also have the Tron light cup following them.
Amanda: Mhm. Mhm.
Brandon: I like it. I like it.
Eric: So, it's a lot of layering of lights on top of each other. And Carmen—Carmen shows you how she can create that image in Photoshop. It's like, (as Carmen) Look at how many layers I have. I'm a goddess.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: So many.
Eric: So, I think that that's fine. I don't think you have to roll on that, because the Knight of Mirrors is your friend. You're—and you're not necessarily intimidating them. Are you also going to try to go to the Upcountry Keepers?
Julia: Oh, yeah—
Amanda: Brandon, can I—can you insert a joke that Aggie wouldn't make, but I would? After the—after the layers comment?
Brandon: Sure.
Amanda: Okay, so I don't think Aggie would say this, but Amanda would like to say, damn, Carmen, that's more layers than a Baklava.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: That’s kinda more—it's not even a good joke. I just really wanted to say it.
Eric: Incredible. Yeah, how would you like to get in contact with them?
Julia (as Val): I guess I'll just text Em—Emily Slaughter—
Brandon: Do a crime. Do a crime.
Julia (as Val): I'm not gonna do a crime, I'm a superhero! I will text Emily Slaughter, and be like, “Hey, coffee, question mark?”
Eric: She responds with, (as Emily) Oh my god. Yes! Val. We've never had a one-on-one time together. Absolutely!
Julia (as Val): My schedule is pretty free. Let me know when you're available.
Eric: Cool. Yeah, Emily Slaughter, like, says, (as Emily) Oh, we can totally meet tomorrow afternoon. (Normal voice) And, then, she cancels and reschedules, and cancels or reschedules, and then finally you lock her down to meet out—meet at a coffee shop that's like incredibly downtown. Like, it's like right near MMFKA but it's like it's like, near Juice—it’s also not a good coffee place. Like, you know, like, Gregory's Coffee? how it tries to look like it's a hip coffee place, but really it's just like an economic enterprise? It’s like one of those places.
Julia: Val orders an espresso and does not touch it.
Eric: Incredible. Emily breezes in, massive sword on her hip. Emily's wearing a tank top that says “The Future is Female” and—
Amanda: Oh, gosh—
Eric: —and jean shorts.
[City street background noise begins]
Eric: Breezes in being like, (as Emily) Oh hey, it's Val! It's so nice to see you. I'm so ready to—let's talk. Absolutely. (Normal voice) But, then gets up in orders, like, a massive iced coffee with two shots in it. And, then, like, breezes and sits back down and—
Brandon: An iced coffee with two shots of espresso in it???
Eric: Yeah, dawg.
Brandon: Is that a thing that people drink?
Amanda, Julia, and Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Jesus Christ…
Eric: I think that’s—
Amanda: Is that a redeye?
Eric: it's a double it's a double redeye, cuz it's two shots, right?
Brandon: Jesus Christ…
Amanda: I call that a round trip redeye
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Very good.
Eric: Emily slaughter calls it a round trip redeye, and they look—and the barista looks at her quizzically and she says (as Emily) Two shots in the iced coffee, obviously. Please. (Normal voice) And, she’s like (as Emily) Yeah, absolutely. Val, what do you want to talk about? What's going on? I would love to—we haven't had much one-on-one time. It's nice to really get to know you without Aggie here. I think that that's really—that's really sweet and wonderful. I think that'll be wonderful. (Normal voice) Oh, I'm sorry. I want to—I want to say one more one more thing to set the scene—
Brandon: Is this another joke that you would say, but Multitool wouldn’t?
Eric: Yeah, it's about—it's about baklavas.
Amanda: Damnit!
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Even though it's right on the street, Emily slaughter wants to sit outside. There's like a really small table with, like, two rickety folding chairs. Like, you know, one of those outside—
Julia (as Val): She’s got Sour Anthony around taking photos of me for some reason. Yeah. Okay.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: But, she wants to—Yeah, she wants to sit outside on the street.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yeah. She's like, (as Emily) Oh, no, let's sit outside. It's so nice. It's so nice out. It's never this nice in Laketown City. And, you know, I got to keep my head on a swivel. I got to make sure nothing's happening. Like, it's fine.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, fine. Whatever. Whatever blackmail you want to get on me, you can fucking get on me. Anyway.
Brandon: Maybe she's also a pervert. Maybe it's both of them.
[Eric laughs]
Julia: Who can say?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Okay, so you remember what happened with the unfortunate incident at the Art Gallery, Correct?
