42. Join the Committee VIII

Bro, you had to be there. Wyvern tells you what happened in the secret underwater base.


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Cast & Crew

- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Multitude: multitude.productions


About Us

Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.

Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.


Transcript

Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.

Eric: Gutenberg invited the LT3 for a sit down, a real boss fight. He revealed his endgame: automating superhero-dom with powered people he created. It's the Netflix of superheroes, It's the Uber of saving people, right? The LT3 saw through that shit and then threw down. Especially because he lied about having January. Vulcani punched and punched and punched, Tuna knocked down a camera that was live streaming the entire fight, Kilonova almost died but didn't, and Multitool filmed Dr. Morrow stepping down as the mayor and admitting to be the secret benefactor behind the LT3. Well, what happens next? Let's get the party started.

[JTP Theme Music]

Eric: Oh bro! You had to be there. So, like, we were all just hanging out, right? We were inside of, like, a prison but it was a jail, but also instead of bars, it was more, like, a force field that no one could really go through which I didn't really appreciate. But we still had all these people together and I guess, like, it was weird because I didn't know at the time that we were inside of the water. But now that I'm thinking about it, I would... did feel a little wobbly. Like when you're on a sea boat for the first time and your friend is like, I... Oh. I definitely own this sea boat and you're not sure if that friend does in fact own the sea boat, but you're going to do it because you... you don't have a lot of experience in your life living in the city to go on the sea boat. And then, you get to do it but then you're... you don't understand as well on it is as you could see you have to fly away while your friends are having a good time on the sea boat. As the three of you are sitting down in Dr. Morrow's living room with Wyvern on a backwards chair, this is the hunting lodge room. So, it's, like, he has managed to sit backwards on an overstuffed leather chair. Like, his legs are over the back.

Amanda: Like spider man or sitting on a stool on the chair.

Eric: [Stutters] No. It's fully, like, over it and his wigs are, like, also propping them up a little bit.

Amanda: Great.

Eric: As he is excitedly trying to tell you what happened while you three + Fritz + Dr. Morrow went to the Vitamin M factory.

Julia (as Val): Okay, Wyvern, I have asked, like, three times now to get a list of everyone who was there with you. Can you please deliver on that and stop telling me stories about the time you went on your friend's sea boat?

Brandon (as Milo): Wyvern, sing me sea shanty. Milo is on the couch resting.

Julia (as Val): Milo, please.

Eric: That's a good question. Let's illustrate Milo for a second. Milo, you are now up to 9HP, and your entire chest is encased in a sort of, like, honeycomb cast, as Hive has healed you for 9HP, but you need to stay really still. And you can't... do not move or you're gonna break the honeycomb cast.

Brandon: Can I take little, little bites?

Eric: Actually make a dexterity check for me.

Brandon: Okay.

[Amanda snickers]

Brandon: 5 +

Amanda: Oh, buddy.

Brandon: 2 for 7.

Eric: Sorry, I rolled a 6. So yeah, I'm supposed to tell you not to do that but you'd still just go and get it. You're also down to 8 hit points because you ate some of your cast.

Amanda: Uh-oh.

Eric: Unfortunately.

Julia (as Val): Milo, we keep telling you, do we have to put a cone on you like a dog?

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Brandon (as Milo): Please don't.

Eric (as Wyvern): Yeah. Wyvern says, "Yeah, I was there and Hive was there, and, like, a bunch of bad guys were there. And um, yeah, but you couldn't touch the side of it because then you would get hurt.

Julia (as Val): Wyvern, list of people. You... besides you and Hive.

Eric (as Wyvern): Okay, fine.

Amanda (as Aggie): We're just mostly interested in the part of the story after you got abducted.

Eric: Yeah. So, everyone who was missing, over the course of this entire arc that we've done here, has now kind of gathered at Dr. Morrow as for, like, it's kind of like once your baseball season is over. And if this isn't a Chucky Cheese but imagine you're all kind of covered together. Maybe for Amanda and Julia this is after the play is over. And everyone's, like, a little still, like, drunk off the fact that it's over and you can't believe that it's finished.

Amanda: Yeah, this is less the cast party than a strike, you know?

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah. There's this is really real weird energy as everyone is kind of walking around, as you're in kind of, like, the... the warm browns and orange lights of the hunting lodge room at Dr. Morrow's place.

Amanda: Eric, how's January?

Eric: January is not here because he is sleeping up in his bed.

Julia: Good.

Brandon: That's good.

Julia: He deserves it, that sweet little boy.

Eric: Sweet boy. How... hey, how do you think all of your characters are doing after all this? After Gutenberg tried to pull one over on you, you started out in your party clothes, and now you have done an entire adventure. On the other side, how are all of you feeling?

Julia: You know how you have some days where you go through life and you get shit done just out of pure spite?

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: That's kind of where Val is at right now.

Eric: You know what's weird, you wrote that the... I'm remembering all the way back in episode one. You wrote that down on a piece of paper and tacked it to your... your--

Julia: To the board.

Eric: --board. And you're like, "I'm always gonna remember that." I feel like that's Val all the time. Extremely here, we're down to the core of Val here.

Julia: Even more so facing off against Gutenberg and him not even sending his own self to come to do the fight, Val's furious.

Brandon: Bad. Milo feels bad.

Eric: Nice.

Brandon: In a lot of pain, really sore. You know how, like, when you exercise, and exercise is horrible, and you want to do it for as little as possible, then you end up doing it and you don't want to ever do it again?

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: Mhmm.

Brandon: Yeah. It's... that's Milo, but also you got hit in the head by, like, I don't know, a rock or something.

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Eric: I was on the treadmill and then someone punched me in the face.

Brandon: Yep.

Eric: And then I had to get back on the treadmill.

Brandon: Yeah.

[Everybody laughs]

Amanda: I think Aggie has been trying to place the feeling and then sitting there on the, like, Chesterfield sofa, finally does, which is when you're in a huge fight with one of your siblings, and then someone makes fun of your sibling and then you have to go take care of that person. And then at the end of it, you've had a fight and you're still in a fight. And that's how she feels.

Eric: Mmh.

Amanda: Where it's like, Okay. Dr. Morrow was my Dr. Morrow and she was very imperfect, but also I hate that this guy made her do this. She didn't have to do this, and then she did it anyway. And I had cool friends with me, did a bunch of moves. Like, so many things about this should have been great, and yet it sucks. And this... the whole thing was my idea in the first place, and what if I'm responsible for Milo feeling bad and January having had a [stutters] single hair on his little head, singed? And just stewing with just [groans] emotion.

Eric: I think also you can see Fritz is kind of just standing in a corner looking at some books with a mug of something hot. He hasn't said anything over the last few hours since you all kind of reconvened at Dr. Morrow's after coming from the Vitamin M factory. I would like to take a moment here and just press pause on this scene and I would, "Hey, players."

[Amanda stammers]

Eric: Can we come over..

Amanda: Sorry, I'm... I'm mid sip.

[Amanda stammers]

Eric: Oh, no. Aggie. I hope Aggie, when you come back into Aggie's body you will spill a liquid all over her.

Amanda: How do you know it's freeze-framed, Eric, because the drop of liquid is right there in the air.

Eric: It's true. The Sommelier is currently sneezing.

Amanda: Oh no.

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Eric: Hey players, why don't you come over with me into the other room?

Amanda: Oh, is it... is it sound for you?

Julia: Um... O-okay.

Brandon: Uhh, no.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Eric: Okay, so Brandon's. Brandon, can you just, like, turn off your mic and your video?

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Okay, great. Also, Julia and Amanda come with me to the other room.

Amanda: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Eric: [Imitates clumping, stomping, and creaking sound]

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: [Imitates clumping sounds] Brandon, you're doing okay over there?

Brandon: Yeah, I'm doing great.

Eric: Okay, this is your last chance, you want to participate?

Brandon: Fine.

Eric: Okay, great.

Brandon: When... when anyone tells me to, "Hey, come into my... come into this room." I just... my default is no.

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Julia: We're not going to that secondary location.

Eric: So, Julia, Amanda, are you doing okay while Brandon's gonna take a little while for him to come into the other room.

Amanda: I'm on... I'm on tenterhooks here.

Eric: Oh, wonderful.

