Dr. Morrow has all your answers! Even to questions you haven’t asked yet! That’s how smart she is! Val, Aggie and Milo take a seat.
Housekeeping
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time, on Join the Party…
Eric: As the party scraps with The Nephews at their hideout, they start to uncover more questions than answers. Aggie breaks into the locked garage under the boathouse where a massive mountain lobster, who may or may not be the mythical Monty, is swimming in an above ground pool. Aggie tries to make peace with the giant crustacean, and Milo sends Tuna forward to talk, which leads to the mountain lobster busting out of the pool, and the garage. Outside, Val tackles an ice cream truck, and wipes out the remaining Nephews as the Knight of Mirrors pulls up and offers their help. The party question the mysterious bike rider who swears they’re all on the same side. Finally, Aggie pulls out her phone to talk to the one person who may have some answers: the mayor, and mad scientist, Dr. Morrow. Get ready to be blinded with science, and after that let’s get the party started!
[Theme music]
[Crickets chirping outside]
Eric: So the three of you are standing on Aggie’s back porch calling Dr. Morrow at home it's like 10:00 p.m. at this point—
Amanda: Like you do.
Eric: You know, just calling the mayor having her on speaker, it's fine.
Amanda: Listen, I didn't think that decision lightly, but here we are!
Eric: That's true.
Brandon (as Milo): Aggie, Aggie, Aggie can I talk— can I talk please?
Amanda (as Aggie): No.
[Brandon and Eric laughing]
Eric: And Dr. Morrow says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): [voice heard over the phone] Aggie O'Hare as I live and breathe, I thought tonight was going to be boring. How can I help you?
Amanda (as Aggie): Well Dr. Morrow, I have some information of a sensitive nature that I think you need to know about pretty urgently. I don't know if you'd rather me tell you over the phone or meet you first thing in the morning, but hey do you know of— you know Monty right?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): The mythical legend of the giant mountain lobster that lives in the Lake Town area? Of course, we all do.
Amanda (as Aggie): Mmhmm, um if I were to—
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Sometimes around Christmas time, he brings little pearls to good children, and eats all the bad children of course—
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): We all know.
Julia (as Val): Didn't we all get pearls when we were little kids?
Brandon (as Milo): Didn't we all get eaten when we were —
Amanda (as Aggie): Val, did you really get a pearl?
Julia (as Val): [slowly] Uh, yeah?
Amanda (as Aggie): Huh.
Julia (as Val): Did-didn’t everyone?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh, who’s that? Do you have a friend? Who is this?
Brandon (as Milo): [Exponentially getting more excited] Hi Dr. Morrow! This is — Hi Dr. Morrow! This is Milo!
Amanda (as Aggie) [under her breath] Ugh, Milo.
Amanda: I put a hand in his face like I would to a five-year-old who’s trying to grab brownies before they're cool.
[Everyone laughing]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Always love to hear a fan!
Amanda (as Aggie): Well Monty, not so much of a legend, and I was wondering if that's a thing that you know, or if this is more new information that maybe you, or someone who works for you, or someone who maybe should be working for you has brought about?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Hmmm. A legendary creature becomes real, and it may or may not be my fault. Now that's fun! Yeah sure come on over! I don't have— I'm just kind of messing around in my study. You three seem— who is— I'm hearing three voices. There's Aggie, and who are the other two?
Brandon (as Milo): [Ecstatically] I’M MILO! It's me! Do you remember me? It’s Milo!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It seems that you have some sort of talking poodle? Is this related to anywhere? Is this also part of the problem?
[Julia laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): Milo works at the museum…
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Hmm, a MMFFC-kinator. Of course, I have dealt with them before. Milo it's nice to— I'm excited to meet you! Yeah. Uh who—
Brandon (as Milo): [His voice gets higher] I’M EXCITED TO MEET YOU TOO!
Amanda: Aggie sort of makes like inquiring eyes at Val, like “do you want to reveal yourself?”
Julia (as Val): I am Val, hello.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Hello.
Amanda (as Aggie): Val walks dogs, and delivers pizza—
Julia (as Val): I don't deliver pizza! I help make pizza!
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh I'm very sorry! Makes pizza… A pizza smith.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Look, a wide resume is a good resume! I'm excited to meet all of you! Yeah why don't—let's see where are you? Where are you three?
Amanda (as Aggie): Just at home in the historic district.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh okay, nearby alright! You know, I'll have the car come around and pick you up, and you’ll all come on over, it'll be nice to meet all of you!
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh we can drive that's no problem.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh, no no no! It’s fine it’s—
Amanda (as Aggie): We really prefer it, if that's okay.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No, okay yep, you can drive, it's fine!
Amanda (as Aggie): At the whole estate back there?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, just come in, yeah don't use any of the secret entrances. Just use the one in the front.
[Beat of silence]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That's right, none of you know me well enough personally to know that I'm joking. Yes, just come on over it's fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes ma'am!
Eric: Okay yeah I guess I just forgot that Aggie has a car.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: This feels like a real Gracie Mansion situation, that people know where the mayor's house is, so yeah the mayor has invited you over if three want to go over.
Amanda: Alright—
Brandon (as Milo): [Chanting] Oh. My. God. We're going. To Doc. Tor Morrow. Oh. My. God. We're going. To Doc. Tor MORROW’S!
Julia (as Val): Uh, is he ok?
Amanda (as Aggie): Are you saying Mars?
Brandon (as Milo): AHHH!!
Julia (as Val): Do we need to get him a paper bag or something? I'm a little concerned he might pass out.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know, I do think it's actually good like I said I have no reason not to trust Dr. Morrow, except that people in power sometimes do you know underhanded things so I think it's good that we have somebody who is very skeptical and intimidating, and—
Brandon and Julia (as Milo and Val): Thank you.
Brandon (as Milo): Wait…
Amanda (as Aggie): And also someone who is very effusive, and I think me in the middle that'll be a pretty good like excited cop, surly cop, middle cop situation.
Julia (as Val): You know the typical excited cop that makes sense, makes sense.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm sorry to call you a cop, Val.
Julia (as Val): It's a bit of an insult, but it's fine we'll move on from it.
Eric: In the back as you see the Knight of Mirrors is putting a tied-up mantis in a sidecar, and getting River Greens on the on the motorcycle and they turn around like
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Not a cop! No one’s a cop here! I don’t know why we’re talking about cops.. Not a cop!
Brandon (as Milo: They're definitely a cop right?
Julia (as Val): I feel like they may be a cop, now after seeing—
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): No I'm not a cop! I explicit— look I’ve never worked with other people before. Look, I don't know how to say “I'm not a cop” without sounding like I'm not a cop. Julia (as Val): I mean like you wouldn't say it's so much like you doth protest too much—
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Okay, I’ll stop saying it. Okay.
Brandon (as Milo): If you weren’t you wouldn’t—
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): [Hesitantly] I love… I love weed.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Okay…
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay! You guys go left out of the driveway we will take a right, nobody needs to know that we were talking tonight, good luck.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Alright, see you later! [Stuttering] Fff-fr-friends?
Julia (as Val): No.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Bye!
Amanda (as Aggie): Goodbye.
Eric: SCREEEEEE! And the Knight of Mirrors takes off on their motorcycle.
Brandon: Was the “scree” the motorcycle or was it the Knight of Mirrors?
Eric: That's for you at home to figure out!
Amanda: Sound really messes with the acoustics, you're not really sure.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So yeah! You all can drive over!
Amanda: Yeah we can pile all three of us into my pickup and head over. There is a toolbox at Milo's feet.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry about that.
Brandon (as Milo): It's cool right I can just put my legs laid on top of it if that's okay?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah cool it's a Craftsman.