Eric (as Emily): Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know—you know, Dr. Morrow stuff is a—is out. And, I wish there was more we could do to get that stuff off the street. But, you know, really, luckily—
Julia (as Val): Good point, because currently, we are working on piloting a program in which we get said items off the street safely. And, we are hosting a gala. And, I was wondering, [sighs in defeat] if you and the rest of the Upcountry Keepers would like to attend?
Eric: Is this with you—where you would like to make your roll?
Julia: I don't think this is quite intimidation yet. So, I think Val is going to continue real quick. (as Val) As you well know, that stuff is dangerous. And we, as superheroes, are putting our lives at risk when there is stuff like that. And, I would hate for something to happen to say Sour Anthony because someone got their hands on a guitar and then blew him up.
Eric (as Emily): First of all, even while we're in public, please, just Fly Boy. I know that you have some history, but Fly Boy please. But, honestly, I guess you know, I—you know—you know I love a gala. Absolutely. We're coming. That sounds incredible. (Normal voice) Julia, please make your intimidation roll of how—how much you would or would not like Emily Slaughter to take over this—the planning of this thing immediately.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Well, I rolled a 16, and my intimidation is 7 so—
Eric: Great. Great.
Julia: Pretty good?
Eric: Would you like Emily Slaughter to take over the planning? Or, would you like Emily Slaughter to, like, chill out and not be as annoying?
Julia (as Val): Aggie? What? We probably discussed this before I left?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, I don't know. What do you guys think? I think it would—I think we've got the planning down. But, it might be convenient to have Emily, like, go to her fucking eBay network and like, look at her own family’s shit.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. Okay.
Eric: I will say, because you rolled so well. I will say that the more you have Emily participate, the more she will put her face on it.
Julia: Yes. So, I think what Val will say (as Val) I think it would be really good if you could, you know, promote this event and say that you're going to be there. Maybe talk to some of the people who have been financially backing the Upcountry Keepers… [whispering] for some fucking reason. [Normal volume] And, I think that we will—
Eric (as Emily): What? What was that?
Julia (as Val): —together, we can—we can make this city a safer place now.
Eric (as Emily): No, Absolutely. I've loved that. Absolutely. For sure. You know, just can you make sure to put down the Upcountry Keepers—make sure to add us an extra ticket? We have four—well, there's four of us now.
Julia (as Val): There's for you? Who is your new fourth member?
Eric (as Emily): Oh, yeah, we found—we found this woman who has this power we hadn't seen before. Really incredible. Just incredible, can take—can take any punch, super—super, like, super dense. Dense body—
Julia (as Val): Oh, you mean fucking Shannon Redwine, don't you?
Eric (as Emily): Oh, you know her?
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I know Shannon Redwine.
Eric (as Emily): Oh, she didn't say anything about—about you?
Julia (as Val): Of course, she didn’t!
Eric (as Emily): Well, you know her name—
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Emily): It's actually—I can just tell you the code name. The code name is Tuff Stuff. So—
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): Sure it is. Okay.
Eric (as Emily): Okay. Okay, well, just make sure to write that down.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Is it T-U-F-F?
Eric: Brandon, you fucking know it is.
Amanda: God…
Julia (as Val): Yeah. All right, we'll add a + 1 for you. And, Fly Boy and Taxonomy.
Eric (as Emily) Thank you—well, it's not a plus, she's part of the Upcountry Keepers now—
Julia (as Val): A + 1, all right, sounds good.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: All right. Hey, make a perception check for me, Julia.
[Dice Rolls]
Julia: I got a 15.
Eric: Cool. Okay. From the way that you're facing, you see that there is a 12-year-old, just bopping along, tank top, shorts, massive Beats headphones, who is absent mindedly walking into traffic, and there is a bus coming. You also see that up on a building a few, like, a block down, you see that there is an air conditioner that is looking incredibly precarious, and is, like, four stories up. And, you see that there's just, like, a bunch of friends just kind of, like, talking right below it.
Amanda: Eric, did you bring the trolley problem into our D&D game?
Julia: All right…
Brandon: It's the conditioner and bus problem.
Julia: Give me a second. I'm trying to… okay. [Groans] I take my action to dash, then I can push this person out of the way. And, I can also—no, that a bonus action, shit. Um…
Brandon: You have another superhero right next to you—
Julia: I know, but I don't want her to win.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Brandon, herein lies the problem.
Amanda: [Laughs] That's the true trolley problem.
Eric: Yep.
Julia: It's one move, right? I have to do this in one move—
Eric: You have one action. Yes. You have one move. Emily Slaughter is facing the other way. So, she does not see any of this—
Brandon: Classic slaughter.