Brandon: [Imitates clumping and slamming sounds]

Eric: Oh, well, good. Brandon, that was a creaky door. Thank you for fixing it. I.. I would like to play a little game with you. I think I would love to try to fill in what happened in the other place while you were all taking care of what happened with Gutenberg, I want to talk about what happened at the underwater base run by the People's River, and it is a game I would like to call: Bro, you had to be there.

[Brandon and Julia laughs]

Amanda: Oh my god.

Eric: Okay. Here's how the game works. Wyvern is telling you how everyone got out of the underwater base, but he has been watching maybe a little bit too much Arrow. A little bit too much of The CW. Maybe a little bit too much of My Hero Academia. So, his story is pretty gosh-darn dramatic. We're gonna answer some questions to kind of fill in what happened here, as Wyvern sets the scene before he actually starts getting the story. Much like we did during the world-building episodes, we're going to answer some questions, we're all going to do it together but the person who chooses that question will have a final execution on it, and they will figure out what exactly happens here.

Amanda: Oh, fuck yeah, dude.

Julia: Okay, okay.

Amanda: I'm so excited.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Wonderful.

Brandon: This is gonna be fun.

Amanda: It's awesome.

Eric: Wonderful. First things first though, we all need to decide what the roles of our team would be if we were in an action movie or a heist movie. I think this since Amanda is here, this is more of a heist.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: What do you think all of our roles would be?

Amanda: I think Julia would still be the muscle. I know this is a Julia and Val overlap.

Eric: Sure. No, I agree with that.

Julia: I'm flattered.

Eric: Yeah. I feel like Brandon would be the tech guy again. I know that's a little--

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: --on the nose.

Amanda: Is that too on the nose?

Eric: But like, I--

Amanda: [Stutters] I mean, Brandon's the Rihanna. That's how we refer to it.

Eric: The Rihanna.

Amanda: And then you get to wear a gown and steal jewels.

Brandon: I'm into that.

Julia: The problem is there's no muscle in Ocean's 8. Where was the muscle in Ocean's 8?

Amanda: They're all the muscle, Julia, that's feminism.

Julia: That's true.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Fair enough. You got me. You got me right there.

Eric: Put that on a shirt, guys. Put it on a shirt. Fucking retroactively marketing team, Ocean's 8 get in here. I do want... I want Brandon to say something to me, and then I say, "English please." And then Brandon says in, like, a simplified way.

Brandon: Can you give me a couple roles? Like, can you give me some options here?

Eric: Sure, yeah. So, we have muscle, the face, the brains, the inside man, the wheels.

Amanda: The grifter.

Eric: Yeah, the grift.

Amanda: Like, the character actor.

Eric: Like, the designated thief. The one who is going to do the steal.

Brandon: Oh, that's Amanda, man. Just a thief.

[Eric laughs]

Brandon: No one suspects Amanda to steal things.

Amanda: Yeah. I'm... I'm the one who, like, does the fake the, like, misdirect in the handshake where you actually steal the watch.

Brandon: Mhmm.

Amanda: So, I'll say I'm the hands.

Julia: You're the Matt Damon. Got it.

Amanda: Yes.

Eric: Oh, I like that.

Amanda: Yes.

Brandon: Eric, I could see you being the inside person or yeah, like the character actor. Is that the same?

Eric: Oh, yeah.

Amanda: The Sophie from leverage.

Eric: Nice. I think Julia... so Julia could be the muscle and I can be the face. And then Amanda is the hands, and Brandon, you're the tech guy.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: The brain.

Eric: The brain .

Brandon: I also want to stuff myself into a suitcase. Is that a thing I'm allowed to do?

Amanda: Yes.

Eric: We will have to double.

Amanda: Do the acrobat, yeah,

Eric: We'll definitely have to double roles at some point. Like, Brandon also drives and does gymnastics.

Amanda: Great.

Eric: I like that. Okay.

Julia: The grease man.

Eric: So I think that Bran-- Is Brandon, the person who's considered the brains here?

Brandon: By default.

Eric: Yeah. good. Can we have a small... we have a small party?

Amanda: Let's do it.

Eric: Alright. Brandon, as the brains, please assign an order of us for going 1, 2, 3 and 4.

Brandon: Okay. Eric, one. Julia, two. Me, three. Amanda, four.

Eric: Alight. So, here is how this is going to work. I'm going to roll a D12, and I'm going to answer a question that I have put together on our list of what happened at the underwater base, okay? Everyone may and should participate and contribute, but it is the responsibility of the person who rolled to lock that answer in. This should be within reason within canon. ie: it can't contradict something that already exists, but can add or build upon things that we have not discussed. For example, here are people who could not have been there. The LT3, obviously you were doing stuff Dr. Morrow, I would say I'm gonna disqualify real Gutenberg away but a fake Gutenberg could also be there. Muncher, Threadbare, anything else. There is some flexibility I guess what you can add on top of it.

Amanda: And Fritz.

Eric: And Fritz. Thank you. Here are some people who I can say definitively were kidnapped though. Wyvern, Hive, January, Ant Min, Emily Slaughter, and Taxonomy.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: People who we know for a fact were on the outside was Tough Stuff, The Sommelier, Byron Zorn, and Flyboy, and some bad guys who you know about are the People's River and Triplicate.

Julia: Oh, that's their name, huh?

Eric: Triplicate and also Big Jeff, and Painkiller Larsson.

Julia: Would Knight of Mirrors also count in people on the outside?

Eric: This leads right into the example. For example, in cannon, the Knight of Mirrors has already said that the Knight of Mirrors is not participating. The Knight of Mirrors was not, like, fucking busting into this water base and telling Milo  that wasn't the case.

Brandon: What about the wife?

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: Yeah, also... and also the wife. The wife is also not there.

Amanda: In quotation marks?

Eric: Yeah. Here is the only wrinkle. I'm giving everyone one token to play: Bro, you had to be there. Everyone gets one epic exaggeration during play.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Wyvern remembers it as fucking epic. Now, you may play this on your question or on someone else's question, but you can only do it once per game and you have to say: Bro, you had to be there.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Funny.

Eric: However, once you play, Bro, you have to be there. The other players, you may slip back into your own players and interrogate Wyvern, which I will then need to run with and say... and say that this actually happened as long as you don't do it in character voice.

Brandon: Love it.

Julia: Okay.

Amanda: Can't wait.

Eric: Alright, does anyone else have any questions before we start?

Julia: Nope.

Eric: Alright. Cool.

[Dice rolls]

Eric: Alright, I rolled a six. Six. Two unexpected people bond. Who are they and what about?

Amanda: Very good.

Eric: Incredible.

Julia: Okay.

[Eric snickers]

Eric: I mean, like, it has to be Ant Min and Wyvern, right?

[Brandon snickers]

Julia: I was gonna suggest Ant Min and Hive but Ant Min feels like the right person here.

Eric: Yeah, that Ant Min definitely stands out. Just to set the scene a little bit, I do like that I'm going first. So, as Wyvern is starting to tell the story of the three of you in Dr. Morrow's hunting lodge, living room, you get the sense that you're kind of in a very, like, spare metal cage. Like, everything, remember, everything about the People's River is very, like, futurist sci-fi. Like, what did people in the 1970s think 2020 was gonna look like. So, like, lots of Chrome, lots of bright blue and white and things like that. So, they're just, like, very much, like, in an all metal-like sparse closet.

[Brandon wheezes]

Eric: But instead of a door, there's, like, a gate that has vibrating purple energy. Kind of like warbling and wobbling in front of it. Sitting to the left of it is this, like, really, really big, super chunky, I guess, control panel is the only thing I can... I can say. Like, there's lots of keyboards, lots of dials, lots of beeps and boops, and light. And like, there's a... an incredibly oversized screen. Like, a whole... a whole wall in there. Like, the size of a small, like, movie theater because, you know, they didn't get to... get making small computers just yet. And when they figured all that stuff out for the People's River, he goes to see there are a bunch of those People's River folk. So, lots of people who look like they came in from a music festival, but then on top, they have white lab coats.

[Julia wheezes]

Eric: It's like you see someone into, like, a crop top and, like, maybe a little glitter on their stomach.

Amanda: Great.

Eric: And like jean shorts, and Birkenstocks, and then a lab coat. You see someone wearing, like, a tune squad, Space Jam and Jersey.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: And like, and more jean shorts and...

Amanda: Eric Silver is that you?