Eric: It’s sturdy.
Amanda: Yup! Real American industry, bought it from Sears, lifetime warranty!
Eric: Nice.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah I have used so many toolboxes, I know how to use them so well it's it's fine I know—I know my way around the box of tools.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. Checks out.
Eric: Hey what if Milo is a cop?
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Milo might be a cop.
Eric: Milo might be a cop the whole time. Okay, you three drive over so the mayor's house is pretty close by to historic Lake Town. The story goes she used to live in historic Lake Town but she got a new house when she became the mayor and now she lives like 15 minutes away you're driving down you just hit Highway 1, then you take a hard right. It's kind of like in this area between the industry city and historic Lake Town. Really up in the woods so you start driving and then it goes from pavement to gravel and then gravel to dirt road, but you're there in like 15 minutes flat.
Julia (as Val): Does anyone else feel like we're about to enter a murder mystery?
Brandon (as Milo): I do!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, yeah I kinda do.
Julia (as Val): Cool, I just wanted to make sure that was like the general vibe, and it wasn't just me being like anxious.
Brandon (as Milo): I'll bring the toolbox will that help?
Julia (as Val): I feel like it probably won't.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Julia (as Val): If it's gonna be like a weird dangerous game situation.
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean I have my to go tools just in my jacket so—
[Brandon laughs]
Julai (as Val): Excellent, I have brass knuckles we'll see how this goes!
Eric: So you're driving up the dirt road and eventually you come to a pretty large gate everything, is made out of wrought iron that is crafted into fun spikes at the top. You know they're not uniform it feels very like freeform like someone was crafting it with
Amanda: Like Gaudi-esque?
Eric: Yeah, it's like it was the metal was pottery and they just kind of like “ooo what if I did this flourish at the top” and it says Morrow across the gate and bisected in the middle between the two bars. There's a little intercom on the left.
Julia: A little buzzer.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: I push the buzzer button.
Eric: There's some crackling of static and it goes “boop”
Eric (as voice on the intercom): [Slightly higher pitched voice] Hello Morrow residents.
Amanda (as Aggie) Oh not the voice I expected. Hi we're here to see Mr. Morrow, she invited us up.
Eric (as voice): Okay who is this?
Amanda (as Aggie): Um… Aggie O’Hare and guests.
Eric (as voice): O'Hare that's that's funny, who is this?
Amanda (as Aggie): What?
Brandon (as Milo): I don't get the joke.
Amanda (as Aggie): That's my last name, O’Hare.
Eric (as voice): Oh oh oh your last name is O’Hare!
Amanda (as Aggie): Like the Lake Town O’Hares.
Eric (as voice): I understand now I hear I hear it, so uh who is it? So Aggie O'Hare who else is in the—else is here?
Brandon (as Milo): [Excitedly] HI I’M MILO!
Amanda (as Aggie): What is your last name?
Brandon (as Milo): Lane!
Eric (as voice): Milo Lane, I'm gonna write that down.
Amanda (as Aggie): Val, no last name.
Julia (as Val): That is correct.
Eric (as voice): Val Nola— is that Prussian?
Julia (as Val): Yes.
Eric (as Voice): Where's no last name from?
Julia (as Val): Its Prussian.
Eric (as voice): Is there an accent somewhere that I can write it down?
Julia (as Val): There's an umlaut over the o.
Eric (as voice): Okay, Nolastname, okay alright come on up!
Eric: The door to the gates creak open.
Amanda: Alright, we drive up to the house what does it look like?
Eric: Okay so as you drive up to the Morrow Estate, you see a pretty cozy looking cabin so for those of you know this is like Adirondack style. There's a lot of reclaimed wood and lots of like the actual logs— you know when you have that really cylindrical style that's when a wall is like stacked up of a little—
Amanda: It’s a log cabin!
Eric: It's a very cool log cabin, so you get a lot of the like wood textures on the outside and there's this pointy tin roof and you see that there is a wide porch stretching out behind you can see the back of the house and there's like a wide porch stretching out with those Adirondack chairs, you know like the big oversized wooden ones that like it's perpetually at a 45 degree limit.
Julia: I love it, so comfy.
Amanda: People think it's a Cracker Barrel chair, it's not.
Eric and Julia: It’s not.
Julia: Adirondack lounge.
Eric: When you look at it it does look a little bit smaller than you would think the person who's been running this industrious town into city would live in it looks like it's only like a few rooms large there are some other strange things about this. The porch just kind of just pointed into thick woods like ordinarily it would be pointed like towards a lake, or towards any sort of scenery or outlook but it's really just kind of pointed towards the woods in the back. Also it's mounted on the side of a small slope so it has those like stilts, but they're almost like very sturdy metal legs are holding up the cabin.
Amanda (as Aggie): Guys, I think the porch can walk.
Brandon (as Milo): This house is a robot!
Julia (as Val): This is some Baba Yaga shit.
Amanda (as Aggie): No, I mean did anyone else expect like a mansion or like you know all the camps that are like out on the big lakes? That's what I thought.
Julia (as Val): No I totally— look I expected like brickwork and like maybe some gargoyles or something like that you know? The classic like “we're gonna get murdered in this house cause it's Clue”
Amanda (as Aggie): Or at least like some birch—
Brandon (as Milo): Haven't y'all read the biography of Dr. Morrow? This is like—this is her trademark this is the house!
Eric: What's the title of that memoir Brandon?
Brandon: It is Tomorrow is Always Just a Day Away: The Life and Times of Dr. Morrow,
[Everyone laughing]
Julia: What’s another way of saying that?
Brandon: It is Tomorrow is Just Today, But in the Future: the Life and Times of Dr. Morrow.
Julia: That one, I like that one!
Eric: Thinking About Tomorrow: The Life and Times of Dr. Morrow.
Amanda: I was just gonna say To, and then like that typographic mark this is like a circle in the middle of the line, Morrow.
Julia: That was very good.
Eric: Actually all of those were published, they were done under different ghost writers but they're all canonical autobiographies.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: And they all end with the life and times of Dr. Morrow
Amanda: Is there a Wikipedia article documenting all of the inconsistencies between the versions?
Eric: Oh 100%.
Amanda: Good good good.
Julia (as Val): I read the graphic novel version, the Days of Future Tomorrow.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: Yeah there are YouTube channels just devoted to Dr. Morrow like
Eric (as conspiracy Youtuber): [Nasally voice] Sup y'all is the LTC sleuth! Here with another blast on trying to figure out who the hell is Dr. Morrow! We dove into her early life but let's get into her teen years!
Amanda (as Aggie): Emily we know it's you.
[Julia and Brandon laugh]
Eric (as Emily): What> I've had my voice the whole time!
Amanda (as Aggie): No but seriously I think the porch can like raise or lower or walk, but that's not how you build a cabin like this. They don't use metal at all.
Julia (as Val): I mean she's like a science person right?
Brandon (as Milo): A science person, that’s what they’re called.
Julia (as Val): So I get the sense that she can do weird shit with it— it’s true right? They call them science people?
Brandon (as Milo): Science people, that's it.
Julia (as Val): Right, cool cool cool, so yeah, I think it would make sense that her house could do weird shit.
Amanda (as Aggie): Let's just stick together, and you know expect the unexpected.
Julia (as Val): Again, don't wanna to get murdered in this murder house. Even though it isn't a murder mansion, it could be a murder cabin, and I’m not about to get murdered.
Brandon (as Milo): Val, I think they're confusing scientists with architect is that possible?
Julia (as Val): No, cause my uncle Vinnie he married an architect.
Brandon (as Milo): Gotcha, should we go inside? Or?