Eric: It’s happening in, like, your line of sight.
Julia: Hmm. Okay, so, I want to grab the kid and then force the air conditioner back into the window. So, I think what I'm going to do is, I'm going to use my movement to grab the kid because my speed is 40, I'm sure I can get there in time. Right?
Eric: Mhm. Definitely. To the kid. Yeah.
Julia: Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to get to the kid in time. I'm going to bonus action go into a rage, so I'm going to take whatever damage I'm going to cover the kids. So, if a car hits me, it hits me and not the child. And, while I'm doing that, I'm going to fire bolt the air conditioner. So, it gets knocked back into the window.
Eric: Hell yeah. I love this. Okay, so you're going to run—you're going to run just grab the kid and get in front of the bus, and then fucking do that? Okay, incredible. Make an attack roll on the air conditioner.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: I'm going to say that, so, because of that how difficult this shot is, you're going to need a DC 20. because you are you're down the block.
Julia: Okay,
Brandon: Eric, what's the AC of this AC?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Yes, Brandon, yes! Yes!
Julia: Okay, so I rolled the 14, my famous 2+…fuck I rolled a 19
Eric: All right. I'm gonna roll an attack for the bus.
Julia: Fine.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: I rolled a Nat 20.
Brandon: That bus was aiming for you. [Laughs]
Julia: Yeah, apparently.
Eric: Oh God, so the not—I'm gonna say the numbers first, and then you're going to take the damage. The kid will not take the damage.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Hurray!
Eric: Well, I rolled a one on the damage for the kid, so the kid is fine. You got in front of the— rolled a D-10 for the damage. I rolled 4 D-10 damage to you, and I rolled 1 D-10 to the kid, but he only got one, so he took two points of damage, because you've shielded yourself. you took 48 points of damage, which is halved to 24.
Julia: Okay, I'm fine.
Eric: Right. Here's what happens. Emily Slaughter’s in the middle of a sentence. And, then, you see that these two things are happening, you fucking—[laughs] I can only assume you just run right goddamn through the table, and just push it over. As you sprint to get in front of the kid, you shoot a fireball out of your hand that flies down to a full city block to try to hit the air conditioner, and you see it just, like, go like a firework just [makes firework noise] and [makes another firework noise], hits the right—to the left, so close to the left of the air conditioner. And as you see it almost, like, wobbles a little bit as the air conditioner falls and your eyes are on the air conditioner. As you hear [bus honking noise] [bus crashing noise]. The bus slams into you, 48 points of damage would have been incredibly devastating to so many people. But, luckily you are vibrating at a speed that you at least get to move around some of the—the damage from the bus, and it’s just like, you see the bus, like, part around you, like you're a rock in a river. And, it's just like, the metal is twisting, it’s mashed—an incredible sound of a car crash as you are wrapped around this 12-year-old kid.
Amanda: Does the fire bolts at least alert the people to look up and move out of the way?
Eric: They look up as the air conditioner wobbles and falls on top of them.
Amanda: Oof…
Eric: I'm gonna make dexterity rolls for all of them,
Amanda: Can they have advantage because they had some warning? There was a big commotion?
Eric: They're just regular people, they—it is hard to jump out of the way. They all got below 10, they don't jump out of the way, and that's when you hear, behind you say, (as Emily) Saving slash [makes whooshing noise]!
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Fine.
Eric: And, as everyone else sees Emily Slaughter slice into the air the wave of power that came from her air slash just flies like a full arc the—what looks like the sword flies through the air and powerfully flaps the air conditioning down the block as it goes [makes sound of AC falling down the block] and rolls out of the way. So, while everyone is like “Oh my god, what happened?” You hear [Explosion noise] the bus exploding around Vulcani, and Emily Slaughter shouting out one of her power moves as she—the air slashes the air conditioners saving.
Brandon: What a ridiculous name.
[Julia laughs]
Eric: And, Emily looks around and like, (as Emily) Vulcani, are you all right?
Julia (as Val): All good.
Eric (as Emily): Don't worry everyone. You're safe now.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Val just, like, checks on this little kid being like (as Val) stop wearing your headphones. Turn down the volume a little bit. You walked into traffic. Are you okay?
Eric: The 12-year-old, like, pulls one earbud of their ear and says (as the 12-year-old) What?
Julia: [Laughs] Val just gestures to the now, like, completely broken bus behind them.
Eric (as the 12-year-old): Oh no! What?
Julia (as Val): You almost got hit by a car. Please, don't wear these headphones in traffic.