Eric: No, it's not me. I'm not part of People's River, and flip flops but also, like, a lab coat on top of it. Someone, like, carrying around, like, a massive piece of... of science equipment. Someone has, like, an oversized canon. They're like showing to each other and making specifications, writing things down. And I think that everyone has kind of been pulled in here, and it's been, like, a few hours since everyone had been kidnapped. And there's just been a lot of, like, looking around at each other. And I think Wyvern also just, like, tries to strike up a conversation with Ant Min at some point, because like, he does not know who she is, right? So, it's just like, "Hey, so all of us are like this, and you're like someone's grandma?

Amanda: Ow.

Eric: Can we explain--

Brandon: Tactful.

Eric: --explain that is?

Brandon: Good job.

Eric: He didn't. I don't think. No. He didn't say that. I mean, like, that's what the meaning, but I think, you know what, he probably just said that, right?

Amanda: Yeah, he kind of did.

Eric: He's like, "So, we're all... we all have powers and we're all, like, superheroes and stuff, but like, you're someone's grand... grandmother."

Brandon: In the comic book of this panel whenever Wyvern says superhero like, "I'm a superhero," there's a big asterisk next to it. And then in the bottom corner it says: Intern.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Amanda: Very good.

Eric: Yep. And Ant Min, maybe Ant Min says like, "I have forgotten more during my dreams than you will ever know in your entire life." And then, Wyverns like, "Oh, tell me... tell me more about that. What should I know?"

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Current draft card.

Julia: Buddy, that means nothing.

Eric: She just, like, tries to, like, drop life advice on him and all that.

Amanda: Yeah, she's an overflowing pitcher of nothing and he is in an endless void.

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: Start saving for college now.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: It's too late at that point.

Brandon: Yeah.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Like old wives tales from, like, the old country that he is... she's now giving to, it was like, "Oh, I should... Man, I should keep salt in my pockets at all times. I'm gonna write this down, this is so smart." And like no, I don't think anyone has the heart to tell him who she is, if anyone... even everyone knows.

Julia: Oh, outside of the story Val has just, like, grabbed his face and be like, "Don't listen to a single word he tells you."

Eric: Why she's?

Julia: Sweet summer child.

Eric: She's so... she was really nice and she--

Julia: No.

Eric: --gave me a lot of advice.

Julia: No.

Eric: Why? Who is she? Is she your grandma?

Amanda: Should I--

Julia: No.

Amanda: --join the family?

Eric: She said she wanted to give me a job. I don't... are you guys?

Julia: No, do not take jobs from her. I am honestly shocked that she didn't, like, attempt to murder you after you called her a grandma.

Eric: That's very funny. I also don't think anyone has the heart to tell him. I don't know who in the room would know but I think Emily Slaughter would know.

Julia: Oh, Emily for sure.

Eric: And she just, like, wouldn't say anything.

[Amanda snickers]

Julia: And I mean, like, January knows because we've faced off against Ant Min.

Eric: No, January also definitely knows. I think January, January is just, like, distraught right now. I think everyone just, like, does not know what's going on. So, Emily Slaughter is making the choice not to help but January just, like, is rattled.

Brandon: I love this. I just want to, in my headcanon, think about Ant Min and Taxonomy in Moose form becoming good friends, because that's really delightful for me.

Eric: I don't know if they became close, but I like the idea that he is afraid of her. And like, she's like, “Can you become like, one of the birds I saw at the top of the Mount of Machu Picchu,” and he's like, "Okay," and he turns into, like, a bird of paradise. He's like, "Again! Again!" And she's, like, getting him to do stuff. And he's like, "This mob woman is making turn into animals."

[Brandon and Julia laughs]

Julia: Correct.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: The correct response.

Eric: I love that as well, that's also cannon. Wonderful. There you go.

[Brandon snickers]

Eric: Alright, going next is Ghoulia.

Julia: Ghoulia is gonna roll.

[Dice rolls]

Julia: Ghoulia got a 1.

Eric: One. Some people are on edge. Who can't really hold it together?

Julia: So, I have two thoughts. One, based on just what you just said, which is, January is distraught.

Eric: Mhmm.

Julia: So, January's probably not keeping it together, but I also think depending on again, I don't know the motivations of Emily Slaughter at the moment but Emily Slaughter not being able to, like, keep things together, like, not being able to take control of the situation, I think, it's very interesting.

Eric: I think it'd be both. I like that. I think January's just, like, obviously distraught, but like yeah, let's pull on that Emily Slaughter stuff a little bit. What do you think she's doing?

Julia: I am imagining, she's trying to do, like, some weird meditation that she learned about on a podcast. Like a female empowerment podcast.

Eric: Hell yes.

Julia: Or something like that. And every time, like, something clatters or someone walks by she, like, is very not relaxed. Obviously, not meditating.

Eric: Mhmm.

Julia: So, I almost picture her, like, snapping at someone. Like, while Ant Min and Wyvern are talking about like... or Taxonomy turns into, like, a weird animal that, like, touches her at one point, and she, like, flips out.

Eric: Oh, yeah. I love that. That's very good.

Brandon: Toucan. It's a Toucan.

Eric: Toucan and flying around and lands on Emily Slaughter. She's like, "Get... Stop it. Get off."

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Julia, can you roll a D20? I'm just going to add some fun things to see what... what they learn as they go through. Can you roll a D20 and add +3?

Julia: 19. 16 + 3.

Eric: Hell yes. Okay, so while Emily Slaughter is meditating, I think that she might be meditating while staring at the gate itself. And I think at some points, she goes over there, and she, like, touches it, and it, like, she'd zaps her. And then slowly, she tries to touch it more and more. And as she, like, is getting used maybe to, like, the zap that is happening to it, and then she takes out her sword, and she's like, is messing with it. And her sword doesn't glow anymore. It's just like a regular Katana. So, what Emily Slaughter learns from the meditation is that she's inside a no-superpower zone.

Julia: Interesting. Especially since we already canonically established Taxonomy is still changing into different animals. That's interesting.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: So, maybe the powers don't activate once they actually touch the force field versus, like, not being able to function whatsoever within it.

Eric: Mhmm.

[Amanda humms in curiosity]

Julia: Okay. I was trying to figure out, like, who would be the most interesting character to test that theory out as well.

Eric: Sure.

Julia: Like, if it's Taxonomy, does Taxonomy try to walk through as a moose or something like that? And then, like, some weird body horror stuff happens where now he's half a person half a moose?

Brandon: Oh, no.

Eric: Julia. Yeah, yeah, dude.

Julia: Yeah.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Yeah, dawg.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: Like, the moose tries to walk through and then, like, puts the nose in and the nose, like, becomes human on one side. And as more and more of the nose and then the face comes through, it's, like, human-face. And then he's like, "No, no, no, no, no. And that hurts. I don't know. I do not like that. No."

Amanda: So, then when he backs up, is he just a moose with a human's face?

Eric: No, he comes back to the moose.

Amanda: Okay.

Julia: So, it's only when it's contact. There's no residual effect.

Eric: Yes.

Julia: It seems like.

[Amanda humms]

Eric: Correct. Yeah. It is now. Brampton's turn. Let's roll.

Brandon: Is somebody?

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: Five.

Eric: Five. Okay, Brandon. Someone reveals a secret. Who is it and what did they reveal?

[Brandon laughs]

Brandon: Okay. Oh, okay. We can go funny with this. We could go important with this.

Amanda: Do you want to hear what my brain just said to me?

Brandon: Absolutely.

Amanda: In my own little thought chamber.

Brandon: Mhmm.

Amanda: January says, "I'm diabetic."

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Amanda: Amanda, why did he say that to yourself in your head? Where did that come from?

Julia: You have to get him a snack immediately.

Amanda: Where did that come from?

Julia: His blood sugar is plummeting. Plummeting.

Amanda: Amanda, why is that a secret?

Brandon: Oh, my god.

Amanda: And why does January have diabetes?

Julia: We gotta be open about our, like, medical disabilities, okay?

Amanda: I know.

Julia: January shouldn't have to hide that from us.

Amanda: I... That's what I'm saying.

Eric: Ohh, my god.

Brandon: I have some ideas. We could do... my funny one is that Hive is actually afraid of bees.

[Julia gasps]

Eric: Oh, no.

Amanda: That would be sad.

Brandon: We could do Sommelier, got her sommelier license thing from, like, the equivalent of, like, you know, Online Phoenix University or whatever.