Amanda: Yeah I guess a little park kind of right up front, is there like a gravel kind of cul-de-sac or little parking area?
Eric: Yeah there's like one of those circle driveways in the front. Alright so yeah you pull up and you walk onto a jutting front porch that looks really stately, logs everywhere, and a rocking chair. And yeah, you can go up to the door.
Amanda: Alright we ring a doorbell.
[Eric sings Westminster Chimes]
Amanda (as Aggie): It’s a mansion doorbell.
Julia (as Val): It’s fuckin’ obnoxious if you ask me.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: Val is so suspicious, it’s so funny! “Oh you think you're better than me? You gotta you got a nice doorbell?!”
Amanda: Got a multi-tone door bell, you think you’re better than me?
Eric: Wow—
Julia: What you got a doorbell that actually works? Go fuck yourself.
Amanda: Can I make it a perception check on the building using my superpower just to see if there's any architectural details that I can discern?
Eric: Sure! Val I'm gonna have you do this with disadvantage, cause you’re kind of in your head about this.
Julia: At perception?
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Alright well
Eric: Yeah, and uh Brandon do this too.
Amanda: A 10.
Julia: I got a 17 y'all! With a disadvantage, and a 0!
Amanda: Maybe I am too flabbergasted by this weird metal porch leg to understand much about the house.
Brandon: Um, I got an 8.
Eric: Okay—
Julia: What do I know about the house?
Eric: Alright so Aggie, Milo I think that you're both just like pretty stoked to be here. I think both you know Dr. Morrow especially Milo is losing it a little bit, so you're both kind of just like ready to put on a good face and you’re surprised at where you are but I don't think you can discern. I think Val in your Italian reverie, you're looking around intently for things for that Dr. Morrow thinks she's better than you. You're at the front of the house and the back of the house is the one that is pointing it towards the forest right so you're looking around and you're just looking at me like “Oh fucking this scientist mayor she things were better than me, with her small house she's trying to pretend like she doesn't have all this money I can't believe it.” But when you look at the back and you look at the porch, you see that like the house is kind of built in to the hill. It's like when if you really take a look at where the house meets the hill you see that it kinda they just kind of just like come in to each other.
Julia: It's bigger on the inside?
Amanda: It's what it seems like.
Eric: I think Aggie with a 10, you might be more distracted by the cathunk cathunk cathunk that you hear as something comes to the door.
Brandon (as Milo): Aggie do I have crumbs on my shirt? Does my hair look okay?
Amanda (as Aggie): You’re fine, stand up straight.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay!
Eric: Wait, Milo, we can see the Star Trek t-shirt you're wearing under your button-down.
Brandon: Milo unbuttons one more button to make sure it's more prominent.
Eric: You just see like Janeway's face now.
Amanda: Just before the person answers the door I turn to Milo
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh I'm so sorry, you remind me so much of all of my brothers, so just if we can to talk about that later but like sorry.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: Cathunk cathunk cathunk, and the door opens and you three are looking at a rabbit. The rabbit is two feet tall, and is standing on its hind legs and—
Amanda: [Yelling] WHAT?!
Eric: It's wearing a very nicely cut like blue-blue suit, with a little white shirt and a golden tie. The rabbit—
Amanda: I realize that this is D&D but this is too far.
Eric: Whatever, hah, science!
Julia: we just saw a giant crayfish.
Eric: [In a sing-song voice] Two animal surprises!
Julia: Two animal surprises.
Eric: The rabbit is mostly brown but you can see that there are some white hairs speckled through its fur.
Julia: From age can we gather?
Eric: Make a nature check.
Julia: It's a non natural 1.
Eric: Ah ok with a 1, wow she has an old rabbit as a butler wow!!
Julia: I'm actually extremely excited about the rabbit. Val sees it and is like
Julia (as Val): Can I—can I scratch your ears?
[Amanda laughing]
Eric: But Val, all you’re thinking is like “wow can't believe she's using such an old rabbit as a butler”
Julia: [laughing] It’s an old rabbit, got it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Hello, sorry I'm a little surprised I'm Aggie, this is Milo, and Val.
Eric (as rabbit): [with the same high pitched voice from the intercom] Hello!
Brandon (as Milo): Oh my god, a talking rabbit?!
Julia (as Val): I cannot believe this rabbit is talking. What is happening?
Eric (as rabbit): Oh Aggie, you’re also the hare! Aggie! O’Hare!
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh I understand now why you thought my last name is a joke.
Eric (as rabbit): Listen you have to understand that sometimes we have two of us happening at the— but you’re much taller than I am though.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm sorry that I am not a member of your family.
Brandon (as Milo): Hey what the fuck?
Julia (as Val): You are handling this very calmly.
Eric (as rabbit): No, it's fine I think everybody uh you know, everybody who comes over the Morrow house you know, the Dada the good doctor thinks that they could handle the scientific achievements that happen here. So it's just nice to meet all of you, oh you must be friends, and good people, and I'm just gonna let this momentary sudden surprise it’s just uh— I get it, it's happened before.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm so sorry, so sorry.
Eric (as rabbit): You know what? You are taking it better actually—no exactly what Vice President Al Gore did when we met—
[Brandon laughing]
Eric (as rabbit): This is the same for me.
Amanda (as Aggie): See that's much more surprising to me, I guess it makes sense that Vice President Gore and Dr. Morrow would know each other. I'm sorry I'm confused, and distracted, and anyway can we see the doctor? I’m sorry we’ve got sort of a time-sensitive question.
Eric (as rabbit): Oh yeah! No she told me that you were coming over, it's nice to meet you. My name is January!
Julia (as Val): January!
Eric (as January): It's nice to meet all of you I am a snowshoe hare, related to the Atticus you know we're all part of the Adirondack area so it's kind of an end of fun nature fact.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sure!
Eric (as January): Yeah we can come on in.
Eric: January hops away into the cabin.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow didn't didn't think talking animals were a thing.
Eric (as January): Hey, this is another thing I really should have warned you—
Eric: The rabbit’s like 200 feet into the cabin
Eric (as January): Yeah rabbits have really good sense of hearing, so if you're gonna talk about me just like wait until I'm very far away.
Amanda (as Aggie): I am so sorry that we are so rude.
Julia: Awww.
Eric (as January): Let’s all take a second, and you can like be weird for a little bit but then after that you can't be weird. Just a rule we have in the house.
Brandon (as Milo): Aggie, how are you being so calm about this?!
Amanda (as Aggie): Milo we're gonna play a game where you are locked in the holo deck, and you can see what's happening but no one can hear you.
[Eric and Julia laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay?
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, this is all a simulation, got it.
Julia (as Val): Milo, I would also like to point out that you do have a ghost cat.
Brandon (as Milo): Ieah it was a real ass cat though before it died!
Julia (as Val): This is a real ass rabbit it just can talk I guess? Fuck!
Eric (as January): You have a ghost cat? I’ll definitely check that out later that does have fun.
Julia (as Val): It's name was Tuna, I believe. I tried to scritch it but I couldn't touch it.
Eric (as Tuna): Mmm that's my name don't wear it out.
Brandon (as Milo): Get— go away, I did not call you!
Eric (as Tuna): Mmmno, meow, mmm a rabbit... Weird.
Eric: Then Tuna disappears.
Julia (as Val): Did you see the cat?
Eric: They do not see the cat.
Julia (as Val): It said the rabbit was weird and then it left.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sounds like Milo, if only he wasn't in the holodeck, he could tell us.
[Eric laughing]
Eric (as January): Okay, I think you guys are continuing to be weird, so if you need more time before I can lead you up—
Julia (as Val): Oh sorry, sorry, I have to apologize to the rabbit, alright. I guess we should go see the mayor.