Eric (as the 12-year-old): Oh-okay. Thanks, Vulcani!
Julia (as Val): Are you hurt? Are you good?
Eric (as the 12-year-old): I'm good.
Julia (as Val): All right, go play.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): Find a bicycle. Go ride a bike with your friend.
Eric (as the 12-year-old): Okay, bye! (Normal voice) The 12-year-old runs away.
Brandon: Was anybody hurt on the bus, though? Was anyone on the bus?
Eric: No, the bus—it's split, like, around the front of the bus. So, like, you see that the driver is, like, on one side of Vulcani, and, like, the door of the bus is on the other side.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: So, all that damage is going right into Vulcani.
Amanda: Good job, Julia. That was a hard situation.
Julia: Yeah, I could have done it better. But, it is what it is.
Eric: And, then, Emily Slaughter takes a second, and like, takes a deep breath in and says (as Emily) We're just happy everyone is safe. And, that there's going to be more collaboration between the Upcountry Keepers and the LT3, as we raise money to get Dr. Morrow’s dangerous science trash off of the streets!
Julia (as Val): There's a—there's a more technical name for it! It's just science stuff!
Eric (as Emily): You'll see us at that gala. (Normal voice) And, she gives a thumbs up to you from higher—over on the other side of the street.
Brandon: Punch her. Punch her. Kick her!
Julia (as Val): I can't—I can't do that. There’s people watching.
Eric: All right. Hey, Brandon?
[Amanda and Julia laugh]
Brandon: Hello! Let's go to the light fair of picking sconces!
Eric: You're gonna check out the venue, right?
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Listen, Brandon, this is a very sort of underappreciated part of Restaurant Wars. And, it's very hard on Top Chef, even if your team at the back of the house is, like, equally, you know, proficient in the kitchen, if the front of the house fucks up, you're gonna not win. So—
Brandon: That’s true.
Amanda: —you lead. you have a crucial job here. And, frankly, if we lose this challenge, you're probably in the grave danger of going home. So, just keep that one in mind.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: That's great. Thank you for that vote of confidence.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: I would also like to add, as an addendum to the little Val scene, is you get a text from Val that just says (as Val) FUCKING SHANNON REDWINE.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): -AND THE UPCOUNTRY KEEPERS THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
Amanda: Aggie learned how to use reacts and thumbs down the message.
Julia (as Val): Agreed.
Eric: Hell yeah. Okay, Brandon, you're—so, you're gonna do History. So, this is actually—I agree with everything you and Amanda said about, like, the history of Dr. Morrow, and also the history of the city and all that I think the MMFMCA is a good idea. Do a Persuasion roll for me.
Brandon: Well, now that I don't have a negative, it is—
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 6 + 0! [Laughs]
Eric: Okay. Do you go look in the MMFMCA as Milo or as Kilonova?
Brandon: I think Milo—I think Milo was like, gonna be like, (as Milo) on behalf of the…whatever we call this organization.
Eric: Yeah, you file this idea. And, of course, it comes all the way up to Mr. Brewpot. Right? And, he's like, (as Mr. Brewpot) Milo, could you come to my office for a second?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, of course.
Eric: Yeah. (As Mr. Brewpot) Milo, I think is a great idea. You know, I love a museum party. I still have—one of my favorite moments is when I went to the Natural Museum—the Natural Museum—the Natural History Museum museum, and I feel asleep—
Brandon (as Milo): Have you been to any other museums, Mr. Brewpot? Be honest.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): I have not. No—
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): —but I remember falling—we had like an overnight thing, and I fell asleep under the whale. I loved it. It was—it was a formative—formative memory of my life. And now, I work in a museum, and I love it. It's wonderful. Here's the thing. Remember, a few months back MMFMCA was attacked by a, some might call it a Giga bear—
Brandon (as Milo): I—yeah, I remember that pretty vividly. We couldn't work for like two weeks.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Yeah. Here's the thing. We—here's the thing. We're not allowed to have public events here, because the structural damage was so bad to the museum. So, unfortunately, we're gonna have to bow out of this. Again, I would love to do this. But, unfortunately, structurally, I had—I had—you know, my—my guy, Jake. My guy, Jake in the building, the Jake building inspector?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah.
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): He came in, and he said, “Nah, I don't like the look of this.” And, they were like, gonna be working on this for the rest of the year, unfortunately. So, we can't have any public events here.
Brandon (as Milo): Jake is the best of the best. So, you know, whatever Jake says we got to go for it. So, that's fine. Do you still want to be, like, uh…I'll go look at other places. But, do you want to like, sort of like, co-host? Co-sponsor? Maybe, like, send some, like, cool artifacts for atmosphere?