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: Um, we could do Byron admitting that he is actually running for, or planning to run for mayor. They're at the party, right?

Eric: Oh, someone found out about that.

[Eric gasps]

Brandon: So, maybe they're just, like, chatting or something. Or Yeah. Or someone sees Byron Zorn's text messages on his phone as he's checking them or something.

Eric: Oh.

Brandon: And these are just ideas.

Eric: No, those are interesting. I like those two, those last two, because someone had seen Byron Zorn are talking to some people who, like, seem, like, real shady types. Like, they were there. People were gonna, like, put together the campaigns, you know, and like Parks and Rec, when Kathryn Hahn shows up. You're like, "Oh, that person wants you to be a mayor. They definitely want that." The Sommelier wants also good. I wonder how someone would have figured that one out, because, like, did the Sommelier just get their actual Sommelier credit from a villain who just, like, wanted to get the more ingratiated into the... the 1%. Like, to do rich person crimes?

[Brandon humms]

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: But I think if anyone Emily would have known about the Sommelier.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: Just because--

Eric: Sure.

Julia: --Emily is the one that hired her and probably did the research and was like, "Actually, your degree does not make sense. Like the ending of the music man."

[Eric laughs]

Amanda: Maybe... maybe she, like, ran the Sommelier's accreditation in hiring her for the party. And then, when she gets, like, caught off guard and somebody, like, brushes, like, her hair or something, or like someone makes a loud noise nearby, she's like, "Sommelier isn’t even accredited."

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Well, we already know that she's pissed off and, like, on edge so yeah.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Eric: Nice. I like.

Brandon: That's hilarious.

Eric: That's very funny. Emily's just so on edge and.. and so.

Julia: Blurting secrets, yeah.

Eric: And blurting secrets. Brandon make a history check +4 for me.

Julia: Also, while Brandon does that, I would love to just explore very quickly how Hive being afraid of bees would make him the Batman of Laketown city.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Brandon: 14 total.

Eric: Okay, 14. Emily Slaughter has figured out that, yeah, she... she got her sommelier license from someone who's, like, not accredited. Especially because it's weird because the Sommelier has talked about the fact that they've spent all this time in, like, Italy and France and, like, did all this stuff. Like, who was she talking to and what was she doing in Italy? Like was she just stealing shit?

Amanda: Was it like Rome, New York?

Eric: Yeah, well, yeah. She was in Rome, New York, which was just like, "What's me? Like, what? 40 minutes outside Laketown City?

Amanda: Yeah. At like a trattoria in Rome. It's like, We have... this is a Little Caesars in Rome.

Julia: Oh, bro, you had to be there though because Ant Min realizes that she has recognized the Sommelier as, like, another con artist.

Eric: Oh.

Amanda: I love that.

Eric: I like that.

Amanda: I love that.

Eric: I like that a lot.

Julia: And so, like, what you were just saying, like, Rome, New York and stuff like that. She's like, "Yes, I ran into her at a... an airport Marriott of Rome, New York getting a wine tasting class for a community college."

Amanda: Yeah, and the Sommelier, like, produces a smoke bomb and then runs away.

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, pulls out, like, both a fan to cover her face and a smoke bomb from her body.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: To, like, run away. I love them so much.

Amanda: The comic panel, like, zooms out two degrees then you see Wyvern just eating popcorn and, like, looking at it from across the room.

Eric (as Wyvern): It's like, "I heard there was free food here."

Brandon: I love that.

Eric: I think that's great.

Brandon: I'm looking at a list of unaccredited institutions, and there's one that's already in Phoenix University in Italy so.

Amanda: There you go.

Eric: Perfect.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: There you go.

Eric: Absolutely. I like the idea that Wyvern, like, back, like, talking to the LT3, like, looks around and looks to the ground and be like, "Sommelier doesn't even have a license."

[Julia snorts]

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Julia: I mean, like, the sommelier test is kind of bullshit when you really think about it. It's like, "Oh, wow, you know a lot about wine. Who the fuck cares? Why do you have to take a test?"

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Take another fuck at patriarchy, you know?

Julia: But like, those people were gonna spend a lot of money on her, "Expertise," when it wasn't even the expertise. It's just your superpowers.

Eric: Also, what is terroir.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: It's the taste of place.

Eric: Oh, that's what Ant Min said. She's so smart.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: No, no, stop it.

Eric: Make an attack, girl.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Brandon: I just like smacking Wyvern.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: 18.

Eric: Yeah, 18. You just smack them.

Amanda: Listen, we hear at Join the Party do not condone corporal punishment for interns. However, play with us in this space.

Eric: This guy's just being a fucking a goober and Val's like, [smacking noises].

Brandon: Just smacking them back into reality

Eric: Yeah, 100%.

[Midroll music]

Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. Very occasionally, when I need an extra special boost and I'm spending some time at home, either late morning or over the weekend or maybe time after work, I'll take my duvet from my bed and sit with it on the couch. And I don't think there is anything more snow-day-sleepover, you know, home sick but not that sick but just enough-sick that you cannot go to school feeling than sitting with your duvet on your couch, I highly recommend. Welcome to the Midroll. The blankets has sweet dreams on it. Thank you to all of our patrons, especially those of you who joined us recently: Ally, Joseph, Kate, Dallas, Asaf, Tyler, Jyle, and Ellie. The show is made possible by you, our patrons, and we honestly could not make this happen without you. If you listener, want to support Join the Party, have your name read here on the show, get access to all kinds of amazing bonus content and join officially we got a certificate in the mail. I mailed to myself, but still I got it, the best place on the internet, our patron only discord. You can do that at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. We also recently introduced Party Planning, which is our new Patreon exclusive podcast. All about how to play tabletop games at home, device for GMs, for players, for getting into gaming, all kinds of stuff. It's a video podcast, you can watch our faces. It's off and running in Episode 5, featuring Eric and I, is now out. That's at patreon.com/jointhepartypod, and if you're like, "Amanda, I'm already a Join the Party patron and I want other ways to support Multitude and maybe another, like, very fun weekly podcast I can listen to." The answer is Head Heart Gut. This is our exclusive friendly debate show for the Multicrew, that's the membership program of people who support Multitude in our mission to be a home for independent podcasters on the internet, and to make great shows that are themselves homes for communities, Head Heart Gut. Listen, every month we take an iconic set of three items from pop culture or the world we live in and pit them against each other. In the first three weeks, each of our contestants presents their choice about the best color, or fruit, or, I don't know, Pixar movie, that will be really fun. Hopefully, that happens soon. That's in our definitive survey of greatness. And then in Week 4 of each month, every contestant participates together in a formal structured debate. We have friends from the Multitude host family, we have special guests that come in as participants or judges. We introduce you to new people, you may or may not be seeing more of our Multitude in the future. We've decided the best movies equal the best thing and do to theme park, the best utensil, so much more. And there are more than two years worth of weekly episodes for you to enjoy. Join for as little as five bucks a month at multicrew.club to get access to Head Heart Gut. 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I love knowing that if I have a particularly busy week ahead I can stock up on the grab and go items and bring some salads to work or some soups on hand after coming home late that I can heat up real quick. So, go to hellofresh.com/jointheparty14 and use code Join the Party 14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping. Go to hellofresh.com/jointheparty14 and use code Join the Party 14, for up to 14 free meals, plus free shipping. And finally, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp online therapy. When there are things that you can't tell anyone or feel like you can't unload to family and friends, people in your daily life, and you need to get it off your chest and talk to someone about it, that is what therapy can be. Therapy is a huge part of my life, it's something I'm really grateful for. And I do it via BetterHelp because it lets me do my therapy from the comfort of my own home. And I was able to really match with a counselor that I feel gets me and who has specialties in the stuff that I am looking for. BetterHelp offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to and don't have to drag yourself into a waiting room which is awesome. It is more affordable than in person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. You deserve to unload the stressors and get some unbiased feedback from someone that's on your side. And you might be pretty surprised at what you might gain from it. So, see if it's for you. Go to betterhelp.com/jointheparty to get 10% off your first month of therapy. That is betterhelp.com/jointheparty where Join the Party listeners will get 10% off your first month. And now let's get back to the show.

[Midroll music]

Eric: Amanda, roll that D12.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: I got a 12.

Eric: Ooh, 12. Okay.

Amanda: My bi dice.

Eric: Interesting. Here we go. Here is where the fun starts, alright?