Amanda (as Aggie): Why don't you apologize to January.
Eric: Cathunk, cathunk, cathunk,
Eric (as January): It was weird that we were talking from so far away, but I’m here if you wanna apologize, you could do it to my face.
Amanda: [Laughing] I wanna protect this rabbit with my life.
[Eric laughing]
Julia (as Val): January, I am sorry.
Eric (as January): Okay!
Julia (as Val): Would it be rude to ask if I could pet your ears?
Eric (as January): No, I appreciate you asking, you definitely can.
Julia (as Val): Okay, are we good? Are we even?
Eric: Now tell me about this pet, Julia.
Julia: It’s little scritches behind the ears!
Eric: Oh very— that's so good.
Amanda: It's very restrained, dignified.
Eric: It's very good.
Julia (as Val): I respect you as a fellow being.
Eric (as January): Again, I appreciate it a lot, I just like if we could stop being weird we can all just move on!
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as January): Okay cool,
Amanda (as Aggie): Weirdness ends now.
Eric (as January): Let's head on up!
Eric: So you're walking through this cabin, yeah this thing is a little bit bigger on the inside. On the inside it's pretty much the size of like a pretty large house, but each room— you know in the Masque of the Red Death how each room has a different color palette? It's a lot like that but each room has a different color palette, and just like a totally different fashion sense. You look into one room and there's like a real like hunting lodge style den with like a roaring fireplace, and just like leather everywhere, and even just like some weird animal heads on the wall. But then as you're walking through, you also can take a peek into the kitchen, and the kitchen is just like chrome, steel, like black accents everywhere, and everything is just a different color.
Brandon: Real quick, very important are there any rabbit heads in that first room?
Eric: Why don't you make it an investigation check?
Julia: That’d be extremely fucked up.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: 13.
Eric: Okay no there are no rabbit heads, but you see that there's like a walrus head, and a big giraffe head with a long neck. But with a 13 you're not sure if these are real or not because you also see like some scooby-doo character heads on the wall too.
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: I kinda like that.
Brandon: The people, or the dogs, or both?
Eric: No the costumes, Brandon!
Julia: The costumed monsters, come on Brandon!
Eric: Come on.
Brandon: The van?
Eric: Yeah like Miner-Sixtyniner’s head is on there, and like there's a Creature from the Black Lagoon head up there too. So you can't tell if they're real or not.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: As you're walking through then you get to this really tall winging metal spiral staircase that winds downwards.
Eric (as January): So just step on the first step and it's kind of like a ski lift so just let it happen. Brandon (as Milo): Not it!
Julia (as Val): I’ll go first.
Eric (as January): Oh, you are all doing it, this isn't a “not it” situation.
Julia (as Val): I will go first.
Amanda (as Aggie): I will go second.
Brandon (as Milo): I'll go after y’all go.
Eric (as January): I mean, I'll go first to show you how it works.
Eric: So you go over to the metal staircase, there's like a big red button just on the side of one of the railings and like it's like a seat comes out of the floor to catch you, very much like a ski lift. Then January presses the three button, it goes one two three, presses the three button and it starts like winding down the spiral staircase.
Eric (as January): Oh you can go “wee!” if you want. I've just done this a lot so it's just not— it’s very impressive I'm sure to everybody else.
Julia (as Val): Does it go fast enough that we can go “wee?”
Eric (as January): Oh yeah if you want me to turn it up.
Julia (as Val): Fuck yeah, let's do it.
Brandon (as Milo): I'm good! I'm good! I'm good! Just normal speed is fine!
Eric (as January): Okay! Wee!
Julia: [laughing] Incredible.
Eric: Yeah all four of you all it all happens individually you kind of stand there and like it's like the stair before you comes up to like catch your butt and then leads you down the spiral staircase to the third floor which is like so if the top one is one then there's a two which is kind of like it's a hallway and you can kind of see like a little bit of like a pillow. So you're like oh that's where people sleep and then it goes down to the third floor, and it stops and it really just kind of leads out into this big hallway with a big door at the end of the hallway.
Eric (as January): Dr. Morrow’s study is and in the back there just I lead you there, but I guess it is you go still still seem pretty weirded out so I feel like I want to like front-load the information.
Julia (as Val): I feel like you probably also have like better things to do than lead us through a house.
Eric (as January): Oh yeah I was shining a lot of silver before this.
Julia (as Val): Okay—
Eric (as January): These paws they're very good at it, they’re magic paws!
Amanda (as Aggie): Woah.
[Eric makes dinging noises]
Eric: And he wiggles his hands in the air.
Brandon (as Milo): Did you say magic?
Eric (as January): I mean, I did say they were magic paws but I'm not literally magic, if that's what you're asking.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, that is what I’m asking.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah Milo, I didn’t think the same thing, don't be weird. Why would this humanoid rabbit have magic abilities?
Brandon (as Milo): Right, this is a simulation I forget I forget we're in the holodeck.
Julia (as Val): There we go.
Eric (as January): Yeah that’s kind of a weird thing for a guy who shoots ghosts out of his chest Eric: Cathunk cathunk cathunk cathunk, and January hops over to the door and just kind of knocks on it and says
Eric (as January): Yeah Dr. Morrow, the three of them are here.
Eric: From inside of the room there’s a
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): [Muffled] Oh January, send them in, I’ve been waiting for them!
Julia (as Val): Are we at all concerned that the rabbit knows about Milo's weird ghost hand?
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh yeah very.
Julia (as Val): Okay cool, glad we're on the same page.
Brandon (as Milo): He’s just a simulation, it's fine.
Julia (as Val): Okay, I feel like that was bad advice that you gave him now.
Amanda (As Aggie): Yeah nope, gonna walk that back.
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): No more holodeck here, we are gonna meet your hero, don't be that weird okay?
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, okay, alright deep breath [inhales loudly]
[Beat of silence]
Brandon (as Milo): [His voice gets higher pitched] Am I supposed to breathe back out or—
Julia (as Val): Yes, do it! Breathe!
[Brandon exhales]
Eric: And January kind of motions towards the door, and then hops back up the stairs and it kind of winds him back up.
Julia (as Val): I'm glad there's a job market for rabbits, you know.
Amanda (as Aggie): That's a good point.
Julia (as Val): Cool.
[Eric and Brandon laughing]
Eric: Amazing
[Transition note]
Hey, it’s Eric. I’ve been thinking a lot about what skills I’ve gathered since being inside. I’ve learned how to stream, how to cook some new dishes, how to play GameCube games, and how to wrestle some control of my own happiness. And I’m sure you picked up some weird quarantine skills too - baking or pickling or carpentry or something else. Remember, even as the times change, you will still have those skills. So maybe years from now, as you’re baking bread casually in the morning, you’ll realize you’ve grown, even if it seems that nothing has changed. Welcome to the midroll. Gimme a slice please.
Thank you to everyone who has joined our Patreon in the last week: Megan, C Lynn, Jessie, The Lovely Loveless, MarLynn, and Rachel!
We’re so grateful for each and every person who supports us on Patreon. You literally make it possible for this to be our jobs, and we could not do it without you. It’s the highlight of our week to talk about new episodes with you in our Patron-only discord, and I love coming up with a new NPC backstory for every episode. To get access to all of these benefits and to help ensure we can keep making this show, join us for as little as $5 a month at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.