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): Oh, absolutely. We definitely want to demonstrate the difference between science trash and science museum-not-trash.
[Amanda laugh]
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): So, we’re gonna—
Brandon (as Milo): Science museum trash!
Eric (as Mr. Brewpot): We're still going to be extremely involved. We just don't—we cannot host it here, unfortunately.
Brandon (as Milo): Cool. I get that. Thanks, Mr. Brewpot. (Normal voice) And, I give him a hug.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: [Softly] What?
Brandon: I just want to see what he would do—[laughs]
Eric: Mr. Brewpot is stiff for a second and then quickly hugs you back and then comes off and be like, (as Mr. Brewpot) Alright, that's enough of that.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: So, I think that you—you had some other leads, that maybe Carmen and January threw together, just venues around Laketown City. And, like, some of them are, like, too big and some of them are too small. Some of them are way too expensive. And—
Brandon: I mean, Milo definitely goes to Astro’s at least for—to get a quote, you know?
Eric: Yeah. McHenry says, (as McHenry) No.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Fair enough.
Eric: Where would you take a break while looking at venues around the city?
Brandon: Hmm. Where would Milo take a break…I think, maybe there's like a, like a little duck pond. An Industry-10 somewhere that Milo has been going to since it opened when he was a kid, you know, with his dad.
Eric: I like that. Yeah, I'm sure there's all over the city. I mean, even in New York City, there's just, like, random green patches around. I like the idea of, there's little ducks there.
Brandon: And, there's a little, like, bodega thing next to it. So, he, like, picks up some—what's healthy for ducks?
Eric: Oh, they love frozen peas.
Amanda: Oh, really?
Brandon: I’ll pick up some frozen peas to give to the duck
Eric: You throw some frozen peas, and three ducks are fighting each other to get those frozen peas. It's—it's ferocious, truly.
Brandon: But there's no geese, because fuck geese.
Eric: Yeah [laughs]. Truly, fuck geese. There's a sign next to the duck pond that says, “Fuck Geese”.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Paid for by the LTC parks and recreation. Make a perception check for me, my man.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Um, Natural 20 plus 9?
Amanda: What?
Julia: What??
Eric: That’s four natural 20s? In the last two episodes?
Brandon: I—look, I'm not lying, I just roll. I don't know—
Eric: Holy shit. Okay, Natural 20.
Amanda: I think all of Brandon's luck has finally come out.
Eric: Come in, yeah, it’s come in.
Amanda: Because, if you average out Brandon's roles over the last four years, quite average.
Brandon: I've been saying that since Campaign One, Amanda!!!
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Okay. You're looking around, and you're having a great time at the duck pond. With a Natural 20, you see that there's something out of place here. There's some people—in the middle of the day, where you got a chance to, like, look around at these venues. And, like, yeah, there are some—some parents walking around with their kids who are, like, who still need to be like, you know, supervised around a duck pond. And, there's, like, some kids, like, just kicking it under a tree with like a Beats Pill or, like, we—you know, one of those little speakers, and they're playing some hip hop tunes. And, you know, there's like—there's like an old couple sitting there on the bench. And, yeah, on another bench, there's kind of, like, an old timey gangster wearing a collared pinstripe suit. And—
Amanda: Huh?
Eric: —like, you know, the bodega guy has some ice creams. He's getting an ice cream—
Brandon: Is he in black and white? [laughs]
Eric: Oh! Which? Oh, the, the—
Julia: The bodega guy with the ice cream, obviously.
Eric: Yeah, the guy with the—no, he's in full color.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Um…Oh! You want to talk about the guy—[laughs] you want to talk about the gangster?
Brandon: A little bit. Yeah, well, tell me what kind of ice cream that bodega guy has for us. Is it, like, one of those, like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ones? Or, like, Sonic ones?
Eric: Yeah, they’re getting the SpongeBob ice cream pops. And—but yeah, the ga—there's this gangster—this, like, 1920s looking gangster, right? And, he's sitting there on the bench, and he's looking around incredibly shifty. And, you're looking at him, and you see that, like, he's wearing a pinstripe suit. It's like—it's a charcoal gray base and the pinstripes are running through it. But you look closer, and you see each one of the pin stripes are a different color. Like, it's not in rainbow, it's like, ah…Joseph's Technicolor Dreamcoat. Like there's—[laughs] there are pinstripes of every single different color on his suit.