Amanda: Uh-oh.

Eric: Number 12. Someone in here is someone you didn't see at the party. Who are they? Are they powered or not? Now Amanda, this is where I have entertained the idea of creating things here. This can be someone, a totally new person. This is gonna be an NPC. I'm putting this in your hands or it can be someone who you thought was going to be at the party and wasn't, but you have total permission here to create a new person of whoever strip you choose.

Brandon: The original Aggie is there.

[Julia laughs]

Amanda: I think when... when Emily is brushed by the Toucan feathers and get startled and screams, we hear a door open from further down in the room that this chamber is in.

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: And we see someone from the People's River check in. And I would say that his clothing is not really in line with the other members. There are, like, beat up boots, very kind of Carhartt style jeans and a button down shirt, like a heavy, like, winter weight flannel shirt with the lab coat over the top. But it's like a very new lab coat. Like, this person is either new to the People's River or doesn't wear it very often.

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: And there is a North Country secondary lacrosse cap on his head.

Eric: Mmh.

Amanda: And it's Brian Roper.

Eric: Oh shit.

Amanda: Brian Roper is a, like, newly hired guard enforcer for the People's River.

Brandon: Whoa.

Julia: That's bad.

Eric: Oh, man. So, he's just, like, working for them now?

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: It's like moonlighting.

Eric: Yeah, he's, like, moonlighting as security for the People's River?

Amanda: You know, he was a cop in a previous timeline. So, he's a corrupt, you know, government employee in this one.

Eric: Hot damn. So, like, he comes over and, like, checks out all of them?

Amanda: Yeah, yeah. He pokes his head and like, "Is everything alright in there?" And everyone's like, you know, response, they will respond. There's like, "No medical emergencies. Alright, whatever." And, like, goes back to watch baseball.

[Brandon and Eric wheezes]

Eric: I love that.

Julia: So, he's just a classic security guard is what you're going for here.

Amanda: He's... yeah. Inattentive, this is his second job. You know, wants to put lifts on his pickup truck.

[Brandon snickers]

Julia: Fair enough. I think it builds him really good lifts.

Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon: I know you said lifts in my brain but my ears heard lips.

[Amanda laughs]

Brandon: And so, I was thinking of a truck with lips.

Julia: Yeah, just like those fuzzy ones.

[Brandon cackles]

Eric: I already watched one of those trucks that have, like, the eyelashes too.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: With lips on it.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: I love that. I love the idea because I was trying to... when you were saying this, it was like, "Oh, man, trying to get in with the City Council." Like, trying to get someone high in the top. Like, Brian Roper is a fucking dude, and he's, he must just be a security guard.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: I also like the idea that, like, maybe he has... Like, does he have something on him that makes him trackable by the People's River? Because like I... there has to be some amount of tech here. And like, they wouldn't build him lifts for his truck. They wouldn't give him a super truck.

Amanda: No.

Eric: Because he's not, like, good enough.

Amanda: You know what I think it is?

Eric: He's not, like, devoted to making Mother Earth better through technology and preserving what we're doing in this new age.

Amanda: I think that they've made him, like, a sonic screwdriver. They've made him--

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: --a, like, handyman tool that repairs things because he never bothered to really learn. He just kind of has this, like, failsafe: I grew up here. Someone gave me a pretty nice job and I get a housing allowance job.

Eric: Hell yes.

Brandon: Oh, my god. And he's played by a different actor after the time shark?

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: He is Dr. Who!

[Amanda and Julia laughs]

Eric: I like the idea that also, like, probably records everything he does, yeah?

Amanda: Yeah, probably.

Eric: Like, he just, uh, he wouldn't know.

Amanda: No.

Eric: But like, definitely they know where he is and who he's talking to at all times if he's holding it or, like, it has, like, a pretty decent microphone that, like, pick things up within, like, 20--

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: --30 feet, right?

Amanda: Yeah. I think it's, like, a... a Swiss Army Knife pen style thing that also has a recorder.

Brandon: And picks up what he's eating because if he's not going vegan, then he's just not dedicated.

Amanda: That's true.

Julia: That's true.

Eric: Honestly, like, probably, right?

[Amanda laughs]

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: I was gonna be like, "Brandon, that's too weird," but like, "No, probably, right?" I fucking love that. That's great.

Julia: They're like, did you lay a quarterly review? They're like, "So, you went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries five times this quarter."

Amanda: Uh-huh. Be honest with us, Brian, how many times?

Julia (as Brian Roper): None.

Amanda: Brian, how many times?

Julia (as Brian Roper): One.

Amanda: Brian? Brian, a little higher, huh?

Eric (in a high-pitched voice): Brian, I know that you've talked about ways for you to be more of a part of the river, but if you don't stick to our diet, then I don't know if there's an opportunity for growth here.

Brandon: You also put a grilled cheese on your burger, which I didn't know you could do.

Julia: The buns were grilled cheese.

Amanda: Is there a way to make that vegan?

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: There's, like, a little bit of, like, vegan powers from Scott Pilgrim in this too.

Julia: Oh yeah.

Eric: Oh, that's beautiful.

Julia: I would be very curious to see if his just total lack of responsibility and ineptitude ends up being the reason that everyone escapes.

[Brandon laughs]

Brandon: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: Write that down. Write that down.

Amanda: I like that.

Eric: Alright.

[Dice rolls]

Eric: Well, actually let's build right on this. I rolled a nine. What do the People's River say is the reason everyone is here? Does anyone believe it? I think Brian Roper turns around and, like, just openly talks to me, like.

Eric (as Brian Roper): So why are we doing this again? Just, like, so we're all on the same page, I didn't get, like, why are all these folks here?

Brandon: Collateral?

Julia: He didn't get the memo

Brandon: Hostage?

Eric: I think collateral, Brandon, that's really good. I think they just... someone's like, (in a high-pitched voice) "Brian you need to check your email more but they're collateral unless."

Brandon: For mother earth?

Eric (in a high-pitched voice): Well, for the larger plan that's all happening here, remember from all the stakeholders that we have. No, I didn't... I'm gonna... I don't get good service here because we're underwater. So, if you could just... here just get... I'm not gonna give, you can just use my phone but you don't get the... you don't get Wi-Fi privilege.

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): Bro, you had to be there because the moment someone said the word, "Stakeholder," in her presence, Emily Slaughter fucking erupted. And she was like, "Are you fucking kidding me? Stakeholders? If there is actually a mission, actually stakeholders, actually deliverables, actually a way to, like, measure success any kind of, like, ROI switch to success, like, like, KPIs and we're actually fucking measuring for this fucking projects you brought me on as a consultant to any point in this entire thing have helped you not fuck up? Not fuck up. Not... not tied to a higher outside freelancer heroes to... to abduct Laketown City's most famous hero group, but you didn't even get all of us by the way, only... only three of the four. And, you know, I heard are two to the four. Look around. I knew it wasn't here. God."

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): How? What? What are you even trying to do? Well, how is this an effective strategy? How?

Eric (in a high-pitched voice): First of all, I think that all of us would have a much more productive conversation if we took it down, like, four notches.

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): You know that's feminism 1.0, bitch.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Brandon: Second of all, we actually prefer to call them tofu holders, as opposed to stakeholders.

Julia: Terrible. Awful.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Terrible. I think also, Taxonomy, like, walks over as a person. And this is like.

Eric (as Taxonomy): Emily, they're not Ron. I know you want to optimize everything, but we're, we're one of the good, really good people here.

Amanda: Emily lays her hands on Taxonomy's shoulders, and she's like.

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): Who is good and who is bad, Taxonomy? If I'm not in charge, it's all bad, okay? That's what I've come to accept about myself. I didn't want to, like, own that. But part of my feminism, my growth, my journey, is owning what I'm all about. Then she looks at Ant Min and points to Ant Min for, like, validation.

Julia: Like, you know what was talking about.

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): You know what I'm talking about. I want to become an older woman who can own her fashion, own her look, own herself, own her stories, dominate the room regardless of who does or does not want to listen to her stories in any given time. And I don't do that by getting, who's on my Insta right now? Who's monitoring our social? Who's social listening right now? Who's listening to our social?

Eric: Tough Stuff probably is looking... looking at our Insta.

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): She's still on probation. She doesn't even have the log-ins.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Outside of the story, Val just turns to the group to be like.