In Multitude news, we have a bunch of cool new merch available! Spirits has a digital coloring book AND new copper pins made in collaboration with Shaker & Spoon, HORSE has beautiful phone backgrounds, Potterless has freshly restocked tees and pins, and as you know JTP has Mountain Lobsters merch, a full-color poster of LTC, and NO CAPES, my new guide to reskinning. Getting merch, digital or physical, is a great way to support the shows you love and get something neat in the process. Check it all out at multitude.productions/merch
We are also sponsored by Zombies, Run, an app that turns exercise into an exciting adventure. They combine thrilling audio storytelling with compelling gameplay, most recently a new series of missions called New Adventures. Lots of these don't feature any zombies at all! They range from a sci-fi epic, exploring a mysteriously abandoned colony on Venus, to a fantasy set at Hadrian's Wall, as you race to prevent a war between Roman Legions and Picts, which is a real historical thing that happened! They also have factual New Adventures, including Run the Solar System and Run to the Deep, made with the British Science Association. So learn something as you sweat! Even if you aren't into zombies, you'll find something you'll love. Download now on iPhone and Android - just search for "zombies run"
Finally, we are sponsored this week by BetterHelp, a secure online counseling service. They connect you with licensed counselors through their secure app, letting you message with your therapist and schedule live phone or video sessions. You can also message your counselor in between sessions if you’re worrying about something or think of a topic you want to cover in your next call. Because BetterHelp wants to help you find the best therapeutic match possible, it’s easy and free to switch counselors if need be. And that is the hardest part about having a therapist is having someone that you actually connect with. You look for them, and there are phone calls, it’s like dating, but for your mental health so it’s harder, and you really need it instead of just trying to find someone to kiss. And BetterHelp is also more affordable than traditional counseling, with financial aid also available. You can get 10% off your first month of counseling by signing up at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That’s better h-e-l-p . com / jointheparty for 10% off your first month. Better h-e-l-p . com / jointheparty.
And now, let’s get back to the show.
Eric: Do you guys want to go in or?
Julia: Yeah I wanna go in!
Amanda: Let's do it!
Brandon: Yeah!
Eric: Alright so you three walk to the front door, and you throw it open and inside this room looks like a park.
[Wind blowing through trees, birds chirping occasionally]
Eric: I don't know have you ever been to one of these places but sometimes museums like to put together fake outside and put it inside. So you look around and on the floor there's just like astroturf and there's kind of like a park bench over to one side, and there's like a little stone path that's leading to a big wooden desk which Dr. Morrow is behind. There's also some bookshelves but they're painted like sky blue which leads up to the sky blue ceiling, and there's like a bunch of different like patches of light simulating the outside, especially because you see there are no windows in here because you know you're underground. But like she's really nailed it it does look like it's like noon in June in here.
Amanda (as Aggie): I take it back Milo, we might be in a holodeck.
Brandon (as Milo): I think we might be.
Julia (as Val): I still don't know what a holodeck is.
Amanda (as Aggie): It’s like a room where every side is a TV.
Brandon (as Milo): I have some DVDs for you later, you can borrow them and I'll up to give you some episodes to watch.
Julia (as Val): I only watch blu-ray, but that's okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): I’ll see what I can do.
[Eric cackling]
Eric: As you're standing there talking about Star Trek DVDs, and blu-rays, you also see that like the light kind of changes for a moment it's like a cloud passes over the Sun for a moment, and then it fades away. Inside you see that Dr. Morrow is behind her big wooden desk and with a big chair Dr. Morrow is messing around with something on her desk. Dr. Morrow has like beetlejuice or Claire Saffitz hair, you know she has a little streak in the front. She looks to be in her early 40s, so a little bit older than the way that all of your parents look. There is also something very incongruous about her like you know you've been outside in 2020 you have your phones you look at your everything you look up at someone you're like “oh are you from 1993?” It's like she's been wearing the same outfit, the same clothes it's 1993 and just like kind of waiting for it to come back in style. She's got these big like chunky 70’s glasses, and wearing a denim work shirt, and like unfitted slacks.
Brandon: Is she wearing a choker or?
Eric: No Brandon and she's not a teenager in 1993.
Amanda: Maybe she’ll have like a leather cord necklace, with a stone on it.
Eric: Actually, you know that's probably more likely. Yeah she has a leather necklace and there's like an opal on it, and she's also wearing a lab coat that's got the sleeves all pushed up. She's messing around in what looks like a sandbox, there's a little like two foot by two foot square that has sand in it, and she's kind of just like pushing it around in there. She motions all of you in.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh yeah! Come on, come on, come on in, there's some chairs over by the by the water fountain, you can just grab that and I'm just finishing something up here.
Eric: You see over in the corner there's a literal water fountain that's attached to the wall that's next to like a 1950's style soda machine. There's just like some like white outdoor folding chairs there's like four so you can just go—
Julia: Val’s just like “I got it!” walks over, and grabs all of the chairs.
Eric: Ooo so strong! Grabbing three foldable chairs!
Julia: So strong!
Eric: In Dungeons and Dragons! It's really living out your power fantasy. [laughing] You put them over. So while Val’s doing that, you can see that Dr. Morrow is messing around with the sandbox, and she's kind of like making little— it's like clay almost sand, and she's messing around with like some little figures and kind of makes like a little dog and then she puts her hands up and you can see that like some of the little figures then start to move next to the dog and like the dog barks and other people figures are like petting the little dog figure. She’s like
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Huh I guess, uh they kind of knew what to do. Alright.
Eric: And she smushes it and kind of smooths it back out, and pushes pushes the sandbox over over to the side.
Brandon (as Milo): What?!
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm really sorry Dr. Morrow, I know that we have a lot to talk about but did you just like invent life?! Like I'm sorry what was that?!
Brandon (as Milo): What?!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh! You haven't seen this is the hmm, I guess we would call it the Golem Box. It's kind of like just clay and sand that we've shot a bunch of energy through, and it has very— as long everything is kind of attached in here as you put it together, you gotta just like make something that feeds off of our preconceived notions of what a kind of society is supposed to do, and how there's was interact with each other so you just got to make a thing and they kind mess around. It just kind of a fun thing I've been messing around with. But I it's so nice to meet all of you you all look different than I imagined you would. I guess it's when you like listen to a podcast, and the face, you only see someone through electronic means but it's nice to meet all of you.
Brandon: It’s so weird when you listen to a podcast, and they're way more attractive than they are sounding you know? Like in real life they’re super attractive.
Amanda (as Aggie): I know we've met briefly before at the parade at the charity thing. How did you know Milo and Val?
Julia (as Val): That is also a question I would like to know.
Brandon (as Milo): [Excitedly] Do you know me!?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I do! Listen we have plenty of time for everything, take a seat you want anything?
Julia: Val puts the chairs out.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Thank you, thank you Val, l appreciate it. You want anything? You can just go over the soda machine, and it kind of gives you whatever whatever drink you're looking for.
Amanda: I definitely need a moment so I'm gonna go over.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I get some water cause I'm a little parched!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Sure if you want water, just use the water fountain but uh you know the soda machines, uh well it's more like depending on how much you want if you want a bottle’s worth, use the soda machine but the water fountain is for just singular fountain drinking.
Eric: So you two go over to them and it has like a little screen where it says “what kind of liquid do you want?” with a little keyboard on both.
Julia (as Val): Please grab me a beer! I need several beers, it's been a weird day.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: I type in beer whiskey shot.
[Eric laughs]
Julia: Hell yeah!
Eric: Okay there's like a secondary question pops up was like “would you like that in the same bottle or different ones?”
AManda: Different and then I have quantity up to two.
Eric: Okay great so then it goes [makes clunking sounds] and you pop it open, and you see that all of the bottles are like Dr. Morrow branded, it's like Morrow Corp and it has her face doing a little thumbs up. You can see that there are two bottles of beer, and to like squat bottles each with one ounce of whiskey.
