16. The Battle I

Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #246-01: staff members should strongly encourage all campers to participate in their age group’s summer musical. Regardless if they are pop-u-lar or need to be more chill, this is the perfect opportunity for campers to go the distance, let the sunshine in, and become one singular sensation.

Rule #256-02: you must have a driver’s license to drive the surrey with the fringe on top.

15. The Errands II

Camp Diogenes Staff Handbook, Rule #1041: Although it is easy and understandable that staff members may misplace personal items, it is tantamount that we keep our eyes on our things. You never know if your misplaced keychain could become the final piece of a magical doomsday device or integrated into a part-organic, part-inorganic beast that lives under our very feet.