Julia (as Val): They haven't hired someone to do their social media? Like, don't they have more money than us? What... what's going on here?

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): I'm just saying, I thought this gala was a really good opportunity to pivot, to take someone else's opportunity and take it as my own, our... our own, our own, our own, our own.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Jesus.

Amanda (as Emily Slaughter): I am sitting in Lake fucking Champlain waiting to be rescued. That is not what girl bosses do.

Julia: I'm genuinely a little scared.

Amanda: So yeah, man, you had to be there. It was... it was fucking... it was... it was, wow, bro.

[Eric laughs]

Eric: Yeah, no notes. No notes, Amanda. No, notes. No, it's great. Everyone definitely gives Emily Slaughter a wide breadth of room the entire time while Ant Min, like, coolly just takes note of that and thinks... and thinks about it for a second. Hell fucking yes.

Amanda: Okay, note to self: Check in on potential upcountry keeper mob connections about two weeks from now.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Eric: Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Ghoulia, why don't you go ahead, roll that D12

Julia: It's my turn again? Aight.

Eric: Yep.

[Dice rolls]

Julia: Pwa, an 8.

Eric: 8. Oh, Julia, perfect. The Sommelier has been hired for two hours.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: What did she do during that time? What... how does she designate when that time runs out? Val had asked her for help, and she's like, "I don't want to get involved. This is too much. I'm, like, kind of a freelance vigilante, I'll do whatever." And then Val hired her for two hours, because she rolled  Nat 1 and sent you an old rate card. That was, like, $100 an hour. So, you have two hours of the Sommelier's time to, like, help, whatever that means. And what does she do during those two hours?

Julia: Oh. I feel like the Sommelier might have been, like, reluctantly slowly making her way down to the Vitamin M factory, but in that time, was either intercepted or ran into Tough Stuff.

Eric: Mhmm. Mmh.

Julia: And they just bonded immediately.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Amanda: Oh, no.

Julia: They're just, like, in each other's energy. They are vibing real hard. And so, I figured Tough Stuff was probably also on the way to, like, had some way of tracking down Emily and Taxonomy.

Eric: Yes.

Julia: And so was heading towards the Lake Champlain where the People's River lab was, and so was like, "Okay, you're wonderful. Come with me. We'll deal with it. We'll deal with that. That seems like it falls under the qualifications of the very vague mission that Vulcani gave me. So, I'm going to go and we're going to rescue the small rabbit and others."

Eric: I love that.

Brandon: And then they kiss.

Julia: I mean, maybe.

Eric: I mean, maybe in the... you mean in the spin-off comic, Tough Stuff and Wine Girl?

[Amanda snickers]

Brandon: Yeah.

Julia: I like that, that if she ever becomes a hero, that's her hero name. Wine girl.

Eric: She goes, Wine Girl. She's a millennial real superhero. Yeah, no, that's very funny. Or the goblet that's maybe... I'll working on this. I'll keep working on this.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah. Explore on this one.

Eric: I'm gonna put that one in my pocket.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: But no, 100%. I think the Sommelier helps Tough Stuff and the Sommelier is rerouted towards Lake Champlain, because what the Tough Stuff realized is that the water base is right in between Vermont and New York. So, there's no jurisdiction there. It's... That's why no one... no one is trying to going actually to help and take down the underwater base.

Julia: I love it.

Amanda: You're like, ugh, interstate bureau. Like, what a pain.

Eric: Neither of the state governments want to do anything about it. They don't want to step on each other's toes. It's... it's a whole thing. How does the Sommelier let someone know that they're done working?

Julia: I mean, it's got to be an automatically sent invoice.

Amanda: Yeah, for sure.

Julia: That's got to be it. Like, there's a timed invoice. She schedules it and then it sends and she gets the notification that it sent. And so, she just stops doing whatever she's doing.

Amanda: Yeah. Probably has, like, an app and so when she, like, hits accept on the job, then it'll just, like, clock her in when she starts going. Yeah, and send an invoice two hours later.

Eric: That's funny.

Amanda: And probably she gets notification telling her to stop working.

Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm.

Amanda: Girlboss

Eric: That's very funny. Julia, keep that in your pocket. We'll... we'll come back to that. Brandon, it is now your roll.

[Dice rolls]

Brandon: 8.

Eric: Okay, we did 8. Alright, let's go down. We're gonna... we did 8, we did 9, when you're going down to 10. Brandon, the villains seem like they're kicking ass here, and they have a handle on this whole kidnapping all these good people situation. What have they done to demonstrate that they're doing a good job and who is considering switching to the bad guys?

Amanda: Ooh.

Brandon: Hmm.

Julia: Pick Jeff. It's Big Jeff.

Eric: Bro, you had to be there!

Julia: I forgot that you get one of these too.

Eric: I had to gather one of these. I got one. Bro, you had to be there at one point, like, 10 of the same person showed up. And like, I do not know how they got there. It was wild. And then, they all said that they killed Vulcani.

Julia: Well, that's not fucking true.

[Brandon snickers]

Eric: They murdered you. They said that they pushed you off of the top of the building that we were at. And they were all talking about, like, "Oh, yeah. It was so wonderful. Feeling them splat on the ground. I can listen to that forever as my ringtone. Hello, I'm Triplicates."

Julia (as Val): They were the one that jumped off the building. I never fell off any building.

Amanda (as Multitool): I fell off lots of buildings. Vulcani never has.

Eric (as Triplicates): Well, I didn't think you were dead. I didn't think you were dead, but they said so. And then everyone thought you were dead.

Julia (as Val): And how did everyone react in that room, by the way?

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Multitool): Yeah, yeah. Who's excited? Who's excited that they were dead?

Julia (as Val): Specifically the old grandma. How did she feel about that?

Eric (as Triplicates): Oh, she didn't. She didn't really say anything. I don't know. Let's see, is that your mom?

Julia (as Val): She didn't say anything?

Eric (as Triplicates): Your mom should have said something.

Julia (as Val): She's not my mom.

Amanda: Well, who was swayed?

Eric: Brandon, who was swayed by Vulcani's possible death?

Brandon: I feel like there are couples only, like, two options here. So, let me know what y'all think. But like, Ant Min is, like, an option because Ant Min could be swayed too. Like, a manipulative situation and like, "Join their side," in order to, like, further whatever cause she may have.

Eric: Mhmm.

Brandon: And then yeah, Taxonomy could be like, "Fuck yeah, let's save the Earth. They are clearly more capable than Emily Slaughter is," or something like that.

Julia: You know, who else could also be swayed by the, let's-save-the-Earth argument?

Amanda: Hive. The bees.

Julia: The bees, we got to save the bees.

Brandon:  Gotta save the bees. Oh, yeah, that's good. I like that.

Amanda: I think Taxonomy is really interesting.

Eric: He also... he does work at a tech company as just canonically, he's just like a coder. And he just, like, does this in his free time as well. I will also say not to dispel any of the other things, but I think these are all good ideas. You could also create a new person, if you would like to. There is another person in here we haven't addressed and you were like, "Oh, this other person who was at the party who also got kidnapped? They also might have been swayed over." So, you can create a new villain if you'd like to.

Brandon: I don't know why I like this, but I don't know if it makes sense for this particular situation, but I really like the idea of a somewhat, like, an invisible man. And he's just been in this case the whole time.

Eric: Oh, fuck, yeah, dude.

Amanda: I love that.

Eric: I love that.

Amanda: Do it.

Brandon: And he just like, like, steps forth from the wall. He's like, hello.

Eric: I like that there's just a person. You see, like, there's some movement and then just, like, gets to the...

Amanda: Oh, does the water? Do they displace the water and--

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: Ooh, yeah.

Amanda: --you'll get see his outline?

Eric: Yeah, if there's water... there might be, like, water on the ground because it is an underwater base. And like you see the splashes in the water. And then you see, like, just a hand pressed up against the vibrating purple thing.

Amanda: Ooh.

Eric: And some of indeterminate, like, anything. It's just like, "Yeah, I like what you got. I like what you guys are doing. Can you let me out?"

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: And they're like, "Oh, okay." And then you just, like, open it for a second. And now, like, there's an invisible person on the... on the bad guy's side now. I fucking love that.

[Brandon and Julia laughs]

Amanda: And was like, "That's all it takes?"

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: There was someone in here the whole time? I do not like that.

[Brandon snickers]

Amanda: That's very good, Brandon.