Amanda (as Aggie): [Whispering] Uh, Milo I think she has a replicator.
Brandon (as Milo): [Whispering back] Oh my god, wait let me try something!
Brandon: And I type in tea Earl Grey hot.
Eric: and there's a secondary screen that pops up it says “milk, sugar, lemon?”
Brandon (as Milo): Uh no, thank you.
Eric: Okay that goes [more clunking noises] and you pick it up, it's a glass bottle so it's hot, but it's filled with your Earl Grey tea.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): You know we don't usually recommend doing it for hot things, you can do it, but you know it's more strange, it's a weirdness I think it kind of makes it a little different. Because you're in it so it's all the same bottle really but no come on. Sit, sit, sit, we have a we have a lot to talk about.
Amanda: I pass Val their beer and shot.
Julia: Chug, drink chugged.
Eric: Amazing.
Brandon: I burn my mouth a little bit.
Eric: True to life Brandon, true to life.
Amanda: I know!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay well it's so nice for all of you to come over here, I know I don't usually get phone calls at this hour from regular citizens, but it's still pretty cool. So well, what's going on? What's up?
Julia (as Val): I think first we should address how you know Milo, and myself.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Mmm that's right okay—
Julia (as Val): As people who have never met you before.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No, no, that's fine well you know—
Brandon (as Milo): I feel like I've met you, I feel like we're close, I feel like we're connected you know? I feel like I've known you for my entire life.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Which of the memoirs did you read?
Brandon (as Milo): Oh just all of them!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Ah so you probably know me about 70%, that's fine the 30% very crucial.
Julia (as Val): I read the graphic novel version—
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Ooo, they took some liberties with me on that one unfortunately.
Julia (as Val): That’s fair, it made it more interesting.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I’m sure, it was good when I became ten feet tall.
Julia (as Val): It was.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I know it was a dream sequence ultimately, but it was very cool it was out of all the things I know how to do I cannot make myself taller.
Julia (as Val): It's a fucking shame.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Huh yeah, so um well okay, well I can say that I would like to tell you that I know every single citizen in Lake Town City equally, and I can recognize faces but ordinarily I would say that to regular people. But I did see the three of you defeats some bad guys in a bank. So that is how I know who you three are.
Brandon (as Milo): Whaaaaat?
Julia (as Val): Milo, you cannot keep pretending that wasn't you at the bank. We all know it was you at the bank.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I actually I have biometric scanners that say in fact it was Milo Lane at the bank.
Brandon (as Milo): That's fair, that's fair, okay.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Also at one point you did scream “my name is Milo!”
Brandon (as Milo): I did no such thing that is a lie. \
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): You didn’t, but I figure that I could just go on a roll there. But no, I do know in fact it was the three of you. Yes. Good, no great job! Thank you so much for defending the city, as the mayor of this entire thing, the whole shebang I'm pretty stoked about it, so thank you.
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean I feel like we only did kind of half the job, because a lot of them got away, and in fact that's what we were doing tonight. We were trying to sort of check out if there was any unfinished business from that because—
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh that's where you were? Where —where did you, I assume this is related to the mountain lobster?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes, so you know I'm the caretaker for the historic district,
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Of course, of course.
Amanda (as Aggie): And the boathouse in the historic district, um has had some lights on at weird times and I just went over to check it out brought in Milo and Val because they were over having dinner, and we saw some suspicious stuff. And when they tried to attack me and drive me out of the house, I ended up checking out the basement the dock level of the boathouse and yeah just a super giant mountain lobster in a pool that ended up escaping.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Ah, okay, that's interesting…
Amanda (as Aggie): So mostly wanted to know, what? Why? And How?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay well what: it sounds like there is a giant mountain lobster now swimming in our water supply. Which could be a problem, we’ll come to that—
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, not ideal.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yeah you know in New York City, there are tiny little crustacean organisms swimming through the water, so I can't imagine we didn't have that before, but if we only one large one. I think like the parts of shrimp, not so much of a problem, but I will look into thank you. As for the how: I don't know that it's not a thing that I personally have been working on, if it was in the boathouse though, that does make sense because all of the guys who you beat up in the bank were calling themselves Nephews? Are they related?
Amanda (as Aggie): Less beat up, than subdued but yeah. Listen I'm—I'm sorry to say it I don't want to put her in trouble but they're related to Ma, and apparently has some business troubles and that's what they were at the bank to do is to steal a sign that someone was auctioning?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Hmm it was Ma’s sign, I assume?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yeah, she uh, they kind of cleared out of that area. They left the ice cream shop kind of abandoned and we didn't know what to do in the city. Collectors had to go over there and we took what we had just try to recoup the money to the— I mean it all goes back into Lake Town City so that explains it. I have heard Ma’s not doing too well so that might be part of it, I didn't they all are screaming for some sort of justice or restitution that they were the backbone of putting all this together, but of course you know whatever a bunch of rowdy boys will say when they're upset. I guess we'll come back to that and whether or not it's true that well the larger point and I'm so glad that all three of you are here. Let's go back to something that Aggie said here, it's not that you all kind of just took care of them it's that you took care of it with quite an amount of style really.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): And she pushes a button under her desk and like a big-screen TV just kind of like folds out from the side, and this is like held up by a robot arm and you see it it's like a gif then like flips between all three of you. Aggie there's one of you running superhumanly fast from the main action area over to the computer geek who is working on the vault, and just like running much faster than a regular person should. Then it flips to a gif of Val who is shaking and then just walloping one of the shrimp boys which goes on a loop for a few rounds.
Julia: And Val just nods.
Amanda: That’s me.
Eric: Yeah, and then it goes to Milo who of course is hiding pops up, and a ghost hand comes out of his chest and grabs the shrimp boy who is holding the sign trying to run away.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Does he know I can see— we all see this, right? He knows? He’s just in denial?
Julia (as Val): Yeah a little bit.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yup.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Milo, there's no reason for you to hide anything from me I mean, I know quite a lot, and I know that you're great at you're great at the museum, and thank you so much for your work that you do there.
Brandon (as Milo): Thank you for your great work you've bestowed upon humanity.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I appreciate it, thank you. I know about your cat—
Brandon (as Milo): What?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): And I know about your dad!
Brandon (as Milo): What?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh yeah Hank, Hank and I go way back—
Brandon (As Milo): What?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well hmm, so I have a whole thing that I want to tell you three but, first this might all seem a little bit strange, I just need all of you let's all just be truthful with each other. Okay, I'll tell you all the truth and you can tell me all the truth when I ask you questions!
Julia (as Val): That's fair, I am a true believe in quid pro quo.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That’s fair, yes, exactly. Bringing Latin— I know if I have the chance to bring Latin to it, I do, thank you, Val.
Julia (as Val): Well listen the church was right when they used Latin in the testaments.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well I don’t know how to deal with that, I am a woman of science.
[Everyone laughing]
Amanda: Never met a Vatican one truther before,
[Eric and Julia laughing]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): So I guess uh let me start at the end, because that's usually how I like to do my presentations I lay out the big conclusion, and I amaze everyone and then I kind of work backwards and I prove it.
Amanda: Aggie is taking serious notes for the next middle school tour group she has to do.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): So I think with your special powers, we can defend Laketown city—
Amanda (as Aggie): Um powers it's a strong word, I think. I'm trying here to be honest with you but if you know what we know, then it's not a thing that anyone has talked about.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No no I understand, and I think that this is you know this is the gambit at the front. Now I can tell you what I know but I want you to think about —the three of you if you have any other friends, and me. We can do this together and clean up what's happening in Lake Town City. So I got you hooked let's start at the beginning, the year was 1985 and I was just a submarine scientist who wanted to get away from all the hustle and bustle of academia, so I found a tiny town called Lake Town or Laketon as many of the boys who were out on the ski-doos and the in the lake in the middle told me.