Brandon: [Singing to the tune of Joseph’s Technicolor Dreamcoat] Ochre and peach and violet and black and orange and yellow—
Eric: And Ochre, and ochre, and ochre, and ochre—
Brandon: And ochre, and ochre.
Eric: Yeah. And he saying—he's looking incredibly shifty, and he's looking over at the ducks.
Brandon: If this fucker tries to fuck with my ducks, I will fuck his duck.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: No.
Eric: Hell yeah.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: So, yeah, with the Natural 20, you’re seeing him—he hasn't done anything yet, but he's looking incredibly shifty and incredibly weird. And, he's, like, looking at the ducks.
[Sound of ducks quacking in the pond starts]
Brandon: Uh, I think I'm gonna go over to him. And, just be like, (as Milo) Oh, hey, welcome to the duck pond. I haven’t seen here before. My name is Milo. How are you? You want some frozen peas?
Eric (as Mr. Pinstripe): Oh, I’m here, see? I'm just here to look at the pond. I'm looking at a duck. See? This is not gonna have—you're gonna leave me alone. I'm gonna be fine here, see? You should probably leave me alone because everyone knows me around these parts, says a real bad guy. So, you should leave me around—leave me alone. See?
Brandon (as Milo): That’s weird to say out loud to a person who's just trying to say hello. But, if you are a bad guy, maybe you should leave? There's children here, you know. And ducks.
Eric (as Mr. Pinstripe): You're not gonna—you're not gonna make me leave, See, I'm Mr. Pinstripe. And, Mr. Pinstripe doesn't do nothing for nobody.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, again, a weird thing to say out loud. To a…
Eric (as Mr. Pinstripe): Man, if you want to be helpful, see, you can point me in the direction of those Laketown City 3. Do you have—you ever know where any of those people might be?
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, why would I know where they are?
Eric (as Mr. Pinstripe): Well, you're being helpful. So, that's why I'm asking you for what I want.
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, you can look on Instagram—
Julia: Is this Danny Devito’s Penguin?
Eric: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. (as Mr. Pinstripe) Okay, I guess I'll look— I don’t have one of those. I still have a 2007 razor, so I don't get access on the internet.
Brandon (as Milo): That's fine. Okay, well, it was nice to meet you. (Normal Voice) And, Milo puts his hand out to shake it. Does he take it?
Julia: Does he take it? Does he take the hand?
Amanda: He's an old timey dude, so not shaking someone's hand would be mean basically a duel.
Julia: Disrespect, really.
Eric: You put out your hand to shake. And, at this point, he reaches onto the suit and pulls the ochre pinstripe and the pinstripe wraps around his hand. And, he takes your hand and grabs and you feel, like, electric shock run through your body like a buzzer.
Julia: Is he the Joker? What’s happening here?
Eric (as Mr. Pinstripe): Ah! You shouldn't be shaking hands with bad guys, because bad things happen to you, see?
Brandon (as Milo): All right. Good prank…
Mr. Pinstripe: Thank you.
Brandon (as Milo): But, you're gonna leave this pond and this city, and never come back. (Normal voice) And I'm gonna catch gaes on this guy.
Julia: You're going to ruin Eric’s entire plot for this—this arc.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: It’s a Nat 20 baby!
Julia: I know.
Brandon: I placed a magical command on a creature, and you must exceed on a wisdom saving throw or become charmed by me for the duration.
Eric: Hell yeah. Okay, wisdom saving roll.
Amanda: Fuck yeah, dude.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: All right, I rolled the 3.
Amanda: Yeah!
Brandon: Well, it's my 17. So… I'm gonna roll my spell surge real fast. I currently have a 4.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Thank Christ, it was a 6.
Eric: Great. Okay. So, what does it look like when you cast this enchantment on a person, making them do what you want and control all of their actions and the—the human ramifications of that?
Brandon: Well, he's trying to be inconspicuous about this, obviously. So, I think when Milo reaches hands out to shake Mr. Pinstripe’s hand, I think he did it with his left hand. And, the sort of, like, ghostly arm sort of, like, encapsulated his actual arm. And, so it just sort of, like, connects and then cast the spell that way as he, like, stares at him in the eyes and tells him what to do.
Eric: Cool. Okay, I think you do that. And, I think that for a second. You see, like, Mr. Pinstripes, cartoonish gangster eyes, like, go white for a second. And, then, it flashes back and be like, (as Mr. Pinstripe) Man, I don't know why I'm in this rinky dink town. It was so much better for me, Mr. Pinstripe to do—maybe I'll go to New York City, like I always wanted to. (Normal voice) And, he pulls another—the, like, crimson pinstripe off of his suit. And, he throws it on the ground, and it becomes a little, like, a sports car, a little red sports car.