Eric: Amanda, it is now your turn.

Amanda: Okay.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: I got a 9.

Eric: A 9. 11. We're gonna go to 11 here, with 9 and 10 we've done so far. 11, it doesn't seem as bad as you think. What is a moment that gives everyone hope?

Amanda: Ooh.

Brandon: Bro, you had to be there. Okay?

[Amanda and Eric exclaims]

Eric: Uh-oh. Oh, fuck.

Brandon: We were just chillin. Trying to find a way to escape out of this room. And then we hear this huge boom and a crack. And the water starts, like, leaking into the cell, right? And I don't... I can't tell you for certain what happened, but I'm pretty sure it was Monty just trying to get us out.

Julia: Whoa.

Brandon: Probably just a small little crayfish got into a wheel somewhere.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brandon: And like, cause something to break.

Eric: You know... you know the guy we learned about in middle school, Monty? Just oh, he just showed up. It was trying to break us out.

Brandon: Cool.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Julia: Did you actually see Monty or was it, like, a situation where something big happened underwater and you just assumed, 'Oh, it must be the mythological sea creature that lives in our lake.'?"

Eric: Yeah.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: And that's what happened.

Julia: Smack.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Amanda: The LT3 make eye contact, "We... we know what happened in that boathouse." I think that Monty gives everybody hope and everyone who grew up in Laketown City, like, even a little corner of Emily's heart, certainly a corner of Min's heart because she definitely has a, like, there-be-dragons, you know, map somewhere in her collection.

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: Storage unit somewhere. All of them are, like, "Oh, shit. Who's coming to rescue us?" And I think they're actually really fun. I wonder who everyone assumes is coming to rescue them. I think Wyvern, 100%, thinks that it is Monty. I think Hive expects the LT3. I think January probably pictures Dez in, like, a submarine.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Amanda: Aunt Min, I don't know, does she think it's, like, Dom in a scuba suit coming to, like, rescue her and we can know their romance.

Eric: Oh, yeah,

Amanda: Oh, yeah. The more Julia hates it..

Eric: Dom... Dom in a... Dom five and a fucking Diving Bell.

Amanda: Uh-huh.

[Brandon laughs]

[Julia groans]

Amanda: I love that a lot.

Julia: Gross.

Amanda: And I think Emily maybe is like, "I'll be so pissed if this is Laketown 3 coming to... the LT3 coming to get me." I think Taxonomy thinks that it's Sour Anthony.

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Amanda: And like assumes that he went off course and, like, veered into the... the bunker.

Eric: Hell yes.

Amanda: But that moment definitely gives everybody hope.

Eric: I love that.

Brandon: I don't know, this is totally completely unrelated to anything, but I don't know why we had never have had Carmen make a, like, an anti-promotional meme--

[Julia gasps]

Brandon: --where it's flyboy but it's just a fly with... with his face on it.

Amanda: I love that.

Julia: Well, because if they linked it back to us then it would be bad press for us.

Brandon: That's true. That's true.

Amanda: I love that though.

Eric: I think Carmen has made a lot of them and at various times both Aggie and Val has turned it down.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: I think we just share them in the group chat.

Amanda: In the... in the group chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julia: You don't actually, like, post them.

Eric: Yeah, that's fair.

Amanda: It's definitely a shitposting group chat. Yeah.

[Brandon snickers]

Eric: There's a flyboy paper meme too.

[Brandon laughs]

Brandon: Just stuck to it.

[Garbled talking]

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: He's there. He's a fly or it's him stuck to fucking paper.

Amanda: Very good.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: Hell yes. I love that. Alright, it is now the final round of: Bro, you had to be there. Brandon, as the brains please roll 1 D4.

Brandon: 1 D4?.

Eric: Yes.

Julia: Uh-oh.

Brandon: 3.

Eric: 3. Oh, we're back to Brandon. As you are... as you are the three, Brandon, it is your responsibility to take us home here. I think we all will contribute to this final question. Who saves the day? How does it happen? Who comes out the hero?

Brandon: Bro, Monty busted through this fucking game.

[Eric laughs]

Eric: You can't do two. You can't do two. You'll get one Monty.

Amanda: No, he's just in the bro.

Eric: Monty is still there. He's still there.

Brandon: Look, it's one of those things where it's, like, a point of view. Like, we cut from one person's point of view and it's fucking Monty, and then we go to reality.

Eric: Wyvern is still going off on how Monty saved everyone, but in reality, it's something totally different.

Brandon: Hmm, that's a good question. Who actually saved the day?

Julia: I paid Sommelier a--

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: --lot of money.

Amanda: Sommelier and Tough Stuff.

Julia: By that I mean $200.

[Julia gasps]

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: Does the Sommelier distract all of the People's River with some bullshit talk about natural wine.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: As Tough--

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: --Stuff just walks in and unlatches the cage from the front.

Brandon: Yes, and the Sommelier is a traveling wine--

Amanda: Yes.

Brandon: --salesperson, who is--

Amanda: Yep

Brandon: --selling natural wines, biodynamic--

Amanda: Yes.

Brandon: --wines.

Amanda: Uh-huh.

Julia: No sulfates.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No sulfates.

Brandon: No sulfates and then.

Amanda: Recycled glass, yeah.

Brandon: Tough Stuff maybe, like, goes around back or something.

Amanda: Yeah, and it's just comically easy. Like, it's just unlatching the cage.

Julia: Has, like, punches Brian Roper in the back of the head. He never sees it coming.

Amanda: Fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: Okay, here... I put this all together. Alright, here's... so we have, Wyvern's like.

Eric (as Wyvern): Whoa, it's Monty.

Eric: As, like, the hole gets a little bit bigger of water as it's gushing into this cage. And I think at the same time, you see, like, the Sommelier and Tough Stuff on the other side and the Sommelier is like.

Eric (as Sommelier): I don't... how are we gonna get down there?

Eric: And tough stuff says.

Eric (as Tough Stuff): How else? We're gonna go the tough way.

[Amanda groans]

Eric: And then the Sommelier, like, puts on, like, a scuba suit that she pulls out from her own body as, like, and she wraps her hair... her arms around Tough Stuff as they just jump in the water and this goes, [diving noises] And just burst through, like, the side of this underwater base. She and then, like, the Sommelier takes off her scuba suit like she's fucking James Bond and still wearing her little black dress underneath. Like, I have plenty of natural wines I can give you.

Julia: She starts pulling them out of her own body.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: And then... and Tough Stuff does, like, the Black Widow in the first Avengers thing. Just, like, fucking punching through people's body.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Right.

Eric: And like just body slamming people as she... as she, like, hits Brian Roper in the back of the head and then just punches right through the control panel that... that has everything.

Brandon: And then Taxonomy definitely becomes a giant Stingray.

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: Swims people to the surface.

Julia: Mhmm.

Eric: 100%.

Brandon: Okay.

Amanda: Cute.

Eric: Everyone is able to just escape. I think in the various ways as people are flying away, then you see, like, the underwater base is, like, flicking. It's fucking sinking, but of course, it's the bottom of a great lake so it's not like the ocean. It's not as good.

Julia: You can still see it from the surface kinda.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Like, later on some 10-year-olds will swim down and be like, "Hey, what's that?" So, Brandon, I think the big question though is who comes out the hero here?

Brandon: Like, I... I don't want to give it to Tough Stuff but, like, they both have equal thanks to be given for this rescue.

Amanda: Is there a new, like, power duo? Is that the hero?

Brandon: Yea. Maybe Tough Stuff quits the upcountry keepers.

Julia: Yeah, I feel like... I feel like the upcountry keepers did not leave a good impression on Shannon Red Wine and Tough Stuff.

Amanda: Oh, my god. Her name is Red Wine. It was meant to be.

Julia: Oh.

[Eric humms]

Amanda: Oh, shit.

Julia: Oh no.

Eric: I think also because Emily Slaughter busted up and said that... that Tough Stuff was still on probation.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: And like never definitely got to action, definitely.

Amanda: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They definitely had, like, comms on or something.

Eric: Yeah or, like, Tough Stuff has a track. They all have tracking devices in each other literally for this. And like, as they got close enough you can hear, like, Emily Slaughter, like, fucking raged. Like... like, that one video of Christian Bale on-set.

Amanda: Yep.

Eric: It's like that.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: And Tough Stuff definitely heard all that.