Amanda (as Aggie): True.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): So I thought “wellm what if I just did some extracurricular activities up here?” So as you might have known I created a new element that fueled the way of the United States, and powers everything you might have heard of it, it's called diaphorum!
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah we've definitely heard of it.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That's true, I assume that Milo and Aggie of course, but Val I don't know how many times you’ve been to some of the educational centers around LTC.
Julia (as Val): We had to go in 5th grade, and then I think they made us go again in 9th, I don't really remember.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh you've heard it twice! That's almost retention, that counts. So you all know that the story that they tell you well the other thing that happened was I figured out later, is that it did release a certain amount of radiation into the area which seemed to be as contained as one might think radiation is. I ended up calling it delta radiation because it changes things.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh.
Julia (as Val): Got it.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It’s a triangle, yeah this is also math and science! Steam baby, funding public schools.
Brandon (as Milo): I got.
Julia: [Laughing] Val just shakes, nods like, “uh-huh sure”
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well it turns out the people in the area who did get delta radiation who did get changed were related to all of you. Aggie I know that your parents Lucille and Patrick were summering up there, Val I know that your mom Rosa had an art studio up there and seemed to be making… Well she was making phallic pottery then I guess you just say—
Julia (as Val): What? We don’t have to disclose the kind of art that my mother does. You can just say she was making art.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): She was making penis art, and Milo. Milo I guess I don't know much about you, and the way that your family shook out but I can only assume that your family was there as well because you know of the ghost hand. But I do know your dad quite well because you know Milo, I don't know if you've told your friends but I guess I'll say this in the coolest way possible. He is a secret agent.
Amanda (as Aggie): What?
Julia (as Val): What fuck?!
Brandon (as Milo): What?
Amanda (as Aggie): Milo are you a cop?
Brandon (as Milo): I'm not a cop I promise!
Amanda (as Aggie): Is your dad a cop?
Brandon (as Milo): I know it's what a cop could say, but like I know that's what a cop would say but like, I promise I'm really not. I don't even know what cops are. What's a cops? What’s a law? I have no idea.
Julia (as Val): I'm very concerned again now.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I did just say that in the coolest way possible but Hank is more of a government employee. Hank Lane works at the office of Technology Assessment, a government task force that's starting in the early 80s started looking out for what technology does the United States, and how we can educate people, senators, representatives, and the President himself about what just what technological issues there are around. So they kind of noticed that the diaphorum happened, and they came and came over to Lake Town to talk to me, and that's when I met Hank.
Brandon (as Milo): I genuinely just thought my dad read books and wrote reports like at a desk. I don't know about the secret agent thing.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Again, I was trying to be cool in front of your friends, but your dad does that 99% of the time.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay cool.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): 1% of the time is when he hangs out with me.
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean that's kind of cool okay.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah I guess it's cool.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): So the government noticed what had happened to everyone in the area, and they also noticed that all of the people who had been affected by the delta radiation were kind of “kicking butt” as the kids would say. Again to make a some prescient examples, I know people have been loving the penis art that Rosa has been making for years and—
Amanda (as Aggie): Can you really just call it artwork? For my comfort—
Julia (as Val): I've really just— can you stop saying penis, that would be excellent.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay, everyone loves her weiner art.
[Julia groans]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Patrick and Lucille has were crushing it at Morrow court for years, they've been semi-retired since they were 40.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah they're skydiving? Or they’re horseback riding in the Himalayas right now.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh they have? Oh I thought they were still I thought they were still doing the art of motorcycle repair thing.
Amanda (as Aggie): No they racked that one up.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh now that is cool!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): This is all cool!
Amanda (as Aggie): It's kind of anyway, yep—
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): We're all very cool people and we're all gonna be cool together, just remember the whole began the thing we're gonna come back to that. So that happened in uh in the early 90’s the government kind of threw everyone together said they couldn't leave because they wanted to study everyone for science. Turns out everyone was just kicking butt so eventually when you get a lot of people together, they meet each other and they have kids and they all kind of stayed in the town, and the town became a city in a bigger city, and a bigger city and now we have Lake Town City as it is. What I didn't know if anyone would do anything with how good they are. Your parents and the other people who had lived in the original Lake Town they just kind of used their power for personal gain, they were artists, they were successful, they got to retire, they got rich, they got famous. I guess that's fine you're allowed to do whatever you want with the things that you do and impress people and use your skills, and however it is. But I wanted to know what their children ended up doing, so I always kept tabs on all the people who I knew, in the original quarantine town.
Brandon (as Milo): Hoo boy, that's not creepy at all.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It’s just like on Facebook and Google Alerts.
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean Emily is a little bit creepier to be honest.
Julia (as Val): Yeah that is true.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Right Emily for example, she did more, Emily from the Slaughter family she ended up just being a real busybody, and I know Aggie all of your siblings they’re off doing their own thing. But this is an interesting proposition here you three decided to do a good thing with the powers that you have. And I like that. So what if we could all protect the city together? You use your powers for good, we make sure the city stays the way that it is. and we all do something good on a grand scale. We use all of our powers, and you know I've been doing this I've been a public servant for decades now, and I want an opportunity if this is something that you three are interested in to defend in a city together and use your powers for good. I would love that.
Julia (as Val): I'm just—I guess I'm a little curious what that entails exactly, like I don't personally know if I want to be you know walking dogs, and then someone's like “hey you didn't you stop that house fire over on Elm Street the other day?” You know?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That's true, they do need to update the building code a over on Elm Street, it does catch fire quite a lot.
Julia (as Val): Yes, but that is not the point of my suggestion.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No I understand, that's a good point so I have two choices here and we can talk about this a little bit more. For both of these you would have the support of the city and from me, and whatever that means for you to continue to have I guess a part-time job in city defense. I don't where we're all kind of just working this together, my lawyers can get on this later and we really hammer out what this means we're all to spitballing here. But we can help you with that, and well there are two choices and both of them allow you to not have your name and face out there if you like. The first is: I mean this kind of silly—
Eric: And at this point January hops in and says
Eric (as January): Does anyone need anything? Can I help you with anything?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No January, it's fine.
Brandon (as Milo): I'm gonna need an explanation of that later of January please.
Julia (as Val): Doesn’t have to be right now.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): January’s a him, first of all.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you!
Brandon (as Milo): Sorry, him, yes I apologize.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you, January, being a normal guest.
Eric (as January): Good, I'm glad we're not being weird, because it would be real weird if we were being weird in here. I don't smell any weird with my nose, my rabbit nose, and rabbit ears. Julia (as Val): Weird doesn't have a smell.
Eric (as January): It does to rabbits.
Julia (as Val): Alright that's fucking weird in itself, January you hear me?
[Everyone laughing]
Eric: Dr. Morrow says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well I guess it is a little everything's a little fantastical in here. Well you could be in the classical sense superheroes. You can have a mask in a codename and a costume and like you're you're in the job and you're out the job. You have the job on one side when you're you're wearing the costume, and you're your own person when you're not wearing the costume, and you could also get all the fun accolades of everyone knowing your name and doing the thing that you always wanted to do so there's that one option. The other option is I guess you wouldn't necessarily need to put a domino mask on and have a cool name like—
Amanda (as Aggie): The Knight of Mirrors.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): The Knight of Mirrors yes.
Julia (as Val): Do you know who that is?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No no I don't. It seems like there's some pieces some citizens have taken it upon themselves to do the superhero thing. I guess they've been reading too many comic store watching too many big-budget movies but it seems fun I guess.
Julia (as Val): I would like to point out that you did just tell us that you kept tabs on everyone who like could do cool stuff so—
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I'm not surveilling people what is this 1984? I'm watching them on Facebook!
Julia (as Val): You did show us videos of the bank where we were using our powers!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I asked them— I'm the mayor! I asked them for the videos!
Julia (as Val): Alright.
Brandon (as Milo): What happened in 1984?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): It was Zubaz pants, that's what happened.
Julia (as Val): Ah alright.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sorry I just—I have to say it's after 30 years of thinking that my siblings and I are just really weird, and our parents are just aging really slow, and that's unfortunate when people think your mom is your hotter sister. It's throwing me for a loop a little bit for someone to recognize that all that was real. Did you know that the whole time? Why didn't we have some kind of recognition, or network earlier? Like I had to hear Emily slaughter that some of my classmates had the same you know talents as me.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh she ended up doing that.
Julia (as Val): What? You didn't see the Facebook invite?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No, I didn't. She didn't send it to me.
Amanda (as Aggie): So don't read out texts.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Again, I am not—
Julia (as Val): Listen these are very important questions, and I appreciate that at least Aggie’s asking besides me.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I'm not hacking into your tech, I'm not hacking into your phones, I was more saying I was following them. I am friend with all of your parents on Facebook they share things, I see articles that's more what I meant.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm sorry I I'm not trying to be skeptical, and shut this down, it's just it's a lot to take in. Like my whole life is about serving and protecting Lake Town so I'm with you in theory, but it's just a lot to buy into at once.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No, I understand I mean this isn't the comics. No one is going to show up with ten trillion dollars for the ability to bring superheroes together, and defend everything I mean someone needs to do the legwork and it's annoying. I hate logistics, so many emails, and copy to write, and slack messages, it's just it's it's quite a lot. People don't like doing this so I can understand why no one feel like pulling everything together. It seems that Emily has taken upon herself to do her own thing. Have you talked to her, are you involved?
[Beat of silence]
Julia (as Val): Yes.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah a little bit.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, we talked a little bit. She's the one who to be fully honest with you who encouraged just to check out the boathouse because that's where she heard the Nephews were camping. I don't want to throw her under the bus or anything, but she is saying the same things you are, and wants to get people together.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No I just I know Emily has also been— I've been friends with the Slaughters for a long time and knowing Emily, it took her go getter attitude, and ran with that is nice to hear. It's good,.
Amanda (as Aggie): I do think she is one of those people who likes doing things, and it's pretty weird.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I know it’s fuckin weird.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That's true she sent me many emails. Which I've been told were long, and I did not have time to read. But I got the sense, someone read it back to me I have people for that.
Julia (as Val): I would like to circle back to the part where you said we had two options.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Right, thank you.
Julia (as Val): And one was being ridiculous superheroes so I'm curious to see what option two is.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Sure, sure, so there's option one: ridiculous superheroes put on the mask, have a name, everyone knows you, everyone loves you. That could be cool, yeah I can see how cool this is. The other is you can keep your normal lives, and again this is another part-time job sort of thing but you could be more of a— again I guess I need to say this in the most cool way possible but a secret strike force defending the city.
Brandon (as Milo): Now what is that?
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm pretty into that.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well, you know I could call you up when things are happening, when we need someone to come in and take care of something. This would be a little more secretive in a different way. Although the superhero routes, the masked route I guess we can call it, the mask route you would be able to walk around and relatively play in sight as long as you were disguised. This would be more secretive you would be hiding in plain sight in that way that you would still be your own thing. You could be a dog walker who at night beats up criminals, or a custodian who beats up criminals, or a or a museum educator who uses his ghost powers to beat up criminals.
Julia (as Val): I mean that feels like what we're doing already.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah I think we've been doing that our whole lives.
Brandon (as Milo): Which of these options has the coolest outfit?
Julia (as Val): Ugh, he’s gonna make us wear outfits.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I would say that one is up to you but I would say the superhero one has a cooler outfit.
Julia (as Val): I am NOT going to wear spandex, there is no way you're getting me into spandex.
Brandon (as Milo): What if it's all leather?
Julia (as Val): This is a better option.
Amanda (as Aggie): That sounds like you would wear that anyway.
Julia (as Val): I would probably wear that anyway.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Of course, of course. Listen we have two choices here one is you say yes or no to defending the city and keeping everything good, and the other one is how we're gonna do it. So I guess there are two questions here so.
Julia (as Val): I guess, again I'm sorry we're not going to answer the question immediately I would also just like to point out to like the legal standpoint like vigilantism is illegal, and working with the mayor I would like to know like, hey if I decide to go beat up some you know young adults who are doing crimes, I'm not gonna go to jail for that.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Sure, hmm I think that's a good question. In both situations this would be an established thing that I would have on my docket, and a small important group of people would know that you are on our side. It would be if people knew you outside of the way that you are related to me it might be a little bit outside of my hands. I can do as much as I can. You know we’re talking worst case scenarios here. Let's say I don't know Val becomes Puncherella we’re just spitballing mozzarella and punch together.
Julia (as Val): That’s a terrible name, nope hate that.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay well then we're not gonna use that one.
Brandon (as Milo): That is the best thing I've ever heard. If you're not Puncherella, I will quit this team.
Julia (as Val): How about you fucking Puncherella then.
[Eric laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): How about just punch.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well let's say Val was Puncherella, and everyone—
Julia (as Val): We’re not gonna say that!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well, let's just say we’re spitballing Puncherella, and they become the hero of Little Italy, and then it becomes a whole other thing and it grows, and I can only do so much it might spiral out of control. I think worst case scenario, everything that you have my backing I can do everything that I can.
Amanda (as Aggie): Sounds like maybe some danger pay is in order.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Danger pay would work if you're in dangerous places, you get paid more of course. Don't worry about the pay, you will be taken care of. You don't have to say yes or no to any of these questions, I will also say the time is a little bit more of the essence.
Eric: She goes under a desk and she opens up a drawer and kind of rummages around in there, and she puts a plastic box on the desk. You know like those scientific like cages where you can see everything inside, it's like all that hard plastic and inside there's like a wooden box inside of that plastic box and you look at her and nothing happens for a few seconds. Then the top of the wooden box inside opens up, and this little cartoonish looking bomb climbs out of the box and it has this smug look on its face, and these little feet and it talks in this like chirpy little squirrel language and then it just explodes! It's all self-contained inside of the plastic box but you see that as the explosion fades it kind of fades like little 8-bit pixels, and then after a minute it kind of just repeats. Another little cartoon bomb comes out of the box, swears at all of you, and then it just like explodes and there are more pixels there.
Julia (as Val): The fuck is that?
Amanda (as Aggie): Uhh—
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Danger pay is a good way to say it. I think sooner rather than later we'll need that defense.
Eric: She takes out a note and it says “A time bomb has to go off sometime, Dr. Morrow.” It's signed into this big flourishing script with the name Guttenberg.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): To your original question, people are making things that I'm not sure how it happens. We've worked on some sort of technology like this but never to the sophistication/ I don't know where the pixels are coming from either, and I I do not know who this Gutenberg person is but every day I am finding boxes of little bombs, of little gremlins, of little like walking robots, and they all explode, and they all end up in little pixels, and they all have a note from Gutenberg. The Nephews we can and should deal with as well, but I would like your answer sooner rather than later.
Amanda (as Aggie): Really have to know more about January though.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, what is going on with that?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh he's a rabbit.
Julia (as Val): Yeah no I got that!
Eric: [In the tune of the Join the Party theme song] Do do do do!
[Everyone laughing]
[Theme plays]