Julia: [Laughs] That’s cool.
Eric: And it just, like, turns into a red sports car in front of you. And, he jumps in and says (as Mr. Pinstripe) So long, suckers [car vrooming noise]! (Normal voice) And, just peel out—out of the out of the park and drives away on the highway.
Brandon: And, then, Milo sits back down on the bench. Starts throwing peas into the pond.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: To be fair, it only lasts for 30 days. So, he could return at some point.
Eric: Cool. Yeah.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: LOL. I can’t believe that happened. That's very fun. This is a fun game.
Brandon: Milo’s a really good superhero. So…
Eric: You're really good. You're so good at superhero.
Brandon: Really famous and really skilled.
Eric: Hell yeah. Why don’t you make a History check for me?
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 8 + 5, for 13.
Eric: Okay, that's perfect. So, with 13, rest of the day doesn't really go that well, you don't see a lot of—a lot of places. All the places that you had had leads on are booked or too expensive or aren't really looking—aren’t really figuring out what you want. And, that's when you got—all three of you get a text from Emily Slaughter.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: And may—I think that you've been trying to look at the venue. This is still pretty short notice, by planning this thing on three weeks, and it's taken a while, especially after Milo was—only tried to hit every place, and you were really banking on the museum to be the place. And with 13, Emily's letter says, (as Emily) Hey, y’all! I'm so glad to be back in touch! I’m so excited this is happening. Hey, listen, I know that you have done a lot of your own planning on this. But, just in case, I know of a spot that I've been to a bunch of parties before, and they actually just lost their event that was going to be on the weekend that you all wanted, and I think you're really gonna enjoy. Do you want me to hook you up with it? (Normal voice) And, she sends a link to the website for the Eight Square Plaza. This place is inspired by this place in New York City called The Beekman Hotel, where it used to be a, like, one of the first skyscrapers in New York City in like 1883. It was, like, seven stories, then it got shut down in the 1940s, and then it got to restored lately. And now, it's, like, this beautiful hotel in there. So, I—what I was thinking is, like, there's this very similar place in Laketown City, that was built during the boom of construction in the 1990s, where like “Oh! We’re got to make this, like, deluxe, beautiful, incredible looking hotel that everyone—everyone extremely wants to stay in!” And then, of course, no one stayed in the hotel. So, it was immediately shut down and boarded up. And, I think recently they've restored it to its incredible glory that it is now, and now it's like this kinda this, like, super swanky venue. The Eight Square Plaza is named after the Eight Square brick, because it's made all out of—out of, like, the red brick on the outside, and it has all these, like, cast iron balconies that surround all the five stories of the building. The incredible thing about it is that on the first floor, like the atrium, it actually goes all the way up. The second, third, fourth and fifth floors are actually—have balconies that look down on the main floor. And, on the top floor, on the sixth floor, there is a large pyramid shaped skylights. And, then there's like a—on the—on that top floor, there's also, like, a roof deck so you could look down on the party and also look out on Laketown City.
Julia: Perfect for bad guys to just crash through.
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Eric: Honestly, it looks tight as hell. Emily has a connect, and if you want to have the gala here, you totally have that opportunity.
Julia (as Val): Better than nothing.
Brandon (as Milo): I have no pride here. I would—I have lurked everywhere. Let's—I say we go for it, assuming that the price is right and everything like that.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, we can't just have it in Dr. Morrow’s house right?
Amanda (as Aggie): No, I was thinking, like, the town plaza, but it could definitely rain or get too cold.
Brandon (as Milo): If we have in Dr. Morrow's house, someone will find something and in some odd closet—
Julia (as Val): Yeah, no I’m realizing the problem of people bringing science trash, it just exponentially increases when there's already house with all of it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Listen, I think let's do it. But, we need to assign someone to do security at this party. I know that this is the spirit of everyone working together to make the city safer. I do not trust Emily even as far as Val can throw her.
Julia (as Val): Thank you. That's very far.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Maybe a metaphor, it should be that as far as I could throw her, but you know what I mean.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. you're also very strong. It’s as far as Milo could throw her—
Brandon (as Milo): Hey!
Julia (as Val): If he wasn’t using ghost powers.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): That's fair!
Eric: [Laughs] Wonderful. Hell yeah. Yeah. So, do you text anything back to Emily?
Julia (as Val): Book it.
Eric (as Emily): Nice. Incredible. I'm so happy that I can help! This will be wonderful for us to do together. I'm so looking forward to it.
Brandon (as Milo): Put it under our name!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, yeah all the reservations are under the LT3, like vendors and stuff just to make sure there's no miscommunications. Definitely just book it for the LT3.
Eric (as Emily): Oh, okay, I mean, like, I—listen, I—they called me, so if it's easier for me to put it under my name—
Brandon (as Milo): Our name—
Julia (as Val): No, book it for the LT3—
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, you know, Emily, liaising.
Eric (as Emily): Oh, yeah, no, totally fine. Oh, yeah. Whatever, whatever, whatever you'd like that’s totally fine. (Normal voice) And now the Eight Square Plaza is yours.
Julia (as Val): We did it. We planned a gala, everyone.
Eric: Emily sends you more photos of the Eight Square Plaza, where it's all just, like, warm yellow light inside. There's a photo of, like, a chef holding a steak out on a plate, like from one of those like metal cover things. Lots of stuff like that.
Brandon: A closh.
Eric: A closh—thank you, Brandon.
Brandon: I am terrified that this is a cover for some eight bit thing, and it was—
Julia: Oh, almost definitely, but we’ll be careful.
Amanda: Almost definitely, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, we have the auction, We have the invitees. We got the heroes. We got the venue. And, now all that's left is to secure our own party.
[Ominous transition music]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. The players aren't here right now, so I'd like to show you something happening somewhere else in Lake Town City.
A woman in a white lab coat fiddles with one of many knobs on a massive control board, the glow of something purple, electric and alive illuminating her figure from the right side. She's white, but deeply tanned, from a rigorous schedule of sunbathing on the roof of this facility. Under the white coat, she wears a pink tie-dyed sweatshirt cropped right in the middle, jean shorts cut off by hand from mom jeans, and some very, very worn in Birkenstocks.
She twists a knob one way, adjusts some sliders up and down, but the purple glow stays exactly the same. She doesn't seem bothered by that, just trying it all out, seeing what works. She's half-humming a song about someone paving paradise and putting up a parking lot. She stays unconcerned even when a small figure swoops in from above. it has the body of a Mario Bomb-omb, a basketball-sized black orb with two circles for eyes, incredibly detailed dragon wings. While she, and you, the listener, may have seen this creature before, this one has, where a mouth should be, a boombox.
The tanned woman in the lab coat looks up and smiles, and turns the boombox on. She sings the chorus about paving over paradise, and expects the boombox to sing along. But, instead, it crackles with a different voice. (as Boombox Creature) Hey, just checking on the status of this. You know, the deadline is coming up in a few days, so I wanted to see you'll be good to go by then. (as tanned woman) Oh, hey, yeah, just keeping myself flowing, working out the bugs and kinks. This is my first large-scale project with the bio-energy, but it is a new and fun challenge. But, you know, it shouldn't be a problem. (as Boombox Creature) Oh, great, good to hear. You know, just triple checking, ha ha. You know what to do? You’re confirmed on the plan? (as tanned woman) I remember. 6pm, Threadbare will start working from here, and then step on sight. As soon as everything is fully set up, distraction team go, and I will flip the switch. And, then, the world will spin as it should. (as Boombox Creature) Wonderful. 100%. Perfect. Great. Thank you. Totally unrelated topic, have you heard at all from Mr. Pinstripe? (as tanned woman) No, he's been radio silent for a few days now. His phone is off and he hasn't signed into EvilSlack at all. (As Boombox Creature) Hm. I don’t know why I pay for EvilSlack, if people don’t sign into it. Okay. Well, you know, if anyone on your side could own this, that would keep everything moving forward. Really appreciate that. (As tanned woman) Mmmmm, yeah, sure, I will see who can get on that. (As Boombox Creature) All right. Great, well that's all I had here, so I'm going to get out of your hair, (Normal voice) the drone primed its dragon wings, ready to end this check-in meeting, as soon as possible. (As tanned woman) Great, thank you. Peace and love, good vibes. Let the current take you where your boat was meant to go. (Normal voice) The woman in the coat smiles and presses her hands together in that prayer-hands emoji, and switches the boombox off.
The drone swoops away, and the tanned woman in the coat returns to fiddling with switches, humming to herself again. After a few moments, she stretches to hit a button far to her right, and the purple glow intensifies and crackles. (As tanned woman) Yesss, there it is. No one is getting out of this thing. Don't it always seem to go. And you don't know what you got, til its gone.
[Ominous music ends]
[Outro Theme Music]
Transcript by Sarah Patt