Amanda: This is a great outcome for the LT3.

Brandon: And you know what? Tough Stuff doesn't care that Sommelier's license is... isn't accredited.

Amanda: No.

Brandon: Tough Stuff... Tough Stuff loves unconditionally. Tough Stuff tough love, soft love.

Eric: Wow.

Brandon: Something there.

Eric: Nice.

[Eric laughs]

Eric: I love that.

Julia: This is unfortunately my favorite couple now on the show.

Amanda: I know. I know.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: I'm very into it.

Eric: I love them falling in love and then she Snorlax body slams into the water.

Brandon: My favorite couple is Monty and Wyvern.

Amanda: Uh-oh.

Eric: Wyvern talking more about Monty.

Amanda: Wyvern definitely goes down to the lake at, like, two in the morning every day now and just talks to Monty.

Brandon: Oh, that's sweet.

Julia: Aw, that's really cute.

Eric: That is absolutely adorable. Wonderful. Alright. Well, we have played our game of: Bro, you had to be there.

Amanda: Hurray.

Eric: I think as we... we can walk back into the other room and you guys can get back into your characters.

[Brandon imitates zipping noise]

Julia (as Val): Plormp. So, okay. So, the Sommelier and Tough Stuff, they... they rescued you guys?

Eric (as Wyvern): Yeah. I mean, like, Monty was definitely really involved in all of it, I would say but no one else remembers it like that, but I just got to live my own truth and everything. I think we should try to find... Do you know he was real? No one told me that. There are so many secrets about this city that I don't know anything about.

Julia (as Val): Yes. And then Val turns to Aggie. Should I have tipped her more?

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: There's, like, a panel where she... everyone is swimming up to the surface. And she also has, like, she has her scuba suit back on. And then, she, like, her phone lights up. And then she, like, gives a salute to everyone jauntily and swims away in a different direction.

Julia: Cool.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Because it was the two of them, they were able to recover because they were able to do it in less than two hours. It was actually very efficient.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda (as Aggie): I mean, yeah. It sounds like she was really clutch, but also that the People's River was really easily distracted by natural wine. What is that?

Julia (as Val): I mean, like, I think it's because they're, like, really into... you know the, even when it says no added sulfates, there are  still sulfates. Like, sulfates still get added to wine through the process of creating wine and fermentation, right?

Amanda (as Aggie): I mean, not slowly,

Brandon (as Milo): But orange wine. Have you tried orange wine?

Julia (as Val): Milo, I feel like if I feed you orange wine right now you might die, again.

Eric (as Wyvern): Is that, like, something  you can get at a grocery store for, like, 2.50?

Julia (as Val): How old are you?

Eric (as Wyvern): Old enough to party.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Alright.

Julia: Smack.

Eric: Wap.

Amanda (as Aggie): Well, listen, as long as January is safe, I guess we have a lot to figure out in terms of who we work for and where that pleasure comes from and where all of it runs out.

Julia (as Val): You're absolutely right, Aggie. But Dr. Morrow is rich on her own without, like, government funds, right?

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, yeah.

Julia (as Val): She could just keep paying up.

Amanda (as Aggie): No, that's... that's true. It's... it's more of like, you know, it's like when... when you know, when you’re... you're fighting one of your siblings and then. And then, like, someone else makes fun of your sibling then you could defend the sibling and then at the end of the day, you're just mad at two people now instead of one. Like, that's... that's just what's like right now. And I'm just working through it. I'm just working through it.

Julia (as Val): Milo and I are both only-children so.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, no.

[Julia and Brandon laugh]

Amanda (as Aggie): That occurred to me as I was saying it. Yeah.

Brandon (as Milo): I think we could use a more in-depth contract that spells out a lot of this detail.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.

Julia (as Val): Yeah, a contract would be very useful wouldn't it?

Amanda (as Aggie): It would, but January's safe. I mean, Fritz, Fritz, you came in clutch, man. Thank you again.

Brandon (as Milo): Oh, Fritz, do you want to be on our team?

Eric: Fritz raises the mug to the three of you and says.

Eric (as Fritz): No.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Val): You know what, fair enough. You have a lot to focus on. You have to go to the Stanley Cup this year.

Eric (as Fritz): Working on it

Brandon (as Milo): Can we have behind-the-ice tickets or whatever?

Amanda (as Aggie): Milo, not the time.

Eric: Behind the ice?

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Behind the ice. Yeah, they're underneath and you can see the shadows of the guys going by.

Eric: Yeah, when they... they clipped through the ice, that's where you get the message in.

Brandon (as Milo): Look, I just died. Leave me alone.

Julia (as Val): You can't keep using that as an excuse.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, you got like six hours left on that, bud.

Eric: Isn't that like your thing?

Brandon: Yeah, that's true. A good point. True.

Eric (as Wyvern): Wyvern holds up one of his arms. It still has, like, sticky honey residue. And he's like, "Oh, we can sign each other's bee casts."

Brandon (as Milo): Don't touch me Wyvern.

Eric (as Hive): And then Hive is like, "Hey, don't touch it. The bees worked really hard on these." Hey, all of you may constitution checks for you. You, Brandon, you have disadvantage because you're in a bee cast.

Amanda: I got the natural one.

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Julia: Oh, boy. I got a 24.

Amanda: Uh-oh.

Brandon: I rolled a 1 and a 2.

Eric: You guys both got Nat 1s?

Brandon: We've both got Nat 1s.

Amanda:  We've both got Nat 1s.

Julia: What is happening to this team?

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Eric: With both of you have Nat 1s, you look down in a moment and you realize that the... that at some point Mega muncher ate your phones.

Amanda: Oh no.

Eric: You must have dropped your phones because you don't have good pockets in your costumes but you dropped your phones and they are not there.

Julia: That cannot be canonical that Multitool has bad pockets in her costume.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: I will accept that I dropped the phone.

Julia: I'm sorry, it just.

Eric: Listen... listen a Nat 1, unfortunately one of the many pockets but.

Amanda: Must have ripped, yeah.

Eric: No, you're putting something in and then taking it out, and you must have had it open.

Amanda: Oh, yeah.

Eric: The pocket was open. It was a great pocket but it was open.

Julia: I will accept that.

Eric: So, Mega muncher destroyed your phone and Milo you left your phone in the dead zone.

Amanda: Oh, no.

Brandon: Yeah, Milo doesn't need a natural one to lose his phone so.

Julia: Anubis has your.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: Anubis has your phone and is texting everybody.

Amanda: And I think your phone number. Yeah.

Eric: Anubis has texted Lucas and told him when he was gonna die and he's like, (with voice alteration) "Bro, what?"

[Amanda laughs]

Julia: You can't do that to a person.

Eric: So, you're gonna have to tell Lucas about that later.

Amanda: Oh my god.

Brandon: It's just like a link to a countdown clock.

Julia: Lucas, just don't go there on that day and that time.

Eric: It's inevitable.

Julia: You'll be fine.

Eric (as Anubis): Anubis says, "You can't stop it. Death is coming for all of us."

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: But I think that with a... with a 22. Val this is... you feel like you are raging because you are. Something on you is vibrating and creating heat. And you look down and you realize your phone is fucking freaking out. It is, like, you have it on vibrate and it is creating friction because you are getting so many notifications. And I think at that point, as Hive is talking about his life story, maybe becoming an apiarist and then realizing that he was good at it. Been being, like, an urban beekeeper and then now that he became a vigilante, and then he saw the invitation at, like, a local bodega then he wanted to come. And then all of this happened but it doesn't say all that because Carmen fucking kicks the door in and says, "Where are your phones?"

Julia (as Val): Val just holds hers up like, "Sup."

Amanda: Incredible.

Eric (as Carmen): Check them!

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Eric: I'm like, stop laughing at Brandon.

[Amanda laughs]

Amanda: Carmen put on pants and shoes to come do that.

Eric: Carmen put on, like, a nice shirt to come scream at you.

Julia (as Val): We were debriefing after, like, a really horrible night. What is up?

Eric: And you can see, like, as you scroll through your notifications, it's tons of you and LT3 getting tagged. Every so often, every 10, Carmen is just like, "Where are you?" with a different emoji. And she is just screaming at you, she's like, "You have 30 seconds before all of the reporters in Laketown City show up. Put on your fucking nice costumes.


[JTP Theme music]

 

Transcribed by:

Edited by: